#lately bc its healthier)

[kidfoundonstreets]

[bunnihearted]

ཻ۪۪♡.

[voidimp]

yeah yeah okay maybe there is something to be said for eating healthier. whatever

[aroaceofthesea]

I was in a 18 bday party today and we didnt have a gift for the bday girl💀💀

[zomwiez]

okay but if you had to eat a beatle (as in cannibalism) who would u pick.

personally i love george but hes too bony and smoked a lot so theres not alot to eat and would probably not taste that good.

im thinking paul bc he stoped smoking early, and was not approving to drug use until later in life so he was probably the healthiest, so thats points for taste. and he looks like an anime girl so idk look cute taste good??? right?????? idk maybe not but makes sense to me.

john never quit smoking and was the heaviest smoker along w george, also was the first to start substance abuse (i think) and even did heroin, but even if he didnt he looks like he tastes like sucking a lime (OR A LEMON AMIRITE HAHAHAJ JOHN LEMON) so its a no from me.

ringo looks tasty tbh. cheeks and thighs could taste good if you cook em right. also quit smoking at some point so idk??? also hes like a wifebeater i think,, so eat a wifebeater save a wife lol.

id probably pick ringo or paul which is coincidentially also the only two that are still alive. but u would rather eat late 50s early 60s beatles since they were healthier and also the meat would be more tender.

lmk ur thoughts :-]

[jkgnggj]

Question, is saiki & toritsuka's friendship better(healthier) or hii and toritsuka's?

Just a question!!! for me it's hii's and tori's

(Is healthier spelled wrong????)(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

I FUCKING WROTE A LONG ASS ESSAY TO THIS AND WHEN I TRIED TO POST IT TUMBLR WAS LIKE "WOOPSIE SOMETHING WENT WRONG 🤪" BITCH !!! ANYWAYS SORRY FOR SUPER LATE REPLY I HAD TO RETYPE AND RESEARCH STUFF AND REWATCH THE EPS FOR THIS LOL

Ok so basically I think they're both healthy / unhealthy in their own ways its just up to ur interpretation yk. Like ultimately it's up to everyone to decide whether it's toxic or not in their hcs and fanon aus and stuff bc note everyone's gonna have the same opinion but to me I think both friendships are very healthy in their own right.

I think at first tori's def a bit selfish and only seeks out relationship out of his own selfish desires like he seems out Saiki bc of his cool powers (though there isn't much wrong with wanting to befriend someone bc u think they're cool) but he also mentions he wishes he had those powers and then he goes on to try and make saiki use his powers for saikis benefit (aka be popular and get a girl) which again isn't like the worst thing ever like it's obvious Tori would want his only friend to help set him up with someone but the way he does it is a bit disingenuous bc he's pretending to be something or someone he's not. But regardless saiki always helps him even if he doesn't actually help lol sometimes he sabotages him tho usually Tori does that to himself LMAO. But saikis supportive of Tori even tho he insults him and shit he's just a tsundere who doesn't know how to show affection and his way of doing it is a lil violent but he doesn't actually ever harm Tori he always heals him and stuff when he actually physically does damage so Tori can't even feel it when his insides explode lmaooo. Also saikis constantly helping Tori become a better person and do the right things. And u could say it's "toxic" or one-sided cuz only Tori gets something out of their friendship but that's simply not true bc saiki gets a friend out of Tori and the first friend to know Abt his powers too, the first person out of his family to know him for who he truly is powers and all. He's also really reliable even if he's kinda incompetent or useless he is still a huge help when it counts. Tori's constantly putting saiki above his selfish desires when it really matters. They each give and take from each other which I think is necessary for a healthy relationship tbh. It's not one sided at all bc they each risk their lives for each other (cat tank arc).

As for hiitori like any relationship Tori pursues it's a lil superficial at first bc he's got unpure intentions and like selfish reasons for approaching her. He wanted to flirt with her and date her simple as that he wants to be loved lol. And he's a bit of a jerk Abt it bc altho he's nice and kind to her u could say he's probably mostly or at least partly doing it to end up dating her or so she doesn't end up hating him or losing feelings for him bc he's never really had a girl like him for more than like 0.2 seconds. He approaches Saiki to help cure her unluckiness so that he can date her without the fear of getting killed (which like sorta fair but at the same time still douchey lol). He also gives up and runs away bc he's a coward and tries to dump her into Saiki and Mikos hands bc again he's selfish and prioritizes his life over anything else but he tries to protect her (and himself, or maybe himself and by extension he protects her) when they're together like when he offers to take the dangerous chemicals to class himself instead of letting her touch them. So you could say his motives are more Abt self preservation than love but I do think he still cares about her safety and well being (even if at first it's just bc hes desperately and selfishly attached to her love for him). And he gets a lil "toxic" or like possessive when satous in the pic bc now he's got a love rival and he doesn't really like being dumped over the average dude (like fair again but it's still seen as toxic bc he calls hii-chan his girl LMAO) and so he tries to get between them right but backs off when he's literally almost killed at the stationary store haha what a coward. But then when they find out why she's so unlucky although reluctantly Tori ends up helping Saiki figure out how to cure her misfortune. And u could argue he only did it for Saiki's sake so he could praise. Him or be proud of him but I think the reason (if not most of the reason anyways) he does it is because he does genuinely care about hii-chan's safety at the end. He can't just leave a poor cute defenseless girl with that shitty guardian spirit. She's the first girl who's ever really had feelings for him for this long and like genuinely doesn't hate him or whatever so ofc he's gonna have a lil soft spot for her she's the closest thing he has to a friend in class since most of the girls hate him and call him "pervitsuka" and shit so im sure he was trying to be legit helpful and useful to if he wouldn't get recognition for it. I mean he goes full on mom mode on the guardian spirit and then nendou sr comes and goes mom mode sr on the dude too and cleans him up and then it's still not enough so Tori sacrifices (literally, he holds a fucking funeral for them) his getas burning them at the stake just so the guardian spirit can be happy and protect hii-chan like he should've been. He doesn't even complain about giving up his high heels what a brave girl he is 😔💔 oh u also made a post I think Abt how when tori was missing for a whole fucking week the only one who noticed was hii-chan and she went and told Saiki and that's the only reason he found out lol. Maybe it's because the dude sits next to her in class or bc he was her first friend at pk or her first love of something but whatever the reason it was still incredibly thoughtful of her to worry about him and his wellbeing. That's something that didn't really occur to kusuo so I guess if u really wanna pin them against each other hii-chan wins by being the more thoughtful of the two but hey Saiki felt guilty and wanted to rescue Toritsuka despite him being brainwashed and hating him at the moment that he risked his life for him just so he wouldn't get hurt by the cat tank so I think they can't really be compared since. They're different circumstances lol.

