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herpronuonsarefemslash · 4 years ago

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SNEAK PEEK: Eyes of Army Green

An upcoming patron exclusive story series. Omegaverse Alex and Kara as Marines in Vietnam, where Kara is assigned to Guard Senator Luthor’s daughter and Alex meets a cute nurse named Kelly... If people like it enough, I might do one of them back stateside getting caught up on the whole ‘peace, sex and drugs’ thing. More goodies at: https://www.patreon.com/alephthirteen?fan_landing=true

War is nasty. Watching this brute buzz Kara's golden curls off is a goddamned crime. The boys on the bus gave them a lot of shit—girls can't be Marines—and Alex politely reminded them that any alpha can volunteer if she so fucking chooses and on a bus full of college boys whose number came up, that was all it took. At least they got sorted to the same barracks. Kara even has the bunk above her, which is so lucky it feels like her birthday, Christmas, and the first time an omega sucked her off all at once. Then again, that may be because there's only three women here, them and a dark-eyed brunette who seems ready to stab anyone and everyone here. The stranger is bunked with a massive black recruit with a shaved head. Now a man with a face like a clenched asshole and a haircut made entirely of right angles is walking up and down the bunks. "I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Sir!' Do you maggots understand that?" "Sir, yes, sir!" "Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair." "SIR, YES, SIR!" "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings!" "Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair!" "And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?" "Sir, yes, sir!" "Bullshit! I can't hear you!" "SIR, YES, SIR!" Alex expected bad but even Jeremiah's warnings didn't prepare them. The first thing Hartman does is take their names. Alex becomes Private Rusty, after the sprouts of red hair still visible. James Olsen becomes Private Eightball. Kara seems to be a particular project of his. He spends a full hour yelling how she ought to be in Playboy, or a strip club, or anywhere other than in 'his Beloved Corps' so the next day she annihilates the obstacle course, setting a record for recruits from Able Company's barracks.

Now she's Private Supergirl. A beta with a movie stars jaw and a growly voice—Lockwood—becomes Private Pretty Boy. A shy young man from Texas named Winn becomes Private Cowboy, and Hartman makes a point of making fun of his Cross of David necklace three times a day. Alex stuffs hers into her footlocker, figuring she'll take it out when they graduate. Winn's an omega, which is in nearly as short supply as female alphas here. Worst are the Graves twins. The one bunking with James—Mercy—doesn't get a degrading nickname and given all the talk about killers, that's terrifying. Her brother Otis becomes Private Pyle, and he can't do anything right. Hartman takes it out on them and Kara adopts Otis to 'unfuck him' as the Sergeant so delicately puts it. It works a charm...until it doesn't. Alex is assigned to recon and Kara to military journalism. The day after they get their assignments, Alex finds Otis in the toilets with the top half of his head missing. Every single thing about his rifle is perfect. Polished. Oiled. Maintained.He could barely figure out which end the bullets came out of until Kara taught him. Private Pretty Boy says he's her first confirmed kill, and Kara beats the smug-faced beta so hard he has the limp two weeks later at graduation. Alex looks up at Jeremiah and Eliza. Both beam down at her and Kara. Her stomach leaps into her throat the moment they board the plane headed for Vietnam and stays there for two days until they're touching down in Saigon. Alex develops a knack for quiet kills and clearing enemy tunnels. Kara develops a knack for following her somehow, and the moment their captain sees her photos from the bush, they forgive Kara for going semi-AWOL and give no more punishment than latrine duty. After that, someone has the brilliant idea of putting Kara with Alex's squad and making celebrities of them. Night after night in the rainy, reeking jungle with James, Winn, and a man the size of a refrigerator named Animal Mother. She takes the advice of the nastiest marine they meet and tells her team to strip Vietcong corpses for their weapons. Whoever builds their guns knows how to build something that mud, muck, and just pure wet don't affect. So they squirrel away enemy guns in their rucksacks and keep their M-16s handy for inspection day. James stays back to back with Alex, his shotgun clearing whatever Alex doesn't with her rifle. Winn proves to be a competent sniper after he gets ahold of a Soviet rifle. Kara somehow scores a zoom lens the size of an artillery shell and acts as his spotter while taking her photos. She has killed no one yet, and that suits Alex just fine. They've been in Da Nang for three weeks now. The Sea Tiger is changing leadership and they park the whole so that no one takes any photos or writes any articles that the brass wouldn't care for. Kara loves it. She's eaten sixteen types of noodles in the last week and taken photos of each. "You do realize that some of these cooks are probably VC, right? Any one of those could be poisoned," Alex huffs as she scoops her rations into her mouth. "I'd smell it." "How?" "Supersenses. Didn't you hear? I'm Supergirl!" One thing that they don't have to deal with is the whores. They seem to avoid female alphas like the plague. The men aren't so restrained, and the shed behind the motor pool reeks of omega, jism and stovetop cooked perfume. Alex jokes that their balls might be blue as a Navy dress uniform, but at least they haven't gotten the clap. Kara jokes that she'll probably meet the love of her life over here.

#abo #dansen #supercorp #military AU

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janiedean · 5 years ago

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*Roose Bolton voice* I'm dissapointed in you

HEY ANON SORRY FOR THE LATENESS BUT I’M SURE YOU SENT THIS FOR SPRINGSTEEN ANALYSIS, RIGHT? ;) then sure let’s have something! what can I get for you with the roose bolton voice, hm…

OH OKAY LET’S GO BLEAK POLITICAL.

youtube

so: SEEDS!

Seeds is an outtake from born in the USA and was only properly published in 1998 when it ended up on tracks (a four-cds compilation of outtakes that still doesn’t even fucking scratch the surface of what he has in the vaults bruce come on take the rest out), but as a lot of other bruce songs that were never technically published on official records it has enjoyed a very lively life on stage/live especially when our man gets political. we should probably put as a premise, other than that, that this was one of bruce’s first political pieces following the vein that would then end up in bitusa, tom joad, youngstown and so on, and as a lot of those songs it focuses on poverty/unemployment in the us of a. it’s not a coincidence that it was out of the bitusa sessions post-nebraska, but then again nebraska was his first record with Serious Political Themes and half of the original songs ended up on bitusa anyway so those records are pretty much tied together.

also, seeds has been a favorite throughout the bitusa tour (the one where bruce dissed reagan) where it was played along the title track, a cover of war that you can find on the live 75-85 box set, johnny 99 and atlantic city. as in, basically it gave you a pretty straight bleak picture of the current times, and it came back with a vengeance post bush-jr and I’m 100% sure it’ll show up again when he tours post-trump.

anyhow, as I think I’ve bored you enough with the technicalities, let’s move on to the actual thing. so, what do we have?

Well a great black river a man had foundSo he put all his money in a hole in the groundAnd sent a big steel arm driving down down downMan now I live on the streets of Houston town

so, we’re starting with a bang. first thing, the song’s title is seeds, which should suggest us that it’s about either agriculture or farmers.

except that it opens saying that ‘a man found a great black river’, and at the end of the stanza we find out that we’re in houston, so presumably around texas, so the black river that then turns into a hole in the ground with a big steel arm driving down down down (which considering the fast rhythm of the song gives you anxiety just hearing it) means that someone found oil and started drilling it in texas and as a consequence the narrator lives in the streets of one of texas’s biggest cities, so we can suppose that this guy was a farmer, he lost his land because of the oil drill and now he’s homeless. NICE START GUYS! but let’s go on.

Packed up my wife and kids when winter came alongAnd we headed down south with just spit and a songBut they said “Sorry son it’s gone gone gone”

next stanza, we find out that our guy has a family that he had to pack up when winter came along, so either his land was dead because of the oil drill or he couldn’t support them anymore out of farming. now, this could either be set in texas or not, but since in the eighties a lot of people from the north who lost their houses or land and used to be farmers or steel workers or so on went to texas because it was said to be someplace they could get jobs (again I know I say it every damned time but if you read dale maharidge’s somewhere like america or journey to nowhere you’ll see exactly what I meant), so either he went to texas from a nearby state or he was in northern texas and went down south, but the point is: he lost his job, he was a farmer (so not in a good position to start from since farming hasn’t made much money for small owners for a while) and now he’s gone to texas with a spit and a song (ie: hope), but as the song’s music keeps on being fairly bleak, the only answer he’s given is ‘sorry but it’s gone, gone, gone’, as in: if he wanted work, there isn’t any.

Well there’s men hunkered down by the railroad tracksThe Elkhorn Special blowing my hair backTents pitched on the highway in the dirty moonlightAnd I don’t know where I’m gonna sleep tonight

If we thought that was bad news, though, we’re just getting started, because not only our dude isn’t the only one in that same situation (men hunkered down by the railroad tracks, referring to the fact that in the eighties a lot of people had started riding trains again like in the great depression so they slept near the railroad - the elkohorn special is the name of a train), in tents along the highway in the *dirty* moonlight which suggests you a fairly bleak, sad picture. also, he doesn’t know where he’s going to sleep tonight, which means he doesn’t even have the tent.

Parked in the lumberyard freezing our asses offMy kids in the back seat got a graveyard coughWell I’m sleeping up in front with my wifeBilly club tapping on the windshield in the middle of the nightSays “Move along man move along”

solution: sleeping in the car, since they don’t have anything else. so, the guy and his family try to sleep in the car in a lumberyard with his children being sick (graveyard cough, suggesting that it’s pretty damned bad), except that they can’t even do that because the police shows up and tells them to leave, which was apparently common practice in texas at the time (again: same thing happened to the reporters in the aforementioned book because they had a car with ohio plates…), so they can’t stay and have to *move along*, but to where? we just don’t know.

so: the guy used to be a farmer, lost his job, went down to texas to look for work with his wife and kids, didn’t find any, was treated like crap and can’t even sleep in his car with his family, the alternative is tents along the highway or a railroad in winter, his kids are sick and there’s no hint of salvation anywhere nor of government help nor… really much of anything.

Well big limousine long shiny and blackYou don’t look ahead you don’t look backHow many times can you get up after you’ve been hit?

now, that’s it for the backstory - we don’t know where the narrator ends up or if he finds work. but we learn his opinion. first of all, he talks to a generic ‘big long shiny black limousine’, which we can automatically assume means that he’s talking to someone rich (or the idea of someone rich) who could afford such a car (he certainly can) accusing them of not looking ahead ( = not seeing the consequences of their greed, which we can tie back to the oil drill in the first part that started our guy’s problems) and of not looking back ( = can mean that they don’t care for who comes behind them in wealth or that they don’t remember not being wealthy or both), and then asks them, how many times can you get up after being hit, as in, how many times could you fall on your feet before you end up like me?

we just don’t know, but probably more than the narrator… though one supposes the narrator is hoping the time comes for them, too. that becomes veery clear in the next part:

Well I swear if I could spare the spitI’d lay one on your shiny chromeAnd send you on your way back home

if he could spare the spit (which suggests he can’t, so maybe they barely even have means to drink and eat) he’d use it to spit on the limousine ie what stands for enormous undeserved wealth that a) the narrator will never obtain, b) caused the (economical) situation that brought the narrator to misery, so we also can see that the narrator is absolutely aware that his poverty is tied with the fact that rich people don’t care for the likes of him and would throw him under the dirt in a second, nor care if he can’t support himself anymore. and then he’d send the rich person back home, if he could. but he can’t.

and that’s bleak enough, but then we get to the last part and it gets possibly worse:

So if you’re gonna leave your town where the north wind blowTo go on down where that sweet soda river flowWell you better think twice on it JackYou’re better off buying a shotgun dead off the rackYou ain’t gonna find nothing down here friendExcept seeds blowing up the highway in the south windMoving on moving on it’s gone gone it’s all gone

at this point, the narrator is addressing someone else - someone named jack who could be anyone as it’s an extremely common name - who might want to go south and tells him not to. going south means leaving a town where the north wind blows (so where it’s cold and there’s nothing for them) to go where that sweet soda river flow which paints an imagery of a river overflowing with sugary refined drink… from which poor people can’t serve themselves anyway, and according to the narrator if that is the plan, then you’re better off buying a shotgun ie killing yourself before you go south because there is nothing down there except seeds blowing up the highway in another type of wind, so the seeds they might have planted back home are getting wasted along the highway people sleep on… and everything is gone and they have nothing left.

and the fact that it’s this bleak is probably why it didn’t end up on the record proper (admittedly bitusa has a slightly different feeling so it probably wouldn’t have fit given that it’s a lot more raw and musically angry than any other song on that record except maybe bitusa but the electric version lures you in with the beat and you don’t realize how angry it is until you hear the original imvho), but it’s sadly a fairly accurate portrayal of how things were going bad economically for all the people laid off without a second chance to find something better in the late 70s-early 80s. too bad that things haven’t changed and this piece has stayed pretty much relevant even these days.

thank you anon with the roose bolton voice, I hope you enjoyed the fruits of your disappointment ;)

#bruce springsteen for ts #seeds #i need to compile all of these in one post tbh #springsteen birtjday extravaganza 2k19 #ty!!!#Anonymous #ask post #bruce meta

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nigeiadigitalmarketingcompany · 5 years ago

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As Risky Finances Alienate Investors, Fracking Companies Look to Retirement Funds for Cash

Digital Elixir As Risky Finances Alienate Investors, Fracking Companies Look to Retirement Funds for Cash

Jerri-Lynn here. Just the latest installment in DeSmogBlog’s ongoing coverage of fracking follies. The still unprofitable industry now turns to pension funds and private equity for capital. What could possibly go wrong?

By Sharon Kelly, an attorney and freelance writer based in Philadelphia. She has reported for The New York Times, The Guardian, The Nation, National Wildlife, Earth Island Journal, and a variety of other publications. Originally published at DeSmogBlog.

