#lb hours late yes i know

[liveorganism]

beautiful clown sport

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Girl at the rock show

Characters: Jensen Ackles (xreader). Steve Carlson. Mentions of other bandmates. Made up bffs.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Drinking, Ended abusive/controlling relationship. Let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: You move to Austin, Texas after you caught your controlling ex-boyfriend with another girl. Your best friend drags you out to a live show on your first night there.

Word count: 5.901 words

A/N: I'm kinda nervous about this one. My first Jensen fic. Hope ya'll enjoy it. 💗

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“Come on, We can’t be late?” Mac Yelled from the front door. 

“I'm coming” You yelled back, shoving your I.D. and debit card in your pocket. You took one last look in the mirror above your new dresser. Not too shabby you thought to yourself and walked out your bedroom door. 

Mac let out a whistle as you walked toward her. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down, it's a flannel and some jeans.” 

“Um, a tight pair of jeans that hugs those hot curves and an unbuttoned flannel, yes you have an undershirt on,” she said when you opened your mouth to rebuttal. “But the girls still look nice.” 

“Do we really have to go out my first night here? I just got off a plane 5 hours ago,” you said as she hurried you out the door. 

“Yes. One I have been wanting you to check out this band and they don’t play many live gigs. Two. You need fun right now. And ya know what they say is the best way to get over someone.”

“Mackinley Jane! I’m not interested in finding anyone right now,” you said approaching the opposite side of the Uber backseat as her.

“(y/n) I’m not saying go off and get married. I’m saying a night of fun won’t kill you.” she winked. You both plopped in the back seat. She gave the driver the address of the bar. “It's been 3 months and not to be harsh, but do you really think he’s sitting home alone crying over you right now?” her words stung a little. He was probably with the girl you found him with. Or out finding a new one to control. You still couldn't believe you wasted 5 years on that asshole. 

“You’re right. But I highly doubt my night will end under someone new. “ you said the last part in a mocking tone. 

“Just promise that if someone does catch your eye you will give them a chance.”

“No promises, but I will try.”

“I’ll take it.” It was only an 8-minute drive from the apartment to the bar. It took about 10 minutes with traffic. “ You can just drop us on this side street. Thank you.” Mac said handing the driver some cash. You got out and walked around the car meeting her as she got out. 

“I thought you said this band wasn’t that big. Look at this place.” You said as put your arm in hers walking to the back of the line. 

“Well they aren’t selling out the garden, but one of the lead singers is Jensen Ackles.” You gave her a puzzled look. She put her palm to her forehead. “The guy from supernatural? “ Your face didn't change “Big Sky?” You shook your head “The boys? Tracker?”

“Just got out of a 5-year relationship with a controlling douchebag remember?” 

“You haven’t seen pictures or anything?” She whipped her phone out and started googling, 

“Mac! (y/n)!!” you looked up as you heard the familiar voice yell your name. It was Zoey. Mac’s ex-room-mate. She just bought a house and moved out of the apartment. That's what sparked this whole move to a new city idea. Mac put her phone back in her pocket and hugged Zoey. 

“Damn (y/n) you look good,” Zoey said hugging you. “Is this what happens when you drop 200 lbs of loser?” you chuckled. 

“Have you looked in the mirror, Ms little black dress?” you said hugging her back. 

Mac cleared her throat and did a little hair flip with her blonde curls. “Mac you know you always look good my dear,” Zoey remarked. “I’ll meet you guys in there. I don’t wana ditch.” There was only one guy behind you and he insisted Zoey stay where she was. 

You guys got up to the door and you could hear the music. “How much time do we have before they go on?” Mac asked. 

“About 30 minutes,” Zoey said looking at her watch. 

You made your way into the bar. It was a lot bigger than what it looked from the outside. The was a bar on the wall to the right. A decent-sized stage on the wall to the left and a big dance floor between you and the stage. Straight ahead there was a joined room with pool tables. Mac noticed you looking at the tables. “ I don't think we have enough time for a game right now, but after the show?”

“Sure.” It had been so long since you played you probably sucked at it now. James wouldn’t play with you. He said you cheated so there was no point. 

“Come on let’s start drinking,” Mac said as she grabbed your and Zoey’s hands and headed for the bar. 

“Start?” you heard Zoey say. 

Mac handed the bartender her card and started a tab. She turned to you.” Don’t give me that look, we can split it or you guys can pay me back tomorrow. Bud light bottle?” You nodded. “Of course.” she winked. She handed Zoey her drink then you, your beer. Her eyes had been scanning the room since you walked in. 

“Who are you looking for?” You asked her. 

“ The band has been known to have a drink at the bar before their shows. Just thought we’d get lucky.” You rolled your eyes turning to see if there was a table open. 

“Mac there’s a table open come on.” she grabbed her drink and the girls followed you. You made small talk and gossiped waiting for the show to start. You downed the last of your beer. You must have been nervous or something because you finished way before your friends. “I'm gonna go grab another beer,” you said standing.

“Hurry up. They are about to start.” Mac yelled as you walked away.

You made your way up to the bar and stood there waiting for your turn. The bartenders were slammed. 

You leaned against the bar as you ordered. Waiting on your drink your eyes wandered to the left side of the bar, finding the deepest mossy green eyes you had ever seen looking back at you. He was gorgeous with his shaggy brown hair and trimmed beard. Cut off shirt showing off his muscles and tattoos He gave you a flirty nod and you felt your cheeks get warm. Just then someone walked up beside you.

“Hey there beautiful, can I buy you a drink?” the guy was cute, but you had no interest after seeing green eyes across the bar. 

“No thank you..” you kept it short hoping he would take the hint. You looked over at green eyes. He was watching the two of you curiously. 

“Oh come on sweetheart.” 

“Again no.  I'm not interested.” green eyes could tell you were uncomfortable so he made his way over to you. 

The man couldn't take the hint and put his hand on yours. “ Not interested?”

“Yep, that's what she said. Why don't you get your drink and move along.” his voice was deep and angelic. 

“ I am so sorry!” he grabbed his drink and rushed off. Was he really that scared? It's not like green eyes had threatened his life or anything.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”  He smiled. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach stir up. “So you ready for the show?” 

Yeah. I guess so. To be honest I don’t really know the band. My friend dragged me here tonight.” He raised an eyebrow. “ She thinks they’re really good. Although she's just obsessed with one of the lead singers” You took a drink and told yourself to shut up. 

He flashed a smile and leaned just slightly closer to you. The butterflies got bigger. “She must have good taste.” He chuckled. 

Just then the band members came out on stage. Everyone went crazy. One of the guys walked up to 1 of the 2 mics center stage. “Jensen, gonna need you to come to the stage there buddy.” 

“Missing one of the lead singers already.” He said laughing with the crowd. 

“Yea he's probably in the back with a groupie,” you chuckled. 

“Or flirting with a smoking hot babe.” he laughed louder. “I gotta go, but find me after the show okay?” 

You heard Mac's lecture again in your head. You nodded. He smiled and started walking toward the dance floor. You could definitely have a fun night with him or many fun nights... 

You started walking back to the table you froze in place and your jaw hit the floor as he climbed onto the stage. What. The. Fuck.

Green eyes stood at the open center mic. “Alright, Steve I’m here. How’s everyone doing tonight?” The crowd cheered. They introduced themselves and started playing. 

“Mac, who is that guy?” you pointed at him. 

“Babe, that is Jensen Ackles.”

“Like Thee Jensen ackles?” you asked dumbfounded. 

“Yes, Do you wana to find a closer spot with us?” She said looking at you. “What’s with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” you grabbed your beer and explained what just happened to her on the way. “But I’m sure he was just being nice. He saw how uncomfortable the other guy made me and helped a girl out right.”

They continued playing. And they were good. Like really good. It should not be humanly possible to be that damn good-looking and have a voice like that. But there he was. 

“I don’t know. He said to find him after the show. Why say that if he didn't mean it?” she said not taking he eyes away from the stage. 

You rolled your eyes. “He was just being nice, We can stick around and play some pool, but I am not getting my hopes up.”

“Whatever you say.” she swayed and grabbed you making you sway with her. 

“Plus isn’t he married?” 

“Why do you care you're not getting your hopes up?” She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “But they got a divorce a little over a year ago.” 

“I don’t and I’m not.” She gave you a yeah-right look and started spinning you around. Zoey was being spun around too by a hot guy with tattoos and a fohawk. She did like her bad boys. 

The song ended. “ Man, we are burning through them tonight huh? We only have 4 songs left?” Jensen said to Steve. 

“What are you talking about we aren’t even halfway through.”

“Look.” Jensen pointed to his monitor. Steve stepped closer, tapped it a couple of times, and then they both started laughing. “Whoops I skipped ahead a little bit.”

“A little bit?” Steve asked taking off his guitar. “You good?”

Jensen chuckled. “Yeah. This one’s called Forever Ain’t Long.”

The crowd cheered. Mac put her arm around you and you leaned your head against hers. “Are you having fun?” she asked.  You nodded. “Good!”

“Take me to heaven or wherever you're from…” Jensen and Steve started singing as he looked in your direction. Your heart melted in your chest. Oh crap so much for not getting your hopes up…

They played for a good while. “I think we are going to invite someone back up to the stage,” Jensen said 

“We are?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah look.” Jensen pointed to his monitor again, 

“Haha oh yeah.”

“I'm gonna take a break guys, get a drink, maybe towel off. But I’d love to invite Mr Santana Roos back to the stage and play trumpet for ya’ll.” He walked off the stage.

The band continued playing. Steve had a great voice too. Moments later you felt a hand on the small of your back. You turned with your hand in a fist and saw those piercing green eyes. You dropped your hand and he dropped his. “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you.” You heard two gasps coming from behind you. He chuckled. “Hello, ladies.” He said as he looked at Mac and Zoey. They giggled.

“This is Mack. “ Mack put her hand out as you pointed. Jensen shook it. “And this is Zoey.” She put her hand out and shook his. They giggled again. You rolled your eyes and apologized.

“It’s alright,” he said chuckling. He put his hand out to you “ And your name is?”

“(y/n)” You took his hand in yours, electricity flowing up your arm as you touched his skin. 

“Jensen.”

“Well obviously. And you let me ramble on about not knowing the band.” your hand is still in his. 

He chuckled. “It was cute.” Cute? You thought, The butterflies stirring again. “You wanna get a drink?”

You nodded and you told Mac you’d be right back. He twisted your hand and laced his fingers through yours. The butterflies got bigger. Walking through the crowd everyone was taking pictures and he stopped to snap a selfie with a couple of them, but he never let go of your hand. You guys made your way back to the bar. “Bud light Bottle?”

“Yes, please.” He got your drinks and you two walked over to the side of the bar. 

“You enjoying the show?” he asked then took a drink. 

“Eh, They are ok I guess. “

“Ok you guess?” he said smiling. Then took another drink.

“The trumpet player is kinda hot.” He threw his head back and laughed.  

“I can give you his number if you want.” He winked. 

“No thanks. I got my eye on someone else” you winked back. You could swear his cheeks got pink. 

“I gotta get back up there. You still wanna hang out after?”

“I’ll be around.”

“Looking forward to it.” He took your hand and walked you back up to Mac.

“Giirrrrrl!!!” Mac said after he walked away. 

“Shut up.” You said as you started to sway again with her. The song stopped and Jensen came back out on the stage. 

“Hey Steve, “ He said as he returned to the mic. “ I asked a pretty lady if she was enjoying the show.” your cheeks got hot “ Ya know what she said?”

“Hopefully she said yeah.” Steve chuckled. 

“She said Eh the bands ok I guess.” Steve gave him a come-on look. “I know, What do you say we kick it up a notch and do drowning?” The crowd lost their minds as Steve started playing it. 

Mac looked at you” ok you guess?!”

You opened your mouth to respond, but your attention snapped to Jensen as he started singing. He was looking you dead in the eyes. Everything and Everyone just drifted away. “Let’s keep it going with the sound of someday.” He looked at Steve and then back at you. The crowd screamed even louder. Again you were entranced. 

“Well buddy since you are on a roll,” Steve said as he started playing another song. The crowd cheered again. You felt kind of jealous you didn't know any of the songs. 

“She wants to know the name of the games he plays..” He was looking at you again. 

Mac leaned into your ear. “How’s those hopes doing?”

“He wants the names of the players in the game to change..”

“Not as low as I want them to be.” You confessed. 

“He's young in years but wise in wonderful ways…”

“One night of fun?” She asked raising her eyebrows. 

“Her faith in love is better on sunny days…”

“We’ll see. Now shush” She smiled but stayed silent. 

The audience cheered again once the song ended. 

Steve looked at Jensen smiling. “Are you done showing off now, Jay?”

“Not even close,” Jensen said chuckling. 

They played for a while more, and then they finished up. Everyone started yelling encore. Steve and Jensen came back out. They played an acoustic song together, and then the whole band came back out and played another. The crowd cheered, and eventually, everyone calmed down and started clearing out. 

“So, you going to find him?”Mack asked you

“No. We are gonna play some pool. I told him I’d be around.” you tried to play it cool, but your nerves were going wild. “I’ll go get us a pitcher and you guys go get a table.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Zoey said. The two of them headed for the pool table room. You made your way up to the bar. You ordered a pitcher and asked for some glasses. You held out your bank card to the bartender. “Uh, Mr Ackles said that all of your drinks were on him tonight.” Really?! No way that was happening you thought. 

“Here just charge it to my card. I’ll deal with Mr Ackles later.”

She ran your card and then gave it back to you. “Here ya go,” she said sliding the tray with the pitcher and some glasses on it. 

“Thank you,” you said taking it and she nodded.

You made your way over to the table in the back where Zoey was ranking up the balls. You sat the tray down and started pouring a beer in three glasses. “You guys wanna play cutthroat?”

“Hm.. Or Mac and I vs you,” Zoey said as she finished the rack. 

“How is that far?” you argued handing her a beer. 

“Oh come on we could get a third and you’d still probably win,” Mac said taking the glass you were handing out to her. 

“Fine, but I break.”

You lined up the shot after picking out your cue and chalking the end of it. You sank the 6 and the 15. You around walking over to your next shot. Your heart sank a little when you didn't see Jensen or any of his bandmates around. Not getting my hopes up you thought to yourself. There was a good shot for the 12 ball so you took it. Then you walked around the table not letting yourself look anywhere else you to your next shot. You missed. Mac managed to get 2 of their balls in before missing. You put another 2 balls in. You went to take your next shot when a commotion at the bar ruined your concentration and you missed. 

“Damnit,” you said as you looked out to the bar. Your heart fluttered when you saw him. He was talking to the bartender. She pointed in your direction and he turned. He smiled as his eyes found you.

“Calm down, you're still winning,” Zoey said walking over to the cue ball.  You walked over to the table and took a drink of your beer. 

“Really?” she said as she picked up her glass. 

“What?”

“I see you.” you squinted your eyes at her. Zoey got one ball in but missed the second shot “You're up.”

You took a deep breath and headed back over to the table. You weren't sure if you were gonna be able to focus on the game right now. Somehow you managed to get a ball in. You let yourself look up as you walked around to your next shot. He was still at the bar, the band happily taking selfies with fans. How sweet you thought. You tried to focus on your shot. 

“See I freaking told you !” Mac said as you put another ball in. “ 2 vs 1 and I still can’t beat you!” you laughed. 

You put your last ball in but missed on the 8. Mac passed you on your way to the high top with a smile on her face. She looked at you then behind you. You turned around and Jensen was headed your way with a big grin on his face. You couldn't help but smile back. He was holding a try with 2 pitchers full of beer. Steve was behind him with glasses in his hand. Three other bandmates followed they also had a pitcher and glasses. They walked over to the open pool table beside yours. 

“Hey, sorry it took forever. We had to go over some things and fans. I have a hard time telling them no.” he said as he sat down the pitchers.

You clicked your tongue. “ I guess I'll give you a pass this time, Ackles.” You said smiling. He smiled back and swirled his body in Steve’s direction. 

“This is Steve. Steve this is (y/n)” 

Steve put his hand out and you shook it “ Ah the pretty lady that thinks we’re ok she guesses.” he smiled. You chuckled. 

You felt Mac behind you. “This is Mac “ You turned and they shook hands. “That’s Zoey.” she got a ball in and came around to shake Steve's hand. 

“Cutthroat?” he asked. 

“No, they combined forces to try to take me down,” you explained. 

Zoey missed her shot. “And we are still going to lose.”

You walked over and called your shot. Everyone was watching which made you nervous, but you still got the ball in. 

Zoey walked over to the table and poured herself another beer. “Damn, I hate this game.” She took a drink. “ You guys can have it.” She made her way over to the other bandmates. 

“Wanna play doubles?” Jensen asked taking a drink. 

“2 conditions.” Mac said “ You rack and I get (y/n)”

“Deal.” Jensen got the rack out and started putting balls in. Steve started walking to the shelves where the cues were “ Hey, grab me one please?” Steve nodded. 

“You break,” you said to Mac as she checked out Jensen who was bent over the pool table getting the balls.  

“Only if you break that,” she said raising her eyebrows. 

“Mackinley.” She rolled her eyes and went to the head of the pool table. You walked over to the high-top table and took a drink. 

Steve walked back holding only one stick. “Uh, sorry Jay this was the last one.” Jensen turned to you and stuck his lip out walking over to you. Then stood beside you still looking at you with his lip still out.  

You sighed “I guess I can share.” 

He chuckled. “How nice of you” matching your playful attitude as he nudged your arm. You smiled. “So I take it you're kind of good at this game?” he asked. 

“Eh, I'm alright.” 

“Alright, you boys ready to lose?” Mac said as she leaned over and broke the rack. Everyone laughed. It was a good break, but no balls went in. Jensen gestured for Steve to go.

“That's what happens when you talk shit,” Steve said, lining up his shot and sinking the 6 ball in. 

You turned to sit your beer down and leaned toward Jensen as he took a drink “Well I guess you got small balls, bud.” He choked on his drink. You laughed and turned back around. Steve missed his shot. “Guess I’m up,” you said and walked over to take your shot.

“You good?” Steve asked, picking up his beer. 

“Yep, just heard something I wasn't expecting.” Steve raised his eyebrows and Jensen told him the joke you told. 

“Damn, she’s spunky huh?” Steve said laughing. 

“She’s somethin’.”Jensen smiling at you as you got a ball in. 

You got 3 more balls in. AC/DC You shook me at night long came on the radio overhead. You started tapping your foot and mouthing the words as you took your next shot. You missed. “Damnit.”

“ You done?” Jensen asked as he put his hand out for the cue. You scrunched your nose and poked your tongue out at him then continued singing. He laughed. 

“I’m just getting warmed up, bud,” he laughed and you gave him the stick. You walked back over to the table. Mac and Steve were talking about the first album he and Jensen wrote.

“You wanna sit and take a break after all that?” Steve asked, smiling and pointing at his chair. 

“Ha, No I’m good.” You turned around in time to watch a ball go in. 

“I told you she was good,” Mac said.

You rolled your eyes. “I'm not that good.”

Jensen sank 3 more balls before Missing. 

“But it looks like she might have met her match.” She said winking at you as she passed Jensen. 

He furrowed his brows and tilted his head. He stood next to you so close you could almost feel his arm on yours. 

“Ignore her. Just talkin’ shit like always.” You said loud enough for her to hear making her laugh. 

Mac took her shot and got one ball, but missed the next shot. “Well, she didn't leave me anything to shoot at,” Steve said as he got up and looked around the table for a good shot. 

“That’s kind of the point.” you heard Mac say as she and Steve started bantering. He lined up for a jump shot. 

“Ohhh, Steve’s getting fancy.” You said in a silly tone causing him and Jensen to laugh.  

