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ick25 · 4 years ago

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Pokemon Designs I don’t like. Part 5.2.

Continuing with the absolute train wreak that is Gen 5 designs.

First, dishonorable mentions!

Swadloon.

No talky me angy.

It’s cute and funny, but I feel the design could be more creative than a pouty bug wrapped in some leaves.

Basculin.

Not a fan of this design, but what do you expect if the lead designer was in a hurry?

Cubchoo.

Lets be honest, if Cubchoo was designed in the west, it would have frozen drool. It’s suppose to be funny, but if it’s not frozen then it’s just gross. Am I right Sid?

He gets it.

Now on with the list. The first Pokemon are...

Bert and Ernie!

The person who did this is a genius!

11. Throh and Sawk.

Ignoring the Fan service from the anime, these two make no sense to me. I already have a problem with humanoid fighting type Pokemon, but these guys just look like muppets wearing kimonos. What’s worse is that those lines they have in their designs make me think they’re rock types, no wonder water gun doesn’t work!

Their designs are just boring and confusing.

4/10.

12. Scraggy and Scrafty.

You want me to believe that evolution didn’t do anything about those falling pants?

I think Scraggy is some kind of lizard, but is that mouth necessary? Scraggy looks like it’s biting its lips. I could give it a pass if it wasn’t for that mouth design.

Scrafty doesn’t make sense evolution-wise, it has more loose skin than scraggy, I know they want to play with the concept of hooded thief lizard, but what’s the point of evolving if you still have to keep pulling your pants up, specially if you’re a fighting type that needs both arms to fight.

Scraggy: 7/10.

Scrafty: 3/10.

13. Minccino.

What’s the point of giving Minccino an evolution if it’s only the same design with more white fur? It is cute, but Eevee if more memorable than this thing because it has a creative design. Minccino is just a cartoon Chinchilla. Its evolution form can work as a stand alone Pokemon.

14. Gothitelle

I like the color scheme, but what is this thing? What is it based on? Why does it have those lips? I thought Gothita was like a penguin, but that’s not what it is at all. I like the ink drop theme going on with the evolutions, but Gothitelle just puzzles me. I don’t like the design, it looks like a no nose goth woman with a long dress with bows and a weird hairdo, nothing unique here.

6/10.

15. Ducklett.

Rubber duckies have more personality than this. I know that’s what it’s based on, but do you have to keep those creepy dead eyes? You can do something better than this.

2/10.

16. Deerling and Sawsbuck.

Multicolor Bambies.

I like the idea of them changing with the seasons, but their designs are still too simple, they’re just deers. The baby is just the same boring design with one different color.

Come on, Game Freak, make me feel like I’m in a magical world, not Disney.

1/10.

17. Alomomola.

I can’t believe they didn’t make this thing an evolution form of Luvdisk. What a waste, but I guess it’s for the best because an evolution for Luvdisk could look way better than this.

2/10.

18. Klink, Klang, Klinklang.

No, I’m not singing. This is one of the laziest designs I’ve ever seen, and that’s coming from someone who gave Dugtrio a pass. I like the idea of a Pokemon passing for a gear to hide in factories, but two of these designs are just a copy paste with a ring added to one of them. And the very first design has a dumb and none sensical face, is it missing an eye? Is it half dead? Why is one eye an X?

-10/10. You can’t paint a face on an object and say it’s a Pokemon, this is an insult!

19. Axew and Fraxure.

There is just something about Axew’s design that I don’t like. Perhaps its the color scheme, the patterns on its face, or those weird tusks coming out of its mouth that makes it look like a toddler with crooked teeth after eating something hard. And it only gets worse with Fraxure.

Only that the design is too simple and those things on its mouth look like plane propellers. How is this thing the stage before the coolest design that is Haxorus?

5/10

4/10

20. Accelgor.

Somebody wants sea food leftovers?

Its design is confusing in every way. Why are its eyes between its mouth? Why does it look like some type of mollusk coming out of a tin foil suit? I understand the whole Japanese super hero gimmick, but this is just lame.

2/10.

Once again I have to end the list here, because there are even more bad designs in Gen 5 I need to vent my frustrations on.

#Pokemon #pokemon design #videogames #anime

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literalnobody · 5 years ago

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Well, the indigenous in frozen are based on Samis and a lot of them have blonde hair and blue eyes. It's not rare then that elsa and anna's mum has blue eyes. It's more strange that no one was blonde

{my reponse contains spoilers so I’m leaving it under the cut!}

Oh I am not disputing the validity of indigenous people having a variety of appearances (dark hair, blonde hair, lighter skin, darker skin, various eye colours) but like, compare the designs of the indigenous people: bronze toned skin, broad noses, thick eyebrows, sharp cheekbones and square jaws. And then look at Anna and Elsa’s mother, who has white skin (rosy in the cheeks as opposed to warm browns and bronzes), reddish auburn hair, sloping round jaw, teeny tiny european nose. Like, sorry, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Disney pulled this out of their ass to provide “diversity” while keeping their princesses whiter than bleached bread. Like, don’t get me wrong, I loved Frozen 1, my major criticisms with Frozen 2 are in it’s confused and poorly paced screenplay, but this was the cheapest and most condescending form of “diversity” Disney could insert.

I personally loved the angle of Anna and Elsa having to reconcile the crimes of their ancestors and bring peace between their people and the indigenous people, but the “get out of jail free” card they were handed by making their mother, who was very plainly NOT designed to represent an indigenous person, one of the tribe, diminshes their responsibility to address a dispute that can be easily interpreted as a racially motivated attack (their white grandfather is suspicious of the indigenous people because of their relationship with the land, their different culture and way of life, it’s not a stretch to see his hatred of the tribe as being racially founded rather than politically, but I’m not going to get into that too deep because its a disney movie and I’m sure they didn’t give it as much thought as I did). But the fact that the princesses are half indigenous (lol but without any of the design) and half white... Arrendalians?? Idk what you’d call them, is a simplified way of “restoring” the natural order... The princesses are entitled to insert themselves into the tribes affairs because they are the “rightful” rulers owing to their *cough* white *cough* indigenous mother. ANYWAY. All of this is a long way to say. This was the laziest writing imaginable. Like just a really poor way of inserting and resolving conflict. I loved the plotline of the tribe but the way it was executed, addressed and resolved was so, so lazy, nonsensical and disappointed.

ALSO, on the point of lazy writing, so anna&elsa’s mom stowed away, and made it to arrendale, and then married the prince/king/dad... But he didn’t know she was the girl from the tribe? Who did she stay with? How did she insert herself into aristocratic society?? It was never addressed how they met again after the incident in the forest or how she came to be in a social position of marrying a king. I guess you could buy that in a disney movie the king doesn’t have to marry an aristocrat but even still... Major plot hole?

Needless to say, this is all just my opinion. I understand why other people loved the film, it was visually brilliant, the songs were nice, I definitely enjoyed many elements. I was supremely disappointed in the screenplay and this “twist” was just, to me, diminutive and a little insulting towards the indigenous people’s plotline of being betrayed and attacked without cause.

#asks #frozen 2 #frozen II #Anonymous

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timemachineyeah · 5 years ago

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Autopia is terrible, it’s the worst thing to happen to Disneyland, and it should be DESTROYED: A Plea

Autopia fucking sucks.

I am a grown adult who has had a driver’s license for years and when I am done riding Autopia my leg hurts because I have to push down so hard on the damn pedal to get the fucking riding lawnmower they’re passing off as an “attraction” to move.

It’s also not fun because I can drive. But it’s not for me! It’s for kids! Who normally don’t get to drive! Yeah, and GOOD LUCK TO THEM because the usability of the vehicles is not well catered to actual kids!

