#laventadorn's personal posts

[laventadorn]

Hi!! I just started reading TNER & your writing is amazing! It is crazy to me how long ago you started & how I just randomly found your story right after you updated it!! I hope all is well and am wishing you the best! I never really liked snape before but the way you write is amazing, you truly get the characters & I love seeing what you come up with!

I hope all is well in your personal life and that you are in a good place. It’s strange how different the world looked in 2013 as opposed to now, and it’s so interesting reading HP stuff in 2023, that makes me feel the same way reading the books as a child did!! I literally haven’t put my phone down since I started!

If you have a cash app or venmo or any other way for us readers to support you, I would love to!!!

thank youu for this sweet message! <3 <3 tbh sometimes i'll just be bopping along in my day... sitting in traffic... making a grilled cheese sandwich... and then my brain reminds me "TEN YEARS" and i want to cry tears of blood i was rereading my own stuff recently and in one chapter note i was like "wow twenty whole months!! can't believe it" my sweet summer child

it really is a different world now! i mean there's the outward world, and the fandom world -- i've been in hp fandom for at least twenty years, but so much has happened just in the last two....

anyway! welcome to snape life >:3 actually it's interesting now that hp itself is anathema, don't see as many posts dumping trash on snape and snape fans lol

i'm a luddite but i do have a ko-fi for as long as that's still alive!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/laventadorn

fake p.s. this ask made me smile <3

[fluxweedstem]

A list of my favorite Snily fics, just because

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6613973/1/The-Long-Road-Home The Long Road Home. This is my all-time favorite (so far). It’s over 800,000 words (nearly the length of the entire HP series) and I read it in the span of 3 weeks. It’s my favorite because it consists of adult Snily that reunite after their falling out in school, it follows events of HP canon very closely during Harry’s school years until the end, it has alive!Regulus who is bffs with Snape, Snape isn’t as miserable as canon because, well, he didn’t cause Lily to die, and women actually are attracted to him. I always love reading a fic when women are attracted to Snape, idk 😂 The fic is very well written and I am not usually a fan of OCs but the author had me caring for everyone in this fic! I shed many tears during emotional moments but it has a happy ending and even a sweet Christmas one shot that takes place after the events in the story. It’s Snily centric of course but to its core it is an ensemble fic and the author handles it very well. I liked reading a Snape that’s in character to a degree but also not completely, hopelessly miserable. I won’t spoil anything but let me just say a certain young character completely captured my heart. This fic has become my canon practically. I wish I had friends to fangirl over it but alas, a tumblr post must suffice. If anyone reads this or has read it, please come to my dms 😂

https://archiveofourown.org/works/716010/chapters/1325814 Obscura Nox Animae was my first ever Snily fic! I was reading HP book 1 for the first time around Aug or Sep 2021 and thought how cool it would be to read from Snape’s POV since he’s written in such a negative light in HP. I came across this fic. Heatherlly has a wonderful way of writing that is hard to come by! I even read one of her SSHG fics because I wanted more of her content, and I am typically 110% SNILY ONLY trash 😂 She seems to always have such original ideas and writes the characters SO well. She can write drama, angst, action, romance, and humor all so well. I always enjoy her works but since this was my first, it’s on my fave list!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527821 Vox Severus by Adante825. Oh how I wish this was more than a one shot!! Gods above, let this fic from 2017 become a series PLEASE!!! I just found this one a few days ago as I write this post, and absolutely loved it! I personally prefer fics of adult Snily, like the ones mentioned above, but this one was so, so, so much fun! Severus’s voice changes during his years at Hogwarts and everyone notices. I love a fic where people actually find Sev attractive!!! It’s so fun! And… relatable 😏

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844247/chapters/31840572 Come Once Again and Love Me by laventadorn packs a hard punch in just 25 chapters. I didn’t think I’d like a fic where Sev dies and comes back to life in the past, especially as a teen with the mind of a 38-year-old, but the author handles that with an interesting twist! I absorbed this fic in a day. I couldn’t put it down!! It’s very well-written and in-character. Definitely in my top 5 and is a must-read for Snily fans!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37255837 Show Me Family by @zivitz “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE” but she did it for me!! My twitter friend from the Kabby fandom posted a while back asking for fic requests. I jokingly requested a Snily fic (knowing she wasn’t in the fandom). Being familiar with the characters and up for the challenge, she to my surprise obliged! And blew my expectations out of the water. This fun, fluffy fic packs a lot of tooth-rotting sweetness in just 647 words. Ziv knows children well, so of course she writes them well! With all the unpredictable and funny things that kids say along the way. I love reading a softer Severus, especially Dad!Sev!! And domestic Snily is always so fun. I love them being comfortable with one another. If you’re a snily shipper, severitus lover, and enjoy reading babyfic, this is a short but absolutely lovely read 💞

https://archiveofourown.org/works/501886/chapters/881306 Essence by VR_Trakowski and the sequel Threshold https://archiveofourown.org/works/550550/chapters/980834 are two very lovely fics about a teenaged Severus who’s too afraid to tell Lily his true feelings, but works tirelessly to create the perfect gift for her. Of course, if it didn’t have a happy ending, it wouldn’t be a fic I would recommend, but I’ll keep these reviews spoiler-free! It’s a really interesting AU and is written so wonderfully! I really like fics that show Snily’s differences but how those differences really help complement each individual. Their love is written very beautifully and sensually, and can bring you to feel emotional as you read! Like many other Snily fics, it does not paint the marauders in a positive light. Be sure to pay attention to TW in the sequel and read at your own discretion! Highly recommend! I actually just finished the series today and am having withdrawals.

