#last year was so rough i had no fucking money lol

[evildeerboy]

bruh my cat is not feeling well. aaughh. taking her to the vet tomorrow but thats a hard 24 hours knowing my baby isnt doing ok😭

[allurilove]

Camp Counselor x you

Rated 18 + — mature short content !

Includes: yandere best friend x fem reader, you guys are both camp counselors, bimbo reader, protective and obsessed behavior, mentions of blowjobs, fingering, manipulation, sort of fwb, he's whipped for you.

*Finally a yandere with a name! He goes by "Pres" or "your best friend." I should be working on other stuff soon, but I can't focus for some reason. LOL! Maybe yandere husband part four next, or the superhero. This is purely fictional writing!*

Synopsis: Your best friend convinces you to go to this remote camp deep into the woods with him. He marketed it as a fun paid getaway, but he was ready to taint your innocence.

You’re the exact person he would go for, and the one he’s been wanting to fuck. He wouldn’t dare to toss you aside like all the other women he’s been with. No, he wants you forever. You're his.

Being a camp counselor with your friend was hard. He had the hots for you, and that was pretty clear. Your best friend was named after the late famous singer Elvis Presley. His parents went absolutely crazy for the rock and roll musician, so much so that they named their son “Presley.” But he went by “Pres,” wanting nothing to do with the man he doesn’t even like.

Pres was a hot-headed and flirtatious nineteen-year-old who was only nice to you. He was a bit troubled and rough around the edges, smoking pot and drinking beer whenever he could. He got into a lot of fights, and most of them were because of you.

You were sweet, bubbly, and innocent. You had a tight, round ass that drove him wild, your hair always blowing in the wind, and your mini clothes accentuated your body perfectly. He bought you anything you wanted and did whatever you asked. Despite his tough exterior, he was a mushy, gushy guy on the inside.

He was your closest childhood friend, always coming to your house for years without a single break. Pres told you about the job, shoving the flyer in your face, and he raved about the opportunity. Money, sleeping in cabins, and taking care of kids—it all seemed pretty easy. It also meant he could have you all to himself for three whole months!

The day before the kids arrived for the summer, the counselors had one last meeting. You were able to check out the cabins, rest up for the night, and be well-rested for the morning. That was until your friend snuck out of his cabin and came to yours.

He tiptoed quietly, clinging to the shadows as he looked around to see if his supervisors were nearby. Slowly, he inched closer to your window. Your friend had told you to keep it unlocked, so he hoped you had listened. He let out a small grunt as he used his biceps to lift the window, which slid up smoothly.

“Oh would you look at that?” He muses, pushing his body though. He eyed you up and down, noticing how you were already in your pink silk nightgown. “Now that’s the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen.”

All of the boring and long hikes to see a couple of mountains meant nothing in comparison to this. Seeing you in your room with lit candles all around, your legs apart, and your supple breasts covered by thin fabric was captivating. His feet found footing on your carpet as he approached closer to your sleeping form. That night, he slept right by your side, not wanting to leave you for a single moment.

You both teetered on the line between just being friends and being lovers. He would try to convince you to make out with him. You were just his type: ditzy, pretty, and downright adorable. He could show you a good time if you let him. His hands would rest on your hips, lovingly rubbing your sides up and down, occasionally slipping lower to your ass.

Presley convinced the kids assigned to you to hang out with his group, all so he could pull you into the woods and put on a cute display. He showered you with little kisses on your neck, his deep, rumbling voice cooing swoon-worthy words, and his brown eyes held so much warmth and affection. It was enough to convince you to get down onto your knees, his cock already pulled out of his tan shorts.

You’re a hot babe. Even hotter with your lips around the head of his cock. It must've been your first time, or you were just struggling with his length. Pres guided your head up and down, and with a loud grunt he came inside your mouth. He would tell you that you did amazing, help you wipe your mouth clean, and he’ll return the favor.

He doesn't understand what personal space even means. Your bed was his, and his was always open for you and only you. Once he got his rowdy kids to settle down in their bunk beds, was the moment he had you trapped outside, his fingers soaking in your cunt. He had his hand around your mouth, his knee pushing your legs apart, and his fingers kept pressing against the spot that had your head spinning.

No matter what he does, you still think you guys are just friends. Even if that word does irk him, he'll use it to his advantage. Showering with him was something friends do, so you can’t really say no. Him helping you clean every crevice of your body was just him being nice. Him choosing specific outfits that he wants to see you in was only because he was a 'fashionista.' He barely gave you any time to argue back when he stuffed your body into the swimsuit in the dead of night.

Pres tried his hardest to woo you. On lake day, he would pull off his shirt, muscles on display, and jump into the water. When he came up to the surface, his hair glistening in the light and his body dripping wet, he would try to catch a fish—doing manly things to show off. If that didn’t work, he would walk inside with you to the grand hall, where he’d make friendship bracelets with you. You were happy to do simple things like that, and he’d even make flower crowns with you.

The yandere was a competitive and athletic man. He would win at all of the games—tug-of-war, rock climbing, and don’t even mention any sort of crossword puzzle near him. All of his winnings would go to you. The chocolate gold coins from See's Candies were yours, the tiny trophy he got for catching the most fish was in your hands before you could blink, and the whittled statue of a moose from capturing the prettiest pictures was promptly put into your bag.

He had his softer moments: carrying your suitcases for you and putting them into the shuttle when camp ended, wrapping his jacket around you when you shivered, and letting you have the window seat because you liked to sightsee. He would remember your favorite snacks (he forced himself to like the same things) and offer his arm to be used as your pillow during the drive.

Right when he thought the relationship had progressed into something more, with your head resting on his shoulder, you said the words he didn’t want to hear: "You're the greatest best friend I have ever had."

Ah, shit. Seriously?

“Mhm, yeah, yeah,” he said unenthusiastically with a slight eye roll, and he gently patted your head. “Just go to sleep.”

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)

✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.

✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.

✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.

 

 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 

 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 

 I don’t do favorites. 

 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 

 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 

 My favorite customer. 

 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 

 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 

 I fucked Y/N once. 

 Then, twice. 

 Then, again.

 And again.

 And again…

 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.

 No. 

 It is. 

 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 

 The perfect fuck to end my day. 

 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 

 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 

 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 

 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 

 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 

 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 

 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 

 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 

 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 

 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”

 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”

 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 

 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 

 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”

 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.

 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”

 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”

 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 

 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.” 

 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 

 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 

 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 

 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.

 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 

 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 

 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 

 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 

 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 

 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 

 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 

 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 

 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.

 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 

 No hesitation. I-

 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 

 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.

 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 

 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 

 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”

 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 

 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 

 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 

 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”

 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 

 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 

 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 

 My name drips perfectly from her lips.

 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 

 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.

 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”

 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”

 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.

 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”

 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 

 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”

 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 

 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”

 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 

 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 

 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 

 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.

 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 

 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”

 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”

 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”

 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 

 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 

 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 

 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 

 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 

 My favorite customer. 

© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Most Wanted (Mafia Boss!Toji x Spy!Self-Insert!Reader 18+ One Shot) [COMMISSION FILL]

"I’m gonna make sure you remember tonight and what happens when you fuck with a guy like me."

*IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK CONTAINS R*PE & NONCON SEXUAL ACTS. PLEASE MIND THE TAGS AND READ LIGHTLY.

Pairing: Toji Fushigiro x Self-Insert!Reader (Enemies to Lovers)

Synopsis: You’re a highly skilled hitwoman. You’ve been doing this for years–getting paid to take hits on the wealthy and corrupt at your agency’s order. You figure taking a hit on the renowned Tokyo mafia boss Toji Fushigiro won’t be any different. However, things take a terrifying turn for you, and your skills are put to the test when you go undercover as a dancer at his favorite club and give him a private dance. But instead of killing you, Toji takes it upon himself to punish you and show you what happens when you fuck with him.

Warnings: Smutty Smut, 18+; Porn with Plot; Physical Fighting; Gun Play; Knife Play; Noncon/R*pe; Forced Deepthroat; Mutual Oral; Forced Orgasm; Lap Dancing/Pole Dancing; Doggystyle; Spit Play; Degradation + Praise; Rough Sex; Choking; Hair Pulling; Unprotected PIV Sex; Creampie; Some Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: Here you go lovely!! @curiouscutie143 I hope you & everyone other toji lovers enjoy this. I had so much fun writing this & I tried to make it as nasty as I could lol. I may write another mafia!toji thing in the future just cuz this shit was soooo fun. Enjoy! -Jazz

*********

“Peaches, you’re needed in the backrooms.” 

You resist the urge to smile as you turn around from your seat at the bar, sipping on some water after your dance and sweet-talking a middle-aged bank broker into his pockets. It’s important to keep up the facade.

“Comin’,” you tell your coworker and turn to the broker who looks ready to dive into your cleavage. 

“Sorry, but I’ve gotta run,” you sigh, acting apologetic. He frowns at you, making the wrinkles and lines in his face more evident. “But this shouldn’t take too long. Find me afterward?”

The broker puts his hand on yours, accidentally using the hand his gold marriage band sits on. “You’ve got it, baby,” he purrs. “I’ve got some dollars just waitin’ on ya.” 

He gives you a wink before polishing off his whiskey and walking away from the bar, leaving you to breathe and collect your thoughts. You turn to the bottle girl, waving her down. “One shot of Patron, please!” you yell above the music blaring from the overhead speakers. She nods, scurrying to fetch you a much-needed shot. It will be the first alcoholic drink you’ve had since your shift started. 

You suddenly hear a buzz from your right ear and instantly put your hand up against it under your hair. “V,” a gruff voice says into your earpiece. “Come in, V. It’s been 20 minutes since we last talked. Did you get him yet?” 

You scan the upscale strip club pulsing with purple and red strobe lights and booming with activity: businessmen and regular-degular customers tossing money at the dancers on stage who spin around poles and do splits in their thongs and heels.

“Target was sighted five minutes earlier, sir,” you whisper into the earpiece given to you by your agency. “He is currently in the backrooms waiting for me. He came alone. He made eye contact with me ten minutes ago, so he may be asking for me.” 

More like you made eye contact with him and had been since he walked in. He is impossible to miss with how tall and buff he is. His black V-neck tee stuck to his pectorals and abs while his jeans hung low on his hips.

You had expected he’d be flashier with his wealth by wearing obvious designer clothing, but you figured that he had to keep a low profile as well. Beneath the V-neck that hung from his neck, you could see the tattoos that roped over his chest just like his arms. The healed scar at the corner of his smirk as his green eyes scanned the place over told you that this was, indeed, your target. 

He stood between two bodyguards in suits half his size, giving off an intimidating aura, especially with the guns at their hips. But you’d expect nothing less from Toji Fushigiro, Tokyo’s most notorious mafia boss. 

He is powerful. He is wealthy. He is known throughout Tokyo and Japan for being the head of Tokyo’s infamous mafia gang, the spot being passed down by his father. He is also a criminal. White-collar crime, organized crime, drug trafficking––you name it, Toji does it. 

He is also known for his scare tactics on those who owe him a debt. He’s held man over bridges, threatening to drop them in the murky waters below. He’s pistol-whipped. He’s choked. He’s stomped. He’s jumped guys in alleyways and left them for dead. He is a man of his word. If he tells you he’ll fuck you up if you don’t give him his money in a certain amount of time, he’ll do it. 

He is the number one man current on your hitlist…and your agency’s. They knew it was a good idea to employ you, their top hitwoman, to Toji’s favorite club to take him out for good. Though he didn’t show up when you started at the club a couple of weeks ago, you knew it was only a matter of time until he showed up. 

And now, he is. As soon as he was in the club, everyone’s eyes were on him. Dancers scurried to the pole and backstage to change into their best outfits to milk him out of his pockets. Bartenders and bottle girls quickly wiped down counters and took care of customers as quickly as possible so they could tend to him. Your manager barreled toward him with complimentary champagne and a spot in the VIP section. 

As Toji walked with your manager, your eyes met across the room. They met again while he sat in the VIP section when he should’ve been watching a dancer twirl around the pole in front of him. Both times were fleeting, but they affected you completely. His green eyes, like mirrors to a forest, sent chills down your spine and made your stomach flip. His gaze was intense. Intimate. His eyes made it hard to relax or act like a normal dancer working her shift at the club. 

He seemed to know what he was doing to you or he was sizing you up because he would simply smirk and sip on his whiskey on the rocks and puff on his cigar, his soft lips forming Os and blowing the smoke into the strobe-lit air. You can understand why so many women fell for him, but you aren’t one of them. The tiny gun strapped to your hip proves it. 

Your real boss sighs in relief. “Excellent work,” he praises. “Unfortunately, we can’t see what you’re doing from over at headquarters and we’re still working on connecting the audio to hear what’s happening around you, so just fill us in on what you do next until then. All you have to do now is walk back there and complete the mission as we discussed.” 

You toss an arm over the bar, stretching your coffin-shaped nails along the polished bar. “Of course,” you reply with a smirk. “Don’t I always?”

The bartender returns with your shot and you down it at once, relishing the burn and the way it loosened you right up. “I’ll keep you informed,” you say. “Just stay near the phone.” 

“Be careful,” your boss says before the line cuts. You check your makeup in the bar before you get up from the bar and strut over to your beautiful, blonde coworker in her red lingerie and heels. “Hey, Yuki,” you greet her. 

She smiles at you and guides you to the backrooms where the wealthier customers usually take the girls to get a dance…or something more. Sexual exchanges aren’t allowed, but the manager never complains if they bring in more money. You and Yuki peer down the hallway to the double doors of a private room where Toji’s bodyguards stand. 

“Why the guards?” you ask, pretending to be confused. “Is the President here or somethin’?” Yuki turns you to face her, her eyes wide. “Even bigger,” she replies. “He’s the hot guy with the scar who comes in here often. He’s a mafia boss, apparently. Super hot, but very powerful. The bossman gave him his pick of any girl he wanted and he picked you.” 

You do your best to hide your smirk. You knew you had him. “Me?” you ask breathlessly. “Why me?” Yuki shrugs, just as clueless. “Don’t know, but I was sent out to fetch you. He’s willin’ to pay double the amount of a regular lapdance, but he didn’t say if he wanted it topless, naked or not.” She gives you a worried look, furrowing her blonde brows. “You sure you up for it, hon?” she asks. “I know you’ve taken high rollers before, but he ain’t even a high roller! He’s beyond that!” 