“So, she likes AC/DC, Bud Light, and she’s a pool shark who thinks radio company is Eh, ok.” Jensen said shrugging his shoulders which put a grin on your face “And hates supernatural.”

You put a finger up “ I never said that I hated it, I've just never watched it..”

“Explain to me.” He said He put his chin in between his thumb and index finger. Turning his head to look at you. “How do you have a best friend that's obsessed with the show yet you’ve never seen it?” 

“Well, There was a.. a complication,” He stopped with the playfulness and looked in your eyes. “ but it’s gone now. Plus I did just move to Texas. We talked all the time. Living in different states didn't take a huge toll on our friendship, but we didn't talk about TV or media much.” Steve missed his shot. “And this is where it ends, bud.” You reached for the cue he was holding. 

“Oh really?” He said putting the stick in his other hand. It was on the opposite side of you now.  “Why don’t we  make it a little more interesting then?”

“Ha, you got 5 grand on ya there pretty boy?” He let out a belly laugh and you swirled in front of him reaching for the stick. He extended his arm and leaned into your ear. 

“Actually, “ he whispered and your heart stopped as you felt his warm breath tickle your ear. “ I was thinking if we win I could get your number.” 

You don’t know where you found the courage maybe it was the four and a half beers you had. But you turned and whispered back in his ear. “And if we win?” 

You heard the small chuckle as his breath tickled again. “I’ll give you mine.” He stood back up smirking. You rolled your eyes and smiled at him. 

“Bet.” You stuck your hand out. He took it in his and shook it slowly, a smirk still on his face. He handed the stick you to. You took it and spun around. Focus on the game, Focus on the game you thought.  

“Wanna tell me what that was all about?” Mac asked quickly as she walked past you. You looked past her to Jensen. He had his back turned pouring another beer. Later you mouthed. She went to sit in the open chair at the high top. Chiming in on Steve and Jensen’s conversation. 

You sank the last 2 balls you and Mac had on the table. You didn't leave yourself a good shot for the 8 ball. There were 2 options. You weighted them for a couple of seconds. You went with one and called it. You stupidly looked up at Jensen who licked his lips and bit the bottom one. Your whole body went numb and you missed your shot. You put your forehead on your arm still leaning on the table and looked at the floor. 

“Took much beer there darlin’, “ Jensen asked approaching you. 

You raised your head squinting your eyes at him. “You know what you did!”

He gave a smirk. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”

You stood up and handed him the cue. “Cheater. You said and walked away. You heard him laugh, but you didn't look back. Two can play at that game Mr. Ackles you thought. You made your way back over to the high-top table and took a drink when you got there. Steve and Mac still sitting there, talking about the second album he and Jensen wrote. You nodded here and there, trying to listen for balls to go in. They were so enthralled in the conversation they didn't notice you inching a coaster toward the edge of the table. There’s one you said in your head. A minute later there’s the second. You knew he’d be going to the 8-ball now. You nudge the coaster off the table with your pinky. As you bent over to pick it up you hoped he’d be looking. You picked the coaster up and brought your top half back up slower than usage, but not too obvious. 

“Really Jay? How’d You miss that?” Steve stood up “ I’ll be right back. I got a song stuck in my head.” He headed for the jukebox. Jensen rolled his eyes and sighed walking up to the high top. 

“What?” Mac asked. 

“You wanna guess the song he’s gonna play? He does this to me every time we go out somewhere.” Mac giggled. And you stood there clueless. He turned to you. “ Well hi there kettle you’re black. Calling me a cheater.”

You gave him the same smirk he gave you earlier.” I don't know what you're talking about.” He smiled. Just then Carrying On My Wayward Son started playing. And you started singing it.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me right now?!” Jensens said looking at Mac gesturing to you with his hand. 

“What it’s a good song….” you said confused. 

“Please tell me ya’ll are fucking with me,”

“Sadly Jay we are not. She just likes the song.” Mac said as she got up to go take her shot. 

You started singing again and Jensen looked at you with bewilderment, “Can I help you?”

“This is the theme song of Supernatural” He shook his hands. 

You couldn’t help, but laugh. “ Ohh. It’s a good song.” He put his hand on his face and shook his head. You laughed again. 

Steve made his way back over. “Thanks, man,” Jensen said nodding at him.

“Yeah. No problem man.” Steve said grinning. 

Jensen turned back to “So back to the topic of Supernatural. It came on in 2005, Not to sound like an ass, but do you just not watch t.v or Netflix?

“2005? I was  Pre-Med. Not a lot of time for T.V.” you said and turned around to watch Mac miss the 8-ball shot. You closed your eyes. Game over, you knew Steve would probably make the last shot. 

“You’re a doctor?!” Jensen’s voice raised some.

“No.” you took another drink. He put his hands out palms up waiting for an explanation. “It’s a long story,” you said. He raised his eyebrows once and lowered his hands. Steve called the shot and made it. You turned back to the high top and started cleaning. Both pitchers were empty. “Wasn’t there 3 pitchers?”

“I gave the third one to the guys, I didn't know you ladies already got one.” He started to help you. 

You grabbed the empty pitchers and started walking. He followed you with the empty glasses. You guys handed the bartender the dishes. “Thanks, guys, Last Call?” she said taking them. Jensen looked at you.

“Come on, One more.” You looked over to Mac and Zoey who had made their way back to the pool room. Zoey was introducing the other bandmates to Mac. 

You sat on the stool in front of you. “ Ok Ackles, one more.” He nodded at the bartender and she got out 2 Bud Light bottles opened them and sat them in front of him. He handed you one and raised his for a cheers. You clinked the bottles and you both took a drink.

He sat down next to you and swirled in the chair to face you. 

“So This doctor story. Too long to share over a beer?”

“ Kind of “ Tonight was so fun, you didn't want to talk about all the depressing stuff. And that story was full of it. He nodded  “So Tell me about it over lunch tomorrow?”

Your cheeks got warm again. Just then Mac And Zoey Approached you guys. “Hey babes, we are gonna get one more with the band, k?” 

“Actually this groupie here is taking me on a tour of Austin tomorrow,” you said. 

“Oh did I not tell you? I can’t make it tomorrow. I’m sorry.” she winked at you and walked away. 

“Well apparently I’m free tomorrow,” you said raising your eyebrows and taking a drink. 

“Not anymore. Lunch? I can show you around after if you want.” 

“Eh, I guess.” you smiled. “I got nothing better do to.”

He laughed. “Do you always talk this much shit?” 

“Yep.” He chuckled again and took a drink. “So tell me about this Supernatural. Is it really worth all the hype?”

He smiled. “Why yes, yes it is. It’s about these two brothers.” He talked in a movie phone voice. 

You put your hand on his arm and laughed. “Trust me I’ve got the back of the DVD box description and more numerous times.” He laughed. 

“I don’t know how to answer that. Of course, I’m going to say it’s a great show, but I played Dean for 15 years. I have a love for his story that words can’t explain. He is part of me. I think you should at least give it a shot. It would definitely make Mac and Zoey super happy.”

You realized your hand was still on his arm and your cheeks turned pink as you drew it away leaning back. He must have noticed because he smirked and finished his beer. “ I might.”  you swished your beer only a drink or two left. 

The bartender came over the p.a. System announcing they were closing up in 5 minutes. You turned back to check on the girls. Everyone was getting up some more graceful than others. “Hey, I almost forgot. We made a bet.” He said as he stood up and slid his phone out of his pocket. He got it to the add new contact screen and handed it to you. You stood up and took it. 

“A bet is a bet,”  you said as you put your info in. 

Mac and Zoey passed you. “Uber’s outside (y/n) unless…”

You gave her a hard look. “I’m comin’”

“I’ll walk out with you.”

You guys made it outside and found your Uber. You pointed. He walked beside you so close your hands touched a couple times. You stopped when you got to the car and turned to him. He put his hand out “It was nice meeting you (y/n)”

“You too Jensen.” you took his hand. Stepping on your tip toes you leaned and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled the biggest smile of the night. You got in the car. He walked over and put his hand on the door. 

“Good night Mr Ackles. “ you said as you winked at him.

He shook his head and still smiling. “Good night Darlin.” He closed the door. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Part 2

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[generalluxun]

Half-Baked, An ML fanfiction.

So this comes out of my 'Chloe goes back in time' AU. set after she's stolen the black cat Miraculous, but before the repercussions of that have really gone full swing.

This AU came about mostly from asks, so the tag can be searched on my blog for getting up to date on our collective ramblings for it.

Super short Summary: Post S5 Chloe goes back in time into her Origins-timeframe body. She is angry at everyone and everything. She gets herself akumatized early on and steals the Cat Miraculous from Cat Noir(who wasn't taking things seriously, it's S1) Seeing it's Adrien she freaks, breaks akumatization and runs off before Ladybug arrives. Adrien is keeping who stole it a secret(though he tells LB he lost it) hoping he can get it back himself to make up for losing it.

Fic is under the cut because it is 4172 words. I'll also be posting it on AO3 tomorrow.

With the smell of fresh baked goodies taunting her nostrils, Marinette dodged between racks laden with hot trays and mixing bowls of fresh dough. She was already late for school, but seeing her parents frantically running around made her pause.

“Dad?”

Tom flashed her a big smile but immediately turned and fled into the back. Her mother turned from where she was scooping still-warm pastries off cooling trays and into boxes too soon. “Honey, your father and I are very busy today. A large catering order came in unexpectedly. It was extremely short notice, but you know your father.”

Marinette couldn’t help but puff up a little, “It’s the Egyptian opening at the Lourve, right?”

Sabine paused. “Why, yes honey. How did you-”

Marinette gushed, “I knew dad was bummed about missing out on it, so yesterday I took a few freshly baked pastries over to the museum before school. I managed to find a way back to the curator’s offices and wouldn’t leave until he tried one. You should have seen the look on his face! ‘Young lady I think that is the best confection I have ever tasted.’ It looks like it was worth being an hour late.”

Marinette froze mid-pantomime. Her story had run away with her again, perhaps to a few places her mother didn’t exactly need to know.

Whatever Sabine’s thoughts, she kept a gently serene face. “That’s… very clever dear. Only… perhaps you could ask before helping next time? This really is such short notice.”

Marinette winced. “Is it really? I could help! I can just call in sick, then I would be able to-”

Rushing back towards the kitchen, Marinette snagged her foot on one of the giant mixing bowls. She tripped and collapsed into it as it spun, coming to rest blinking up into her mother’s even more concerned looking face. Sabine reached down and helped Marinette extract herself, brushing some wayward flour dust off her backside.

“No, no, that’s quite alright, dear. Your father and I will handle it. It’s not as if sleep is necessary every night. On your way now. You don’t want to be late, again.”

That last word carried the only hint of maternal reprimand, but it was enough. Marinette let herself be ushered out the door. On the way to school she managed to convince herself everything would be okay. It would be fine. It wasn’t the end of the-

The Agreste Limo pulled up in front of the steps to the school, and ‘end of the world' took on new meaning. Adrien got out, but his walk up the steps had none of its usual spring. Even knowing the truth, it was hard for Marinette to overlap the image of him with Cat Noir. Hard, and maybe a moot point.

Marinette shook herself. No. Not a moot point. We will get the ring back. I will get it back. Anyone can make a mistake. She hop-stepped to catch up with Adrien and gave him her biggest smile, “Morning, Adrien!”

He might not know it, but he’d helped her become Ladybug. Now it was up to her to return the favor.

------------------------------------------------

Time was not on Marinette’s side though. Not even half the day had gone by when the school shook as if in an earthquake. Sirens sounded in the distance. Alya had her phone open to a news cast before anyone else even had theirs out.

“-eaking News. A giant man…monster…thing… has once again been sighted in downtown Paris. Police are on their way, but as we approach the presumed akuma I have to wonder, what can they hope to do? Will Ladybug and Cat Noir show up once again to save our fair city?”

Nadja’s voice rose clearly from the tiny screen. Marinette couldn’t make out the akuma clearly as the helicopter circled though. All at once the helicopter lurched.

Nadja turned to ask someone off screen, “What’s that smell?”

The camera jostled, the helicopter lurched again, and the image went dark.

Marinette jumped up, “We have to do something!”

“Do something?” Kim blurted out from the back before anyone else. “Ivan got turned into a giant monster and almost turned half the class into crepes! What are you gonna do? …No offense big guy.”

Marinette heard Ivan mumble something even as she watched Adrien’s shoulders slump in front of her. She had to think fast. “What am I gonna do? I’m gonna go to the bathroom! Can’t think on a full bladder, right? Haha. Ms. Bustier can I go please?”

Another rumble shook the entire classroom.

Nino scrambled to his feet, “It sounds like there won’t be a bathroom to go to pretty soon.”

Ms Bustier raised her voice clearly but gently, “Alright class, everyone out. We rendezvous at the park. Stay with your seatmates.”

Sorry Alya. Marinette bolted for the door.

It wasn’t until she set eyes on the akuma that Ladybug’s forebrain took control back from her reflexes. Fear grabbed ahold of her and queasiness dropped her on unsteady legs on the nearest rooftop. The akuma was huge, topping even stoneheart. It was visible head and shoulders above the rowhouses. The only saving grace was a strange familiarity. It was dressed like a baker, complete with toque on its head and giant wooden peel in its hands.

The combination of silliness and fear forced a nervous giggle from her lips. The giggle reminded her that she was alone this time, her partner couldn’t help her. That sealed her lips once more with fear. It’s all up to me, alone.

Doomsday scenarios pressed into her thoughts even as the akuma strode on in the distance. What’s its power? Why is it here? What is the item? Where is it go-

Ladybug’s brain did the math and drew the line from the akuma right through the school towards… Our bakery!

She was in motion instantly, vaulting two streets closer. She was crouched for another leap when her senses shoved another fact through her emotions. Screams.

Screams weren’t surprising, but the tone was wrong. The akuma swung its peel and something scattered below it. If only for a cat’s sight. Screams of fear turned to joy then fell silent.

Ladybug balked again. She had to think. Emotion wanted her to act, but she couldn’t afford to be wrong. How close could she get? The akuma moved on and she followed from a distance, trying to pick up any clues she could. How close is too close? The akuma plowed through a building in its way. More screams of fear, a swing of its peel and fear turned to joy then silence again.

She needed to get closer. But-

Ladybug was stuck.

----------------------------------------------------------

“Go away!” Chloé stalked across the square, away from the class.

Sabrina trotted after her. “But, Chloé… we’re seatmates! We’re supposed to stick together.”

Chloé spun around and screamed, “Stick together? Is that what you call it? You sure didn’t stick with me when I needed it! Save me the trouble and go play with your new friends right now. Go!”

She jabbed a finger over Sabrina’s shoulder, but didn’t wait to see the results of her outburst. Her stomach felt hollow and sick. Her fingers tingled and her eyes itched. She wanted to scream until she ran out of air, but that hadn’t done any good before.  So instead she was getting away from the others as fast as she could. Chloé jogged across the street from the park and was around a corner in seconds. Sabrina didn’t call after her again.

For some stupid reason that made the sickness in her stomach worse.

Chloé stalked blindly, immune to the cracking of masonry and the heavy tread that threatened to knock her off her feet. Out of her tunnel vision a single figure resolved in the distance. Red, spotted, standing still on a rooftop. Ladybug.

She was just…standing there. The crunch of another building rang out but the hero didn’t move. “DO SOMETHING!” Chloé howled at her, unheard.

She hated Ladybug. Ladybug was lame. Ladybug was a loser. Ladybug was a failure. Ladybug was a traitor. Ladybug… was a hero. Ladybug was supposed to be saving the day. The thoughts rattled around and fought until Chloé squeezed her eyes shut and dug her nails into her hair in frustration.

With a sudden clarity Chloé’s eyes snapped open again. She whipped a hand around in front of her. “You! Come out now!”

The black cat kwami sparked into existence, anger evident on his tiny features.

“Tell me how to transform!” she demanded.

He crossed his arms smugly and replied, “hmmm Mm mffm Hmm.”

Chloé growled, “Talk! You can talk! Tell me!”

The Kwami gasped but still grinned, “That’s the one thing you can’t order me to do, Miraculous or no.”

“Rrraaaaaggh!” Chloé pointed at the distant Ladybug, “She’s not doing anything. Tell me the password or we’re doomed!”

Plagg crossed his little arms, “Give me back to my rightful holder, and she’ll have a partner again.”

Chloé stomped her foot, “No! I can do this! I know what to do better than any of them do right now! I’m the hero!”

Pagg seemed unimpressed. He rolled his eyes,”You? Nobody would make you a hero. What would you even do with a miraculous?”

Chloé's world narrowed again,to a haze of red with a floating black blob in the center. She advanced on him, “I’ll cataclysm the stupid  akuma. I’ll cataclysm stupid Hawkmoth. I’ll cataclysm everyone and everything that gets in my way. No one will take you away and nothing will stop me this time.”

She was seething. Memories of disappointment, failure, and humiliation broke down into the core emotions and blended into a hateful spiral. She waited for the next barb to come, but instead Plagg’s green eyes turned towards her with a spark of devilish curiosity in them.

“Really?” he drew the word out, “That just might be interesting to see.” One fingerless hand thrust at her face. “Don’t think I’m out of tricks though. You just watch yourself.  It’s ‘Plagg, Claws out.’”

Emotion spoke before thought could form, “Plagg, Claws out!”

----------------------------------------------------------

The akuma waded through the remains of the school and Ladybug knew she had to act. The bakery was at hand, and though she couldn’t see from back here, she could just imagine her father standing out front with a rolling pin. She still didn’t have a plan. She hadn’t risked getting close enough to get a good look. It had seemed prudent, but a nagging voice whispered she might just be too scared on her own. Had Cat No- Adrien been brave enough for both of them?

She tensed for a leap, but a sound like a thunderbolt stopped her. A black blur streaked at the akuma. It struck clean, staggering the giant, and clung before scuttling across the akuma’s bulk.

Ladybug was airborne before she had time to doubt. The blur had resolved into a person, a cat person. Her foolish heart leapt for a moment at the impossible idea her partner might have returned. No- it wasn't him. This person darted and leapt from point to point, tearing at the akuma. Buttons, hat, pockets were all ripped and torn. The akuma reeled and swatted at the attacker. One meaty hand connected and sent the black-clad fighter into the pavement in an impressive crater. Ladybug didn’t even have time to gasp before the fighter leapt from the cracked road and was back in the fight.

Ladybug landed, still one block away. In part she was still gathering information, in part she wasn’t sure how to engage with that black buzzsaw in motion. She had time now, her partn-

The other fighter was buying her time.

Ladybug was still trying to understand the ferocity of the assault. The -Ladybug mentally decided on cat hero just to organize her thoughts- was fended off time and again, taking blows that had to hurt. They were -she was- was relentless though, rebounding from being knocked clean through nearby buildings.The akuma’s apron fluttered to the ground like a torn parachute.

It clicked, akumatized object!, just as the akuma found space to swing its bakery peel. This time Ladybug could discern pastries showering down from the end of it. The cat hero was crouched for another leap but instead raised her head and sniffed the air. She reoriented herself and pounced… the confections.

Ladybug had her info. She raised her yo-yo, “Lucky Charm!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The smell was irresistible. Chloé dove at the showering pastries, and she wasn’t the only one. Civilians swarmed out from everywhere, her classmates among them. Each and every one scrambled for the treats. There was no stopping it. Chloé bit down on a tart even as she scooped up half a dozen croissants. That she was aware of the compulsion made it worse. She growled around oozing jam and ground her teeth on buttery crust.

The too familiar feeling of helplessness was poison in her veins. Control, she needed to have some kind of control. She couldn’t stop so she pushed in the other direction. She crammed her mouth full until her jaw ached and she could barely breathe. It worked! She had a muffin in each hand but she could move freely again.

She launched herself at the akuma again.