A year ago, Chesapeake Energy, at one time the nation’s largest natural gas producer, announced it was selling off its Ohio Utica shale drilling rights in a $2 billion deal with a little-known private company based in Houston, Texas, Encino Acquisition Partners.

For Chesapeake, the deal offered a way to pay off some of its debts, incurred as its former CEO, “Shale King“Aubrey McClendon, led Chesapeake on a disastrous shale drilling spree. Shares of Chesapeake Energy, which in the early days of the fracking boom traded in the $20 to $30 a share range, are now valued at a little more than $1.50.

Encino has marketed itself as a stable source of long-term returns (something the industry overall has struggled so far to create), attracting the managers of one of the world’s largest pension funds to drill and frack the land that Chesapeake sold off to repay its enormous debts from fracking nationwide.

A Unique Model’ for Shale Drillers

Chesapeake, of course, is not alone in discovering that shale drilling can be financially disastrous for investors. In 2018, the top 29 shale producers spent $6.69 billion more than they earned from operations, an April report by Reuters concluded — a spending record racked up two years after investors began pushing shale drillers to start turning a profit. In December 2017, the Wall Street Journal found that shale producers had spent $280 billion more than the oil and gas they sold was worth between 2007 and 2017, the first 10 years of the shale drilling rush.

“We lost the growth investors,” Pioneer Natural Resources CEO Scott Sheffield recently told the Journal. “Now we’ve got to attract a whole other set of investors.”

Encino, which bought up Chesapeake Energy’s 900,000 acres of drilling rights in Ohio’s Utica shale in that $2 billion deal, may have found its “other” investors: the Canada Pension Plan Investment Board (CPPIB), which manages retirement funds on behalf of the Canada Pension Plan.

Ray Walker, Encino Energy, starts the #DUGEast Conference off in a fireside chat with host Richard Mason. Walker says the Utica will really surprise people going forward. Encino has 900,000 acres in Ohio. “We have a lot of running room.” pic.twitter.com/SA0l3PgnCS

— Hart Energy Events (@HartEnergyConf) 19 June 2019

“We’re not your typical private equity company in that the Canada pension plan is I think the third largest pension plan in the world,” Ray Walker, Encino’s chief operating officer, told attendees at last month’s DUG East shale industry conference in Pittsburgh. “They have a long-term view on capital and they don’t expect their funds to start declining — in other words more people [in Canada] are putting in today than will be taking out, and they don’t expect that to flip til 2050-plus.”

“So, it’s a unique model and it’s something I had not ever run across in the industry,” Walker, who served as chief operating officer for the gas drilling company Range Resources until early 2018, added. “It’s what really attracted me to come out of retirement, to do something different and a little bit more exciting and a long-term — really long-term view.”

“Patient money,” responded moderator Richard Mason.

“Yeah,” Walker replied with a laugh.

“Who’d have ever thought, right?” said Mason.

Long-Term Investments as the Climate Changes

The Canada Pension Plan — often compared to the U.S.Social Security system — is funded by mandatory contributions from workers’ wages that generally begin at age 18 and end at age 65. The CPPIBinvests that money on behalf of the plan.

Last May, Mark Machin, the chief executive officer of the CPPIB, pledged to start taking the risks associated with climate change more seriously.

“We’re going to make a huge push on it this year,” he told the Calgary Herald. “We want to do a much better job of being able to understand the risks that we’re taking on in each investment and the risks we have embedded in the portfolio, and make sure we’re being paid for them.”

As part of our climate change work, we’re a strong Task Force on Climate-related Financial Disclosures supporter and one of two stand-alone pension fund managers that are members. Their new report shows nearly 800 organizations support TCFD’s recommendations. https://t.co/cC2O0GYyaY

— CPPIB (@cppib) 7 June 2019

As the impacts of climate change are increasingly felt around the globe, watchdog groups have pushed pension fund managers to keep in mind the ways that climate change will impact the global economy in the coming years and decades.

“Pension funds have legal obligations related to their fiduciary duties, to consider long and medium-term risks, such as those related to climate change that could have adverse effects on their investments,” the Global Initiative for Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights wrote in an April 17 report. “Such risks include physical impacts of climate change on pension fund assets and investments, but also the increasingly evident risk of stranded assets and the associated legal risks of failing to address the climate-related risks.”

Other large pension funds have concluded that the oil and gas industry carries too much economic risk to make for a sound long-term investment — even without taking climate change into account. This March, Norway’s $1 trillion Government Pension Fund Global announced that it would be divesting from oil and gas exploration firms, a move affecting $7.125 billion worth of its holdings.

“The objective is to reduce the vulnerability of our common wealth to a permanent oil price decline,”Norway’s finance minister, Siv Jensen, told The Guardian as the move was announced.

Most of the money in Norway’s sovereign wealth fund comes from the profits it derives from oil and gas production. The decision to drop certain oil & gas investments isn’t based on climate change but fear of price volatility in oil and gas stocks. https://t.co/WDqG0Yy43r

— Mark Hand (@MarkFHand) 11 March 2019

Outside observers have specifically warned that pension plans that invest in shale companies might wind up with regrets.

While the shale drilling industry’s financial instability may not be so large as to pose an overall risk to the financial system, “I think there’s risk to pension plans that are pouring their money into private equity firms, which in turn are pouring billions into shale companies,” Bethany McLean, author of the book Saudi America: The Truth about Fracking and How It’s Changing the World, told E&E News in a September 2018 interview. McLean is also widely credited as the first financial reporter to take a critical look at energy company Enron before its collapse.

In addition to the long-term risks that all fossil fuel companies face from the drive to keep oil, coal, and gas in the ground and prevent catastrophic climate change, shale drilling companies face some unique long-term risks.

Many shale drillers told investors that they plan to drill multiple wells — in some cases 20 or more wells — from the same well-pad. But the industry has discovered that those later wells, called “child” wells, often perform worse than the first well drilled, called a “parent” well.

“It’s something we’re all trying to synthesize,” Encino’s Walker said in Pittsburgh as he discussed parent-child well interference. “There’s still a whole lot of learning curve to go through. But I think the one thing that everybody is noticing, probably even more so in West Texas than up here, is that parent-child relationship is playing a huge role in the recoverable reserves. In other words, the second, third, fourth well are not anywhere near as good as the first well.”

A Gamble on Shale

The stock markets and banks have become increasing unfriendly places for shale drilling companies as the oil and gas industry has under-performed compared to other parts of the economy. This has left drilling companies hunting for capital to fund continued drilling — and they are increasingly turning to so-called private equity — a category covering both private investors like Warren Buffett and asset managers like pension funds.

Drilling companies plan to source 40 percent of their capital for 2019 from private equity funds, according to a recent survey by Haynes and Boone, compared to 26 percent from selling the oil and gas they produce, 21 percent borrowed from banks, and 12 percent in debt and equity from capital markets like Wall Street.

Privately held companies like Encino are more opaque than publicly traded oil and gas companies because they generally are not required to make their financial information public. That means there’s little publicly available information about how private shale drilling companies have performed over the past decade. And every shale drilling company has unique financial prospects, based on a broad array of factors that include the amount it spent to acquire drilling rights, its drilling and fracking costs, and the amount of oil, gas, and natural gas liquids it can tap.

Encino did not respond to questions sent by DeSmog. “Our assets generate strong cash flow, we have modest debt, and we support our development activities with a robust commodity hedging program,” the company says on its website.

A wellpad in Carroll County, Ohio. Credit: Ted Auch, FracTracker Alliance

Canada’s pension fund praised Encino’s acquisition of Chesapeake Energy’s acreage in Ohio when that deal was announced. “We are pleased to support EAP’s [Encino Acquisition Partners’] acquisition of these highly attractive Utica shale assets, which provides CPPIB with meaningful exposure to a leading North American natural gas play and aligns with the growing focus on energy transition,” said Avik Dey, managing director and head of energy and resources at the CPPIB.

Others saw the deal as carrying a significant degree of risk. Moody’s Investor Services rated debt associated with Encino’s Utica deal at B2. “A B2 rating is deep into junk status and means there’s a very significant chance you’ll end up in default,” Axios explains. Moody’s rated the overall probability of default one notch higher at B1.

For its part, Encino predicts that it can do better in the Utica than Chesapeake Energy could — not just in terms of individual well performance, but also in avoiding the boom-bust cycle for which the oil and gas industry is notorious.

“All of that is part of a longer-term strategy to run this as a normal business that needs to be profitable, less volatile, and therefore better for its shareholders, its employees, and the community,” Encino CEO Hardy Murchison told an Ohio newspaper after a talk at Kent State University in March.

Chief operating officer Walker sounded a similar note at the DUG East conference this June.

“Pretty excited about what we’re seeing, the economics are very favorable,” Walker said at the industry conference. “So, Chesapeake did a great job of setting this up, but we’ve got a lot of running room going forward.”

As Risky Finances Alienate Investors, Fracking Companies Look to Retirement Funds for Cash

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ayearofpike · 6 years ago

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Spooksville #5: The Cold People

Pocket Books, 1996 118 pages, 12 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-55064-0 LOC: CPB Box no. 308 vol. 6 OCLC: 34048131 Released February 1, 1996 (per B&N)

Not long after the freak heat wave, it is weirdly below freezing in July. The Spook Squad isn’t gonna let a chilly day deter them from exploring, though, and neither is finding ice coffins in the woods. But when they thaw out, it turns out the corpses inside aren’t actually dead, and they start turning everyone in Spooksville into ice zombies. There’s only one way to stop them: fire. But how will the kids ever produce enough?

Spoilers: He fuckin’ wrote Monster again. (You thought I was gonna say The Cold One II again, didn’t you?) I mean, the reason for the ice coffins is left unresolved, and the kids acknowledge it, but ... you know what, we’ll get to the rest of it.

One more quick side note: this is the first Spooksville cover that has nothing to do with direct events in the book. We see Cold People dragging humans out of their houses, but from outside and not the perspective of being there when they come ringing. I’m not even sure who this little twerp is supposed to be, because Adam has dark hair and Watch has glasses. So at least they got that right, that neither of them would have been in such a position.

Our intrepid heroes find these mysterious blue ice blocks in the thickest part of the woods, on a day that for some reason is below freezing at I assume 10 am. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m staying inside when it’s cold, because ... well, it’s cold, goddammit. But these kids go out, even Sally, who is a native and probably doesn’t even OWN a jacket. Like, the thing about coastal California is it stays pretty much the same temperature all year, so the locals don’t expect much fluctuation. I have a really hard time imagining a local wanting to brave the cold, but then again, if we’ve learned anything about Sally it’s that she’s not cowed by anything.

But the ice blocks. Watch wants to thaw one out, because science. So they start a campfire, and pretty soon there’s a blue hand and arm exposed. Obviously it couldn’t belong to a live person, right? Except it suddenly grabs Watch, and then the rest of the ice block explodes to reveal a cold blue man with cold blue eyes. Watch is already shivering just from being held, and he yells to his friends to try to attack with fire. But before they can retrieve Watch, the cold blue man carries him off into the forest, faster than they can follow, faster than they thought a person could move.

So now what? If there’s weird shit happening and no way to track down the source, who do you talk to? Yep, the friends go find Bum. He tells them a story of the lost continents of Atlantis and Lemuria, populated by ancient aliens and devastated by war with each other. But as it turns out, one sect of the aliens wanted the Atlanteans wiped out, and persuaded the Lemurians to use extreme prejudice in exchange for eternal life. So the Lemurians put rockets on an asteroid and aimed it at Atlantis, and in return the aliens took some of the leaders and replaced their blood with Cryo, a freezing material that preserves the body and even boosts speed and strength — but at the expense of the soul. You spend the rest of your non-life in your mobile body resenting warm people and preparing to kill them, or at least make them like you. They went to the North Pole to wait out the asteroid fallout, but now it seems these Cryo Creatures have returned.

You can beat them with fire, Bum knows, and there’s no better fire weapon than a flamethrower. Fortunately, the freaky militia man who runs the army surplus store has a couple. While they’re buying them, the Cold People show up and surround the place. Freaky Militia Man goes outside with his guns, and, well, you can’t shoot ice and expect it to do anything. So the good guys barricade themselves inside the store and have to figure out what to do next.

As it happens, there are two hot-air balloons in the back of the store, so three twelve-year-olds and a homeless man haul them up the stairs onto the roof. And right here is where I disconnect from this story. I have spent a LOT of time around hot-air balloons. In fact, I was at the world’s largest balloon rally this weekend. And there’s no way these people can safely and accurately fly balloons around Spooksville the way it’s described. Hell, I don’t think Pike actually did much research into it. Like, it was necessary to the story, so sure, they fly balloons. Please watch for my all-caps incredulity at untrained super pilots.

Sally and Bum set up the two balloons — ONE EACH, BY THEMSELVES — while Adam and Cindy guard the store. Adam happens to see a box of dynamite and carries it upstairs, to load on board just in case it’s useful. While he’s up there, though, four Cold People have pried open the barred door and are getting in. Cindy can’t bring herself to set a human-looking being on fire, so Adam has to ward them off as they race inside. Cindy gets up the stairs, and Adam has a little grappling match with a hand on his ankle, which grips tightly enough to break the skin, before he shoots the fire just right and literally melts the Cold Person’s head. Of course, this little blast of fire catches more in the shop, and remember this is an ammunition warehouse. The four friends are just clear of the roof when the whole thing blows up.

