#least math preferred obviously i mean look at me

[tennessoui]

halfway (ish) through this project for work and ~little desperate because it’s late: what are some creative fun ways to measure something by or distance between two things? 

for example, i’ve got: measurement by hamster (bless obikin discord for this), banana, blue whale, coffee mug (amy rules) vinyl album, big mac

length of soccer(football) pitch, length of san francisco golden gate bridge, length of london bridge (all of these generated by a step converter), length of distance between the shire and lonely mountain.......

pls help i have like. 25 more to go and im desperate :(

[zooweemamacita]

Currently Untitled PJ/Hazel Fic

Okay listen. This will be posted on AO3 when my account gets accepted but for now... here it lies. PJ/Hazel is main with background Isabel/Josie and the other fight club girlies

*disclaimer: this is not beta'd, nor have I ever written a fic in my life. I was inspired after the movie.

"PJ realizes that Hazel is sexy and cool and really really wants to kiss her again. Or get all up in her cooch. Either or, but preferably both."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1

Hazel still couldn't believe it. PJ had kissed her. Willingly. Not for a joke—for a distraction, at least, but not a joke. It was two days ago, already, but Hazel was over the moon. Over the stars… in the crab nebula, floating around and leaving a little trail of hearts everywhere. 

She couldn't stop thinking about how PJ gasped when Hazel gripped the back of her head, tilting her face to get a better angle���. 

“Hey! Loser! Is that your brain I see leaking out of your ears? Are you even listening to me?” PJ’s voice broke her out of her reverie. 

“No.. sorry. I was thinking about…” Hazel scrambled for an answer that wasn't ‘our magnificent kiss.’

“Our magnificent kiss?” Shit. 

PJ frowned, offended. Shit shit shit. 

“Magnificent? I would say it was at least life-changing. World-ending? Did I not rock your old grandpa style argyle socks off?” 

Hazel thumped her head on the lunch table. Why? Was Jeff sleeping with her mom not enough punishment? God, what did I do to deserve this? Is this about the bombs? she silently pleaded to the table. 

PJ took her non-answer as a yes, you did, thank you very much. She was proud of herself. I mean, it was Hazel Callahan, but even getting a nerd to like you was pretty satisfying. She was feeling it.

“Hey, are you gonna eat your sandwich?” Sylvie asked. Hazel silently slid it over, not looking up. Sylvie tore into it immediately, probably imagining it was her stepdad’s neck or something.

“Haaaazellllll” PJ singsonged. “I know you wanna kiiiiiiissss meeeeeee againnnnnnn.” Not that PJ wanted to kiss Hazel again, it was just fun to tease her. Right? She didn't wanna kiss Hazel again… right?

Hazel groaned, thunking her head again on the table. PJ shrugged and stole her mini bag of Doritos. Cool ranch? What the fuck is wrong with Hazel? Nacho cheese is the best flavor, obviously. PJ ate them anyway. 

She weighed the pros and cons while munching, eyes roaming over Hazel’s dark hair and button up.

Pro: Hazel was a surprisingly good kisser. For a nerd. 

Con: Hazel was a nerd. 

Pro: She wasn’t exactly swimming in cooch right now, even though they did kill a bunch of football players. Whatever. Maybe she could practice with Hazel before someone else realizes how cool and hot she is and then she’ll rock her world. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. God, PJ, you're a genius, she congratulated herself. 

Con: She couldn't think of another one. 

Good enough for PJ. 

Now, getting Hazel to kiss her again miiiight be tricky. Should PJ invite her out? Invite her over for math help, because she actually needed it and Hazel was seriously good at math? 

She needed Josie for this. Scheming on her own made PJ feel like the unibomber. 

Hazel was the real unibomber here. Like, where did she even learn to make bombs? And why was it kinda sexy? Wait, sexy? Hazel Callahan? Nononono. PJ shook her head, literally shaking the thought from her brain. 

Hazel nerd. Hazel not sexy, she scolded herself. Fuck. She needed to talk to Josie, like yesterday. 

“Alright losers,” PJ stood abruptly. “This has been fun, but I gotta go see my number one.” 

Hazel lifted her head. 

“Hey, that rhymed, PJ! See you in class, you have a really nice ass!” Hazel said cheerily. She loves rhyming. Everyone at the table stopped talking and looked at her. 

“Riiiiight,” PJ said. “Thanks for noticing, I guess. Glad someone appreciates a good thing when they see it.” She said the last part to the rest of the cafeteria, loudly. No one noticed. 

Hazel realized what she said and the blood drained from her face. PJ smirked and wiggled her fingers, then turned away. The thump of Hazel’s head was so loud Teddy came over and told her not to break his table.

~

‘Step 1: get Hazel to kiss her again, and be completely obsessed with her

Step 2: ??????’

PJ aggressively drew the question marks in her notebook. Josie, who had never seen PJ do homework with such enthusiasm, was instantly suspicious. 

“Whatcha doin’ over there?” Josie asked from her desk. PJ was on her bed, splayed out like it was hers. If Josie tried to get her to scooch over, it would turn from a slapping fight into a shoving fight until one of them pulled hair and had to apologize. It was their way. 

Josie stayed at the desk. 

“Nothing” PJ said quickly, and turned the page. Too quickly. Now Josie was really suspicious. 

“Lemme see,” Josie said, getting up and snatching the notebook before PJ could protest. 

“HEY!” PJ yelled, but Josie jumped on the bed and bounced so PJ couldn't get up. PJ was yelling unintelligibly when Josie finally read what PJ wrote, jumping back down and out of breath. 

“You should really work out more, you're dating a cheerleader. I bet Isabel’s stamina is wayyyyyyy better than yours,” PJ tried, desperately trying to distract Josie from her list. Fuck. Never leave a paper trail. Forensic Files taught her that.

“Wait,” Josie said. She looked at the list, then back at PJ, and back at the list and back at PJ and-

“OKAY FINE! So the nerd can kiss. Who knew??” PJ said, throwing her arms up and flopping back down on the bed. 

“Wait- just so I’m getting this right. You want to kiss Hazel. Again. Like, willingly?” Josie confirmed. Was this happening? Is this bizarro world, did the earth go cube shaped?? What was happening?

“Jooosieeeeeeeeee” PJ whined. “I need your help. I do not need your judgement. Though, yes, it is well-deserved, I can see that.”

“But Josie,” PJ sat up, “You don't even know. Like, my cooter was soaked. Okay? Its been so neglected, its like the Sahara desert down there. Seriously.” 

“You know, Sahara means desert already. You don’t have to say Sahara Desert, it’s like saying ‘Desert Desert’ which is, ridiculous—“ Josie started, but was cut off.

“Fuck the desert! A nerd made me wet, Josie. I’m freaking out! And the worst part? I want her to do it again.” And again, and again, but that was beside the point. Josie didn't need to know that PJ rubbed one out before coming over, thinking about Hazel’s hands, her capable hands, sliding down her body, up her leg, up her inner thigh… PJ shivered.

“Ohmygod. Are you thinking about it right now? You're disgusting, dude!” Josie yelled. 

“What? It was HOT, OKAY??” PJ yelled back. Fuck, Josie knew she wasn't getting any. Sue her if she was obsessing over the hottest thing that had happened to her, like, ever. 

“Josie, if you're not gonna help me, I will be forced to use an alternate. Okay? Do you want me and Sylvie to have to plan this?? Someone would end up dead.” 

PJ might be right about that, but it doesn’t make it any less weird. They’d known Hazel forever. She was like a little fly that hung around, buzzing in their ears. But a sexy fly? Josie couldn't see it. 

“Okay, I get the kissing part. You wanna kiss her again, okay. But what’s with the obsession? You want Hazel to make dolls out of hair she cuts off you while you're sleeping?” Josie said.

PJ twirled her hair around her finger. Did she want that? It would be kind of sexy, to have the tables turned for once, to be the obsessee instead of the obsessed. She watched Misery and it really turned her on, for some reason. She’ll unpack that later. 

Josie shook her head and muttered to herself. What the fuck was happening? 

“Okay, PJ, look. I’m pretty sure Hazel already likes you, so you don’t have to do much. Why don't you, like, ask her to get a milkshake?” Josie offered. 

“A milkshake? What is this, 1957? Jesus, Josie, I want her to kiss me, not invite me to the fucking sock-hop! Help me!” PJ begged. 

Josie mimed putting a hat on. 

“Let me put on my thinking cap,” Josie said. 

“Lo-ser..” PJ muttered. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” 

“That’s what I thought. Now, to get the girl, you must understand the girl. Play to her strengths, make her feel sexy, make her feel wanted,” Josie started pacing while PJ aggressively took notes. 

CHAPTER 2

Last night PJ and Josie had come up with a plan. 

PJ will seduce Hazel. Compliment her, feel her biceps or something, make her laugh. Easy-peasy. Hazel’s been laughing at PJ’s jokes for years. It was kind of nice, actually. Hazel’s laugh always burst out of her, like she was surprised it was happening. Cute, PJ thought. She wanted to see if she could do it again. 

“Okay, you know the plan?” Josie whispered as they walked to their lockers. Hazel’s was two down from PJ’s, it was the perfect spot. 

“Tell her she looks good today. Look up at her through your lashes, fuckin’ tell her she’s so cool for blowing up the tree, can she teach you how to do it? type shit. You can do it, easy. Maybe touch her arm.” 

PJ took a deep breath. “I can do this. No problem. Hazel will quiver at my feet.”

“Gross.” Josie said. 

PJ was kind of nervous. What if she looked stupid? Would Hazel even be receptive to her flirting? Get your head in the game, PJ told herself in Corbin Bleu’s voice. She technically was the Troy of this story, now she just had to bag her Gabriella. But PJ draws the line at serenading. 

Josie elbowed her. “Target at twelve o’clock. I repeat, target at twelve—“

“Jesus Christ— Fuck, ow, Josie! Your elbows are sharp!” PJ complained.

“You got this, bro. Remember the plan, I’ll see you in class.” Josie saluted her, then turned and made her way to Isabel’s locker. She gave her one more thumbs up before she turned the corner.

It’s go time. 

PJ opened her locker, eyeing Hazel. She couldn't remember what book to grab, whatever. She slammed it shut, startling Hazel.

“Hey,” PJ said smoothly. “Come here often?”

“…to my locker?” Hazel questioned. “You see me here everyday.”

Fuck. She had to try something else. 

“I like your shirt.” PJ said, because she actually did, for once. It was a gray button up, short sleeves, with a faint checkered pattern. It really brought out the color of Hazel’s eyes. And she was wearing her usual chain. 

PJ wanted to pull Hazel in by that stupid chain and kiss her stupid confused mouth. 

Hazel, squinted, looking at PJ up and down. “Are you feeling okay? Do you have a fever?”

Hazel put the back of her hand on PJ’s forehead, checking her temperature. PJ smacked her hand away. 

“No, Hazel, I don't have a fever. Jesus.”

“Are you sure? I have some ibuprofen in my locker if you need it. Your face is looking a little flushed, maybe you should take one just in case—“ 

PJ groaned, about to give up. Could she even give a compliment correctly? This was seriously damaging her ego. 

“Hazel, I’m serious. I like your shirt,” PJ tried again. She reached up and straightened Hazel’s collar a little. Smoothed her hands across her shoulders. 

Hazel, meanwhile, stilled. Now she was really concerned. PJ was never this nice to her. 

“Hey, I can be nice!” PJ protested.

Shit, did I say that out loud? Hazel thought.

“Yeah, you did, you weirdo. Weirdo in a cute shirt. With your artfully tousled weirdo hair and your weirdly capable hands,” PJ continued.

“My—my what?” Hazel was lost. Hazel was on another planet. Was this really happening? Hazel looked at her hands. Two rings, skinny fingers.. capable? Did PJ like looking at her hands?