Anyways, I think that although his motives for starting any relationship and approaching anyone are usually selfish, Tori sticks around and helps them when they need it. Both saiki and suzumiya are important for Toritsuka's growth as a person / character and their relationships are both fairly healthy at least by the end. I think toritsuka loves and cares for suzumiya and saiki as much as they do for him <3

[molabuddy]

your agents.... the captain... what do you make of the captain

in my head it's always been like

splatoon 1: doing it scared

splatoon 2: doing it cool (loser style amd scared)

splatoon 3: doing it wise (scared but healthier)

THE CAPTAINNNN ...

i think in splatoon1 they were just like. 14 and not really understanding the weight of what they were getting themselves into.. they're kind of a lonely loser kid, and this is something where they can be cool and a hero !!! neat !!!!! (unaware of the horrors)

they get scared & More serious about it late splatoon1, but then get Less serious about it again once they get a little older and used to the whole agent thing. they have fun being really cool and having a cape. its all nothing to them. until metro stuff starts happening and theyre like OH . WAIT . THIS IS SERIOUS AGAIN-

after octo expansion they probably take a while to step back and figure out what they wanna do.. tell their family that theyve been a secret agent this whole time. heal. process some stuff. they decide they wanna keep being an agent, now less bc it makes them feel cool and more bc they wanna keep protecting inkopolis and such. they still have issues but they are doing it wise :]

[modernghostfare]

mace w a problem w authority + doing a ton of reading on the past leads to him hating religion/specifically christianity bc of missionary work + its directly in his life more. seeing it clearly as a tool of oppression. hes a teen so this mainly just leads him to getting into poorly formed arguments at school + calling himself a satanist and getting more in to metal at this age (building off a childhood filled with various musical genres already, he has a love for the art). graduating and getting older joining the military bc he sees in himself an unhealthy lack of discipline and an innate desire to "change things" but he doesnt know what exactly "things" are and he doesnt know what he can do to "change" these "things." as always on the surface a normal, good guy, but in personal relationships hes petty and maliciously nonchalant. his mind is an enigma and hes suffering from, like, knowing in technical terms too much but lacking in application. his parents are very understanding people who are knowledgeable about how you need to let someone work out what their problems are so mace has always been allowed room to grow and change and not feel ashamed By Them but he applies shame to himself. every past iteration of himself makes him cringe. its touching to him there are people who love him but he knows he struggles to be a good person so he keeps himself at arms reach always and is comforted, specifically, by ghost being the same way.

in the end he would say his military service was a mistake and there are a million trillion better, healthier ways to give yourself purpose. but its too late now and this is who he is and hes working with it well. this was literally just supposed to be about how mace's taste in music has developed btw i dont think it even makes sense sowwy

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

When you leave, I cry on the inside

★ Chapter 11 of 15, 5082 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: !!! mature content, minors please do not interact !!!, smut, thigh riding, edging

<< 10

9 June, 2019

“Fuck,” Este cursed, as a loud sound in the flat below hers caused her to spill a drop of tea on her pants. She quickly wiped it away and got up to grab her beloved Tide pen—drawing on the spot to prevent any staining.

With a film on the TV, it was a quiet morning and a relaxing day off for her. She stayed in comfy clothes, hair tucked away messily in a clip, not worrying about work or bills needing to be paid or how desperately her room needed tidying. Her body had been stationary for most of the morning. It was a deserved laziness, in her opinion. But, a buzz from her phone signalled an incoming text, interrupting her and her tea once more.

matty <3

Sun, 9 Jun at 10:59 AM

Attachment: 1 Image

Thinking of you x

It was a photo of a small yellow origami star. He held it delicately between his thumb and middle finger, raising it up in the air in front of his hotel window. Este could see the architecture of the city he stayed in in the background. Germany, I think, she considered, though she couldn’t remember which city.

Sun, 9 Jun at 11:00 AM

Xx

:((((((((

Why the sad face

You’re getting all sappy on me and i miss you

Am I being too sweet for your liking??

Yea like chill for a sec

I’m smiling at my phone and everything

Soz x

But you’ve got me doing little crafts alone in my hotel room just because they remind me of you so maybe you should chill

Or maybe be less chill bc why are you never sappy or sweet with me ????? Hm???

hey I’m sweet !!!!!!!!!! Don’t be rude

The star thing is like painfully cute tho how do you expect me to top that

--- 22 June, 2019

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 18:35 PM

Hey, I know it’s been hard lately and that you’ve been busy writing but this poem makes me happy and I think you need some hope at the moment

Attachment: 1 Image

Maybe you’ve heard of it already or will think it’s too simple but it's what I want to say to u :)

Matty’s heavy eyes stared at the bright blue light of his screen. The band were closing out on their sixth month of touring, and his head had gotten a bit cloudy. Desperate to get Notes On A Conditional Form out as soon as possible, any free moments they had were spent writing and recording. He poured so much of himself during every show and even more into every song written that not much was left when he was on his own. It was nonstop. Slumps like this were bound to occur while on the road, and now that Matty had healthier ways of coping with them, they weren’t as big of a deal. But they were still there, eating away at his energy—blurring the lines of his self esteem and self hatred.

The poem Este attached was “The Orange” by Wendy Cope. He hadn’t heard of it before. So, he read the words quietly to himself.

“At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—the size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—they got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do. Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It's new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list and enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist.”

Este was right about it being simple. But it was its simplicity that made Matty feel it deeply in his stomach. If he’d been sent such words by any other person in the world, it might have felt patronising—but coming from her, it made sense. There wasn’t anything that he loved more than things, art, that commanded him how to feel. Este knew that. And the words she sent commanded him to find light in the simple things. To bask in the innocence of life. To realise that if he isn’t happy, he’s just human. Fleeting moments of beauty are what matter. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 19:00 PM

Please never stop sending me stuff

Reading the line “I’m glad I exist” felt so important

Because I am

Especially with you around x

--- 1 July, 2019

Luckily, flying from Stockholm back to Manchester wasn’t very far. So, it was easy for Matty to get on a plane to catch Este’s 28th birthday between his shows. He was a day early, but it was the only chance he had to come see her—so he took it. And somehow managed to keep it a surprise.

With Cate’s help, Matty followed through with his plan to Uber to their flat as soon as he landed; to drop off his stuff, grab food, and set up birthday decorations before walking over to Greenhouse to see Este. A bouquet of variously coloured tulips with brown paper surrounding it was cradled in his arms as he made his way. The sun peeked through the partly cloudy sky, beaming down on his tired state. He shook the nerves out and reached for the door handle.