Of course they didn’t get all the Cold People with one shot. Most of them are rampaging around town, going after all those warm assholes. But what else is to be done? Even the witch, Ann Templeton, is stuck inside her castle, with the drawbridge up, shooting flames out the tower window, so she can’t help. And Adam’s ankle is starting to go numb. But they spot Watch in the cemetery, looking lost, and they decide to take the risk and try to save him, even if he’s already been turned. Of course he has, but Bum manages to pin him down with the flamethrower long enough for Sally to whack him over the head with a stick and knock him out. They make it back to the balloon ahead of the other Cold People, despite Adam’s rapidly freezing leg —

but now what? They can’t just float around forever; eventually they’re GONNA RUN OUT OF PROPANE even though Pike never says this. And anyway, the Cold People are going to realize that there’s a whole world of warm humans to turn sooner or later. If only the witch could have helped them! And suddenly Adam remembers one of Sally’s grousing points about Ann Templeton: her lack of care for the environment. Apparently she’s drilled several oil wells on the hill above the reservoir. Adam remembers the underground streams, and realizes that if he can get enough oil flowing through the water that runs under the town, maybe he’ll be able to warm the temperature of all of Spooksville. What good will that do? Well, he expects that the Cold People need cold temperatures to be able to maintain their bodies. After all, they supposedly went to the North Pole during the war, and it was this sudden cold snap that presaged their appearance. If it warms up, hopefully they’ll all melt.

So that’s the plan, officially: crack the lines from the oil wells so crude flows into the town’s water supply, and then set the whole thing on fire. And the hero of the story is slowly turning into one of the bad guys while he plans this. Do you see Monster yet?

The kids land their balloon SQUARE ON THE TOP OF A TRUCK and LIGHT THE BASKET ON FIRE BUT SLOWLY CLIMB OUT BEFORE IT FLIES AWAY. Of course Sally knows how to hotwire a truck, and they drive it up to the reservoir and prepare to flood it with Texas tea. Adam’s leg is totally numb now — and his whole body is slowly getting colder, and he’s slowly starting to resent Sally more and more, and he knows they don’t have much time before he turns on her. But the cold in his veins gives him enough intellect to advise on the best way to blow up the oil tanks without making them explode, just enough to open a hole. Unfortunately, as she’s setting it up, Watch wakes up and goes after her. She doesn’t have enough gas in her flamethrower to get him and the dynamite both, so she blows the lines and runs for it, leaping into the reservoir itself to keep some distance from a newly-turned Cold Person who for some reason doesn’t want to get wet. And this is the moment Adam’s been waiting for, as the oil sinks down and starts flowing through the town ... but Sally’s in the water, and if he lights the oil, she’ll fry.

Cindy and Bum to the rescue! While the other kids stole the truck, they LANDED ON A HARDWARE STORE ROOF and busted in to swipe a fan and a generator. Cindy had to overcome her flamethrower-averseness to save Bum from a random Chilly in the store, but once they were back to the balloon they RIGGED THE FAN SO THEY COULD FLY IN ANY DIRECTION THEY WANTED, NEVER MIND THAT THE WIND IS PUSHING ON THE WHOLE ENVELOPE OF THE BALLOON AND THEY’RE USING A FUCKING HOUSEHOLD FAN. Then they STEERED THE BALLOON TO THE RESERVOIR and SWOOPED DOWN TO THE SURFACE to grab Sally somehow, even though there’s NO WAY Cindy has an arm long enough to REACH DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE GONDOLA TO GRAB ANOTHER ARM STICKING OUT OF THE WATER.

But now Adam can light a stick of dynamite that catches all of the oil and heats up the town. And all the original Cold People melt, and all the new Cold People warm up enough to go back to normal, I guess because the cold wasn’t too invasive yet. But we still have our question: how did they get here? I guess that’s got to be answered another time, because Pike is out of pages.

I can’t get too mad at the Monster rehash here. Like, this is four years later and aimed at a different audience, and the rationale for filling the reservoir with oil is just different enough that I’m willing to let it slide. I’m not mad at the cover, really, either, because there’s not quite a bookstore-safe way to represent kidnapping and zombification and blowing shit up. I’m not even mad that we don’t get to learn what the hell Kalika is going to do when she gets big and realizes her undead dad gave her death powers. I am mad at the impossible hot-air balloon acrobatics, but again, I’ll admit that I’m closer to that than a lot of people. But overall, The Cold People is the first Spooksville that I’ve been ... er ... less than warm on.

#spookstober #spooksville

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amandajoyce118 · 6 years ago

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Cloak and Dagger Episodes 1-4 Easter Eggs and References

Okay, I promised Easter eggs and references for the episodes, so here they are. I pitched a few Cloak and Dagger related articles for Screen Rant, but the show hasn’t been garnering enough attention for the site to cover it. Moral of this story: if you want to see content about shows you like, and you want writers to get paid for covering shows you like, you have to actually read about the shows you like.

Easter eggs will go up after the new episodes on Thursdays nights. And, obviously, spoilers for the episodes follow.

Series Premiere “First Light” and “Suicide Sprints”

The Marvel Flip

The Marvel Flip that plays comic book art at the opening of every MCU project is pretty standard. Most of the same “whoosh,” “Fooom,” and outlines are used in all of them. But there’s usually a change depending on the project. The flip for Cloak and Dagger has Daggers light knives appear for a split second. I’m sure there’s something related to Cloak as well.

Ballet

Ballet was a big part of Tandy’s life as a little girl in the comics too. In fact, her original white leotard costume was inspired by ones worn during rehearsals. I love that it’s still so much a part of her that she wears ballet slippers as a teenager too.

Mom’s Back Problem

Mom’s drug use is not a result of the things that happen to her and Tandy after Dad dies. Her “back problem” is code for her taking lots of pain pills. Tandy’s mom was already in trouble long before they lost their money and security.

On The Bridge

Tandy’s dad on the phone discussing complete structural collapse and energy dispersion with someone we don’t know? That’s, uh, not so subtle foreshadowing of the “oil rig” that explodes moments later. I’d bet money that the structural issues aren’t a result of them drilling for oil though.

Tandy’s dad being the guy warning the higher-ups, and not being listened to, is also a nod to the levees breaking when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the BP rig in the gulf having structural issues that no one ever took care of. The show is shot in New Orleans, and there are a lot of nods to the history throughout the series.

Billy

In the comics, Billy isn’t Ty’s brother. Instead, he’s Ty’s best friend, whom he also witnesses get shot. The effect on Ty is pretty much the same. (He does have a sister in one of the series, but she’s never given a name or anything.)

Roxxon

It’s no coincidence that the truck that runs Tandy and her father off the road belongs to Roxxon. Or that the oil rig belongs to Roxxon, as we find out later. Both Tandy’s father and Ty’s mother work for the company. It’s also pretty evident that whatever was in the truck is what gave Tandy and Ty their abilities as that’s the first manifestation of their powers (right after the shockwave through the water). That’s not how they get them in the comics - instead they’re kidnapped and experimented on. This is better. It would be interesting to see if there’s anyone else in the area that also ended up with abilities. Just saying.

Number 11

Ty’s jersey is #11. That might be a coincidence, but I thought it was cute because, while they were introduced in Spider-Man books and got a four issue mini series after, their first “real” series only lasted 11 issues. After that, they and Doctor Strange were given short stories in a revival of Strange Tales.

St. Sebastian’s

Not a Marvel reference, but I like that the school is named for Saint Sebastian, who had to be killed multiple times because people kept saving him. He supposedly offers protections against plagues and he’s the patron saint of athletes, which fits for a school where basketball is hugely important.

Glowsticks

The club where Tandy finds her rich kid victims? It has glowsticks that look a lot like her light daggers.

Tandy using the knife as a screwdriver later also reminded me that she’s the one with “daggers.”

The Crick-Hits

This band appears on Tandy’s shirt when she goes to the party in the woods and meets Tyrone. They’re an obscure band in Marvel Comics that were meant to be a nod to the Beatles. (I’ll admit that I never would have spotted this if the showrunner hadn’t talked about it in an interview. Apparently, the band will have more nods on the show too.)

Tandy’s Name

There really was a computer named Tandy. In fact, there was a whole company of them. Tandy Corporation started out as a leather company in Texas before diversifying. They owned the now defunct RadioShack.

Tandy the Pickpocket

Her being good with her hands reminds me of the early Skye days on Agents of SHIELD. Skye distracting Mike Peterson with a three card monte of sugar packets while she swipes his ID, anyone?

But really, this moment plays to the role reversal in the show. Tandy picks Ty’s pocket at the party, but in the comics, after they’ve both already run away from home, it’s Ty who thinks about stealing Tandy’s purse when they first cross paths. Ultimately, he decides not to, someone else does, and he ends up getting her purse back for her. The show does a nice twist on their first meeting.

In the comics, Tandy runs away from her privileged life because her mom doesn’t have time for her (among other things) and ends up an addict. Ty runs away from home because the police think he robbed a store, when really, he saw his friend get shot. Ty doesn’t come from a wealthy background in the comics like he does in the show, and it’s a nice change.

The Black Sheet

Ty finds himself teleporting in only a black sheet. Looks kind of like a cloak, no? I mean, I figure this one’s obvious, but I thought it was a nice touch. (Sidenote for those wondering about his powers: in the comics, he actually accesses his power through the Dark Dimension, which is wear Darkforce comes from. We’ve already seen Darkforce AKA Zero Matter in action on Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. The latter, conveniently, was wear a subsidiary of Roxxon tried to experiment with it and opened a doorway to another dimension. Who’s sensing a connection?)

“I’m afraid even if you do everything perfectly, I’m going to lose you.”

Valid concern for a woman with a black teenage son in America. It had to be said.

Tandy And The Hoodie

In case it’s not clear, Tandy is more sentimental than she lets on. Her favorite hoodie is the one Ty took from his brother and rescued her in. She kept it just like she kept her old ballet bag. Aw.

Emma Lahana

In case anyone is wondering, that detective used to be a Power Ranger. She was the Yellow Ranger in Power Rangers: Dino Thunder. You’re welcome.

The detective, who doesn’t get a lot of lines until the next couple episodes, is named Brigid O’Reilly. In the comics, she’s also a cop that initially goes after Cloak and Dagger, but she also becomes a vigilante herself. Her name is Mayhem.

The Tarp

I love that once he teleports with it, Tyrone decides to test to see if he can use it again. It really looks like a cloak when he wraps himself in it. I also like that he tries it again a few times with other black tarps/fabrics. He’s learning.

Father Delgado

The priest that Tyrone spends so much time with also gave Cloak and Dagger a hand in the comics. He gave them a place to stay when they had nowhere else to go. He also defended them when police came looking for him. Father Delgado traditionally has a church in Hell’s Kitchen in the comics and he’s also hosted the New Mutants and Spider-Man. As the story goes on though, he becomes convinced that Cloak s a demon and that he has to save Dagger from him. He also actually becomes possessed by a demon and tries to kill Dagger, soooo… he should be fun.

“The cumberbatch too.”

It’s okay that he didn’t know it was called a cummerbund. It’s funnier because Cumberbatch is the actor playing Doctor Strange. Whom Cloak and Dagger shared issues of Strange Tales with. It’s fitting. And purposeful. The showrunner confirmed it on twitter.

“We fail. You still profit. Ain’t that America?”

Social commentary at its finest. And true. Which is a little depressing.

Pill Bottles and Gravestones

The showrunner said that pill bottles and gravestones might include names that are Easter eggs, but I didn’t get a good look at any of them, so help a girl out if you did!

S1E03 “Stained Glass”

Tyrone Thinks He’s Cursed

In the comics, there were a lot of people who thought he was cursed. As it turned out, there was a demon in the Dark Dimension that he was connected to. It was that demon that actually “fed” on energy and light, and was part of the reason Tyrone loved being around Tandy when using their abilities.

Damballah Voodoo Tours

Voodoo Tours (and other tours involving historic sites) are a real thing in New Orleans. Damballah though is a being that appears in Marvel comics. Sometimes portrayed as a god, sometimes as a demon, Damballah looks like a snake. He’s appeared in a few obscure issues and was banished by Scarlet Witch.

For anyone who wants even more trivia, Gerry Conway is credited with creating Damballah. Conway also created Punisher, Vrellnexians (you know, the roaches in space on Agents of SHIELD), and made the decision to kill off Gwen Stacy.

The Dolls On The Mantle

During the show livetweet, it was mentioned that fans should pay attention to the detail in the dolls on the mantle. All I’ve got is that they all appear in pairs. Tyrone has been added to the mantle, but Tandy hasn’t yet.

“You have to try something else.”

Look, there is sooooo much symbolism going on in their visions, and I think you can dissect them a million different ways to interpret them the way you see fit. Some of my personal favorites though are Tyrone appearing with what looks like old school plantation wear and dining spread in the middle of the bayou in Tandy’s vision, only to repeatedly end up in modern street clothes when he’s targeted by the cops, while Tandy giving up her dagger for him and adding it to the table gives him a new path. I also love that Tyrone’s vision of Tandy shows that she knows that the more she struggles, the more she gets caught in metaphorical quicksand, and it’s not until he uses his own power on her that she attempts to try something else. Tyrone has the pressure of so many people investing in his future. Tandy has the guilt of bringing Liam into her life. Etc. Etc.

They balance each other out, which isn’t a coincidence, of course. But man, their visions are good.

S1E04 “Call/Response”

“He chased your cop away yesterday.”

I’m throwing this line in here because it shows how condensed the timeline for this series is so far. Episode four is the next day from episode three. (Apparently Tandy heals really quickly since the gash on her head is gone.) The first three hours take place relatively quickly as well. Only a few days have passed in the lives of Tandy and Tyrone and yet everything has changed for them.

