#last-day-of-the-year-cleaning-the-files have some arts

[gwinverarrouz]

Random unrelated OC drawings from the second half of this year that I didn't post until now \o/

[jaylver]

SLUT! — P.JS

synopsis: experiencing love in your last year of high school was totally unexpected, especially when it’s the fact that you had fallen for the boy everyone wants. what you weren’t prepared for was the troubles that came with it. however, you were willing to pay the price just for the sake of love. 

pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader

genre: acquaintances to lovers, high school au, romance, angst, coming of age (?)

warning(s): profanities, (slight) slut shaming, underage drinking and partying

wc: 6.7k

a/n: last fic of 2023! thank you for all the support 🫶 a little piece dedicated to everyone and also those who loves this song equally as much as me! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | �� jaylver all rights reserved.

Finding love was the last thing you had on your list right now.

It was the final year of high school. Everyone was freaking out over the fact that they were growing older and their time in high school was over. The Californian air couldn't be any more duller after that. Senior prom and graduation preparations were already starting even though it was just the start of the year. What was stopping them anyway? 

Being a teenager was art, but what they didn't tell you about growing up was the process of falling in love. 

It was torture. Witnessing people in love all around you while you struggled with advancing past the talking stage. No, it wasn't fair. However, having cupid strike its bow at you unexpectedly one day was the worst of crimes.

You know the embarrassing feeling when you see your classmates outside of school? Right. That was how you felt the moment Park Jong Seong walked into your mother's clinic, your eyes widening behind the counter. Must you be responsible for the counter at this very hour?

“Hey—Y/N?”

Jay was a classmate. You didn't really know him and neither did he know much about you. It was just neutral, where you coexist in the same space until the bell rings and the day ends. You get the gist. 

That doesn't exclude the point where Jay was widely known, though. He wasn't like his popular jock friends or an athlete whatsoever. Instead, he was a studious guy who kept his reputation clean. Basically, he was your typical golden boy. You knew he wasn't completely innocent to an extent, but at least he was good at hiding it. 

There is no denying that everyone wants him. He was a nice guy paired with strong, distinct features. It was no secret he was also known for his looks and caring manners.

“Jay? What are you doing here?” 

He was wrapped in a thick hoodie, hands hidden in his pants pocket. “Caught a cold. I thought I should drop by to see a doctor and get some medicine,”

“Oh no,” you tried your best at giving a concerned expression, though you were busy skimming through files on the laptop. “Do you have a record here?”

“I do. Not my first time,”

You tried for his full legal name instead of ‘Jay Park’ and thankfully, his record showed up. “Found it,” you glanced up just to find him staring back at you. This was probably the first time you were this close to him, enough to be able to distinguish the moles on his face.

“I'll call you in a bit,”

You did what you always do every time, inform your mother and call the patients in. But Jay wasn't just another patient to you. When you called his name, you watched as he got closer, casting you a sweet smile right before he disappeared behind the door, leaving you to your seat at the counter, overthinking the littlest details that you knew you'd have to spill to your best friend after.

Jay waited patiently by the counter once it was time to pay. His gaze followed your every move as you got his prescribed medicine and stuffed them carefully into a bag. 

“Here you go,” you passed the bag over, then accepted the cash he had been holding for a while. “Thanks,” you muttered, taking the chance at avoiding eye contact when you slipped the cash into the register.

“Thank you too,” Jay said, immediately gaining your attention. He was still managing a smile even though you could tell he was shivering slightly. 

“No problem. Rest well,” you took a piece of candy from your own bowl of personal sweets stash. “Here,” 

“Candy?”

You nodded, humming softly. 

“Thanks,” his voice was quieter, sounding as if he was in disbelief. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes twinkled, a hint of fascination lingered. “I'll see you around, Y/N.”

“See you.”

That night, you laid awake replaying the encounter you had with Jay. It was the first time you've ever talked to him, and it was barely anything, but you somehow understood why people liked him by then. Not like you didn't like him initially, you meant, romantically.

It was definitely an odd place to meet and talk to him. Out of all the possible places, it just had to be your mother’s clinic that none of your peers came to once, that was until him. But somehow, it was the right timing despite the location. It was the wrong place at the right time.

Who knew his cold and your candy would soon start something neither of you expected.

“Do you wish you made out with him or something?”

Telling Yunjin about it was probably the best and worst idea. Sure, she could be a great moral support, except she lacked filters when needed.

“What the fuck—no!” You glanced around, hoping none of the passing students heard your stupid discussions. “He's hot but not like that, at all,”

“So you admit he's hot!”

You rolled your eyes, chucking the bag of Doritos back to her. “I never said he wasn't,”

“You intended it, said you didn't get the ‘hype’ around him,” 

“Until now!” You threw your hands up in surrender, only getting a cackle from Yunjin as a response. “Whatever. It's a one time thing. He's out of my league. It's a whole ‘You Belong with Me’ music video type of situation excluding me being friends with him,”

“You're yapping at this point,”

“Thanks, I know,”

“It's not that serious, Y/N. You fighting your life trying to defend yourself only makes it seem like you're in denial,” why must she always be on point?

“Whatever, whatever,” you waved her off, stubbornly ignoring what she said. “I'm at the back of the line anyway, I should be worrying about graduation and college,”

“Oh right!” Yunjin physically jumped, her backpack shook. “I need your opinion on something.”

That whole Jay discourse had swarmed your head that was currently leaning against the window. You purposely picked a seat by the window at the back of the class, hoping for some space to think since it was a class you didn't have with Yunjin. 

“A dollar for your thoughts?”

To your right stood Jay, shouldering his backpack and offering a warm smile. You knew you shared this class with him, but to have him walk up to you at that very moment was something beyond unexpected.

“Hey,” you greeted rather stiffly, not knowing what to do now that you were put under the spot. “W–what are you doing standing there?” Facepalm.

“Oh—do you mind if I sit beside you?” He pointed at the empty seat next to you, and you shook your head. You usually sat with random classmates anyway, having no close friends in this class was a struggle. 

Jay's face broke into a smile of relief, plotting his bag down before taking a seat. “Thanks, I don't really have anyone I know here,”

“You don't?” That's weird. You always noticed how people naturally swarmed around Jay's table, either greeting him or chatting with him.

“Not really. None of them are really my friends,”

But you were?

“You're a friend to me, though,” he added, as if reading your mind at that instant.

You were taken aback, but you hid it well, masking it with nonchalance. “Really?”

He nodded, a sincere smile that told you he meant it. You let yourself loose this time, reciprocating his smile. “I'm honoured,”

“I'm even more honoured.”

Throughout the class, you didn't miss the occasional glances from him and neither did you stop yourself from looking at him. He was much more breathtaking up close. Who were you to deny that?

By the end of the class, the bell rang and everyone started to pack up, some already rushing out in a hurry. You, on the other hand, was too caught up in your headspace to notice Jay was already done tidying up beside you and was waiting for his queue.

“Uh—Y/N?” he tapped you on your shoulder, stealing your attention at once. You stared at him expectantly, blinking with curiosity behind your eyes.

“Yeah?” You dragged the word out slightly, packing your last book into your bag.

“Would you like to go to a party this weekend?”

A party? That'd be your first.

“Where's that? Can I bring my friend too?”

“Yes and it's at Jake's house,” he winced, forgetting you're not one of those frequent party goers. “I'll text you the details—wait, I don't even have your number,” he laughed awkwardly, which only made you smile.

“Real smooth, Jay,” you signalled for his phone, and he grabbed it out of his jeans pocket without saying a word, eyes following your move as you typed in your number. 

When you handed his phone back, he didn’t hesitate to press the call button. Obviously, you heard your ringtone coming from your backpack. You glanced at Jay, giving him a face that was saying ‘really?’, quite incredulous that he’d doubted you. 

“Just wanted to be sure,” he smiled, scratching the back of his neck out of awkwardness. “I’ll make sure to text you,” he held his phone up, waving it a little and slowly getting up from his seat, to which you followed suit. At that moment, the classroom was already almost empty, so it was just a few lingering students with you and Jay, but it all felt like you were in a completely different universe altogether.

“Cool,” 

“Cool,” Jay echoed after you, and you resisted yourself from laughing. Apparently he noticed your tight smile and smiled along with you. Wordlessly, you two communicated through each of your smiles even as you walked side by side out the door. 

“Which way are you going?” he was quick to ask, eyes shining with expectations.

“I’m going that way,” you pointed to the right, down the busy corridor.

“Oh,” Jay visibly faltered, the expectations he held behind his gaze were crushed. “I’m heading that way,” he pointed to the left, the opposite direction of where you’re going. 

“I guess that’s it for today,” you patted his shoulder, unbeknownst to how Jay had froze under your touch for a second. “Until our next class together, then,”

“See you,” he waved, gradually backing away.

You couldn’t help but grin. “Bye!” 

You watched as he walked away, his back now fully facing you. It took you another beat before your feet were willing you away to where you were meant to go. But what you failed to realise as you concentrated on your steps was Jay turning his head back to catch a glimpse of you, his head only filled with the thoughts of you.

He’s so screwed.

Staying at the library was the last resort for you once you got to know Yunjin had an impromptu extra hour class after school. She promised she'd take you to the pool, considering the weather was only getting hotter day by day. But you suppose it'd have to wait for now.

What was worse, the heatwave or high school? Trick question.

The library was mostly empty by this hour, only a couple of students remained to either study or chill around just like you. It was one of those times where you wondered why you didn't explore more. As you wandered along the towering shelves filled with old books, you caught sight of an interesting looking one.

Instinctively, you pulled the book out of the shelf without thinking twice. But what caught your eyes wasn't the cover of the book or the book itself in general. Instead, it was the pair of eyes staring back at you through the small gap from where the book originally sat.

The most surprising bit of all was you knew and recognised who those eyes belonged to. Jay.

Your eyes widened, so did he once he saw your reaction. For some inexplicable reason, you stood up straight, unknowingly fixing your hair out of a nervous habit. 

You were nervous? It's just Jay. No, wait, that's probably why. It's Jay. How were you not going to feel nervous around him?

Quick, think! Were you going to find him in the next aisle or run away. Maybe not the latter. You turned on your heel and walked forward, deciding to find Jay and greet him out of courtesy. 

You were just about to turn the corner when you stumbled into the man you were looking for, perfect. Actually, not perfect. The moment you crashed into him, you stumbled into his chest and his hands flew up to catch you, the book originally in his possession dropped to the ground with a firm thud.

There you were, literally in his arms and looking frenzied. His wide eyes matched yours. It took a few beats and a moment for your mind to formulate what's happening for you to finally push yourself from him, absolutely flustered from embarrassment.

“Hey,” you dusted your front in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks.

“Hi,” he replied rather breathlessly, mirroring your rosy cheeks.

The book that fell to the ground suddenly became unimportant to Jay, but to you, it was a mark that was burning into the precious floorings. You moved fast and picked up the book, yet you weren't quick to hand it back, instead you took a look at it.

“Pride and Prejudice?” You noted from the old cover, then glanced at him, a glint of interest sparked. “Didn't know you're like that,” you extended the book out to him. 

He took the book back into his possession, smiling rather sweetly. “Literature is the death of me,”

“Isn't it a selective subject?”

“It is. I was an idiot for thinking I could hold on,” he rolled his eyes, making you giggle softly.

“I'm sure you will. You're—like—Einstein smart,”

“Are you trying to stroke my ego right now?” He crossed his arms, leaning onto the bookshelf ever so casually.

“No, I'm just pointing it out. You literally rank in the top 5 every year! It's annoying,”

“Is it so?”

“Very much,”

“Should I be flattered? I'm flattered,” he bowed dramatically, unable to hide his smug smile. It was your turn to roll your eyes, shaking your head at him. He only let out a laugh at your reaction. “What are you doing here at this time anyway?”

“Oh—Yunjin, my friend, had a random impromptu class so she had to stay back. I was waiting for her since she’s bringing me to go swim, but now I don’t know if that’s happening,”

“You could always stop by my place for a swim,”

You blinked, head tilting to one side. “What?”

Jay seemed to have become embarrassed judging from the reddening tips of his ears that you were (thankfully) oblivious to. “I have a pool, and my parents are out of town for maybe a few months or so for work, so it’s practically unused,”

“What about your friends? Don’t they go over to swim?”

“They do, but they’re looking to take more advantage of it by wanting to throw a party soon since my parents are away,” he grumbled in the last part.

“Well, are you?”

“I guess? I don’t mind it,” he hummed, bright eyes flickering to you. “Will you come if I do?”

“If I’m invited,”

“Obviously you are,” Jay said matter-of-factly, eyebrows raised. “So what do you say?”

“Sure,”

“Great. I’ll hold you to it,” he snapped his fingers, and was basically beaming now. It only made you form more visible heart eyes. “But for now, I’ll see you at Jake’s party,”

 “Deal.”

That day, you left the library with a lovesick smile instead of a book. You didn’t even get annoyed after knowing it was too late for a trip to the pool, and obviously Yunjin caught onto that. On the walk home, you thought about him and the party. Anxiety and anticipation were both building up, until he came up in mind again and everything disappeared.

You got lovestruck and it went straight to your head. It was almost the first time you’ve actually felt the way you’re feeling now, nobody had once made you fully experience every emotion of having a crush in your years in high school. No one was even capable of it, that was until Jay appeared into your life. 

Going to bed that same night, you thought of him again. At that point, you wondered if he would materialise in your bedroom from the amount of times you had him in your head. Maybe he’d be accidentally manifested into life. 

Tossing and turning, you kicked your feet at the imaginations you had of him. Upon realising your own behaviour, you covered your face with a pillow and screamed into it. Were you crazy? Oh my God, you were! 

Then it hit you.

You’re admitting this now. You like Park Jong Seong. 

“I can’t believe we’re here,”

Yunjin was currently having the best of her life even though nothing has happened yet and you both had just arrived at Jake’s house. 

The walk in was already shocking. On the lawn of Jake’s house were knocked out drunks, then by the door were people making out and doing weird things you didn’t want to think of again. You were surprised that everything happening before you was something you’ve seen in movies and you were actually experiencing that now. 

