#last time i took stock there were like 40 chapters planned? that seems good

[starrysharks]

writing, writing... chapter 1 is mostly done and i really want to get to chapter 2 because it's onion's intro lol

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 15

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,900ish

Summary: Y/N begins her mission. Which means, Y/N meets her friend’s son, Tony Stark.

On the plane ride over, Y/N read the file. Tony Stark went missing in Afghanistan three months ago, after a weapons demonstration went wrong. She was tasked with protecting him, as his personal security detail, and finding out what happen during his missing three months. Before they landed, Y/N make sure that she was dressed in a suit with her gun and knifes hidden. The plan had been to meet Stark at the airport but, after they landed, Coulson and her were informed that Mr. Stark had requested a press conference be held at Stark Industries headquarters. They arrived at Stark Industries HQ before Tony did.

“Are you nervous?” Coulson asked her as the entered the room that the press conference was going to be held in.

“No,” Y/N lied, to herself and him. 

“It could be a long one. Last chance to back out.”

“I’ve got this Phil. I can do it… Even if it is Howard’s son…”

The employees and press went wild when Tony’s car pulled up. Y/N and Phil waited patiently for the man of the hour to enter and get to the stage before making a move. Tony’s right arm was in a sling, and he had scratches on his face. Even from the other side of the room, Y/N could tell that his eyes had seen horrors. Phil went up to Pepper Potts, Tony’s personal assistant, first.

“Miss Potts?” Phil said as he walked up to her.

“Yes,” she responded.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“I’m not part of the press conference, but it’s about to begin right now.”

“I’m not a reporter. I’m Agent Phil Coulson, with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

“That’s quite a mouthful.” Y/N chuckled at Peppers response. She wasn’t wrong, there needed to be a better way to introduce their organization.

“I know. We’re working on it.”

“You know, we’ve been approached already by the DOD, the FBI, the CIA…”

“We’re a separate division with a more specific focus. We need to debrief Mr. Stark about the circumstances of his escape.”

“I’ll put something in the book, shall I?”

“Thank you.”

Y/N was about ready to introduce herself to Pepper as well, when the press conference started. Obadiah Stane, who ran the company beside Tony, stood behind the podium while Tony was sitting on the ground in front of it, eating a burger. The more Y/N observed Obadiah, the more she didn’t like him. She couldn’t put a finger on it, she just didn’t.

“Well, let’s get this started, uh…” Obadiah struggled to know how to start the conference.

“Hey, would it be all right if everyone sat down?” Tony spoke up. “Why don’t you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can… A little less formal and…” Everyone listened, either sitting themselves on the ground or squatting. “I never got to say goodbye to Dad. I never got to say goodbye to my father.” 

Y/N immediately became very attentive. After Peggy had told her what had happened, she looked up the reports herself. Howard Stark and his wife, Maria, died in a car crash December 16, 1991. She cried over the reports as she read them. Howard deserved so much better. They all had.

“There’s questions that I would have asked him,” Tony continued. “I would have asked him how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.”

“Mr. Stark!” Reporters called.

“Hey, Ben.”

“What happened over there?” Ben, one of the reporters, asked. I had my eyes opened.” Tony stood up and moved behind the podium. “I came to realize that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International…” The whole room when into a frenzy. Standing up, with all the reporters asking questions. “…until such a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be.”

Obadiah stood up beside Tony, trying to calm the press down. Y/N looked over to see Pepper and Tony’s friend, Colonel James Rhodes, watch in shock. She took a deep breath, realizing that it was time for her to introduce herself. She walked up to the two, who were whispering to themselves.

“Excuse me,” Y/N said, getting their attentions, as she walked up. She held her hand out to Pepper. “I’m Y/N Barnes. You and Stark Industries hired me to be Tony’s personally body guard.”

Pepper took her hand, shaking it. “Oh yes, I’m sorry. I was meaning to call you to tell you where we were, but it seems that you’ve found us.”

“I’m very good at my job, Miss Potts.” Y/N dropped Pepper’s hand.

“So it seems. You know obviously my name. This is Colonel James Rhodes, Tony’s friend.” Pepper introduced.

“Colonel.” Y/N reached out her hand to him.

“Barnes.” He took it, shaking it firmly. Y/N tried not to flinch at the use of the last name she needed to quickly get used to. “Do Tony and Happy know you’re coming?”

“Happy does,” Pepper responded. “I was going to tell Tony at the hospital, but that didn’t go as planned.”

Y/N noticed, from looking over their shoulders, Tony leave the building. “Looks like Mr. Stark just left, with who I presume to be Mr. Hogan. I’ll go introduce myself to Mr. Hogan and Mr. Stark.”

Y/N walked outside of the building, slipping on aviator sunglasses as she did. She followed Happy and Tony to another building. Tony went inside, while Happy leaned against the car and pulled out a cigarette. 

“Mr. Hogan,” Y/N greeted when she reached him. “I’m Y/N Barnes.”

“Oh… the new personal guard.” Happy looked her over. “Mr. Stark will be impressed.”

“I’m not here to impress. I’m here to protect. Why aren’t you in there with him?”

“He asked to be alone.”

“I don’t believe Mr. Stark should be alone right now, do you?”

“You’re new here, so I’m going to give you the decency of this warning. If Tony wants to be alone, leave him alone.”

“And I’m only going to warn you once, Mr. Hogan. As Mr. Stark’s new head of security and personal guard, I will be telling him when he gets to be alone.” Y/N turned around and pulled open the buildings door.

“Good luck with that,” Happy muttered before the door shut.

As Y/N entered, she noticed Tony staring at the large machine in the room. If she wasn’t on a mission, then Y/N might actually care to know what it did. 

“Mr. Stark,” Y/N called as she stopped a little ways away from him. Tony turned, clearly checking her out once he was fully facing her. “I’m Y/N Barnes, your new personal security guard.”

“I’m good thanks,” he immediately said. “But I could personally use you else where.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I’m afraid you don’t understand. You don’t have a choice. Miss Potts and Stark Industries hired me once they heard of your return. They are concerned for your safety, understandably so.”

“And what makes you believe that you’re so capable of protecting me?”

“I’ve passed every government agency test with flying colors. Hold the records too. The rest of my resume is on your desk. Or your AI, JARVIS, right? I’m sure it could tell you the rest of my secrets.”

“Spit fire. I like it…” Tony checked Y/N out one more time, making her a little uncomfortable and reminding her a bit of Howard. “You can stay then.”

“I’ll make sure not to get in your way.”

Tony gave a slight nod, before going back to stare at the machine. Y/N stood near the doors, surveying how many exits and windows the place had. She tensed, resting her hand on the gun, as one of the doors open. She relaxed a bit, but only a bit, when she saw that it was Obadiah Stane. Y/N gave him a nod, with him returning one, as he walked in the building and up to Tony.

“Well, that… uh… That went well,” Obadiah stated.

“Did I just paint a target on the back of my head?” Tony asked, facing Obadiah.

“Your head? What about my head? What do you think the over-head on the stock drop is gonna be tomorrow?”

“Uh, optimistically, 40 points.”

“At minimum.”

“Yep.”

“Tony, we’re a weapons manufacturer."

“Obie, I just don’t want body count to be our only legacy.”

“That’s what we do. We’re iron mongers. We make weapons.”

“It’s my name on the side of the building.”

“And what we do keeps the world from falling into chaos.”

“Not based on what I saw. We’re not doing a good enough job. We can do better. We’re gonna do something else.”

“Like what? You want us to make baby bottles?”

“I think we should take another look into arc reactor technology.”

“Ah, come on. The car reactor, that’s a publicity stunt! Tony, come on. We build that thing to shut the hippies up.”

“It works.”

“Yeah, as a science project. The arc was never cost effective. We knew that before we built it. Arc reactor technology, that's a dead end, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Huh? Am I right? We haven't had a breakthrough in that in what? Thirty years.”

“That’s what they say.” Y/N watched as Tony studied Obadiah’s face. “Could you have a lousier poker face? Just tell me, who told you?”

“Never mind who told me. Show me.”

“It’s Rhodey or Pepper.”

“I want to see it.”

“Okay, Rhodey.” 

Obadiah and Tony glanced around, to see if anyone else was around but me, before Tony unbuttoned his shirt. Under it, he had a circular, metal plate sticking out of his chest.

“Okay,” Obadiah said, checking the surroundings again and buttoning Tony’s shirt up.

“Okay? It works.”

“Listen to me, Tony. We’re a team. Do you understand? There’s nothing we can’t do if we stick together, like your father and I.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads-up, okay? But if I had—“

“Tony. Tony, no more of this ‘ready, fire, aim’ business. You understand me?”

“That was Dad’s line,” Tony stated quietly.

“You gotta let me handle this. We’re gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now. We’re going to have to take a lot of head. I want you to promise me that you’re gonna lay low.”

With that, Tony nodded and Obadiah walked towards the doors, stopping next to Y/N.

“I’m assuming you’re the new security that Miss Potts hired,” he said.

“I am,” she responded curtly.

Instead of responding, Obadiah looked her over, nodding, before leaving. She carefully watched the man disappear. She did not have a good feeling about him. Not at all.

next chapter >

[justthehiddleswrites]

Follow My Lead | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 11 |  I love her and the sooner you get used to it, the better things will be.

A/N: This will update every Thursday.  There are 13 chapters.  There are all sorts of kinds of D/s relationships.  This is the one I choose to write this time.  

MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Vivian Swann)

Summary: Tom and Vivian have both been unlucky in love, searching for something outside of the bounds of a typical relationship.  When the two of them connect via a dating app, Tom is introduced to the idea of being submissive to Vivian.  Which is the one thing he never knew he needed.  Under the firm hand of Vivian, Tom learns what it means to submit and Vivian learns what it means to be in a loving dominant relationship.  But not everyone seems to understand what they have and the best intentions can destroy the strongest relationship.

This Chapter: Benedict keeps pushing on Tom, causing tension.  And Vivian visits the set and encounters an assistant who seems interested in Tom in a less than professional manner.  

Warnings for story: Dominant/submissive relationship (sub!Tom), lots of smut including but not limited to: vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), edging, denial, teasing, use of restraints, spanking, multiple orgasm, anal play, use of toys.

Tag Lists Are Open!  Let me know if you want to be added.  Thank you for reading!

-

“Did you and Ben have a good time?” Vivian asked in the car.

“We did.” Tom half lied. The time was enjoyable, but the constant prodding from Ben was beginning to grate.

“You’re lying.” Vivian crossed her arms.

“No, I’m not.” Tom dug his heels in on this. He could handle Ben on his own.

“Yes, you are. Is Ben giving you a hard time? And don’t lie. It’s so unbecoming.”

Tom sighed. “Yes, darling.”

“Want me to handle it?”

“No!” Tom retorted a bit too abruptly, earning a glare from Vivian. “I mean, no.” He tempered his voice. “I can handle Benedict. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“But I do worry.” She reached out and rubbed his neck. “It’s my job to worry.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gripped the steering wheel. “It’s nothing. I’ll speak with him.”

“Okay.” Vivian let it drop. For now. She switched on the radio and fiddled until finding a Top 40s station.

By the time they got home, jet lag hit Vivian full force. Tom sensed her energy dropped.

“Why don’t you go lie down and I’ll bring everything in, ma’am?”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you, darling.”

