#laura's just happy to have another sibling because it means an extra person to bully Akihiro

[seven-oomen]

Logan, meeting a new kid and spending 10 min with them: I'm having another baby.

The kid: uh.. kay

Logan: *pulls adoption papers out of his jeans*

Logan: it's you, sign here.

[dancekickboxcardio]

I have to keep up with my own life. Has it ever been your feeling that your are not able to meet the demands of what’s going on with your situation? So far, no matter what life has presented on me I tackle them head on. It might be imposed on me and I feel helpless but over the years I am able to get a great handle. I can unleash a great reaction that somehow fate favors I the bold, the brave, the courageous. I say this because last night, I know I am not projecting like putting my issues on others, I deal with it myself, I own up my weaknesses and losses and vow to do better for circumstances like duh 🙄. I feel that it comes natural to me. But not to others. Also, sometimes you were born with great support not everyone were reared in a happy 😃 nurturing house 🏡. I think 🤔 that matters a lot. Making kids feel love ❤️ and accepted is the cornerstone of parenting and I feel that’s what made me a rhino hide. It’s not that my parents were able to provide extra. They were there for us. I remembered when I was a kid, I was bullied shocker by my group of friends. Looks 👀 like nothing changed except you, my Dad said he’d be my best friend. Cute. Yeah, others reaction is to blame others and make their probs another’s. WTFudge. Self-reliance. I am going to share a personal story of my Mom. My Mom has toughened up a little bit. She’s still sensitive as I get like that sometimes. I just outgrew being stuck to myself and be a tough soldier from my father who grew up with 10 other siblings in a military camp on solely a salary of a soldier. Yeah, it was survival and competition. You think 💭. My Mom has a different circumstances. She is the eldest of girls, the second of six. Her Mom was a housewife. She always helped her Mom with household stuff. They didn’t have a helper. The income theoretically was coming from his father who worked for the army. Guess what? He’s irresponsible to say the least. They had to go on. For that matter, my Mom always learn how to tend for herself and to make sure that what disaster she can prevent she does what she can right now. I have tears 😭 swelling up my eyes. She taught that to me and I can only guess it right with my sister too. If I am thinking 100 👣 steps ahead guess why. It might have been a coping mech for me too. But it certainly was an idea 💡 somewhere. All of these touchy touchy stuff to point out ‼️that last night I painted my nails 💅🏾 because it was bad. I told Keya about it. She said it looks like tips. Yeah, when my polish is chipped I usually take off the color completely like her nails or I redo them. I decided last night 🌃that I was going to. So I am ready. I am fortunate that I am not in this constant state of work and rush. Imagine if your system is always running and your stress 😬 hormones are always on. That is one part of the dynamics. I am thinking 💭 soldier’s PTSD like seeing something traumatic and always in a state of fear 😱. You wonder why they are at their wits end. They are going through a lot. I read Life Experience magazine and I find them so much more useful than a self-help book 📖. It’s not made of psychology. These are actually real scientific 🧪 based stuff. I mean you could come from many areas and systems but guess what the answer can be pinpointed and explained wholly in many various components. I love 💕 it. Are you sure you gave up on FNP? Say what? How about dealing the reckoning? Give others the power they feel I am hoarding for myself. They want to join the fun 🎊. Although I am really withholding, I let you guys negotiate where you actually have leverage. I get to live like this wandering soul who doesn’t have to answer for anything theoretically. What I am saying is I can do what I want. I have no schedules. I don’t answer for anything. I am free to roam around the cabin. However, I don’t see it entirely that way and I still give myself responsibility and I feel I am never really not liable. I have full control and acceptance of what I did and consequences. That is a good person. So I say.

I still have not said what I wanted to say. I am such a gab. I prepared last night and this morning I don’t want to get out of my bed 🛏. My body feels like it is in this sooooo soooo relaxed state. Actually, I made myself get up. Usually, I have this hard charging mission that makes me want to push the covers. It maybe shopping 🛍 which is the usual, reading 📖, journaling 📓 🖊, but now rarely wanting to go to the gym 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💪🏾 . Don’t get me wrong, I am still putting in my work. But it’s less ball 🏀 busting. It’s more controlling the volatility of what it could be. I try not to meet the tensions and sometimes when it’s not tight I am like, “where is the hoopla?” Wondering why I haven’t set off. It has something I believe to do with reason. Others can act like total fools and jokers and unreasoned. But never I. What makes for a great individual.

My bronze is coming off and I have ☀️ sunspots. The reason I am prefacing with all juicy details is because I am calling it now, I am going to sit it out. I feel languid. Weird because I didn’t even work out that much last night. What’s interesting is I feel I have to adjust 🔧 my caffeine ☕️ drip. I get there and I had my fit Americano at 100p. My gawd, is the Monday no business cares feeling making me seeming as if without interest. I can feel the fall air 🌬🍃🍂🍁 and perhaps like everyone our body is adapting to the dial down of excitement in the air. I told you guys nude lipstick 💄. Apparently they want pop up and I was showing my Mom that when we were waiting for Aqua Zumba 💃🏼.

