#last time i was involved in dbh related stuff

[undercut-mcqueer]

I used to want to know more about dbh but i was too lazy lol. Then i heard from multiple accounts the fandom sucked so i stopped wanting to

good on you anon, it's... bad. like. probably the worst fandom i've been in?

putting this under the cut bc i uh. went on a really salty rant and its long af sdmfsdlkf

like one of the most popular characters is a literal racist cop. yknow the character that was literally just THERE to bully one of the protagonists because he's an android, right? like a straight up piece of shit asshole character but nah. everyone loves him. he's fucking worshipped. and GOD FORBID you like north (one of markus's friends/potential girlfriend) because SHE SUPPORTS VIOLENCE AND VIOLENCE IS BAD.

like... yall literally. worship a character that tried to KILL another character because they are an android and then say a sexually abused android is WRONG to want revenge on humanity for what they did to her?

and dont fucking get me started on rk900. that bitch was there for less than 20 seconds in ONE of multiple endings and for some reason hes widely shipped with the racist cop, and thrown into just about every piece of fanwork ever. and theres also two fan films about said racist cop and the character that's literally just a recolor of one of the protagonists and might as well be an oc from deviantart.

like. this game has such a diverse, interesting cast of characters and everyone chooses to obsess over the asshole and the oc. what about the mentally unstable, abused android who just wants a friend? what about the human woman and her son who actively help androids cross the border to canada to seek safety? what about markus's friends, what were their lives like before jericho? there's so MUCH to explore in this game, and yet you only get the same content repeated over and over.

now excuse my shitty ramblings i just really, really hate the dbh fandom smfsdlf they ruined one of my favorite characters for me. i used to adore connor (and i still do like him) but now it's hard to think about him or write about him without thinking of the game and fandom he originates from.

thank FUCK the umbrella academy fandom isn't like this. can y'all imagine if people just started shipping harold jenkins and christopher the cube? and then someone made two fucking films about it???

[escapedchickens]

The Soapiest Moment

A prompt I wrote for @gavimp and I thought it would be fun to add here since it relates to the light side of the AU. The above picture is from me, while the other is from her. This is also the last DBH related post of this blog, as future ones will be on the side blog @yorkshire-androids-au

The Soapiest Moment Ever

By Canuck

Today is Sunday, and it is Babs’ turn to wash the bathroom. Willard tidied up the washroom out of habit, but drops it when he sees Melisha walking by the Hallways with an AX 0017 model. He looks back at the washroom before fetching Babs from the living room. The android waits patiently at the living, eyeing her little knitting projects. Humming a positive tune and looking around in a flighty look before seeing Willard approaching her. “Morning Willard, did you and the Missus have a good breakfast?”

“That I did, Babs. Are you ready for today’s chores?”

“Oh, I am more than ready, Willard,” She says happily as she stuffs the knitting project in her apron and picks up a basket of cleaning supplies. “What area am I cleaning first?”

“You will do the East wing today; it comprises one of our Bathrooms, the guest room, the den and reading area. If you can start with the bathroom, that will be ideal. You think you can be alright cleaning it?”

“Of course, that is what I am programmed to do: sweep here, wipe there, just making sure the house is a home.”

Willard nods as he guides her to the washroom. The washroom is not too messy, as he tidied up a bit earlier today, but he cannot help but feel guilty for leaving it in a state. “Some places could have been better but a little help would do. Perhaps you would like some help as well?”

Babs bobs her head to the side and enters. “Oh no thank you, I am sure I can get it done soon. What is life without a little challenge? I will let you know if I need something.”

“Of course, I’ll let you to it.” Willard nods and continues on the rest of the East wing of the mansion. Out of habit, he picks up any bit of papers lying around and place them in a bag for recycling. Next, he goes to the broom closet and neatly set the vacuum at the corner of the den, and a broom and dustbin at the reading area. It should be enough to make cleaning a little easier. He more or less feel accomplished at his part of the task, as he feels more involved in his androids tasks than just doing nothing. He hears a high-pitched yelp from the bathroom and runs to the room. Here, he sees Babs’ frilly dress sticking out from the edge of the tub while her feet are kicking up in the air.

