#leaving me with images and ideas I can no longer piece together.

[carmineskiesandspidereyes]

they could have made a religion based on Euler's formula if they chose

did you know they say calculus is the language of God. did you know they tried to hold math up to infinity like a candle to the void. did you know statisticians plunged into the vastness of random chance and picked out patterns and equations and eight hundred ways to tell you how big your inevitable errors are and how far off those guesses at errors might be. math haters I can't sit with you anymore. human innovation is cradled in these ancient, methodical, desperate attempts at understanding what we are not designed to understand

[cat-got-your-tongue]

too sweet for me

Dp&W!Logan howlett x fem!reader

Summary: You've not been feeling like yourself, and you take it out on logan until one day he decides he can't take it anymore.

Content Warnings: established relationship | spanking | mention of safe word | dom/sub undertones | fingering | maturbation (male) | facials | so sorry if I left anything out. If you tell me I'll fix it.

Word count: 4.2k

Authors note: I'm still trying to get into the swing of writing. I hope you enjoy. Not proofread. My requests are open. Pictures used are not mine found on Pinterest. Divider by @saradika-graphics

My work will always be 18+ Minors do not interact.

You had been in a foul mood all day, no better yet all week. Any little thing Logan did got under your skin. He used your shampoo, and suddenly, you were slinging the bottle across the bathroom. He made your coffee, and you snatched it away from him. He said good morning, and you responded with a roll of your eyes and a "good morning" under your breath. It seemed like all you wanted to do was pick a fight. And your attitude was aimed solely at him.

Logan noticed how relaxed and sweet you were with Wade. He watched as you laughed, and it he wouldn't lie it stung him a bit. You seemed to enjoy that annoying fucks company more than his. Logan had been trying so hard to get back into your good graces for the past couple of days now. When he spoke to you, he made sure his tone of voice was soft. He didn't want to trigger whatever animosity you had for him.

He didn't like feeling as if he were walking on eggshells around you. But he didn't know what to do - or what he did for you to act this way. The only thing he knows is that when you got this way, he hated it. Logan had a hard time controlling his temper, and you certainly knew how to test his patience. So much so that he had to leave the apartment you two live in and spend the night at Wades place.

Today, he had enough.

Logan had been trying to put your bookshelf together today. One you picked out at ikea, and he made a comment on building you a better one that would last much longer. You were hell bent on this particular shelf that could fit right in the corner of your living room. You bugged him all week to do it. But he had been busy working, and then by the time he came home, he was exhausted.

"Baby, can ya' grab me a beer while i do this?" He spoke up as he looked over the instructions. His eyes trained on the visual image on the flimsy piece of paper. His vision straining a bit.

"No," you snapped when logan asked you to get him a beer from the fridge. "Get it yourself. I'm not your maid."

Logan sighed and took a deep breath. He didn't want to snap at you, but you made it really fucking hard not to. "Fine."

He got up, tossing the instructions down and going over to the fridge. You were standing there as his shoulder brushed yours, and his hard gaze fell on you. You shrunk down a bit and went back to sit down at the table. You didn't know why you were being an asshole. You wish you weren't this way. You always seemed to get agitated with the people who never deserved it.

"Wanna tell me what crawled up your ass?"Logan popped his beer open and took a long swig. "I'm trying not to react but it's really hard dealing with your bitchy attitude all week and I've been trying my fuckin' best to please ya."

Logan regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. Your nonchalant reaction to them only pissed him off more.

You didn't respond. You only shrugged your shoulders and went back to reading your book at the table. You couldn't tell him what was wrong, because you had no idea either. He didn't do anything. You were just not in a good mood, and unfortunately, logan was taking the blunt of it. You know his feelings were probably hurt. Especially after seeing you so upbeat and happy when Wade was around.

Logan took another sip of his beer and slammed the bottle down on the table right next to you, causing you to jump a little. He leaned over the back of the chair. his lips ghosting your ear. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and you didn't need to see his face to know he's mad. You've pushed him too far. He had been patient, and you kept pushing. You kept snapping and being mouthy.

"Go in the bedroom and get undressed." His voice is low and dangerous in your ear.

"But" you tried to argue back, knowing what he wanted to do.

"Don't." His voice was soft again. "No buts I've had about enough of your fuckin' attitude. Go in the bedroom, get undressed, and I'll meet ya' in there."

You turned to look up at him from your seat. Your eyes pleaded for him to change his mind. Yet you knew you deserved it. Everything you've done and said led up to this moment.

"Now." He commanded and picked up his beer and finished it off.

You quickly rose to your feet and carefully got up, trying not to look up at him. He could be intimidating when he's angry. He'd never actually hurt you. You and logan had this agreement since you began dating. Punishments were a pretty normal thing. Logan hated giving them just and much as you hated getting them. (Well, you and him didn't hate them all the time) they did help you, and he knew that. All of the times, when you were overwhelmed with emotions and didn't know how to handle them — this was an outlet for you to let it all out. You would ask for a punishment. Logan always gave you what you wanted and pampered you when it was all done.

You went into your shared room and stripped down until you were completely naked. You sat on the edge of the bed, hanging your head. Hoping logan would take some pity on you. The room was dark, save for the sunset peaking through your curtains.

Logan sat down at the chair you were in before leaving. He tried to collect himself before joining you. He really just wanted you to talk to him. He wanted to understand you. Understand what he did wrong. Understand why you seemed so angry, but he remembered your eyes. You looked so sad and unsure of yourself. All he wanted to do was scoop you up in his arms and protect you from your feelings. He knows doing this will help clear your mind.

He sat there for a couple more minutes, letting you anticipate what was coming, but also trying to calm himself.

Finally, logan walked into the room and saw you at the edge of the bed. You looked defeated. His eyes softened slightly, but he knew he had to go through with this. If you didn't want the punishment, you would use your safeword. You've used it many times before. Since you didn't say anything and you complied to strip off your clothes. He sensed you wanted this punishment if it made you nervous.

"Look at me, baby." He walked to stand above you. His finger lifted your chin up. Your eyes met his. You made it so hard for him to stay mad at you.

You were just so sweet even if you were a fucking pain in the ass to handle. Too sweet for someone like him sometimes.

You looked up at him, his touch was gentle on your face. His hazel eyes weren't boring into yours. He seemed remorseful for what he was about to do. He knew he had to. He couldn't let you continue being so rude and disrespectful towards him. He also knew you needed this. Your body language told him everything.

Logan let go of your chin and took off his white tank top, throwing it across the room. Your eyes ran up and down his body. Your thighs squeezed together. You could feel your arousal already pooling between your legs.

He ran a hand through his hair. "How do ya' want it, hand or belt?"

You hesitated to answer at first.

"Uhmm, your hand." Your voice was quiet.

Logan smirked, noting how quickly your little attitude was already changing. "Alright, it'll be my hand, and we'll do ten spanks. Sound good?"

You nodded and bit down on your bottom lip.

"Use your words, baby." Logan got closer, invading your space. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, his grip firm, but still gentle. He could feel his cock already beginning to strain against the cold metal of his zipper.

"Sounds good." You spoke again quietly.

"Okay." He leaned down and gave the corner of your mouth a quick kiss. "Get up and lay over my lap. You remember what to say if you want this to stop. Yeah?"

"I say red." You jump down off the bed. Logan reluctantly releases your hips but moves back slightly to give you some space.

He sat down in the same spot you were sitting in. You stood there in front of him, your body bare for him. He took you all in and licked his lips. If you weren't being such a brat he'd fuck you instead. God, the things he'd do to you right now. He had to fight those urges. Those primal urges to pull you in his lap and drive his cock deep in your weeping cunt.

You wanted to apologize. You knew it was too little too late for that. No amount of apologizing would help you now. The thought of logan spanking you sent waves of arousal and fear through your body.

"Good girl." Logan praised. His deep, husky voice made your clit pulsate. He reached out, yanking you by the waist, and threw you over his lap.

You gasped as you were now laying across his thighs. His belt buckle digging into your side. Your feet dangling over the floor as you tried not to fall off him. He probably would like that, though. Seeing you fall and watching you get embarrassed.

"Lo, are you mad at me?" You turned to glance up at him over your shoulder.

His quirked an eyebrow up at you. "Mad? Don't ya' think it's a little too late to be askin' me that?" He sighed. "Yeah, I'm mad, but we'll discuss all of that later. Right now, I want ya' to count every spank I give your ass. Okay?"

You turned your head and looked down. You tried to keep your focus on a spot on the floor. It usually helped you deal with the pain and slight humiliation would feel. "Okay."

Logan rubbed his hand over the plush skin of your bottom. You heard him hum as you laid over his lap. Your ass reminded him of a ripe peach he wanted to sink his teeth into. Juicy, firm, soft all the things he liked.

"I hate doin' this. Punishing ya'. I'd much rather be balls deep inside ya' but you just had to hurt my feelings." Logan spoke from behind you. He wasn't really speaking to you rather than at you. He didn't care for your response or sorrys.

"Lo...I- I don't mean to." Your voice broke and your eyes blurred with tears.

You never thought how you were acting would actually hurt his feelings. Logan's never been good at expressing that before. Maybe your sudden mood swings were starting to really affect him. Even if it was your way of asking to be punished — or you were just not feeling like yourself and the sudden wave of sadness made you lash out.

Regardless, it wasn't fair to logan. You see that now. You always saw him as this invincible man where nothing could hurt him. Not even harsh words and the silent treatment. You were wrong. So very wrong.

"Start counting." He interrupted you. His hand, going back to connect with your ass with a harsh slap.

You whimpered, and tears fell from your eyes. "O-ne."

Logan rubbed over the spot he just spanked. You were already crying, and he's barely gotten started. He didn't give you much time to collect yourself before his hand was reconnecting in hard slap to your ass. He watches as the skin ripples from the impact. His cock growing harder watching your ass jiggle as you took your punishment. He had to bit his tongue and not make a comment on it, know how you'd you get embarrassed. Even if he'd love seeing you get that way.

"T-two." You cried out. Your tears falling down your cheeks and onto the floor beneath you, creating small salty puddles.

Logan's hand reeled back again, spanking you over and over. He didn't slow down or go easy on you. Every swat felt like your ass all the way down to your thighs would go numb from the pain. You were a sobbing mess as you struggled to even count for him.

"Shh, shh baby, we're almost done." He soothed you and kissed your temple. "You're doing so good."

Your mind was in a haze now. You couldn't remember being upset. The only thing on your mind was logan and the stinging pain he was inflicting to your ass. His rough hands groping at your skin before delivering another harsh blow.

You could feel your juices running down your legs. You hoped logan wouldn't notice how turned on you also were getting. The more you cried and got it all out, the better you felt. As weird as it probably sounded to some. This made you feel at ease once it was all said and done.

Logan noticed you go silent. The only sound coming from your lips were soft cries.

"Do ya' know what number we're at now?" He rubbed down your back, avoiding your ass for now.

You shook your head. "N-no."

"We're at eight. almost done." Logan reassured, his hand slowly inching down your back and resting on the curve of your sore cheeks.

You took a few steady deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Repeating the action over and over again.

Logan observed the way you were trying to pull yourself together. He gave you a small smile before continuing on. He gave your ass a light little tap, signaling you he was about to start again. You braced yourself as your body hung over his lap. Your toes danced across the floor while you desperately tried to keep yourself perfectly balanced.

"Nine." You yelped a little louder. His hand came down again. The sounds that were made each time his palm connected to your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

"....t-ten." Your voice was raspy, barely even above a whisper as you counted the final blow.

"There we go, baby. We're done. We're all done." Logan went right back into soothing you. He looked down towards your ass watching your body trembling. "You're so strong, ya' know that? So good."

You tried to catch your breath as you choked back another sob. Your face was tear stained, and your makeup ruined.

Logan rubbed up and down the back of your thighs as well. His hand sneaking in between them. He bit his lip as he noticed how wet you got during your punishment. Your inner thighs sticky with your slick. He ran a finger along your wet slit, teasing you. Your nails dig into his strong thighs.

"Mmm, you feel so soft." He purred above you.

Your pussy was drenched with your juices. Your body was still shaking from your punishment. Your ass felt like it was on fire. Logan moved his middle finger up and down along your slit before taking his middle and index finger to spread open your sensitive lips. You turned your head to watch as logan admired your sex dripping for him. He loved the way it glistened. He watched as your walls clenched around nothing, practically begging him to fill you up.

All that attitude, sadness, and feelings of self-doubt of yours were fading away.

"Logan, please," you begged him. Your voice, still raspy. He did a double take at your disheveled appearance. Your eyes bloodshot with your mascara running, smudging your under eyes.

Logan felt so bad for making you cry like that. He felt even worse for not taking it easy on you when he was spanking you. Even if it helped you get over whatever it was you that bothered you. But he couldn't deny how hard it made him as well.

He didn't respond as he spread your lips further apart, letting the cold air of your bedroom hit your entrance. Your face heating up while logan fully exposes you. Your clit throbbing as it goes ignored. He takes his thumb and rubs the outer part of your opening, getting it nice and ready. You moan, and logan doesn't stop looking at you.

"Ya' have the tightest little pussy." He commented, feeling how your entrance wants to take in his thumb, but he doesn't push it in. Not yet.

Instead, he pulls it away, and you whine; a small pout forming on your face. You began squirming over his lap, his erection pressing right against your stomach. You can see just how feral he wants to be become. His pupils blown completely until out, you can't see the color anymore. His nostrils flared while smelling your arousal all in the room.

"This is how it's gonna be. I'll let ya' cum on my fingers. That's all ya' get tonight. Jus' my fingers. You don't deserve my dick. " His tone was strong and commanding as he told you how the rest of the night was going to go.

That's when you knew your punishment didn't just stop once the spanking was over with.

"Will you still help me get cleaned up afterward?" You felt a little disappointed and on the verge of crying again when he rejected you. Logan usually always fucked you after your punishment. This time it was so different.

"Baby, I'm always gonna take of ya." Logan reassured. Which almost made you feel better.

He finally slipped a finger inside you. Your walls instinctively squeeze around his thick digit. You cried out in pleasure as you squirmed more. The pad of his finger slowly rubbing and pressing firmly on that spongey spot on your walls. You arched your back and dug your nails into his skin through his jeans.

"Hmmphf.... more lo— I need more." You begged.

Your head felt dizzy from all the sensations you felt. Your ass was still in so much pain but logans attention to your pussy kept your mind off it. Normally, he would tease you longer. Make you beg until you were a complete wreck. He couldn't bring himself to do that tonight. He felt guilty for spanking you the way he did. But still wasn't going to give you his cock.

Logan gently pushed another finger inside you. You bit your lip to stifle a moan as he began pumping them in and out of you slowly. You felt his cock twitch in his jeans under you. His fingers knuckle deep in your cunt as he trusted them inside you. He curled them up and made sure to pay close attention to your g-spot, pressing on it and massaging it. Your walls clenching up and your toes curling.

"You okay, baby? Logan checked in, but his fingers didn’t slow.

"Y-yes...m'okay keeping going" You stammered out, as you tried to keep focus.

He chuckled and picked up the pace. His fingers were making your pussy create the most vulgar wet sounds you've ever heard. Your slick soaking his hand as he fucked you. Your legs shook and he took his other hand to rub tight circles over your clit. You could feel your orgasm building up. That coil in your lower belly tightening as logan fingered you hard and deep.

"F-fu- logan, I can't hold it." You warned him. Your moans were getting louder and more desperate.

"Aaah! god! I'm gonna-" You mewled while your cunt was being spread open. His long, thick fingers working in and out of you.

That only spurred him on until you were cuming all over his hands. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you hold onto his thighs for dear life.

Logan didn't stop. His fingers still moved in and out of you while his other hand payed attention to your throbbing clit. He milked your pussy as you rode out your release. He finally slowed down and stilled his hands. Carefully, he removed his fingers with a loud shlick. A string of your juices still connecting to them. He brought them up to his lips, sticking them in his mouth.

Logan hummed at the taste of you. "You're so sweet. " You wanted to hide your face. Your eyes glossy from your orgasm.

"Come on, on your knees." He patted your ass gently. You didn't move at first. Your body was too weak, and your mind was still too cloudy think.

He noticed your hesitation and figured out why. He placed his hands on your waist and moved you gently to the floor to sit back on your knees.

"Jus' because I'm not sticking my dick in you tonight doesn't mean I can't get off, too." He grunted and unbuckled his belt.

Logan unzipped his pants and his cock sprung free almost smacking you in the face. The head of his cock leaking precum. You lick your lips and immediately try to taste him. He grabbed your jaw firm but not enough to hurt you.

"Ah ah, and what do you think you're doing?" He smirked, taking his cock in his hand.

"I thought you'd want me to use my mouth." You looked up at him, confusion written all over your face.

"Ya' don't get to blow me either. Ya' get to watch me jerk myself off and cum all over that pretty face of yours." Logan let go of your jaw and stood up straight. His form towering over yours as you kneeled in front of him.

"Oh." You wiped your eyes. You felt rejected yet again, but honestly, you understand why. You were a bitch to him for the past week. It was only fair and definitely part of the punishment.

"If you're good. I might let you ride me tomorrow mornin'." He looked down at you, giving you a small smile. You know him telling you no was just as difficult.

Logans abs flexed as his hand slowly started stroking his cock. His thumb pushing down on his tip, smearing in his precum. He let out a loud hiss and groaned. You watched from your position. You shift in your spot as you feel yourself getting wetter. Logan was taking his time. He was making a show of it – wanting you to see what you're missing. His body glistened with sweat. His mouth parted as he muttered "fuck" under his breath.

His hand moved up and down, pumping himself above you. Your eyes were in awe at how beautiful he was. You watched how his abs flexed and his Adam's apple danced. You wanted to reach out and help him. You wanted to apologize with your mouth full of his cock. He wasn't going to let you do any of that.

"Ahh, goddammit. If you weren't such a brat, I'd have ya' split open right now." He grunted again. "Make ya call me sir with my dick in the back of your throat."

"You still can." You reminded him.

He laughed. "Nice try, but no. Only good girls get my dick. Ya' haven't been good."

You frowned and kept your hands in your lap. Your juices were dripping down your legs and little to the floor. You've never been more frustrated and turned on in your life. You watched logan stroking himself. His eyes half lidded, and his muscles flexed with every movement. His pace quickened and you could tell he was about to cum. He cupped his balls with his other hand, making his knees buckle slighlty. Your clit ached at the sight before you.