“Fuck. So, I’m gonna go.. and I’ll see you later? Yeah, see you later, loser! Just kidding. Okay. Shit. Bye,” PJ ran away, leaving Hazel there, still staring at her hands.

PJ liked her hands? 

~

“Mayday. Mayday. Red alert.” PJ said as she slid into her desk, panting hard, right next to Josie. 

“Did you run here? What could possibly have gone wrong, PJ? I mean, you just had to compliment her. How hard can that be?” Josie said, throwing her hands up. This was going to be a lot more difficult than she expected. 

“I told her she had nice hands! Like a weirdo! and I fixed her collar and said I liked her shirt, and-and—she asked if I was okay! Like, what, I can't be nice all of a sudden? Without there being something wrong with me?” words spilled out of PJ faster and faster.  

“PJ, chill! Also, yes, it is weird for you to be suddenly nice. I didn’t think about that… we might have to try a different approach.” Josie considered. 

“I might have to call in an expert,” Josie started.

PJ interrupted, “No. No. Don't tell Isabel. No. It’s too embarrassing. Hard pass.” 

“I’m gonna ask Isabel,” Josie said at the same time. 

The bell rang, cutting them both off.

“We’ll continue this at lunch,” Josie said, “And consult the experts. They'll know what to do.”

~

Hazel was floating through class. Her head felt bigger after PJ’s compliment, her feet weren't touching the ground. Her hands? Hazel never thought hands could be sexy, but.. she was learning all sorts of new things this year. 

Her chest burned with warmth all morning. 

She kept catching herself grinning, thinking about PJ’s odd (yet oddly charming) way of complimenting her. Even Mr. G noticed, and told her to stop smiling at nothing cause it was  ‘freakin’ him the fuck out and he didn’t wanna have to call a priest again.’

Maybe getting PJ to kiss her again would be easier than she thought. 

Now she just had to come up with a plan…

~

Hazel dropped her stuff on the lunch table in front of Annie. 

“I need your help,” Hazel said. 

“Hazel, no, I won’t steal anything from the chemistry lab again. Mrs. Roswell is already suspicious of me!” Annie exclaimed.

“What? No- Annie, no, it’s about something else. It’s about,” Hazel got really close, looked around carefully, and whispered, “PJ.”

“Why are you whispering? Did she say some other shit to you? This girl… I’m not gonna let her talk to you like that again—“ Annie started getting up.

“NO! Annie, listen to me,” Hazel pleaded, pulling her back down. 

“I need— I need your help withgettingPJtokissmeagain.” Rushed out of Hazel’s mouth. 

“What?” Annie couldn't understand that last part. 

“With getting..” Hazel groaned, putting her hands over her face. 

“With getting PJ to kiss me again,” she said carefully, refusing to remove her hands.

“PJ? Are you sure you wanna kiss PJ again?” Annie said, disbelief coloring her voice. 

“Yes,” Hazel said, peeking out from her hands. 

Annie considered, thinking about it for a second, but seeing that Hazel was serious she relented, and decided to help her.

“Sure, fine, whatever. You can do better than PJ, though. Date someone actually nice?” Annie tried.

Hazel shook her head. “Mm-mm. She’s the one. I’m sure of it.” 

“Ooo-kay,” Annie said, pulling a notebook out of her backpack. “Let’s get you some PJ.”

[waitineedaname]

Teru and Shigeo were not studying much during their study date. They probably should be studying. High school math was a nightmare that Shigeo could not have been less prepared for, and he knew Teru’s history scores could use some work. In their defense, they had started out their study date with actual studying. Shigeo managed to graph a whole page of rational functions, and Teru had made a stack of flashcards for at least half a chapter of notes. But then Teru had insisted on showing Shigeo a cat video on Instagram as a break, and then one cat video turned into ten, and then somehow they’d ended up where they were now, which was horizontal on the couch, Teru’s head pillowed on Shigeo’s chest. Teru was scrolling through memes, occasionally tilting the screen to show Shigeo particularly good ones, and Shigeo was playing with Teru’s hair, perfectly content. 

He was very easily distracted by Teru’s hair. It was just so soft between his fingers; Teru obviously took great care to make sure bleaching it didn’t do too much damage. Speaking of, dark roots were beginning to peek through on Teru’s scalp. Shigeo wondered if he’d be called over to assist with bleaching it again, or maybe Teru would go to a salon and ask a professional to do it. It was getting long these days, and Shigeo certainly couldn’t be trusted to do a good job trimming it. Privately, he hoped Teru wouldn’t cut it. Teru looked so nice with longer hair, and cutting it short would mean Shigeo could play with it less. 

Shigeo had gotten so distracted thinking about Teru’s hair that he hadn’t noticed that Teru had gone very quiet and very still, and had been for a while now. The phone screen was dark in Teru’s hand. “Teruki?” Shigeo asked, voice soft. He tucked a piece of hair back from Teru’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine.” Teru sighed and burrowed further into Shigeo’s chest. “Just thinking about something.” Shigeo hummed softly and didn’t press it. He understood the need to think things through silently before putting them into words. He continued to brush his fingers through Teru’s hair, and after a few minutes, his patience paid off. “Shigeo…” Teru broke the silence, sounding oddly nervous. “Would you… still like me if I was a girl?”

Shigeo blinked. That was an odd question, but not one he had to think about for very long. “I have plenty of friends who are girls. Of course I would still like you. It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Good, because,” Teru took a deep breath, “I am one.”

“You are?” Shigeo was surprised, then a little confused. “But… I’ve seen you without your clothes…”

Teru barked a laugh and then groaned into Shigeo’s chest, as if trying to hide in the folds of Shigeo’s sweater. “God, don’t remind me… No, Shigeo, what I’m trying to tell you is-” Teru gave up on hiding and sat up, looking Shigeo in the eyes for the first time in a while, “I’m transgender.” Shigeo stared blankly. “You don’t know what that is, do you,” Teru said after a few moments of silence. Shigeo shook his head. “Okay. Well, it means identifying as a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth.”

“Oh. Oh!” Shigeo appreciated how patient Teru always was when explaining things to him. This conversation made much more sense now. “Okay. So you’re a girl?”

Teru went a little pink but nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Being a boy never felt quite right. It felt like a role I was performing, and it wasn’t a performance I particularly enjoyed. So I tried thinking of myself as a girl, and…” Teru huffed a soft, embarrassed laugh, “It felt really nice.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel nice, Teruki.” Shigeo paused, a thought occurring to him. ��Ah. Should I still call you Teruki? And should I use ‘she’ for you, since you’re a girl?”

“That would be really nice.” A pleased little smile pulled at Teru’s lips. “As for the name, I haven’t thought of something new yet. I would prefer Teru over Teruki, though. Since it's more neutral.”

“Okay, Teru,” Shigeo said, just to say it out loud. He tucked some hair behind Teru’s ear, and she smiled, turning her face into his palm then laying back down to tuck her face into Shigeo’s neck. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for taking it so well!” Teru’s hair brushed against Shigeo’s neck in a way that made him feel slightly ticklish, but he didn’t have the heart to push her away. “I shouldn’t have doubted you, of course. You’ve always been so understanding.”

Shigeo flushed slightly at the praise. “I’ve never thought much about gender,” he said, combing his fingers through Teru’s hair again. “Everyone said I was a boy, so I assumed that just must be true.”

“You don’t have to be a boy if you don’t want to be,” Teru said, tilting her head into Shigeo’s touch. “You could be a girl if that feels right. Or both, or nothing at all. The options are limitless, really.” Shigeo’s hand stilled, and Teru noticed after a few seconds, popping her head up to look at his face. “Shigeo?”

“Um.” Shigeo had gone rather pink. The slightest bit of curious introspection made him realize he might need to do a lot more introspection, preferably when he could self-reflect in private. “Can we talk about that later?”

Teru, of course, understood what he meant. She just laughed and leaned up to kiss his nose. “Okay. I’ll be here when you want to talk about it.” She sat up in a rush as something occurred to her, a big smile on her face. “Oh! Do you want to see the skirts I bought?”

“Yes!” Shigeo nodded quickly, grateful for the change in subject and excited as always to see Teru’s impromptu fashion shows.

They might fail the tests they had intended to study for, but Shigeo decided it was worth it to see Teru smiling and laughing as she twirled in her most sparkly skirt, happy as can be.

[parachutingkitten]

No actually, time can't pass differently in the never realm.

Sorry Doc, but now that you're the one making lore tweets, you get the prolonged tumblr rants from me.

To be fair, he does seem to be handling things in a way I much prefer to tommy. Cryptic self deprecation at a (maybe?) mistake is always a better look than doubling down, so this is all incredibly light hearted, but here we go:

If time does in fact work differently, then I have to assume that means time is moving more quickly in the never realm. Zane gets sent to the Never-Realm, and in the time it takes for the ninja to follow, sixty years passes in the never. Great.

In show it seems like it takes maybe a day or two for the ninja to realize what's happened and follow after him. For some easy math, let's just round it out to about 6 days, meaning that each day in ninjago is a decade in the never.

Problem is, we see pix and wu waiting for the ninja to return. We have at least 2 incidents in ninjago taking place on separate days (The Absolute Worst and Kaiju Protocol), meaning at minimum, the ninja are gone for 2 days ninjago time, which would imply the ninja were in the never realm for 2 whole decades which... can not be true.

So, maybe I did some estimating wrong. What if it took the ninja a solid month to grieve their loss, and then realized there was hope and go after Zane? That takes the ratio down to about 2 years in the never for every ninjago day. 4 years is still an insanely long time which does not map up to what we see in the never realm. In MotM, the ninja refer to this and other missions as all happening within the span of "weeks", implying that not only do all these missions happen immediately back to back, but that their time in the never realm was no more than a couple weeks. Now, they may be referring to the time that passed in Ninjago alone, but the way it's phrased seems to imply the time experienced by the ninja themselves. It's phrased as a reminder that they haven't been home in a while, which they obviously wouldn't need to be reminded of, if they had spent more than a month or so away, nevermind 4 years.

But say that we assume the never adventure took place over the course of a full month in never time, the most I am willing to conceed before later statements don't make sense. That leaves us with a 1/15 ratio, meaning the gap between Zane being blasted away, and the ninja following after him is 4 years. That... can not be true. There is no chance it took Wu 4 years to go and visit aspheera for the first time. There is no way everyone looks the same, the team hasn't split up, and Pixal just happens to still be having plot relevant nightmares. There is no way the time skip between episodes 14 and 15 of season 11 is 4 times as long as between seasons 14 and 15.

All of this is not to mention, we're still using our extremely conservative estimate of the ninja being gone for 2 days ninjago time, which not only assumes that the absolute worst and Kaiju Protocol happen back to back, but also that the news broke to the papers that the ninja had left, it was printed, and a paper was discarded close enough to blow over prison walls, in less than a day.

So, unless "time passed differently" means that time literally started passing differently when the ninja entered into the realm, normalizing it to ninjago time... I do not see what this could possibly mean. We see a montage of time passing in episode 17 that shows us a day in the never is just about as long as we would expect, if not maybe longer. The only way I can think that this might make sense is if people in the never realm refer to a day as a year- meaning Zane was corrupted for maybe 2 months max. And that kinda undercuts the drama a bit, don't it?

Btw, any way you slice it, formlings definitely age differently. Akita's tribe gets frozen as winter comes to the never realm, when she's a child, and 60 years later, she is a teenager seeking revenge. Which for those who care (me, I'm saying this for me), means if you like the 'Lloyd has life extending Oni blood like his dad' HC, Akita may be a decent choice to ship.

I do appreciate his attempts to make this the canon answer, as it does feel less stupid than the time travel thing. The 60 year blast from tommy feels inherently random and without purpose, and so comes across as a plot hole filler more than anything else. Unfortunately, this explanation is pretty impossible unless you want to introduce some MAJOR time skips to the timeline, or change the 60 year timeframe all together.