“Is this even … legal?” you glanced around, cringing at the tacky set ups and badly picked music in the background.

“No. But you’ve drunk before, so who are you to say?”

“Touche,” 

Wandering further into the house, you realised there were many people here, but you weren't surprised at all. Jake was a well known footballer anyway, how could he not be popular in the first place?

"Y/N!"

At the sound of your name being called, you looked over your shoulder to see Jay approaching you. His eyes carried the same kind of brightness he has around you, the corner of his lips were curved up into a wide smile. Let's not forget how he has his hair styled up at that moment. Was he expecting you to not feel anything?

"Jay! Hey," you waved meekly at him until he was standing before you. You noticed his gaze on your friend who was standing beside you, a look of unfamiliarity clearly written in his expressions. "This is Yunjin, by the way,"

Yunjin and Jay both greeted each other amicably, though a little awkward but it was natural for it to be like that. Jay turned to look at you, eyebrows raised. "This would be a great chance to introduce my friends but—"

"Jay!"

"I take that back," 

You and your friend exchanged a brief look, stifling your laughter at Jay's demeanour. He was flailing his hand to get his friend to come closer, and by then, you could recognise who it was. 

"Bro, why were you running around all night? Were you expecting someone—oh, hey," Jake, the host of the party and the popular footballer, had finally taken account of you and your friend's presence. "I'm Jake, nice to meet you,"

"Likewise, I'm Y/N,"

"Yunjin," 

"Y/N and Yunjin, you guys are new faces around here," 

"It's not really our scene," you nudged Yunjin a little, and she nodded in agreement. It's true, you and her equally preferred a night in with a romcom playing than this. But you'd make it an exception this time, and maybe the next time for Jay's party. 

"You're always welcomed. Any friend's of Jay or friend's of Jay's friend are welcomed to our party," Jake patted Jay's back, while the latter only rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Jake! Your toilet's clogged—" another one you recognised to be a part of the friend group appeared out of the blue. It was Sunghoon. Star hockey player and basically every girl's crush, he was known for his wits, charming good looks, and crazy hockey skills, duh. 

If you told yourself from months back that you'd somehow become friends with Jay and meet his friends, you'd think you're crazy. 

"Hey, sorry," Sunghoon winced, but gave Jake a pointed look after. Jake scoffed in annoyance, then left with a huff and a wave of goodbye to you and Yunjin. "Sorry 'bout that, I'm Sunghoon,"

"I'm Yunjin," when did she become this bold? Whatever it was, you were willing to support her.

"I'm Y/N," 

"You're Y/N?" Sunghoon gasped quietly, glancing between you and Jay, interest forming in his head.

Jay slapped the back of Sunghoon's head, and in the midst of the latter's grumbles, he could only smile awkwardly at you. "Shut up," he hissed to Sunghoon.

"First, ouch. Second, whatever," Sunghoon bumped Jay roughly with his shoulder. "Wanna get some drinks?"

"I'm fine, I'll pass. Maybe Yunjin can go along with you?" You eyed Yunjin, and you saw her giving you those 'i owe you my life' type of eyes. 

"Sure," Sunghoon smiled at Yunjin, but gave Jay a firm nudge, his gaze alone conveying the message. Apparently bro telepathy was a thing, because in a few seconds, he decided Jay was staying with you and wandered off along with your best friend. 

"It's just us two now," you said, as if it wasn't already obvious. 

"Yeah," Jay was equally stiff as you were. "Sounds crazy, but do you want to go up to the room? It's a little loud here,"

"I don't think it's 'a little' but totally, sure. Lead the way," you figured Jay was familiar with his way since it was quite literally his best friend's house.

He wordlessly took your hand and intertwined it with his. It was so casual and sudden that it was unexpected, knocking the breath out of you. He made sure you were walking in front of him the whole time, hand never leaving yours and only gripping tighter as he held you close to avoid the crowd. 

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman. 

He eventually brought you to a quiet room down the hall upstairs, into a bedroom that was decorated much simpler. You guessed it was the guest room, it would've made most sense. 

"Do you normally bring girls here?" 

Jay's face contorted into a mix of shock and disbelief, arms thrown into the air. "What—no!"

"Really?"

"What makes you think that?"

You shrugged, taking a seat on the bed. "I don't know? Well, everyone wants you—"

That was your crime.

"—you're popular, smart, cute, kind and—am I talking too much?" You paused, feeling the bed dip beneath you as Jay joined your side. 

"I like it," he hummed, turning to look at you. "I like you,"

You blinked. One second. Two seconds. 

"What?" Your eyes were widening, whereas Jay was just staring back calmly with an unwavering smile.

"I like you, Y/N," the confession rolled off his tongue like a secret he has been keeping for too long. The eyes that were searching for yours were filled with longing and hope.

Was this really happening right now?

"I like you too, Jay," 

It felt like the world had stopped and it was just you and him there. You were taking in his confession and so was he. It might've been silent but it was comfortable. 

"Can I—" he leaned in, but stopping just an inch away from your lips. You could feel his breath on yours, noses making contact. That was how close he was. 

"Yeah," 

Just before Jay could press his lips against yours, the door burst open and you jumped, literally. You heard a thud too, and realised Jay was on the floor. 

You turned to look at the door, finding the culprit standing there awkwardly. It was Jake, and he, too, was self aware that he had crashed an important private moment.

"Uh—I just wanted to find Jay…"

"Jake, if you don't close that door right now, I swear—"

Jay didn't even need to finish his sentence when Jake slammed the door shut, yelling out 'sorry's and saying he'd be waiting for Jay down the hall. Talk about awkward encounters. 

You locked eyes with Jay, who looked thoroughly embarrassed but also humoured. It didn't take long before you burst out laughing and he joined along. Soon, he returned to his original spot next to you too.

"That was … bad,"

"It was," you were fidgeting with your hands, suddenly nervous. "I guess the timing wasn't right,"

"It really wasn't,"

Silence fell between the two of you, and there was something in your mind that was bugging you. "Does this mean we're …?" You didn't need to finish what you were saying for Jay to get the meaning. 

"I mean, do you want to try it out first? We don't need to rush into anything, don't even need to be official. I just wanted you to know how I feel," 

"I can do slow," you nodded, catching a brief glimpse of Jay. 

"I'll always be waiting for you," Jay took your hand in his, and that was when you finally had the courage to meet his eyes again. "Whenever you're ready."

People say dating the popular guy was a bad idea, but for once, you were willing to let loose and give your heart a go.

Who knew the start of your newfound romance would soon blossom into a whirlwind of tears, love, and scandalous teen romance.

"So you're dating him now?"

Having Yunjin scream into your ear in the morning during the first period was not surprising. Maybe telling her everything over the phone and leaving her hanging wasn't the best idea. It wasn't your fault she was hungover anyway.

"Shush! Do you want everyone to know?"

"I'm sure everyone knows by now,"

You gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"Jake kinda saw you guys, then he blabbered it to Sunghoon, and I guess others heard it because he was not quiet about it,"

Jake. You heaved a sigh, shaking your head a bit. "We're not boyfriend girlfriend official, but just … trying things out, you know?"

"I know," Yunjin let out a satisfied hum. "I think he'd be great for you,"

"Really?"

"He's a nice guy, Y/N. Judging from his reputation, he seems like a good man," Yunjin practically gave you her seal of approval, and it left you feeling happy for the rest of the period.

That was until lunch break where everything fell apart way too fast.

Walking out to the cafeteria, you didn't think much about anything else as you listened to Yunjin rant about her latest online purchase. But the moment you heard Jay's name along with yours in passing, your ears perked up. You thought nothing of it, leading up to Kim Minjeong confronting you head on and you knew that's when you should start worrying.

"Are you … the one with Jay?" 

You glanced at Yunjin for a split second, anxiety bubbling in your stomach. "I guess?"

"You're a slut. Don't you know I have a thing for him? There's something call girl code—"

"Woah woah, wait, what? Look, we don't even know you like that," Yunjin quickly butt in upon seeing you fall silent. 

"Everyone knows me! Everyone knows Jay and I had a thing! What is it you want? His popularity? Money—"

"Shut up," 

Speaking of the devil.

"You okay?" Jay appeared by your side, gaze softening once it landed on you. "I was searching for you, didn't know this is happening,"

"I—"

"Jay! What are you doing? Why are you with her—"

"Can you just quit it? We've been through this many times, Minjeong. I don't like you and I never have, why can't you just accept it?" He sounded exasperated, almost as if he had been putting up with this for ages. "Put my girl's name out of your mouth and leave her out of this. She's the one I want, not you,"

The only way you could describe Minjeong's face there was rageful. Her expressions were contorted and her lips were etched into a frown. She knew she couldn't defend herself further, so she eventually left with a huff.

It was quite unsalvageable at that point and you felt yourself breaking down from the inside out. Even when Jay called your name, you only shrugged him off and brushed past him. The worst part of all: he didn't run after you either.

Great. Now you were going to spend the rest of the day mulling in bed.

That didn't last long either. Once you got into bed, ready to sleep away from the day's incident and think back to Yunjin's pep talk, you heard your phone buzz. Not once, but multiple times. Who was sending messages at that time? Of course, it had to be him.

jjongster: hey, can we please talk?

jjongster: like right now

you: right now?

jjongster: yeah, send me wherever you're most convenient to meet

This was stupid. Sneaking out of your room when it's dark out and meeting Jay down the street from your house. All when your emotions were not stable and set yet. You've sent him the address and now he's waiting there, standing by his car like a dream. 

"Hey," he called out softly as you walked closer to him. 

"Hi," you hated this, the sudden stiffness and awkwardness that got between you two, you shouldn't be suffering because of it.

"Sorry for asking you to come out this late," he was quick to apologise, taking a step closer to you. He was always so nice, so kind and loving. "I–it's just eating me up, and I really wanted to tell you—speak to you—in person. I wanted to see you,"

"It's okay, I get it. I'm sorry too, for leaving so abrupt and ignoring you. That was wrong of me to do," you were feeling guilty about what you did earlier, letting your emotions get the best of you and neglecting Jay.

"I understand, don't worry. Are you feeling okay? I didn't expect that to happen, I'm sorry,"

"Don't apologise, it's not on you," you brushed away the strand of hair that constantly fell onto your face, occasionally avoiding his stare. "And I don't know. I don't know how or what to feel,"

He frowned. "Tell me, tell me what's on your mind,"

"Jay, what if this was all a bad choice? You're you, and I'm … me. You're the golden boy, everyone wants you! Now they're talking behind our backs and all I do is hear rumours that aren't true, names being called …"

"It's not a bad choice, Y/N! I want you … so much. No one else compares. Can't you see that?" Jay moved closer to you, his hands now on both your shoulders. "Don't push me away now,"

Jay was taking his chance, and you thought it was a big mistake, but he doesn’t. It might blow up in his pretty face, and you didn’t tell him straight on to do it anyway, yet you knew he was going to and he wasn’t going to care what others think.

"I could never," you shook your head, welcoming his embrace as he pulled you in, and before you knew it, the tears you held in all day started streaming down your cheeks.

He held you there on the pavement as you broke down in his arms, his hold on you never once loosened. There that night, under the starry sky and illuminating street lights was a connection and trust formed unknowingly between you and him, love that blossomed like a flower in spring. 

"Gosh, I probably look stupid right now crying," you chuckled, pushing yourself slightly off of him to glance at his face. 

"You look pretty, gorgeous to me," his thumb travelled to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that remained. 

"I shouldn't have said that … us being a bad choice," you said quietly, cursing internally that you've even doubted it in the first place. "I trust you, Jay, I do,"

"Thank you," his hand travelled down to hold onto yours, a smile ever so soft. "We'll go at your pace. Whenever you're ready,"

"Whenever I'm ready." you repeated, unable to stop yourself from smiling either.

Jay knew he was already in deep, experiencing feelings he's never felt before in his eighteen years of life, but seeing you then, made him realise maybe young love was something to believe in. For once, he had a love to fight for. 

Jay was true to his words. He, in fact, did throw a party at his place. But what he didn't tell you was the cleaning up, and boy, was it a headache.

Once everyone had filed out a little after midnight, it was only you and Jay left. It was peaceful. In an empty house that had music blasting in the background, you and Jay each struggled to pick up all the rubbish strewn. You liked this. You like him.

It might've taken a while, but eventually you had the place cleaned, or at least, rubbish-less. There was probably more deep cleaning needed (that was for the next day to worry about). However, for now, it was finally just the two of you, and a whole lot of space with nothing to do.

"Wanna go for a dip?"

"Now?" You glanced at the clock, then back at Jay, who was trying to convince you with his starry eyes and nodding his head like an overly enthusiastic puppy. "Fine."

You didn't even know why you agreed to it. It was a lucky decision you brought an extra pair of everything since you were staying over. 

Jay was already in the pool, floating around when you walked out. The light coming from the pool was the only thing providing light. Blue reflection and wet messy hair made Jay increasingly dreamy, till the point where you stood there for a bit too long and he had to call for you.

"Coming!" You huffed, but the moment you reached the edge of the pool, you found yourself stuck and feeling nervous. 

The sight of Jay's bare front and your lack of clothing was nerve wracking to even think about. Your mind was in a fuzz even as you accepted his hand and let him pull you in, the cool water invading your senses. 

His arms came to wrap around your waist, the only thing you could hold for support was his bicep, so that was what you reached for. Jay didn't mind, he only held you tighter, a conspiring glare glazed over his eyes.

"Hey," he tilted his head, gaze travelling all over your features. You were close, very close. It was almost as if you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

"Hi," you whispered back. Your hand was on its own journey, absentmindedly moving to his shoulder.

You should be dying out of anxiety by now, or even freak the fuck out, yet, you successfully kept your composure, in front of a hot man. Hooray!

"How's the water? I swear it's clean. I gated it off before the party,"

You laughed, remembering how Jake was so insistent on keeping the pool part of the party. He claimed that a pool party was way cooler than just a regular party. Jay was not convinced.