To sell it even more, you bite your lip, acting nervous but intrigued. “I can do it,” you reply. “Just hold my hand when you walk me in there.” Yuki obliges and squeezes your hand as you begin to walk toward the guards, heels clicking across the floor. 

“Target is in sight,” you whisper into your earpiece, turning away from Yuki and putting your mouth in your arm to muffle your voice. “I’m walkin’ to the backrooms now where he’s located.” 

“Excellent, V!” your boss says. “Just do it as we discussed. Don’t falter, don’t yield, and don’t lose focus.” The three rules of being a spy. You never forgot them. Finally, you come to the guards and Yuki smiles up at them. “I’m here with Peaches,” Yuki announces. “The girl Mr. Fushigiro asked for.” 

You plaster a bright, charming smile on your face. It must work because the guards budge and step out of the way for you. One of them opens the door for you and Yuki, holding it. “Step in,” he orders. You thank him and scurry inside the dimly lit room with an included mini-bar, a single stripper pole, and leather lounging couches. Toji currently sits in one of them, legs spread and eyes hooded as he puffs on a blunt and sips on his drink. 

His green eyes pierce into your very soul when he eyes you in the doorway. “Here she is, sir,” Yuki says. “Just as you requested. And she’s just as pretty as I told you she is.” She moves your hair out of your face, exposing your pretty false flashes, Fenty Beauty gloss, and accentuated features to the boss. 

Toji hums, liking what he sees. “Yes, she is,” he agrees. “Tell your boss thanks. He can expect some good business out of me once the night is through.” Yuki nods and gives your arm a squeeze. “Good luck,” she whispers before heading off. The doors close and you are left alone with your hit. 

Neither one of you moves toward the other, staying posted to your spots. Toji takes a puff on his blunt and lights taps it above the ashtray next to him. “Y’know, you’re mighty pretty up close,” he purrs. “I’ve been wonderin’ what you’d look like up close instead of across the room.” 

You finally look at him, noticing how big he is even sitting down. “So you’ve been watchin’ me tonight?” you ask. He nods, his eyes trailing down your form. “I knew I hadn’t seen ya before,” he continues. “I come here often and I would’ve remembered seein’ a face and a rack like that.” 

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Charmer, aren’t you?” you sarcastically question. 

He smirks at your wittiness. He likes that bite in a woman. “When I wanna be, but you’ll have to forgive me; the liquor makes me bolder than I already am.” His tongue jets out to lick his lips. “But you’ve gotta give a guy credit for bein’ honest and that lil’ outfit don’t leave much to the imagination.” 

You go to wrap your arms around yourself but then stop. You need to sell this and if you’re forced to stand here in a mini dress that barely covers your ass or titties with heels that could crush a bitch in front of your hit who also happens with me enticingly sexy, then so be it. Toji’s gaze softens somewhat, noticing your discomfort. “You are very beautiful, Peaches,” he genuinely says. “Is it okay if I use your name?” 

“Thank you, Mr. Fushigiro,” you softly reply. “And no, it’s fine. It’s what I’m known as around here anyway. I started here five weeks ago.” He nods, sipping on his whiskey. “Call me Toji.” 

“Toji,” you parrot, slowly striding towards the pole in the middle of the room, an overhead speaker playing soft R&B overhead. “You’re quite the man. The entire club seems to be in a frenzy over you.” 

His smirk widens, proud and cocky. “They always are,” he chuckles. “Don’t know why. This place gets plenty of people bigger than me all the time, especially international celebs. I heard Drake was here not too long ago.” You give a dry “mm-hmm” as you grasp the pole. Toji takes that answer another way. “What, you don’t like Drake?” he snorts. 

“He’s okay,” you reply, short and impatient. “So what are you here for? To talk or to watch me dance?” You wrap a hand around the pole and pop your hip out, waiting for him to give you an order. 

“Depends.” He sits up, leaning forward to get a better look at you. “What are you willin’ to do tonight for me? ‘Cause we can just sit here and talk. I wouldn’t mind hearin’ that pretty voice all night.” His green eyes gleam with mirth and a small hint of lust.

“Definitely a charmer,” you chuckle. “That’s fine if you’re willin’ to pay, though we don’t have a rate for conversation.” 

He laughs at this, the sound deep and raspy yet pleasant to the ear. He takes another puff on his blunt before he lowers it down onto the ashtray. “Then let’s cut to the chase,” he sniggers. “It’s $500 for a 10-minute dance, right? I want 20 minutes, so that would make…”

He begins to count on his fingers but then stops. “A lot,” he chuckles. “I’ll probably ask for you to strip though. Are you okay with that, Peaches?” 

You feel something flip inside of you at the mention of all of that money and how passive he is about it. Any girl working here would do whatever he wanted for 20 minutes! “I’m a stripper,” you reply passively. “What else am I gonna do?” 

Toji tsks, grimacing at you. “Damn, what kinda attitude is that?” he laughs. “A beauty like you should be more adamant about showin’ off her body. Can I offer you a drink to get you in the mood?” He nods at the mini bar overflowing with bottles of tequila, vodka, and liquor.

“I don’t drink on the job,” you reply. “Music helps.” You suddenly hear a buzz in your ear and then your boss’ gruff voice: “Give me the rundown, V,” he demands. 

You want another drink?” you ask. You nod at Toji’s empty glass and he agrees, so you walk over to the bar. To him, you’re seemingly looking for a bottle of whiskey, bent down to look through the racks. “With the target now,” you whisper. “Just waiting for the right time to attack. Give me a second.” 

Once the line goes dead, you walk back over to Toji and pour him a bottle. As you bend down, you give him an ample view of your titties much to his enjoyment. As you do, you slip the gun out of your dress and place it under the couch where only you can find it. Once done, you leave the bottle with him, and step back, hands on your hips. He sits back against the couch, preparing for the show. “Whenever you’re ready, darlin’,” he purrs, his eyes filled with obvious lust and attraction. 

With a slow song playing above and the lights dipping into an almost ominous red shade, you begin to move to the beat. You roll your hips, swaying them side to side and front to back, almost as if you’re grinding on Toji despite him being several feet away from you. You let the music take control of you as you grasp the pole and begin to grind against it, dipping low to wind your ass in his face. 

You do a few tricks on the pole for him–jumping and spinning around it, your thighs wrapped tight around the metal pole; squatting and lifting up your dress to bounce your ass, etc.–before you turn to look at him over your shoulder, flipping your hair. Toji’s eyes are hooded and lustful, all from the weed, the whiskey, and the effect you’re having on him. Despite the situation, it feels good to have an attractive man ogle at your plump frame. 

“Take off the dress,” he demands, a slight growl in his voice. You don’t turn to face him, instead still facing the wall as you carefully unzip the back of your dress. The thin piece of clothing falls off of your body, revealing all of your rolls, curves, and the matching glittery bra and thong set. 

“Shit!” Toji hisses, ogling at your asscheeks in your glittery thong. “Your back don’t hurt carryin’ that around?” 

You finally turn around and find him leaning forward, his hands clenching his thighs. “You don’t look like you’re ready,” you giggle, winding your hips and toying with your titties in their cups. “Did you talk too much big game, Toji?”

The boss looks like he can’t even speak, his scarred lips parted as he stares you down. “Goddamn,” he hisses. “How some horny fuck didn’t propose to you and steal you out of here yet is beyond me.” 

You give a light, tittering laugh, smiling down at him. “Well, if someone did that, I wouldn’t be here with you.” He looks happy with that response. You then twist around and bend over for him, giving him a full view of your full, round, perfect ass. “Can you handle it, baby?” you purr. “Can you handle me?” 

You quickly pop up and turn around, finding him shifting in his seat and gritting his jaw. “I should be askin’ you that,” he growls. “Come the fuck here.” Deciding not to tease him any longer, you strut over to him, feeling sexy and irresistible. It’s strange that the same man you were sent to kill is doing this to you. 

His eyes have grown several shades darker, reminding you of the deepest, darkest parts of a jungle. “Dance for me,” he demands. “Not on the pole; on me.” He opens his legs wider for you and pats his lap, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Though clients often get handsy when dancers give them lapdances here, you decide that it’s best to do as he says. 

Plus, you’d be lying if you said that you aren’t curious to feel him for yourself. So you place your hands on his thick, muscular highs and begin to roll your body before squatting down, popping up between his legs. You reach up to drag your palms and long nails down his chest, feeling up his abs and toned stomach. He allows it, staring down at you with a look that would make a nun blush. 

You then stand up between his legs before turning around and lowering yourself down into his lap. “Shit,” he whispers, watching the way you work your ass along his lap and the jean-clad bulge that has begun to make an appearance. You twerk and bounce on top of him before he takes a drag of his blunt, blowing the air away from you. “You ever shotgun before?” he asks, his lips close to your ear now. 

Your body grows hot from him being so close, the attraction ironically magnetic. Slowly, you shake your head and Toji chuckles, adoring your mix of cute and sexy. “C’mere.” You lean back and tilt your head up while he takes another puff of his blunt. He holds the marijuana smoke before puckering his lips up and leaning down as if to kiss you. Slowly, the smoke travels from his lips to yours in an indirect kiss that leaves you breathless and your head dizzy. 

You can’t deny it: you’re wet. Your pussy has never been this wet for any man before…and he’s the enemy! Toji seems to feel it too judging by the hard-on you can feel pressing into your thigh. You shift onto his knee and begin grinding your ass back, doing your best to not grind your pussy against his thigh. 

“So you got a name other than that stripper shit?” he randomly asks you. You are immediately taken out of your lustful haze, remembering why you’re here. “I don’t remember us talkin’ about personal shit,” you dryly reply. “I don’t give my real name out to men I don’t know.” 

Then, for the first time tonight, Toji touches you. His big hand lowers onto your thigh and squeezes. You don’t try to move it but you are alarmed. “Oh, but you do know me, darlin’,” he replies, digging his fingers into your flesh. “And I know you, V.” 

At the mention of your real name, you freeze. The world freezes with you, everything seeming to cease their existence including the music that continues to play overhead. But you don’t hear it. All you can hear is your own blood pumping loudly in your eardrums. Toji releases you and you quickly jump off of him, turning toward him. 

He just sits there staring at you, a humorous smirk playing on his lips. The smile is no longer attractive to you anymore. Suddenly, you feel disoriented. You feel like you may vomit or drop to the floor in your heels. Your earpiece buzzes to life again in your ear. “V!” your boss calls. “We just got the audio working again. What’s happening?” He sounds panicked, just as much as you are. 

Toji bares his pearly whites at you as he calmly reaches for his whiskey. “Ah, now them wheels are turnin’ in that pretty little head,” he chuckles. “You know, you dance almost as good as you lie. I can see why you were put here to go undercover.” He takes a sip and licks the remnants away from his top lip, still staring you down. 

“Ain’t that right?” he asks and it feels like a snake has just silvered up your back and sunk its teeth in you, paralyzing you. 

“Y/N, he knows!” your boss hisses. “Stand down! Don’t do anything stupid!” He continues to yell and scream at you about aborting the mission and telling you that someone will be there soon, but you can’t quite hear him. It’s like you’re underwater and he’s standing above ground, his voice muffled and murky. 

For a few seconds that seem like a lifetime, you and Toji stare each other down, waiting for the other to make the first move. Your body kicks into fight or flight, the freeze stage having already been awakened. Inisctively, you shift into fight mode. Quickly, you take the bottle of whiskey and bring it down towards Toji’s head, but he catches your wrist like it’s nothing. 

You grunt, wincing at the pain of his grip. “Oh, you wanna play, huh?” he cackles. “Goin’ against your boss’ little rules just to take me out? How cute.”

With a wail of effort, you swing your other hand at his head but he catches that too. Counting on this, you bring your leg up and kick him hard in the groin. He immediately releases you and lurches forward, holding his junk, giving you a chance to grab your gun from under the couch.

“Don’t move,” you growl, cocking the gun at him. “You move and I’ll shoot.” 

Toji, red in the face and panting, glares up at you. “Please,” he scoffs. “You act like you’re the first bitch that’s put a gun to my head.” Before you can blink, he is swinging the bottle at you. You duck which is a mistake because Toji uses that opening to tackle you to the ground. You struggle and growl, turning into an animal as he wrestles with you for your gun. 

He ends up winning, flipping you over and pinning you down to the floor with his body. “Get off!” you scream, still wriggling around. “Get off me!” Click. The barrel of your gun presses to your temple. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll make you regret it,” he growls. 

His fingers move your hair back away from your ear and pry the earpiece out of your ear. He snarls at it as if it’s nothing but a bug. “God, they made these things so much smaller now.” He stands up, keeping the gun on you, and stomps on the earpiece, breaking it. “Whoops!” he mockingly says. “They should still be able to find ya though. I don’t plan on movin’ ya to another location…if you don’t piss me off.” 

The gun clicks again. “Turn around slowly,” he demands. Despite your reluctance to do so, you slowly turn around and face him, lying on your back with your own shit pointed at you as Toji stands above you. “How did you know?” you whisper. 

He smirks, appearing like the Devil in your eyes. “It wasn’t hard, darlin’,” he chuckles. “Dancers don’t eye me up the way you were. You looked like you were out for blood, not dollars. Not to mention the gun I saw at your hip.” You flush, cursing yourself. You should’ve been smarter. Of course, he would know. He spends his days having people hunt him down. 

His smirk fades, his expression darkening. “Who sent you?” he demands. “And don’t lie. You don’t wanna know what I do with liars.” The gun cocks, his finger trained on the trigger. You glare at him, hating his guts even more than you had before you met him. So you weakly confess. He guffaws, shaking his head in disbelief. “Damn, those guys? They’ve been after me for years!” 

“You’re a criminal,” you hiss despite the gun in your face. “You only got this far because of you dippin’ your hands in crime and gettin’ blood on your fists. I’m here to stop you.”

Toji’s brows raise in shock though he’s intrigued by your stubbornness. He squats down in front of you, still pointing the gun at your head. “And how are you gonna do that, huh, little girl?” he asks. 