"Goddamn," he whispered to himself while his hand moved at a faster pace. "See what ya' do to me? How hard ya' make me?"

You watched in awe as your pussy ached more for him. You were on the verge of pouting but remembered what he told you. "Ya can ride me in the mornin" his words echoed in your ear. That promise was enough to keep you at bay and kneeling down before him like a good girl. His good girl. That's what you wanted to be again.

His chest was rising and falling faster. Logan gave himself a few more long strokes, and he was finishing all over your face. He growled harshly and ropes of cum shot out onto your mouth and chin. He was careful not to get any in your eyes or hair. Logan kept pumping himself, milking every single drop he had left in him. You went to move away, but the hand that was on his balls grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer. Your face just millimeters away from his cock and heavy balls. His hand finally stilled.

All you could hear was the sound of his heavy breathing. You waited until he came down from his high. His release had hit him hard, too, just as yours did. Logan had been pent up with so much frustration over these past couple of weeks because of you. You felt his hand letting go of your neck. You went to rub the sore spot where his fingers dug into your skin. He didn't speak to you yet. He was still trying to catch his breath after his release.

Logan dragged his hand down his face and looked you over once more. He gently took you by the upper arms and put you on your feet. Your legs felt wobbly, and the stinging pain on your ass returned. Logans eyes trailed up and down your body, focusing on your face.

You were a mess, cheeks all tear stained. Your makeup smudged and now his cum dripping down your chin. You were a beautiful sight. One logan wanted to admire forever. If he had his phone; he'd make this moment his lockscreen and jerk off to it when you weren't around.

Your tongue inched out to lick some of the cum off your lips. You loved the way he tasted and hated how he wouldn't let you have more. Logan felt his cock twitching again but chose to ignore it. He let out a shuddered breath and shook his head.

"Ya' alright? Was that too much?" He bent down, grabbing his discarded shirt off the floor. Logan carefully wipe off the mess on your face, starting with his cum.

"Not too much." You shook your head. "I'm fine." You tried to fix up your makeup, but it was really no use.

He leaned down and gave your forehead a sweet kiss.

"We need to get some aloe on your ass. It'll help sooth that burning feelin" Logan moved around the room as you stood in your spot. You wrapped your arms around your middle while you watched him hunt for the aloe and put his jeans back on.

Logan noticed how you were hugging around yourself. He cursed under his breath, fixing himself back in his pants. There was something still lingering in the air. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"C'mere baby." He took your arms from around you and pulled you to him in a warm embrace. You buried your face in his chest, taking in his scent. Logan could sense how you needed his comfort more than some lotion right now.

You two stood in eachothers arms for what felt like hours. He finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"If ya' don't wanna talk about what's been bothering ya' I want pressure. Jus' know I'm all ears once you're ever ready to tell me"

You nodded and closed your eyes, not wanting him to let you go.

"Sometimes I don't know what's wrong." You whispered to him.

"And that's okay." He kissed the top of your head. "Let's take a bath together, and I'll cook ya' dinner."

"Are you gonna finish my bookshelf?" You moved your head away to meet his gentle gaze.

Logan chuckled and playfully swatted your ass. "Yeah, yeah, I'll finish that damn bookshelf."

The rest of your night was spent with you in logans arms after he helped get you all cleaned up. He got our your favorite sweatshirt and made you food. You sat on the couch watching him get frustrated with the instructions to your bookshelf that he had to remind you he could've just made you a better one. Logan did end up finishing it for you and joined you on the couch, pulling you into his lap where you both ended up falling asleep.

[seoulmatez]

— 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑒, 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑒 ౨ৎ

okkotsu yuta x f!reader. 2.9k wc. ﾉ nsfw (mdni) ﾉ characters aged 21+ ﾉ step-brother!yuta ﾉ stepcest ﾉ college au ﾉ jealousy ﾉ possessiveness ﾉ yuta is insecure ﾉ marking (hickies & biting)

this is a continuation of my other stepbro!yuta fic, misplaced lust. that offers some background to this fic but this can also be read as a standalone!

a month has passed since you and yuta shared that fateful night in your living room, since you’ve started seeing him as someone other than your step brother—though, you still haven’t quite settled on what to call him. yuta would insist on “boyfriend” but the word feels heavy and sticky in your mouth, like you can’t really get it out any time you try. you suppose you’re still getting acquainted with the idea of yuta as a lover rather than a brother.

all you can say for sure is that things are different.

your standing as simply siblings is the image you keep up in public, much due to your persistence, though, behind closed doors, it’s a different story. gone are the days when yuta kept his urges buried. he touches you when he pleases—stealing the sweetness of your lips in morning kisses, holding you hostage in midday cuddles, exploring each and every curve of your body as you writhe and pant beneath him at night.

it’s taken some getting used to but you’ve fallen into some sort of strange routine with him. the life you’re living is far from ordinary, though, you’re pleased with it.

tuesdays—you have class on campus and, as much as you’ve told him that it isn’t necessary, yuta practically begged you to let him take on the task of taking you to and from your classes. you’re sure he’s parked in the lot across from your building now, but you’ll have to keep him waiting a while longer so that you can exchange contact information with your new project partner.

“just sent you a text,” the boy tucks his phone away in his pocket, “did you get it?”

as if he willed it himself, your phone dings with a message notification. it’s from an unknown number but you infer that the sweet “hi! :)” is from him. you wave your screen at him with a smile and a nod before quickly saving him to your contacts.

“i’ll text you when i get home, yeah?” you look to your partner, eyebrows raised in question.

“sounds good to me.”

“great.” you offer him a wave before setting off to the crowd of cars in search of yuta’s.

it doesn’t take you long to find it, or him for that matter. he’s standing outside the vehicle at the hood, arms crossed and eyebrows pulled together in confusion. the sight leaves you puzzled yourself as you approach him. he usually meets you with a smile. it’s strange to not see the corners of his lips pulling up.

“hey, what’s wrong?” you question. if you were in the privacy of either of your apartments, you’d reach out to smooth out the crease between his brows.

yuta reaches for you, large hands coming to rest on your hips before he pulls you closer. you frown and shake your head in a silent reminder that people are watching—people who shouldn’t see you in such a position. much to yuta’s dismay, you knock his arms away and take a step back. your action seems to upset him further. “who was that guy?”

you fight the urge to roll your eyes at his question. if you thought his investment in your relationships before you hooked up was concerning, then the tabs he keeps on you now border overbearing. you can’t talk to a guy within his line of sight without being questioned about it afterward.

“he’s just a classmate,” you reassure him with a sigh.

your disinterest in the conversation does nothing to ease yuta’s nerves. a piece of him knows that his jealousy may be unwarranted, but, to be fair, you’ve never gone as far as sharing contact information with another guy—and right in front of him, at that. “a classmate that needs your phone number?”

“yes,” you swear you see his frown deepen with your answer, “but only because we’re working on a project together.”

yuta trusts you, he does, but knowing that you’ll be working closely with a guy he’s unfamiliar with leaves a sour taste in his mouth. he’s well aware of how the minds of men work and who’s to say this one won’t make a move on you?

though, as he looks into the depths of your eyes, yuta reminds himself that it’s you. you wouldn’t let things escalate that far, you wouldn’t betray his trust—right? 

large hands come up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing over each of your cheekbones. midnight eyes bore into yours as he asks, “you promise?”

your heart jumps in your chest—at the feel of his rough palms on your face or the unexpected question, you’re not sure. the intensity behind his lidded gaze almost makes you forget where you are, that he’s not supposed to be touching you like this here, where anyone can see. you take hold of his wrists, pulling his hands down from your face, opting to hold them between your bodies to keep them hidden.

“i promise,” you tell him, voice low so that only the two of you can hear.

the warmth of your hands and the softness of your voice relieve all the tension that’s built up in yuta since he was met with that unsavory sight. he squeezes your hand, lips pulling up into a soft smile. 

he knew he could trust you.

life with yuta is as normal as it can be outside of your interactions with your poor classmate. the boy really hasn’t done anything wrong but he still unknowingly bears the brunt of yuta’s irritation and resentment. a simple text from him informing you that he added content to the document and would appreciate you looking it over earns a grimace from yuta if you take too long replying to him.

so, you suppose you shouldn’t be surprised when your phone vibrates with a notification—no, two notifications from yuta during your library meeting with your acquaintance. you hope it’s not rude to shift your attention to your phone for a moment. two messages one after the next implies urgency.

> where are you?

> you said you’d be back by 6

so much for urgent. you click the button on the side of the device to put your screen to sleep, not bothering to reply. you’re sure you’ll be wrapping things up here soon and the process will go even quicker if you don’t break to text him back. you make a mental reminder to respond to him as soon as you’re done, flipping the phone so the screen is facing down on the table.

you’re barely able to get another paragraph typed out before your phone is buzzing again, not with a notification but with a phone call. despite not being able to see the caller display, you have an idea of who it is.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize to the man across from you, grabbing your phone off the table. “you don’t mind if i take this, do you? i’ll make it quick.”

he waves his hands in a show of nonchalance. “no, no, go ahead.”

you offer him an apologetic smile before stepping out of the room you two reserved to dedicate some time to your project. when you hear the click of the door announce that it’s closed, you press the accept button on the call.

“hello?”

“where are you?” there’s mild panic laced in his voice as he continues. “you didn’t reply to my texts.”

you should have seen this coming. he isn’t always like this—so obsessive over your whereabouts, but you think you have an inkling of what’s got him so on edge and he’s sitting in the room you just left. “yuta, i’m still at the library. we’re almost done.”

hearing your voice is like an anchor for yuta, keeping him grounded from his unwelcome, wandering thoughts. he tried not to worry when the clock hit six and you weren’t walking through the door, briefly thinking that you got caught in traffic or some other minor inconvenience that kept you a few minutes. 

though, as more time passed, the hypotheticals turned to something less innocent—ones that centered around you and him and the sorts of things you could get up to in a room with just the two of you. it made yuta’s head and heart hurt in a way he’s never experienced before but the pain is beginning to subside now that he’s heard from you.

he’s tempted to ask about what’s keeping you but for his own sanity, he buries the question, choosing instead to tell you, “i was just checking in.”

“everything’s fine.” you nod despite him not being able to see. 

you hate when he gets like this, stressing himself out over nothing, letting nonexistent things eat away at his mind. but, in the same breath, you love being the one to bring him back to earth, the one he finds solace in. maybe that’s why your voice softens with your next words. “i’ll be home soon.”

there’s a shaky sigh of relief on the other line, one you’re almost sure wasn’t meant to be audible.

“good.”

the final straw comes a couple of weeks later when yuta’s outside your door, fishing around his pocket for the key you’d given him when you moved in. though, before he’s able to find it, the door swings open.

he expects to be met with the sight of you in your loungewear—shorts that ride up your thighs and a shirt that leaves a sliver of skin on your tummy exposed—but the person standing before him is the last person he wants to see, especially in your foyer.

it’s your project partner.

yuta’s eyebrow twitches as he looks at the man, silently wondering just what the hell he’s doing inside your apartment. he’s got a comfortable grin on his face that slowly falls as he turns away from you to find yuta standing in the hall. there’s confusion written over his features and if yuta wasn’t so annoyed, he’d laugh—he’s the one who should be confused.

“hey, man,” your classmate greets yuta cautiously before turning to you. “you know this guy?”

the question seems to be enough for you to finally recognize yuta’s presence. you don’t smile and hug him like you usually do when he shows up at your place. no, instead, your eyes widen like he’s the unwelcome one.

yuta’s skin warms with his boiling blood as his dark gaze flits over to meet that of your guest. “i’m her b-“

“brother!” you cut him off. with the look in his eyes, you couldn’t be sure he wasn’t going to say another word that started with the same letter. “he’s my step brother.”

“oh,” the man nods, “nice to meet you.”

yuta musters up as friendly of a smile as he can. if you didn’t know him as well as you do, it would have simply looked like he was caught off guard meeting a new face. and while that’s partially true, you can tell that the smile is forced—that his teeth are really clenched behind his lips and that the sentiment is not shared.

your classmate turns back to you, not taking notice—or, at least, choosing not to acknowledge—the thick awkwardness in the air. “well, i’m heading out. see you in class.”

you give him a wave as he slips out the door past yuta, whose sole attention is now on you.

it doesn’t take a genius to tell what’s on his mind.

“yuta…” your voice usually has a calming effect on the man but it doesn’t seem to work this time around as he slips into your apartment, fingers running through the messy strands of inky hair.

“what was he doing here?” there’s an edge to his tone as the question fills the air—one that’s a mixture of anxiety and possessiveness, something different than what you’ve heard over the past few weeks.

you close the door before facing yuta. the darkness in his eyes from earlier lingers but the anger has dissipated, replaced by uncertainty. the latter is just as chilling. 

something tells you that your explanation, no matter how truthful, won’t get through to him—not when he’s so worked up. still, you try to make it clear that nothing was going on between the two of you. you reach out to take his hand in yours so that he stops tugging at his hair. “we were going over our presentation, that’s all.”

the stare he meets you with is heavy, almost intimidating. “you had to bring him home to do that?”

“i didn’t feel like driving to campus so i had him meet me here.” you can see yuta’s jaw clench at your justification. you drop his hand in favor of placing yours on his face. his skin is warm beneath your hands and your fingers graze over the curves of his cheekbones and jaw. he softens under your touch, though the insecurity sticks to his expression. you hope your next words are reassuring. “but nothing happened—i swear.”

there’s an honest glint sparkling in your eyes and a softness to your gaze that convinces yuta that you wouldn’t lie to him—not about this, not about anything. with a deep breath, yuta’s hands come to rest on either side of your waist and he nods—more to himself than anything.

he dips his head down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. it’s eager and greedy, like if he doesn’t do it now, he won’t ever be able to. his tongue runs over your lips, swirls in a dance with yours as he breathes in your air and scent. it’s dizzying and your head is spinning even when he pulls away.

his nips at your lip, nose pressed against yours. “you’re mine, right?”

you nod, parted lips glistening with yuta’s spit. 

“then show me.”

the journey to your room is clumsy, kisses interrupted by clothes being strewn about the hallway. though, when you do finally make it to your bedroom, your back meeting the mattress, yuta wastes no time letting his lips roam all over your body. he sucks and nips at your delicate skin, leaving dark marks of his love on your neck, your collarbone, your chest.

the simple sensation draws a melody of moans from you that reaches yuta’s ears, swelling his heart and his cock. he groans—the erection between his legs is almost painful and he finds relief in grinding the head up and down your folds, letting it bump against your clit. the contact elicits a sharp gasp from you and the sound only feeds yuta’s arousal.

he can’t hold himself back any longer.

sinking into you feels like the closest yuta will ever get to paradise. he fights his eyes from rolling back, stops himself from drooling, as he bottoms out in a practiced motion. he usually gives you a moment to adjust around him but he’s far too worked up to allow you the courtesy this time around, almost immediately setting a tempo with his thrusts.

the sound of skin slapping skin as his hips snap into you accompanied by the squelching of your wetness fills the still, thick air of your bedroom. yuta’s choked groans join them and he lets his head fall to rest at the crook of your neck. 

his tongue pokes out to lick at your skin, lips latching on to leave yet another purpling spot behind—a sign of his love, a sign that you're his. 

the thought causes yuta to bite down on the side of your neck, not hard enough to break the skin but enough to leave an indent of his teeth. he raises his head to meet your eye, labored breaths tickling your face as he hovers above you. he swallows before pressing his forehead to yours, hips still bucking into you.

“you’re mine,” he breathes out, nails digging into the sheets on either side of you.

you can’t tell whether it’s a question or a statement but you nod the best you can regardless of which it is.

his dark eyes bore into yours, a mixture of passion and possessiveness swimming in his gaze. “say it.”

it takes a moment for you to find your voice and even when you do, your declaration cracks. “i’m yours, yuta.”

“that’s right,” he dips his head down to kiss you, smiling against your lips before pulling away, “all mine.”

yuta’s hand finds its way between your bodies and to your clit, rubbing circles against the sensitive bud and drawing heavenly whimpers from you. he starts to lose the rhythmic pace he set as his climax creeps upon him, each thrust growing more and more erratic. a fire sparks to life in your abdomen with the added sensation and you can feel the heat seeping beneath your skin, penetrating your nerves. every part of you is on fire.

the stimulation is soon too much for you, pushing you over the edge and into the deep end of pleasure. the sharp breath you suck in is followed by shaky moans as you ride out your orgasm. with all the pretty noises you’re making and the way your cunt flutters around him, yuta follows not far behind you.

he pulls out before his seed can spill inside you, the warm white ropes of cum spurting on your belly instead. his own moans mingle with yours as he comes down from his high, chest rising and falling with each of his heavy breaths. 

his eyes flit up to yours, hand reaching out to caress the side of your face. you lean into his touch instinctively which makes his lips curl up in a smile. you wouldn’t do this for anyone else, would you?

you really are his.

thanks you for reading! if you enjoyed, please reblog or leave a comment! ᡣ𐭩

[fayes-fics]

Lessons in Breeding

Lessons Masterpost PREV | NEXT

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader (threesome)

Summary: Fifth story in the Regency Lessons series and it's time-jump time. Things have progressed with our throuple and the Bridgerton Bros are in a race to impregnate their lady…

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, MMF threesome, BREEDING KINK off the bloody charts, pregnancy kink, dirty talk, oral sex (m to f), light bondage, filthy baby-making vaginal sex, dom/sub dynamics. Emotions, talk of marriages, established throuple dynamics.

Word Count: 5.4k

Authors Note: This is set in Lessons universe, but at least a year after the previous instalment. If pregnancy or babymaking isn't your thing, please don't read this. This is a very belated birthday request fill for @iboopedyournose. I hope you like the way I've interpreted your request for breeding kink threesome with bondage. Thanks to @colettebronte and @chaoticcalzoneranchsports for betaing. Enjoy! <3

You pause in front of the portrait of a naked pregnant woman, taking a sip of your champagne. The intimate parts of her are mostly obscured behind translucent silks. Her pregnant belly is bare as she cradles it proudly, her skin glowing; everything about her looks almost ethereal yet so earthy and powerful. It is such a provocative piece you can understand why it is only being shown at private parties such as this one, hosted by Mr Granville.

