#last time it was someone spraying an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF AXE BODY SPRAY

[thelivingdeceased]

if i had two nickels for every time i’ve had to evacuate a class due to an overwhelming smell i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice

[helliontherapscallion]

sibling hybrid!creeper reader headcannons/one-shot for SBI ( + ranboo? 🧍‍♀️ ) hurt/comfort. like maybe the reader struggles with emotions and doesn't know how to deal w/ them healthily, so they end up bottling them up and kinda explode at times.

sorry if this is too specific, i just really like your writing :) congrats on 1k!! <3

and one last thing,.. can i be 🫂 anon?

(A/N): I had a lot of fun with this one, and thank you : ) I hope you don’t mind that I added Tubbo. Also one more thing, I imagine the explosion is kinda like a Bakugou situation but uncontrollable

Warnings: anti-hybrid rhetoric/slurs (speciesism???), swearing, blood (not much, just mentions of a nose bleed)

It was completely an accident this time, it all just came so fast. You were standing in front of a store window when you felt something rub against your leg. When you looked down, panic engulfed your entire being when you saw an orange cat rubbing and nuzzling against your leg, letting out deep purrs. You had no clue why this cat wasn’t chasing you like all other cats usually did, but you didn’t want to ponder. You felt the familiar pressure building up inside of you as a startled hiss left your mouth and you jumped away from the creature. Your skin was sparking and popping as your freckles lit up in a glowing green light. 

Finally, explosions left your skin as the glass shattered next to you and gravel was turned up and thrown about. You fell to your knees and rubbed at your burning eyes and wiped the blood from your nose. Exploding like that had always taken a lot out of you and made your nose bleed. You suspected that it was because of the sudden build up and release of pressure and energy. 

The back of your shirt was grabbed and you were yanked off from the ground. There staring at you was the owner of the shop that you accidentally blew up. His green eyes were ablaze as he gritted his teeth and looked into your eyes.

“Do you have any idea what you just did?! You blew up my window!”

Small hisses left your mouth, “I-I’m sorry sir I swear I didn’t mean t-”

“Like hell you didn’t! Your kind always destroys everything!”

You stopped struggling and narrowed your eyes at him, “my kind?”

“Yes, hybrids! Filthy mutts, all you do is destroy! You’re a bunch of freaks.”

You could feel another explosion coming about and this time you did not even attempt to hold this one back. You stared him dead in the eyes with the harshest glare you could muster. As soon as the hisses started to leave your mouth and the freckles once again glowed green, the man’s eyes widened before he threw you into the street away from the building. Another explosion left you and disassembled the neat cobblestone of the road. A single stone flew and shattered what was left of the store window. Another flew and hit the store owner in the head knocking him out. 

And here you were now; hisses left your mouth as you ran down the beaten path of the village towards the exit. The iron golem following you was hot on your tail, it’s booming footsteps picking up dust clouds from the gravel. Villagers around you scattered and started to whisper fearfully amongst themselves. You could feel their fearful and angry stares burning holes through you. After you got out of the village and the iron golem was still chasing you, you ducked into the forest where you knew it wouldn’t follow you. You climbed up a tree and watched as the golem angrily smacked the foliage out of the way before it gave up and hobbled back into the village. 

You dragged your feet tiredly back home, wanting nothing more than to collapse in your bed. Your senses were on overdrive as you were hyper aware of everything around you. You’ve never exploded twice within the span of ten minutes before, and it wore you out. Small exhausted hisses left your mouth as you trudged along the path. 

After getting home you walked past a confused and concerned Wilbur, dodging his hands that were trying to grab you so he could get a better look at you. You walked up the stairs ignoring his questions and walked past Tommy.

“Hey sparky, what’s got you lookin like shit?” He asked you before he started to laugh to himself at the nickname he knew you hated. You winced at the volume of his voice before you hissed angrily and stomped off into your room before you passed out immediately in your bed the second you threw yourself onto it. 

You didn’t wake up until a hand shook you awake firmly. You peeled open your eyes to see Tommy hovering over you looking slightly scared. When you fully opened your eyes, he sighed in relief.

“Oh my fucking Ender, I thought you died for a second.”

You only groaned and covered your head with the covers trying to block out the morning light streaming into your room and Tommy’s voice. He shook you more, your entire bed shaking with it. “Get up. Dad wants you downstairs for breakfast cuz you skipped lunch and dinner.”

You said nothing as he ripped the covers off from you eventually and pulled you out of your bed. You landed on the floor with a thump and hissed a little in frustration. You stood up and pushed him out of your room and slammed the door behind him. The locked door handle jimmied before it stopped and everything was silent. You prayed that he went away, but alas he didn’t. You rubbed your forehead when he started to knock at your door in multiples of two.

Knock knock, “(y/n)?” Knock knock, “(y/n)?” Knock knock, “(y/n)?” Knock kno-

“I’ll be down in a minute fuckface. I’m gonna get dressed.”

“If you aren’t down in five minutes I’m getting Techno. He’ll carry your ass down.”

Downstairs, you shambled into the kitchen past the table and poured yourself a cup of coffee. Your family silently watched you before the conversation started back up again. You plopped down next to Wilbur and sipped at your coffee deliriously. He eyed you in concern, “you okay?” You hummed and poked at your eggs. You didn’t feel hungry at all. “You su-”

“Yes, I’m sure Wilbur.” You glanced at him from the corner of your eye and returned to your coffee. After your fourth cup of coffee you were cut off by a concerned Philza. Even after four cups of coffee, you still felt slightly physically drained and it showed in your sluggish movements. Your day went by with you holding in your frustration and anger from everybody constantly asking if you were okay. Days of holding in explosions passed with them finally leaving you alone. However, that did nothing to alleviate your bottled up frustrations.

Techno was sitting on the couch reading a book while Wilbur was sitting in the chair across the room trying to find the lyrics of his next song. Philza was in the kitchen doing who knows what. You were currently walking up to Tommy’s room to say hi to your old friends Tubbo and Ranboo after getting home from a trip to another village. 

That trip was rough for you but not as rough as the one a few days prior; you could only stand so much fear filled and hateful staring after all. Your creeper features consisting of pitch black irises and dark gray sclera, a mop of dark green hair, and green freckles sprayed randomly across your skin was definitely an attention grabber for anyone. A few of the kids even threw rotten tomatoes and stones at you, it was so hard holding in explosions by the time you left that you just felt very overwhelmed. Hanging out around the self proclaimed ‘bench trio’ always enough to calm you down from a rough day. Mellohi’s muffled relaxed beat makes the corners of your lips twitch into a small smile. 

However just as you opened the door to Tommy’s room, you could hear their conversation end. “Hey guys, how’re-”

A yelp left your throat as something very cold drenched your body. An iron bucket came tumbling down and hit your head before falling to the floor with a clank. The pressure that has been building up in your chest increased tenfold, but you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to walk to your room for a change of clothes. Behind you, you heard Tommy laughing hysterically while Tubbo tried to apologize between his own laughter. You didn’t even have to look at Ranboo to know that he was guiltily fiddling with his sleeves as his tail flicked back and forth sharply. 

After you went into your room, you grabbed your pillow and screamed as loud as you could into it to blow off some steam. After that didn’t work, you tried punching the pillow relentlessly but that didn’t work. You could still feel pressure and energy inside your chest lingering and threatening to burst. 

You sighed and made your way downstairs walking past Tommy’s door. You could now hear Ranboo laughing with them, and that just made you even more angry than you were before. 

Everything around you was pissing you off. Philza’s wings fluttering behind him subconsciously, Technoblade’s little ‘heh’’s as he read something that caught him off guard in his book, Wilbur’s humming and mumbling to himself as he composed his next song, Tommy’s, Ranboo’s, and Tubbo’s loud laughter echoing from Tommy’s room. Every little sound was enough to send you over the edge. Just as you were about to leave the house to calm down again, a knock sounded at the door.

Philza gently pushed you behind him with furrowed brows and a hand on the sword hung around his hip. Techno’s book snapped shut as he stood up to grab his axe while Wilbur walked over to you and put a protective hand on your shoulder. You understood why they were cautious; you didn’t normally get visitors and the last time the house did, it was someone that decided to try and attack Technoblade on sight when he opened the door screaming about how hybrids aren’t natural. Keyword: tried. Techno absolutely would’ve killed him if it wasn’t for Philza holding him back. 

You felt anxiety creep up inside you as you fought against the small hisses trying to escape your mouth. The door opened slowly to reveal the store owner from a few days ago. His eyes hardened when he saw the wings sprouting from Philza’s back before his eyes flicked to you. He did not look happy to see you behind your dad’s massive wings. Without another word, you turned and ran up to your room when you felt the pressure become almost unbearable. 

You ran past Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo who were leaving Tommy’s room with hesitance. You didn’t respond when they tried to stop you. Slamming your door closed, you sat on your bed with your head clutched in your hands desperately trying to fight against the pressure building up. Small pops sounded on your skin as you grit your teeth in concentration. You could hear knocking at your door, thank god you locked it behind you. You had no idea how long you were sitting there trying to hold it back.

When the pressure became too much and you felt yourself losing grip on your control, you knew you needed to get out of the house as soon as possible. This was going to be a huge explosion, probably the biggest one you were going to do. The loud continuous hiss that left your throat was something you weren’t actively doing, another telltale sign that you were about to explode. You ripped open the door, pulled yourself from Tommy’s grasp, and ran as fast as you could downstairs. Philza followed you with a furious expression when he saw you, the store owner seemingly having left. 

“(Y/n), what in the hell did you do?” He grabbed your arm and pulled you to the living room. You tried your hardest to pull out of his grasp, but he was holding on too tight. The hissing had gotten slightly louder, but you moved a hand up to your mouth to try and muffle it. He sat you down on the couch and started pacing in front of you, his feathers puffed up angrily. Wilbur and Techno were eyeing you warily from across the room. 

“What were you thinking, blowing up his store like that? Were you even thinking? Cuz that was stupid (y/n). Hybrids get enough bad rap, and you go and pull this?!”

“Dad-”

“Not now Wilbur. As I was saying, you could’ve killed someone! What would you do then-”

“Dad,” Techno’s assertive tone stopped Philza in his tracks as he ran a hand down his face. “What could you possibly want right now, boys?”

“(Y/n)’s gonna explode soon.” Wilbur hurried over to you and helped you up. You could hear the three younger boys’ steps thundering down the stairs. By now, you were visibly shaking and sweating with the effort of holding explosions back. You could see the glowing of your freckles through the reflection of Wilbur’s glasses. 

“Shit,” Philza sounded panicked in that moment as Wilbur ushered you out of the house and into the forest. You pushed him away and stumbled your way deeper into the forest. You heard them attempting to follow you, but you gestured for them to get back. You had no idea how big this one was going to be, but it was definitely going to be large. 