A patch, no. A giant thermometer, no. She broke and broke. The muffins were goo, smashed against her palms. She couldn’t breathe but she wouldn’t stop.

Wouldn’t. Did. She bent double while crouching for another jump. Trying to inhale had dragged a chunk of her food-muzzle into her throat. She choked, coughed, heaved, choked again, and gasped for air. Her stomach twisted around the magical treats she’d already swallowed and dropped her to her knees.

Ziiiiip *thwip*

She was wrapped in a too-familiar away, airborne, grabbed, thumped on the back. She was spun again, free, something was shoved up her nose. Her overstimulated senses finally managed to focus. Her vision focused. Ladybug stood before her, with a tissue box in hand and polkadot tissues up each nostril.

Chloé hissed, “What do you think you're doing?”

“Saving you!” Ladybug grabbed her arm, “What do you think you are doing?”

Chloé pulled free and snarled, “He’s got an akumatized item on him somewhere, I’ll find it.”

Ladybug reached for her, “Do you have any idea what it is?”

Chloé recoiled and scanned. The akuma had turned away from them. It looked over the Dupain-Cheng bakery of all things. A petty part of her wanted to let it smash the place. That part of her became one more thing to be angry at.

She bared her teeth over her shoulder. “No, but I’m not the kind of hero who stands around doing nothing.”

She vaulted away with a protest lost in her wake. She landed and jumped again, elation mixing with rage. Her claws scored the doughy skin on the back of the akuma’s neck, checking the downward bakery-dooming swing of his peel. He swung it at her instead, showering her with sugary bait that no longer had any power over her. Her mouth was open, panting as a part of her breathing. What next? She picked a target and broke it. Then another, and another.

“The peel! Destroy the peel!” Ladybug’s voice rang in her ears.

Ladybug was a loser and probably wrong, but that wooden peel sure was big and this sure would be fun… “Cataclysm!”

She met the akuma’s swing with an outstretched hand. A grove’s worth of wood turned to powder at her touch. The butterfly flew free.

*Thwip* -snap- Ladybug caught and purified it. The akuma shrank to a befuddled looking baker. Chloé stood victorious in the center of a wasteland of violence and destruction.

Elation beat out anger, for just a moment. She threw her head back, spread her arms and, “Raaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!”

-------------------------------------------

The primal scream from right beside her made Ladybug cringe and fumble the lucky charm she had been about to toss into the air. Once she recovered herself the fact that the crisis had passed gave her a moment to actually evaluate her erstwhile companion. Evaluate, and remember that she was not a partner, she was a thief.

A ragged looking thief. Her blonde hair -did the cat miraculous make the user blonde?- was a voluminous mane down her back, bedecked with black metal hooks and barbs throughout. She turned post scream to give Ladybug a maniacal grin, revealing her needle-like fangs in place of incisors. Her heterochromatic eyes, one blue and one green, were feline as Cat Noir's had been, and her pupils were currently giant black moons swimming in color. 

“What are you looking at, Ladybum?” The thief drawled, raising the hand still dusted with cataclysm remains and flexing her fingers slowly.

Her gloved fingers ended in wicked looking black ‘claws’. She wore black leather, that much remained consistent too, but her V-neck collar was torn, not tailored.  Lastly, in place of Chat’s amusing belt-tail she had a razor thin wire wrapped around her waist with a heavy cat's paw pendant hanging from the end.

Ladybug narrowed her eyes, “You stole Cat Noir’s miraculous.”

The thief turned her hand, revealing the paw print ring with three toes left. “Finders keepers.”

Ladybug swapped hands and spun her yo-yo up, “Give it back.”

“No!” The thief lunged, catching Ladybug’s yo-yo mid-spin.

Ladybug countered, wrapping her line around the other girl’s arm ensnaring her. The thief’s other hand went for Ladybug’s neck. Ladybug blocked the lunge with the remaining length of her string, but the other girl’s palm pressed within scant centimeters. They were locked taut. Whoever gave ground would lose.

Those wild eyes were narrowed to slits. No akuma had ever scared Ladybug this badly. The anger melted from those features but the fingers still stretched for Ladybug’s throat. Ladybug felt a prick against her skin. “It has to be a pun, doesn’t it? Of course it does. Call me… Purrge. I’m going to turn Hawkmoth to dust, and anyone in my way.”

Ladybug strained. Her own anger fueled a push that took Purrge’s claws from her skin. “You’re crazy! I’m taking that ring back. You don’t deser-”

*Chirp* *chirp*

The overlapping sounds cut across the tension. Purrge’s eyes darted to Ladybug’s earrings. Ladybug’s were drawn to Purrge’s ring. Her mind raced. Has it been three or four?

Purrge’s lips curled into a sharp fanged grin, “You used yours first. You think you can take me down in time?”

Ladybug wanted to, oh she ached to, but there was more riding on this than personal satisfaction, but how to- A very slight easing of the pressure against her line; was it a ceasefire? Ladybug took a chance.

She pulled back, letting the line go slack. No claws cut off her breath. She didn’t wait. She scooped up the lucky charm and turned, “This isn’t over!  Miraculous Ladybugs!”

Ladybug tossed the charm even as she began her swing. Triumphant cackling bubbled up behind her. She didn’t look back. Paris rebuilt itself as Ladybug swung further away, seeking out a quiet spot and settling for behind a dumpster.

Marinette burst from the shadow of the dumpster at a run. If she got back quick enough maybe she could catch a glimpse. Maybe there would be a clue. Maybe she could get her partner back.

There wasn’t, and she couldn’t. Not yet at least. All that awaited her was the rest of the class. Alya almost knocked her over, grousing and shaking her by the shoulders while delivering a friendly but stern dressing down. At least she wasn’t the only one gone. Chloé had unsurprisingly run off and still wasn’t back. It took some of the heat off at least.

A few of the class, plus her parents, were gathered around a baker who sat head in hands on the curb. Marinette recognized him immediately, from even before the akuma. She scooted into the semi-circle.

“Mssr. Levure?”

He looked up in confusion.

Marinette gave him a guilty smile, “I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

She saw surprise, anger, then guilt pass over his features.

She continued, “I’m sorry. I think I’m at least partly responsible for all this. I convinced the curator to switch bakeries. I just wanted to help my family… but I didn’t stop to think about how doing it this way would impact them, or you. I know my dad and he’ll run himself into the ground to do all this work. Not only that but our bakery will probably be closed so he can do it. All our other customers will suffer.”

Marinette looked at her parents, who watched her with proud curiosity. She looked back to Mssr. Levure.

“Maybe… both bakeries can share the catering? I’ll make signs. We can promote both and have an even better, more varied selection for our guests. Would that be okay?”

Marinette held her breath. Mssr. Levure, her dad, and her mom held one of those ‘glance and head tilt’ conversations adults so often did. Then he stood and brushed his hands off before holding one out to Tom. “A temporary partnership?”

Tom shook hands, smiling. “Done.”

A small cheer erupted from the half dozen onlookers, and Marinette had the satisfaction of righting at least one wrong today. Still, there was one other… She looked around and spotted Adrien sitting by himself.

“What a day huh?” She announced her presence.

She might be right next to him, but he was still sitting far apart. “Did you see? Ladybug’s got a new partner.”

“Partner?! Oh no no, that’s not what it looked like to me at all. More like a new enemy, or a stray cat, or an enemy cat, or a stray enemy. There’s no way Ladybug would just replace her partner.”

Adrien turned to face her for the first time. The hope on his face was heartbreaking. “You really think so?”

Marinette fidgeted. Instinct said he needed a hug, but, but… he was… and she was…  Nervous laughter bubbled up without warning, “Ha! Sure sure No way! Oh look! It’s Alya! No one knows Ladybug like her. She runs the Ladyblog! Why don’t we go ask her together? I’m sure she’ll know! Come on!”

She waved her arms frantically to signal Alya, kicking herself internally the entire time.

---------------------------------------------------

On a rooftop balcony nearby Purrge landed hard. What should have been a hero landing turned into a stumble, a stagger, and a few lurching steps. A flash of green enveloped her, then Chloé collapsed face first onto the pavement.

Plagg zipped in a wide loop through the air, “What a debut! I think you broke three whole blocks before Ladybug put it all back together. Crack! Boom! That was fun, and you still beat the akuma, so Master Fu can’t yell at me!”

Chloé’s persistently prone repose caught his attention.

“Kid? Kid?”

He floated over, sitting atop her head, no response.  He turned an ear down against her skull, then floated to her back to do the same.

“Tsk, You gotta let the timer run out when it wants to, kid. You’re still pretty small.”

This got a response. The fingers of one of Chloé’s hands curled into a white knuckled fist for the space of a breath before uncurling again.

Plagg hmphed.

A CCTV camera, set up for security footage but never watched, recorded something odd that day.  The blanket from Chloe’s bed lifted itself by a single point and dragged itself out to the balcony(after one of the balcony doors mysteriously rotted off its hinges) The blanket was spread haphazardly over the recumbent heiress.

A little later the trashcan in the suite tipped itself over, and trash began emptying itself onto the floor.

------------------------------------------------

“Master Please! Calm, Master! Here, your beads.” Wayzz hovered nervously with the prayer bracelet in his hands.

“Calm? Calm!” Master Fu paced between the gramophone that hid the miracle box and the small TV in his room. He would stare at the TV, then go reach for the gramophone, then pace back to the TV.

When he turned to Wayzz his face looked pained and afraid, not angry. He pointed at the TV, “How can I be calm when… that?!”

Frozen on the TV was a still frame of Ladybug and a Black Cat wielder who was obviously not Cat Noir, locked in a struggle.

“The Cat Miraculous is out there in an unknown holder’s hands. It could be in danger. The Ladybug could be in danger. If Hawkmoth were to get his hands on the Ladybug…”

He went back to the gramophone again and laid his hands atop it,

“We must get it back. We must be careful, but we cannot delay. Ladybug will need help in the meantime, someone she can rely on, a power that can aid her when there are so many variables in play.”

“Master, do you mean…?”

Fu keyed in the secret combination to open the antique player, and reached for the Miracle Box hidden within. “Yes Wayzz, him.”

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

[tsuki-chibi]

Ladynoir July 2023 Day 29: Back to Back

Read all the entries on AO3

--

“I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for like a week. Is that really too much to ask?” Ladybug wondered, stumbling over to one of the reclining chairs on her balcony. She sank into it and stared up at the sky, feeling so tired that she couldn’t even bring herself to detransform.

Because if she did, she’d have to go downstairs to find cheese and cookies for Tikki and Plagg without her parents seeing, and probably some food for her partner too. That was beyond her at the moment.

“According to Hawkmoth, yes,” Chat said glumly. He sounded as exhausted as Ladybug felt. He sat down on the other reclining chair and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair.

“I just don’t get what’s up with him lately. Is he on vacation from his normal job or what?” Ladybug said. “He’s been sending akumas out back to back! I feel like every time I blink, there’s another akuma in Paris. It’s getting ridiculous.”

“Maybe he’s bored,” Chat said. “Or maybe he’s just trying to overwhelm us.”

That was, Ladybug thought, the more likely explanation. Hawkmoth was a dick like that. And unfortunately, if that was his plan, it was starting to work. Both she and Chat were getting so fatigued that they were starting to make dumb mistakes. But that was what happened when you fought six akumas in the span of three days. That was an average of two akumas per day for crying out loud.

She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing. The cool, early morning air felt nice on her face. She could easily fall asleep right here. What she wouldn’t give for her and Chat to have just a couple of hours to themselves. Chat needed the sleep even more than she did, what with how hard his father had been driving Adrien lately. Gabriel Agreste was also a dick, just for the record.

“What would you think…” Chat began, then trailed off.

Ladybug looked over at him. “What would I think of what?”

“Well… this is getting to be too much for us, My Lady. We need help.”

“We have help,” Ladybug said, confused. “We have Carapace and Rena Rouge and Queen Bee and Viperion when we need them, and Paon as an extra back-up.” In fact, during three out of the six battles, Ladybug had had to go fetch Rena Rouge for help. She’d gone to Carapace and Queen Bee twice.

“I know. But frankly, it’s getting really hard for me to keep an akuma occupied while you’re gone,” Chat said. “I think we should consider letting them keep their miraculous for good.”

Ladybug bit her lip and didn’t say anything. Truthfully, the thought had crossed her mind once or twice too. But even though she was the guardian know, she didn’t know if she wanted to cross that line. Master Fu had always been adamant that it was too dangerous to allow more miraculous out there fulltime so long as the Butterfly and Peacock were in the wrong hands.

“I’m not trying to pressure you. I’m just saying. I think it’s something we should talk about,” Chat said gently. “You trust our teammates, right? And LB… we cannot keep going at this pace. Something has to give. We need help that you don’t have to leave akuma fights to go get. Help that can just show up right away.”

An image flashed into Ladybug’s mind then, of her and Chat reporting to an akuma battle only to find that their teammates were already on scene. She wanted that, she realized.

And Chat was right. She did trust their teammates, even Queen Bee. Master Fu had never been able to trust anyone but Ladybug, and to a much lesser degree Chat Noir. But Ladybug didn’t want to be like that. There was a reason she’d chosen the people she had for the miraculous in the first place.

“Not Paon,” she said. “He’s too new and needs more practice.”

Chat looked delighted. “But the other four?”

Ladybug nodded slowly. “We can give it a try.”

[lamardeuse]

A falta de pan, tortillas

by lamardeuse

for @devirnis​, who asked for “copious amounts of dramatic bastard behavior”. Hope this fills the bill!

At six-thirty on Saturday morning, Eddie sends Buck this picture, along with an address in Glassell Park:

I need three lbs of masa sin preparar and one of the guajillos if they have them, california if not

The coffee's still kicking in as Buck squints at the picture.

                                                   one chili or one pound of chilis

 Jesus Buck are you kidding me

                                                    I am

                                                    though I'm wondering what the 

                                                    cock and balls is about

wtf

                                                     the red thing

                                                    on the right

THOSE ARE EXCLAMATION MARKS

                                                      they're...leaning

                                                     toward each other

                                                     suggestively

give me strength

                                                   I can be there in about an hour

                                                    is that okay

yes

thank you

I don't know if I have enough

                                                      I'll head out now

Eddie likes his last message. Buck immediately chugs the rest of his coffee, then sprints upstairs to get dressed. He has a dozen bottles of Jarritos in assorted flavors waiting by the door, but now he's thinking he should maybe swing by the market around the corner from Eddie's and buy a few more, especially since Christopher told him five of his cousins are going be there.

He's kicking himself for not getting up sooner, because by the time he gets there at a quarter to eight, Eddie's looking frazzled. His hair is uncharacteristically messy, and he has a hunted look in his eye, and he's –

Okay, so he's beautiful. And it's not like that's news to Buck, but lately it's been hitting him like a two by four to the back of the skull at some pretty inconvenient times. Like right now.

read the rest at the AO3

[shutupyeats]

It’s important, when the plot calls for you to draw a large, angry Black man, not to make him look too much like Uncle Ruckus.  At the same time, if ever anyone deserved to be drawn with a dash of hyperbole, it’s a Command Sergeant Major in the midst of calling some hapless SFC on the carpet over what exact shade of white the extra duty section painted his rocks or some shit.  It’s also worth noting that he is in fact chewing out a white man, from a position of unquestioned authority.  20 years ago or so, when people were looking at the military with rose-colored glasses more so than today, some Republican — Colin Powell or Charles Krauthammer or someone — pointed out that the military was one of the few places in American life, even at that late date, where Black people routinely were in charge of large numbers of white people.  Obviously those rose-colored glasses covered a lot, but there you have it.  Pretty sure this is a realistic scene, at any rate, because this guy ticks all of the Command Sergeant Major boxes, viz:

o Is gigantic.*

o** Veteran of six wars.

o Mustard stain from Granada. Yes, Granada.

o Spent his whole career in 82nd ABD / 25th ID because HOOAH, now assigned to an ABCT and does not know what boresighting is, never mind that, look how many bricks I have in my ruck.

o Once broke three of Mike Tyson’s teeth in a bar fight in Mexico City in 1992.

o Promoted beyond his skill set, unsure of his role and unfireable except for gross misconduct, he chooses to focus his efforts on a handful of trivial pet peeves well within his understanding but irrelevant to unit performance.

o Photos on wall of him in LRS sniper section.

o Photo on desk of his estranged daughter from second marriage, taken ten years ago; she is now majoring in Gender and Women’s Studies at Oberlin.

o Does not swear because was brought up in podunk Southern town where cussin’ meant whoopin’.

o Therefore uses an extreme variety of minced oaths that are just as effective if not more so.

o Wants to know why the rocks are painted two different shades of white, and needs them fixed fast because in an hour the whole chain of command of everyone who missed a dental appointment is going to be in this office, too, and it’s not that big.

*OR is 95 lbs soaking wet and composed entirely of sinew.

** Command Sergeants Major will note that I correctly started my bullets with a lower-case “o.”  I did not, however, start them with a lower case letter and a verb, because I graduated from high school.  Fight me.

[jodilin65]

MONDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2019 Want to lose weight? Just stop exercising, LOL. In the three days I’ve taken off from exercising I’ve lost 2 lbs, as I usually do when I take a break. But I value the benefits of keeping active so I’m going to work out in a bit and gain more muscle that I don’t need and not lose the fat I do need to lose, haha.

Been getting “neck knockers” again lately and I don’t know why. That’s usually a blood pressure thing but my blood pressure hasn’t been any higher than usual. It’s actually not that bad. I’ve also been having some palpitations which get a little scary at times. I’m not talking about a racing HR so much as that fluttery feeling that lasts for a few seconds.

The commercial planes have gone from horrible to quiet to back to being horrible. Last night I couldn’t even hear the freeway, so except for a few helicopters and small planes, it was relatively quiet. When I awoke in the early evening and turned off the sound machine, I could hear the freeway which told me I would likely hear the planes, and sure enough, we’re back to half a dozen or so an hour. They’ve been flying later and starting earlier and we easily get around 100 a day, not counting small planes and helicopters.

It’s absolutely horrible here and I can’t believe others aren’t just as annoyed. Emergencies are one thing but it’s totally ridiculous how so many businesses are all about making money and to hell with who gets put out by it. I can’t wait to get out of this fucking place someday. It’s hard to get a quiet place anywhere, but I just want to get off the street and out of a flight path!

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2019 Nice to be able to understand Love’s mother’s German on YOU and yes, achieving orgasm at her age definitely does get harder, if you can ever get in the mood to begin with. Sometimes I wonder if a younger hottie could even do it for me these days, but I doubt it. As for being “dry as a desert” down there, I don’t know about that, but things certainly aren’t like the Amazon rainforest either.

Thanks to the fucking garbage truck waking me up, I’m a little tired today. I’m sure the wine I also treated myself to didn’t help either.

I’ve noticed that when I take a few days off from working out, my weight drops. All I do when I work out is gain more muscle. I don’t lose any fat. Well, I definitely don’t need any more muscle weighing me down any more than I need more fat, but it’s true, LOL. I build muscle so easily that all I do is pack on more whenever I work out. I wouldn’t want to because super muscular men are gross and it’s even grosser on a woman, but I could train as a bodybuilder so easily!

After unfriending and blocking the drama queen on Goodreads (I forgot that because I joined through Facebook it would automatically connect me with my Facebook friends) I decided to leave the same comment I left to the same person that bashed one of my books on Amazon. I also flagged them, but I don’t know if anything will be done about them. If they don’t do anything at least they’ll have my reply which is the paragraph below.