That’s all for now!

That being said, I’m always on the lookout for a new Snily fic to read! Like I said, my most favorite is The Long Road Home where Snily are adults, most events of HP canon occur (besides Lily’s death, obvi) and I love a happy, domestic ending for Snily. If anyone has any suggestions for completed fics, especially if they’re similar to those requirements, please send them my way. 😁

[darthvaporwave]

hey check out the character page on the disney website

[vsilas]

Hi! I love all of your posts about Snape, and your art is perfect. 🥺 The difference in animation for the drawing is so incredible, keep doing this incredible work! My question is, if you could recommend fanfics like 'The Pauper Prince' that give Snape more meaning and a person who gives the love he deserves ❤️ Could be SnapexRemus SnapexHarry (and sorry for the long comment 👉🏻👈🏻 I always go on your tumblr to see your recommendations

Thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying my art :D

A complicated traumatized Severus learning how to be loved by somebody is my absolute favorite thing in this world, so I definitely have a few of those to recommend to you! Here are a few of my favorite Severus x Harry fics:

Chrysalis by starcrossedgirl

In which Harry is a tad messed up after the war, but Snape gives him a run for his money. Or: an epic tale of PTSD, recovery and gay porn! (For detailed warnings, please see author's notes.)

Never-Ending Road by @laventadorn​

AU. When Lily died, Snape removed his heart and replaced it with a steel trap. But rescuing her daughter from the Dursleys in the summer of ’92 is the first step on a long road to discovering this is less true than he’d thought. A girl!Harry story, starting in Chamber of Secrets and continuing through Goblet of Fire. Future Snape/Harriet.

Rapture by mia_ugly

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

Making Do by ravenkira (English translation of Смотрящий)

After the war, Severus Snape tries to find another way to deal with his abominable life.

Close Encounters by bleedcolor and Likelightinglass

Years after the war, Harry Potter and Severus Snape meet and fall in lust, then love.

Too bad they don’t know who they’ve fallen for.

I haven’t really read as many Severus x Remus fics, but in addition to TAB, I also really love these two:

Alive and Unwell by @littl-prince​

Severus Snape finds himself saved by an unlikely source of help, and presented with choices he never thought he would have.

An AU of the Battle of Hogwarts and the immediate aftermath through multiple POV's, from Ronald Weasley to Nymphadora Tonks. But the main thread follows two men, who have found each other time and time again - and this time, might just be on the way to finding themselves.

there is a light that never goes out by fortunedays

He thinks of Evan’s last request, a promise hastily made in the summer twilight of a mangled youth. He hadn’t meant it at the time, not truly. Never intended to let someone in as he had Evan, never intended to live long enough to need it.

He won’t admit that he needs the protection. But looking at Remus knelt before him, hands clinging to his in silent oath, Severus wants it.

Or, how Severus handles war, pain, and something like love.

Thank you for sending me this ask! I love recommending fics to people and I hope you enjoy these :)

[nny11writes]

can you do a fic rec for family oriented tcw fics? I feel like I've read everything lol

Hey anon, thanks for stopping by! I can certainly try, but I’m not sure exactly what you mean by family oriented. Just, like, generally across the genres Imma try. But I will say as I was doing this, several of these are not strictly TCWs. Some are actually outside that completely but still include the main trio and Padme as major characters so I’ve put them in here in case you’d like to give them a whirl.

My absolute #1 suggestion for under appreciated family fics:“Where I’ve Always Been” series by Gabby (Kirahsoka) 

It’s not clone wars exclusive, it does build from TCW’s forwards and is both a barrissoka fic and semi-medieval AU. But you wanna talk family oriented? This series is THE BEST FUCKING THING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone comes together and there’s a constant focus on family first. Gabby does a great job at address the ups and downs of family, and always writes relationships that are either A. Healthy as Fuck and Beautiful, or B. Unhealthy With Everyone Involved Trying. I love this series. I could probably write a whole fucking long ass post about this series lol! It’s got god damned everything, Luminara is amazing, Obi-Wan is fantastic, the original characters I would die for. The thing that might be lacking for you in here is there isn’t a lot of Padme or Anakin. There’s more Anakin than Padme, but he’s really not a main character of this series. Ahsoka, Barriss, and their daughters really become the focal point but I’m not lying when I say basically everyone fucking shows up to this one. It’s amazing and I beg you to give it the chance it deserves, it’s SUPRA, and you will understand what the hell I mean when you get in deep enough lol!

Also straight up, up front, Mylordshesacactus and alexkablob have both written some fantastic barrissoka fics that often also have a focus on family (looking at you Brave AU and Beauty and the Beast AU). If you haven’t looked at their stuff, and don’t mind the barrissoka, I think their works are fantastic!

NOW ONTO THE REST OF THE RECS

“Stuck in the Middle With You” by victoria_p (musesfool)  is a fucking delight of the trio having to share a bed platonicly (or however that’s spelled ig??). It’s got great humor and the way the three of them are just so well written is excellent. I love re-reading this one!