“Like what you see?” the dusky voice suddenly at your right ear asks.

You inhale sharply, instantly responding to the mere sound of his voice, something very Pavlovian in it. “Yes, I think she looks beautiful,” you reply quietly, tamping down your need to throw yourself into him, begging for his fingers in your mouth.

“She does indeed,” he is standing so close behind you can feel the heat radiating off him through his shirt. “Would you like to look like that? Swollen so beautifully with a baby?”

It's not something you have thought about much beyond the abstract idea that you wish for children someday. But then, so many things in your life are about to change, and this could be one.

“Maybe,” you deflect.

Large hands encircle your waist. “Mmm, just imagine,” he begins, his chest pressing warm on your spine. “How beautiful you would look, your belly all rounded,” his hands slide up and cup your chest as you moan lightly. “Your breasts so full, and oh gosh,” one hand slides down to the apex of your thighs, cradling it through your dress, “the smell and taste of you, so ripe, so juicy. You would be divine,” he assures.

“Stop,” you scold gently, but it's too breathy, the carnal images he so easily paints with his words haunting you as you rock in his arms.

“Would you like me to impregnate you, my darling?” he murmurs, his teeth pulling at your earlobe. “I could fuck you so hard and deep and leave my seed inside you. Over and over. And you know my brother would do the same in a heartbeat.”

Your breath quickens at the thought. They have always been careful to ensure they do not release inside you; it's a strict pact you have in place that they have always respected and obeyed. But perhaps that may change with what is impending.

“My husband-to-be, you mean,” your eyes cut sideways, and he stiffens.

“Yes, of course, I sometimes forget you are soon to be the Viscountess,” he bows his head, a flare of something in his eyes you know is jealousy.

“Benedict…” you sigh, sensing he needs reassurance; you pull him into a quiet alcove. “You know this is the only way the three of us can be together, for always. I love you just as much,” you vow quietly, touching his cheek. “But you know well I cannot marry you both, at least not in the eyes of the law. There would be many questions if Anthony were to remain unwed much longer. You know it is much easier for you to live with us as an apparent bachelor at Aubrey Hall than any other arrangement.”

All the facts you lay out, well known to you both, don’t stop the imploring look he gives you. 

“I will marry you symbolically in a ceremony in the woods, down by the lake,” you whisper, appealing to his bohemian romantic side. “I will wear your ring proudly, too,” you promise. “I am as much yours as I am his. And always will be. I cannot be without either of you.”

He beams and crowds into you, sliding his lips down your neck.

“And yes, I will bear your children, my love,” you sigh as his actions make you pliant in his hands, as they always do. You grab his face to ensure he meets your gaze, his eyes dancing. “Nothing would make me prouder than bearing both of your babies, so yes, my love, the answer is yes.”

You moan gently as he kisses fire across your skin, and your eyes drift back to the painting, the idea of being fertile, ripe, burgeoning with life somehow suddenly so alluring. 

——

“Anthony…” you call, but he does not respond; he probably cannot hear you above the whirlwind of activity around him. “ANTHONY!” you repeat, raising your voice, and suddenly, the hubbub of movement and noise in the room ceases.

His eyes meet yours and flash. “Everyone leave the room at once,” he orders to the hordes of people doing god knows what, “my fiancee wishes to speak with me.”

You watch as all the people scurry from the room as if burned.

“There was no need to send them away quite so abruptly, my love,” you state gently.

“Is this not an occasion where you wish me to throw you upon my desk and rut you so hard you scream?” he flirts outrageously.

“For once,” you respond airily, “it is not.”

“Tis a pity,” he smirks, then perches against the desk, crossing his legs and arms. “Then what can I do for you, my love?”

“I want you to make me with child,” you just go straight to the point. He usually appreciates bluntness.

He drops the heavy accounts ledger he is holding, and it slams to the ground with an echoing thump.

“Correction, I want you AND Benedict to make me with child,” you amend.

“What on earth brought this on?” his tone warm but intrigued, ignoring the ledger completely.

“That art party we went to last night?” you offer casually. “There was a scandalous but beautiful portrait of a pregnant naked woman.”

“Did he fuck you in front of it and give you some ideas?” Anthony sighs with fond exasperation.

“No,” you giggle, “for once, he did not.”

“But Tuesday is your night alone together?” Anthony frowns. “Don’t tell me he shirked his duty? I am his older brother. I can have words….”

“Oh, he more than performed his duty, just not in front of the painting,” you clarify.

“In front of one of his paintings, then?” Anthony guesses.

And you giggle again. “Carriage, on the way home.”

“Figures,” Anthony rolls his eyes, “does he ever do it in a bed?”

“Not if he can help it,” you wink, and he laughs.

Then schools his face more serious. “So you want a baby?”

“I want both of your babies. I’d certainly be open to us all getting some good practice in tomorrow,” you shrug playfully.

“I have absolutely no problem with that,” his voice drops low as he raises a sultry eyebrow. “And the desk offer still stands if you want a warm-up?” he concludes, breaking into a handsome smirk.

“It’s Wednesday, our rest day; I have dinner plans with my dear friend Lady Eleanor,” you shake your head fondly. “Plus, I cannot give you a head start, darling; that wouldn’t be fair to Benedict,” you tease. “You can sort it out between yourselves for tomorrow.”

“Why do we have a rest day?” he pouts.

“You know full well, with three people, it is much easier to schedule around six days. I can go one day without either of you, you know,” rolling your eyes lovingly.

“Such a pity,” he sighs in mock annoyance.

“It is just for today, darling, and tomorrow you may complete inside me, so there’s that to look forward to…” and you breeze out of the room, blowing him a kiss.

——

Thursday night is one of your two nights a week with both of your wonderful men. 

You spend the early evening bathing in luxury soaps with your favourite scents, readying yourself for a night of untold pleasures. Sometimes you all meet in the bedroom, sometimes in the blue room, and other times, like tonight, you agree to al fresco. You cannot wait to play by the lake under the mid-summer moonlight.

You slip on an ivory silk robe and nothing else except the lariat body chains they each gave you. Dainty gold chains with their initials that wrap around your waist, the A and B matching charms hanging low over your belly, grazing your thatch of hair below—a secret you wear every day unseen beneath your usual clothing.

It’s a balmy evening as you approach the water's edge. There is already a soft blanket laid out and a decanter of brandy with three glasses—Anthony has ensured the staff have prepared for the evening. But neither man is to be seen yet. You settle on the blanket and pour yourself a snifter, enjoying the gentle roar of oil lantern flames dancing in the breeze set out on surrounding stakes.

This evening will be a first, letting them both leave their seed within you. Even though you have been together as a threesome for more than a year and done countless wonderful sensual things together, this is a huge step towards something new. You don’t expect to get pregnant on this first attempt, but the idea is beguiling nonetheless.

You pull open your robe and massage your as-yet-empty belly. Running your hands in swirls, imagining what it might be like to watch it grow and swell with a child—the ability to bring life into the world something so elemental and heavenly all at once. To sustain life through the wonder of your body swirls in your mind as you untie your robe and grab your breasts. 

“I see someone started the party already, brother,” a familiar silky voice rings out, and your eyes pop open to see both of them standing there, watching you lasciviously. They are shirtless and only wear britches slung low around their hips, acres of lithe muscle and supple skin.

“Is that not our job, darling?” Anthony chimes in after his brother, already unbuttoning.

“Not that we aren’t enjoying the show,” Benedict adds pointedly, nudging Anthony as if to shut him up, and follows suit, removing his trousers.

When they both let their britches fall to the ground, you moan, seeing them both in all their resplendent naked glory, already half hard and looking so utterly delicious part of you wants to get on your knees and take them into your mouths. You go to crawl towards them, but Antony holds up a halting hand. 

“Stay right where you are, lay back; tonight is about your pleasure, darling,” he practically purrs. 

Your eyes flash with desire, and you do as told, removing your robe and laying back again, fully nude, running fingertips down the centre line of your torso, fingers playing with their jewelled charms that rest atop your lower belly.

“Then get down here,” you exhale, knowing their gaze is locked on your fingers as you slip them between your thighs.

They drop onto the blanket with you, the light breeze ruffling their chestnut locks. Both are so achingly beautiful with those strong Bridgerton genes. You can’t wait to bear a baby, babies, that look just like them.

They exchange a glance, and it’s their shorthand again—where they silently communicate how they will destroy you masterfully moment by moment. Benedict surges up and captures your lips in a passionate all-consuming kiss as Anthony slips between your legs, pulling your hand away and throwing your feet over his shoulders. Forcing your legs out wide, he laps a determined, deep plough of tongue all the way from the base of your slit up to your pulsing clit. It has you calling loudly into his brother's mouth.

“You taste fertile, my darling wife-to-be,” Anthony groans lewdly and pointedly, and you can’t help but giggle across Benedict’s lips. 

“I am certain he is right,” Benedict smiles affectionately, swallowing your noises. “I swear I can smell the difference when you are ripe for us. Your scent is just a little headier, muskier; it makes my cock even harder than normal,” he ponders, kissing across your face as he utters his trademark filth. He knows just a few choice words can have you ready for him—every single damn time. 

Anthony’s hand strays up to play with your belly charms as his tongue unfurls its magic. It doesn’t matter that you are with these two men, individually and together, multiple times a week; they never fail to arouse you to the point of aching with just a few expertly deployed moves. Their tongues, whether talking dirty or teasing your body, are your favourite part of them. Benedict shuffles lower and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth. Oh god, yes, it’s definitely their tongues. 

“Darling, are we playing tonight, or are we just us?” Benedict asks, looking up from your chest with gentle eyes. Sometimes you like to play with your power dynamic and use your titles, other times since you have grown closer, you are just yourselves, no masks, no games, just you, Ant and Ben, your affectionate shortened names for them.

You stop Anthony’s ministrations between your legs with a tap on his shoulder, wanting his full attention on this question that Benedict poses.

“What would you prefer, my loves?” You ask them, ruffling Benedict's hair, enjoying the feel of its thickness running between your fingers and squeezing Anthony’s shoulder lovingly.

“I want to be Ben, just your husband-to-be,” Benedict says quietly, and you can’t help the little smile that breaks out. “This is where we will get married,” he asserts, looking around, “under the stars, just like this.”

“Yes, my darling,” you confirm happily, “I want that.”

“How about you, Ant, my love? Would you like to be you, or perhaps my lord or my beautiful boy?” you inquire.

“I want to be Ant, your fiancé,” he nods in agreement with Benedict’s idea. “Tonight, my darling wife-to-be, the only lesson is how to breed you like the wondrous Bridgerton you are about to become.”

“Breed me?” You inhale, wanting to be insulted by the term but finding it makes your clit burn hot.

“Oh yes,” Benedict chimes in, “we are going to breed you, darling. You will sire a whole house of Bridgertons. You will never be without our seed—it will be dripping from you every day.”

“Ben,” you stutter, grabbing his bicep as your whole cunt is suddenly slick and pulsing at his crude language. “Tell me more.” 

His responding grin is predatory as Anthony chuckles and slinks back between your legs.

“Do you know how many bedrooms there are in Aubrey Hall?” Benedict’s voice is a gentle tease as his nose runs teasing patterns over the swell of your breast.

“I don’t,” you admit, honestly.

“Twenty-four,” Anthony answers for you from between your thighs as he sucks a line down from your inner knee.

“Even with all of our siblings and their future children visiting, that still leaves at least, hmm, twelve bedrooms just going to waste. Until we fill them with our little brood.” 

“Benedict, I am not birthing twelve children,” you gasp, half in shock at the very thought, half because Anthony’s tongue curls rough around your clit. 

“Maybe not,” he admits, kissing across to your other breast, “but I think we should at least try….”

“Six each, brother?” Anthony chuckles, joining in,  lifting his head and resting his chin on your pubic hair, shooting a killer smile.

“Get back there. Have you not heard that female pleasure aids conception?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow.

“Then we will have to make you come at least twice tonight; ‘tis the most prudent path to double our chances,” Anthony retorts with a wink sinking down with a devilish look on his face before his tongue makes you cry out, and Benedict's teeth graze over your nipple, making you cant up into his mouth.

“You’ll have to carry me all the way back to the house if I have many more than that, remember,” you warn, bemused.

“Darling, I would carry you to the ends of the earth and back,” Benedict pledges, the romantic poetry just pouring from him as he surges up and kisses your lips, plundering your mouth with his tongue. “You have bewitched me. Since that very first day in my brother's study, I have been yours.”

Benedict is always more emotional and partial to declarations of love than his brother, whose feelings run just as deep but does not effuse about it so openly—preferring to express his adoration privately and through beautiful, thoughtful gifts.

“Save it for your individual days, brother,” Anthony hums drolly over your flesh. “We have a very special job to do tonight.”

“Indeed we do,” Benedict concurs, picking up one of your hands and entwining your fingers with his.

Then their efforts become more focussed as Anthony sucks your engorged nub deep into his mouth, moans vibrating your sensitive bud as Benedict bites your nipple in just that way you like—an insistent suckling hold that pulls your skin taunt and is a line right down to your throbbing clit being so utterly wrecked by Anthony.

It always stuns you how quickly these two, working in tandem, can rocket you so high, so dizzyingly fast. You are vaguely aware your hands are in both of their hair as you climb so high. Eyes screwed shut as they both mouth filthy encouragements into your skin.

“Come on, darling,” Anthony pleads, “I want to feel you drench my face.”

“Do not stop,” you chant repeatedly, twisting luscious strands of chestnut locks around your fingers.

Benedict’s lips are hot on your ear, biting the lobe as he senses you are so close. “Break for him,” he breathes, “come on, my love, give him that sweet nectar to drink.” 

The filthy poet never fails to give you that extra nudge, and sure enough, with a staccato of breaths, they have to hold you down as you fight to buck against the convulsions deep inside.

Anthony growls at you to stay still, even though you know he loves it when you writhe over his face, his jaw clamped hard between your spasming thighs.

“Does that feel so good?” Benedict’s silky voice vibrates your ear.

“Yes, oh god, I need one of you inside me, please,” you twist to look into his face as beseeching as you can, still flushed and mindless from your orgasm. “But please tie my hands first,” you stutter breathlessly, offering your wrists up to him, pressed together. “Above my head.”

“I thought we were not playing tonight?” Anthony says quietly as he lands on the blanket beside you, his face shining with your juices.

“Please, just, please,” you beg, turning to him, “I need it. Use your chains.”

As they flank your body, both of them make a low noise at the idea of binding your hands with your golden chains that bear their initials. 

Benedict’s large hand slides down your dewy torso and into your thatch of hair. Then slowly, while you pant lightly and keep your eyes locked on Anthony’s intense stare, Benefict unhooks one chain and tugs it gently from around the dip of your waist.

“Your turn,” he says quietly to Anthony, and you realise they are removing their own chains. Somehow that choice makes you burn even hotter for them, squirming slightly. 

Anthony’s hand follows the same path as you breath heavy and hold Benedict’s gaze this time as Anthony unhooks the chain with the A charm and drags it up along your skin, a corner of the letter scraping gently over your flesh, catching your nipple as you gasp.

Then they take an arm each, raising them above your head. Both then bind your wrists as your gaze flits between them, watching their handsome faces.

“Thank you,” your murmur reverential, testing the hold and feeling the precious metal bite into your flesh as they both dive in for a heated kiss, Anthony reaching you first and Benedict settling on your neck until they can swap positions. It’s a deep kiss that is musky and sweet with the taste and scent of your climax.

“Who gets the privilege of being first, my love?” Benedict asks silkily.

“You do, Ben,” you whisper, and his whole face lights up. So often used to being second.

You turn to Anthony as Benedict shifts to lay between your legs. “Thank you, my darling Ant, for my wonderful orgasm,” you compliment and watch as his face turns boyish with pride.

You cry out as Benedict spears into you, splitting your open, causing the gentle ripples of your orgasm to flare again, and he drops his head onto your breastbone.

“Christ, there is nothing like your little fluttering cunt is there?” he groans into your flesh.

“Give it to me, Ben,” you twist from kissing Anthony to declare. Then turn back, desperate for more hot kisses.

His tip feels somehow harsher than normal, a hot spike as he begins to move, your walls clinging to him almost vice-like. It feels so good your eyes roll, and your mouth goes slack against Anthony’s. 

He brushes a gentle hand through your hair, watching you through hooded eyes, gently murmuring praise and compliments as you take Benedict's hard thrusts.

“We will plant our seeds, darling, deep in here,” Anthony breathes, a hand sliding down to your belly just above where Benedict’s body meets yours as he surges into you. “Do you want that?”

“Yess,” you hiss, mesmerised, fingers twirling in your own hair, “please.”

“Oh, our perfect little broodmare,” Anthony exhales shakily, surging his leaking cock against the hip he holds open for his little brother, who now curls down over you, biting a nipple. “Do you know how proud we will be? Making your beautiful body swell, your breasts growing so large and sensitive, your belly growing round. With our baby. A little Bridgerton. Or maybe more. We want to plant you with two babies right now, one for me and one for my little brother. Can you do that, darling, for us? Take our seed so good?”

“Yes, Anthony,” you pant, utterly enthralled by his filthy talk. That is usually the expertise of the man now biting your nipples and growling as he fucks you so harshly that your body jerks on the cotton blanket you lay on.

“Let him,” Anthony continues with slightly gritted teeth, “let him fuck you harder than he ever has before.”

“Yes, my lord,” you answer, under his spell, and his nostrils flare as you use the title you call him in play.

He curses, then grabs one of your chain-bound wrists above your head, fingers sliding possessively between yours and forcing the back of your hand down onto the ground. 

“Yes, that's it, do as you are told, little one,” he growls through clenched teeth. 

And you feel a frisson of something frantic, like you all need something with a little edge. A gust of breeze flutters over your skin and leaves quiver on the trees around you. 

“Fuck her harder, brother,” Anthony orders into your clavicle, and you feel it buzz into your bones.

Benedict growls in response and hooks the leg, not being held by Anthony over his flexed forearm. Pulling you open more, feeling so vulnerable, your hands bound, your legs held obscenely wide open by each. 