Not even thinking, you hollow your lips and wallop a glob of spit in Toji’s handsome face before quickly turning over and scrambling to the door. However, Toji is just as fast and has his big, tatted arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight. You can’t elbow him anywhere because your arms are stuck in his, leaving you to kick and wriggle.

“Oooh, I love a feisty bitch,” he chuckles. “Makes it a lot more fun to break ‘em.” 

He begins to walk with you over to a nearby wall and slams you against it, knocking the air out of your lungs. You find yourself pressed against the wall and him who is equally as hard and unmoving as the solid wall against your front.

He shoves the side of your face into the wall while he pins your arms behind your back, causing your muscles to explode with pain at being stretched back too far. “Get off!” you cry. “O-Ow, that hurts!” 

Toji tugs on your arms again, emitting a weak whine of pain from you. “That’s what you get for fuckin’ with me,” he growls. “Now what should I do with you? Kill you? Leave your agency to find you here?” The gun once again presses against your temple, cold and unrelenting. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, tears pushing back the ducks. You can’t beat this. You can’t fight this. “Do it,” you sob. “Just do it!” You go limp against him, waiting to feel that bullet penetrating your skull and for the void to come to collect you…but instead, Toji takes the gun away from you, leaving an indent on your temple. “No,” he says. “I’ve got a better idea.” 

You open your eyes, confused but also scared. What else is he planning to do with you? Before you can answer, you hear the undeniable sounds of his zipper coming down and the clinking of his metal belt buckle. Your body instant seizes, fear flooding your insides.

“I’m gonna make sure you remember tonight and what happens when you fuck with a guy like me. Tonight, babydoll, you’re mine. You don’t have a choice. You’re mine and I’m gonna show you what that means.” 

With his belt finally in his hands, he trains the gun on you. “Put your hands against the wall and stick that ass out,” he demands, his voice void of all emotion. “Do it now.” Outnumbered and out of tricks, you do as he says, trembling as you do so. 

“Bad girls like you need to be punished,” he says before the belt comes down hard onto your right asscheek. WHACK! The sharp sound of the leather hitting the soft, jiggly flesh of your ass penetrates the air. It feels like fire has licked your skin and your knees buckle at the pain. “Ow!” you cry out. 

Toji cackles at your agony, finding enjoyment and cuteness in it. “What, that hurt?” he laughs. “You don’t like the pain? I’m sure a girl like you has taken plenty of worse things before.” He raises his arm and whips the same cheek twice.

WHACK! WHACK! You flinch at each sharp hit, each one becoming more painful than the last. “Hurts, don’t it?” he snickers. “Don’t you regret pullin’ that shit with me now, babydoll, hm?” 

He then proceeds to whip your left cheek, not allowing you any time to recover or breathe. 

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! You bite your lip so hard that you nearly draw blood, the burning of your backside too much to bear. “S-Stop!” you whine. “Please stop!” 

Toji’s big hands wrap around your mouth, covering it. “Don’t speak,” he whispers into your ear, his breath the scent of whiskey and mint. “You don’t get to speak. Just take it.” You have no choice but to do so as he wails on your ass again and again, the leather cracking like fire against your jiggly ass. “God, that recoil,” he groans. “I’m gonna enjoy my time with you, baby doll.” 

You don’t answer, too busy holding back tears that have begun to push at your eye sockets. Toji finally stops and tosses his head back to laugh. “Are you cryin’?” he laughs in disbelief. “Damn, and all from some spankings? And here I thought you were this tough bitch.” 

You burn with resentment and humiliation, but all of that is pushed aside when he forces you to stand up straight and tugs your arms behind your back. You begin to panic but don’t say anything as he tightens his belt around your wrists and locks the belt buckle around them. “Turn around,” he finally says. 

Despite your tiny sobs, you do so and face him. His eyes are hooded and dark with obvious lust for you. He uses one big hand to force you onto your knees, right in front of his open fly and hard cock that you can see pressing against his designer briefs. “I’ll give you somethin’ to cry about,” he growls. He points the gun at your face, specifically at your lips. “Open your mouth and suck on it.” 

His expression, dark and chilling you to the bone, makes you feel as if you don’t have a choice..and not the loaded gun pressing to your lips. Swallowing hard, you shakily open your mouth and he slides the pistol in. The metal feels cold and hard in your mouth, making you cringe. “That’s it,” Toji chuckles. “Take that shit, baby. C’mon, don’t you wanna please me?” 

Slowly, you begin to suck, hollowing your lips out against the gun. Though you tremble and shake, you squeeze your eyes shut and try to imagine the gun as a hard, warm, throbbing cock instead. Toji moans as if you’re sucking on him, watching your tongue swirl along the barrel and your head bob. 

“Fuck, baby doll,” he groans. “You’ve got such a mouth on ya.” He slides it in further, the metal scraping against your teeth, until he reaches your throat. You gag and try to pull away, but Toji grips the back of your head.

“Uh-uh, mama,” he snickers. “You don’t get to get outta this. C’mon, just open your throat and breathe through your nose. You can do it.” He continues to push and pull, the gun sliding in and out of your mouth, while you struggle to breathe. You can feel sweat pool under your pits and between your cleavage all from your fear. Toji’s finger isn’t on the trigger anymore, but it doesn’t matter. He could change that in a second. 

So you suck and you slurp and you bob your head up and down like a good little slut, staring him into his eyes while spit drips from your lips. Finally satisfied, Toji pulls the gun out of your lips now coated in your saliva. “You fuckin’ slut,” he pants. “Now I need to try ya out for myself.” 

He pockets the gun and, with one hand, pulls down his briefs. His big, long, throbbing, veiny, perfect-looking dick springs to life. It damn near hits you in the face, making you gasp. “Sorry, mama,” he chuckles. “He just likes you.”

He wraps a hand around his 12-inch dick, pumping it lewdly in your face. “So you finna stare at it or suck it?” he deadpans, but he doesn’t wait for you to answer or recover. 

“W-Wait,” you stammer.

That’s all you get to say before his cock is pushing between your lips and into your mouth. He releases a moan when he first slides into your mouth, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your wet mouth, soft lips, and tongue wrapping around him. Meanwhile, you’re struggling to take him. His girthy dick stretches out your jaw and your throat as he pushes himself in deep. 

“C’mon, babydoll,” he chuckles. “That can’t be all you can take of me.” He continues to push, filling your tongue and nostrils with the scent and taste of him. The walls of your throat have no choice but to accommodate his size though it burns and you gag as he begins to slowly yet roughly thrust into your mouth. “Maybe this will help ya out,” he says. Suddenly, he retrieves a pocket knife from his pocket and flicks it open. 

Fear flares into your stomach, making you want to jump away, but his large hand keeps you locked down on his cock. He presses the knife to your throat, chuckling as he does. “Careful now,” he warns. “You lean too close and that pretty neck might get sliced. I just wanna encourage you to do a good job.” He grips your hair and wrenches it up to look at him. “And you will do a good job for me, won’t you?” he asks. 

His tone makes it so you can’t refuse, so you say yes and allow him to force your head back down onto his cock before pulling it back. He does that for a while––pushing and pulling your head down onto his dick like you’re his toy while he uses your sloppy, wet mouth like it’s a fleshlight. “Fuck!” he shouts to the ceiling. “This fuckin’ mouth is heaven, baby. I hope your pussy is just as tight as your tight ass throat.” 

You gargle and mumble on his cock, causing pleasurable vibrations to travel throughout his body and his heavy balls that drip with your saliva. He continues to fuck your face and ruin your makeup, marveling at how beautiful you look choking on his cock. “Look at you, you little slut,” he dreamily sighs. “Makeup all fucked up. Hair ruined. You’re just a little mess for me, aren’t ya?” 

He slides his cock out of your throat and you take a grateful gulp of air, strands of your hair stuck to your wet lips and chin. He takes the knife and slides it along your chin, smirking down at you. “Now it’s my turn to taste you,” he murmurs. Before you can protest, he is picking you up, tossing you over his shoulder, and placing you on your stomach with your arms still tied behind you. 

“Please!” you sob, beginning to cry again. Toji straddles your ass, one hand massaging the globes of fat in your thong while the other holds his knife. “Please what, baby?” he mockingly coos. “I ain’t even touch you yet.” You then feel the cool metal of the knife dragging up your spine, sending shivers down your spine. “Time to get your sexy ass out of these fuckin’ clothes,” he growls. 

You flinch when you feel the knife drag up to your left shoulder where it cuts the bra strap. He does the same to your left one before positioning you onto your knees with your wrists slung over the couch arm. Your tits are now exposed, hanging like ripe, juicy fruit beneath you. Then off comes your thong with two swipes of the knife cutting through the thin straps. You sob helplessly as the cool air touches your sodden, wet pussy. 

“Damn, baby!” Toji cackles. “Are you wet from all this? You naughty little girl.” His middle and forefingers gently probe your entrance and slide up and down your slit, dragging unwanted moans out of you. “I’m gonna have some fun with you,” he chuckles. “Make sure you never forget about me.” 

He then bends you over the couch and proceeds to put his hot, wet, experienced mouth on your pussy while the knife stays pressed against your thigh. You whine at the feeling of his soft lips and tongue swirling along your clit and every sensitive part of you, opening your pussy up to more of him. He drowns in your pussy, pushing his face into it as far as he can and letting his tongue do all of the talking. 

You can’t stop the moans and gasps that escape you. The pleasure is just too much and too good! What a shame that a man who is so good at eating kitty is the same man you were sent here to kill. “Toji,” you moan, using his name for the first time ever. “Please…please!” 

Toji’s one hand massages and smacks your ass, becoming aoslutely obessed with it. “What do you need, babydoll?” he coos against your clit. “You need somethin’?” You nod helplessly though you have no clue what you need at this point. “Tell me you’re mine then,” he growls. “Say it and fuckin’ mean it. Say you’re my good little slut.” 

You keep your lips clamped tight, not wanting to swallow your pride or give up that tiny part of you that hates him still. SPANK! Your ass stings from his assault on your ass, his hand no doubt leaving a handprint. “Say it!” he bellows. 

At the blinding pain, pleasure, and delirium, you break. “I’m yours!” you sob. “I’m your good girl! Your good little slut! I’m everything you want me to be!”

Toji, pleased, presses soothing kisses to your burning asscheek. “Good girl,” he praises. “See how easy that was? Now you get your reward.” Suddenly, you feel his thick cock smack against your pussy once, twice, three times and then he is sliding home inside of you. 

Your mouth goes slack and your eyes grow wide as he begins to rocks his hips into, allowing you to get used to him. He is big. You can feel him stretching out every part of your cunt as he sinks deeper into your velvety, wet walls. “Fuck,” he sighs, one hand clutching your hip. “Not bad, babydoll. Your pussy is definitely the best one I’ve fucked…so far.” 

He begins to fuck you harder, faster, railing you as if this will be his last time doing so. Your moans and huffs of breath become louder and more intense the harder and deeper his cock plunges inside of you. “W-Wait!” you gasp. “Slow down! I can’t…can’t!”

Toji chuckles, watching your ass bounce against his pelvis as he fucks you. “Sorry, honey,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. “I couldn’t help it. You just sound so cute.” 

Your thighs clench and your body writhes as he rails you, unable to take this deep dicking into the couch. You try to move away but the knife suddenly sliding against your throat stops you. “Uh-uh, babydoll,” he growls. “Don’t run from me. I wouldn’t try it if I were you.” He then pops his knee up, his foot up on the couch, and reaches a part inside of you that makes you feel unimaginable pleasure. 

“Just take me like a good girl, okay?” he whispers. “You can do that for me if you wanna live.” You don’t have a choice in the matter, mostly because of the hold he has on your arms, pulling you back as drives himself forward again and again. The sound of your moans, his grunts, and the lewd plap, plap, plap as his balls swing against your overly-sensitive clit and his hips slam into your ass fill the air, drowned out by the music playing outside. 

“Who would’ve thought,” Toji pants into your ear. “C.O.D.E.’s good little spy gettin’ her brains fucked out on a mission, huh? I bet they’d love to see this.” His free hand releases your arms and yanks on a handful of your hair. “I bet they’d love to see you full of me,” he growls. “Full of this dick and my cum.”

He presses the knife deeper into your throat, just enough for you to feel the sharp, jagged edge of the blade. “You wanna cum for me, baby?” he asks. “You gonna be a good slut and take all my cum too?” 

“Please!” you whimper, losing your mind and all of your pride. “Please just make me cum! I’ll do whatever you want, Toji!” He takes the knife from your throat and replaces it with his hand, choking you as he fucks you stupid. “Then do it,” he demands. “Fuckin’ cum on this cock while I fill you up. Cum with me now!” 

“Ah, ah, fuck, I-I’m gonna cum!” you deliriously sob as he continues to pound into you. “I’m gonna…gonna–!”

You don’t get a chance to finish because your pussy has finally reached its limit and explodes all over him, your walls squeezing around him and your clit shuddering. You reaching your peak triggers Toji and he grips your throat and ass as he comes to a still, his entire body tensing. “Fuck!” he bellows, cumming deep, deep, deep inside of you. 

You gasp as you feel a rush of warm liquid flood into your pussy while you gush all over his cock, dripping down his balls. He fills you to the brim, giving you so much that it has no choice but to trickle down your thighs. He doesn’t immediately pull out though––he continues to fuck you, albeit slowly and sloppily, before giving your tit one feeble squeeze and finally pulling out of you. 

You weakly moan at the feeling of being empty yet used, your pussy twitching and aching. “Mmm, now look at that,” he sighs dreamily, staring at your cum-soaked cunt. “Now that’s a properly fucked pussy if I do say so myself.” He takes a handful of your chin, squeezing your cheeks together, and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Not bad, babydoll.” 

You don’t respond, too weak and too tired to do so. You’re too tired to even feel any amount of disgust for him and shame in yourself for failing the mission and enjoying the sex. “Let’s get this off of you,” Toji says, his hands unbuckling the belt from your wrists. “I’m gon’ need it for myself, anyway.” He releases your wrists and lets you lay on the couch, panting and coated in sweat. 