You ran deeper into the forest until you couldn’t hold it back anymore. Leaning against a tree, you finally let yourself explode. This one was painful; your skin burned with every pop that emanated from your freckles, the burning making your free nerve endings scream at you. The last thing you saw was a wave of dirt splashing up before you blacked out. 

You were in and out of consciousness for the next week or so. Whenever you would wake up slightly, it would only be for a couple moments before you would pass out again. It was in those moments that the pain and the lack of energy hit you at full force. You supposed being unconscious was better than the mental and physical fog and the pain. 

By the time you fully woke up, your senses were slightly hyperactive, but nowhere near how you felt when you blew up that store. You reached up with a heavy hand to wipe at your crusty eyes before you heard rustling next to you. You looked over to see Philza standing at the door with a glass of water in his hand. When he saw that you were awake, he rushed to your side and helped you sit up. You took the water gratefully and drank it, the liquid refreshed your dry throat. 

“How’re you feeling?” 

“Tired and a little sore. How long was I out for?”

“About a week, you really worried us. That was a really big one. Do you know why it was so big?”

You nodded and looked down at the water in your hands, swirling it around the glass. You didn’t want to tell him about feeling angry and overwhelmed at every little thing around you the past few days. You felt guilty at that, they were just trying to live their lives while you were cursing them for merely existing. A finger under your chin made you look up at Philza. His eyes were full of gentleness and empathy, “c’mon, you can tell me. I want to help you.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Start wherever you feel comfortable. Take as much time as you need.” He sat on the edge of your bed and looked around your room while he waited. You took a second to gather your thoughts before you took a deep breath. Philza perked up and diverted his full attention to you. 

“It started when I first blew up that guy’s store. I swear it was an accident that time, a cat snuck up on me and rubbed on me,” you shuddered, small hisses leaving your mouth. “The guy came out and picked me up by my shirt. He called us some names so I kinda got mad and blew up on purpose.”

“‘Us’?”

You nodded, “hybrids. He said that ‘our kind’ destroys everything.” You glared at the glass in your hands, hissing in contempt and watching the freckles dully glow green. “He called us ‘filthy mutts’ and freaks, Dad.” Philza looked slightly peeved at the name calling, “still, you shouldn’t’ve blown up on him. You could’ve killed him, (y/n).”

“So you’re saying that it’s okay for him to call us slurs? Should we just let people slander us?” You narrowed your eyes at him. He shook his head, his medium length blond hair swaying with the movement. “Hell no, I’m not saying that at all. You should never let someone call you things, but violence is never the answer.”

You huffed, crossing your arms, “frankly, he deserved what was coming to him. I just wish he didn’t throw me before I could blow up.” 

“Hold on, he fucking threw you?” You nodded and watched his eyes darken and anger flash across his face, “violence is sometimes the answer then. Did he hurt you?” 

“No, but I just felt so… so drained. But so overwhelmed at the same time. I’ve never exploded twice in the same day before.”

He hummed in realization, “so that’s why you slept through most of the day. Sorry, go on.”

“After Tommy woke me up everything just felt worse. It was like everything around me was amplified. It was hell, the last few days I was just hyper aware of everything and it was pissing me off. Every little thing drove me crazy, I could feel myself getting closer and closer to exploding but I held it back until I couldn’t anymore.” 

“(Y/n), you know that’s not healthy… I talked to Sam, you remember right?” You shook your head, “well, he was an old friend of Wilbur’s. He used to come here all the time before he had to move away. He’s a creeper hybrid like you,” he chuckled when you perked up, “he gave me some advice on your anatomy when you were growing up. Anyways, he told me that sensory overload is common when you explode. He said that it’s normal to feel drained afterwards and to definitely get plenty of sleep. The sensory issues apparently get worse if your rest is interrupted, so that was probably why you felt overwhelmed in the past few days… He also told me that it really isn’t healthy to explode more than once a day or to hold it in for longer than necessary. Please just come to me if you’re feeling overwhelmed again or if you need to rest after exploding. I can even build you an obsidian building where you could go and not blow up anything.”

“...I’d like that. What- what else did he tell you?” Philza chuckled and started to tell you more about what Sam told him about his anatomy. He even gave you Sam’s comms contact so you could contact him if you had any questions or wanted some advice. He was a nice man when you talked to him, always having an answer for your questions. You even found old pictures of you as a baby following him around. Apparently you could tell that he was part creeper; wherever he was in the house, you were bound to be near him.

The rest of the day, you hung out with the rest of your family and the bench trio. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno wasn’t one for open affection, being the type to give you little trinkets and giving you suggestions on what to read next. Every time you woke up, you would find small objects ranging from gold to emeralds and books on your nightstand. He would vehemently deny being the one that gave you the items, but you and the rest of the family knew better. Sometimes, he would drop into your room to ask you what you thought of the book and have a thorough discussion about it with you while you were recovering. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You leaned against Wilbur’s side with his arm wrapped around you. The hand that was around you was rubbing circles into your shoulder. After he scolded you for bottling up your emotions, he climbed into your bed and pulled you to his side. Small hums left his throat. 

“(Y/n)?” You hummed, your eyes half lidded and almost about to fall asleep. “Would you mind if I wrote a song about you? It would fit with the next album’s theme.” 

“Knock yourself out.” Your words were slightly slurred as you nuzzled closer to him. He laughed a bit, the sound being muffled and reverberating his chest. “Get some sleep. I’ll brainstorm some ideas to run by you before you wake up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanging out with the self proclaimed ‘bench trio’ was always fun, even if you were on strict orders to stay in bed by Dadza. Nobody argues with a concerned Dadza, but they found other ways to hang out with you. Tommy had moved his jukebox into your room and was playing cat, the music soothing you immensely and putting an end to your worries. However, what didn’t soothe you was the card game in front of you. 

You were watching in horror as everybody put down a plus two card stacking the amount the victim would have to draw. So far, the plus two streak had already gone around the circle once and is now going around once more. It was nearing your turn and it was with great horror that you realized you didn’t have a color changing card or a plus two card. The two cards in your hand felt heavy as you watched Ranboo pull out another card.

“Please Ranboo, I’ll do anything. Don’t put that card down.” You watched as his ears twitched before he smiled innocently at you, putting the card down and laughing at you when you started the long process of drawing fourteen cards and sorting them. 

“Sorry, my hand slipped.”

“Get fucked (y/n)!” Tommy cackled at you. You flipped him off before you went back to sorting the cards. Tubbo put down a plus four color changing card and smiled at Tommy. 

“Sorry Tommy, but uno and the color is now red!”

“Goddamnit Tubbo! That’s the one color I don’t have,” he grumbled and drew four cards. Ranboo smiled triumphantly and put down his last card before showing you his empty hands. “What?! You didn’t even say uno!” You eyed his smug smile with disbelief. 

“You guys didn’t call me on it though.”

“That’s not the rules, Ranboo! You have to say uno!” Tommy argued. Long story short, the rules had to be looked up and the family had to be consulted before your group came to the conclusion that you in fact do not have to call out uno and the other players could call them out on it. Eventually after a few tense games, the three were sitting on your bed. Ranboo had some difficulty with it due to his height, but he managed with his legs crossed. 

“(Y/n) do you reckon you could become charged if you were hit by lightning?”

“Tubbo, you’re a genius,” Tommy breathed out, “let’s go see!” 

“No, you will not go see. Sit back down.” Wilbur called out as he passed your room. The group slumped slightly. “We’ll see when I get better. Mark my words, the next thunderstorm that happens I will see if I can be charged.” You whispered to them, your eyes glinting with mischief. 

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea.”

“Of course it is, Ranboo. It probably won’t kill them.”

“Probably?” Ranboo raised an eyebrow at Tommy’s nonchalant answer. “Yes, probably.”

“I still have three lives left. If I die, I die.” You wove a hand in the air as you spoke and watched as Tubbo nodded in agreement. “Do it for science, (y/n).”

“Oh I will. For science!” You raised your water glass in the air and Tommy and Tubbo followed suit with wide smiles. “For science!”

You three turned to stare at a deadpanning Ranboo. He sighed before he raised his glass of milk and let out a monotone “for science.” You, Tommy, and Tubbo cheered as you clanked your glasses together. You could see a hint of a fond smile on Ranboo’s face as he watched you three chug your waters before he downed his milk in one swallow. 

You smirked at them and leaned close, talking lowly so that anyone passing by wouldn’t overhear you. “So, what’s our plan?”

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[filmfanatic82]

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 10: O (III)

This is bad.

Skin-crawling bad.

Octavia shrinks even further back into the wall, wishing more than ever at that moment that she had an invisibility cloak. Or at least the ability to camouflage herself. To just blend right into the hideous patterned wallpaper behind her and disappear out of sight.

She’s been nursing the same red solo cup of Monty Juice for the last twenty minutes now. It’s lukewarm and barely tolerable at best, but it’s the only option. Octavia has never developed a liking for beer all that much and the one time she ventured into the wide world of shots, she wasn’t able to leave the bathroom floor for well over 14 hours.

And being sober isn’t a choice. Not tonight. Not when she is all but suffocating in her own skin.

Octavia takes another sip and instantly flinches as it burns its way down her throat. She can feel the alcohol coursing through her veins, dulling the painful itch as it does. Not ideal but it’ll do the job.

“Baby Blake!”

Octavia shudders at the sound of the nickname.

That fucking nickname…

The one that no matter what she says or does, she can’t get people to stop using. Even now, after Bellamy has graduated and moved all the way across the country, is still everyone’s go-to way of referring to her. She isn’t a pig-tailed clad little kid anymore. And is in no way, shape, or form anything like her older brother.

Octavia down yet another gulp of the Monty Juice as she spots John Murphy emerging from the vast cesspool of raging hormones and Axe body spray. He makes a beeline straight for her, flashing a Joker-style smile as he does.

“Hi, Murphy,” Octavia mutters.

Murphy leans in, invading every single inch of Octavia’s personal space and clinks his half-empty beer bottle against her cup in a pseudo cheers. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

Octavia gives the tiniest of shrugs in response. She curls her body inwards as the itch begins to grow again. There’s no fucking escape.

“Does your big brother know you’re here?”

“He’s still at college,” Octavia replies, with a little more confidence to her voice.

“How about Clarke?”

“Who’d you think I came with?” Octavia shifts to the left, only to have Murphy match her move. His smile grows wider, fueled solely by the half dozen beers he has already consumed.

“Ouch. Hostile much?” Murphy takes a long swig of his beer, downing the rest the bottle with one definitive swallow. ”And here I was all happy that you finally graced us with your presence.”

“I’ve been to your house before, Murphy.”

Murphy moves even closer as his eyes slowly scan over every inch of Octavia’s body. “I’ve seen that before.”