"Sometimes a family is a cultural anthropologist, a PoliSci PhD, a snippy sophomore, a golden cat, a Snorkie, and a guy who just wants to build a really smart robot” by all these lovelies: bessyboo, cantarina, exmanhater, forzandopod, heartequals (savvygambols), Opalsong, reena_jenkins, sophinisba, theleanansidhe!!! This is actually a pod fic/audio book, but I have trouble listening to stories so I am SO glad they included a transcript. This shit is gold! It’s sweet, it’s funny, it’s ridiculous. Anakin and Ahsoka run a youtube channel for “Waffle or Waffle Not!” where they pour various things into a waffle iron to see what works. Padme and Obi-Wan show up too, as it is obianidala. I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I love this fic and the dynamics between everyone.

“The Living Force” by mathelode (engmaresh) is quick look at Anakin teaching Ahsoka how to choose insects and bugs to eat. There’s some crude humor (barf jokes mostly) but I do like the way Anakin and Ahsoka interact!

“Of Love and Family” by Ferith12 is exactly what is says on the tin. All about Ahsoka and the family she finds along the way.

“Saw The Waves But Not The Tides” by Meiloorun  is a bit dialogue heavy but focuses on Anakin and Rex talking about war and family when they get a transmission from Mandalore. It’s a really nice fic to me, feels cozy!

“Little One” by Fawkes_Rinzler  is a great Plo Koon & Ahsoka Tano fic about sharing a language together. They’re family and this is the hill I will DIE ON.

Parts 3-5 of the “Pesky Birthday Gifts” by peskylilcritterare short and sweet little slice of life fics that aren’t explicitly family oriented but I read then that way. It’s totally possible the rest of the series is great too, I just haven’t had as much interest to read them/look at them (some of it is fan art I think).

I know this is not a TCW only fic recs, but! I swear my stand by these days, “Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns” and “Shifting Sands” are both fantastic Leia centered fics by chancecraz! There’s a lot of focus on what makes family, and family relationships/importance in both of them so I’d highly recommend them. They are VERY long, and there is plenty of drama and angst inside so it’s not family in that fluffy happy fam way all the time. Vader, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka are all major players, as is Rex. But it /is/ more OG and Rebels than TCW. Still I’d say give them a read!

The “Jedi Shmi AU” series by MirandaTam covers more than just TCW, but a lot of it does take place during that time frame. There’s some great Tatooine culture building in the series and I really love the way the characters are imagined in this AU. “Shwiya Root Soap” by sharkcar is a great look at the dynamic between Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Padme. It’s a relaxed feeling fic to me. No high angst drama, and a lot of really nice long hold points with characters working through a lot. There’s still some action and romance etc, so it’s not sedate. A well balanced one I think! It is 1st person PoV which I know can throw some folks off but I think it’s fantastic.“The Light You Leave Behind” by laventadorn is a post Ahsoka leaving the order fic, and did in large part plant the seeds of Padme Says No, which exploded after I saw a post here on tumblr that was *mwah*. It is unfinished with the last update in 2016, I still rec it! It’s got a good mix of things going on genre wise, and I love the way Padme was written in this one.

The whole “b sides (SW lawyer AU)” by triviaseesaw (ladydaredevil)  kicks ASS. It is a daredevil AU but you don’t have to know anything about that to enjoy it. I also really like that this one is multiple SW fandom friendly. There are stories focusing on prequels, og, and sequels, as well as the animated series but you can sort of pick and choose which ones you want to actually follow. There’s fluff, drama, angst, the whole nine yards dude. There’s a lot of focus on what is family and how to connect with one another. It is vaderkin status tho so just a heads up!Okay, look, “good opinion once lost”  also by triviaseesaw (ladydaredevil) isn’t completely a family oriented fic, it is a barrissoka fic. But there is still family stuff involved! It is a Pride and Prejudice AU, and while I will admit I never got into P&P, I love this story and I had to rec it

Alright, I need to just rec all of triviaseesaw (ladydaredevil)’s stuff. While some of it is more romance focused, almost everything still includes a good cast of people in really unique and fun AU’s and settings. This is probably not what you’re look for but I realized I was gonna rec more of their work and so here’s the link.“all the words you do not speak” listed via orphan_account, is not a happy family fic. It is hurt/comfort post Rako Hardeen, but it focuses on the Trio and their bonds so I think it would still work out.

The “Circle ‘round the Sun” by risinggreatness is one that I remember loving. I went nuts every time I saw that series name pop up in my emails as updated. But I will also be honest, it’s got so many entries that it’s all become a mush of “oh HELL yeah” in my head. Like, I wanna go feral over the characters and relations but I can’t explain why. I do know that it deals across a lot of times and relationships which is part of why I liked it, but it is focused on TCW.

[lehdenlaulu]

Hi! I wanted to ask you (if you don't mind, you don't have to do it if you don't want to) some of the SW blogs that you follow because my dashboard really lacks SW material right now (i really miss it) and I really like your blog and your opinions about SW so I know I'll probably like the blogs you follow. Thanks!! :)

Ooh, I’d be glad to share!

I mean, I don’t follow a ton of SW blogs because the drama factor tends to be… high. But let’s see…

@swnews Is an excellent place to start. It’s a general SW blog with no real ship bias and you can usually find all the latest news and trailers and pictures, plus gifsets and fan art etc. etc.