"It's nice. Chilly," 

Jay nodded for a bit, pursing his lips, thinking for a beat. "I'm glad you were here today,"

"Why?"

"I just like having you here, that's all,"

"You're so cheesy, it's annoying," you joked lightheartedly, knowing you secretly enjoyed this side of him.

"Whatever, you tolerate it anyway,"

He was right, you did. Over the few months, you've grown to memorise and remember every part of Jay. His habits, his likings, et cetera. It was crazy how your relationship grew with time, but the much crazier part was the fact that you two had not gone official yet.

"Against my will,"

"That's a lie,"

"Whatever you say," you said in a sing-song tone, which only made Jay roll his eyes, reaching up to pinch your cheek. 

His gaze never left yours, not even once. It was trained on you, always had been and always will be. The eventual silence got to you, and it was just the distant noise of the water that filled the air.

It was one of those moments where you think 'was this real'. Spoiler: it was. He was testing the waters, you could tell, and you let him. 

Jay inched a little closer, eyes flickering between you and your lips. It was obvious that he was nervous from the shaky breath and wavering confidence, but it only made you more relieved. 

You let out a breath, meeting his lips halfway. At first, he was shocked, you were too, but for different reasons. Kissing him was a breath of fresh air. His lips moved against yours naturally as if it was his first instinct, like he has been waiting for this for ages, which was not entirely wrong. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and you swore you felt yourself imploding.

The moment you two finally pulled away to catch your breath, you could only stare at him and hold onto him tighter as if you were afraid he might not be real. Jay chased after your lips, pressing haste pecks and smiling into every one of them. It was infectious, everything about him was and it had you intoxicated. 

You realised at that second that you’d be willing to go against the world for him if you had to. Even if someone called you a ‘slut’ again, maybe it’d be worth it for once, and you knew he’d always be right there to defend you.

“I'm ready,”

“Hm?” he was still in a haze, eyes staring back at you with more than love in them.

“I’m ready to be yours, Jay, I’m serious,”

“You are?”

He has never been so relieved and happy leading up till that moment, just having you in his arms was about to make him burst. All he needed was to see you nod and watch your lips mouthing ‘yes’ as a confirmation before lifting you up, arms tight around you. 

Under the moonlit swimming pool, you’ve never been happier.

The night might’ve already ended for others, but to you and Jay, it was still ongoing, and you wished for it to not end. So, there you were, in his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he lay beside you. There was barely any space between you and him, his hand brushed against yours from time to time, neither of you dared to move from your original position. 

Half asleep, you were taking your time to do something. You took the chance to move your hand closer and gently made contact with his. It didn’t even take a beat for him to lace his fingers with yours, his grip ever so firm, calloused skin against yours. You could tell Jay was equally drifting in and out of sleep as you were, mind in a haze but awake enough to comprehend that you were next to him and not a figment of his imagination.

“I’m in love with you,” 

It was faint, almost a whisper, but a mumble that was audible came from Jay. You turned your head to look at him, even under the dim lights, you were able to see that smile from him. The one that always made him look like a lovesick fool, that his friend would claim he’d have whenever he talked about you; it was a smile only reserved for you, and you were the cause of it too.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled out, eyes remained shut, but the smile stayed. 

“Goodnight.” 

There in the bed slept two young lovers, a fresh love that was unbreakable that connected the two of you together, all of it was fated. From the clinic to now, it might’ve started at the wrong place but it surely was at the right time, and you were glad to be next to him, hand in hand, anticipating what the future had in store for you two. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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[lillaydee]

Uncoupled - July

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

The Uncoupling

---

You switched your phone off after calling Eddie, telling him you were out. Throughout that five minutes call, notifications and incoming calls kept appearing on your screen, driving you nuts. Eddie and his wife Annie were elated, telling you to not bother unpacking, their scheduled move was looking to be right on schedule, and you were moving in with them. No questions asked, not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Your niece was extremely excited; she had been given a basic modern Nokia since she was starting pre-school in autumn, the phone only had three numbers in it – Mommy, Daddy, and Beans. She had been calling you non-stop, asking you what you were doing and how many days were left until you move in with them. Annie had already threatened to confiscate the phone – the bill was shocking for a five-year-old with three contact numbers in her basic ass phone with no Wi-Fi or internet connection.  

Tess and Frank had run out when they saw you park, eyes scanning the surroundings in case Max decided to follow you. You didn’t know why they thought that; the man was no James Bond. He was never going to come after you like that. Inundate you with phone calls? Maybe. But follow you? Nah… You’d need balls to do that, and you doubt he had any, despite being a man. You were greeted by Bill, Frank’s husband, as soon as you walked in, the stoic man hugging you tight, telling you he was proud of you for leaving that wimpy ass man. Frank shushed him before he could get too worked up. True, he had called Bill over to be a guard dog, just in case, but now that there was no threat to be seen, he didn’t want the man raising his blood pressure for no reason.

The three of them helped you set up your office, rearranging some things around so that you could be more comfortable. They had all offered their places for you to stay at while Eddie was still not here, but they lived with their partners in two-bedroomed houses, one of the rooms an art studio for Frank and an office for Andy, Tess’s girlfriend, who worked from home, so if you were going to end up on a couch anyway, might as well be in the privacy of your office. At least you could cry about your failed marriage alone. The bakery had a security system, and the PD was just around the corner, so you did feel safe being here, not to mention having a bakery meant waking up at ungodly hours to prep, so now, at least for two weeks, your commute was much shorter.

Actually, even after Eddie had moved in, your commute would still be short. Eddie bought one of the old houses from one of the first residence area when the town opened, which was just behind the school field a couple of blocks away. Somehow, he managed to find one that hadn’t been renovated at all, the couple who lived there a bit nostalgic about the place, having lived there all their married lives until the husband passed last year. The wife sold it at a steal, being sick and childless, having decided to move to a retirement home now that she was all alone. Andy was a real estate agent, and managed to tip Eddie about the sale, and he got it at first offer. He had all sorts of plans for it down the road, when he and Annie could build up their savings again.

According to Andy, the house was in great condition, clean and ready to move into. It’s just dated. You hadn’t seen it, too busy distracting yourself from thinking about your husband’s dalliances back then. Oh well, you’re sure Eddie made the right choice, the dependable, responsible man that he was.

The three insisted they stayed with you until dinner time, Andy arriving a little after closing with some Chinese. As depressing as the whole situation was, you were glad you had these people with you in your corners. You would have been in theirs too, if you’re honest. Frank and Tess had been your friends since college, taking the part time classes together. They had been working in the corporate world all their adult lives, making good money, but could feel their sanity waning. So when you told them your plan to open a bakery, they jumped at the opportunity to invest. Frank soon quit his job and took cake decorating classes, his first love being art all along, now designing gorgeous cakes for special occasions all over town instead of buildings, and Tess quit her job as a lawyer soon after, realizing that letting her frustrations out on dough had better repercussions than doing so on her bigoted and misogynistic colleagues.

So now, all three of you spent your days baking, decorating, chilling together in the bakery, the two of them making significantly less than they did before, but with much lower blood pressures.

Naturally, the subject of what happened at Jen’s house came up. You told them about your talk with Joel and the lovers’ reactions when they realized you were there, all of them looking scandalized by the happy couple’s pleading and begging. Really? Beg for what? Hmph!

They had all known Max for years, saw his change from the start. They saw first hand what he had put you through, and there was no doubt in your mind that they hated him for it.

“Oh! Joel said he liked our rice pudding! He said he bought them a lot. Joel is the mistress’s husband, by the way, if I wasn’t clear before.”

Tess, Andy and Frank sat up straight.

The teacher from the school? Tall? Broad as heck? Beard? Moustache? Curls for days?

Honestly, you had no idea who was asking the questions. You didn’t even know if he’s the same person they were talking about. You didn’t even know what he did for a living. Bill was the only one who seemed as in the dark as you were.

“Er… I don’t know for sure… but… yeah, I guess?”

Oh. My. God.

It was all three of them this time. Frank, Tess and Andy.

“What?”

“Max cheated on you with RPH’s wife?” Frank looked as if he wasn’t breathing.

“RPH?”

The three nodded enthusiastically.

“Rice Pudding Hunk. He comes in every day. Only buys rice pudding. Best 10 minutes of the day.”

Tess and Andy nodded again.

Bill’s head snapped towards his husband. “Rice Pudding what, now?”

“Oh, Bill, the guy is totally hot.”

“Super-hot,” Andy chimed in.

“Ridiculously hot,” Tess finished.

All three of them took a long, deep sigh, staring dreamily out of the bakery window.

Okay… you rolled your eyes and began fishing for broccoli in your Chow Mein. You were trying hard to get one particularly juicy, sauce-covered looking one with your chopsticks, your tongue out in concentration.

“So, did you get his number?”

Huh?

“Why would I get his number?”

“You know, share sob stories, vent, maybe… release a certain… need together.”

“What?”

“Hey, he’s really, really hot!”

“I have eyes, thank you.”

“So?”

“So, men looking like that do not go for women like me. You should’ve seen his wife. She looks like a Victoria’s Secret model, if they were only slightly taller than me. If plain old Max who had known me most of my life could find reason not to be attracted to me anymore, why the heck would someone looking like Joel want someone like me?”

“Hey, you’re totally cute.”

“Super cute.”

“Ridiculously cute.”

You rolled your eyes. So sweet of these people. But everyone knew what ‘cute’ meant. It meant ‘not hot’, that’s what it meant. You seemed to recall people questioning if Max, who by any measure was average looking, was really with you. To the general public, you were not even attractive enough to be with someone average looking.

That night, after they all left, you found yourself lying in the dark unable to sleep. For the first time since the age of 15, since you and Max became an official couple, you were alone. Did you even know how to be alone? Sure, you’d technically been alone since Max stopped paying any attention on you, but now, you’re really, truly, alone. You looked at your ring finger, the ring tan line still visible despite taking the ring off weeks ago, which Max hadn’t even bothered to notice.

Even having dinner with those four, tonight, it felt different. All this while, when you would be the fifth wheel to the two couples, you had never felt like the odd one out. You were in a couple too, but your supposed other half stopped hanging out with your friends once he found his new, fancy, hoity-toity ones. But you knew you had a partner, as absent as he was. It made you feel better, somehow, knowing you had him somewhere. But now…

You reached out for your phone and finally switched it back on.

As soon as the coverage was up, oodles of notifications came swarming in, about 100 from Max, and another 50 or so from a number you didn’t recognize, which, judging by the initial text, was Jen’s.

Max’s messages began with question marks, and then actual questions asking you what the fuck were you thinking? And then full-on raging at you for daring to leave him. Who were you to leave him? Who would take you now? Did you know how lucky you were that he even deigned to look at you? What man would take you? You were nothing without him. He’s leaving you, how about that? How did it feel to be dumped? Huh? The rage turned to bragging about what he and Jen were going to do now that you were out of his life. He could not wait until the year was up, so he could marry her.

And then, within the space of seconds, according to the time stamp, the bragging turned into pleading. Please reconsider. Please come home. The house felt empty without you. Please baby. Come back. Please.

By the time you finished reading his slew of texts, which ended with a big fat fuck you, you were exhausted. How you wished you could just block him, change your number, but Tess advised you not to do that, even her former colleague who you went to for advice told you not to. Keep the texts. The voicemails. For the divorce. So you settled with muting him for now. Maybe one day you’ll just get another number and keep this one just for him to call you every name under the sun at. But until then, muting would have to do. You switched the phone back off and went to sleep.

Huh. Who would’ve thought reading texts from your soon to be ex husband would make you feel better about being single again. He had been a huge presence in your life for half your life. You were fucking terrified, yes, but oh so glad that you left.

You wondered what Joel was feeling at that very moment. Was he sleeping soundly? Or was he just as terrified as you were to start fresh?

**********

Joel sat in his truck for what felt like hours when he got to Tommy and Maria’s. They were both not home yet, and even though he had the keys, he just felt like an intruder, going into their marital home without them being there. He rubbed his face, trying to calm himself. He had made the mistake of opening the first slew of texts Jen sent him when he got there. The texts, which started with her pleading for him to pick up her calls soon became nasty. One in particular stuck with him.

‘Where would you be without me, Joel? Huh? Who’s gonna take you in? What woman in their right mind would take a cuck like you in their lives? Women need strong men, Joel. Providers. Leaders. Not you. You couldn’t even feed me if you tried, Joel. You didn’t even leave when I told you I wanted to fuck other men. You are weak. Pathetic. Whoever you were running off to, Joel, would be a downgrade compared to me. So go, you pathetic, limp dick of a cuck!’

A cuck. That’s what she called him. A cuck. Because he didn’t run amok when he found out about her infidelities. Because he wasn’t making enough money. Because he didn’t assert dominance in their marriage.

It was as if he would lose either way. If he had been controlling of her since the beginning, he could just imagine the shit she would’ve called him. An abuser, a manipulator. When he didn’t, he’s a cuck. There was no winning with her. Did she even love him?

And yet, when she started begging, hugging his leg, he could feel his heart soften for her. This was the woman who used to tell him she couldn’t live without him. Even after everything she had done to him, hurled at him, he found himself unable to be rough with her. She was still his wife. The woman he tried his mightiest to make happy. As miserable as she had made his life these few years, there was a time he went hungry just so he could buy her an engagement ring worthy of his love for her. At that moment, when she tearfully clawed at the door handle of his truck, begging him to stay, he really thought he might cave. Until you drove by, beeping at him, snapping him out of the reminiscing his traitorous heart was making him do.

His phone had been vibrating non-stop since then. Calls, texts, voicemails, the likes. He couldn’t bring himself to look again. If they’re just more of her calling him whatever colourful names she could think of, he didn’t want to know. If they’re just more of her begging and pleas, he didn’t want to cave. He knew he needed to let this go.

Maria knocked on his window, asking him what he was doing outside. It’s boiling out here. Come on inside.