Hello! I am the author of this book, and you left the exact same dramatic message on Amazon which they removed. First, I’m very sorry you didn’t enjoy the book. Secondly, never did I try to hide the genre of this book. I never said in the synopsis that it was a “bad relationship” nor did I list it in such categories as romance, drama or relationships. If you’re this sensitive, then perhaps you should seek actual romances and or comedies. And may I suggest in the future simply moving on to something else when you happen upon a book you dislike rather than bashing the book/author? Just a suggestion. :) Have a nice day!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019 I may skip entering expiring sweeps this month because all it does these days is invite spam and win notifications for other people. I’m sorry, but I just don’t need to be congratulated on some stranger’s win in whatever city and state they live in.

I decided I missed writing publicly on MD after all, and the guy was kind enough to restore the account I deleted. I don’t give a shit anymore if Tammy and her brood find me. I can ignore them. I did change my username, however, not wanting to make it that easy for them. So, if they look up my name, they’ll be out of luck. They’ll have to stumble upon me accidentally or find some other means of looking me up.

I am going to discontinue Dreamwidth, though, because there is a tool to make all the entries public, so I learned, but it’s a paid feature. So, screw them.

The people we bought the guinea pigs’ hay from are sending a free hay mobile for the pigs in exchange for leaving a product review on Amazon. I even included a picture. I also gave them additional pictures of the pigs and one of Fuzzy for their featured cuties, as they call it.

The pigs aren’t as dumb as I thought they were. They know exactly where all their things are kept. When I go to the refrigerator, they follow me to the corner of their pen closest to it because they know that’s where their lettuce is kept. They also beg by the counter that’s by the entryway because they know that’s where their tomatoes are. Also, I went into the kitchen last night and saw they were out of hay. I started fixing myself something to eat and told myself I would get their hay once I preheated the oven. Then they walked over to the counter where the hay is and started squealing, so they know where it’s kept.

I woke up today thinking it was quite a miracle that I slept through the trash and green waste trucks, but it turns out there’s a simple reason why. They didn’t come today. I guess that due to the holidays they’re backed up, so they’re coming tomorrow instead.

I’m a little perplexed as to why Aly won’t point out typos in my journal entries that I either discover later or put in her entries deliberately as a test. Does she feel like it’s too much to ask for? I wouldn’t think that would be asking for much in exchange for me taking the time to send her the entries, but I guess it’s just a pain in the ass for her for some reason. Aly’s always been known to notice things but not say anything, as she herself once tweeted.

Time to go trim my bangs now.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2019 So, SO grateful to my bestie for upvoting 3 of the books she’s read on Goodreads! As I told her, I owe her one!

It was my turn to be pissed at Netflix. S2 of YOU was just released there, even though Hulu still has enough stuff. For now, anyway. It’s just my luck that as soon as I find an American movie that looks good, it turns out I’ve already seen it.

Anyway, I realized we actually have Netflix until January 8th, so that gives me plenty of time to watch the second season of YOU, even if as always, race and color have to be mentioned and it must be implied that life is a bowl of cherries for whites wow insinuating that a woman at the motor vehicles didn’t get proper attention simply because she was Muslim. Really, really getting sick of all these exaggerated and unfair portrayals of non-whites as victims and whites having everything come easy to them.

All the conservatives that hate gays must be a million more times more annoyed than I am because just as many shows depicting all these non-whites that are supposedly picked on by the evil yet “privileged” white man have gay and lesbian characters, too. It’s about time, too! Yes, every group has been shit on in some form or another, but no groups have been victimized nearly as much as gays and Jews. So while I’m irritated by how bad TV makes white people look these days, I’m ten times more thrilled to see those lesbian weddings! :-)

So much for getting any peace from commercial planes after midnight. Two of them roared overhead one right after the other after 1am. The night before they waited till just after midnight, while the day before it was all day and all night. So they’re just as unpredictable as they are predictable.

Thanks, God, for ensuring that every single fucking place I ever live in is noisy. Thanks. Seriously, I clench my fists and say to any possible God up there through gritted teeth, “You WILL compensate me for all this noise in the next place. You WILL!”

But of course it won’t. Just like some people are meant to be alone or broke, I’m meant to live with noise.

The mama’s boy came and went yesterday and might have woken me up. I’m not sure, though. I’m not sure if I woke up and then heard it or if it woke me up first but, one of the times I definitely heard it.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2019 Not surprisingly, Christmas Eve begins with the loud car coming and then going. Hoping it will disappear after the holidays, but it seems that at least one of the times it became a regular problem was right after the new year began.

At least I’m finally getting some peace from above tonight. It’s wonderful. Last night was just awful! You couldn’t even go 10 to 15 minutes without hearing commercials, small planes, or low-flying helicopters. It really sucked. Had the air cleaner running on high and could still hear the fuckers.

I’ve already begun my healthier eating but not dieting in the traditional sense. My goals are simple… Eat right, keep active, and let the rest take care of itself and be whatever it’s meant to be.

However, I’m still getting hit with random bouts of fatigue that really annoys me. There doesn’t seem to be much of a pattern to it. Sometimes I can work out for an hour and still have energy, and other times I can slave over the animals like we did for about a half-hour and feel drained as if I’d been going and going for hours. Since I’m not in perimenopause anymore and since I don’t believe I have PV, it probably is low thyroid. I’ll begin swapping in fatigue for anxiety in February before my March blood drawing.

I wonder how much of it could be age. I’ve heard conflicting reports as far as aging and fatigue. Some say it goes with the territory and others say you shouldn’t be tired just because you’re older and that if you are, something’s wrong. If it is normal with age, is 54 really old enough to feel this way?

I hope Dixie was able to get the help that she expected from Pat and her husband. Pat is the black woman that lives next to her. I’ve exchanged waves and hellos with her before, but thanks to the sickos in Arizona putting a complex on me, I’m hesitant to get too close even though this is certainly no welfare bum on C8. The last thing I need is to have her get pissed off at me for whatever and find out the hard way that she has a corrupt cop friend she can use to race-card me into trouble. Again, it may be highly unlikely, but it happened once. Their stories kept changing, though. I guess first the bitch told the media I threatened just her, and then it was her whole family. I’m not trusting in general no matter who it is or where they’re from, but there are certain cases where I’m even more hesitant to take chances.

A couple of days ago I noticed that the shower pressure was back down again. We’re not sure what it is but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was on the park somehow.

Someone in the UK downloaded 8 pages of Renting Ginny. Let me guess… They hated it and can’t wait to bash it on Goodreads, right? I asked Aly, and she’s going to be kind enough to give it a good rating. Hopefully, it will go through.

Found an easier way to double-check and edit entries on Blogger, MD, PB and Dreamwidth/LJ, but it’s still a big job and LJ is giving me shit tonight. They’re saying I exceeded the login failure rate and that my IP has been temporarily banned. Yet when I go to the site directly, I’m able to do things there. Tom thinks it’s a bandwidth issue.

Last night I dreamed of beaches and other things, but I can’t remember the other things.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2019 I was looking forward to doing another exercise video today, but I don’t know. I’m kind of tired today. Maybe I’ll just walk on the treadmill. I even wanted to go out and get a walk in the fresh air, but I just don’t have the energy. I don’t know why. I didn’t think I slept that badly.

I Googled my name to see how easy it is to pull up my Blogger blog, and it isn’t. Not since Google+ went away. In doing so, I found the same shitty review on Renting Ginny on Goodreads that the person left on Amazon before the drama queen’s review, which was removed. Someone else I don’t seem to know also gave it a 1-star rating.

So they love it when it’s free but hate it when it’s not? Anyone who’s ever read it for free said it was a really good book. And why are people quick to review books they don’t like as opposed to those they do like?

I also discovered someone gave Evil Amongst the Evergreens a 3-star rating and gave Kinky Katrina a 4-star rating on a Dutch site.

Since Aly is a Goodreads member, and Goodreads is mostly for rating books and keeping track of what you read, I asked her to see if she could rate any of them. Ginny could certainly use a boost over there!

All is fairly quiet in the park today, but the sky is a totally different story.

I woke up with a slight headache and it’s not going away on its own, so time to hit the ibuprofen.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2019 The planes weren’t as bad as I expected them to be last night or so far today, but the car stereos around here are getting worse. Don’t most things eventually, though? I’m hearing them more when I’m out in public and even in the park. I’m guessing most of the park ones aren’t residents but delivery people or visitors.

Lots of wind and rain today as we made a quick run to Walgreens. This should be it for the rest of the year, though.

At the store, they had some items discounted and one of them was a collection of bergamot and vanilla-scented body wash, lotion, body butter, and cologne for just $5. It’s nice smelling. Not great, but good and definitely a good deal.

Tom agrees that I don’t have polycythemia vera and that they likely just use that term for someone who’s slightly high when it comes to red blood cells and hematocrit counts.

The way so many doctors screw up, not just with me but with people in general, is rather alarming. It seems to happen way more often than it should. They can’t get everything right 100% of the time, but I think they fuck up a little too often.

My PCP told me that high blood pressure couldn’t cause anxiety, but anxiety could cause high blood pressure. That’s not what I recently read online, though.

Then there was that time they were going to start me on the same blood pressure medicine he was on that made him cough a lot when I saw the nurse and asked her to ask Doc A if it could be losartan or something like that instead. Then the doctor later tells me that my morning readings are good so it’s best not to take anything because it might make me dizzy, and I was like, NOW she tells me this? How dizzy might I have gotten if I’d gone ahead and taken what the nurse first recommended?

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2019 Tom and I racked our brains trying to figure out why I couldn’t tap a word on the phone when voice typing and have a drop-down menu with other options appear. Then he did some research and found that we needed to turn off Samsung’s speech-to-text and activate Google’s, which I feel is the most accurate and has the best features. So now I once again have that option and won’t be going back to my old phone like I might have had we not been able to fix that.

As heavy and as bulky as this phone is in comparison, I definitely like it much better. It’s much faster and the graphics look great. I also love unlocking it with my fingerprint.

I can tell it’s going to be a bad plane night. If you can hear them tearing overhead at this time, then they’re likely to be bad until after midnight.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I’ve been less public for a while now not just because I don’t want people in my past to know what’s going on with me but possible future park managers or rental managers not being able to glimpse into who I am, and I wonder if I should worry about that so much. Maybe I’m worrying about that more than I should, so sooner or later I’m going to say “fuck it” just like I stopped being too nice and too forgiving. If a potential management company looks in on me before deciding whether or not to sell or rent to us and they decide they don’t like me because I’m liberal or something, then maybe they’re not the ones to be doing business with in the first place. As for those in my past, fuck what they know or don’t know because they’re in my past to stay. They won’t be getting a brand-new pass into my life in a decade or so from now because of biology, something people take way too seriously and put way too much stock in.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2019 Damn you, Sarah. Yeah, I should have figured the little shit would go through my followers and reach out to Tom on Pinterest as she did three weeks ago. Well, the turd has been blocked with its message completely unread and ignored. I also changed our usernames and profile links.

It’s kind of funny that they think Tom is the answer to their problem with me and that he’s going to fix everything and side with them as opposed to his “mentally ill” wife. Yeah, everyone that pisses them off automatically becomes mentally ill. However, she and her sisters and mother are as meaningless to us as strangers on the other side of the world babbling at us in some totally foreign language. They always will be, too.

We were laughing the other day when I realized that his workplace is right in front of Tammy’s face only she doesn’t know it, of course. Well, the old name of his workplace is. It isn’t called that anymore but I’m pretty sure one of the pictures I took in Florida shows him wearing a company shirt.

I love my new phone but speech-to-text, which is the most important thing for me with all the writing I do, isn’t as easy to use, which is a bit surprising. If my other one didn’t write out swears it would at least star them but now it gives me incorrect words altogether in place of swears. “Shit” is “ship.”

Worst of all is that I can’t touch a word I want to change and get a drop-down menu with other alternatives.

I still have a lot of setting up to do. The phone is so long that it’s hard to see everything clearly without moving my eyeballs, lol. It might actually be a little skinnier than my cheap Android but it’s definitely longer and images are sharper. It came with a stunning image of a forest in autumn with colorful trees for wallpaper.

I first consider playing music on this phone when out walking but it’s a bit heavy and bulky. I have to remember not to hold it too low in my small hand otherwise it could topple over the back of my hand. If you want something compact and lightweight, the Samsung Galaxy isn’t the way to go. I had to laugh when I thought of Aly because she’d probably hate it.

I love the way I can unlock it with my thumbprint. I think that’s a lot more secure than pin numbers or passwords. Facial recognition is also an option, but some people do look similar to others whereas no one has our fingerprints.

Anyway, I’m excited about the idea of Aly possibly saving up to come out here in the summer, even if it’s only for a day, or a day and a night. If it’s just her, she can stay on the living room couch if she wants and save on hotels. I’ll even move the animals out of that area for her. It’s unlikely the pigs would start screaming but they do get chatty and the rats get rambunctious at night when they’re playing. I can get her favorite foods for her if we don’t go out to eat. twirls with delight I definitely won’t be in the nude while she’s here like I was in my dream last night, though, lol. I have no idea why, but I was naked as we were chatting. Finally, I thought to ask her if my being naked made her uncomfortable.

I was a little shy and embarrassed by the idea of her seeing just how big and old I’m getting but not only does she not judge her friends by how they look, but everyone gets old and almost everyone gains weight with age. It’s a simple fact of life. Besides, no matter what my age and size, I’m still me. :) The exact age and size I was meant to be. My bigness gives me a sense of confidence and security when out in public, especially when I’m by myself. I don’t have to worry about perverts and shit like that since most people would rather not mess with a nearly 160-pound person even if she doesn’t quite look that heavy because she works out. So, definitely some benefits to being a big girl even though I’d be healthier if I weren’t.

Went for a walk late in the morning after a quick phone call to Dixie. Along the way I heard 2 dogs go off, 2 projects being done, 3 sections being mown and blown, and 2 planes, but it was still a good workout. I’m surprised I only heard a couple of planes.

Did additional research and checked my medical records to see exactly what they say I have, and it’s listed as polycythemia vera which is a rare blood cancer. The red cell blood count and hematocrit are what are most important. The last time I had blood drawn, both were slightly high. Some people don’t have symptoms. The prognosis isn’t nearly as bad as it was years ago, though I still doubt I’ll ever need treatment for it. If I do, I’m probably many years away from that.

Leave it to Santa to put up a snowman balloon that’s taller than his house. It looks cool as do many of the holiday decorations around here. I think he’s the one that’s been sawing so much. With things running and me not in the living room, it’s not so bad, but otherwise it’s a bit annoying as are their dogs, and I hope to hell we never end up next to someone like that who’s always outside doing all kinds of projects like Jesse was.

When Tom got home yesterday, we ran out to Rite Aid for treats. I made sure not to overdo it, and my New Year’s resolution is definitely going to be to give up the glass of wine I often have at the end of my day, and limit my treats to 1 serving, 1 day a week. I know we can make resolutions any time of the year but figure that would be a good time because it’s always harder during the holidays to behave.

Just when we go to kill Netflix, Tom says they added a show he wanted to watch. ROTFL! We still have enough stuff to watch on Hulu, though. I just discovered Criminal Minds: Suspicious Behavior and began watching that. Did I have to hear about race? Well, of course. This time it was more in relation to serial killers not usually changing races along the way as opposed to racism, but still. It’s funny how race/racism always happens to come up in modern shows.

Kind of a lame-looking cast, though. Forest Whitaker is one ugly, creepy-looking guy with that fucked up eye of his. The one who’s partially bald doesn’t look like an actor but more like an ordinary guy you wouldn’t expect to find on TV.

I also had this weird dream of running out of money and not being able to get ahold of Dad, who was still alive. I was living alone and didn’t seem to know Tom. I decided to have some Chinese delivered for dinner and then realized funds were getting low and I probably shouldn’t splurge. Then I began to worry more when I realized Dad never responded to my message about running low on money. I guess I didn’t work or receive any type of benefits.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2019 Part of the fatigue I sometimes have could come from the polycythemia IF their diagnosis is correct and I really do have it. According to my research, it isn’t cancer. It’s a mutant gene that causes the body to produce too many red and white blood cells and for the blood to become thicker and flow slower. What’s weird is that one of the symptoms is a burning sensation in the soles of your feet. I’ve had that from time to time but wrote it off to dry skin. I still disagree with this diagnosis but it’s interesting. They don’t know what causes it but it’s rare and not hereditary. Progression and symptoms can vary, and they can be treated with things like aspirin, removing some blood like they do when you donate blood or medication. If I really do have it, it’s highly unlikely to ever be a serious enough issue for me to need treatment. That would be my guess, anyway, based on my research.

Hanging out in the living room yesterday and listening to all kinds of planes and helicopters was a waste of time because FedEx never came. Instead, Tom picked up my phone on his way home from work. At least he didn’t have to go out of the way. It was right down the street from where he works. The phone is now activated but I’m having trouble setting it up and want to wait till he gets home. Can’t wait to take pictures with this thing. A $350 phone ought to look really nice. I can no longer make calls on my cheap LG phone, but it can still do things like Skype and WhatsApp. I’ll only use it to play music when I’m out walking.

I just got back from a half-hour walk, and as usual, I mixed in some jogging. I didn’t bother to take my old phone and play music, though, because I figured it would be a bit hard to hear over the landscaping and planes. Although it was only 50 degrees, it was nice out. The sky was cloudy and the roads were still wet but the winds were calm.

When I was hanging out in the living room yesterday, I saw the park’s ATVs enter the circle six different times. Once they were pulling a small trailer. I didn’t hear any landscaping at the time, so I wonder what they were doing.

He’s still doing a lot of OT but it’s bringing in an extra 90 bucks a day, which we could always use.

I emailed Dixie, telling her I couldn’t call out just yet and asked if she wanted company today, but I haven’t heard back from her. I reread her email and she said something about not being able to get the timesheets in the “portal,” it’s horrible what they’re doing to them, she wrote and told them so.

Still not really sure what she’s talking about, but I think it has to do with Diane. They’re really starting to pressure Dixie into having Diane put in some kind of home somewhere.

Out of the 10 dolls from the Heart for Hearts collection, I like the ones from Laos, Mexico, Afghanistan, and India, and one from the US the best. But I don’t want to spend $200 on all these dolls so I think I’ll just get the one from Laos and a clothes lot. They have lots of clothes for various types of dolls. In one lot I found, there are 10 outfits for $28, and I like each outfit, so I’ll probably get that eventually. Fuck that I’m in my 50s. I love cute, bright, colorful things and I always will. :-)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2019 So Trumpty Dumpty is being impeached after all. It’s too bad it’s meaningless, though. Doesn’t mean he’s going to get kicked out of office.

On the treadmill now this cold wet Wednesday, watching a couple of turkeys through the window poking at whatever it is they’re poking at in the middle of the road. We’re gonna have highs in the 50s and 60s and lows in the 40s over the next few days.

So much for thinking the weather and direction of the wind would save me from the planes because I’ve definitely heard plenty of commercials from 5:40 till around 8:30. Now it’s mostly small planes and helicopters.

I still don’t get why I haven’t gotten accustomed to living with noise when it’s all I’ve ever known for most of my life, and each place only gets noisier.

Today I don’t have the luxury of hiding under sound machines because I have to sign for a package. FedEx tried to deliver my new Samsung phone yesterday, but because I just have to live in a noisy neighborhood and am forced to use sound machines to keep from being distracted so much, I never heard anyone come to the door. The rain will probably save me from landscaping sounds today, but I’ll have to deal with the traffic both on the ground and in the sky for now. They said they would attempt to deliver again today between 10:30 and 5:00 and I’m sure that with my shit luck it will be closer to 5:00. Tom said don’t worry if I miss them if they happen to come by when I’m in the bathroom or something because he can always stop by FedEx and pick it up on his way home from work.

