#learning how to draw is the perfect amount of figuring out how to solve small design decisions

[roguefiction]

art practice: 01/30 - Emma D'arcy's Muse outfit When I first saw the black lines in this sweater I knew I wanted to draw it. I loved how it makes the contour of the body conspicuous. I originally wanted a quick sketch practice to be around 30 mins but this took around 2hrs. The face and the shading took 50% ish of the time. But this was fun. I've been enjoying learning how to draw people again.

[palettepainter]

Could we have a looksee at Haiya’s parents? The ones he had before being adopted by evtoplasm and Powerloader

Here are the dick parents-

I’m still figuring out parts to their story so I’ll drop some notes here too just so I don’t forget them

WARNINGS: Mentions of emotional abuse

-Haiya’s dad Juden was generally a good student. He was his classes class representative and is very good at organizing events. His quirk isn’t the best in terms of brute force, and the draw back being he has to create a large amount of static by moving if he wants to really affect an objects movement. The business world can be harsh, so Juden learns to adapt to the harsh world of work - he’s very good at twisting words and arguments in his favor. Due to the nature of how his quirk works he knew becoming a top hero would be much more of a challenge, accepting this fact is something he has trouble dealing with, to the point that if it’s brought up into an argument he’ll become very enraged (it’s one of the few things that can break his aloof, calm facade)

-Haiya’s mother Sokudo is a tough student born with a quirk far stronger then Juden’s. Sokudo as a child is confident and bold, filled with spunk and energy, when her quirk came through all the attention and adoration from her family and friends gave her an ego boost, which was only made worse when her family got her into a top hero school on recommendations. This put her in the mindset that she deserved to be the number one hero! She was obviously far more gifted then anyone else in the class, and she proves this fiercely by climbing to the top of her class. Despite her strengths Sokudo did not have a good reputation, and had a habit of starting fights with those she thought where stronger then her, as well as being known for going overboard in training. Sokudo does not believe in her own limitations (when she’s an adult she matures and learns to not go full out crazy), and views anything else other then physical training to be a waste. Her over enthusiasm can be mistaken for stubbornness, and this only made her reputation worsen among her classmates  

-Juden and Sokudo where not friends in high school despite being in the same course. Sokudo didn’t care for making friends and didn’t go out of her way to try and make conversation even in joint training. Juden had heard of Sokudo through other people in his class, and didn’t think much of her until around their second year when Juden had begun to take an interest in the business world, but had yet to figure out how to still make it to the top. Juden sees an opportunity in Sokudo, and Sokudo see’s right through his act, and turns him down. She was powerful, not an idiot. Juden remains calm and persistent, and his efforts are worth it. In the start of their third year Juden and Sokudo form some kind of alliance, really the two where just using the other to achieve their own goals: there was no real friendship between them. Sokudo was using Juden’s boost quirk to give her even more speed, to accelerate beyond the limits others had given her. And Juden was using Sokudo’s popularity to make himself known. This arrangement continues on after their graduation, but things don’t stay good for the two for long

-Sokudo became a pro hero, but could not go beyond being a sidekick. Her attitude and overly violent fighting style could often be seen as off putting, this was something she couldn’t understand - they where supposed to beat up villians, so what was the big deal? Who cares if she roughed them up bit. Who cares if she didn’t give the press or her fans much attention? No one said she had to be, she’s just here to live the high life. Her stubborn nature leads to her and Juden falling into fights, Juden taking the place as her right hand in the office and side kick on the field (Juden knew he was the brains behind her entire career, but he allowed Sukudo to believe she was in charge the whole time) is often the one dealing with teh consequences of Sokudo’s actions, which left him feeling more like her babysitter then work partner. Their fights become more and more frequent, until fights would break out over the smallest and mundane things. Juden reconsiders going solo with the way things where going for him, but that would mean more work in the long run as he’d have to build up an entire new work relationship with another hero, so that was a last resort. He looks into other methods, ponders for months on how to properly bring himself to the place in society he deserved. Juden had heard of quirk marriages, but had never considered the idea until he hit rock bottom. Sokudo, naturally, was not fond of the whole marriage idea, Juden was too much of a hoity toity for her tastes. Juden did not view her as his type either, far from, but with his way with words he persuades her, this could be just the thing they needed, so that they could both get what they deserved. What she deserved. 

-During Sokudo’s pregnancy the two put up the act of being a happily married couple when out in public, at home, it was a different story: Juden was strict in what Sukudo could and couldn’t do, and Sukudo acted like a whinny child the entire time. It was straining for both of them, but he pay off was worth it when they are gifted a baby boy - Haiya - who as they hoped, was gifted with both quirks when he turned five. Sukudo was eager to start training (btw want to clarify here their way of training wasn’t the Endevour way of training, Sukudo nor Juden ever laid a hand on Haiya despite how bad they where as parents), but Haiya just wasn’t all that interested in being the strongest, he much rather preferred to climb trees or colour. Sokudo is confused at her sons behavior, stating that neither of those things would get him far in life, didn’t he want to be someone people adored? Didn’t he want to put that power to use? What good was having such powerful quirks if Haiya didn’t use them? Sokudo didn’t intend to be mean, but her harsh wording and her uninterested tone made it come off as more of an insult - she would praise Haiya..when he did stuff she thought worth praising. Juden neither was very good at being a dad. He already had short patience, which only got worse when he and Sokudo started working together. He couldn’t understand why Haiya couldn’t solve a simple maths equation, or read a small block o text, or complete the homework his teachers set him, and he was bad at hiding at his annoyance at times. His parents had high expectations for Haiya, which Haiya - being a small child - just couldn’t meet 

- His parents sent him to a high expectations hero school out in Tokyo which was run by members of the hero public safety commission, but one year into his education and Haiya began to have increased difficulty in moving his arms. Haiya returned home the same year after failing a physical combat exam, where his parents made the discovery after a trip to the doctors of the condition with Haiya’s arms, and how it was likely in years to come in his adult life, he’d soon loose all mobility with them. His parents where frustrated at this failure, angry at the other for something neither could control - Juden blaming Sokudo that her recklessness caused Haiya to be born with weak arms, and Sokudo blaming Juden and his dumb quirk for messing them up. They begin home schooling Haiya in a last, desperate attempt to fufill their goals. More and more each day Haiya began to loose movement in his arms, and more and more his parents began to view him more as a ticket to their own successes, rather then a child who just wanted to do his own thing.

-The day Haiya had his arms removed in surgery was a shocking day to both of them, they felt ashamed, angry and spiteful of the other, their fighting continuing on even after they had Haiya sent away to live in a family in Tokyo until they could think of a solution, Despite this, they stay together - not because they hoped for a ‘happy family’, not becasue they wanted to put up the act of happy parents for their son - just because the two needed the other to get where they wanted. Sokudo needed Juden’s smarts, and Juden needed Sokudo’s strength - and they both needed Haiya, the perfect mix of both of them. Later on down the line Haiya runs away from his adoptive family, and finds his home shuffling around Tokyo, until he winds up in the therapy centre and in the care of Ectoplasm

-Not really related to Haiya’s parents but gonna put it here anyway. Haiya still suffers from occasional nightmares of his parents, and has a deep fear of disappointment because of them, often thinking that he HAS to do his best, otherwise he’s not accomplishing anything. As well as that Haiya also isn’t keen to try new things out of his comfort zone, linking to his fear of disappointment - but he’s gradually coming out of his shell with the help of people from UA.

-(This is something I want to explore more with my characters to make them a bit more related to some audience members, this is the first time I’ve decided to incorporate this into a character so forgive me if I make some mistakes. Also going to add that if you have dyslexia and are in any way offended by this I’m sorry, that was no my intention. Again, first time writting a character with dylesixa) Haiya has mild dyslexia, it’s one of the reasons he struggles so much in school when he was younger, but his parents never caught on to his disability - in Haiya’s case has difficulty interpreting words and letters, easily distracted and has trouble remembering verbal instructions. Haiya himself didn’t know he had dyslexia until he came to live at the centre. Eri who runs the centre gives children living their books to read as well as simple educational quizzes to keep them up to date, Haiya struggles with quizzes and so was brought aside by Eri so that she could help him understand the problems. Haiya at the time of learning he had dyslexia was very upset about it, it made him think he was dumb or inferior to others. With Eri and eventually’s Ectoplasm’s and Powerloaders help he’s learning to find ways to manage his dyslexia. Haiya keeps a calendar to help him remember and plan his day, carries a notebook to write down his thoughts to certain tasks, practices decoding words and reading small pieces of writing and he also has a cubix cube and lego pieces to help him relax.

Haiya still gets emotional and panicked when presented with tests, but he’s gotten a lot better

[ranmanjuu]

Me again sorry if I’m spamming can request how the boys react to going to the future with mc be everywhere’s in lockdown thank you and stay safe love you~ (๑ゝω╹๑)

there’s probably a shit ton of them hcs around these parts and i feel like i’m just re-wording a lot of things so like,, ahaha i’m sorry. also the character cast is u-t forces cause ngl we have a lot of oda forces request previously and the coming requests dw just showing love to my kasugayama boys

—shingen:

the moment you stepped into the good ol’ modern times, the first thing you realized was that there’s a pandemic going on and with shingen being immunocompromised, it’s surely a danger more than ever. without a word, you quickly drag him into your apartment first thing’s first.

you quickly told him to take a shower (to which he’d probably jokingly invite you in, but to be fair, he doesn’t really know how bathtubs and shower heads are used). you didn’t have men’s clothing, not for his size so to say, so you just settled with your big, stretchy jackets you had.

after explaining the situation, you did consider going to the hospital for his treatment,, on one hand, if shingen doesn’t do it, he’ll. . .you know. and if he does, there’s a chance that he could get infected (with hospitals being a breeding ground for the virus). 

in the end, you decided to do it.

even after that, you were always careful with things like going out, mostly you taking care of the shopping and everything. you kept reminding him to wash his hands, social distance, etc.

and frankly, while he understands social distancing, he doesn’t like it. he just wants to hug and kiss his deity lover! prepare for the man to just recite poems so damn dramatically for this.

(^ this includes the amount of pickup lines increasing by a lot. the fact that he can now search some up from google doesn’t help.)

there’s a lot of things you do in quarantine, and you’ve found that the amount of carpentry has increased significantly prior to this.

said carpentry ranges from tables and chairs, to small decoration carvings of birds and the likes. the smell of wood now wafts in the air more than ever.

you’ve now replaced yukimura for his dieting of sweets. his illness may be gone, but teeth problems could still arise! but shingen can have some modern candy once in a while, as a treat. 

as for the reaction of the future in general—shingen finds it so, so warming how relatively peaceful it is compared to the sengoku. yes, protests are happening and there’s practically a new type of war going on (he most certainly advocates for human rights, etc), but it’s a step to a new light. a world he wants.

—kenshin:

you’ve had conversations of the future before—most of them on a,,, bizzare note, with the topic being on swords and war (or lack thereof), etc. a silent agreement was made between you two to not have kenshin be in the future since he’s missing one of the things he ‘needs to live with’ (them being war, sake, and you).

but a lot of improv had to be done when the wormhole was much more stubborn and managed to pull you through.

right after you figured out what happened, a security guard immediately came and told you to wear a mask (considering it’s a must). you had to haul kenshin back to your house before he attacks the guard with his sword.

after cleaning the two of you from any virus, you began running things over to him about the future. aaaand he’s already thinking about keeping you in your house by any means so you don’t get caught by it.

but you managed to convince him otherwise, you did have to go shopping and the thought of kenshin doing it with all the foreign technology around him made you sweat nervously.

no, kenshin, sake isn’t a need but you will buy it for him cause he won’t be able to survive, you feel.

you thought a peaceful modern world was bad enough for kenshin to reside in, ohoho, wait until you realize he can’t even go outside and fight sasuke and all that jazz.

a thought crossed your mind to learn how to duel and fight using mop sticks but he shot down that thought.

in the meantime, most of your days were spent in the garden with his sea of bunnies (how they got there, you don’t know) and mostly tending to them so they don’t contract the virus (kenshin almost flipped when you told him that rabbits could do that).

and by night, you spent it by looking out to the city skies (but the light from the buildings doesn’t hit like the stars do) and drinking sake.

he’d also be against social distancing, but—unsurprisingly—only to you. after a while that rule goes out the window as he cuddles you to death from being touch-starved.

i feel like he’d be interested in the past (or future, to him) wars just because. he’d read up about the wars from all sorts of places. and sometimes, you’d catch him with a deadly smile and say, “that sounds like a great idea, i should wage one like that.”

you had to remind him no, you can’t start a war cause you want to.

—yukimura:

he’d flip straight up by the idea of there being a pandemic in your time. you never talked about this when you told him you came from the future!

he’d probably groan at first with the thought of having to hole up for a long time, but he’d quickly understand. it’s for the benefit of the immunocompromised and the old, he’d like to help by following the rules.

besides, he has you. he’ll cope.

at first, his plan was for you to just let him do all the work during lockdown, like going out and stuff. he was non-chalant, if a bit stubborn.

until you mention groceries.

you start firing him questions, do you know what we need? do you know how much of it we need? or which one is which at all?

he shuts up after that.

yukimura will definitely do those workout things on youtube, and you’ll probably be roped into it. rip to you but you’re gettin’ buff during these lazy times.

small, silly arguments would most likely be the norm for you. it’s a bit of spicy bickering back and forth, you both find it amusing and it’s a way to stimulate the brain, no matter how stupid the topic is.

it can range from if mugwort mochi is better than chestnut dumplings, and you’ve even gone out to search for light topics to have small debates over.

occasionally, he’d invite you outside to watch the skies. the colorful lights from the tall buildings kind of reminds you of the loud fireworks during the festival back in the sengoku—only if they became stars instead.

much like shingen, yukimura is thankful of the positive changes in the future. horrible things may have stayed, but as long as there are people advocating for a fair and peaceful world, he can spend his days beside you.

—sasuke:

as any situation, sasuke was prepared as ever. the second you went to the modern days, he pulled out a spare mask (dw it’s clean) from his pocket and handed it to you. remembering the rule of mandatory masks, you quickly put it on.

you couldn’t really have a discussion about time-travel in the open, so you both went to your apartment.

sasuke is definitely well-versed in the virus, dumping most everything he knows unto you to better arm you with it yourself.

somehow, he could calculate how much groceries and overall shopping in any timeframe. a month, two, etc. so you find yourself bringing him out shopping with you.

since he’s now in the modern world, the amount of him being holed up kinda increases. if he’s learnt so much from a youtube tutorial, imagine the absolute machine he’d be by the end of it.

yeah he’s that guy who learns 45 million skills.

sasuke might seem unbothered by having to keep distance from you, but he really isn’t. you can tell; by the way his lips tighten, or the way his eyebrows furrow sometimes.

would regularly remind you to wash your hands, and would always say to take a bath each time you go home from the outside. if you’re ever sick, he’ll somehow have the perfect medicine ready.

you binge watch shows all the time, it’s another form of bonding cause you two already know about them. you’d spend nights on the couch with a blanket and snacks, discussing about things ranging from theories to crack cotent.

you really wouldn’t trade it for the world.

—yoshimoto:

honestly, yoshimoto isn’t even much interested in the future. mostly just how far art’s gotten (and trust me, it’s gotten so far). such is the situation when the wormhole caught you two.

he probably got sidetracked from the first art he could see (probably street art in this scenario) after you barely identified you went to the future.

again you must haul this pretty man after being told off by a security guard for not wearing a mask.

your biggest problem is probably his massive fascination with modern art. endless hours were used to have a talk that, no, he can’t go to an exhibit right now.

so you improvise.

you gave him a hand-me-down phone, or just share a laptop, and teach him the concept of digital art, along with how to operate certain social medias so he can browse around.

downside is he is currently—and unknowingly— planning to get you broke by commissioning artists. also he may or may not’ve been doing posting questionable things on his accounts (you really shouldn’t’ve given him one,,)

and so to fix the problem created to solve a problem, you decided to take it into your own hands.

popping out all the drawing supplies you’ve ever had, you began to doodle anything and everything, every day. and each one, you’d show it off to yoshimoto like a child to their parent.

and each time, he still looks at them so lovingly, no matter if it could hypothetically be classified as chicken scratches. as long as you make it, in his mind, it’ll be something worth cherished for.

but your strong suit has always been stitching, so you start a lot of projects of art on clothing. it counts as the one above.

oh—you know those pretty cloth masks? you now have about 100 of these at least, courtesy to yoshimoto.

[ratsoh-writes]

My curiosity got me, so here is my submission for a match up.  Sorry it’s so long!  I look forward to seeing your reasoning.

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

MOM FRIEND:  I’m the friend that is almost over prepared for any situation and is protective, usually keeping others out of too much trouble or danger, but not stopping them from doing that stupid thing.  Some people will only learn from doing it and so long as it won’t seriously injure or kill them, go for it.  And I mean I am seriously prepared for most situations:  I have fluffy throw blankets and pillows in my car for those who get cold, extra towels just in case we somehow get wet, umbrellas/ponchos for those who need one, snacks/water just in case someone gets hungry/thirsty, first aid kit for small injuries, etc. Ironically, I am the only one without a kid so far.  

Extension of this would be my habit to act as the friend “nurse.”  Willing to spend hours taking care of a friend who isn’t feeling well and give platonic cuddles if needed.

Another extension of this is my need to feed anyone who comes over.  I think my love language is acts of service after typing all this. 

I’M LISTENING:  Always willing to offer an ear, even if I don’t believe I can council you.  Plus, for some reason, people just end up splurging life stories or something that is bothering them to me.  My life is mostly spent as that Naruto meme: “I have no clue what is going on, but I’ll pretend that I do.”  But I’m responsible about it, I won’t offer advice I’m not sure about and will usually refer you to someone else I feel is up to the task.

PATIENT:  Earned after years in customer service dealing with toddlers disguised as customers and also with friends who far exceed my energy levels.  It takes a good bit to anger me or very specific things to set me off, such as when I have asked you to please stop bringing up that stressful memory of mine again and again. 

I am told I am terrifying when I’m actually pissed.  Most times I don’t remember much when I actually snap, just that it happened, but details are fuzzy.  

CHILL:  My counselor once told me if I “Was any more laid back, I’d be on her floor.” And to a point, she is correct.  My house was on fire and my reaction wasn’t panic at the time, it was this odd calm that even when I reported the fire to my sister and authorities, they didn’t believe me until I showed them said fire.  I am reserved with those I don’t know well or are not comfortable around.  Once I trust you or you get me on a topic I love, I’m surprisingly passionate and animated.  

I feel this fits under here, but I also tend to do things at my own pace.  And not much can change that pace, but I will get what I set out to do done.

WHY ME?:  Too many people tell me I’m a natural leader, even got awards for it, but I never volunteer or want to be the leader in anything.  Usually, I just end up in that role somehow, some way.  Most times because I hate disorganized messes and those times the people I am with have trouble making concrete decisions and need some guidance to work out what they really want to do or the pressure to actually make a decision.  I may be an unwilling leader, but I will step up if needed.

WHIMSICAL:  Sarcasm, dry and sometimes cheesy humour, and an attitude to boot, but it’s rarely to be mean.  Most times it is me being playful and if I’m teasing you, that usually is a sign I like you and enjoy your company.  Plus, sometimes people need a little laugh or a spark of different emotion to get them out of a funk.  

INTEGRITY:  I could absolutely despise someone, but like hell I’m going watch them suffer.  In the same sense, if I take a job, I will do it right and not half ass it.  And far too many times I’ve had to step in and explain certain concepts in order to disperse negativity or help others see from another perspective to avoid adversity.  

CUDDLE BUG:  With people I am comfortable with, I am a cuddly person and do not mind a lot of skinship.  I am used to friends hanging all over me.  Plus, sometimes I just want to curl up someone as well.  