Their Powers

Okay, so this episode gives you a better idea of what their actual abilities are.

Tandy is the literal embodiment of hope and light. Yeah, she can grab light daggers out of nothing, but her actual power in the comics is the manipulation of Lightforce (oh, hey, the opposite of Tyrone’s Darkforce, right?). With her ability in the comics, she can create daggers from light, but she also stores that energy inside of herself. It builds up over time, and if she doesn’t use it every so often, it discharges on its own and she has no control over it. Her daggers can be used to drain someone’s energy in the comics and also to manipulate their “life force” to a new direction, giving them a glimpse at what their life would be like if they made a different choice. Tandy being able to see people’s hopes when she touches them is the show’s take on that.

Tyrone’s ability to get into people’s nightmares is an example of him being the opposite of Tandy, of course. In the comics, he doesn’t have that ability, but I think it’s a nice touch for the show. Instead, he can channel Darkforce and absorb people’s energy with it. He can become intangible using it, and he can access the Dark Dimension to teleport, of course. Something we haven’t seen on the show yet is that he can also teleport other people through the Dark Dimension, but because it’s so dangerous, Tandy is usually the only one to accompany him. Her Lightforce offers her a measure of protection. Tyrone making the comment that his ability seems to bring him to Tandy is likely a nod to his Darkforce being drawn to her in the comics. The demon that controls the Dark Dimension likes to absorb her Lightforce.

“Character is what you do when no one else is watching.”

I can’t decide if Tandy’s dad was paraphrasing writer C.S. Lewis or UCLA basketball coach John Wooden here, who both said a variation of this. Probably the latter is what the show’s writers were going for since Tyrone plays basketball.

Stashing the Bike

On twitter, the showrunner mentioned that the debris where Tyrone tosses his bike holds some clues, but honestly, I didn’t notice anything that stood out. I figured I’d note it in case anyone else did.

Mardis Gras Indians

This group is the real deal. Essentially a secret society that’s not so secret in New Orleans, the group is made up of Black Americans who partake in the carnival. Their parade during Mardis Gras is one of the biggest. You want to learn more about the history of the group, this is a pretty good start.

“Shit goes boom.”

This made me laugh a little bit because Olivia Holt used to be on a Disney show called Kickin’ It where her character used the phrase “boom goes the dynamite” all the time. The girl likes a good use of the word “boom.”

Founded 1982

This phrase appears on one of the flags in the Red Hawk’s place. When did Cloak and Dagger make their comic book debut? You guessed it, 1982.

Cloak

While it’s sad (and also sweet) that Tyrone picks Billy’s cloak from the room of failures, I love that it looks like his comic book cloak come to life. Where the beadwork is references where most artists use different shading to show changes in light and it’s just perfect.

I also love his dad’s speech about the costumes giving them strength. That’s why superheroes wear what they do.

Tandy Likes Tyrone’s Eyes

I just think it’s cute that she already told him she liked the way his jacket hangs on his shoulders in an earlier episode and now she likes his eyes. She’s not shy. She’s honest. It’s nice. In fact, all of the women in this show are, and it’s a nice change from the usual idea of women on TV that have to be cryptic with the men around them.

Greg’s Death

We see Greg killed by the water delivery person, but the cards for the episode outline shared on twitter say that the “unseen assailant” was going to be his wife. I’m curious if his estranged wife will still play a part in the episodes ahead or not.

Check Your Privilege

Has another Marvel series ever been so timely? Tandy denied action because she’s a woman doing what she has to do to get by. Tyrone targeted by literally everyone because of the color of his skin. Both of them trying to atone for the things they think are their fault, but going about it in very different ways. So. Good.

#cloak and dagger #cloak and dagger easter eggs #cloak and dagger spoilers #cloak and dagger season 1 #mcu #i wrote a thing

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phroyd · 7 years ago

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America, can we talk? Let’s just cut the shit for once and actually talk about what’s going on without blustering and pretending we’re actually doing a good job at adulting as a country right now. We’re not. We’re really screwing this whole society thing up, and we have to do better. We don’t have a choice. People are dying. At this rate, it’s not if your kids, or mine, are involved in a school shooting, it’s when. One of these happens every 60 hours on average in the US. If you think it can’t affect you, you’re wrong. Dead wrong. So let’s talk.

I’ll start. I’m an Army veteran. I like M-4’s, which are, for all practical purposes, an AR-15, just with a few extra features that people almost never use anyway. I’d say at least 70% of my formal weapons training is on that exact rifle, with the other 30% being split between various and sundry machineguns and grenade launchers. My experience is pretty representative of soldiers of my era. Most of us are really good with an M-4, and most of us like it at least reasonably well, because it is an objectively good rifle. I was good with an M-4, really good. I earned the Expert badge every time I went to the range, starting in Basic Training. This isn’t uncommon. I can name dozens of other soldiers/veterans I know personally who can say the exact same thing. This rifle is surprisingly easy to use, completely idiot-proof really, has next to no recoil, comes apart and cleans up like a dream, and is light to carry around. I’m probably more accurate with it than I would be with pretty much any other weapon in existence. I like this rifle a lot. I like marksmanship as a sport. When I was in the military, I enjoyed combining these two things as often as they’d let me.

With all that said, enough is enough. My knee jerk reaction is to consider weapons like the AR-15 no big deal because it is my default setting. It’s where my training lies. It is my normal, because I learned how to fire a rifle IN THE ARMY. You know, while I may only have shot plastic targets on the ranges of Texas, Georgia, and Missouri, that’s not what those weapons were designed for, and those targets weren’t shaped like deer. They were shaped like people. Sometimes we even put little hats on them. You learn to take a gut shot, “center mass”, because it’s a bigger target than the head, and also because if you maim the enemy soldier rather than killing him cleanly, more of his buddies will come out and get him, and you can shoot them, too. He’ll die of those injuries, but it’ll take him a while, giving you the chance to pick off as many of his compadres as you can. That’s how my Drill Sergeant explained it anyway. I’m sure there are many schools of thought on it. The fact is, though, when I went through my marksmanship training in the US Army, I was not learning how to be a competition shooter in the Olympics, or a good hunter. I was being taught how to kill people as efficiently as possible, and that was never a secret.

As an avowed pacifist now, it turns my stomach to even type the above words, but can you refute them? I can’t. Every weapon that a US Army soldier uses has the express purpose of killing human beings. That is what they are made for. The choice rifle for years has been some variant of what civilians are sold as an AR-15. Whether it was an M-4 or an M-16 matters little. The function is the same, and so is the purpose. These are not deer rifles. They are not target rifles. They are people killing rifles. Let’s stop pretending they’re not.

With this in mind, is anybody surprised that nearly every mass shooter in recent US history has used an AR-15 to commit their crime? And why wouldn’t they? High capacity magazine, ease of loading and unloading, almost no recoil, really accurate even without a scope, but numerous scopes available for high precision, great from a distance or up close, easy to carry, and readily available. You can buy one at Wal-Mart, or just about any sports store, and since they’re long guns, I don’t believe you have to be any more than 18 years old with a valid ID. This rifle was made for the modern mass shooter, especially the young one. If he could custom design a weapon to suit his sinister purposes, he couldn’t do a better job than Armalite did with this one already.

This rifle is so deadly and so easy to use that no civilian should be able to get their hands on one. We simply don’t need these things in society at large. I always find it interesting that when I was in the Army, and part of my job was to be incredibly proficient with this exact weapon, I never carried one at any point in garrison other than at the range. Our rifles lived in the arms room, cleaned and oiled, ready for the next range day or deployment. We didn’t carry them around just because we liked them. We didn’t bluster on about barracks defense and our second amendment rights. We tucked our rifles away in the arms room until the next time we needed them, just as it had been done since the Army’s inception. The military police protected us from threats in garrison. They had 9 mm Berettas to carry. They were the only soldiers who carry weapons in garrison. We trusted them to protect us, and they delivered. With notably rare exceptions, this system has worked well. There are fewer shootings on Army posts than in society in general, probably because soldiers are actively discouraged from walking around with rifles, despite being impeccably well trained with them. Perchance, we could have the largely untrained civilian population take a page from that book?

I understand that people want to be able to own guns. That’s ok. We just need to really think about how we’re managing this. Yes, we have to manage it, just as we manage car ownership. People have to get a license to operate a car, and if you operate a car without a license, you’re going to get in trouble for that. We manage all things in society that can pose a danger to other people by their misuse. In addition to cars, we manage drugs, alcohol, exotic animals (there are certain zip codes where you can’t own Serval cats, for example), and fireworks, among other things. We restrict what types of businesses can operate in which zones of the city or county. We have a whole system of permitting for just about any activity a person wants to conduct since those activities could affect others, and we realize, as a society, that we need to try to minimize the risk to other people that comes from the chosen activities of those around them in which they have no say. Gun ownership is the one thing our country collectively refuses to manage, and the result is a lot of dead people.

I can’t drive a Formula One car to work. It would be really cool to be able to do that, and I could probably cut my commute time by a lot. Hey, I’m a good driver, a responsible Formula One owner. You shouldn’t be scared to be on the freeway next to me as I zip around you at 140 MPH, leaving your Mazda in a cloud of dust! Why are you scared? Cars don’t kill people. People kill people. Doesn’t this sound like bullshit? It is bullshit, and everybody knows. Not one person I know would argue non-ironically that Formula One cars on the freeway are a good idea. Yet, these same people will say it’s totally ok to own the firearm equivalent because, in the words of comedian Jim Jeffries, “fuck you, I like guns”.

Yes, yes, I hear you now. We have a second amendment to the constitution, which must be held sacrosanct over all other amendments. Dude. No. The constitution was made to be a malleable document. It’s intentionally vague. We can enact gun control without infringing on the right to bear arms. You can have your deer rifle. You can have your shotgun that you love to shoot clay pigeons with. You can have your target pistol. Get a license. Get a training course. Recertify at a predetermined interval. You do not need a military grade rifle. You don’t. There’s no excuse.

“But we’re supposed to protect against tyranny! I need the same weapons the military would come at me with!” Dude. You know where I can get an Apache helicopter and a Paladin?! Hook a girl up! Seriously, though, do you really think you’d be able to hold off the government with an individual level weapon? Because you wouldn’t. One grenade, and you’re toast. Don’t have these illusions of standing up to the government, and needing military style rifles for that purpose. You’re not going to stand up to the government with this thing. They’d take you out in about half a second.

Let’s be honest. You just want a cool toy, and for the vast majority of people, that’s all an AR-15 is. It’s something fun to take to the range and put some really wicked holes in a piece of paper. Good for you. I know how enjoyable that is. I’m sure for a certain percentage of people, they might not kill anyone driving a Formula One car down the freeway, or owning a Cheetah as a pet, or setting off professional grade fireworks without a permit. Some people are good with this stuff, and some people are lucky, but those cases don’t negate the overall rule. Military style rifles have been the choice du jour in the incidents that have made our country the mass shootings capitol of the world. Formula One cars aren’t good for commuting. Cheetahs are bitey. Professional grade fireworks will probably take your hand off. All but one of these are common sense to the average American. Let’s fix that. Be honest, you don’t need that AR-15. Nobody does. Society needs them gone, no matter how good you may be with yours. Kids are dying, and it’s time to stop fucking around.

Written by a very smart man!

Phroyd

#gunsense

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lawrencedienerthings · 4 years ago

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Chevron buys Noble Energy for $5 billion, causing a stirring in the oil patch

#newyork🎉 🔋 🤝

more news https://northdenvernews.com

NEW YORK — Chevron will take over Noble Energy for $5 billion in the first big deal announced since the coronavirus pandemic shook the energy sector.

Chevron has been shopping for assets since last year and with crude prices down more than 30% this year, it jumped Monday with its all-stock offering for the independent Houston oil and gas driller.

Based on Chevron’s closing price on Friday, Noble Energy shareholders will receive 0.1191 shares of Chevron for each Noble Energy share. But with the list price comes a lot of debt.

Energy companies had been taking on enormous debt even before the pandemic with energy prices have bouncing all over the place. Noble, whic has significant operations in Colorado, is no exception.

Read more energy coverage from The Colorado Sun.

The total enterprise value of the deal is $13 billion, with Chevron assuming Noble’s debt.

Other big players, seeking to cut costs and load up on assets, will likely follow Chevron’s lead, said Gianna Bern, a finance professor at the University of Notre Dame’s Mendoza College of Business.

“This is the first wave of acquisitions,” Bern said.

Last year, as it pursued potential buyout targets, Chevron lost out when Occidental Petroleum made a $38 billion deal for one of them, Anadarko, even though Chevron is five times the size of Occidental.

While Occidental’s valuable holdings in the Permian Basin of west Texas and New Mexico appeared to be a good match, Chevron said at the time that it favored discipline over “winning at any cost.”

It’s found another match in Noble Energy.

The acquisition brings to Chevron low-cost, proven reserves in addition to cash-generating offshore assets in Israel, strengthening the company’s position in the Mediterranean. Noble’s portfolio will also add to Chevron’s U.S. acreage in the Permian Basin and in Colorado’s DJ Basin.

“Noble Energy’s multi-asset, high-quality portfolio will enhance geographic diversity, increase capital flexibility, and improve our ability to generate strong cash flow,” said Chevron Chairman and CEO Michael Wirth. “These assets play to Chevron’s operational strengths, and the transaction underscores our commitment to capital discipline.”

That discipline is mandatory for any company in the energy sector this year.

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On Monday, energy services company Halliburton reported a quarterly loss of about $1.7 billion, and that was better than industry analysts had expected. The 57% plunge in revenue was not.