Willard leans over to grab Babs by the hand and pulls her to her feet. He feels a slight slip under the floor and grabs onto the counter. Babs looks down and up at Willard, already with an apologetic look.

“Oh, I am sorry, Willard,” says the android. “I thought I was done with the bathroom until I noticed the grimy ring around it. It would be wrong to leave it. I really tried to scrub, but the thing is just so stubborn. I may have used more soap and chemicals than intended.”

Willard shakes his head and pats her hand “No worries, love, you were simply doing your job. The bathtub can be hard to keep nice and polished. But don’t fret, I could barely see it, you did quite well in the bathroom.”

“You think so?”

“I know so, Babs,” Willard place some paper towels on the floor and guides the AX 0017 model to the hallway. He picks them up and place them in the trash. “There you go, all clean. Now, how about we go to the next room?”

“I like that.” Babs goes to the corner of the den starts the vacuum. Willard watches the bot cleans with ease, taking up all the little bits of specks to her vacuum in one setting and turns off to empty the filter into the trash bag. She places the filter back to the vacuum and sweeps off the remaining dust with a small brush. From the shelves, to the floor. She notices Willard chuckling and gets up with a smile, laughing along with him. “What is it, Willard?”

“It’s just, seeing the soapy floor all over reminded me of something I did with Jack and myself.”

“Oh, what thing?” She picks up the trash and recycling bin to the next room. “Did he get clumsy with cleaning too?”

Willard laughs and picks up one bin. “Not really, but a lot of cleaning was involved, I’ll tell you while you clean the next room.”

“Sure thing!” Babs replies in a chipper tone. She enters the reading area and sweeps the floor. Willard smiles and grabs a cloth the wipe the shelves. “Soap on the floor reminds me of a time Jack and I attempt to do this silly thing with bath bombs.”

“Bath bombs? Oh, those little ball thingies that dissolves and makes the bathtub all colourful?”

“Yes, yes, those things. When Jack was around, he and I were getting into those things and enjoy watching them dissolve whenever we have some bath time. It feels like watching art in the bathtub. We were so into them, that we had the bright idea to see what happens if we release them all at once.” “All at once?” Babs pauses and looks at Willard in confusion, tilting her head to her right. “Won’t it make the bathtub messier than a faint ring?”

“Yes, I know, I know, but we let fun got in the way of common sense. That is not the craziest part though….”

The date was, June 28, 2027

We have a big box of bath bombs around the bathroom, and being silly young lads, we thought it would be interesting to see what happens if we have them dissolve all at once?

We had the water running to fill in the tub while Jack strips off his shirt and playfully shows off himself into black trunks before getting into the tub. He sinks in, taking into the warm water of the bathtub, when he looks up to me and asks: “Are you getting in, Willard? The water is nice.”

“No thanks, Jack. Someone has to be the dry party.” I laughed, watching him relax at the tub. I was wearing some grey trunks and an old t-shirt to keep me warm as we cranked the AC up. Next to Jack was a box full of colourful bath bombs, letting off a strong scent that combines flowers and citrus fruit. The scent was overwhelming but a simple wipe of my nose should help with that. Jack was just smiling widely, waiting for the time to spill in the bathtub. He was way too happy for this experiment. I turned on the camera and pressed record.

“Afternoon world, and family. I am Jack Tweedy and this is my brother, Willard Tweedy holding the camera. Say hello, Willard.”

I turned the camera to the mirror so I can see myself waving hello to it. I turn back to see Jack sitting up and holding the box already.

“We are going to do a small test on what happens if we place hundreds upon hundreds of bath bombs all at once. Before that, I should let you know that we have taken precautions and prepared our tub. Why don’t you show everyone what we did?”

“We place lots of towels and bath mats around the tub, we made sure no wires were around and no holes.  The caulk is very secure so no worries about leaks and mold. And more towels in case it got out of hand.”

“That’s right, Willard, safety is first.” Jack sits up and rattles the first box over his head. “Are you ready, Willard?”

“More than ready!”

“Last call to get in with me.”