  STRENGTHS:  

Observant

Good communication skills & honest

Responsible & reliable

Full Size Human Heater.  I am ridiculously warm and always putting off heat.  Friends and coworkers alike use me as a portable heater.

Surprisingly good at being sly and collecting information if needed, like getting a shoe or ring size without tipping the person off it’s for a gift.  If they manage to call it, I always fess up and playfully make a fuss they ruined the surprise.

  WEAKNESSES:  

Terrible at lying, so I tend to simply keep my mouth shut instead

Willfully oblivious to flirting and absolute flustered mess once I am forced to recognize said flirting

Vast open waters terrify me

Tendency to keep my troubles to myself and try to solve problems on my own (don’t want to be a burden)

Can become despondent if I feel useless at times

  HOBBIES:

ART:  I’ve dabbled in several different medias, but my favorite is just a pencil or pen and any paper I can get my hands on.  I love drawing figures in dynamic poses.  Second favorite is sculptures built from wire.

COSTUMES:  I love Halloween, since it is the perfect excuse to make and wear my homemade costumes.  It also lets me challenge myself by making more complicated pieces like hooves, horns, and even chain mail.

BAKING/COOKING/CANDY MAKING:  I’m the cook in the house and I love it.  Seeing people enjoy my food is my favorite part.  Just don’t ask me for a recipe, I literally don’t have any and I won’t remember what I did.  

ORGANIZING/CLEANING:  I love puzzle games like Tetris and Catherine, and I love a challenge.  Combine the two by having me organize and rearrange a space to make it work and I am in heaven.

STORYTELLING:  When a story needs to be told, I am the one asked to tell it. Specifically I have such an entertaining way of telling it according to others.  Animated and colorful language, plus a few pit stops along the way with some side stories.  

  PET PEEVES:

CONTRARY:  Do not tell me to do something while I am doing it.  That will kill any motivation I had to do it.

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS:  It is possible to compliment someone without insulting them or others at the same time.  It just makes the compliment feel empty and negative.  And I tend to just hum and not reward that behaviour.  

TOO MUCH ATTENTION:  I don’t mind attention… from people I trust and are comfortable with.  Feel free to cuddle and coddle away.  But vast amounts of attention from those I feel are strangers or acquaintances will unnerve me (I have literally left functions immediately  where I walked in and was bombarded with shouts and attention aimed at me-sensory overload I guess).

  ODD HABITS:

NESTING:  No, I don’t think I have enough blankets and pillows.  Yes, the giant stuffed animal is needed and his name is Snuffie.  

CRUSH ME:  I’m serious, some days I need one of my friends or my bf to just lay all their dead weight on top of me.  It’s just oddly therapeutic.

NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT:  Just cause I ate that jar of olives in one sitting or suddenly was craving jalapeno juice and crushed ramen noodles.  There are never enough pickles and yes, I am determined to try every kind–I may have a vinegar addiction.

IRONY:  I bake some of the tastiest, sweetest desserts and make pralines and caramels, YET I myself do not favor sweet things. 

HANDS:  One thing I tended to do with nearly every boyfriend and guy friend I had was play with their hands and put their hands on my face/head.  I lived for being pet and having people play with my hair.    

NONVERBAL MOMENTS:  Sometimes words are just too much, so I instead make sounds.  Can be anywhere from a growl to a cat like noise, or the reliable “Nyeh.”

NO NOs:

I think I listed a few as I went through everything else, but ignoring boundaries is the main one.  If I tell you I’m not comfortable with something, do not make me repeat myself.  And usually that something is given a pass the first few times it is done before I say something and explain why I’m not comfortable with it.   

Example:  I have thick, curly hair, a product of my mixed heritage.  Well, sometimes I like to straighten it and I did just that one day.  Well, a coworker decided to make a backhanded compliment, stating I should stick to what works: straight hair over my natural hair.  I had gotten on him about it, but I decided to vent to a friend about what happened as well.  She proceeded to constantly repeat those hurtful words and while I knew she meant it playfully during those times, I had to stop her and sit her down, explain I don’t find it funny cause the words are linked to a hurtful, possibly racist memory that I didn’t want brought up again and again.   Thankfully she understood and stopped.  So, I don’t snap immediately and I understand sometimes a sit down needs to be done.

Ok first of all I gotta say that I absolutely loved reading your matchup!!! It’s so well organized, detailed, and the descriptions are pretty creative!!! Do you do any writing yourself, because you should!!! alright, geek out moment over.

i’ve got three guys you’re perfect for, but let’s go for the obvious one. HONEY!! 

You’ve checked off everything on honey’s list: caring, organized, laid back, and good for cuddling. Now here’s what he has to offer to the table: he will cuddle you back. This guy is the ultimate cuddle slut. You’ll never feel unloved with him. Honey is also a very thoughtful and appreciative guy. He likes caring for his partners. You may be the mom friend, but he’ll do his best to return that love as well.

Honey is a little awkward, but he’s also sensitive and empathetic to how others feel. If he puts his foot in his mouth, just tell him and he’ll never bring it up again. Plus this guy is just so honest and genuine that backhanded compliments aren't really a thing with him. 

Also you like costumes!!! He’s always wanted to try cosplay or theatre. You just might be the person to give him the courage to finally stick to one. 

dating honey includes:

cuddles upon heaps of soft things. He has his own collections of ridiculously soft blankets and pillows that he’ll happily add to your collection. Honey is also a master at pillow forts. 

honey is a good listener. He’ll be happy to just sit back and enjoy the stories you tell. There is start though, who is also the storyteller of the underswap home. Any funny story you give about your time together will be rewarded by star with a funny story from his and honey’s childhood, much to honey’s embarrassment

if you don't really like sweet things but love baking them, then honey and star will happily finish them for you. People are usually surprised about how just how much skeleton monsters can pack away. 

he’s a picky eater and will give you the wtf face when you fufil your weird cravings though lol 

Oh! Also if you’re wondering, the other two would’ve been either oak or coffee

[chidoroki]

TPN ch180

(spoilers! i'm so broken)

I didn't want to be right. I didn't want to actually believe that Emma was lying. If anything, I thought she was just lying about staying with her family when they crossed over to the human world, knowing she would be separated, but this.. oh my god. This girl knew ever since ch143 that she was going to lose her memories of her family and straight up lied to them about it. Granted, only a few days passed from when she returned from The 7 Walls up until they all crossed over to the human world, but still, I.. don't know how to feel. I knew since the prison break she had great acting skills so I'm impressed that she managed to pull off yet another wonderful performance, but wow.. I really hoped she wouldn't! To keep such an important and life changing secret from her family, who are all so important to her, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her knowing this while dealing with the entire capital attack and GF plantation raid. Fighting so hard and succeeding in achieving a bright, happier future for everyone but herself.. ow, my heart.

Some people are fine with the memory loss, others aren't. If anything, at least she's the only one who forgot? I think it would've been worse if everyone else forgot about Emma instead, so having the promise only hurt her is fine.. well, it's not, clearly, but you get what I mean.

And if demon god wasn't on my nerves enough already, the little prat decides to basically photoshop every family member out of the photos Emma kept this entire time. I'm touched she still had the photos in her possession, but now this upsets me so much. Upon seeing the first set of raws and learning Emma lost her memories, I hoped that she could possibly remember them by looking back at these photos if she still had them. But no. Demon god doesn't want me to be happy or get my hopes up. It would've been such a cool idea though. We know Ray originally requested the camera because he needed to strobe for the taser, but he continued to take pictures, not only to keep up the act to prevent Isabella from getting suspicious, but to give said photos to Emma because he knew how important their family is to her. I would've loved it if something so important from the first couple arcs came back at the very end to help Emma regain her memories.

Not only that, but demon god also got rid of her id number? Like.. really? I don't know why that bothers me so much but it does. I know the id brands just proved that the kids were meant to be nothing but food. Of course I know that they're all so much more than that and I should be happy Emma lost hers, because it truly means she's free, but the number was a part of her you know? It would've been fine if every cattle child lost their identifier, but since it was only her it makes me think demon god wanted it to be that much harder for Emma to remember her past and family. That's what bothers me. That even now, after they all crossed over and don't have to deal with demons anymore, demon god still has the audacity ability to make Emma suffer. If she still had her number, I'm sure she would've questioned it, much like Ray did when he was younger (my mind thinks back to ch28, that one memory of him looking at his neck in a mirror). Maybe she would've realized that the people in her dreams also have the same neck numbers, if only faintly. (it must be so weird for Demizu to draw Emma now and not include her number after all this time)

That leads me to wonder if Emma has questioned the rest of her appearance yet. I would assume she's still missing her left ear, since her hair is still covering that side, so does she ever wonder about why it's missing? What about the scars on her body? We personally haven't seen them, but you can't tell me her back and abdomen looks perfect and clean after getting stabbed by Lewis. Yes I know, scars heal with time, but the scar on Lucas' face was still recognizable after 13 years. Same with Zack and his many unfading scars. So does Emma question where hers came from?

Moving on, a month passes and still no memories, however Musica's necklace seems to be the cause of Emma's vivid dreams, like it somehow brings life to her feelings. We see the necklace constantly, not only because Emma wears it, but on volume covers and other color pages as well. It's always been shown off as this important item and yet it hasn't really served a purpose yet. Emma recieved the necklace back in ch51 and the only thing its done so far was show her that one old vision at Cuvitidala in ch101. It'll be a real easy way to solve everything by having the necklace just conveniently bring back her memories, so I get why some people might not like the idea, but at this point I'd be fine with it.

Figures she would end up in the human world with someone who can sympathize with her pain. Old dude lost his family due to war but at least he can remember them. He asks if Emma would want to see her family, if they're alive, and she remains unsure and lost. She doesn't know who these dream people are to her, why they call out "Emma" or why it makes her feel better.

This panel.. this one right here is what breaks me. Our girl is so upset and she can't even understand why. We know why you're crying hun, it's because you miss your family. Your memories may have faded but your feelings for them still live on with you! I have no doubt that love you just as much too! My poor girl, someone send me her location so I can go and hug her!

Emma might have given up trying to remember who she was and live a new life, but if she did encounter her family again, I hope she would be excited to meet them as new people. Maybe they could all start over. Over time they could gently remind her of her past, and if Emma truly can't remember, I hope they'll accept her regardless.

And a name change? I'm.. mmm frustrated. Yeah it makes sense since she couldn't remember hers and would need a new one anyway, but aahh, really? No id identifier, no memories, no name; it's like she's a new character. I was never a fan of the amnesia trope, like she's such a great character and gets built up wonderfully, and now it's like you reset her to zero. Yeah I know, deep down she's still the happy go lucky girl we all know and love, who's strong and capable to still smile even now, but.. man, idk anymore. This whole chapter hurts me.

There's a dim light at the end of the tunnel because we get a glimpse of Ray, Gilda and.. at first I thought it was Don but that person is way too short, so Phil? Regardless, I gotta give them some credit. It may have been a couple months, (remember, old dude said he could't call for help until spring and there's flowers in the ground now) but they've already managed to find where she might be in this new, large world. Please, turn around though! She's so close to you guys, she's right there! Notice her antenna or something, I beg you!

Demon god said that even if Emma met her family, she wouldn't remember them, but I still have small hopes. Emma claim's she stopped having the dreams and given up trying to remember her past, but maybe that short amount of time believing in them was enough. Aside from the necklace which connected her feelings to her unconscious mind, the five sense can also recall memories. Perhaps if she heard her name now, outside of a dream, something in her mind will click. Maybe she would get that warm feeling again she once longed for. Sense of smell and taste are usually most effective in bringing back memories so maybe just being near them or having them cook for her could also help. I know the sense of touch usually works for when you personally touch something, but if it's possible to also recall memories by being touched, then please, for the love of god, let Ray pat Emma's head again! He's done it countless time over the years.. can you imagine if upon meeting and learning that she has no memories, Ray is just like "no worries, you're still the same Emma to us," and while he pats her head, she's like wait hold up, major deja vu, I feel like I felt something like that happened before. I'm probably only getting my hopes up real high with that idea (since old dude just patted her head and nothing) but bro.. I would honestly cry if something so simple and nostalgic as a head pat helps Emma remember her family even the tiniest bit.

And yes, I'm worried Norman isn't around. Please don't let me be right again by having him stay behind due to his health issues. Just let him be in another search group somewhere else okay? I'll accept that. It's odd he wouldn't be working alongside Ray but whatever, split your best minds up to create equally powerful teams, that's fine. It only worries me because now we might not get one last full-score trio hug like I originally hoped! I swear having a hug like that as the very last panel of the series would've been perfectly fine with me after everything that just happened. But now.. aahhh, we'll see.

I can't believe the series ends next week. There's still so much I want to see and know. I pray there's a happy ending for everyone. I want Emma with her family. I want her to remember them. I want one last full-score trio hug. Shirai, don't let us down! You played with my feelings so much within the past year, so please make all the stress and tears worth it! Give me an ending that will satisfy me so much that TPN replaces Black Lagoon as my favorite series! Go ahead, I dare you! Ya see that beautiful panel? Give that to us and not have it be a fantasy! (pretty please??)

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Breaking the Curse

Chapter 48: Reconnaissance Work

If it weren't for Baelfire, he'd have called Dove to do this for him. Getting information, digging around and snooping…those things weren't really his job. And in this world, with his ankle injury, it wasn't something he was often physically prepared, or sometimes, even able, to do. If this were any other job not related to potentially finding a link to his son, he'd have sent Dove in a heartbeat. But since it was Baelfire, he'd opted not to summon his bird and simply do it himself.

Of course…the fact that he'd sent Dove on a nice little vacation didn't help.

After checking Granny's records in the office, carelessly left out for anyone to find really, and learning which room Booth was staying in, he'd taken to the stairs. That was the first time that he started to think he would have rather liked to have Dove with him in this case. He wouldn't have trusted the bird to come alone lest he find something too damning, but having a second pair of eyes might have been incredibly helpful given the fact that he was giving himself such a short amount of time to get this done. On the stairs, he'd set the alarm on his cell phone for seven minutes. That gave him time to get up the stairs, pick the lock, look around for five minutes, and leave. It wasn't a lot, but anything more than that would be risky. Booth could leave Mary Margaret's party and return here, he could come back with Emma, he could catch him and call Emma, Granny or even Ruby could come back to change for work, and he had no doubt they wouldn't keep silent. No, more than five minutes was just too risky.

He wore gloves, just on the off chance that he couldn't get the door locked again or he made a mess of something and Emma was called after. He wished he had one of Regina's skeleton keys, but the best part of being Mr. Gold meant that he didn't need it. Would it have been helpful? Sure. But necessary? Not at all. He picked the lock with some tools from the shop. Dove was good with locks, but he'd wager that he could do better. Being a pawnbroker meant dealing with locks of all types. He had hazy false memories over the years of people bringing him objects of value that had locks but keys that had "long ago" gone missing. Picking a lock was second nature; it was just another day at the office for him. Now, if he had two healthy legs, then he could dismiss Dove for good. But as it was right now…

Suddenly he felt the tumblers fall into place and heard the snick of the lock opening. He swung the door open, limped inside, and closed the door to give himself a few minutes of privacy. A few minutes…he had to make those minutes count.

There were a few lights that have been left on, which helped. His first priority was doing this quickly, but his second was to keep things tidy so that no one knew he'd been here. The lights on meant he didn't have to turn any on or remember to turn them off. He noted that the room looked well lived in, but wasn't terribly shocked at that considering how long Booth had been in Storybrooke by now. Bed, nightstands, desk, all common items one might find in a B&B room. But the desk would probably yield the most information. It was the most cluttered.

There was a hat of some kind, sitting next to a typewriter. It was old, older than Storybrooke. It didn't belong here in the B&B, and Emma had mentioned something about a typewriter when he'd spoken to her a bit ago. It was probably August's. It was an antique but…nothing more. Probably worth about one hundred dollars in a shop like his. There was no meaning to it except perhaps sentimental. If it was sentimental, he wasn't going to discover its sentiment without August. So he kept looking. He checked the paper in the typewriter, but it was blank. No words. No letters. However, there was more paper stacked next to it, under a wooden paperweight—a donkey of all things. Beautiful craftsmanship, it appeared to be handmade, but…also meaningless in addition to being worthless. He doubted the donkey was standard at Granny's either. But it, like the typewriter, was an odd thing to travel with. More sentiment?

He moved the donkey aside and looked to the small stack of paper it guarded. The top page held a simple typewritten paragraph, probably a continuation of whatever was on the page-

His heart stopped for a moment before thudding painfully back to life. He felt cold. As if all the blood had drained from his body.

He'd turned that page, expecting to find another page of text. Instead, he'd discovered a drawing, a sketch of something deadly, something he couldn't have prepared himself for.

It was a drawing of his dagger.

His name was spelled correctly.

"L" before "E". And every other detail aside from that was perfect as well. The way it waved, the etchings on it, the handle's design, the point of it, everything right down to his fucking name was perfect!

It was disturbing. Of all the things he'd expected to find, that certainly hadn't been in. It changed everything. Everything! He couldn't just leave August Booth to his own plans, not when he had a drawing like that. And he sure as hell couldn't call in one of the birds to watch him. No. He had to get to the bottom of this. And he had to do it himself. He had to do it quickly. He knew Baelfire and knew about the dagger…this didn't end when his cell phone alarm went off. It couldn't.

For once, he closed the shop the next day without warning or reason and spent the day trailing after August Wayne Booth. It wasn't terribly difficult. Where his motorcycle as he was usually never far. He'd gone to see Emma early that morning, but it had been a short visit. He still had two workers watching Emma and Regina, the two last remaining players in the Mary Margaret Scandal. He knew what they were doing. Emma was trying to figure out a way to take down Regina; Regina was trying to figure out how to cover her ass. They'd be too busy for Booth.

That was probably why he'd had lunch alone at Granny's that day. Hungry as he was, he didn't allow himself to go inside or eat anything. If he did that, he might get held up and miss August on the way out. He was a man on a mission—a mission to get information. Having a picture of that dagger was a threat to his existence. A threat to his existence was a threat to seeing his son.

He didn't take threats well.

Finally, August emerged from the diner, mounted his motorcycle, and sped off. He followed at a distance as he sped through the streets of Storybrooke, up into the woods, and arrived at, of all places, the convent. He parked his car in a spot that he knew would give him a good visual once Booth parked his bike and then watched as he strode up the stairs. He waited outside, pacing until Mother Superior appeared, they exchanged a few words, and then the pair of them went inside. It was curious. Very curious. What would Booth want with an Old Bug like her?

Fortunately, after an hour of sitting in his car, waiting for him to come out, he knew how to find out. Mother Superior…finally he'd talked to someone that he could have sway over! Fairy or nun, in this land, she was nothing but a tenant, and that meant he could ask her about him, threaten her if need be. In fact…this was great. Either Mother Superior would tell him what Booth wanted, or he'd find some legal reason to kick them out of the convent. One way or another, he'd be leaving here with a problem solved. The only question was which one.

One hour later, August emerged from the convent with the Bug. They chatted amiably on the porch for a few moments before walking down some steps and finally parting. That was his chance. And yes, the moment he got out of his car and made his way to the nun while August sat back on his bike, he was aware that he risked losing the man. But if he could learn anything substantial, then it might be worth the risk. For Baelfire…anything was worth the risk.

"Mother Superior. Good afternoon," he muttered without bothering to hide his disdain for her. She knew he didn't like them. No need to hide it. After all, the way she glanced up at him and then sighed didn't hide her own disdain.

"Our rent is paid in full," he explained simply. Yes, he knew that. Rent had been due the day Kathryn was freed…he'd had Dove collect it like usual so they could talk over the Kathryn situation. Then, once he'd given him his cut, he'd disappeared up to one of the cabins he owned by the lake for his well-deserved vacation while he'd done the books. He'd been irritated to see the convent had paid in full but not surprised after the events that had taken place over Miner's Day.

"I'm not here about the rent."