Tammy definitely didn’t get the anonymous message I sent shortly after they started shit with me. The bitch is still stuck in my Outlook contacts on my phone and I haven’t figured out how to get rid of her yet. When I noticed this, I realized I input the wrong address. That’s okay, though, because ghosting these assholes is definitely the best way to go. I don’t think they’ll give me any more shit but it’s always best to have all the evidence show that they’re the ones that kept contacting me after I specifically said I didn’t want to go back and forth and not me.

I asked if J could tell me if Stuart, Florida has visited me on one of the writing platforms this month, figuring he’d blow me off or say he couldn’t (wouldn’t) give me that info, but instead I was surprised by him telling me he doesn’t see any such visitor in the last 30 days. If that’s true, it’s a little surprising. I’m also surprised she never emailed me or found a way to obtain our address.

Dixie canceled our plans for me to visit her yesterday because she said something about an opportunity to see a movie and how she really needed a movie at the moment, plus some kind of computer problem. I told her that would be fine because there are other days.

She asked if I wanted to visit later today and I told her today wouldn’t be a good day. Then she said something about asking the people next to her for help because she couldn’t get the “sheets in the portal.” I have no idea what she’s talking about.

My Elula doll arrived yesterday and she’s adorable. The BFI doll clothes do fit but are a little loose in the chest because the BFI’s depict more of a girl in her early teens whereas these dolls are younger and reflect that of a girl between 8-10.

Unfortunately, I had to unpair the new Alexa clock with the remote because the damn thing would make these random ding-dongs every now and then. So far it seems to have helped but it’s only been a day. I like having the clock but hate how it too, has too much bass and sounds muffled just like the last one we got that the drama queen won’t be getting.

Hulu now has an app of its own where we can watch through that instead of a browser and I began watching Cold Squad from the late 90s. Because it’s older, it’s square and grainy but at least back in these days, it wasn’t all about the same old overrated, exaggerated shit you hear relentlessly these days. It’s an okay series so far. They’ve got seven seasons on the site. I’m only on the second episode.

Guess I’ll do a workout vid now. It stopped keeping track of how many of the ones I’d subscribed to that I’ve done, so I’m keeping track by writing them down.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2019 Ordered a 14in all-vinyl doll named Elula for just $8 yesterday. She’ll arrive tomorrow. I want to see if the BFI doll clothes fit this type of doll. If not, I’ll have a cute doll in a cute outfit. This one has straight blonde hair to the shoulders with bright blue eyes. She wears a pink tunic with gray and white tights. She also has gold glitter shoes and a gold glitter hair bow. She’s from the Glitter Girls collection. The Wellie Wishers are too expensive and average $60. Too much for dolls this size. The Glitter Girls are normally $20. There’s another collection that averages $40 that I like that has dolls from different countries. I like the ones from Laos and India best and may eventually get them. They’re supposed to be able to share clothes.

The cases for the new phone came yesterday and while the glitter one is gorgeous, the beach scene isn’t as sharp and clear as it looked online because it’s actually textured. It’s still nice, though.

We replaced all 10 fluorescent bulbs in the kitchen with LEDs that say they last 44 years. They’re skinnier and super bright. If it wasn’t for the frosted panels in the drop-down ceiling, there would be no way I could stand it.

I might have had a productive weekend, but I sure had a rough night last night. I don’t know if it’s because I overate or if I ate something bad, but I really need to stop the weekend binge eating. I always do it with the idea of getting rid of it all, but I never do because it’s still such a gross thought and bad for the throat.

I felt horrible all night and I’m still a little queasy. Lots of heartburn and nausea. My heartburn is gone now but I’m kind of surprised I didn’t throw up. A part of me wished I would, too.

Because it just had to happen so close to bedtime, I woke up several times and again, there’s no doubt that something up there is cursing my sleep. If it isn’t noise waking me up, it’s shit like this, or I wake up just because. Why is it so important to whatever’s up there that I don’t sleep well? I’ll never be able to answer that one any more than why anything up there might not want me getting all the medication I need.

Two nights ago was my fault. I was dumb enough to turn off the brown noise when I woke up at 7:30. Then at 9, something loud roared by and woke me up.

The planes are back to being horribly annoying as well. The winds have to be heading south in order to shut them up and that just doesn’t happen very often. Later in the week, they should head south again because we’re going to get more rain. For now, it looks like we just hit freezing for the first time this year. Just going out in the 36-degree temperatures yesterday morning to the store was agonizing enough. It’s horribly cold. The thirties are torture for me.

We got rid of Netflix figuring that Hulu, HBO and Prime TV are enough. Netflix was getting really bad with foreign shit. I don’t know why they would think Americans want to sit and watch movies in Japan, Turkey or wherever. The rise in foreign movies is everywhere but at least Hulu has some American crime docs I don’t mind watching. Right now I’m watching Your Worst Nightmare and it’s pretty intense. Watching these things can be depressing and infuriating but it’s also a reminder of just how lucky I am in many ways.

Tom cleaned the hair out of the Roomba’s brush since I noticed it wasn’t picking up much when it would vacuum.

We also set up the new Echo clock and I paired the remote to it.

He was going to unclog the shower screen to up the water pressure since the fucking park clogs it up whenever they play water games with us, but it fixed itself on its own somehow.

When I stepped in the shower yesterday, I noticed it right away and figured he fixed it, but he said that when he was in the middle of showering, all of a sudden, it went back to full pressure. So if it wasn’t the park that fixed it, which I doubt that early in the morning, then whatever was blocking the screen slipped out of the way.

Anyway, due to being both tired and queasy, I told Dixie I would prefer to take it easy today and asked if tomorrow would be a good day to visit, and she said that would be fine.

Although I don’t know what good it will do me, I’ve been praying for both the Florida and Arizona scum not to give me any trouble, but not too hard because I still don’t know that I believe in prayer and I never really had a bad vibe warning me that trouble was ahead to begin with. I don’t even know if the bitch in Arizona even got the message or read it if she did. If she did, she’s already gone to the police, even though it was nothing illegal.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2019 Just a quick update saying that I’m excited about our new Samsung Galaxy phones with their much faster processors and other features that will be better than this cheap Android. I can’t wait to see how well pictures turn out since it has more pixels and all that and will be a little bigger.

I also picked out a couple of cases for it. One has glitter that moves about as you tilt the phone and the other is of a beautiful beach dotted with palm trees.

We went to Sam’s yesterday which was more crowded than usual because they’re having these holiday deals where they let everyone in all day long. We have a membership that allows us to shop earlier than most people but thanks to the holidays, they’re kind of screwing everything up and we’ve had to sometimes change when we shop. His stopping on the way home from work last Friday wasn’t an option because he worked so damn late. It actually wasn’t as bad as expected but OMG! The fucking beeping from the forklifts was really annoying. We do most of our shopping in the back corner where the produce and frozen stuff are kept, but most people were up front. It seems they were mostly after giant TVs and storage bins.

In a few hours, we’re going to Walmart as we normally do on Sundays.

I had this weird dream where we were living with Miss Perfect and the queen was still alive, too. Of course, there was Dave as well. Then there was also this guy that was there temporarily, and I couldn’t wait for him to leave because he had a scary Rottweiler. Nonetheless, they all seemed to accept my sleep disorder without question and let me sleep when I needed to.

Aly is a reminder that so many doctors out there don’t know what they’re doing, and it’s scary, too. One doctor told her she simply had indigestion, but she knew something was wrong. So she got a second opinion and they found that she had a bowel obstruction which likely needed surgery but since the worst of it was over and had left her with a mild infection that an antibiotic should clear up, she should be okay from here on out.

She’s likely going to report the other doctor but as I told her, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t do her any good. They’re practically as invincible as cops are.

I thought about not so much as bashing but maybe leaving a 3-star review on Yelp for my GYN in regards to her not doing a biopsy and properly diagnosing and treating me, leaving me to suffer a lot of burning and itching until Amy could diagnose and treat me properly. But that $900 complaint really put a complex on me, and again, what good would it do?

Aly’s moved in with those gay guys again. It’s nice of them to be there for her when she’s between boyfriends but if I said that to her, I know she would be offended and take it the wrong way. I think it’s gotten harder for her, and perhaps embarrassing, to admit she can’t hold a relationship for long and to admit that she moves on rather quickly. I don’t think she’ll move in with someone new in just a month or two, but I’m sure that within a week or two, she’ll at least start having sex with someone that she’ll say she’s taking it slow with. But hey, she’s a grown adult. She has the right to do what she wants. I do wonder, however, if a permanent relationship is meant to be for her. I don’t think it’s her so much as what she’s going for. As I said, if I read Cam’s bio on a dating site, I’d run fast as hell. I think she’s going for guys who want to take a little too much control, but I can’t say for sure without having ever met them and seeing them interact together. She’s got to be doing something wrong somewhere, though, unless it really truly just isn’t meant to be or somewhere in her subconscious, she wants it this way.

Oh, the ease of being straight, though. Had guys been my cup of tea prior to meeting Tom, I can imagine all the fun I might’ve had. But that could also lead to more problems, too.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2019 I said I was taking full doses of my meds 4 times a week, but it was actually 3. I skipped today and will go back to 3 times a week and stick to that as long as I don’t feel anxious again. If I do, I’ll drop it to twice a week.

Had a very tired day and didn’t work out at all. I don’t think it’s just low thyroid, though, or else I would have fatigue every single day. I think I’m just having one of those days, especially with my sleep getting broken up. I woke up just a few hours after crashing and had trouble falling back asleep. I even took a nap about an hour after I got up the second time, not that it refreshed me in any way.

In case I didn’t say so before, the wrist weights are to wear when I’m doing workout videos.

My new fleece nightie in size medium fits me well and is very comfortable.

Once again, Aly is not living with Cam full-time. She says it’s just better if she doesn’t. I don’t know why her relationships don’t last even if they’re not exactly enemies or anything like that. I don’t know if it’s her or the types of people she’s going for but sometimes I wonder it’s the poor girl is ever meant to be with anyone permanently.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019 I’ve been up for over 10 hours and I’m just now able to relax and enjoy some free time after a very busy but productive night. I worked out, took care of the animals, did some cleaning, and did various odds and ends around the house. Now it’s me-time.

Found that I was down half a pound even though I only ended up walking for about 45 minutes yesterday. I’m not really that surprised because even I can lose a few pounds when I either up my exercise or lower my calories.

I would love to be able to eat like I have been and still maintain my weight only somewhere between 110-120 pounds. But that’s not the way it works, of course. The less we weigh, the fewer calories it takes to maintain that weight. At least I shouldn’t be seeing the 160s anytime soon with all I’ve been doing. Besides, I’m in my comfort zone, what I’m used to, and where my body feels it needs to be.

I made myself a delicious home-cooked meal of a super lean beef patty, home fries, and broccoli with chopped green onions sprinkled on the meat and potatoes. It took about a half-hour to throw it all together, but it was relaxing, and the pigs loved having me hang out in the kitchen with them.

Got a pair of wrist weights that fit perfectly. Not too tight, not too loose. I hated the light blue stretchy ones I got from Denise Austin back in Arizona because they started off too tight and then became too loose. The weights are a pound each and are pink with black trim.

I didn’t do any walking on the treadmill today, but I did a 35-minute low-impact HIIT routine that left me surprisingly sweaty, out of breath and a little fatigued. The instructors kept saying that was normal and they were feeling it too, but it seemed that I shouldn’t be sweating in my bra and panties when the house was 71° and the fan was going. I’m starting to believe I’m never going to stop hot flashing. It’s still not as bad as last year but I’m getting them in bed and when I do physical activity. Unfortunately, I also felt a little anxious earlier tonight and last night, so it’s time to scale back the medication. I think I’m just going to skip altogether tomorrow and just drop back to 3 full doses a week instead of 4. Even though I’ve improved immensely, I’m beginning to think I’m going to experience intermittent anxiety all my life. Especially if I’m right about most of it being connected to this drug which I’m going to need forever.

HASfit has 33 low-impact video routines I’m subscribed to and I love how it keeps track of how many I’ve done. I’ve done the first two so far and it says 2/33.

Got the newest Alexa with the digital clock in it and I love how I never have to set it. If you like it as pitch black as I do when I sleep, it’s only slightly bright but not blinding like the other clock we put layers of cellophane over that I still had to block with a pillow or something. Obviously, when I’m sleeping in the daytime it won’t matter, but if it bugs me at night, all I have to do is rest a spare pillow against it.

I always have her play brown noise at volume 5. I usually have the stereo doing its white noise at 24 decibels in the daytime and 26 at night. I decided to take a chance and drop it to 26 and I slept fine. Not too thrilling in the way of dreams but I’ll get to that in a minute.

I also got the oolong tea I ordered and I’m glad I only got 20 bags because this particular brand tastes kind of weird. I still have some honey so even though that’s a bit fattening, I’ll add some to it.

My new nightgown comes today. It’s a pink floral fleece nightgown similar to the one I got at Goodwill.

When I sat and thought about it, I realized that Jessie is now my longest-running friend. Pretty sure we were both 10 when we met. We’re very different in many ways. She doesn’t agree with abortion. She’s much more mild-mannered and soft-spoken compare to me in some ways. She’s more likely to get scared in situations that would get me pissed off. But she’s never been the selfish judgmental person Andy was, and I do appreciate that much. The only thing I don’t like is the same thing I can complain about with most people I’ve dealt with, and that’s that it was me doing the reconnecting. It was me that looked her up when we lost touch with each other for about a decade or so.

Ah, but things are changing. I’m no longer forgiving compared to most people and I’m not, for example, ever going to contact Christiane again. I have nothing against her personally, but our friendship was just too one-sided. I would only hear from her if I messaged her first. Well, no more of that!

Anyway, Jessie thanked me for her friendship yesterday after I told her I was here for her if she ever needed to chat. She said she wasn’t really sure how she felt at the moment but was going to try to return to work. I guess she still works as an accountant. We don’t talk much given the distance, but Sarah was wrong when she said I no longer had any family. Family, to me, means much more than biology and I can assure you that she and Aly are a lot more like family than my sister and her fucked up brats will ever be.

I swapped emails with Dixie yesterday as well and she told me to recommend one of my books for her to buy. Knowing she’s a bit of a prude, I felt I should warn her that most of my books contain some degree of violence. I suspected that might bother her as well and when I asked her how she felt about it, she said she’s “sick” of violence. Therefore, I told her I didn’t think my books were for her. That’s okay, though, because no one can be everyone’s cup of tea, weird-tasting oolong or not. ;-)

The winds are southerly and again I’m getting a wonderful break from the commercial planes. They were pretty annoying the night before, and I even heard one for the first time just after 4 in the morning. As I may have mentioned before, they’re only a few thousand feet up. It’s sad that some people just don’t give a shit about others, but what can you do?

From the looks of it, I should be able to enjoy tonight and tomorrow morning as well. It’s after 8 now so I expect traffic and landscaping to start up any second.

The dream I had was basically about us going from one rental to another, each one getting noisier. Hopefully, nothing up there is trying to say, “You can move around all you want but you’ll never get any peace.”

I don’t know where we were, but the first place we rented was actually not that bad. It was just a very small, old house. We wanted more space and something newer. The second place was noisy and the third was like OMG! But it’s like it wasn’t even a house or an apartment. Instead, it was almost like we had a room or suite in a building, and we were even on a point system too, like Valleyhead.

I went to bed in the evening. but was woken up by someone blasting their stereo a few hours later. A road of all things ran through the place and one of the staff members told me that it would be repaved between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m., so I knew I wouldn’t be getting any real sleep that night.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2019 Good news! Well, anyone that knows me knows that I hate dieting but love working out. Especially walking. I hate stationary bikes, but most forms of exercise make me feel good and I actually enjoy doing them. The exciting thing is that I started keeping track of what I’ve been eating just out of curiosity to see what the calories happened to total when I’m not actively counting them. In doing so I’ve learned that I can have close to 2,000 calories and not gain weight as long as I keep active. :-) It still would be nice if I could stick to 1200 a day AND get results from it if I ever wanted to lose weight, but neither of these things will happen so it’s good that I can at least eat a comfortable amount which is usually between 1500-2000 calories based on my own specific needs and not gain as long as I keep my butt moving. There are many other health benefits besides just how it affects weight.

Because I’ve been slaving myself so hard and my muscles are still a bit sore, I may end up taking the day off except for dusting the place which I just finished doing.

Despite being fat, I love how prominent my shoulder and arm muscles are as well as my upper abs and parts of my legs. When I’m fully clothed you can’t tell because I still do have a decent amount of fat on me, but seeing it in the mirror when I’m not wearing much is a proud reminder of how hard I’ve worked. I don’t look fantastic, but I’ve definitely seen a lot worse for one my age. :-)

Bananas and blueberries are supposed to be best for boosting energy levels, but I’ve never found them to give me more energy. I think OJ does a much better job of perking me up.

In other good news, I finished my book, The Seduction of Suki, and now the proofreading and editing part begins. This is the part that’s harder than writing the book itself.

The only negative thing to report is that apparently, the winds don’t have to just be flowing to the north for the fucking planes to annoy me. They’ve been heading east all night and I can hear the bastards loud and clear. They have to be heading south and possibly west before they go fly over other people’s heads instead of mine.

I just hope the dream I had doesn’t mean anything. I woke up early in the evening after taking a nap. It was dark and Tom wasn’t home. First the electricity was out and when it came on, I stepped into the master bathroom and found the entire ceiling flooded.

Tom said if that happened that would mean there was a big storm and insurance would pay for it, but I would rather this not happen. Not even a little tiny leak.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2019 Although this new tracker may be more detailed than Fitbit, for me it was a waste of money. For one, it vibrates at random which wakes me up, and I don’t think the step counter is accurate. So I’m not going to bother with it for now.

Last night I did an exercise video that would have been a hell of a lot easier 20 years ago. I struggled through many exercises that would have been much easier when I was lighter. Carrying all this extra weight really limits my physical abilities and makes me feel partially disabled in a way. I try not to let it get to me because I know it’s pointless to get all bothered by what can’t be changed. It’s like with my ear. When it annoys me, I could bitch about it non-stop, but it won’t change a damn thing. Well, neither will all the exercising and dieting in the world change my weight. Not with this bum thyroid and metabolism.

In doing all the research I was doing when my medication was giving me trouble, I learned that I’m far from alone. Many others thought they would lose weight once they began treatment but that’s not usually how it works, so I’ve learned. Age and genetics are still big factors when it comes to stuff like that.

On the positive side, exercise makes me feel better, gives me more energy, helps my joints, is good for my heart, helps prevent diabetes, gives me more endurance, and makes gaining additional weight harder. So it’s not all bad. :-)

He usually does workouts for seniors and I might do that tonight because I’m a little sore today after struggling with yesterday’s workout.

I’ve been totally loving the break from the commercial planes I’ve been getting. When the winds head north as they do most of the time, that’s when they’re a problem. But due to the clouds and rain we’ve been having on and off, the winds have shifted direction and taken the damn planes with them. Still have some small planes and helicopters, though. Not having to have a sound machine on to drown out noise is the way it should be in every home, especially at night! Still need them in the daytime, though, no matter what if I don’t want to hear the daily landscaping sprees, traffic, and whatever projects are going on at the moment.

Might get woken up tomorrow because it’s bulk trash pick-up day. One of the things he put out was a TV he was using as a monitor. The LEDs started going out, leaving dark spots on the screen. He did a factory reset to wipe out any passwords, assuming someone takes it before the trash collectors get it. He didn’t leave the cord or the remote out, though. The remote also works with his current monitor so he wants to keep it as a backup. He left the cord out figuring if someone was going to get something for free, even if it wasn’t in perfect condition, they ought to work for it a bit.

When he got home, he brought a piece of mail from Social Security over to Bob and Virginia that accidentally got put in our box.

Still nothing from the termite which makes me think she lost the address and couldn’t find it online, especially after the way Sarah said she’d send me 80 bucks if I gave her my address, “but I know you won’t.” Just the way she said that made me think they might have lost the address. Why else would you say something like that?