Anyway, the consistent time difference is impossible, and Akita has a very long expected life span. Unless they explicitly decide to kill her off, there is no reason to believe she is dead.

[dykesynthezoid]

Cobra Kai: Femslash Ao3 Statistics

Yeah. This took a while and the results were kind of depressing. But I have graphs!

Some necessary notes/disclaimers before we get started:

- I am only human and it is inevitable there may be small errors in the data that I missed. This is a very rudimentary exploration and very little math was involved. I am not a mathematician or statistician and this is just an exercise, not a peer reviewed study (obviously).

- This is not a callout post. No one is attacking you for your writing habits specifically. This is an analysis of trends first and foremost, not a criticism of individual behaviors. If you feel yourself getting defensive while reading this, please take a step back and consider why you might be reacting that way. Also, if you say something stupid on this post, I will just block you, obviously.

- You may be thinking, “Wow, all that seems a little presumptive, why would people say stupid things on this post?” And to that I say: God I wish that were me. Unfortunately, people in fandom have a habit of being weird about femslash.

Okay. Let’s get into the numbers!

*Note: This data was gathered 6/23/23.

Firstly, we have a basic breakdown of CK’s Ao3 categories laid out in bar graph form:

As to be expected, M/M takes the lead, accounting for just under 2/3rds of all CK fic on Ao3. Granted, M/M’s popularity is no surprise when you consider the fandom’s most popular ships and the characters and relationships that feature most prominently in the show.

Now, note that these are taken from the category numbers as listed by ao3’s filter system. The number listed for F/F is 360.

However— This does not reflect the actual number of CK fics containing F/F hosted on ao3. This is because a. many authors have mistagged their works and b. the ao3 filter system is flawed, and some fics end up where they shouldn’t (the ‘Multi’ tag definitely contributes to this).

Soooo I went through CK’s entire F/F tag and counted which fics were, in fact, actually F/F.

(If you’re wondering about criteria—Firstly: they had to have a Cobra Kai character in an F/F pairing. Crossover fics with two characters of an entirely different fandom in an F/F pairing weren’t counted. There had to be at least one CK character involved in the F/F in question. Secondly: Actual textual mention of F/F, even if it’s just one tiny sentence. Literally I’d take anything. I need you to know I was NOT harsh about this, truly I was looking for “does this have F/F in any way whatsoever and is it Cobra Kai”)

The number for actual F/F fics came out to 313.

(*Note: there are some areas in this data where standards become unavoidably subjective, so there’s a necessary margin of error. Plus, your preferred methods may be different! These are just mine).

Here’s a pie chart comparing the number of actual F/F fics (313) to the total number of non-F/F CK fics (which was found using the total number of CK fics on ao3, minus actual F/F).

As depicted, F/F content comes out to 5.7% of the total CK fics on Ao3. 5.7%. That… Sure is a number!

Remember how M/M is the most popular category? I wanted to see what the data looked like if we controlled for it. In its simplest form (like, aggressively simple, this would go differently if this were a formal study), this means removing all M/M fics from the data; and dear god, note that this is not because I don’t like M/M or something (lmao), it’s just because it gives us insight into how the popularity of M/M can affect the overall breakdown of the data in question.

That being said, here’s a bar graph with CK’s Ao3 categories, now adjusted with M/M controlled:

Honestly, I found it nice that Gen fic is so popular in this fandom? You don’t see that everywhere. That being said, it’s obvious that even when we’re disregarding the most popular category (M/M), F/F still lags wayyyyy behind Gen and M/F.

(If you’re interested in more percentages: controlling for M/M, F/F makes up 10.4% of all the non-M/M CK fics).

Now that we have our overall categories data out of the way, let’s look at the breakdown of F/F specifically. This is a bar graph featuring the 6 most popular F/F ships (“popular” meaning they have more than 10 fics. I know. It’s rough out here), plus the overall number of genderbent M/M or M/F.

It’s so funny to see SamTory winning this one because I can tell you, it sure doesn’t usually feel like they’re that popular of a pairing when you’re someone who writes for them. But, considering all their canon interactions, it’s understandable why they’re the most popular F/F pairing, even if F/F overall is still underrepresented.

Our last bit of data focuses on how often F/F pairings are used as background for other ships. This graph takes the previous breakdown of the 6 most popular F/F ships, and compares it to the number of fics each pairing has where the F/F pairing isn’t just in the background.

The criteria for that: the F/F ship is a. featured prominently, b. has an impact on the plot/story, and/or c. features scenes that focus particularly on the F/F ship interacting.

(Note: in effort not to bias the data against drabble compilations, those fics are counted as long as at least one of the drabbles focuses specifically on the F/F relationship in question).

Man. Some of these are just brutal. Even Sam/Tory is cut down by almost a quarter.

Ok, so, this is all very interesting. But; what do we do with this information?

Well; I think the biggest takeaway is just that F/F is still really, really, really underrepresented in the fandom. And I think most fans would have guessed that was the case, but they might not have realized just how bad it was. While I would still expect M/M to be the most popular, given what I stated earlier, the fact that F/F is that far behind both M/M and M/F is… upsetting. Like, the discrepancy shouldn’t be THAT big. 5.7%. There are so many female characters in this show, interesting ones, who interact with each other and have complicated relationships. It doesn’t seem like it should be possible for numbers to be so extreme.

Some good news: we can always just write more F/F! I’ve been talking about potentially planning an F/F event and I’m definitely moving forward with that (let me know if you’re interested!) I’ll also soon be starting a blog to host that event and any other events that relate to F/F, basically a home for F/F CK content. If you’d be interested in helping mod that, please let me know for that as well.

Okay; thanks so much for sticking around to the end. I know that was long! Trust me, it took quite a while to write all this out.

[mqfx]

okay so I just had an epiphany. my mom was joking about how difficult I was with my math homework and how much I cried while doing it last night and I laughed along cause yknow... dramatic kid things. I get bored and look through the drawer in my old room and I find my 5-6th grade notebooks and start flipping through them. that's when I realized why I hated doing math homework so much it's just... designed to be complicated and frustrating? calculus was just really long chains of operations (I didn't learn math in english so I'm not sure what they're called but what I mean by it is things like subtraction and division) with increasingly big numbers that would take a long time for me to finish even years later. I get that math gets more difficult over the years, obviously, but why are we giving children big balls of yearn to untangle for hours during their free time?? it doesn't develop good thinking, it just takes more time and frustration? I always cried because the chains were so long I made mistakes all the time and had to start over again tl;dr I'll forever prefer english over maths because maths is just designed to frustrate students

this is the last vent ask that I am responding to and I want everyone to stop sending me these.

I Understand that everyone is going through something, but this is my sideblog. I am a real person with a life and worries of my own, not a public figure, a trained priest or therapist. on my sideblog I am OFF duty. I have boundaries and I need to rest too, physically and emotionally, so I can do the jobs for which I am barely paid. I have a lot going on in my life right now and this sideblog is the one place I shouldn't have to worry or accommodate anyone.

and look, as a teacher I really do understand how frustrating it is to be in school, I sympathize with that, but I am NOT a teacher online. I am NOT a trusted adult online, I am just a person existing in public. I am already responsible for many children at work and a few of them in my personal life. I cannot be responsible here too. do NOT put me on a pedestal IN MY FREE TIME. this is why I usually don't accept followers under 18 and at this point I'm gonna have to block everyone under 18 for MY peace of mind.

lastly, for the record--and this is me being very, very patient right now--math isn't "designed" to be complicated and frustrating and pointless. if you don't like math or can't do it that's fine, but they don't make you do that just to mess with you. it literally, actually does improve Problem Solving skills when you SOLVE PROBLEMS. nobody's sitting in a room plotting to make your life worse specifically. it's math. a NECESSARY SKILL THAT YOU NEED TO DEVELOP AT THIS CRITICAL AGE. not to mention that learning math isn't JUST for math--it's supposed to teach you patience, persistence, and all these other intangible qualities that create personality

again, I understand that it's frustrating (I don't even like math like that) but you need to fix your attitude about this now before it's too late. you cannot go about life thinking that everything difficult is a conspiracy against you. math is not this boogeyman, it's just something you need to train yourself on. if you end up not doing calculus or never learning it, that's fine maybe you won't use it in life, but going through the ordeal of learning anything is not useless.

English (or language arts) is not any "easier" than math except that it's easier for people to get cocky with it and think they're good because it's a more subjective field but frankly--and speaking of controversial opinions--very few people in this world can actually competently read or write or communicate well. if it's "easy" then you need to be honest and ask if you're not just being complacent somewhere

last and most important: learning is a RIGHT. or at least it should be, but for many it is a privilege they just can't have. children all over the world are literally dying when all they want is to learn. think about this and think again about what you just said. go to the woods for all I can stop you but know that hundreds of thousands of others would happily take your place, where their biggest problem is calculus and not bombs raining down on them at any time

if all of this sounds harsh: I am not here to coddle you. these are lessons you NEED to learn. I'm not just being an asshole, this is advice that any well-meaning adult will give you. don't give up because it's hard, don't treat strangers like gods, and don't be complacent with english

[sheepiling]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank you to @cantseemtohide for the tag! 🤗 

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I was adopted at 18 months and never met my biological mother after that so I have no way of knowing; my adoptive parents didn’t change my first or middle names. 

2. When was the last time you cried? 

I always cry during period week. And every time I watch Encanto. 

3. Do you have kids? 

Not yet! My husband and I do want at least one kid, though. Maybe two! Not yet, though. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Only for friends that like sarcasm. If I don’t know someone well enough to know their sense of humor yet or I know they don’t like sarcasm then I don’t use it around them. I enjoy it but it’s situational for me. 

5. What sports do you play / have you played? 

I was in marching band in high school, and when I was little I took ballet classes, though I didn’t stay in those long enough to graduate to pointe shoes. idk if those count as sports but that’s the only physical activities I did growing up. Nowadays I just do weights and jogging. 

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? 

Personality, vibe checks, & whether or not I wanna actually talk to them or just be polite and yeet out of there. 

7. Eye color? 

Greyish-blue! Sometimes tealish. It depends on the lighting and what I’m wearing. But usually a light turquoise blue-grey color. 

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? 

While I love classic horror and occult halloweeny things, I love fairy tales more, so happy endings wins! Also I dislike all the modern horror stuff that’s a bunch of gore and jump scares and violence. I prefer horror that’s 80s or older. But I love all fairy tale movies no matter when they’re made! 

9. Any special talents? 

My long-term memory is abnormally good. I can vividly remember back to kindergarten. However, my short term memory is crap. I’m always losing my phone. 😅 

10. Where were you born? 

F L O R I D A 

11. What are your hobbies? 

Playing Sims and being on Simblr (obviously) but I also like a couple MMORPGs that I play with my guild. I’m also in the choir at my Unitarian Universalist church, and I still play Flute and Bodhrán privately. I’ve been meaning to join a local drum circle but haven’t dedicated the time to that yet. 

12. Do you have any pets? 

Yes! I have 2 cats, Abigail and Tigger, and they’re mother and son! Though if we’re counting my mom’s & mi suegra’s pets as well then we have a total of 6 pets in the family. My mom has 3 cats, Little One, Midnight, and Dev (all are rescued strays ♡) and my husband’s family has a yorkie named Toby. 💕  and that puppy is mad spoiled they have baby strollers for him and take him everywhere! 😂 

13. How tall are you? 

In freedom metrics I’m 5′4″ 

14. Favorite subject in school? 

I always liked music / band the most! When you’re in marching band it consumes your entire life. The rehearsals are so long. But that’s where all my friends were so it was amazing. 💖 

15. Dream job? 

I flunked out of college twice, I’ve kind of given up on any type of careers. My husband is able to support us and I just get part time things when I’m able. Once we have kids I plan on being a stay-at-home mom, and if USA doesn’t fix the violence in schools problem we’ve been having by the time our future kiddos are ready for school I’ll probably homeschool at least the early elementary years. Though once the math gets too advanced for me to be able to teach I’ll need to look for other options ‘cuz I can’t homeschool the whole K~12. Hopefully we can get some kind of education reform by that time. 