There is nothing special about these cars. They aren’t even as good as normal go-carts or bumper cars. Nothing about them is designed to be A Ride For Children or A Ride for ANYONE. It’s the laziest, least creative, least effort attraction you could cobble together. “Been in the park since it opened!” yeah and with only a few updates they’re using the SAME CLUNKY BULLSHIT THEY WERE BACK THEN. “A passable go-cart track in 1955″ is NOT the standard of a well-designed theme park experience, let alone an experience in the most famous and profitable theme park franchise in the world!

The whole area smells like gasoline. “Air pollution, the ride!” Is the Tomorrow of Tomorrowland supposed to be a Mad Max hellscape? Is Autopia actually a social criticism, a vision of a dystopic future? This is what will happen, if we don’t come up with better designs and better energy before it’s too late?

“Oh come on, it’s not great, but it’s not that bad.” Listen. I would accept that as a criticism if we were talking about, say, The Tiki Room, which takes up like a speck of a corner of one part of the park. But Autopia, literally no one’s favorite ride, the thing you do when I guess the line is short and you’ve done everything else, an actual pain to deal with, that stinks up the park with its shitty gasoline, takes up more space than ALL OF TOONTOWN.

This image makes my blood boil. Disney is already a capitalist nightmare monster preying on the consumptionist weaknesses of society to grow into an undefeatable abomination that rewrites the laws to suit itself. The least it could fucking do is make GOOD THEME PARK CHOICES.

That’s a whole land! That’s enough space for a whole land! You could put fucking ANYTHING there!

But, hell, let’s say you WANT to put a car attraction there. Fine, do so.

But this is fucking TOMORROWLAND. So make it the future!

Build a miniature city. Entirely self-sustaining in electricity. Mini city and new mini cars are all powered by renewable energy. Little electric cars. They’re self driving, because this is Tomorrowland.

You pull a choose your own adventure. With stories that stitch together depending on your choices. You get in your little electric car in your little mini city, and you pick destinations to go to, in whatever order you like. Different stories play out in the car and around you depending on where you go. Everyone is choosing different things, and the cars are all moving with alarming efficiency, but no one crashes because these cars don’t face any of the obstacles self driving cars in the wild do (they can all talk to each other, they can talk to everything around, the entire pastiche infrastructure was built for this). After a certain number of stops or a certain amount of choose-your-own-adventure exploring, the cars have some Emergency, where you’re pulled out of your route to do a little jaunt that’s KINDA FAST OOOH on a special road in order to please the thrill seekers, and you’re taken to wherever they kick you out.

Maybe the people in the cars can even talk to each other using their little control screens, or something. You make it all SUPER interactive, and maximize the desire to go again by fact that you can’t see everything in one trip, and that even if you see the same things a second time, everyone else is doing different things, so your route or trip may be different. Procedurally generated theme park attraction based around both the future and cars. Thematically relevant, technologically impressive (while all being absolutely doable with tech that already exists), a true spiritual successor, accessible to everyone, and also actually fucking fun.

That’s IF you gotta stick to cars. I’d also be fine with leveling it and making more Fantasyland areas like they have in Orlando. Or making something entirely new.

What they shouldn’t be doing is WASTING ALL THAT SPACE FOR THE MOST MISERABLE LOATHSOME AND POORLY DESIGNED EXPERIENCE IN ALL OF DISNEY PARK HISTORY.

AUTOPIA IS THE WORST.

#timemachine wuz here #text post #yes I WILL die mad about it thank you #disneyland #autopia #honestly while the Nemo ride is cute and sometimes they do cool stuff in the old Carousel of Progress building #you could also gut both of those and have any more usable land if making a whole new land was what you wanted #but you also wouldn't have to because AUTOPIA IS BIG ENOUGH ON ITS OWN #and it's INFURIATING

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takaraphoenix · 6 years ago

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Question- I got the feeling from one of your asks you dislike Frozen. Can I ask why? I know I dislike it now because it got beat to utter death in terms of popularity and such. It was cute the first time for me... less so the hundreds of times after.

Oh, dislike is too weak a word. I absolutely hate everything (aside from Sven) about this gods damn movie and its gods damn badly built world. ^^°°°

Now, I already wrote a rather elaborate journal entry about that back in 2015. But I feel like that’s a thing I should also have on here and that rant is also 4 years old, so I’ll copy/paste and edit and add some.

Don’t read if you think Fr0zen is peak perfection. For everyone else, in this 3.5k word essay I will elaborate why Fr0zen is definitely not the peak of Disney animation and story-telling.

So, this is a long overdue rant about why Fr0zen is the worst animated movie I've ever seen in my entire life and why Elsa and Anna are horrible characters.

There are many factors that play into why I hate this movie, so let’s structure this a little bit and start off with the characters.

Elsa and the glorification of that character. Back in the day, I found awfully unfitting comparisons between Elsa and Elphaba from the Wicked series and it pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter, because somehow, Elsa is a celebrated strong female character, while... that’s more than undeserved.I mean, Elsa is a supposed queen. She's different from others and decides to hide it. And then she runs and hides in a castle in the mountains because she's too afraid that others may perhaps judge her for being different. A queen. Abandoning her kingdom without as much as a second thought, just to go and pout and brood alone. What I love about Disney princesses is that they usually put others first before themselves. Not her though, no, when madam needs to angst alone, she’ll just freeze over the entire country and build herself a castle.Elphaba has been different all her life and LIVED with the ACTUAL judgement of others for as long. She NEVER hid who she was. She always stood strong. Yes, she too hid in a castle in the mountains - after she co-led a revolutionary army against what can only be called the Nazis of Oz to prevent a genocide and lost the love of her life and father of her unborn child in the process.Putting Elsa as Elphaba's equal insults Elphaba so much that it makes me, as a fangirl, so ragingly mad, especially since it just doesn’t hold true. Elphaba spent most of her life trying to make the country better, trying to help those who are helpless, while all Elsa did all of her life was hide away in her bedroom and then run away to her castle...Another reason for my deeply seated hatred are the fans. Well, like the ones who think Elsa is in any way, form or shape qualified to be Elphaba's equal. There were so many posts pretending like Fr0zen is somehow revolutionary because it‘s about sisterly love instead of romance (like Lilo & Stitch doesn‘t exist) and other such claims that just completely ignored some of Disney’s biggest hits - not even the deep digs, they entirely disregarded very popular and widely known movies and instead pretended like this here was the very first time such amazing things happend! No. It’s just a repetition of tropes and writing that Disney’s been doing for decades.It's like Fr0zen drew in people who have legitimately never seen a Disney movie before in their entire lives.Then there's the whole feminist-thing where they act like Anna or Elsa are good role-models to little girls. The fuck they are. I mean, I've mentioned it before, but I'll gladly get back to it. It's good to vent and let the bad feelings go, eh?Granted, blaming Elsa and Anna entirely is probably a bad move. We need to start with their dumbass parents. Worst movie parents ever.The magical troll TELLS them explicitly that Elsa's biggest weakness is fear. The logical course of action when one of my children has a supernatural and possibly dangerous power is to explain it to her - since they seemed pretty chill about it, like it's a regular thing in their family to be born with some kind of weird powers. To teach her, maybe make her go and visit the trolls once a week for training. SOMETHING. Anything but locking her up in her room where she learns to hate and FEAR her powers, which, obviously grow with age. So by the time she's really powerful, she won't have the faintest clue how to handle them. Worst. Parents. Ever.Then there is Elsa, who has magical powers that she loves. But hey, Anna got a little hurt so let's be afraid of them forever. It's like riding a bike. When you fall and get hurt, you NEVER EVER get on a bike again. Wait, what do you mean that's not the case?