It could also be that the drama queen knows I sometimes pick up the mail and therefore figures her bullshit to him may be intercepted by me. I’ve mentioned picking up the mail numerous times in my journal and saying how I saw so and so along the way or stopped to chat with whoever. She remembers what she wants to remember.

Book sales are down once again and I don’t know if they’re ever going back up. He thinks they will after the first, but I have my doubts. It’s far enough after Thanksgiving and far enough in advance of Christmas that they should still be getting sales and borrows but they’re not.

Had some strange dream that I checked into a hotel. It was nighttime and I was tired. When I entered my room, I found it was occupied even though no one was in it at the time. I went down to the front desk and they didn’t seem to care. It was then that I remembered some reviews I’d read about the place complaining about hookers and how I thought they meant hanging in the area and not occupying people’s rooms. I began to suspect that my roommate was one of those hookers.

The woman at the desk said something about them slipping in and out throughout the night and I knew I couldn’t sleep with some stranger coming and going like that or trust them around my belongings, but I really needed a place to crash for the night. That’s when I decided I would go back up to the room, throw their stuff out, and hook the chain lock on.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2019 Jessie’s dad died today. :-( Having met Big Bird a few times at his Connecticut home through my friendship with Jessie, I can say that he was one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. He will be missed by many!

I’ll never forget the three of us ice skating in the winter on one of his ponds, running around his ballroom while being dazzled by the disco ball twirling in the center of the ceiling, and admiring his huge wall a framed portraits of him and many other celebrities. Not everyone got the honor of getting to go to Big Bird’s house. This was just one of his properties, too.

When chatting with him you would never know who he was, but when he started talking in his Big Bird voice, you knew instantly. His wife Debra was a sweetheart as well.

About 30 years ago he gave me a feather from one of his costumes, but someone stole it. I can’t even begin to guess who because I was a lot more sociable in those days and had so many people in and out of my apartment, but I would put my money on either Fran or Brenda. Unfortunately, I no longer have the picture he took of Jessie and me at his place. There are probably other pictures floating around of both of us and the three of us somewhere, but not in my possession.

Gave Jessie my condolences on Facebook who is definitely sad and possibly quite rich now.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2019 The washer used to play a little song when it would stop or we’d cancel it, but it seems to have stopped doing that for some reason. I still know when a load is done because I can hear the door release pop when it unlocks.

It’s great to know that Ginny’s back to being rented every day, but I’m definitely not going to make the royalties I made last month, thanks to the holidays. Maybe next month.

That’s weird. I looked in on Doc O for the first time in a while and it says she has 11 friends. I’ve got her son blocked but I’m still only seeing 7. Where are the other 3 that I should be able to see?

The fish didn’t bite on the entry I made to see if the termites are reading me. I told people they could ask me questions anonymously on Curious Cat and I may use them whenever I get a writing prompt that doesn’t pertain to me. Next year I’m going to be doing a daily writing prompt challenge, but some of them may not apply to me. I figured that if any of the termites were reading, they would happily let me know it on CC, but I didn’t get a single question, so I deleted the entry.

I was talking with a buddy about how much of an online presence I have and what’s easy to look up and what’s not. Right now I don’t have much of a digital presence other than my books. I can keep from sharing the link but that can’t keep it from being googled. I should have used a pen name but it’s a little late for that. It isn’t just about people getting pissed at me for whatever reason and then running to bash my books, but I also don’t want anyone that we may possibly do business with in the future to be able to learn that much about me personally from my journal. Most of the country supports illegals and believes they should be left alone. ICE is seen as evil as ISIS. I will never understand why what with the proven negative facts of ignoring illegals, and it’s okay if most people disagree with me. That’s not the problem. The problem is if someone learns of my opinion, disagrees with it, and then won’t sell or rent us a place or give him a job because of it. I’m really hoping we can somehow “sample” Florida before we buy a place there to see how it may affect my health in that kind of climate. A few days and even a few weeks may not be enough to tell me. It took six weeks for Simone to get me so I would want to spend a few months there first. If there’s a problem, we’ll likely head back out west to somewhere in New Mexico.

So that’s the basic reason for my becoming more private. What others know may hurt you. If you’re a friend then I don’t care what you learn about me be it through me or because you looked it up, not that everything we look up is accurate.

I swear Aly’s the only one I know that I wouldn’t have to worry about if she lived right next door. Meaning, she could move in one day and decide the next she hated my guts and I’d never have to worry about her messing with me like the termite and its offspring. Thank fucking God we never moved to Stuart!

I’m getting over what I would describe as a very half-assed cold. The day before yesterday I had a scratchy throat and yesterday I was very fatigued. The kind of fatigue associated with a cold. Tom said I felt a bit warm, too. It’s like it barely set in, though. I didn’t have most of the symptoms one usually has with a cold, thanks to my kick-ass immune system.

Today was a beautiful day of 64° but I didn’t get out for a walk. I got up later and had to catch up on things. By then it was windy and threatening to rain. I walked on the treadmill in spurts and did a video. I had no energy to work out yesterday and again I can’t help but feel like something is trying to interfere with me working out though I can’t imagine why if that’s true. I could work out for an hour or two every day, eat next to nothing, and still not lose a pound. It just makes me stronger and gives me more energy and endurance.

As most people do at this time of year, I’ve been eating too much and not nearly as healthy as usual. Although I don’t usually set New Year’s resolutions since very few people can stick to them and these goals can be set any time of the year, and diets don’t do me any good, I am definitely going to make a point of eating more unprocessed foods and less of it, too. Tom isn’t 80 yet. When he hits 80, we’ll only have so many years left and that’s when I’ll just eat whatever whenever. So, 18 more years!

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2019 Having a cold, wet, rainy birthday and not at all happy to have an unlucky 4 in my age once again. Trying not to think of the endless possibilities of what could go wrong over the next year.

At least book sales are back! Well, I actually got a borrow and was relieved to find it was in the UK, making it less likely the drama queen and her twisted offspring are going to bash me again. They’ve read 71 pages so far but it’s past midnight there, so hopefully they’ll continue tomorrow. I found that if they get over 35 pages, they’re likely to read the whole thing.

Since Termite Tammy slammed me, I realize she lied to me all along. She would claim she had no time for reading, which I always thought was a bit odd since she was always a reader. But she proved she not only has KU, but she could have helped promote me all along, even if she didn’t actually read much of my books.

Noticed my tracker wasn’t counting all my steps when I would be on the treadmill with both hands on the tray or walking with my hands in my pockets or carrying something, so I decided to put it around my ankle. So I didn’t spend the first two days as lazy as I thought I did! After all, I did walk a half-hour yesterday even if I didn’t do much else. I was surprised that it can still tell my HR and oxygen levels from my ankle. I’ll still sleep with it on my wrist but it’s definitely more comfortable around my ankle. Imagine if I went out in public with it there? People would wonder if it was one of those ankle monitors parolees wear, LOL. It’s actually more comfortable around my ankle. It irritates the skin on my wrist for some reason.

I took screenshots of the app to show Aly. Personally, I find it to be much more detailed than Fitbit and it syncs so much easier, too. She said she would switch if the Fitbit community and its challenges weren’t so important to her.

Glad to learn Kamala Harris is dropping out of the presidential race. She was too biased. I liked her at first but quickly came to realize she was mostly focused on fellow blacks and not Americans as a whole.

A cyber-friend was saying how we’d get ahead in life if we paid attention to what was going on right in front of us for once instead of obsessing over other countries, and I agree. If an individual wants to support outsiders rather than those in their own backyard - fine - let them. But our tax dollars should go for our own needs. Not those in other countries. Pretty pathetic that we pay taxes for foreigners, illegals, and those in other countries. Meanwhile, who pays us?

I only remember bits and pieces of last night’s dreams which, for the most part, didn’t make sense. But there was an underlying sense of us getting ready to move even if it didn’t look like we were moving from this house. That and the fact that there was some woman who appeared to work for us doing whatever is also a good sign that things may be better financially, not that they’re bad at the moment.

Oh wow. Tom just got home a little while ago and said I must still be psychic because while he didn’t get a raise, his company was sold to a new company that obviously believes there’s a future in it. Also, his name is now known for having a huge part in some huge projects which certainly can’t hurt. I was a little concerned to learn it was an American company that bought it for fear of him losing his European benefits which are way better than American benefits, but he should be grandfathered in. American benefits will probably apply to newbies only.

We didn’t talk long because he had to jump on his work computer for his Wednesday evening work meeting.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2019 So Monday came and went, the day the drama queen sister promised to call the pigs if we didn’t call her by Sunday. Or make that if he didn’t call by Sunday.

Geez, you crazy bitch, I’d say they weren’t so eager to see me after all… IF you really even called them.

As I had told Tom, legal problems were never my concern. I knew I’d done nothing wrong. My concern was her pulling some crazy shit like calling the cops and saying she heard I was going to harm myself or someone else, insisting they get over here quickly, me being asleep when they came to the door, and then them kicking the door down.

But then he reminded me about swatting and how some innocent people got killed over a prank gone wrong, which has made the cops extra cautious when someone demands they go running to someone’s place for some reason.

Had a dream he came home all excited and told me he got a $1 raise. I have a strong feeling that this means something good, too. :-)

All my current devices now have lock screens. It’s so unlikely they’d ever be stolen but one can never be too cautious.

Went through the flower jewelry box that sits on my dresser, organized it and got rid of old shit I haven’t used in years and likely never will again.

I was deciding whether or not to finish my story, due to the lack of sales causing my motivation to drop, and the fact that it’s going to be pretty short. A little too short. Then an idea hit me. Instead of not bothering to publish the handful of short stories I have, maybe I can publish them as a collection. It’s something I’ll have to think about. Then again, I just checked and Kinky Katrina is published by itself with 30 pages while Suki’s story has already beaten that by two pages and isn’t even done.

My legs are still sore, so no vids for me today either, but I’ll go hit the treadmill now.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2019 OK, maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist leaving the following in public on PB. Will sister dearest and her crazy brood see it? Hmm…no clue to be honest.

I didn’t actually listen to them, but I read the transcripts from some pretty vicious voice messages I received, and even with the errors in them, I got the gist of what was being said. There were no transcripts or audio for the restricted calls before I blocked those.

LMAO at the thought of recording some threatening voice messages I still have on my phone and sharing them on Facebook and elsewhere. I’ll leave that as a last resort for now as I prefer to act my age and not go on some vindictive rampage simply because someone said something that pissed me off that I didn’t want to hear. I’ve moved on. If they haven’t, that’s on them. It’s OK to be angry. It’s OK to disagree. It’s not OK to stalk, harass and threaten. These narcissistic, vengeful lunatics I never should have allowed back into my life don’t get that, though.

Unless provoked into action, I prefer to be the mature one and just not have anything to do with those I don’t get along with. But what I actually do depends on them. If they give me peace, they’ll get peace in return.

Kinda funny that they think I’m dumb enough to be convinced that IF they went to the cops, the cops would wait to see if I contact them as they demanded. If I’d broken any laws, they’d tell them to stay out of it, let them take over, and they’d have contacted me by now if they thought they had a case against me. And all because of the record they think I have that I, in fact, don’t what with the prank phone calls from a million years ago in MA being expunged and me being vindicated 20 years ago in AZ.

Furthermore, statements are rarely given over the phone. Occasionally, video statements will be made but that’s usually reserved for minors involved in sex cases. If they thought I would fall for that one, then that shows they’re even dumber than I gave them credit for.

And why the obsession with reaching my husband? Did they think we don’t keep each other informed on what’s going on? Did they think he would believe their lies and side with them?

Funny how they say I didn’t have the balls to call back when the reason I didn’t was that there was nothing more to say. I’d gotten some things off my chest, shared my feelings, said I didn’t want to go back and forth, that this would be it, and I kept my word. What would have been the point in arguing until we were blue in the face when we could never see eye-to-eye? Don’t we all have better things to do?

Yeah, time for them to grow up, wake up, and smarten up, I would think. I’m smarter than any of them will ever be, and when I don’t know something off the top of my head, well, Google’s a wonderful thing. But hey, these are people who can barely even write. Their spelling, grammar and improper use of punctuation are ferocious.

Holding onto so much hate and anger only reflects badly on them and is detrimental to their health and psyche, but again, it’s on them. I knew these people were aggressive, had tempers, and were overly sensitive, emotional and vindictive. Hell, one even tried to enlist us to spite their own kid by finding their workplace to report them for what they believed was an abuse of Worker’s Comp. But I didn’t know they were literally crazy till recently. The sudden and surprise reference to porn told me that. Did they pull that out of thin air in the heat of the moment because they were pissed? Or did they get this idea from someone else?

This should have been a real eye-opener for me as well as what was done to me. How I didn’t see things clearly a long time ago is beyond me. Maybe I just didn’t want to. They have no resources, they have no money, they have no health, and sadly, they have no life.

They lose. I win. None of them will ever contact me again (and if they do any and all contact will be logged as evidence along with the fact that I had to change my number due to the harassment and threats) because they’re not welcomed in my life now or in the future and they will never be mentioned here again. I won’t wish them good luck. I won’t wish them bad luck. Why? Because I’ve become as indifferent to them as I am to some stranger in the next town I don’t even know. I don’t even feel the shame and embarrassment I have felt for them. I’ve gone numb. And now they shall all be filed nice and neatly in the past chapters of my life, stored as nothing but an unpleasant memory and never allowed to re-enter my life ever again.

Tata!

It’s the middle of the afternoon yet it looks like dawn or twilight. It’s been very cold, cloudy and wet these last few days. I’m so tired today even though my tracker says I slept well and for my usual 8 hours.

However, it wasn’t without a nightmare. The nightmare didn’t cause me to be worried about anything going wrong in my life because of the nature of it. I was in a darkened house with some woman when I heard these strange sounds and was terrified. I called out to the woman, but she didn’t answer and I feared the worst. I jumped up and ran to her bedroom and found her lying on her back as still and silent as a log. I screamed her name, whatever that was, and slapped at her, but I knew she was dead.

Like I said, the two most important things are this… I did nothing wrong and I refuse to be anyone’s victim ever again. You can hate me all you want, and you can be pissed as hell and disagree with everything I ever said, thought or believed. But you cannot and will not victimize me.

Tammy knows exactly how I feel about the police and how I’ve come to have little trust and faith in them not just because of what happened to me but because of so many other cases I’ve heard about involving corruption and brutality. She used legal threats as a weapon against me simply because she was pissed off by my group message. The goal was to scare me into calling so she could let me have it or at least cry on his shoulder. Regardless, my message was perfectly legal and I had every right to send it. If we couldn’t say anything anyone perceived as negative, then leaving bad reviews on Yelp would be illegal.

What I don’t get is her obsession to reach Tom. Everyone wants to get a hold of Tom when they get pissed at his wife, LOL. The psycho that sold us the previous round of rats was determined to reach out to him as well. I think it’s just because he’s so easygoing and soft-spoken that he comes across as easy to persuade into siding with them.

When Tom made the mistake of calling Tammy 20 years ago when she sent him a letter threatening legal action against me for threatening her abusive ex, he probably didn’t say much knowing him, thus giving her the wrong idea. All he told me was that he told her we shouldn’t have anything to do with each other. I’m sure he said that, but he probably came off as if he was on her side as opposed to defending me because that’s just the way he is.

Even though she gave me “permission” to be on the line when they spoke (by yesterday as she promised), she probably believes he doesn’t know what’s going on and that when she fills him in, he’ll automatically believe her bullshit version and somehow be turned against me.

Yeah, that’s going to happen really easily after being together for more than a quarter of a century.

But what about her husband? Does he know what’s going on? Does he encourage or at least support her trolling and threatening me if he does? Or does he try to encourage her to move on?

When I was on the treadmill, I forgot to let my left arm dangle while I worked the mouse with my right hand and that may have caused it not to count all my steps. I put it on my ankle during my last walk and it counted them that time. Definitely not going to get 10,000 steps in today any more than I did yesterday. I just don’t have the energy. I’ll walk on my treadmill for a half-hour, but I’m definitely going to skip doing a workout video because the backs of my thighs are sore from yesterday’s video. I’ll just work my core a bit to keep the backaches away.

I’m both cold and tired today. A combination of the weather and low thyroid, I suppose. I’ll take full doses every day just as soon as something up there will let me. Until it gets sick of getting off on the anxiety games and actually wanting me to be low on thyroid, this is the way it has to be. If there’s nothing up there that’s got a hand in this, then I guess all I can do is hope I one day happen to be able to take full doses every day without anxiety. I think it’s unlikely I ever will, though. Tom thinks I will, but I think that if there’s truly something in the medication making me feel anxious, as there certainly seems to be, why would I ever get used to it if I haven’t yet? Not all side effects go away. So whatever is in it that makes me anxious is likely to always do so when the levels get high enough in my system.

Book sales are down. It’s almost as if the drama queen’s review still remains visible to everyone but me. I really hope last month wasn’t just a fluke and that I’m back to sales and borrows real soon.

Been watching The First 48 Hours Presents: Homicide Squad Atlanta and what a scummy city. One thug was dumb enough to commit murder where there were cameras everywhere. He slammed some girl against the wall and started punching her and then you could see her fight back. I don’t know if the guy underestimated her or what but when he realized he was going to lose the fight, he whipped out a gun and shot her dead in cold blood.

I was going to post this a few hours ago but got sidetracked. When he got in, we ran out to Rite Aid. I hadn’t been having much fruit lately and was craving OJ. I have the chills and felt run down in a way that one with a cold does, but I don’t feel like I have a cold. I have a pretty kick-ass immune system and rarely get sick. I think I was just feeling that way due to not eating very healthily over our mini-vacation.

I’m on my third serving of OJ right now. I wouldn’t let myself get any sweets because I don’t want to be sugar crashing, but I got some gum and chips. Baked lentil chips with less sodium are actually pretty good.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2019 Things are going great and Winnie is now just about completely configured and set up. There are only one or two features I’m missing that I’m unable to have on it. I’m getting the hang of how it works and used to things. There are some features I actually like better.

They said this computer came with Wi-Fi, but it didn’t. We decided it wasn’t worth sending back because we wanted a faster one than what it was supposed to come with anyway, so we ordered one. Some sites naturally run slow and there’s not much you can do about that, but it is much perkier in general. I can now enter tons of sweeps much faster than I could on the Mac. I entered about 50 sweeps last night that was about to expire. Things are definitely much snappier!

Although Netflix has a convenient app on this computer, so you don’t have to watch in a browser, we’re probably going to dump Netflix for a while and just keep Hulu a little longer. Everything is foreign stuff or documentaries/reality shows and it gets old.

Barely two days with an easier setup for working out and just what I feared would happen ended up happening yesterday. Some asshole crashed over the speed bump at 6 in the morning which left me with just 5 hours of sleep and too tired to work out. I would have slept two or three more hours. I slept nearly twice as long last night to make up for it and definitely have more energy today.

Didn’t hear the loud car yesterday but I heard it the day before. On Friday, the fire and water damage people were working on Lawrence’s place again, but it was just one van that day and it was in front of his place. Not between our places. As Tom pointed out and as I should have realized, he doesn’t have a leaky roof otherwise they would replace the roof before fixing the water damage. It was probably a pipe that broke and leaked.

It’s been cold and wet, but I love the sound of the rain and how quiet it keeps things.

Our new fitness trackers came yesterday, and they seem to work well and be quite informative compared to Fitbit except for when it comes to the blood pressure checker. That much is pretty worthless without being able to squeeze the arm or wrist. Trust me, I don’t have perfect blood pressure!

His is a bit defective and has trouble connecting to the mobile app. I tease him about the reason being that there’s a 4 in his device number.

