#leaving 'em i guess

[izzy-b-hands]

"You'll bond," Ed says. "Jack and I did this too, because we didn't get along one hundred percent right away, believe it or not."

"I tended your wounds after those fights," Izzy sighs. "Him and his habit of breaking full bottles of cheap beer to fight with. But only cheap beers."

"I didn't think I could like him any less," Stede remarks dryly.

"Here we are!"

Ed stops in front of a gate and gestures them inside after unlocking it.

Then, with a clang, he locks the gate again.

"Ed," Stede chuckles. "You're on the wrong side there!"

"No, I'm not," Ed chirps. "See that hedge maze in the distance?"

Izzy turns, and sure enough, there it is. Huge, wide, dark green hedges that seem to go on for miles.

"Oh Ed," Izzy can feel his blood pressure rising. "Ed no."

"Ed yes," Ed says softly. "Jack and I came out of that maze friends and more. We got out most of our little quirks with each other, and learned to accept them!"

"After a few hours in a maze?" Stede frowns.

"Oh," Ed laughs. "No, they have supplies and bathrooms in there; that maze takes at least a day to get to the center of, then out. One of the most challenging worldwide supposedly! I rented it out, so it'll be just you two!"

Stede blinks. "Would us going to therapy together not have been cheaper?"

"Actually, slightly more," Ed replies. "Because I did look into that. If we need to after, we can set that up. Let's try this first."

"What if something happens in there?" Izzy asks. "If we get hurt or sick or who fucking knows?"

"There are cameras I have access to," Ed replies, and points to a small grey building adjacent to the gate. "From that little cabin! So if need be, I can come in with the map and get you out. Or have the paramedics get you out, or whatever."

"You aren't going to let us out until we do this," Izzy says. "Okay."

He turns to the maze. "See you in a day then. Coming, Bonnet?"

He hears Stede fussing softly with Ed, then jogging to him.

"We'll be done by tonight," Stede says. "It's what, about one P.M. now? That's plenty of time."

--

"At least it's pretty," Stede sighs. "In here."

Izzy checks his watch. "It'll be dark soon."

"I know," Stede says, an edge of panic in his voice. "I wish we could reach Ed, check in at least."

Izzy pulls his phone from his pocket. "Reception isn't great, but we can try."

They wander a few more green halls, until the signal seems as strong as it will get.

It rings. And rings. And rings.

"Ed," Stede scolds softly.

"Mhm," Ed finally mumbles. "Hey, how goes it?"

"Are you eating?" Izzy asks.

"Ramen! Cabin is full of them," Ed replies. "Sorry, I put it down, I promise. Seriously though, everything good?"

"It's cold," Izzy says. "I'm hungry. And I'm old, so my fucking knees hurt."

"You aren't that old," Ed scolds.

"Fine then, I'm a spring chicken and my fucking knees hurt," Izzy rolls his eyes. "Ed, can we please end this now?"

"Since when do you give up so easily?" Ed asks. "Have you guys not even found the food and drink stations yet? They're all over!"

"Ed, there's been nothing," Stede says. "Wh-"

The call ends as the reception cuts out.

"Food and drink and bathrooms first," Izzy says, and turns back towards the previous length of the maze.

"What about sleeping?" Stede asks huffily. "I'm not sleeping on the ground."

"I'm sure sleeping on the public bathroom floor is always an option too," Izzy growls. He's done. Ed is chowing away, warm and happy, while they freeze and starve, and he has to listen to Stede bitch even more than usual.

"Slow down at least," Stede grumbles. "Wish we could just climb over these things."

They stop dead.

"Could we?" Stede continues. "After the bathroom of course, or-"

"Yeah, please stop talking about it until we get there."

"Ah, understood."

It's a break neck race around a few more halls before a grey building with floodlights emerges.

"He could have told us how far in here the first station was," Stede sighs as they leave the bathroom. "Shall we try climbing before we eat?"

Somehow, despite Stede being the taller one, Izzy winds up with Stede sat on his shoulders, scrambling at the twisted and entangled branches of the hedge.