And now to tag peeps! I’m a bit late to answer this b/c of my Mexico trip and a lot of people have done this already. Also, 15 people is A LOT for a tag game so I’m just gonna pick the most recent mutuals in my Activity log! Sorry if you already did this. If anyone else didn’t get a ping for this tag and wants to do it you can totes tag me as the person that tagged you, though! ♡ 

@helenofsimblr @sparkiekong @sassie-sims @druidberries @daydreamertrait @timberllania @sir-silly @nolongerafruit @nightlifeseries @silverspringsimmer @coliemoongaming @sims-for-semi @saps-sims @faetheegrey @talesofsimverse 

[epicmothgirl42069]

I’m bored so I’m doing this whole thing with kevin (& ace) bc im not confident in doing ask games the normal way (at least on tumblr). i dont remember if i ever introduced these guys on tumblr but i’m posting this anyway maybe i’ll post they ref and general info later after this. Unless otherwise specified the answer applies to both kevin and ace

Almost always purple. Occasionally dark browns. If you want to get specific i’ll always associate him with hex code #625165 for reasons (also ace is obviously gold/yellow)

Probably some ridiculous outer space alien music that sounds weird to most humans but Kevim grew up with that stuff so to him thats just what music is. bogo sort

Doesn’t use weapons and is mostly a pacifist. In dire self-defense situations he goes in with just his bare hands or very rarely grabs something nearby to fashion into a weapon

As the above implies he’s fairly resourceful. He’s been through a few situations where he’s had to survive in the wilderness on his own so he’s definitely had to make some tools up on the fly and has a bit of experience engineering things due to having to repair his spaceship so often

You’d think he’d have a ton of weird alien clothes and he kinda does but most of the time he doesn’t wear those and just goes with a turtleneck or fluffy sweater or something. It’s cold in space. He prefers something casual and practical

He brushes it and that’s it. It just sorta fluffs out like that on it’s own

He could never pick a favorite animal. He loves them all so much theyre his favorite thing ever. He has so much joy and affection for every creature he sees he loves animals and alien creatures and other such things (Ace is more indifferent to them and also doesn’t have a favorite)

Technically Kevin is his nickname. His full name is like Kev-alboniivanoia-elvin since he was raised by aliens but he prefers Kevin because its easier to pronounce and also sounds like a human name

Kevin’s the opposite of a picky eater, he’ll try anything and everything at least once. There’s been several time where’s he’s gotten horribly sick because he ate some alien food that’s poisonous to humans. As for favorites, idk why but he seems like a fruit guy to me. Ace has absolutely no standards and I mean that as literally as possible, they regularly eat garbage

He has that star necklace he wears around sometimes but he doesn’t really care for jewelry

He actually looks weirdly kinda similar to me in some ways?? Other than that I’m not quite sure, i domt really know if wed get along or not???

I created Kevin on October 26, 2022 and that’s been his official birthday every since. Except for 2022 obviously, in canon 2022 is ancient history by the time he’s born. I think I actually made Ace a while after??? Apparently they were made on November 5th but in canon they have the same bday as Kevin

He knows 3 languages, english, the one that his caretakers/pseudo-family spoke, and one that’s basically the universally accepted languages most people in the universe know if they travel a lot. (Ace only really knows the universal language because Kevin uses it the most)

They’re like slightly above average, except average in their time is already way better than it is now so they’d seem like a god at math in this time (Ace is closer to our level)

Kevin grew up around like 10 other kids around the same age as him, none of them were human though. He ended up receiving Ace at around 10 years old-ish. He basically lived with them and their caretakers/teachers until they were like 20 and he finally got to go out on his own. Every once in a while he sees some of his family(?) but he’s mostly alone with himself and Ace now

No pets. Unless you count Ace, but that would be weird so no

Most of the time he spent it the same way he spent his non-free time (running around alien planets and looking at weird animals. Obviously not the exact same thing, his schoolwork was more complex than that, but that was the jist of it. This was in fact how he found Ace). He’s also taken an interest in engineering, specifically spaceships and how they work, and he’s shown a bit of interest in astronomy. When Ace was in control they absolutely would pull pranks and cause mayhem

Killing bad, but lying and stealing are things they’ve both done quite a bit of for some reason or another.

Kevin’s generally patient and tolerant so he’s not quick to get angry, just annoyed or irritated, so I’m not exactly sure what would anger him. Probably just general things that would make anyone angry. Ace is definitely more quick to anger, if not just because they’re generally more eccentric and have more intense emotions overall. Ace mostly hates people who are judgmental of them and Kevin

They can fly a spaceship. It’s probably not too fancy, but I bet Kevin wants to eventually get one that’s like that. I imagine that the inside would look messy to anyone else, but to Kevin himself he sees it as organized if that makes sense???

Anywhere, really. They’re always so fascinated by new places and experiences and feel a need to explore everything and everywhere

Probably has an eccentric sleep schedule. Sometimes he sleeps a few hours, sometimes nearly a day, and it almost never lines up with the actual day and night. There probably isn’t an “actual” day and night to him, since he lives in space and even when they’re on a planet different planets have different day and night cycles

Kevin’s voice on it’s own sounds average, but due to the fact he was raised by aliens who speak a language that’s entirely different from anything humanity has created, he has an absolutely bizarre accent that’s almost inhuman sounding. Ace sounds the same but more distorted and garbly, and weirdly higher pitched.

Kevin’s not much of a creative person but they do have a bit of an interest in engineering as previously stated. Ace has even less creative interests, unless mayhem counts i think it gets pretty creative at that

Kevin has average hearing and sight, nothing too special. Ace’s senses are probably less than ideal on ifs own but it can make up for it a little bit by being able see and hear through Kevin?

Kevin isn’t graceful by any means but he’s not particularly clumsy. Ace however is wayyy more clumsy and it’s movements are very exaggerated and odd, almost like they’re drunk-ish??

They don’t really have much of an interest or awareness of sports

It’s hard to tell whether Kevin likes someone or not usually but his favoritest friends will be often be subject to long infodumps about various critters because he’s the most comfortable talking to them, while people he doesn’t like will be avoided when possible and if they have to talk Kevin will end the convo as soon as possible.

Elements aren’t really a significant thing in the story but Kevin feels like an earth guy

To be honest he probably kinda stinks. Well it depends on where he’s living at the moment but usually he’s out in the wilderness so yeah.

Probably not a good gift giver and doesn’t really know what gifts he would like. Perhaps he’d enjoy getting some kind of sci-fi gizmo that doesn’t do anything useful but is neat to have around.

They picked up a few weird alien behaviors due to his upbringing, and didn’t realize they weren’t normal until a while after we went out to live on his own. One that I can think of off the top of my head is that his mentors often communicated with their antennae and he started mimicking that by putting his hands up to their head like bunny ears.

Kevin: Odd, quiet, a bit funny or silly sometimes (Possibly unintentionally), maybe even passionate about his interests. For Ace: Loud, eccentric, zany, oftentimes irritating, very wild and emotive

I think Kevin would struggle to think of what to say if asked what he thinks about himself and would just go off what others say about him. Ace is kinda insecure and isn’t sure what to think of themself, sometimes they think it doesn’t deserve to stay with Kevin and that they’re just a burden, and sometimes it thinks that it’s absolutely valid and that anyone who says otherwise is awful and wrong

Idk what this really means (i guess its under the assumption that that character’s story involves them leaving home) but Kevin doesn’t really have a home. He spends most of his life drifting in space and when he does go onto land it’s usually a temporary visit that only lasts for a few months at most. I guess that would make his spaceship his home? Or would that mean everywhere is their home?

i wanted to make an oc ask game 😋 things i like to ask people abt their characters:

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

how crafty/resourceful are they?

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

favorite animal? why?

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

are they any good with numbers?

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

their favorite place to be?

do they sleep well at night?

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

do they smell like anything notable?

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

do they ever return home?

[chet-oh]

Demoted to just a Pen Pal

I miss her. How could I not miss her? She was in my life everyday. 

She was my pen pal and she resented that. Not being my pen pal (at least, not completely, I hope), but that I answered when asked about her that she was my pen pal. I see how what I said was wrong. Or not wrong but inadequate and inaccurate. While in a way, accurate. She actually is my pen pal. We used to write to each other everyday, several times a day, for many many many days.1340 days. I actually counted them. Not counted them, but did the math. 

The thing is we understand words differently. Please allow me to blame it on the language barrier and on my ignorance and not on my shortsightedness to read the room and the impossibility of me being capable of leaving my head. I’ll try and elaborate on this. 

I have come to realize that a pal is someone you pat on the back while you say “There you go, buddy!” because you don’t remember the name that was just stated two minutes ago. 

Of course she is not my pal. Not just my pen pal. I have come to hate that stupid word. But I hadn’t any deeper answer for my “friends”, the ones who were asking. Let me clarify on those quotations; they are (were) my friends, but I have not seen them but only a few times in many years, they are gossipy and annoying, they aren’t curious about me or my life (I guess I am not that curious about theirs, but I can explain that... maybe in another time) and I barely share anything about me with anyone, and even more rarely, something that is so important, means so much to me, and that I hold dearly close to my... wherever I keep my nice feelings. I try not to waste those things on ears that don’t care.

It was important for me that she was there when I met my friends for dinner. The thing is that it wasn’t important because of my relationship with them. It was important because of that thing she said (wrote) once. Ok, I need to interrupt myself to explain that part. 

While we were getting to know each other better, as people and pen pals do, our conversation came to a point where we commented on our digital footprint and, particularly, our social media footprint, which isn’t as large as expected from someone of our generation. I asked if she had looked for me. She said no. That she was going to, but realized that she preferred to get to know me through me and whatever bits I decided to share with her. Which was nice and in tone with the kind of relationship we had. We kept the magic of being... god damn fucking pen pals... alive. Away from all the noise and with the peculiarity of the way of thinking that communicating this way does. Or so I thought.

So, I was trying to show her the bits of me that she didn’t know. There isn’t a lot to know. I am a boring bread-without-salt type of person. But I imagined this would be kind of my origin story part of the movie. I wanted her to know the bits. I even send her the link to my blog. The one were I put the memes that I like, has funny pics of dogs and cats, lots of movie quotes, and where I wrote things when things were a bit too much for me to handle. It’s not that it’s a secret place. It’s there somewhere on the internet for anyone to google if they are committed enough to think of the right combination of words. Obviously, this origin story sparks a very constrained flow of followers. I haven’t shared the link with anyone before, really. But, where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. showing her the bits. “Look, this is where I was before I met you.” was what I was trying to do. But I fuckin’ said pen pal.

That unfolded a chain of events. From then on, every time felt like I was saying good bye. As if all my short comings and weirdness and awkwardness finally added up and the balance was not in my favor. It became apparent those things that I do differently and I came up short in the things that make people (regular normal people, people that aren’t me) go “this is important.” 

Now it takes her days to write back. And I miss her. 

She recently mentioned, in one of those less frequent messages, something that we have talked about before. You know that novel about the guy who fucked a thousand women but was still a virgin and that woman that had to live a whole other life before they could be together while everyone else was dying of cholera? She was wondering which one of us resembled more to which one of them. Well, not the parts that I described about them. The other parts that are all over the novel when you read it. The way they are from different from each other and have personalities and stuff. Look, I also need to read that novel again, but I think I make my point. If you don’t get it, stop reading and go get that book. Well, she asked if I would wait for her the way Florentino waited for Fermina. I don’t know what she meant. 