The familiar chime caught him by surprise, as the seven months it had been since he’d last stepped into the shop forced him to forget that they were there. It brought Este’s attention to the front from her spot in the back corner where she was shelving. Sam poked his head out from the back room in curiosity.

“I heard an ‘Este Manansala’ turns 28 tomorrow…” Matty announced sarcastically before she realised who he was. The look on her face once she did was priceless.

“Oh my god. Shut up,” muttered Este as she weaved through the cramped furniture to embrace him excitedly. A giddy and uncontrollably happy laugh came from her belly had Matty leaned back while they hugged to lift her feet off the orange carpet.

“Happy Birthday, love.” he whispered in her ear before putting her down. Este tried to wipe the dumb smile on her face but failed. She kissed him instead.

Matty tasted like cigarette smoke and smelt of the flowers he held. The month between their last kiss didn’t stop her from recognizing the familiar shape of his lips when they were against hers. It lingered long and deep. They sighed into each other with satisfaction.

“What are you doing here? You’re mad,” reacted Este when they pulled away.

“To take you out on your birthday.” His hand remained on her cheek as he responded, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin. “And by ‘take you out’ I mean take you to the food I’ve put on your dining room table.”

“Have you already been by my flat?”

Matty nodded. “Went straight there after I landed. We boarded early, so Cate said I almost caught you before you left.” He laughed at the dumbfounded look on Este’s face as she struggled to accept the fact that he was real and face-to-face with her. His arms extended to shove the flowers into her grasp. Tulips were her favourite.

“Are you going to introduce me?” His finger pointed at Sam. “Or will you just stare at me with your mouth open right in front of your boss?”

She snapped out of it and turned to face the blond shop owner.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. Sam, this is Matty. My, um, my—”

“Nice to meet you, mate. I’ve been in here a couple times over the years and seen you then, but I’m glad to be formally introduced, I guess,” interrupted Matty.

It was a bit odd that he cut her off so quickly, as the timing allowed her to almost hear his fear of the topic—audibly in his voice. Her smile faltered slightly as the two men made small talk, and she spiralled silently about what she could’ve said. I should’ve just stopped at ‘This is Matty,’ instead of trying to explain who he is, thought Este. Did Matty think I was going to say he was my boyfriend? Do I want him to be my boyfriend? Does the idea of me thinking he’s my boyfriend scare him?

Her ears perked and she snapped back into the conversation when Matty mentioned that they should be taking off soon.

“Food might be getting cold by now, E. We should get going,”

“Matty, it’s half two.” She looked over at Sam for confirmation that she couldn’t just leave in the middle of her shift, but was met with a smug smile instead.

“Go on.” he encouraged with little explanation.

“Who’s going to look after the—“

“Oliver’s on his way. He wanted extra hours this week anyway.”

Guilt settled into Este’s chest. “You didn’t have to call him in and make him rush over just for me, Sam. I feel terrible,”

“I didn’t call him in. I put him down for a three o’clock start when I made his schedule last month.” Sam reassured, as he came around the counter to stand in front and lean on it. He crossed his arms, waiting for Este to accept that he had been in on the plan to let her off early.

But, she didn’t let down. “Then why would you schedule me as well?”

“Jesus Christ Este, to surprise you! Now please leave, I’m begging. I can’t take this any longer,” Sam said while laughing in her face and forcing her towards the door. “Happy early birthday.”

“How long have you had this planned?” asked Este, turning to Matty and waiting for a response.

“A while. Any more questions, or can we go?”

-

Este’s arm tangled within Matty’s as they walked the few blocks back home along the pavement. Her work bag was slung over his shoulder as she held the tulips and sniffed them occasionally for the comfort of their fresh smell. Now that the shock had disappeared and she had the time to fully take in his appearance, Este smiled at his outfit. The Vans tied round his feet were paired with a bright and fitted graphic tee, tucked into high-waisted green trousers.

“You’re staring at me.”

A giggle escaped her lips as her and Matty turned down her street and approached her flat. “Am I not allowed to?” she argued.

He shrugged, with a smile. “I don’t mind. Just want to know why.”

“Dunno, really. You’re just pretty. And I like your outfit.”

Her keys jingled when she pulled them out of her pocket to let them into the building. As they stepped in and through the next couple of doors, soon finding and pressing the ‘up’ button for the lift, Matty said, “You know, you’d think I’d be weird about you calling me ‘pretty’, but it actually felt quite nice.”

“I can call you ‘pretty’ more often, if you want. I think of it all the time, so I’d just have to start letting you know when I do,” Este suggested, turning her doorknob and entering her place.

There was a banner of letters that spelled out ‘happy birthday’ delicately strung across the wall that sat above the dining room table. The decoration was slightly crooked, but colourful and iridescent—so the sun pouring in through the window bounced off of them and shone glittery reflections all over the room. Floaty balloons were trapped against the ceiling with their strings hanging downwards at different lengths. A vase of water was the centrepiece, ready to be the home for the tulips that Este still held as she looked around. Her eyes travelled to everything else littered on the table; noticing the handful of tall tapered candles whose colours matched that of the flowers, confetti scattered across the surface of the stained wood, a bottle of wine, and a couple of takeaway bags.

A nervous Matty stood behind and waited for her to say something. When silence remained, as she continued to search for ways to thank him, he filled the space by slinging his arm around her shoulder and rubbing it gently.

Bringing his face next to hers, Matty asked, “Do you like it?” and pecked her temple.

“Does the general public know that you’re this soft of a bloke?”

He shook his head at her inability to take things seriously. “They’ll catch on eventually.”

Este laughed and turned to him, grabbing his chin, pulling it towards her to give him a kiss on the cheek back. “It’s perfect. You have a good eye,”

“Cate helped pick everything out. I’m not the best decorator. But she was busy dealing with the helium tank to fill all the balloons so I ended up laying everything out by myself in a rush. That’s why it looks a bit shit.” Matty explained, pointing at the crooked letters on the wall.

“Stop it,” she insisted, unwrapping the tulips to dip their stems in the vase and complete the decor. “There’s nothing ‘shit’ about you. It would’ve been enough even if you’d shown up empty handed and sat on the sofa with me all night.”

Stepping closer to the table to copy her, Matty unpacked the food he’d ordered for them. He uncorked the bottle and poured a glass of wine for each of them. She sat down, getting comfortable and increasingly hungry as her stomach rumbled. Hearing its noises and laughing, the two of them dug in.

Once their plates were scraped clean, Matty threw out a “Room for cake?” while a smile sat on his face, knowing they were both too stuffed to even sniff something sweet.

She cradled her full belly, slouching in her chair. “I can’t bring myself to turn down cake but I’m frightened that like, anatomically, it won’t fit in here.”

Matty got up and walked to the fridge to fetch it anyway. “Let's just do the whole ‘sing and blow out the candles’ thing. We can eat it later.”