"Any luck?" Izzy shouts up, trying to avoid suffocating whenever Stede squeezes his thighs around his neck.

"What does it sound like to you!?"

They tumble down in a heap, breathing hard.

"My turn," Izzy sighs as he stands. "Come on."

"What?" Stede wrinkles his nose. "No! We already know it doesn't work."

"I dealt with you damn near killing me a moment ago trying to get out, the least you can do is the same for me!"

Stede stands and stalks off towards the other side of the building, and Izzy fights the urge to tackle him as he follows. Behind that door is a painfully small set of chairs and non-perishable foodstuffs.

"Well," Stede says. "Food is food."

They tuck into the bags of mostly junk food quietly, not a word exchanged between them.

Until Izzy stands back up.

"Bathroom?" Stede asks. "Take a flashlight with, just in case."

"The door is maybe four steps away."

"And it's dark now!"

Stede holds out a small flashlight, pulled from the box in between their chairs.

Izzy yanks it out of his hand and heads outside. Past the bathroom, and down the next long hall of hedges.

--

"I just don't know, Ed," Stede sighs. "He and I are wonderful in bed together, but outside of it..."

"I'm telling you, let the maze do its thing," Ed's voice crackles as the reception to his phone flickers. "You'll both be surprised."

"We already nearly hurt and screamed at each other."

"And?" Ed snorts. "Everyone gets pissy and shouty in mazes. That's part of what they're designed to do, I think."

"To test relationships?" Stede scoffs. "Ed."

"Well obviously I don't have an academic source or anything on that but," Ed sighs. "Keep trying. I think you two just need something like this. I might be wrong. If I am, I'll own it. I'll hate it, but I will."

Stede chuckles. "I know you mean well. Okay, I'll keep trying. I'll go see if he's lost out there, since I'm sure he didn't turn on the flashlight I made him take."

"Good," Ed says, and Stede can hear his smile. "Get some sleep, then start fresh in the morning. That's how Jack and I did it."

"Alright. I love you, sleep well."

"Love you more, make sure Izzy actually sleeps!"

--

"Stupid fuckin' Bonnet," Izzy mutters as he follows the flashlight's thin beam on the ground. "Stupid fuckin' maze."

A snapping sound makes him jump, and he cringes at himself. There are woods outside the maze's fence, and surely plenty of nocturnal animals wandering them. But they can't get into the maze, and he can't get to the woods, so they have no reason to bother each other.

"Y'know Ed, I don't even hate him," Izzy continues aloud. "I think you think that. But I don't. He has his redeeming qualities. He's just irritating as fuck about them half the time. Even if he didn't know how to fuck me well enough to shut my brain down, there are a few other things that might make me want him still. But you don't trust me to even take the time to bond with him on my own, to let it take as long as it takes. No, instead we're doing this forced, reality showesque bullshit. It worked for you and Jack because you went in stoned and drunk with more to get you well through the maze and after! Who wouldn't have a good time then, even with someone they weren't getting along with entirely?"

The sound of his steps takes over the space, turning to squishing as rain pours down.

"I should have figured," Izzy sighs. "At least Bonnet is warm and safe. I'll find the way out, mark it somehow, then go back and drag him out."

--

Stede wanders the maze, hood of his jacket now flipped up to shield him from the rain.

"Israel, I swear when I get my hands on you," Stede grumbles, glaring down briefly at the mud all over his shoes. "I should have known better. Of course he'd pull some shit like this!"

Thunder echoes, and he can't help but shake.

"Keep trying," he sighs. "For Ed's sake at least."

His jacket is thin, and essentially useless after another ten minutes.

"He'd better be ready to fucking cuddle," Stede mutters. "Out here freezing my ass off for him. That is the least he can do!"

--

Izzy pushes at the hedge. "No, I already ran into this one. So I need to go back-"

He turns and stares down the pitch black hedge lined hall. His flashlight, cheap by texture of the plastic alone, had died quickly.

"Fuck," he sighs and drops to the grass. "Screw it; I've slept in worse places."

He snuggles into his coat, grateful for the borrowed hoodie from Ed that's underneath.