But I will.

[iladkaren]

THE CONSIGLIERE: Chapter I

Pairing: Mafia!BTS x Reader

Summary:

An internship gone wrong.

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

"Work for you?" That was the first time you met Ji-Hye. She had a soft voice that reminded you of your mother, but her bright eyes held an intelligence behind them.

You were looking through the new paintings for this month's art fair when she came up behind you. You nearly dropped your drink, but managed to save it without making a fool of yourself.

"I guess so," you said awkwardly. A little nervous under her gaze, you fidgeted before realizing you should offer your hand.

The Hwan Ji-Hye. Beautiful. Smart. Kind. An overall perfectionist who cared deeply about how things worked. The perfect girlfriend. The perfect fiancée.

Dionysus Museum's Founding Director and Curator. Well-known for supporting avant-garde performance art. She has repeatedly provided a stage to aspiring performance artists at the beginning of their carrers, launching many a brilliant career. She believes that artist must be activists, and that Dionysus Museum provides a venue for fruitful, challenging debates through a fresh, boundary-breaking art.

She is also a great teacher, an incredibly kind person with a sharp tongue and an even sharper mind. And, while some have argued that she lacks creativity, she has proven countless times that there is a place for all creative ideas.

Her father, a prominent lawyer and judge, had been among the founders of the museum as well.

She was amused by your reaction. "Yes, we have an open internship this month. You should consider applying. I see you have an artistic eye."

You blushed slightly. "Oh, thank you, I didn't know they offered internships. It seems a bit odd though."

She smiled sweetly. "Well, no one else from other schools applied here, which means you may actually get in. But don't go jumping into things too quickly!"

"Uhm... that's... I just enjoy painting." You uncomfortably denied.

A sly smile spread across her lips. "Is that right?"

Your face felt hot. Why did she make everything sound so seductive? It was probably the makeup. No wonder you were having such trouble keeping your eyes off her. She was breathtaking. You were completely lost, and you hated it.

"Exactly what we require. Are you, by chance, a Fine Arts student?" She inquired, but you had a sneaking suspicion she already knew.

"Not exactly. I'm taking a year away to get my master's degree in Fine Arts, but, uhm... I haven't completed the semester yet." You nodded.

"That's fantastic! We are now seeking for additional help. We're a touch short on employees." She pointed in the direction of the ushers and guides who worked behind her.

You noticed that each guide wore a red buttoned shirt underneath their suit jackets. Each had black trousers and shoes, and carried a clipboard.

"Are those… your ushers?" You asked.

Ji Hye gave you an enigmatic smile. "We prefer to refer to them as guides, yes."

You did the math. There were a total of seven, which was obviously insufficient for a museum of this size. "I'd have to think about it."

The young woman leaned forward. "Don't think too hard. Just say the word."

You were silent for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. Your eyes darted from person to person before settling back to her.

"Oh." She seemed depressed all of a sudden. Nonetheless, she persisted in asking, "have you ever accepted an internship before?"

"Uhm... no. I'm still on the lookout." You replied. You thought the conversation was over until her face suddenly lit up again.

"At the very least, consider it. It would make me quite delighted if you chose this internship." She softly held your arm to reassure you. "I can tell you're one of a kind."

Her smile made you feel special somehow, which surprised you. It wasn't like you were a pretty girl or anything—in fact, you thought that you looked more like someone who had spent three years playing tennis than anything else. And yet, something made you trust her. Maybe it was her confident demeanor, or her gentle manner.

It would appear that an angel had gone past. The uneasy pause seemed to go far too long. In reality, it had taken less than a minute. "Ah," you finally said, "thank you."

She squeezed your arm in reply. "Let's hope that it comes true. If not, it's okay. I'll find another way to attract new interns."

"I should probably leave." To avoid the embarrassment, you gently moved backwards, but not before saying, "but thank you for offering. I'll think about it." You instantly turned around and raced through the museum's front doors. When you realized you had made it back to your car with only seconds to spare, you stopped dead in your tracks. This entire afternoon had been a mess, and you felt utterly stupid. You were usually quite good at improvising on the spot, but nothing prepared you for Ji Hye.

Maybe you shouldn't have done that? What if it got her angry? Then again, what if it didn't? Would you have any chance of working for them then?

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

[hermannsthumb]

you already know who it is! im just on anon to protect my cover. anyway im officially requesting newt and hermann having sex specifically in a position that's the most conducive to continuing their argument

oh man I totally forgot about this request HAHAHA. below cut is probably a light not sfw/M rating. they are very much doing things but I keep it vague. a short little ficlet between the million things I have to do this week!

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Generally speaking, Newt and Hermann never like to let their disagreements⁠ (that's the thing that Hermann likes to call them, our little disagreements, always sarcastically, and sometimes if he's feeling extra funny, extra romantic, or trying to butter Newt up for something, our silly little spats⁠) hang over them for longer than a few days or so. Newt and Hermann's arguments can be pretty fun, and more important, they can be pretty productive; Newt can concoct a hypothesis and know immediately (completely half-baked as it is) how and where Hermann will poke holes into it and revise accordingly, and he suspects Hermann feels the same way about him. Arguing with Hermann can also be neither of those things. That's where Hermann usually tries to draw the line. He likes to kiss and make up when they clock out, leave it all behind in the lab, start each day off fresh and everything, not lose sleep because he can't stop fuming or mentally throwing darts at a picture of Newt or whatever. (He's told Newt more than once he doesn't like going to bed angry with him.) Newt thinks it's pretty cute. Plus, he usually gets an especially tender goodnight kiss out of it, which he can't complain about.

Well, like, technically this is Hermann's preferred way of doing things. In theory they know where to draw the line. Sometimes Hermann is too much of a stubborn asshole to give up the fight and make nice, and Newt is⁠—regrettably⁠—also kind of a stubborn asshole, who also has trouble giving up the fight and making nice. It's why they work so well together. If Newt was being romantic, he would say it makes them soulmates.

"There's nothing at all romantic about it, you wretched little man," Hermann snaps. "It's a headache, is what. I don't see why you won't just apologize so we can be done with it already."

The way they make up for their longer fights kinda rocks, too. If Newt's being honest he'll sometimes let them drag out deliberately just so Hermann will initiate fun angry makeouts. "Because it's not a big deal!" Newt says. "If I did it on purpose I would, but obviously I didn't, and it's stupid, anyway. Just⁠—" He muffles a grunt into his pillow and tries his hardest to bite back a grin. Riling Hermann up can be very, very fun. Sexy stuff aside, he just looks kind of funny when he gets mad, like a puffed-out bullfrog or something. "G-get over it."

"Oh, yes, fine for you to say," Hermann says. Newt feels his hands sliding up Newt's arms, one of them curling around Newt's wrist, the other pivoting to his shoulderblade to press him down into the mattress gently. Newt shivers happily. "When—when you haven't—"

"It's a broken mug, Hermann," Newt says.

"It was my favorite mug, and—"

"How. Ufh. S-sentimental. I bought it for you," Newt says. "If anyone should be upset about this it's me. I'll just buy you a new one or whatever, and—"

"This isn't working," Hermann sighs.

He rolls off of Newt and flops into his back with a groan. Not a sexy groan, unfortunately, but at least not the kind that means he's broken or strained something and is in horrific pain. (At least not physically, anyway.) Newt props himself up on his elbow and frowns at Hermann. Hermann's whole face is flushed red, and his choppy, uneven bangs are stuck to his forehead with sweat. He's breathing hard, and Newt's not sure whether from exhaustion or anger. "What's wrong?" Newt says. "You wanna stop?" Maybe he underestimated Hermann's affection for the mug (blue with some stupid math pun on it, Newt found it in an airport gift shop on his way back to the Shatterdome from a k-biology conference last year and snatched it up for Hermann immediately because how could he not), despite how much Hermann rolled his eyes at it when Newt gave it to him or complained about it every time he saw it in the lab kitchenette, and he really is royally pissed at Newt.

But Hermann shakes his head quickly. "Goodness, no," he says. "I was enjoying myself. I'd prefer to see your face, is all. This feels rather too impersonal."

"Aw, dude," Newt says. "How romantic."

Hermann snorts. "Not that. I meant conversing with you, you silly man." He reaches up to the back of Newt's head and tugs at a piece of hair. Newt winces. "And I kept getting this up my damned nose, it tickles like anything. I'm certain I'm allergic to your new shampoo. You ought to toss it."

"I spent ten bucks on it," Newt says. Ten bucks, and a trip outside the Shatterdome into the city, where he could've very easily faced certain death by kaiju stomping if he timed it just wrong enough. No way is he throwing it out and going back to the shitty stuff the PPDC pushes on them (or Hermann's preferred 5-in-1 crap or whatever) in the commissary just because of Hermann's imagined hay fever. "Okay, give me second. Um—"

Hermann is pliant and willing when Newt readjusts them appropriately: Hermann with his back up against the bedframe, Newt bracing his knees on either side of Hermann's bony thighs and his hands against the cement wall above Hermann's head. Their foreheads bump together when Newt settles into place, and Newt can feel Hermann's hot breath ghosting over his skin, vaguely stale and smelling like his evening pot of decaffeinated tea. Their glasses slide down their noses and clink together. Hermann allows himself the flickering hint of a smile for all of one second before he furrows his brow and scowls at Newt. "Far better," he says. He pushes up his glasses. "You wretched little...man. Er. What was I saying?" Newt moves his hips and Hermann sucks in a deep breath. "Oh. I—"

"Uh-huh?" Newt says. "What were you saying? I'm all ears."

"You're wretched," Hermann says through clenched teeth.

"You already said that," Newt says. "Are you already running out of insults?" Sometimes Newt likes to imagine that Hermann sits down with a notebook at the end of a long day and just pens out new and exciting ways to call Newt an idiot or something like that, which makes it extra exciting when Newt finally manages to reduce him to stammering and stuttering.

"You're," Hermann says, mouth dropping open in a throatier, sexier groan when Newt moves his hips again. The red flush is spreading down his neck to the top of his bare chest in splotchy patches. He reaches down and grips Newt's waist, his blunt fingernails digging into Newt's skin, and Newt leans forward and grazes his lips across Hermann's jaw. He likes to kiss Hermann there, because it's so much smoother than his own stubbly jaw has ever felt under his hand. "Oh. By Jove, Newton, you—you're really—"

Newt doesn't bother hiding his grin this time. "Yeah?"

"Q-quite irritating," Hermann says.

"I'll buy you a new mug," Newt promises, and Hermann wraps him in his arms and kisses him soundly.

[pottersfia]

If you're down to, 28 in "meet cutes" with rodrick heffley, but the other way around, the reading asking to to pretend, if you cant no worries <3

shout out to my ex | rodrick heffley x gn!reader

28: they ask you to pretend to be their date at a bar to prevent an ex from talking to them

a/n: YAY OK OK, i changed the scene from a bar to a party and you’re both seniors, also lol to the title

to avoid name problem: y/f = your friend’s name

warnings: nothing but brief mention of teen drinking

you didn’t really want to go.

your friend had gone on and on about how you just had to come to this party with them. you eventually agreed but it was mostly to shut them up. you had avoided parties ever since you and your ex broke up. he was always at every party and you wanted to see as little of him as possible.

“having fun, y/n?” y/f asked as she danced along to the song that was blasting in your ear. you would’ve been having more if you weren’t avoiding someone. instead, the overwhelming amount of teenagers crowded around you plus the aroma of multiple and definitely alcoholic drinks was not your preferred environment.

“a blast.” you replied nonchalantly. y/f rolled their eyes and laughed. suddenly their eyes widened as someone was obviously approaching behind you.