Suddenly the moment feels charged as Benedict snaps his hips so forcefully that you whimper on every stroke, revelling in the sweat splashing from his damp forehead curls onto your breasts. Anthony is sucking on your neck with almost painful intensity as Benedict drops down and bites your flesh over your tricep, making you writhe and call his name. The gold chains binding your wrists dig into your flesh as you move, bringing an edge that just pushes you higher.

You encourage him, calling him sir, begging for more, squeezing his cock with your pelvic muscles as he pounds into you mercilessly. And that constriction is the catalyst he needs. He curses long and low, feeling huge as he spears so deep he nudges your hilt, and you sense a change in him that usually signals his withdrawal. This time his eyes fly open, pupils blown, and expression wild as he grabs your jaw firmly.

“Are you ready?” He barks possessively. 

“Yes,” you hiss, realising he is going to climax without waiting for you.

His last few hot desperate thrusts are so harsh your whole insides feel rearranged. Then he stills, and for the first time, you hear that guttural groan right into your ear as he begins to spill inside you, a hot wave that blooms deep inside, feeling like so much more than he has ever come before. It’s a new sensation and feels just wonderful.

“Yes, take it all, my darling girl,” he shudders, and that gravelly tone pulls you over a small edge, you clamping down on his spurting cock as he groans and spasms into you some more, hipbones digging into your inner thighs. His weight is almost crushing as he becomes motionless, your thighs burning from the stretch.

“That’s it,” Anthony whispers against your temple, “lay still and open, darling, let his seed into your womb.” 

Those words echo drowsily in your head as you feel Benedict’s cock gradually soften inside you, and he slips out slowly with a slick tide of juices that run down over your bottom cheeks.

“Fucking babies into you is my new favourite thing. Do you have any idea how exquisite it is to come inside you? Fill you up? I never want to come anywhere else ever again.” Benedict gusts as he falls to one side of you, still breathing heavily, and you realise it's a novel experience for him too. “God, I love you,” he admits shakily, landing a kiss on your cheek.

“I love you too. Thank you for my baby Benedict,” you nuzzle his face and kiss him sweetly as his body relaxes, utterly spent.

You twist to look at Anthony, and his eyes sparkle as he climbs between your legs, his cock hard, glistening, and leaking in his fist. “Are you ready?” 

“Yes, my lord,” you answer.

He thrusts into your soaking cunt, still leaking profusely from Benedict. He feels even larger and harsher somehow too, and on reflex, you clench around the invasion, feeling the verdant earth beneath your bottom and shoulder blades softened slightly by the blanket.

“My darling girl,” his voice ragged, broken. “You are so exquisitely puffy and swollen. That was quite the mounting you got, wasn’t it? Are you ready for more?”

You croak your assent, and then he begins to move. He isn’t slow. In fact, he starts pounding so hard you gasp, the sensation almost too much, and Benedict's hand slides into your hair, over your bound hands, and you clutch it as he rolls closer, nuzzling your face.

“Feel it all, my darling girl,” Benedict rumbles.

“I am, sir,” you nod and bite your lip. “I can even feel your seed inside me still,” you add with a moan, the chains on your wrist abraiding your skin, leaving marks.

“Good,” he gusts drowsily and warmly in your ear, a hand swirling patterns on your hip. “Let it in, darling, all the way in.”

As a cloud clears the moon, the atmosphere feels softer again, the frantic moment of before ebbing into something more profound; even as Anthony takes you hard, it’s more in an undulating wave, hitting your hilt with a rhythm that feels hypnotic, your cunt clinging to him like a glove, as Benedict's sonorous voice is back at your ear.

“That’s right, get ready, darling girl. We need you to keep this line going. In your belly, you will grow the next viscount. You will bare the heirs of this family. Just you, my wonderful wife-to-be.”

“I want all of your babies too, Benedict,” you breathe as Anthony ploughs on. “I want to give the world more like you. Talented creative, empathetic, loving souls who bring joy to every room.”

His eyes mist over as you declare your truth. “I love you so much it hurts,” he murmurs into your cheek, voice thick with emotion.

“I love you too,” you want to grab his face but can’t; instead, you seal your pact with a sweet, almost chaste kiss filled with affection; even as Anthony takes you towards a big blissful moment, you hope you will hit together.

“Now declare your love to him too,” Benedict orders softly, “you know he needs to hear it, maybe even more than me.”

You nod and turn all of your attention and heart to the Viscount. Still holding Benedict’s hand tangled in your hair, not wanting either to feel left out on this momentous night.

“Viscount Anthony Bridgerton,” you use his title and full name, your pleading tone making his eyes bore into yours. “I love you so much, my lord, my husband,” you state categorically.

He groans and falls over your body, covering you, his scent and heat all-encompassing.

“Darling darling wife, my Viscountess,” he exhales over your lips, his thrusts turning slow and languid, his hands grasping your thighs and pulling your legs up and out, utterly under his command, pinned. “I love you so much,” he sounds almost choked with emotion, and part of you wishes you had your hands to hold him to you.

“Do you want to be freed, my love?” Benedict asks softly, always seemingly able to intuit your needs before you even articulate them.

“Please,” you request, turning to give him a grateful peck as he reaches up and loosens both chains, leaving one delicately but loosely wrapped around each forearm, your wrists pulsing mildly as they are freed.

Instantly you move your arms, wrapping one around Anthony’s back, your nails and the gold chain scraping down his skin as your other hand rounds Benedict's shoulder and into his hair, stroking and petting.

Your hand sliding down, mapping his contours, over the swell of his muscular bottom makes Anthony groan and bite your neck, spearing deep into you as your nails dig in, tilting your pelvis and rocking him deeper into you until you feel that ache so far inside. 

Then he pushes up onto his hands and thrusts hard, setting a punishing pace. Every fibre of your being wants this, ratcheting high and fast as each stroke crushes your clit into your frame. Unable to form words except to curse and babble mindlessly. You feel your whole body tense, a release so imminent you grit your teeth and chase it hard.

“That’s it darling, come for me, milk me,” Antony commands, flicking a thumb over your clit, and you are gone.

Yelling and screaming as his cock is the solid mass you convulse around, your entire being spasming, and you feel Benedict’s firm grip, holding you down with a knee and large hands. Making you orgasm hard, entirely still, unable to writhe, all the sensation concentrated on where Anthony’s cock spears you open.

As the blood rushes in your ears, his teeth are biting on the cord of your neck, and with a few pumps, he releases with a throaty whine, pushing the deepest he has ever been, feeling like he piercing through your hilt.

He curses long, low guttural and again there is that bloom of viscous heat inside as he spills all his seed.

“Yes, my darling girl,” he slurs, “stay down, take it all,”

You cry out, and your instinct is to move, but both of them hold you down, so your fingers dig into flesh, and your toes curl as your body is thwarted from its shakes and shudders. Anthony’s weight is upon you as he recovers his breath, feeling even heavier than Benedict as he slumps,, panting into your neck.

“I understand what you mean now, brother,” his tone almost wonderous. “I do not wish to leave my seed anywhere else either, dear god; that was exquisite.” Delicately he pulls backwards so his softening cock slips out of your body, and you groan at the sensation, flopping your head blissfully on the blanket as he falls to your other side. 

The gentle sounds of nocturnal nature around you fill your ears as it is just your joint breathing, soothing hands running over you, soft kisses and little intimate moments where you whisper to both of your boys.

“We may have made a baby tonight, my darling husbands,” you murmur.

The look they both give you is brimming with love and appreciation as you curl into both, taking a hand from each of them and placing them over your heart as you drift to sleep, cocooned in their safe embrace.

Your boys. Forever, your boys.

Anthony & Benedict taglists: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @debheart @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @amanda08319 @panhoeofmanyfandoms

[yunjardi]

my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]

[young sugar daddy!jake × fem!reader]

--------------------------------------------------------

[click here for this series' masterlist to read previous chapters, general warnings, and playlist]

[!!chapter warnings!!: smut [mdni], DADDY KINK, unprotected sex, fingering, handjob, oral, gentle sex, cockwarming, angst, crying, arguing, minor possessiveness (???), mentions of negative body image near the end, some fluff, lmk if i missed anything!]

*sorry for any grammar errors

--------------------------------------------------------

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

chapter 16: the ugly truth?

"y/n, please, i really do love you," jake begged you breathlessly, "you're seriously such a big part of my life. what would i ever do without a friend like you?"

a friend.

a friend.

friends.

that's what you and jake are, huh?

the bubbly and shocked feeling that took over your body after hearing jake tell you that he loves you quickly fizzled away once jake uttered that 6 letter word.

that stupid 6 letter word.

how were you even supposed to react to this?

well, you reacted the only way your body would let you.

with anger.

"jake, i need you to do something for me, okay?" jake nodded as you took a deep breath inward before continuing, "once you walk out that door, never come back again. don't bother contacting me either because i don't wanna hear it. friends don't do what we do. you led me on, you asshole. now get out."

"y/n, i meant- i-"

"i said i don't wanna hear it!" you raised your voice, helpless tears falling again, "i-i think it's best if you leave now." your voice softened as tears uncontrollably rolled down your face, causing jake to cry too.

"i'm not going anywhere, y/n," jake declared with a stern tone, "i'm not letting you push me away, not after everything we've been through." you scoffed. "after everything we've been through? you're unbelievable, jake. i'm not gonna fall for your pretty-boy antics anymore, so you can forget about all that."

jake was at a loss for words. he'd never seen you be so cold before, not to him, not to anyone.

"listen, let's both just calm down. i know we're both heated right now, and we shouldn't be arguing when we're mad like this and-"

"will you shut up with your preaching and just go already?!" you yelled out in frustration, wanting nothing more than to crawl into a ball and be left alone. you didn't want to face the man who was actively breaking your heart into tiny little pieces any longer.

"fine," jake gave in, not saying another word and simply walking out of your house.

secretly, you wanted him to keep fighting for you even though it wouldn't make sense if he did.

the millisecond you heard the door shut, you immediately began bawling your eyes out.

you had no idea what was gonna happen next, if anything that is.

all you could do is sob helplessly in the same spot he left you in.

--------------------------------------------------------

you made sure to sob your eyes until you could no longer feel tears in your eyes before heading to work with heavier makeup than usual to cover your tear-stained skin.

calling your manager beforehand, you let her know that you were able to work from opening to closing for which she was quite pleased to hear.

you needed to be as distracted as possible so that you wouldn't think of jake's pretty, yet also cute, puppy face, and the way his hair flowed whenever he'd turn to look at you, and also-

damn, you were already failing your mission miserably.

you managed to pull yourself together on the bus ride to work and walk into the bar without any trouble.

lucky for you, the bar extra was packed this evening which meant you'd be too busy running around to think about anything besides alcohol and more alcohol.

there was no room to think about how much you missed jake's presence, how much you wanted him to kiss you and tell you that everything was going to be okay, and you definitely weren't thinking about how much you missed the way his scent blinded you whenever he pulled you into an embrace.

it seemed nothing else could gain control over your clouded mind the way jake does. the way that only he could possibly do.

you were so distracted by faded thoughts of him that you nearly spilled drinks multiple times during your shift and nearly dropped a crystal wine glass floor because of how zoned out you were.

luckily, your mishaps were enough to keep you on your toes plus distracted for a teensy amount of time and by the time you checked the clock, customers were already on their way out for closing hours to come.

you volunteered to stay later than usual to lend a hand and clean up around the bar as an excuse to stay away from your thoughts for as long as possible. your manager found it strange, but she was thankful nonetheless to have some extra hands on deck helping out.

waving goodbye to your manager after cleaning tables and counters, you finally exited the building with a deep sigh and began to walk to the bus stop.

as soon as the night time air hit you, you were suddenly plagued with the most extreme wave of loneliness you'd ever experienced. you feared that you would feel lonelier at night because of the jake situation, and you hated that those fears were steadily becoming a reality.

your brain began to run laps as you started to wonder how things could have turned out if you'd been less nit-picky.

maybe you overreacted. maybe you made something out of nothing. maybe everything was your fault.

you couldn't help but sigh.

the walk home from the bus stop was when you finally let all the tears you were holding in pour from your eyes. you almost couldn't see where you were going due to the tears blurring your vision, but you eventually got to your house. your eyes jaded with tears, you turned the corner to enter your house only to be greeted by a figure sitting at your doorstep.

none other than jake.

he simply could not bear the pain of you not being by his side. he was determined to get through to you; whatever it would take, he'd do it ten fold. jake refused to let you go.

ever since you popped into his life, his greatest fear became losing you, and he refused to let that fear become a reality. he swore to himself that he'd do anything and everything to prove himself to you.

"w-what are you doing here?" you questioned jake between sobs, "i though i t-told you to stay away."

"i'm not going anywhere, y/n. hell, i'll sleep out here all night if i have to," jake declared firmly, his bloodshot and teary eyes gleaming in the moonlight, "trust me, you're not getting rid of me that easily." his tone turned slightly sly.

"jake..." you sighed out, "come inside. how long have you been sitting out here?" you asked whilst opening the front door. he shook his head, not wanting to answer as if it wasn't important for you to possess the knowledge of his time camping at your doorstep.

you let him step inside before you, locking the door once you both got inside.

"so, what is it?" you questioned him again with a sigh, "are you here to collect your things or something?" you tried to keep your voice steady, not wanting to show just how badly you were hurting.

"why would i? it's not like i'm never coming back," jake responded with the same stern tone as before, "you told me to leave and never come back, but i know you better than that, y/n. we both know that we're not just gonna let each other slip through our fingertips. well, at least i'm not going to.

you hated the ease that jake had when it came to seeing right through you and/or literally reading your mind.

he always joked that his sixth sense was 'reading y/n's mind,' but it was scarily true, especially in this moment.

pondering on how attentive jake had always been toward you was enough to have you bawling your eyes out again. thinking about all the little things he did for you every since the beginning made your heart feel like it was about to burst.

jake cautiously stepped toward you, testing the waters to see if you'd push him away if he got any closer, but to his surprise, you didn't. he took this as an opportunity to hold you in his arms, and he was relieved that you even let him do so.

he let out the most intense sigh of relief at the feeling of your head falling against his chest, certain that you were able to hear how quickly his heart pounded.

"shh," jake whispered quietly as he held you tightly, "i'm here, princess. don't cry. you're gonna make me start crying again, baby." you simply melted at his touch as he gently rocked you from side to side, comfort rushing through your body. once you calmed down, you were able to wipe your tears away from your eyes and look up at his tear-stained face. the sight of his upset expression made you bury your head back into his chest, a slight guilt creeping up on you from making him cry along with you.

but you began to feel guilt for another unrelated matter.

unfortunately, you were seconds away from ruining the endearing moment because you couldn't help yourself from expressing your thoughts.

"you're all dirty now," you uttered a soft whine as you wiped a few stray tears away from your eyes, "i was all over the bar cleaning up which made me all gross, and now you're probably all dirty now too."

all of jake's clothes were expensive, and knowing that the hoodie he wore most definitely had remnants of unsanitary bar grime, makeup, and tears made you shudder with unease. his cashmere prada sweater would definitely be unforgiving when it came to attempting to get makeup stains cleaned off of the material.

"is that really what you're worried about, silly?" jake asked with a refreshing yet shy smile whilst tilting your chin upward to look up at him. nodding, you felt your face shifting into a pout yet again and wanted to hide your face as a result.

"give me a second to wash up, please?" you gave jake another pout, embarrassed as you wiped the last stray tears away from your face, tears finally coming to a halt.

"only if i'm allowed to join," jake remarked with a cheeky expression, slightly too soon.

"fine."

--------------------------------------------------------

you should've seen this coming.

you should've known that you'd be under the warm water, letting it trickle down your skin, getting lost in a make-out session with the man who can't seem to make up his mind.

you could never seem to gain a sense of morality when the subject of the situation is jake.

you let him overtake you physically and mentally.

there was something about seeing you covered in droplets of warm water whilst steam surrounded the two of you that steadily made jake's desire for you grow deeper and more intense.

jake never knew until now that he had a 'thing' for seeing you with body wash suds all over you; it was like he unlocked a new part of his already-filthy brain.

"hey," jake uttered between kisses as his hands explored your soapy body, "everything i said earlier, it was all a misunderstanding. i love you, y/n, i really do. i just got nervous saying it out loud and started talking out of my ass as a result. please trust me when i tell you that i love you so badly."

your kiss with jake deepened, shutting him up before he could say anything else.

you didn't feel like responding, mostly because you didn't know what to say, so you simply kept kissing him as his hands continued to wander themselves around your body, unknowingly making your core heat up.

as soon as things began to wind down, you turned off the water, handing jake a towel as well as taking one for yourself.

upon arriving to your bedroom, the two of you put on some comfortable clothes as if you weren't about to get undressed in the next five minutes.

you two found your way onto the bed, kissing each other on the lips softly until the situation turned more erotic.

"you're so pretty," jake mumbled into your lips, "all mine." you nodded your head at his comment, "yours." jake seemed to be pleased with your response, it becoming more apparent that his boxers were growing tight.

you let your hands feel down his torso until you got lower, and lower, and eventually down to the waistband of his boxers, ready to take them off after only a few short minutes of them being on. jake followed suit, hastily getting your panties off and discarding them onto the nightstand.

continuing the intimate kiss, jake began to rub gentle circles against your sensitive clit whilst you took his hard length into one of your hands, slowly stroking it at the same pace as he touched you. amorous moans were the only sounds filling the room as jake smoothly slipped a finger inside your needy hole. he moved his hand slowly, feeling every bit of your walls against his slender finger as you began to moan helplessly into his mouth, gripping his cock and stroking it a little harder than before. the two of you moaned in tandem, using your hands to please one another until you reached your limits.

"wait," jake quickly broke the kiss, causing you to look at him as he still continued to rub your clit, "i need a taste."

his statement made your face flush red as you let go of his throbbing cock, letting it fall against his toned lower abdomen as he slid his finger out of your pussy, now positioning you comfortably against the headboard.

"don't be shy, princess," jake chuckled at your coy demeanor, "i've seen you before, silly, and i love what i see." he arguably made you more shy once he parted your legs, biting his lip at the sight of your wet cunt. jake wasted no time, going in for a taste half a second later. the feeling of his tongue against your warmth making a moan escape your lips as your fingers tugged on his pretty brown hair.