Your makeup and hair are ruined. Your underwear is in tatters. You feel used and fucked-out. You can only stare at Toji as he quickly gets dressed and straightens out his clothes, his cock still covered in you. “I’m sorry, baby, but I’ve gotta go before your people get here.” He gives you an apologetic smile. “But gimme a call since I’m sure you can find that out. Maybe we can do this again.” 

He then moves to the extra bathroom behind the couch and retrieves a robe which he covers you with. “See?” he chuckles. “I ain’t that big of an asshole.” He presses a kiss to your lips before bending down to pick up your thong. “Thanks for this,” he says, dangling it in front of you. “And the dance. I’ll cherish both forever.” 

You don’t say anything, even as you watch him leave, taking your thong and your dignity with you.

Then you are alone. At some point, you find the strength to stand up and wobble to the bathroom where you take a hot shower, washing the scent of sex and cum off of you. When you return, dressed in your robe, the door busts in, and your boss and fellow spies enter the room, guns drawn and masks on their faces. 

“V!” your boss shouts, instantly dropping his weapon and running to you. His eyes widen at your state, looking for any bruises or scars. There are none…that are physical, anyway. “V, what happened?” he asks. 

And as the events of tonight come flooding back to you at full speed, you muster up the most believable lie you can, clutching your robe closed: 

“He overpowered me.” 

[bokutosbiceps]

real deal

kure raian x f!reader | smut + some fluff | 2.2k words

summary: raian comes home from a job to find that you’ve replaced him with a little piece of plastic. he decides to show you why the real deal is always better

warnings: mentions of murder, cursing (it’s rai omg), nsfw under the cut, use of sex toy, cunnilingus, throat fucking, choking/gagging, pussy eating, fingering, rough sex, possessive sex, mating press, dirty talk

a/n: i’m dedicating this to @thebigevilsamp + @missmadness123 because i used to thirst over raian with these two so i figured you guys would appreciate this 🥹 i’m sorry for leaving LOL. oh + also @kenganparadise + @kengan-ass because i enjoyed their writing at the peak of the fandom 💕

18+ MINORS DNI

Raian swung his keys around on his index finger as he strolled back to his car, whistling a tune he’d had stuck in his head throughout his entire job. Erioh had sent him to kill some asshole who had been embezzling money from one of Erioh’s oldest friend’s company, and Raian couldn’t have been less intrigued. 

The job was easy, since the target was just an old dude. A simple squeeze of his hand had snapped the old man’s fragile cervical spine, extinguishing the last bit of life the guy had left in him. Whatever, he was probably going to die within the next 10 years anyways. But however easy the job was, it was equally long. The target rarely ever worked given his old age, and it took forever to get intel on when the old bag would show up to work. Raian was never able to figure out where he lived, either. He didn’t understand how old people could be so elusive.

I’ve just gotta go report back to old man Erioh and then I’ll finally be able to get home. Raian grunted to himself as he weaved in and out of traffic on his way to Kure Village. I wonder how my bitch is doing… Raian’s expression softened as he thought of coming home to you after being away for so long on this job. He would probably never get used to being received with such excitement and love when returning home from a job. Deep down, he loved it. And deep down, he missed you more and more as the days apart from you passed. He appreciated the short but sweet texts you would send him, telling him that you were thinking of him, or that you missed him, sometimes even complete with a cute or sexy photo of you.

Maybe he should do something nice for you. Since he was in a good mood.

Raian sneered as he slammed his car door shut after pulling up to a random supermarket. Dumb bitch, making me get her flowers. Why do women even like flowers? They’re so useless, can’t even eat them or use them as a weapon. Fucking hell. He grumbled to himself as he picked up some flowers, already knowing exactly which kind he would get since he had taken note of what types of flowers you liked to adorn the kitchen table with in the house. He could be observant when he wanted. He threw some cash at the cashier and stalked back to his car, speeding to Kure Village so he could debrief Erioh and be on his merry way to your arms.

“It’s finished, old man.” Raian leaned against the door frame to Erioh’s office, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he watched his grandfather raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m surprised it took you so long. I was starting to wonder if you’d finally pissed someone off enough to get yourself killed.” Erioh cackled at how quickly Raian’s smirk disappeared.

“Kill? Me?” Raian snorted. “You know better, you old bastard, no one can kill me.” Raian straightened once he remembered your flowers were resting in the front seat of his car, likely shriveling up in the sweltering heat of the afternoon. “I’m leaving. If you need anything else, don’t.” Raian turned on his heel and waved to Erioh as he exited his house.

“Raian.” Erioh called out to him and Raian huffed as he turned back around to face his grandfather, glaring at him expectantly. “I’m giving you the next two weeks off. Spend some time with your woman.” Erioh smiled slyly and sat down at his desk. “If I’m going to be appointing you as head of the clan anytime soon, I’ll be wanting to see that you are capable of upholding your bloodline.” Erioh gave Raian a pointed look. “Get busy.”

Raian scoffed as he continued to make his way out of Erioh’s house. Way ahead of you.

It took Raian less than 3 minutes to drive the short distance from Erioh’s house in the depths of Kure Village to his own home somewhere in the upper ring of the village.

He unlocked the front door and entered the silent house with flowers in hand, somewhat disappointed that you weren’t jumping into his arms to greet him like you usually did. It’s what he got for trying to surprise you with his return.

“Y/n?” Raian called out as he walked from the front room to the living room, stopping in the kitchen to set the flowers down on the table next to the vase filled with almost identical flowers. He heard a small buzzing noise coming from down the hall and followed the noise to the bedroom. What he found was a delicious sight.

You were lying on the California king, legs open wide, chest heaving, and lips parted in pleasure as you held something small and colorful and vibrating to your clit.

“Hmm, the fuck is going on here?” Raian’s deep drawl shook you out of your haze of pleasure, causing you to immediately close your legs and sit up in slight fear and embarrassment.

“Rai, I didn’t know you were coming home.” Your voice was breathless, your hair slightly tousled, and your cheeks held a shade of arousal that Raian found so delectable. He approached the bed in one long stride and snatched the vibrator out of your hand before you could even think to hide it. “I missed you.” You said bashfully, watching as Raian inspected the toy that fit in between his large fingers.

“You missed me so you tried to replace me with this thing?” Raian challenged, crushing the vibrator between his fingers and shifting his gaze to you.

“Nothing can replace you, Rai.” You sat up onto your knees to become level with Raian, who was still standing by the bedside, now brushing the remnant of your brand new vibrator onto the floor. You slid your hands underneath his shirt and up his chest. “Fusui just…suggested it to me. She knew I was missing you and you never told me when you’d be back…a girl has her needs, y’know.”

“So did that little fucking toy satisfy your needs?” Raian seized your hands with one of his hands and used his other hand to grip your face. You shook your head in blatant and hurried denial. “Good, I’m glad my bitch knows the difference between a piece of plastic and the real deal.”

Raian wasted no time in pushing you back on the bed and placing his knees on either side of your naked body, dragging his shirt off while you made quick work of his belt and pushed his jeans down to expose the bulge in his boxers.

“You see how hard I am already, bitch? This was your plan all along, hm? For me to come home and see my bitch all laid out on the bed for me, ready to be fucked?” Raian sank his teeth into your shoulder, rutting his hips so that his bulge was rubbing against your pussy. You gasped at the sudden contact and wrapped your legs around his hips obediently, giving him more access. “Good girl.” He growled, moving his hands down to squeeze and knead your ass.

“Rai, fuck—I missed you, so much.” You breathed, bucking your hips against his boxers, getting them soaked in your arousal.

Raian sat back on his heels, eyes raking over your naked body which was trembling with excitement at the evening ahead of you. He looked down at his boxers and frowned. “Dirty girl, huh? Getting my boxers all wet with your pussy juices.” He stood up briefly to take off his boxers, releasing his girthy cock and letting it slap against his lower abdomen. You drooled at the site of his pre-cum leaking out in beads from his tip.

Raian kneeled back on the bed and grabbed a fistful of your hair, coaxing your lips closer to his cock until it was fully shoved down your throat. He warmed his cock in your throat until he noticed tears forming at the corner of your eyes and decided to give a good, strong thrust into your mouth, causing you to gag.

“My bitch is gonna gag on my cock, huh? Did you miss the way it tastes? Are you gonna take all this cum for me?” He bullied you, fucking your throat despite your gagging and choking until he was shooting ropes of cum down into your stomach. He slid out of your mouth and let you catch your breath while pushing you back down on the bed and pressing kisses down your neck, to your breasts, to your navel, before placing a chaste kiss to your clit, making you whine and arch your back.

“Does my girl want me to fuck her cunt with my tongue?” Raian smirked at your whining as you twisted his hair in your fists, trying to push your hip into his face. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you t-to fuck me, Rai.” You breathed. “I missed your cock so much, baby.” Raian clicked his tongue before pushing one, then two, then three fingers inside of you, eliciting a high pitched whine from you that originated from deep in your chest.

“Not yet, bitch.” Raian pumped his fingers in and out of you as he licked a stripe up your clit. “I’ve gotta torture you first.” Raian continued fucking you with his fingers and licking and sucking on your clit until your thighs were trembling and he was sure you were about to cum. Just when you felt like you were about to fall over the edge, Raian abandoned your pussy, making you shiver slightly at the cold air that replaced his touch.

You lifted your heavy head to see Raian kneeling again, stroking his cock and spreading his pre-cum to make sure he could fuck you easily. You eyed his cock hungrily, remembering how just moments ago that thing had been shoved down your throat so far you could barely breathe.

Without any warning, Raian hoisted your legs onto his shoulders and leaned down in between your legs to lick greedily up your neck before capturing your lips in a rough kiss, almost feral, that left you dizzy. Raian’s lips put you into such a trance that the pressure of Raian pushing his cock inside of you made you squeal in surprise, throwing your head and arching your back, making Raian’s angle inside of you even deeper.

“Fuck, babe, how could I resist the feeling of your pussy squeezing my cock like this?” Raian picked up the pace, bottoming out with every thrust. “How much did you miss me?” Raian gripped your chin and forced you to look at him, but your eyes were rolling into the back of your head from the pleasure of Raian’s cock filling you up. “Look at me, bitch, tell me how much you missed me fucking you like this.”

You willed yourself to meet Raian’s feral gaze, which made your walls squeeze around Raian’s cock even tighter as he fucked you into the bed. “I missed you so much—baby, I-I dreamed about you coming home and—f-fucking me just like this.”

“Hm, good answer.” Raian's pace started to become erratic and his hips stuttered. “I think I’m gonna let you cum. Is that what you want?” You managed to moan out a yes as Raian’s thrusts became rougher and he squeezed your hips with his fingers, hard enough to leave bruises. He growled as he neared his release and the sound was the final straw to bring on your climax. Raian was not far behind you and he released into you as he bit your bottom lip before smoothing it over with his tongue.

Once he was sure he had emptied the last drop of his cum into your cunt, he slipped out of you and threw himself down onto the bed next to you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest. He let you catch your breath before continuing his bullying.

“So me or the toy?” He asked through a smirk. You huffed.

“Rai, shut up. I was just desperate, you were gone for a long time.” You said the last part quietly.

Raian felt a twinge of guilt poke him in the chest. He frowned and ran his hands down your back, squeezing your ass. “Sorry.” He mumbled. Two weeks didn’t seem like that long when he was focused on a job, but he had never thought of how long it must’ve seemed to you when you had to deal with his family every day.

“It’s fine.” You stifled a yawn and curled yourself further into Raian’s chest. “Just as long as you come back to me every time.”

The corner of Raian’s mouth turned upward into what could have been regarded as a smile, had you seen it. He just grunted in agreement. Nothing could keep me away.

[lunexrin]

𝑩𝑳𝑼𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑪𝑲 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑺.

(𝐹𝐸𝑀! 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐷𝐸𝑅)

𝑴𝑰𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑬𝑳 𝑲𝑨𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑹 as your partner.

disclaimer: this was a lot harder than it looks (to write about this egoistic monster lol.) i haven't read the manga at all, but based on what i've seen, i think this is how he'll be as a s/o. sorry if this isn't accurate!

a little suggestive towards the end. (i will put a mdni divider, and that's where the suggestive part starts. you can stop reading if you feel uncomfortable!)

There were only two of how he could be; either leave you in a crying mess every time you caught him in another's bed or he would just be downright worship you. But in this case, it was the latter, fortunately.

Michael rolls around the bed, his hands desperately trying to find his beloved's perfect waist. He reaches it, and pulls himself closer to her. "Mein liebling.." he whines, burying his face into her stomach. "I know that you are mad but.. you won't leave, won't you? "

Michael kissed you, a rough, possessive kiss. Pulling you close, burying your face in his chest. His arms wrapped around your figure tightly and squeezed you further into his being, as to further emphasize his point. "This pretty thing you're hitting on, she's my girl. Right, liebling? " He shifts his gaze towards yours, and grins when you prove his point. Looking back at the guy who was hitting on you, he glared, but that grin never left his face. "Screw off," he said, like the proudest man in the world.

"My goddess.." he whispers, sliding his lips from your wrist and to the very end of your fingers as he got down on one knee. "You're so beautiful.." he whispers again, his rough hands gently caressing your sides— your waist, all the way down to your hips. He loves the fact how gorgeous you look in the black dress he bought for you, to wear at a special event tonight; a celebration party of his team after winning a big match. He couldn't wait to flaunt you off to his teammates. "Here, let me put it on for you." He grabbed the pair of high heels you wanted to wear for the night, lifting up your foot and gently slid them on. He even did the complicated straps delicately, with full care. That just shows how much he loves you, and how much he worships you.

Spoils you rotten. He bought a luxurious car for you on your birthday, a year after you both got together. He took you shopping at the end of the month on the weekends when he is on his day off. He made sure that even if he was not there with you, money wouldn't be a problem if you wanted to spend it on your wants and needs— by giving you his black cards.

He would go nuts if your presence is blinded from his gaze, even for just a minute. He would anxiously search for you with his eyes in the middle of the game— he got it together for sure, but it won't last long. Of course that he won't let this be the reason he slacks off in the middle of the game and makes it the reason he lost the match, but at the same time he couldn't bear the idea of losing you. Really, his teammates had to restrain him from sprinting across the field to the bleachers, to find you row by row. Turns out you paid a quick visit to the toilets, and he could finally relax again, grinning and throwing a wink as he sees you waving at him.