The white box was set on the table. He let her open the lid and slide out the dessert herself. It was a small heart-shaped cake with light green and white piped icing, reading ‘Happy 28th Este’ across the top. Bright maraschino cherries lined its edge. She grinned at how perfect and delicate it was. A 2 and an 8 candle were peeled out of their package by Matty, who stuck them into the icing, getting a bit on his finger in the process and licking it. Once a match was struck and the wicks were ignited, Matty sang the classic song to her gently.

“Happy birthday to you,” he finished with the last line, maintaining eye contact from across the table.

Este’s brown irises glowed a honey colour from the warmth of the flickering fire, while her cheeks ached from the smile plastered onto it that refused to leave. Looking down to the cake to avoid confronting Matty’s phone that now pointed up at her as he took a picture, she paused to make a wish. He admired her through his screen. A couple of seconds passed before she finally blew out the flames.

As expected, they couldn’t bear the idea of eating a slice. So, they packed it up into its box and placed it back in her fridge, continuing to clean their lunchtime mess, collecting the dishes in the sink and tucking their seats in. But, Matty knew that the corny birthday celebrations weren’t over just yet—he still had her small pile of wrapped presents sat next to his bag, which he then picked up and brought over.

“You really didn’t need to get me anything. All of this is so great already,” she complained, guilty that she hadn’t done anything for his birthday, and gesturing to everything he’d done so far.

They found comfort on her fluffy sofa as he shook his head.

“It’s just something small. Don’t worry.” reassured Matty, who set the three rectangular gifts in her lap. They were similar in shape and size, individually & messily wrapped in patterned paper. He watched as Este’s apprehensive fingertips ripped through the material and revealed what was beneath it.

Of course they’re books, she thought, smiling at how predictable the two of them were. But, what she saw next caught her by surprise. As the other two got unwrapped, Este came to realise that they were all books she had been desperate to read. The shock came from the fact that she hadn’t ever mentioned the titles to Matty, and that as she flipped through them, they were written in. Sticky tabbed, underlined, and starred lines jumped out to catch her attention. Her mouth remained agape for a minute.

“How did you know that I’ve been wanting these?”

“Just looked at that app you showed me during Big Weekend. Came in handy,” he explained. “I picked the five from your ‘to read’ list that seemed the most interesting to me but only ended up getting to finish these three.”

“See, I told you it’s useful.” She laughed in disbelief as she inspected each novel. “Did you really read all of these and write in them for me?”

Matty nodded, grabbing one and looking through it himself. “They’re all great. Helped quiet down my thoughts, I think, since they’ve been too loud lately. Plus, they’re kind of like letters—everything I marked as important or stand-out, and every note I wrote in the margins was done with you in mind. Written for you. It made it fun,”

Este pulled him in for an embrace, squeezing him with delight. A couple of repeated pecks landed on his cheek.

“This is so thoughtful of you, Matty. I don’t know what to say,”

He kissed her once she finished speaking. Her lips had a minty flavour to them.

“So what did you wish for? When you blew out your candles?” Matty wondered aloud, while turning sideways and crossing his legs over one another, to face her fully.

Este copied him. “It won’t come true if I tell you,” she defended, “But there is something I was thinking of getting for my birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“Do you know of a good piercer around here?”

-

Less than ten minutes later, Matty and Este found themselves walking side by side into the heart of downtown Manchester. Affleck’s was their destination; and the journey was short and sweet. She’d explained to him that she loved the adrenaline of getting pierced and was in the mood for some change. Since The Studio, the piercing and tattoo parlour within the beloved market, took walk-ins, they wasted no time before heading out of the flat with determination.

It was the early evening on a Monday, so there weren’t many people around, and there wasn’t a wait to get seen by a piercer. A couple of waivers were signed before Este winced in pain from the needle going through the cartilage between her nostrils.

Matty held her hand while it happened and hissed painfully alongside her as she squeezed his fingers to brace herself. The minute he complained that she was hurting him, Este gave him a death stare as the needle still sat in her nose and the piercer prepared the jewellery for insertion. Clearly her pain was a bit more intense than his. He got the message.

After it was done, she was handed a mirror to take a look. Este liked the symmetry of the new silver hoop that went through her septum; how it balanced out the weight of the plethora of jewellery stacked on either of her ears. She grinned at her reflection.

“I love it, thank you so much!” said Este, to the piercer. She then looked over to Matty, waiting for his opinion. He reached out to flick a piece of fluff out of her hair, lovingly.

“You’re like my little bull.”

There were stars in his eyes.

With their mission accomplished, they wandered around the rest of the shops without any intention of buying anything else. Her arm was linked with his. They pointed at mannequins clad in heinous clothing to make fun of them and people watched.

“Want to see something funny?” asked Matty as they approached a stairwell far too familiar to him.

“Depends on what it is.”

He dragged her up the first flight and Este’s eyes scanned over its walls. Every inch was covered in posters. A certain one caught her eye, and she instantly knew what he was referencing. Young Ross, Adam, Matty, and George were displayed on an angsty black and white poster near the floor, casually accompanied by ones of David Bowie, The Smiths, and Bob Dylan. Este couldn’t help but laugh at how different Matty looked in the dramatically contrasted shot.

“My god, look at the state of your hair!” she teased.

“A lot of people actually want me to bring the shaved sides back, you know.”

She stepped back and held her phone up, gesturing for him to pose for a picture next to the silly anecdote, still laughing. “I can’t even recall how many times I’ve walked up these stairs without even noticing your little face down there.”

Matty kept a straight face and held up his hand in a thumbs-down position for her photo. “I like to come here whenever I’m in town and have the time to. Seems to get smaller every time.”

“Okay, granddad.”

-

Their legs grew tired of sauntering around with no objective, so soon enough, they collapsed back onto Este’s sofa. She lazily put something random on the telly and sprawled her legs across Matty’s lap—laying down while he sat upward. Rhythmic circles were traced onto the skin right above her ankles by his fingertips as they happily relaxed in the privilege of doing nothing, but together. The lack of plans helped them appreciate every minute passing; how they somehow seemed to pass by slower and feel sweeter as they sat in each other’s company.

In need of the toilet, Este forced herself to leave the nestled position they’d spent the recent hours in. The chill enveloping Matty after her body warmth was no longer draped across him made him frown. But, she came back quickly, and wasn’t even gone long enough to need to ask him what she’d missed on the episode of Bake Off that flashed on her TV screen.

Returning to Matty and the sofa, she decided to sit on top of him. Her knees were on either side of his hips. He smirked at her forward and suddenly bold demeanour as his hands found themselves on Este’s arse. They were comfortable there.