By the time Tom made his way to the bedroom, Vivian was fast asleep on the bed, fully dressed. He kneeled down and pulled her shoes off, placing them off to the side. He tucked her under the covers and made sure her head was sitting on the pillow. A quick kiss to the forehead and Tom took off to rehearse scenes for tomorrow and make a light dinner.

-

Vivian slept straight through the night and when she woke in the morning, Tom’s side of the bed cold. She wandered into the kitchen to find a note.

Ma’am,

I didn’t wish to disturb you. I know how difficult jet lag can be. You needed rest. I ate eggs, toast, and beans for breakfast. And coffee. The machine is ready to go for you. I texted you a morning photo and won’t forget to text you my lunch. I might be home a bit late tonight, long call sheet and what not. But I promise to text when I am on my way. Here is a list of some things you might want to do while I’m away. I love you.

Your sunshine,

Tom.

Vivian smiled as she found a list scribbled Tom’s handwriting of museums, spas, parks and restaurants along with his Uber account information.

“So thoughtful.” She grabbed her phone to find Tom flexing in his underwear in front of the mirror that morning, a big grin on his face. Vivian chuckled as she spied herself asleep in the background.

She typed back.

You are the most thoughtful man I have ever had the pleasure of spanking. Thank you, sunshine. You are definitely getting a reward tonight. And that photo is delicious. I might have to keep that one.

Vivian made a cup of coffee and a bowl of porridge with some fruit and set out to ready herself for the day.

-

Tom gulped as he spied Vivian’s email, grateful he was alone in his trailer waiting to be called to set and not in front of the crew or even worse, Benedict. He hoped for the ability to concentrate on the scenes and for an early ending of the day. Benedict had other ideas.

“Are you messing up on purpose?” Tom hissed as they reset once again.

“Sorry, Tom. I’m a bit distracted.”

“That makes two of us.” Tom muttered. He cleared his throat. “I have plans tonight I care not to miss.”

Benedict’s brows raised. “Vivian taking you off the leash?”

Tom jabbed his finger at his friend. “Stop with the jokes, Ben! They are neither appreciated nor wanted. I love her and the sooner you get used to it, the better things will be.” His nostrils flared.

Benedict opened his mouth, closed it and dropped his chin. “Sorry, Tom.”

“How would you feel if I spoke of Sophie in such a manner?” Tom countered, setting onto his mark.

“I would take your head clear off.” Ben reset too.

“Then consider yourself lucky. Now let’s get through this.”

Ben did better but still flubbed a few lines, much to Tom’s chagrin. It was unlike his friend, the consummate professional. Tom practically ran off the set when the last scene was done and beelined to wardrobe and makeup, hurrying the process along as much as possible. As his driver pulled away, he texted Vivian.

On my way, ma’am.

-

Vivian adjusted her bra and stockings as she waited by the front door for Thomas. His collar dangling from one finger. She couldn’t stop smiling as his key turned into the lock. Tom grinned as he saw Vivian standing there in a skimpy bra and panty set, along with garters and stockings. She finished the outfit with sky high heels.

“Welcome home, sunshine.” She purred, noticing his pants tenting already. “All your clothes off and into the basket.”

Tom’s hands were a flurry as he pulled his shirt, shoes, pants, and rest of everything off and folded it into the basket. He stood, shifting from foot to foot.

“You are so eager, sunshine.” She stepped in front of him. Her fingers tracing his abs and chest. “Are you ready for your reward?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He shivered as Vivian’s lips ghosted across his neck.

“Good boy.” Her lips hovered over the shell of his ear. Vivian’s hand squeezed his cock. “Let’s put this on.” She held up the collar and fastened it around his neck and then fastened a leash to it. Tom couldn’t help but smirk.

“And to think Benedict thought you were taking me off the leash.”

Vivian tugged on it and led Tom through the house to the bedroom. “On your stomach, sunshine.” She ordered him, unhooking the leash. Tom laid down, shifting uncomfortably against the duvet.

He jumped as something warm and wet dripped onto his skin. Vivian’s hands smoothed it out along his skin. She started at his neck and worked out all the knots as she moved down to his shoulders and ribs. Tom moaned as Vivian’s thumbs pressed into the indents above his ass.

“Your hands are…” Tom sighed. “… magic, ma’am.”

She gave Tom’s ass cheek a playful swat before kneading into them. Tom was certain if he were to roll over, there would be a wet spot on the sheets. His legs shifted open as Vivian’s hands slid down to his thighs. He whimpered a bit when her hands left his body. She dripped more oil onto his legs.

“Gooodddd…” Tom moaned. “yes…”

He stiffened as her hands wandered up. “Do you trust me, sunshine?” He nodded. “Remember your word?”

“Sushi.” he mumbled into the pillow under his head.

“Good boy.” Her hands massaged along his inner thighs and up along his ass. He sucked in a sharp breath when her hands settled between his cheeks and slid down to rub between his ass and his cock. His hips rocked and Tom shifted to widen his legs more for ease of access.

“Do you like that, sunshine? Do you like my hands there, rubbing?”

Tom grunted. “Yes, ma’am.”

Her hand slid up and her thumb pressed gently against his rear entrance. Tom jumped as pleasure shot through him like electricity.

“Fuck!” He bit down on the pillow.

“Very interesting.” Vivian moved back down to Tom’s thighs and calves. She swatted his ass again. “Roll onto your back, sunshine.”

Tom’s head was already fuzzy and heavy, but he rolled onto his back with a moan. As expected, a good size wet spot onto the duvet. Vivian grabbed a small towel and covered it. Tom’s cock bobbed as he settled onto the pillow.

Vivian clicked her tongue as she dripped more oil onto Tom’s thighs, rubbing her thumbs hard into the muscle. “Is someone aroused by their massage, darling?”

Tom’s hands tucked behind his head, his collar jingled along the way. “Yes ma’am.”

She climbed onto the bed, straddling his legs with hers. “That definitely needs to be taken care of. How would you like me to take care of it?”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “I… don’t understand…”

Vivian leaned forward, her boobs pressed against Tom’s cock. “I can use my breasts, my hand,” She jerked him once sharply. “My mouth.” She kissed his treasure trail. “Anything besides my cunt, sunshine. Your reward, your pick.”

Tom’s thoughts spun inside his head. “Uh… I don’t know…” Vivian waited patiently, seeing Tom panicking.

“There is no wrong answer, sunshine.”

He took a deep breath. “Um… mouth?” he questioned.

“Is that a question?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Mouth, ma’am.” He croaked out.

Vivian lowered her head and kissed along his shaft. His hands flew to her head. She stopped and rose. “No hands, sunshine. I will stop each time you touch me.” Tom quickly replaced his hands behind his head.

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”

She returned to placing kitten licks along his shaft. Vivian loved how Tom squirmed. She kissed and licked the tip, tasting the saltiness of his precum before taking him into her mouth. Vivian sucked hard and Tom bucked his hips. She released his cock with a pop.

“Do I need to restrain you?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tom commented without thinking.

His eyes widened at his response. Vivian pushed up and walked to the dresser and pulled out some scarves. She made quick work of tying them to the bed frame and then tying the scarves to Tom’s wrists and ankles.

“Too tight?” Tom tugged and shook his head. “Good.” Vivian crawled across Tom’s body to kneel next to him. “Where were we?”

She quickly took Tom back into her mouth and sucked in earnest. Tom gasped as he came in Vivian’s mouth. She swallowed and smiled. Vivian kissed up Tom’s torso before kissing his lips. She tasted of him, tasted of salt. Tom tugged against the scarves, but they held tight.

Vivian sat up and tugged Tom’s head up by the o-ring on the collar. “Eyes on me.” She adjusted the pillows under his head.

Tom’s eyes tracked her movements as she stood and he assumed would untie him. Instead, she walked to the end of the bed. His brow pinched together. “Aren’t you untying me?”

“Eventually.” Her hands slid up her legs.

“But my reward—”

“—is over when I say so.” Her hands reached around and unclasped her bra, allowing her breasts to softly fall as she dropped the bra to the ground. Vivian squeezed her tits, pinching the nipples. “So what will it be this time, hands or breasts?”

Tom’s cock twitched as Vivian continued to play with herself. “Ah… ahh.. breasts? Breasts.” He corrected himself.

Vivian turned around and grabbed the massage oil, dripping it along her chest. She smeared it along her skin, pressing her boobs together. Tom was already semi-hard watching her.

“God, sunshine… already?” She crawled back onto the bed. “You are full of surprises.” She crawled on top of him. “I’m untying your hands, you may only touch my breasts.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Vivian made quick work of the knots and slid back down Tom’s body, kneeling between his legs.

Tom settled his cock between her well-oiled tits and pressed them together tight. He thrusted between them and groaned. Tom continued to buck his hips and his release fast approaching.

“Look at me.” Vivian called out.

Tom gazed down to find her intense hazel eyes piercing into him. She opened her mouth and licked the tip of his cock, even sucking the tip slightly. The whole thing was too much for Tom and he came with a stutter, making a mess all over Vivian’s chest and neck before collapsing against the mattress.

Vivian grabbed a towel from the dresser and cleaned herself up a bit and then snagged the bottle of water and untied Tom’s legs, rubbing his ankles.

“Sunshine?” She sat next to him on the edge of the bed. Tom didn’t respond. Vivian cupped his cheek and shook him gently. “You need to sit up and drink, sunshine.”

Tom’s eyes opened, and he murmured. Vivian helped him to sitting. She held the water bottle out and scratched up and down his back. “Thanks.” He gulped down the water.

“You okay to stand up?”

Tom nodded. Vivian stood first and offered her hand. He was a little wobbly on his legs. She kissed his temple, smoothing the hair stuck to his skin.

“Take a shower and clean up while I heat up dinner.” Vivian undid his collar and placed it on the nightstand.

“Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her cheek and made his way slowly to the bathroom. Vivian chuckled, tugging on a robe, as Tom resembled a fresh born foal standing for the first time.

He emerged about twenty minutes later, his hair wet, wearing that short bathrobe Vivian bought him that first night he stayed over. Tom no longer tugged at the hem. Vivian set his plate down at the table, a simple dinner of chicken, potatoes, and veggies. Tom sat down and took a bite and moaned.

“That is delicious.” Tom tucked into the food as Vivian ate slowly.

“Chew, darling. Chew.” Vivian chided and Tom slowed down.

“Sorry. This is way better than takeout.” Tom mumbled as he swallowed his food and took smaller bites.

“You are not the only one in this relationship who can follow a recipe.”

They finished up the meal and Tom cleared the plates and Vivian opened up the fridge. She pulled out a Tupperware container.

“What’s that?” Tom glanced over his shoulder.

“Dessert.” She opened the lid to reveal chocolate cake.

“Did you bake that?” Tom raised an eyebrow.

“Perhaps.” Vivian smirked. “Or perhaps I picked it up at the store.”

Tom peered into the container and stuck his finger into the icing before offering it up. Vivian popped it into her mouth, licking his finger clean. Vivian collected icing and cake on two fingers and pressed them against Tom’s lips. He sucked against them, laving his tongue to devour every morsel. He moaned and leaned towards Vivian as she removed her fingers.

“More please.” Tom purred.

“I love when you beg.” Vivian scooped up more icing and Tom lunged towards her fingers, repeating the process. He whimpered when she removed her fingers a second time. “I think you’ve had enough fun tonight. You have work tomorrow.”