“what?” you asked and turned around to see, you guessed it, your ex. “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“i seriously thought jason wasn’t going to come.” y/f said.

“i told you he’s everywhere.” you turned back around. quickly, you looked around to find some way to escape his view. you saw a guy standing by the kitchen countertop. he wasn’t really talking to anyone. you recognized him from maybe one or two of your classes? the messy black hair, eyeliner, and dark t shirts were easily recognizable. you then made your way towards him.

“hey.” the boy looked at you with wide eyes.

“uh...” he looked around as if he was searching for who you meant to talk to.

“yes, i’m talking to you.” you laughed. he looked back at you and smiled as you moved to stand next to him.

“you’re in my math class right? the guy that’s always drumming on the desk with pencils.” you asked.

“so you’ve heard of me.” he chuckled. “i’m rodrick. your name is y/n, right?”

“stalker much?” you laughed softly.

“no i just mean, you’re jason’s ex.” he gestured over to where jason stood, surrounded by girls most likely trying to show off or something. you rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“yes. i’m trying to avoid him. i didn’t even want to be here.” you said.

“that bad?” he looked back at you and you nodded. you looked at him, like really looked at him this time. when he wasn’t acting like an out of control idiot (but let’s be honest it’s not really something you’d hate about him), he seems comforting. like you could talk to him forever and it wouldn’t be awkward. or even just being in his presence would be enough. that was a lot to say considering it’s the first you’ve even interacted.

“yeah.” you finally answered back with a small smile.

the two of you continued to talk about anything and everything, occasionally singing along to whatever song would come on. rodrick was a good distraction. you hardly remembered jason until you saw from the corner of your eye that he was coming your way. the boy practically made a beeline to you. you quickly held rodrick’s face making him look at you.

“woah, i’d think i’d be able to at least take you out first before something like-” you interrupted him.

“rodrick, i apologize for this in advance.” before he could question you, you leaned in and connected your lips to his. he hesitated at first but began to kiss back, placing his hands gently on your waist. you had to admit he was a good kisser. 10 times better than jason anyway.

you parted to catch your breath and the two of you held eye contact. you couldn’t help but smile at his expression. he seemed completely hypnotized. you laughed and shook your head, looking around for a moment to see jason was gone.

“i think you broke me, y/n.” rodrick said.

“well i sure hope not. if you���re gonna ask me out like you said, i’d rather not have a broken date.”

[heliads]

The Football Player (Part One)

Based on this request: “Bucky is a football player and you are a fan of the team but you're also really shy. Secretly Bucky also developed a crush on you. He sees you getting mocked by some idiots and he gets in between to stand up for you. Later then he asks you for a walk and he kisses you.”

masterlist / part two

According to every ounce of common sense still left in your body, you should be paying attention. You’re in school, might as well actually learn something, right? You have a test next period, and if you were smart or wanted to pass at all, you should be focusing right now, tracking every single word that your professor is saying. The only problem is that you’re not doing this whatsoever. No, your gaze is instead directed out the window, where a certain football team is just beginning practice.

It’s not like you were intentionally trying to get distracted. You had come to the classroom right on time, pencils lined up and notebook out, ready to start the day. Your gaze just happened to accidentally shift to the window instead, and when you saw number seventeen in red and gold, well, how could you focus on math at a time like this? You’d seen James Barnes around the school many times, but he never ceases to amaze you.

Honestly, even talking about him tends to light a fire behind your cheeks. You’ve seen this movie dozens of times before: shy, studious girl falls for the football player, hijinks ensue. However, this isn’t a Hollywood blockbuster. Bucky is a star member of the team, and you’re just a fan of your school’s football games. Whenever you do icebreakers in class and you’re forced to describe yourself in one word, you always reach for ‘bookish’ or ‘smiling’. Certainly never ‘superbly athletic’ or ‘on Bucky’s radar in any way’. Those aren’t even one word.

However, you never quite seem to let yourself be brought back to reality. Time and time again, you don the red and gold colors of your school- Mid-Capital University, or MCU, ready to go cheer on the team and your favorite player especially so. In fact, there’s a game tonight, you’ll be going with your friend. No matter how many times you laugh at yourself, though, you can’t shake your crush. You doubt it’ll be going away anytime soon.

The night is young, the shouts loud. You cheer with your friend and the rest of the school as the football team runs out onto the field. Their manager, a Mr. Stark, watches from the sidelines, yelling directions or complaining about how much the equipment is going to cost. The team jogs over to their captain, Steve Rogers, to huddle up and discuss final strategy. Steve is a senior, and you’ve heard rumors that he’s chosen Sam Wilson to take his place as captain next year. He’s Bucky’s best friend, so you’ve heard, although they pretend to fight often enough that you’d think they were rivals.

Bucky is here as well now, eyes glinting from underneath his helmet. He’d had long hair for the longest time, but when he’d cut it over the summer there had been more than a few desolate sighs from the cheerleaders. You had to smile at that- at least you weren’t head-over-heels enough to give up your crush based on his hair. You weren’t that bad yet.

As you watch, the team takes their position. They’ll be playing their rivals tonight, the Hydras. Steve heads to the back, Bucky and Sam on either side of him. Further along the team, you can begin to recognize other players- Scott Lang, a kid who’s scrawny off the field but seems to grow twice in size the second he puts on his gear, Peter Parker, the freshman who managed to make it on the team within his first few days, and Natasha Romanoff, the one girl on the team who’s got a death stare promising she’ll tear any objectors to shreds.

The whistle blows, and the teams are off. You watch with bated breath as Bucky darts left, right, catches the ball from Steve and takes off down the field. Apprehension grows across the student body until at last- touchdown, your school! You rise with the others, cheering in unison. Maybe you’re just being silly, but you could swear Bucky looked at you with a smile just as he started off back towards the line.

The rest of the football game is a breeze. Your school wins easily, and Bucky definitely did his part to secure the victory. The next day, everyone is still buzzing over the catches and near misses with their friends, not wanting to miss a single moment. You suppose it’s still on your mind, which is why you’re frozen in your tracks when your new lab partner sits down beside you in biology.

It’s Bucky. Of course it is Bucky. Of course, the one time you have to have a new lab partner in class, your teacher manages to have the terrible luck to place you with the one person who reduces you to a blushing mess every time he steps within ten feet of you. Bucky slings his backpack down beside his chair, offering you an easy smile like a flyer, free of charge.

“I’m Bucky.” He says, and you remember yourself. “I know. I saw the game, you were really good. I’m Y/N, uh, by the way.” Bucky’s smile grows even wider when you mention the game, if that’s possible. “You saw the game? That’s so nice of you.” You feel like you can’t form a coherent thought. “Yeah, I went with my friends. Your team won.” You want to slap yourself in the head- of course he won, he was there. You’re stating the obvious.

But Bucky doesn’t laugh at you, or act like you’ve said anything strange. He just nods, shoulders slumping slightly as he thinks about last night’s game. “It was hard. I guess every time you go against your rival school the pressure’s just ten times worse. It took a lot to just run out on the field.”

He stiffens slightly after he says this, like he wasn’t intending on sharing that secret just yet. However, you’re just grateful that you’re not the only one saying whatever pops into your head. “I can’t blame you. If it’s worth anything, though, I thought you were great.” Bucky’s beaming smile is back, brighter than ever. “It’s worth a lot from you.”

Maybe this sudden seating arrangement won’t be that bad after all.

Your friend catches up to you the second you leave the biology room behind. She looks back and forth between you and Bucky’s retreating form, something in between astonishment and a teasing grin lingering on her face. “Tell me I didn’t just make that up. Tell me you’re actually the lab partner of the one and only Bucky Barnes, the guy you’ve been crushing on for, like, forever.”

You shove her slightly, although you can’t help but smile. “It’s true. I don’t know how, but it’s true. Guess the bio teacher really liked me that period.” Your friend loops an arm around your shoulders. “It’s not just him who really likes you. Did you see the way he was looking at you? All through class, he kept stealing glances. I think Bucky Barnes has a crush on you.”

You stop in your tracks. “That’s impossible. He would never.” Your friend crows in victory. “But he did! You don’t stare at somebody like that unless you’re hopelessly in love with them. It’s the same way you stare at him.” Indignation rises in you like a spring. “I don’t stare at him. I just observe, casually.” Your friend snorts. “Well, you casually observe him a lot. Honestly, I just see this as a success. If you can get the star football player to fall in love with you, then I think I can win the lottery or something.”

Even after your laughter rises and dies away, you can’t help but think about what your friend said. Surely it’s impossible- Bucky would never so much as talk to you outside of class, let alone have a crush on you. But your friend wasn’t exactly lying. You had seen Bucky out of the corner of your eye, the way a smile lingered on his lips when he glanced over at you. That wasn’t just nothing, right? Honestly, this whole lab partners deal might be more pressing than you ever thought possible.

The only way to move on is to go through the next day, and the next. After that, however, you have biology again, and that means finding your place next to Bucky Barnes and pretending like your heart rate isn’t skyrocketing the second he smiles up at you, saying he’s glad to see you again. Your friend keeps stealing glances your way, eyes wide and thumbs raised in an expression of impressed awe.

As it turns out, your friend isn’t the only one to see something between you and Bucky. You make your way out of the bio room, unable to hide a smile, although your happy outlook disappears the second somebody blocks your path across campus. This somebody just happens to be Mandy Fleming, bottle blonde junior who thinks she owns the school, and her entourage of preening followers.

Mandy folds her arms over her chest, considering you. Her lip purses. Evidently she finds something lacking. “You know, I don’t think we’ve had a proper conversation in a while. We need to make a few things clear.” You force a smile, trying to step around her. “Can we do it later? I have places to be.” Mandy curls her lip. “I don’t wait. This can’t wait. See, you’ve developed the unfortunate habit of spending too much time around Bucky Barnes.”

You raise an eyebrow. “We’re lab partners. What, you want me to ignore him?” Mandy’s eyes narrow. “That would be preferable. Next class, you’re going to go up to the professor and tell him you want to switch partners. Make something up about wanting to be closer to the board or something, I’m sure he’ll believe it.” You can barely listen to her. “And why would I do that?” Mandy takes a step closer. “Bucky is mine, not yours. I’m going to need you to back off.”

You stare at her. “You want me to switch lab partners all because a boy you’re not even dating is sitting next to me?” Mandy’s head rears back. You’ve obviously struck a nerve. “Listen here, honey. This isn’t an issue about me, it’s an issue about you. What, did you really think Bucky would ever even give you the time of day? You’re a nobody, a nothing, somebody not even worth a fraction of his time. Honestly, I’m doing him a favor by getting rid of you. He doesn’t want to see you, not for a second.”

With every word, you can feel your confidence plummeting. Mandy notices this, a smirk burning even deeper into her lips. Sometimes, you swear she can smell fear just like an animal. “You’re worried because you know I’m right. You’re pathetic, really, and Bucky Barnes wants nothing to do with you.” Just as you feel like you want to go back to your dorm room and never see the light of day again, a voice rings out from behind you. It’s a voice you recognize instantly, and one that Mandy does too, as she shrinks back the second she hears it.

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” Bucky steps forward, taking a place next to you. Mandy forces a smile. “I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about. Y/N and I are just having a little chat about homework. We had homework, right, a textbook reading and-” Bucky cuts her off coolly. “I heard every word. If you think I’d want to choose you over her, you’re wrong. She’s a hundred times the girl you’ll ever be.”

Mandy stammers, fishing around for words but coming up with nothing. It’s almost cathartic to watch. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, Y/N and I have somewhere to be. And if I hear you trying to talk to her like that again, believe me when I say that this won’t be the worst I’ll say to you.” Bucky offers you a hand like a proper gentleman, and you take it, letting him steer you away from Mandy and her followers, who are still gaping at your backs.