Then there’s @aimmyarrowshigh for all your Poe Dameron needs, plus gorgeous SW lore moodboards etc. @laventadorn is the sweetest too (she’s a multishipper who posts some Rey/o if that’s an issue, but she has my personal stamp of approval). @saintvader is definitely fun, great artist too. Then there’s @doomcannotbethisadorable and @majorelorne and probably some others I’m blanking on right now but will add if they come to mind. :D

All of them are multishipper and multifandom blogs to some degree (and most of them are damerey-friendly, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem for you?), but they post/reblog lots of Star Wars. :)

[gffa]

OKAY, I’m going to respond to a bunch of this and probably do a whole lot of navel-gazing, as well as work really hard not to feel guilty about kind of publicly melting down a little bit.  But @forcearama was kind enough to reframe something important for me and I realized that sometimes struggling through this stuff in a public way can be helpful, for showing that other people go through a lot of stuff and can still come out of it. Warning for a whole lot of navel-gazing and is probably only really interesting to like a handful of people, but also maybe if you’re struggling with feeling like fandom is worth it, that you feel like you’re just constantly dodging people throwing shit at you, that you recognize they have the right to dislike or like whatever they do, but sometimes it gets really hard to reconcile that with your own place in fandom, then COME SIT BY ME AND WE’LL COMMISERATE ABOUT IT.  Because it’s a hard struggle, but one that I think will help us understand ourselves better, if we use it that way. Also, like, a buttload of replies.

I’m at a difficult place in my fannish life at the moment, because I’m struggling between “I just want to hang out with my friends and talk about our stuff together and be silly and/or cry about feelings!” versus “if you want a happy place in fandom, you have to build it yourself”, which means reaching out or establishing your corner, like “hey, I wrote a bunch of Obikin fic recs if you want to check them out!” versus “once you put that out there, you have to deal with antis”. I’m struggling with recognizing that you can’t control the way other people act in fandom (nor should you!), you can’t really even stop them from trying to argue with you about stuff you’re not interested in arguing about.  You can block them, but if you’re running a public blog, you have to deal with people publicly checking it out, even if it’s to the point of creeping on your blog for a long time, so long as they’re not harassing you, you have to put your big nerd undies on and deal with it or not put yourself out there VERSUS that I am still just a single person looking to enjoy my fandom with other people who enjoy it in the same way. Which normally I’m good with!  If someone who hates something I enjoy is stalking or hate reading my blog, well, that’s their choice and I’m just going to continue on posting about the things I love. But sometimes that does get hard because we’re all human.  Sometimes I feel really Watched because I’ve established a presence on-line (it feels conceited to say that, but I think it’s true, any time you write a lot of meta about things that have a lot of both pro- and anti- fans for it), sometimes I just get exhausted by all the negativity, sometimes I get tired of how we’re arguing over made up space stories when real world political stuff is so completely horrible. Sometimes I just get really upset that we should be able to set boundaries for ourselves and that the way each person wants to interact with fandom, however they get enjoyment out of it (let’s set aside that I’m clearly not talking about spouting actual hate speech, obv.) but that’s not always respected. Sometimes I use spite as a motivation to continue on, like, “OHO YOU HATE MY JEDI HUSBAND?  LET ME TELL YOU ALL THE WAYS I LOVE HIM, ALSO HERE ARE SOME GIFS OF HIS HANDSOME FACE.” and that works great for awhile!  But there are days where it fails and what am I left with then?  An attempt to be positive that doesn’t always feel rewarded? But I guess that’s when it’s most important to continue being kind and to continue enjoying what I enjoy for itself.  And that I shouldn’t feel guilty about stumbling with this sometimes, because we all stumble and the important thing is to step back and look at ourselves and what we need to do, to weigh in our minds what’s worth it, that we need to look inwards to find the balance of what we can let go of, what we can live with, and what we need to walk away from for our own health.  We have to look at ourselves and understand what we want to accomplish as a larger goal and weigh that against how we treat each other and how we present ourselves and what’s best for us in the long term. We have to decide where the line is between being passionate about something that’s important to us, whether made up space stories or real life issues, wherever you land on the gamut, and being respectful to others, treating them in a decent way.  And learn to live with, fight back against (and how you do so), or walk away from that fandom is not going to always draw those same lines as you are going to. And I think understanding these things about myself will let me get back to being chill (look, just because I scream in caps and flail about how much I’m crying over fictional characters, that doesn’t mean I’m not chill!!!11!) and hopefully being warmer and friendlier again. This probably seems weird and out of left field, but it does all tie together in my mind, especially with the whole aspect of “So what’s the aim of this blog?” that’s been on my mind lately.  Which seems silly, I know!  But, as mentioned, I’m from the school of fandom that firmly believes, “If you want a fun corner of fandom, you’re going to have to do the work to build it yourself.”  But that comes with a lot of complications and a lot of navel-gazing to figure out how to deal with them and stumbling sometimes. So, if you’re like me, and you sometimes just get fed up, you look back on the last couple of weeks of your blog and it’s not quite what you want it to be, that’s okay.  You can take a deep breath and refocus yourself.  Or if you know who you are already and are just tired of whatever in fandom, you can also come sit by me and kvetch about it for awhile until you turn to happier things again, because I think it’s important to show that, yeah, sometimes we get into moods and that’s when we reach out and hear that other people are going through a similar feeling and you know you’re not alone. Realizing you’re not alone, that you can rise above the murk of your own feelings and the tangle that is fandom, is helpful to me.  Hearing from people who say that I’ve made them smile or been a positive person to hang out with or that they like my fic recs or that I can give them feelings is so, so kind and sweet of you.  That I can reach out and say I’m feeling like I want to just leave this goddamned hell pit of a fandom sometimes and realizing that puts you in a difficult position because what do you SAY to that?  “No, I don’t want you to leave!” is guilt tripping the person who may need to do so!  But it also puts me in the position of, “Well, if I don’t leave then it looks like I was just fishing for attention!” But I’m human.  Sometimes I’m going to talk about how I’m considering leaving, because I genuinely was, and if it was an attempt to reach out for some connections to other people, to get reminders that I’m not alone either, then maybe it wasn’t perfectly handled, but I can suck it up and sheepishly say, yeah, I fell back down that depression hole again and it makes me act that way sometimes, I’m working on not doing it so much, but it happens.  Maybe I can be an example to show others that they’re not alone in how you’re going to trip sometimes, but you can climb back out again, you can find your way to feeling it’s worth it again. And I can get some navel-gazing time out of it and this will be one more step towards understanding myself and my feelings and that’s worth it, too.  It’s something I can use to exorcise my frustration from the last week or two and remember who I want to be and what I want to do. So each and every person who reached out and listened to me, who took time out to say something kind, who simply just cared, I want you to know that you’re doing the lord’s work to help people.  And that if I can provide even a smidgen of something good to this fandom or something kind, then it’s because people exactly like you have helped me along the way. AND NOW A BUTTLOAD OF REPLIES.