"fuck, that's so good, daddy," you mewled as his tongue worked wonders against your hole. you could feel the way he smirked against your clit every time he earned a little moan from you. jake practically lived to please you whether you realized it or not. "i need your cock, please, please, please?" you begged as he stuck his tongue into your soaking hole. jake looked up from between your legs, smirking at how needy his tongue made you.

jake positioned you onto your side, wanting to hold you while he fucked himself into you. he held your leg up, stroking his cock a few times before letting his tip enter you. you squirmed at the feeling, letting out a little moan at the feeling of his thick tip passing through you. slowly, he inched his length into you, his breath hitching at the way your walls clenched around him.

"good girl, so tight for daddy," jake breathed out as he began to thrust softly.

you could feel him so deep inside your cunt, your core quickly burning up at the sensation of his tip steadily bumping against your sweet spot.

jake somehow managed to fuck you like a whore whilst holding you like you were his precious princess.

his thrusts were gentle but very affective, making you twitch as you brought your hand down to your clit, wanting badly to reach your climax.

"daddy, right there," you whined quietly as you brought your hand from your clit up to his spare hand, bringing it around to cup one of your boobs. jake moaned at the way you held his hand against your chest, his core tightening and heating up alongside yours. the stimulation was too much. you found yourself cumming around the base of his thick cock, coating his pretty member with your arousal. "such a good girl," jake praised you as he brought his hand down to your lower abdomen, "you're so pretty when you cum for me."

"your turn, jakey," you urged him by reaching down to play with his balls, causing his head to fall back with a loud groan. he had no choice but to fill you up, ropes of cum shooting deep into your pussy as you both moaned at the feeling.

calming down from your orgasms, you two stayed in the position you were in before inevitably falling asleep as jake kept you close to him throughout the entire night as you both slept.

--------------------------------------------------------

the morning after, you felt deviously groggy as if you'd gotten drunk the night before.

the first thing you noticed was jake being gone.

for a second your heart shattered yet again, but your drama queen moment was interrupted when you noticed a handwritten letter on the bedside table.

my lovely princess,

i had to head home early this morning, princess, please don't alarmed by me not being there. i'm not sure if you're working this evening, but it would be great if you could stop by my place beforehand if you are.

-jakey <3

you let out a sigh of relief knowing that jake didn't leave out of pettiness or anything like that.

you rolled out of bed earlier than you would've liked to so that you could go and visit jake before heading to your shift. you couldn't help but wonder why he wanted you to be there. shrugging it off, you quickly got changed into your work uniform, the usual tight and cropped button-up that you barely had buttoned, and a short skirt.

after getting into your work clothes, you put on a significantly less amount of makeup than yesterday before feeding the fish and slipping on a pair of pretty black heels that were easy to walk in.

and you, of course, couldn't forget to bring (one of) your favorite bags that, of course, jake bought for you. since you believed that your recent fight with jake was now behind the both of you, you felt comfortable with using the clothes he'd gifted you throughout your time together.

feeling thankful for the fact that you made up with jake, it was now time to head to his place.

--------------------------------------------------------

after the lengthy train journey to jake's house, you walked up to his door and rang the fancy doorbell, waiting for him to come to the door.

you were greeted with a soft kiss from a handsome-as-always jake before he looked you up and down, seeming surprised and shocked at your skimpy work clothes as if he hadn't seen them before.

i mean come on, he literally met you while you were wearing these clothes.

"here," jake reached over to you, buttoning your shirt up higher and practically trying to cram your boobs back into your shirt in the process. he could've sworn they'd gotten bigger, but maybe it was just his dirty imagination. "much better," he sighed with relief. you couldn't help but giggle at his antics; you never saw the day where he'd but buttoning your shirt up.

"you're so silly, puppy," you chuckled as you gazed into his sparkly eyes, completely entranced by his handsome face.

you two stood there, your arms around his neck and his around your waist until you were brutally interrupted by a loud "ahem!"

startled, your head snapped in the direction in which the voice came from.

you couldn't believe your eyes.

"jake, w-what's going on here?" you questioned him with urgency as you stepped away from him, losing physical contact.

it had been so long since you've seen her face that for a second you believed that your eyes were playing tricks on you.

there she was, stood right in front of you.

the girl from the bar.

"y/n, just give me a chance to explain myself," jake begged to which you motioned for him to go on as you tried not to roll your eyes, "i just thought that maybe by bringing you both here, you'd bring this drama to a close, call a truce or something, you know?"

"you're joking, right?" you questioned him a second time, feeling like you were about to lose your mind, "there's no drama that needs to be 'closed,' and i don't appreciate the fact that you're bringing me face-to-face with someone who belittled me for months and went on to physically assault me. there is no drama; she's just- she's- a bitch! that's what she is, and i never want to see her again, jake!" your tone was firm, clear, and serious until you panicked after calling her a bitch. you couldn't help but feel your stomach fall into the depths of hell as you tried to hold back tears.

"now just who the fuck do you think you are, y/n?" she began aggressively moving closer to where you and jake were standing, causing your body to tense up, her knowing your name while you didn't even know hers making you fear her presence even more, "you- you're the bitch in this situation, so don't you get it twisted! why are you in jake's life in the first place? all you've done is take up all his time while you sit around and spend his money all while ruining his reputation! before you were around, he dedicated his whole life to his family's business, and once you waltzed in, he started wasting his time taking care of you like a liability. you're ruining him whether you want to admit it or not!"

her words brought you to a standstill. why did she seem to know so much about you and jake's relationship? more importantly, why does she think she has the right to say these things? more, more importantly, why hasn't jake said a single word?

"who are you to say any of that?" you blurted out furiously, "why are you so concerned about what we're doing? just mind your business! none of this would be happening if you just decided to leave him alone! leave us alone while you're at it! blaming me for random shit isn't going to change a thing; jake and i both know what's going on between him and i, and that's none of your concern. leave me out of this."

trying to remain calm, you took a deep breath only for her to start coming closer to a point where you could smell her flowery perfume.

"his business is my business," she stated firmly, looking into your soul via your eyes, "you better believe and internalize when i say that you're a no-good, useless commoner who could only dream of living the life we do. just because you think you're in cahoots with jake doesn't mean you're gonna snake your way into his life, you got that? you're just a bit of fun for him, someone he can use for a little while before he realizes that you're just a pathetic commoner who he shouldn't associate with. god, when will you realize that you're just an object that he can put his arm around and fuck when he has nothing else to do?"

at this time, you wished that your ears were deceiving you; you truly couldn't believe that anyone could say something as cruel as that seemingly without feeling any shame or guilt.

you also couldn't believe that you were basically having a cat-fight with another woman over a man. you never ever thought you'd get to this point, but jake... he just means so much to you to a point where you couldn't bear the thought of someone trying to take him away from you. god you felt pathetic for letting a guy take control of your emotions like this, but you couldn't help yourself; jake was so precious to you.

"soyeon, that's enough!" jake suddenly spoke up, shocking both of you.

well, at least now you finally learned her name after all this time.

"i'm not just gonna sit here and let you say disrespectful things to y/n! she did nothing wrong, and i'm sick of you thinking that she did. she's not ruining anything, and she's especially not ruining me! just leave her and i alone and find someone else."

"seriously, why did you bring her here?" you asked jake quietly, "you knew she wasn't going to be civil about this."

"y/n," jake looked into your eyes as he spoke, "i really thought things would be settled. in hindsight, i should've seen this coming, but i never meant to hurt you by doing this."

she seemed to smirk at the way you finally began to tear up.

"well you did," you spoke out, gently wiping your waterline to avoid messing up your makeup, "i honestly don't know how much more i can take. you told me that you loved me last night; was it all a lie? were you just sweet-talking me? i don't know what you want anymore, jake."

at this point, jake's feelings were as clear as mud.

"look at me. please don't cry," jake begged, wanting so desperately to wipe your tears away, soyeon watching the situation from just a few paces away.

"see, there he goes again," her voice making you tense up again, "taking care of you like a child. it's sad to watch, really. you're only stressing him out by acting like this, so go take your tears somewhere else-"

"haven't we heard enough from you already?!" jake raised his voice at her, "look, if you can't suck it up and leave her alone, then get out and never show your face around her nor i ever again!"

"how could you say that, jake?" she began crying out, "if it weren't for her, things would've played out perfectly! if it weren't for her, we'd be married!"

"m-married?" you managed to speak out as you looked over at jake in disbelief. after that, you couldn't get another word out, only mustering up the courage to take your phone and wallet out of the bag you brought with you (that was, of course, from jake) and leave it on a chair before walking out the door.

no matter how many times jake called your name, you couldn't find the courage to turn around. hearing the words that she said made your entire world crumble around you.

marriage? is that why he invited you to his house to meet her formally?

whatever.

you didn't want to think about it anymore.

you wished that jake's front yard and driveway wasn't such a strenuous walk because you could still hear him calling your name endlessly, begging you to come back.

"let her go, jake," you heard soyeon's loud and mocking voice, "she doesn't understand this lifestyle, and she never will."

maybe she was right. maybe you'd never understand because you weren't born into a rich and noble family like they were.

you couldn't hear much else once you got to the end of the excruciatingly long driveway, only being able to hear a loud "get out" that you presumed came from jake.

after finally making it out of his residence, you took a second to tell your boss that something came up and that you couldn't come in after all. luckily, she was understanding and thankfully didn't make you explain what went on which was a relief.

at that, you took your sad ass back home and planned to stay there for the next couple of days.

--------------------------------------------------------

"that's absolutely insane," yeji's jaw dropped over the phone.

you decided to call her and tell her the sequence of events because, come on, you can't hide anything from your best friend.

"and i'm a wreck over it," you admitted lowly as you spoke into the phone, "i think i just need some time to myself, you know? after all, i've spent virtually all my time with him since we met, so maybe some time apart will do us some good."

"who knows, maybe he'll finally make up his mind," yeji shrugged before letting you go, reminding you that you could call her any time no matter what.

you sighed softly once the call ended, feeling more alone than ever.

stupidly, you decided to open up his designated drawer in your bedroom where he kept some clothes and put on one of his hoodies. the smell of his clothes only made your heart shatter into even smaller pieces as you curled up on your bed in hopes that you could get some sleep, your eyes sore and tired from crying.

a sudden panic filled your body once you heard the sound of your front door being unlocked, causing you to jolt up from your bed.

"y/n, are you home? it's just me," you heard a familiar voice call out to you from the living room. you peeked from underneath your covers to see jake standing before you, holding out his hand for you to grab it, but you refused.

as much as you wanted to curl up in bed with jake and act like everything was dandy, simply seeing his face made you start crying like a baby.

jake's heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight of you crying.

he did this.

he fucked up.

and he was unsure if he could do anything to fix it.

"g-get out," you managed to stutter through your tears, "y-you're a liar; you d-don't love m-me. s-shouldn't you be g-getting ready f-for a w-wedding with h-her or s-something?"

"for fuck's sake, y/n, i'm not marrying her!" jake raised his voice at you unintentionally, "i don't even want her in my life, so what makes you think that i'd do anything of the sort?" you could only let out sniffles in response, letting tears trickle down your face as jake slowly approached you.

upon seeing you up close, he noticed that you were clad in one of his hoodies which only made his heart soften even more. he couldn't stop himself from climbing into your bed and sitting next to you, his back against the headboard as he looked down at you.

you turned away from him, not wanting him to see your puffy, tear-stained face.

"is it because she's prettier than me?" you asked, your emotions suddenly spilling out, "because her figure is better than mine? or maybe how her hair always looks perfect? is it the way that she always dresses up no matter where she goes? or how you and her probably have a lot more in common in a sense that you two both come from noble and rich families? if you really think i'm an unattractive nobody just say it."

you couldn't see it, but jake's face was in a state of shock, absolutely refusing to believe that your mind came up with all of those ideas.

"you don't really think that, right?" jake asked softly, getting his answer from the way that you stayed still and silent, "princess, how could i ever? don't you know that i only have eyes for you? please, look at me." you felt jake's warm hand meet your shoulder, helping you turn your body to face him.

you sat up against the headboard next to him, your eyes glistening as you looked into his eyes that seemed to be saddened upon finding out what was going on in the depths of your mind. jake couldn't help but stop and wonder how long you'd been feeling that way, and it caused a sinking feeling to bubble up within him.

"if there's one thing i want you to know right now, it's that i think you're the most gorgeous woman i've ever laid my eyes upon," jake declared, pulling you closer and closer, "i don't care what you say, i don't care if you disagree because this is my truth." jake eventually pulled you close enough to where you were sat on his lap, your forehead against his while he lowly mumbled sweet nothings to you.

"you know, ever since i first put my hands on you, i never wanted to touch anyone else," jake admitted in a whisper as his hands began to travel around your waist, "even the thought of being in this position with anyone else makes me sick to my core."

you let jake's hands feel all over you as you felt his obvious hard growing underneath you, letting a small whimper pass through your lips.

some would argue that your relationship with jake was in too fragile of a state to be intimate with each other, but you couldn't disagree more; you needed to feel jake in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible.

"please," you whined in a whisper, jake knowing exactly what you were asking for and following suit.

in the blink of an eye, you let jake slip his hard cock inside you, his hands still wandering around your waist as he pushed his hoodie off your body. you let out quiet moans as goosebumps formed all over your body from his touch. the combination of the slow movements of your hips against his along with the way his hands ghosted over your chest was enough to send your body into a frenzy.

not wanting to rush the pleasure, you slowed the movement of your hips to focus on jake's beauty.

you took time to adore the way his lips looked against your chest as he left gentle pecks along your skin, the way he ran his fingers through your hair, the way his eyes would meet yours, causing you to become shy.

"see how beautiful you are?" jake began, his lips finding their way back onto your skin, "i couldn't even imagine anyone else who i'd give myself to almost every goddamn chance i get. i want you all the time, you have no idea." his breathing slowed down as you began to kiss his soft lips.

it's impossible.

he's impossible.

jake sim is impossible not to fall in love with.

--------------------------------------------------------

a/n: sorry this one is so long and isn't exactly an easy read. i hope you still enjoyed it anyway and are looking forward to the next one <3 ily all and tysm for being super patient with this series. i love it so much and don't want to give up on it, so your support really helps <3

taglist: @axartia @jjhmk @valiantwastelanddelusion @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow @lhsng @i-dalso @bunhoons @red-xherry @duolingofanaccount @lix-freckle3 @l0st-h0p3s @leeis @jaeyunology @green-orangeade @imbaeksbae @sunghoonmybeloved @tum73er @dilftime @qoh3 @sh1mja4yun @leeheeheeseung @jenshinee @sjakewrld @markleeisdabestdrug @futuremodeldiary @jeondolly @lil-iva @lalalalawon @noirgray @jckeplanet @teddy-lhj @meinapricity @jjkshies @bubbleseo @cherryunie @mqndnolia @bently-baby @fluffypiesstuff @ihrtk1ve @wonkiluvr @teti-menchon0604 @lovienikitty @rjsmochii @omgjwon @sunshine-skz @wy1999t @lv4rin @oceanyocean @nyfwyeonjun @mxshimoo @multifandombtvh @donghyckl @iloveoceaneyesss @jakeswhore @jinsfavoritedoll @brownsugarbaybee @heehee01 @mesopret @heesitation @heeverseblog @yoursjaeyun @mklhyvn @jungwon-xo @crazydelulu @kyurizeu @ineedsomezzz @beeomgui @graythecoffeebean @mixtape-racha @jaehoonii @wave2love @ifykyk3 @niniisnormal @miumiuoi

(everyone in bold will be removed from my taglist in the next post, so if one of these accounts is you, please check your tag settings!)

©yunjardi on tumblr

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

I need some Theodore nott or Mattheo riddle x Gryffindor fem! Reader fluff and maybe soft smut and she’s reading in his lap while he’s leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and Turing the pages while she keeps reading it and it’s super smutty and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens-) can it be a longer fic?

Theodoreee's scenario

Imma see what I can do about the length babes dw about it

You avoided Theodore's eyes because you didn't trust yourself. And for good the reason. Not only did his voice hold a power over you...so did his arms. You were laying in his arms reading The Potrait of Dorian Gray with him. It was an interesting book. If only you could concentrate.

His long fingers gripped the book, a singular one Flipping the page ever so often, his veins on show. You sucked in a deep breath as you tried to focus away from him. You kept reading the same line over and over again.

Your mind however disagreed with the idea of ignoring him, flashing you with images of his arms doing questionable things. Your face flushed slightly as you curled in more into your self.

Theodore Nott was bored out of his mind, The potrait of Dorian Grey was something he'd read a million times. You began to trace his arms bringing his attention to you.

Glancing over at you a small smile light up his face. He notice the light pink on your cheeks, how your eyes were clearly unfocused, how your legs seemed to press together closer than normal.

"What's on your mind love," he had an educated guess but wanted to hear it from you. You didn't respond which only feuled his guess. But he needed to test the theory.

You were incredibly zoned out that you didn't hear him. Theodore smirked and started his attack. One hand held the book and the other hand snaked around your waist. Theodore Nott knew what was going through your mind and he planned to replicate just that.

He flipped a page one handed as his other hand fumbled which your thin shirt. He swore when he first saw you come in, your breasts greeted him first.

He'd been itching to take it off you ever since. He innocently slid his hand up you stomach slowly. You were still calm as having not noticed. He tested the waters and put the book down. You were too zoned out to care.

He wanted to laugh at that but kept calm. Later

He continued his quiet trek up to your breasts he didn't touch them just yet instead his now freed hand journeyed south towards your shorts. He slid past the elastic barrier.

He knew it.

Your cunt was warm and soaking wet, his index finger made contact sending shocks up your spine effectively waking you up. You lurched sending your breast into Teddy's hand. With a smirk he gripped it and with his thumb and index twisted it slightly.

"Teddy~" you gasp which turns into a whimper as he continues his assault. "Theo what ah-" your objections turn into soft mewls.

"Need your shirt off love think you can do that for me," your hands claw at the hem before tossing it. His thick veiny hands around your breasts made you clench around his finger.

Theo's low laugh sent shivers all over you.

"The mere sight of my hand had you clenching so tightly around my finger, look how much of a whore you are..." he falter as you clenched around him again this time rewarding him with an orgasm.