The second you’re out of earshot, Bucky turns to you, apologies and regret written all over his face. “I’m so sorry about that. It’s all my fault- she’s been trying to flirt with me all semester, and I finally gave up and rejected her, and now she’s taking it out on you. I wish none of this ever happened.” You manage to force a smile. “Trust me, it’s fine.”

Bucky looks at you, concern still lingering in his eyes. “Are you sure? I can talk to them again if you think they’ll bother you.” You laugh at that. “Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly alright.” Bucky smiles at that. “Well, if you are perfectly alright, I was wondering if you were busy this Saturday. I saw this new park that opened, and it looked really interesting, but if you’re busy or something we can totally do something else, or nothing at all, whatever you-”

You cut him off, unable to hide a smile at his rambling. “I think that sounds excellent. I’ll see you there?” Bucky’s face lights up. “I’ll see you there.” He gathers his courage one last time, then leans forward to kiss you. He flashes you one last perfect smile before disappearing around the corner, leaving you with a smile and the memory of his lips on yours. When you look up, you see scores of jealous girls staring at you, but for once, the attention doesn’t bother you. Why should it? You have Bucky at last, and he doesn’t want anyone but you.

marvel tag list: @mycosmicparadise​

[softxsuki]

congrats for reaching 1000 followers !! 🥳 you totally deserve it, hope I’ll see grow more here ! may I join your event please ?

I’d like a romantic matchup with a male from haikyuu or attack on titan (the one who inspires you the most) 🫶 I use the pronouns she/her and I am an INFP. I only know my zodiac theme but not the meaning behind it, here it goes : scorpio sun, scorpio moon, cancer rising, sagittarius venus)

I consider myself as an ambivert, I’m really shy at the beginning (can even stutter and blush a lot) but once I’m comfortable or changes everything. I think I good advice, or it’s what I’ve been told. I guess it’s because I’m a great listener and really pay attention to everything. obviously I’m overthink too much and it stresses me a lot. still, even if I’m an anxious person, I often appear nonchalant. I really like reading and use irony as a second language. I do not enjoy big parties and rather prefer staying at home. I love hot chocolate, best thing ever (I’d go everyday at Starbucks for that if I could). I crave for academic acknowledgment because it’s the only thing I think I’m good at since I was a child (even if I’m bad at maths) the only sport I practice is swimming but I love it !

I’m looking for a partner with who I can be comfortable and find an ear, because I also need it sometimes. it could be great if he is at ease in public, or at least less introverted than me.

also I’m French so I’m sorry if I made any mistakes ! and I apologize if it’s too long

1000 Follower Event Matchup #2

Want to participate in this event? You can figure out how to do so in this post!

Note: Hey thank you so much! Never apologize for anything, I understood you perfectly :D. I hope you like who I matched you up with! I think they're both perfect matches for you! Also you didn't mention which headcanons you wanted, so I just made them for what dates with these guys would be like :3. Thank you for participating in my event <3

I match you with ARMIN ARLERT and DAICHI SAWAMURA!

runner-ups were erwin and kuroo!

Armin:

Technical: Armin is an INFJ which is compatible with you as an INFP! You would both have a loyal, deep connection with each other. Armin is also a scorpio, just like you, so your love for each other will run extremely deeply and that passion will be strong between you both!

Personable: I think Armin does overthink a bit, but he’s very intelligent and is a quick thinker, so he’d be a great person who could ease your anxious mind. He’s great with his words and would offer the best advice if you ever need it. Though he is very intelligent, I think your own advice would help him immensely in making decisions in his life. 

Armin would make you feel very comfortable around him and would do everything in his power to make sure you always feel that way around him. He loves having academic conversations with you and you both grow your knowledge together. He’s initially intrigued by your shyness, but as soon as you open up to him more, he falls deeply in love with you. I think once Armin falls in love, he’d love passionately and deeply for a very long time, and over time that love and admiration will just continue to grow for you. 

What Dates with Armin Look Like:

Armin takes a lot of time out of his busy schedule to spend with you

Whether it’s just lounging at home together late at night, or going to dinner together at the end of a busy day, he loves spending time with you 

Hence why you guys usually have cute little study dates together

Be it at a library or at one of your homes, just being together and studying ANYTHING in each others presence is comforting for you guys 

If you have any questions about anything Armin jumps at the opportunity to help you out—scooting in close to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

Whenever you explain something to him correctly after he explained it to you when you needed help, he rewards you with a kiss 

He also comes to you for help if you’re knowledgeable about the topic and fondly watches you as you explain it to him (you’ll probably have to explain it again bc he was too focused on the way your lips were moving to listen the first time DHDJSKDJ)

After your study date, you’d go home and cook with each other until it’s time for him to go home (unless you invite him to spend the night. He won’t say no to that!)

Daichi:

Technical: Daichi is an ENFJ, which is a perfect match for you as an INFP! You both thrive on those intellectual conversations and thrive to learn more about things together! As for your zodiac signs, he’s a Capricorn so things could be tough at first in terms of communication, but as soon as barriers are torn down, you two would have a connection like no other, full of trust and growth!

Personable: Again, I think Daichi is someone you could have very deep, intellectual conversations with! He’s the captain of Karasuno, so he knows how to show confidence in public, especially on the court. He leaks comfort and would listen to all your problems enthusiastically. As your boyfriend, you would become his main priority. Though he may have trouble opening up to you about his own emotions unless you really dig deep and pull his complaints out of him, he won’t really express his own issues, but he’s ready to listen to yours. I don’t see Daichi as a partier, but rather a home-body who’d spend time practicing, or reading books about leadership to better improve his skills as captain, so you could both spend some quiet time together reading or just enjoying each other’s presence. 

He looks out for you in the stands whenever there’s a match, his eyes search for you until he finds you there and that just boosts his morale even more to see you supporting him. He’s equally as supportive towards you and your interests. He loves going swimming with you as it’s great exercise for him and he just wants to spend time with you doing something YOU love to do. Thanks to his leadership skills as a captain, he’s a great listener and offers you very helpful advice for any issues you may have. He’s also great at picking up body language cues so you don’t even need to tell him you’re feeling a certain way, he’d know just by your change in demeanor. In busy, public situations, Daichi is in control which takes the pressure off you. His comforting hand is always holding yours, giving you gentle squeezes in support. 

What Dates with Daichi Look Like:

He is pretty occupied with captain duties and practicing volleyball, but in his free moments, he’s always with you

He knows about your love for hot chocolate, so you both have this tradition on finding new, quaint coffee shops that sell hot chocolate

You’re both on a mission to find the best hot chocolate in the world, so those searches for coffee shops sticks wherever you go on trips outside of the country together

He loves watching the way your eyes light up once you take a sip of the rich chocolatey drink in your hands

He either gently wipes the cream on your lips of kisses it away to get a taste for himself

Aside from your cute hot chocolate dates, your dates are usually on the court along with a celebratory meal together after his match; whether his team is victorious or not

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 9/19/2022

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

sorry this took me a while to get to!!

Historical or Futuristic

Defff prefer historical stuff. Idk I’m not really into sci-fi? Usually I write/read semi-modern or fantasy stuff. I have a soft spot for dystopian settings tho :D

Opening or Closing Chapter

I’m gonna be honest here, I have never written an ending chapter. And I don’t know how to! I’m bad at finishing things! It’s much easier for me to begin. And not even at the beginning. I just write something from the middle of a silly plot in my head and post it and just be like “here’s 3 sentences of explanation, have fun” and that’s my idea of an opening chapter woohoo.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Seriously, mad respect to the people who can write fluff. I can’t. I am anti fluff. All characters need to be in situations. Dark and gritty stuff is great but I think my tastes lie a bit in between. It can’t be all dark and gritty. Gotta be a little light stuff in there. Something to hope for. Otherwise I get depressed. 

Animal Companion or Found Family

I have a cat. I do not have a lowkey kinda shit family forcing me to rely on friends for all my family needs. I think my OCs usually end up with nice friend groups rather than like found family stuff specifically. Also one of my OCs has a time kitty who can control time. I think that’s really cool.

Horror or Romance

Look. Cocaine Bear vs Hallmark movies. I know which I’d rather watch. Obviously cocaine bear is not peak horror lmao but girl I am literally so tired of the romance genre and it’s 6 million cishet white man and cishet white girl fall in love Twilight-ass bullshit 😭 Also I’m aromantic. Romance isn’t cool unless it’s dysfunctional and toxic as fuck but not in like the heterosexual way in the queer way. If you get what I mean. Or they eat each other. Idk man. Horror is better. Honestly I think whump could count as a form of horror itself--some of the most horrifying stories I’ve read have been other people’s whump pieces. Horror is fucked up and owns it and I like that. I could go on but let’s leave it there.

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

Look I am so bad at making consistent rules. I just get a silly idea and I’m like “yeah I’ll make that work.” I could never make a comprehensive system for all this unless I bullshitted it. It feels like inventing math.

Stand Alone or Series

Literally can’t consistently write a series for the life of me. The devil grants me my writing skills and he gifts me motivation at completely random times for completely random ideas. The shit I post? That’s up to Satan, baby. Also I’m bad at making series so everything ends up being stand alone anyways just in case I never write the next one. I love love love reading series tho. Shoutout to writers who can do that I love you all very much.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+ 

Just look at my masterlist. My WIPs folder has like 10 projects in there. Never, ever have I been able to do one project at a time. Too many silly ideas in this accursed brain.

One Award Winner or One Bestseller 

I’d get embarrassed if so many people read my book,,, also I feel like winning an award is easier to brag about. Actually no if I do become a published author, I would ideally like to have a small but dedicated fanbase that makes a fuck ton of video essays and dissertations about my book. Also they have to be at least 10 years late.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi 

I like the silly things you can do in fantasy. Like immortality and curses and stuff. Idk how to explain it man. Also fantasy outfits are cooler sorry.

Character Description or Setting Description 

I am so bad at settings. Theyre all kinda vague in my head. Characters I’m better at. Also cuz I usually get a visual reference for them so it’s easier to describe them.

First Draft or Final Draft 

If I can get to it, that is.

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tagging uhhhh anyone who wants to jump in cuz I am become Tired and I cannot do a thought rn. have fun guys :D

This or That Tag

Thanks @verkja for the tag!

Historical or Futuristic

Hm…I prefer to write in a setting that’s loosely based on irl historically-inspired timelines. It serves as a sort of backdrop I can manipulate into an entirely different setting— which works great for writing fantasy. But if I’m reading, I love a futuristic setting.

Opening or Closing Chapter

Okay I love both but an opening chapter sets the stage— it can have so much tension and I love it when a story hits the ground running.

Light and Fluffy or Dark and Gritty

Dark and gritty! Serious undertones and desperate characters and the snap of a lighter in the background? Yes please.

Animal Companion or Found Family

Well, I’ve never written a character with an Animal Companion before, so we’re going with Found Family.

Horror or Romance

Eh, neither. Romance stories really aren’t something I enjoy and Horror may be slightly better, but if I had a choice, I wouldn’t read horror either.

Hard Magic System or Soft Magic System

I like the creative license a soft magic system gives me. I have tried to write a hard magic system but I often box myself in with rules that contradict themselves…so soft magic system it is.

Stand Alone or Series

Cannot for the life of me write a stand alone. The stories always drag on way past the ending I had planned so I usually try to write in trilogies or in interconnected stories.

One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+

Oh lord, I wish I wasn’t juggling so many. But my brain refuses to just work on one WIP— always bringing in different ideas, like the jerk it is.

One Award Winner or One Bestseller

If I was ever traditionally published, then I’d have to go with the award winner. I feel like it would be more satisfying, but idk.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi

Fantasy. Yes. That’s all >:D

Character Description or Setting Description

I struggle more with setting description than with describing my characters. I guess I’m worried I’ll bore my readers by over describing the scenery, and so by default writing setting also bores me.