Energy demand has bounced back as economies reopen globally. U.S. crude prices that fell for first four months of the year are gaining ground, and have been positive since May. It appears prices may remain positive for July, but prices are seesawing and the longest positive streak this month has been two days.

Surging cases of COVID-19 in the U.S., the world’s largest economy, now threaten to hamstring an industry already hit hard by layoffs.

Chesapeake Energy, a shale drilling pioneer that was once one of the largest natural gas producers in the world, filed for bankruptcy protection last month.

Shares in Noble rose 5% Monday, but crude was weak, heading closer to $40 per barrel.

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thisdaynews · 5 years ago

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Biden’s Birmingham speech

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/bidens-birmingham-speech/

Biden’s Birmingham speech

THE PRESIDENT’S WEEK…Monday: THE PRESIDENTwill participate in a ceremony for new ambassadors, and he will participate in presentation of the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Mariano Rivera. He will meet with the crown prince of Bahrain before going to Albuquerque for a political rally.Tuesday: THE PRESIDENTwill raise money in Palo Alto and Beverly Hills.Wednesday: THE PRESIDENTwill raise money in Los Angeles, San Diego and then leave for Washington.Friday: THE PRESIDENTwill host the Australian PM for a state visit.

— MARIANO RIVERAwas a closer for the Yankees, and a legendary one at that. The Nats could use him at this point.

SNEAK PEEK … JOE BIDENis speaking today at the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Ala. From his remarks: “The domestic terrorism of white supremacy has been the antagonist of our highest ideals from before our founding. Lynch mobs – arsonists — bomb makers and lone gunmen. And as we all now realize, this violence does not live in the past.

“The same poisonous ideology that lit the fuse at 16th Streetpulled the trigger in Mother Emanuel, unleashed the anti-Semitic massacre in Pittsburgh and Poway, and saw a white supremacist gun down innocent Latino immigrants in an El Paso parking lot with military-grade weapons declaring it would stop a quote ‘Hispanic invasion of Texas.’ …

“I am sure, in those first hours after the bomb exploded—it was hard to see through the smoke and rubble to a day like today.

“As Dr. King eulogized those girls – perhaps not even he could haveimagined the day nearly 50 years later – when this nation’s first black president would award them the Congressional Gold Medal—one of our highest civilian honors.

“It is only with persistent effort… It is only with fortitude in our actions…It is only with faith in ourselves and the future that may yet be…That change comes— sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once— and progress continues. “

STORY OF THE DAY … NYT’S MAGGIE HABERMAN: “Despite Turning Down Inauguration Gig, Elton John Has a Recurring Role in Trump’s Presidency”:“The email was cordial, warm and deferential.

“‘Thank you so much for the extremely kind invitationto play at your inauguration,’ wrote one of President Trump’s favorite musicians, Sir Elton John. ‘I have given it a lot of thought, and as a British National I don’t feel that it’s appropriate for me to play at the inauguration of an American President. Please accept my apologies.’ …

“But for Mr. Trump, the rejection from Mr. John was probablyparticularly tough to swallow. In multiple books, Mr. Trump had praised Mr. John’s talent and drive. In 2005, Mr. Trump had arranged for Mr. John to perform at his third wedding, to Melania Knauss. Eleven years later, Mr. John sent his carefully-worded email passing on an encore performance, this time at Mr. Trump’s inauguration.

“‘Tiny Dancer,’ one of Mr. John’s most well-known songs,still rings out at the president’s rallies, part of a playlist that Mr. Trump personally selects. The president nicknamed the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, ‘Little Rocket Man,’ a homage to the song by Mr. John and a reference to the strongman’s missile tests. When the secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, went to a meeting with Mr. Kim, he came bearing an Elton John record. And aides say the president has seen the singer’s biopic, ‘Rocketman.’”NYT

TRYING TO PUSH NETANYAHU OVER THE LINE … WAPO: “Trump floats idea of mutual defense pact with Israel, days before close election,”by Anne Gearan and Steve Hendrix: “President Trump said he had discussed a possible new defense pact with Israel during a phone call Saturday with Benjamin Netanyahu, highlighting the Israeli prime minister’s close ties to the Trump administration days before Netanyahu faces a difficult reelection vote.

“Trump did not promise to install a mutual defense pact,nor divulge further details of the conversation. The idea is generally popular in Israel, where the United States is the most important ally and defense partner.

“‘I had a call today with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss the possibilityof moving forward with a Mutual Defense Treaty, between the United States and Israel, that would further anchor the tremendous alliance . . . between our two countries,’ Trump wrote in a pair of tweets Saturday.

“The language of the tweets suggests he is contemplating a formal treaty,which would have to be submitted to the Senate for ratification.”WaPo

— COLOR US A BIT SURPRISED.This is not a terribly strong statement.

Happy Sunday. THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS’ bullpen gave up 10 runs yesterday, and the Nats lost 10-1. The Nats are now 1.5 games ahead of the Chicago Cubs for the first wild card spot.

SPOTTED: Bob Costa having brunch with Guster’s Ryan Miller and his wife, Angela, at Le Diplomate on Saturday.

CONNECTICUT POST: “Pelosi, in CT appearance, says she’s optimistic on background checks,”by Kaitlyn Krasselt: “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is optimistic a series of bipartisan bills, including pay equity and background checks, that have passed in the U.S. House of Representatives but stalled in the Republican-controlled Senate will pass prior to the 2020 election.

“‘The first 10 bills that we advanced when we took control of the House,they all had bipartisan support,’ Pelosi said Saturday in New Haven. ‘It is interesting though, that if they don’t pass those bills, there is a consequence in the election, so we hope that would be a motivator in addition to doing the right thing.’”CT Post

FRONT PAGE OF THE SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS …“Trump’s Bay Area event shrouded in secrecy”

QUITE THE IMAGE … FLORIDA GOV. RON DESANTISon the front page of the Tampa Bay Times, playing golf with a golf tee in his mouth.Front page PDF

CRAIN’S DETROIT: “Grand Hotel considered for 2020 G7 summit,”by Chad Livengood: “President Donald Trump’s administration scoped out Mackinac Island’s Grand Hotel for a possible 2020 G7 summit location before the White House opted to hold the annual gathering of world economic powers at the president’s south Florida golf club and resort, Crain’s has learned.

“A spokeswoman for the Grand Hotel told Crain’s on Fridaythat the famed Mackinac Island hotel and resort was vetted and considered for the G7 meeting. The spokeswoman could not divulge any additional information, other than to say that unnamed federal officials visited Mackinac Island as part of the vetting process.

“The 397-room Grand Hotel, which is in the midst of a historic saleto a Denver-based private equity firm, is believed to be the only Michigan site considered for the Group of Seven meeting of the leaders of the U.S., Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan and the United Kingdom.”Crain’s Detroit

NYT’S SHANE GOLDMACHER: “Planned Parenthood and Fired Former Chief Mired in Escalating Dispute”:“Leana Wen, the recently fired former president of Planned Parenthood, appears headed toward an increasingly contentious exit, after accusing the organization’s leadership of trying to “buy my silence” in a dispute that threatens to prolong and magnify an acrimonious transition at the top of the nation’s best known women’s health care and reproductive rights group.

“Dr. Wen has been engaged in two months of fraught negotiationsover her severance package since she was fired in July. She led Planned Parenthood for less than a year and accused the organization of withholding her health insurance and departure payout as ‘ransom’ to pressure her to sign a confidentiality agreement.

“She made the accusations in a barbed 1,400-word letterto Planned Parenthood’s board of directors this past week, which was obtained by The New York Times. ‘No amount of money can ever buy my integrity and my commitment to the patients I serve,’ Dr. Wen wrote.”NYT

BREAKING … AP/DUBAI: “Iran dismisses US allegation it was behind Saudi oil attacks”:“Iran denied on Sunday it was involved in Yemen rebel drone attacks the previous day that hit the world’s biggest oil processing facility and an oil field in Saudi Arabia, just hours after America’s top diplomat alleged that Tehran was behind the ‘unprecedented attack on the world’s energy supply.’

“The attacks Saturday claimed by Yemen’s Houthi rebels resultedin ‘the temporary suspension of production operations’ at the Abqaiq processing facility and the Khurais oil field, Riyadh said.

“That led to the interruption of an estimated 5.7 millionbarrels in crude supplies, authorities said while pledging the kingdom’s stockpiles would make up the difference. The amount Saudi Arabia is cutting back is equivalent to over 5% of the world’s daily production.

“While markets remained closed Sunday, the attack could shockworld energy prices. They also increased overall tensions in the region amid an escalating crisis between the U.S. and Iran over Tehran’s unraveling nuclear deal with world powers.”AP

— WSJ: “Saudi Oil Attack Is Unlikely to Dent U.S. Economy:If strikes trigger higher energy prices, China and Japan will suffer most, economists warn,” by David Harrison: “While the total impact of the Saturday attacks remains unknown, analysts say the U.S. economy is very different than it was in the 1970s, when surging oil prices tipped the economy into recession. Oil-price shocks no longer pack the same punch, they say.

“Today, energy accounts for about 2.5% of household consumption,down from around 8% in the 1970s, according to Bank of America economists. Since the early 2000s, U.S. energy companies have dramatically ramped up production using new drilling techniques, such as fracking. Oil production doubled between 2008 and 2018, and the U.S. is now the world’s top oil producer, ahead of Saudi Arabia, according to the Energy Information Administration.

“The Saudi oil-field attack adds a new factor to consider for Federal Reserveofficials, who have been weighing how a variety of geopolitical risks will influence the economic outlook, including the U.S.-China trade war, unrest in Hong Kong and Britain’s impending departure from the European Union.”WSJ

NEW …Adapted from NYT’s Robin Pogrebin and Kate Kelly’s new Brett Kavanaugh book:“But while we found Dr. Ford’s allegations credible during a 10-month investigation, Ms. Ramirez’s story could be more fully corroborated. During his Senate testimony, Mr. Kavanaugh said that if the incident Ms. Ramirez described had occurred, it would have been “the talk of campus.” Our reporting suggests that it was.

“At least seven people, including Ms. Ramirez’s mother,heard about the Yale incident long before Mr. Kavanaugh was a federal judge. Two of those people were classmates who learned of it just days after the party occurred, suggesting that it was discussed among students at the time.

“We also uncovered a previously unreported story about Mr. Kavanaughin his freshman year that echoes Ms. Ramirez’s allegation. A classmate, Max Stier, saw Mr. Kavanaugh with his pants down at a different drunken dorm party, where friends pushed his penis into the hand of a female student. Mr. Stier, who runs a nonprofit organization in Washington, notified senators and the F.B.I. about this account, but the F.B.I. did not investigate and Mr. Stier has declined to discuss it publicly. (We corroborated the story with two officials who have communicated with Mr. Stier.)

“Mr. Kavanaugh did not speak to us because we could not agree on termsfor an interview. But he has denied Dr. Ford’s and Ms. Ramirez’s allegations, and declined to answer our questions about Mr. Stier’s account.”NYT

THE PRESIDENT,just before 9 a.m.@realDonaldTrump:“Brett Kavanaugh should start suing people for liable, or the Justice Department should come to his rescue. The lies being told about him are unbelievable. False Accusations without recrimination. When does it stop? They are trying to influence his opinions. Can’t let that happen!”Trump corrected the tweet to say libel.

KANSAS CITY STAR: “Kris Kobach sent names of Nebraska residents to ICE while running for Kansas governor,”by Jason Hancock and Jonathan Shorman: “Kris Kobach was in the middle of running for Kansas governor in December 2017, but he had unfinished business in Nebraska.

“The former Kansas secretary of state helped write an ordinance in 2010for Fremont, Neb., banning landlords from renting homes to immigrants living in the country illegally. Four years later, he successfully defended his handiwork on behalf of the town all the way to the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals.

“His legal victory attracted national attention.Still, enforcing the law had proven difficult because information collected on rental applications wasn’t enough for the federal government to determine whether someone was in the country legally.

“But Kobach wasn’t ready to give up. So in 2017,while still receiving a $10,000-a-year retainer from Fremont, he emailed the acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement with a list of 289 people who had applied for an occupancy license in the eastern Nebraska city, where about 15 percent of its 26,000 residents are Hispanic.”KC Star

FOR MCCARTHY AND THE NRCC …So many Republicans are retiring that it’s front page news when your delegation is NOT retiring.

— POST AND COURIERin South Carolina:“GOP leaders from SC fight on:State’s 5 congressmen to run next year, even as others call it quits”

2020 …

— NYT’S LONG RUN SERIES: “Kamala Harris Was Ready to Brawl From the Beginning:In her first race, she defied her old boss, a fund-raising pledge — and the implication that she owed her career to her ex-boyfriend.,”by Matt Flegenheimer in San Francisco

— MARC CAPUTO: “Biden allies attack Warren’s electability”:“As Elizabeth Warren climbs in the polls, Joe Biden’s Massachusetts allies are warning that her home-state election history suggests she runs weakest among the types of voters Democrats need to win over to capture the White House.

“While Warren won re-election easily in 2018, Biden’s backerspoint to her performance among independent and blue-collar voters as evidence she’ll fail to appeal to similar voters in the Rust Belt — just as Hilary Clinton did in 2016.

“‘The grave concern of many of us Democrats in Massachusettsis that in many of the counties where Sen. Warren underperforms, they are demographically and culturally similar to voters in key swing states,’ said state Rep. John Rogers, who backs Biden. ‘The tangible fear here,’ Rogers said, “is that these Massachusetts counties are bellwethers for states like Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio — key states that Democrats can’t afford to lose in the battle to beat President Trump.’”POLITICO

SUNDAY BEST … PETE BUTTIGIEGtoGEORGE STEPHANAOPOULOSonABC’s “This Week”reacting toDONALD TRUMPsaying the South Bend mayor was up two in Texas: “I mean, you can’t take it that seriously. Other than I’m — I’m very curious to know what pollster let him know that I’m beating him in Texas by two points. That’s news to me, but it’s very good news if it’s true.”