She helped him carry his stuff inside, despite his protests. They had turned her office into a room for him, an old futon from her old apartment all made up for him to sleep on. She asked him if he needed anything else and he shook his head, thanking her for letting him stay. She squeezed his hand in response, her heart broken for this gentle bear of a man. She’s making dinner, she told him. Take your time and come out when you’re ready, okay?

Joel sat on the futon, seriously wondering how life was going to be for him now. His phone was still vibrating incessantly, a number he didn’t recognize now joined in on the texts. He got up and asked Maria if she knew how he could mute someone. She had advised him not to block Jen, all the texts and voicemails could be evidence for the divorce. He was so thankful for her for her advice during all this. She had recommended a colleague of hers to represent him, pro bono. He owed her a favour, she had told him. He had asked her not to do that, but Tommy told him there was no use arguing with a lawyer.

It took her seconds to mute Jen for him, and that other number too, as she suspected that it was the guy she was with, going by the texts. He thanked her, rolling his sleeves to help her with dinner, despite her protests. Please, he said, let me at least do this for you, taking the knife from her hand and began chopping the onions she had started chopping.

He told Maria and Tommy what happened when he went to pick up his stuff during dinner, both of them scoffing at her dramatic clinging to his leg, begging him to stay. Hmph. Stay for what? Joel swore Maria’s eyes rolled up so high he couldn’t even see her irises at one point.

They had known Jen for a long time and saw how much she’d changed. They saw first hand what she had put him through, and he was quite certain that they hated her for it.

Thank God he had them in his life.

“So, the wife, what’s her name?” Tommy asked.

“Why?”

“She hot?”

“Tommy!” Maria smacked him on the shoulder.

“What? They’re kindred spirits. Their partners are already going at it, why not them? Doesn’t have to be anything serious, just… you know, for… stress relief.”

Maria closed her eyes, opening them again to give Joel an ‘I’m sorry’ look. Joel laughed, shaking his head.

“I just moved out, Tommy. I have no time, nor the mind or will to think about stuff like that. And she’s exactly in the same boat as I am, so, no.”

“But she is, hot?”

“She’s cute. She owns that bakery that sells those rice puddings near the school. Lil Beans?”

“Lily? Lily Williams? Jen is cheating on you with Lily William’s husband?” Maria shrieked, getting Tommy all excited that she had known you.

“What? You know her babe?”

“She’s my client. I’m handling her pending divorce. She’s Tess’s best friend, you remember Tess? I don’t think you’ve met but I’m sure I’ve told you about her. She used to work with me. Oh, she’s totally cute. Adorable as a bunny rabbit.”

“Tess?”

“No, you muppet, Lily! And she’s so nice, too. And a great baker. You should try something else at that bakery apart from the rice pudding. Everything she makes is delicious.”

“Yeah, Joel, you know there are other desserts other than rice pudding? You can’t keep having rice pudding you know. Explore a bit.”

Joel and Maria were quiet for a bit.

“Are you still talking about rice puddings? Or something else?” Joel asked Tommy.

“Look, brother, you are a loyal man, and that’s a good thing. But being loyal to Jen got you here. Maybe, now that you’ve left, you need to explore a bit. You’re a single good-looking man, there are others for you out there. Maybe Jen doing this with that guy is kismet. Maybe you and Lily should… you know, talk. Share experiences. Be ‘friends’,” Tommy did the air quotes, winking at his brother.

Joel scoffed and continued eating. Max made more than double what Jen did. Jen made sure to tell him that. If Jen could make him feel like a useless wimp for not being able to afford fancy holidays to take her on, what would you think of him? You must have been accustomed to a certain lifestyle being married to a man like Max, why would you lower your standards for some primary school teacher making pennies such as himself?

Joel went back to his room once he cleared the kitchen with Tommy, wanting to give his brother and his wife some alone time. He’s used to being the third wheel with them, but now, somehow, it just felt… off. For whatever reason, being the third wheel when he himself was in a couple felt different to now. Now he just felt like he was intruding.

Fuck. He’s single again. This was alien to him. He’d been with Jen for half his life, literally. Fifteen years. It’s all he knew. Even during those times she treated him the way she did, there was an ease in his mind knowing that he was not alone. But now, he just felt… lost. He looked at his ring finger, the tan line still there despite taking his ring off months ago, not that Jen noticed.  He was a married man. He liked being married. Even now, knowing how miserable he was, he missed it. He missed having the routine of going home to someone.

Oh well, maybe it’s not meant to be.

He laid on his futon, taking the book he had started the day before to read. He could hear Tommy and Maria laughing at something they were watching on TV. He remembered the times he and Jen used to do that. God, what an idiot he was. He tried so hard, so many times to take her back to those times, remind her what they had together. It took him so long to accept that she was no longer interested in that life. She was no longer interested in him.

As relieved as he was that he left, he was terrified by what he was about to walk into. Could he be single again after all this time?

Sigh.

He wondered what you feeling at that very moment. Were you sleeping soundly? Or were you just as terrified as he was to start fresh?

**********

“Oh God, Eddie, was that door a time machine?”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. The house looked like it was stuck in the past. The wallpapers, the cabinetry, the bathrooms, the carpeting, all of it, it was basically the 70s.

“Shut up. It was cheap, it has room, and we could change things over the years,” Eddie was defensive, although you could see the glint of excitement in his eyes, his arm snaking around Annie’s waist from behind, hugging her so tight the woman squealed.

“Eww… Beans, make them stop. They’re always doing that!” Ellie shouted from the piggyback you had her on. You could just see her face then. So dramatic when it came to PDAs from her parents.

“Hey, you came from one of these, so you’re not one to complain, missy,” Eddie told her, making Annie slap his arms.

“Beans, what’s he talking about?”

“Nothing. Forget you heard that,” you told her, taking her to your room to unpack whatever small amount of belonging you had.

Annie had gone all girly auntie lady on your room, ordering the most princessy bed she could find at Ikea for you. The white metal kind with swirls and florets all over the curved and stylized headboard. She had been disappointed Ellie didn’t want one for herself, opting for the simpler black metal day bed, so she took her frustrations out on you instead. She was so happy to know she was having a girl, dragging you around the mall to buy every pink stuff she could find every time she and Eddie was in town to visit you. She was so deflated when Ellie grew up to not like pink at all, but being the awesome mother that she was, she let Ellie choose anything she liked.

And you? Despite your personal feelings about that bed, you were just thankful you had one at all. So you were not going to complain.

It took the three of you a whole week to unpack. As soon as the last box was flattened and placed with the recycling, you treated them all to a wonderful dinner at the fancy steak place in town, splurging as a thank you to your brother, his wife and their kind consideration for you.

You sat in the backyard with him as Annie tucked a sleepy Ellie in bed.

“Thanks Ed, for taking me in, I don’t know how to thank you,” you told him.

“What? Of course you do. I expect good dessert every day, thank you very much.”

You laughed out loud, feeling ever so grateful you had him in your life.

“You bought a nice place, Ed, it’ll be an awesome forever home someday. Once we fix it a bit. I promise I’m not gonna take too long to find another place, okay?”

“The fuck are you talking about? You’re staying. End of. Until you find yourself a man, one who can actually take good care of you this time, and I’m not talking about money, you are staying here with us. Annie agrees. We’re not taking no for answer. Plus, you want to tell Ellie her only aunt would rather live somewhere other than across the hall from her? I don’t want to do that. She’ll hate me for life.”

“Come on Ed, I can’t impose on you forever.”

“Nuh uh, nope. Listen to me, Beans, you’re family. We’re all each other has. Mom and dad would rise from the grave if they knew we live in the same town and not live together. You want to risk that?”

You laughed, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Plus, the house was gonna be yours anyway, if something happened to me and Annie.”

You lifted your head off.

“What are you talking about?”

“We finalized our will. If something were to happen to both Annie and I, you get the house, and custody of Ellie.”

“What the fuck, Ed? Why would you talk about something like that? It’s not funny!”

He gave you a very serious look.

“I’m being serious. We have a child, we have to think about these things. And we don’t trust anyone but you to take care of Ellie. You would take care of her, wouldn’t you? Like she was your own?”

“Of course I would, but I don’t like you talking about shit like this Ed. It’s not funny. If you die before me, I will kill you. You understand?”

Your eyes were filled with tears, the prospect and thought of him leaving you was just too much. He pulled you into a side hug, kissing your temple.

“Promise me you’ll stay alive Ed. What would I do without you? Don’t even talk about shit like that to me. Promise me, Ed. Promise me,” you sobbed.

He pulled you into a full hug, letting you sob into his shoulder.

“I promise Beans, I promise.”

**********

The bell to the front door of your bakery jingled. Tess yelled out that she would be right out, and for whoever it was to browse first. She was washing flour off her hands when you told her you’d take this one. Ellie’s voice was already piping up behind the counter. Who are you? What’s your name? What are you doing here? Why are you so old? Why is your face like that? The male voice that was trying to answer didn’t stand a chance – her questions were incessant, one after the other, like bullets.

“Ellie, what are you doing? Are you trying to scare my customers away now?”

“Hi, it’s you. Lily, right?”

Oh… it’s him. He’s here. You were always in the back when he dropped by apparently, you had no knowledge of the RPH until they told you.

“No, It’s not Lily. It’s Beans,” Ellie answered for you, standing on a chair so she could see over the counter, arms crossed on her little chest, her face a bit sceptical of Joel.

“Ellie, stop it. He’s a customer. Be nice.”

“It’s okay, really. I don’t mind. Hi, I’m Joel.”

“You are a man, right?”

Er… where were you going with this, Ellie?

“Last I checked, I am.”

“You have balls?”

“ELLIE!!!”

“What? Daddy said all men have balls. Except Max,” she looked at Joel and told him outright, “Daddy calls him No Balls Max.”

Oh dear God.

“Good to know,” Joel laughed, giving Ellie a fist bump, and then pretending to hurt his hand when she bumped it with her tiny fist.

Tess came out and gave Ellie a high-five. Good girl, she said, come on, let’s leave your auntie Beans alone with RPH. Bye old man, Ellie yelled as she followed Tess to the back.

“RPH?”

“Feel free to ignore them. Hi, what can I get you?”

“I’ll have the rice pudding and the egg tarts please.”

You got what he asked for, apologizing profusely for Ellie’s potty mouth. He laughed it off.

“That’s a smart kid. She’s gonna be a ballbuster one day. I take it that’s your niece?”

“Yeah… she starts pre-school in September, so until then she’s here with me while her parents work. It’s part of my lease agreement with my brother. And I cannot wait until she’s in school lest she runs all my customers off with her mouth!”

He laughed again, taking the paper bag, digging in his pocket for his card. You waved your hand at him. They’re on the house.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, offering you his card anyway. You waved it off, telling him it’s a thank you for being there for you that day the two of you moved out. You were sure things wouldn’t have gone as well if he hadn’t been there.

“I’ll pay you back somehow,” he promised you, putting the card back in his pocket. “Thanks for these Lily, or Beans, apparently?” he looked at you questioningly, a curious smile on his face.

Your phone rang in your office. A story for another day, you told him. He nodded and tipped his proverbial hat at you, thanking you once more before leaving the store. You rushed to answer your phone.

“Hello, this is Officer Matthews calling from the County Medical Center, may I speak to Ms Lily Williams please?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“Are you related to a Mr Edward Williams and Mrs Anne Williams?”

Oh God.

“Yes, they’re my brother and sister-in-law.”

“Ms Williams, I’m sorry to inform you…”

The rest of Officer Matthew’s speech was garbled. You were under water. You couldn’t breathe. You dropped to the floor, Frank rushing in, his face panicked, asking you what was going on. Ellie came in after him, her face was the only thing you saw, despite Tess and Frank being right there next to her.

Frank took your phone off your hands, as you pulled Ellie in for a tight hug, hoping that you would soon wake up from this nightmare you were sure you were in.

---

August

[cowgremlin11]

*grabs you by the throat (/j)* give me as many Wild West facts physically possible, and also if you know any good websites/videos on The Wild West possibly pretty please blinks eyes 🥺🥺👉👈

this is gonna be a doozy welcome to my autism.

my area of expertise relates to southeastern wyoming btw kisses. this is going to be very long. starts out rambly and then i busted out my actual notes that ive been compiling. if you have specific areas you wanna know about feel free to ask i love using my major for this stuff :D

before the cut im gonna include my fav websites i reference (i dont do much video research sorry, im the bitch with a bookshelf full of heavily annotated books and a fat google doc file)

for fashion: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search?geolocation=North+and+Central+America&era=A.D.+1800-1900&material=Costume&showOnly=withImage

for navajo info (you can look at my comic if you wanna know why i focused on this tribe specifically): https://www.navajo-nsn.gov/

for dialogue/slang: https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~poindexterfamily/genealogy/OldWestSlang.html

OK TIME TO RELEASE THE AUTISM

so there were reservations right. wanna know the events leading up to the battle of little bighorn? basically in the 1850s the sioux tribe, crow tribe, and northern arapaho tribe (roughly speaking, these are the tribes most mentioned from this time) were all forced to live in the same range of territory spanning northern wyoming, around the little bighorn river. there was the fort laramie treaty which ensured that the tribes in this area would be provided help for 30 years and that nonnative settlement wouldnt be allowed. well they found gold in the black hills about 20 years later and that went out the window. miners rushed the area for gold and forced the natives to move again. tensions rose, the treaty was ignored by all parties and only mentioned when convenient, and then the battle of little bighorn happened

TRAINS!!!!! TRAINSTRAINSTRAINS. fun fact train robberies were actually very common in the 1800s! jesse james (yes that one) committed the first one in iowa in 1873.

bank robberies were very rare! cus when you think about it, yeah ofc thats gonna be hard. its in the middle of town, its one entrance, and theres safes you gotta either crack in 10 seconds or blow with dynamite, risking the cash inside.

most other crimes include larceny, burglary, home robberies, horse robberies, stage coach robberies, cons, etc.

buffalo :( they were hunted for many reasons. 30 million to less than 100 in the span of about 30 years. they were hunted to piss off the native tribes, since buffalo were sacred to many and when the government had them killed theyd take the skin, the tongue, and leave the carcass to rot before retrieving the bones to ship back to the east for production of stuff like glue. but also, they would be hunted due to the way the buffalo impacted the railroad industry. theyd damage the rails, and in lines going through mountains theyd actually huddle up on the track because its instinctively the safest place to be. this would cause days long backups

last names had some cool stuff happening! after the civil war when slaves were freed, a great deal chose their own names. some chose names after national heros, some would take their parents name, and some would take the name of their old masters as a very intentional way to make sure they could never wipe their hands clean of the cruelty they committed to the enslaved. so yeah thats metal as hell. on a related note, “Historians estimate that 20–25% of cowboys in the American West were African American. They worked as ropers, trail cooks, wranglers, and bronco busters. African Americans learned the cowboy way of life from Mexican or Spanish cowboys, Native American cattle handlers, or their former slave masters. African Americans also contributed to the West as miners, homesteaders, town builders, and entrepreneurs.”

