STE.VEN UNI.VERSE HICFANFIC
Oooh, I like that, I might use that for all my hicfics I post here...
Anyway-
Reblogs and interactions are fine, but no reposting or sharing anywhere.
This story was written a long long time ago, looking back at it...it's not terrible and I actually don't hate this.
CW:
-inaccurate gem anatomy (I'm pretty sure the Gems are made completely of light, they don't have diaphragms...probably)
-eating hot pepper
-betting
-laughing/teasing other people's torment
-bird mom loving her son
-pls let me know if I need to add more
And without further ado, I give you...
Pepper + Hot Sauce = Trouble
“C’mon, P! You gotta do it!” Amet.hyst cheered.
Pe.arl was sitting on the couch and in front of her was a Carolina Reaper dipped in extremely hot hot sauce.
“Can't I do something else?” Pe.arl replied as she looked at the pepper in disgust.
“A deal’s a deal. You lost.”
Pe.arl sighed remembering the bet they’d made. Amet.hyst betted that Pe.arl couldn't go a week without cleaning, and Pe.arl betted that Amet.hyst couldn't go a week without eating.
“It was just a dirty sock!” Pea.rl cried.
“Hey, guys! What's going on?” Ste.ven asked as he walked in the room.
“Pe.arl lost a bet, so Ame.thyst is making her eat a pepper doused in hot sauce,” Gar.net explained.
“Oh, this is gonna be good! I'll go get the milk!” Ste.ven bounced excitedly to the fridge to get the dairy product. “Got it!”
He brought it over to the table and Pe.arl looked at him.
“What's that for?” She asked curiously.
“It helps, trust me.”
“Just eat it already!” Amet.hyst cried out.
Pe.arl gulped. She wasn't prepared for this. She wasn't comfortable with this, it entailed eating for Pete’s sake.
“Here goes,” Pe.arl picked up the saucy pepper, closed her eyes as she trembled a little in fear, and carefully placed it in her mouth.
Amet.hyst, Ste.ven, and Gar.net all watched in pure excitement and curiosity. Pe.arl finally bit off the stem and she started chewing it.
Heat, no, fire. Fire was what she felt on her tongue at the moment. She whimpered and whined as beads of sweat fell down her face.
“So, how is it?” Ste.ven asked, since he was recording and Amet.hyst was trying to stifle laughs.
Pe.arl looked straight into the phone’s camera and squeaked, “It's hot.”
Ste.ven giggled, Gar.net smirked, and Amet.hyst was on the floor laughing wildly.
“Guys, I…I think I'm…melting!” She cried.
“You're not melting,” Gar.net snorted.
“Don't forget to swallow it,” Ame.thyst laughed.
Pe.arl groaned and swallowed the pepper pieces. Her eyes grew in shock and fear. She thought her mouth was hot, but now her throat and insides were hot as well. Her face was flushed a beautiful turquoise and tears were brimming at her eyes.
“This is worse!” Pe.arl cried.
“Drink the milk,” Ste.ven suggested with a smile.
“I'm not drinking out of the-hic!- carton, oh-hiccup!-no.”
Pe.arl covered her mouth in embarrassment as her diaphragm jumped again.
Ame.thyst was gasping for air, Ga.rnet was snickering, and Ste.ven gasped.
“I didn't know Gems could get hiccups,” he said.
“It's extremely rare for Gems to get them,” Ga.rnet explained, “but it can happen, since we have diaphragms…Pe.arl’s usually the one with the hiccups around here.”
“Hey! I-hic!-I haven't had-hiccup!-the hiccups in-huc!-a thousand-hup!-years!” Pe.arl crossed her arms.
“But it's still pretty darn funny when you get them!” Amet.hyst laughed.
“Hmph! Hiccuh! Ugh, why me?” Pe arl groaned.
“I'll be right back,” Ste.ven said and hurried to the kitchen to get a glass.
He came skipping back to the living room. He poured some milk into the glass for her.
“Drink it,” he handed it to her.
“Th-HIC!-ahem! Thank you, Ste.ven. hic!” Pe.arl accepted the glass and drank the cold liquid.
Ste.ven smiled widely as he awaited the aftermath. Pe.arl stopped when the glass was half full. A smile made a way onto her lips.
“Aah, that-hic-helps with the heat,” Pe.arl sighed in relief.
“See? Told you it’d help,” he said proudly.
“Hic! Ugh, but these hiccups-hulp!-may stay for a-hiccup!-while.”
Pe.arl drank the rest of the milk in her glass and Stev.en poured her some more. She smiled at the boy as a thanks for helping her get through this. Soon enough, the heat subsided, the hiccups stayed, and Ste.ven was sitting on her lap hugging her. His head would rise with every loud hiccup Pe.arl would hiccup, but he was fine with it. And soon enough he dozed off to sleep with Pea.rl sitting back comfortably and her arms cuddled around Ste.ven’s body.
“I love you, Pe.arl,” Ste.ven mumbled in his sleep.
She smiled and kissed his forehead. “I love you too-hmc-Ste.ven.”
And the two of them stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon.
~Fin~
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Okay so basically let me restate what I think I’ve learned from reading some “how to tumblr” posts.
Making random “my random tossed-off thoughts of the day” posts like I would on twitter is not discouraged. I don’t have to worry about being the funniest dude ever before I start tagging my posts, especially when I am on this new account. Right? I don’t have to, like, “earn my tagging rights”?
Reblogging is preferred over replies because it puts it on my timeli—dashboard, but also still counts as the OP’s post? This is the weirdest thing to me, QRTs on twitter are sort of like me trying to shout over the OP and in this it’s the encouraged way?
Meanwhile, liking a post without a reblog is bad because… I guess because all it does is tweak my algorithm but not boost the post? I guess I’m unclear how liking is bad.
Also, following just about anybody is okay? Seems like I’m gonna have to spend some time curating what I see.
I’ll be perfectly honest I’m currently paranoid that I’m a 2-followed account and therefore am Totally Invisible even when I put things on tags, so I don’t want to make a Bad Post and get totally blacklisted
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