“What are you talking about”? Octavia squirms under Murphy’s drunken gaze. Her hands unconsciously drift toward the frayed hem of her henley t-shirt. Bell’s Led Zeppelin henley. His most beloved shirt. The one that he practically lived in during his high school years… The one that Octavia had conveniently snagged from his duffle bag the last time he was home from college and then swore up and down for weeks that she had no clue where it was.

“That shirt. I’ve seen it before. It’s not yours, is it?” Murphy takes a moment studying Octavia's outfit with a heightened level of scrutiny. “It’s Bellamy’s. And the jeans too… Why the hell are you wearing his shit?”

Octavia’s skin practically bursts into flames as the itch morphs into a full-blown burn. She needs a way out. A way out of the situation... Out of the party… And most importantly, out of the person, everyone perceives her to be.

“I… Uh…”

Before Octavia can utter another word, a firm hand juts seemingly out of nowhere, instantly creating a barrier between herself and Murphy.

“You’re drunk, Murphy,” Raven says as she forcefully shoves Murphy away from Octavia and then positions herself in between the two of them.

“So?” Murphy fires back with an extra bite to his voice.

“So that means you need to go scurrying back under whatever rock you came from and leave O alone.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna tell Big Blake that you were harassing his little sister and we both know that means he’ll more than kick your scrawny ass the next time he’s home.”

“Whatever, Reyes.” Murphy shakes his head in an attempt to shrug off the threat, but there’s a lingering fear hidden within his eyes. He starts to head back towards the sea of people but at the last minute decides to give them one final sneer. “No wonder Finn dumped your ass.”

These words grab Octavia’s full attention as her mind shifts into overdrive.  

Finn dumped Raven…

Who would dump Raven?

It’s Raven Reyes.

Raven’s a one in a million type of person. There are hundreds of people who would die for the chance to date her… Why would Finn…

Octavia catches a glimpse of Raven’s face out of the corner of her eye and for the first time spots an unsureness there. It’s faint, just hiding beneath the surface, but nonetheless it’s there.

And suddenly, Octavia is hit with the overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around the taller Latina and provide her with all the comfort and reassurance that she can muster up.

There has to be a reason.

It’s Raven.

“You alright?” Raven asks turning back towards Octavia.

“Yeah… I guess…” Octavia replies as she self-consciously adjusts her shirt.

“Hey.” Raven reaches out and ever so gently nudges Octavia’s chin upward with her fingertips until they are eye to eye with one another. A warm smile spreads across Raven’s face. “Don’t let Murphy get to you, okay? You look freakin’ hot.”

Octavia can’t help but match Raven with a smile of her own. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Without a doubt. You’re the second hottest person here, Blake.”

“Second?” Octavia asks with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

“Well, naturally I’m the first. But you’re a pretty damn close second.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Octavia shakes her head in amusement. She takes another swig from her cup and attempts to hide the immediate grimace from the after taste.

Raven snatches the cup out of Octavia’s hand and inspects it. “Monty Juice? You seriously shouldn’t be drinking this shit.”

“Why? Cause I’m too young?”

“No, cause it’s one step up from chugging lighter fluid.” Raven sets it down on a nearby table and then proceeds to take hold of Octavia’s hand. Before Octavia can process what’s going on, she finds herself being led through the crowd by Raven.

“Hey. Where are we--” Octavia trails off, too preoccupied with having to zigzag through the dense, sweaty crowd to finish her sentence. But she doesn’t need to. A second later, Raven makes a sharp left, straight towards a non-conspicuous door and without any explanation whatsoever, pulls them both inside of it.

“What is this place?” Octavia asks as she collects her bearings and takes a good look around. By first glance, the room appears to to be a study of sorts with large leather furniture and floor to ceiling bookcases.

Raven makes a beeline for the farthest bookcase and starts to finger the books, clearly looking for something specific. “This is the off-limits room. Or, as your sister and I discovered last year, the place where Murphy’s folks hide the good stuff.”

Raven pulls on a book and the entire shelf swings open to reveal and a hidden array of expensive looking bottles of alcohol. She snatches some nearby glass tumblers, then grabs a half-full bottle of whiskey and pours two generous portions.

“But won’t they know someone’s been in here?” Octavia asks as she takes one of the glasses from Raven.

Raven gives a shrug of the shoulders. “Murphy’s problem. Not ours. Besides, if you’re gonna drink, it might as well be high-quality shit and not one of Monty’s concoctions.”

A comfortable silence falls between the two of them as they settle down next to one another on the leather couch, bodies naturally entwining like headphone cords.

“Rae?”

“Yeah?” Raven asks taking a long sip of whiskey.

“Did you mean what you said? About my outfit. That I look… look hot?”

Raven lets a playful chuckle slip out. “Second hottest.”

“Raven…”

Raven sits up a bit at the underlying tone of vulnerability in Octavia’s voice. She places her drink down as her natural smirk melts away into a look of pure and utter honesty. “God O, you don’t see it, do you?”

An oddly comforting chill shoots down Octavia’s spine as Raven’s words ricochet around the confines of her mind. “See what?”

“You,” Raven states with such a simple yet strong conviction. “The real you.”

Suddenly… Octavia can’t breathe. It’s as if her lungs have all but forgotten how to function. All she can manage to do is stare at Raven’s all-knowing smile as millions of thoughts fight for dominance in the forefront of her consciousness.  

Raven knows about it.

But how?

How can Raven know when she isn’t even 100% sure of what “it” really is?

Just as a wave of panic starts to crash down upon Octavia, she feels Raven’s hands delicately cup her cheeks and her thumb brush away the stray tear that has appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

“Rae, I--”

“Raaaaaaaaveeeeeen! Where are yooooouuuuu? We’re up on the table, and I need my most favoritest beer pong partner!” Clarke’s tipsy voice cuts through the stillness of the room, instantly pulling both Raven and Octavia back into reality.

Octavia straightens herself up and quickly wipes the hint of tears from her eye. “Sounds like party girl Griffin has made an appearance.”

“God help us all,” Raven responds with a laugh. She gets up off of the couch and then extends her hand to Octavia, pulling her up to her feet with the greatest of ease. “C’mon. Let’s go before Griffin gets up close and personal with Señor Cuervo.”

Octavia puts her drink down and follows Raven back out of the room, never once letting go of her hand.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Octavia Marie Blake! What in God’s name are you doing in here?”

O startles awake as the sound of Abby’s whisper of a yell as it cut through the silence of the room. They instantly shudder with discomfort.

That name.

That’s not their name.

It hasn’t been their name for a long time now.

But not that it matters. No why would it? Those things never seem to matter. Not to the woman they have come to consider a second mother.

“Hi, Mom,” O whispers back. They push their body back up into the rigid hospital chair and rub their hands over the back of their head, trying to shake the sleep away.

Abby looms in the doorway without a trace of readable emotions upon her face. She stares at O for what seems like an eternity and then--

“Where the hell have you been.”

“Here.”

“I’m not joking, Octavia,” Abby fires back. She takes a step into the room, making sure to shut the door behind her as she does and then locks eyes with O.

And all O can do is shrink back into the confines of the chair, wanting nothing more than to disappear into nothingness… Maybe even from existence all together.   

“Three weeks! Three weeks I’ve been looking for you. No texts. No calls. Not even an email to say you’re alive… And then… Then, I have to find out from Lincoln that you’ve not only moved out of your apartment, but you also up and dropped out of school?”

“Mom, I--”

“No. Don’t give me another one of your half-ass excuse, Octavia. I’m sick of it… All of it. You clearly don’t give a damn about your life or your future,” Abby cuts O off, raising her voice now to full volume.

“Mom, you don’t--”

“Don’t want? Huh, Octavia? Don’t understand? Oh, I more than understand. You’ve had a death wish ever since… And what the hell did you do to your hair?! You look--”

“They look freakin’ hot,” a voice croaks out, thick and raspy. It grabs hold of O, like a much-needed shot of hope straight into the depth of their darkened heart.

And suddenly…

They can breathe again.

“Rae?” O whips around and instantly spots Raven’s chocolate brown eyes staring back at them.

“The one and only,” Raven responds with a hint of her trademark smirk. It’s apparent that she’s in pain, but attempts to mask it nonetheless.

“Raven, honey. How are you feeling?” Abby instantly shifts into doctor mode, moving straight towards Raven and begins to check her vitals.

“Like I was hit by a car.” Raven winces from the poking and prodding as she actively fights back the tears that are forming in the corner of her eyes.

“Funny.”

“Oh, I’m hysterical. Thought you knew that?”

Abby shakes her head in sheer disbelief. “I’m going to go get Dr. Jackson so we can to a more thorough exam, but in the meantime, do you need anything?”

“Drugs,” Raven answers a little too quickly.

“Coming right up.” Abby gives her a lovingly squeeze on the shoulder and then turns her attention back towards O. “And you… I’m not done with you. Got it? You are to go nowhere. You hear me, Octavia?”

“Mama G?” Raven calls out. “Can you do me one more thing?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

“Stop calling them Octavia. That’s not their name,” Raven says as she flashes O an all-knowing smirk.  

Another shot.

This time its love.

It explodes into their heart, radiating a long-forgotten sense of warm and total acceptance throughout every inch of their very being.

Raven.

It’s always been Raven.

The one person who has seen them all along.

Thrown off guard, Abby’s eyes briefly ping-pong between O and Raven, waiting for some sort of follow-up explanation, but only receives silence in return. She lets out a frustrated sigh and then starts to head back out of the room. “I’m going to go talk to the nurse and see if I can get you another round of pain meds.”

The door shuts behind Abby, leaving O and Raven alone together, eyes locked in, studying every inch… every hint of conflicting emotions. It’s intense yet strangely comforting.

“Hi,” O whispers, voice quivering.

“Hi, O.” Raven pauses for a moment, almost as if she’s internally debating her next words and then her smirk widens into a heart-warming smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you… The real you.”

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode one: i have opinions on greek yogurt

So they had to go and start this season by salting the wound of Becca and Arby’s breakup, didn’t they?

Welcome back to Romance vs. Reality, I’m your lead and only blogger, Amanda. Kill me now, we’re here for the fourteenth go-around of La Bachelorette, a carousel made up of social media participants and erectile dysfunction specialists. Our princess this season is Becca Kufrin, a last name I struggle with for no specific reason other than I just feel like I’m emphasizing the wrong syllable. Coming after Rachel, The First Black Bachelorette and Resident Queen Regnant of this blog1, and her, well, disaster of a season, I’m terrified.

I’m going to do a full analysis of our Mantestants later on, but I’ll put it frankly: I am not excited. I am newly single, and man. Pickings are slim out there. It’s dangerous waters, y’all. And I live in a city of like, seven million people. I can understand now why people find the first person they can in high school and piss on their legs for forty years2. Becca, however, dodged a bullet in this case, because Arby remains and always will be human trash. Oscar the Grouch literally lives in a trash can and is looking to get rehomed because of the association, maybe somewhere not on Sesame Street.