We were laughing because of the different terms for the different weight levels. I’m a plumpy and he’s a fatty. I know some people would get offended by these terms but we’re okay with them because no matter what labels you may put on things, the same shit is always going to be underneath no matter what.

Because I couldn’t lose weight even if you starved me, my only real goal is to not gain anymore and so far I’m holding steady as long as I keep active. I’m at the point in life where weight loss isn’t my goal as opposed to keeping active and as healthy as possible. If I eat healthy at least 80% of the time, that’s good enough for me.

The thing has a step counter and a calorie tracker, but the calorie tracker works differently than Fitbit. This one records what you burn during activity rather than as a whole.

It also has an ECG, oxygen reader and different timers. It looks for sleep apnea as well, which neither of us has. I told it to share my health info with WhatsApp and Facebook, but I don’t see anything there.

Today we worked out together and I was on the treadmill for a while as well. The highest my HR went was 120 but I’ve only done low-impact stuff so far today.

I slept “very good” and deeply for 6 of the 9 hours I slept.

We’re going to wait until Monday to order, just in case there are any deals that day we want to take advantage of, but we’re getting these shoelaces that snap rather than tie. I’m not sure how they work until we actually get them, but they look cool and come with 4 pairs. He can have the gray and black and I’ll take the pink and green laces for my two pairs of running shoes.

I keep forgetting that Prosebox isn’t all or nothing. I can choose to set each individual entry at different security levels. So I decided to keep my old friends updated there from time to time but I can’t allow for comments because there are too many spammers about these days on seemingly every site in the world. Only generic stuff will be mentioned, of course. I coded the entries with trackers to see if it picks up any termites, but just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there.

My nails are back to looking shitty and I still can’t figure out why. As my doctor verified, it doesn’t appear to be any kind of fungus or infection, but it does get worse the more I polish my nails. The question is why now? I’ve been obsessed with polishing my nails all my life. I also have one nail that appears to be lifting from the nailbed. He’s had that before, too.

[mint-moon25]

AI Overview

Amazon acquired Whole Foods Market on August 28, 2017 for $13.7 billion. The deal was announced on August 24, 2017. 

The acquisition marked Amazon's entry into the physical grocery market. Amazon has since made changes to its logistics, including:

Off the shelf (OTS): Software that allows for quicker item transitions

Daymon: A retail strategy firm that handles inventory and in-store displays

Prime Now: Amazon's delivery service that offers two-hour delivery for orders of $35 or more  

Whole Foods was facing financial trouble before the acquisition, with same-store sales declining 1.5% in 2017. The grocery chain was also behind its competitors in technology and loyalty program development. 

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AMAZON - THANKS - 2 - HUB LOCKERS - USA

MAKES - DAILY - OVER - $1.29 BILLION TAXED

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25 AND OLDER - 2 - RENT - A - CAR

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FL - NAME - CHANGE - $409

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LATE - FEE - $10

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PAULINA PORIZKOVA - WHEN - SHE - WANTED

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WATCH - 2 - DISAPPEAR - OR - RINGS - THEIR

VEHICLES - THE - US TREASURY - GETS - THE

FINANCIAL - WORTH - OF - THEIR - CARS

POLICE

SHERIFFS

NOT - CONSTITUTIONAL - NOT - PROTECTED

BY - AMENDMENTS - THIEVES - MURDERERS

14TH

NO - US STATE - CAN - CREATE - OR - MAKE

LAWS - 2 - END - THE - PRIVILEGES - OF ITS

CITIZENS

NO - US STATE - CAN - DEPRIVE - A - PERSON

OF - PROPERTY - JOANA - CAMILLUS - HOUSE

HISPANIC - NURSE - AND - MALE - MARRIED

PSYCHIATRIST - TOOK - ALL - MY - THINGS AND

PURSE - WALKING - STICK - 2 - CAMILLUS

HOUSE - BUS 77 - BUS 21 - THAT - NEVER - STICK

2 - SCHEDULE - METRORAIL - BETTER - EXIT

CULMER - L - L - LEFT - VISIBLE - 2 R - IS - THE

CAMILLUS HOUSE

HOW - THEY - GET - MANY - CLOTHES - 2 - GIVE

SHOWERERS - WITH - CAMILLUS HOUSE - ID

FREE - DRINK - FREE - SHIRT - WHERE - THEY

GET - CLOTHES

THOSE - GOING - 2 - LOW INCOME - APTS BLDGS

NOT - LOONIE - HOUSE - HUDS - WHICH - IS - NOT

LEGAL - BOTH - PLACES - HAVE - SAME - YES

INSTRUCTION - CALL - 555 - IF - THIS - IS - AN

EMERGENCY - HOW - STUPID - THEIR - TENANTS

AND - THAT - IS - NOT - THE - TEL - NO

CALL - OR - TEXT 988

FAINTING

HARD - TIME - BREATHING

MORE

SESSIONM - ENDING SOON

[whatdoyougetwhenyou]

What do you get when....

What do you get when you move one Army soldier, his Wife, two kids, and three dogs onto Army base housing?  One Army soldier, who is never home even on his days off, because he has to do something for the company or something.  One mom who is tired all the time, because she now has the job of making sure the house is clean at all times, the kids are fed and the oldest one is getting homework done and doing good in school, school drop off line and the pick up line, all the things you have to have ready to go at any moment for not only the two kids but for the husband as well. Oh, but let's not forget the dogs.  Yes, the two huskies and the one great pyrenees puppy.  Seems like they have to pee or poop every time you turn around.  

   This is the start of the What do you get when... 

     Let's start this off with more of a get to knowing this crazy thing of chaos known as my day to day life. I am a stay at home mom and wife of an active duty soldier and two wonderful kids.  One headed for his terrible twos at only 15 months old and one who is lucky if she makes it to see her teen years with the way her preteen attitude has been of late.  Then comes the dogs,  I love these 3 big lovable lugs.  We have my baby boy as a 77 lb male Husky and boy is he a momma's boy.  He waits for the very sec for my husband to stand up and is no longer on the bed at all before springing up from his own 80 dollar bed to lay in his daddies spot.  He even goes so far as to make sure my husband has no chance of coming back to the spot where he was once laying.  Lets not forget he is a husky so the back talk is strong in this one.  Have you ever heard of a husky fit?  Well this boy knows how to throw a proper one.  When the water or food bowls are empty, he lets it be known but takes his massive paw and flips them over and then waits. If you do not jump right up and answer his demand for service, he requests to see a manager.  This bullhead man is also one that questions why we have baby gates.  He has figured out that if he pushes just hard enough he can pop the lock on the gate and walk right through, all the while giving you a look like "What?".   

 Then we have our female husky, we ain't quite sure what is wrong with her, but pretty sure its drugs at this point.  She sleeps in only two positions and that is curled up in a ball and making herself as small as possible or on her back with all four legs and paw in the air.  All of this of course is after she has had the husky zoom zoomies for the past 3 hours.  She can leap the baby gates like they are nothing, making me question why we even have them (more on that later). She is the one out of the three that we like to call crackhead. 

  Last but by all means not the least we have the male great pyrenees,  he was mislabeled as a husky by the shelter so my wonderful husband thought "Great we will be a husky household!".  Sure, Honey let's be the household that owns the most vocal and back talking breed there is. That sounds like such a great idea. Well... the tall pure white beast that is walking my husband through the front door is not the white husky the shelter or my husband thought, but instead a great pyrenees PUPPY.  Yes, you heard that right, He is a puppy.  He even still has the puppy bark and puppy energy to match. He and the female get along great.  They both crack head moment out and then crash and sleep but not before pissing my male husky off to no end because well they can and do. 

 Now, moving back to the kids.  The ones without fur and tails.  The young boy is pushing his luck with his daddy.  He will be two this year and oh boy is he letting it be known.  He eats me out of house and home. He does the back talk to offer his opinion, even though no one in the house understands him.  He then gives you the look like "Really, come on people."  He wakes everyone in the house with the cry outs, you walk into his room to find him standing with, you guessed it NOTHING on.  I'm talking all bare ass.  As my husband said, "He did half the job of getting up and ready for ya."  My husband is so funny, NOT.  

 What is there to say about our ten year old?  Well let's start with the sass that pours from this little one's mouth is the reason her future is not promised.  Now, before you all finish that call to CPS or DFS (whatever they are called where you're at) she is in no way in real harm's way.  It is something that is said.  I don't know one parent that hasn't said things like "Keep it up and you wont see tomorrow".  Moving on,  she is in this preteen stage of not cleaning her room or just doing whatever she wants because well she is she and that's good enough.  

  Now for the active duty Soldier.  He can be funny and he can be sweet.  He can be an asshole and a down right jerk.  He is overworked, over stressed and very much underpaid. He puts up with so much that once he is home he doesn't want to do much.  His body hurts and his mind is mush.  He does have moments when he is the little grumpy ass that needs to go down for a nap.  Do any of us really get out of that stage? He is always being called in on his days off to come in for something that could have taken a phone call or a text to handle.  Nope needs to be in person, yet the command seems to use the group text all the other times. 

So I ask again: What do you get when you  move one Army soldier, his Wife, two kids, and three dogs onto an Army base housing?

 CHAOS

[official-rolli-und-rita]

hey, you posted brioche you made a while ago, do you maybe have the recipe for that? no worries if not or you dont feel like copying it!

Yes of course! I used this french recipe, which i will translate bc i don't think i have that many french followers lol. (also to my non-metric followers here are converters for ml/oz and g/lbs, hope this helps)

Also quick disclaimer: Hervé (who made this recipe) mentions a kitchen aid machine, which i don't have, and as a result ended up almost making my shitty 14.99€ hand mixer from Rossmann catch fire. i had to take a 30s break every minute so it would stop smoking and making a weird noise. it took me a very long time to knead it and i wasn't super happy with the results, but i think that was just my fault bc i know for a fact that Hervé's recipes are on point. i'm done talking now here's the recipe

Ingredients: 500g flour, 200ml milk, 80g of butter, 80g of sugar, 1/2 tsp salt, 20g fresh baker's yeast or 10g dry baker's yeast, 2 tbsp. tablespoon orange blossom water*, 2 eggs + 1 for the glaze

Recipe: Whisk together milk, sugar, salt, 2 whole eggs at room temp, then add the orange blossom and the flour and start kneading until it's combined (doesn't have to be very long). Now add your yeast**. whisk for 6-7 minutes on low (a setting which my mixer doesn't have lol), and then continue on a high setting for 5 minutes. add your butter (room temp, cut up into smaller pieces), and keep whisking for 8 minutes. you can see why Hervé uses a kitchen aid. this recipe will cost you your arm but it will be worth it. Unstick the dough from the sides of the bowl and let it rise for at least 1 hour. when it's done, punch out the air and put the dough on your work surface. cut into three identical long pieces and braid them. i did not do this. i was tired and my dough was too sticky. but i will try to do it properly next time. put your braid into your loaf pan and let it rise for another 45 minutes***. Preheat your oven to 180ºC (356ºF, 453.15ºK, 815.67ºR), brush the top of your brioche with a beaten egg and a bit of salt. bake for 25 minutes, and let cool. then eat!

*i'm gonna be real with you, i have no idea what "orange blossom water" is, and i know i probably can't get it where i live, so i just skipped it. didn't even substitute it w anything. i'm wild like that. do whatever you want. cheers.

**idk why the yeast is added so late, that really confused me, but every brioche recipe i could find said to do this. also i recommend granulating it if you're using fresh yeast, that will make it much quicker and smoother

***the recipe does not say to use butter or baking paper in your pan, but i recommend baking paper, as it might be difficult to remove your brioche after baking

ok WOW this post has been in my drafts for like a year and my ahdh ass didn't get around to finish writing it bc i think i wanted to proofread it fist??? so i'm just going to post it now and if you have any questions feel free to ask! (although i might not know the answer bc it's been so long that i forgot how to make brioche) <3

so sorry lol hope you're still interested in the recipe!

(also i did end up finding orange blossom water recently, but i haven't used it yet)

[mint-moon25]

MAIN - LIBRARY - HAS - HACKERS - ATTACKING

MIAMI - POLICE - IN HOUSE - ARMED SERVANTS

OF - FLORIDA - 27TH - STATE - 14TH - VIOLATED

‘NO - US - STATE - CAN - DEPRIVE - OR - DENY

ANY - PERSON - OF - LIFE - OR - LIBERTY’ - THE

RIGHT - 2 - SLEEP - EAT - DRINK - IN - PUBLIC

PLACES - PAID - BY - FEDERAL - TAX - LIKE THE

MAIN - LIBRARY - $500,000 - MAX - FINE - AND OR

IMPRISONMENT - PER - INCIDENT - EACH - DAY

THEY’VE - BEEN - OPEN - 4 - BUSINESS

NOW - NO - LATE - FEES - BUT - WASN’T

LIKE - THAT - EXTENDED - MY - REGULAR BOOK

NICHOLAS SPARKS - ‘THE - NOTEBOOK’ - FROM

16 DECEMBER - 2 - 16 JAN 2024 - HAD - 2 - YES

RETURN - MY - LARGE - PRINT - EDITION - GOT

3 BOOKS - 4 - THANKSGIVING - WEEK - BUT DID

NOT - READY - ANY - SO - MANY - ILLEGAL ACTS

THAT - AFFECTED - ME - BUT - LOVING - THE

REMOVAL - OF - TENT - WEEKDAYS - LOVING

THAT - MORE - AND - MORE - MY - TENT - HAS

BEEN - RESPONDING - 2 - MY - TOUCH - I’VE

BEEN - USING - 2 ROPES - 2 - GO - 2 - THE

MIDDLE - HOLE - 2 - KEEP - NEAR - 4 - THE

STRONGEST - WINDS - AS - COUNTY - EMPLOYEES

TRIED - 2 - PUT - ME - INSIDE - MY - $799.99 - TENT

PLANNED - ON - PUTTING - ME - SIDEWAYS - OF THE

FENCE - SO - BIKINI - GIRLS - CAN - WALK - BY - SO

$25 - $45 - CONSTRUCTION - MALE - WORKERS CAN

AND - BIKERS - CAN - WALK - ON - SIDEWALKS - YES

SOLELY - FR - 5:40A - MONDAYS - 2 - FRIDAYS - THUS

2 - GET - OUT - SMALL - COMBAT - KNIFE

COUNTY - HISPANICS - AND - BLKS - THEY - BROKE

2 - POLES - LONG - LENGTH - BOTH - SIDES - THEY

KNOW - AMAZON - PRIME - OVER - $17 - FOR - YES

ONLY - 17 FEET - TENTS - THE - POLES - 2 - REPLACE

BUT - HUMAN - STRENGTH - THE - BOTTOMS - COME

100 MPH - OR - 200 MPH - HURRICANE - WINDS - AS

THE - TENT - UNRAVELS - WHEN - I - WAS - USING

BLK - CLAMPS - LOVE - 500 LBS - CARRIER - AND

6 WHEELS - THE - SECRET - BUT - EXTREMELY

LOUD - AT - TILES - OF - MAIN LIBRARY - AS - I

WALK - SLOW - NO - SOUND - CARPETS - INSIDE

MY - EBT - FOOD - STAMPS - TOMORROW - $76

AS - HOMELESS - 22NDs - FROM - 12THs - AND

$15 - MOSTLY - OVER - 8 YEARS - JUST - THAT

$76 - FR - DEMOCRAT - PRESIDENT - JOE BIDEN

WAS - $46 - FR - MEMORY - FR - OVER - $278 - AT

LEAST - HOMELESS - IN - MIAMI - NICE - EBT $$$

HACKERS - AT - MAIN - LIBRARY

SWITCH - 2 - BRAVE - BROWSER - FREE

MY - DEFAULT - THE - BEAUTIFUL - THEME

PURPLES - AT - TOP - MOZILLA - FIREFOX

FASTEST - PRETTIEST - BLOCKS - ADS 2

THE - NEW - FIREFOX - PLUS FREE APP

BRAVE - NOW - SLOWER - BUT - NOW I

AM - USING - WHILE - HACKER - ON THE

LOOSE - AT - MAIN - LIBRARY - A - BLK 

MALE - NOT - HISPANIC - CAN’T - BE 4

SMART - REQUIRED - HISPANICS ARE

NOT - THAT - SMART - SINCE - PRINCE

WILLIAM - THE - SMARTEST - OF THE

BRITISH - ROYALTY - THAT’s NOT YES

GOOD - I’M - MORE - INTELLIGENT THAN

HIM - THEN - MY - LIGHTNING - BRAIN 2

NOW - BOOST - INFINITE - USING

DOWNLOADS - OVER - 90 MBPS

SO - LIKE - THEY - CUT - ME OUT

COUNTY - KEPT - PUTTING - MY - TENT

ON - SIDES - THAT - THEY - SPLIT - TWO

POLES - MAJOR

GETTING - ORANGE - POP - UP - FOR

MIAMI - FLORIDA - NEEDS - POP - UP

TENT - BECAUSE - 75 MPH - WINDS R

SO - STRONG - TOSSING - UP - WHILE

HOLDING - IT - IS - BEST - THEN - YOU

TIE - THEM - UP - U - ONLY - NEED

YOURSELVES - DIY - WOMEN YES

THUS - LEAVING - IN - 1 HOUR FOR

THURSDAYS - 5P EST - B 4 - CHRISTMAS

IMPORTANT - THEIR - GIFTS - ALSO YES

SO - LEAVING - AT - 3:30P - WHILE - I’M

PUTTING - ALL - INSIDE - THEN AFTER

GOING - 2 - LA FITNESS - U - MUST

CONTINUE - TREADMILL - DANCE - WITH

ITZY - AESPA - LEILAH ISAAC - WORKOUT

WITH - BELLY - DANCE - AND - CHRISTA’s

CARDIO - BOXING - WITH - ELEVATED YES

TREADMILL - IT - WILL - CHANGE - YOUR

BODY - TEMPERATURES - WEARING MY

JEANS - SHORTS - WHILE - ALL - ARE FL

VISIBLY - FREEZING

ANIMATED - WEATHER - GETTING - THE

$9.99 - FOR - A - LIFETIME

THEN - REAL - TEMPERATURES

REAL - WINDS - MPH - BECAUSE

FREE - VERSION - SO - PEOPLE - WON’T

B - SCARED - 2 - GO - OUT - THEY - WILL

NOT - FEAR - THE - REAL - WEATHER IN

HURRICANE - STATES - THUS - WILL BE

LOOKING - 4 - ONE - MORE - LIBRARIAN

1 MORE - CHRISTMAS - GIFT

LOTTE - PINK - HELLO KITTY

CHOCOLATE - LOTTE PIE - SO - GOOD

12 - INDIVIDUALLY - WRAPPED COOKIES

ATE 2 - SO - GOOD - PLACED - IN - PINK

THE - SEE - THRU - BAGS - LIKE - FOUND

IN - WEDDINGS - WITH - MARSHMALLOW

FLAVORED - CHOCOLATE - COATED PIE

PINK - BOX - KEEPING - 4 - YEARS - GOT

AT - ROSS - DRESS - FOR - LESS

$4.99 - ADD - TAX - 7%

TUESDAYS - 55 AND OLDER - 10% - OFF

FLORIDA - OTHERS - IDENTIFICATION

CARD - CAMILLUS HOUSE - MAILING

ADDRESS - JESUS - IS - LORD

AGAIN - HAPPY HANUKKAH - JONGHYUN

SEASON’s - GREETINGS - SOUTH KOREA

[thebartleyeffect]

I remember being in first grade and being bored out of my mind after returning to class from lunch.

I was staring out the window, admiring the changing colors of the leaves on the trees, while Miss Brinkerhoff droned at the chalkboard.

I raised my hand.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff.

"Can we go home now?", I asked, the boredom and impatience unmistakable in my little first grade voice.

