#leebas letters

[siredsong]

no calls

this is something i wrote about a situation i'm going through right now and i thought i would share it here

i know it's been a while since i've said anything on here but hiii i hope all of you that are still around are doing well. love you lots :)

the first time you called

i was caught off guard

scared and nervous of how you would react

when you saw me

the next time you called

it was just our voices

mingling together

nervous at first but comfortable after a while

existing in that space for hours

talking about everything and anything

falling asleep together

and thus the phone calls began

we would text on the weekends

cause no calls at my house

but you were never good at texting

and i was never good at saying what i want

and so the calls became more frequent

i would hide away

whisper

just to hear your voice

even when i was at home

when no calls could be made

i made that exception for you

i would constantly imagine the next time i would talk to you

what i would say

how you would respond

i would make these scripts in my head

just to be let down time after time

but i never learned

and then i came back

and the calls were less frequent

i was confused

does he not like me anymore?

i ignored it

you came and saw me

time after time

we kissed

and i was hooked

i didn’t care that we barely ever texted

i didn’t care that we didn’t talk like we used to

i only wanted to feel your lips on mine

your body next to mine

your hands entwined with mine, around my neck

and your eyes locked on mine

i didn’t care that the calls became infrequent

that it was always me that reached out

constantly feeling like you didn’t want to talk to me

voicing those thoughts

and then feeling like i was annoying you

... always feeling like i was annoying you

and then it stopped

i didn’t want a relationship

and you did

so there was silence ...

... for a week

but then i called you

and you answered

you always answered

you asked if i wanted you to come see me

knowing that i would say yes

even after you said you couldn’t anymore

you asked

i said yes

and we went down the spiral again

i wonder when it’ll go to no calls once again

[fxllxnbx]

📩 📢

📩 - Does your muse prefer to physically write letters or send them online? What is their reasoning?-He likes to physically write them, he feels like they have more meaning than online texts. 

📢 - Does your muse have a loud personality or a quiet one? Do they enjoy being the center of attention, or would they rather watch and listen? -He’s balanced in between. When he’s around a group of friends, people he’s comfortable with, he’s loud, hyper even. Social life does him good. Sometimes if it’s just a friend, but an equally loud and happy friend, example @ai-leebae, he’s also loud. Now if it’s a quiet friend, or if he’s not in a good mood, or in a group that he isn’t that comfortable… He’s reserved, silent. 

[siredsong]

my friend convinced me to do this matchmaking survey thing that someone on campus made and tell me why i got tWO matches kjasdkansd this is so funny. i dont even know if i’ll actually message them or not cause they look scary and intimidating but please, they really gave me two. one of the guys looks like he takes cool photos based on his ig so perhaps i’ll hit him up and ask him to take pictures of me kdnkasd anyways happy fucking valentines day <3 

[siredsong]

i made a collab playlist so add songs here if u wanna my angels!! 

from my lovelies <3

[siredsong]

you mean the world to me, more than the world, more than the stars, more than the air we breathe, more than life itself. will you be mine?

all i want is to be your solace when the nights are too dark, when the stars don’t shine, when the lights burn out, when the fire no longer blazes, let me take your hand and guide you to my heart, where you shall abide for the rest of your days, when the universe fizzles out and in its place lay you and me, an infinite beating of two hearts in one soul 

[siredsong]

ok it’s been like an hour and i cannot do this LMAO im hopeless 😭😭😭how the fuck do people even study? like i never properly learned how to so im just sitting here staring at my textbook and hoping that i absorb something but so far we’re not looking too good 🥴drop tips on how to study i am desperate. 

[siredsong]

<banging on pots and pans> RELEASE THE WIP! RELEASE THE WIP!

i shall give u a….. hmm what to call it….. uhhhh a nibble if u will :)

THE WIP IS NOT READY FOR FULL REVEAL YET, HENCE IT BEING A W.I.P. that stands for work. in. progress. if u didn’t know that granny ;p anyways here u go u big baby it’s not even that good, ur setting urself up for disappointment u hAVE BEEN WARNED

Your eyes widen when you see the way his gaze has darkened to a shade that only comes out rarely, showcasing his desire in a way that further ignites the already seething fire within you. No, no, no, you weren’t going to last, not when he only looks at you like that when he wants you to become an utter mess beneath him, when he wants to see you writhe. The worst part? He doesn’t even have to touch you to get you this hot.

[siredsong]

ive fallen and i cant get up ! 

[siredsong]

yknow when u find a new song by an artist u don’t really know and u really like it so u add it to a playlist and u listen to it all the time and u go to listen to other songs the artist has made but they just… don’t feel the same? cause you’ve gotten so used to their voice singing that One Song that you’ve played over and over so hearing this new song with their voice is Strange. or is that just me…

[siredsong]

coming to terms with the fact that im not a very ambitious person. i just want to live a quiet, simple life and be around people that i care about and who truly care about me. some pets would be nice too. cause i dont think a fast-paced life is for me. just thinking about it makes me overwhelmed. was seeing and thinking about things that are to come in the future if i stick with my current career plan and it was just stressful moment after stressful moment after stressful moment... for years. interviews, exams, decisions, more school, more interviews, more exams, more decisions. stressful moments that i cant even begin to think about, let alone experience. 

living a quiet life would be nice... i wish i would let myself do that. however i am too proud and stubborn and cannot simply let myself exist because of xyz... so many factors go into everything that i do. makes me wanna run away so that the only person who has a say in what i do is me. as it should be, but alas i live in a society... 

[siredsong]

drop ur discords lovelies !!!! 

[siredsong]

i go back to college tomorrow… i’m ready but i’m not ready waaahhhh i’m ready to leave my house but i’m not ready to wake up at 7am everyday 😭

[siredsong]

happy new year, my beautiful angels! i’m so grateful for every single of you. here’s to a better 2022 <3

[siredsong]

i finally put up my rolling stones poster that i had been wanting to put up for months over this patch on the wall where there’s no paint. feeling kinda accomplished. tbh i dont even really listen to the rolling stones, i just got the poster for free :o

and i finished all of my work early today before i went to the aquarium! and i saw the beluga whales!!! and i bought a penguin plushie as a small reward kinda and also because last year when i went to the aquarium there was this beluga whale plushie that i really wanted and didnt get and i regretted not getting it sooooo bad so i didnt wanna make that mistake this year. and this penguin is soooo soft :( my mom thought it was cute too so :) 

[siredsong]

i find it sO fucking sexy that jungkook has one arm just completely covered in tattoos and the other arm is bARE like ????? this man’s duality in personality, persona, voice, stage presence, and even his bODY is going to make me combust, and now he has an eYEBROW piercing??? no no no there is no way i am going to survive. 

[siredsong]

there’s something so nice about taking the time to do your full skincare routine and being soft and gentle with yourself first thing in the morning/ right before you sleep at night. and then afterwards you’re sitting there with ur face all clean and soft and ur lips all pretty and moisturized. i feel so pretty, it’s amazing <3