BRIEF ART HISTORY TIME. AKA MY FUCKING MAJOR.

In 1886, American art was influenced by French Impressionism, and American artists began to experiment with the style

Impressionism reflected a modern reality that could be troubling

Impressionist artists expertly depicted the alienation that this new Paris proffered. An unfortunate symptom of such modernity was the loss of an intimate, knowable community; now citizens were strangers in an anonymous crowd.

During the mid-1880s, as French Impressionism lost its radical edge, American collectors began to value the style, and more American artists began to experiment with it after absorbing academic fundamentals.

and now, for some stuff im pasting over from my fat google doc

Country Witchcraft, Wisdom, and Lore

“you can sleep with a skeleton key under your pillow to increase your chances of flight during sleep. you can wrap a horseshoe in white cloth and place it under your pillow to speak with the devil’s wife during your sleep. you can leave a glass of water out and ask your ancestors for visions during your sleep.” (Oberon, 15)

“folkloric witches don't use circles the way most wiccan folks do. circles do pop up in folklore but not too often. circles appear almost always when something is being conjured.” (oberon, 16)

“it was a brass screw in a gun that prevents a witch from placing a curse on the gun” (oberon, 18.)

“piss in a mason jar, throw in broken glass, mirrors, barbed wire, sulfer, and bullets. bury it somewhere on your property. if a spirit or spell comes looking for you they will mistake the urine for you and get caught in the bottle.” (oberon, 19)

fashion

the Victorian tradition of wearing mementos in honor of deceased loved ones. Many of these items included ashes placed into rings or necklaces made out of human hair. However, over time mourning jewelry evolved and became more of a fashion statement, even though most jewelry wearers lived on and continued to struggle with their grief.

the items weren’t just mementos to wear around one’s neck, but were something that you carried with you 24/7, no matter how much you may have hated it.

https://gemgeneve.com/the-necklace-from-antiquity-to-the-present/

Precursor of the Bulgari ones by far, one of the most typical examples is the serpent necklace paved with turquoise. In the 19th century, turquoise stands for “forget me not”, and the colour of the Forget Me Not flower is, precisely, turquoise. Therefore, the stone itself means “don’t forget me”. With the snake biting its tail being the symbol of eternity, this necklace is actually a love jewel. The message of these serpents is not at all about evil, but it is a love message: “Don’t forget me. Love me forever”. As the symbolism of forms and stones is deeper, wearers in the 19th century are much more aware of this particular message.

The necklace remains at the base of the neck, but what changes are the motifs and the materials. In the 1860s and 70s there comes to be a craze for archaeological revival jewellery and women go to wear ancient-looking jewellery. Archaeological revival necklaces were copies of genuine ancient pieces. Jewellers like Castellani try to reproduce not only the design but also the materials, and the techniques. Sometimes, these necklaces are close replicas. Some other times they are pastiches: they look like antique in style but are an invention of the late 19th century jewellers, as no such necklace would ever have been created in ancient times.

Materials become unusual: from little shells to tiger claws, for example: this was a consequence of improved travel, of tourism, and people going travelling and acquiring souvenir jewellery in exotic locations and bringing them back to Europe.

Dances/musicians

https://www.learn2dance4fun.com/dance-classes/country-dance-lessons/western-waltz-dance-lessons/

https://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/entries/babel-a-o

“In the Houston city directory of 1881 he went by the name Alexander O. Babel and continued to be the musical attraction at the Solo Saloon. The Galveston Daily News later commented in 1885: “Whether he played by note or not, he tossed from the keys of the grand piano that stood on a stage at the side of the large hall every variety and shade of music from the most delicate to the most sonorous tones.” Babel also gave concerts in other towns and church festivals in Texas.”

From playing piano in texas to mining in new mexico. Played in chicago, then new york, 

Lots of papers making him into a myth. Writer from texas saw this and disproved it. 

“Despite the disparaging remarks from some Texas periodicals, Babel created a sensation across the United States to the delight of audiences in Milwaukee, St. Louis, Atchison, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Chicago, New York, and Bangor. He was hailed as a piano master who played more than 1,200 songs and even performed at times with a cloth over the keys. The “Texas Wonder” played at dime museums, concert halls, theaters, and other venues and sometimes gave hourly recitals.”

“By 1887 advertisements included mention of his musical partner, Mattie Babel, dubbed the “cowgirl cornetist.” Most accounts called her Babel’s wife (though at least one newspaper referred to her as his sister). Given that no one named Mattie appeared among the Babel household in early censuses, Mattie Babel was probably A. O. Babel’s wife and possibly the same Emma Rumpel mentioned as the spouse of O. A. Babel in Houston.”

Babel and his wife Mattie continued to give performances well into the 1890s and toured Canada and Europe.

research i did for a specific character whos gonna show up in chapter 4:

Freed people established all-Black towns, such as Bookertee, Clearview, Lima, and Pleasant Valley. These towns provided a market for African-American farmers and a sense of community.

The discovery of gold in 1867 at South Pass drew many immigrants to western Wyoming.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_slavery_in_Oklahoma#:~:text=The%20history%20of%20slavery%20in,state%2C%20with%20prominent%20racial%20issues. 

https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9780203496756/slavery-cherokee-nation-patrick-neal-minges 

the Indian Removal Act was the reason for the movement of the Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, Creek, and Seminole to Oklahoma (not yet called that. With these nations moving to the west, they brought with them black people, including slaves. This was the beginning of slavery in the land of Oklahoma. 

When the Cherokees were relocating it was estimated that 10-15% of the nation were African Americans. This nation in particular brought not slaves, but freed blacks. This was one of the main reasons that they were forced out of their previous land. The nation had become a safe space for slaves to run away to and slave owners wanted to diminish that possibility for slaves in the south.

By 1866, the Cherokee Nation, once so proud, had been reduced to ruins

With the forced removal of the five nations into the land of Oklahoma throughout the course of time, slavery began and progressed in the Indian territory. Specifically, in the Choctaw and Chickasaw nations, slavery and the ownership of black people became common.

https://www.lib.utk.edu/cherokee/EvolutionCherokeePersonalNames.pdf

research i did for the chinese characters

1848: The California gold rush brought more Asians to the United States, especially Chinese people from the Guangdong region

The discovery of gold in 1867 at South Pass drew many immigrants to western Wyoming.

The Union Pacific Railroad's construction in the late 1860s brought settlers to Wyoming. The railroad created towns like Cheyenne, Laramie, and Rock Springs, and attracted cowboys and cattle drives.

The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 Many Americans on the West Coast attributed declining wages and economic ills to the Chinese workers who were only 0.002% of the population, Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act to placate worker demands and assuage concerns about maintaining white "racial purity." Repealed on December 17, 1943 

https://www.globaltimes.cn/content/565882.shtml 

During the 1850s, the first revolt of the Taiping Rebellion by the Hakka people took place in Guangdong. Because of direct contact with the West, Guangdong was the center of anti-Manchu and anti-imperialist activity. 

https://www.history.com/topics/immigration/asian-american-timeline 

https://www.history.com/topics/asian-history/taiping-rebellion 

In 1856, a second Opium War broke out with the west, continuing until 1861.

https://www.history.com/topics/19th-century/chinese-exclusion-act-1882

stuff for solveig

“The huge population growth between 1800 and 1900 led to overcrowding within the social structure of the day and was one contributing factor to the wave of emigrants leaving Norway for North-America.” 

“During the next centuries, much of the farmland was sold off to the previous leaseholders and became private property for the many. Owning your own land has been – and still is – an important part of the Norwegian identity.”

https://evergreenpost.eu/the-old-norwegian-farm-its-land-and-surroundings/ 

AND THATS ALL I CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF THAT I HAVE ACCESS TOO RIGHT NOW.... IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OR WANNA KNOW ABT SPECIFIC STUFF TELL ME AND I CAN EASILY ANSWER THEM AND PROVIDE A GOOD DEAL OF INFO

[asp1diske-art]

Your technical skill with lineart and shading is amazing in itself, but it's your ability to convey emotion and atmosphere in your work that is trademark to me :) its incredible how you can show through gesture and body language just what these masked, expressionless characters are feeling, and how the environment itself conveys that. Your lurien comics, especially the one that ends in something along the lines of "I return to the kingdom you abandoned" are I think the spark that made Lurien go from Some Guy to Deeply Interesting for me, and your use of color pop and shaky line contributed so much to the feeling in those comics. You are one of the artists whose skill at evoking emotions I aspire to <3

Oh wow, I've been reading and re-reading this for the last 20 minutes this is amazing.

So, emotions!

If there is one thing I'm proud to have accomplished during my time in Hollow Knight, it's the skill of expressing tone. Because here's the thing, facial expressions are just one of the many components of tone. (I even wrote about this in another ask some time ago.) Colors, gestures, camera angle, lighting, paneling, lines and narration - all of these come together to convey the mood of the scene.

Check out these wips from the Watcher and the Watched comic, for example.

You can see that color played a huge role in setting the atmosphere in the comic. It shows that this comic is taking place in the Watcher's Spire, but it also gives a dark, subdued feeling that wouldn't come from idk, a yellow background. The backlight emphasizes the ominous tone of the last page. As does Lurien's pose - coupled with the butler looking up and Lurien looking down, it makes it look like Lurien is looming over his butler (and the reader). All this builds up to deliver Lurien's lines with maximum impact.

So yeah, a lot goes into conveying tone in comics, and I'm very happy to hear that it was recieved well!!

The Lurien, Dreamer comic. It's almost 2 years old now but it's still one of the favorite comics I drew about him. Together with the City of Tears comic, it's the epitome of my interpretation of Lurien. My characterization of Lurien's relationship with the Pale King was quite different from the usual fanon at the time (I don't know how it is now, I haven't gone into the tags in years haha) and I wasn't really sure how people would take it. So I'm glad to hear that it got you interested in Lurien!

It's the one that took the longest too lol. Usually I draw comics in a single setting, but that one took 3 days. Besides Two Ghosts (which was an 18 chapter+@ comic that was over 50p and took about 2 months), no other comic has broken this record. I put in a lot of care into it, and it still holds a special place in my heart.

Honestly half the reason I use messy, sketchy lines is that I suck at drawing clean lines lmao. But I like to think that I've made the best of it and utilized it as an art style. In that comic especially, because the whole thing takes place in the dream realm and I wanted to give a rough, unreal feel to it.

I'd show breakdowns of this one too but the file is so big it keeps crashing lol. (Pro tip - draw your comic pages in separate files. Don't be like me and draw 300dpi 10p comics with 30 layers in each page in a single canvas. It will crash and you will be sad.) But drawing the White Palace was a interesting challenge because I usually draw in highly saturated colors whereas the Palace is, well, white. So I had to work out a way to color this without making everything looking grey, while also making it recognizable as the palace. iirc I used a lot of overlay & burn & dodge layers along with a few difference & subtract layers to give the white a slight yellow tint to stand out from the dark blue. (I'm pretty sure they're the culprits crashing the file.)

Sorry this got long, I really took this as an invitation to ramble about my art hkfsldjkflj

Thank you for all the compliments! It's an honor to hear that my art could be someone's aspiration, and I'm very happy that all my Lurien art got someone else into Lurien. I hope you have a nice day :D

[cbsorgeartworks]

The Dragon Mage's Study, 2023 72.5 hours // Photoshop My latest painting!! Commissions Open 🐊Follow me on Instagram! If you are interested in a print, email me cbsorge @ gmail and I'll let you know when I get that figured out. I am planning on selling prints. Thoughts, info, and WIP process shots below:

I started this last summer and only just now finished it!.

I kept careful track of time and logged 72.5 active work hours (not counting breaks etc) over 43 days. So I could have gotten this done much faster if I hadn't taken months long breaks from working on this. Unfortunately I love details and complexity. File time stamp beginning and end:

While I have been working professionally for a long time, for various reasons I do not have a lot of up-to-date work to show for it. I am working on changing that with a new batch of art where I show off the skills I've built up over the years, going as hard as I can. I am hopefully going to be able to finish these faster from here on out. I have lots of plans - merch to sell, projects and series of work to make - so stay tuned!! I enjoy exploring a busy scene when the details all have thought put into them. With this piece I wanted to reward the viewer for looking closely, with details making sense in context. I also wanted to present a lot of "imagination fodder" for the audience to chew on. Unlike my Willy Wonka and the Candyman piece, which was sketched out roughly and only on one or two layers, this one was done meticulously and with dozens of separate layers for a cleaner finish, necessitating several clean drawing passes. I think it worked out well, I did much less re-painting. Process steps: 1) original sketch, 2) first pass drawing, 3)final pass drawing, 4) flats, 5) shading, 6) flats+shading combined for rough painting, 7) final painting. 75% of the work was just the final step, from rough to finished painting.

Also for this piece I experimented with a color gamut mask. I wanted to exclude all warm colors (yellows, orange, red). They only show up on the mage's skin, a focal point. I think I ended up pushing some of the yellow-er greens into there too.

Now on to the next one because I miss having painting to do every day. Yay art!!

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 03 -> CH 04

"I'm not going to have to battle you to the death for my mom's dog right?" "I'm not even wearing pants. You would win."