She proceeds to become the queen and seems to be aware that it's a lot of responsibility and that she's now, duh, the queen. So packing it all up and running away at the faintest sign of trouble for her is a totally legitimate queen-move. Instead of handling the situation like a grown up and facing it, she runs away and hides in a castle of ice. Because why should she care about the kingdom that SHE caused the biggestest crisis in probably its whole history? Naw, letting it go and hiding up there is way better. How does that move and that song teach children and little girls to be good? It basically teaches them to run from their problems when something happens that you're uncomfortable with, because you are the only person who should matter to you, especially when you're a queen. Not your family, friends (not that she had those) or the kingdom you rule. As long as YOU are comfortable and happy, it's totally fine. There's not an ounce of bravery, honor or even common sense that Elsa portraits. It’s completely selfishly motivated and while sure, being selfish to a degree, can be a good thing and there are people who need to learn it... to just straight-up abandon everyone who relies on you just because you have been inconvenienced is... not a good lesson?

That super big song is an awful lesson. “No right, no wrong, no rules for me”... yeah, great, love when that’s the lesson my kids learn from a Disney movie. It’s so unnecessarily dramatic and so intensely selfish. Usually the main song of a Disney princess is empowering and encouraging. Not telling you to basically fuck the rules and do whatever you want.

Then there's the whole lazy-ass character design of the white-haired, pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blue-dressed ice-controller. As seen in Rise of the Guardians with Jack Frost one year prior, as seen in Tinkerbell with Periwinkle (getting to that later) also one year prior and literally as seen by Bertier in Sailor Moon, who even has the same braid thrown over her shoulder, for heaven's sake. And granted, yes, you can‘t just fault Disney for that. Everybody who has an ice-controler loves to fall back to those cliche character design elements, but... this is Disney. They are big and they usually care about their character design, but here they were simply the laziest they could be. Not to mention that dress. Oh sure, Disney has always liked to over-sexualize certain characters, but here they did it in an era-breaking way - her dress does not even remotely fit into the overall setting of the movie, which only makes it look even more like some character-designer really just wanted to get off to Elsa...

Not to mention the even lazier design of her powers. She controls snow and ice. So... her magical ice can corrupt a heart and freeze them for good. Oooh and it can create sentinent life as seen by Olaf and that giant-ass monster. And she makes fancy ice-clothes that are not see-through but come it different shades of blue and move like proper clothes would! ...Where exactly are her powers? What CAN she do? Because it's obviously not just ice. It's convenient "She does what we need her to do". Driven even more home by that ridiculous short where she suddenly also has spring-powers. Because sure, why the fuck not.

Usually, princesses have clearly defined abilities. Moana controls the water because she has a bond with the ocean and she gets them from being chosen by the ocean. Rapunzel has healing powers because her mother digested a healing plant while pregnant.

There's no explanation whatsoever to Elsa’s powers. The king and queen are acting all casual about Elsa being born with those powers, but there's not even the hint of an explanation as to WHY she was born with those very random powers. Her parents and sister sure don’t have any powers. And even though they know about them and seem to not be concerned that she has those powers, they are very much at a loss as to how to deal with them. So you’re not actually familiar with them, then why are you not surprised by them...?

They have magical stone-trolls. Why do they have magical stone-trolls? Again, king and queen are totally casual about the magical stone-trolls like they're something completely obvious that is in every kingdom. But where do they come from and how are they linked to the princess’ random magic? Who knows? Certainly not the viewer of this movie, because jackshit about the world-building is actually explained in it.

They're not even attempting to tie in the magic or make it logical in this world. It's there. It's strange and weird. The rulers know about it, but... does the common folk? I guess not, because even Anna was shocked about them. So how did the king and queen know?

Unlike the usual, they’re not even attempting a coherent world-building. Something as simple as “it’s in the royal blood, every firstborn has those powers, king’s older sister had them too”, or whatever, literally any throwaway half-way thought-through explanation would have sufficed instead of “LOL they’re there we dunno how or why and they just do what they we need them to do!”...

Anyway, enough about Elsa. Let’s move on to little Miss Dumbass. The girl without common sense. I'm aware that Disney was trying to be self-ironic with the whole love song under the moon and "I wanna marry him!" thing, but Anna went farther than that. When her sister decides to let it go and run away, she becomes the default leader of the country. As that I totally run after my sister during the biggest crisis of the kingdom. And yes, maybe because she's just a naive kid and loves her sister who hasn't talked to her in like ten years so-so-so much, that sister had priority. Okay, I'll buy it, I guess. That still doesn't change that Anna leaves the kingdom in the hands of the dude she's known for like an hour instead of the generals and advisers who must have ruled while Elsa was busy playing emo in her bedroom for the last ten years. Someone qualified who knows the kingdom and knows how to handle it. Nope, let’s throw caution and common sense out of the window because I REALLY LOVE HIM!!!... And I am also genuinely tired of Disney making fun of themselves and belittling their old movies, to be quite honest. It was a fun joke when they did it the first time in Enchanted, but at this point it’s quite frankly just insulting the movies that came before and... how about not??Now for one of the most important reasons why I hate this movie; they fucked Hans Christian Andersen. The only thing this has to do with his Snow Queen is that there's a queen who controls ice.

I know Disney has been painfully lazy this century.

They've always twisted the fairy tales to make them more friendly for kids, but the core of the real fairy tale remained - Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, well I'm assuming you've heard of them and know where I'm getting with this. They make it less brutal and more child-friendly, but the heart of the story remains the same. Then this century hit and it must have hit them upside the head because they forgot how to adapt a source material.

I liked Princess and the Frog. It was funny, she was a strong character with development, the animal sidekicks were cute. And it's dismissal of the fairy tale is even semi-explained in canon where she points to the actual fairy tale and says it's "like" the tale. Not it is the tale. They weren't even trying to adapt the fairy tale with this one, so it gets a pass, even though I am still peeved that they didn’t actually do an adaptation of either the Frog King or the Frog Princess, because both are great fairy tales that would have deserved to become Disney movies too.

Then there was Tangled, which... was trying to adapt Rapunzel and kept some of the key-elements while striking out other important things - like where she got her name, for example, I mean, really? Though I did like that wink to the real fairy tale at the end when her magical tears healed him. That was a piece of illogical magic in the fairy tale and the whole flower-thing in Tangled, well, it at least tried to make it logical.

But Fr0zen? There is nothing that this has to do with the actual fairy tale and when it was first announced, I was looking forward to another fairy tale adaptation, instead I got a pile of bullshit they placed on HCA's grave.Now, my last point on this agenda - because I could nitpick every single second of that movie, but even I'm not patient enough and it would mean I'd have to rewatch it to actually make it every single second accurately and that is never going to happen. Ever - is that it's a cheap rip-off.

Disney doesn't really do the whole original routine. Their movies are based on fairy tales and books and plays. And they occasionally get lazy and re-use things from their old stuff. But Fr0zen is such a copy of even one of their own movies.The movie I'm talking about here is Tinkerbell: Secret of the Wings. Yes, it's not even one of their big hits or a fairy tale movie. It's like the third sequel to the spin-off of a book-adaptation.

Let's see...

We got two sisters. Check. Anna and Elsa. Tinkerbell and Periwinkle.

One of them is naive, yet optimistic and good-natured and easy-going. Check. Anna and Tinkerbell.

The other is pale, blue-eyed, white-haired and has ice-controlling powers. Check. Elsa and Periwinkle.

But our main protagonist isn't the powerful one, it's the naive goody-two-shoes one. Also check.

The two sisters were separated for a long time. Check. By locking herself into a room versus by being in another realm.

Reunited at a late teenage-age and realizing wow, we got some stuff in common. Check.

There's the matter of the ice harming the naive one. Check. Anna gets hurt as a little girl and Tinkerbell catches a cold when she's first in the winter wonderland.

This harming is cause for a separation, because finding a way around the pain is too easy and we need drama. Check.

Winter takes over the kingdom. Double-check on that one.

The sisters need to find a way to work together to save their kingdom from eternal winter, but that's hard because the ice once again harmed the naive one. Check, with Anna's frozen heart and Tinkerbell's broken wing.