"Not until 3:00", she replied, turning back to the chalkboard.

I looked at the clock; I may as well have been looking at a hieroglyph, for I had not yet learned how to tell time.

My hand went up again.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff, more as a sigh than a question.

"Can we go home NOW?" I asked her hopefully, for when you can't tell time, you also have no SENSE of time, so it may as well have been an hour since I asked her last, even though maybe just six minutes had gone by at this point.

"Not until 3:00", she replied once more, certain now that the matter had been settled once and for all, but I wasn't done yet.

"How do I know when it's 3:00?", I asked her, with a genuine desire to know.

This time she paused, and pointed at the clock on the wall: "When the big hand is on the 12...

...and the little hand is on the three."

The matter finally settled, she turned back to the blackboard and continued her scrawling.

"Cool!", I thought to myself. I finally got the information I need so that I can bolt the fuck outta this place the minute 3:00 rolls around.

Miss Brinkerhoff continued her efforts at the blackboard while the rest of the class looked on.

Well, everybody except me, because my eyes were glued to that fucking clock. It was probably 1:30 when this all took place, but the physical distance between the one and the three on the clock face was measured in mere inches, so how long could it take? I reasoned.

Yep, any minute now...

The clock clicked and the big hand jerked momentarily backwards and paused for what seemed like an eternity. Miss Brinkerhoff's voice was, by now, like a far-off echo somewhere in a deep, dark cave and the birds in the trees outside all went silent while we collectively waited to see what the big hand on the clock would do next.

The suspense was agonizing. I slid my left foot forward, just so I could be the first one out the door and onto the school bus that was, certainly by now, waiting patiently outside for us.

And just like that, the big hand jerked forward by one full minute. The hour hand remained stubbornly in place, trapped somewhere between the one and the two on the clock face.

The process repeated a minute later and that's when the sinking sense of realization settled in and I began to think that maybe this whole thing called "school" might be a whole lot bigger than I realized.

My hand went up for a third time.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff, clearly annoyed and almost out of patience at this point.

"How many more years do we have to go to school?", I asked, optimistic that the answer might be somewhere around another year, maybe two.

"Twelve", she replied, turning back to the blackboard for the final time.

I sank into my chair, the weight of 100 lb anvil on my chest. I felt like I had just been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

I don't remember a thing from the rest of that day. The clock on the wall continued its minute-by-minute ticking, but by now it was irrelevant to me. Nothing else mattered. Forget about the remaining two hours of the afternoon, the next twelve years of my life had been just pulled out from under me and I realized that my life, carefree as it had been up until the arrival of this bright September morning, was no longer my own, but instead now belonged to The Massachusetts Board of Education, which would dispassionately rule the next twelve years of my life, governing everything from what time I would wake up in the morning to how late I would stay up studying for the following morning.

It was all too much for a naive first grader to process and so I just sat there, alone in my thoughts while surrounded by a gaggle of little kids like me whose names I didn't even yet know.

I could not have known it at the time, but I had just been presented with my first rock, the first of several rocks that I would receive throughout my lifetime, to push up a series of never-ending hills.

🪨

[the-firebird69]

And yes sir more things happening and it's a funny day for me somebody went by and had fly like a butterfly or float like a butterfly sting like a bee and he's like 300 lb so my husband said felt like an anchor and sting like an anchor and the guy is still laughing

The brakes truck driver's laughing and he said it brings armored car behind him

-there's a few more things going on the bus is late so he's waiting and people get nervous and he does it's been a while and standing up and standing up past few days but there are a number of people who have warrants on them and they just sit there and look at it this is the assholes right there and he has stuff right now they're going through his stuff it's in Florida all of it and they're pulling it out and it's a lot of stuff it's a heinous amount of stuff it's here but they are at it and they were allergic to it last night by their own they said if it hits the fan at all we're doomed so they're going through it and they're disabling it some of the rearing but they said most of it's no good we'd have to look at every single part and it just takes way too much time so they're going to probably melt it all down and start over and it doesn't it's not enough time to do anything with it but that's what they're doing they're taking the teeth out of it here and it's pretty smart couple more items

-the bus is late but okay that's not an item and they are using all sorts of things to distract my husband from basic necessity work it's extremely vulgar very angry and hateful and it is the morlock and they're going to turn it up tonight they said so we need to get in there and we need to turn it up on them and I don't find any reason not to it would curtail their activities rapidly and we need to we need to get a winning truck that makes sense this is going to be very big

-is several other things happening that are unacceptable here they treat him like a popper and very mean and end up seeing ways and deleterious okay it's not helping you don't seem to care and they don't know what he can do it's been going on for years just absolutely negative treatment and they're going to behavior from the top all the way down and it's a worry because they don't have much of it right and they never do and their game is horribly horribly awful and the Mac game is horribly good and we're worried about the transition and we need a lot of help on it from our mothers and fathers who are from foreign descent or who are foreigners and everybody's descended from them and we need it now

We're going to publish and take a break I'll be back you might be an hour because he's going to keep his phone charged in case

Hera

You see his worried and the bus is only like 5 minutes late but usually it's earlier and we know where it is and it should be there on time it doesn't hurt to call we will help and there's a lot of people trying to get it there it's a rough day there's a lot of traffic in town far more than normal is a huge traffic jam this morning to get to the mall and there's a bunch of people bothering him Non-Stop and nobody stops them and it's terrible but they still have the armies and their mysteries okay they these people are losers and we don't want to have him get hurt or worse so we're moving in now

Thor Freya

We have a huge agenda and it's going to start here and we are filling in the blanks for these people they're starting their asinine threats up and we're going to curtail them and tell them to shove it and we're doing it right

Olympus

[yoonqua]

uno.

Tales of LB and CN (ATZ Version)

choi san x reader \\ 12k words \\ oct 6 2022

Muffins and Best friends

9:46 am

This sucks. Ever since opening the tiny little box that mysteriously appeared in your room, your life has gone to absolute shit. Sleeping late into the afternoon is basically unheard of; you constantly have to be alert in case fucking Hawkmoth decides to be a bitch and ruin everyone’s day. And the thing is–it isn’t even THEIR fault. If only Mr. Choi wasn’t an evil mastermind. Hmm. A back-up ladybug would be cool. You’d have more free time. Could sleep  in. Help your aunt at the bakery…

You groan while grabbing the roots of your hair and dragging your hands down your face, causing your skin to droop alongside your fingers. You can’t do that. What if the other Ladybug turns into an evil twin…thing. 

You never asked for this. You’re only half complaining–hell you deserve to complain 100%. Some people were idiots. HAWKMOTH is an idiot. Superhero-ing is cool and all; you swing around like Spiderman  and your magical ladybugs rival Tony Stark's technology in cleaning up after fights. You had some battles handed to you for sure, but it gets very tiring having to fight the Pigeon man 53 times. When a civilian gets akumatized that often– it just feels like the people aren’t really safe. 

There’s just not much you can do, some people are just dumb enough to let that bastard shit head take control–is what you tell yourself to keep yourself from giving up. Just keep going. Walking to survey the area. Running after villains. Swinging by. Fighting. Punching. Thinking. De-evilizing. Hiding. Man, you are tired.

“You look half dead,” states your very best friend in the best, nicest, and welcoming voice ever. In response, you stick up your middle finger, almost sticking it up his nose, causing him to swat at you like a fly, dropping his muffin bag in the process.

“You can have them,” he begins, handing you the bag from the floor, “but seriously, are you–stop poking me y/n.”

“You talk too much,” you say as you place a muffin between your teeth and begin to swat at him like he did you. You didn’t want to explain your thoughts to Wooyoung. You weren’t ready to hear compliments. People usually resort to sweet words in the form of comfort, and it’s  mad annoying. They focus too much on the nice aspects of being a hero. Like, yea you look SMOKING in the skin tight suit, but sweat is not fun and no amount of magic could relieve you when you went into sensory overload. Especially when the sun decides to shine way too much in the middle of March and the rain from that morning left humidity and the hairs behind your neck stick–

“Helloooo??” Wooyoung begins once again as he knocks on your forehead with the exact same force you would a door

“Could you not?” You say as you turn your head harshly away from him, “I’m just tired.”

“I would say I’m sorry,” He begins while shoving a muffin in your mouth, “but I’m not. You never talk to me anymore, so I’m not apologizing for being a concerned friend.”

“You don’t need to be concerned for me,” You drop your shoulders with slight guilt, and you begin to ponder about your best friend. He’s never openly said something so sweet to you, kinda disgusting.

“Exactly!” He basically screams, “I don’t–no–I shouldn’t have to worry because you don’t just disappear halfway through a movie and come back hours later! And! On days we plan to hangout you always come up with a dumbass excuse.”

By now you have stopped chewing your muffin and just stare at him–mind blank. 

“Like, I can totally see right through you anyway, but I still let you go because yes, I am annoying, but I don’t want to chase after you so much.  If you have something you’re hiding–that’s okay! You don’t have to tell me.” He gets quieter at this confession and it makes you want to hug your dear friend. “But I thought I would be the first to know about your booty calls and possible partner.” 

“Huh...” You go, very eloquently. “Booty call???” You scrunch your face together as if you ate a lemon and stare at him with your mouth slightly open.

Wooyoung looks  you up and down with just his eyes–kind of judgingly. He takes notice of your dangling arms attached to your slouched form–one hand holding the bag and the other with muffin crumbs. Your hair–although messy– slightly moves with the early morning wind. It’s warm out and you have a sweater on, obvious that you rushed out of bed 30 minutes ago. Good thing he has an extra shirt in case you get sweaty and gross. 

He slightly laughs at your expression to his previous comment, but he had to keep composure. He only added that to what he was feeling to get a reaction from you. You had already looked guilty enough, and he just wanted to know what was up with you. At that thought, he crosses his arms and says,

“Yea, booty call, why else would you be dumping me all the time.” He un-crosses his arms and goes to swing his arm around you, “It’s okay to be horny, you know, and I would prefer to not know that, but again, I need to know where you go.”

You slightly lean into him as you groan. You were about to cover your face with your palms when Wooyoung grabs them and looks at you. You stick your head out to make a biting movement and say, “I’m not seeing anyone. I’m just….busy.”

“Doing what? You be helping out Ladybug or something?” He slightly laughs and lets go of your hands to pat down your hair. 

“Kind of.”

He stops his movements to look at you, “What?”

“Except I am Ladybug,” you whisper with the best poker face you can manage. 

“No,” he states but it sounds more  like a question as he expects you to be joking.

“Yea,” you simply state as you turn and continue walking towards your morning class, grateful the booty call conversation is now over even though you kind of blew your cover.

You’re not really nervous about having told Wooyoung. You trust him with your life, and you’ve seen him stare down a little black butterfly that was headed his way. Effectively avoiding akumatization. You simply wonder if he really believes you–he has to. It’s kind of the only explanation for your emotional and physical absence. You would explain better, but you’d rather let him take in this information first before dumping your other problems unto him. 

“You’re a pain in my ass Y/n.” He groans as you two walk into the school building.

“I do have a nice ass. Thank you, Woo.” you reply, also taking note of the amount of students in the building. 

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and confesses, “The booty call thing was a joke, I’m sorry, okay? So just tell me the truth now.”

“That is the truth, stupid.” you deadpan, “Thanks for not repeating it, though. I thought you’d scream it out so loud Mayor Kang would hear and alert the press…or something.”

Wooyoung seems to copy the same reaction you had not 20 minutes ago; slightly bent over and full of disbelief.

[multific]

Trainers

Owen Grady x Reader

Summary: You are the trainer of the Mosasaurus, you have been working with her since she was a tiny little thing. So, you don’t appreciate when another trainer is asked to check on the work you have been doing.

 You understood that Claire wanted results. But they never understood that a creature such as a dinosaur is not as easy to train as a dog. Nevertheless, when the owner of the park specifically asked for you to be the caretaker of the Mosasaurus, you just knew you had to accept. Being a well respected Marine Biologist in your field, you loved the different challenge this would bring. Although you had to do a lot of studying. You would normally focus on a lot of species, so only having to deal with one animal was quite different. 

When you first saw her, you knew, you understood just how special she really was and you fell in love with the tiny being. Well, back then she was the size of an alligator, but then she grew into her normal size. She got huge. Even her tank spoke to itself.

Momo was chosen to do one of trick for the public. To eat a shark from a hook, splashing water onto the crowd. You knew she wasn’t a circus animal. You understood that, but since you two spent so much time together, a bond formed between you two. And you were more than surprised when she listened to you. 

One late night you were sitting by her tank, looking at her as she swam around. This was all she knew, the water, the hook and you. You often went to the Underwater Observatory where you can look into her tank through the glass. You spoke to her days on end as you just sat there after you finished with your work for the day. 

And one day, it happened.

Just like a dolphin show, you were talking and motioning around and when you moved your hand up as an expression, she jumped out of the water. The very first instant this happened, you didn’t pay much mind to it, thinking it was a coincidence. But then she did it again and again. Just as you lifted your hand up each time.

Progress.

Of course, you were to report every incident, but you chose not to tell them about this new revelation. You were afraid they will exploit her for money even more.

So, as you never reported any progress, Claire decided to send another trainer in.

Owen Grady.

He was supposed to look at your work for a month. You hated being supervised like that.

“Mr. Grady, nice to meet you, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m Momo’s caretaker.”

“Please just call me Owen. To be honest I’m as happy to be here as you are. I’d rather be with my girls, so please just give me a quick run through, so I can leave.” 

“Okay...But, Owen. Claire said that you are to watch me for a month.”

“A MONTH? She didn’t mention that to me. Or I wasn’t listening. Probably the latter.” he made you laugh a little. Maybe it was better that he was the one who was sent and not some uptight ass. 

“Alright. So, it’s hard to miss her tank, or her. She eats a lot. There are public feedings, every two hour she gets a shark. I have been with her since she was born. Little thing she was. She is very stubborn, but I did hand feed her in her early years. She gave me a lovely scar too. From my wrist to my pinky on my left hand.” you showed him the scar. “Silly mistake. But I learned from it.”

“Do you talk to her?”

“I do. Steve thinks I’m mental, since she is under water, she wouldn’t hear. But I like to think that she somehow feels that I talk to her you know?”

He nodded and looked around, then up. He noticed a long walking platform way up high. 

“What’s that?” you looked up where he was looking.

“That is the new idea. Guests would be able to go up there and watch her from there. But they are not sure if she can jump that high, so it’s still not very safe. Although I told them that she wouldn’t be able to, they want to be safe. We can go up if you want to.”

You hated being up there, your fear of heights didn’t help you either. 

“You okay there?” Owen asked as he watched you taking deep breaths and your hands gripping the railing.

“No. I hate it up here.”

“Then why did you suggest to come up?” he laughed.

“I don’t know. It was silly. Can you see her?”

“Yes. She is...swimming. Shockingly. She is 84 feet long and she weights over 30,000 lbs, when the last time we checked. She is rather calm. Prefers to swim around and eats when she is supposed to. She is not socialized with other dinos, considering that the majority would drown in her enclosure. Can we go down now, please?”

Owen stood there, looking at the huge water monster swimming right below him. Then he looked up at you, and gave you a nod.

***

Owen has been working with you for the last week. He gave many ideas on what to do and how to earn their trust.

You also didn’t fail to notice how muscular and handsome he was. 

Each morning he arrived on his bike, looking sexy as can be. And every day he observed you. He watched as you said hi to her every morning, said how you liked to make sure her food was correctly prepared. It was obvious for him that you cared about the Mosasaurus very much. 

Owen wasn’t sure what else they wanted from the dino himself, He knew they created her as an amusement for viewers as a feeding show and nothing more. So, then why did Claire wanted him to come here and watch over you. As far as he was concerned, this particular dino wasn’t even the need of a caretaker. She just swam around and ate sharks as an attraction. He suspected there was something more behind the story he had been told. 

Owen admittedly loved the Underwater Observatory. It was cool down there, not only the weather, but they you can look into the enclosure and watch the majestic beast.

He also took a liking to it’s trainer. Even if he wasn’t sure what you were training the dino to do.

“How about tomorrow you come over to the raptors? I can show them off for you like you did with Momo.” Owen came up with the idea on his second week during lunch time.

“Oh, sure. I would like to.” Little did he know that you showed the very least to him.

During his two weeks, Owen and you formed some kind of friendship. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him, even if you knew about the rumors about his dating methods. But he never once hinted on anything with you. Or you just didn’t notice. Which was also a possibility, you were quite oblivious with men.

So, the next day after making sure that Momo was all set and healthy, we headed to the raptors. 

Although I wasn’t that interested in land species, his four girls amazed you. 

“Wow. they listen to you so well.” you said smiling at him as you watched the four inside the paddock. 

Owen looked very proud of himself. 

You spent all day at the velociraptor paddock. Owen told you about the plans that they had. And it was exactly what you feared would happen to your girl.

Exploiting them for military or personal gain. 

The thought disgusted you.

These were amazing creatures. In your opinion you should be learning from them, and not using them for war.

In the evening, everyone has left, you and Owen were still at the raptors’ paddock. You looked down at them running around.

“I don’t want Momo to have the same fate. Military? Really? That’s what we are doing now? These creatures are amazing, beautiful. Even the fact that we keep them on display is rather disgusting let alone using them as weapons.”

“I agree with you. But I can also see how they would be able to save many lives. Men and women.”

“But they will never be able to control them like that. Not by their own free will. It takes time. You have known them since they were little. Momo is... she is basically an attraction to them, nothing more. They wanted me to each her tricks. Like she was a fucking pony. Jumping through loops and whatnot. And when I refused, they threatened to throw me out. So, I had to come up with something. Telling them that she is not able to do such things. Even if it’s a lie.” you eyes widened at what you just said. You just confessed your greatest secret. 

“What do you mean lie? So, she can jump?” you panicked a little but his calm demeanor helped you a little.

“S-She can. Not as high as those railings go but...She can. Oh, Owen, please don’t tell Claire. They will make her into a complete circus animal, more than she already is.” you didn’t even realize but you were so desperate that you grabbed his forearm, pleading with him.

“I won’t. I promise. I decided on my second day over there that I will tell her that you are taking a good care of her and that a Mosasaurus is not a dolphin you can teach tricks to. But I’m clearly wrong. Could you show me?”

You were soon standing by her tank. Owen looked down at the water.

“I never understood. If she can get the shark from there, why doesn’t she jump out to get the guests?”

“Well, one, they are too small, so she is not interested and two, her species main food source comes from the water or from above such as flying dinosaurs. But as you can see her water is lower than the path, they made this safe so she wouldn’t jump out and eat guests.”

“I see. So how does this work? I don’t guess that you whistle to her.” Owen said as he stood next to you.

“No. I just...” it was easier to show him, so you reached your hand out as far as you could before moving it up.

And just as you did, she jumped out of the water and back in, as elegantly as a dino of her size possibly could. 

“Wow.” Owen watched as the water splashed neither of you cared that you were soaked.

“One night. I was talking to her. And as I moved my hand, she started doing things. She can also spin, but that looked better down under the water.”

“She listens to you.”

“I like to think that if I was to fall into the water one day, she won’t eat me immediately, but I might be too naïve.” Owen looked at you and all he could think is how beautiful you looked.

“This really is something else. You must have an amazing bond.” you smiled at Owen who got your now soaked wet hair out of your face. He slowly leaned down and was about to place his lips on yours when another sudden splash of water interrupted him. He groaned and as he looked down at the water noticed Momo slowly descending into the water. 

You only laughed at the annoyed expression on Owen’s face.

“Maybe take me on a date first, Mr. Grady, I think then she will approve.” you said as he finally looked back at you.

His eyes softened.

Maybe you will thank Claire later for sending Owen over. Who could have thought that two trainers would find each other on an island like that? 

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