"Fuck, I wish I could take a picture of you," your face was sublime in his eyes. He lowered his head onto your neck and lightly sucked on your neck going down.

"I'll mark you another time love," he said everytime you'd lurch from pleasure. He sucked hard on a piece of your skin leaving a slight mark.

He reached your nipple and with a slight lick electricity shot through you. You jerk causing you ended up face planting into him.

"Shit, love sorry," he said as he pushed you up slightly not quite getting you off him. Now you were sitting on him your knee on both sides of him. You watched as his hands flexed behind him supporting the weight of both of you. His shirt rose up and you locked eyes with his abs, his chest was muscular yes but you'd never really seen beneath it. You reached out and traced it enamoured with his beauty.

With a sharp breath he sat up and his back was against the bed. His shirt slowly and sadlyy moving down. You tore your eyes from his arms trying not to focus on him. His tousled black hair, his soft looking pink lips, his leg opening smile.

Fuck he was gorgeous

Unbeknownst to you, he was watching you watch him. He knew how well his arms turned you on. He knew how much one look from him would have you down and out. He knew how much you were fighting yourself.

He knew.

Even now as you muttered apologies and tried to get of him he knew it was futile.

"Stop, please," he said halting your movements. "Don't move,"

"What? Am I crushing you?" You asked moving even more. His arms reached up and held you down forcing you to stay still. Then you felt it.

Oh

"See what you do to me love," he chuckled. "Moving around so innocently not know what effect you have on me," his hands on you moved you up and down on him. "Want me to stop."

"No," you answer quick and fleeting. "Please." He laughs at your desperation.

"But first tell me what had you clenching your legs earlier hmm, before I decided to have a little fun" he continues moving your hips.

TPC.exe. has crashed

[Your thought processing capabilities have crashed.]

He stops and you whine. "Theodore," he smiles at how his name sounds from your lips.

"Answer me love,"

"You, your"

"Me, My?"

"Arms," you try to continue grinding against him but his hands hold you firmly in place.

"My arms?" He says his voice low. Suddenly he he pushes you off him as he climbs above you while you're wriggling beneath. "Tell me more."

"So strong and-and" your mind is muddled with pleasure.

"All big and strong?" He offers.

"Mhmm," you mumbled losing yourself down the rabbit hole that's called Theodore Nott.

"Fuck," he whispers into your neck. Suddenly he stands up and puts you upright. Accioing your shirt onto you, he carries you bridal style your face falling into his neck. You're confused for a minute till you notice Draco coming and the rest coming in. Theodore makes a manner of talking to you but all you can do is mumble a soft really.

"Look at you Teddy, you've bored to girl to sleep," Draco drawls. Theodore raises his wand and Draco is left pantsed. His silk underwear on show.

"OI!," But Teddy is long gone. When they reach his Dorms Theodore let's you down as he closes the door.

"We don't have to do anything," he whispers although his need seeps through his voice. "What I did earlier if you weren't comfortable or maybe you had a lapse of judgement...

"Maybe I want to do anything," you shyly say meeting his eyes.

"Fuck love," he days before he grabs your waist and brings you closer. "I plan to worship you my love,"

♡Hope it's long enough if not I can add more lmk in the comments♡

[Edited]

[Edited]

[bullet-prooflove]

Pictures of You - Roy Kent x Reader

Tagging: @elizabeththebat @proceduralpassion @crazy4chickennuggets @callsignartemis @kmc1989 @@anyamcdonald @taytaylala12 @daydreamgoddess14 @amieinghigh @littleesilvia @blackleatherjacketz @xphantomphanphanaticx @its-a-show-stoppin-number @st4rgirliesstuff @secretsquirrelinc @meg-ro @xoxabs88xox @midnightmagpiemama

Roy’s in the locker room when Trent approaches him. He’s listening to a conversation between Issac and Colin with his arms crossed over his chest, when he catches the expression on the other man’s face.  He knows that somethings wrong, he can feel it in the pit of his stomach. When Trent tilts his head towards the empty manager’s office, Roy follows without hesitation.

At first, he thinks it’s something to do with one of the lads, a story that’s about to break, a leak about Colin’s private life. A surge of protectiveness rushes through him, if that’s the case, he’s going to hunt down the piece of shit that told the press and strangle them with his bare hands.

It’s only when Trent shows him the image on his phone that Roy understands the magnitude of the situation. His mouth goes dry, he rubs his palm across his stubble as he surveys the headline.

Kent’s Kinky Caster.

The picture that accompanies it is one that he’s never seen before. Your hair is longer, it falls across your shoulders as you bite your lower lip. Your thumb is drawing down the strap of the midnight-blue corset that you’re wearing. It accentuates your curves, pushing up your breasts.

You look fucking fantastic but it’s not you, he knows that you prefer lace and silk. Materials that cling or drape, that don’t dig in or contort your shape. He prefers you comfortable when you’re with him, not trussed up in something that’s going to leave marks across your skin.

“They must have hacked your phone.” Trent summarises as he takes back the device and slips it into his pocket.

“Not mine.” Roy says gruffly as he drops into Beard’s vacant seat. “I’ve never seen that picture before, the shit she sends me…” Roy trails off before he meets Trent’s gaze. “It’s classy, nothing like that.”

Trent bows his head in understanding. The picture that’s been delivered to the papers is one of a woman who’s trying so hard to be something else, for someone else. You’ve come a long way since then. He should know, he’s been your friend and confident for a few of years by now. The two of you had worked together for The Independent once upon a time. You’d been an investigative reporter before moving onto the podcasting world, and a damn good one at that.

The two of you still caught up every couple of weeks for drinks. He was one of the first people to know about your blossoming relationship with Roy Kent. You had no idea who he was initially, and Trent had found that endearing.

He suspects that the photograph has come from your ex-Martin. Trent knows that he will claim that his phone had been hacked but realistically no one hacks the phone of a Booker Prize Winner. Nobody cares who they’re sleeping with.

Trent recalls he’d made a nuisance of himself in the aftermath of the breakup. Turning up at your house all hours of the day and night until you’d sought a restraining order. After that he would bad mouth you to anyone that would listen, which is why Roy had headbutted him last month at a Save the Polar Bears event. Trent had gifted him an expensive bottle of Scotch  with a card that read “Because you did what I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.”

“I’ve put a few messages out to my contacts.” Trent informs Roy, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against Beard’s desk. “I should hear back from them soon.”

“I did this.” Roy tells the other man as he rubs his hands over his face in exasperation. “It’s because I headbutted him at the fucking Panda thing isn’t it?”

“Polar bears.” Trent corrects before sighing. “I think you give yourself too much credit. Martin’s had a bee in his bonnet because SHE left him.”

“Yea.” Roy snarls, his dark eyes practically glowing with rage. “Because she walked in on him fucking a Page Three model in her bed, if it was me, I would have painted the room with his innards.”

It’s a vivid image, Trent has to give him that.

“He doesn’t like that she’s happier than him, more successful. The fact she’s with someone who actually cares about her, who gives her what he couldn’t.” Trent says taking off his glasses and gesturing with them as he speaks. “Being the type of man that he is, it probably sent him off the deep end.”

“That doesn’t excuse this type of shit.” Roy snaps, sagging back into the chair in frustration. He’s helpless right now, utterly fucking helpless and he hates it. The story is already out there. Every fucking pervert on the internet is probably wanking off to that picture of you and you have no fucking idea because you’re on a flight home from Ireland. He knows this is going to devastate you and he can’t stand the thought of it.

He looks up at Trent, his expression one of anguish.

“This is going to kill her.”

Love Roy? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Want more Roy? Check out his Masterlist!

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[thomthomp]

TADC Jax Cosplay Process and Con Experience !

Hello !! Thought I'd post a little journal/process thing for a Jax cosplay I've done recently! I wouldn't call this a step-by-step tutorial as many of this was trial and error, along with much improvisation (I also didnt plan on doing this so there are few actual process images haha). This was a lot of fun and I hope someone can get something out of this !

MAKING THE OVERALLS

So as this was my first time sewing anything, a couple blunders were made. First I definitely shoulda bought this fabric a metre longer than i did. As a result after cutting it in half to create the two sides, I realised it was gonna be way too short going up the chest. So after sewing the two sides together I ended up with some oversized clown pants, that also happened to be super skinny in the legs as I may have eyballed cutting the inseam lol. Drop crotch realness was in full effect.

I followed this tutorial on how to make the base of my overalls, her very "eh, let's go for it" attitude was massively helpful in making this first sewing attempt less daunting

So...with limited fabric and with no immediate desire to buy another metre from Hobbycraft, I knew there was only one thing to do...

And that was slapping some leftover scrap on top lol. After that all I had to do was sew the straps on both sides and I had some (just about) wearable, non-adjustable overalls ! The colour is different as I had dyed it in Rit Dyemore super pink after sewing.

Now because I was adding this extra scrap on top after sewing the base, I wasnt able to do flat measurements to see if this scrap would actually go all the way around. Rather than taking more time to properly pin the two parts together and getting a proper look. My impatient brain said %$!# no and just pinned parts of it as i sewed, making it less finicky, but not realising that the scrap was too short. Luckily, pulling that empty space together and sewing it resulted in a fit that was almost perfect for my body, as i wanted it to be form fitting anyway. So remember kids, being impatient works out every time :)

The last details I had to do (other than hot glueing some yellow foam buttons to the straps) was add the chest patch and inside leg sleeves at the bottom. Using the original colour fabric was perfect for these two parts (I swear it looks pinker irl). For the chest patch I just folded some scrap together and top stiched around the edges, leaving the top edge open as convenient phone/card storage for Con. I didn't trust myself to not bind the back and front of the overalls together while sewing it on, so I just used hot glue and slapped in on there. The leg sleeves were even easier, sewing some more scrap around then binding the exposed edges with hot glue.

MAKING THE HEAD

So I had no idea how the head was gonna turn out, my only cosplay head experience prior was my first attempt at Jax last October of which I used painted foam card. Minecraft lookin ass

I knew going in that I wanted to do it fursuit head style, starting with a foam bucket helmet and hot glueing extra foam to the sides to create the skeleton of the head. Goated foam head tutorial by Skyehigh Studios was used for this

Attaching some half moon foam cut outs to each side of the head, doubling them up for stronger support, then adding some shorter half moons next to each eye hole, I was able to get the oval shape that jax has going on.

I measured around the head between the two half moon cuts on each side, then hot glued two pieces of fleece fabric on the front and back. For UK peeps I'd reccommend poundfabrics.co.uk, really affordable and arrived super quick, which was good since i left buying the fleece about a week before con (oops)

Now here's where I probably shoulda done more pre-measurements and sewed the top part of the fleece on with the side parts, so I could simply slip the thing on the foam skeleton like a beanie. Well, caveman brain got the better of me and just hot glued the underside of the fleece parts together. It was uneven, several holes remained and I burned my fingers, but gosh darn was that there three fleece patches glued together on them there.

Finally, at 2am the night before con I added the ears. I was initially concerned as I had underestimated how the weight of the foam would react to flopping around on the head, which made for some vry droopy ears. To make em more straight, but still keep the flop, I stuck some large cocktail sticks I had lying around about half way up the ears. This still allowed for flop behaviour, but stayed mostly upright while wearing them. After wrapping the fleece around and hotglueing them down in two gaps I had made, the head was officially done !

MAKING THE TOP

For my first time making a top, I followed this Youtube tutorial that went the most simple route I could find, taking one of my long sleeve tops, leaving about 1 cm seam allowance and cutting out two parts each for the top and sleeves.

So, as I was still getting used to using a sewing machine, I had managed to jam the needle multiple times when sewing together the base of the top, ruining almost all the spare needles I had. Upon viewing a tutorial on how not to jam your machine, I realised I had been doing the first three points she made, consistently lol. In the moment and since it was the last day, I didnt want to take risks and simply hotglued that bad boy down.

CON EXPERIENCE

So embarking to the first day of MCM London I immediately realised how awkward the overalls were gonna be to wear, I had to wear them as high and tight as i could otherwise it was gonna look like I had comically short legs. This meant that the thigh area was gonna be fairly uncomfortable when moving and would have to take the straps off and shift everything down if I wanted to sit. Aaaaaand about an hour into the first day, the enevitable rip occurred

Thankfully the rip was probably in the most inconspictuous place possible so i didn't really care lol. But any other fears of more rips, or the ears giving out in the wind were nonexistent with the great time I had meeting people. A big highlight was the very first person who came up to me who was actively looking for digital circus cosplays and HAD CUSTOM POKEMON CARDS THEY WERE GIVING OUT TO THEM.

So cute, made my day T_T, shoutouts to milskellyfox for the card. So yeah met a ton of cool people and everything held together for the whole 3 days, including the ears which I was most spooked about lol. Can't wait to start work on the next costumes for October's Comic-Con!

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiii wordy! plsssss i need more transfem buggy quaking up the seas n the world aaaaaa i need to know ppls reactions to her being so competent and smart aaaaaaaaaaaaa dis is so girlboss of her esp w the observations and w the last part akdnajzjsjzskzj dis is so good im eating it upppp

Hiiii honey!!

She is girlboss AND girlfailure bc we love a woman with depth and I am feral. In this house We Love Women. And Clowns. And Lady Clowns. Does this say smth about me? Maybe. But it's fine.

So for reactions, I'm gonna break it down person by person as usual, but I'm gonna lump some together.

Cross Guild

• her usual crew is honestly not all that surprised by it all. Mohji, Cabji, Ritchie - they've known her for a very long time and while this is the most visibly she's gone apeshit on a topic, it's far from the first fixation they've seen from her. Buggy's got a talent for random bouts of unexpected talent or genius. Those who know, know.

• Alvida is a little surprised but mostly tired. Don't get her wrong, she adores the clown, Buggy's like the sister she never had, though she's loathe to admit it. She is a little annoyed by how often she had to pry the blue haired idiot from her work, though. Not horrifically surprised by the new angles Buggy is showing off, but she will admit, if only to herself, that the clown can be mildly terrifying with the more invasive tests she runs on prisoners.

• Galdino is just happy she doesn't hold a grudge for ditching her when Croc showed up- /j ((in truth he was a little worried when it began, but when Buggy would show up, messy but absolutely glowing with happiness, to show off her findings, he couldn't be all that upset. She's smart, he'll give her that, and she has so many ideas and questions to test or answer that it does occasionally leave him mildly dizzy when she gushes about it. When she shows off the results of her findings, he... has a healthy dose of fear, he tells himself. He genuinely IS glad to be one of her allies and not enemies.))

• Crocodile and Mihawk were largely uninterested in it until it was no longer able to be ignored. It landed in their laps, relatively speaking, when a naval ship was taken in by the Guild for questioning and then disposal. Buggy, however, didn't even hesitate to ask for the devil fruit using officer. They complied, if only to uphold the image of the triumvirate, and tagged along. Needless to say, they were initially unimpressed when all Buggy did was pamper this guy, give him snacks, and then pull out a notebook like an interview. They'd had half a mind to just leave or revoke her allowance when the questions began getting.... odd. It addressed things like stress levels, questions about genetic testing, if he'd tried training his powers and if so, how. Intrigued, they let it continue. And once Buggy completed her interview, she beamed, thanked the man for his time, and then doused him in sea water. He was summarily chained. The experiments run then were... not for the faint of heart.

- once Buggy began showing actual results, they began taking more of an interest in it all. Frankly, Mihawk was impressed and began to piece together how this woman could be the same individual Shanks had once gushed about so ardently. Crocodile, for his part, was surprised and honest to God a little unnerved by it. He couldn't argue the results, however. And once Buggy began showcasing the results of her studies and applying them elsewhere, showing off a level of competence they had not expected, the two men began leaning a little more into her orbit. ((They refuse to admit to having a crush on a clown mad scientist pirate, but... ya know....))

Rogers (remaining)

• Shanks never had a doubt in his mind that Buggy could do and be great. He'd known her for practically their entire lives, and he knew just how beautiful and bright she could be. She was the brains to his brawn, the moon to his sun, the sea to his skies. He is not surprised at all that she is doing incredible things. He is, however, mildly worried for her pyromaniac tendencies. And also heavily battling a resurgence of Feelings for pyromaniac clowns with cute laughs and sharp tongues. Help him.

• Rayleigh is laughing. No, seriously, he is just busting a gut over this. Of course their baby Bug would dive face first into a strange niche, grab it by the throat, and make it her bitch. He's so fond of that little firecracker. His baby girl has grown up so fast. ((He is reminded, suddenly, of her first forray into making bombs on the Oro when he reads about the reports of her new "toys". Part of him wanted to laugh. Another part was haunted by the memory of what a hyperfixating and sleep deprived Buggy could create. He doesn't usually spare much thought to them, but he sent a passing prayer for the Marines she faced)).

• Crocus got the news a little late to the game - his lighthouse isn't exactly a picturesque spot for incoming news coos. When he does receive it, he absolutely rushed down to tell Laboon all about his niece and her batshit ability to cause problems and mayhem. He's so proud. He's a little scared. He's mostly proud.

Misc

• Luffy, upon seeing that Buggy is living her best life and causing mayhem is vaguely proud of his auntie/step-mom/clown-thing. Lowkey wants to set her and Franky up for science and see what happens.

• Garp, upon seeing that Roger's feral clown child is now a feral clown scientist pirate explosives expert, is mildly impressed, heavily amused, and absolutely not scared at all why would he be scared of a clown it's not like she almost killed him a few times and only once was it intentional he is not scared of clowns shut up-!!!

• crackship - Katakuri has a weird Stirring In His Chest when he reads about this pretty clown woman but he doesn't acknowledge it.

• bonus crack ship - Doflamingo, upon escaping Impel Down, joining Cross Guild by force, and experiencing the clown's absolutely wild talents, has the beginningsof a crush. He has never met someone as potentially unhinged as him. Her feral grin, moral ambiguity and badonkers entrance him. He plans to bed her. She leaves him a husk of a man. He is planning their wedding.

[whosthere54]

Prison duo playlist analysis day 3 - Absence by Rio Romeo

Mmmm this songgggg me whennnnnn

I have two takes on this- One being Centross and one being Icarus. I’m gonna focus on the Centross one because I think it’s more accurate.