--

"Izzy, this isn't funny!" Stede calls into the dark. "Either follow my voice, or shout so I can follow yours!"

Nothing but the whipping of the wind, the clatter of the rain drops on his hood, and another clap of thunder.

"Fuck this," he shouts into the wind, and walks down another length of maze until there's the lee side of a hedge to huddle into.

"If I die out here Israel, I swear-"

--

Ed stares at his phone and wills it to ring.

A notification beeps and he nearly drops it trying to view it.

Not a text. Just a reminder to send in the mortgage payment.

"They're probably fine," he says aloud, despite the rain falling hard enough against the cabin's metal roof to sound like bullets. "They were going to stay inside for the night."

He peers out of the small front window into the darkness, as if he could somehow see them from the front of the maze.

"Shit," Ed mutters as he rushes to shrug on his sweatshirt and coat.

--

His joints hurt. Then again, everything hurts since he slept on the literal fucking ground.

Izzy sniffles and stands and tries to resist the urge to shake a little bit dry like a dog. It probably wouldn't do much, but it would be satisfying.

Instead he stumbles back out to another hedge lined hall, then down another, and another and-

The way out. A way out, at least. No, he didn't find the center like they're supposed to first, but he's not staying in here any longer.

Izzy looks back. No Stede. Maybe he's already out?

"Fuck," Izzy mutters. "Fucking Bonnet."

He turns, only to smack directly into Stede.

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" Stede shouts. "This is what I get for going out to save you-"

"I didn't need saving, if anyone did, you-"

Their phones ping with a text notification.

A group chat with Ed, and one message:

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO

"Mhm," Izzy sighs. "I think we fucked up."

"I think we did. Shall we go rescue Ed?"

"So he can kill us? Absolutely."

--

"First, I'll make sure they're clean and warm and fed," Ed fumes. "Then, I'm killing them."

His shoes are covered in mud, his clothes soaked through, and the map so wet the ink running as to make it useless.

And he hasn't done this maze in years.

"Maybe we should have started with the couple's therapy," he moans to himself and drops to the grass. "Fuck it. They tell kids to stay in one place while lost, right? What is an adult but a really tall child with bills?"

--

"Just call him," Stede sighs. "I know, it means-"

"An entire afternoon and night with Jack," Izzy interrupts. "I can't drink like that anymore."

"Me neither, but what other option do we have? We're lost, Ed might be lost too, and you said Jack has an excellent memory for things like this-"

"Fine," Izzy mutters as he fusses with his phone. "Jack?"

The sound of hair metal bashes them in the face from the phone's speaker, and Izzy rushes to put it on speaker instead.

"Izzy! Iz! The Iz Man!"

"Oh sweet christ-" Stede groans.

"Let him finish."

"Uhhh. Fuck, that's all I got today, Iz. How goes it?" Jack asks.

"Bad," Stede replies, leaning in towards the phone slightly. "We're lost, and Ed too, in the maze you and h-"

"That bad boy? Y'all should have invited me! We could have speed ran it!"

"Yeah, next time," Izzy says. "Jack, we need a favour. For you to come here, find us, help us find Ed, and get out."

"Aww," Jack chuckles. "I would love to. But I'm in Tampa."

"Why?" Izzy and Stede ask in one confused and disgusted voice.

"Why not? Beer, babes, boys, beach, uh...hang on I gotta think of a food that starts with B, one second-"

"Baked goods?" Stede suggests and Izzy snorts.

"Uh. Sure, man," Jack hesitates. "Anyway, I'm stuck here. Also, too drunk to be allowed on a plane. With Spirit at least, and that's all I fly, baby."

"Why would we care about-" Stede groans and looks to the sky, seemingly for a caring or uncaring god. "Okay. Thank you for picking up, Jack. We appreciate it."

"Good luck on finding your lost love," Jack burps. "Sorry, we got-brats! That's what we're grilling up here, fuck yeah!"

Izzy ends the call. "Well."

"Mhm."

"Maybe we'll be fine on our own."

--

"Fuckin'," Ed grumbles. "Come on! Don't-agh."