— KELLYANNE CONWAYto Bill Hemmer on“FOX NEWS SUNDAY”on a possible meeting with Iran’s president: “He has never … we never committed to that meeting at the United Nations General Assembly. The president just said he’s looking at it.”

— SEN. CORY BOOKERto Chuck Todd onNBC’s “Meet the Press”about his flagging poll numbers: “The polls have never been predictive this far out. In fact, if you’re polling ahead right now, you should worry because we’ve never in my lifetime and yours had somebody who was polling ahead this far out that went on to the presidency. The people that usually win are younger, dynamic candidates that are considered long shots. Carter, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama.”

— JAKE TAPPERspoke toPETE BUTTIGIEGabout Beto O’Rourke’s calling to confiscate guns onCNN’s “STATE OF THE UNION”.TAPPER: “Do you agree? Did Beto O’Rourke say something that’s playing into the hands of Republicans?”BUTTIGIEG: Yes.

“Look, right now, we have an amazing moment on our hands.We have agreement among the American people for not just universal background checks, but we have a majority in favor of red flag laws, high-capacity magazines, banning the new sale of assault weapons.

“This is a golden moment to finally do something,because we have been arguing about this for as long as I have been alive. When even this president and even Mitch McConnell are at least pretending to be open to reforms, we know that we have a moment on our hands.Let’s make the most of it and get these things done.”

— WYOMING REP. LIZ CHENEYtoCHUCK TODDonSEN. RAND PAUL (R-KY.):“Look, I think if you look back at what, what Senator Paul has said over many, many years, he’s very different from where President Trump is on these issues. President Trump puts America first. Senator Paul, whenever given the opportunity, blames America first.”

— RAND PAULtoJAKE TAPPERon CNN’s “State of the Union”: “I can’t meet a general who can clearly tell me what our national security interest is in Afghanistan. Most of the military, over 60 percent of the military who served in Iraq or Afghanistan now think both of the wars should come to an end.

“So I think the president’s right to do this, but I think we have to callout the Republicans who are preventing him. This is the Bolton-Cheney wing. Dick Cheney to this day still thinks the Iraq War was a good thing. The Iraq War, President Trump has said, was the biggest geopolitical blunder of the last generation. It destabilized the Middle East. It increased the strength of Iran. It tipped the balance towards Iran.

“So there really was nothing good about the Iraq War.And Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, John Bolton, they still don’t get it. They still are advocating for more regime change in the Middle East.”

THE PRESIDENT’S SUNDAY …No public events scheduled

NEW EXCERPT … “’No turning back now’: The inside story of James Comey’s trip to Trump Tower”from Josh Campbell’s“Crossfire Hurricane: Inside Donald Trump’s War on the FBI”

BEYOND THE BELTWAY … BOSTON GLOBE’S VICKY MCGRANEin Springfield, Mass.:“Potential Joe Kennedy vs. Ed Markey face-off at center of Democratic convention”:“Senator Elizabeth Warren on Saturday said she sees nothing to criticize in Representative Joseph P. Kennedy III launching a primary challenge to the candidate she has endorsed, Senator Edward J. Markey.

“Warren told reporters that she stands by her endorsement of Markey,which she made in February. But she declined to offer any words of discouragement for the 38-year-old Kennedy as he mulls a challenge to Markey.

“‘I couldn’t ask for a better partner in the Senate,’ Warren saidof Markey in comments made shortly before she took the stage at the state Democratic Party’s annual convention here. But she called both men friends and offered equally strong praise of Kennedy, noting that she had him and his wife as students at Harvard Law School.”Boston Globe

BONUS GREAT WEEKEND READS,curated by Daniel Lippman (@dlippman):

— “How David Swensen Made Yale Fabulously Rich,”by Drake Bennett, Janet Lorin and Michael McDonald in Bloomberg Businessweek: “He walked away from the stock market, built a network of elite private funds, and created a fortune with no end in sight.”Bloomberg Businessweek

— “What I Wish I’d Known About Sexual Assault in the Military,”by Sandra Sidi in October’s Atlantic: “For women, fending off unwanted male attention is the job that never ends.”The Atlantic

— “The Moral Logic of Humanitarian Intervention,”by The New Yorker’s Dexter Filkins: “Samantha Power made a career arguing for America’s ‘responsibility to protect.’ During her years in the White House, it became clear that benevolent motives can have calamitous results.”New Yorker

— “I Was Caroline Calloway,”by Natalie Beach in The Cut: “Seven years after I met the infamous Instagram star, I’m ready to tell my side of the story.”The Cut(h/t Longreads.com)

— “Notre-Dame’s Toxic Fallout,”by NYT’s Elian Peltier in Paris and James Glanz, Weiyi Cai and Jeremy White in NYC: “Flames engulfed 460 tons of lead when Notre-Dame’s roof and spire burned, scattering dangerous dust onto the streets and parks of Paris.”NYT

— “Malcolm Gladwell Reaches His Tipping Point,”by The Atlantic’s Andy Ferguson: “Among his other talents, he’s one of those ‘professional communicators’ that public-speaking coaches always say we should emulate: First he tells his audience what he’s about to tell them, then he tells them, and then he tells them what he just told them.”The Atlantic(h/t ALDaily.com)

— “Superfans: A Love Story,”by Michael Schulman in The New Yorker: “From ‘Star Wars’ to ‘Game of Thrones,’ fans have more power than ever to push back. But is fandom becoming as toxic as politics?”New Yorker

— “Competitive Oyster Shucking Is Real, Decadent, And China’s Best Party,”by Noelle Mateer in Deadspin: “Do not assume, just because there is champagne and whiskey and maybe, sometimes, drugs, that these shuckers aren’t also thinking long and hard, and often poetically, about their métier.”Deadspin(h/t Longform.org)

— “The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen,”by Tucker Carlson in Esquire in Nov. 2003: “Recently, an eminent, varied, large, and unlikely delegation of Americans, led by the Reverend Al Sharpton, went to Africa to heal a wounded continent. They took the whitest man in America with them.”Esquire

— “Ship of horrors: life and death on the lawless high seas,”by Ian Urbina in The Guardian: “From bullying and sexual assault to squalid living conditions and forced labour, working at sea can be a grim business – and one deep-sea fishing fleet is particularly notorious.”Guardian

— “Confessions of an Islamic State fighter” —1843 Magazine’s Aug./Sept. issue: “Fitim Lladrovci travelled to Syria to fight a holy war. Now back in Kosovo, he continues to call for jihad. Alexander Clapp is granted a rare interview.”1843 Magazine

— Why Can’t California Solve Its Housing Crisis?”by Tessa Stuart in Rolling Stone: “It’s the epicenter of the tech industry and the wealthiest, most progressive state in the union, but homelessness is surging — and no one can agree on how to fix it.”RS(h/t Longform.org)

Send tips to Eli Okun and Garrett Ross at [email protected].

SPOTTED:Pete Buttigieg hosting friends and supporters at Morris American Bar in D.C. before attending the Congressional Black Caucus gala at the Convention Center on Saturday.Pic

SPOTTEDat a party for Kim Wehle’s new book, “How To Read The Constitution And Why,” ($17.99 on Amazon) at the home of Megan Rupp in Chevy Chase, Md.: Rod and Lisa Rosenstein, Rick Wilson, Maya MacGuineas and Will Rabbe.

TRANSITION — Cari Lutkinsis now deputy chief of staff for operations at the U.S. Mission to the United Nations. She was previously director for strategic initiatives at the Overseas Private Investment Corporation and is a Trump White House alum.

WEEKEND WEDDINGS – OBAMA ALUMNI: Alexa KissingertoGareth Rhodes —per NYT’s Vincent M. Mallozi: “New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo officiated. … The couple met at Harvard, from which each received a law degree. The bride, 29, is a judicial clerk for Judge Robert L. Wilkins of the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. She previously served as an aide to Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser to President Obama. … The groom, 31, is special counsel to the superintendent of the New York State Department of Financial Services in New York and Albany. … He previously served as an aide to Governor Cuomo and was a candidate for the Democratic nomination in New York’s 19th Congressional district in 2018.”With a pic,NYT

— “Taylor Barnes, Alexander Logan,”via NYT: “Ms. Barnes, 29, is the constituency operations director and the women’s political director of the [DNC], where she helps manage constituency outreach groups in Washington. … Mr. Lord, 33, is the database manager at the National Guard Association, where he oversees reporting and analytics, membership acquisition and retention strategy in Washington.”With a pic,NYT

— “Katie Rodihan, Heath Hyatt,”via NYT: “Senator Tim Kaine, Democrat of Virginia, officiated …Ms. Rodihan, 27, is the national press secretary for Inslee for America, the presidential campaign of Gov. Jay Inslee, Democrat of Washington, who last month dropped out of the 2020 race. …Mr. Hyatt, 29, is an associate at Perkins Coie, a law firm in Seattle. … [T]heir relationship developed while they were campaigning for Mr. Kaine in Virginia in 2012.”NYT

— Chris Hayden,deputy communications director for Elizabeth Warren’s campaign, andRachel Chaney,a longtime organizer who most recently worked at Democracy Forward, were married last night in Ocean City, N.J.SPOTTED:Ben Ray, Alex Kellner, Adrianne Marsh and Paul Dunn, Rob Flaherty, Carla Frank, Lily Adams, Corey Ciorciari, James Singer, Rachael Hartford, Caitlin Legacki, Cameron Sullivan, Stewart Boss, Suzy Smith, Morgan Finkelstein, Noah Dion and Joe Philbin.Pic

WELCOME TO THE WORLD — Erin Memmott,a partner at Oorbeek Memmott Group, andJustin Memmott,counsel for the Senate Environment & Public Works Committee, welcomed Samuel David to the world.Pic

BIRTHDAYS:Rep. Nanette Diaz Barragán (D-Calif.) is 43 … Ashley Parker, WaPo White House reporter and MSNBC/NBC senior political analyst … Sara Fagan, CEO of Deep Root Analytics … former Bush/Cheney speechwriter John McConnell … Kirsten Kukowski … Christian Pinkston … Chris Lehmann … NPR media correspondent David Folkenflik … Todd Breasseale … Ben Kamisar … “CBS This Morning” producer Adam Aigner-Treworgy … Alana Russo … former Sen. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) is 6-0 … POLITICO’s Kathy Wolfe, Jenn Miller and Hung-Su Nguyen … Alexandra Berg … Eliza Shapiro … Tiffany Haverly, director of public affairs at PhRMA … Sabrina Rush … Sandra Alcalá, House director of member services (hat tip: Jon Haber) … Jon Gossett … Chandler Smith Costello, SEC deputy director for public affairs …

… Ryan Nobles,CNN Washington correspondent … Zara Rahim,head of comms of The Wing … Herb Rothschild is 82 (h/t son Gregg) … Tony Mauro … League of Conservation Voters’ Dawn Cohea … Katie Thompson … David Lloyd … Elizabeth Meyer of Booz Allen Hamilton … Cat Cheney … Don Irvine … Jodi Hanson Bond … Marya Hannun … Amy Sisk … Rebecca McGrath … Hannah Connaghan … Bryan Doyle … Wayne King, deputy COS for Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) … Mal Kline … Kristen Bor … Dave Shott … Bloomberg Opinion’s Max Berley … Veronica Lew … Nathan Hurst … Allyson Alvaré Kranz … CNBC’s Ryan Ruggiero … Theola DeBose … Connie Carter … Neil Makhija … Marie Arana … Phil Zabriskie … Wayne Reynolds … Chip Rodgers … Todd Olsen … Jill Moschak

Anna Palmer @apalmerdc

Jake Sherman @JakeSherman

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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The 5 most impressive offensive linemen at the NFL Combine

Jonah Williams isn’t T-Rex, Garrett Bradbury is on the rise, and remember the name Dalton Risner.

INDIANAPOLIS — Offensive linemen come in all shapes and sizes. Some of those shapes and sizes happen to matter more than others.

One of them is arm length, and nobody was in the spotlight more than Alabama left tackle Jonah Williams. Forget starting 44 games at left or right tackle for Alabama or being an All-American. What Kyler Murray was to height, Williams was to arm length coming into the NFL Scouting Combine.

Williams’ arms came at 33 5/8 inches, a little short of the 34-inch mark some have said is critical for playing left tackle in the NFL. Yet, Williams came prepared to answer his critics.

“I think that’s a small portion of what it takes to be a tackle at the next level,” Williams said of arm length on Thursday. “I think if you look at a lot of the really successful tackles over the past 10 years — Joe Thomas, Joe Staley, Jake Matthews, Jason Peters, La’el Collins, Riley Reiff, Ryan Ramczyk — just a couple guys off the top of my head that have shorter arms than me, I don’t think that’s necessarily a huge deal.”

Then Williams proceeded to throw down a monster dunk just for good measure.

Williams to a reporter: “If your arms were a little longer, you’d be able to reach the keyboard better. But you don’t need that to be a great writer.”

— Dane Brugler (@dpbrugler) February 28, 2019

Williams came into the combine as the draft’s top offensive lineman. He leaves with the same distinction, arm length be damned.

The big draft risers among offensive linemen are both centers

Few offensive linemen have had as good of a week at the combine as North Carolina State center Garrett Bradbury. It’s true, the on-field drills for offensive linemen are overrated. But there’s never anything wrong with putting up good numbers to reaffirm your draft status.