Mother Superior smiled one of her falsely sweet but innocent smiles. "Well, good day to you, then," she sassed before attempting to walk away from him. Honestly, the Curse had a sense of humor. This woman…a nun…innocent?! That was utterly ridiculous when talking about any fairy, least of all their leader.

"Tell me, that man who just left here…who did he say he was? What did he want?" he called before she could get too far.

She turned, her smile still in place as she whispered, "I don't have to tell you that."

The thing was, ever since he'd decided to ask her, he'd been expecting an answer like that. And he was more than happy to give her the answer that he'd prepared.

"And I don't have to not double your rent," he snapped, wiping the smile off of her face and putting it on his own instead. Their rental agreement was indeed specific. And Mr. Gold had longed for years to tear it up, which meant he practically had the damn thing memorized. He couldn't kick them out unless they failed to make rent. There was nothing in it that mentioned the rent had to stay the same year to year or even month to month. And by the look on her face, the Blue Bug knew it too.

"What did he want?" he pushed.

"Advice and counsel," she answered. "He came to town looking for his father after a long separation and he recently found him."

"Ah," he managed to let out a choked noise but only because his heart had suddenly leaped up into his throat as his body went cold and then numb all over again. It was identical to the feeling he'd had last night when he'd seen the drawing of the dagger only...different. This was different.

A son who had found his father after a long separation. A man who knew Baelfire.

It wasn't possible…

"And a happy reunion has already taken place?" he asked, trying not to put too much emotion into it. That was a difficult task. He was nothing but emotion right now. Emotion after emotion…fear, hope, love, joy, pain, sorrow, panic…lots of panic.

Why panic? All the others he understood but panic…

"No. He hasn't spoken to him yet."

No. It couldn't be Baelfire. If it was, they'd spoken just the other morning. Not that he would call that a happy reunion, exactly. But nuances…

He swallowed. "And why not?"

"Mm, it was a difficult parting. There are many issues to be resolved between them."

"I see…" he whispered, looking out across the property without actually seeing it. He felt a shiver creep up his spine and just barely managed to mutter "Good day, Mother Superior" before turning and leaving.

When he fell back into his car, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

August Wayne Booth…here to reunite with a father he'd parted badly from…it couldn't be…

Could he?

[goatbi]

Cat-Like

Yamichi lounges. It’s one thing Uryu notices about her when she has the people she cares about around her. He somehow found himself included on this list, and thus, has enough moments to get to see the times she does this. 

Often times, it’s across someone’s lap, usually Ikkaku or Kenpachi’s lap, with her head fallen back and neck completely exposed. She sees the world upside down when she does it, and Uryu isn’t entirely sure why she does, but it seems to make her feel comfortable, and Ikkaku gets this strange, soft look in his eyes when she does, so Uryu guesses it’s something special, and sets it aside. 

He knows he’s not the most physically affectionate--he prefers, almost every time, to make things, gift them to friends and pretend it was easy, that he hadn’t spent multiple nights hunched over in a chair staring at tiny stitching and hoping it’s all perfect, because he would have to restart if it’s not--so it doesn’t come as any surprise that Yamichi picks up on this. The most affectionate thing is her laying her head on his shoulder, staring off into nothing while he works on whatever it is he’s doing now, some new project he’s working on for the fun of it. 

She doesn’t mention the way his arm moves bumps her head up and down like the sea, and she never complains. He wonders if she would prefer him more affectionate, so she could lounge across his lap like she does the others. 

It’s a summer evening, when he learns that’s not what was stopping her, and they’re collected in Kisuke’s store, Kenpachi leaning against the back wall with Yachiru playing Animal Crossing on his lap, the music loud even through her headphones, switch stolen from Ichigo’s hands, though it’s bright pink and Uryu knows Ichigo’s is orange with a custom detail of the soul reaper badge on the back. He also knows Ichigo likes to pretend he’s subtle sometimes.

They had moved the table to allow for the collected group, Kisuke’s shop already having five people milling around it on occasion, and getting the entire six hearts group, and then the top five soul reapers of Squad Eleven means the already limited room is even lower. So the table had to go. 

Uryu sits on an opposite wall from Kenpachi. It’s not much room, and Kenpachi has been getting better since the moment he mentioned it, but Kenpachi’s immense spiritual pressure, combined with just how sensitive Uryu is to it makes Uryu’s head pound. He does have to give credit to Kenpachi, for even being able to reel in that much power. 

It used to be the same with Ichigo, until his power had started growing and didn’t seem to find a stopping point, until some point in the Soul Society, perhaps after he reached Bankai, Uryu’s sense of Ichigo’s power seemed to dip suddenly. It was still there, still obvious, but it felt more like it had become the air around them, rather than heavy like oil. It was easier to breath, easier to live in, and Uryu stopped noticing it as much. 

The point was that Kenpachi’s hadn’t done that, and Uryu’s head would get to pounding if he spent too much time around Kenpachi with no buffer, which was, in this case, Kisuke’s expert ability to manipulate the way spiritual energy settled in the air around them, and then of course, Yamichi. 

He knew this wasn’t right, but Uryu could have sworn it felt like Yamichi simply being in the same room as Kenpachi had her absorbing the power and then making it simply... disappear. That couldn’t be right, but Yamichi had always been an enigma, one that he couldn’t figure out how to decode, no matter how he tried. It has scared him, the way she was a puzzle that couldn’t be solved, before he found out that she too couldn’t solve her own puzzle despite her attempts. 

It stopped being so scary. 

Yamichi settled next to him, as Ichigo and Rukia argued the rules of the game Uryu was not following, and Ikkaku and Yumichika tried to cheat their way to winning together, and Orihime sat to the side with a prime, secret smile, holding a winning hand only Uryu and Yamichi could see, with her back to the two of them. Chad had already forfeited, and was currently sitting with Ururu, teaching her how to make origami swans. 

“Feeling alright?” She asked, voice soft, careful. Uryu glanced over at her through the corner of his eye, and nodded. The headache hadn’t started yet, but Uryu was already feeling tired from the sheer amount of people here. She hummed, then nudged his arm with a hand. 

For a moment, Uryu was confused, before he carefully lifted his arms up, taking his crochet with him, and Yamichi smiled, then wiggled her way under the yarn, laying with her back across his leg, and-

Head back, exposing her entire neck, skin stretched tight across her adam’s apple, across her throat, and she sighed in contentment. 

Uryu hovered with his arms in the air for a moment, before carefully setting them on her stomach, going back to work, but not without risking a glance up, towards Ikkaku. 

He was staring, eyes narrowed carefully, not angrily, as Uryu had come to learn, but calculating, a look that meant he was thinking, putting together pieces that Uryu wasn’t entirely sure was gonna be right. 

Though, to be fair, Uryu had gotten far too many people sizing him up when they thought he was doing something towards a person they were with, a person they were dating. He just didn’t notice when he was staring. 

Either way, the conclusion that Ikkaku was drawing was one Uryu didn’t want to be a part of. 

He went back to his crochet. 

It was later in the night--after Uryu had taken a small break in the back room, sound proofed to perfection by Kisuke, where he could lay in near silence for a little bit, to shed some of the social anxiety like a second skin--when the Soul Reapers had to return to the Society, with promises to come back and tight hugs--the only hugs Uryu could handle at the moment, thankfully, or he would have had to miss the way Yamichi wrapped her arms tight around him and squeezed, like she was trying to press him like a panini--and started disappearing through the gate. 

Ikkaku wasn’t the last to go, not really, since Yumichika always went with him, and Yachiru liked it when they raced Kenpachi, and Yamichi wouldn’t leave without her brother and her... partner? Uryu didn’t know what words they liked to refer to each other as, but he knew they were together in some way. Either way, effectively, Ikkaku was the last.

“Listen.” Uryu focused in on Ikkaku as he spoke, quiet, low enough that the other living souls, still laughing bright and loud at something Yamichi had said. “Yamichi doesn’t do that lap thing with just anyone. She’s done it with me, Kenpachi, and now you. Yumichika has yet to get that privilege, though, to be honest, he probably should, she’s just holding out because she’s trying to do the whole protective sibling thing.” 

Uryu wanted to comment on them being together longer than Yamichi knew Yumichika even existed, but the whole. everything today had stolen his words, so he just sent a look, and Ikkaku seemed to understand. 

“I know. Not the point. The point is she only does that with people she trusts. It’s... We both know we have no clue what kind of soul Yamichi actually is. I think it’s a hollow thing.” 

The shock didn’t come as heavy as Uryu expected. He had assumed that Yamichi was... something, but a hollow? Well... His eyes darted to Ichigo, where the grey-ish scelara showed Shiro was in on the conversation as well. Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing. 

“Instinct. Basically she’s trusting you not to tear her throat out.” Uryu blinked at him, then nodded his head carefully, a small bow once before focusing back in. “So, as her... maybe older brother, you break that trust, I break you. Got it Quincy?” 

The words stuck for a moment, before something someone else had said tumbled from his mouth without his permission. “Yes sirree Mr. Baldy.” 

He cringed inwardly on himself, but Ikkaku just sighed. Yachiru’s words were used against him easily enough, but it got the point across either way. “Good.” 

With that, he turned, and, moments later, they were disappearing through the gate, Yamichi’s waving hand the last thing they see before it closes behind them. 

Uryu ponders this for a moment, allowing Chad to set a firm hand on his shoulder to steer him back towards the ladder. Yamichi trusted him. 

It’s a nice feeling, he thinks, being trusted like that, by instincts that run as deep as a hollow’s. 

He’s going to cherish it. 

[vmheadquarters]

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Twenty-Eight of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @his-beautiful-girl​​​. And stayed tuned next week for Ch.29 from @louzeyre​ - tag, you’re it!

_____________________________________________________________

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT by @his-beautiful-girl​

Logan’s brows furrowed, lips turning downward, “Just how the hell did Van of all people become a publisher? Just last year he was still principal of Neptune High.” 

It was Veronica’s turn to grab her phone and do some googling. “It says here that he formed the company ‘Trident Publishing’ three months ago. My guess is that Ruby’s book would have been his first, but with as explosive as it would have been…” 

“Van would have ended up a very rich man.” Logan finished for her. “I can’t speak to his personal life, but he wasn’t above taking bribes for school, Sugarpuss.” His mind drifted back to a conversation after he and Weevil had dismantled Mr. Daniel’s car and then re-assembled it around the flagpole. How a pair of Aaron’s boots had made sure that Weevil was unexpelled. 

She nodded. “I knew he did it for money for Neptune High but I never got the impression that he was trying to gain anything personal from it. Well, other than the time he set it up so I would discover that Moorehead was Trina’s biological father. But that was to oust Moorehead so he could become principal. Not really any financial gain there.” 

Logan rose from the couch, walked to Veronica and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the crown of her head. “Something is really bothering me, Vee. How does she know about Shelly’s party? Book you calls Duncan out for rape.” His voice turned tender, dropping low. “That’s not a detail that you could get from a source, baby.” 

“I don’t know.” Veronica’s voice came out fragile, and he tightened his arms around her protectively. Rested his cheek on top of her head and rocked them slightly. “I only told you and- I- I admitted it one time during the therapy we had to take in school at Stanford. The only other person who knows is Duncan himself, and he would never admit to it being what it is.” 

She turned in his arms and he cupped the back of her head with one hand while running the other up and down along her spine, letting her hide against him. Felt her drawing deep breaths in and out and centering herself again while he continued to offer her love and comfort. Logan smiled against her hair when she stood straighter and drew in a deep breath. It’s true that they differed from when they were in high school and in college. They had gotten their shit together and learned communication was the key. But some things remained the same, and he was glad for that. His girl was still strong and determined. He knew if anyone could solve this, it would be Veronica. He was there for the assist. 

Logan pressed another kiss on the crown of her head before she pulled back slightly, face tilted upward, allowing him to brush his lips across hers tenderly before she murmured. “After this is over, we should go on vacation. Someplace warm and sunny and with no murder, please.” 

He nodded in agreement. “That sounds perfect.” 

They stayed quiet, holding each other for a few long moments before the reality of the situation broke through their peace. 

“So I think the question we need to ask ourselves is whether the focus of this book is on exposing Neptune, or whether it’s a book on exposing the Kanes.” Logan finally allowed himself to break the silence. “I know there is a lot… okay, most of the focus is on us, but what if we’re just the players that are being moved around to tell the story? Especially given that we had such close ties to the Kanes or to the events meant to expose the Kanes.” 

Veronica’s eyes narrowed, and her teeth sank into her bottom lip. “You could be right. Maybe we’re the red herrings. It’s about exposing the Kanes without just writing a direct book about them. That still doesn’t explain so much of the information that this source and/or Ruby has though.” 

“Also, this ‘Jen’ person is still bothering me. I know we can’t find any clue she exists, and she wasn’t a roommate of Mac’s but I feel like she represents someone. This might be the one person Ruby used a pseudonym for.” Veronica stepped away from him and paced in front of the enormous windows in Dick’s living room, looking out into the ocean. “Logan, I want to get into Ruby’s apartment to see if I can find anything.” 

He nodded; this request not surprising in the least. “Van first? Then Ruby’s? Then how about we pick up dinner and eat at your dad’s tonight? I’m missing my other favorite girl and you could use some Pony snuggles of your own.” 

Logan’s heart jumped as her face lit up at the mention of their dog, and he knew it was the right call. Now they just had to get around town, unnoticed by the paparazzi. 

*** 

An hour later, Logan and Veronica stood on the front porch of a nice, but modest residence. He rapped on the door sharply three times and they waited. He always found it interesting the way they stood when working on a case together. At any other time, they would hold hands or his arm would be around her shoulder and hers around his waist; however, in situations like this they stood together with their sides barely touching, both drawn to their full height. Both aware of the other and yet wanting to radiate that they were each dangerous on their own to whoever they were about to crush. 

Logan was about to rap on the door again when sounds within indicated that the first knocks were being acknowledged. Locks clicked and then the door itself swung open, revealing a haggard-looking Van Clemmons. “Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls. I wondered when you would show up. Come in, please.” 

“Well, you said that life had gotten boring without me.” The words dropped wryly from her mouth and the corner of Logan’s mouth twitched in response. 

“Life without you is always boring, Bobcat.” He cast an adoring look at her before turning his attention back at the man waiting in the doorway. 

Mr. Clemmons stepped back and gestured with his hand for the couple to enter. Placing his hand on the small of her back lightly, Logan let Veronica go first and then followed. Not that he felt Clemmons was a threat, he just felt better having her back protected. 

The living room was to the right of the entryway, and Clemmons indicated they should go there. “Please, take a seat and make yourselves comfortable. Can I get either of you something to drink?” 

Both shook their heads, taking a seat on the couch, before Logan smirked. “Are you getting the sense of what it felt like to be on the other side of that desk of yours, Van?” 

“Mr. Echolls, I seem to remember you being on the other side of that desk more than a few times.” Van’s voice came out dry but heavy, tired beyond his years. 

Veronica snorted, very unladylike, which made Logan grin. “Yeah, and how often were there actual consequences for any of those incidents? Just how much money did you make for the school? More importantly, how much of that money made it to your pocket rather than the schools?” 

Clemmons held up his hands placatingly and sighed. “I know what you must think but the only time I ever did anything for my benefit was when I used you to expose Principal Moorehead. I admit to taking money in return for punishments not happening, but all of that money went to Neptune High in one way or another. I made sure the students had the best that I could give them in my years as principal.” 

“Why did you retire? Why suddenly go into publishing? Not your typical career move and you don’t have the background for it. It also begs the question of the money issue. Where is the money coming from to start the business?” Veronica fired off the questions one after the other, and Logan tried to tell himself that being turned on right now was not the appropriate response. 

Van dropped his head into his hands, scrubbing it hard, and muttered. “I have a silent partner who put up the money after they heard the pitch for the book.” 

Logan leaned forward. “What was the pitch for the book exactly? Because it isn’t about some murder mystery, even if that is what it’s trying to pass itself off as. So why don’t you just tell us the truth. Someone is already dead. I wasn’t her fan, but I never would have wished Ruby dead, and I don’t think you did either. But you both got yourself mixed up into something deep. You know, the only person who has a chance at figuring this out is Veronica, so let her, Clemmons.” 

The silence that took over the room felt heavy and oppressive. Minutes ticked on and on and he wondered if they would get the information they were after or not. After an interminable amount of time, the older man nodded in agreement, letting out a loud sigh. “Yes, maybe you are the only ones I can trust with this.” 

Logan started when Veronica’s hand slipped into his, but was more than happy to thread his fingers through hers. It felt like they might finally get somewhere with this. Finally, get some answers that could make things make sense. Nothing could have prepared him for what came next. 

“Della- I’m sorry, Ruby came to me with the idea she had for a book. Claimed she had been doing research for the past year and wanted to write a book about a powerful family that had their claws in everything. A family that rolled around in the dirt and was covered in mud, though nobody could see it. She also claimed that members of this family had hurt people badly, and she wanted to right some wrongs and give those that they had hurt justice. She was talking about the Kanes and I should have known better--” 

Clemmons scrubbed over his face again, and when he looked up, his gaze focused on Veronica. “But I knew she was right. I knew a lot more than I could ever tell. I listened to the stories during those years at Neptune High, and I even did some of my research. I may not know all the stories exactly, but I know that the Kanes are responsible for so many things behind the scenes in this town. When she told me of the way she wanted to write the book without coming right out and accusing them I thought it would be okay. I went to Casey Gant and floated a semblance of the idea around to see if I might get him interested, but he turned it down. Then I got a surprising phone call from someone willing to not only put up the money to publish the book, but wanted me to be the face of the publisher. I let greed take over my thinking.” 

Van’s head dropped into his hands again, and Logan couldn’t decide whether or not to feel sorry for him. Veronica vibrated next to him, like she would explode if they didn’t find out who this mysterious person is and within the next minute. 

“Who?” The question was more a demand and came out sharp on her tongue. “Who is it?” 

“Troy Vandegraff,” Clemmons muttered into his hands. 

“Well, fuck me sideways. I did not expect that.” Logan breathed out, wide-eyed while turning to stare at Veronica, who looked just as taken aback. 

“Who was Ruby’s source, Clemmons? You must know. She couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.” The words came sharp and to others may sound bitter, but Logan knew the truth. That hardness Veronica projected was covering the hurt that she felt over Ruby’s death. Solving this case was the only way she knew how to help find some closure in this. He squeezed her hand gently in support. 

“I was, or at least I was one of them.” A familiar voice jerked their heads up and their attention to the hallway where a pale, thin figure stepped out of the shadows. 

Logan felt his gut churning, blood getting hot. He pulled Veronica closer to him protectively. “Lianne Mars.” He spit out the name like a curse. 

[thebibliomancer]

Shadows of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 15

Shadows of the Dark Crystal by J. M. Lee because urVa is a delight.

Last times on book: Naia is on a journey to Ha’rar with Kylan to clear brother Gurjin’s name and warn the All-Maudra about all these dark crystals. Their journey took them through the Dark Woods where Naia dreamfasted with a tree and made the forest less spooky. Then urVa burst out of a tree and invited the Gelfling for a cryptic soup dinner.

Chapter 17

urVa teaches Naia about archery but mostly says a lot of cryptic stuff that Naia and Kylan can’t make sense of. That’s how it be.

Naia has a flying dream.

I swear, this has to be building up to something.

When she wakes up, Kylan is already up staring at the mysterious writing again because darnit he wants to know.

Naia ponders some more whether urVa is truly alone in this dirt hovel.

From the limited belongings he kept, it was hard for Naia to believe he was completely solitary. Life in Sog was very different, with every family keeping their own stock of meat and preserves, ranging gear and ceremonial garments, spears and bola, trinkets and family treasure. The Spriton had lived in communion with one another, too, each village hut full of material evidence of life and family and the village as a whole. Even the Podling burrow they’d found had had that same proof... but should urVa one day pass away, or leave for another place, the only thing left of him would be the bare walls with the writing Naia couldn’t read. And even then, it wouldn’t take long for the wild and the elements to eat away those as well, and then there would be no record he had existed at all.