@laventadorn said:

i feel you, friend; yesterday i unfollowed a long-time mutual bc they posted shipping discourse calling shippers like me “gross.” and i was like, wow, really? guess what i’m not gonna read anymore. but then i found a great discourse-free blog that posts stuff about bb8 and porgs!! so idk; this is just a commiseration comment bc people lose sight of what’s important, which is treating real people well and enjoying stuff about fake people together. (½) (2/2) and as we all know, it can be REALLY hard to hold onto your enjoyment when there’s a constant storm of garbage whirling around and maybe throwing random old fast-food containers at your head while you’re just minding your own business. when things are extra garbage-y, it becomes even harder to remember the love… but those people can just go be horrible in their corner and we’ll just do our best to ignore them, like any creepy people we meet IRL.

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that, too.  ):  I’m generally pretty live-and-let-live with opinions on stuff, that’s something I’ve always been able to make peace with--sometimes it’s harder than others, when something really matters to me, but I have the strong belief that people come to fandom with different viewpoints and experiences and their way is their way, my way is my way.  Which isn’t always easy to hold onto when you’re feeling bombarded by the rest of fandom. And sometimes we’re going to stumble or just feel down about it, but I think that’s when it’s most important to double down on what you want out of fandom, to continue being happy because there are going to be people like me out there who are trying to quietly get over something that’s been building for a couple of weeks and they’ll see you feeling the same way and it’ll just let all the steam out of that feeling, because, oh, hey, yeah, it’s not just me. That, in five years from now, I am going to remember this conversation far more than I’m going to remember whatever was sending me off-kilter.  I’m going to remember every silly or hilarious piece of art, I’m going to remember the fic that made me cry or squee or both.  It can be hard to build a corner for yourself that doesn’t feel intruded upon, but that’s when you just keep building it all the more, because that is what you’ll remember five years from now. (Looking back to five years ago, to ten years ago, those are indeed the things I remember.  It gets hard in the moment, so let us all reach out when we need to, talk about it when we need to, but then be like, well, okay, I feel guilty about melting down in public, so you know what?  I’M GONNA LIVEBLOG THIS HILARIOUS STORY and the people you want to enjoy something with will light up at that.  ♥)

@ kirahnanase said:

Please don’t live us!

Aww, you are very sweet, thank  you for the kind words, it does help to go, okay, shut up, brain weasels, you’re not winning today, because there ARE kind people out there!

@albaparthenicevelut said:

I feel you, I’ve been seeing a lot of kind of heightened rhetoric about shipping lately and it is Tiring. Also, some of the well… rage is a little creepy. I get to hide because I’m not a big blog so people who read my stuff are generally just people who want to read it but I do sometimes read this stuff and feel angry and put off and kind of worried.

I genuinely don’t want to judge people who are angry on tumblr, because I understand how addicting it is, as well as they may be coming from experiences that I don’t understand.  Or maybe they just honestly enjoy being the way they are or feel they have to or something else that I’ve never thought of.  But, for me, anger is something that really stole a lot from me, I was angry for so many years and it cost me so much, relationships that I’ll never fully get back, years of misery and a lack of self-understanding that I can’t undo. We can’t change other people, it’s hard to navigate the same waters as some of the more vicious and mean-spirited people, which makes it tempting to take our ball and go home.  But there are others like us, who we can just hang out in our corner and have fun with.  It may not always feel like it, but I think we are building that and welcoming new people to it whenever they want to come and have fun with us!  Maybe we can’t change as much as we’d like, but we can build our own space and that’s so very, very worthwhile, too.

@forcearama said:

OK but if you leave you have to at least tell ME where you’re going OK because I WILL BE REALLY SAD IF THEY EVER GIVE US A KENOBI MOVIE AND I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT WITHOUT YOU.