Dramatic moment, because the naive one seems in a dire situation without any way out, but there is a weird sister-love-magic going on that totally solves that problem! Check. Elsa kissing Anna and making it better, while Periwinkle's wings can heal Tinkerbell's wings via twin-wing-magic.

And the kingdom is saved and they lived happily ever after, finding a way to see each other and be best sisters forever! Also check. The end.

It's just embarrassing to rip yourself off like that. Seriously, borrowing some elements of a movie you have done before is one thing (like Maleficent shamelessly “borrowing” from Fr0zen). But the extend to which the plots of those two movies align is ridiculous.

Not to mention the internet going nuts over Elsa like she's the best thing since sliced bread. All the J€lsa everywhere still makes my stomach turn. How does the internet see two characters who dress the same, look the same, have the same powers AND the same fears and think "My, those two characters who are basically twins, I'd like to see them make out!".

Which also plays heavily into why I don’t just dislike the movie is that it is mercilessly shoved down your throat at every turn. You go to a regular groceries store? Here are the Fr0zen plates and band-aids and toothbrushes and what not! No other Disney movie has ever been commercialized to that degree, it really doesn’t matter what type of store you enter, there will be merch for this blasted movie. You literally couldn’t escape it. And if you don’t like a thing but at every turn, it is shoved into your face, then your dislike tends to grow.

Another huge point in that regard is that stupid ““short movie”“ they aired before Coco.Those two movies were in such different settings that the disconnect actually threw you off, seriously I had a hard time getting into Coco for the first 20 minutes or so because I had just been in an entirely different place, story-wise, setting-wise, heck even climate wise. To go from white wonderland Christmas special to Day of the Dead celebration in Mexico?? That’s literally as far apart as you could get...

And it was just too long. If you put a short movie before a movie, make it actually short. The five minute ones, as was the usual. That is fun, that is nice. This one was twenty minutes long.

Again, a part where the fans piss me off because they bitch that people shouldn’t complain about it, they “didn’t have to see it”. Bitch, no. For one, I do not know how long this movie is when I sit in cinema and am suddenly hit outta left field by there even being a short-movie. So why would I leave? Is it 5 minutes? 10 minutes? If I stay outside the cinema too long, I will actually miss the beginning of the movie I came and paid for.

And I’m a grown adult. The situation with kids is far different. Every single kid in the theater with me was absolutely confused and asked every two minutes “Why is that on? Are we in the wrong theater? When will the movie start?”, multiple ones leaving... and not returning at all, because they thought they indeed were in the wrong movie. And even then... there is a reason a children’s movie is roughly an hour to an hour and a half. Because of a child’s attention span. Now if you pack a nearly half hour long ““short film”“ in front of a one and a half hour long actual film and after another half hour of trailers and ads, you have forced those four to ten year olds through a total of two and a half hours. Heck, me as an adult I got a hard time with that length. But among the kids who actually stayed and didn’t leave because of the short, most - especially the younger ones - got really cranky toward the end of Coco, obviously, logically.

So, aside from being a horrible movie (seriously, it’s just one song after the other and the other and the other and focusing on the solely worst part of this franchise, Olaf), it was also forced upon people. Not like other random spin-off shorts to their movies that just air on TV and you can watch them if you like them. Nope. You wanna see this beautiful masterpiece about the Day of the Dead? You gotta watch this Fr0zen short before!

There’s more things (like the just mentioned fact that I think the obnoxious, unfunny and unexplained magic snowman was the worst thing), like I mentioned above I genuinely could nitpick every second of it if I would want to, but this is already long enough with the big bullet points.

TL;DR: It’s just too much, it is forced upon people, it has lazy world-building and character design, it has a horrible message, it is constantly treated like it’s in any way or shape revolutionary when it brought literally not a single new thing to the table, it has nothing to do with the fairy tale it was first announced to be an adaptation of and a huge chunk of its fans are really freaking obnoxious.

#Disney #Anti Frozen #I mean #yeah #Phoe's Random Movie Rants #Anonymous

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aveture · 3 years ago

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Hands down this has got to be the laziest character design Disney ever did. This series is becoming such a disappointment

why does there need to be a monsters inc series. and why does the new character look so boring

this is not a monster. this is just some guy

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dweemeister · 7 years ago

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2017 Movie Odyssey for-fun awards

The 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards are being posted sometime soon, but, as is tradition on this blog, here are some for-fun honors and dishonors based on a year of watching 200+ films that were new to me this calendar year.

Actor I wanted to smack most in the face: Mark Wahlberg, The Happening (2008)

Good lord, he was AWFUL. “Planning on murdering me in my sleep?” “WHAT, NO!” Here’s Wahlberg talking to a plastic tree.

Attempted political messaging, but says less than it wants: State of the Union (1948)

Frank Capra, you are better than this!

Attempted religious messaging, but says less than it wants: Conflagration (1958, Japan)

Best Film Title: What Dreams May Come (1998)

Best individual cue from an original score: “End Titles” from Independence Day (1996), composed by David Arnold

Best lyrics passage from an original song: From “No Wrong Way Home” from Pearl (2016 short)

One blue-green world, round as a pearl, doesn’t matter which road you take, you’ll wind up in the same place. That’s not philosophy, it’s geometry, and if things don’t look the same, well it’s only you who’ve changed.

There’s some interesting messaging and rhyming going on here. Damn.

Best Moment: An act of sportsmanship, followed by a grandstand finish, Akeelah and the Bee (2006)

If you have kids and they haven’t seen this movie, find this movie. If you haven’t seen this movie, find this movie.

Best Montage: Body-switching and “Zenzenzense”, Your Name (2016, Japan)

Best Movie Dad: Raymond from My Life as a Zucchini (2016, Switzerland)

The first non-biological father to win here, I think. It matters not, though. He is wonderful here.

Best Movie Family Member, non-parent: Aunt Mattie (Clara Blandick), A Star Is Born (1937)

For supporting Esther’s dreams of going to Hollywood without fail. You go, Aunt Mattie. She really is not in this movie long enough.

Best Movie Mom(s): All of the Boatwrights (Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, and Sophie Okonedo) and Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson), The Secret Life of Bees (2008)

Again, a first in that these are adopted parents. Thanks to a good friend of mine for introducing to me the book.

Best on-screen friendship: The friendship between all the orphans in My Life as as Zucchini

Best use of non-original music (and best musical callback to a past movie): The many uses of “You’ll Never Know” from Hello Frisco Hello (1943) appearing in The Shape of Water (2017)

Hello Frisco Hello remains on my watchlist… we’ll get there someday!

Best dance segment (for two): Rita Hayworth and Fred Astaire in “I’m Old Fashioned”, You Were Never Lovelier (1942)

Best dance segment (solo): Donald O’Connor in “A Man Chases a Girl (Until She Catches Him)”, There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954)

Best sword fight: Errol Flynn v. Basil Rathbone, Captain Blood (1935)

Yeah, sorry folks who expected Rey and Kylo Ren v. Praetorian Guards or Kylo Ren v. Luke here.

Bestiality: The Red Turtle (2016, France/Belgium/Japan)

SPOILERS!!!

Biggest Disappointment: Marnie (1964)

Oh god, this may be the first Hitchcock movie I truly loathed (nor do I think it will be the last… I’ve basically seen all the greats by now).

Biggest (pleasant) surprise: Pear Cider and Cigarettes (2016 short)

I was worried about the explicit content for this Oscar-nominated short film, and that it might meander around its topic a bit. But no it didn’t. Well done, well deserved nomination.

Biggest (unpleasant) surprise: Detroit (2017)

It becomes torture porn in the final third. The black victims are not nearly developed enough here as they should be.

Bloodbath: Logan (2017)

Is it the movie with the highest body count? Maybe not, considering I saw both Independence Day movies this year. But it was certainly bloody!

Bravest: Parvana, The Breadwinner (2017)

Going full-out Mulan to help her family survive in pre-American invasion Afghanistan? I was astounded by Parvana’s resilience.