But yeah, I was falling asleep 😴 on my child’s pose as if I am one of the members who starts snoring in Surrender 🧘🏼‍♀️ . It hasn’t happened to me so far knock on wood. I can get too relaxed 😌 that I walk as if a ghost 👻. But I have never got into a situation where you have to wake me. Yesterday, I can feel the dozy doe. Yeah, siesta hour. Not usually. So something’s up. Perhaps the weather and I have to take it again on myself to be perky. You are in control of your mood states and really body systems. If you feel glum 😔 and you want to stay that way, it’s on you. It’s not that I am saying you don’t have to feel. What I am saying for some people their jobs require that they manage themselves really go and adjust rapidly. They cannot be seen less human like. Right.

Over the last three days if I was counting correctly, I have been eating 🍽 properly. I told Jessica the new trainer 👟 that I feel that my weight gain if you want to put it simplistically is because I am not feeding myself when I must. I am on a 12 hour fast and my sleeping 😴 patterns have not made it possible. My Dad was nice. He made me sausages 🍖. He got me three. I only need one. So I kept the two in the fridge and I don’t have to come in smelling 👃🏾 like grease 🍳. I haven’t been filling out work out 🏋🏼‍♀️ sheets. I think 💭 I am waiting for my binder. Again, the perfect circumstances don’t come sometimes, you just got to do what you have to. I mean I have been taught to find the right time and in working for older adults something like stretching the time. Vie, you obviously are not a worker. At any case, my focus is finding out the right stuff for me. Like I have been saying all along I want to keep the physicality. I asked my sister what are her goals. She said strength. Yeah, me too. I asked if she wants to run a marathon. With all her busyness she has a lot deal with. My desire is to be a great wild outdoors women. Nature 🌳 🐦 beacons. I want to continue being physical yet I have to heedful about it. I know many have personal trainers to help them out and they really have no encompassing schematics ✍🏾 on how to do it. I am pretty serious about it. I have to. I know that health 🥼 is important ⚠️ and I find it my duty and something I owe myself. So I let what I do best unleashed. I am bringing all that I am noticing and questions I have to Laura when I finally hone in on my final 60 Day Challenge assessment. I mean they give you all the tools 🧰 . A lot of free literature. You just have to pay attention and make it useful for yourself.

This song 🎶 elevated my mood this morning. The only red I like. I stay out from the intense color. I like Taylor Swift because her stuff are very contemporary, it’s relevant and universal and has heart ♥️. I want to see what groceries 🥦🥑🍆🍅🥬🥒🌶🌽🥕🍠🥔 🛒 I need to get. I can cook 👩🏼‍🍳 my soup 🥣 today and do my laundry 🧺 . I have no clothes. If I get to it I want to organize my room 🚪 if it’s only not overwhelming my beauty. I get to watch TV 📺. I checked my mail 📭 today. I have no ads but I saw letters of unpaid bills 📩 and from health care provider. I want to write back at how my life has improved and I gained more ways on becoming better. I know I have been adviced not to take care of my finances 🔣🔢. Yeah, but ultimately I will have to get there. I was planning on 📆 straightening them up next year. They are throwing off my timetable. But I am going to stay resolute and make it like interval 2020. Wait, you are not going to be bipolar. 😆 Right. What else are problems in my oh so perfect life? Ah, the stuff I need are 20% off and I have an extra 10% off. But I have been putting off getting other stuff and I am picking them this weekend. I can recalibrate 📏but I am not going to cave in and stick to what I had in mind. Wamesy 🐈 is always caught tangled in the cable wires and I want to get him the tunnel that I am putting off because I am being priority first selfish. I also like the pack of toys 🧸 they have. I like the springs.

I have been talking at lenght. Guess what? I have been taking many shots 📸 too. Do you guys like my eyes 👀 for arts 🖼? How I see I see the world 🌍 on focus. Vie, undistracted? LOL 😆. It catches up with you really. So you have to engage and correct it. I don’t think a lot of people can say that. Let’s be organization about yesterday. Ten points.

1. I am happy that I can adjust to a lot of time and a crunch and I can streamline my practice on the floor.

2. I am not rigid about the stuff that I do but I still hit my conceived plans. If you compare my weekly performance I am gapped where it must be. Now the best thing to do it being optimal. Like yes, you need to take a break during 60 minute cardio ❤️ and that may not be everyday but you must put in the time. The work you put in improves what they call VO2 which is helpful when you are in the mountains ⛰ climbing. Northface.