Tom’s eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around Vivian’s waist while she put the cake back into the fridge. “Speaking of work,” He pushed her hair out of the way to kiss her neck. “would you like to come to the set tomorrow?”

Vivian leaned against him. “I won’t be in the way?”

“Nonsense. You can see me shoot some scenes, have lunch with Benedict, meet some people, I can show you off…” Tom chuckled against her.

“I think I have just the outfit. I would love to.” She spun in place and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Any shirtless scenes tomorrow?”

“No?”

“Good.” She ripped his robe open and attacked his chest.

-

Vivian didn’t realize how god awful early Tom woke in morning until his alarm went off.

“Noooo…” she groaned, rolling to tuck into his body. Tom kissed her lips before rolling out of bed.

“I’m afraid the answer is yes. How about I shower first and then make some coffee?”

Vivian groaned something unintelligible. Tom took that as a ‘yes’ and set about getting ready for the day. He showered and set about making a quick breakfast and coffee.

“Darling?” He rubbed Vivian’s back. “It’s time to get up.”

“But I’m on holiday.”

Tom chuckled. “But I’m not. Now drink the coffee while I finish breakfast.”

Vivian sat up and sipped the coffee, sweet as she preferred. It was warm and comforting. Tom set down a plate of toast and eggs. Vivian ate and then headed to shower and dress for the day while Tom finished getting ready. His jaw dropped when she emerged from the bedroom.

“I am definitely showing you off today.” Tom moved to wrap his hand around her waist to kiss her. “Wearing that. Or perhaps I lock you in my trailer?”

“You like?” Vivian spun. Her dress was low cut in the front and a slit up her leg to the knee. It was flirty and showed off her curves. “Not too much?”

Tom kissed her again. “You’re always too much, ma’am. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Vivian tugged on her go to wedges and a sweater as Tom grabbed his bag and they headed out for the day.

Vivian leaned against Tom in the back of the car, still groggy from the early morning wake up. Tom tucked his arm around her, enjoying her warmth with a smile. Her eyes fluttered closed for a quick nap.

“Do I need to stop off somewhere for some coffee, Mr. Hiddleston?” his driver asked, seeing Vivian in the back.

“No, Matt. It’s fine. Just mind the potholes.”

Matt nodded. “Yes, sir.”

When they arrived, Tom nudged her awake. “Darling, we’re here.”

Vivian jolted awake. “What?! We are?!” Her eyes darted around, taking in the surroundings.

Tom smiled and jogged around the car to open her door. “I felt it best to let you rest. I’ll show you around before heading to makeup.”

Tom showed Vivian where his trailer, craft services, the set and other things were before introducing her to Madeline.

“Madeline, meet Vivian.” The young girl extended her hand.

“Pleasure. I’m here to help you out with anything you need.”

Tom kissed Vivian’s cheek. “I’m off to get ready, Maddy, make sure she is taken care of.” Tom winked at Maddie, who blushed in response. Vivian shifted her weight.

“Of course, Mr. Hidd—er, Tom.” Maddy giggled and Tom took off.

Maddy linked arms with Vivian. “You look like you need some coffee.”

Vivian gave a small smile, not sure if she was just insulted or not.

-

By lunchtime, Vivian was certain Maddy had insulted her. The young woman mooned over Tom at every turn, even in front of her. Tom, to his credit, seemed either oblivious or immune to her overtures. But that did little to sooth Vivian. After watching Tom for a bit, she left to return to his trailer and sulk.

Tom walked into the trailer carrying two plates of salad and chicken, still wearing the Loki wig.

“Darling, is everything alright? Madeline mentioned you took off.”

Vivian bit her tongue, not wanting to spoil Tom’s energy. “I wanted to rest a bit. I was in the way.” None of it a lie.

He set down the food and moved to kneel in front of Vivian, rubbing her calf. “I’m sorry, darling.” His eyes twinkled. “I know how to make you feel better.” His hand slid higher on your leg.

“You need to eat.” Vivian teased.

“Yes, I do.” Tom rucked her dress up and pushed her knees apart. Vivian sighed as he kissed her thigh. His lips trailed up to her core and his nose nuzzled against the fabric of her panties. Her fingers laced through the long hair of his wig and tugged his head over.

“No teasing.” she hissed.

“Yes, ma’am.” Tom hooked his finger through her panties and pulled them to the side.

He wasted no time to lick along her, earning a moan in return. Tom moved his other hand, but Vivian pushed it away.

“No hands, darling.” she breathed.

Tom sucked hard against her clit and she came undone with a soft scream, knowing others could be outside. Vivian pulled him up by his head.

“Thank you, love.” she hummed, content for the moment. “We are definitely growing out your hair. Easier to tug.”

Tom chuckled, burying against her chest. “Yes, ma’am. Beard too?”

“Beard too. Now let’s go eat.”

Tom hopped up and Vivian followed.

-

Vivian’s mood improved, but the lingering feelings of possessiveness clawed at the back of her brain. Tom would never act on such flirtations. She was confident in his devotion to her. But seeing younger women hanging over what was hers upset her. And she realized what was missing. And planned to remedy it as soon as they got home.

Tom gave a weary smile as they climbed into the car late that evening.

“Why don’t you lay down in my lap, darling?” Vivian offered, tucking her sweater into a makeshift pillow.

Tom complied and dozed off with Vivian, stroking his hair. He was asleep in five minutes. Vivian woke him as the car pulled up to the house.

“Darling, time to wake up.” she cooed in his ear. Tom nuzzled against her and blinked his eyes open.

“I fell asleep?”

“You were exhausted.” Vivian slowly eased him to sitting. “Go inside and lie down, I will bring a quick dinner to you.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tom exited the car and Vivian followed.

Tom headed to the bedroom and Vivian made him a quick sandwich, which he gobbled down.

“I’m sorry I am not up to doing much.” Tom shrugged his shoulders as Vivian took his plate.

“You have had a few big days.” She kissed him. “It’s fine.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“I’m going to sit up and watch some TV.”

“Can you…” Tom hesitated. “… stay here? Until I fall asleep, at least? I sleep better with you here.”

Vivian smiled. “Of course.”

She curled up next to him, Tom wrapping his arms around her. His chin settling into the crook of her neck. He dozed off any in about fifteen minutes, and Vivian carefully extracted herself to finish up her evening.

-

The next morning, Vivian followed Tom out to the kitchen, carrying something behind her.

“Madeline flirts with you.” she stated.

Tom glanced up from his plate. “She does? I guess so. I haven’t noticed.”

“It’s not just her. Susannah and Sarah do too. In fact, I don’t think there was a single female crew member I saw that was immune to your charms.”

Tom smiled. “I must attract them with the energy I give off as a man in love.” Tom attempted to smooth out the tension.

“I don’t like it.” Vivian blurted out. “You’re mine.”

Tom’s eyes widened. “Of course, I’m yours. You’re not doubting us, are you?”

“No.” Vivian pulled the box out from behind her back.

“That’s the ring, isn’t it?” Tom stood and closed his hand over the box. “I’m yours, ma’am.”

“You are mine, sunshine.” She opened the box.

Tom’s eyes welled up. “Yes, ma’am.” Vivian handed him the ring, and he slipped it on his left ring finger. “Perfect fit.”

“It looks good. On you. I expect you to wear it at all times outside of the house, unless working on set in costume.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tom kept gazing down at the ring and spinning it on his finger. He kissed Vivian. “I’ll finish getting ready.”

She grabbed him by the neck and kissed him roughly. “Now you can go.” she commented as they parted.

-

Benedict is insisting we need to come to his house for dinner tonight. Can we?

Vivian frowned at the message. She tapped out a message.

Ben wants Tom and I to come over tonight for dinner. What’s going on?

Sophie immediately responded.

No clue. But the more the merrier. I think the boys have an early finish today. 7 p.m.?

Deal.

Vivian texted Tom back.

We can. Sophie says 7 p.m. Meet you there.

Tom responded with a heart emoji and pocketed his phone.

“Vivian says yes. She’ll meet us over there at 7.”

Benedict frowned as he ate his lunch. “I’m glad she approved.”

[kaitycole]

chapter two: how it all began

Summary: Two little friends have always desired one thing: to end up as siblings. So when the chance presented itself after a finalized divorce, who were they to decline such an opportunity to finally bring their parents together?

Pairings: Bokuto Kōtarō x f!Reader

Word Count: 2577

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Mentions of divorce, cheating, cussing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this series. Part of the @babythotshq​​ Dearest Daddy Collab

Tags: open (send me an ask to be added!)

October 2018

Jess wasn’t sure if she should take Bo up on his offer, her mind had her convinced that it was just him being friendly. He saw the way he had looked at you and yeah, he said you had just gotten married, but that doesn’t mean feelings just fade.

She had pulled up his contact several times in the two weeks since she’d gotten it. Since she wasn’t familiar with Osaka or Japan at all, there were no run-ins with him which Jess couldn’t decide if that was good or bad.

It was a rainy Friday when she finally texted him; her thoughts had caught up to her and it dawned on her that no number of miles would cure the pain in her heart.

The adult part of her understood that people are busy and Bo wasn’t ignoring her, he is a pro-athlete after all. But the other part of her, the part that isn’t so mature, chalks up the 20 minutes that passed as he didn’t really mean his offer.

Bo was finishing up in the locker room after practice, he pulled his phone out of his bag before stuffing in his practice clothes. He was on his way out when he finally glanced down and saw two notifications.

Y/N: Just wanted to remind you that I won’t be able to text until next Friday! I’ll bring back souvenirs! (4:05 pm)

He didn’t reply, it was painful to hear about your honeymoon and to be fair he didn’t really want a souvenir either; some constant reminder that you were with someone else. Not to mention all you talked about was how much Youta wanted to start a family. Yeah, he really didn’t need that reminder.

He did perk up however when he saw the second text, one from an unknown number.

Jess: Hey. It’s Jess. (3:12 pm)

Bo quickly noticed that it’d been over an hour since Jess texted him and he panicked. Should he call her or text her back? He groaned when he got to the main exit only to see it was pouring and he once again forgot an umbrella.

Bokuto: Hey! Just got out of practice, sup? (4:40 pm)

Jess smacked the palm of her hand against her forehead, instantly feeling dumb for not realizing it sooner. She stared at her screen, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Jess: I was wondering if your offer was still available? (4:44 pm)

A huge grin spread across Bokuto’s face as he read the message. It no longer mattered to him that it was raining heavily as he walked to the bus station or that he’d have to shower again when he got home.

Bokuto: ‘Course! When are you free? (4:50 pm)

Jess: Sunday? Noon? (4:51 pm)

Bokuto: See you then! (4:52 pm)

Saturday was spent texting Bo most of the day, eagerly deciding where they should go. They ended up agreeing to go to the Shinsaibashi district once Jess mentioned needing to pick up a few things for her apartment. They were both surprised when they learned they lived in neighboring complexes, just a short walk to the others.

On Sunday, Bo all but bounced his way to Jess’s apartment. He had mentioned their texts and conversations to Kuroo who was almost as excited as Bo was; Kuroo liked you, he always had, but he didn’t like seeing Bo so hung up on you and Jess gave him a way to let you go. Jess opened the door and was taken back for a moment, the last time she’d seen Bo he was post-game sweaty in a volleyball uniform, but here he was in her doorway wearing tight black jeans and a hoodie taking her breath away.