Randomly grope you out of nowhere. Be it in public or in private. He just can't bear to keep his hands off of you— even for just about 5 minutes while waiting in line trying to get some fucking ice cream. He loves to hear you shriek, and would lean into your ear, whispering cruel things that shouldn't have been said in the moment. "Shush.. don't wanna be a bad example for the kids 'round here right, sugar?" But of course, he wouldn't let anyone see the action. He'd feel as if he betrayed himself and you by giving anyone else's eyes the pleasure of the show displayed— your round, fit bottom.

Aftercare. He would pull you in close, caressing the back of your head while cradling you against his chest like a baby. He knows that he was rough with you, not to mention the whole episode of him degrading the shit out of you earlier. But he wasn't going to let you suffer and in pain even after the passionate night— or day you just shared. He'd make sure to whisper sweet things in your ear, and maybe some snarky, dirty remarks that would make you pinch his arm, and he'll complain of how it hurts. "I had to say, you know how I hated it when you got hurt but.. earlier was a different case— ow!" He claimed, pouting from the pinch you gave him. But then he grins again, chuckling. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips, the grin turned into a small, genuine smile. "Okay, okay.. I love you, l'right? Now, get some sleep, sleeping beauty. The pain will go away soon, hopefully." He laughs when you pinch his arm again, and pulls you closer, further into his warm embrace.

© 2023 lunexrin, do not copy, translate, or repost on any other websites without proper credits.

[seancekitsch]

Cobweb Summer: A Modern! Aemond Targaryen x Reader fic

Aemond has liked you since he met you, so much so that your room in the Targaryen summer estate has an adjoining bathroom to him. He supports your indie Perfume and Cologne brand and makes sure you get invites to every red carpet event his family can pulls strings with. Aemond wants nothing more than to give you his mother's ring one day. the only problem? You've been in a PR stunt of a relationship with his older brother for the past two years, and you've just caused a public scandal. aegon x reader, aemond x reader

A/N, Warnings, etc: this came to me in a dream but im only gonna continue if like, people like this lol. drinking, smoking, toxic relationships, cheating, tmz is its own warning, this'll get explicit later

Aemond swipes up on the app for twitter, sick of all of the judgement and commentary he sees, and most of all, pictures of you. It’s not you that he minds, it’s the fact that in said pictures you’re wrapped around Aegon and smiling and showing off diamonds he draped you in accompanied by vicious rumors of infidelity and gold digging. It’s just as you said would happen, and he contemplates venmoing you a courtesy five to accept your inevitable ‘I told you so’ rant later tonight. 

BOSS BABE AND OLD MONEY: RECIPE FOR DISASTER? (Link: popcrave)

Of course Y/n would try to disgrace the Targaryens, she was a STARFUCKER at the end of the day. 

… tarnishing the Targaryen name…

Countless other tweets using words to describe you that make Aemond want to commit some terroristic crime. No one should speak about you like that, even if you called it ahead of time.

It’s almost exactly what you said they’d say when he found you on the balcony Saturday morning.

You looked beautiful, you always do, but this time in a perfectly disheveled way. You’re barefoot on the balcony of your bedroom, make up smeared, hair wild, your Vivienne Westwood dress from last night bunched up and wrinkled, your collar of necklaces askew and more than a few had turned so the clasps were resting along your throat. You were smoking one of his cigarettes, staring down below. 

“Rough morning?” Aemond remembers asking, and now feels stupid for even saying anything. It wasn’t like you to look anything other than put together. He’d come to your room that morning to find it empty, which was not unusual, ready to flop himself on your bed and smoke and chat shit before breakfast like he was doing every morning this summer. 

You looked at him, eyes red and rimmed with unshed tears, and something in Aemond broke. He’d seen you angry, seen you throw glasses and screech and threaten to stab his brother with your Louboutins. He’d held you in a way a boyfriend’s brother probably shouldn’t while you, hungover, did a social media wipe to purge Aegon’s reputation of the night before.

“Wanna watch the beans dry with me?” you asked. What the fuck? Aemond, puzzled, looked down below the balcony, and sure enough there were baked beans dumped onto the hood of Aegon’s white Range Rover. 

“Why beans?” Aemond asked, knowing it was probably deserved.

“Lysa informed me that once they dry you have to get the entire paint job redone,” you say, “But it’s been like two hours and they still look wet.”

“Hmm,” Aemond couldn’t think of something to say. He had no doubt Aegon deserved whatever got his car covered in beans. Aegon was always doing something. 

“Lysa also informed me that she found Aeg this morning in bed with Baela’s plus one,” you rolled your eyes, and Aemond noticed how pretty your make up from last night looked, even if smeared. 

Last night had been your birthday celebration, a bacchanal of a fancy dress party on the grounds of the Targaryen summer estate, a sprawling castle with a lake. You’d picked fairy tales as a theme, everyone in corsets and embellished Rococo era frocks and wings and suits of armor. You’d blown out the candles with your supposedly loving boyfriend and took pictures for the press and everything looked perfect. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Aegon to sleep separately, in fact, it was so common Alicent made sure you had your own room in both the regular house and the summer estate, which Aemond was sure you had to be thankful for. 

Apparently despite the party, all was not well, which was no surprise when it came to Aegon doing his part. Aegon had a habit of pulling these kinds of stunts, but never so publicly disrespectful as to let you and the maids find out. You were fine with indiscretions, as you had told Aemond once, but not with humiliation or disrespect. He could have someone’s on the side of this sham of a public relations stunt, as long as he didn’t make you look like a fool. You hadn’t had yours, whether it be from actual affection or just laziness, Aemond didn’t know. Which he figured was odd, as he thought he knew you well. You were his friend first before all of this mess, as it was. 

“I’m sorry,” he offered, and he remembers how you scoffed at him.

“Why? It’s not like you would fuck someone at my birthday party,” you ashed your cigarette dangerously close to his hand where it rested on the stone railing. 

It was unsurprising when Aemond hit his older brother in front of the guests after breakfast.

In the aftermath of the weekend, all of the revelers have left, and Aegon in his ruined Range Rover having gone back to his penthouse in King’s Landing again to pretend to work from home for the firm. It’s not that Aemond hates his brother, he as quite a bit of love for him, but Aemond lost any desire to go clubbing or on a boys weekend with him once this arrangement between you and he began, and his temper has been more than erratic. 

Aemond knows you’re probably reading all of this, probably distracting yourself from work and making yourself sick. He pushes himself off the couch in the main parlor and takes himself through the seemingly endless corridors, through his bedroom, through your shared bathroom, and into your bedroom. He only needs to look up, to the little lofted study Alicent had contractors build for you; Alicent has quite the affection for you, most likely because of your importance to at least two of her children, and because the two of you gossip like fiends about your shared favorite authors. 

“I told you so,” you say, not even bothering to look away from your macbook, absolute venom in your tone. 

“What would you have me do? Kill my brother? Kill Isla?” He asks, quickly climbing the little spiral staircase with his long legs, “You say the word, I’ll do anything for my oldest friend.”

You don’t make any comment about how realistically you’re the only friend he has that he isn’t related to. 

“Who’s Isla?” You ask, only now looking at him. 

“She’s…”

“Oh,” you realize, “Never say that name again.”

Aemond grimaces. 

“C’mon,” he motions, urging you up from where you sit cross legged on your chair. You stay put, turning back to your phone. You unlock it and pull up your messages, then thrusting your phone into his hand. 

It’s a thread of texts between you and his brother. 

Aegon’s Number: TMZ will back off if I give you my mother’s ring, is that what you want? 

Your Number: That ring is Helaena’s. I want to break up. 

Aegon’s Number: Helaena gets MY family’s ring. I’ll give you mother’s family ring. It will look nice in your perfume ads.

Your Number: Charming, really Aeg. I told you not to humiliate me and you could not even do that. This arrangement is over, I’ll say it was amicable.

Aegon’s Number: What will the tabloids say about you and your little start up when we break up but you’re still deeply enmeshed in my family? Don’t forget that reputation matters to you. 

Your Number: Don’t forget I am Aemond’s friend first, you are a business partnership. 

Aegon’s Number: I love you too!

Aemond hums, scowling as he hands your phone back to you. He despises his grandfather and father for a moment, for putting you through this. 

Had he known that bringing you home for his birthday after meeting at a professional development course would mean you being subjected to Aegon for two years now, he would have never brought you. 

“Let me get you out of here,” Aemond offers, hoping a dip in the lake or a game of croquet will bring you some joy. 

“Can’t,” you sigh, “I’m doing damage control.”

You point to the screen, a bunch of analytics pulled up and at least thirty tabs open. 

“Can I keep you company then?” Aemond asks. You shrug noncommittally, and turn back to your laptop. 

Aemond gathers a bunch of pillows, and lays on his stomach amidst them on the floor. Silence settles peacefully between the two of you, and it’s genuinely nice. 

Aemonds phone vibrates, and reluctantly, he reaches for it. 

Reading the notification, he realizes this is probably the last moment you and his family will have peace for quite a while. 

He decides against showing you his phone. 

[ladykailitha]

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 2

LOL! I love how much you guys are loving this. I took the idea for the names at the bar from a fantasy novel called The Lark and the Wren (I’m pretty sure) by Mercedes Lackey (only in that case it was a brothel).

Also guys: If I have you on my list but you didn’t get the notification for the tag it means one of two things: it’s a side or secondary blog and tumblr doesn’t tag those. Or and this far more likely you have it set that you’re undiscoverable through tumblr. Under settings go to your blog then scroll all the way down to visibility and make sure both are grey. (Or secret third thing that your blog is set to 18+ because tumblr hates porn.)

Part 1

*

Steve was trembling when he got to the apartment he shared with Robin. So badly that he was struggling to put the key in the lock. After the third failed attempt, he let out a sharp cry and sunk to the floor, his back pressed against the door.

He knew that he wasn’t the best person in high school. He did. But he had changed his senior year. Stopped hanging out with Tommy and Carol. Started focusing on his art. Meeting Robin.

Hell, as far as Steve could remember they hadn’t even gone after Eddie and his friends. He would like to say that it was because he had a crush on the guy. But no, it was just they ran in different circles and were just outside their purview.

He held his hands up and while they still shook, they weren’t as bad. He got up and tried again. With some effort he managed to get the key in the lock. He sighed in relief as the tumbler slid and allowed him to open the door.

As badly as Steve wanted to grab the six pack out of the fridge and down the whole thing, wallowing in self-pity. He couldn’t because he actually had work.

He had to train his replacement. He worked at an upscale bar close to campus, bar-tending. It was good money and he was able to work nights and go to school during the day. But if everything went according to plan, at the end of summer Steve would be starting his student teaching position. So the bar needed a new bartender.

He pulled on the black slacks and white button up that his uniform and his white sneakers. He rolled up his sleeves and checked his hair really quick in the mirror.

It would have to do.

He splashed water on his face to wash away the tears and clear his mind of cobwebs. He didn’t have the liberty of fucking up.

Steve grabbed his car keys and jumped into his BMW. The last remnant of his father’s hospitality. He had gotten the car when he was sixteen and the car was nearing its first decade. He kept his fingers crossed that it would last until he got his first full time teaching job.

When he pulled up the bar, he could see her waiting for him by the door. She was pretty blonde with bright eyes and a cheerful expression. She was wearing a short black skirt and high heeled shoes.

Steve shook his head. She was in for a rough time tonight if that’s what she was going to be wearing.

He trotted up to her. “Hey, you must be the new girl.”

“Yeah I’m C–”

Steve held up his hand. “If you’re going to tell me your real name, don’t. The boss doesn’t like us knowing each other’s real names, says it distracts from the ambient feel. I’m Garnet.”  

She blushed. “Right, right. He said. I’m Opal.”

Steve nodded. “Or at least at first hopefully by the time I leave you’ll be upgraded to a nicer gem.”

Opal fell instep with him as he led the way through the bar. “Have you always been Garnet, then?”

Steve licked his lips. “Yeah. It’s something of a running joke now. I’m the best bartender this bar has ever had and I’ve never been upgraded to Ruby or whatever.”

She nodded.

“Truth is Diamond respects me, but he sure the hell doesn’t like me,” he explained.

“You think Diamond is his real name?” Opal asked eagerly.

Steve shrugged. “Could be.” He grabbed two aprons from their hooks and tossed one at her. “This will help prevent you going home smelling like the bar.”

She nodded, tying it deftly around her waist.

“Diamond said you’ve done this before?” Steve asked, pulling out two white towels and tossing her one.

Opal nodded. “At my last job. It closed up because the owners retired.”

Steve nodded. “So then this won’t be too difficult. This will just be me showing you were everything is and showing you how to make the house specials.”

“Pretty much,” she said cheerfully.

Steve looked down at her shoes. “Your last place make you wear heels to tend in?”

She looked down at her feet. “Yeah, said I was too short to see over the bar otherwise.”

He cocked his head to side. “But you aren’t that short...”

Opal laughed, clear as a bell. “Oh I know. He was just a misogynist pig. I do have flats with me since I take the bus.”

“Put them on,” Steve instructed. “We move way too fast for you to be in heels. I don’t want you breaking your ankle or have blisters by the end of the night.”

She nodded and pulled out a pair of black flats and slipped them on, shoving the heels back in the purse.

“You’ll want tennis shoes or any other comfortable shoe from now on,” Steve explained. “You’re also allowed to wear slacks if you want. The patrons aren’t going to see below your waist and the apron covers your chest. Your tips will come from you being fast and good.”

Opal saluted. “Aye, aye Captain!”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I think you’ll fit in just fine.”

“Garnet!” a uncoordinated blur shouted and jumped into his arms. Steve caught her deftly and shook his head.

“Hey, Pearl,” he said with a grin. He set her down. “Say hi to the new girl.”

Pearl turned slowly to see that yes, someone was with Steve.

“Uh, hi,” she said, shyly. “Garnet’s my best friend.”

Steve gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, you are. Pearl, this is Opal. She’s my replacement come August. Opal, this gangly giraffe is one of the best waitresses the Queen’s Crown has to offer.”