I’m pretty sure that if I actually tried to leave, you’d physically drag me back because, look, ONE OF US has to go through the entire Obi-Wan tag every day to reblog all the gifsets and graphics of his swooshy hair and stupid handsome face, and you have kids, so you need a partner in crime.  I NOW UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NEEDED.  XD

@evaceratops said:

I really wish the block feature made it so people straight up /couldn’t/ see your posts by any means, but. :/

I really, really wish this, too!  But, to be fair, if they were truly intending to harass a person, they could just make a new blog or check it while logged out, so I’m not too fussed about how tumblr’s block feature works.  (What I’d REALLY like is to go back to the Livejournal/Dreamwidth style blogging.  *wistful*)

@super-happilydancing said:

To quote Obi-Wan “You must do what you feel is right of course”. But to quote Rey “Don’t go”. Hope that helps 🤗. Jk the second one is my selfish reasons, I love your blog. ❤️But you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. 💗💗💗

I can’t lie, it always feels good when people say, “NO DON’T GO.” even though I don’t think that’s what I was fishing for.  (I like to think that if I need that, I can say it more directly.  Idk, maybe I am backsliding, but I HAVE DONE ENOUGH NAVEL GAZING FOR ONE DAY.)  Sometimes hearing that people want to be selfish to ask you to stay can be really meaningful, especially when your stupid brain weasels are telling you that nobody likes you or wants you to be around. (I think this has a lot to do with how I’ve been kind of wound up lately, so I’m probably not as easy to talk to.  I AM GOING TO WORK ON CHILLING THE FUCK OUT AGAIN, I PROMISE.  XD  ♥)

@turnipshepherd said:

So this is genuinely not meant passive-aggressively, because you have to take care of yourself and do what’s right for you!! But I want you to know that (even though I’m not good at interacting with other tumblrs) I love your blog and it’s a bright spot in my day, and even if you decide to leave SW fandom tumblr, I will always appreciate you having been here! (I particularly love your fic recs, those are sooooo good!!)

This isn’t at all passive aggressive and I want to convey how much it means to me that you said this, especially if you feel like you’re not good at reaching out, that you’d do it anyway (as someone who has trouble with this as well) that’s incredibly touching.  That I can provide some brightness to your day is doubly so, when I’ve been feeling like I’ve been failing at that recently, so while “Thank you for the kind words!” feels inadequate, I want you to know that they are whole-heartedly meant and absorbed and make a difference.

@shadowsong26x said:

I don’t have much to add to what other people have said (basically, I will miss you if you go but absolutely do what makes you happy first and foremost), so… <3 that, basically, from my mostly-lurking corner <3

I struggle with finding the balance between, “I WANT TO LEAVE THIS GARBAGE FANDOM” venting of genuine feelings versus trying to untangle the knot of how I need to look at things to be able to stay, so I greatly appreciate the support and sweetness of your comment while I work through this!  I think, more than compliments, it’s the kindness that really makes a difference with me.  *hugs*

@annavalkyrie-blog said:

Sorry you feel that way!! I know this hell site can be icky sometimes. But I just wanted to say you’re a valued member of this community and I always love reading your thoughts on the Star War. You make me smile! If you feel like you need to leave, you’ll be missed!

This hell site is definitely icky a lot of the time!  But I just have to drag myself back up out of this depression pit I’ve fallen into and use it to examine myself again and figure out what I want.  And getting such a sweet comment, knowing that I could make you smile, that there’s such light in this fandom, really does do so much for me, thank you.  ♥ AND FINALLY, jesus, I’ve been trying to put this into words for like three hours now, I fell down a depression hole and I’ll probably need another day or so to climb out of it (the queue will keep running, though) but people reaching out when I was stumbling are the good eggs of fandom, are the kindest people that I want to keep hanging around and keep trying to add something to make your days brighter, too.  I want to be there, however I can, when any of us struggles with whatever.  And I’ll probably fall back down this hole again at some point in the future, I’ll probably have to ask for your patience again.  That’s how this brain weasels slash hell hole thing works.  But I have a thing I want to liveblog on Sunday or Monday afternoon and you can believe that I will always be lured back by how goddamned married Obi-Wan and Anakin are (and how much I want to throw Padme in there for my OT3, JUST LET ALL OF THEM BE HAPPY, I clearly haven’t cried about that enough yet ^_~) and how I want to flail with people. I’ve probably been more worked up than I realized over the last week or so, so I’m going to try to relax and work out the final kinks and be cheerful and silly to interact with again.  (Unless you need to crab about fandom then COME TELL ME because, look, I LOVE gossip and also turning that into “well, yeah, this fandom sucks, but also have you considered this hilarious thing, too?” when we’re ready for it.)

[setepenre-set]

laventadorn replied to your post: Don’t you just loooove those reviews that are...

lmao THOSE COMMENTS. why do they keep coming back just to make a nuisance of themselves?? nobody wants to hear from them until they get some manners!

oops i reblogged this because it was perfect but then i saw the "personal" tag so i deleted it <3 sorry!!

Oh! I don’t mind if people reblog stuff from my personal tag! 

I mostly just tag things #personal because having untagged posts on my blog bothers me lol! (if I ever have a post I don’t want reblogged, I’ll tag it accordingly, no worries!)

And yeah, that’s the thing about unsolicited criticism in fandom--I really do feel like it’s rude. If the author asks, then you give it to them, but otherwise, no. This isn’t professional writing; we aren’t being paid to write. I can’t console myself with my lovely money when someone tells me how much they dislike my writing. Comments, and the encouragement given in comments, is what fanwriters are paid in.