Bokuto smiled when saw Jess dressed up; when they met she had on a pantsuit, but here she looked more comfortable. She had one a maroon knee-length dress, stockings and brown boots, accompanied with a scarf; her brown hair was down and curled.

“Ready?” He reached out his hand.

“Ready!” She took his hand as she shut the door.

*                      * A few hours shopping around Shinsaibashi and Bo’s hands are full with most of Jess’s bags. She swore to him that she really didn’t mind carrying them, they were hers after all, but Bo wouldn’t hear it. What kind of gentleman would he be if he didn’t help? She has a few new pieces to add to her wardrobe, a couple of picture frames for prints she wanted to hang up and a few beauty ideas.

He motioned for her to head to a café, sitting her bags in a spare chair at their table.

“You sure there’ll be room in your apartment for all this?” He teased.

Her cheeks burn red as she tried to hide her face with the menu, “I’m sorry. I could’ve gone shopping on my own. I’m sure you don’t want to waste a day off running errands.”

He waved her off, “It’s fine. This is fun. My only plans were to watch TV.”

“Oh. I guess I thought you might hang out with Y/N.” Jess smiled at the waitress as she ordered.

Bo quickly ordered what Jess had, not really paying much attention the mention of you had thrown him for a loop. “I…uhm…she’s out of town.” He cleared his throat, “Honeymoon.”

“I…I am so sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything!” Jess’s eye widened instantly feeling awful. “Wow I just keep messing up today.”

“It’s fine. Really.” He took a sip of his water, “I’m having a lot of fun.”

Jess bit her lip before she began to pick at the croissant she had ordered. Bo ate quietly too which was odd for him but he really wasn’t sure what to say.

“So?” They both spoke at the same time causing them both to laugh.

“You go first.” She offered with a small smile.

“What brought you to Japan?” Bo asked, mouth slightly full of croissant which makes her laugh for a second.

She fiddled with her napkin, her mouth dried slightly. “Can I speak freely?”

Bo cocked his head to the side, not fully understanding, “Of course.”

“I guess you could say I have a Y/N of my own.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “His name is Mark and for years he told me that when he fulfilled his goals, he’d finally be ready for a relationship. Well six years is a long time and 5300+ miles seemed far enough to start over.”

Bo nodded, part of him was glad that he met someone who understood, but the other part, the bigger part of him hated it because no one deserves to feel that way.

“Well, Mark sounds like a dick, but I am glad that it brought you here. I like you.” Bo smiled, noticing her cheeks turned bright pink.

“I like you too.” Jess smiled.

*                      * It didn’t take long for Jess and Bo to become attached at the hip; after the first few hangouts they quickly learned they had a lot in common. And for the things they didn’t have in common? They just taught each other about it.

The moment she expressed interest in volleyball, Bo jumped on the opportunity to teach her; even bringing her to the gym to show her a few moves with Hinata and Kuroo. The latter spent most of the time teasing Bo by flirting with Jess, even picking her up when she assisted in a block. Kuroo lived to pick on Bo, but he was happy Bo had someone in his life to help him get move on. He even managed to snap a photo when Bo picked up her, cheering with a sparkle in her eyes when she spiked a ball.

When Bo mentioned that he had always liked plants but couldn’t seem to keep on alive, Jess jumped on the chance to help him. Her apartment was filled with various types of plants; flowers and herbs and Bo loved listening to her go on and on about them. She went out and bought pots, soil and seeds and made it a challenge to see who could grow their plant the tallest; Bo quickly accepted and then in the same breath overwatered the seeds. Jess gifted him a fake plant short after.

Mid-April 2019

“Are you sure I look okay?” Jess asked, for the fourth time since Bo picked her up. They were sitting in his car outside of Kuroo’s apartment. Just like the other three times, he assured her that she looked beautiful.

“You’ll be the best looking one there.” Bo smiled as she rolled her eyes at him. He wasn’t lying, based on what Bo heard from Kuroo it was mostly just going be you, Jess, Bo, Kuroo and Kenma.

She looked down at her outfit one more time; dark blue skinny jeans, a pale pink flowy top with a thin gray sweater. She knew she’d looked fine, this was her go-to outfit back in California, but for some reason she didn’t feel confident in it. Maybe she should’ve worn her black ankle boots instead of her chestnut brown ones.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Bo opened her door, reaching his hand for hers. She gave him a straight smile as he pulled her into a hug. Breathing in his woody scented cologne instantly relaxed her; sandalwood quickly became a scent she yearned for since meeting him.

He lifted her chin with his index finger, making eye contact with her, “You look stunning. Stop worrying so much.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead causing her to smile.

He intertwined his fingers with hers before they walked into Kuroo’s apartment. Kuroo quickly answered the door.

“HEY HEY HEY!” Bo shouted in reply to Kuroo’s “HEY HEY!”

“Hey, Kuroo.” Jess smiled and then blushed when Kuroo grabbed her free hand, kissing the back of it.

“You know you can call me Tetsu.” He winked which caused Bo to pull Jess into the apartment, muttering that Kuroo worked just fine. Bo knew Kuroo was doing it to get under his skin, he wasn’t clueless, but Jess meant the world to Bo and he wanted to protect her. Kuroo was one of his closest friends and yeah, he trusted him, but Mark was still constantly on Jess’s mind. She needed more time to heal.

You were sitting on the couch when Bo and Jess walked in. You smiled at the pair, noting that Bo was still clinging on to her hand and how he had stiffened at Kuroo’s suggestion for her to call him by his first name.

After failing to agree on where to go to enjoy the night, Kuroo suggested seeing which set of best friends knew each other better. Kuroo clearly feeling that he and Kenma would have a landslide of a victory. Kenma shrugged since Kuroo took his gaming console and hid it which Kuroo and Bokuto took as agreeing. Bokuto was game for anything to show off his competitive side and to beat Kuroo.

The only issue was who would be Bokuto’s partner. Jess awkwardly stared between everyone not wanting to step on anyone’s toes.

“Bo, you can have Jess and Y/N. You’ll need all the help you can get.” Kuroo winked at Jess.

“It’s fine, I can sit this game out.”  Jess said, holding her hands up. “I’ll pick the questions to ask.” “Oh no, it’s fine.” You smiled at her, “I don’t mind seeing what you got.”

“Are we gonna have a cat fight?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow which gained a glare from you, an elbow to the ribcage from Kenma and Bo shaking his head.

“No. I just think it’d be fun. If I play, we’d smoke ya!” You teased Kuroo, sticking out your tongue.

“What do ya, Jess? Be my partner?” Bo smiled and you couldn’t help but see the way Jess’s face flushed as she nodded before moving to sit next to him.

You watched the two of them scoot closer to each other, Bo’s hand resting gently on her thigh as if that’s the most natural thing. Bo was a touchy person, you weren’t blind to that but it made you feel…jealous?

Once upon a time, during the first year you met Bokuto, you developed a crush on the two-toned haired boy. You thought that you had been obvious about it and had dropped hints, but Bo never seemed to reciprocate it or catch on. So, you moved on, leaving the idea in your first-year classroom.

“Y/N, ask the first question!” Kuroo shouted.

“Hold on, hold on.” You scrolled on a website until you found what you were looking for. “Okay, we’ll start with Team KuroKen: What’s your best friend’s favorite food?”

“Easy peasy! Apple pie!” Kuroo smirked, knowing he was right.

“Grilled Mackerel.” Kenma sighed, clearly uninterested.

“Correct!” You cheered. “Now for Team Bess.” “Bess?” Jess scrunched up her face.

You shrugged, “All I could think of on short notice.”

“Cool name or not, we’re gonna win!” Bo wrapped his arm around Jess’s waist, pulling her tighter to him. “Jess’s favorite food is mashed potatoes.”

Jess grinned towards you, “And Bo’s is BBQ meat.”

“C’mon Y/N, give us a hard question!” Kuroo begged.

The four of them continued to answer question after question until both teams had a tied score of 20. You began to smirk to yourself when you found the perfect question. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Jess, she seemed nice enough, but Bokuto had been your best friend for years and you didn’t like the fact that someone thought that six months was long enough to act like they knew Bo.

“Here we go, perfect question.” You winked at Jess, “What was the last movie your best friend watched?”

Team KuroKen quickly answered and a confident Kuroo started gloating about how they already won.

“Bo last watched Coco!” Jess exclaimed.

“Actually, it was (your favorite movie) a few weeks ago when I was upset.” You shrugged with a smirk on your face. Jess got up, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

“WE WON!” Kuroo shouted before teasing Bokuto that maybe he’d have better luck next time.

“Kuroo, calm down.” Kenma sighed.

“No, Y/N, it was Coco.” Bo stood up, shaking his head, “We watched it together a few nights ago.”

“Well,” you stammered, crossing your arms. “How was I supposed to know?”

“You could’ve waited until I answered.” He let out a deep breath.

“That doesn’t make her your best friend.” You all but shouted.

“I can have more than one best friend.” Bo started walking towards the bathroom to find Jess. “You do, you have Youta, right? Why can’t I have Jess?”

Kuroo let out a low, awkward whistle before Kenma shook his head, heading into the kitchen.

“Youta is my husband. Jess is just...Jess. You’ve known her less than a year.”

“But you always said you’d marry your best friend. And so what? Jess is important to me, that should be enough for you to accept her.”

He walked down the hall, knocking on the bathroom door before gently opening it. He found Jess sitting on the side of the tub, tears in her eyes. Bo kneeled in front of her, pulling her into his arms, apologizing.

“Guess I should’ve just picked the questions, huh?” She laughed and a small sob mixed with it.

Bo started to laugh, “You’re something else, you know that?”

Previous/ Masterlist /Next

[ohblackdiamond]

liner notes/unused joke summaries for kiss fics (part iv)

Despite what my general dislike of the shift key and my tendency to mock all that I love might imply, I actually overthink everything I write to a great extent. I make no claims to these explanations being in any way enjoyable, but if you wanted to know what I was thinking while writing KISS fic… now you do. Part one can be found here. Part two is here. Part three is here. 

little t&a --If Paul had boobs, they would be big and Gene would want to grab them.

>>Title from a Rolling Stones song of the same name; most of the chapter titles are from another Stones song, “The Spider and the Fly.” I started it during quarantine as a means to occupy myself and destress, and didn’t initially plan on posting it at all. Once I’d written five chapters without having posted it or mentioned it to anyone, I figured, well, I guess this might as well go somewhere, so I put it up. I had the hope that it’d give me something to strive for during the stress of lockdown, and I’d assumed that I wouldn’t ever have that much time to devote to a story again.

There were a couple of things that really inspired me. I’ve always enjoyed sexswaps as a bit of a guilty pleasure, but wanted to do a different take on them-- there’s this tendency for sexswaps to either be wacky hijinks or an excuse to write particularly brutal noncon. There’s also a tendency for the sexswapped character to almost automatically start adopting stereotypically feminine traits he didn’t have prior, with no real reason for it. I wanted to try and avoid all that as much as possible.

... There’s also another tendency for the sexswapped character never getting back to normal, and I wanted to avoid that, too. I mean, c’mon, KISS is supposed to start the Love Gun tour a month after the fic. Paul can’t exactly pull the trigger of a love taco. (Maybe gently brush it a bit...)