Don’t take opiates, kids: Pink Floyd - The Wall (1982)

Greatest Discovery (Actor): Pierre Étaix, Yoyo (1965, France)

Greatest Discovery (Actress): Brooklynn Prince, The Florida Project (2017)

Greatest Discovery (Director): D.A. Pennebaker, Don’t Look Back (1967) and Monterey Pop (1968)

Hardest ending to watch: The Coward (1965, India)

Satyajit Ray pulling no punches here.

Hypnotic: Notes on a Triangle (1966 short)

A beautiful experimental animated short film. Someone’s going to connect it to the Illuminati or some vast Canadian conspiracy somehow.

Kept me on the edge of my seat: Seven Days to Noon (1950)

A Cold War thriller at the very beginning of the Cold War has so much going for it than so many modern thrillers can never hope to achieve.

Kick-ass moment: This riding scene from The Man from Snowy River (1982)

I’d like to see a chimpanzee with dual-wielding machine guns do that! Make it happen, 20th Century Fox!

Laziest (not worst) film title: Summer Magic (1963)

I mean, the songs are decent and Hayley Mills is, too. But come on, Disney!

Least funny comedy: That Funny Feeling (1965)

Least likely to deserve my negative review 10 years from now: Justice League (2017)

Because you know Zack Snyder will find a way to screw the DCEU up even more.

Least likely to deserve my positive review 10 years from now: I have a hunch it’s gonna be Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)… but I don’t want that to be official here.

Line I will repeat the most down the years: “Apes. Together. Strong.”, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Made fashion designers compelling: Funny Face (1957)

Most Inspiring: Swim Team (2016)

A documentary that follows three members of a New Jersey Special Olympics swim team. All those kids have autism, and it is fantastic to see them learn, grow, and live over time. It isn’t a Hoop Dreams, but it doesn’t need to be.

Made me laugh the most: Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968)

And I’m not ashamed to say that. It’s not the best comedy by any means, but I got more laughter and mileage out of this one than anything else.

Most Memorable Use of an Icepick: Scarlet Street (1945)

Don’t spoil if you know!

Most Overrated Picture: Manchester by the Sea (2016)

Casey Affleck had no business winning that Academy Award.

Most Underappreciated: The Great Man (1956)

In our world of “fake news”, this movie - which also comments on how we idealize our heroes - has many echoes on today. It’s a good journalism/news media movie, even if it’s concentrated on early TV and especially radio.

Most Underseen: Bardelys the Magnificent (1926)

A good, entertaining adventure-romance silent film with John Gilbert and Eleanor Boardman. The reason why it’s underseen was because it was considered a lost film until recently, when a near-complete print turned up in France.

Movie I most wished to write on, but wasn’t able to (because I ran out of October to do it): A retrospective on Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) and regular reviews for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Movie that I’m most eager to rewatch: Castle in the Sky (1986, Japan)

There was so much going on, and so many departures from Nausicaa that I need time to do a Retrospective review on this some day. It’s a gorgeous film.

Nearly resulted in someone killing me in a theater: In This Corner of the World (2016, Japan)

Yeah, if the main character had gone to Hiroshima, I would have been a goner (and it wouldn’t have been by my own hand).

Raunchiest: Destry Rides Again (1939)

Holy hell. There are so many entendres in here, and Marlene Dietrich is going all out on the sexuality! How did this get pass the Hays Code?

Sorry, I didn’t get it, and I still don’t get all the love for David Lynch (even though Mulholland was great): Eraserhead (1977)

Sounds most like a porno (other than Octopussy because that’s too easy): Peeping Tom (1960)

With apologies to Michael Powell.

Star Trek alumni award: Patrick Stewart, Logan (2017)

Surprisingly relevant political commentary: They Won’t Forget (1937)

Northern-Southern attitudes in the United States? Even a touch of racial relations? Now if only Warner Bros. kept the defendant in the movie Jewish, as he was in real life.

Underrated: Lonely Are the Brave (1962)

One of the best neo-Westerns you are likely to see.

Worst film title: The Hound That Thought He Was a Raccoon (1960)

For chrissakes, Disney.

Worst Moment: All the rapey-ness of Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

It reminded me why the 1980s is in contention for my least favorite decade of filmmaking.

Stay tuned, the 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards will be up shortly! Thank you all for following. Thank you all for being here for as long as you have. Thank you for supporting all this blog does.

#My Movie Odyssey

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thegirlwhowrotelove-blog · 7 years ago

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Mess’n With tha Funk ch.1

"Jesus Christ..." I said opening up the most elegant door to Korea University "such a pretty place" I said as I inhaled and exhaled once more it was going to be a new life, a new day it's like you begin a new chapter and it's always titled "trap" My name is Nayla I'm African American no I do not tame Lions outside my house because of right now I live in a dorm, and I somewhat hate the outdoors but I do love an exotic animal once and awhile. I'm from Illinois but my mom loves to move as if she's still in the military we moved to Florida right when I was a senior in High School it was really cool over there but barely had a connection, I still lived with the laziest people in one house for 18 years and now I'm on my own for four years and maybe more depending on if Trump or the President of North Korea blows me up sadly but I try not to think of that once and awhile.

I kept walking and every step I took more flyers were handed to me and so many stares, I wouldn't call myself a Beyoncé but then again, we all have our moments in life. "Welcome to South Korea, Seoul Korea University" I read it and kept walking as if I was the most baddest business lady of them all my mom like every other mom either wanted their children to be doctors or lawyers but I really didn't fall in love with that at all. First it was beginning an Artist, then a Fashion Designer I literally had hope in that then High School came and I was close to the deep end of my mind and I stopped doing both, Making Clothes and Drawing I let my mom and good for nothing father get in my head but that's another story to write about. I love watching makeup tutorials, tours around Disney VLOGS, and California VLOGS and one day I'll be doing that getting paid and being Socially Famous. My Friends in Florida would tell me all I need is a Camera and a plan background and good sound and you'll be good but then again life is life meaning you got to do what you got to do to survive in this world I know it has nothing to do with anything now but I know it will later trust me.

I follow the line of people where ever there's a crowd you'd follow well so I've intended to do. Plus I read one sign said "신입생 오리엔테이션" or in English terms "Freshman Orientation" I thought in my mind hey they actually care for foreigners like me but that's not a lazy path to success I know, culture shock I finally felt it hit me so many.... Well yeah but just kind of diverse but if I was to draw how many other races there are I would say not so many and It's probably because I'm like early. I said excuse me to the non-English speakers and excuse me to the English speaking students and sat my ass right down in one of the chairs I went straight on my phone tucked those papers people handed me by my side and just looked at the time, pressing on and off my phone and still looking at the time it was 9:20 am this place should be packed by now and once I thought I spoke to soon the people I walked in with wasn't the same people that walked in with me, I got nervous for a second read the readings to make sure I was right and then 9:25 came just around the corner and everyone was coming in. Was this, a thing coming in five minutes before due I couldn't tell but okay I'm down for it. So many people came towards my aisle and I just sat there looking at mid space till this one pretty Asian girl came to sit with me I couldn't tell if she spoke English or Not for the most part she didn't say anything but then again, I still haven't looked at her face. Is this what Men go through when they see a pretty female "Nervous" she said in English oh good she speaks fluent English "Um" I replied as she smiled I finally looked at her face and I knew we were going to be best friends.

"Stella Ba is my name, um are you Nervous you really don't look like it but I'm trying to make friends, well new ones that is some of friends went up to England to study aboard or America so got to start somewhere right" I sat there in silence and went into reality shocked that she actually blew me a strong conversation Stella Ba was a pretty mid cut black hair babe with the most nicest teeth ever, her voice was like the most loveable voice ever what a wife type, The thing about Stella Ba was she looked like she was going to study in Fashion which she probably was considering the fact that she wore a Kylie Jenner Fitted Dress which was nude and her heels matched with her dress as well I was totally shocked she must've dated a foreigner before to give her such a hook up, her makeup wasn't such a "Korean Woman Statement" it was "American Beauty Statement" Her lips were full and her green eyes glazed with the lights above us oh Stella Ba we have to become friends because were both bad bitches and bad bitches always stick together. She's my official girl crush.