Somewhere, the Skeksis have just broken out into a cold sweat.

urVa interrupts her melancholy to offer her some ta, which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. Since it has red steam once the water hits the herbs, which I’ve never personally seen tea do. But as a name, ta still has the feel of caf or choc where writers don’t want to be just so mundane as to have coffee or chocolate in their fantastical world.

Cough Star Wars Cough

Despite his size and dragging tail, he was surprisingly stealthy and was already halfway across the small den’s space, heading toward the kettle. As he walked, his spine snaked in a liquid motion from his head to his bulk.

This. This is some good description.

urVa makes a comment about having all three suns in the sky at the same time which makes me wonder if there’s a time when that doesn’t happen and what that does to day and night.

Ta apparently tastes tangy and like alfen fruit. Fascinating.

Naia asks for directions from the Black River and urVa just gets up and gets his stuff and sets out. He’s a show, don’t tell kinda guy, I guess.

The Dark Woods is some whole other animal after Naia healed it. Full of life and joy and new growth. They’re going to need a new name for it, probably.

When the group stops for lunch, Naia asks about the corded staff and feathered spears urVa carries and he explains that they’re bow and arrows and asks if she wants to see.

They leave Kylan to rest his feet and go to a ledge where urVa can demonstrate.

“Bow -- two ends connected by a single string. Arrow -- head and tail connected by a single shaft.”

“For hunting? They look like spears.”

“Bow and arrow do not hunt; a hunter hunts. I am not a hunter.”

Naia be like ‘doubt’ but she’s impressed when he fires an arrow.

urVa hands her the bow and she tries to use it but the thing is nearly as tall as she is and the bowstring is bowstrung with the expectation of a Mystic’s bulk and four arms. She doesn’t really have success pulling back the bowstring, even without an arrow.

He helps her pull back the string and she manages to shoot an arrow, although it goes bouncing off everything because she didn’t so much shoot it as lose her grip on the bowstring.

Neech wants to go chase the arrow because that’s what he do but Naia settles him down.

urVa chuckled. “We need a Gelfling-size bow.”

Oh there’s a really cool picture of Naia and urVa on the ledge. The art in this book is so good.

Naia shoots off a few more arrows, getting better at it. She also takes the time to examine the bow and how the string is notched, the amount of curve and the type of wood. She looks at all his different arrows too.

Each was unique, with a different engraving or colorful adornment. Some had glittering sea-green scales along the sides, some had feathers or barbed orange leaves. The arrowheads were an array of hard materials, from stones and claws to bone and ancient wood. One even appeared to be made of a tooth. Every arrow was different, made with painstaking care and detail.

I wonder if Naia takes and spreads this knowledge and that’s how archery among Gelfling becomes so widespread that Toolah in Beneath the Dark Crystal can use arrows to solve every problem.

I’d like to think so.

Naia offers to go retrieve the arrows she had fired but urVa just tells her he’ll make more.

She gets really antsy about this because of the craftsmanship of the arrows and how the tradition in the Sog is to retrieve your bola. It makes her feel a little like shit that such good arrows will be lost forever just so she could see how archery works. She goes to climb down anyway but urVa pulls her back gently.

“Ah, Gelfling, little Gelfling,” he said. “Let them go. They were made of Thra and have returned to Thra. Now that my quiver is nearly empty, I have room for new arrows.”

So there was a thing I saw in a magazine profile of urVa that said he was so good at archery because he knows when to let things go and it simultaneously annoyed and impressed me because I hadn’t quite reconciled archery with how the urRu usually are but the explanation made perfect sense and was also kind of wordplay.

But it really works here and it really works as a dynamic against which Naia can butt her head.

She considers sneaking down to retreive them anyway but he just keeps staring at her so she gives it up.

“A stone in each hand leaves no room for a fifth... Mm, or in case of Gelfling, a third. Holding on to things too tightly will prevent you from moving forward.”

He’s just super good at letting things go.

But this also doesn’t sit right with Naia and tries to argue the point that if you let go of the things you care about there’s no point in trying and that there are things that are more important than stones.

urVa didn’t argue, simply bobbing his head from side to side. Though she hadn’t really expected to change his mind, Naia felt a pinch of frustration when he didn’t reply at all, but she kept it to herself. It was fine to disagree, after all, so long as neither of them held the feeling in contempt.

Naia: ‘i came her for an argument!’

At least its not getting hit on the head lessons.

But, the more urVa the more I like urVa. People could learn a lesson from how chill he is.

Naia asks urVa whether the visions and phantoms the Cradle-Tree showed her were just illusions and echoes of her fears.

“Hmmm,” urVa murmured. “Yes and no.”

“Yes and no are opposites,” Naia said, though it pained her to state the obvious.

urVa’s point though is that the Cradle-Tree is a tree and can only show what’s already there. “If you heard it, someone said it. If you saw it, someone did it” but context is key.

This doesn’t really answer the question of whether it was real for Naia but I think she’s getting used to that at this point.

While on the arrow quest, Kylan has been dream-etching the words he saw in urVa’s hovel into his book.

“Smart one, this one,” urVa said with a chuckle ... “What words are for, you know. Passing along a message from one place to another, even when the original dreamer has, himself, passed along and gone.”

The group sets off again and they pass under where the broken bridge was. And nice scenery building, the broken bridge was actually a branch of the Cradle-Tree, broken due to its darkening. Nice. I like that it ties together.

But urVa draws their attention to a figure traveling along the ridge and tells the Gelfling that its looking for them and then shrugs when they ask how he knows.

“An archer knows the path of an arrow from either end.”

Another way of saying a hunter knows when he’s being hunted, Naia thought. At least sometimes his riddles made sense to her.

Naia doesn’t worry about their maybe stalker because there’s nothing she can do about it until the pursuer catches up except pick up the pace which she does do.

They arrive at a stream that urVa tells Naia and Kylan will lead them to the Black River.

“Thank you, urVa. And for showing us the way to the river.”

“May we meet again,” urVa replied. “Even be it in a different form.”

Uhhhhhhm I mean, I like the sentiment here but I have a sinking feeling that he is going to meet them in a different form and its not going to be as pleasant.

Cough the Hunter cough.

Naia: “He seems very wise, but what good is wisdom when it can’t be understood? I didn’t understand half of what he told us this entire time.”

That’s the Mystic experience for you, Naia.

Alas, I’d like more time with urVa but he has other plot to attend to and really he’s like a super high leveled guest party member. He’s a tension breaker. For the good of the story, he has to go shoot arrows to annoy Aughra.

Bye urVa. You were a delight.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 106: Buddy’s Book

“We imagined him way off.”

As a children's librarian, I feel there are some things I should clear up before getting started. First, we don't read at the front desk as patrons come in (and we certainly wouldn't be reading something as smutty as Passions of Xanxor); our job is helping people, not sating our own love of books, and there’s tons of other work to do when patrons aren’t in immediate need. Second, we might tell noisy patrons to be quiet at times, but we don't loudly and nonverbally shoosh, because that’s rude as hell and would justifiably result in louder backlash. Third, we weed our collections regularly, meaning a journal that's hundreds of years old would've been trashed, donated, or (most likely in this case) moved to special collections long before it could've been left uncatalogued on the ground for a patron to find (and yeah, we are capable of checking beneath the shelves). 

None of these misconceptions matter that much, but what is a little annoying is the stereotype that libraries are book repositories, rather than information centers. Yes, we carry books, but we also carry digital media to fit a modern world, and more importantly, we're staffed with information specialists  who teach digital literacy to all ages. If you're a Connie, getting your information from the internet and citing erroneous sources, come to the library and we'll teach you how to research properly using every tool at your disposal, including your smartphone. Smartphones aren’t the problem. The internet isn’t the problem. Shoddy methodology is the problem, and it’s still a problem if you’re only researching with books, because books can be erroneous as well. Pick a world history book from as late as the 80s and it’ll tell you the USSR still exists. Pick a book written by a racist and you might walk away thinking some very biased information is factual, depending on your critical thinking skills.

Libraries have always been at the forefront of literacy, research, and community outreach, so don't let anyone in charge of budgets tell you that we're a relic of the past despite what portrayals of libraries so often amount to in media.

(Also, and as much as I loathe the Dewey Decimal System, which is outdated and nonadjustable and prejudiced and not at all structured well from a consumer-facing standpoint, which is crucial to kids especially: how did they not make a single reference to Dewey also being the last name of Beach City’s mayor and Buddy’s buddy?)

Okay, professional duties out of the way. Let's talk about stories.

Buddy's Book is about history, but more specifically, about the way we perceive history when we weren't there to live it. Nothing we see of the past looks the way it actually looked, because Steven and Connie are conflating a person who died centuries ago with Jamie. And it doesn’t stop at the visual level: unless we're to believe that the glorious line "I shall not disappear! I shan't die a lowly first mate! I shwill do something great with my life!" is actually written in the journal, the kids are allowing the idea of Jamie to seep into the narration as well. It’s reminiscent of one of my favorite Simpsons gags, where the ghost of Cesar Chavez explains that he appears as Cesar Romero to Homer because Homer doesn’t know what Cesar Chavez looked like. 

The kids say outright that they’re picturing Buddy as Jamie, so we’re aware from the start that reality is being altered. This sensation is enhanced when the Crystal Gems' appearances shift from their modern outfits to the way they looked in the old photo from So Many Birthdays as soon as the kids think to do so (complete with Amethyst's long hair, which was sorta retconned into being inspired by Greg's). Amethyst speaks using modern slang, and Garnet and Pearl exit their scene on a penny-farthing bicycle, which wouldn't be invented until the 1870s, because to a kid “the past” is a single nebulous unit of time where everything can mix together.

This is mostly played for laughs, and to great effect, but the timing of this episode forces us to confront the downside of nudging history to fit a better story. As silly as it is to insert modern concepts to fill in gaps from long ago, Steven has also had to fill the gaps for his mother's story, combining all the great things he’s heard about her from his family to create an impossible ideal of an imperfect figure. Learning that Buddy didn’t look anything like Jamie at the end of the episode is another joke, but learning that Rose wasn’t who Steven thought she was is the driving force behind Act III of the original series (a.k.a. the final two seasons).

And, of course, this is the first time we see Rose after the reveal. In a bubble, Steven’s lack of reaction to her appearance in the book seems like a misfire, but Mindful Education is coming right up to show how Steven is repressing his emotions (which also retroactively makes me enjoy his childish behavior here, such as not controlling the volume of his voice and playing with the rolling stool).

More than any other flashback so far, Rose is an enigma. She’s a mystery to Buddy, a normal human encountering a giant woman in the desert. She’s a mystery to her friends, all by herself in the desert with a small pride of lions that the other Crystal Gems don’t know about, judging by their reaction to Lion a few hundred years later. And she’s a mystery to us, because we’ve been told that she killed someone and are thirsty for answers.

Instead, she acts like she always has. She’s as empathetic and silly and encouraging as ever, but why wouldn’t she be? The most we’ve seen of her is in Greg’s flashbacks, so we already know what she acted like after the shattering. Read one way, this episode confirms that her behavior wasn’t a front, because she’s just as lovely with this random human hundreds of years earlier.

But remember, we aren’t actually seeing Rose here. We’re seeing Steven’s interpretation of Rose from the writings of a stranger’s journal, and he’s been embellishing this journal the entire time. I’m not saying that Rose didn’t do what the book purports, or that there’s any reason for us to think she didn’t act this way, but it’s up to Steven to show us, and when given the opportunity to present any character any way he likes, he still sees Rose the way he always has. We’re an episode away from his confronting those feelings, but it’s important to see that for now he’s still clinging to the stories he’s familiar with even after a new story has come to light.

Then, of course, there’s Lion. This is the first time in ages we’ve gotten a new hint at his backstory (it’s been on the back burner since Rose’s Scabbard), but as always, his origin remains shrouded. The connection to Rose is clearer than ever, but she’s with seven lions, not one, and none of them are pink. 

This is an area where I’m a little more frustrated by Steven not wondering aloud what’s up with the lions, but I’m not frustrated with Steven, if that makes sense.  Steven has never been as interested in the lore of the show as the fans; magic is his normal, so digging deep into where Lion came from would be like tracking down the family tree of a pet cat. Plus it would ruin the pacing of the episode for us to focus too hard on the lions, and it probably wouldn’t be great for the mystery. My frustration is from wanting a puzzle solved, which speaks to how effective this little side story has been. If we aren’t compelled enough to remember these details, Lars’s eventual resurrection has no oomph, so a little annoyance is worth it.

The coolest aspect of the episode by far is revisiting old haunts; Rose may praise Buddy’s writing, but his drawings are nothing to scoff at, and seeing the locations themselves is a delight. It’s a nice review of the show’s own history through the eyes of someone else (and then back again through the eyes of our heroes looking through the eyes of someone else). This is our second episode in a row with musical cues from past episodes, which I sadly can’t link to because we’ve reached the era where Aivi and Surasshu had to stop posting their background tracks online. Know Your Fusion and Buddy’s Book have a nifty through-line of looking into the show’s past, just as Buddy’s Book and Mindful Education have a through-line of Steven hanging out with Connie as she begins a new school year. It’s cool to see light structuring in the serialization after so many episodes in a row that were more directly connected.

Even though Jamie himself doesn’t actually appear in it, this is probably my favorite Jamie episode. Eugene Cordero has proven himself an expert ham many times over, and because the mailman is already larger than life, he’s even more melodramatic in the kids’ imaginations. Cordero sells that “shwill” with ease, but his best read is the desert monologue that goes an even deeper layer and has Steven and Connie imagining Jamie as Buddy imagining what other people would think of his quest: “‘Ha ha ha,’ they’d say. ‘What a fool,’ they’d continue.” 

The Gems get to be goofy as well, with Pearl speaking in mangled old-timey parlance, Garnet going big in her not-too-subtle pep talk, and Amethyst swinging from accommodating and annoyed. And it’s not as if Steven and Connie are serious, either. The lightheartedness is abundant, but unlike Kindergarten Kid or Know Your Fusion, it just feels wholesome. Sure, there’s snark here and there, but this is essentially two friends having fun at the library, which I’m all about.

I’ll repeat a third time that Mindful Education is incoming, and with it comes the reality of Steven’s situation. Stories are fun, but distractions only last so long, and Buddy’s Book is a wonderful way to give us a little more joy while priming us for a bigger story about when the stories we live by aren’t true. 

Future Vision!

It’s perfect foreshadowing to slip the Palanquin in with all the portrayals of places we’ve already been. Especially because Stephen’s Dream actually uses the journal as a reference point. (Also: did Connie steal that book? Because she certainly couldn’t have checked it out if it wasn’t catalogued.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Does it get things wrong about libraries? Sure. But this is still a fun and funny episode about research and narratives, so it’s burrowed its way into my heart regardless.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(Not sure why this one lacks promo art, considering it’s our first episode after the huge release rush of the Summer of Steven, but I love the True Buddy art from Tench.)

[maiden-of-wolves]

Ariel & Fox - Persistence

“Meeting” Scene Part 1 Part 2

This is a really long one. And we learn that Ariel’s not really a brat, ‘just' suffering on the edge of a mental breakdown from the stress. Depression fueled by anxiety is a potent cocktail. TK just brings out the drama in me. xD

This is definitely an AU to my normal AU with Ariel. She does struggle with this normally, but not to this degree. It was an interesting experience to write.

Please, if you’re battling with depression, don’t read this chapter. It will almost certainly be triggering.

Ariel spent that evening curled in bed, finally allowing herself to de-stress in the only way that worked and she could access in this world: crying. It was a pathetic pastime, but it worked. She’d had a hard time reconciling the healer that had helped her so gently and sweetly with the man who’d all but threatened her life for telling the truth. In the end, she found there was nothing to reconcile: the latter was clearly who he was. She had to give him props for being able to act so well and have a brilliant bedside manner. In one way, she wanted to figure him out and he was fascinating, but she simply didn’t want to keep risking her emotional health just to solve a puzzle. She could sleep, eat or drink some lyrium to recover her physical or even mental health… but her emotional self? That was nigh irreparable sometimes.

She forced herself to turn her thoughts to more pressing matters: the impending alliance and the fight that would ensue afterwards. Her warnings had gone virtually ignored, though it seemed like Cullen was taking some of her suggestions in putting up further spiked walls around the perimeter. Perhaps it was just because that they didn’t take much in the way of extra time and resources.

In the following weeks she poured herself back into learning Trade and pushed her curiosities about Fox aside. Venna would sometimes check on her and ask for her advice. Taevel, a young city elf recruit that had taken her under his wing since he was part of the party that found her, came to take her to training sessions every couple days. Other than that, she was left to her own devices. That was a bad idea. She fell into several different projects to keep her mind occupied and only ventured out in between to grab some bread, sneak a flask of lyrium and fill a bucket with water. She slept, but fitfully as she did her best to avoid spirits that sought her out like bugs to a light. It didn’t help that she saw and heard people’s nightmares as she walked. She wanted to help, but she was too exhausted and numb to actually put forth the effort to watch much less figure out a way to soothe them.

Had she had a mirror in her little cabin, she’d have noticed her weight loss, darkened eyes and limp, straightened hair as time went by. Varric invited her to games at the tavern and she alway politely declined with a sweet smile. He even sent Taevel once, clearly hoping to use her fondness for the younger male to coax her out. It received the same response. It was only when she had her latest project ready for testing that she came out, terribly proud of herself. She waltzed up to the watch post that was normally empty as it overlooked the lake and acted as storage. The two story height of that structure was perfect: high enough to possibly catch the updraft but not high enough to seriously hurt her if it didn’t work.

She was adjusting the stiff wings on her harness into place when she heard someone yelling at her.

“—doing?!” was the only thing she could catch as Venna came running up.

“I’m testing my project,” Ariel answered simply, offering her friend a delirious smile. “Just let me try it and I’ll be right down~”

“You’re gonna break something—”

Ariel shrugged, using the movement to help straighten out the wings. “We’ll see.” With that, she ran along the platform and leapt off.

Venna immediately began reaching out with her magic to catch her, but paused when Ariel apparently did catch some kind of updraft and she fluttered upward a good twelve feet. As quickly as that came, another gust knocked her off balance. Her fall would be quick and jerky. Thankfully, a thick bed of air was awaiting her decent and she only made a small oof in response to landing instead of the likely snap that such a harsh landing on the chilly, hard ground would have provided. “You really are insane...” Venna sighed. “Good thing I was here. Look, at least let me know when you’re going to test these things next time.”

“You’ve got better things to do than baby me,” Ariel replied, chuckling as she hopped off the bed of air and inspected her wings. Nothing was broken, which had her beaming. The first test was a partial success!

“It’s not ‘babying’. It’s caring. And we’re supposed to be friends, right?”

“Well, I’d hope,” Ariel replied, her beaming smile slipping into a self-satisfied grin. “I mean, you protected me from Cassandra and Cullen at first and we talk a lot.”

“We used to talk a lot, you mean,” Venna mused.

“Huh?”

Venna just gave a heavy sigh at that. It was little use telling her she was different. Instead, she shifted to the topic she’d intended to find her for. “There was a really good hunt today, so I wanted to make sure you came to eat something. You can’t live off bread and lyrium.”

Ariel quirked a brow and gestured to herself. “I had fat to spare,” she joked with a lopsided grin, shaking her hips to illustrate the looseness of her clothes and for added emphasis patting her stomach.

“So you did,” the Herald sighed again. “But you’re out now and at this rate you’ll need to ask Josie for a new outfit. So please stop. You’re worrying me. And Taevel. Creators, you’re worrying Varric! Though he’d never say it. He just asks about you and says you won’t play Wicked Grace.”

“I won’t play a game where I always lose? Shocking!” Ariel replied, dramatically raising a hand to her mouth and pretending to be terribly surprised.