Bradbury broke the five-second mark in the 40-yard dash with a time of 4.92 seconds, getting up to 34 reps on the bench press and displaying a good 31-inch vertical leap. Bradbury was already the draft’s top center and was rising following a good week at the Senior Bowl in January. But how high could he go?

Garrett Bradbury may have just punched a ticket to first round with a sub-5 40 st 306 lbs. I had him at 4.97. Had 34 bench reps yesterday. Plug and play at center for a decade. #NFLCombine pic.twitter.com/YMewjwWjuH

— Gil Brandt (@Gil_Brandt) March 1, 2019

A first-round center wouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Last year two centers — Frank Ragnow to Detroit and Billy Price to Cincinnati — were taken in the first round. The Colts used the 18th pick of the 2016 first round on Ryan Kelly.

Bradbury’s journey is just a little different. He was a high school tight end and only moved to the offensive line at NC State as a sophomore. He didn’t play center until his junior year, but quickly found a home at the position. Now he could hear his name called on the first day of the 2019 NFL Draft.

Another center helping himself plenty in Indianapolis is Texas A&M’s Erik McCoy. It was somewhat of a surprise to see him go pro early as a junior, but he was a graduate and like Bradbury received a Senior Bowl invite. Also like Bradbury, he broke under five seconds in the 40.

Best OL 40 time at #Combine was posted by @AggieFootball center @Erik_McCoy_73. Here is how 4.90 translates onto the field. pic.twitter.com/hXBle2MSfz

— Jim Nagy (@JimNagy_SB) March 1, 2019

There are a few teams to keep in mind for both. The most obvious one is the Carolina Panthers, where Ryan Kalil is retiring after a stellar career. Arizona, Buffalo, and Minnesota could also be looking at players like Bradbury and McCoy early in the draft.

It’s no surprise who had the single most impressive workout

If awards were given out at the combine, the gold for offensive linemen would go to Washington State offensive tackle Andre Dillard. Coming into the combine, everyone knew that Dillard was athletic based on how he played. At Lucas Oil Stadium, he quantified it.

He had the fourth-fastest 40 time for offensive linemen (4.96 seconds) and the fastest 20-yard shuttle (4.4 seconds). He also registered a broad jump of 9’10. That’s the second-best such jump for a lineman since 2006. And he did it all at 6’5 and 315 pounds.

Do these numbers simply confirm what we already know about Dillard? Sort of. He still has work to do in the technical aspects of the game. But that should be expected for someone who didn’t start football until the eighth grade, and admitted his first few years at the sport were pretty rough. He also knows exactly where improvement has to come.

“I’m pretty critical of myself, so one area for improvement is definitely continuing to improve on the run game,’’ Dillard said. “I showcased a bit of that ability at the Senior Bowl, and I just plan to continue that.”

For now, Dillard is considered to be the best pure pass-blocking left tackle in the draft. He was a top-20 pick coming into the week. Now his stock is only going upward.

Remember the name of Dalton Risner

Offensive linemen maybe shouldn’t be charming. Kansas State’s Dalton Risner is charming as hell.

Risner is the classic tale. He grew up in the small Colorado town of Wiggins. They don’t have any stoplights there and just a single gas station. As a football prospect, Risner was completely off the map for college programs.

To get the attention of schools, Risner and his father went from football camp to football camp beginning when he was in eighth grade. Slowly, college coaches started to learn about the vicious blocker. By the time he was almost finished with high school, coaches were well-aware of Risner.

“Not against anyone here, but I don’t think I was necessarily destined to be here,” Risner said on Thursday. “I take a lot of pride in where I come from.”

That’s not the only aw-shucks thing about Risner, a likely NFL right tackle who could get taken in the first 50 picks of the draft. Like many prospects, the media peppered him with questions about the teams he met in Indianapolis. The combine interview process is a whirlwind for players, and it can be hard to remember which teams they’ve met. Risner not only remembered every single one, but he knew the offensive line coach of each team.

Like all those college coaches, the NFL coaches will now start remembering Risner’s name too.

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mmemagpie · 7 years ago

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Flipping Tanks and Planting Flowers

Two things have been forward in my mind this week. Wonder Woman and the Paris Climate Agreement.

I saw a lot of really awesome stuff coming out of the woodwork leading up to Wonder Woman, mostly centering in Austin, Texas. The “apology” from the Alamo Drafthouse is probably the best piece I saw to prepare me for the movie. I went in with thoughts of’ “We will kick ass, and we will take names.” OMG. She flipped a motherfucking tank. I know the heady rush of ripping 200 pounds up off the floor. I felt it when I watched her do it, and it made me feel like I could take on the world.

So I will. By planting flowers.

Not the real kind, deities forbid. No growing green thing should ever be given into my care. I can’t not be an activist these days. Too many things are at stake. For my own mental health, I have to focus on positive things. Among my top priorities are my home. My planet. Flowers grow on it, and I think they’re nice.

I watched, with dismay, as our government’s withdrawal from the Agreement was announced. Shortly after, I watched the support for it swell across the country. A little later I read an article about Sweden running out of trash. Then, my mind wandered down quite a rabbit hole after asking myself: What can I do?

It’s as easy as buying a different brand of facial tissue.

My favorite facial tissue comes in a box with a little plastic insert. That little insert makes me have to do an awful lot of work to recycle it. I have to completely tear the box open to peel the plastic out. If the plastic wasn’t there, then all I’d have to do is pop the ends open. Have you ever gotten a paper cut from tearing the long seam? Ouch. My second favorite doesn’t come with that bit of plastic.

I switched brands. Because I’m a lazy activist.

I made the switch because I saw what one money-saving alteration to a piece of packaging could do in positive global impact. I figured that, since they’re in the business of making money and employing people, I should start by appealing to their wallets. I’m assuming that fewer steps in the manufacturing process would cost them less time and electricity. I’m also assuming that not purchasing all that plastic would save them a boatload. Look what you saved, right there!

It goes even farther than that. That’s a piece of plastic I’m not throwing into a plastic bag in the trash. That gets hauled away to a sorting facility and then a landfill. In exhaust belching trucks. Out in the middle of nowhere, so this trash has a long way to travel. Yay, carbon savings! Oh, and then there’s everything that doesn’t happen because the plastic is no longer required: fewer pollutants and less oil drilling needed to support it. I’m also more likely to recycle that awful little box if I don’t have to work so hard to do it. How about a higher percentage of recycled paper to make the edges naturally more blunt? Oh, hey, you just make your boxes easier to recycle while creating a bigger demand for recycled paper. Which will spur the paper recycling industry to become more efficient to meet that demand. Oops. Is your carbon footprint getting smaller, while your wallet is getting fatter?

Hey, tissue company, all this goodness can be yours if you pander to certain sorts of laziness. Because folk are lazy. We’re comfortable in our ways, and if you want someone to make a change the path must be easy.

Have I tapped into Millennial thinking? I used to laugh, quietly to myself, at hipsters for their mason jars. I’ve been watching you trying new things however silly they may seem to me at the outset. But I watch. And I learn. I tried a couple of mason jars. I now have an embarrassing number of them, and no plastic food storage containers. Because they’re most convenient (read: I’m lazy), and there’s less plastic and trash in my life. One little change. So, yeah. Huge shoutout to Millennials! You keep that shit up. Keep trying stuff and making me laugh. Little changes have big impacts. I’ll be watching you turn this planet-scaled shit sandwich you’ve inherited into compost.

For planting flowers in.

#millennials #wonder woman #paris climate agreement

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thegodthief · 8 years ago

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My hubris caught up with me and I took a nap this afternoon. I dreamt of an oil well rig being set up in the middle of Fuck You County (some back-ass part of Texas) in an area that the First Nations peoples had warned was No Good™.

The first week of drilling was one broken thing after another. If it was a hose, is burst or got clogged. If it was a pipe or a shaft, it broke. If it was electrical, it fried. Every day some poor soul passed out from heat stroke despite all the legitimately best efforts by the foreman to keep his men safe. The second week was double the first week’s costs.

The Suit (read: upper management) didn’t care about the increasing costs of drilling. He bragged that not only was the rig replaceable, but so were the men, and he didn’t care if it cost them their souls to get the well dug, that well better be dug on time because the projected profits would greatly overcompensate for the financial cost of digging it.

“You willing to bet your soul on that, Sir?”

“What?”

“You said you didn’t care if it cost us our souls, Sir. Do you care if it cost yours?”

“If I could get this well dug and pumping on time, I’ll gladly give up my soul, if anyone could actually find the damn thing first! Ha!”

“We’ll get it done, Sir. We’ll get it done.”

“You better, or your blood is gonna lube the next rig!”

The Suit left with orders to resume drilling but the foreman told everyone to go into town for the night. He paid everyone several hundred dollars cash and said he wasn’t going to ask how it was spent as long as everyone was back on site before 6am. Those who knew him well immediately grabbed the youngbloods and raced away from the site in fearful silence.

The foreman went in the operations trailer and came out with his thermos of coffee. He moved to stand alone on the platform and looked up to the hanging shaft above him, then down into the connected drilling shafts standing still under him. He took off the plain gold chain and crucifix he wore in defiance of the safety rules about jewelry and began fingering the delicate links. He sipped his cold coffee and watched the still dry scenery alone.

The sun set, and he remained standing on the platform. His lips barely moved as he muttered well practiced words to himself and no one in particular.

The night embraced the land and the rig. He had a flashlight clipped to his belt but he had not activated it. The only sources of light were the red safety lights on the console reflecting off his dry unfocused eyes.

A stillness rose off the ground shortly after midnight. As if all of physical existence was trying to lie low and not be noticed. Something was near. Something was listening. Something was reaching for the immobile standing man on the drilling platform. The man held out a glinting thing in his hand and took a breath to speak.

“With Christ as my witness, you heard his offer. His soul for the successful completion of the well. If this is not suitable for you, I give you my treasure for the safekeeping of my men. Let the equipment fail, but touch not those who hold faith in me.”

The glinting thing turned. The red safety lights gave the gold crucifix the appearance of being smothered in blood. The foreman opened his hand, and the crucifix and chain fell into the exposed drilling shaft. Even if it had been caught by the lubrication mud and was recoverable, the moment the drilling resumed, it would be torn into pieces and made part of the lubrication driving the invasive steel deeper into the virgin earth.

The old hands returned to the rig at five in the morning. Each one bore an offering of a full thermos of coffee for the unusually drowsy and pale foreman. A youngblood spied a newly healing scar on the foreman’s exposed arm and pointed in preparation for making an inquiry. He was quickly slapped by the veterans and told to stop making up stories before he earned scars of his own to tell.

The drilling began without harm to men or equipment, but the ground under them fought back. For all the crew’s best efforts, the drilling proceeded slower than anticipated. They were not going to make the deadline at this pace.

A few mornings later, the foreman was studying the readings from the previous day’s work. He wondered if what he gave wasn’t going to be enough this time. He had been warned when he learned the skill that eventually he was going to have to start offering pieces of himself instead of just trapping fools with their own words. His nearly faded scar on his arm itched as he reflected on the piece of himself he already gave, but it looked like he would have to give more.

Instead of the usual offering of coffee from his crew, he heard terrible shouts and a few screams. He grabbed his shotgun and shouldered open the door ready to retaliate against the perceived attack.

“You the foreman? Sorry I’m late, man. I was supposed to be here two days ago, but the ground is really fucking hard to get through. No wonder you’re having problems.”

A large, thick, and muscular… man… dressed only in trousers made of sackcloth stood barefeet at the feet of the stairs leading to the operations trailer. The foreman thought this was the most severe case of sunburn he has ever seen in his life, because the barely dressed man was as red as a cooked lobster from the curled stubby horns on his head to the spaded tail idly sweeping behind him.

The foreman blinked.

Horns.

Tail.

Around the red creature’s neck was a very familiar gold chain and crucifix.

“Yea, I’m the foreman. Call me ‘Fuck’, cuz if I hear anyone yelling that, it better because something is really fucked up or I’ll fuck him up. You the Devil?”

“Nice to meet you, Mister Fuck. Naw, I ain’t the Devil. Just a demon. Assigned to your crew for the duration of the drill. I ain’t got a name like you folk have names, so whatever you wanna call me is good with me.”

“Demons start shit. And I ain’t having that. That weren’t the deal.”

“Unbonded demons start shit, Mister Fuck.” The demon fingered the necklace collaring him. “See this? It’s the mark of a covenant. I ain’t here to start any shit with you, or with the men under you. I’m here to help you dig this well and to dig it on time. I take it you’re a couple days behind already, so I’m here to push you back on time and finish the job. And when the rig is done, I leave, and you and those who hold faith in you remain untouched by me and mine. Someone else’s soul is liened for payment.”

The foreman lowered his shotgun and uncocked it in a show of peace. “Well, ain’t that precious. Yea…. that’s your name. LISTEN UP GUYS! THIS HERE IS PRECIOUS, AND HE’S GONNA GIVE US A HAND. YOU ALL HAVE TWO HOURS TO FIGURE OUT WHERE PRECIOUS IS GOING TO BE BEST AT WORKING AND THEN IF YOU ALL DON’T GIVE ME SOME PROGRESS TO TRACK I’M GONNA THROW ALL OF YOU DOWN THE FUCKING WELL! I figure two hours is gonna be enough time for me to figure out if you’re gonna be first or last down the well if I don’t get some payback on my investment, Precious.”

The eight foot tall demon shifted as he absentmindedly flexed in glee. “You’ll get your payback, Mister Fuck! You’ll see!”