*Stella Ba image Someone similar to her*

snapped out of that thought and smiled back " Oh yeah I came from Florida in United States, Such a pretty state to be in trust and believe but some people would rather prefer Aboard than States because It's a whole lot cheaper" I said with a bright smile back at her again. She smiled at me and shook my hand.

"Acting Major... you"? she said as she looked at me "Communication and Media I might change it to Acting or Fashion Industry I really don't know yet though" I said as she chuckled

"Yeah that was me, but my parents didn't pay for me to go here I ended up paying they wanted me to go to Yonsei or Ajou Medical School".

"You have doctors in your family or something" I said with curiosity, she chuckled again and put her purse from her side to her lap folding her left leg over her right.

"Yeah my mom is always jealous of her sister family, always a competition, You"? She said and the curiosity hit her the same time it hit me.

"I would say that, but it's more of a money thing with my mom, she's a single parent with a Scrub hanging on her shoulders as well, well part-time Scrub that is" I said as she nodded her head

"Oh I get it now" she said "So why don't you study in Fashion Industry you can help me on the side when I walk the red carpets of every awards show" she said with dedication I smiled.

"Well, I love entertaining Fashion, Media, Advertisement" I said as she stopped me in my words "Why don't you act with me trust me it's fun" I looked at her as everyone started clapped my eyes went from her to the stage as the Dean of the School walked on the stage and said he's speech about this College of his and what's it's to offer it was really fun, the rapping Koreans is what they called themselves and it was so cute, then they passed out Jackets for the female and males introduced captain leaders of different sports and I was tired between the intro so I dozed off for a while. The Lights turned back on and I rose up from my seat my butt was breaking I could feel it but it was okay my momma gave me this no doctor helped *Wink* I grabbed my papers and stood in the hall stretching my life out as I heard Stella Ba voice I turned around and there she was and behind her a swoon of boys some were cute and some were well they're moms and dads weren't that horny when they made them. She latched her arm on to mine and held my hand.

" I forgot to ask, What's your name"? She said as her hair flowed in the light air Mother Nature gave us today. "Nayla, but my friends call me L.A. for short"

"Why do they call you L.A."? She said curiously

"Because I was in a gang before I came here one of my reasons" I said looking at her with a straight face as her happy emotion went down as I laughed "I'm just playing around with you Jesus" I said as I kept laughing.

"Well I thought you were for real therefore you need to come ACT with me trust me your good" she said laughing with me "Where are we going"? I said as we kept walking and I heard every foot step she made with those nude colored heels.

"Ummu signing for roommates" She said as I looked at her and we made it to the booth the man glared at Stella as I was no longer the attention seeker but she was. She spoke in Korean and her hand moments gave me a good idea she was talking about me and her sharing a room with looks like hers it'll get you anywhere. I realized Stella was a real Independent Girl, the way she talks, the way she dresses Lord I just met this girl and now she's my best friend. She looked at me and handed the money to the man for our Dorm fee I stopped her and pulled out my own Dorm Fee and she pushed it back to my stomach "No I got it" She said as I looked at her and smiled and gasped at the same time and opened her purse "No here Stella I had my own money here" I said as she declined my money once again.

"Trust me Nayla I got this, your fine" She said with the most angelic smile of all time. She pulled me to the side and asked to have I ever tried "Pork Belly"? I said as she nodded her head yes "All the pork you can get comes with a cheap price too" she said as we sat down at a table with College Freshmen's that attended the same school as us. "Ah Yes, have you ever tried Soju before"? she said with a smile once more as I looked at it and touched the green bottle and watched the water drop from its surface "Nope, I've seen it on K Dramas but never tasted it before I heard it was really bitter though" I said.

"Here" Stella Said as she gave me a little shot glass and poured Soju to the top of the rim some fell from the cup and on to the table I looked at everyone else either they were drunk or going to be I questioned myself as Stella Ba probably read my mind "I'll be the designated driver come on first timer drink up" She said and poured several shots for me to drink as she cooked some more pork on the pan right in front of us. I looked at the pan the juice from the beat bubbled against each other as she poured Soju in the meat as well I thought in my head again they sure do love they're Soju I looked at the Soju Stella Poured in my cup and lifted it up and smelt it, smelled like well bitter she smiled "Go ahead it won't bite well probably pinch the brain cell a little". I looked at her and took a deep breath I would always remember my mom and my aunt always drinking for celebrations to come she would always take a deep breath and drink her vodka in peace and so did the same but once it went down my throat I didn't enjoy it not one bit. I made this face at Stella Ba as she busted into laughter and handed me a plate of meat.

"Here eat well, and welcome to South Korea, trust me the Soju won't taste that bad after like five shots I promise you, once you finish this quarter of education you'll come here and ask for chips and Soju and I'll tag along once and awhile" She said with a smile and ate her food still giggling at my expression on my face. I sat down pressing my phone on and off as Stella Ba reached for my hand "Are you okay"? she said as she drunk another shot of Soju. "Nothing it's a habit for me to do this to my phone" I said as she looked at my phone and grabbed it from my own hands.

"Have a Boyfriend"? She said

"Sadly, No how about you"?

"Use to, we broke up because he wanted to make sure at least when he comes back from the military he'll be okay, we've been together for quite some time my parents loved him so there was nothing wrong with us it was just long distance he sends me mail from my apartment down Ewha and I drive down there to get it sometimes I just don't open them because I miss him so much" She says as her index finger traces the circle shape of the shot glass as she hands me my phone and shows me a picture from "The Instagram" of her and him.

Cute Couple well was "So your single"? I asked again

"Yes, sadly I think that's why my mom wanted me to be a nurse or Doctor or whatever to be near him to be in a good paying field near him but sadly her little Stella Ba wasn't cut out for all that bull shit" she said looking up at me with a smile. Her beauty wasn't fading but her sunny day was It looked like that era for her was sad but this wasn't the time and or the place for her to be gloomy she is my friend and bad bitches are supposed to help each other, So to make her happy I got drunk................

So thank you for reading this is my first official chapter of Mess'n with da Funk gives you all a little character traits for Nayla and her new friend Mrs. Stella Ba and I hope you guys enjoyed don't forget to share this on out to your people about this book, don't forget to share, like and follow me and add this to your library to keep up with updates on the book thank you so much.

#kpocwriters #Wattpad #Jackson Wang

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my18thcenturysource · 8 years ago

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How do you feel about the costumes in the new beauty and the beast? I've seen a couple people shame them over historical inaccuracy what do you think?

Hi there!

Short answer: VERY inaccurate, but I don’t really care :) I’ll watch it anyway.

Long answer:

For starters I think it’s pretty ridiculous to complain about historical accuracy in a Disney film based on an inaccurate animated film. Disney have never ever been a guideline for accuracy. Never.

Now, I really don’t see why to shame them. This is a film based on an animated film from the 90s, this film is only inspired by the 18th century, not actually set in the 18th century, just inspired to give the overall feel of the 1700s (even though everything is supposed to happen in the 1740s, let’s face it, it is not). We have the village, Gaston’s fashion, the Beast’s embroidered coat and that’s pretty all that looks (less vaguely) 18th century both in the animation and in the live action.

What I mean is: what do people shaming this film think? Why shaming a project that from the beginning was not going to deliver nor promised any kind of accuracy?

This is a fantasy film, a fairy tale, the kind of story that does not require historical accuracy (of course, if it had it it would look and feel totally different... perhaps less “Cinderella” and more “Outlander”. I would have enjoyed see such a film.)