First Draft or Final Draft

Ha it would be great if I could finish either. But yeah, final draft— I can’t think of anything I want more than holding a completed manuscript in my hands.

tagging: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast, @another-whump-sideblog, @whump-queen, @whither-wander-whump— if you want to, no pressure!

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 10 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren was only made aware that Wen Ruohan had fixed things when he realized that two weeks had gone by without anyone saying anything about him personally and had, out of a sense of morbid curiosity, asked one of his teachers about it.

“Oh, didn’t you hear?” his teacher asked, nose deep in one of the musical scores they’d put together for the array project, hunting for the flaws. “The sworn brother business was just part of one of his schemes to gain additional power amongst the Great Sects.”

Having been involved in it, Lan Qiren wasn’t so sure about that. “What do you mean, honored teacher?”

“He’s been finding ways to form new ties with all the Great Sects, not just ours,” his teacher explained. “It’s all come out; some very clever people figured it out. There’s a new trade agreement with the Jiang sect that both sides were keeping hushed up, something going on with the head of the Nie sect that the Nie sect disciples are being especially close-mouthed about, and, of course, his new connection with the Jin sect…it’s really not that surprising that he decided to find a way into our Lan sect by trickery.”

His teacher said it casually, as if of course Lan Qiren's sworn brotherhood had been formed by a slightly underhanded maneuver rather than torture or rape or anything like that, and while of course that was in fact true, Lan Qiren was stunned by the fact that what passed for common knowledge in the cultivation world had been flipped on its head in such a short time.

Truly, Wen Ruohan’s cunning was boundless. It was a little frightening.

“Say,” his teacher added. “As his sworn brother, you’ll be attending the wedding, won’t you? You should bring back some stories!”

Lan Qiren stared blankly. “…what wedding?”

It turned out that Wen Ruohan’s new connection with the Jin sect was through a marriage. The bride wasn't surnamed Jin, that would be too much for most people to tolerate without some sort of excuse; she was instead from a powerful subsidiary sect that swore allegiance to the Wen sect, in keeping with Wen Ruohan’s preference for his own people above anyone else, but her mother was a branch cousin of the Jin sect and everyone said that it was obviously meant as a way to bind the sects together. They said Wen Ruohan had spoken openly of his desire for sons – as usual, no one mentioned the names of those of his descendants already in his sect’s memorial hall – and that there were high hopes associated with the union on both sides. The Jin sect was said to be already parading around the marriage as their newest political victory, trying to use the connection to their best advantage.

“How long has this been planned, do you think?” Lan Qiren asked Lan Yueheng, mostly out of lack of other people to ask; unsurprisingly, Lan Yueheng shrugged.

“It’s an engagement,” he said disinterestedly. “My cousin says the negotiations for an engagement can be as long or as short as everyone wants it. But surely no one would make a lifetime decision like that lightly? Not to mention an alliance between sects, however implicit. It must have been planned a long time ago.”

Lan Qiren wasn’t so sure. There was always the ambiguous situation between Wen Ruohan and Lao Nie to consider, and given the way Lao Nie had spoken during his visit, it sounded as if he had encouraged Wen Ruohan to come up with some clever way out of the situation, rather than suggesting that one already existed.

Moreover, he wasn’t sure that Wen Ruohan considered a marriage to be a lifetime decision. Hadn’t he been married before, had sons before? It was only that they had all died…

“Lan-er-gongzi!” A runner came up to him, saluting. “The Sect Leader asks that you report to the hanshi at once.”

“That’s probably your invitation,” Lan Yueheng said, sounding mildly disapproving – undoubtedly he thought weddings were a waste of time compared with doing experiments. Taking inspiration from his work with Lan Qiren in merging math and music, he’d recently expanded his interests from mathematics to alchemy, and Lan Qiren grimly foresaw many exploding furnaces in the Lan sect’s immediate future. At least they had some out-of-the-way places for him to work, or else there'd also be a lot of punishments for violating the rules about too much noise in Lan Yueheng's personal future. “It’ll probably make you miss the first week of this season’s classes, too…well, try not to be too bored.”

Sadly, Lan Qiren did not think being bored would be an option.

Sure enough, when he arrived at the hanshi where his father and brother were waiting alongside several sect elders, the subject of discussion was the invitation he had received to attend the wedding.

“As Sect Leader Wen’s sworn brother, naturally you must attend,” his brother told him. “We will also be sending a delegation from the Lan sect to attend on our behalf officially, but your position is different. You must be careful not to offend anyone.”

Lan Qiren saluted. “I will do my best.”

“Sect Leader Wen will not be kind if you lose face for him, especially at his wedding, even if it is inadvertent - or even if what you do is perfectly correct by our standards,” one of the other elders, one of the older teachers, the well-respected if sleepy one, said. He sounded concerned on Lan Qiren's behalf, which Lan Qiren appreciated. “You must especially take care not to offend his new bride. Even where the marriage is made for the purpose of power and there is no expectation of love, a man does not like to have disturbances in his back courtyard.”

“Especially if the stories are true and Sect Leader Wen hopes for sons,” the teacher in swordsmanship responded, his voice a little acidic. He was still unhappy with Lan Qiren over what had happened during their visit to the Nightless City; Lan Qiren did his best to avoid him whenever possible. “I doubt Sect Leader Wen will persist in trying to raise one of our children once he has one of his own.”

That explained the sour expressions on the faces of his brother and some of the elders, Lan Qiren thought. They had hoped to use him to manipulate Wen Ruohan, though the exact method of how they would have done so escaped him no matter how he analyzed the words he had overheard that night in the hanshi, and Wen Ruohan had neatly evaded their snare with a countermove of his own – as with weiqi, so with politics, he assumed. A disappointment, as always.

“A brotherhood is for life,” Lan Qiren’s father said, voice distant as always, neutral as always. “There are ten months at minimum before any son is born, and all the years after; even if Sect Leader Wen forgets about his obligations, that does not mean that we must. There will be other opportunities.”

“Provided Qiren does not provide grounds for Sect Leader Wen to abjure the relationship,” his brother interjected.

“I will try my best not to do so,” Lan Qiren said again, stiff as always, though he suspected his brother was simply stating a fact rather than casting doubt on him. “When should I prepare myself to depart?”

“The delegation leaves tomorrow morning,” his brother said. “You will need to give a personal gift to your sworn brother in addition to the sect’s gift. I have selected several options; come with me to pick the one you prefer.”

Lan Qiren saluted the elders and wordlessly followed his brother to the treasury. He liked none of the gifts his brother had selected, thinking that they all seemed a bit too gaudy even for a recipient whose tastes tended toward the luxurious – a bit more Lanling Jin than Qishan Wen, and not at all something he would select for himself – but eventually he chose a heavy golden crown that seemed to be not too far from the ones that he’d seen Wen Ruohan wear in the past.

“Not the dagger?” his brother asked, his voice thick with irony that Lan Qiren did not understand, nodding towards another of the options, a golden-hilt blade so purely polished that one could see their reflection in it.

“Sect Leader Wen has a rich collection which we cannot hope to match,” Lan Qiren said, thinking of those peerless treasure swords rusting away as wall decorations in Wen Ruohan’s bedroom. “Moreover, it’s a wedding, which represents two parts joining together into a single whole, while a gift of a knife implies severing. It is therefore inappropriate for such an occasion.”

“Brothers who have shared blood cannot be separated. It is a suitable gift from a sworn brother.”

Lan Qiren looked down at the options, feeling a little helpless. “If you would like me to change my selection…”

“The guan is fine,” his brother said, and shook his head, seeming almost a little pitying. “You are very good to be concerned with your sworn brother’s feelings, no matter how your relationship came about. Too much goodness can be seen as weakness, you know.”

I thought I wasn’t supposed to be making trouble? Lan Qiren thought to himself. Still, since his brother did not seem inclined to elaborate, he handed the gift to one of the servants to be put into an appropriate box.

In actuality, he had already selected a personal gift of his own, shortly after he had first heard about the impending wedding – it had seemed reasonable that he would need to send a gift, even if he didn't expect to actually be invited, and it had not occurred to him that he would be allowed to utilize the sect treasury for such a thing. He’d gone to Caiyi Town and purchased a small set of drinking bowls, applying the glaze himself as the artisan spun the pots; they had gone into the kiln immediately thereafter, and he was expecting the delivery today – in fact, it was probably already waiting in his room.

He would pack the set up with his personal items and give it to Wen Ruohan anyway, he decided. After all, he’d opted to do the design in Wen sect red rather than Lan sect blue, rendering it useless for his own purposes, and it would be worse to simply throw it away or to let it sit and gather dust. Being frugal is a virtue, after all.

Of course, if he were truly being frugal, he would have told his brother that he did not need an additional gift and left the guan alone, but he didn’t want to reject his brother’s kindness, either, rare as it was. Better to just eat the loss of the funds and have Wen Ruohan think him a spendthrift…

“Sect Leader Wen will undoubtedly have you stay in the Sun Palace during your visit,” his brother said abruptly, and Lan Qiren looked at him: his brother wasn’t looking at him, but into the distance, and his fingers twitched at his side in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness. “As his sworn brother, it would be inappropriate for him to put you in the guest quarters, or to fail to allow you free mobility through the Nightless City.”

“That seems likely,” Lan Qiren agreed hesitantly, not sure why his brother was mentioning it.

“He is fortunate that you are not naturally observant,” his brother said. “Otherwise one might fear that you would use the opportunity to learn more about how the Wen sect works – its treasures, its secrets. Its plans for the future.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that,” Lan Qiren said quickly. “Have courtesy and integrity, after all. Even if I were to discover something incidentally, naturally I would be honor-bound not to share it without informing Sect Leader Wen that I had done so.”

His brother sighed, his fingers abruptly unclenching. “Of course you would. How could anyone doubt it…I don’t suppose you’ve ever given any thought to Do not forget the grace of your forefathers?”

“Of course I have. That’s one of the fundamental rules,” Lan Qiren said, now absolutely bewildered. “That we should live up to the expectations of our ancestors, both in our good conduct and discipline, and in supporting our sect so that our descendants may honor them equally.”

His brother shook his head. “Sometimes I really don’t understand you. You were tricked into an oath like a virgin maiden into a sweet-talker’s bed, weren't you?” he said. Lan Qiren really didn’t understand how his brother’s mind worked that he kept changing subjects like this. “I just wonder that you aren’t more resentful of the one that did it, the way anyone else would be. The way you act, you’d think Sect Leader Wen had done you a favor; you’re so considerate of him.”

Lan Qiren thought his brother might be being sarcastic, but he wasn’t very good at determining such things. “Even if the manner in which we became sworn brothers was unorthodox, the oaths have still been sworn,” he said, a little haltingly. “I cannot control his actions, only my own. Just because he might not be a good brother doesn’t mean I can’t be – isn’t that right?”

His brother glared at him. “If you have something to say, Qiren, you can say it directly.”

Lan Qiren was at an utter loss. “I – was?”

“Your teachers say that you’re brilliant,” his brother said, voice suddenly very cold. “I often wonder whether they’re not growing too old for their work.”

“I don’t –”

“Never mind. You’re dismissed.”

Lan Qiren saluted and returned to his quarters, puzzling over the conversation as he packed away his things for the trip. Was his brother trying to warn him against anyone encouraging him to act as a spy? Or was he trying to convince him to act as a spy himself? But if it was the latter, why wouldn’t he just say so? If it were truly necessary for some reason, for the good of the sect…

Was he supposed to volunteer?

But that would be truly breaking the oath of brotherhood – of which he still didn’t know the contents…

Lan Qiren supposed that, at least, was one thing he would be able to fix: very soon, he would be seeing his sworn brother again for the first time since they’d sworn their oaths.

Maybe he’d find a way to ask.