Arby’s legacy has impacted Sesame Street. And Oscar the Grouch is notorious for loving trash. I mean... same? But I do not love Arby. Arby is the human embodiment of Garbage Island, the island that is floating in the Pacific Ocean, collecting all of our plastic bottles and general other garbage and polluting our waters. Honestly to call Arby garbage isn’t ruthless enough. It doesn’t get the point across. Even calling him Arby, a restaurant that probably doesn’t deserve such a harsh association, feels cruel.

Arby is rubbish.

I mean, I know a lot of things about myself, but:

And Arby is the Standard of Trash To Which I Now Hold All Men. I will be ranking the men this season on the Rubbish Arby Scale.

Note: I am not even a full minute into the episodea, and I have a lot of feelings.

We have to relive the torturous final moments of Becca and Rubbish Arby’s relationship again, because ABC is basically going to milk this moment for everything it’s worth. We see Becca walking through some snow, searching for her future or whatever metaphor the powers that be are going after this season. She thought she had found her future, but nope! That future is off getting married to the human embodiment of an unflavored Fage Yogurt3. Becca is ready to find love because her parents were in love until her dad’s untimely death and guess what? It’s her turn now.

My favorite part of every season is the girls who are like, “I can’t believe I’m The Bachelorette? All I had to do was unleash a ton of my personal trauma on national television and ABC will pay me to wear sequin dresses and shank dudes’ hearts now!” I do love that Arby is actually banned from Minnesota, though. I mean, I don’t think he’s running to go to Minnesota any time soon, but the fewer options Arby has to spread his rubbish sludge, the better. We see Becca go through her Bachelorette Photoshoot4 and show how she’s a Strong Woman in both demeanor and physical strength at a acrobatic silks class.

I’m tentative.

Becca arrives at The Bachelor Mansion, where our three past Bachelorettes, all engaged but none married, are waiting for her with mimosas. Honestly, I would like to hang out with these three girls. Rachel and I could just... you know, be black together and I would ask Joelle about home design and Kaitlyn and I could dance. Tag me in, Becca. TAG ME IN. Rachel tells Arby to go fuck himself and basically is a queen the entire time. They all rave about the experience and how great it was for all of them - take away the fantasy and really consider real life. Rachel and Joelle talk about the fact that the women have a better track record on The Bachelorette (true) because they approach the situation with more nuance than the men do. And that’s true. To me, the men of The Bachelor are looking for someone to project their dreams onto, and the women are approaching it with a real sense of opportunity.

Rachel proceeds to sage the entire mansion, Becca’s ring finger, her vagina, and they’re never going to get rid of the stench of toxic masculinity, Axe body spray, and desperation. That’ll be there forever. That's in the fibers of the couches.

Okay, let’s talk about Becca’s first night dress. I know people are divided on it, but I think it’s a banger, okay? I mean, I wish it wasn’t ivory, but the all overbeadwork and the art-deco style is gorgeous. I also love the neckline, because Becca has great shoulders. The pairing of that with those dramatic teardrop earrings was stunning. It sparkles in the light, it’s a dress meant to be on television, not caught in a still shot.

LET’S MEET THE MEAT, SHALL WE?

First up is Clay, who is 30, and is a pro football player. Great, because now I have to worry about you getting CTE and argue with you about standing for the national anthem? Oh, Clay played for Detroit, though. I can’t be mad at him. Also, CLAY IS A DREAMBOAT. We see him at dinner with his family and his cute grandma. Clay is there For Becca, for sure.

We met Garrett, who starts with a Chris Farley impression. In 2018. A Chris. Farley. Impression. Chris Farley’s corpse is turning over and over and over in his grave. Oh my god, of course Garrett is from Reno. Reno gives me such Second City vibes. Not like the improv group, but like, the city you go to when you don’t have anywhere else to go, like Cincinnati or Tallahassee. Garrett is active because of course, but he wants a companion to do outsidey things with.

Oh god, we meet Jordan, who is 26, and a professional model. I already am going to safely call him this season’s Robb(ie). Jordan is the kind of guy who’s hot in certain lights but then other times you’re like “man, give some chin to other people!” He has a lot of chin, and his meticuliously carved “scruff” isn’t helping matters much. Oh god. Jordan starts out talking about his Brand, a phrase I only say ironically. I am literally shaking with rage. Jordan’s an unironic Derek Zoolander. He considers having to be tan and using salt spray to be “taxing”. He’s excited for once to finally be focusing on someone else for a change, and all he wants to do is sit on a couch with a box of chocolates with Becca in sweatpants and watch a chick flick. Jordan claims a lot of models don’t do that.

Someone want to notify Jordan that a good number of male models are gay men who would definitely do that? Anyone?

Next up is Lincoln, who we’ve already met on After The Final Rose. Lincoln is from Nigeria and he’s #blessed to be in the United States. He’s ready to get married and ready to settle down. That’s all. Boring. Joe From Chicago owns a grocery store, and as soon as this comes out of his mouth I’m in love with him. My full on Type is Man from Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store. Joe’s ready to settle down and knows when he finds the right one, he’ll know.

Jean-Blanc comes on screen and I can hear my mom yelling “THIS IS YOUR HUSBAND AMANDA” from the six-hundred-something miles away that she is. Jean-Blanc collects “accoutrements”, and oh my god, my mom might be right. Jean-Blanc likes stuff. Watches, ties, cologne, all the extra shit no one really needs but it’s nice to have. I mean, I hate wearing perfume, but if a man can find a blend that works for him and isn’t overpowering? Great. Dope. Totally down. We see him opening Viktor & Rolf’s Spice Bomb, a Curve cologne??? And others from the Checkout Aisle From Marshalls and TJMaxx Collection. He’s going to “blow her nose away”, a phrase I’m shocked Jordan didn’t use because you knnnnnnoooow Jordan loves a little nose candy. Sorry, it’s true.

Colton is another football player so this season is full of men with experience getting concussions. Also, can we stop making men named Colton football players? Colton got injured in his last season, so he decided to give up football forever and now runs a charity to change the lives of cystic fibrosis sufferers. Okay, I can’t even talk shit. Damn charity.

Becca heads in the limo to meet Chris Harrison and the 29 other garbage men that will create the Advent Calendar of Regret that is The Bachelorette. Chris Harrison is on screen for the perfect amunt of time - like, thirty seconds, before our first limo full of mediocrity arrives. First out? Charitable Colton, who is firmly placed in the top two, officially. He wants to celebrate Becca being bachelorette and brought confetti poppers, which is actually not the worst initial interaction for these two people to have. It’s actually... cute?

God, help me.

We meet Grant, who both tells Becca he respects her for what she’s gone through but also wants her to forget all of it - way to help with THAT, Grrrrrant. Clay comes out and talks about football and makes a football pun and is cute and everything. Jean Blanc has a French name and teaches Becca some French, which is a mess. Of course, he has her translate “Let’s do the damn thing”, and god I hope it’s the last time we hear that this season, but that’s not true. Connor is a fitness coach and gets down on one knee in front of Becca. Don’t retrigger the girl.

Oh god, not even two mintes after I said I never wanted to hear “let’s do the damn thing”, here comes Connor with it all over again. God damn this show.

Another limo arrives and out comes Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery. He immediately forgets what he has to say as soon as he sees Becca and JOE I WILL TAKE YOU. John walks the wrong way into the house, and Leo arrives looking like he was trying to do a Miss Geist from Clueless costume and forgot to do his hair before leaving the house. It is not a good look, I literally slid to the ground and cackled when he came out5. He proceeds to take his hair down and swish it around like he’s fucking Fabio.

Jordan comes out of the limo and Becca says hi, and he doesn’t respond. Because that is the kind of person Jordan is. He’s the kind of man who wants to say hello first. Jordan wasn’t expecting Becca to be wearing ivory, which is just a weird thing to say. His shoes are loud as fuck, too. Jordan spent six hours on his outfit and is like, “I’m wearing a grey suit, it’s daring.”

No, Obama wearing a khaki suit is daring. Klein Epstein and & Parker Suits are daring. A heather grey suit with a blue tie is like putting a jalapeno in your guacamole. You’re not exactly living on the edge.

Nick arrives dressed like a racecar driver because only assholes wear outfits like that. Nick is... god, I can’t figure out if Nick is hot or not. I do appreciate Leo being ike, “yeah, reminding this girl of her ex? NOT A GOOD LOOK.”

So of course Mike, the other long-haired dude with a fucking man bun in god damn 2018, comes in with a cardboard cut-out of Becca’s ex. STOP TRIGGERING THIS WOMAN. That isn’t charming, that’s weird. I didn’t look up my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends until like, a solid year into our relationship. I mean, it wasn’t the same way on his end6 but I think if I were to lead this show I’d specifically ask them NOT to mention my ex, if possible. Like, at all.

Garrett arrives in a minivan, and it’s full of soccer balls and a baby bag and he’s just trying to set the correct tone. I literally sat grimacing the entire time he was on screen. I hate Garrett already.

My second favorite part of the season premiere is the men being like “wow, there’s a lot of dudes here”. What did y’all expect?

Blake arrives on an... ox? After already meeting Becca with a horse at After The Final Rose? Becca’s right in wondering where he’s getting all of these animals from. I feel bad for the poor intern that needs to take care of Blake’s animals. Lincoln, the other guy who met Becca at After the Final Rose, and he brought Becca cake. Lincoln and Blake are both feeling confident because they’ve already met her before. We see a bunch of other dudes we’ve met before - Darius, Chase, Banjoist Ryan. The 24 other guys are intimidated because clearly they have some sort of leg up in the competition because they’ve been with her for ten seconds four months ago. I’m sure Darva Conger would agree with them that this is a solid grounding to form bonds over. It ended so well for her.

They basically show all the black guys back to back and a bunch of other nonfactors meeting Becca.

And then there’s Kamil, who is wearing sneakers with his suit and his job is “social media participant” which is effectively like putting “Air Breather” as your job in 2018. He only walks halfway to Becca and makes her come the other half to meet him, and then moves back further and is like “yeah, what about 60/40?” And honestly, this is the best depiction of heterosexual dating in 2018 I’ve ever seen and Kamil is literally telling Becca Who He Is in their initial interaction. 60/40, my ass. Becca is unamused by this and tries to turn it around on him, and he won’t engage.

Ya donzo, Social Media Participant.

Jake shows up, and Becca knows who he is. He’s an acquaintance and she’s confused because... Oh, okay? That’s super weird. I totally get why that’s weird. Production comes in with morbid music as a hearse drives up. Trent pops out and says he literally died when he found out Becca was Bachelorette, and I cackled. I can’t help it. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed.

Jordan is here to show off his sartorial choices and doesn’t understand the other shlubs who showed up. I hate that I kind of agree with him? But then again, I intend my wedding attire to be Elevated Black Tie. I want the men to show up in basically butler’s uniforms and the women to look like Lady Gaga. Just put a little more effort in - Becca’s standing there in a backless beaded gown, the least you can do is put on a god damn tie.