Just… the idea that he knew he was going to die. He knew the whole time- he didn’t know all the details, sure, but he *knew* and he *felt it*

And- he knew Icarus would not be prepared for that. Would not accept that. He knew at that time they were already struggling and he was one of the only people they were letting in. He knew that- and he was trying to push them to go talk to Rae and Athena and others because he knew he wouldn’t hold that place for much longer.

“If I just vanished do you think you’d manage? Or would you disappear right beside me?”

Because oh Icarus would. Like I said in my last post Centross was the one keeping them “sane”, their anchor keeping them from completely spiraling and when he was gone they went off the rails- spiraling so hard when he wasn’t there to help keep them steady.

You could say they did disappear the day he died. The Icarus who we knew and loved and we know cared and was kind and loved the people around them was gone. All they were focused on was trying to fix it- trying to bring him back. The Icarus Rae and Athena and everyone else in the grove knew and cared about was gone leaving just a shell of who they are- or maybe they’re the most themself they have been in the past, but that’s an argument for another time.

“Pray my baby will not squander everything to gain by my leaving”

Ah. He died to give them a chance- “make sure you do the right thing. You’ll know what I mean soon enough.” “The rest is up to you friend. I hope you all live fulfilling lives, I know that I got to because of all of you.” (Don’t mind me going and crying-)

He is giving them the opportunity to help- hoping they won’t put it to waste.

Now- I put this specifically on my prison duo playlist vs my Wolftross or Ocie and Centross ones because I feel like he knows they can take care of themselves. He mentions again in when the pieces crumble the line of

“So that Kai can watch Oscar grow up, So that Wolf and Rae can stay together and be there for eachother. I do this for all of lodestar grove, so that each and every one of them has a chance to have a happy life.”

He knows they can take care of themselves- he knows they have that support system that safety net. But he also knows at this point Icarus does not- which like I mentioned before is one of the reasons he pushing them to talk to Rae and Athena again and stop isolating themself because he knows what Fable is doing and he knows that they need it- and he knows he won’t be there to be that person for much longer.

That’s all- really. I don’t want to get too repetitive :]

The image chosen from my prison duo Pinterest board today is-

wow- look at that sad bird man. They’re so upset. :[

Anyway- I hope you like these cause I think they’re silly and fun :]

You are so loved! Go take any meds if you have to and eat and drink some water if you haven’t yet! Have a good rest of your day/night <3

[felicejules]

I'm not her.

Chapter 3

Link to Chapter 2

Featured Song (with slightly changed lyrics)

Half an hour later, I had decimated half of the training dummies in the clock tower hall. I had no idea why Crossed Wands had left them standing around there, but at that moment I honestly couldn’t care less. I had dropped my robe due to the sweat I was breaking and was currently rolling up my sleeves to get ready to pulverize the other half. Each of them seemed to bear Clover’s face.

All that work, and what did it get me?

“Reducto!” My magic, raw and amplified by my emotions, reduced a dummy to a pile of dust.

Why did I do it?

“Depulso!” I missed the next mannequin, hitting a suit of armour instead. It was blasted apart, a huge dent in its breastplate.

Scrapbooks full of me in the background… Give 'em love, and what does it get ya?

“DEPULSO!” My aim was true this time, my spell sending the contraption into the wall, where it toppled onto the pile of deformed metal.

What does it get you?

At some point I didn’t even need the incantations any longer, my rage was enough to funnel all that destructive magic through my willow wand. Its handle almost became too hot to touch, the tip glowing as my targets were burned, levitated, flipped upside down, frozen…

All your life, and what does it get you? Thanks a lot and out with the garbage! They take bows and you're batting zero…

“OY!!! Are you out of your bloody mind?!”

A high-pitched voice blared from the entrance, stopping me from blasting the very last of the dummies to pieces.

My wand still held up high, I turned towards the quickly advancing footsteps, and my shocked gaze landed on the face of a fellow third-year Gryffindor: Lucan Brattleby. He was stomping towards me, and he looked furious.

“I don’t know WHAT has your bloomers in a twist, and I don’t CARE! It took me AGES to acquire those dummies for Crossed Wands without Hecat noticing! You had no right to…”

Upon recognising my tear-streaked face, he blinked, his facial expression changing from angry to bewildered to completely flabbergasted within seconds at the sight of his meek, mousy, lanky Hufflepuff year mate, surrounded by a picture of utter destruction and chaos.

“Jules?!”

I was still too torn between my stupor, my heartache, my rage, and my anxiety to react.

“You did this?”

I tried to shake myself out of it, to say something, but I only managed a few stuttered syllables.

“I… Lucan… I’m sorry, I… I just…”

“Amazing!” He interrupted me, suddenly grinning from ear to ear, to my utter surprise. “I had no idea you had it in you!”

He came to stand by my side, his eyes almost comically large as he surveyed the damage I had wrought on the equipment of his precious club.

“What…? But… I…”

“It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it, eh?” He said, playfully jabbed me with his elbow, making me flinch.

“That right there is a perfectly executed ‘Reducto’!” He gushed then, pointing at the tiny pile of dust I had reduced one of the massive, wooden constructs to.

“And how in Merlin’s name did you manage that?!” He ran over to another training dummy I had somehow managed to freeze high up against the wall in a solid block of ice after burning it to crisp mid-air.

“I don’t know!” I blurted out. The disgusting image of Sebastian snogging Clementine flashed before my eyes again, and I winced audibly. “I was… upset… I…”

Lucan snorted a laugh. “Upset she says…” He pondered for a moment before turning back to me with a mischievous grin.

“How about this: you and I clean this mess up and salvage what we can of my equipment. If we work together, we’ll be done before curfew, and I promise I won’t be mad about it. Scourgify.”

With a swish of his wand, dust, scorch marks, splinters, and puddles of melted ice vanished from the area I had wrought havoc upon, leaving only the remnants of the destroyed dummies. The one I had frozen against the wall fell to the floor, the impact reducing it to scorched splinters with an embarrassingly loud, reverberating noise.

It was enough to finally spur me into action, and I started to cast cleaning and repairing charms alongside my fellow Gryffindor third-year on whatever was left. In the end, Lucan and I managed to put six out of originally ten dummies back together again. As I was helping him store them safely in a barred area at the back of the clock tower hall, he said:

“You know, I've been thinking…”

Naturally, I expected the worst. “Uh oh…”

“Let me finish, you menace!”

I flinched again and pressed my lips together. Lucan only shook his head.

“Ye of little faith. So, I was thinking…” He paused, for a dramatical effect, no doubt. “… of inviting you to Crossed Wands.”

If my jaw hadn’t been attached to my head, it would have probably dropped to the floor.

“BUT…” He interrupted me before I could even so much as make a sound. “You need more training, first. Your spell work is great, but your aim is poor and the stance I walked in on definitely needs improvement as well. I can’t throw you into the ring like this, you’ll be decimated.”

“But… Lucan…”

“I'll help you. I trained with Hector, too, and if that dimwit can hold his own, it'll be a piece of cake for you, once I'm through with you. You've already got the aptitude.”

My heart was pounding in my chest. Was he serious?

“Lucan, Hector hates me. And the rest of the Club doesn't even know I exist…” I trail off, fighting off my tears once more, thinking of one member specifically, whose thoughts never so much as strayed my way.

“So?” Lucan's nonchalance couldn't have been more clear. “Crossed Wands is my Duelling Club. I founded it last year, I make the rules and what I say, goes.”

He gave the last dummy a hearty push, before locking the barred area up with a surprisingly strong 'Colloportus'.

“It's also invitation only, and the time and place for the next meet-up are always on a need-to-know-basis.” Lucan continued, his tone as cheery as if he was talking about the weather. “That means, if you show up with me vouching for you, you're one of us, end of story. I've seen what you can do. You're a wildcard, exactly what we need.”

My mind was running a mile a minute. Was this worth the risk? Lucan's offer did seem genuine, and hadn't I been aiming for this?

I had a dream, I dreamed it for you, Love.

Once more was I reminded for whom I had originally learned all of those spells for. It felt ridiculous now, wanting to impress Sebastian, painful even.

It wasn't for me, Love.

Would I even be able to hold my own in front of, let alone stomach, Sebastian presence after what I had involuntarily become a witness of earlier? I shuddered lightly at the thought of him showing up after all and bringing Clementine along. Ugh. I could still hear those sloppy noises they had made… and the laughter that had followed later.

“So… will Sebastian… be there, too?” I stammered, not quite sure how to express my discomfort.

Lucan made a grimace at that. “Not bloody likely. Hasn’t shown up in months, and I'm rather cross with him for that.”

I perked up at that. “How come?”

“Busy with classes, Quidditch and following Clover around like a lovesick puppy, I'd wager.”

My stomach lurched uncomfortably at that, and it must have shown in my face, because Lucan gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, I don’t like her, either. I've heard that she's constantly throwing herself into precarious situations that Sebastian keeps getting her out of. Pretty daft for a Ravenclaw, if you ask me.”

… and if it wasn't for me, then where does that leave all I could be?

I could help neither the snorted laugh that escaped me, nor the tears that started to stream down my cheeks. Lucan only watched on, still smiling at me, his mirthful eyes filled with understanding.

Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn? Don't I get a dream for myself? Starting now, it's gonna be my turn! Gangway, world, get off of my runway!

“You’ll show them.”

Starting now, I bat a thousand!

He said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And I will help you.” 

This time, boys, I'm taking the bows, and…

“They won't know what hit'em.”

…

Many months later, upon getting back into Lucan's good graces and re-entering Crossed Wands, Sebastian indeed wouldn't have the foggiest about what had hit him. Disarmed and with his backside frozen to the floor, he would find himself being stared down at by a willowy, smirking Hufflepuff, whose eyes were bluer and brighter than Clementine's had ever been.

Link to chapter 4

[galaxae]

if youre still doing the ocverse ask game, 3 and 19? 🥺

ougghhh i so totally still am. i'm mainly fixated on my stupid ass video game idea (working title is gods don't bleed but i want to change it bc it doesn't fit as well anymore)

forgive me if this is incoherent, my boyfriend dislocated his knee so i have to care for him, and work has been terrible and burned me out, so i'm definitely leaving some stuff out of my answers :(, but whatever!!

3.) any recurring images/elements?

absolutely yes. lots of imagery of plants and animals, for one. fire vs. ice too, yes i know it's a very commonly used trope but i like playing around with those two things, especially when i get to kinda subvert expectations with them. similarly with light vs. dark. and also colors vs black and white, both in terms of morality and in terms of actual visuals

19.) describe the sillies you think about but that dont go in the story.

in my mind, charity and fabian (the first two playable characters, and close friends) are exes. it's probably not going to be canonized, but it's also not going to be explicitly denied, so...

their first date was incredibly awkward, by the way. fabian was an ignorant rich kid who loved to pry and stick his nose in others' business and not let up until he knew everything about a situation, while charity was freshly in the "my mom and i were homeless, got taken in by a man, and then that man turned out to be very very bad so we had to flee the state and come to this small piece of shit town where no one realizes how privileged they are, and this all sucks, and i don't want to talk about it" mindset. they were also both 14-15 which is the worst age to be. they broke up so fast after this but now they've got a really solid friendship going a few years later, and charity has a different (cooler) partner

also, so many silly bits of dialogue that... i'm not sure they'll go into the game at all, or if they do, whether they'll just be optional bits. but some favorites include (formatted sorta like they would be in my script document):

KIMBERLY: Oh, hey, Fabián, you're in French 2 with me next semester. JAMAL: Wh... what? People actually take French? I thought that was a myth. FABIÁN: Well, I already know Spanish since everyone on my mom's side and, like, half of my dad's side speaks it. So I thought taking Spanish would be way too easy. CHARITY: You stupid son of a bitch. That's exactly why you should take Spanish.

ACE: Holy shit, I just got stung by a bee! FABIÁN: Are you ok??? Ace pulls the stinger out of their face ACE: LOOK! It's still pumping venom! That's so cool! CHARITY: What the fuck is wrong with you? ACE: What's wrong with you? Lookit!

JAMAL: Hey. Kimbie. KIMBERLY: Don't call me that, please. What is it? JAMAL: Spell ICUP. KIMBERLY: "ICUP?" JAMAL: Spell it. KIMBERLY: That's not a real word. Fake words don't have spellings. JAMAL: Can you at least try? KIMBERLY: Oh. Wait. I see. I-K-U-P. JAMAL: ... KIMBERLY: Does that suffice? Jamal looks as though he's about to cry. [Later that same day] JAMAL: Hey, uh, hey Kimbi-- Kimberly. Is it just me, or is your outfit kind of, uh, "updog?" KIMBERLY: What? JAMAL: Your outfit's kind of "updog." KIMBERLY: What does "updog" mean? JAMAL: ........Can you........... rephrase that, please? KIMBERLY: ? No. JAMAL: :/

also, there's a period of time when kimberly is in 9th grade where she gets really intensely into astrology. specifically so that she can Know A Lot About A Thing that other people don't know as much about. she'll see someone doing something, walk up to them and be like "what are you, an aries venus?" and when they don't understand the reference she'll be like "never mind :)" and feel smart. she no longer does this in the game because she realizes that's so cringe. and she has OTHER science to do, dammit!! (like proving the Weird Kid at school is a literal alien)

another fun fact: kimberly (resident genius) and jamal (who does not give a shit about academics) play chess together one time and jamal wins because kimberly is so perplexed by his newbie moves that she doesn't know how to respond to them.

oh... i didnt realize i had this many sillies... cool :)

yall are encouraged to send more asks if you want i love these blorbos

[illusinia]

An out-take of sorts from another piece I'm working on. Based on the idea of Hermione deciding to disappear out of the wizarding world by making everyone in Wizarding Britain forget who she is.

________________________

Shock. That had to be the reason she felt nothing as she stared at the image of her father printed in black and white, right above his obituary. Apparently, two years was enough time for her parents to establish a thriving dental business with patients and staff members who mourn their passing.

A chill settled through her body as she read on, tears pricking her eyes. It hadn’t been dark wizards or anything related to the magical world. No, a drunk driver had struck their car, killing her mother. Her father had lasted for six months before passing away as well. He’d passed away three months ago.

Tears tumbled down her cheeks. If Kingsley had just listened to her, this could have been avoided. If he’d just asked the Australian ministry to help her like she’d asked… She’d been looking for them when they were hit by the car. When her mother died. When her father’s grief consumed him. She’d been here, in the country looking for them. But she’d been too late. Two more people she couldn’t save, no matter how hard she’d tried.

The grief she’d been keeping at bay through her single-minded determination to find her parents broke over her. Crushing her beneath the guilt and weight. Tears choked her. Grief tightened her chest. Merlin, they were gone. Like Fred. Remus. Colin. Friends and teachers who had fallen to Voldimort’s insanity.

Tucked away in a corner of the Perth library, Hermione fell apart.

_______________________________

Sun shone overhead. It was strange- England was rarely sunny. The sun felt colder here compared to Australia, or maybe that was the task in front of her. She’d left before the funeral, but it hadn’t been hard to learn where Fred was buried. They’d created a special section of the major wizarding cemetery near Hogwarts for the victims of the war. A large monument stood at its center to the dead, with rows of graves surrounding it. Her eyes darted over the names of the dead, leaving a lily on each grave, adding a daffodil to the lily on the graves of her friends.

Fred’s grave was halfway down the first row (she’d started on the last), beside Remus and the gravemarkers that represented Sirius and James. She wasn’t sure whose idea that had been, but it was fitting for the marauders to be together. The idea that Fred was finally united with his idols was momentarily amusing. Her fingers brushed the grave.

“I’ll be back in a moment, Fred,” murmured Hermione, her fingers tightening over the remaining flowers. “Let me finish acknowledging the dead, then I’ll come back.”

Pulling herself away from the grave was hard, but she managed and finished placing her flowers on the remaining graves. There were two daffodils and one lily in her hands as she returned to Fred’s grave. She placed the remaining flowers on his grave before taking a seat beside his headstone.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for your funeral. I wanted to be, but I needed to find my parents. The longer the spell sat, the harder it would be to reverse. I thought I would be back in time.” Tears pricked her eyes. “Turns out, I was too late anyway. I could have come for your funeral and it wouldn’t have mattered. They died before I could find them.” She tilted her head, leaning it on the cool marble of the marker. “I brought them back. Mother needed to be buried with the family and I gave my father to his remaining family. The markers are still there though, so anyone who knew them can visit.”

She swallowed as tears began to drip from her eyes, throat tightening. “I’m so sorry, Fred. I couldn’t protect you and it took me far too long to realize I love you. I figured it out in the woods and I wanted to tell you so badly, but there was no time before the battle started and then we were collecting the last few horcruxs.” For a second she paused, biting her lip. “You should know I kissed Ron. In the Chamber of Secrets. It… it was nothing like kissing you. I already knew, before then, that I loved you. But that moment confirmed it to me. It was such a stark realization…” The tears fell faster. “I’m sorry I never got to tell you in person. That you- that you died before I could. I don’t know if you loved me, but I loved you. I’m sorry I was too late.”

The tears choked her again and she gave up trying to talk. She just leaned on the grave stone and cried.

Weasley’s Wizard Weezes seemed larger than she remembered. Then again, perhaps it was bigger. It had been almost two years since she’d stood in front of the Weasley brother’s joke shop. Before she went on the run with Harry and Ron for certain. Perhaps George had expanded the shop. She was certainly in no position to know. A lot can change in two years.

Children’s laughter poured into the street as Hermione opened the door. Inside, bright colors and shimmering lights filled the space. It was reassuring, this glimpse of normalcy. The horrors she had witnessed and suffered through helped ensure that these children could enjoy something as simple as the Weasley brothers’ pranks.

Looking towards the counter, she half expected to see Fred standing there entertaining a gaggle of children. As she laid eyes on the man behind the counter, it was possible to pretend for a moment that it really was Fred. The ruffled red hair, smattering of freckles, and mischievous glint to his eye… but then George turned his head, a gold ear glinting beneath the bright lights of the shop. That was new- he hadn’t had that the last time she had seen him.

A group of children were crowded around the counter, eyes riveted on George as he flashed a small object in the air before putting it on the counter. With a wave of his wand an a murmured spell, the little device popped into a good sized ball which shimmer brightly before it began to rise towards the ceiling. It popped a few feet above his audience, raining glitter on everyone. The children shrieked with glee.