Pearl smacked Steve’s arm. “Pay no attention to him.”

Opal laughed. “Kinda hafta because he’s training me.”

“Well besides that,” Pearl said. “He’s just a big dingus with a bigger heart.”

Steve blushed.

“Aww...” Opal said, “you two are cute together.”

Pearl made a fake vomiting noise. “We’re just best friends. Platonic with a capital P.”

Steve shook his head. “Ignore her.”

Opal laughed. “Five minutes in and I’m already ignoring everyone. This must be quite the friendly place.”

Just then a large man came out of the back and threw his arms wide open.

“Opal, my pet!” he boomed. “You made it. These two haven’t been giving you a hard time, have they?”

Opal shook her head. “They’ve been sweet.”

“Good, good,” Diamond said with a grin. “The bar opens in an hour. Garnet will show you everything you need to do to get stared.”

He gave them a wink and lumbered back into office.

Steve cleared his throat. “Right. So everyone pitches into to step and take down everything. Take down will include wiping everything down and sweeping and mopping the floors. Even Diamond comes out and helps wash glasses.”

Opal’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

Pearl nodded. “He’s kinda a if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself kind of guy. Not always, he does trust us to do our jobs, but he’s  very hands on.”

“But he doesn’t help set up?” Opal asked,

Steve looked back behind him and then back at her. “He gets the drawers ready for the day. He counts it all before hand and then we count our drawers with him after. He also counts the tip jar in front of everyone and gives everyone their percentages.”

Opal’s jaw dropped and she stared at them in shock. A man came out of the back dressed similarly to Pearl in a black button up and black slacks. While Pearl had black boots, this guy had white sneakers.

“This is Topaz, one of the other waiters,” Pearl said as the guy came up to shake her hand. “This is Opal, Garnet’s replacement.”

The guy lifted an eyebrow. “That’s some pretty big shoes to fill.”

Opal blushed. “I’m just surprised you guys are hiring six months out for that.”

Topaz shook his head. “That’s Diamond being a worry-wart again. If you don’t work out, he wants time to hire someone else.”

“You know,” Opal said, putting her hands on her hips, “for someone who insists everyone go by gem nicknames Diamond is sounding more and more like the perfect boss.”

The other three laughed.

“Pretty much,” Pearl said, “He may be an annoying hipster, but he’s good boss and he’ll take care of you.”

Topaz hip checked Steve. “Unless you’re Garnet, here.”

Steve pushed him playfully. “Shut it, man.”

Topaz laughed. “This idiot accidentally hit on Diamond’s daughter.”  

Pearl grinned. “In front of her fiance no less.”

Steve threw his arms in the air. “No one told me who they were. I had been here for like a week. And every signal she was sending me was that she was interested.”

Topaz patted him on the back. “You keep telling yourself that, man.”

Steve shook his head. “Let’s get to work before Diamond comes out and starts yelling at us.”

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16 Part 17 Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1@scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster

[justagalwhowrites]

HEY BESTIE I LOVE THE PROMPTS #s 21 86 94 114 128 146 😭❤️ THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE TO READ

LOVE U SM

HI BESTIE!!

You had sent in one of these before I asked you to resend them lol but HEY turns out that was the perfect set up to post this one shot, too :D

This is featuring Joel and a smuggling partner who's been working with him and Tess for a while. She's new for this fic but I really like her so she may be making another appearance. I hope you love it!

Thanks so much for writing in and reading! Love you!!

Pretty Girl

Your smuggling partner, Joel Miller, is being uncommonly social during a trip to the Speakeasy.

Based on Prompt 128: "You're pretty" "You're drunk"

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Just smut. Smutty smutty smut. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only.

Length: 2.7k

“This is going to be a stupid fucking run,” you took a sip of shitty whiskey - which was the only whiskey to be found in the QZ so you dealt with it. Better than nothing, at least. 

“It’s not that stupid,” Tess replied. 

“We’re talking a total of, what, eight days on the road?” You asked. “Unless one of you assholes has a car I don’t know about…” 

“No car,” Tess said. “But I’ve heard from other folks who have passed through there in the last few months and it’s eight days of damn near empty country with a literal farm of pot on the other side. We’re talking about pounds and pounds of the stuff, we’ll be set for a fucking year off this one run…” 

You took another drink, looking out at the other patrons of the bar. Downtrodden and looking for solace at the bottom of a glass. Not all that different than the dive bars you frequented before the world ended eight years earlier but there had been a charm to them then. You and your girlfriends chose those places to add some kind of danger to your debauchery. The concept of going out for cocktails or a beer after work now was almost laughable it was so foreign. 

You’d had that kind of life once, though. One where you wore sheath dresses and spiked heels to your office and got paid more money than you needed to write bullshit ads for bullshit companies like Walmart. A trip to a dive bar was a fun way to step outside of your protected little bubble, a way to hook up with a guy with callused hands who might be a little rougher than the guys in your office whose muscle came from machines at the gym. 

You couldn’t believe you used to stress about that shit now. It was all so stupid, the pointless deadlines and the KPIs and the concern about what your boss would think if you showed up with a rough blue collar guy to a company cocktail hour. 

Now, you were only worried about surviving to the next day. And this run would either make that very easy or very hard, there was no in between. 

“What do you think, Miller?” You looked at Joel, the most sullen of your little trio. “Think it’s worth the risk?” 

He sighed, looking between you and Tess. 

“I think if Tess’ intel is good then we’re fuckin’ stupid to not take advantage of it,” he said. “But we can’t be fuckin’ dumb about goin’. We have to make sure we’re well supplied because I’m not getting caught with my pants down in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere just to run some pot into the QZ.” 

You ground your teeth for a moment before sighing. 

“Fine. If you’re both in then I’m in. But I swear to God if this fucking scheme gets me killed I will haunt both of you until the day you die.” 

Tess laughed a little and downed the rest of her whiskey. 

“On that note,” she said, getting up from your table. “I’m getting out of here. We’ll look at getting the fuck out of here in about a week, make sure you’re set on ammo and rations by then, yeah?” 

“Sure,” you nodded once and watched her go and turned back to Joel. “Ever wonder what the fuck would happen to Tess if she wasn’t in charge of something for a whole five minutes?” 

Joel snorted. 

“Doubt that’d ever happen,” he took a sip of his beer, polishing it off. 

“You heading out, too?” You asked. 

He looked at you for a moment, almost like he was assessing you. 

“Thinkin’ about stayin’,” he replied eventually. “Want somethin’ else from the bar?” 

“I’ll take a beer if you’re offering,” you shrugged, not used to Joel doing anything social beyond the bare minimum. You’d been doing smuggling runs with him for two years now and you were pretty sure you could count on one hand the number of conversations he’d initiated on your trips outside the QZ together. 

You certainly didn’t DISLIKE the man. You liked him probably a little too much if you were being completely honest about it. You liked that he was broad and strong and that he was the kind of guy you’d pick up on one of those nights out in a dive bar with your girlfriends. But you liked more than that, too. You liked the fact that he stopped at a pharmacy on the way back from a run once and grabbed a handful of bottles of children’s Tylenol. You’d frowned as he stashed them in his pack. 

“Neighbor’s daughter keeps gettin’ ear infections,” he said. “Poor thing sounds miserable.” 

He never mentioned it again. 

Joel brought two beers back to the table and put one in front of you before taking his seat again, looking out at the handful of people dancing to the music from the jukebox. 

“So Joel,” you said, twisting the glass in your fingers. “If you had to pick one thing - not a person because we all have a person - that you miss most about before, what would you pick?” 

“Hm,” he frowned, taking a drink. “Never thought about it.” 

“Well I’m asking you to think about it,” you smiled a little as you took a sip of beer. “That’s kind of the point.” 

One corner of his mouth pulled up slightly at that and he shook his head a bit. 

“Probably goin’ to listen to music or playin’ music,” he said eventually. “Somethin’ about live music… anyway. Probably miss that most. Or maybe museums.” 

“Museums.” You raised your eyebrows. 

He nodded. 

“Went to a lot of museums,” he said. 

He got a bit of a wistful look in his eye for a moment before he took another drink. 

“Didn’t strike me as the type,” you said.

He shrugged. 

“How about you?” He asked. 

“Restaurants,” you said immediately. “Hands down. I’d gained like 10 pounds on a trip not long before the outbreak so for the two weeks before I was dieting like crazy and I’ve never regretted a damn thing more. I was eating the most bland, boring shit like a dumbass. Jesus Christ, what I wouldn’t give now for a New York slice. Or a bagel. Fuck, I think I’d rather have one more true NYC bagel than ever have great sex again.” 

“Sounds like you’ve just never had great sex,” Joel smirked a bit. 

“No,” you shook your head. “You’ve just never had a great bagel.”

The two of you ended up having a few more drinks together and you actually heard Joel laugh - not something you knew he was actually capable of even after a few years of knowing the guy. 

“C’mon,” he said, downing the last of another beer. “Should get out of here before it’s curfew…” 

“Joel Miller, consummate rule follower,” you teased but knocked back the rest of your drink as well, leaving the speakeasy together. 

“Have a question for you,” he asked, his hands in his pockets. 

“Ask away.” 

“Where’d you learn to shoot the way you do?” He looked over at you. “You never seemed like the type. Still don’t, if I’m bein’ honest ‘bout it.” 

“My dad started taking me hunting when I was a kid,” you smiled a little at the memory. “Always liked the challenge but what I really liked was that he liked doing it with me. Never could get his attention any other way, really. Don’t think he ever wanted a daughter but he got stuck with me. So he took me hunting and I loved it. And then he started teaching me more and more and eventually I was just a damn good shot.” 

He nodded slowly. 

“Well, I owe ‘im,” he said. “You being a fuckin’ deadeye saved my ass more than once.” 

“You know you don’t have to wait until you’re drunk to talk to me,” you said, glancing over to him. “You can ask me shit like this when it comes to mind.” 

“Not drunk,” he said. 

“Sure you’re not,” you rolled your eyes, coming to the road where you usually went your separate ways to go to your respective apartments. But when you turned to say goodbye, he’d turned toward your apartment instead, already walking that way. 

“OK so you’re really drunk,” you said, catching up with him quickly. “Your apartment is the other way, Joel.” 

“Not drunk,” he said. “Just makin’ sure you get home OK. Not usually out this late. Not with me, anyway.” 

You looked at him, incredulous, but didn’t argue. You walked in silence for a few minutes and you felt his eyes on you periodically and you couldn’t figure out why.

“Is everything OK?” You asked eventually. “Didn’t… I dunno, get bit in the QZ somehow, right?” 

“I’m fine,” he frowned. “Why?” 

“Because you’re being weirdly talkative and walking me home,” you said. “And you keep looking at me. And I’d like to make sure you’re not about to drop dead or turn or something.” 

“I’m fine,” he shrugged. 

“OK…” 

“It’s just…” he paused. “You’re… pretty.” 

You snorted. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“I ain’t drunk,” he said. 

“And I ain’t been pretty since 2003,” you shook your head and smiled a bit. “That ship sailed with the Lancome counter at the mall and access to regular blowouts.” 

“Well that’s a load of shit,” he said. “You’re pretty. You just are, don’t need fuckin’ makeup or that other shit to see that.” 

You stopped walking and stared at him for a moment. He stopped walking, standing under a street light, and turned to look at you. 

“What.” 

“I swear to God, Joel, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were hitting on me.” 

He shrugged. 

“Maybe I am.” 

You scoffed. 

“I’m being serious!” You said. “Don’t make fun of me…” 

“I’m bein’ serious, too,” he said. “Not makin’ fun.” 

You stepped closer to him, so your bodies were aligned and almost touching, your arms crossed over yourself. 

“What were you planning to do about it?” You asked. 

He took your chin gently in one of his large hands and tilted your head back before kissing you. HIs lips were plush, unexpectedly soft in contrast to the pleasant scratch of his mustache on your skin. He kissed you until you were breathless, your hands flexing into fists as you tried to work some of the growing tension from your limbs. He pulled back a little, his nose brushing your own. 

“Somethin’ like that,” he said quietly. “More, if you’ll let me.” 

You we ripping his clothes off before the door to your apartment had fully closed, his shirt winding up somewhere on the floor of your living room alongside your bra. 

When you were both naked, you pushed him down on your bed, your pussy already dripping and aching for him. You moved to straddle him and he brought a hand down over your sensitive mound, dipping his fingers into your slit and gathering your wetness before sliding up to tease your clit. 

“Goddamn you’re wet,” he groaned. “You walk around like this all the fuckin’ time, just ready for it?” 

“No,” you panted. “Took you practically sticking your tongue down my throat outside…” 

“Oh is that all,” he worked your clit harder, making you moan. 

“Maybe you’re pretty, too, Miller,” you closed your eyes, trying to focus, your body already starting to tighten, your sex all but begging to have something to grip and throb around as aching heat started to swirl through you. 

“Know that’s bullshit,” he leaned forward and nipped your throat before kissing and sucking his way to your collarbone, taking his hand away from your slit and rubbing your arousal over his thick, hard length. You tilted your hips forward, brushing his weeping tip with your soaked seam. “Fucking hell Baby…” 

“Need you,” you dug your nails into his back and he moaned at it. “Need to feel…” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, holding onto the base of his cock and lining it up with your grasping, longing core. His head barely dipped into you, the burning stretch doing nothing to sate your desperate wanting. “Need inside you, need you to fuckin’ take it…” 

You thrust down on him, taking him into you in one firm, quick motion. It made you gasp, his size almost overwhelming. You whimpered as your body adjusted, your pussy feeling more stretched than it ever had before. 

“Jesus Christ,” his forehead dropped to your shoulder, his breaths coming in keening, desperate pants. “Holy fucking God you’re tight, fuck…” 

You started to ride him then, beginning slow but hard, lifting your hips up before slamming yourself back down on him, your channel gripping him tight every time he was thrust up into you. 

His hands went to your hips, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of you, clinging to you as you worked his cock. 

“Take it like this?” You panted in his ear before sinking your teeth into the muscle of his shoulder. 