“Have a good wee?” Matty asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, great actually. Thanks.” Her fingers combed through the long and shaggy section of his hair, near the front, to part it down the centre and tuck the curls behind his ears. Seeing more of his face was the goal in her action. “You look pretty.” she repeated, from earlier. Matty’s smirk morphed into a closed-mouth smile at the sound of her niceties.

“I feel pretty with you on top of me.” he retaliated, suspending the suggestive mood she initiated.

Este’s hands remained on either side of his neck when he brought her lips down to meet his. They moved against one another delicately, but both wanted more. It was only a matter of time before the lust between them escalated the heat of the moment. So, she deepened their kiss, pulling Matty in closer and shifting her hips to feel more of him and humming in the process. She winced when his nose brushed against hers and her fresh piercing, but it didn’t stop her.

The friction she created over his bulge made him groan. He pinched the skin at her waist with greed as his hands crept beneath her top. It only encouraged Este to continue with her fluid movements, his pants growing tighter.

As much as Matty wanted to revel in the pleasure of his girl hovering above him—one of his favourite places for her to be—he considered the fact that it was her birthday. Her day. The thought made him want to try something new.

“Can I make you feel good?” he whispered, breaking their lips apart for air and to squeeze his question into the muggy air.

She nodded against him, beginning to climb off of his lap to lay on her back; assuming Matty wanted to go down on her. But, he stopped her before she could. Instead, he just sat up straighter, nearer to the edge of the cushion beneath them, and used his hands to position her straddle over only one of his legs. He wanted Este to ride his thigh.

They didn’t bother taking off any of their clothes. His hands guided her back and forth, her eyes fluttering shut in indulgence as the seam of her shorts and the pressure of his leg pressed against her clit. She bit back a moan with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

“Let me hear you, E.” encouraged Matty. Obliging, the next roll of her hips dragged a string of profanity out of her throat. “That’s better.”

The tightness in her lower stomach grew. Hot breath cycled between them as they breathed through their mouths during the lulls that found their lips no longer tangled together. Este could feel his hard-on when the top of her thigh came forward to graze it, growing wetter and closer to her climax by the second. She was a mess, and putty in Matty’s hands.

His eyes were glued to her. The way she moved and moaned his name with determination drove him insane, and made it hard for him to ignore the throbbing in his pants. Her face dropped into his neck, scratching at his skin softly with her teeth as she whined.

“Harder,” Este muttered, clearly getting close. He listened to her command and used his hands to bring her heat along his leg with aggression. The increased force made her cry out into him, head still hidden beneath his jaw.

Matty let her moans heighten in pitch, feeling her start to shake against him. But, suddenly, his hands slowed down her movements. “No,” he told her, “Not yet.”

Cruelly, he deprived her of the feeling she was chasing. A gentler and slower pace continued, much to Este’s dismay, as she quietly begged for more.

“Matty, please,” fell from her lips with desperation.

In response, he began building up the pressure, but at a snail’s pace. Her hips buckled forward in attempts for any pleasure she could get.

“Ask me one more time, baby.”

Her thick hair fell around her face, sticking to her sweaty skin as her head spun. “I need to come. Please, let me,” she forced out to him between her heavy breathing, and as soon as Matty heard her words, he tightened his grip and encouraged her hips to move faster. The sudden boom of resistance on her sensitive core drew more noises from her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Este could almost see stars. Only a couple seconds of him grinding her against him and uttering filth into her ear finally brought her to her orgasm, the convulsed muscles in her abdomen releasing their pressure. A wet patch soaked through her shorts and onto Matty’s when she moaned his name. The two of them slowed to a stop to catch their breath and kiss hungrily once more. A giddy expression couldn’t be wiped from her face if she tried.

When she gained a bit of her composure back, still sat on Matty’s lap, she took note of the almost concerning amount of sweat that encompassed their skin and the now dirty clothing they were wearing. “I think I need a shower,” Este decided.

Matty scoffed. “You’re going to leave and take a shower? When this is what you did to me?” he pointed to his crotch in disbelief. He was painfully hard.

Giggling and with a shrug, she responded, “Then come with.”

--- 2 July, 2019

That night, they washed the perspiration off of each other (after the shower head Este promised) and threw on comfy clothes. Both exhausted, they planned on climbing into her bed—but when Matty caught The Goonies popping up on the TV out in the lounge, they ended up staying awake.

Not for much longer, though. They must have only seen ten minutes of the cult classic film before dozing off and spending the night with their jumbled limbs squished together on the sofa. Aching muscles were a theme of the morning that followed.

It was reasonably early when they woke. Matty remembered to wish Este happy birthday the minute he learned she was conscious, showering her face in playful pecks. She didn’t want to do anything more with her day though, and thought yesterday was kind enough for him to plan. A quiet day in with Matty by her side was what she wanted. So they did exactly that, and stayed round her flat to do more nothings. It was peaceful. It was needed.

The annoying thing was that Este didn’t allow him to smoke in the house. When it was a joint, cracking a window was fine—as she frequently did so herself—but she forced him to take his cigarettes outside. As Matty needed another one, she followed him down, to soak up all of him she could get.

But, in the back of her mind, Este knew she was looking for a moment to be serious with him. Have a conversation about what had been fogging her conscience since he surprised her at Greenhouse the previous day.

Leaning against the wall of her building while he took a drag next to her, she mustered up the courage.

“So,” she started quietly, “Do you see other people?”

12 >>

[ohyesididnotjustdothat]

I've somehow been drafted into the Kinn Defense Squad, so I guess here's another KP post. This isn't aimed at anyone except the people who like Kinn but maybe can't reconcile where everything ended w the KP relationship and want to see what someone who can thinks of it.

WARNING: long and rambly (also it's hella late so forgive the incohesive presentation)

also formatting will be shit bc mobile is hostile to any instance of lengthy text

Ok, so to preempt this, I need to make abundantly clear: KinnPorsche S2 was not a sure thing. They very much wanted it to be, hence all the loose threads, but there was never a guarantee they'd catch lightning in a bottle a second time.

With that out of the way, I wanna get into my thoughts.

The KP/VP/KC comparisons: I see a lot of people leveraging the end point of these pairings as evidence that any given one is "healthier" than the others. Brushing aside the v subjective view of what constitutes "healthy" on a genre that plays it as fast and loose w consent as mafia BL, I do not believe the comparisons are even sensible.

On the one hand, you have KP, the titular pairing that, presumably, would be expected to maintain central focus in a future season. Due to its role as the central pairing, it already established itself as such by introducing the most convoluted and extensive storylines for the sake of driving the plot. These were always going to take longer to resolve, and understandably would be most likely to stay open ended by the finale.