Oh, of course someone comes in in a chicken suit. David is both a chicken and a venture capitalist, which is my least favorite thing. He has to wear that suit all night long. Jordan is #unamused, which is hilarious. I do appreciate the “bekaw/Becca” wordplay. Chris arrives with a fucking choir who sings about getting a rose, and I’m just... Okay. This would be teeeeewwwww much for me.

Okay, we’ve got twenty-eight men. And none of them are winners. Good LUCK, Becca. Becca makes her first toast, and immediately Connor is the first one to whisk her away. The guys are genuinely shocked but y’all, that’s how the game is PLAYED. He opens a bottle of champagne with a kitchen knife, and it’s impressive, but not a saber like is to be expected or standard. Color me unimpressed, Connor.7 Clay and Becca play with Clay, and I love that. I mean, who doesn’t love adults playing with play-doh? Clay is from a small town and talks about his values and how they grew from growing up where he did. He talks about how excited he was to meet her, and I smile. Clay is too good for this show.

ONE OF THE DUDES MADE THE APP FOR VENMO AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? DAMN, ABC.

Chris uses the fact that his grandparents got married after two months and have been together almost 60 years to get Becca to believe that Chris is all about this. Chris looks far too much like Perez Hilton for my liking and just for that, I hate him with a firey passion.8 Christon is a former Harlem Globetrotter and so he’s gonna show her how he can dunk a ball from her own hands. He DUNKED Becca, jumping OVER her head, and it...

It’s actually marvelous. Like, damn. I mean, he’s a Harlem Globetrotter. He better be able to dunk on command.

Blake and Becca are on the same page, which is shocking because Blake is basically dressed like Hugh Hefner. Chris Harrison comes in, drops off the First Impression Rose, and walks out to go put his pajamas back on. All the guys are immediately shooketh by it.

Lincoln brought Becca a bracelet from Nigeria, and we get a montage of the stunts these guys are pulling to impress Becca. David the Chicken Venture Capitalist leads Becca in the chicken dance and we’re supposed to be impressed by him becuase he’s literally in a chicken suit but he has a Serious Career.

We get to watch the Anxiety Set In for the men who haven’t had a chance to talk to Becca yet, especially Jordan. He pretends like it doesn’t bother him, he’s just playing it cool, but come on. Garrett shows Becca how to fish, and if a dude did this to me, I’d yawn. Garrett reminds Becca of home, of her dad, and she thinks he’d totally fit in with her family. Oh no.

Chris / Perez Hilton / Ben Stiller in Dodgeball has realized someone is There For the Wrong Reasons. Chase, who met Becca on After the Final Rose, is suspected by Chris. I’m suspicious of both of them simply because they’re both from Orlando, Florida unapologetically. Chris knows Chase’s ex-girlfriend and apparently she told Chris that he’s just there for publicity. They all think Chris needs to confront Chase. I can’t tell you who told him this because we’re still at the point of the season where all the men kind of look the same. I think it’s Christon and Blake, but I’m not sure.

The drama has already begun. I'm sad it's not someone getting black out drunk like it usually is.

Chris takes Chase aside to tell him what the deal is, and Chase of course denies all of this. I mean, what’s he going to do, stand there and admit do it? He confirms he’s there for the Right Reasons, and he’s there for Becca. My favorite is that he admits to have been watching this show for years with his mom, so of COURSE he’s NOT THERE FOR FAME. I don’t understand this thought process as a defense.

Chase immediately runs to Becca to tattle on Chris for being skeptical. Chase, who looks perpetually constipated, never found out what this girl told Chris, but he’s vehemently denying whatever it is and isn’t That Guy, whatever guy his ex he only dated for a month told Chris he was. Like damn, Chase. You musta done something. Becca doesn’t really know what to do with any of that information because Chase is leaving out the part where he’s the asshole.

Chase goes and grabs Chris (????) because they’re settling the drama right then and there. Chase denies ever dating this girl with any kind of seriousness and they’re both... gross. Becca clearly doesn’t know what to do because the story doesn’t add up. If it was two years ago and someone he only a dated a month, what’s the issue at hand? It’s so weird. Becca is as turned off as I am, and this mostly reminds her of someone she met earlier that she was turned off by initially.

She comes to get Jake, because his intentions are watery at best. They have the same group of friends back in Minnesota but have never interacted, and so it’s super weird that he showed up here trying to date her. Like, dude, you actually had a chance before to at least try to. Becca doesn’t think he showed her any interest in the previous times they’ve met, and Jake doesn’t remember meeting her more than one time. He remembers one time they met, but not... multiple times.

I scoffed so hard a little bit of phlegm came out. TMI, I know. But still.

Jake is excited to be there and get to know her, but Becca isn’t on board, and rightfully so. I’ve had people meet me multiple times and have zero recollection and I’m offended. Here comes Jake, having met Becca multiple times and admittingly having no recollection of doing so, coming onto this show to try to date her? Really? When in real life he never tried to in the first place? Most people aren’t as transparent as Jake is with their intentions, but it’s so clear that Jake thought he’d be able to parlay the fact that they knew each other before into a relationship.

But if we’ve met before and you didn’t show any interest then, how am I expected to take you seriously now that we’re on TV? Becca all but says as much but tells him she knows what it feels like to have someone question her relationship with them and she’s not going to do that again. Jake tries to be like “but what about meEEEEEEE and MY FEELINGS” and Becca shuts that shit right down because she is not here for his whataboutism. Neither of them did anything when they met before, and it’s not about who did what in this scenario. She’s holding the god damn key and him coming on this show in the first place was fucked up. She doesn’t want to waste his time and knows she doesn’t see a future with him. She’s sending him home ASAP.

He tells her that he’s not the same person she met at some mysterious Christmas Party and has had a “transformative year” - uh you’re telling this to the woman who got dumped on national television, your transformation is nothing compared to hers - and he’s a different person. He thinks if they met again, it would have a different result. I’m sure it would, Jake, but you lost your chance. Sorry. He says he respects how she feels and he’s going home.

Jake was one of the most attractive men there, but man, this was G R O S S.

Becca announces to the men that Jake is going home first, and they’re all terrified.

There is a grown ass man with an “expecto patronus” Harry Potter tattoo, and yeah, he’s got some nonsense “it’s different in Latin” translation, but I’m just happy the black guy doesn’t have a Death Eater tattoo8. Colton talks about his charity, and the First Impression Rose is still there.

But not for long, because here comes Becca to grab it and offer it to...

Garrett.

All the guys are visibly gutted. I don’t know why, the best thing about Garrett is his tie. I love a pink and blue tie. He gets the first kiss of the season, too. Garrett’s thrilled.

Back inside, Chris Harrison has changed back into his suit for about ten minutes to gather Becca before the first Rose Ceremony. At this point, I also see a guy who I haven’t seen thus far, and went “PHOARRRRRRRR” because he was so hot. WHO ARE YOU, ANONYMOUS HOTTIE? I love that Jordan’s like, “It wouldn’t be fair to Becca if I didn’t get a rose tonight.” I’m on my third season of saying this, but I love when the contestants think their feelings matter at all in this scenario.

The Rose Ceremony begins.

Lincoln, Blake, Rickey, Jean-Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan9, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David The Chicken Venture Capitalist, Jordan, Leo, Mike, and Chris all accept roses.

That means Chris’s plan to get rid of Chase worked. Which it never does. On The Bachelorette, The Messenger usually gets shot.

Bye to Chase, Christian, Darius, Grant, Joe, and Kamil, all to face the cold light of day. Y’all stayed up all night for this.

BUT NOOOOOOOO, NOT GROCERY STORE JOE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll keep you warm in those Chicago winters, Joe. Now that My (ex)-boyfriend Wells is dating someone far more famous than I am, I’m in the market. Call me.

This Season, on The Bachelorette: This season isn’t the most dramatic ever, according to Chris Harrison. This time, it’s an adventure. Lots of beach kissing! All the guys are like “Arby’s dumb for losing this girl.” Colton, Jean Blanc, and Nick all tell Becca they’re in love with her. And then - TEARS. LOTS OF THEM. Someone did to Becca what Arby did, and whoever it is, I AM COMING FOR YOUR EDGES. Lincoln is a liar and a manipulator? Jordan, who is clearly there to boost his modeling career, takes it very personally for people to attack his character on television. That… doesn’t help with people thinking you’re just there to boost your modeling career, Jordan. Colton, of course, is a virgin, and apparently this may or may not be a lie? Who lies about something like that? Becca’s pissed. She just wants honesty from these fuckboys, and girl, you better have stocked up in fuckboy repellent. All she wants is their honesty from here on out. And then someone’s getting taken off in an ambulance. But it’s all going to end in an engagement that has allegedly already been spoiled by TMZ/the Powers that Be at ABC trying to scoop Reality Steve, so that’s what we have to look forward to.

See you next week! It’s great to be back.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Becca is only a year older than I am, and this is really sending me spiraling. I know we’ve had girls younger than I am on this show, but I never really contextualized that until I saw 1990 next to Becca’s name. I am so OLD.

This season’s batch of men makes me never want to be The Second Black Bachelorette™. If these are the best options, I’ll barf.

I know she’ll be on Paradise because come on no brainer, but man - I am so happy The Bachelorette is not Tia. Oh man, am I happy it’s not Tia.

I know everyone talks about how amazing Joelle’s hair is, but Becca. Gorgeous hair.

How tall is Becca? She looks like she’s my height.

Jordan is going to be this season’s Chad. At least we’re going back to the Douchebag Villain and not the Racist Villain again.

I really loved that all the guys were like “if the guy in a chicken suit gets a rose over me, life means nothing.” Oh, to have never struggled a day in your life.

Jordan, are you really a fashion model if you’re from Crystal Ocean Spray, Florida?

All of these men look like 90s Teen Film Villains. Like, this is a cast of Andrew Keegans and Paul Walkers.

Elizabeth who? ↩︎

I mean, kind of? No, I don’t. I really don’t. Can someone explain this to me? I feel like that’s resigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocre sex because you haven’t experienced anything else. ↩︎

I went with Fage because Bobby Flay, the whitest man I can think of, was their brand representative for a moment. Why is Bobby Flay the whitest man I can think of? He has a show where he literally competes with people to prove he’s good. I don’t need that, I literally have MY LIFE. ↩︎

Things that are interesting to only me: after two years of having the lead on a white background in a red dress (Joelle and Rachel), they’re back to the metallic-colored sequin dress (Kaitlyn and Andi), but Becca’s on a grey background. Both Emily and Desiree had what honestly looks like satin prom dresses from JCPenney. This matters to literally no one else.  ↩︎

The least surprising thing about Leo is that he’s a stuntman. Of course he is. Stuntmen either look like him or look like... well, what I imagine Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store’s uncles probably look like. ↩︎

boundaries.