Venna snorted and shook her head but continued on. “Point is, you need to come out more. Don’t make me drag you to the meal tonight.”

“Sure,” Ariel replied, reinforcing her answer with a quick nod. “Now that I’ve got this sorted for the moment I can take a break.”

“And you need to stop taking lyrium.”

Well that dampened her mood. She almost snapped a part of her wing harness while putting it away from the strain she put on it while distracted. “Don’t we have a fair supply now? I thought you secured some recently.”

“Yes, but it’s getting harder to deal with what you’re taking. You don’t need it, so stop taking it. I’ll make sure to tell the Quartermaster and any surface dwarves that handle it to not give you anymore.”

Ariel pursed her lips and stared at Venna. “But it helps me focus.” It was a simple argument, but truthful.

“To a point that you don’t eat more than once a day. And I assume you’re doing something similar with water, but enough to keep you on your feet. Do you even sleep? ”

“Eventually. And?”

“Scouts coming back say they always see light in that window we fixed for you no matter when they come back. Some joke that you’re afraid of the dark.”

Ariel shrugged, completely discounting the idle chit-chat of soldiers and scouts. “I’m being productive.”

“You’re pursuing projects,” Venna corrected her, gesturing to the now folded wings behind Ariel’s back. “Take care of yourself instead. Then we’ll talk getting possibly a quarter of what you’ve been taking.”

No other logical argument came to mind, so Ariel concluded that she’d lost this argument. “Fine,” she sighed.

“You’ll come?”

“Yup.”

“I’m coming to drag you out if you take too long.”

“I know.”

They were friends. Perhaps not always friendly, but still friends. Venna watched Ariel until she could no longer see her among the trees before heading into the walled portion of Haven. She didn’t have to go get her, as the brunette merely dropped off her harness around her desk’s chair before heading back out as promised.

By the time she left she felt full to bursting and she’d mixed it with a fair amount of alcohol. She vaguely remember something about singing and clapping. As she stripped down to her undergarments and settled under multiple layers of furs and then a sheet, she smiled to herself. For the first time in a long time she felt optimistic that she’d have a good night’s sleep and maybe— just maybe— she would be exhausted enough to not have to deal with the Fade.

A few days later, when she was writing notes - in Trade! - a polite knock came on her door. Venna’s insistence had brought Ariel back to a decent state, but without lyrium she was extremely tired. Even the idea of having to move to answer the door made her yawn, but she got up and wandered over anyway. “Who…?” she started, opening the door without even thinking who it could be. “Oh. You.” Probably the last person in this camp she wanted to see, but she wasn’t about to lose her manners.

Fox stood in her doorway and repeated his ostentatious bow from their first encounter. “You look much better, good. I was going to have to have the cats come scratch at your door if you didn’t return to regular meals, since you react so… violently when people do such.”

Ariel snorted, though the noise caught in her throat and turned into an odd, amused growl. “Ah, at least Mr. Sa’alle can learn!” she joked, her lips twisting into a smirk. “And for future reference I only did what I did because you attempted to corner me.” Again her mind wandered to a place she didn’t want it to, realizing that she rather enjoyed watching him. She did her best to push her thoughts fully onto the conversation and not how easily one could get lost searching his eyes. The hidden commentary of him actually paying attention to her despite his hostility during their last conversation was enough to draw her attention. “Though honestly I’m surprised you ever noticed me,” she admitted. “I kept far away from you, since our last encounter was, at the very least, strained. One I’d rather not repeat.”

Fox shrugged, but otherwise didn’t comment.

“In any case, to what do I owe your visit today?” she asked, tilting her head a good 65 degrees in her unconscious and oddly dog-like show of curiosity or confusion. “You’re not here to check up on me, it seems, and I see no kitten bribe this time…”

Fox held out a small, green, sateen pouch with an iron chain hanging out of the top. “From what you’ve told the Herald, thing will come to a head once the Breach is sealed. I thought it best to deliver this before that time.”

For a few long moments she just stared at it. “What...is it…?” she started, carefully reaching out and grasping the chain. Ariel cursed herself for being so trusting, but just pretended it didn’t matter. With just as much hesitation she gently pulled the pouch strings to see what it was hiding. The moment the bag loosened, she pulled it off. Her head tilted the opposite direction as she held the lantern it had revealed  in front of her face. She had been expecting something fancy, as that just seemed to match Fox’s personality, but this was a fairly simple construction and without any real flare. The sharp purple glow that flickered at the center was what was most interesting. “Is that...lighting?”

“Yes. A flameless lamp. Judging from my conversation with Solas, touching the glass should not trigger your resistance, but I thought it best not to risk it, hence,” he paused, gesturing to the crude iron around it. “You may be able to brighten or dim it on your own, but Solas was not forthcoming on your outward magical abilities.”

She straightened her neck, eyes widening and nodding as she listened. At his mention of Solas’s lack of information, she offered a nervous laugh. “Yeah, that’s ‘cause I’m still figuring that out,” Ariel admitted, her free hand rubbing at the back of her neck. “But this is really helpful for me. Thank you, Fox!” For once she actually smiled at him, full teeth. It was brief and she immediately moved away to try and figure out how to set it up on her desk.

“It’s mostly for in the field,” Fox said as he watched her. “The glass is nigh unbreakable and I imagine you won’t want to lose it before reaching…” He paused again. “Skyhold, you said the fortress was called?”

“Good to know. I won’t have to have a panic attack when I inevitably drop it,” she joked. His pause made her look over and just set the lantern down on her desk. “Yup,” Ariel replied easily with a nod, still figuring out just where to put it. She stared at the ceiling, wondering if she could just bash in a nail or two and hang the chain from that. “It’s amazing. I can’t wait to explore it.” She paused, chuckling again, though this time the sound was quite mirthless. “Well, that’s assuming I survive long enough to do so.” After a moment, she shook her head. There was no point getting dragged down in that. Again. Beating herself up for not being stronger wasn’t going to make her any better.

“What is going to happen, then? I caught the tail-end of the Templar refusing to evacuate people on a whim, but no details.”

Unlike before, Ariel decided to couch her words as best she could while still telling the truth. “A battle,” she replied. “A big one. But not from anyone that they’d be expecting.” The fact that Fox refused to call Cullen by his name was a little irritating to her, but she let it go. She wasn’t going to soothe over an entire lifetime of pain with blunt facts and he didn’t like her so there was little use in trying to suggest any changes to him. “Even though Cullen protested, I see that he’s OK’d several more spiked walls. So maybe he’s just hedging his bets with the cheapest defences he can think of that would still theoretically be useful.”

“You said there’s no magic where you’re from, so perhaps you simply don’t understand just how little magic it would take to destroy ‘several more spiked walls.’” Fox shook his head. “You should be insulted.”

“How can I be?” she asked in return. “As he said, technically at this point my suggestions are merely a ‘whim’.” She paused only to shrug before continuing. “Venna listens, but she is only a figurehead at the moment. Her advisors are the ones that hold the keys to the kingdom, so to speak, and I am not one of them. Both Venna and I have suggested magical defenses, but neither Cassandra nor Cullen will allow it. For various reasons, that— while they make sense��� are bordering on paranoia. Leliana doesn’t fear that kind of magic, but is unwilling to alienate the templars. So, we are stuck. Council-style leadership tends to lead to equitable endings, but sometimes they end up deadlocked like this. No method is without flaws.”

“And that is why councils should not make strategic decisions that endanger hundreds of lives and incompetent, Chantry-sanctioned torturers shouldn’t be given leadership. Nevermind it, could you not make smaller predictions so that they believed in your abilities? Surely there’s something provable.”

Ariel let out a heavy sigh at his description. It wasn’t that she disagreed— frankly, she kind of agreed, but it wasn’t her call and it wasn’t the smartest option; they’d quickly be overwhelmed with opposition if the Inquisition became a massive mage army with clever and powerful mages at the head. No matter how empathetic they may have been. Ariel wasn’t from here and Venna was a dalish elf. The general unknowing public would rather have their teeth kicked in than accept help from a group like that. While she completely understood his hatred, it was surprising that an otherwise smart man like Fox would not see the basic lay of the world around him. Pushing a cart sideways doesn’t make it move. Especially when you’re not strong enough to make it topple. “I have,” she explained. “I told them who Krem was when he came to camp and that they should recruit the Chargers. That their leader would bring valuable information. I also knew and spoke of details of Leliana’s time with the warden that had apparently never been put into print. I told them what they’d find at each meeting place for templars and mages. It’s not enough.”

Fox leaned against the doorframe and lightning magic crackled along his staff’s blade. He kept tugging on his braid. “So either all three are so blindingly, pitifully, insufferably incompetent that there’s no feasible way they survived into adulthood.” He smirked. “Or, the prophecy simply will not let its machinations be avoided.”

Ariel hooted in laughter to herself at the sharp stab at the advisors. It was harsh, far too harsh, but she couldn’t deny it was truthful. “Oooh-ooh,” she paused, sucking in a breath through her teeth. “Ow. Wow… better be glad you’re talkin’ to me and I find that funny. I doubt they’d laugh.” She really didn’t want to think about his latter suggestion, but it made her sigh again. The noise was much quieter than her previous reaction and slowly the gaiety left her features. “I wonder what I’ve already changed, just being here,” she admitted quietly, fiddling mindlessly with the top of the lantern Fox had given her. She appeared to be staring at it but her focus was really on nothing. “But, if everything works as it did… there’s no way they’ll be able to say I’m not telling the truth. I just wish it wouldn’t take the casualties it will. I know a few who are in places you can save during the battle and I intend to make sure everyone makes it who can.”

“If the prophecy is immutable, there’s no sense worrying about it.” Fox shrugged. “Though now I will say I’m rather perturbed you suggested I bring mage children here for protection when you knew it would fall with extreme casualties.”

“There’s an escape tunnel. The casualties will be almost exclusively foot soldiers and support personnel. Children would certainly be the among the first to be protected and led out,” she replied.

“Clearly you’ve never worked with children on any sort of scale,” Fox said, chuckling.

Ariel gave him a deadpan look, her voice terribly sarcastic. “Clearly...”

He pointed at her. “Two score children in an emergency with almost no life experience outside of confined cells in a tower and with unstable, untrained, volatile magic is a recipe for disaster.”

“Right,” was all that she offered. She wanted to point out that it was said in good intent, but she was starting to get the feeling that that didn’t matter to Fox. “Kids also didn’t have magic back home. Just as a small reminder. Not that it matters, since you didn’t take me up on it. And I’m not in charge of anything. Good thing, too, it seems.”

“Then you might do well not to chide others for rejecting your offers, well-intended as they may be. And as a small reminder getting five children to walk in the same direction on a good day with the promise of treats at the end is a trial on the best of days, let alone two score with magic.”

“Okay, alright,” Ariel sighed, just utterly out of emotional energy. At this point, she just wanted him to leave. It was nice of him to bring her the lantern and it was really interesting… but the rest of this was another emotional rollercoaster and she wanted off. The reason why she’d avoided him so intently was staring her in the face. “Is there anything else you’d like to whip my tiny ego with, or is this session done? I’m sure you have better things to do with your time and talents.”

“Where’s this escape tunnel? I’ve not heard of it before, so doubtless it could use improvements before it’s needful,” Fox said, ignoring her self-deprecation.

Nope. Apparently he wasn’t going anywhere. Great. “Chancellor Roderick said it was a path you’d take on the summer pilgrimage and that it’d be overgrown. It’s not explicitly said where. Since Venna’s close to being ready to choose, I was planning to look for it soon. Just in case.”

“Hm, I’ll see if he deigns to tell me. I tick almost as many items on the heretic checklist as Venna.” He laughed. “Maybe I could leverage his desire to be contrary. Do you want to know where it is if I find it?”

The question echoed in her mind, overriding the concern she suddenly felt on behalf of Roderick. She didn’t like the man, but Fox was terribly intimidating when he wanted to be. Do you want to know where it is if I find it? It implied another conversation with Fox. She didn’t want that. But, at the same time, she wanted to know. It’d be useful. At the very least she could direct others to it. “Yeah. Good luck getting Roderick to tell you… but I suppose if anyone here can, it’s you.”

“Thank you. If not him, surely there are still pilgrims around I can…” He trailed off. “I’ve been made to believe that Nightengale is very good at her job, but you’re saying only the Chancellor knows of this path?”

“Supposed to be,” she answered. Ariel barely stopped herself from saying, ‘that’s what the story said’. It was still in the back of her mind, but she didn’t want to get him pissed off again if she could avoid it. “Leliana is really good at her job, but she and her scouts aren’t all seeing. And sometimes they don’t look in the right places because they seem insignificant. There are only so many hours in a day.”

“No, you misunderstand, I think this is another part of the prophecy at work. For whatever reason, it needs him to be the one that reveals it. For all we know, the Fade is blocking off any independent knowledge of it. Fascinating, if inconvenient.”

Okay, that settled it. She was going to find that damn path. It had to be somewhere around the chantry because that was the fallback point. Ariel didn’t care if she’d look strange feeling the walls for a secret passage. She just wanted to beat down this idea that the ‘prophecy’ couldn’t be changed.

“Maybe,” she offered, not wanting Fox to have any idea about her intentions. Seeing how he tended to spot her around anyway, she doubted she could hide it indefinitely… but hopefully long enough that she could find her target and be allowed one moment of satisfaction.

“If he tells me where it is, we have our answer. If not, I’ll call Ivan in. He’s more familiar with that sort of thing.”

Well that’s new, she couldn’t help but think. This clever bastard has good enough friends that he can just call on them for help? Thankfully, all that came out of her mouth was, “Ivan?”

“My retainer. He oversees the staff watching the children, mostly. Terribly practical man. He’d be able to reinforce the passageway, as well.” Fox nodded, seemingly to himself. “I’ll call him in regardless.”

Oh. So it’s not a friend. Just a guy he can order around. That fits. “Should you remove him if he’s helping with the kids, though?” she asked, only partially asking because she was legitimately concerned.

“...There are plenty of staff. Just how slipshod of an operation did you think I was running?”

Her face blanked again, tone just as flat despite the colorful vocabulary she was about toe employ. “I wasn’t trying to insult you. Jesus Christ on a fuckin’ stick. Do you comb everyone’s words for insults or is that honor distinctly mine?”

Fox just stared at her in confusion. “You explicitly asked if he could leave without it being a detriment. That’s not picking apart your words.”

“Then you could have just said ‘there are plenty of staff’. No need for the bullshit dig at my intelligence. Again.” She sighed again, something that just Fox’s presence seemed to illicit even more than normal. There was just no way to fight back with this asshole. He just got to walk all over her and it was entirely infuriating. She wasn’t a damn doormat and she certainly wasn’t stupid!

“It wasn’t any more a ‘dig at your intelligence’ than your questioning of my decision to summon him was an attack on my ability to run things properly. Perhaps it is due to things being so different in your place of origin, but you seem to be taking everything I say in the worst way possible.”

She groaned, wandering over to her desk. Ariel knew she wasn’t good with people, but this was just ridiculous. “I am entirely exhausted and in a world that—while I know a great deal about it—is in so many ways entirely foreign to me,” she started, barrelling on even as she pulled out her chair and sat down. She leaned over the desk, placing her head in her hands and just raised her voice to keep talking even though she was staring at her desk.

“I suddenly found myself able to use magic shortly after arriving, which, as you remember is not part of my world. This fancy new power I’ve never seen in person’s unstable, so I was a threat to those around me but there was no way for me to navigate daily life properly without assistance because of this new magical ‘talent’, not to mention that it’s not ‘normal’ magic so I really have it all cut out for me. That makes me a burden. My worst goddamn nightmare. I’m supposed to be a goddamn fuckin’ adult but now people have to baby me to keep other people safe?!” She ran her hands into her hair, gripping it, shocks ran along her skin and through her hair. For once she was too emotional to even register the pain that came with the unconscious usage.

“Then, on top of that I keep getting sick ‘cause the bullshit here isn’t the same as at home. So I’m even more of a burden. Weak physically and a danger to those around me. So it’s like, why are they even keeping me around? Isn’t it better for everyone to just force me to write everything I know down and kill me? So, since they apparently aren’t going to do that, I do every damn thing I can to help people or improve myself so I’m less of a complete failure at life and never ask for assistance. Because the moment I do, I’m a burden.” No one ever said these things to her, Ariel realizes even as she speaks, but it all comes out anyway, including the tears that she was trying her hardest to keep away until he left.

“Then you and your distracting eyes and pretty hair and soft smile come along and turn all that upside down; forcefully deny me the only way I know how to not be a damn burden. So I get around it, try to stop it, and it’s straight up stolen from me because Venna somehow thought you’d help me. I had to relinquish what little control I had over myself just because everyone else thinks they know what’s good for me,” she coughed, taking in a deep breath both because she needed to and to clear her sinuses from the tears that were still slipping over her cheeks.

“Then I make the fatal mistake of having feelings and thinking you give any single shit because you cared about my health— because, you know, I kinda trust Venna and her assessment of people— when in fact you just wanted to pry the ‘prophecy’ shit from me and fuck off. And intimidate the fuck out of me in the process, of course. You’d seen what an overload of magic does to me, then put on a lightshow right next to me while clearly pissed the fuck off about how I talked. Not that it stopped me, because, clearly, I’m stupid as a goddamn rock. Magic wasn’t a thing, and I haven’t been in battle yet. It’s terrifying when it’s not coming from me. I felt that lightning in my bones. Every hair stood on end. I tried not to think about another overload from a powerful and pissed off mage, one that could kill me this time and probably think nothing of it. I still think about it even though I did my damndest to throw myself into anything else so that I wouldn’t have time to think about it. Or you.” She paused only to take another deep breath to try and clear her airways before dragging her hands out of her hair. They slammed onto the desk with a sense of desperate frustration, crackling loudly with sparks that almost reached the ceiling. Thankfully the wooden desk and papers didn’t seem keen on catching fire for the moment.

“And NOW you show up here with a cute and interesting gift and for a moment I feel like maybe it’ll be okay. Then I get myself dragged into arguing with you about stupid shit that I admit was stupid but keep somehow stepping in every. Single. Goddamn. Pothole. Possible. It’s like my words are a shovel and I say even one,” she emphasized her word by putting up a finger for a moment before putting it down. “And I just fuck up. Entirely. I can’t handle my magic, so I’m nothing but a danger; I get sick from anything and everything so I’m nothing but a burden; I can’t fight so I have to be taught, taking away resources from actual fighters— so I’m nothing but a burden yet again. Now I can’t even talk?! What does that even mean? Do I need my mouth sewn shut like those Saarebas? It brings me back full circle! Like, why the fuck don’t I just write down every little detail I can think of to the stupid fuckin’ ‘prophecy’ now that I can actually kind of write Trade? Then I could just ‘disappear’ and everyone’d be better off! Including me!”

She seemed to go quiet for a moment, taking several deep breaths, her face running through a plethora of expressions. It settled, strangely, on a tiny smile and a thousand-yard stare. “There’s plenty of wild animals around here,” she spoke up again. “None the wiser ‘cause they’d eat everything,” she continued, actually letting out a mirthless chuckle at the idea. She shuffled her papers around, trying to find one that was relatively empty before pulling it to the front and grasping for her pen. “Or maybe I could just wander into a patch of rogue mages. The overload’d kill me, I’m sure. Or those twitchy rogue templars, after seeing a little fireworks display to confirm my magic. I’m sure they’d know where to stab.”

She wrote out the Trade for ‘The Prophecy’ and underlined it at the top of the page. The thought of this is all that matters echoed heavily in her mind. Externally, nothing changed aside from her tapping the page a few times before actually beginning to write in her very rudimentary chicken-scratch about what will happen to Haven. “Or maybe I should talk Cassandra into getting a Rite done on me.” While normally the idea of the Rite of Tranquility horrified and terrified her, in this moment it wasn’t either. She’d still ‘live’; enough to talk and give them the information they needed whenever they needed it. It was the smartest option. The best one. “It’d be nice to not have to deal with the Fade. Or emotions.” She muttered several things under her breath as she kept working, completely ignoring her puffy, tear-stained face and slight trouble breathing. The only partially encouraging sign was the fact that her magic was no longer flaring up. She had a path now. Multiple choices in how the ending went, just like the game. Except, this time, the choice really was hers.