3. I put in mind that sometimes your body is not all there. Kari nicely stopped by to help me with my form in the rower 🚣🏼‍♀️ . You have to realize that other peeps might get defensive offended. But I took it as free advice. Hello 👋🏾, that’s $55 per session. She told me to use my legs 🦵🏾. Aha, nobody really taught me that. I wanted to say that I have issues with my inner knees. I let her do the talking.

4. Lane also stop 🛑 to say hi 👋🏾. I told him he messed up my serious face. He is a happy 😃 fellow. You wonder why. It must be the horses 🐎. I smiled and I think he’s enthusiasm is contagious it’s like prewired ➿. How many can say they are pretty consistent in their inner mechanisms? A lot and you envy them.

5. I had to take care of my low back and it has been on the forefront of my training. I really listen 👂🏾 to my body as Laura had expertly taught me. I pay attention when I am thirsty. I mean I try to see if my water 💦 bottle is full. But it doesn’t have to be on at all times even if that is the best practice no. I can be struggling. But I noticed in Aqua Zumba 🏊🏻‍♀️ that the area I wasn’t muscle foam rolling less was sore. I tried targeting 🎯 it yesterday even without pain but it was weird that the right side which I feel is the strained side is the one without issues. When I am doing my sitting exercises and for prolonged periods, heck yes, my back is stiff. I am working on improving that heavily injured 🤕 area like many people who fight for a better quality of life. I feel the area and I feel strength in the muscles. I am not overly excited 😊 but I am happy that I am moving in a 🔜 stronger direction.

6. Ok I have 5 more statements I can talk about. I said something about the shift in weather and how I am noticing sleepiness 🛏 when I am not tired 😓 and not really on a regular basis. It’s the cold 🥶. Yeah, but I feel that many are heedful as they must. There are so many things going on in this world 🌎 together like there is an erosion in how police 👮🏻‍♀️ are seen. But many must agree that tough on crime is necessary in the society where we live. We balance freedoms but never tolerate abuses while working for Utopia. Where am I going with this? I feel that without our conscious awareness there are controls that must be to make sure everyone is doing what is in line and really it is for our own good. But you can never stipulate how one should act specially if it’s from your limited experience and knowledge. I have found in life that those that are loud about their imposition are those that don’t have merit at all to make a judgement.

7. Four more. I found myself not being laser focused when I took away my headphones 🎧. Usually, I am. That’s why I try to do other things. Albeit sometimes I need to change my awareness of proprioception if I have to nimble and be alert in a different way. No, I am not letting things run it’s course. I am paying attention to the random thoughts, the noise in my head (metacogniton). I also like just being there and in the “silence” allowing what an everyday thing be seen. I may have that sparkle ❇️ eye 👁 for “oh, my gawd, what a still different 📷.” Notice because I have the time of the day. Just see things as if not a busy body. Yesterday to pull in myself I was doing multiplication ✖️🔢 in my head. I told BFF I need like an activity book. No not sudoku. I hate that puzzle 🧩. But I’d like a math problem text 🔣0️⃣1️⃣6️⃣5️⃣7️⃣. I need some type A let’a keep it rolling. Can you like be still and weird everyone out.

8. I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️ if it’s true for you but I am a pretty fast 💨 and decisive person. Yes, like any human, I am discovering for myself how I can change. That resilience. Yeah, so theoretically 🤓. But I am sure that’s how I usually approach and deal with things. There are many ways, millions ways for people to to the same thing differently. I think he’s name is Adam. I want to use the machine where his client is stretching. I could have checked my watch for my 2 minute wait period between reps to bring down my heart ❤️ rate. I didn’t instead asked him about the equipment and not wait. I sat down waiting for a minute. Did you see how I am thinking it and execution right away. Waylay.

9. I didn’t feel like listening 👂🏾 to audio first thing in the morning even if I did a lot of work. It wasn’t enough to stimulate my other brain 🧠 areas. As a result I feel like my waves are lazy and snug confortable. I wasn’t running efficiently although I did a lot. I guess other parts of your thinking cap 🧢 is more active than others. Har har, computer 💻. I did a lot of studying 📖 🗒🖊 yesterday. I have to be close to a habit to it. I guess what I am trying to point at is there are things at least for me that I must do to make sure that things run smoothly. I do things not because this is how it presented itself and how I have this single way to doing it. I can have an overall framework that this is how things are, some cannot be seen, but here are what I must and can do for me.

10. I feel bad 😔 when someone uses equipment after me and I didn’t sanitize it. A lot are very nice about it. And it might be gross to some. I am like the 🦠 germaphobe. Vaccines 💉. I can get my flu 🤒 shot over the weekend 📅 🎊 . I am not gung-ho about it. Guess what and it is debatable, it takes the time for the next member to use it. I found the mat with shoe 👠 marks and I cleaned them myself with disinfectant. I didn’t throw a fit. There is never a germless environment. Trust me. Not.