↩︎

Some other guy who is a real estate agent is like, “you never buy the first house,” which reminds us this show is doing really good things for gender progress in America. (/s) ↩︎

Seriously, has anyone with a Death Eater tattoo realized they’re just telling the entire world they’d be a proud racist wizard? ↩︎ ↩︎

RYAN IS MY SECRET MYSTERY HOTTIE, OMG. I forgive his banjo playing, it’s not like he’s in Mumford & Sons. ↩︎

[comebackbehere23]

How about this for a trimberly prompt: Kimberly gets suspended from school because she beat up Amanda for outing trini out to the entire angel grove high school. So trini visits Kim at home to see how she's doing after she was sent home after the fight.

A/N: Trimberly time! This took a bit of a different turn, but your prompt is most definitely in it! I hope you enjoy it!Trigger warning: Homophobic slurs.-x-The first time Trini gets in trouble for being different, she’s seven and in the third grade. At this point in her life, she was full of smiles and excitement; she was also full of love for Bianca Yenton, her best friend and the prettiest girl besides her mami. So, on Valentine’s day when her mother takes her card shopping, she picks out the sweetest looking lollipop and the brightest card and scribbles Bianca’s name on it.But Bianca never gets the letter or candy, her mother sees it and yells at Trini before she throws it away. It’s the first time she hears the word ‘gay’ and it’s only when her mother is yelling at her father that ‘my only child is not gay, I refuse to even consider it.’ Trini knows her mom really is mad when she doesn’t come in later to read her Goodnight Moon and tuck her in with a kiss. Two months later, Trini’s father puts in for a job transfer and she leaves Texas and Bianca behind.-Trini knows she’s gay by the time she’s thirteen. While all her friends gush about Zac Efron, Trini watches Ashley Tisdale with a curious expression. When one of her friends gets a boyfriend and talks about how he smells like Axe body spray, Trini scrunches her nose and thinks that vanilla or something flowery would be better. Anytime they so much as mention kissing a boy, Trini allows her eyes to flutter shut and she silently replaces that boy with a girl.The only problem is that all of the things she feels is apparently wrong. Her friends make faces at her when she compliments one of their skirts, and they stop holding hands with her one day after some boy in a grade above them calls her a dyke. She doesn’t even know what it means, but it still brings tears to her eyes. It still leaves her friendless within the span of a week. Once again, their family packs up and moves.-“Trinity Santana Gomez, how could you do something like this?” Marie demands as she looks at her daughter with wide eyes. “I know your papi and I raised you better, I know you know this is wrong.”This being her first kiss. Her first kiss that took place in her basement with some bubblegum pop song playing in the background. Her first kiss that was taken by Hannah Garcia. Her first kiss that was interrupted by her mother who screamed at them until Hannah ran out of the house in tears and left Trini to face the wrath of the women before her.“Don’t you know that you’re sinning? Everything you do with that...harlot is a sin. It’s disgusting.” Marie growls. “I don’t know what has gotten into you, Trinity, but enough is enough.”Enough turns out to be conversion therapy. Except it doesn’t work, it just shatters her self-confidence and molds her into a harder shell. After that, she changes. Her smile disappears. Her music becomes loud screams that match the anger that thrums through her veins. Her clothes are darker, her face is hidden by beanies. Trini strips herself of the person she was and paints a new face; her parents bump her to Angel Grove the day after her therapy ends.-Three schools in three years. It takes her three schools before she lands herself in the middle of a group of kids who teach her what it means to build a family. None of them are perfect by any means, but they accept each other’s flaws without question. They accept Trini when she finally gets the courage to admit that she is gay, that she’s done pretending to be someone she’s not. They hug her, they tell her it’s okay, and Zack promises to be her wingman.But Kimberly is the one who sneaks into her room later that night with a box of donuts and wine coolers. It’s a horrible mix, but they toast to her self freedom and Kimberly makes her swear to always be true to who she is. Eventually, the alcohol sets in and both girls cram donuts in each other’s mouths to smother laughter while Trini rolls the empty bottles under her bed.They fall asleep pressed close together with powder on their noses and something more growing between them.-Kimberly kisses her on a Saturday that they’re trapped in the pit going through exercise after exercise. They’re both exhausted and sweaty, but Trini says something that brings out a smile from Kimberly and soon soft lips are against her own. To Trini, it tastes like coming home but there’s still a part of her that screams that this is wrong; but she flicks that little part of her aside and says fuck it.“And what was that for?” Trini smirks as Kimberly slowly pulls away.“Just me ending the tension.” Kimberly teases, and Trini lights up with a blush. “I think we should go somewhere after we get out of here. I think we need to talk.”Trini nods, “I think so too.”-They talk that night, they quietly talk beside Kimberly’s special lake, they talk until the sun rises high above them and Angel Grove. They talk as school begins. They talk well past first period, and long into second. The conversation never falters, and the laughter between them is soft and easy. They talk until Trini’s phone blows up with texts and Kimberly’s lights up with a photo of her mother.“Shit.” Kimberly hisses.Trini winces as she reads the texts, “Fuck.”Both girls fumble to their feet as their bubble pops and reality sets in; their bodies ache from staying in one position for so long and their stomachs rumble after being neglected for so long. Trini smiles softly as Kimberly winces and presses a hand to her abdomen. As they stand there, the two look towards their new beginning.“What is this exactly?” Trini asks.Kimberly shrugs and begins to back away with a smile, “I don’t know yet, but I hope you’ll stick around for the ride so we can find out.”Trini knows damn well she’s not going anywhere; not when Kimberly smiles like that, not when she knows what freedom tastes like on the lips of somebody. Not when all the wrongs she has been taught suddenly feel so damn right.-“Do you think being gay is wrong?”On the top of an old abandoned railroad cart, Trini and Zack share a bag of Cheetos and a Sprite. As the question settles between them, Zack looks up at her with wide, sad eyes. She almost regrets asking the question, but this is Zack. Zack who calls her his best friend. Zack who invites her for chess nights with his mom. Zack who has accepted her craziness from the moment they met.“No. I don’t.” Zack replies. “Do you?”“I wish I could say no.” Trini scoffs as she sips at the cold carbonation. “Stupid, right? I’m gay and I’m sitting here thinking how wrong I am, how disgusting I am.”“T,” Zack whispers as he furrows his brow slowly. “You’re not disgusting and you’re not wrong, there’s nothing bad about the person you are. You’re still Trini, you just like girls.”Trini gives a bitter laugh, “Why can’t my parents see it that way?”“Because they suck.” Zack snaps as he crunches down hard on a Cheeto. “Trini, you haven’t changed a bit since the second you told us you were gay.”“I have changed though.” Trini admits. “I was an entirely different person once upon a time. Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I’d be if my mom had been cool with me giving that card to Bianca Yenton.”“As long as you still somehow ended up here, I wouldn’t care if you had showed up here with lime green hair and a grill. Even if you did, you’d still be my crazy girl.” Zack grins.Trini looks at him and wonders how she got so lucky. She knows Zack had feelings for her, she isn’t quite sure if they’re even gone, but he has been by her side through it all. With a shake of her head, she lays back and stares up at the darkening sky and Zack joins her a moment later; here with her insane best friend, Trini almost feels normal.-“Whoa.”Kimberly smiles as she glances over her shoulder, “You okay?”“Whoa.”A soft laugh leaves Kimberly as she reaches around herself to clip her bra back into place before she feels around for her boyshorts. Deep in the wooded area, beside Kimberly’s beloved lake, Trini stares up at the trees and struggles to come back down from her high. Everything seems so different now, everything feels real. Her entire body buzzes with energy and her heart knocks heavily, pounds against her ribcage in search of the girl who now owns every piece of it.“Pretty girl, come back to me.” Kimberly whispers as she props herself on her elbow while her empty hand drags down Trini’s bare stomach.“I can’t.” Trini admits.“Well, you’re speaking more than one word so that’s an improvement.” Kimberly teases as she ducks her head to press a kiss to Trini’s neck. “Come on, you. I don’t want anyone to find us.”The words wash away every previous feeling as they register. Kimberly doesn’t want anyone to find them, she doesn’t want anyone to know. With that, Trini sits up and barely manages to miss slamming her head against Kimberly’s as she paws for her clothes. Her hands shake as she scrambles to get dressed while her heart crumbles in her chest, and she can hear Kimberly calling her name but all she can focus on is getting the hell out of here.“Trin, what are you doing?” Kimberly demands as she stands and rests a soft hand on Trini’s shoulder.Trini shrugs the hand off, “You don’t want anyone to see us.”“That doesn’t mean we have to rush out of here.” Kimberly frowns as she moves to slip her arms around Trini only for the girl to step away. “What’s going on?”“I-I get it. You don’t want anyone to see.”“Well, yeah.” Kimberly chuckles and Trini sinks at the sound. “I mean, the last thing we need is for someone to stumble upon us naked by a lake. That isn’t exactly how I want to tell the boys about us.”Trini pauses, “Wait...you’re not embarrassed?”“Embarrassed?” Kimberly repeats with a look of confusion. “What would I have to be embarrassed about?”“Me.”Kimberly barks out a laugh that holds no humor, “What? Trini, I’m not embarrassed at all. What just happened...Trini, it was amazing. I don’t have any regrets. I...do you regret it?”Trini furrows her brow as she tries to process Kimberly’s words; she wasn’t ashamed, she wasn’t embarrassed. She was happy with what happened, she was actually content. The surprise explodes in the form of a sob, and Kimberly is curled around her before Trini can even consider falling into her embrace.“I’m not embarrassed. I’m so lucky that I have you, Trini. I’m so happy to have this with you.” Kimberly whispers as she presses a kiss to Trini’s head. “I’ll say it a thousand more times if you need me to. There is nothing wrong with what we’re doing, okay?”And Trini finally starts to believe it.-Telling the boys is one of the best moments in Trini’s life. They’re all like excited puppies as they throw out questions and wrap the girls in hugs. Last night, after their afternoon at the lake, Kimberly had tilted Trini’s chin up and kissed her right there on her front porch. It was after that, that Trini gathered all the bad things in her head and tossed them away; it was in that moment that the fear left her and she had asked a beaming Kimberly to be her girlfriend.“I’m happy for you guys.” Jason laughs as he once again twirls Kimberly around. “You guys are so cute. I’m really glad Kim will leave me alone about how cute you are, Trini.”Trini giggles from her place curled in Billy’s hug. Eventually, Billy steps away and scurries off to Kimberly who releases Zack and gives him a nod. Trini scoots off to her best friend and Zack wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her fully off the ground; she can almost feel how proud he is as he squeezes her tight enough to almost shatter her ribcage.“You did it, crazy girl.” Zack whispers in her ear. “Now, take every word that anyone has told you and tell them to fuck off. Don’t doubt your happiness for a second, alright? You’ve got it all now.”Trini nods through her tears, “I’m gonna be alright?”“Better than alright.”“Hey, give me my girlfriend back!”Zack laughs and sets Trini back on her feet and Trini can feel him watching her as she sinks off into Kimberly’s arms. Her head rests in the crook of her girlfriend’s neck as she watches her boys hoot and holler in excitement. This, she figures, is what a real family must feel like.-“So, date night?” Zack teases as he approaches Trini and gives her a strong nudge. “You seemed all too content when you texted me last night.”“First of all, all I said was fuck off,” Trini snorts as she slams her locker shut and leans against it. “But, if you must know, we had an amazing time.”“Are we talking about a very special date night?” Jason demands as he approaches with Billy at his side. “Kim wouldn’t stop gushing about it all period, I heard you actually wore pink.”“I’m not saying a thing.” Trini chirps.“Saying a thing about what?” Kimberly asks as she approaches, and her smile widens as she sees Trini. “Are we talking about a certain something that happened last night?”“Possibly.” Trini smirks.Kimberly looks at Trini with so much devotion and promise that it causes their friends to startle. The five of them know that they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and the boys can see that Trini and Kimberly have apparently found their safety in each other. Jason smiles softly at the thought, all he wants is for his team to be happy.“Well, well. If it isn’t the little lesbian and her group of losers.”The five stiffen at the familiar nasally voice, and they turn with reluctance to watch as Amanda and her group crowd them. Just like that, the hallway goes quiet as everyone zeroes in on the drama that is about to take place; all is silent as the groups stare each other down until Zack gives a protective growl.“Walk away, Amanda.” Zack orders.“Fuck off, trailer trash.” Amanda sneers, and Zack immediately recoils while his team tenses. “Jason, Kim. I know you’ve fallen pretty low on the social ladder, but this is just pathetic. Really, Kim? You’re going to associate yourself with a dyke?”“What is wrong with you?” Jason snarls as he takes a step forward only for Ty to slam a hand against his chest. “You guys need to walk away. Now.”Amanda waves him off and focuses back on Trini, “Does Kimmy know how you perv on her? Does she know that you probably watch her change? Aw, do you have a crush on Kimberly?”“Stop.”Trini speaks so softly that it breaks the team’s hearts. Before them, their fellow Ranger sinks into herself with a look of confusion and so much self-hatred; they can tell that every word Amanda tosses her way is just another memory being dragged up. And while the boys are angry, Kimberly is fuming; her chest heaves and her body glows with an unexplainable anger.“Did we upset you?” Rebecca coos as she gives a pout. “Everyone in this school already knows what you are. It’s not it’s some giant secret.”Kimberly swallows hard, “Leave her alone.”Amanda flashes Kimberly a smirk, “It’s so cute that you’re all so ready to fight for this loser. How can you even stand to be around her, Kimberly? Doesn’t it just make your skin crawl knowing that she’s staring at you?”Kimberly listens to the words that spew out of Amanda’s mouth. She takes them in, let’s them swim through her head and settle to repeat over and over. The blood in her veins boils as she turns her head to rub her lips together before her tongue flicks out to lick at the edge of her mouth; she has never wanted to hit someone so badly before.Amanda and her group roar with laughter as they notice the displeasure on the group’s faces. With a giggle, Amanda tilts her head with a look of slight sympathy as Trini tightens her grasp on the straps of her backpack and pulls it tighter while her gaze drops to stare at the dirty floor.“Guys,” Billy begins in a soft tone. “They’re not worth it.”“Maybe she just needs a good fuck to straighten her out.” Amanda offers, and the laughter quickly grows in sound. “Any takers? Ty?”Kimberly feels the fire erupt and before she can register what she’s doing her hand is sweeping hard across Amanda’s face. A loud crack echoes in the hallway as the laughs twist into gasps and phones are pulled out to record Kimberly grabbing Amanda by her jacket and spinning to slam her against the lockers.“Oh shit.” Zach groans as he presses a closed fist to his mouth.Billy shakes his head, “She clearly hand that coming.”“I think you’re done now, right?” Kimberly growls as she tries to hold back the strength she know she has. “You’re not going to disrespect my girlfriend like that and just walk away without a reminder as to why you shouldn’t.”“Girlfriend?” Amanda sneers.“Yeah. That beautiful girl is mine.” Kimberly snarls. “Keep your mouth shut and stay the hell away from her, stay away from all my friends. If you want to come at me then do it directly, leave them out of it.”“What is going on over here?”Students scatter until Kimberly is left staring up at her glowering principal.-“Alright, alright!”“Kimberly Ann Hart, we expect to meet this girl that you’re so convinced you need to be suspended for!”“Alright, Mom! Jesus.”Kimberly huffs as she stomps up the stairs and towards her room; after being suspended, Kimberly had to come home to a two hour lecture from her parents. It definitely was a buzzkill to the adrenaline of her day; she never really planned to start her week off getting suspended, but she knows she’d do it all over again if it meant protecting her little family.As she slips into her room, Kimberly feels her heart flutter as she sees Trini sitting in the nook of her windowsill. For a moment, she stops to admire how beautiful Trini looks in her ratty old beanie and the dipping sun glowing down on her. With a soft sigh, Kimberly crosses the room and startles Trini from her thoughts as she presses a kiss to the top of her head.“Hi.” Kimberly whispers.Trini doesn’t speak, she just curls her arms around Kimberly and pulls her until they are both crammed in the window nook. They find a comfortable position eventually with Kimberly sitting between Trini’s legs and their feet tangled together; here, in Trini’s arms, Kimberly once again has no regrets for her actions.“So, an entire week?” Trini frowns.Kimberly shrugs, “Not too bad.”“You got into a fight. You got suspended. I’m all for trouble but even I know that’s bad, Kim.” Trini snorts as she drops her head to press a kiss to Kimberly’s shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that.”“Defend your honor?” Kimberly frowns.“Out yourself.” Trini corrects.Kimberly falls silent for a beat before she turns her head so she can meet Trini’s nervous gaze, “Are you really talking about me or do you mean us?”“Both.” Trini admits as her cheeks bleed through with a blush. “Now the whole school knows that we’re dating and…”“And I don’t care. Trini, I’ve wanted this since the moment you tumbled down into that ravine with us.” Kimberly confesses before she pauses. “Were you ready to tell people? Fuck. Trin, did I overstep? I’m sorry, I didn’t…”Trini reaches out to press a hand to her mouth, “I’m not upset, just surprised. I’m not...used to this. You guys are the first people to not give a fuck about my sexuality, I just didn’t expect you to want to tell everyone at school.”“Mm,” Kimberly hums against Trini’s hand before she pulls it away from her mouth and drops a kiss to her palm. “I’m proud to be with you, Trini. I’m proud of the fact that you want to be with me.”Trini closes her hand into a fist, “Why?”Kimberly shifts until she is kneeling in between Trini’s legs, “Because you are ridiculously smart. Because you swerve on the road to avoid animals and butterflies. Because you laugh at all of Zack’s jokes and you always know what to say to calm Billy down. Because you’re the first to step up and help Jason.”“Kim…”“I’m not done.” Kim laughs as she presses her fingertips to Trini’s lips. “I’m proud to be with you because you’re proud of who you are. You’re beautiful, Trini. You are so beautiful. And the outside matches all the beauty on the inside.”Trini swallows hard and slowly shakes her head, “I don’t deserve you.”“I don’t deserve you either, babe. I don’t deserve any of what I have, to be honest.” Kimberly shrugs as she frames Trini’s face. “But I think that’s why we’re perfect for each other.”“You deserve the world, Kim.” Trini argues.Kimberly smiles as she ducks her head to press their lips together, “I already have it right here in my arms.”In that moment, Trini throws it all away. Every therapy session, every backhanded comment from her parents, every shove in the hallways at school, every word carved into her locker, just...everything. She throws it away and grasps onto her future, grasps onto Kimberly and readies herself for the rest of forever.