Now, as usual I remind everyone that the work of a costume designer is not historical accuracy. A good costume design is to match a period in time (either if it’s a period film or not) and the place in space with each character. Good costume design talks about the character and sets him/her in time and space. So we can have great costume design without being totally accurate (”Bram Stocker’s Dracula”, 1992, costume design by the legendary Eiko Ishioka):

Costume design being rather accurate but pretty awful (La La Land, 2016, costume design by Mary Zophres) For me this film’s costume design is the poorest and laziest I’ve seen in a while:

or inaccurate and rather “weird” design (Frontier, 2016, costume design by Michael Ground, I loved this series but the costume was rather... wrong):

Now, for The Beauty and the Beast (based in the animation) looks rather good (usually not my cup of tea, but I have eyes and I will not shame a good work just because is not the kind of thing I like):

Of course I would prefer that it looked more for a cinema screen than for a musical theatre stage, but it’s pure joy for our inner child.

Also, the costume design is by Jacqueline Durran, who we LOVE. You know who this woman is? Well, the costume designer for Anna Karenina (2012), Pride and Prejudice (2006), Mr Turner (2014) and Atonement (2008); and she was an Oscar nominee for all of these films and won for Anna Karenina (that fits in the category of great costume design without being totally accurate).

So, I really think this film will not be amazing (apparently is a perfect remake of the animated movie, so there will be nothing new nor any kind of risks), but I love the cast and I the flashback to childhood so I’ll go see it :)

What all of you think about it?

#excuse my rant #it's just not cool to shame a good work #just because you don't like it #there's a difference between a good work you don't like and an actually bad and lazy design #and this film's design is not lazy nor bad #the beauty and the beast #costume design #period drama #not exactly period drama #jacqueline durran #gravitationalconflict

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caredogstips · 7 years ago

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How to get a smart home without cracking the bank

If you sawSmart House, the first half-hour possibly seemed like the ideal imagination of the future. Forgettime-travel, flying gondolas, orbionic robots. The 1999 Disney film promised a home fully-automated to play every menial duty and task.

The tenants of Smart House never had to clean a food, run out of milk, or are concerned about desegregating colors and white-hots ever again. PAT( short for Personal Applied Technology ), the artificial intelligence system with a 1950 s homemaker persona, took care of everything, from telling you the climate to hinting new video displays. Before the millennium development goals, long before we had Siri, Netflix, Spotify, Seamless or Jawbone, PAT was all these acts, all at once.And then, in a odd Orwellian turn, PAT became too much. Without giving away any spoilers, Smart House serves as a campy rant about the jeopardies of our over-reliance on technologya warning that, even back in 1999, was hard to take seriously, and in 2015 seems almost quaint.

Luckily, the Internet of Things has been around for a few years and has yet to take over anyones life, at the least unwillingly. And in the past couple of years, a handful of startups have developed to movement smart dwelling tech from a luxury good to something accessible for the average consumer. Vacuum-clean robots, coffee toilets you are able to set with your smartphone, and self-watering cups for your plants “re no longer” just for Silicon Valley mogul and their ilk.

Here got a few new Internet of Things devices that they are able to upgrade their own lives without violating the bank.

1) Perch

Perch/ Google Play

What if you are able turn on your phone or laptop into a protection camera? Or use it to turn on your lamps or television? Perch is a free app that are linked designs you already own for both residence surveillance and automation. You can make sure your kids are really doing homework like they say they are or move a light on in your front room to prevent robbers when you’reworking sometime at the office.

Perch CEO Andrew Cohen told Daily Dot the inspiration for a residence monitoring work came to him after a renter took over his home. “I gazed on Airbnb and discovered our own live was on the roll, ” Cohen recalled.

Following that happen, Cohen decided to create his own ad hoc surveillance arrangement, sans video. He invested a number of magnetic sensors throughout his property, including the doors and openings. Rather than solacing his paranoia, the end result pointed up was helping to it.

Perch/ Google Play

“I found out my front doorway had been opened 16 hours in the distance of three hours, ” Cohen answered. It turned out exactly to be his kids playing. It was then Cohen realized that video had to be an important component of Perch.

Cohen, formerly of associate shortener bit.ly, teamed up with a group of bit.ly co-workers to develop Perch out of the SamsungAccelerator. With Perch, Cohen wanted to take a software first approach to the Internet of Things and create an open method with no proprietary hardware. In short, Perch works with the inventions you already have. There’s no need to shell out for a special Perch webcam or magnetic sensor. A forthcoming premium version of Perch will volunteer video storage for a cost, but the beta version includes seven days of free video storage.

Another perk of Perch is that allows you to communicate through its interface by video converse. Is your bird-dog ruminating up your furniture? Are your minors watching television at 3pm when they’re supposed to be doing homework? With Perch, you are able to fire up a video schmooze and tell both parties to quit.

Currently the Perch app is only available forAndroiddevices, though plans are in the works for aniOSversion. Perch is available for free on Google Play.

2) Click and Grow

Welcome to the Click& Grow gang, @folkmagazine! They’ve too cooked up a special cope for the up-and-coming Click& Growers – head over to their Instagram account to find out more! #clickandgrow #folkmagazine #smartherbgarden #summer #green #urban #space #technology #urbangardening #startup #geek #cool #awesome #healthy #food #happy #home #nature #natural #beautiful #garden #photooftheday

A photo posted by Click& Grow (@ clickandgrow) on Jul 30, 2015 at 8: 43 am PDT

Never guilt yourself for letting your houseplants croak again.

WithClick and Grow, a line of self-watering smart potties with LED lighting, even the laziest urban gardener can enjoy the pleasure of a well-stocked herb garden-variety. The Smart Herb Gardenstarter pack comes with a container, “smart soil”, and three basil cartridges. Just fill up the sea tank, put a cartridge, plug it in, and you’re adjusted. The LED light has a timer that ensures your flowers get 16 hours of light per day.

The Tugger and Smallie saga sustains. Follow their city gardening adventures @smalliepillar! #saturday #clickandgrow #dogs #puppy #basil #lemonbalm #thyme #smartherbgarden #nasa #technology #happy #cute #spring #herbs #urban #urbangardening #love #home #cozy

A photo posted by Click& Grow (@ clickandgrow) on Feb 28, 2015 at 4:50 am PST

Another perk of Click and Grow is its various forms of flower cartridges, which include strawberry, chili pepper, stevia, peppermint, and an “experimental” cartridge where you can try germinating other diversities of weeds. A delegates of Click and Grow told the Daily Dot that the company strategies on exhausting even more collections of weed cartridges by the end of this month. A large-scale, family-size pattern is also in the works.

TheClick and Grow“Smart Herb Garden” starter gearis $59.95. Additional plant cartridges are available in packs of three for $19.95.

Chilies dont ever have to be an intense crimson or dark-green: there are a lot yellowed potpourruss, includes the red-hot lemon, which takes its refer from the yellowest return of all. Chilies of this dye are great when fried or allows one to do jellies. #clickandgrow #clickandgrowme #click #grow #green #plants #environment #uae

A photo posted by Click& Grow Middle East (@ clickandgrow_me) on Oct 14, 2015 at 8: 31 am PDT

3) Emberlight

Emberlight/ YouTube

Emberlightwill increase the I.Q. of the lighting organisation you already have. Its Wi-Fi- and Bluetooth-enabled smart light-footed socket will turn any dimmable light bulb into a smart light-colored. Employing your smartphone, you can adjust the lighting of your entire room or a single room.

Emberlight

Dim the light-footeds in the front room while you relax in the evening, or era them to turn off or on at different points in the day. Emberlight can also automatically return your lamps on for you when you arrive home.

Emberlight is available for pre-orderat $49 per socket.