Adding on to the previous point, KP was in the position of being most likely to have overarching plots that would drive any possible future season. I'm not being biased, simply maintaining that a show called "KinnPorsche" would most likely continue to focus on the pairing KinnPorsche. (I guess the novel maybe does something different, but it's already established that the show goes off-script and the finale obviously had a primary focus on KP still.)

VP ends up w a pretty neat resolution, and I assume it's because it would likely suffer the most from being left open ended, but you definitely feel the rush with it. If they hadn't finished it with the final post-credit scene, VP fans would have been left with nothing more than a passing comment from a primary and secondary (maybe even tertiary) character about the status of them after Vegas had presumably died. This would have been terrible because, as I learned from a VP friend who missed the post-credit scene, she had assumed Vegas had simply died because she didn't catch Tay and Porsche's conversation. (Oof, sorry, buddy--glad I could correct that for u 😬😬)

KC I would say gets the shortest end of the stick, specifically because it suffers the most from lack of screen time. While you can argue that it was introduced before VP, the coupling itself was split not only between the other pairings, but Kim's investigation subplot. This wouldn't have been as much of an annoyance if it weren't for the fact that Kim never even really got to introduce his findings to any other characters, so it essentially was just a mix of contrived plot advancement (complicated way of pushing Kim to Chay), character insight, and foreshadowing of the overarching conflict.

KC is another example of a pairing that gets left more open ended to leave room for development in a second season, but it suffers more than KP in that it has drastically less development, and therefore comes off as the weakest. (This is not a knock on any pairings, but simply noting that these things are inevitable when you have a 14 episode series--UNCUT--unevenly split between 3 couplings.)

So I've delved into the pairing aspects, and this is where the Kinn Defense Squad comes in, I suppose.

I do see some comments saying Kinn would never break ties with his father, but I am going to say that not only is it possible, but it's the only option that makes sense thematically.

See, with generational cycles of abuse, it can only really end when one generation comes along and refuses to perpetuate it any longer. Vegas's cycle began to break when Korn shot Gun, but there was no guarantee--and I'd argue it's improbable--that the conflict would have ended with that; we didn't get the time for it, but with Korn still a looming threat and Vegas being as vindictive as he is, it's not unlikely that he would still bear ill will toward Korn and his empire (not necessarily Kinn or the main family, but specifically what Korn has maintained that caused all this). This is not a knock on Vegas, simply me pointing out that:

Clearly the resolution with Vegas was mostly unexplored due to episode constraints.

If VP were going to have any continued role in a future season, they would need an accompanying conflict to resolve, which likely would tie into the main conflict.

So the reason I believe VP (and specifically Vegas) gets the neat resolution it does isn't by any particular endorsement/condemnation in the narrative, but simply because it was the easiest to resolve without the guarantee of a second season. They could tie it up nicely right there while still technically leaving room for reintroductions in future seasons.

However, with this, of all the parallels that have been haunting Kinn and Vegas throughout the show, the most stark one is suddenly excised when Vegas's specter is struck down with a single bullet from Kinn's own. To compare these two characters now on the same grounds as before would be odd and narratively incongruent--it just doesn't make sense.

No longer are they the tragic sons languishing under the overbearing weight of their fathers and doomed to ruthless competition--Vegas no longer has that external motivation. Kinn retains his boogeyman while Vegas's was exorcised from the narrative.

I have no doubt that they would have still maintained some parallels in a second season (the figurative ghost of his father would likely have continued to torment Vegas), but it could no longer follow the same formula because Kinn and Vegas lost their biggest platform of common ground.

So whereas that particular resolution was expedited for Vegas by Korn (because it needed to be for a satisfying resolution for him), Kinn's problem is Korn. Kinn doesn't look like a man who can stand up to his father because he isn't--yet. That was going to be a major conflict explored in the second season, most likely. So many threads led to that, but because that second season wasn't in the bag, they had to resolve it just nicely enough to leave fans mostly content with the investment they'd placed in Kinn's character growth (and KP as a pairing--can't have them be sad in their last scene together, but the show doesn't let you forget there's still Korn's shadow cast on them all).

I wouldn't feel as confident in these conclusions if I hadn't spoken to more casual viewers of the show (likely to the largest demographic tbh). They were mostly content with where the show ended, but confused enough to warrant a second season, which I assume is that sweet spot BOC was going for. Sadly, for more invested fans, it left a lot more to be desired for us in terms of resolutions.

This mostly hit me upon a viewing of a reaction series from a casual viewer--most likely the biggest chunk of KP's audience. There was some confusion and some acknowledgment of obviously unresolved plot lines, but with the exception of KC, everything seemed tied up nicely enough for them. In fact, even KC--when Chay refused to delete the video--was left just hopeful enough to leave them satisfied.

So all-in-all, I really hate this whole competition that seems to break out between these different factions in a show that obviously never even got to tell its story to its desired conclusion. Regardless of pairing or character preference, the narrative tends to shy away from clear-cut designations of good or bad, w arguably a couple of exceptions (and by that, I don't mean any of the main coupling characters).

[bigdumbbambieyes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

thank u lovely 🥹

(@shieldofiron also tagged me in this so thank you, too!! 🤍)

1. within me, an invincible summer

this is my baby. this fic has embedded itself into my own heart bc i’ve poured some of myself into it and it’s been very cathartic to write - it’s very emotional (like me) bc billy is very emotional, and i’ve always seen post-S3 fics but none of them really focused on his healing journey from Starcourt and how he could’ve grown into a healthier version of himself if he had the right support system. i also love writing about developing relationships bc it’s fun lol to write the development of his relationships with both steve and max have been so rewarding bc i firmly believe that they are the people in his life that could make the most impact. this fic is about billy waking up a few weeks after Starcourt with a new heart in his chest and he realizes that he has to continue on with this life he’s been given but doesn’t want.

this fic is a WIP and is currently sitting at 60k with no end in sight so….take that as you will jfbfkf

2. summer bummer

i wrote this back in 2020 and it was inspired by the summer heat i felt when tanning in my backyard during quarantine! it’s about Steve returning to Hawkins after a small vacation with his parents and his boyfriend Billy is the only thing on his mind 😌this ficlet screams ‘summer’ to me and it’s hot and cute and it’s just a nice little thing to read 🥹

3. Season Of the (Love) Witch

i kinda stepped out of my comfort zone with this one (and wrote it on my phone during vacation lol it was hell)! it’s about Steve, who is desperate for love, and is so desperate that he’s turned to magic to get a lover. he has continuous run-ins with Billy throughout the fic and that’s all i’m gonna say hehe this was heavily inspired by the movie The Love Witch (which is visually gorgeous omg) and i like to think that i did fairly well w this one!!