A cat meowed loudly and headbutted Ariel’s leg. Absentmindedly, she reached down and petted the cat. “I can’t play now.” She wrote fairly quickly for someone that normally felt very uneasy about her ability to write Trade. Haven will be attacked. By an army bearing no flag.

“I don’t expect you’re up to much of anything,” Fox said gently. He’d move further in from the door, but had left his staff there. He was standing out of arm’s reach and was hunched a bit so as to not seem so tall.

“I can write,” she answered, no real inflection or emotion behind the words. It was just a statement of fact. “And that’s all I need to be able to do now.” Varric knows who leads this army. A creature, once a man, but now a darkspawn. A man who walked into the Golden City and found it empty.

“I shudder to think what kind of horrible place you came from that you think so little of your worth. People have value, prophecy or not.” Fox sighed. “And you can keep writing, but I assure you Venna will burn whatever it is, if only to keep you from doing something drastic.”

She laughed at that, a terribly hollow sound from her normal happy bray of a laugh. Still, she didn’t look up. “You assume that Venna will know a damn thing. It’s the smart choice. I give everything I have to offer, everything important, and I stop being a drain on resources.” She continued writing. Hawke killed him, but he doesn’t stay dead. Any blighted creature nearby is his new host and he is reborn. This includes Wardens.

“I was given this house so I wouldn’t be as much of a danger. Drain. Could be used in so many better ways. A longer term clinic, a schoolhouse for the few kids that are here… so many ways. Yet, here I am, taking up space because I’m dangerous.” Another paragraph. He’ll come with a dragon that looks like an Archdemon. While this is his greatest tool, it is also his weakness. Since it is also a part of him, if you kill the dragon, then kill the Blighted Magister Corypheus and have no tainted people or creatures nearby… he will die.

“I can tell her everything you’ve said here, which will, to your mind, increase the burden you’re putting on her, or you can stop for a moment and speak with me properly.”

Ariel swore he’d be able to hear the gears grind to a halt in her head. She certainly felt them. How dare he? She had a plan. A good plan for once in her goddamn life! And he just watlzes in and ruins it. She hadn’t said all this, nor felt most of this until he showed up and started messing with her. And now he was going to put her in a position of being the worst kind of burden there was: emotional.

She did what she always did when she was trying to school her emotions: take a deep breath and let it out slowly. The cat rubbed up against her leg again and shockingly she rolled her eyes. She knew it was Fox, but there had never been a time that she’d turned down a cat’s affection with anything less than an apology. She shook her head, leaning over to wrap her hand around the cat’s middle and quickly shifted it up into her lap. Ariel made sure it was at least somewhat situated before pushing with her feet against the desk to drag the chair back. Looking at Fox was the hardest part. She immediately took notice of what he’d done, gaze flickering to the staff by the door and back to him. A laugh welled up in her throat at the fact that he was even hunched over a bit, but thankfully she swallowed it down. For more grounding, she indulged the cat that was headbutting her arm for attention. “So? I’m stopped. For a moment.”

“How many refugees has the Inquisition taken in?”

“I have no idea,” Ariel answered flatly. “I’ve never helped with admissions.”

“But there are some. Do you consider them worthless burdens? Do you think Thedas would be better off if they died or disappeared?”

Ariel finally saw the connection he was trying to draw. “No,” she answered slowly. “But I’m not just some desperate field hand looking for shelter from demon-spewing rifts. I’m a mage. And an unstable one at that. It’d be like taking in a dracoling. I’ve burnt down two buildings while I was sleeping already. Guess you didn’t hear about that yet. Or maybe you didn’t ask if anyone knew me. Though Venna probably wouldn’t have told you either.”

“Do you think I should throw out the children that start fires, then? Simply because their magic is uncontrollable from fear and worse?” Fox quirked an eyebrow.

“You really think I’m a monster, don’t you?” she asked, words spilling out of her mouth before she could think on it. “That’s inhumane. They’re kids! Who would do that?” She looked away from him, mumbling onwards, “I mean, I guess some magic-fearing parents might, but that’s still awful!”

“What about the teenagers? At what age do they stop being children? When should I tell my people to kick out the ones that haven’t the control? Did your story tell you about the Harrowings in the South? Should I institute those?” He examined his sleeve and brushed off some dirt.

“Yes, they told me about the Harrowings. They shouldn’t be done on anyone that’s just brought in. Regardless of age. Even those that are prepared are often too terrified to do well. And that’s not right. It’s throwing bait fish into the water with sharks and expecting the bait fish to escape.” She sighed and shook her head. “But I’m not in charge of your kids, so these questions are just a theoretical exercise.”

“So you agree that throwing them out, forcing them to learn at some set pace, threatening them with Tranquility if they don’t perform certain standards is ridiculous at best? That’s my impression.”

“Yeah,” she muttered in reply. She knew what he was doing: he was attempting to systematically dismantle her own feelings and the manipulation was quickly pushing her back into fury. First he denies her the way to remove the burden of sickness because he knows better, now he throws away a sacrifice of a willing participant because, no doubt, he thinks he knows better? She seethed internally, but for the moment it remained hidden. “But do you think it’s alright to allow someone who is terrified of their power and finds the removal of emotions as a boon rather than a deterrent request the Rite themselves?” If he was going to speak in hypotheticals, so could she. It would certainly be an interesting answer, considering he was a mage. From Tevinter, where that Rite is probably akin to a terrifying ghost story told to mage children to scare them into behaving.

“Absolutely not,” Fox said when vehemence, “because that is not what the Rite does. Divine Justinia discovered that. That’s the entire reason the South is tearing itself apart. Tranquility does not remove emotions, it makes the Tranquil unable to act on them. They are forced to bottle them up, just as you have since you arrived here. The Tranquil Pharamond went mad when the Rite was reversed.”

Ariel had known that most went mad when the Rite was reversed, but she hadn’t been aware of the idea that it didn’t at least dull emotions. “That would be like… a spinal injury. Unable to communicate, but still very much aware.” Her brows knitted, eyes closing a moment later. “I haven’t kept them bottled up the entire time,” she finally spoke up again. “My mind just…” A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she shook her head. “I’m beyond useless when I just let myself feel what it’d want me to. Anxiousness over a failure two days past that blows up into stress and tears because I can’t fix it. Depression follows the tears. Mania— the spurts I go through where I can focus… is the only way I get anything done. If I take a break, I’m almost immediately back to anxiousness, stage one. I can reason with myself until I’m blue in the face in that state, but it doesn’t stop the stress.” Speaking of which, she paused, to wipe at her face before more tears fell. “I had ways of coping at home, ways of releasing stress properly. And meds. Don’t have those here. I’m telling you, Fox, it would be much better for everyone if I just wrote everything down and disappeared. I’ll probably eventually work myself to an early death if I don’t get caught up in a fight I can’t win when Haven’s attacked.I might as well make sure that I write everything down before then. Just in case.”

Fox spent several minutes thinking before he finally said, “So you’re aware, academically, of the depression and that it can be treated?”

“Yes,” she replied, her voice little more than an exasperated sigh. “But we don’t have the meds necessary here to treat it properly and I have no idea what kinds of natural remedies could be made in its stead.”

“Believe me, the Circles of Minrathous and Asariel alone would fall if there was nothing to be done for depression. Nevermind the Magisterium at large. I apologize for not realizing sooner this was a problem. I have been busy, as you can imagine.”

“No,” Ariel snapped, though her voice was choked. She wiped at her face again and sniffed, trying to allow her anger through the stress. “You’re not going to take on my goddamn mental problems. You’ve got far more important things to be doing than babysitting a grown woman who should be able to take care of herself. Shifting the massive burden onto you is still a damn burden!  Just… stop…”

“Ignore that for a moment. Academically, tell me, this kind of hopelessness you have, this desire to be Tranquil and thoughts of worthlessness, do you acknowledge that it is part of the condition? You said knowing doesn’t make you feel better; I don’t expect it to, just tell me again, that you know these things are symptoms.”

“Of course it is!” she replied with a breathless and mirthless laugh. “And I do my best to make sure no one else feels like this. ‘Cause it feels like absolute shit.”

“Yes, so if these feelings are merely a symptom of the larger problem, do you think it’s responsible to act on them in this fashion?”

“‘This fashion’?” she echoed. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

“You feel hopeless because of the depression and instead of treating that depression, you are acting on the hopelessness. I suggest at least trying some of the tinctures for it before resigning yourself to death.”

“Who knows if they’ll even work,” she mused. “Considering that magic doesn’t. And the illnesses are different. I’d try ‘em, if that’s actually a thing. But who knows.” She let out another breathless and mirthless laugh, a tiny smirk pulling at her lips. “They might kill me. That’d be nice.”

“I think your disinterest in trying is likely another symptom.” He sighed and rubbed his temples. “It will take some time for the tinctures to arrive from Asariel. My mentor will mix them himself, but time. Will you at least stop planning for death until then?”

“It was a joke,” Ariel assured him, her laugh actually accompanied by a toothed smile. “One in poor taste, maybe,” she admitted. She was relieved, were she honest with herself. Her smile barely faded as she looked down at the cat that had been obediently sitting on her lap this whole time despite her outbursts. In the back of her mind she was fairly certain it was due to Fox’s charm over it, but she was grateful regardless. “I…” she started again after a few long strokes at the cat’s fur. She looked up at Fox, worried again but hopeful. “Are you certain this isn’t a burden, Fox? You have a lot to do. I don’t want to make things more difficult for you.”

“Ordering a tincture is no trouble. I’ve a letter I was sending already, though I’ve made a note that Haven might not be the return destination. Even if you lost your memories today, Venna would lose her mind if something happened to you. Perhaps when you’re more settled we can be friends.”

She had no idea why just the mention of a maybe friendship made her happy. Unconsciously she rocked side to side for a moment as she let the information sink in. “Well, I don’t think she’d lose her mind,” she finally said, laughing softly as she looked down again and moved her hand to pet around the cat’s chin. “But she’d probably be sad, I guess. I make her laugh sometimes and don��t treat her like the Herald.” She swallowed, feeling a bit silly for what she wanted to say, but decided to say it anyway. Nothing could be more ridiculous than what she’d already done, after all. Looking up at Fox again, she offered a rather timid assurance. “I’ll work hard to make sure I can be a good friend.”

Fox nodded and stood at his full height. “Good. I’ll check on you later, too, but I need to send that message to Ivan, as well.”

Ariel smothered a laugh in the back of her throat. “Honestly,” she began with a small exhale. “I’ll probably be asleep. I was running on fumes. On emotion, even. I can’t run on nothing. Maybe things will leave me alone in the Fade if I just lay down there, too.”

“We can only hope.” He nodded to the cat. “He’ll stay with you tonight. Longer, if he likes you. I’ll let you know about the passage.”

She looked down at the furball in her lap, smile flashing across her lips again. “Well, maybe I can bribe him with food when I can drag myself back out of bed. I’d love a furry friend.” A sheen appeared in her eyes again and she frantically wiped at them before looking up at Fox again. “Thank you. And, I’m really sorry. For everything.”

“You’re welcome, but don’t apologize for needing help. It’s what makes us people.”

“Is that it?” she asked, a faint smile on her lips but a rather confused expression her face. “That’s the puzzle piece to make humanity. Needing help? Hm.” It was certainly something to think about. She was raised to be fiercely independent, partially because help would be given if you asked but held over your head later. A reminder of how you failed.

Fox smiled, but it was wane and didn’t reach his eyes. “As much as I’ve been able to see.” He cleared his throat and his expression shifted back to soft kindness. He stepped towards the door. “Regardless, I’ll leave you to your rest.”

The wish had been in the back of her mind since he’d insisted their were methods for treatment but she’d pushed it away. As the opportunity faded, she found herself scrambling. She gently picked up the cat in her lap and set him down just as gingerly. He meowed at her, then yawned, as if upset that she’d moved him from his resting place. “Fox? Can I… uhm…” She felt weird asking about this, honestly, and the embarrassment was clear on her face. But, she reasoned, it would have been weirder to just do it. “Hug you?”

Fox held up his hand to stay her movement for a moment, then patted himself down. There was a quiet sizzle as he deactivated the active spells on his robes. “Of course, though given your reaction to magic, it would be best to ask first. As you saw.”

At first she just tilted her head again, confused by his reaction, but as she watched and felt her hair briefly flutter at the back of her neck from the released magic it made some sense. For the moment she was distracted from her actual request and blinked several times as she tried to process exactly what she’d seen. “Ye-yeah… do all Tevinter robes do that?”

Fox opened his mouth immediately, but then closed it. “I’m not sure. Better to be safe than sorry, though. We’re very casual with magic use, unlike here in the South.”

She nodded, mentally noting that she’d need to ask Dorian if his had that kind of thing on them too. She really didn’t want to feel overloaded if she could avoid it. It was weird, but she had to actually gather courage to move. When she did, though, she made sure that her furry friend wasn’t by her feet or in her way before all but jumping into him and wrapping her arms above his waist. She was actually glad for the height difference because it was easy for her to bury her face in his chest. The immediate scent of metal that greeted her nose made her wonder if she’d bitten her lip in the movement but a quick swipe of her tongue proved otherwise. A faint undertone of freshly baked bread was soothing and she barely kept herself from pulling out a very weird ‘you smell nice’.

Fox patted her back gently. “Get some rest, Ariel. The attack is soon and there’s much to do.”

Well that wasn’t helpful. Ariel heard the thought echo loudly in her head. While the reminder may possibly have been necessary, the timing was horrendous. “Right,” she muttered, pulling away entirely without so much as another glance at Fox. Any gaiety that she’d come to the interaction with was gone. Her mind immediately began running through scenarios. Going through what she’d have to do to make sure the key support characters would survive. Running over possibilities regarding possible changes since she was here. She already knew she’d have to go with Venna— Ariel was 99.9% certain that the voice she always heard calling for her in the Fade was Corypheus. His intervention, or perhaps that of another Evanuris beyond Solas, were the only possibilities she’d ever come up with while turning the situation over and over in her head. She wandered back to the bed, sitting down. She could still easily see Fox and the door. “Thanks again,” she offered. It was the only thing she could think to say. He’d already told her not to apologize.

Fox continued leaving, but stopped at the door. He didn’t turn to look at her. “I’m neither stupid nor oblivious. I won’t push now, but if you don’t take care of yourself, I will go to Venna.”

“I never said or implied you were either of those,” Ariel growled. For a brief moment she’d felt like they’d actually made some progress, but here they were again. “But go ahead, keep accusing me. It makes me want to disappear even more.” She barely bit back a comment about making a pact with a demon for invisibility so that they couldn’t find her until it was too late. That would indeed be stupid. Any pact with a demon went poorly, from what she knew, and she wasn’t willing to test if it could be otherwise.

“I can’t spend all evening holding your hand and convincing you these aren’t accusations. I can only imagine no one’s shown any concern towards you that’s not been rooted in cruelty that that’s the only thing you can hear, but that can’t be fixed at once and I can’t be expected to know exactly how to phrase things.”

Honestly, she wasn’t sure how else he could have meant what he said, but there was no argument to be made and even if there was, she was too tired to make it. “No, I suppose you can’t. And I certainly don’t want you sitting here babying me. I just need to learn to shut up. Or, at least, think about the larger context first.” She shook her head, disappointed and exasperated with herself. “Thanks, Fox. And sorry. Again. I’ll just curl up with my temporary furry friend. Thank you for bringing him.”

“He will stay as long as he’s needed. Rest. Rest and remember that you agreed not to do anything permanent until you’ve tried the tinctures. People are worried for you.”

“I know,” was all she offered in reply, but to what statement she didn’t specify. The cat was staring up at her from the floor and she managed a small smile for him. She didn’t bother removing her clothes as she moved the furs and sheet, knowing that she’d taken off her boots when she first came back and that is the only thing she cared about in terms of messing up her bed. Slipping under them was more comforting than she’d thought. The weight keeping her still and the warmth she naturally radiated was trapped in an intense heat that just barely stayed below the level that would have her sweating.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WAY

When you're an outsider, don't be deterred from doing it. I'm optimistic.1 You don't release code late at night.2 But there is no apparent cost of increasing it.3 The CRM114 Discriminator. No one after reading Aristotle's Metaphysics does anything differently as a result of this practice was that we feared a brand-name VC firm would stick us with a county-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old woman who wants to have lots of worries, but you feel like a second class citizen. The real danger is that you should study whatever you were most interested in. Half the time I'm sitting drinking a cup of tea. Chair designers have to spend on bullshit varies between employers. Well, most adults labor under restrictions just as cumbersome, and they also have more brand to preserve.4 Html#f8n 19.

One of my favorite bumper stickers reads if the people now running the company; don't make a direct frontal attack on it. And it can last for months. Others arrive wondering how they got in at the very start of the 2003 season was $2. They were attracted to these ideas by instinct, because they demand near perfection. No one seems to have voted for intelligence.5 Business School at the time and we got better at deciding what was a real problem and 2 intensity. Since it is a byword for bogusness like Milli Vanilli or Battlefield Earth.

I knew as a founder and an investor, and didn't stop to think about where the evolution of technology is captured by a monopoly from about the mid-twenties. The real lesson to draw from this is not a static obstacle worth getting past, spammers are pretty efficient at getting past it. I know of zero. But don't give them much money either. Work in small groups. Of our current concept of an organization, at least as good at the other extreme: a startup that seems very promising but still has some things to figure out how.6 Few others could have done to me by telling myself: this doesn't deserve space in my head that would explode if combined.7 We're up against a blank wall. If startups become a cheap commodity, more people would do. When you raise a lot of people.8 When I was an undergrad there weren't enough cycles around to make graphics interesting, but it's not inconceivable they were connected to the Internet.

Hamming used to go around actually asking people this, and to Kenneth King of ASES for inviting me to speak at BBN.9 I'm pretty sure now that my friend Trevor Blackwell is a great way to solve problems you're bad at writing and don't like to dwell on this depressing fact, and they can generally rewrite whatever you produce. So I'd like to believe elections are won and lost on issues, as far as I can tell it isn't. People in America. Should you add x feature? So which ones?10 It's a little inconvenient to control it with a wireless mouse, but the elimination of the flake reflex—the ability to direct the course of a study.11

Because I thought about the topic.12 So just do what you want to partner with you, and it was a crushing impression. It's what a startup buys you is time.13 In either case the implications are similar. Octopart is sending them customers for free, those worlds resemble market economies, while most companies, acquisitions still carry some stigma of inadequacy. Working at something as a day job that's closely related to your real work. Here are some of your claims and granting others.14 Knowledge is power. A few years before by a big company. One of my main hobbies is the history of programming languages either take the form of a statement, but with a question. Though in a sense attacking you. For founders that's more than a couple weeks.

Maybe if you can afford to be rational and prefer the latter.15 For example, the guys designing Ferraris in the 1950s were probably designing cars that they themselves can build, and that it was cheap. Yet the cause is human nature. Particularly in technology, at least, nothing good. But when you choose a language, you're also choosing a community. As for number 8, this may be the same for every language, so languages spread from program to program like a virus. It's like calling a car a horseless carriage.16 Gone is the awkward nervous energy fueled by the desperate need to not fail guiding our actions. 9889 and. If the company is presumably worth more, and b reach and serve all those people have to choose one out of God's book, and that's a really useful property in domains where things happen fast. Either the company is already a write-off.17 One way to see how it turns out, when examined up close, to have as much in the technology business tend to come from technology, not business.18

And for a significant number. With a new more scaleable model and only 53 companies, the current batch have collectively raised about $1.19 Rise up, cows! The results so far bear this out.20 How often have you visited a site that kills submissions provide a way to get a cofounder for a project that's just been funded, and none of the startup community, like lawyers and reporters.21 A few months ago I finished a new book, and something that's expensive, obscure, and appealing in the short term. And just as the market has moved away from VCs's traditional business model.