4) iRobot Braava 380 t

iRobot/ YouTube

The better vacuuming robots are notoriously pricey. TheRoomba 980, which is Wi-Fi-enabled so you can give it to scavenge while you’re at work, is priced at a staggering $899.99. Thankfully for the budget-conscious, cheaper electronic residence cleansers exist, especially for those who don’t have carpets. The iRobot Braava 380 t, made by the same companionship that produces the Roomba, is reasonably priced at $269.99, and it’s smart enough to avoid stairs and neighbourhood rugs. The Braava 380 t applies microfiber or disposable cleanup cloths to pick up grunge, junk, and hair from your floorings. It exempts its own cleaning answer and can “damp mop” a zone of 350 sq. feet for two-and-a-half hours. It can also “dry mop” an area of 1000 sq. hoofs for four hours.

iRobot/ Youtube

You can buy the iRobot Braava 380 t for $269.99 on Amazon. The Braava 320 is even cheaper on Amazonat $142.99, though it can only cover up to 800 sq. hoofs and has lower extended experiences. For the truly cash-strapped, there’s the O-Cedar O-Duster Robotic Floor Cleaner, which is $24.99.

5) Pawly

Pawly/ Youtube

If long hours at the role are keeping you from spending time with Rover, a robotic puppy sitter by the identify of Pawlycan help. The roving robot has a built-in microphone, orator and high-defnition camera.

Playtime with Taylor at our place! #TGIF #DogsLovePawly pic.twitter.com/ a6XJZwPhMH

Pawly (@ myPawly) May 1, 2015

Dog( and “cat-o-nine-tail”) owneds can check in on their pets while they’re away. Pawly lets you speak to, take photographs of, and wander around the house with your pet. Pawly also includes a laser ray, a consider dispenser, and a ball launcher.

Pawly/ Youtube

The makers of Pawly told the Daily Dot that the robots will be $199, and they hope to draw them available for purposes of purchase in mid-to-late 2016. You can sign up for Pawly’smailing list to get updates.

6) Sesame

Sesame

Fancy smart-alecky fastens that run upward of $200 now have a low-budget opponent. Sesameis an easy-going device that attaches to your prevailing fasten. You can lock and open your entrance through the Sesame app on your smartphone. The app has several helpful features, such as letting you check to see if you recollected to lock your doorway and sending you a notification whenever your doorway opens or closes.

Sesame

A Sesame lock with Bluetooth capability is priced at $99, while a Wi-Fi-enabled Sesame lock is $149. Sesameis currently available for pre-order, with an estimated carrying date of November 2015.

7) Mr. Coffee Smart Optimal Brew Coffeemaker with WeMo

Mr. Coffee/ Youtube

If you’re sick of fiddling with your coffee maker in the early hours of the morning, try a coffeemaker that enables you drink from bed.

The Mr. Coffee Smart Optimal Brew Coffeemaker with WeMolets you schedule brew times, sends you a notification when the coffee is ready, and even reminds you when to change your irrigate filter. Just download the WeMo app, which is available on bothiOSand Google Play, to open up your coffeemaker’s new Wi-Fi capabilities.

Complete and total #coolness. Hello coffee all the time any time! #coffeelover #inlove #wemo

A photo posted by Mr. Coffee (@ mrcoffee) on Nov 19, 2014 at 6:15 am PST

The Mr. Coffee Smart Optimal Brew Coffeemaker is available for $134.96 at Amazon.

Taken as a whole, it’s not quite Smart House , but it’s close.

Photo via Hans Drexler/ Flickr( CC by 2.0 )

The post How to get a smart home without cracking the bank appeared first on caredogstips.com.

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costperclickadverts-blog · 8 years ago

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The Way For Transforming Landing Page Headlines

Have to enhance conversions together with your landing page? Take into consideration modifying your headline. The rationale? Headline alterations keep the electrical power to produce a 10%+ elevate, even though obtaining all of - oh, I dunno - five full seconds to change. There is nearly no substantially significantly far better bang for the buck, as headlines are amid several most elementary elements of advertisements and landing web pages to alter. What could make your profession even significantly less tough is your headlines truly must not be particular. Here’s why together with five confirmed headline formulation to adhere to. Reverse to well-known notion; the very best advertising is not usually probably the most innovative. That point was illustrated by a fascinating anecdote even though within the extraordinary Designed to remain. In ‘99, two hundred in the perfect advertisements finished up scrutinized by Israeli researchers. These are previously the top about the most significant, the finalists and award winners from enormous marketing and advertising and promoting competitions. Astonishingly, there take place for being a whole excellent offer of similarities among them. The reality is, 89% of this sort of adverts may properly be categorized into 6 classes or “templates”! If that statistic was not lovely enough, the equal scientists seemed at a special established of two hundred advertisements that hadn’t obtained any awards. The place simply, these were the losers. As well as the scientists were only able to classify 2% of such. Truly feel it or not, that is Fantastic info. Primarily because of the fact it indicates you truly have a tendency never to ought to be some copywriting ninja to provide adverts or landing web net internet pages that have out. You'll go on and just take the same elementary notion, rework it making use of an amount of unique formulation, also as your odds of accomplishment go up significantly. That is why incredible completely totally free sources like Portent’s Title Maker, SumoMe’s Headline Generator, and CoSchedule’s Headline Analyzer may be extremely worthwhile. If you come about to get browsing for to have un-stuck and un-suck your headlines, properly listed here are five spots to start. The best business people can also be frequently the laziest. Because of the easy, simple fact, there is no reinvent the wheel as soon as your buyers can execute the execute to suit your would like. Currently being an illustration, substituting somebody happy subscriber’s immediate estimate of “Yours will probably be the only publication I truly read” as being the new landing net online page headline resulted within of a 24.31% conversion price tag enhance for Laura Roeder. Guidelines work as a risk-reversal, increasing the trustworthiness of the declare becoming created by employing a neutral third social accumulating to introduce the price about the provider or merchandise. Several numerous several years inside of the previously, Basecamp (previously 37Signals) uncovered this out first-hand although functioning conversion examinations for his or her Highrise CRM merchandise. They switched up their typical, computer software plan feature/benefit-driven landing web page to secure a cleanse graphic about the true client, adopted by using a quick quotation for that headline that summed up the principal get her firm obtained. The tip result? A 102.5% conversion improve. You will be able to get testimonial particulars from, you comprehend, really converting to buyers, uncovering (a) what their daily targets or aspirations analysis like, just before (b) inspecting the issues or cache components that are halting them from achieving said goals. 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Buffer analyzed a few within the most favored phrases and phrases that seem to be before pointed out and regularly after once again while in the handful of about the most significant executing headlines. You could foresee “How To” or some checklist variation to be almost certainly essentially the most well-liked phrase. However, they weren’t (we’ll reach folks within a tiny little bit). Being an alternative, almost certainly primarily essentially the most popular phrase utilized in these viral headlines was: “This is.” Yup. Astonishing, suited? Not a lot in the event you truly quit thinking about it nevertheless. That phrase hints or indicates at something to return. It teases, pulling back again the curtain simply enough to provide you with a sample (nonetheless halting seeking freely giving the complete plot). 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How about a much more crucial occasion? Several a few years inside of the earlier, the Conversion Expense Specialists labored with Moz (who were, however, SEOmoz inside of the time) to totally rethink a landing web page that resulted in earlier pointed out $1 million in new earnings. Amid numerous essential changes they produced was to alter up the headline, heading from the regular “buy now” kind headline for your excellent: “When eBay, Disney, and Marriott desire Analysis motor optimization assist, here’s the things they do...” Piggybacking on productive product names proper absent consist of trustworthiness to this headline, while simultaneously making an open up loop within the back again of one's thoughts that should discover how to emulate these successful companies. Your widget exists to take care of an issue. 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The rehab landing page headline sums that up efficiently. 1st evoke emotion, then rationalize with logic. Each and every headline need to result in emotion and each sub-headline must when yet again that up with logic. The landing page headline sums that up efficiently.

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