I had Paul already cursed for five days at the start of the fic because I thought it would make things easier and allow the plot to advance more quickly. I also felt like it would give him more autonomy-- prior to Gene showing up, he has tried (albeit in small ways) to get a handle on what’s happened to him, and while he’s hermited it up, he hasn’t given up. Autonomy in general was pretty important for me re: Paul. (Incidentally, probably one of my favorite things about this fic is that Paul’s made that poor twelve-year-old kid on his bike buy him sanitary napkins.)

I wanted to explore a couple of other things, too, mostly rock and roll’s (and KISS’ in particular) pretty heinous treatment of women. Gene and Paul argue in the eighties that groupies know the score from the beginning, and even postulates that those relationships are more “honest” than just taking a girl out to dinner. They’re not alone in this (and, of course, as married men, these days they try not to discuss those times at all); almost every band/artist from around that time period will give you the same answer. “The girls know what they’re doing.” I think many of them did know. I also think many of them came into those hotel rooms expecting a lot more than they ever received, and I think plenty of girls ended up at the very least disappointed by their encounters, if not humiliated or worse.

I don’t know if this was successful, but I also wanted to at least try to poke a few holes in celebrity/idol worship as well. Carol’s scathing comments to Paul-- “they [fans] think there’s something you’ve got that they can get at, but there’s not” pretty heavily exemplify behavior I’ve seen at conventions, fan meet-ups, etc. At the end of the day, well, there’s no point in putting them on much of a pedestal. I dunno. I’ve seen some weird crap in the name of fan worship, in and outside of RPS. Keith Richards talks about it in his book-- girls urinating on themselves out of sheer nerves/excitement just at seeing the band, etc., which, while disturbing, had to have given them a sense of being something beyond ordinary (and act accordingly, of course).

I don’t know. I like them a lot, but I can’t hero-worship these guys; they don’t live in the real world. They’re not, ultimately, relatable or accessible despite the billions of photos, the twitter posts, the meet and greets-- any more than they were 40-odd years ago. I think there can be a real danger in thinking they are. I wanted to show that, too, but again, I don’t know if it came across properly.

One of the aspects I really struggled with was getting a good handle on Paul’s innately slippery sense of identity without it overtaking the story entirely. Gene’s very stable identity was a good foil, and it helped that most of “t&a” is from his point of view, rather than Paul’s.

Another place I faltered with was Paul’s outing alone at CBGB. The first draft had the guy in the club slip quaaludes into his drink, but I really didn’t like that at all and felt it took too much control away from Paul/punished him for going out on his own. I thought it’d be more interesting if Paul deliberately took what he knew was a dangerous combination (alcohol + quaaludes) in the hopes that would make him feel better about sleeping with someone he didn’t care about.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, having him do that (and the way the scene with the guy at the club ends) also meant that I couldn’t have him hop right into bed with Gene that night, either, so that accounts for some of the delaying. I was also really wanting to make sure in general that when Gene and Paul finally did go all the way, there wasn’t any feeling of being coerced or pressured. Not that Gene would do either of those things, but I didn’t want him or Paul to be doing it out of any feeling of obligation or hurry; I wanted it to be as natural as possible, under the circumstances. And I wanted, again, Paul’s dubious sense of self and Gene’s ambiguous feelings about Paul(’s boobs) to come into play-- yes, Paul, now you, too, can take Gene on the amazing technicolor dreamdate you’ve been fantasizing about for the last seven years! Or, you know, not. Overall, there are some pacing issues and the story slows down considerably after Gene takes Paul home from CBGB, but I like to hope that most of the scenes add something.

There were a couple of secondary plotlines that got scrapped because I couldn’t get them to fit well enough with the narrative. One of them was Paul’s very troubled relationship with his sister, Julia. There’s a fair amount of references to her scattered throughout, and Paul brings her up on several occasions, generally without much provocation, and generally at mildly odd moments (at Central Park and immediately after getting drawn by Gene being the standouts). There was an initial draft of the chapter in which Ace calls Paul, where Julia’s the one calling Paul instead (after having gotten his number from their parents). I wanted to at least get the start of a reconciliation going between them. Ultimately I scrapped it because I couldn’t get it to flow with the main plot and never felt like I’d ever explored it thoroughly enough for it to be worth a detour.

The comparison between Paul and Carol is pretty blatantly obvious, even in the narrative. Paul and Gene both recognize it (Gene, initially, when he notes that Carol doesn’t seem to belong at 54 any more than Paul does), and it makes them highly uncomfortable. (Mary-Anne, Carol’s friend, also notices it-- “she [Paul] reminds me of Carol. Just pitiful.”) They’re both very shy, insecure people that have thrust themselves into a world they’re not naturally suited for (show business) in order to achieve their own ends. They’ve both put great stock in a single person who helped them (inadvertently or not) during a dark time, and are driven by those feelings, despite knowing that person is out of reach.

Physically, they’re intentionally mostly opposite (Carol’s short, with a slight build, lighter hair, blue eyes, vs. Paul being, well, Paul-- tall, fuller build, black hair, brown eyes). But narratively speaking, neither of them are described as beautiful; “cute” and “kind of pretty,” sure, but nothing past that (except when Gene says it towards the end). That was important, too, for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to further the comparison between them; two, I wanted to at least try and dispel the idea that all groupies were glamorous; many of them were rather ordinary-looking.

Paul not being “playboy material as a girl” was very deliberate. I feel like a lot of sexswaps tend to make the guy in question end up a ridiculously hot babe, which didn’t quite jive with what I was going for (not that I wanted Paul to end up awful-looking, but...). ... He’s probably hotter than he thinks he is though; at least, Gene didn’t mind at all, and Pete thought he was pretty. I wanted him to be recognizable if one knew where to look (face, body language). I didn’t want him to end up a tiny, frail-looking waif-- given what he looks like as a dude, that didn’t make sense to me. So this meant the less perfect attributes had to stay and carry over to a female body. He ended up with big boobs because... well, honestly because if he wasn’t going to end up with a great figure overall, he might as well have great boobs. And I mean, really, his chest’s already pretty all right as-is.

I didn’t want there to be a love triangle, but I did want it obvious, at least in an offhand way, that Peter and Paul had had sex (Ace mentions it in the car with Peter, with his “how long did it take you”). I wanted to incorporate Ace and Peter to as great an extent as possible in general.

Marbas is an actual demon from The Lesser Key of Solomon, although other than the few sentences Paul reads off from that grimoire, there’s not much more information on him to be found. 

[minah-delacroix]

At any price (Part II)

Universe: Dynasty AU

Characters: Minah, Sungjae, Tyler, Jane, Tara, Ashleigh

Word count: 3,7k

The ambush

“Your office is coming together” Tara took an appreciative look around as she walked through the transparent double doors into Minah’s and Tyler’s new office. The room was a spacious and very luxurious penthouse Tyler had picked with Minah’s demands and taste in mind. 

So far it was decorated in white, all clean lines that contrasted with the dramatic floor-to-ceiling French windows offering a magnificent view of the Thames. Across the room, there was a well-stocked bar and a golden cart with empty buckets of ice. Tara inspected the shelves and a smirk came across her lips when she noticed her brother’s favorite brand of scotch and Minah’s rosé of preference on them. “But I have to say it, Minah,” Tara said “I thought you’d work from home, this office still has a lot of work to go through”  she raised a suspicious brow as she sat across her friend

“What can I say?” Minah shrugged giving her a strained smile. “I love this place already” There was no need for Tara to know Minah had been spending most of her time in that office simply because she couldn’t stand to see Sungjae at the manor. Not the mention that Christmas season was fast approaching and horribly enough every tradition in the Delacroix household reminded Minah of him, the comforting sandalwood smell of his home and-

“Only you would plan a party in 24 hours to prove a point” Jane Durand’s voice resounded in the almost empty room, forcing Minah to push the memories of Sungjae away and refocus on the present day and the reason why she’d called her friends in the first place.

“Well, it’s a launch party, it’s supposed to be fast,” Minah said matter of factly, pulling a list in meticulously neat handwriting from her leather journal. It was a list of people she’d carefully curated, keeping in mind that her company was supposed to be leading a whole new generation of fashion pioneers.

“Why are you really doing this?” Jane suddenly asked, throwing a quick glance at Minah before letting her eyes wander around the place and eventually land on a picture of Tyler and Tara that rested on top of his desk.

“To get the company the attention it deserves?”  MInah’s mouth twisted into a lopsided smile as she distractedly scrolled down her tablet “To woo new clients?” She spoke as though the answers to Jane’s questions were obvious, but her friends were still looking at her, eyebrows furrowed, concern evident on their faces.

“Hmmmm” Jane lips pursed as she eyed her best friend with disbelief.

“Why are you always hmmm-ing me?” Minah questioned defensively. The last thing she deserved was to be ambushed by her own friends or get interrogated for something as harmless as a party. 

Truth be told, the party had a lot to do with the fact she needed a distraction from Sungjae and very little with her business advancements, but no one needed to know that and especially not the people in front of her. Jane would tease her mercilessly about pining over an “insignificant assistant” and Tara would probably get offended on behalf of her brother. After all, it was Minah who chased Tyler for business. Tara’s next words proved her point.

“I just think it’s a strange coincidence that you’ve openly rejected my brother more than once, but the moment Ashleigh hooks up with that assistant you’re totally not having sex with, you’re back to focusing on Tyler” Tara bit down on her lower lip.

“Minah just goes where the attention is” Jane attempted to help her friend out, but Tara only grimaced, eyes widening in disapproval.

“That’s so off”

“Hmmmm”

Whatever the humming was meant to mean, Minah rolled eyes at her friends. “Ok, are you gonna help me plan this party or not?” 

Tara sighed, shaking her head half amused, half irritated as she took the tablet from Minah’s hands “Is this the guest list?”

“Where’s Ethan Smith or Lennox?” Jane questioned, craning her neck to check the list.

“Or any of Tyler’s contacts?” Tara peered at Minah questioningly.

“I need to introduce him to bigwigs we can make business with” Minah began explaining although it didn’t seem like she was making a good job at convincing Tara because the young woman was still frowning at her “Tyler’s taken a lot of loses with that tech startup fiasco, which makes a lot of his old contacts losers”

“That is tech, Minah” Tara shifted on the chair, looking at Jane briefly as if asking for her support on this one.

“Losers turn into winners with one idea” Jane shrugged casually.

Minah shut her eyes and took a deep breath “Fine, I’ll invite Tyler’s contacts”

“See? You can be a team player” Tara patted Minah’s hand, smiling at her like a proud mother who’d just successfully taught her child an important life lesson.

“Hmmmm” Minah let out a noise that barely expressed any feelings, but her friends took as a first victory.

The guest list

Minah had lunch with Tara and their friend Enzo in the trendiest and most exclusive restaurant in London, but there was no two hundred pounds unsatisfying dish or company good enough to stop Minah’s mind from diverting to that last conversation with Sungjae and the pain streaking through every now and then. Everywhere she went, she felt haunted by memories of Sungjae that just wouldn’t leave her alone. Minah was willing to admit she missed him desperately, but that wouldn’t stop her from simultaneously hating his guts and wishing she had the determination to leave Delacroix Manor. Or at least close the chapter of her life where Sungjae was a main character.