[chasingafterinfinity]

Chapter Two.

1DFF  -  Wattpad  -  Tumblr

"Famous or not, love, you don't know him."

"Just know I'm right across the street so no funny business. Got it, mate?"

"Yeah, wouldn't dream of it, mate." 

previous chapter.

The first thing Harry noticed as his bleary eyes cracked open was that he wasn't in his usual building on the single mattress he'd found. Instead, he was cocooned in warmth and surrounded by the scent of vanilla with a hint of lavender. The leather beneath his cheek was warm from his own body heat and he was comfortable.

Then, he remembered the pounding behind his eyes, his entire body sore as his stomach churned uneasily. He felt like shit and couldn't remember how he got wherever it was that he currently was. His eyes darted around the room, taking in the large flat screen mounted in the wall across from where he was situated, a small entertainment center placed beneath it with a gaming system on top and various games on the shelf below it.

Craning his head, he glanced to the wall facing the top of his head. There were a few paintings decorating it's length before it dipped down into a short hallway where Harry could just make out three doors. He propped himself up on one elbow and craned his neck to glance over the black couch he was sprawled across, noticing how the wall on that side cut off and a kitchen bar took its place.

It was sleek and modern, the floors a dark hardwood and the countertops were a sleek black granite, beige walls tying it all together with the deep black leather furniture. Harry's gaze shifted to the bookcases lining the wall towards his feet, all of them filled with an array of books before he finally caught a glimpse of blonde hair.

She was settled into the armchair that was off the foot of the couch, blonde hair tied back into a messy ponytail with a few strands slipping loose around her face with notebooks and pens and highlighters spread out across her lap and the coffee table in front of her. A green highlighter was clasped between her plump lips as her head bobbed along to the quiet music filtering from her phone. Harry couldn't see much of her face, but when she finally glanced up and caught his gaze she took his breath away.

She had a round face, her eyes were round and deep set, a chocolate brown color framed by black-rimmed glasses. Her hair was golden blonde, strands slipping free and framing her delicate features. Her lips were a deep pink and plump as she offered him a soft smile. He was sure he looked like an idiot staring at her all wide-eyed and slack jawed.

"Oh, good. You're awake." She spoke as she began shifting everything from her lap to the coffee table.

Harry just nodded his head slowly. Partly because it was still pounding and partly because he was almost postive he was having a bad trip (or a good one, it was still too soon to tell). Her voice was soft and innocent, absolutely befitting of the thin girl in front of him. He watched her dainty legs unfold as she stood up, offering him a warm smile before shuffling over to the counter.

She was tall and thin, her figure moving gracefully back towards him with a glass of water in one hand and something else clasped in the palm of the other. She gave him a reassuring his as she handed it all to him, three pills with a glass of water. He took them gratefully, tossing the pills back and chugging the glass of water before sitting up straight on the couch.

A wave of embarrassment washed over him. He felt out of place in her sleek, clean home with his ratty clothes and the grime coating his skin. His cheeks flushed as he diverted his gaze to the floor, muttering out a stammered thank you. He began to twist his fingers together as she made her way back to the chair.