With his last turn on the mobile game, his phone battery finally dies.

"Damn," he sighs deeply and leans into the hedge he's laid up against. "Hedge, we're really in it now. You know that meme?"

The hedge says nothing.

"That's fair, you guys can't use the internet," Ed replies. "I think maybe I actually hate this maze. I thought I loved it! With Jack, I did..."

"Oh. Different things to love, with all the different people you love."

He glares at his dead phone. "Wish I could record that sappy shit in my Notes, but SOMEONE can't handle a few rounds of Candy Crush."

--

"I know that sound," Stede hisses. "That's Ed! Either his phone died, or he lost at Candy Crush."

"Those two do sound similar," Izzy says. "We're close then. Wait. If we're so close-ED!"

They run, up and down hedge lined halls until-

Ed. On the ground, leaned up on a hedge.

"Oh god," Stede breathes as they rush over and kneel by him. "Ed, we're so sorry-"

"I can carry him out," Izzy interjects. "You call an ambulance."

"What for?" Ed's eyes open. "I was resting my eyes. Are you guys hurt?"

"No!" Stede shouts and stands. "Why were you laying here like fucking lightning hit you?"

"I'm tired from searching for you two!"

"Well, we didn't ASK you to-"

"I think I understand now," Izzy interrupts softly, laying by Ed. "Why Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining let himself freeze to death in that maze. You can't come back from an experience like that. We belong to the maze now."

Stede sighs and flops down by Ed's other side. "How long until someone else comes to use the maze?"

"I gave you guys two days, so we have all day today."

"Think they'd deliver a pizza to the maze?"

Ed snuggles them close as Izzy pulls out his phone yet again. "Let's find out."

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))

My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can

and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I just think it'd be very funny if Spock heard from other Vulcans all his life that his dick was weird and ABSURDLY huge and Kirk somehow hears about it (maybe because Spock is a living legend this information is semi-public rumor in a lot of Vulcan spaces?) and in his mind is like "...how absurdly huge? 👀" Years pass and finally they're together about to have sex but before that Spock pauses and they have a conversation about how much Spock thinks Kirk's going to be disgusted by his enormous dick and he DOESN'T have to put it inside him if it'll hurt him etc etc and Kirk's like Spock no matter what we end up doing vis a vis sex, I love you and the huge size of your gigantic dick isn't going to change that and then Spock prepares himself to finally show a partner what has caused him such shame his whole life and it's like the average size of a Human penis. Very slightly bigger, maybe. And as Kirk's staring at it a thought bubble appears over his head like....how big is an average VULCAN penis???????? which he maybe should have figured out first. End scene.

[clairaworlds]

Anyone got any recs for media like this

please I'm DESPRATE.

[somegrumpynerd]

I need more stuff of people seeing Killer with his cats for the first time. Like just, meeting him in any situation and he's so weird, he's got a long history of murder and he's dripping ooze constantly and he loves to be creepy and annoy people. And then one day walking in on the same guy holding a little cat up like a baby, kissing it's little head and being so gentle with it. I need more people to get the whiplash from that

[rebouks]

How do you plan out your stories? Do you come up with what will happen ahead of time or do you just go with whatever your sims are doing?

uhmmm.. i don't 😆

i've recently fully planned and written a short story ahead of time and it's reminded me why i don't do it.. like the outline is fun to do and i know the end result will be too, but the in between stuff seems to take foreverrrr and i kinda get bored and hate it lmao i prefer short bursts of planning and executing so like rn i have this lil camping trip then i think Robin will go back to school (i only have basic notes on this tho) then it'll be my Halloween special then a surprise! (again not even basic notes on this one skdjskj) then who knows 🤷‍♀️

i usually have a rough idea where i'm going and how character growth will go over time but how we're gonna get there i've no idea! i don't plan ahead very far at all and even when i do it's basic notes or brain rot ideas/scenes.. most of what i come up with is just me playing dolls in my head 🤸‍♀️

[starbuck]

fun trick your shitty managers don’t want you to know: instead of saying “this project was a shitshow because no one listened to me” in your cover letter, you can say “this project gave me valuable experience working with stakeholders with diverse perspectives” 😇😇

[ladylooch]

We need a blurb of Emma and timo

Haha

That sounds soooo sweet

The first thought in my brain when I step onto the rubber mats at Met Life Stadium is I wish Lexi was here.