“I’ve been getting texts all day” Minah’s thoughts were interrupted by Tyler walking into the office, mouth easing into a bright smile that contrasted with the frowns Minah had been on the receiving end of, for the last couple of days. She’d been busy enough to wonder or actually care about Tyler’s mood swings, but she couldn’t deny she felt somewhat relieved to know Tyler was back on his good side “People are actually excited to come” He was so plased that he didn’t even called Minah out on the fact she’d cancelled their weekly strategy with the lukewarm excuse of “not feeling good”.

“And here’s the menu.” Minah pushed a piece of paper across the table when Tyler sat in front of her “The chef is a good friend of mine and I got the mixologist from the Home House”

“Nice” He nodded in approval, but his face suddenly fell into something more like what Minah had been getting over the last couple of days —silent judgment, sadness?, maybe a bit of resentment even—.  “And the guest list?”

Minah offered her tablet silently and Tyler scrolled down for a few minutes, nodding in approval every once in a while.

“You know what? Maybe we should add Harry Cheng and Henry Shanks” Tyler suggested casually —maybe too casually. “I just heard they’re in town” At Minah’s lack of response or at least a sign of recognition of their names Tyler went on “They founded the whole-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who they are” Minah said with an eye roll “I tried to poach them when I was at DG“ she explained with a strange gleam in the eyes “I took them to Jean-Georges at The Connaught and then in the middle of dinner they turned me down. Of course I went ballistic and-“ Before she could tell the whole story, Tyler chimed in looking unexpectedly amused.

“I might’ve heard that story” He smirked “Wait, no I read it on Forbes when they landed on the cover.” Tyler said, putting emphasis on the words Forbes and cover. “Something about you threatening to crush them into nerd sauce”

“Ok, well, I’m not wrong” Minah watched Tyler press his lips together, a vague sign of disapproval . “Look, these guys think pocket protectors are high fashion”

“All I know is they developed a body heat adjusting textile we need desperately for the next collection” Tyler stared at Minah for what it felt like forever and she refused to look away, their interaction fraught with tension until Minah spoke

“Well, I try not to operate from desperation” she replied naturally, a slightly forced smile on her face.

“Yeah?” Tyler’s voice turned grave “Well, I want them there”

The pair exchanged looks. Minah’s eyes searched his in an attempt to find out if he was just putting a façade, but at the lack of evidence she just gave in with a deep weary breath.

“Minah, what’s more important?” Tyler’s expression softened, reaching to grab her hand across the desk “Your pride or this company?”

Minah didn’t think such an obvious question deserved an answer.

The baby

The Lee siblings’ residence looked like another mansion with white walls and glass front, but once people made it through the main iron gates, there was a domineering and intimidating aura that made everybody realize how utterly powerful the their family was. Even for people like Minah who’d grown up basking in luxury, their residence resulted praise worthy. However —quite predictably— the grand lengths Tyler had gone to decorate the venue of Envoûté’s launch party had people gasping and ‘ooh-ing’ once they began filtering into the gardens of the manor.

Although it was nearly winter, the place looked as though time had frozen in spring, with gigantic spirals of pink and purple lysianthus and stargazer lilies flanking the patio and flowers suspending from the fake ceiling Tyler had installed just in case rain poured. The crystal chandeliers emitted a slight coral glow that offered a romantic and enchanting ambiance.

Music flowed capriciously across the gardens as the last rays of the sun filtered through the ceiling, giving an angelic glow to even the most unwelcome guests, like Maude Olivier who was talking to someone Minah thought looked awfully familiar.

“You liked it?” A voice behind Minah spoke. She turned around to see Tyler, clad in a black velvet suit —with the huge embellishment of a dragon on the side—, offering her a glass of champagne.

“Every major player under 40 in fashion joined” Minah smiled genuinely for what it appeared to be first time in weeks. “I can’t believe I am saying this, but you outdid yourself, Lee” She added, looking at the music ensemble, eyes focused on the masterful and magical execution of the electric violin. 

“And you even got me my fashion tech geeks” Tyler commented proudly, referring to Harry Cheng and Henry Shanks, who looked like a couple of lost puppies at the bar, awkwardly holding glasses of floral gin “They look like they could use an apology” He said teasingly, moving dangerously close to speak into MInah’s ear.

Minah blamed the shivers down her spine on the backless Marchesa dress she was wearing and the cold weather outside the garden structure, so she only shook her head, both as a response to Tyler’s question and as a reminder that she’d been rejecting his advances for nearly a decade. There was no reason to change that now.

“I guess they’ll have to wait for that” she shrugged with a smirk “It’d be rude not to greet the guests first”

Tyler gave Minah a judgmental look, but she ignored it, climbing up on stage, making the music stop and the attention to immediately turn on her.

“Hello everybody” From that position Minah could recognize some familiar faces among the very chic crowd, Tara, Jane, Jaehyun, Mark, Adela Kim, the Deveraux brothers, even some of the old clients of Delacroix Group and a few celebrities. “I would like to be the first welcoming you to Tyler’s house” Applause broke out. Though Minah felt all eyes were on her and Tyler, she joined in clapping politely. “I have a very important announcement to make….” It was just then when Minah recognized who the woman talking to Maude Olivier was: Ashleigh, who now had Sungjae’s arms wrapped around her. “Tyler and I are having a baby” she blurted out of the blue, causing the crowd to lapse into silence and Sungjae to look over in her direction, expression unreadable  “Well, technically we already did, Maison Envoûté” Everybody automatically relaxed, laughing and clapping. “And while it’s not a literal baby, this new step means just as much to me” This, Minah said it sincerely, eyes moving to find Tyler leaning against a cocktail table, his sister patting him in the back. “I am proud to introduce you to my new family, starting with my brilliant partner, a man who trusted me with his money, brand and the only man I’d trust with my baby, Tyler Lee”.

The faux-job

“So you’re telling me you’re not upset that Ashleigh showed up?” Tara asked, her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised in concern.

“Or that she brought the guy you’re not sleeping with?” An equally concerned Jane handed Minah a glass of chilled rosé and looked at her closely, as though she were expecting her to show symptoms of a disease at any moment.

“It's fine they’re here” Minah said unconvincingly. She downed the glass —the fifth of the day— and clung tightly to the Marie Antoinette coupe, so much she was surprised the glass didn’t crack in her hands. Minah’s mind wandered a bit at that, the image of a deep cut and her hands bleeding non stop suddenly invading her brain. It was almost like a scene from some horror thriller, one of those she was so fond of and Sungjae considered morbid. “I didn’t even noticed they were here” she shrugged.

“But-“

“Just drop it, girls” Minah said sternly., acutely aware of the way her friends were looking at her —a mixture of pity and exasperation. “I said I’m ok” Minah waved to one of the waiters dressed in Tiffany-blue frac coats and picked another drink from the tray he offered. She downed it without hesitation, the bubbles pickling on her tongue.

“For god’s sake, Min, slow down” Tara whispered scandalized.

“I think I actually need something stronger” Minah looked around just on time to catch Sungjae kissing Ashleigh’s forehead. “Do you want anything from the bar?” She asked. Not waiting for her friends to reply, join or stop her, Minah turned on her heels and walked away. She waved and smiled at the people greeting her and politely dismissed some others who attempted to start a conversation, until she bumped into Harry Cheng and Henry Shanks.

“Oh, you two made it” Minah forced what might have been the millionth smile of the day.

“Yeap”, Henry replied with a grin. “And we brought a bottle to celebrate that our stocks are selling at 20 dollars today” he bragged, showing off a bottle of something Minah couldn’t even recognize. Some tacky drink she supposed.

“You said we’d never get over 10 without the Delacroix Group behind us” Harry remarked, smiling viciously at Minah.

“Yeah, I remember what I said, Harry, or Henry whichever one of the two you are” She said peering at the bar just behind them “I have no time to reminisce about the past. Today is supposed to be about the future.”

When Minah made it back to where she left Tara and Jane, holding two glasses of mojitos that were practically 90%tequila, none of her friends was to be found and Tyler seemed engrossed in a conversation with Leo Dyson, someone important enough for their business, but a jerk who didn’t how to accept no for an answer.

Minah leaned on a cocktail table checking her phone, waiting for anyone to rescue her from standing around uselessly.

“Nice party, Minah” The incarnation of Minah’s worst nightmare spoke coming from behind her. Ashleigh Hastings materialized, her skinny frame clad in a tacky champagne silk slip dress that Minah would’ve probably used as pajamas in the worst of her days. “I didn’t expect you to invite me”

“And I didn’t expect you to show up” Minah deadpanned. “Especially not with a date” She added wondering where Sungjae was “Cling much?”

“Obsessed much?” Ashleigh sniggered “Why can’t you just accept Sungjae dumped you? Can't you recognize a healthy relationship when you see one?”

“I don’t care the slightest bit about your relationship” Minah said slowly, trying her best to remain collected.

“Good” Ashleigh grinned “You won’t mind Sungjae is taking me on a little vacation along with his family, then” She announced, lips twisting into a snarl. “We’re going to Bristol this weekend"

Minah remained unimpressed although disturbing images of a bleeding heart were now assaulting her mind, “Well, if you even last that long”

“Don’t be bitter” Ashleigh laughed “You must have know that the whole assistant with benefits situation had no future”

“And you think yours it’s fated love?” Minah chuckled, free from any real amusement. “I doubt he recognizes you in broad daylight” Even Minah had to admit that she was surprised at how calm her own voice sounded. She mentally patted herself in the back.

“Look who’s talking” Ashleigh scoffed “Did you ever think that maybe you two never were official because Sungjae didn’t want to be seen with you in public?” That one was a low blow. Not even the alcohol in her system helped deaden the pain crushing Minah’s heart. Suddenly overtaken by the curiosity and doubt, Minah allowed her eyes to scan the place desperately, looking for Sungjae until she found his silhouette —she would’ve recognized Sungjae in a football stadium— inside the house, phone pressed to his ear.

“You know, normally I like to get the last word, but tonight it��s not about personal grudges. It is about business” Minah threw a quick disgusted glance at Ashleigh dress “And despite it all, I hope you’re mature enough to recognize where the future of fashion is” She then turned her back on her, adrenaline going through her veins when she noticed Sungjae moving to another room of the house and with the satisfaction of knowing —without even looking— that Ashleigh was fuming.

“You look like you could use some company” MInah closed the door of one of Tyler’s guest rooms behind her, briefly startling Sungjae who was still on the phone and quickly made an excuse to cut the call.

“What are you doing here?” Sungjae asked, unsure of what was going on and clearly confused by Minah’s presence.

“I could ask the same question” Minah said, expression hardening “I didn’t think you could be this petty, coming to my launch party with Ashleigh”

Sungjae looked down. If Minah knew him as much as she believed she did, he seemed ashamed.

“You’re doing a great job at making me jealous if that’s what you’re trying to” Minah smirked viciously.

“I’m on a date with my girlfriend, this has nothing to do with you, Minah” Sungjae didn’t even look at her, and Minah chose to believe that he didn’t want to risk giving into her. Minah knew exactly how to taunt him and the way she was standing, back against the wall, the straps of her dress barely in place were just too much for him. She knew it.  Not even Sungjae’s rock-solid resolve would be enough to resist her.