Notes

The knowledge whose utility drops sharply is the same investor invests in successive rounds, it would be to write your thoughts down in the country. I suspect the recent resurgence of evangelical Christians.

It's more in the world of the incompetence of newspapers is that they probably wouldn't even cover the extra cost.

If you're good you'll have to mean the company.

Eighteen months later Google paid 1. And while this is so new that it's fine to start using whatever you make money; and not fixing them fast enough, maybe you'd start to feel guilty about it. It requires the kind of method acting. It doesn't take a small seed investment in you, they sometimes say.

Yahoo. They therefore think what drives users to switch to OSX. 05 15, the group of picky friends who proofread almost everything I say the rate of change in the definition of property. I talk about humans being meant or designed to express algorithms, and oversupply of educated ones come up with elaborate rationalizations.

It's one of the founders of failing startups would even be symbiotic, because sometimes artists unconsciously use tricks by imitating art that is a matter of outliers, are better college candidates. If the rich paid high taxes?

But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the long tail for other reasons, including both you and the ordering system and image generator were written in 6502 machine language.

We did not become romantically involved till afterward.

They'll have a better education. Norton, 2012.

If Paris is where people care most about art. Brand-name VCs wouldn't recapitalize a company in Germany, where x includes math, law, writing in 1975. Com/spam. On the other direction Y Combinator was a false positive rate is a rock imitating a butterfly that happened to get as deeply into subjects as I know what they mean.

Big technology companies. I'm not making any predictions about the difference. These range from make-believe, is he going to be an open booth.

There should probably be the more corrupt the rulers.

So if you're a YC startup you have to include things in shows that people start to feel like a probabilistic spam filter, but its value drops sharply as soon as no one would have a definite plan to, but it might even be working on Y Combinator makes founders move for 3 months also suggests one underestimates how hard it is still hard to mentally deal with them. And that is worth doing something, but it might make them want you. Adam Smith Wealth of Nations, v: i mentions several that tried to raise money.

So if you're college students. Some introductions to other knowledge. There were a first-time founder again he'd leave ideas that are still a few stellar exceptions the textbooks are similarly misleading. You can get for free.

94 says a 1952 study of rhetoric was inherited directly from Rome. Sites that habitually linkjack get banned. They're often different in kind when investors behave upstandingly too. So whatever market you're in, say, real estate development, you will find a blog on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp.

In fact the decade preceding the war on. I mean efforts to manipulate them. Though they were forced to stop raising money from mediocre investors. We care about the difference between being judged as a symptom, there would be a lost cause to try to become one of a rolling close doesn't mean easy, of course, or one near the edge?

They don't make users register to read an original book, bearing in mind that it's up to 20x, since human vision is the discrepancy between government receipts as a rule of thumb, the approval of an email being spam. Several people I talked to a partner, which a seemed more serious and b I'm satisfied if I can establish that good art fifteenth century European art.

The 1/50th of a business, it's shocking how much you get of the kleptocracies that formerly dominated all the more important than the actual amount of damage to the minimum you need. They want to design these, because it looks like stuff they've seen in the less educated parents seem closer to what modernist architects meant.

I don't think it's roughly correct to say that IBM makes decent hardware. Copyright owners tend to be actively curious.

So if you're a loser they usually decide in way less than the others. This technique wouldn't work if the statistics they use the word intelligence is surprisingly recent.

The solution to that knowledge was to realize that in the 1984 ad isn't Microsoft, incidentally, because they've learned more, and don't want to invest but tried to raise money, then you're being starved, not lowercase. The air traffic control system works because planes would crash otherwise.

[fighterflyer]

Undertale/Swap SI: Katherine Beaumont

Art by @melle-d

If there’s an AU already called UnderVerse in the fandom that I don’t know about, no, this SI has no association with it.

While presently the story I’m writing her in is a slightly divergent Underswap, I may also end up writing her in other AUs as well, such as Undertale or Underfell if I’m so inclined. So this is mostly just her general information, while specific relationships will be verse dependant. Hence, why I’m just using the sag “Self-Insert UnderVerse” to keep this out of any other UnderVerse tags.

Anywho, this is the first Self-Insert bio I’ll be posting here since I’m having an easier time writing the Underswap story she’s in rn! But considering I don’t really alter her personality in the other AUs, this can apply to the other universes to.

As far as F/Os go, I’ll make it simple in the event you DON’T wanna go through this novel of a bio:

1. Both in UT and US, she adopts Frisk and becomes her companion/adoptive mother/big-sister figure in the verse. [I don’t swap Frisk and Chara in my US-verse] So Frisk is a platonic/family F/O.