[tetragon4-blog]

Harry Potter Novel-Length Fanfiction Recommendations Summary Post

This post lists all Novel-Length Harry Potter fanfictions (70k+) that I’ve deemed noteworthy.

I am very much open to pairings of all kinds and other protagonists. To me, plot and writing style count more than personal squicks. In general, I do not comment on whether the stories contain explicit content, be it violence or of sexual nature.

The list is about quality, not themes or quantity. Since Snape is one of my favourite characters, he features quite heavily.The stories are sorted based on their relation to the canonical timeline.

Pre-Hogwarts :

A Dream Carved in Stone by diadelphous (Snape/Lily, Dumbledore, romance, drama, pregnancy fic, pre-books)

Mine by Gillian Middleton (Harry, Snape, Severitus, family/child fic, pre Hogwarts)

Hogwarts Years:

For the Boy Who has Everything by FoolishWishmaker (Harry, Snape/Lupin, Severitus/family fic, drama, Hogwarts post 5th year)

The Definition of Home by oliver.snape (Harry, Snape, drama, family/child fic, journey fic, war, post 5th year)

Blood Magic by GatewayGirl (Harry, Snape, Draco, Lupin, drama, Severitus/family fic, Hogwarts 6th year)

Harry Potter and the Enemy Within by Theowyn of HPG (Harry, Snape, mentor fic, Hogwarts 6th year)

In Blood Only by E.M. Snape (Snape, Harry, angst, Severitus, family fic, Hogwarts 6th year)

A Fool’s Choices by Morphea (Snape/OFC, Lupin, drama, Hogwarts 7th year)

Behind Doors and Masks by dragonwriter24cmf (Snape, Neville, drama, war, 7th year)

Obsession by Kerrymdb (Snape/Tonks, romance, pregnancy, war)

To Recollect the Future by oliver.snape (Harry, Snape, Hogwarts, time travel, mentor fic, 1st / 7th year, war)

Post-War:

World in Pieces by Lomonaaeren (Harry, Snape, AU, mentor fic, war)

A Golden Dawn by Miss Shannon (Snape/Sinistra, romance, drama, pregnancy fic, Hogwarts, post-war)

Birds of a Feather by wolfwillow (Snape, Fawkes, Harry, action/comedy, journey fic, post-war)

Chrysalis by starcrossedgirl (Snarry, PTSD, post-war)

Denial by little beloved (Snamione, Nott, OC, romance, marriage fic, post-war)

Educating Elena by Catia2005 (Snape/OFC, Harry, Lupin, drama/romance, post-war)

From the Corner by coffeeonthepatio (Snamione, child fic, post-war)

Give Me Life by Lyowyn (Snarry, mystery, romance, drama, Hogwarts, post-war)

In Shining Armour by coffeeonthepatio (Snape/OC, McGonagall, drama, post-war)

Mount unto the Stars by laventadorn (Snupin, Teddy, Draco, mystery/drama, case fic, post-war)

Surviving by stereokem (Snape, Luna, PTSD, illness fic, Hogwarts, drama, post-war)

Survivors by SwissMiss1 (Snape/Hermione, Remus, PTSD, Hogwarts, post-war)

The Price of Magic by Acid & Sinick (Snarry, drama, injury/journey fic, character death, post-apocalyptic, post-war)

The Same Coin by Meri (Snarry, romance, injury fic, Hogwarts, post-war)

Time, Truth and Sacrifice by Alia D (Snarry, Neville, mystery, case fic, mpreg, post-war)

Too Deep for the Healing by waterside (Snape/OFC, Draco, drama/romance, injury/prison fic, postwar)

[laventadorn]

thank you to all you super sweet folks who have sent me messages lately with your compliments; it always makes me smile to see them! (´•ω•｀)♡

just a little health update.

i finally got to see a neurologist last week about my vertigo, and in his opinion it’s basically a migraine (manifesting as vertigo instead of a headache) that’s gone completely out of control due to a combination of Extra Large Stress and jacked up hormones. this all started when i began taking a birth control pill to mitigate my PMDD (depression caused by my period, in addition to my regular depression; fun!). about 12 years ago i tried birth control for the same reason, and it gave me a migraine then, too! so i avoided birth control for over a decade; but recently my periods were getting so bad that people, including my therapist and GP, were advising me to try birth control again, citing that a different kind of pill might work. HA HA HA.

anyway, so that’s fucked me up for the past nearly-two months, lol. i mean, it was stress on top of the pills, but they created a cocktail of fuckery that’s made it hard to get out of bed since the beginning of december.

now that i’ve stopped taking the pill, my dizziness is starting to lessen, but i’m still always very tired and weak. my therapist gave me some ideas on how to mitigate my stress -- some of which is just the way it is right now (COVID, my mother’s cancer, my own financial troubles and lack of real job security), but after listening to me describe how i spend a typical day, she thinks i’m placing stress on my body that i don’t even realize.

one of those is being on my phone and social media too much. and i’ve been mostly staying off tumblr for the past few days, and i have to say that it is helping. (i’m also trying to eat better and meditate and stuff like that lol.) so i’m going to be around even less.

i hope you’re all having a better time of it! maybe the year of the ox will be better than the year of the rat?? lunar new year is coming up in a couple of weeks... i’m honestly waiting for it!