“No, you’re doing this to get back at me” Minah insisted, her hands moving to grab Sungjae’s, to which he didn’t refuse. “I know you’re upset about the other day and I’m sorry about it. I really am.”

“I don’t want your apologies” Sungjae muttered, voice hardening although his eyes were fixed on Minah’s body.

“Tell me what do you want, I know whatever it is, I can give it to you” Minah made Sungjae’s hands hold her by the waist and she leaned in to kiss him. They were so close that Minah momentarily worried Sungjae might hear the beating of her heart against her ribs.

But Sungjae pulled away from Minah suddenly, looking angered.

“Stop it, Minah” He shook his head “You’re being ridiculous, sex is not gonna get you out of this one”

“That’s what you’re saying, but your body says otherwise” Minah attempted to draw close to him, but Sungjae gave a step backward.

“Minah, whatever you’re under the impression you’re doing, it’s not gonna happen,” He said firmly “It’s over between us. You didn’t even want a relationship in the first place.” Sungjae pulled the door open.

“You never invited me to spend time with your family” MInah pouted, not even understanding where all those accusations and resentment were coming from.

“And you never introduced me to your family as your boyfriend” Sungjae countered back.

“Because they would’ve fired you” She replied as though it was beyond obvious.

“I could’ve got another job!” Sungjae raised his voice, startling Minah and sending her a sharp eye before turning around to leave.

“Sungjae-“

“Don’t pretend you care now, Minah” cut her off “You didn’t catch feelings overnight”

Minah’s eyes burned but she just dug her nails into her own palms. Somehow hurting herself seemed like a better idea than letting Sungjae see her broke down. “You seriously think I never cared about you?” Minah scoffed offended, pushing past him to leave the room and get back to the party.

Minah bumped into Ashleigh as soon as she stepped into the living room and it was clear that she was looking for Sungjae. That’s exactly why Minah licked her lips and pretended to fix her dress, smirking at the woman when Sungjae walked out of the same room.

Once Minah joins Tara and Jane back in the party, she watches amused how Ashleigh crosses the garden, tears streaming down her face, but the satisfaction is short-lived as she realizes Sungjae is chasing after her. Minah takes another swing of champagne and drags Tara and Jane with her to the dancefloor. The crowd parts for them, leaving the space in the middle of the room.

“I thought you forgot this was meant to be our party” Tyler yells over the music, pressing yet another flute of champagne into her hand.

“I would never, Ty” Minah drinks from the glass without even realizing what it is until she swallows. She stumbles forward into Tyler’s arms and smiles seductively at him, raising her arms and wrapping them around his neck. Then she closes her eyes letting all the haunting memories and hurtful comments from the day wash down with the rain that starts to pang against the fake ceiling, coating the transparent glass with thick raindrops.

...

[allie1804-fan]

New Beginnings (Chapter 11)

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

Warnings:mentions of babyloss

For the remaining weeks of the pregnancy Emily and Keanu made a pact to check in every day on how they were each feeling. Their short-hand was to say whether they were at O (Optimistic) or SS (Scared Shitless) or maybe somewhere in between.  A day wasn’t to go by when they didn’t check in on their status.

Emily continued to work until her 36th week after which it became too much to sit in a writers’ room all day long.  She needed rest  for her brain and body. Keanu was still training but he’d cut down a little so he had more free time to spend with Emily as well as run her to appointments and oversee the decorating work to transform one of the guestrooms to a nursery.

 The day after the session with the counsellor he’d hired a van and collected the crib and other equipment from his mother’s house determined to stop thinking of everything he did as a potential jinx.

Midwife appointments were weekly from week 34 – that was a little more than the norm but they both needed that reassurance as the baby’s movements got less with time – quite a normal pattern but not easy to deal with in their situation.

At the childbirth classes, Keanu was visibly more relaxed as well which helped Emily feel she could join in with conversations rather then hover on the edges to protect him. At one session the leader asked the parents to share their fears. Emily could sense Keanu visibly tensing and she caught his eye, subtly shaking her head and he nodded his agreement knowing exactly what she meant.  Their main fear was the same and they had no desire to freak the hell out of everyone else there. They could just agree with someone else’s comments.

As they worked round the room, the leader asked Claire and Aiden, a couple Emily had liked from the beginning but not really talked to much, how they were feeling.

“well I really don’t want to bring everyone down”, Aiden said “but our biggest fear is that our baby dies, because our first was stillborn”

There was a sharp intake of breath from some and a sigh of relief from Keanu and Emily!

When it came to them, Keanu was able to say “We’re on the same page as Claire and Aiden and I think they’re really brave to share it in a room like this. I lost my daughter to stillbirth 21 years ago and we had an ectopic pregnancy last year, so yeah, that’s our biggest fear too. Rationally  I’m confident it won’t happen but that doesn’t entirely stop the fear”

He looked at Emily who was kind of thunder-stuck to hear him share so openly with a group of strangers. He was so private normally but she knew speaking its name was a big part of helping him conquer the fear. She squeezed his hand and whispered ‘I’m so proud of you’ in his ear.

When the  session was over, everyone stood chatting and Keanu went over to Claire and Aiden

“Listen, we were planning on grabbing a bite to eat after, do you fancy joining us? I know a place where they do  really good noodles”

Aiden burst out laughing.

“’Really good noodles’ like in the Matrix?” he asked making air quotes.

Keanu chuckled, only then realising what he’d just said.

“Oh yeah sure - you remember that line?”

“Man every time I have noodles I think of it -  am I too much of a Matrix nerd to have dinner with you two?”

“Nah,  no man, it’s cool  - and thanks”

Emily caught Claire’s eye and rolled her eyes skywards, smiling broadly at Aiden geeking out with Neo!

They headed over to the Jinya Ramen bar and had a good time getting to know each other a little better. Keanu repeated how brave he thought Aiden had been to speak up.

“I mean I was sitting there thinking “death man, death is my fear but that’s gonna fuckin freak them all out so I’ll just say some generic crap and then you were like ‘bam’

Aiden laughed.

“the things is, it really is my only worry and I thought, you know what, shit happens and people are scared of it so let’s just cut the crap and stop pretending!”

“Fair enough” Keanu agreed

“But you were brave too, being who you are, to just open up like that”

Keanu took a gulp of his beer

“Yes I don’t quite know what got into me, that was err, most unprecedented!”

They all burst out laughing then, recognising the Bill and Ted quote.

“Yes way” Aiden said clinking his beer to Keanu’s who grinned back thinking to himself “I like this guy”. Emily looked on, secretly thinking ‘bromance!’

By week 37, they were basically at the clock watching stage. Everything was ready and Emily spent most of her time reading,  watching TV or sleeping.  If Keanu was home when she took a nap, he’d join her and spend the time stroking the bump or leaning his head against it talking softly to the little one who’d usually make his or her presence known with a little shove of one if its limbs. Sometimes they’d kiss and pleasure each other though Emily was struggling to move easily so everything was tender and low key rather than intense. Neither of them really minded, their focus was all on meeting their child in just a few weeks.

Chloe had organised a Baby Shower, the hospital bag was packed and ready, the nursery was waiting stocked with nappies and neutral coloured baby-grows and a sort of birth plan was ready but they both knew they would have to go with the flow on that one.

“control what you can, like a playlist and speaker, your snacks, what t shirt you’ re going to wear and have an idea of your other intentions like pain relief and so on but just go with the flow  on the day” was Chloe’s wise advice.

Through weeks 38 and 39, Emily had lots of false alarms when the Braxton Hicks contractions felt like they were the real thing beginning but still nothing materialised. They were well into week 40 when things actually got started.

It was mid morning on a Wednesday and while Keanu had confirmed that the contractions were in fact regular and he’d let the hospital know, they wouldn’t have to go in until 1 minute long contractions had been coming every 5 minutes for at least an 1 hour.  For now it was every 10 minutes but varying in length and intensity. Emily chose the living room to either lie down or pace or sit on a birthing ball or hang onto Keanu’s broad shoulders to help breathe through the pain. At its worst, it felt like a really bad period pain or indigestion for now so mostly she could cope on her own and that’s kind of how she preferred it. She felt a bit like an animal, wanting to go into a quiet corner and have her baby out of sight of everyone!

By lunchtime, the pains were definitely getting more intense but still only coming every 8 minutes. Keanu made them a sandwich then at around 2 she got her maternity swimming costume on and spent an hour floating in the pool. The sensation was soothing  - they were hoping it would still be possible to use a birthing pool at the birthing centre but it wasn’t guaranteed. It would depend on her condition and if they were all in use by other mothers. Even Keanu’s money couldn’t guarantee a pool unless they had done it at home and neither of them had been of a mind to do that  - they wanted every medical expert right on hand.

As evening was falling,  the contractions actually seemed a little milder and were still only at 8 minute intervals so they ordered pizza take out. Later on Emily had a bath and to her annoyance, things were still no further on come bedtime so they settled in for the night wondering if she would sleep at all.

4am Thursday morning

Emily woke with a start as a strong contraction tightened her stomach and made her groan with pain. Keanu sat up straight away – he’d been sleeping but only very lightly at her side all night and so was quickly fully awake.

“was that a big one?”

Emily nodded but didn’t speak since she was managing the pain by slowly breathing through it, kneeling up slightly and grabbing onto the headboard of the bed.

She relaxed when it was over thinking there’d be a few minutes wait for the next one but it seemed to hit very quickly and she shot Keanu a nervous look.

Breathlessly she asked Keanu to get his phone to check the gap.

“Fuck that was just 4 minutes he said, wide eyed as the next one came “ we gotta go”

Fortunately, she hadn’t got into nightwear, so they just needed to slip on some shoes, grab the bag, get in the car and go.  Keanu was still a little freaked out that they had missed the 5 minute gap point but he knew in his rational mind that 4 minutes was what most advice said and they’d  simply gone with 5 minutes to be super cautious! And it was still early and pre rush hour so there wouldn’t be any traffic.

As they set off and Emily gripped onto the door handle as another contraction hit, she joked

“just don’t drive like John Wick or Jack Traven OK!”

“No mam” he grinned glad of her lightening the mood just a little.

The empty streets and soft grey light across the city helped to calm them both down and within half an hour they were pulling into the birthing centre car-park.

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

[katedoesfics]

Shadows of the Yiga | Chapter 40

It was late when they returned to the ranch. Aryll hurried to the window when she heard the sound of an engine coming down the dirt driveway. With a yelp, she ran to the front door and hurried off the porch and outside with the others following close behind. She stopped, her heart racing, as the SUV pulled to a stop. She watched as her brother stepped out of the passenger side. He was rolling his eyes and firing back at Revali, who stepped out from behind him, but he was cut short when Aryll threw herself against him.

“You're welcome,” Revali said smugly as he walked by. “Revali saves the day once again.”

Link slouched slightly, too tired to argue, or do much of anything, really. He was exhausted from the trip. Not only that, he couldn’t even remember the last time he good anything close to a decent night’s sleep. The last few weeks were such a blur, he could have slept for a hundred years. He yawned loudly and wrapped his arms lazily around Aryll. His gaze moved to his father, standing near the barn with his hands in his pockets, and he offered him a tired, reassuring smile. When Mipha stepped forward, he turned his attention to her. For the first time in what felt like a long time, he didn’t feel afraid to be near her.

“What happened?” Aryll asked, looking up at him. “Are you better?”