“That’s BOSS FUCK to you! And I don’t see you doing anything other than NOT FUCKING WORKING ON MY RIG!”

“Yea, Boss! On it, Boss!” The demon turned around in preparation for crossing over to the platform but the foreman yelled at him to wait a bit.

“CHRIS! DON’T YOU BE FUCKING HIDING FROM ME NOW CHRIS, I NEED YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR ASS YOU CHICKEN SHIT MOTHERFUCKER! IF I AIN’T SCARED YOU AIN’T GOT NO RIGHT TO BE SCARED EITHER! CHRISTOPHER! DON’T MAKE ME SAY YOUR FULL NAME, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I WILL FEED YOU TO THE WELL!”

The veterans of the crew were a superstitious lot, but they were more afraid of the foreman than of any supernatural force, divine or infernal. Chris pulled his head out of his ass himself from his hiding spot and ran to stand beside Precious. “Yes, Boss!”

“Get Precious some boots and gloves that fit.”

“Eh, Boss, I don’t need….”

“Shut up, Precious. You’re on my fucking crew now, may whatever god or devil you fuck with have mercy on you. And ain’t no damn soul, or any saintly ones either, stepping on my rig without non-slip boots and all-grip gloves. Everything else is on you.”

That command was all the crew needed to be able to accept the demon as an equal among them. (Though the youngbloods had to wash the piss out of their overalls before the veterans let them back on the rig.) Though the foreman gave them two hours to see where the demon Precious would fit best, the crew found their new formation in twenty minutes.

Though Precious handles the pipes like any other roughneck, there was something about the demon personally escorting the pipes into the ground that made the entire procedure flow exceedingly well. By noon, they had already made as much progress as the twenty-four hours prior to Precious’ appearance.

In the days that followed, Precious was a surprising cheery presence on the rig. He told stories about the First Nations peoples that were there before and hinted to why they considered the area to be a cursed place to be avoided. “Some things were buried for a reason, and not just to decay, as if it could decay at all.” He learned new expletives that delighted him, and his laughter at a successful prank shook bones and steel frame alike.

The foreman liked him because he could reheat coffee with just a glance, regardless of the container obscuring direct line of sight.

When the Suit came to inspect progress in person, Precious could not be found. So the Suit saw the men struggling to make any headway against the recalcitrant bedrock just as they had struggled before the demon’s appearance. The arrogant manager felt that hard work made for good servants, and nodded his approval at the excessive toil on men and equipment in his presence.

Precious would reappear after the Suit left, scowling and muttering words that decomposed the gloves and boots he was wearing requiring replacements of both. The moment he laid a hand on the pipe, the process would become smooth and easy again. However, Precious’ mood would not return to its regular gay levity until the next day.

Three days before the deadline, the drilling rig struck the target depth. Veteran, youngblood, and demon all exchanged high fives, chest bumps, and ass slaps. The foreman would not report the success until the test pumping rig was installed. If the flow met a certain level of measurement, then and only then, would the rig be considered complete.

Precious assured the foreman that the flow would be constant after the demon left. There was more than enough pressure under the ground to support demand, the demon said calmly before warning the foreman to expect to use reinforced pumps after his departure. “My presence is tempering more than just resistance.”

The well passed the test, and the results were sent back to corporate headquarters for confirmation. Precious removed his gloves and boots in preparation to leave.

“Well, Fuck. Got a question for ya.”

“What, Precious.”

The demon fingered the gold necklace collaring him. “Want it back?”

The witnessing crew held their breath. This was more than just about the necklace, they understood. The foreman swished cold coffee between his teeth than spat it on the ground. “No.”

“It’s yours, isn’t it?”

“It was. I gave it up, free and clear. On the first day we met, Precious, you said that an unbonded demon starts shit, and that necklace is the mark of a covenant that I’m assuming is keeping you bonded and at peace with us. I didn’t remove it then, and I ain’t removing it now. Your assignment with me is completed. Report to your overseer for the next.”

Precious smiled and showed sharp triangular serrated teeth. “You know, Boss Fuck, you ain’t a stupid man. And that’s why we like you. You know how to make, and keep, a deal. I’m off, then. As commanded. Pleasure working with you and your men, Sir.”

The foreman stuck his hand out towards the demon. “Pleasure having you work with us. If you ever get bored of being a demon, you have a spot with us.”

Precious looked at the outstretched hand and slowly took it. He did not answer but shook the mortal man’s hand with an honest grip. He released the foreman, pulling the last hues of the scar off the foreman’s arm as he moved away, and walked away from the rig towards the uninhabited depths of the desolate land.

The next day the Suit appeared with several acolytes sycophants subordinates in tow. The Suit took credit for the success of the rig after revealing the corporation had already written off the rig as a loss and had ordered the crew to be reassigned elsewhere. “But my persistence and dedication to the company inspired these men to complete my vision and achieve the impossible! This is the achievement that has me now in consideration for the board!”

The foreman’s stern glare kept the youngbloods from adding their observations to the Suit’s speech. The veterans just smiled kindly and nodded their last respects to the man who was going to pay for Precious’ assistance. It was said that within the hour after the Suit returned to his air-conditioned office in a downtown tower of some major city, he fell and was dead before he even hit the ground. The only clue to what ailment had struck him was a strange, deeply infected wound on the inside of his forearm. Yet no one could place when or where the wound was incurred.

The crew broke down their drilling rig and moved on to the next assignment. When the foreman went to clean out his coffee thermos, he poured the dregs of a muddy fluid into the sink, followed by a sudden clunk and the sound of a small chain slipping over the metal lip of the thermos.

His gold necklace and crucifix had been returned to him again.

-fin-

#dream #wall of text #yes this will get crossposted to the main.

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preciousmetals0 · 5 years ago

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Oil Be Back … With Fake Pork and Coke

Oil Be Back … With Fake Pork and Coke:

The Reverse Beverly Hillbillies

Have you ever wanted to own your own barrel of oil? You know, just for funsies?

Well, you are in luck! Due to pandemic lockdowns, plunging demand and a lack of storage space — the price of crude oil plummeted to the low, low price of about $1.25 today. Heck, 10-year-old me could’ve bought a few barrels with his pocket change.

On Monday, they were even paying you to take the stuff. Yes, that’s right. Negative oil prices. We can add that to the list of records set by the pandemic market.

“This moment is of course historical and could not better illustrate the price-utopia that the market has been in since March, when the full scale of the oversupply problem started to become evident but the market remained oblivious,” said Louise Dickson, Rystad Energy’s oil market analyst.

But the big problem isn’t oil, per se.

Despite the rising popularity of electric vehicles and the global green energy movement (Woah there! Not you, America!), many planes, trains and automobiles still run on Texas tea. Because of this, demand will recover … eventually.

The problem is where to put millions of barrels of oil while the world rides out the pandemic. We’re literally running out of places to put the stuff.

The main storage hub for West Texas crude in Cushing, Oklahoma, contains about 55 million barrels. It can only hold about 75 million. Furthermore, roughly 45% of the oil currently there has arrived since February.

This lack of storage is forcing prices into the basement, because no one wants to (or can) take delivery — hence, the recent spate of negative oil prices.

No, no … we’ll pay you to take it!

The Takeaway:

So, why don’t we just produce less oil?

It seems like a no-brainer, right?

The problem is that, while oil is literally just lying around in vast underground pools, someone must pull all that oil up and refine it.

For better or worse, that’s not a process that you can just pause and put on hold for a rainy day. There are startup and shutdown costs involved, and thousands of jobs would be lost.

Furthermore, getting oil out of the ground is ungodly expensive.

Companies take out massive loans to fund exploration, drilling, transportation and refining.

Those costs rise the harder it is to get oil out of the ground.

Take U.S. shale oil, for example. According to Banyan Hill’s oil expert, Matt Badiali:

You take nine of the worst shale players: Comstock, Callon, WPX, Pioneer, SM, Noble, Parsley, Hess and Antero. They haven’t been cash flow positive in the last seven years. None of them. AND they owe over $37 billion in long-term debt. Somebody is going to get hung out to dry when they go bankrupt. And there is a real chance that all nine could file this year.

By now, you’re probably asking yourself: “What’s the point of all this? What does it mean for me?”

The bottom line is that there’s more short-term pain coming for the oil sector — especially for U.S. shale companies.

However, once the glut of oil dissipates and an economic recovery eventually sets in, battered and bruised oil companies — the ones left standing — will be amazing investment opportunities.

Until then, it doesn’t hurt to look for alternatives … and guess who already has one lined up and ready to go? Banyan Hill expert Paul Mampilly, that’s who.

Paul Mampilly … in my oil market? It’s … well, it’s very unlikely.

Most of you know Paul from his tech research on 5G, self-driving vehicles and so on. But all that big tech still needs energy to run on — and you can be sure it’s not oil.

Instead, Paul found a new technology that releases “endless energy.” (Great Stuff urges everyone to obey the laws of thermodynamics). It’s not solar or wind, and it operates 24/7 virtually free of charge. Better still, he pinpointed the one tiny company that holds all 100 patents on this technology.

Click here to learn more.

The Good: The Other, Other White Meat

Beyond Meat Inc. (Nasdaq: BYND) is going to Starbucks and … well, beyond.

According to a report on CNBC, Starbucks Corp. (Nasdaq: SBUX) will add Beyond Meat’s meat alternatives to its menu in China. Starbucks has about 31,000 locations globally, with roughly 5,000 or so in China. (All of which are open right now, Luckinly.)

That’s a lot of not-meat.

But the real kicker is Beyond Meat’s alternative pork products. China is home to the world’s largest collection of pork eaters. The country raised some 500 million pigs last year, compared to about 140 million in the U.S.

But African swine flu and the COVID-19 pandemic severely hampered China’s capacity for makin’ bacon. In other words, the Starbucks deal could turn into a massive opportunity for Beyond Meat if it’s faux-pork products catch on with Chinese consumers.

The Bad: The Power of Coke Compels You!

If there’s one thing the Coca-Cola Co. (NYSE: KO) knows, it’s how to market a product. In today’s quarterly earnings report, the company turned the full force of its marketing prowess on investors.

Overall, Coke beat first-quarter earnings expectations by $0.07 per share on revenue that rose 7.2% to $8.6 billion. Not too shabby, but we all know the real news this earnings season is guidance.

Looking ahead, Coke yanked its 2020 guidance faster than a kid running away from a Diet Coke and Mentos grenade. However, CEO James Quincey followed that news with a heavy dose of optimism:

We’ve been through challenging times before as a company, and we believe we’re well positioned to manage through and emerge stronger. The power of the Coca-Cola system is our greatest strength in times of crisis.

The power of the Coca-Cola system compels you! The power of the Coca-Cola system compels you!

The power of the … Woah. Almost got pulled in there. The core of Coke’s message is that the company expects a solid recovery in the second half … like pretty much every other company releasing earnings this quarter.

I’m not gonna lie, Coke’s first-quarter earnings were solid. But I’m going to wait and see how sales hold up during the thick of the pandemic before I share a Coke with anyone right now.

The Ugly: A Cash-Conservation Crisis

As a University of Kentucky fan, I like chanting “Go Big Blue!” just as much as the next Kentuckian. But few things are less deserving of the “Big Blue” moniker than International Business Machines Corp. (NYSE: IBM) — especially after last night’s earnings report. (How’s that for an awkward transition?)

The lone bright spot? Earnings fell nearly 10% to $1.84 per share, beating the consensus estimate. However, for the 28th time in the past 32 quarters, IBM reported a year-over-year drop in sales. Revenue declined 3.35% to $17.57 billion, missing Wall Street’s expectations.

IBM blamed the miss on “cash conservation” due to a “noticeable change in client priorities.” In short, IBM’s clients aren’t buying more software as they deal with more pressing needs.

“We believe that IBM’s comments about cash conservation is perhaps the key takeaway for software investors,” Evercore ISI Analyst Kirk Materne told clients.

If we’re being honest here, comments about cash conservation are probably the key takeaway from more than just the software sector. It’s the theme of this entire earnings season.

We’re only down 15% from the all-time high of Feb. 19…but it seems to me the world is more than 15% screwed up. — Howard Marks, Oaktree Capital founder.

Today’s Quote of the Week comes from a CNBC interview with Howard Marks.

So, remember a couple of weeks ago, when we talked about the stock market not representing the U.S. economy? Yeah, about that…

With the rest of the financial media crowing on and on about the “remarkable recovery this” and “next bull market that,” this week’s return to volatility feels less like disaster and more like facing reality. (How much relief does it take to get to the chewy center of a relief rally? A 1% … a 2%…)

Here’s my point: Is the economy today only 15% weaker than it was back in February?

I don’t need to rattle off more jobs data and corporate uncertainty to you … it’s already everywhere you look. And the fact that we don’t see this economic strain reflected in the market just deepens the gorge between them.

Now, it might not seem so from today’s news, but I’m all for positivity and keeping optimistic — 100% promise! But being “inappropriately positive,” as Marks put it, only sets us up with ludicrous expectations that may be ripped away from you in an instant.

Stick with Great Stuff and Banyan Hill, and you won’t have to worry about having the rug pulled out from under you, the wool pulled over your eyes or the — you get the idea.

Great Stuff: Oils Well That Ends Well

It’s that time again! We’re only two days away from this week’s edition of Reader Feedback. Have you fed the beast yet? What’s stopping you?!

Drop us a line at [email protected]. We love reading each and every one of your questions, comments, concerns, rants, raves, secrets, recipes, gossip — you name it.

Who knows? We might pick out your email to respond to this Thursday!

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Great Stuff on social media. If you can’t get enough meme-y market goodness, follow Great Stuff on Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, be Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

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goldira01 · 5 years ago