4. happy holidays

this is a ficlet i wrote here on tumblr during christmas last year. i honestly just wrote it without much thought lol i let the characters do what they wanted to do! it’s about billy going to visit steve on christmas day and they realize that they both kinda hate the way their families celebrate the holiday so they promise each other that their christmases will be better. it’s fluffy and sweet and i still love it!!

5. Bitter

this is a ficlet i wrote for tumblr then moved to AO3 - it’s sorta harringrove, as billy has complicated feelings about steve, but its main focus is billy and will! i don’t ever write anything that includes the kids so this was fun to write, and it came about after realizing just how similar these two are and i wanted to see how they would’ve reacted to each other, especially with their unrequited feelings for a boy they like (maybe even love). it’s bittersweet at its core but the sweetness of how billy treats little will makes up for it!!

i’m sure everyone has done this already bc i’m so late to it jdhfkf but if you want to do this pls tag me!!

[ichorblossoms]

glance, stature, canvas, roots, texture, wardrobe for grimm & yarrow :)

HELL YEAH THANK YOU A TON CHASE!!! >:D love talking abt these two

okay this one is long bc i can never be concise and has a lot of pictures, so i'm putting it under a cut

glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?

i think for grimm it's their preference for wearing dark clothes that catches people off guard. not enough to make them stand out too much in a crowd (as long as they're not wearing their poncho), but enough for someone looking at them long enough to think "you're wearing that in the desert? in the summer?" its hair would be more distinguishing, but it actually has it tucked into its hat most of the time. i don't draw it like this often, partially bc it's fun to draw its hair down, but also bc i don't really draw it On The Job

^ in most cases, if they're out in public they wouldn't wear both the bandana and poncho bc of the attention it draws, but it would wear this while working, especially since it's mostly at night

while the clothes can sometimes be distinguishing enough between the all-black, the bandana, and/or the poncho, if its face and/or arms are uncovered i think a lot of people notice its scars; the one on its jaw is particularly notable, especially when it starts talking bc it tries not to move its jaw a lot when it does (it's a combination of hiding its extra teeth and its jaw being genuinely kinda fucked). grey eyes aren't unusual for this universe, but there's a certain intensity that grimm has in theirs sometimes that can stick with people too

as for yarrow it's defs the Bee Shit they have going on that stands out, i mean it's not like there's really any way they can hide that hdlkfhg though before that yarrow really is kind of just A Guy. they have an approachability and harmlessness to them that a lot of people take notice of, especially when most men in town are miners and more of the rugged sort. he earns enough respect for his work that people don't give him shit about it

some people notice when they talk to him that he has straight teeth, which make it really evident he's from the city and not one of the many small towns. some people are wary of him because of this (at least at first), others will ask how he came to live out in the middle of the desert. gold/yellow eyes aren't unusual in this universe either, but i think a lot of people notice them bc in a way it compliments the "warmth" he has when talking to people.

stature: What's your OC's body type? How tall are they? Do they wear clothing to accentuate their look or do they try to mask it?

told myself that if someone asked this one i'd finish the refs i was drawing for how they looked at the beginning of each part SO

honeybee takes place over ~10ish years, so both of them defs psychically change; yarrow's ofc more drastic than grimm, but also grimm was humod before the story

anyways yarrow's 5'8", skinny at first but puts on weight in the five years between p1 and p2, then gets bee'd between p2 and p3, which doesn't affect his body type at all but. still significant. while they don't dress to intentionally mask or accentuate their look (at any point during the story), not passing as particularly masc in their late teens~early 20s affected their fashion sense, so there's a lingering preference for layering clothes

grimm's 5'11" and always thin. their build fluctuates a little throughout the story, but not drastically. it's not pictured since these are all the beginnings of their respective parts, but over the ~2ish years that p2 encompasses, grimm works as a cowboy (instead of their freelance outlaw stuff) and also eats regular meals, so by the end of p2 it's a lot healthier overall. still thin, in a lean sort of way rather than a scrawny one if that makes sense? it likes sleeveless and occasionally tight shirts paired with baggier pants, but it's more of a motion thing than a look thing. that being said, it can pass as a man or woman depending on the situation/how it dresses and occasionally does so for work shit or hookups.

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

gonna throw these older (but still accurate) refs here too bc they show both their humod traits and scars a bit closer

yarrow's got a handful of scars, most of them are just day-to-day ones he got from accidentally stabbing himself with a scalpel or being clumsy. while they're generally nonviolent, they do have a fight response and earned some scars trying to give their captors grief between p2 and p3. he doesn't think much about his scars or his humod stuff and wears clothes as normally as he can (the secondary arms do pose a problem, but he mostly tries to tuck those into his torso). also will often cover up their face with a bandana if they're in public as to try and be less memorable. if if either of these two had piercings it'd be yarrow, but in all likelihood he had them pierced as a kid and prolly let them close up

grimm doesn't care to hide it's scars or display them, but it absolutely hides its humod traits. after yarrow gets transformed, it becomes more lax with trying to pass as pure human and doesn't shave its face anymore bc it's like "well you can't hide what you've got going on so there's no point in me doing the same"

i'm playing with the idea of grimm having a tattoo/marking/scar/thing specifically from their past as a bodyguard, but i haven't figured that out yet. if i do figure out something, that shit is either covered, burned off, or carved out

tbh it's not unlikely for either of them to have decorative tattoos, those are just always a low priority for me character-design wise that i haven't gotten around to it hlsdkhf

roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?

bc honeybee is a low-tech sci-fi(ish) western, i'm ofc influenced by "cowboy" clothes and anything that fits that vibe. i've been bopping around and doing some research into clothing styles, but also its a sort of free-for-all style-wise bc it's not beholden to having historical clothes. bc it takes place in the desert, there's also a heavy emphasis on practicality, so clothing made of cotton or otherwise breathable fabrics/styles, large hats, sunglasses (that i don't really draw oops), as well as facial coverings for dust

for grimm specifically, the jumping point for their design was actually nezumi from no.6, their design very quickly became it's own thing, but i think that influence is evident with the grey eyes/dark hair combo but also the scarf...thing he wears. grimm's definitely the more "cowboy" or the two of them and their style tends to drift towards gothic western with a touch of techwear? something like that

yarrow didn't have concrete point i derived their design from, i just wanted to doodle a character with bee mandibles and the rest came later, though the inclusion of pink in their design was inspired by the scar shion (also from no.6) has. their design gets more cowboy/ western elements to it in p2 and p3, but overall yarrow's fashion sense was inspired by my own: muted colors, button-ups, rolled up sleeves, maybe silly socks idk

when i design new characters, i try to look for gaps in my current cast for traits i haven't featured a lot, which is why grimm has long hair, a small chest, and wide shoulders, and why yarrow has that hairstyle and build (his build specifically was to challenge myself bc i need to practice drawing different body fat distributions). yarrow was designed about...30 minutes before grimm, so they were more or less developed in tandem to one another and their designs are kind of me playing with themes of like warmth/cold and sun/moon. also the nonbinary flag. though that gets thrown off bc there's not really a purple in either of their designs so much as that vaguely-purplish black i use for grimm

texture: Does your OC favor any specific kinds of cloth or textures? Is there anything they can't wear or don't like? What sort of fabrics do they prefer?