Her heart ached. That particular device had been Fred’s idea; one of their first pranks. They’d set them off at Ginny’s birthday party when she was little. Molly had been cleaning up glitter for weeks, but Ginny had loved it. They’d tried to do the same for Ron, but he’d cried. They weren’t allowed to do things for Ron’s birthday after that, but Ginny always got a new surprise.

Pretending to examine a display of Daydream Charms, Hermione watched George pull out something that looked quite explosive. It was tiny- small enough to easily fit in a pocket and when George set it up on the counter, she couldn’t see it over his audience. She heard it a moment later though as it whistled into the air and exploded into almost full-sized fireworks against the ceiling above. Well, that was impressive. Not that she expected anything less from George.

“Hello, welcome to Weasley’s Wizard Weezes!” Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin, spinning sharply towards the voice that was practically on top of her. Ron grinned at her from the aisle, his hair neater than she’d ever seen it before. His clothes were nicer too, a far cry from the hand-me-downs he’d survived school in. What she couldn’t figure out was what he was doing in the joke shop. He’d been excited to become an Auror after the war. “Are you looking for anything in particular today?”

Hermione’s brain stumbled slightly as she realized he was working here. Likely taking Fred’s place in the shop. It made her chest ache, seeing such a blatant sign of Fred’s absence. “Er, no. Just browsing.”

Ron nodded, gesturing to the Daydream charms she had been pretending to examine. “Let me give you a little information on our Daydream charms.” As he began to spin through a sales pitch, Hermione carefully watched for any signs of recognition.

Since returning to England from Australia, she’d been avoiding any of the more heavily populated portions of Wizarding Britain. She hadn’t stepped foot in Diagon Alley and wasn’t planning to ever again. Her decision to erase all memory of herself from the British Wizarding World had been impulsive, as had the spell she’d cast. There was always the possibility of a loophole in the spell and Ron and Harry knew her well enough that there was a risk the spell wouldn’t work on them. As it was, the spell was somewhat tenuous. She couldn’t be certain how strong it actually was or how well it would hold up to strain. People on the street wouldn’t strain it, but too much time among people who knew her could. The magic used to cast it was instinctual- the first time she’d ever used magic instinctually really- and she didn’t know enough about it to be confident it wouldn’t collapse under stress.

She needed to get out of there. Or at least away from Ron.

As his speech wound down, she picked up one of the Daydream charms as if she was seriously considering purchasing one. Honestly, she might get one before she left if she could avoid George. They had someone she didn’t recognize on the cash register, so this would be her chance. It would also be a good excuse to get away from Ron before something went wrong with her spell.

“I think this will be perfect, thank you,” thanked Hermione as the door dinged. Glancing over, she watched Lavender walk in, the scars from Grayback displayed proudly. Her former roommate looked good for someone who suffered from lycanthropy. Not as tired as Remus had always appeared.

Ron offered her a soft smile before excusing himself. Hermione didn’t argue as she headed towards the register, placing the charm on the counter. She glanced back as the cashier rang her up, watching Ron give Lavender a quick kiss. She waited for the discomfort and jealousy she’d experienced before, but it never came. Instead, there was a sense of relief that Ron had found someone else.

As she passed by a moment later, she heard Lavender gushing about wedding flowers and pointing at a catalogue in her hands. Ron was smiling indulgently as she talked, nodding along. Idly, Hermione wondered if it was Ron and Lavender getting married or someone else. She would need to pick up a copy of the more recent Prophet before she left town. It would be her last opportunity to get one for a while.

Wind caught her hair as she stepped outside and she tightened her scarf against it before pulling up her hood. Her eyes passed over Hogwarts in the distance and she said a silent goodbye. Her time here had been full of joy and pain; she would never forget it. But it was time to move on and do what she should have 8 years ago: take up her family’s magic. The incident at the Ministry had highlighted to her how dangerous it was to remain willfully ignorant of something so intrinsic to her very existence. No, she would do precisely what her ancestors had done: leave the wizarding world behind and study the ancient magic that coursed through her veins. No one would ever remember who she was and that was precisely how it should be.

[leia-leek]

I’ve got a lot of thoughts about the state of minds of both the main leads in Love Like the Galaxy post the 5-years seperation. To avoid spoilers I’ve put them under the cut. ;)

HBY’s actions after the 5-year separation make a lot of sense to me based on his character in the drama (he is def different than the one in the novel). He is operating under 3 main issues.

He knows and understands CSS more now and doesn’t believe she will ever forgive him. Obviously, he wants to get back with her, has been since before he even left for those 5 years, but he also knows that it’s going to be nearly impossible for her to forgive him. He doesn’t expect it at all. You can see that when he tries to dismiss himself from CSS’s parents after the Empress’s death, but that scene also highlights the next issue, which is...

He is still pretty socially inept. It’s one of his flaws. While he does get better at it while dating CSS, it never really goes away. He has no idea what words to use or how to use them. This man doesn’t really have a filter, he usually says what he means and means what he says, but is smart enough to know when not to speak. His poetic, smooth flirts with CSS? Just him being honest and speaking from his heart. After the 5 years, when he doesn’t believe he can show his heart to her anymore, what can he say? He doesn’t believe he has the right to speak openly to her about his feelings. Mostly because...

He respects the hell out of CSS. One thing I love about HBY throughout the show is his respect for CSS. She tells him that she can’t trust him and give her heart to him anymore? Then he will bow out respectfully. He won’t pressure her. He may be devoted to her and will never love anyone else, but he won’t put his own feelings onto her. He did this when she was previously engaged so... 

That’s why we don’t see him beg. We might want to see him beg after what he did, but that doesn’t seem to be his character in the drama. We want to see him fight hard for her, and be relentless like we know he can be, but he has had 5 years to think of everything he has done and he’s mellowed out a bit. And he treats his relationship with CSS like he treats his heart and his heart is pretty bruised after the 5 years, so he absolutely has to be careful with it. Thus he holds back, much to the dismay of the viewers, me included.

As for CSS? I’ve seen a lot of people upset at her ice queen act. I’ve watched LLTG about a billion times now and I think I understand why she seems that way. Namely? She is fighting depression and grief hard. She states that HBY is her true love and the show has kinda hammered it hard that CSS is the type to love deeply. She mirrors HBY to a ridiculous degree. Some of her main issues throughout the show have been:

Her abandonment issues.

Her low self-esteem/self-image.

Her anger issues.

Learning to love and learning to forgive (she learned to love pre the 5-years seperation).

Her anger issues have always been very subtle but there are signs here and there. “Venting her anger” has been quoted a few times in the show. It makes sense that she is angry and it ties heavily with her abandonment issues. 

CSS states that she had to put down her anger issues during their seperation, so she no longer has that burning intensity that she used to have. It’s off-screen, which I think was a poor choice in storytelling but you can piece it together after a few re-watches (or if you’re really good at retaining info during your first watch). Like HBY, she has mellowed out or matured out of her anger, which means she doesn’t have that to fuel her. Her depression and sadness then take center stage. What about her other issues though?

When HBY abandons her or plans his murder/suicide while leaving her out of the loop, it rips open a wound that has never truly healed. Throughout the show, we can see that CSS is affection starved because of her parents leaving her with relatives that didn’t give a piss about her, or AKA abandoning her at her birth. It becomes an even larger wound when her mother comes home and gives her zero affection. And while CSS eventually gets the affection she needs from both the Empress and HBY, what she really needed was stability from someone showing her affection (which is why the Empress plays such an important role in CSS’s life). But that only comes with time. Her abandonment issues were something only time could heal (with continued assurances from someone CSS could rely on). In the show, she only had a year with her family before her wound was reopened.

5 years under the care and love of the Empress gave her that. She needed that time, to not only let go of her anger, or to rebuild her shattered self-image*, but to build up the assurance of stability. She also knew the Empress was sick, but it allowed her a semblance of a rock-solid foundation for a decent amount of time. 

*(She was going to be HBY’s wife, he -and the Empress ofc- gave her confidence, but the feeling of being not good enough was going to resurface when HBY did what he did. It was good that she found it again when she made a career for herself as the Palace Chief.)

So what was left? She matured, but her heart was still “dead” as per her words. Someone who is sad and depressed isn’t going to be very lively, which is why she seems like an ice queen. She isn’t being mean or emotionless, she is just in a place of deep sadness where other emotions have a hard time coming forward. When you’re that sad, you do become a bit numb to everything else as well. So to heal from that sadness, she had to come forth and return to the waking world outside the palace. And she was forced to with the Empress’s death and HBY’s return.

For CSS to move forward she needed to learn to forgive. And the start of that was with her family, her parents, the first people to abandon her. Not with HBY. That’s why the “move on” scene was both heartbreaking and needed. She wasn’t ready to forgive him, the timing was off, but she needed to hear him apologize first. She needed the assurance that he would be okay because she would always think of him but couldn’t be with him. With that, when her mother apologizes, tells her that they’ll never leave her again, and asks to give them a second chance, she could accept it (and you start to see her old troublemaker self come back with her asking her father which of 3 gave him the worst headache lol). She then has a shaky but possible new foundation. Her grandmother then apologizes (she overhears so it’s not direct) and CSS realizes she needs to focus on the people that love her. That scene parallels the one at the beginning where she says she needs to be more solitary and think of herself.

Now she is ready to hear and forgive HBY. (It’s why she ends her engagement talks with YS.)

CSS is still stubborn ofc, so it takes a death scare, but his words of regret reach her and they get back together. That’s when you start to see her thaw. You start to see her being happy again. Unfortunately this is where the 10-episode cut/edit really hurt the show. We only get 1 and 1/4 of an episode to see her come back to herself. We see her defend the village, then tease and smile with HBY, but we don’t fully get to see our old CSS return within such a short time. We can infer, that yes, she will be her old self soon enough (and even better), but we don’t see it on screen. That’s why I think a follow-up movie is needed tbh. 

But yes, it makes sense for her to seem so frigid after the 5 years because the focus was on her sadness/depression and her grief at being apart from her one true love. A lot of her other development happened within the time skip and left her with only a little bit more to go before she was fully developed. She needed that entire time to process a lot of things emotionally (and imo, something we needed to see on screen, the final episodes were poorly done sadly). Not so much for HBY, the poor boy, he probably pieced together his folly within a few months and the rest of the time he was just in a time-out for his bad behavior. 

[adamwatchesmovies]

Hereditary (2018)

Keen viewers will foresee the ending of Hereditary fairly early on. Having seen the film three times now, I’ve realized that's not a bug; it's a feature. The point is that you see the train coming but you can't move out of its way. With a superb performance by Toni Collette at its center, terrific, inventive cinematography and impeccable direction by Ari Aster (his feature-film debut), it's a joy to examine the filmmaking at work. It also happens to be horrifying.

Following the death of her estranged mother, Annie Graham (Toni Collette) attends a loss support group to try and cope. She’s been sleepwalking again and can't shake the feeling that something's... not right at home.

In class, Annie’s son, Peter (Alex Wolff) isn’t paying attention to his teacher's lesson, but he should be. The students are asked whether it’s more tragic for a hero to know they're doomed but be unable to change their fate, or be unaware of the misfortune awaiting them. This idea is what makes the ending of "Hereditary" work. There’s something about watching people slowly inching their way towards annihilation unsettling. With every passing second, you can feel the walls of their cage tightening. You’re an outsider, powerless to react and when the danger is as intense as it is in Hereditary, you’re glad to be nothing but an onlooker. In the most intense scenes, nothing could be more frightening than the characters turning towards you for help. Of course you would if you could. Annie, Steve (Gabriel Byrne), Peter and Charlie (Milly Shapiro) go through so much you don’t want them to suffer but your curiosity has also gotten the better of you. What’s coming will surely make your skin crawl and your hairs stand on end but you want to see just to be sure. Maybe things will go a different way. Or maybe they’ll go exactly how you expect they will.

Key images in the film fill me with dread just thinking about them. It makes me want to claw my eyes out so I don’t have to see them anymore, which makes me admire the filmmaking even more. The longer you look at this movie, the more things you notice. In many scenes there are symbols hidden in the background, there are things standing in the darkness, recurring images and foreshadowing telling you what’s incoming. It all ties back to that question posed to Peter. The more you see, the more you wonder whether you want the characters to know what you do or if you’d rather they stay ignorant of the doom that awaits them. The recurring theme of decapitation is on its own more than enough to give you the willies.

The performance by Toni Colette turns something you would normally passively watch into a reality you’re forced to confront. Her wails as she cries pierce your chest and wrap their fingers around your heart. Her panic as she pieces together what’s actually going on is palpable even if you don’t quite understand all of the “rules”. This film is quite good at giving you the minimum amount of information required and leaving the rest for your mind to fill in the blanks. If you're the king of person that won’t be able to sleep until you know everything that happened, don't worry. There are a few scenes that spell it out for you. Our lead is so good you’re likely to overlook how well everyone else does with their roles. Milly Shapiro, for instance. You’d never guess A) she was 15 at the time and B) that she’s a perfectly normal teenaged girl. Obviously they used prosthetics to make her look the way she does but she so subtly off you just don’t know what to make of her.

There are certain aspects of the film you could criticize. Hereditary is essentially a modern update on a couple of well-known horror films and a scene during the beginning makes it very easy for you to know this story’s final destination. This may detract from some of the fun but it certainly won’t take away the scares. In fact, it gets more intense, more terrifying upon rewatches because your eyes can focus less on what’s happening in the foreground and more on the stuff hidden in the margins. There’s a brilliant scene with a rolling ball every aspiring horror filmmaker needs to take note of. It's just one example of the many scenes ready to conjure up some recurring nightmares. (March 20, 2020)

[useyourtelescope]

yuletide 2023 recap!

This yuletide exchange was fun, though as usual I am still making my way through the collection (here's hoping this year I actually finish reading all the open tabs in Jan/Feb at least).

For my gift, I received a gorgeous fic for The Borgias - some Cesare/Lucrezia hurt/comfort post-season 3 with lots of my fave tropes, you can read that on ao3 here:

One Touch of Your Hand

I wrote five fics - 2 for Only Murders In the Building (Gen) & 1 each for Nancy Drew (Nancy/Ace), The Borgias (Cesare/Lucrezia) and Why Didn’t They Ask Evans (Frankie/Bobby). I did end up with 3 unfinished treats sitting in my drafts, 1 of which I wrote about 3k for, but it was probably wishful thinking that I might have completed them in time too. The published 5 are the most individual fics I’ve managed for Yuletide, or any exchange for that matter (though it’s about 1k short of the total words I’ve done for an exchange thanks to the long fics I wrote for Yuletide 2019). 

Summaries of the fics themselves and thoughts on writing them below the cut:

A Whole New Direction - OMITB, Charles & Mabel & Oliver, Banter Post S2, ~800 words [ao3 link]

"I know yesterday we said we’d kind of shot ourselves in the foot podcast-wise by limiting ourselves to the building only, never mind whose idea that was—“ “It was your idea,” Mabel and Oliver replied in unison. “But never mind! I thought of a way we could continue the podcast without betraying the original premise.”

I enjoy writing their banter so this was a fun quick one; the main section came easily, it was just trying to decide where I wanted to end it that took the most time.

Co-Location - OMITB, Gen (Charles & Mabel + some Oliver), Canon Divergence in S3, ~1k words [ao3 link]

Charles offers a solution to Mabel's apartment-hunting woes.

This is a bit more sentimental than the general vibe I go for with writing the show (though not as angsty and internal as the Will POV post-Oliver’s heart attack fic I wrote for the last exchange I did), but the idea lent that way and I had to follow. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to end this one either, but when my beta mentioned that perhaps next season in the show Charles might not be able to stay at his apartment after the latest murder and would have to go to Oliver’s, the image of all three of them having to sleepover together made me laugh so I had to work that in.

Got A Lot To Learn - Nancy Drew (TV 2019), Nancy/Ace, Post-Canon Fluff, ~1.7k words [ao3 link | tumblr post]

Nancy and Ace approach a minor relationship milestone soon after breaking the curse.

This was my assignment! My recipient wanted something in canon which gave me an excuse to return to the the idea of Nancy learning ASL for Ace/his dad, which I thought was really sweet when they mentioned it on the show but the timing of that reveal meant it was angsty and I wanted it in a cute scene. Still getting the hang of writing the characters/universe but hopefully I'll be able to play more with them later this year (maybe even with the unfinished ND treat I started, though Nancy/Ace was more background in that one).

Power Over Me - The Borgias (Showtime TV), Cesare/Lucrezia, Explicit, Modern AU - Alpha/Omga, ~15k words [ao3 link | tumblr post]

Cesare has always been protective of his sister. When she unexpectedly has her first heat he worries that he might need to protect her from himself.

This got a bit away from me lol! It's not a trope I expected to write but the recipient's prompt really clicked as Cesare/Lucrezia do have that intensity that lends itself to this type of AU. It was still supposed to be a 5-6k thing initially but then I got the idea of putting Cesare through it on his special shopping trip for Lucrezia lol and started to consider more about the character arcs and showing more of Lucrezia's side of things and it snowballed into a much longer piece. That meant I had to leave aside the other Ces/Lu fic I started writing as a treat for this Yuletide, but even though I think that'll be shorter the storyline is more complicated so this was probably the better one to pick to finish for a deadline and a fun experiment for me.

The Very Thought Of You - Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?, Frankie/Bobby, Mature, Love Letters & Reunions, ~6k words [ao3 link | tumblr post]

A few months into their marriage, Frankie has to return to Marchbolt without Bobby. Finding the telephone insufficient for maintaining their usual level of intimacy, she starts to write to him.

There was a note in the recipient's letter about how they show each other their affection and they prompted letters for another ship which gave me the idea of Frankie and Bobby writing to one another. I was originally going to mostly focus on their time apart and just see a little bit of them reuniting at the end but once they were together I wanted to spend more time with them in the same place and thought it made sense to follow through on some of those spicier letters with giving them a bit of alone time too so it became 6k rather than 3 lol, but most of it flowed quite easily. It was just the letters and some of the historical aspects I spent time rewriting, especially Bobby's letter since that's the emotional point of the fic.

All in all, I really liked all 5 I managed to complete, but probably going to take a little exchange break for a bit and write whatever is flowing easiest rather than trying to write for a deadline.