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp

Jack had spent the entire night sleeping with his new little furry friend. He was in fact a very cuddly dog which brought some much needed comfort to Jack, especially in the night. He made sure to send a picture to Shanda in the morning letting her know the dog was in fact still alive and kicking.

The two of them ate breakfast together on the porch, Jack making sure to down his medicines and report in to his daily health check nurse. The pup had taken a liking to falling asleep in Jack's lap and he seemed to take comfort in the companionship. He had to look up the number for the vet since it wasn't something he had stored anywhere around the house.

"Hi this is Jack Thurlow, I was calling to see if anyone has reported a missing Maltese? He was roaming around alone near my house without a collar so I just wanted to see if anyone had called about him yet?" Jack called the vet and was told that no one had reported a missing dog yet but he could bring the dog in for a chip scan. He agreed he would try and find the time to bring him in but left his number if anyone called about the dog.

"Looks like it's going to be me and you for a bit buddy." Jack spent the rest of his day bagging up the rest of his parents room. Most of it was being donated, he kept a few things but he figured the more he held onto, the harder it would be to move on. The room looked so bare now that he had emptied it out. The pup sat on the windowsill while he cleaned, sunbathing and enjoying the breeze. The next room on his list was his dad's art studio. He knew that was going to be emotional so he wanted to hold off on that one.

The attic was just a no go on his list. He had bolted the door back up and refused to even venture into whatever else might be hiding in the shadows. He had survived the first bought of trauma, the last thing he wanted to do was have a redo a year out.

"What you think bud? Enough work for today, time for a walk?" The pup jumped down and followed Jack out of the room making him smile. Having a companion here with him gave him hope that this wouldn't be as hard as he thought it might be. He secretly hoped no one would claim the dog and he could just keep him as his own. These moments that they spent together, walking, snuggling on the couch or sitting on his bedroom floor just reading and listening to his little snores was peaceful. It brought him the contentment he truly desired.

Jack was thrown out of his thoughts as they returned from their walk and his phone was ringing from inside. He ran to pick it up.

"Jack Thurlow." He answered.

"Yes hi Jack, this is the Ridgeway Animal Clinic calling you back." Jack felt a sour pit in his stomach.

"Did you find the owners?" Jack asked disappointingly.

"Possibly. We gave them the address we had on file for you so they can come and see if you have their dog." Jack felt defensive.

"You just gave a stranger my address? That seems like a breach of privacy." He snipped. He listened to the young girl stumble over her words.

"I...I'm so sorry. I didn't realize they were a stranger since they literally live a few houses down." Jack let out a sigh ignoring her apologies as he glanced out of the window.

"I will keep an eye out. Thank you for calling." Before the woman could say anymore, Jack hung up, tossing his phone on the counter and plopping down on the couch. The pup hopped up into his lap and did a spin before settling into Jack's lap.

"Yeah I know bud. I'm gonna miss you too." Jack held onto the pup, petting him and feeling his anxiety ease slightly. He stayed sitting on the floor with him for a while trying to figure out a way to hide the dog or tell the owner that he was mistaken but he knew that was just his panic trying to fill his head with bad shit.

"I think it shows great progress that you've called Jack. The moment those thoughts become intrusive, it's always best not to be alone with them." Dr. Carty had been a really good therapist. Any time Jack needed something, he was always there to talk him through it or address whatever it was that came across his mending brain.

"If you want to get techincally, I'm still very much alone." Jack blanketed his sadness with sarcasm.

"I suggest talking with the owner about possibly being able to take the dog for walks in the future. If you've formed a connection with him then terminating that contact so suddenly might be detrenmental to your healing." Jack thought the idea of asking a random stranger for partial custody of a dog he didn't even know the name of was ridiculous. He doubted he would be able to muster up such an insane thing to ask whenever they came to collect but in comparison to the idea of lying or hiding sounds just as ignorant.

"When will I be ready to get my own dog? People have services dogs for mental health shit all the time. Why do I have to wait?" Jack asked again as if he hadn't already known the answer.

"You've got a six month waiting period before I can recommend you taking on a responsibility like that. Dogs and other animals are great for mental health but you've got to maintain your stability on your own before you want to add something that can be a comfort but also a stressor." Jack rolled his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be annoyed by these rules. He did slaughter his own dog so why should anyone give him an animal.

Jack talked to his therapist for about 2 hours that night. He finally started turing the lights off downstairs to call it a night when someone knocked at the door. Jack froze, checking the clock to see it was 11:30PM. He looked down at the dog and sat him on the couch before approaching the door.

When he opened it, a woman was standing there looking slightly dishievled with a dog collar in her hands.

"Hi! Are you Jack? I'm y/n, I live a few houses down with my Mom. The vet called-" Jack cut her off.

"That was this morning. It's almost midnight." Jack cut through plesantries annoyed that someone had actually shown up.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't get away from the office until 6 and my mother-" Y/n could tell he was tired but being this cold to a stranger seemed a bit odd.

"Do you have any proof that the dog is yours? I mean you can't expect me to just hand him over to some stranger." Jack crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

"To be honest, you're the stranger to him." Y/n wasn't going to let some long haired asshat be rude to her after the day she had.

"You know, suddenly I have no recollection of this dog." Jack started to shut the door and Y/n put her hand on it.

"Look, I'm sorry for being so late. I work at a clinic and when I get home, I have to care for my mother who is recovering from a stroke. You have no idea how much I appreciate you taking care of Ace." Y/n was trying to find some common ground but the only thing that calmed Jack was knowing that Ace was the name of the dog he had been hanging out with.

"Ace is better than Bud. Glad he has a proper name." Jack softened. Y/n smiled.

"Thankfully I named him. My mom wanted to name him Petey." Jack cringed.

"The best she could do was Petey? I guess he got lucky then." Jack didn't want to be an asshole. He just wanted to keep Ace a little longer.

"I'm not trying to be a dick or anything but do you maybe have proof he's your dog? A photo or something?" Y/n pulled her phone out of her pocket and pulled open her photos. She showed Jack a picture of her mom laying in bed with Ace sitting in her lap. She looked to be in poor health but the smile she had on her face triggered a memory in Jack's brain.

"Sunflowers...she brought sunflowers over when my parents died." Jack rememebered nothing outside of her stopping by and giving him sunflowers but Y/n's face lit up.

"She does infact grow sunflowers. I think she grows all the house wives favorite flowers to be honest. Did your mom like sunflowers?" She asked curiously. Jack nodded his head slowly getting lost in his own thoughts, trying to remember her name.

"I'm not going to have to battle you to the death for my mom's dog right?" Jack snapped out of it.

"I'm not even wearing pants. You would win." Jack pushed the door open before walking back to the living room and scooping Ace up into his arms.

"He looks a lot like my childhood dog, Rusty. I lost him last year." Jack explained walking back to the door with Ace snuggled in his arms.

"I'm sorry to hear about Rusty." Y/n frowned.

"He seems to really like you. He ususally doesn't like to be held like that by anyone but my mom." Y/n reached out to scratch Ace's head instead of taking him from Jack right away. He appreciated that.

"Alright Ace, party's over. Time to head home." Jack took one more long snuggle before handing him back to Y/n.

"Thank you againg for taking such good care of him. He's really been a huge help with my mom's recovery." Jack snorted at her response.

"Yeah I hear they're pretty good for that sort of thing." Jack watched her put Ace's collar back on and attach a leash.

"Hey...um I know this is weird and I was a total asshole when you knocked but do you think...maybe I could walk him sometimes? He was kind of the best part of my day for the last 24 hours so..." Jack had stepped out onto the deck, forgetting that he was in his boxers and a tshirt.

"Of course. I don't get to walk him as much because of work so I'm sure he would love that. You're welcome to come by any time. We're right down there in the blue house." Y/n pointed to the house and Jack could actually see the garden from where he stood.

"Thank you." Jack felt relief wash over him. He didnt' think he would ask but he was glad he did. Y/n seemed open to the idea of him spending time with Ace so that meant he needed to reel in the sarcatic condesention when he talked to people.

"Have a good night Jack." Y/n smiled at him before leading Ace down the steps into the street. Jack watched them walk for a few paces before going back inside. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and rolled his eyes at his appearance.

"Only I could look homeless in a large family home." Jack turned off the lights and headed upstairs to bed. Not having anything to cuddle up to meant he was back to snuggling with a pillow. Not as cute but for now, he had to hold onto future interactions with Ace and Y/n to get him through.

[feather-dancer]

As we're coming to the end of January (Finally) and it's a new year, figured start doing writing round ups again. It's been very cold for a chunk of December and all this month meaning the joy of swollen fingers, being forced to stop due to being chilled and the usual flare ups which aren't art friendly. Stuck writing only or not, much prefer it over last January where I was in a helluva lot of pain for a chunk of it.

So what have I been up to? Well one thing I've wanted to do for literal years is go back to several fics/oneshots that were written pre it being pointed out I had a bad run on sentence habit and fixing it. In the process I've been sorting out any typos (Surprisingly rare), repetitive wording, one case of time not being consistent, double spacing caused by keyboard errors, clearer paragraphing and generally improving flow where things are reading a bit janky. Last year I finished the two Fashionista oneshots and this month I've managed to clean up:

Along came a word - A writing meme collection

Savouring Memories

Currently at the time of typing this I'm on page 10 / 26 of Stars. This is the third attempt to scrub the thing and furthest I've gotten as it's got a lot more to fix than anything else I've touched so far. Did you know past me never bothered to put the Trollish translations IN THE FILE? That one particularly is driving me nuts. The last part I fixed up was:

Rest of the end of day tasks are thankfully light thanks to both the morning blitz and the bits and pieces in between leaving the seemingly endless amount of rubbish collecting (That one always annoys him) and sink clearing. After giving himself a smidge longer of rest, he cracks on because such a precious space deserves to be treated with the utmost respect even if the clientele didn't always carry the same curtsey. Not like a broom or a sponge was that unusual in his hands anyway, no matter how old he got it seemed the old chores of Camelot followed closely behind like a spectre. Ten minutes is pretty good going considering how bad it can be…

Also had to fight a weird bug which kept defaulting spelling to US English until I just removed it entirely. After chapter 1 is complete gonna be moving on to Heart of Glass as per the poll. Just want to finish chapter 1 first because it was originally written in a week, shows and was always the biggest one I wanted to go back and sort.

Currently the Shame Chart is looking like this:

Please note: These thoughts of you is not included on the above due to being an already posted oneshot but will be scrubbed as well.

This is everything I have kicking around somewhere including some that don't even have a title yet. I want this to be a year of finishing things and I def want to be on with clearing some things out post scrubbing. Stars third chapter has had 10 pages this entire time, Ghost!AU two, then there's the oneshots and things in my asks... Likely will poll what people are most interested in closer to the time. Still want to do something with those Not!Enrique test pages.

Anyways that's where we're at right now. Really hoping the temps pick up though I'm fed up of having to exist in endless layers and gloves while fighting my system's need to hibernate. Today having an angry elbow at typing is a new one though only taken one day off writing entirely this month so that's fair honestly. While doing this I'm attacking my reading backlog so if I suddenly appear on an older work of yours, that's why.

[mochibuni]

Monthly Update - January

Like last year I'll be going over my art goals for 2025, but before that I wanted to talk about the state of my Patreon, as well as my storefront, commissions, and so on.

Late last year I came across a post discussing that Patreon was really supposed to be a way for people to support their favorite creators to give them the ability to make the projects they want to do. Somewhere between the beginning and now Patreon has morphed to a kind of storefront with increasing amount of incentives that became the creator's sole work instead of the projects they wanted to work on.

I definitely fell trap to this, and like so many have pointed out, it's really not sustainable for so many artists to do this. I found that out pretty quickly and I felt like trash having to pull back nearly all of my incentives and felt like I wasn't giving anything deserving of support. Unsurprisingly this didn't help my depression and anxiety at all loool.

I know I've already pulled back a lot on Patreon and other venues, largely because of health problems. I'm hoping a lot of my health issues become less in 2025 and I can get back to making things with less pain. With that in mind, I'm trying to change my mindset about Patreon in that I am going to treat it as a place people can give me monthly support and understand it is because they want to support me and not solely because they want something more. I'm hoping freeing myself from thinking these obligations exist will improve my health and art overall.

That isn't to say I won't be offering bonuses for Patrons! Free members and Discord members still receive access to all of my WIPs and wallpapers (though this is because I don't want to Glaze my WIPs all the time, so I'm putting them behind a free membership to make it harder for bots to scrape). Paid members will receive high res files and any coloring pages and digital prints I make, which I like making both of those so those will continue to happen.

I will be posting coloring pages on my Ko-Fi storefront for purchase, and I'll try to be better about uploading my designs on INPRNT and TeePublic. I actually would love to create more T-Shirt specific designs, but, you know, health and time.

At some point I do plan on reopening commissions and streaming on Twitch again. Dan has been helping with my new set up and encouraging me to get back to it, and I've been more excited about the prospect by the day. Tarkin's death still weighs pretty heavily on me, especially since I liked to have him on stream and his health decline is also why I stopped streaming last year. But we have a new puppy! By the time you're reading this Sheev Pupatine has made it to our home and we're likely franticly trying to clean up after him.

Okay will all of that business talk out of the way, let's talk art goals for 2025! Please feel free to join me in making your own creative goals for the year.

1) Continue pursing full illustrations with detailed backgrounds.

I did a little bit of this in 2024 and it's something I really want to keep pushing for because I want to join projects that usually require such things in application portfolios.

2) Keep working on body diversity.

I actually think I did really well pushing myself on this last year to the point that it feels a lot more natural to not draw tiny pale shoujo girls. My diversity could always be better, though, so I'll keep at it in any of my work that suits it.

3) Practice traditional art.

Traditional Art August gave me confidence and inspiration working with traditional media that I have been itching to get back to it. I don't know if I'll need to make another monthly event to force myself time to work on it, but I will be pretty mad at myself if I don't have at least one traditional art piece next year.

4) Rework my promo and branding material.