(i’m a rat, and since it was the year of the rat last year, that was supposed to be a bad year for me. they were right on that one! lmao. i should’ve worn more red!)

[laventadorn]

personal....illness (parental) mention

so last week my mom fractured a bone in her back and she has to take all these tests and shit to find out what’s wrong, because it doesn’t seem to be simple osteoperosis 

when i was in high school my dad got cancer and they didn’t tell me until they knew absolutely that he had it, and that upset me; so this time my mom told me the doctor said there’s a possibility she has a type of blood cancer (but maybe not, have to wait for test results). so, great! i get to freak out about this now!!!

fuck 2020, s e r i o u s l y

[lehdenlaulu]

@laventadorn replied to your post: @laventadorn replied to your post: ...

anakin’s ghost just keeps getting stuck in random objects: a porg, a sea monster, bb8, luke’s beard

I mean, he kind of deserves it. :D But can you imagine how confused Poe would be if BB-8's personality just went through this weird and radical change? I mean, droids are probably not too fond of sand anyway, but he'd just start to really, *really* hate sand? :D

[lehdenlaulu]

@laventadorn replied to your post “@aimmyarrowshigh : Nothing unusual per se, just… a lot of it at once,...”

“can u believe r*ysky is still a thing lmao” and “if you ship x you condone abuse i don’t make the rules there is no way around this” are my personal faves Fandom Bullshit Remix

...Yeah. And the good old “if you don’t ship/stan y passionately and exclusively you’re a horrible person and a bigot etc.”. Didn’t really see those this time, but then again I didn’t dig very deep and I’m 100% sure they’re out there anyway, at least as a strong, ever-present implication. *sigh* (And like... as a clarification, I absolutely do not deny that racism, Nazi apologia, romanticizing of abusive and toxic shit etc. etc. definitely exist in fandom. And I don’t want to downplay its gravity at all. But the current fandom culture has made it a damn trend to fling serious accuses at anyone who doesn’t agree with your views 100% at the drop of a hat. And that’s bullshit.)

[lehdenlaulu]

@laventadorn replied to your post: I really ‘love’ it how in the sequel trilogy so...

and the shipping itself infects EVERYTHING. i know you know this and it’s implicit in your post, but it’s like…bc Everything Is About the Ship then *everything* is about the ship, even tangential stuff. it influences their opinions about other characters, backstory, history, future stuff. even when i ship X or Z i typically can’t follow shipper blogs bc i’ll run into crap that i’m not there for. i peace out of a lotttt of star wars blogs.

...Yup. It’s exhausting. 

Like, my sweet little dumplings. This is Star Wars, not a fucking teen soap on CW. Or a YA novel filmatization with an obnoxious love triangle. Unless you’re Han Solo, it’s not about your ship. No one cares about your ship. You can yell on the internet and write all the metas and vote in all the polls you like and it still won’t be about your ship. Your ship can be a part of the story, sure, whatever. But if you think the entire SW universe exists to support their love story... Yeah, you’re in for a disappointment, so better start preparing for it now.

Seriously, this keeps baffling me because my gut reaction to that kind of stuff is ‘you’re kidding right? are you hearing yourself right now? you can’t seriously believe that? oh god, I’d feel sorry for you if you weren’t so obnoxious’. And maybe that makes me a horrible person or something, but I’ve seen enough shipper ridiculousness in my life to know how often this shit only leads to bitter tears and complete meltdowns. It’s 100% safer for your mental health to be in it for the spaceships and family drama. Trust me, guys.

[lehdenlaulu]

@laventadorn replied to your post: I keep seeing posts about villains needing to be...

i don’t see it as being any more complicated than a matter of perspective. i relate to darth vader because i believe he absolutely loathes himself, and i struggle with self loathing. it doesn’t have to be the defining aspect of his personality; it just has to be something you see in them that you also see in yourself. nor does any given villain have to be relatable to every single person out there. the only requisite is that they be designed with the aim in mind of making them human.

Yeah, you're probably right. But I just started to actually really think about this for the first time and like... sure, for example, Grand Admiral Thrawn has qualities that I share and he's probably the closest to a relatable villain for me, I guess (I wonder what that says about me), but... generally speaking it's extremely rare for me to relate to a villain and especially to sympathise with them. (Antiheroes and morally grey characters are a different case, obviously.)

Some people find heroes unrelatable and I guess I can, in theory, see why, but for me, it's the other way around. I wonder why.

[lehdenlaulu]

@laventadorn replied to your post “People seriously thought Abrams returning was a long shot?”

i feel like abrams is just one of those people tumblr hates? idk, maybe the whole khan thing (which i don't really care about, beyond wishing they just hadn't gone khan, bc i found that movie super boring) but i don't think there's a recent reason.....unless it's being fed by the people who hate tfa? or is there any logic to any of this....who knows, not me!

Yeah, part of it is people who genuinely didn’t like TFA or what he did with Trek, sure. But yeah, I bet it’s mostly people who think it’s cool to hate on him just because, or who think hating on TFA is suddenly cool (because fandom can only swing between two extremes, apparently). Some of it might also be some misdirected Kennedy hate, I guess.

But what would people have preferred, honestly? Whedon? Snyder? Lucas himself? Or Trevorrow (whom I have nothing personal against but who clearly got the boot for a reason)?