I pondered for a bit, wondering if I should. I want to get a good shot of our first experience with this. It sounds silly to overthink this, but we are less likely to do this again. I have the camera sitting on the counter where I know it won’t fall on to the possibly wet floor and gently get inside the tub. The water became lukewarm, but it was a good temperature for me to get in. Having him in the tub certainly helps. We both counted down to the three and watch him pour all the bath bombs in the water.

It went as well as it imagined. All the bath bombs diffused, and it became a colourful bomb in the water. It was pretty to see all the colours spread out like a mosaic, hear that satisfying hiss of the balls getting smaller and smaller. It was fun to watch… for a while. Before then, we noticed that the bathtub was starting to flood the bathroom. Watching the foamy colours spill over the tub went from beautiful to surreal real quick. We anticipated the washroom floor getting wet, so we have some towels on the floor to soak up the water. But we did not intend for the water to over soak the towels to the point where it looks like the whole area is soaked. Next thing we knew, we watched the carpets getting soaked with water and rainbow foam. We grabbed all the dish rags, towels, and paper rolls available to stop it from getting all over the halls. But alas, it was moot, and we found ourselves in a soapy situation. The whole carpet was just soaked, it was squishing underneath us. But that is not the crazy part.

We go downstairs and see tiny drips going to the living room. They may be tiny but we will not risk having those little holes get any bigger so we have to grab any available container and get cleaning. We wiped them out as fast as possible while the bath drains. It took only two hours, but it felt like it took all day. Nonetheless, we had a good workout getting the place dry and a laugh about it. As for the holes, I did not want to risk getting mold in between the cracks, so we called a professional to help us out. As long as we don’t overflow the bath again, it should be fine. After a two weeks of just showers, we can finally enjoy the tub as we did as lads: relaxing side by side and drinking ciders.

“Aah, so, you can take baths again after you got your floor and ceiling all fixed?” ask Babs, mindlessly knitting away at this whole story.

Willard giggles and feels the soft wool project from his maid. “I do, just not as much. Baths became more like Melisha’s thing. I do enjoy it, it is just not just the same without Jack. We just chill, talk, have cold ones. With Melisha, it is different. Even with wine at our hands, we just sit there and talk about our day like business partners, not a couple. But hey, we worked together to get you this nice farm, right?”

Babs pause her knitting and looks over. Her LED circles yellow and taps her needles against her shins before resuming her work and the LED going back to blue. “Yes, yes, it is. Some things improved but I can’t help shake it off that things can be… different. I like my role and this farm, it's just something about it I can’t think off.”

Willard eyes the android, suspecting of her deviating. He cannot really tell since Babs’ chipper attitude and work ethic is part of her program, but the little things about something not right with them seems off. Perhaps she did deviate but it is not as abrasive as how Ginger or Bunty did. Just how many of his androids deviated? Five, twenty, forty? Maybe more than that. He rubs the bridge of his brow as he hears his wife’s berating him at the idea of them scheming.

“They’re only tools that look like people. They don’t scheme, they don’t organize or form unions. They can’t do anything! All they did is work day in and day out with little to no complaint. Get it to your head, Willard!”

Willard shakes it off and pats Babs’ shoulder, “We’ll see what we can do. If anything, just feel free to let me know. I promise that will take it to consideration and see what we can do. How about you finish the last room and go downstairs, yes?”

“Yes, Willard,” Babs have the farmer lift her hand as she stands up and picks up her cleaning tools to the last room. “You know, those little moments makes the silver lining a little brighter. Like, how the light seems shinier behind a cloud, making it easier to see than if it is just one big sun? Because you can’t look at the sun. It will damage both a human and an android’s eyes. Funny how we keep finding little things that we have in common.”

“I think it’s funny in a cute sort of way. Nothing to brash, right?” Willard hears a text from his phone and looks at it. He sighs and puts it away after a quick text. “Will you be okay doing today’s work by yourself?”

“Yes, Willard.”

“Good, I have to meet with Melisha for a side project. You take care now, okay?”

“You bet, see you later, Willard.” Babs says, waving goodbye, watching Willard going downstairs and out the door. She continues of the last room with her cleaning supplies handy and watches the water turn into a colourful soapy texture, as it reminds her of the story.