I have my dad, but it doesn't feel the same because he isn't a WAG. When the media members take pictures of him, it's as Nico's dad. This is the first event where for me, it won't be only as Nico's sister. It will be as Timo's girlfriend too.

Nico and Timo are together across the ice, joking around with Alex Holtz when I get to the bench. My skates are tight because my dad tied them for me and they hurt a little bit. I know how to skate. Not extremely well, but Timo won't need to hold me up the entire time, which I realize now as I step on to the ice, and he frantically rushes over to me, he probably doesn't know.

"Do you need help?" He asks.

"No." I chuckle, but grab his hand anyway. He carefully pulls me into his body, putting a gloved hand on my hip. He leans down to kiss me, red nose creating a contrast on my still warm cheek. "Hi."

"Hi."

"Are you having fun?" In the glimpses I saw of practice, I don't think I saw Timo or Nico without a smile on their faces.

"I am. Glad you are here now." He murmurs. He kisses me again, longer this time, more deliberate. His hand roams over the baby on top of my jacket. I am 17 weeks today. Timo leans down and presses a kiss there. My cheeks turn pink and I look around, seeing a few people watching us. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just nervous."

"That's okay." Timo smiles, then pulls me into his side. "Me and you and baby against the world, yeah?"

"Yeah." I say into his side.

"Look at me, Em." Timo asks softly. I tilt my chin up, squinting up at him against the stadium lights. "I love you. I'm so glad you're here. I never got to share these things with anyone before." I smile back at him, nodding in agreement. I'm so grateful I get to have these moments with him and no one else. That helps put everything into perspective for me. Who cares what they say? Who cares what social media says?

I'm here with Timo and our baby is healthy and what else matters besides that?

[berryblu-soda]

answering the question of ´why dont aliens visit us´ in my oc world with BECAUSE THEYRE HELLA SCARED-

imagine looking at your neighbours and theyre either arguing with each other, being ravaged by the rot, or arguing over who gets to use the one light bulb they have (keeps the rot at bay) (no one has it; they broke it...) (found a replacement and broke that too) (it did give enough light for everyone)

[zombiepatch]

watching vids of people showing their commonplace journals / general journals and suddenly being hit with an intense wave of sadness because my life feels so dull and pathetic 😭 it's not even over anything major either it's just like... "i threw in some pics i took w/ my friend on this page" and i go... fuuuuck

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

Guessing game: what kind of person am I based on these books

[marswasnothere]

I think the youtube "soooo sorry if im butchering skewering and kebabbing this pronunciation 🤪" thing used to be a funny thing years ago, as a sort of funny counter point to just pronouncing a foreign word wrong and leaving it be, but now, and for a very long time, has just become so so annoying and shorthand for "this guy didn't bother to check how to say this word in a video explaining everything about this word" or "this guy doesn't know anyone from [country] to teach him how to say words in [country]'s language"

Also when they make a bit out of "WoAh I cAnT pRoNoUnCe ThIs, BeTtEr LoOk It Up On GoOgLe AnD mAkE a FuNnY sKiT oF mE bEiNg CoNfUsEd AnD sTuPiD AmErIcAn!!" I hate you i hate you a thousand curses upon you and your mother ffffffffuck off

[indilaras]

They're allowed to be cute and happy. As a treat <3

ID: A drawing of Ayla and Selena from Punishing Gray Raven. They are holding hands and looking at each other with smiles on their faces.

[just-spacetrash]

😰

[deep-spacediver577]

Casual supervised visitation between Elmer and Nickie

[flygonscales]

Animorphs has truly changed me as a person.

For example, on watching despicable me 4 today, I thought that the fight against the cockroach based villain would be made better and cooler by having at least one leg come off, in a gooey kinda way.

I have been desensitised to insect violence it seems.