“Fuck, just like that,” his hands were more desperate on you now, like he was going to lose control. “Want you to make yourself cum on my fuckin’ cock, want to feel you cum all over my fuckin’ cock…” 

Your pussy tightened further around him and you pressed your chest tightly against against him, riding him hard and fast now, your clit pressing against the softness of his stomach with every firm thrust. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you gasped as you came, taking him all the way inside yourself and holding him there as you pulsed around him. 

It was like he’d been waiting for you to cum, waiting for you to be so lost in your own orgasm that you couldn’t do anything to stop him from taking what he wanted. 

His arms went around you and he picked you up for a moment before pressing you down into your bed, his cock buried in you to the root. He started fucking into you while your pussy still throbbed around him. Your hands flew to your bed, fingers tangling in the sheets as he spread your legs wide and looked down to where you were joined. 

“Fuck, look at you takin’ me so goddamn well,” he groaned, increasing his pace. Your pussy started to contract around him again, your clit both begging for attention but so oversensitive that you were worried him toying with it would make you cry. “Tight fuckin’ pussy so goddamn good…” 

He pressed a thumb into your clit and it was like a shockwave rolled through you, something almost like another orgasm coursing through you. But it offered no relief, just driving yourself to get tighter around Joel, your body trying to bring him deeper, hold onto him for longer. 

“Not gonna last long with pussy this goddamn good,” he said, leaning over you and kissing and biting down your jaw to your throat. You rocked your hips up against him in desperate, stuttering thrusts. “Where do you want me, Baby?” 

“On my clit,” you moaned. “Fuck, please…” 

“Jesus,” he groaned, fucking into you harder, his cock forcing you to stretch over him to just shy of the point of pain with every motion.  Your body was so taut again you were worried you were going to snap with it, with the aching drive of pleasure and want taking over you. “Fuck, I’m gonna…” 

He thrust in you twice more before pulling out of you and jerking himself just once over your dripping slit. He pressed his swollen cock head to your clit and gasped as he came, spilling himself over you, the warm pulsing of his spend triggering your orgasm. 

“Fuck you’re so pretty when you cum,” he panted, watching as the last of his cum dripped onto your throbbing clit. He ran his thumb up from your hole through your slit to your overwrought clit, rubbing his cum into you as he circled your clit, making you shudder and gasp as your orgasm eased. 

He took one last, long look at your naked body before collapsing beside you, still panting for breath. 

“So,” he said after a minute. “Still think you’d rather have a bagel?” 

You laughed once. 

“Bagels can go to hell,” you said. “As long as you promise to do that to me again.” 

“Any time you want, Pretty Girl,” he said. “Any time you want.” 

[thornsent]

oh well apparently they have me blocked so I guess they'll be fine if they go on my blog and make the decision to look and see this lol <3

I lost my best fucking friend this year like a week before my birthday because they decided to cheat on their fiancee who they had been with for 12 years with at least 3 of their coworkers at the job their fiancee got them. their fiancee was at this job for a loooong time and considered their coworkers like family. not only that but my former best friend lied to everyone and manipulated the fuck out of the situation. at first when people confronted them they seemed to relent and just accept they fucked up, but when I confronted them and really went in on just how fucked up this is to me specifically (I had an ex that did this to me LMAO and they know about how bad it fucked me up) they then promptly began to gaslight me, say that I knew I was cheating on their fiancee and ENABLED it, etc.

it was unimaginably cruel and completely unlike them and I am quite literally traumatized and only just coming out of shock from it because that person is not my best friend and I genuinely do not understand what happened to them. I told them over n over when they vented about the issues they were having to just talk about it like adults but they never did, they just ghosted their FIANCEE and tried to avoid them and literally told me they "hoped they'd just get the hint" (again. 12 years total they were together. they were engaged. I was so stoked for them and so excited to go to the wedding. their ex had been saving for a house and everything and it was just so reminiscent of what my last ex did to me that it makes everything a thousand times worse)

Our last conversation I barely remember bc I was shaking and crying so hard I could not see the screen (they broke up w their partner over text too. so like. yeah.) but I basically was just like I don't understand why you did this when you know how bad it hurt me why would you do it to someone you loved for 12 years, why would you lie to me, why would you lie to everyone else, I love you but this is so cruel and horrible it changes how I view you forever and I can't move past that, etc (in addition to screaming at them for cheating on their partner with a wook with heinous vibes and the wit of a styrofoam block) and eventually their responses got so fucking horrendously manipulative I muted them with the intent to come back to the conversation, but then other shit kept piling onto me and quite literally this shit was so bad whenever I would begin to try and unpack it I would have a mental breakdown

anyway I've been having a rough fucking october because in addition to it being the 10 year anniversary of my worst abuser's death (mom, died on halloween when I was 16) normally this time of year I'd be spending a ton of time with the now-ex best friend because we tried to throw halloween parties every year and we always made a big production of it. this year, because I'm so far away I don't get to see any of my friends or do anything. We don't have the money for gas. I haven't made friends here because when I haven't been busy I've been too exhausted to even take care of myself, and I can't find any sort of event for adults for halloween locally. I can watch spooky movies with my girlfriend but fuck dude. It's about the tradition.

moreover it's about the sense of family. That's going to fuck me up this entire holiday season and I won't forgive them for it--- My ex bestie's family was so inclusive of me, I'd get invited over for thanksgiving and christmas and it made me look forward to those holidays because I wouldn't be rotting alone in my room, I'd be with friends. With family. I've never fucking had that and then I finally did and then they fucking took it from me and I don't think I will ever forgive them for it. I didn't block them here or anywhere else because I really truly in my stupid fucking heart thought they'd realize how bad they fucked up, but also realize they didn't have to lose me too. but they fucking chose to, at the end of the day. it felt like they wanted to get rid of everyone from their boring old life and go fuck this stupid fucking russian boy.

I'd been trying not to post about this because I know for a fact some of you guys know who I am talking about and are also mutuals with them and idk I guess I wanted to preserve some sense of their dignity? but something about this, about realizing they fucking blocked me, just gets to me. I left the light on for them and they just smashed it. There's literally no sense or purpose to their actions aside from selfishness. they ruined their own life and I think ultimately they only cried so much because they were found out, not because they actually felt guilt or remorse for what they did. and if that's the case then I guess I just never knew this person at all and it is heartbreaking and so isolating.

if they ever read this I do genuinely hope it haunts you, I hope the consequences follow you until you learn your fucking lesson, I have shed far too many tears over this and I know my Mother is watching you. I hope you are publicly strangled by your own shame until you fix whatever it is in yourself that makes you do these things to other people and their feelings and lives because it isn't cute, it isn't funny, it is a disease that spreads to everything you love until you find the source and stop it. and if you don't then brother I just hope you die before you do it to someone else. You don't get to shimmy out of this.

[risu5waffles]

sleeps

things have been rough around here, but, like, they always kinda are. money got tight at the end of last paycheck (shouldna gone out to see those movies, lol!), tight enough i had to go the last couple of days wivout smoking. as you can (might be able to? are you a smoker? i kinda hope not) imagine, that kicked my sleep schedule right in the fucking teeth.

i wake up every hour on the hour now.

i don't really sleep in the in between.

but payday was friday. so i got my money.

paid my rent. my bills. budgeted out for food.

i'll have 1000yen a week until next payday (that's 6.57 in US dollaridoos, for those of y'all what don't need to care about exchange rates).

guess i've quit smoking then.

guess i'll have to push out my doc appointment until end of next month, and hope i don't run out of ooze.

i suppose i can ration it. it won't kill me.

i cried a bit, which was a success of sorts. last time i cried i don't remember. last year? before going on e, i'm pretty sure. i was getting a bit worried; you know, like, everyone goes on about crying being easier, and sometimes i'd wonder if i'd wound up broken somehow.

anyway, as a brick, i view metaphor and subtlety as afterthought. i know writers what trade in nuance, and they are cowards, as it's said. was working the register the other, and i had the thought "it's like drowning, but wivout the benefit of actually being allowed to die," and there you go. mallets are more delicate.

this was, roundabout, a three hour build? i'd mocked up some of the logic and set yesterday morning, but hadn't really liked how it was working up, so i got home and redid the whole thing. not really from scratch, as i'd been thinking about the logic most the day already.

i mostly like how it turned out. there are ultimately limits on what i can do and how i can present using LBP as a base palette, but yeah. the character animation worked out really nicely (chronos is right, the drowning animation is really kinda grisly the longer you leave it hang at the end), though i wasn't really able to get the lighting quite where i wanted it. the water in the tank is nicely darkened at the beginning of the cycle, but the lighting around and wivin it feels a bit iffy, like it needed a lil more time in the oven. by the time i got to where it felt printable tho', i was well exhausted.

was, like, i'm really gonna finally sleep this time.

lol

[acircusfullofdemons]

Questions: 1,, 4,, 18,, 19,, 20 for the Para Motivation Ask Meme please !! (ෆ ᴗ͈ ω ᴗ͈ ෆ) I’’d like to request Neil and Ozzie,, but you can do the paras you’’ve most recently been daydreaming about if you’’d like !! ( ◉ ω ◉ )

[ ASK GAME ] || (I'm pretty sure you meant the para relationship ask game lol) Funnily enough Neil & Ozzie WERE the last paras I daydreamed about!! They were doing kinky sex while I was working and uhm I think Neil might be ace?? We'll get back to that at some point. But I'm also gonna do Alice from @fractured-fables since I drew her earlier & also Emory bc there's now a sign at work that looks SO MUCH LIKE HIM it makes me loose my mind.

1.) What’s their relationship with their parents like? Is there one parent they’re closer too than the other? If your was raised by a different caretaker, what is their relationship like, and how does your para feel about the absence of their parents in their life?

Neil: Technically doesn't have parents as he was treated as an experiment since the minute he was born. However, his father was a scientist at Arcaynis (the organization that's experimenting on people). He willingly subjected his own son to horrific experiments, but thankfully(??) Neil didn't know this. He doesn't really have any parental figures, and kinda wished he did. Maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up if someone held him a little bit as a kid.

Ozzie: His father was very abusive, but thankfully his momma was always ready to defend him. He is a very big momma's boy and yknow, I think they still talk sometimes. He probably sent her some of the money he stole when he was a villain.

Alice: Does not get along with her parents. Well. Its complicated. She loves them, they love her, but they don't really "get" her, if you catch my drift?? Objectively speaking, they're fine parents, just probably not the best for Alice. HOWEVER, Phineas becomes like her second dad/uncle/older brother figure in Wonderland, and those two understand each other SO WELL. Funnily enough, they actually hated each other when they first met! Both for good reasons but nowadays you'd never know. Also did you know some people ship Alice & Hatter romantically??? They are Wrong. So very wrong thats her dad!!!

Emory: His "backstory" gives him parents, but they're also dead and desperately need to be buried bc they're rotting corpses are stinking up the house. He doesn't really consider them his "parents", anyway. Technically, he doesn't have any, and he's perfectly fine with that. Still, Theia likes to call him her son sometimes which is kinda funny so he allows it and humors her by occasionally referring to her as his mother.

4.) Who was your para’s childhood best friend? When and how did they meet? Are they still friends?

Neil: Dahlia!! She was the daughter of another scientist at Arcaynis, but not an experiment. Neil loved her, she was quite literally the ONLY good thing in his life. Dahlia wasn't supposed to sneak into wherever Neil was being kept, but she was curious. And stubborn, because she kept coming back almost every day! Eventually, she was encouraged to interact with Neil to observe how he reacted to certain stimuli. Unfortunately, he accidentally killed her while he was escaping Arcaynis. He often wonders what it'd be like if she lived — would she be proud? He almost idolizes and romanticizes her/her existence. It's kinda creepy.

Ozzie: Ozzie was a very shy, soft spoken, and introverted kid. He was bullied a lot for being a teachers pet / being smart. It was rough, but Nora Osborn took pity on him and helped Ozzie gain some confidence during high school! I have not introduced her yet (bc I. keep forgetting to) but Nora is Ozzie's wife! Canonically she had roughly 8 minutes of screen time and died but I haven't fully decided on what I wanna do with her in MaaC yet. But she does exist, and Ozzie loves her dearly.

Alice: Her best friends are Dorothy and Wendy!!! They've been bffs for varying years, but all met during early childhood. I think they all just met on the playground one day, yknow how little kids are lol. And yes, they're still friends today! I call them the "iskeai girls" bc they all get transported to other worlds lol.

Emory: OK so technically Emory never had a "childhood", he's an ageless being that sort of just...exists. but uhm I guess we can say Ketrill?? Ketrill was created by Theia so they spent a lot of time together. They're kinda like brothers.

18.) How important are your para’s various relationships to them? Do they cherish the people closest to them? Does their support system keep them going? How about strangers? What are their feelings about humanity as a whole? Is it easier for them to live those closest to them vs humanity as a whole?

Neil: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. He has never had friends/family/ANYTHING before escaping Arcaynis, so he'll cling to anything he can stick his claws in. He learns to balance different relationships (as well as the types of relationships) as time goes on with the help of those around him, but by GOD was he, uh, a bit of an obsessive stalker towards practically anyone he met the first few years of living in society. As for humanity? It sucks. Shut that shit down.

Ozzie: Oohh, he's a sappy mother motherfucker that loves his friends and probably believed in the power of friendship when he was younger (he still kinda does sshhh). He has mixed views on humanity but like, he's human too so he doesn't want it totally gone.

Alice: Depends on the person tbh. Earth? Forget them tbh. Wonderland? THAT'S HER FAMILY!!! Yes all of Wonderland is her family now lol that's her HOME. She loves it there and genuinely considers it her home, she'd live there always if given the option. She thinks humanity on earth sucks but Wonderlandians got smth going on trust her on that.

Emory: So looking at it now I think Emory is only close to like, 5 people total. That's it. I don't know if he'd consider them a "friend group" or a "support system" but he does care for them, which is saying something, as he doesn't really get close to people. I don't think he really has an opinion on humanity. Like it exists. That's it. He doesn't really...care??

19.) How does your para realize they care about someone? Is it instantaneous, or a slow realization? Are they dense, or maybe realize once it’s too late that there was something there?

Neil: He's...a little dense. To everyone else, it's so fucking obviously because he's trailing after the person like a lost puppy and is borderline obsessed with them. But he probably won't realize how much they mean until someone either points it out or he looses that person.