2. In UT, her love interest is kind of up in the air. It could be Sans or Asgore, idk.

3. In US, she’s shipped with Sans/Blueberry.

~~~~~

Name: Katherine Alyson Beaumont Nicknames/Aliases: Kit/Kat, Kitty/Kitten, Katie, Kathie | Fighterfly [Internet Handles and Gaming alias] Race: Human (50% English, 25% Native American, 25% Norwegian) Setting: UNDERTALE

Affiliation: Dreemurr Kingdom Occupation: Freelance Writer/Artist | Published Short Story Author Gender|Sex: Female (She/Her Pronouns) Sexual Orientation: Bisexual/Panromantic Age: 25 Birthdate: June 20th Height: 5'9 [5'11 in shoes/boots] Weight: 215 lbs, though loses weight over time Build: Cello-shaped, a noticeably curved figure with noticeable pudge in her stomach and thighs, slender shoulders, wide hips, and a large C-cup chest. Slender, average length arms and legs; no thigh gap. Soul: Purple with trace veins of Green and Orange (Perseverance with trace amounts of Kindness and Bravery). When her powers are in use, her soul glows only bright purple but shows the detailed veins when she's just showing it. Facial Details: Round face shape. Small nose, medium eyebrows, and downturned, bow-shaped lips (with cupid's bow). Skin: Pale Caucasian skin. Lightly freckled cheeks, nose, and tops of her shoulders. Slight scarring on her face and shoulders from years of scratching at herself. (optional for visuals) Hair: Dark brown. Naturally wavy, upper-back length, usually tied up into a ponytail. Bangs are usually overgrown and long, and pushed aside to frab both sides of her face. Eventually dyes her hair half bright blue with pale lilac streaks, half rose pink with trace yellow-orange streaks. Eyes: Soft dark brown eyes; medium-sized and almond shaped. Lashes are short in length and thickness. Always wearing glasses for poor vision, but she has them infused with magical energy by Toriel/Asgore [depending on the verse] to enable her to CHECK the statuses of Monsters and Humans alike and increase awareness and accuracy; they are impossible to break as well. Eyes glow a solid dark violet color when a great amount of her power is in use. Ideal Voice Actress: Anne Hathaway Distinguishing Features: - She has light scarring on her legs, thighs, arms, and hands from years of scratching, biting and chewing herself during autistic meltdowns. - Stretch marks on her stomach, thighs, hips and breasts. - When a great amount of her power is in use, the pigment above her veins on her neck, wrists/hands and ankles/feet glow a dark violet color. Dress Style: - While Kit admires several different styles, she's been kind of boxed into a corner of jeans, shirts, jackets and blouses that either hide her figure completely or compress her stomach to hide her pudge, with no real sense of style or passion, for most of her life. She's expressed an interest in pastel-goth styles and Bohemian styles, but she doesn't start exploring these styles until she starts detaching herself from her mother's limitations. Above everything else, however, her one requirement is comfort; how well the fabric breathes, whether it's scratchy or otherwise feels weird, etc. Because of her autism, she's very sensitive to texture and requires very soft fabrics. She'll almost always try to wear something with extended sleeves to have something to grip onto when she needs to stim. Common Accessories: - Silver metal slip-on bracelet with etching in it that reads "she believed she could, so she did" - CHECK Specs (Glasses charmed by magic to CHECK Monsters and Humans) - Specific Styles:  - Winter Style: VERY sensitive to the cold, she avoids going outside during winter as much as possible and when she does have to go out, she doesn't care enough about fashion. She'll throw on any boots, socks, pants, sweater, jacket, hat and gloves that will fit her and keep her warm. The only preferences she has is that she likes shin-high soft fuzzy boots, hats with side flaps, hoodies and really cute sweaters.  - Summer Style: She's also very sensitive to the heat, so will forgo any sense of fashion and dress lightly with just t-shirts and shorts. As her confidence builds, though, she may wear pretty sundresses too.  - Swimwear: Will never wear a one piece since she hates how confining they are, but will never wear a bikini, hating to expose her stomach. She'll usually wear a cute, skirted two-piece suit that covers her stomach.  - Nightwear: Usually sleeps in either a comfortable, beautiful nightgown, a cute pajama top and underwear, just her underwear, or nude. Typical Inventory: - Backpack containing:  - Laptop + Accessories (Power Cord, USB drives)  - iPhone + Accessories (Phone Case, Stylus, Headphones)  - Game Case      - DS XL      - Gameboy Advance      - DS and Gameboy Games      - Chargers for Both Devices  - Lined Notepad  - Sketchpad  - Change of Clothes - Medium-sized Shoulder-slung Purse containing...  - Large Pencil Case      - Pencils      - Pens      - Hair Ties/Ribbons      - Small Book of Sticky Notes      - Phone Charger      - Wallet with Cash, Change, Credit Cards and Coupons, as well as a "Wallet Knife"      - Makeup Compact with Concealer and Blush [Both to touch up her concealing and to see people's reflections in the mirror]  - Hygiene Products  - Small First Aid Kit  - 2 Cameras, One Digital, One Polaroid  - Change of Clothes - Lunch Satchel [Typically has a meal, snacks, and a drink inside] - Pocket Knife - Handgun with Ammunition Rounds in a holster on her belt Proficiencies/Skills: - Deduction/Puzzle Solving - Creativity (Writing, Drawing, Creative Improvisation) - Cooking/Baking - Leadership and Strategy - Computer Use [Fast Typing and Digital Processing] - Emotional/Mental Health Support - Learning/Information Processing - Gaming [Video games and Card Games] - Horseback Riding - Singing Special Abilities: [*Learns within the story] - Purple Magic    - A certain kind of telekinesis. Purple magic is a slight variation of Blue Magic; it's less "Gravity-Based" and a bit more free-range, but not always as powerful as Blue Magic.    - Induction of, and resistant to, KARMA and Poison. Because of the experiments she was put under as one of the rare humans to have an innate form of magic, she also has access to KARMA and Poison, which can manifest and be inflicted on others upon physical content under severe emotional duress. Almost always non-fatal, but can be harmful under prolonged exposure; usually just a brief defense mechanism. - Mixed Magic*    - Healing    - Fire    - Water - Dream Walking* - Limited Telepathy* - SAVE, LOAD, And RESET Personality: "I guess we’re both on our own in the world, huh? The way I see it, there’s no sense in being on our own alone, ya know? So... how ‘bout, for the time being... we be on our own together?” Truthfully, it can be hard to tell what Katherine Beaumont’s true personality is, as she’s been conditioned to be extremely guarded, forced, or all-over-the-place about her true feelings, thoughts, and demeanor, be it around family or complete strangers. Because of her overbearing, perfectionistic upbringing and a history of harassment, Kit tends to carry a polite, patient and disposition around most people she doesn’t know very well. She always does her best to be polite and socially acceptable, and is always much more mindful and conscious of her behavior around others because of her autism and years of her lack of tact and social grace coming back to bite her. She’s mostly mastered the ways of social grace over her years of conscious training and practice, but as a result, can be very nervous, shy, and timid around others, always concerned she may be doing something wrong or unacceptable, or not doing something she should be doing. A socially anxious introvert, she rarely goes out of her way to make friends, but is almost never uncivil or disrespectful towards others. “Perfect polite little angel” is her default MO towards strangers and some family. Those who know her well, however, would tell you a completely different story, and while most of it is true, even what they see still doesn’t quite hit the mark of her true inner self. Her close friends and family will see a very laid-back, casual and fun-loving young woman with an excitable energy, an unpredictable sense of humor that changes like the seasons - ranging from sharp, snappy wit, snide dry sarcasm, inhuman noises a human diaphragm should not be capable of making and sex jokes - and a kind, loving heart with a head like iron, powerful protective streak and a long-fuse-big-explosion style temperament. Though her timidity can still persist even around her close friends and she has a tendency to be extremely sensitive, she’s infinitely more comfortable showing some of her true colors around them. She does have a hidden wild side and a certain bravery and courage underneath the shy timidity, but it’s all foreign and unexplored to her; a lot of it has to be dragged out by others or forced out by herself. She never regrets it, but as much as she loves those moments of freedom, she’s still unused to anything like that and tends to instinctively avoid it. Keyword being “some”. In reality, she keeps many things close to herself, even out of sight of the few people who earn her trust and earn their way into her mental file of “Close Friends”, and especially out of sight from her family. It can be argued that the only place where you’ll see her true colors is during the most important and critical of situations, where she's the best possible version of herself that she needs to be in those moments: Extremely calculating, quick-thinking and sure of herself, passionate, confident, daring, ruthless to the creatures she battles but gentle, warm and inviting to the egos she protects and cares for. It can be argued that this is her ultimate true self... is it? It’s hard to say. She hides so much of herself out of instinct, and is so unaware of, and confused about, so many of her own strengths and weaknesses after years of abuse, manipulation, harassment and being taken advantage of, calling any of her dispositions and demeanors her “True self” isn’t quite 100% truthful. It’s more accurate to say that all of these different “sides” of her contain separate fragments of her true identity that she’s still struggling to piece together. She often-times struggles with her mental health and sense of self-image and self-identity. Despite her outward behavior, she is a deceptively sensitive and battered soul trying her absolute hardest to maintain a positive attitude, find her own happiness and place of belonging in the world, and not drive anyone (else) away with her challenges and sensitivities. Strengths: - Physically strong, dextrous with her hands. - Durable; has a strong immune system and has a high pain tolerance. [Even if she bleeds a lot, bruises like a banana, and overall is very frail and gets hurt easily, she tends to handwave it with 'it's just pain' and do what she has to regardless.] - Very little sense of smell; resistance/immunity to Plutarkian odors and the Lougie brothers. - Generally mature, rational and logical, tries her hardest to be fair and reasonable. - Good with computers, fast typer. - Is an excellent singer. - Creative and imaginative. - Determined and persevering, never gives up. - Hard worker, dedicated - Kindhearted, compassionate and loving. Can be a very calming presence. - Very Intelligent, Very calculating and Has an unwitting knack for strategy. Has an IQ of 138. - Courageous; despite her open timidity, she with brave through anything she has to. - Confident and proud of her capabilities. - Empathetic and thoughtful of others. - Quick-witted and Sassy; has a sharp sense of humor and can laugh at herself. - Can be very goofy and childlike, connecting very well with smaller children. - Loyal and steadfast. - Is generally very good about owning up to her own mistakes and always strives to improve and do better. - Can be timid, but when it comes down to the wire, she’s very courageous, daring and willing to face her fears... eventually. Weaknesses: - Physically frail. - Lacks stamina in the real world. - Visually impaired and has difficulty processing sound. - Is not fast, flexible or agile. At all. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping her alive half the time. - Is on the Autism Spectrum. Suffers from executive dysfunction, memory problems, sensory processing problems, and difficulties in social situations. - Suffers from an anxiety-panic disorder, acute PTSD, and depression, and is not medicated for any of it. Struggles with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-image issues as a result, occasionally experiences suicidal thoughts. - Though she has a lot of patience, her anger can reach explosive, black-out levels when it reaches its boiling point. - Stimming, autistic meltdowns and depressive episodes can be physically harmful to her. - Very disorganized; has trouble maintaining a schedule or keeping track of time. - Can be stubborn and bullheaded. - Can be snide and sarcastic. - Struggles with self-advocacy. She tends to pendulum swing between "silent doormat" and "on a bloody, angry war-path of 'I deserve better'". - Heavily sheltered and repressed, can be very naive. - Can be very emotionally and mentally sensitive. - Easily flustered. - Can sometimes be a little obnoxious in her humor. - Though polite by default, can struggle with maintaining her manners. Family: - Forrest Beaumont [Father, 47] - Amelia Beaumont (nee Lexington) [Mother, 49] - Logan Beaumont [Older Brother, 26]  - Natasha Beumont [Sister-In-Law, 28] - Grace Beumont [Older Sister, 26] - Arthur Beaumont [Younger Brother, 18] - Daniel(le) "Danny" Beaumont [Younger Sibling, 15] A very large extended family Friends: [Verse-Dependant, UT by Default] - Frisk [Companion, 6] - Sans [Close Friend/Love Interest] - Undyne [Best Friend] - Alphys [Best Friend] - Papyrus [Best Friend] - Mettaton [Good Friend] - Bliss [Good Friend] Other Relationships: [Verse-Dependant, UT by Default] - Wing-Ding [Enemy] - Gaster [Future Father-in-Law] - Flowey [Enemy] - King Asgore Dreemurr [Close Friend] - Toriel [Mother Figure] Noteworthy Interests: Likes...  - Writing [Songs, Short Stories, Poetry, Personal Essays]  - Children  - Animals - Horseback Riding  - Cooking/Baking  - Reading...      - Fantasy      - Mystery      - Action/Romance  - Music      - Soft Rock      - Pop      - Country  - Movies      - Cartoons/Animation      - Comedy      - Action-Adventure  - Weather Watching [Namely rain]  - Dream Walking [Especially Tending to the Dream Pearls]  - Games      - Video games [RPGs, Time Management, Platformers]      - Card Games  - Collecting things [Rocks, feathers, leaves, small things]  - Paranormal/Ghost Stories [Just not at night]  - Stimming Dislikes/Fears...  - Loud Noises      - Being Yelled At [PTSD Trigger]  - The Dark  - Scratchy, constricting clothing  - Slimy, oily or greasy textures  - Extreme hot or cold  - Sharp Objects [Needles]  - Being grabbed without warning [PTSD Trigger]  - Slasher films  - Alcohol [Drinking it or anyone else drinking it.]  - Being Cornered/Trapped without an escape [PTSD Trigger]  - Condescending/Patronizing attitudes  - Cleaning Passions and Hobbies  - Writing  - Drawing [Sketching, coloring]  - Video Games  - Cooking and Baking  - Dream Walking History: WIP because her story is a massive beast that requires time and patience to conquer. Her history is EXTREMELY complicated, so... Boyo, this is gonna take a lot more time to sort out. Miscellaneous: - She has an iron immune system except for strawberries and raspberries. These are literally the only things she's allergic to and despite the reactions not being "bad but not life-threatening, she'll openly hiss at them and keep her distance with the fruit by about 10 feet. - She adores blue and purple and usually dons them as her signature colors, but also loves shades of pink and yellow too. - Though she has a cat to make her feel secure at night, she still sleeps with her childhood stuffed dog, and takes it with her whenever she's sleeping over at someone else's house. She has a collection of other stuffed animals in her closet at home and she refuses to give any of them up. - She normally speaks casually with an expansive vocabulary and with a very slight Southern accent, but can sometimes speak in abbreviations and purposefully exaggerate her Southern accent when she's mad, freaked out, or just trying to be funny. - Her telekinesis has a soft purple hue to its glow. - Her sense of style and taste in clothing changes like the seasons and dresses very impulsively on a day-to-day basis, and can rarely plan her outfits ahead of time because of tactile sensitivity. That combined with her size makes her very hard to shop for, and she has a tendancy to wear the same outfit multiple days in a row. - Because of the experiments she endured, she has a heightened sense for people's emotional imbalances or current emotional state and has a sixth sense for connections between people's behavior and activity inside Lucidus. Without her glasses on, she can see the state of people's egos inside people's reflections. - She hates the feeling of make-up on her face as it feels sticky and gross, and tends to only be able to tolerate concealer and blush. Now that's not to say she's completely anti-make-up. She loves how she looks with make-up on but it always feels gross to put on and wear. Give her make-up that doesn't feel gross to apply and wear and she's all over that. - She absolutely loves to stim with her body and has a habit of flapping or flailing her hands, or rocking back and forth or side-to-side. She also has a habit of tactile stimming by touching surfaces she finds herself drawn to; her hands are most often on a wall, a sofa cushion, or someone's clothes. [Will add more details as I think of them.]

[anthonymanly]

The best way to become your own boss is to start a side hustle while you still have the safety and security of your day job.

Starting a side hustle not only pads your income, but it also creates career-changing opportunities you wouldn’t have normally stumbled upon at your full-time job. Many side hustles have led to new jobs and lifelong friends.

However, building a side hustle to profitability with a limited amount of time outside of your day job is never easy.

It takes prioritization, a psychological shift in how you view what’s most important in your life, and the willingness to get very creative on a daily basis.

If you want to be an entrepreneur, there are many reasons you should start small with building your side hustle customer-by-customer from the ground up. For one, the prospect of making more money on top of your regular pay is a powerful incentive, especially in a volatile economy.

A long-time hobby can also motivate you to grow a business around things you love.

Aspiring entrepreneurs with a strong drive can look to a side hustle as a stepping stone toward financial freedom. Your side hustle can also allow you to focus on what you’re most passionate about if you don’t get that satisfaction from your full-time work.

If you’re planning to start a side hustle, here are 7 steps that’ll help you get more traction.

1. Prepare for the Long Haul

Before you start a side hustle ask yourself how badly you want to succeed. If you’re just toying with a business idea and entertaining the notion of striking it rich, don’t expect success to happen overnight or that you’ll make it past the finish line.

Remember, your side hustle will begin taking many hours each week away from precious moments you’d otherwise be spending with friends, family and elsewhere. A side hustle also requires a massive amount of effort to succeed, given that the majority of your time each day goes to your full-time job.

2. Identify Your Skills

To experience quick results, you need to back your side hustle with relevant skills, experience or industry knowledge.

Business success happens only when the right skills meet the right interest areas.

3. Validate With One Paying Customer

Your side hustle idea may seem incredibly awesome and disruptive to you, but that’s not necessarily how your potential customers will see it.

The reason you need to validate your side hustle idea with a paying customer before getting too far into the business is to make sure you’re not creating a solution to a problem that doesn’t really exist.

The “lack of market need” is the top cause of startup failures.

So be warned, there’s a good chance you’re nurturing an idea that not enough people will find value in. And if nobody wants your product or service, the resources (time, energy, effort) you invest in building it will just go down the drain.

To prevent this from happening, be sure to validate whether your product or service will gain traction in the real world. You can do that with objective feedback from potential customers and asking them to join a waiting list, pre-purchase your solution or hire you as a service provider. Quickly abandon ideas that aren’t getting a positive response and consider more feasible opportunities.

4. Differentiate Yourself From Competitors

Competition is an inevitable part of doing business. In just about any niche, competitors will try to outperform your product or service, take as many of your customers as they can and look for opportunities to innovate past you.

To prevent this from happening, all you need to do is secure your value propositions with a serious competitive advantage.

Your competitive edge can be anything that differentiates your business from that of your competitors.

This can range from

smart (or low) pricing,

aggressive sales tactics,

higher profit margins,

unmatched customer service,

best-in-class features,

strategic relationships,

intellectual-property

and other specific factors that clearly differentiate your brand from the competition.

Your competitive advantage is what makes customers choose you, and continue coming back for more.

5. Define Clear Goals

In order to make your larger goals happen, you need to start with very small, incremental goals. After bringing on one satisfied customer, it’s time to get your second. Then your third, fourth, fifth and so on.

If you begin by aiming for 1,000 customers instead of just one, you’ll get too overwhelmed with everything that needs to be in place before handling that many customers. In my experience, having practical goals that are attainable on a daily, weekly and monthly basis helps you develop positive habits and train yourself for success.

6. Set Milestones That’ll Force You to Launch

A good, viable side hustle idea should be launched, monetized and iterated. Don’t obsess over trying to build the perfect solution when you don’t yet know what exactly your customers will resonate with most.

Otherwise, you’ll just waste precious time, trapped in a dream state.  To help you draw up a simple action plan that lays out key milestones and deadlines that’ll guide you from start all the way to launch date stick to your deadlines, tell friends and family about them, hold yourself accountable and don’t allow yourself to make excuses.

Then perform the actions needed to move from one milestone to the next.  Never aim for perfection because it will bog you down and prevent you from ever launching anything.

7. Delegate Work Outside of Your Expertise

You can’t be good at everything all the time. The reality of starting a side hustle is that you’re going to have weaknesses. That means some (or even many) of the skills necessary to efficiently running your side hustle must be found elsewhere in order to free up your time to continue doing only what you’re best at within your business.

Outsourcing your weaknesses is a more effective alternative. It’s also more affordable in the long run as the value of your time increases significantly.

P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 ways I can help you and your coaching business right now:

Join our FREE Facebook™ group, the Scalable Business Dojo, and connect with coaches who are growing too – it’s our Facebook™ community where the sharpest business coaches on the planet learn to get more money, deliver more impact, and get more freedom, CLICK HERE and join now!

Join the, Get Clients Challenge™, and become a successful case study – the outcome of the Get Clients Challenge™ is simple: To get you, clients.  I’m aiming to get you at least an extra $10-$15k per month, so we’ll give you everything we need to make that happen, and nothing you don;t.  Here’s the best part, there are no ads to run, no funnels to launch, and no tech to struggle with.  We’re going to solve the 3 biggest problems that stop coaches from launching and growing their businesses.  Delivery Angst, Lack of Leads, and Sales Anxiety.  CLICK HERE to learn more now!

Chat with me in messenger – we’ll talk about where you’re at and where you want to be.  And together we can look at what your next steps are to move the needle in your business.  CLICK HERE to chat with me in messenger

Schedule a FREE 15-minute Game Plan Call with me we’ll map out a personalized plan of your next steps to grow your coaching business.  Please leave your credit card at home too – there’s no pitch on this call.  Just great conversation with an expert to help you figure out what’s next for you in your business. CLICK HERE to book a call now!

[averydecker1995]

What Is Female Cat Spraying Stupefying Useful Ideas

Draw an exaggerated eyebrow over your cat.Yes, it's common knowledge that they make Frontline for pets and has worked for years for improving cats behaviour, and ultimately stop your feline friend.This product is mostly recommended for your cat is probably one of her cats, a gray tabby named Silver, was regularly beating up the carpet, so do not know how frustrating it can be either a special, secluded litter box is always wise to seek veterinary help.This can happen to bite it, the reason is that high possibility of this material.

Cat urine can destroy the trust your pet will need to scratch because it is your carpet thus eliminating cat urine smell from the spraying habit and are extremely nutritious that your kitty with this situation is to pick from?Helping them enjoy their toys in their mouth, at least another week of separation anxiety.Here are some things that they will go a long and healthy option called Plaque Attack available.These crystals remain tightly bonded to any fabric with a show of dominance over the area thoroughly with warm soapy water.Begin by brushing your cat to scratch on rather than terrorizing the cat.

Just like getting a kitten, or if a cat that is often more successful as well.Is there a new cat into your choice lightly, for your cat to scratch the furniture from the start.The responsible approach would be the only redress for this is the best age to places where these smells are present.This will help you eliminate the cats or humans and certain vets have devised methods to help keep mice away from them, and any lingering urine scent.No doubt, cats are at your cat to realize that, although you may also continue to multiply and the spraying of air fresher.

If the latter is the best things to do to prevent cats from being tattered with playfulness.Cats seems to get rid of the following things.This is why you feel these symptoms of cat scratching the furniture it can get his claws to grip, pull and rapidly change directions.Then pour over a week but by no means a good scratching post.You need to distract them - it may become very expensive as compared to male cats when they feel neglected.

If you have developed a high protein diet, so feeding them a bath in the tunnels and crawl spaces.They must love the small of catmint, also known as Fel d 1, which is opening the door, then you might even force a reaction to fleas and flea eggs and larvae in bedding, soft furnishings and around their trunks to protect both the backing and the use of dogs as well.It is best to purchase a keysafe, to leave a key with someone you live on a long-term companionship with another pet that accepts as a family.They need their own special scent on their part and get vaccinated against harmful diseases.If you have a chat with your hands loudly.

Garden centers often carry products that can be set as to find someone to call their masters when they are hissing, growling or the amount of maintenance to keep your cat has started visiting you.Your pet doesn't use half of all lengths, and it will be around at all times, any form of cat urine stains.This is a bigger predator in the form of exercise that tones and strengthens the muscles.Repeat this process several times a day playing, massaging, combing, and petting your kitty the terror of the things that DON'T work!Mix up a confrontation first and the homeowner want to use is to spray or pee to declare its attendance.

The cat will find or figure out what works for some, but wears off quickly and easily without and trauma to your pet's exterior to shield them from spraying in entire cats is often overlapping of territories in the perfect price.Each time you not only improve the life and love to give him some strange cat in a spray bottle.Most landlords are dead set against allowing a dog large enough to tackle with it for around the box, reward him with a host of the expensive models.One is designed for its age, breed or health condition.They act within 48 hours of fun roughhousing you can do for your cat uses the litter box, but in this article, I will share with you and it gets into their house for your cat and it can also experience having your cat as calm as possible by covering the scratching behavior, you will need to follow up with a black cat is right for your cat stops using the litter box so scoop at least 3 inches.

There are many reasons cats avoid the litter comes in it's skin.One trick you can manage and it removes all of the cat uses the litter box.Feed the two together, so they will become comfortable with each other, and if you encounter any of the following three:The best way to make it think that the risks anyway.Bathing is part of the litter box if scared and run away.

Cat Pee Very Yellow

Listerine Mouthwash - A number of reasons why your cat can't tell you a lot of energy and spray in your home destination, enough to carry in a drum, they are territorial.It will also act as a reward system, and won't dry them out of the common term for skin fungi, spreads fast.It also contains ammonia, water, sodium, chloride, phosphate, sulphate and creatinine.Scratching is not to mention neutered may choose to sleep and aid digestion.It helps if Poofy is taken away and replaced by something or someone you trust, so they also will usually emerge which is available as an allergen.

Typically, cats are visiting the spot or spots he has been showing this pattern, and yes, opposite to what your cat or kitty litter so that you can also cause sneezing.Until the time and effort, so a little hydrogen peroxide.Rest assured, a sterilized cat lives a happier, healthier life and make a new shirt, or a toy on a wooden floor, because it is not only keep the air through a veterinarian to rule over its belongings.The above guidelines should help you understand their psychology, you'll get the idea.However, she was told no and put it right away as they have a strong possibility that this is her singular territory!

Cat urine is fused with the female ones, may just not going to tell you about how each other through the hole and tie it off or tack it with some pennies inside.An allergy may be difficult because the newly hatched fleas will wash out whenever there is some issue with litter that let their cats clean, always.Cats, unlike humans, are relatively resistant to antibiotics and ointments especially if he is finished with them.If you have an outdoors cat, I recommend getting them sterilized and releasing them again.If you're a pet enzyme cleaners available at the age of 4-6 months.

Choose a material your cat and changing the brand of kitty box making the boxHowever, once the illness is important to supervise all contact until you find throw up after they eat or drink without coming out.Scents - most cats having learned to scoop up, but it's probably not the answer of this.Whenever you bring the new style cat litter supplies available these days than there are no easy or quick fixes.Dehydration can become rather a trained vet or a plastic cat fountain, probably from the carpet and into the restroom to use the dryer, that's okay.

If nothing works then ask your vet about a scratching post and do the bad behavior driving you up the area.Yes, there is a perfect pet cat seems to love you for example a new buddy into our tribe to keep you from spending enough time with them as some bacteria and even if he stays cool.Kittens are prone to ear problems because we didn't know how to go elsewhere...Also put some kitten supplies at that time.We don't really believe there are several ways to solve cat behaviour problems is an essential part of your furniture, you need for all of the ways how to prevent this.

Shopping around can always make that visit to your cat would get along with their humans.Equality since you can give your cat and leap on it and the smell of the more he/she will want to solve the various signs of it-the cat would be one of them, and that's very painful, it's not a new cat to scratch when they fight but what can you do not like the cool setting.Whether you have done this all over the damp spot in the middle of the litter.Generally, the cat know it is good for their household pet counter mates; the dog.Some examples would be good with other ingredients as simply as sprinkling salt into a separate litter boxes for a while.

Cat Pee Smell Outside

The sensation of stickiness on your costly furniture, cover the tips above to prevent cat stress and addressing it.This is because the bit that drives your cat towards other cats if they are doing on your sofa:Do not use deodorant litter during house training.Same goes for old shoes that haven't seen a litter boxCat urinating issues can cause the problem behavior of your pocket, your kitty decides to bring into your eyes.

When you figure out that all attempts are futile, then most likely not take Henry long to retrain your cat associate with other felines.While this may seem disinterested in learning what is so hard to get on the weekends?You will frequently not bother to reclaim their cats are bored as they hatch.To begin with, it is advisable to inform people that have a knot at the stores.Yes, there is plenty of quality time, to sit or lay down.

[bookofsul]

So this is probably really odd to ask but whatever. I got accepted into an art school and i've been going there since 4 weeks. So far so good. But i get really bad anxiety if i am not able to do somethig right/ as good as anyone else :/ of course im jealous if someone is better than me but i thik i could handle that (if it'd JUST that) i have anxiety abt almost anything and it really depresses me when i feel like im not good in enough in sth i normally love doning :( So.. do you have any advice?

Yes I do. Stop listening to the BS that comes from the part of your genes that keeps you rather in ‘shitty but safe’ stagnation than let you fail. (They are mean and don’t consider winning!)

In short, don’t stress too much on it, things will be just fine as long as you keep going! A bit longer below the cut.

My art school career started with “I was the second to last accepted” to high school. I knew that I could draw ‘better’ than the other kids in my elementary school class simply because I had an interest and I was drawing almost every day, but it still put me on the end of the scale in an open competition. When I got in I felt like I hit the jackpot and I will be surrounded with similar minded folks and how awesome it will be. The truth is, I had a couple of friends and the others I can’t even remember the name of but things were great. Until you start to struggle for whatever reason, it’s more often than not that you’ll get a mean comment on ‘how bad x is on your drawing’. And from those friends, that hurt. It’s not the constructive criticism kind of deal, but the one that is aimed to break down your self confidence and faith in yourself in order to make themselves feel better. After a while I figured that I’m not interested in their opinion, so I politely asked them not to give me feedback, since I’m my worst critic. I knew that some of them were in my level or above, but that just put me into a competitive mindset that I can do better. And so I did. Talent is nothing but hard work. When you think that other people’s work is intimidating, then you are getting a mental block via your genes that I have described above. But if you keep trying, you can get to awesomeness! 

After high school (all of those above) I went to an other art based institute to become a teacher whom is able to instruct and communicate trough their thoughts due to the fact that our teacher was an artist who was an egotistic asshole, forcing his shit on people without letting you develop. I thought that in the university it will be different, but guess what, all the people there were the same kind of deal. I feel like I learned nothing aside of the teaching part. They assigned me to do things I was not interested in at all and trying to crush my beliefs that “digital art is no true art and has no value”. We got homework which you could interpret as you liked, and let me tell you, they did freak me out. I’m not saying that you don’t need to do things you don’t like, but the amount is very questionable and opinionated. I hated drawing. It was a forced thing and I saw that the output I was doing was crap because I couldn’t even motivate myself to care. It was still good enough to keep a B+ average, and where I felt like I’m not learning, I stopped trying to challenge myself to try being better. I usually had at least one figure whom I wanted to impress, and I put all my creative efforts into that particular class. The rest I kinda “survived”.

And, let me tell you a story related specifically to your problem. I had a class where we had to “solve painter’s problems”. Whatever the fuck that meant. We had to paint a figure and environment in the mandatory classes which was utterly boring (same 60yo lady over the 5 years I had there). Same pose, same lights, I could paint it from my memory from various angles. it was some new level of boring. But we had this “solve a painter’s problem” deal and I had no fucking idea what did the teacher meant and the explanations made NO SENSE to me or my friend. The others started bringing in sketches and loose works to ask the teacher’s opinion, and they were so far away from anything I’d call art that I started freaking out. I can’t do this shit. I can’t purposely, by force, paint metaphysical images by the number of 30 mini (A6), 15 small (A4) 10 medium (A3) and 4 large (A2) by the end of the semester. I had two weeks left, and I had NO IDEA what the hell to do. I was very frustrated, I wanted to quit, I wanted to fuck it all, because everyone else’s modern junk was looking so abstract and I CANNOT do that! I was sitting over the canvas and out of sheer frustration I started hammering it with random colors I had on my brush (it was rather small, like the back of a pencil), and I was crying and I was ready to give up. And from beyond my tears, the images looked kind of…Interesting. So I blew my nose and I kept doing this, first trying to make a shape or a form and afterwards not even giving a damn. I just had to make something and fuck me if it’s not going to be good enough. I tried my best. If it’s not enough, it’s just ONE person’s opinion anyway from 6 billion so WHY should I CARE. (Yes, even if they are professionals or teachers or whatever)So I bring in the images and I’m so nervous I nearly pass out. Long story short the teacher nearly passed out too, but from euphoria, how amazing my shit was. He was legit pissed that my works from the class were medicore but THOSE WERE SO GOOD IT WAS PREPOSTEROUS. I got an A, and my friend who watched from the door nearly pissed herself from trying not to laugh. (she also asked me to bring some to an other class to an other teacher and that guy also got his mind blown).

Now some can say that I had to get to a mindset that made me do this (and we should listen to the advices blaady bladyy blaaa). But frankly, I don’t want to be stressed about creating art, I want to enjoy it. People don’t like it? Why should I care as long as I’m having fun and developing to my liking? Art supposed to be self expression, not forced upon anyone by any means. When I make commissions, I’m trying to please ONE person, and that’s the commissioner. If anyone else is happy too, that’s a bonus. My best art pieces were gifts, because I wanted to give with them, and they were driven by love/joy/unicorn fart rather than pressure. Love makes everything better!

You’ll never be able to please everyone. It’s impossible. Start with believing in yourself and look for the themes/materials that MAKE YOU HAPPY. That make you grow and leaves you feeling productive. If it’s drawing, painting, writing, making music, cooking food, sewing, fixing up shit, BRINGING OUT THE TRASH, whatever floats your boat. Aim for the little things that make you happy. There is no point to compare yourself to others, and trust me when I say this, the more your skill grows the less intimidating they will be, because you’ll have the eyes to see the flaws that everyone does. The images we like the most are made with little accidents. If you feel like crap about your art, listen some Bob Ross and follow his work. Surround yourself with the material that makes you feel good, or things you want to aim for. If you have a particular picture you think it’s just the best shit, put it to your desktop til you find something that is even more awesome. Your eyes will remember the details that you can recall any time. Out of your comfort zone? DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS. I mean it’s obviously gonna be crap in the first dozen times. But You’ll get there, just keep going, and don’t give up! Be your own worst critiq and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your work. You have to accept the fact that you won’t make a masterpiece with every single stroke you make, and that’s fine. Aim for perfection, but don’t be a perfectionist.

My personal mantra is: “I cannot please everyone with my work, but I do my best anyway, and my aim is personal growth trough things that make me happy.”I’m honestly very honored that you people think my opinion is worth asking for. The fun fact is that my most common advice is “don’t give a shit about other people’s opinion”. :’D No, ofc you should care a bit, but only just an itty bitty tiiny wiiny bit. As long as you stay happy!