I've been meaning to do this for a few year, but I always put it off because it requires so much work and new art and I've just never had the headspace for any of it. I don't even know if I have the headspace for it now. I did make a new icon for myself, but I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with it. I need a new banner to match the new logo I made over a year ago. I need new commission and storefront promotional graphics. I need to finish my sprite edits for stream. I need to work on Sparkling Sweets for stream as well.

5) Learn how to make a zine and other pdf projects.

My discord agreed to help me with this and we're going to be participating in a year long creative project that I can then use as practice for creating pdf spreads. I'm pretty excited about this in general as I haven't done a collab project since the Tumblr hate group tried to drive me and others out of fandom. As long as my group keeps me accountable, I'm confident this goal will actually happen!

I hope you all had a pleasant holiday season! As foreboding as 2025 is turning out to be, I do wish the very best for us and that we survive the year largely unscathed. Thank you for being here and continuing to support me! I really wouldn't be here doing what I do without all of you.

[thebloink]

The 2nd Post

Hi, Its been 2 years since my last real post. So I've decided to compile a bunch of the work I've done, Finished or Not and post it here.

VIP_Miami (Unfinished, Scrapped)

VIP_Miami was a map made for Team Fortress 2 Classic inspired by Gorge set between 2 hotels. This map was a test to see how urban, art decor could possibly look in the Team Fortress Style. This map ended up being cut due to being overscaled and messy. Playtesters did comment they liked the gazebo first point so I might return to that idea again sometime.

Koth_Crossover (Released)

A collaboration between me and the talented Gamingcam. We both set out to create Pre-Fortress 2's flagship map for the 0.7 update. Gamingcam handled the layout and initial art passes, while I mostly cleaned it up and overhauled the color palette to make the map more friendly and inviting.

Koth_Crossover Beta Variant (Unreleased)

For a good while Crossover featured moss on the top of its rocks. Despite being mostly positvitely recieved, I came to the conclusion that It didn't make much sense for what I was going for. So It was removed.

Dom_Canalzone (Unfinised)

Canalzone was a port of the Team Fortress Classic map of the same name. The difference being it was now Domination instead of Territoral Control like in TFC. This map was ported to test if 5 Control Point Domination could work. It somewhat worked but 3 Control Point maps were the superior way to go. I was planning to make a map inspired by Canalzone taking what I learned from this port but it never came to fruition.

Invade_Push (Unfinished)

A port of Push from Team Fortress Classic, Main goal was to create a port of Push that felt more open and not confined. I think this was achieved in my opinion. I'm happy with how this was turning out and I may return some day to finish it.

DM_Icebox (Unfinished, Scrapped)

Icebox is a Deathmatch map made for Open Fortress. Inspired by IceWorld, Shipment, and Rust. The map is a fast paced kill-box. It was postively recieved however due to losing the source files I do not have the motivation to continue working on it.

DM_Aqua (Unfinished, Scrapped)

Another map for Open Fortress, This map was never really playtested. Scrapped due to not being fond of how I laid out a lot of the layout ideas. I might return to these concepts in the future although.

DM_Fotia Artpass Concept (Scrapped)

A while back I started a remake of DM_Fotia for Open Fortress. The map is still currently in development but this was a Art Test of what the map could've looked like. This was most likely the finalized idea till I lost the source files for the artpass. I will most likely explore different themes to see what I like the best.

Theres a lot more I wanna post that I can't include in this post so stay tuned for more stuff I guess.

[ask-de-writer]

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THE FISHERMAN'S LEG (Part 13 of 20)

A sequel to Dee 1/2 Demon

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

16914 words (work in progress)

© 2023 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

TUMBLR EXEMPTION

Blog holding members of Tumblr.com may freely reblog this story provided that the title, author and copyright information remain intact, unaltered, and are displayed at the head of the story.

Fan art, stories, music, cosplay and other fan activity is actively encouraged.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

New to the story? Read from the beginning HERE.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Magistrate Lim was facing Minami yet again. The Fisherman was kneeling in front of him, Constable Canra standing just behind him with his ever present cudgel to quell any unruly behavior, of which Minami had been guilty several times.

He sighed and opened the thick file of Minami's many transgressions. “Minami san, why did you cause this violent fight in the village's Pauper's dining room? You know that good behavior is the only requirement to receive free food, yet you not only complained of the food, you threw good rice, fish, vegetables and bread about in anger! Why did you do so?”

“Magistrate san, They insulted us terribly! They tried to feed us that ghastly mucky tasting mud shark for a fish! It is nothing but foul bottom scavenger!”

“I see, Minami san. I have heard you call them that sort of thing for somewhat over twenty years. Tell me, have you ever tasted one?”

Minami bowed the light bob of conversation and replied, face contorted with disgust, “Never! Nor will I! I have seen them gobble up mud or sand and make great clouds of it with my own eyes! I could not be wrong because I have seen it many times!”

“Minami san, you have dug a yam from a garden, yes?”

“Of course! Who has not?”

“Is it ready to eat as it comes from the ground on your spade?”

“Certainly not! It must be washed free of dirt first.”

“Just so, Minami san. The sand shark finds its food lurking in the mud. Clams, shrimp, snails, blennys, small crabs, all sorts of animals. At the front of its gills are some stiff bristles that hold the prey. It blows the mud and sand out through its gill slits until the prey is clean to swallow.

“It eats no mud or sand, only creatures that are wholesome for it. The cloud of mud that you saw after it bit at the bottom was simply from washing its prey before eating.

“I have been taken out and caught such sharks myself and then cleaned them. Thus, I know from experience that the sand sharks are wholesome to eat.

“None will deny what you have seen for the last twenty years. The problem has arisen because you did not realize that what you saw was not the whole of what was happening.

“If you can understand that, dine with me and you may taste the truth of this. If not, I must fine you twenty five of copper cash.”

Minami looked up in total surprise! “Dinner and no fine? Or a fine and no dinner? Magistrate Lim san, I will dine with you and see if perhaps I have been in error about this.”

Later, waiting out the night in his cell, Fisherman Minami admitted to himself that he had been wrong about the sand sharks. They were in fact delicious.

Within two days other unruly behavior got him put onto the roads of Sabo province for a moon.

After about two weeks, living with his mother and “Big Sisters” Minara and Takahra, Ichuru was coming out of his shell, as some say. He even took delight in helping in the garden because, instead of seeing it as a chore, he was being included along with them!

He was spending half of each working day helping Patsu and her new girls to build the new boat for his mother. The other half was in the Fish Market! The customers would entrust him with their cash and take his carefully wrapped packages of fish in return!

With ten year old enthusiasm, he led the charge! “Everything's put away! Race you to the boat for crabbing!”

Takahara, who could easily outpace him, ALMOST beat him to the Chiasu dock to get a rental boat! Minara and his mother, Tanira followed more sedately.

They all bowed to him, sitting in the boat of his choice. “You have remembered your floats, Ichuru san. I see that you have got our crab trap rings and baits too. This is all excellently done.”

Only partly because it would make him feel more included, they all donned floats too. Rowing a ways out, they planted their crab ring traps under floats that would let them be found later and began trolling, pulling a baited hook on a longish line let out from the boat's small crane, mainly used to raise the crab traps.

The end of the crane yanked down! Something had taken the bait! Ichuru watched the crane tip. As it rose, he wound in line, making it bow down again. He kept that up, letting the crane do the work of pulling up the big reddish snapper!

Takahara got a big scooping net under it and the pulled it in! They put the fish in the catch box after they got the hook out of its mouth.

Minara and Tanira took the oars and rowed them back to their crab traps. With the line in the crane changed for the lifting of traps, they brought up one, until its upper ring was above water.

Here, it was Minara and Tanira's turn. Carefully reaching into the corralled crabs, they pulled out the first one. Minara laid the gage across its shell and grumped good naturedly, “Too small!” As she tossed it back to the sea with a splash, she told it, “There you go. Grow up some for us!”

The next three all went into the catch box. Minara took the fourth one with a grunt, “Oh, you are a big one, aren't you? Lucky day for you, dear, you are too big, back you go!” Ichuru watched the crab swim away.

“I didn't know that crabs can swim! Why did we put it back? Isn't a big one more valuable?”

Tanira gave him a bit of a hug and explained, “Yes, they can swim some. They don't like to, though. We put back big ones like that because they will make more than ten times as many baby crabs as the smaller ones will.”

Takahara picked up, “Besides just numbers, the big crabs won't let little crabs mate with them. That means that all their youngsters that don't get caught will grow into more big crabs. So, letting them go means that there will always be lots of good crabs for us to catch and eat.”

As he was winding in line for the next crab trap, Ichuru nodded, “That makes sense, Takahara san. Thank you.”

The next morning, they could not find Ichuru! As the girls and his mother searched frantically for him they found that his toy boat and floats were missing too!

Down at the docks there was even more consternation! The Sea Lion had been stolen sometime in the night or early morning!

To be Continued

<==PREVIOUS ~~ NEXT==>

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[ravetaper]

Mark Farina Halloween 2015 Live Set

This is a 3-hour audio recording of Mark Farina Halloween 2015 live set recorded in Orange County, California, on October 31, 2015.

Mark F'ing Farina. Easily in the top 5 deep house dj's. Probably in the top three. Maybe in the top 2?

Come on. I've never heard someone deliver such deep funk so consistently. Every. Single. Time.

So this is an interesting recording. It's not from my archive of classic rave recordings, nor something recorded recently. This is the audio counterpart to a live video stream I did all the way back in 2015.

Today, post Covid, the mention of live streaming elicits not even a yawn, we are so desensitized to it by now. For obvious reasons, the real streaming revolution happened 2019-2021. So I consider it a little feather in my cap that Rave Tapes was running good-sounding, multi-cam streams long before the trend took off.

The event? A cozy Halloween party hosted by Swerve Underground, the monthly event hosted by producer/dj Wally Callerio of Dufflebag Recordings and partner/dj 1st Nature. Wally has been a respected producer for years and had the right connections to pull some amazing names down to their Orange County venue, an hour south of Los Angeles. Names like Dereck Carter, Doc Martin, and other titans of the deep house movement.

So when the opportunity came up to do a live video stream of their Halloween party, taking place in a cool bohemian art space, with special guest Mark Farina? Pfft. It was the chance I had been waiting for, lol!

So, miraculously, the whole thing went off almost without a hitch. I say almost because I believe power was cut to the decks at one point. But considering it was a 2+ hour set, we forgot about it almost instantly after power was restored. Otherwise, the internet connection was good, my gear held up. It happened. In fact, here's the video evidence:

So this is the audio to that. While the audio in the YouTube version sounds unbelievably clean, this sounds even better. I finally went back and properly mixed the four audio channels, left-right stereo pair from the dj decks, then left-right stereo pair from the room mic.

It sounds absolutely pristine, if I do say so myself. I had to decide how loud to keep the mic levels vs the feed from the dj mixer. I think I am happy with these levels but I might change my mind and update the file at some point.

The content? Well, it's good ol' reliable Mark Farina. Of course every dj has a "look" and Farina certainly has his trademark glasses and scruffy chin. But man, when you see that familiar visage behind the decks and hear the funky bass line over the system, you know you have nothing to worry about. You know you're in for a good time.

Last time I saw Farina was EDC 2022 Bionic Jungle stage. It was very late Sat night. Actually very early morning Sunday about 4 am. Still dark and trippy.

Saturday. Hump day. People are grinding in more ways than one. And Mark is closing out little Bionic Jungle. I don't mean little in a condescending way. Actually, the inconspicuousness of the stage is what made it so great. It was def an intimate space and you could get right up close to your favorite deep house dj's. My only issue that night was that it wasn't going to yield a complete Rave Tapes recording. Yes, I recorded while I danced there. But knew I was arriving late because of another set, and I knew I was leaving early because I don't like getting stuck in parking. While there may have been an hour of material, the other issue was there was a nasty buzzing coming from some vibrating stage rigging.

So that's probably why I'm mentioning EDC here, because it's a good opportunity to discuss it since there will never be a Rave Tapes recording from that night to link it to.

I guess my point is, be it at Swerve Halloween 2015, EDC 2022, or the other times I've heard Farina play, Farina always, ALWAYS, delivers a top shelf performance.

While I'm always eager to bring these live sets to you for the sake of your listening pleasure, truth be told, I get excited when posting these because in most cases it's the first time I get to have easy SoundCloud access to the mixes, too.

And with this one, I'm over-the-moon thrilled for completely selfish reasons ;)

Nevertheless, please enjoy!

Follow and support Mark Farina!

Mark Farina Instagram

Mark Farina Beatport

Mark Farina Spotify

Mark Farina SoundCloud

[dustedmagazine]

Linda Smith & Nancy Andrews — A Passing Cloud (Grapefruit/Gertrude Tapes)

A Passing Cloud by Linda Smith & Nancy Andrews

Linda Smith

A Passing Cloud is the first new music in over 20 years by ur-home-taper Linda Smith, reunited after even longer with her old bandmate, Nancy Andrews. In the late 1980s, Smith stood out as a rare female participant in the mostly male home-taped music scene that preceded the early 1990s international pop underground. Her CD releases on Feel Good All Over and Harriet placed her alongside Stuart Moxham as an example of what many artists recording for K and other such imprints wanted to become. Her music was informed by the emotional and sonic contours of 1960s AM radio pop, filtered through the sense of possibility and acceptance of untutored skills sparked by groups like the Raincoats, crafted using simple tools and sold in shoebox-sized quantities to like-minded, home-made music fans. Smith swapped music-making for painting in 2001, but a couple of compilations of old tracks have kept her sounds circulating.

Even before Smith started four-tracking, she was in bands. During a mid-1980s sojourn in New York, she and house-mate Nancy Andrews were in one called the Woods. They parted ways as creative partners when Smith discovered home-taping and Andrews pursued other arts, but remained friends. Music reentered the equation in 2020, when Smith made a proposal to resume working together after she was taken anew by some of their old work while cleaning out her old tape drawers during a COVID-mandated year off from her day job. They sent files back and forth between Maine, where Andrews now lives, and Maryland, for a couple years, and completed A Passing Cloud in 2022, thirty years after their last recording together.