Ozzie: It creeps up on him. He knows he cares about someone, its the level/extent of it that surprises him! Like he thought Neil was just a good ally/coworker until something innocuous happened, like maybe he saw the other sleeping and then BAM! Head over heels in love. Incredible, really.

Alice: I feel like Alice is similar to Ozzie, she knows she cares about those around her, I guess sometimes she just forgets HOW much she cares. Or sometimes its hard to care, with all the shit they've been through/have going on. She tries her best to make sure those she loves feel appreciated, though.

Emory: Imma be honest...he doesn't get "close" to people. He's an Interdimensional Demonic Cat, The Librarian. He records everything, narrates all of it. So getting close to those he is observing...he doesn't like it. He was close to Delilah, and she died. He was a little too involved with False Moon, and they're pretty traumatized. By FF/LIW he's kinda keeping his distance. Anyway! He knows pretty quickly when he genuinely cares about someone and not solely because he wants the "story" to continue. And he will deny it until the end of time, because God forbid a kitty experience love!!

20.) How does your para expresses their feelings of care/love to others? What’s their love language (giving and receiving!)

Neil: Gift giving!! He gives very weird gifts, though. Honestly he's kinda like a cat bringing its owner dead animals?? Like uh thanks buddy but what am I supposed to do with this exactly. He very much likes receiving physical contact. Hold him. Please.

Ozzie: Quality time!! He likes taking people out to museums and aquariums, those type of places, and seeing what they point out. He also likes receiving quality time. Literally all you gotta do is exist in the same room as him he is so easy to please.

Alice: Acts of service!! She'll get your groceries! She'll paint your roses! She'll die for you! Literally!! She likes receiving words of affirmation. Tell her she's doing good. Please. Don't actually she'll break down and sob.

Emory: Physical contact. I feel like that's a typical/standard cat answer. Yes he does express love like an actual cat would. He likes receiving quality time. Just spend some time in his library, he'll appreciate it a lot.

[cherryslyce]

Enjoy the second to last HC's, bubz. Who knows... The anon to lovers pipeline sounds kinda in rn..

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*in bed*

Reg: So. Just to clarify..You actually like me right?

MC: No, I kept a portrait that kinda hurt to have in my pocket which gave me splinters btw, around for years, got devasted by the demise, slept in said portraits room as a source of comfort, went all the way to NORWAY at the off chance something could be done for said boy in portrait, went into a creepy cave, nearly died, did a ritual, all because I can't fucking stand you.

Reg, contemplating: ..you were in my bed before marriage? 😙

MC: You kinda make me wanna drown myself.

Reg: I thought we established it's too soon for those-

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Reg, panicked: YOU SAW VOLDEMORT IN THE CAVE?

MC, crying: YEAH HE WAS SO FUCKING UGLY.

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Sirius: There is no fucking way.

Harry: There is definitely a way and fucking is likely involved.

Reg, unfazed: What was it you say birdie.. No bitches? 🤔

Sirius and Harry: Fuck this combo. Fuck this combo. FUCK THIS COMBO-

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Blaire: Nah you better be fucking forreal.. FIRST YOU ANSWER MY MOM BEFORE ME, LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR OUR CHILD AND NOW YOU GOTTA SICK VICTORIAN CHILD LOOKING BOYFRIEND? I'm having a moment. Oh i'm have a serious moment.

Reg, coughs: Wrong brother to be having a moment with.

Blaire: Girl, you BETTER be joking.. 👁️_👁️

Mc: I think I'm going to pre-maturely die now. I wish you the best.

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Kreacher: MASTER REGULUS HAS RETURNED AT LAST!

*Reg holding MC's hand*

Kreacher: WITH UH.. THE BLOOD..THE BLOOD PLEASER..?

Sirius, behind them both, disgusted: You know, I know you don't know what you're saying and you're aiming for better than blood traitor but you could have said literally anything else. Anything. God.

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I have so many.. thoughts. feelings. headcannons. but rly, I want to say thank you first. I've had a pretty rough month and my highlight was always getting to read Second Son. Reg always was a soft spot of mine but your characterisation was probably as close to how I imagined it. When the 3rd last chapter came out? Girl, I was in a boba shop, moral supporting my friend and he thought I was delirious CUZ I WAS GIGGLING. Of course, I'm sad it's come to an end but your journey as a writer sure as hell hasn't thus I'm super excited for you new work!! I hope you're proud of the series because not only were you delivering so often, you rly made all our days when you did. I'm wishing both sides of your pillow are how you desire them to be..

All the love, beloved hc anon 💌✨

My lovely hc anon <33!!! The anon to lover pipeline is def in<333 !!!!

Regulus would definitely be up at ungodly hours just contemplating that kind of stuff (poor reader, but same Reg). Also LOL, reader was more disturbed by Voldemort's snake face than anything else (like reader definitely gets nightmares of that moment at the cave still).

Regulus and Reader would literally drive Sirius up the WALL, like they give him and James a run for their money. +++ I'm so dead LMAO, you captured Blaise's humor perfectly, that is something he would definitely say in his head while plastering on a wide grin !

BLOOD PLEASER. I LOVE that omg...Kreacher is trying to be better, but he would most definitely come up with the most absurd nicknames ever.

I'm so glad that my series has been able to lift your spirits, my dear!! And I must thank you as well because your hc's always made my days so much brighter and really helped bring the characters to life!! You are truly one of my most beloved anons on here, and I really am going to miss these messages <33! I went into this series not expecting much, but I'm so overwhelmed by the kind words I received, and I starkly remember the first ever hc message you sent me. I was just blown away that someone would take the time to do so much for the series, and I truly want to thank you <33!!

I'm excited for the journey ahead and I hope to see you around !! Wishing you a lovely day/night wherever you are !!

-cherry <33

[nukenai]

tw death stuff since it’s BEEN A REAL FEW DAYS FOR ME i am going to have lasting trauma. i just gotta talk about it bc that’s how I deal with shit. don’t feel remotely obligated to read this i just. you know

got through all of Oma’s services and stuff fine today. I was really HEADACHE about it because it’s like, I’ve already been dealing with this shit for a few days and then having to deal with all the Newly Sad People coming in the room and just everything.

then everyone came back to the house and having that many people in my house was like. no!!!! i hate it. but it went alright and now i have food for quite some time lol so that’s fine

i’m going to go into details about what happened here slightly bc it was Rough and I just wanna. put it down somewhere

I found Oma on Friday morning in her bed and like, well, you don’t really know what to do with that situation. I had a feeling something was up when I saw the kitchen lights weren’t on, so. I texted my sister first but then immediately called 911. Shout out to the 911 guy, he taught me how to do CPR! even though it did nothing and was just kind of awful because I’d just had to move Oma to the floor. Also I hung up on him like 3 times because my face pushed the button but then I called him back each time. He was very cool about it. Thanks guy.

The first responders and police officers that came were all very kind. The one officer stayed with us for quite a while, she was really nice, eventually she got another call so she had to go. But they all sort of handled the situation, I was on the phone with my sister at that point until my SIL got to the house. The cops kept an eye on me but probably didn’t bother me much because I was on the phone with family.

Family started showing up, luckily my dad lives and works close so he arrived shortly after my SIL. I’ll slightly tldr this but like. The first responders left a huge box of Very Medical Supplies in the house and it was like !!! no thank you dfgjhsjghfdg. I didn’t go back in and see Oma after leaving the room when the responders arrived bc you know, bad! hate it.

Friday was a mess bc we spent time at the funeral home and like nobody wanted to leave me alone in the house which I get. Saturday my sister, SIL, and I went down to Brooklyn because my sister was seeing a show and SIL was going shopping so I went shopping too. I actually had a very great time shopping, the only real issue was that I was having very EXTREME, VIOLENT FLASHBACKS to the morning before, the ENTIRE fucking time.

I’m happy to report that the flashbacks are ALREADY better, I keep having them but they’re not having any real effect on me other than “ah, yeah, that happened”.

Sunday me and sister and SIL went out shopping for new things for the house. I replaced some things I’ve been wanting to replace for literal years lol... It’s a weird thing to be “excited” about because like... on one hand I’m really worried about how I’m going to actually be able to pay for everything. I can’t really survive in a WHOLE HOUSE by myself money-wise so I’ll probably definitely have to find at least one housemate. It’s just a matter of who and how because most of my friends live with significant others and whatnot. So idk if THEY’D be cool with that y’know.

But it’s only been a few days so I’m just like, trying to keep my head on my shoulders. I’m a pretty independent person in terms of Daily Existing so I’m used to doing stuff like housework and being by myself since Oma would go to bed early and I’m a night owl. I don’t have a ton of lingering regrets or anything, just a few, and I’m working through them. They’re not really eating at me so I think I’m doing okay so far.

This fucking sucks man but my family said they’ve got my back. I’ll be okay at least for a few months while things are figured out and that’s a long time. I really just wanna focus on enjoying my trip, and then worrying about other stuff later.

I think I am, so far, doing remarkably okay for someone who found a dead body of a family member 4 days ago and had to immediately go into Extreme Emergency Mode and had my entire life turned upside down aaahahahaha. I’m okay.

[thenightisland]

Tagged by @wicked-felina

What book are you currently reading?

i’m rereading robin hobb’s books, which i finished in december. i tried to read like five or six books, failed, and started rereading them ten days later. 

i’m also reading a collection of rupert brooke’s poetry. and a prayer for the crown-shy by becky chambers.

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

so i have auditory processing problems and over the years it’s gotten to where seeing movies in theaters largely isn’t enjoyable for me bc i miss so much. so i wait and watch movies at home where i can have subtitles (it’s too much of a fight to get them in theaters). on the rare occasion i see a movie in theaters it’s a book to movie adaptation bc well i already know what happens. so the last movie i saw in theaters was little women in 2019.

What do you usually wear?

stede bonnet would approve of my wardrobe. very colorful and extra. dresses 90% of the time.

How tall are you?

5′5″ish

What's your star sign?

libra

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

i am birthday buddies with olivia newton john and ts eliot.

Do you go by your name or a nickname? 

i go by my name bc idk what else to do tbh but my mother literally chose the name karen bc it was hard to turn into a nickname. little did she know i would live in the worst possible era to be named karen.

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

one of child-me’s most frequent answers to what do you want to be when you grow up was librarian, unsurprisingly. i decided to be mature and responsible in high school bc i wanted to be able to guarantee making enough money to live so i went into healthcare. little did i know i would end up living in the worst possible era to be a nurse.

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

i’m in my lol fuck that era where relationships and crushes are concerned 

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

sounds dumb to say but i’m good at organizing and cataloging things lol. i also have a green thumb and try to keep my yards as full of flowers and trees as possible. i am not crafty and i cannot cook to save my life (i have not turned on a stove or oven since 2015)

Dogs or cats?

i always grew up with both and only in the last year or two have just had a cat instead of at least one of each. cats are a little more practical for me and my lifestyle, but i love both equally.

What's something you'd like to create content for?

i’m fucking around with some robin hobb related stuff at the moment. we’ll see.

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

i am so sorry that so many of these answers include the name “robin hobb” in them BUT lol 

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

it’s early in the year yet so nothing has had the opportunity to significantly disappoint me. and to be disappointed in something you have to have had a shred of hope and expectation to begin with and i’m good at assuming the worst instead.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

most of my talents are known factors about me. the closest i come to a hidden one is that i sing, because i hate singing for people.

Are you religious?

i was raised catholic. i haven’t set foot in a church service since 2010 bc that was when i was no longer forced to go. catholicism never leaves you alone so despite the fact that i have not a shred of actual faith in me, no intention of having a relationship with god, and actively avoid religious services, i also still have an obscene number of rosaries and love to visit catholic churches when they’re empty for a sense of calm and peace and wear relevant medals of saints when i’m having a rough go of it, as if st cecilia can actually help me with my poetry block or musical struggles.

What's something you wish to have at this moment? 

i’d like to have my full vocal abilities back lol. i had covid in december and the symptoms lingered for about a month and i’ve only just recently started trying to get my singing voice back to where it was and it has been a goddamn ordeal after so many weeks of not singing.

tagging @tragediegh

[milascenta]

December 18th 12:10am

I was going to wait until Monday to post this after I had a bit more information on my situation, but I saw her last post and I wanted to post a quick one just to see if I can help her a bit. 

Those pictures you posted, just wow. Those views are so beautiful, I’m so proud of you for going to America for a MONTH too that’s insane. Your new tattoos are amazing, I love the bat one it’s so well done and beautiful, and something I would totally get hehe. I also like the otter, looks like a good boi. Your sister’s dog is gorgeous but omg I think I would step on her too with that rug ahah. And you, you look more beautiful than the last I saw you, I’m glad time was kind to one of us hehe. Thank you for posting pictures of yourself, I know its hard, its a bit weird for me, so I'm proud of you for doing it. That dress is so fucking goth and so fucking beautiful on you, I'm at a loss for words. I love your glasses, I don’t know how but they make your eyes look even more breathtaking. 

I’m so sorry you’ve been having a rough time recently. This time of the year finds ways to truly stress us out, regardless of it being the Christmas/holiday season. It’s unfair the people around weren’t being supportive and leaving you out of things. I hope that day is just an outlier and that it isn’t something that’s common for you. I know you’re strong enough to get through it, to rise above it, I truly believe that. Oh the cold sounds horrible without a way to heat up, I wish I could be there to help you, snuggle you up. Yeah shit is expensive right now hahaha. But that’s ok, it won’t always be, and money is just money. 

You’ve not left my mind either. I know the time I post this you might be getting ready for your Christmas party. I hope you have fun and get to let loose and relax. I’ll be thinking of you, so when you’re trying on your new dress and earrings I hope you feel more confident in them and go and beat the cold in it hehe. I’ve been able to see much of the moon recently. Too overcast at night, and it’s been setting quite early. But I’ll try and get a glimpse of it soon and think of you. 

I’ll post something larger on Monday, I’ve got a doctor appointment which should have more answers as to why I was in hospital a while ago, also I’ll explain more about that too. (Don’t worry nothing super serious, just blood clots lol)

I just hope you can sleep a bit more soundly at night, and have fun on Saturday. You deserve it. 

I think I see you down every fucking street..