"I'm not sure how much of last night you remember, but I'm Skylar. I brought you home with me last night cos I found you drunk on the sidewalk after you got your arse handed to you. Umm, if you'd like, you're welcome to take a shower. I put some fresh clothes in the bathroom with a towel and stuff." She said quietly, her own nerves making her voice waver.

Harry's heart swelled with warmth. It'd been a while since someone had been so kind towards him. His own family and friends had eventually grown tired of his shit. Not that he blamed them. Since his divorce he'd spent more time staring down a bottle of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on than dealing with any of them. They'd all tried to help, but Harry didn't want help. He just wanted to numb the pain that came with the sting of divorce from a woman he'd spent nearly ten years hopelessly in love with.

Morgan Alford-Styles was a ruthless woman. It was what made her one of London's top music producers. She was just as beautiful as she was ruthless, though with striking green eyes and a head of chocolate colored hair. Her innocent, heart shaped face could throw almost anyone off her cold demeanor. But not Harry. It was one of the things he loved the most about her, how she never took any of his shit (not even when they were in secondary school). Maybe he should have known her well enough to know that she'd pull a stunt like the one she did.

Harry licked his lips, eyes darting down the hall because a long, hot shower and a good shave sounded just like what he needed before his gaze settled back on Skylar. She offered him another warm, reassuring smile and a subtle nod before he finally gathered himself enough to move off the couch. He shrugged the blanket off and stood on still wobbly legs before turning to face her with his eyebrows raised in question.

"It's the door straight down the hall all the way at the end. I'll start some tea and find you something to eat while you shower and stuff." Her voice was soft and quiet and it warmed Harry's body as he gave her a nod and began down the hall.

Her bathroom was just as spacious as the common areas he'd briefly seen, the counter spanning nearly the entire length of one wall with a walk in shower placed to the left of it and the toilet to the right with a stand alone bathtub placed by the wall where the door was situated. Harry noticed that there was a stack of neatly folded clothes nestled on top of a towel on the counter. An unopened razor, toothbrush, and can of shaving cream placed next to them along with a tube of toothpaste. He was grateful as he peeled his grimy clothes off his frame and started the shower up, letting the room fill with steam before stepping under the hot spray.

A sigh fell past his lips as he reveled in the feeling of the water washing down his body. He glanced around, eyes quickly narrowing in on a small selection of bath washes and shampoos and conditioners. As he picked up a bottle of Axe liquid bath wash, he wondered if maybe the reason she had it was because she had a boyfriend. It wouldn't have shocked him in the least. She was very pretty and to him, she came off as extremely sweet and caring.

He took his time methodically washing himself and his hair, staying in the shower until the water ran nearly cold. He slipped out carefully, toweling himself try before wrapping the towel around his waist and starting the water in the sink. He mattered his face up, taking his time to drag the razor across his skin. It was familiar and soothing, something he hadn't done or felt in months.

It had taken Harry nearly an hour to shower and shave before he was slipping into the soft, warm joggers that were laid out and pulling the thin white shirt over his torso. He padded out of the bathroom feeling like a new person as he made his way towards what he was sure was the kitchen.

She stood at the stove, looking soft in a baggy grey shirt with a small pair of matching shorts, a large spoon grasped in one hand as the other held onto the pan sizzling on the stove. She hummed along to a song filtering through the speakers of her phone. There wasn't much to her, she was short and thin, the dip between her waist and hips was nearly nonexsistent. But her legs, oh how they seemed to go on for days.

Harry was so caught up in his staring, he didn't notice when she turned around to speak to him. Whatever words were on her tongue died immediately, though as she hawked at him. Her plump lips parted and brown eyes wide in shock.

"Harry Styles?"

Disbelief coated her words as her eyes scanned his features over and over. Harry froze, muscles tensing up as he watched her carefully.

"Yeah?" He replied slowly, eyeing her curiously.

It'd been so long since someone had recognized him that Harry almost forgot what it was like. Almost. He relaxed again when she didn't say anything else but instead turned towards the now whistling kettle placed in a burner. She pulled two empty mugs down from an overhead cabinet and rolled them with the water from the kettle. A search through a bottom cabinet procured a box of Twinnings tea.

Skylar placed a mug of steaming water in front of him before setting a bag of unopened tea next to it with a spoon. She turned back to the stove, cutting all the burners off and spooning whatever she'd been cooking into two plates. She sat one in front of him with a fork before making her way to the fridge.

"You take milk or anything in your tea?" She asked, sifting through it's contents.

"Honey and a splash of milk, please." He replied, watching as she pulled the milk out before digging in another cabinet for the bottle of honey.

Wordlessly, she sat them down in front of him along with a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon and two waffles. Harry glanced down, his stomach rumbling loudly as he mixed the milk and honey into his tea while she let out a quiet giggle.

"Never thought you'd be sitting in my kitchen eating breakfast at two in the morning." She said softly, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she stood across the bar from him, her own mug of tea and plate situated on front of her.

Harry let out a snort, shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth as he glanced over at her.

"Never thought I'd be in a fan's home." Harry said through a mouthful of waffle.

Skylar laughed softly, her eyes shining and the skin at the corners crinkling slightly as she grinned at him. It was silent for a few moments after, aside from the scraping of silverware on plates until someone suddenly burst through the doors.

"Skylar, babe?!" A loud voice booked from the entryway.

Harry's stomach dropped. He knew when he saw all the guy products in the bathroom that she had a boyfriend. He froze, body stiffening and eyes widening as his gaze darted over to Skylar. She playfully rolled her eyes, a good natured smile lighting her face as the face behind the voice finally appeared.

He wasn't much shorter than Harry, but definitely a little more stout with shaggy blonde hair pushed back off his forehead and the brightest blue eyes Harry had ever seen. Harry eyed him carefully as he stepped into the kitchen, a frown etched on his features. He eyed Harry suspiciously as he walked by, joining Skylar on the other site of the bar.

"See? We're fine, Niall. You can go home and go to bed now." She assured her blonde friend with a smile as she gestured between herself and Harry.

He watched the blonde boy, Niall's, frown deepen and his eyebrows tug low over his baby blues as he studied the pair carefully. He scooted closer to Skylar until their arms brushed and met her gaze with pursed lips.

"You sure? Cos I don't mind staying and sleeping on the couch." He liltes quietly, their conversation clearly meant for just the two of them.

"I'm sure, Ni. It's just Harry Styles." She replied dismissively before taking a sip of her tea.

"Famous or not, love, you don't know him."

Harry wanted to be offended by his words, but Harry also understood that while up until a year ago, his life had been highly publicized, they didn't know him pesonally. They didn't know all his quirks or how he likes his tea or that he was terrified of the dark (it made him feel particularly unmanly but lately it seemed like all his demons hid in the dark). They knew what news outlets had to say about him.

He eyed Harry once more, an unsatisfied huff falling past his lips in defeat before he met Skyla's gaze. There was a moment of silent communication between the pair before his shoulders slumped and she sighed loudly. Niall nodded his head slowly before his gaze locked on Harry, a fierce look taking over his gentle features.

"Just know I'm right across the street so no funny business. Got it, mate?"

Harry flinched at the harshness of his time before nodding his head with wide eyes.

"Yeah, wouldn't dream of it, mate." He replied, watching Niall with a guarded gaze.

Niall turned to Skylar, murmuring something low into her ear, obviously meant only for her before planting a sloppy kiss to her cheek. He gave Harry a curt nod on his way past, Harry's gaze not leaving him until he was down the entryway and he'd heard the front door slam shut.

"Well, your boyfriend seems like such a pleasant bloke." Harry said sarcastically, pick it up his mug of tea and taking a long drag.

Skylar spluttered out a laugh as she set her own mug down and grinned over at him.

"Niall's not my boyfriend. He's a mate that lives in the flats across the road. What ever gave you that idea?" She asked, bewilderment coloring her tone.

"The way he acted towards you all the guy stuff in the bathroom." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

She stared at him a moment longer before snickering.

"No, I'm as single as they come. More worried about my studies than guys, if I'm being honest."

Harry nodded along in agreement as he chewed on a piece of bacon, swallowing before he asked, "What do you study?"

"I'm in my second year of pre-grad for veterinary school." She answered, picking at what was left of her eggs.

"Ambitious, yeah?" He asked, chewing on a piece of bacon.

"I reckon. Always wanted to be a vet." She replied with a shrug of her shoulders before picking up her plate.

She scraped the remainder off into the rubbish bin before depositing the now empty plate into the sink. She turned to face him, her hands gripping the the counter behind her as her eyes roamed across his features.

"The spare bedroom is made, if you'd like to stay until tomorrow. Did you leave your clothes in the bathroom?"

"No, I'll just be in my way of you don't mind. Been a bother to you long enough." He said, giving a firm nod in her direction as he got up from the barstool.

She frowned for the first time since he'd let her. It was something he found very unbefitting of her, making his heart give a tiny squeeze in his chest. He didn't think he liked it when she frowned.

"Please stay. Just for tonight, at least. I'll wash your clothes too so they'll be clean." She murmured, big brown eyes connecting to his own green ones.

He found himself nodding in agreement with her as he stood, too caught up in those for eyes to say no. She offered him another soft smile, gesturing for him to follow her. Which he did, down the hall and to the only door on the right.

The room was small, but felt spacious. A double bed was pressed against the wall across from the door while a dresser with a TV day along the same wall as the door, just down and to the left. A desk occupied the right wall, a small lamp placed on it while book shelves took up nearly the entirety of the opposite side. A large, navy blue area tug was placed in the middle of the room. It matched the bedding that covered the bed.

"You can stay in here tonight. I'm in the room just across the hall of you need anything and you already know where the bathroom is. Please, feel free to make yourself at home, Harry." Skylar murmured as he took in the room before him.

She reached out, fingers skimming the bare skin of his arm for the briefest of seconds before she turned and left him alone, her own door clicking shut behind her. Harry felt like he'd been electrocuted, goosebumps covering his skin from her touch while he heart swelled up with so much warmth and gratitude for the tiny blonde. He wished there were more people out in the world like her.

The thought made his heart pang in his chest. She reminded him so much of the kindness from his close family and friends following his divorce from Morgan. He shut them out, though. Too caught up in his world of booze and pills to really give a rat's arse about them and how they felt seeing him like that.

It was then that he decided that she was too kind to be out through that. Too young and too innocent. He'd made up his mind to leave first thing in the morning, slipping out into the cold February weather before she even stirred in her bed. She deserved far better than to be caught up in his world and he knew that once he left, her chances of ever running into him again were slim to none as long as he avoided the dingy little pub down the block from the library.

Harry slipped beneath the sheets, letting the smell of lavender lull him to sleep as he cocooned himself in the warmth of the bed for the first time in more than six months.

next chapter.