In some respects, the album’s 12 songs feel quite rooted in the music they made back in the day. Their singing is unaffected and effects-free, born upon guitar licks that owe an undeniable debt to the third Velvet Underground album. However, drum programming and recording options being what they can be nowadays for anyone who owns a computer, the rhythms are a bit more assertive, the sound mix cleaner and more separate.

More significantly, there’s a clarity of intent about this music, a sense that its makers were consciously trying to see what new place it might take them. Andrews and Smith  kickstarted their songwriting process by cribbing lines from the former’s collection of detective paperbacks, which they used to generate stories more concerned with the manipulation of characters than the resolution of crimes. “How Could I Know” recounts a series of descriptive details about a woman, following by the question, “How could I know?” Not only does the repeated phrase make a nice hook, it drives home the message that the questioner really did know the protagonist, which in turn sets the listener on a course of making up their own stories about that relationship. Loops of dialogue sampled from some old movie abstracts melodrama into something more opaque on “The Whispering Cup,” and “Spare Me The Details” reimagines the sound of early mersh Residents as a vehicle for a couple of unabashedly older woman to pleasantly sing about giving no fucks. The music on A Passing Cloud may reference past methods and styles, but they feed an authentically present-centered process of creation. It turns out that that bedroom pop aesthetic has legs that can go the distance.

Bill Meyer

[excadrill]

tagged by @yj-98 ilyyy 🫶🫶🤍

RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

tag as many people as their are wips.. eep.. sorry i'd put this under a cut but it's not working on mobile 😭

ankhgiveaway.sai [i held an art giveaway in february and havent finished the prizes even tho i keep looking at them and going 'i need to and Want to finish this..']

yuukigiveaway.sai [same as above but the person who requested this one deactivated so i. don't know if i'm still gonna finish it]

sonomomo.sai [my current priority 'For Me' wip.. ive shared this wip w some people but ive never done a proper piece for the 'cycle of life and death' thing for them so that's what this one is..💙❤️]

exozinewip5.sai [pokemon zine oc piece, not supposed to share zine wips so idk if i should say more but it's of my beloved gymsona.. this zine will be free + digital and i'll ofc be promoting it more when it's done but it's soooo cute keep your eyes out for this one :3c '5' not bc im contributing multiple pieces but bc this piece is big and slightly intimidating for me so i keep saving different versions when i do major merges]

pocketzine-nymble.sai [another pokemon zine piece, so i can't really say more But it's not the only thing im contributing to this zine, ive just finished all my other stuff already]

oczine-thumbs.sai [thumbs for an oc zine i signed up for that i'll probably drop out of bc im not feeling like a vibe w everyone else there >w>;;; ]

philip.sai [philip piece ive had sitting around basically since i finished W.. about a year ago now i think ? but i transferred it to my '23 wips folder bc i still wanna finish it..it was supposed to be a 'this one will be quick and easy so i'll have smthn i Finished this month outside of zine stuff' but. zine stuff took up all my time and energy oops]

mrtourism.sai [this one's a silly post-canon kirihiko art i've Also had sitting around for like a year. i chip away at this one sometimes but then keep restarting bc im unsatisfied with the lines i wish i could just sit down and finish it bc i Love Him]

platform.sai [ummm silly ryotaro thing i drew after watching the den-o final stage ^__^ not a high priority one but it's cute so like. maybe one day]

punkjackhelmet.sai [file name was bc i was originally doing helmet studies before it turned into a full sketch. punkjack with the beat buckle bc i was doing this right after his special came out 🎃🫶]

colourwheel.sai [ummm well. yeah im not good at finishing art memes when theyre still on trend. i did all the sketches for these but i probably won't finish at this point..]

poppyangel.sai [poppy ex-aid i sketched as a break between big stuff the other day that i like a lot so. maybe will finish but might just post unfinished if i cant find the energy to get to this one sooner. feel bad that i like ex-aid so much but don't have any clean art done for it..]

millirider.sai [toku oc planning :3 i was saying last night i finally figured the helmet out which ive been struggling with for ages so hopefullyyyy i get around to doing a proper ref sheet]

im not at my laptop rn so im doing this off the top of my head but i THINK that's everything.. tagging umm @ankhisms @heartvisor @madaraki @circeancity @horrorcomedies @yu3s @pleuvoire @kosukeiichi @danothan @seashrine @asticassia @eclipse-song @kirider only if you guys wanna 🤍🤍

[roboladgames]

REGLITCHED Short Devlog: Late January 2024 (Happy Birthday, FNaF World!)

It's been a very LONG while since I last used this site (last time I used it was when I was working on an original game that got nowhere) but I should probably get back into it again so that there's more variety in the amount of people looking at my current project: "FNaF World REGLITCHED," which I've been working on for nearly a year now.

Just click here for the GameJolt Page or you can follow me here and I'll try to post the same day. They'll be reprised of the same information I use from GameJolt.

OH, and the music is done by Matson, which is also on the game's page for anyone that wants to take a listen to it!

Short Synopsis

Plans for development this year (such as the fighting abilities, models, shops, and hopefully bug testing for the demo)

What's currently been done:

ENTIRELY Reworked Customization Menu (allowing to be a little bit more understandable and accessible)

You can create up to 1000 save files AND 1000 presets for your teams and your games (long are the days of only 3 save files and 7 presets to choose from)

The game's current size is nearly just under the size FNaF World's size is (FNaF World is 330 MB, REGLITCHED currently is 320 MB).

Continue reading to get the full synopsis of the devlog!

Long Synopsis

I wanted to start off 2024 by revamping a lot of the scripting we've made for the game in terms of Saves, Presets, and UI. As a lot of people could see, the Old Customization menu is on it's death bed and many people would say it's trying to be too much of both, FNaF World AND UCN.

You can see the glaring problems of this old customization menu, examples being:

Old Renders

Confusing Controller Button Layouts with descriptions

Too much information crammed into the screen

An overall, just a complete mess of spaghetti code that shouldn't be that way

So this is the new customization menu, much more refined and allows characters you haven't collected yet to be on screen when you collect them. Plus, NO PAGES! It's all a scroll away (for controller users, the scroll will continue onto your focus so you have no worries about it. It also looks amazingly clean in 1080p!

Bumpers determines if you want to change your characters, chips, or bytes with each screen and is saved flawlessly.

As for triggers? When you select your character, you can look between their attacks and read the descriptions and their damage.

I think this change was necessary and the fact it works as beautifully as it does is amazing. So much so that it's inspired me to want to update and start working on the menu AND settings as well.

---------------

I currently have plans for the development of the game moving forward, I'm not too sure if the fishing minigame will make it in during the progress but I'm hoping to get many of the hurdles that people will be wanting in the game to be fully accessable and, at the very least, playable and workable with both, keyboard+mouse and the controller. I'm trying to be as transparent as possible when thinking about the development for the game and how we'll be able to make it to the demo showcase. Here's what I'm thinking on each quarter:

2024 QUARTER 1- half of 2:

Fully reworking Main Menu and Pause Menu UI, A settings menu (filled with settings for windowed/fullscreen, sizes for those screens, and remapping controls [I hope to god it works]), the Store UI, and the dialogue scenes

This is so that many of the art during the time I'm working on this, could be finished and can be worked on later on for some of the attacks. ALSO this allows me to test controllers more often and rework some of the controller button images and make keyboard/mouse ones as well

2024 QUARTER 2 + 3 (if it gets worse, it'll probably be the rest of the year):

More Character Models, Fight Abilities/Short Minigames/Bosses, More Visual Stuff, etc.

I want to get more characters done and modeled for the game. Hopefully getting up to characters all the way up to the second row of the OG or half of the third row. This is so that we have a ton more to work with and more to animate with, I'm going to be finding more animators helping out with them if we're going to need them during that time but I believe thats for Chip and I to decide on how the progress for the game at that point will go along.

2024 QUARTER 4 (or if it gets to that point 2025 QUARTER 1-2):

Doing some cleaning work/finished up details and polishing for the demo version of the game.

This is the point where we're having everything finished up and ready to go for QA people to playtest the demo for and hope everything is up to standard (the highest of highs). I do want to make sure that people actually enjoy and give their feedback about the game we're giving to them and see if they'll enjoy the final product when we get around to it.

Of course this whole entire list of quarters is most likely going to change depending on how bad the progress becomes or if we're too late to meet these goals. I am hoping this time that we actually get the demo out at SUPER Late 2025 or early 2026, just so that we don't have expectations too high.

Hope for you all to follow the progress of the game as it continues!

[missjanjie]

High Stakes | Crystal x Denali

Title: High Stakes Summary: Denali is caught up in her pre-competition training, where the stakes are as high as ever. Crystal works at the skating rink and is fairly certain Denali is the one that needs to be as high as ever. (this is a commission for @thecollectionsof ) Word Count: 1103 Relationship(s): Crystal Methyd/Denali Foxx Rating: T

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Denali caught her breath as she came to a halt. “Fuck, that’s not a first place landing, that’s third at best,” she muttered, then looked around and saw everyone start to file off the ice and realized the zamboni was about to do its round, so she promptly made her way out as well. She sat down on the bench and decided she had earned a break and took her skates off, sighing in relief at the release of pressure. “Fuck…” she exhaled, then, upon getting a look of disapproval from a nearby mother with two small children, offered a quiet ‘sorry’ before getting up and moving to the concession stand.

“You know, I think you were here before I was even awake,” Crystal remarked as she rang up Denali’s order. “You renting space in the back office or something?”

“Honestly, it’d be a pretty convenient living arrangement, at least for the time being,” she mused as she paid for her meal. “I have a qualifying competition for the national figure skating championship in two days. Gotta milk out every bit of practice while I still can.”

Crystal looked at her skeptically. “Well, good luck, but I don’t think over-exerting yourself is gonna get you the results you’re hoping for,” she told her, adding, “but I barely passed gym in high school, so, what do I know, right?”

“Right,” she laughed softly and shook her head as she took her tray and found a spot to sit and eat. Sure, she knew deep down that she was being too hard on herself – even her coach said she should spend the last couple of days resting up before the competition. But she couldn’t help herself, it wasn’t her. She needed to know she was doing everything in her physical capacity to ensure her placement in nationals.

In less than an hour, Denali was back on the ice, where she remained until the zamboni came through again, then got in a bit more practice before the rink was set to close for the night. She showered off in the locker room and left the rink in a clean set of clothes.

“Were you seriously in there for all ten hours?” Crystal asked from her spot, leaning against the side of the building. “I’m starting to think you’re part robot. Or, like, a vampire or something.”

“I don’t think I would need to practice so much if I was,” she retorted, then looked the other girl over. She appeared to be close to her age, maybe a couple years younger, so she asked, “you go to college around here?”

“Art school,” she nodded. “You know, racking up debts I’ll never pay off because I’ll probably be doing this for another ten years before they promote me to manager out of pity. Typical, right?”

Denali leaned against the wall with her, setting her bag at her feet. “With that attitude, maybe,” she teased, then noticed an unlit joint in Crystal’s hand. “You lighting that up now? I could really go for a hit.”

Crystal laughed. “Right outside of my job? C’mon, give me some credit. This is just where I buy my weed. Too bad you didn’t finish your impromptu bootcamp training ten minutes earlier, she could’ve hooked you up. But you look like you really need it, so, if you give me a ride, I’ll share with you,” she offered.

She perked up and nodded enthusiastically. “Oh my god, yeah, totally,” she took her by the wrist and weaved her through the parking lot until she stopped at a light blue Mini Cooper littered with various stickers – mostly ice skating and pride ones, Crystal noticed. “Lemme just toss this shit in the back,” she said and put her duffel bag in the backseat and got into the front, driving the two of them to Crystal’s apartment.

“My roommate and her band have a gig tonight, so I don’t have to share with her,” Crystal remarked as they got up to her bedroom. She cracked a window and picked a tye-dye patterned lighter up, taking a drag with a content sigh before passing it to Denali.

During her off season, Denali would definitely admit to being a stoner. But during competition season, she would try to cut back as much as possible, even though it was when her stress and anxiety were at their highest. “God, my coach would be making so much fun of me if she knew I was getting high after practice.”

“She wouldn’t be mad?”

“Nah,” she shook her head, taking another hit before passing it back to Crystal. “She says I’m the most dedicated skater she’s ever had but, like, to a fault and that I’m ‘chasing unattainable perfection’ and shit.”

Crystal nodded as she listened and smoked. “Okay, let me guess – your parents hate that you’re gay, so you overcompensate by being this superstar athlete so they’ll overlook the fact that your existence doesn’t live up to their ideal.”

Denali blinked in surprise. “What gave it away?”

“Takes one to know one,” Crystal shrugged, “except instead of sports, I tried to show them that I could make a career with art. Y’know, winning competitions, getting scholarships. But you never stop being the weird, gay, stoner artist. That’s why you gotta start living for yourself. Do you even like skating?”

“What? Yeah, I’ve loved it since I was four. But… I guess you have a point, making myself crazy has made everything a lot less fun. Sometimes I forget there’s more to skating than just collecting medals.”

Crystal beamed proudly. “Oh, I love a good weed-velation,” she hummed, then clarified with, “a revelation you get when you’re high. It’s so much more satisfying. Like sex! High sex is amazing.”

Denali tilted her head. “Are you propositioning me?” She wasn’t going to act like she hadn’t thought about it, but even as bold as she was with girls, she was taken back by the comment.

“No! I mean, unless you’re interested. In which case, please don’t be bothered by the fact that I haven’t changed my sheets in, like, two weeks.”

“First of all, gross,” she crinkled her nose, then shrugged it off. “Not a dealbreaker, though. I’ve had sex in far more questionable locations. Don’t ask.” She took another hit from the joint and motioned Crystal closer, waiting until she was close enough to pull her into a kiss and exhaling the smoke into her mouth.

Crystal felt breathless and pleasantly lightheaded when the kiss ended, a smile spreading ear to ear. “Fuck, I should’ve said something to you a lot sooner.”