hm. this one is a little tricky bc i don't have any particular fabrics or textures i'm adverse to, so this isn't something that crosses my mind all too often...?

like i said above, i think people in this universe wear mostly breathable fabrics like cotton or those cotton/nylon/polyester sort of blends bc that's not a hell to exist in, esp during the summer. some people have heavier winter coats (nothing like fur coats through), but yarrow runs too warm for really heavy fabrics and i dunno if grimm could afford/have the space for that.

yarrow likes layers and button-ups, his go-to is either a button up with a tank top underneath or a t-shirt with an open button-up over it, so he definitely leans towards breathable fabrics that won't make him overheat. fucking hates it when one of their open shirts or jackets snags on something though. also wears latex gloves a lot bc of work and doesn't mind it until his arm hair gets pulled by it

grimm prefers to sleeveless when it's warm out, if they're outside during daylight, they'll usually wear their poncho to prevent getting sunburnt. the poncho itself is a funky tarpish material (it's based off those military ponchos that're durable and can act as a tent or smthin if needed) and it's not like, the most pleasant thing to have rubbing against their skin, but it's tolerable. still gets sweaty though, so grimm prefers to travels by night, or at least low light. it'll switch to longer sleeves in the winter to stay warm. it's gloves and boots are leather, and honestly it might have a leather jacket idk, i haven't given much thought to what their winter clothes might look like

wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?

grimm's constantly travelling and moving around with the exceptions of p1 and p2, so its clothes are pretty limited to what it can carry between places and jobs. it has a few hideouts around that it might have a spare thing of clothes at, but if it's keeping something there, it might not get it back. has moderate mending skills, but will wear boots and gloves until it can't any more. when it settles down in p2, it collects a few more clothes, but still is in the habit of keeping its wardrobe small

yarrow starts p1 with basically the clothes on his back, so he doesn't have a huge wardrobe then, but since he's not on the move until p3, he has the space and time to accumulate a wardrobe. he doesn't make a hobby of collecting clothes or anything, but it's like...idk average? someone taught them mending skills at some point, and if they can't fix it, they can probably go to someone in town who knows how, so many of their clothes last a long time and they don't feel the need to buy new ones all that often

OKAY i think that's everything. i'd love to draw pictures for all of these answers but some of them i had no idea or too many ideas for drawings hgkfhdlk

[clowniconography]

I've been reallyyy getting the urge to shave my legs lately bc even though i know hair growing back thicker after its cut is a myth i feel like it might make it grow back healthier since i haven't shaved my legs in years

[old-stoneface]

i keep thinking abt this dream i had last night where i was with my whole high school class (of like, 12 or so people) and we were all in late medieval and early renaissance fashion, and it took place in this huge airy building that was just full of creative clutter, like sketchbooks and wooden models of different items, like it was very clearly full of art students, which makes sense bc my whole class in high school was very artistic. and i remember talking abt how i went on testosterone and how happy i am now, and how im sorry for being so miserable in high school and how much i valued all of them....i forget why, but in the dream everyone in my class was graduating from some kind of apprenticeship, or maybe they were just graduating from college, but the college was the building we were in, so it was kind of like a going away party, really bittersweet and emotional.. my whole thing in the dream was that i was going to be apprenticing with one of the teachers who had been teaching my class and my mom thought it was a weird and bad idea because it would mean that i would be pretty isolated from the modern world. but i was really really eager to pursue the arts in this way and become an apprentice to an artist whom i admired, and it was implied to have been a difficult decision, but ultimately i knew that when i finished and had all of this knowledge accumulated from the years spent as an apprentice, i would be happier and healthier and more capable. its making me really emotional just describing it right now.. i dont know why.... it was really odd. ive been having a lot of dreams where im in medieval clothing lately and where ive been painting or doing other artistic things. like the night before last night i had a dream where i was in the woods with a bunch of huge rocks all around me, and i was painting a base coat of yellow on them as part of some project. they already had a few designs on them, old paintings of flowers, and i was just adding to the murals. and then a bunch of people in medieval clothing came to the clearing and began setting up for some kind of assembly and i sat down with them and watched it, but i dont remember what it was.

[magnoliamyrrh]

im so glad my cat had started eating normal food like actual meat and not just cat food not only bc its healthier but bc in cases like this and its late and were outta cat food i can just cook her up some chicken

[ijomuda]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATE!!!! 💚🎆🎇 I hope you’re in good health and happy, life has its empty days, but may fun and productive days also come your way 🙏 it may feel as if the older you get, the freedom you think it comes with shows you a whole new side of responsibilities and life changes for you and the people around you, sometimes you might wish you were a younger, more energetic or healthier kid again, but everything will be alright 🫂 time will pass, and you’ll walk alongside it, and any day in the future you dream of for yourself will arrive, struggles will pass, a goal years into the future will draw nearer, just have faith and believe in yourself and trust in those around you if you can to aid you, never let yourself feel alone, because a friend or a teacher or a relative will want the best for you, and they will be the support you need, your first cheer team, the first to see you shine ✨ I believe in you, across the seven seas all the way here, everyday, and sometimes I get worried, but I’d be a hypocrite to say all this and not believe it myself, so I’ll grasp all the positivity I can find to have hope so I can honestly say to you, “you’ve got this, you’ll live and survive and live the best life you can for yourself and one day you’ll look back and say ‘I made it, and I’m so happy I did, that I kept going,’” and those you love will be at your side and you’ll be proud of everything you put in to make it there, and I hope you sit back with a nice cold drink of sugarcane juice and feel at peace :) Here’s to another milestone 🫡✊🫂 Love you!! 🌏🌖🌟🌊✈️🌄💚💛💙🧡💜

THANK YOU??? OH MY GOD???? I honestly didn't believe this was a real message sent for me, and I didn't think anyone remembered me on here it caught me so off guard!!! ANON TOO??? WHO ARE YOUUU and why are you the sweetest kindest person in the world for saying all this to lil ol me :((( I really hope it all reflects to your own life and worries! I think this'll really make my week, I even read this late bc i didn't think anyone'd on tumblr wish me a happy birthday and here you are :") I'll definitely return to "I believe in you, across the seven seas all the way here, everyday" when I'm feeling like doubting myself <3 thank you so much friend I love you so so much