Link shrugged as another yawn escaped its hold. “Guess so.”

Aryll frowned. Her eyes narrowed on her brother. “You guess so?”

“Can we talk about it in the morning?”

Aryll rolled her eyes but didn't argue with him. She reached for Mipha, pulling her into their hug. Link allowed himself to lean against them slightly and sighed.

*****

For the first time in a long time, Link slept through the entire night – even late into the morning – without any trouble. It was near noon when he finally rolled out of the bed, still groggy. He trudged through the old farm house, following the voices he heard downstairs and into the kitchen. He hesitated around the corner, listening in.

“Hyrule’s army won't stand a chance against the Yiga Clan,” Paya's voice said. “This needs to be handled delicately as with Ganondorf and his army.”

“It would be nice to go into this with some kind of back up,” Revali said.

“As far as my father is concerned,” Zelda started, “we are traitors. He won't help us.”

“He won't abandon you,” Mipha said. “You're his daughter.”

“As long as I'm on Link's side,” Zelda said. She hesitated. “He doesn't trust Link.”

“We don't need him,” Riju said. “We've done this before without him, we can do it again.”

“We?” Urbosa echoed.

“Yeah!” Riju said. “We!”

“We don't even know how many of them there are,” Daruk said. “We may not stand a chance.”

“We didn't stand a chance before,” Revali said. “That's the thing about superheroes. They beat all odds.”

“Except we're not superheroes,” Daruk reminded him.

“I beg to differ. You don't get super powers and not call yourself a superhero.”

“Link doesn't have a superpower,” Riju said.

“You're right,” Revali said. “Which means we all need to work extra hard to protect his lame ass.”

“You shouldn't have gotten rid of Dark Link. At least he was good for something.”

“Yeah,” Revali said. “He would have kicked our asses.”

Riju shrugged. “I like a challenge.”

Link looked down the hallway as footsteps approached. Aryll rounded the corner, stretching her arms over her head. She smiled when she saw Link, then hesitated when she saw him against the wall. She cocked her head to the side and leaned against the wall beside him. She searched his face, but he was staring hard at his bare feet.

“So,” Daruk started. “It sounds like either way, we're screwed. We'll be severely outnumbered with no back up.”

“I'll talk to Grandmother,” Paya said. “She won't abandon us. Neither will King Roham. I'm sure of it.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Zelda muttered. “He's disowned me.”

“What's he going to do?” Revali said. “Lock us up if we show our faces?”

“Probably. He can be petty like that.”

“I'll show 'im,” Riju said. “He'll think twice about messing with me!”

“Threaten him,” Urbosa warned, “and you'll definitely never see the light of day again.”

“Hmph.”

“So,” Mipha started. “What do we do?”

The room was quiet. Aryll slouched against the wall, frowning. She sighed, then pushed passed Link and walked into the kitchen.

“You kick Yiga ass! Isn't that what you guys do? Fight the bad guys?” She crossed her arms. “That's what superheroes would do.” She made her way to the coffee machine and pulled a cup out of the cupboard.

“That's what I've been saying!” Riju said. She moved towards Aryll, peering over her shoulder. “Hey, make me some!”

“Make your own!” Aryll shoved her aside with her hip.

“Come on,” Riju whined. “I got stuck sleeping on that awful couch.”

“Riju,” Urbosa warned. “This isn't a hotel. Be grateful Talon is letting us stay here.”

“Hmph.”

Link dared to step around the corner and into the kitchen, yawning loudly. He ignored his friends as he strode to the refrigerator in hopes of quieting his growling stomach. He opened the door and peered inside for a long moment.

“You could at least put a shirt on,” Daruk said.

Link shrugged. “But then you won't be able to appreciate all of this.”

Riju skipped to his side and joined him at peering into the fridge. “I could still kick your ass.”

“Probably,” he said with a nod. “We can't all have superpowers.” He straightened and closed the door, an apple in hand.

“Oh?” Riju crossed her arms. “Spying on us?”

“Nope,” he said as he bit into the apple. He looked around the kitchen, noticing then a few missing faces.

“Where’s Kit?” he asked.

Revali shrugged. “I dunno,” he started. “Said something about checking in on the bar, stocking up, and something about some Sera chick.”

Link chewed thoughtfully. He was sure he’d get an earful from Sera whenever they made it back to the city.

“Where’s Dad?” Aryll asked his other question.

“Car’s gone,” Daruk said. “Guessing he took off last night.”

Link raised a brow. “What for?”

“We thought you’d know,” Urbosa said.

Link hesitated. He took another bite of his apple. “Uh-uh.”

“Excellent,” Revali muttered.

“We need to start planning our attack on the Yiga,” Zelda said.

“We don’t stand a chance on our own,” Urbosa said, shaking her head. “We’ll be walking right into our deaths.”

“Let me go into the city,” Paya said, turning to Zelda. “I’m sure we can get the help of the Sheikah. If Dorian is true to his word, he will back us up.”

Zelda hesitated. “And if not?”

As if in answer to her doubts, the sound of tires on the dirt drive caught their attention. From somewhere in the house, Talon cocked his rifle.

“Are ya’ll ‘spectin’ company?” he asked in a wary voice.

The Champions hurried outside, watching as a convoy of black vehicles made their way up the dirt road and turned into the drive. They pulled in one by one, lining up side by side, filling the driveway and spilling out onto the sides of the road.

Link watched carefully as the doors opened to the vehicles, and Hyrulean and Sheikah soldiers spilled out around the vehicles. In the front, three more men stepped out, dressed in similar uniforms. A bullet proof vest protected Teba. One hand rested on the butt of the gun on his hip, while the other was tucked into the pocket of his pants. He slouched enough to show an appearance of his usual, casual disinterest, yet his eyes were fierce with determination. Rusl lacked the bullet proof vest, but was equally equipped with weapons on his body. He brought a cigarette away from his lips with a smug grin and flicked the ash to the ground. Dorian stood beside him, his arms crossed, and he regarded his friend with a look of only slight annoyance.

“Well, shit,” Daruk said.

Link narrowed his gaze on his father. “What’s this?”

“An army,” he said proudly. “You lot sure as shit can’t do this with just the few of you.”

Link raised a questionable brow. “Roham just let you take his men?”

“Goddesses, no,” Rusl said with a laugh, then shrugged. “But we didn’t bother ask.” He gestured with his chin toward Teba. “Those are Teba’s guys. They’re on team Zelda.” He then gestured to Dorian. “Dorian’s guys. Also team Zelda.” He stepped aside, then turned to look over the men that stood behind him. “Those are my boys.”

“How does a dead guy get the biggest team?” Revali asked.

“I know people,” Rusl said simply. “And people like a good back from the dead story.”

“And you know, I gave his son stolen blackmarket weapons,” Jini said, stepping forward. “It was this, or do more time behind damn bars.”

At that moment, the air snapped, and Impa and Purah appeared before the convoy.  Impa held what looked to be brown pieces of material in her arms. They seemed to be mid-argument when they appeared, but Purah stopped abruptly as her gaze landed on Link. The old Sheikah squealed with delight, then waved off her sister as she made her way to Link.

“I can’t believe you were keeping this good looking man from me,” she said. She stopped in front of him and reached up to pinch his cheeks. She stood on her tiptoes and looked passed him, smiling at Rusl over her shoulder. “He’s almost as handsome as you, Russy-boy.”

“How dare you compare us,” Rusl said. “You said I was your favorite.”

“Oh, Russy,” Purah said. She grinned widely. “You’ve been trying to get with me for years.”

“That’s weird,” Revali muttered.

Purah patted Link’s cheek. “You might have a chance if you play your cards right.”

Link looked to Impa helplessly. Impa sighed and pressed a finger to her temple. “Please leave him alone.”

Purah moved her hands to pull at his ears and giggled. “That’s some strong Hylian bloodline. She picked a good one.”

“That’s debatable,” Impa muttered.

Purah waved her younger sister off with a hand. “It was probably for the best,” Purah said, stepping away to look him over. “Impa has that tough love thing going on. I would have coddled you.”

“She beat me with a stick,” Link muttered.

Purah grinned. “That’s so Impa. I see why she likes you.”

“I don’t think she does,” Link said slowly. He met Impa’s gaze and the old Sheikah grinned.

“Atta boy,” she said simply.

Purah put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Well, enough chit-chat, then. Looks like everyone’s all here. It’s time to put this plan into motion.”

“There’s a plan?” Daruk asked.

“Of course there’s a plan,” Purah said. “Haven’t you fought a war before?”

“Yes,” Revali sneered. “By our damn selves.”

“That’s not true,” Impa hissed.

“It didn’t seem likely we’d have anyone on our side,” Urbosa said.

“Oh, come now,” Purah said, waving them off with a hand. “You always have the Sheikah on your side.” She turned and narrowed her gaze on Impa and Dorian.

“Even if it seems like they’re against you at times.”

“Purah,” Impa warned.

Purah ignored her and turned her attention back to the Champions. “Impa and I work very differently. Regardless.” She moved her arm to the side, gesturing to the team behind her. “You’re not alone in this fight. In fact, I’ve been doing a little extra research myself, and I think I found just the thing to give you an edge.” She pulled the Sheikah Slate out from under her jacket and waved it in the air.

“That’s the Sheikah Slate,” Zelda said.

“See - it does a lot more than activate shrines.”

“My daughters have uncovered the four Divine Beasts that were used thousands of years ago,” Dorian explained.

Purah’s fingers flew across the screen of the slate. “They were used against the Great Calamity. Robbie has been able to activate them with the Sheikah Slate. You will be able to use them to easily take out the Yiga Clan’s hideout.”

“The Divine Beasts,” Urbosa mumbled. “They’re still functioning?”

“You know of them?” Mipha asked.

“Just legends,” Urbosa said.

“We’ll need each of you Champions to man one of these machines,” Purah continued. “The Sheikah can get you each to your respective Divine Beasts to blow up the Yiga Clan hideout, then back in a flash to finish them off.” She looked up at them, her shoulders pulled back, and smiled. “Questions, comments, complaints, grievances, or anything else I don’t care about?”

“Yeah,” Daruk said with a grunt. “We need a raise.”

“I’m afraid I can’t offer that,” Pura started. “But I did come with a plan, didn’t I? And a team?”

“We brought the team,” Rusl said.

But Purah ignored him. “And, I didn’t come without gifts.” She took the brown pieces of material from Impa’s arms. “Take these.” She threw them at each of them and, upon opening them, Link realized they were long cloaks.

“Oh, swell,” he said with false enthusiasm. “These will be so useful to us in that wasteland of a desert where it's going to be so damn cold.”

Impa did not hesitate to smack him upside the head. “Boy, I'da killed you a long time ago if I could have,” she snarled at him. “Don't test me.”

Urbosa frowned at the cloak. “These are the least fashionable things I've ever seen.”

“Fine,” Impa said with a grunt. “Die out there.” She turned away from them and sucked in a deep breath. “You will not be able to fight off the heat of the desert,” she attempted to explain to them. “That being said, you will not stand a chance in the cold nights, either.”

Purah grinned and anxiously offered to finish explaining for Impa. “Listen up, Linky boy. Those cloaks have been reinforced with Sheikah magic and will keep you cool during the day, and warm at night. Without it, you will freeze to death on the first night.” She leaned in toward him. “And we definitely don’t want that to happen. Because you’re just too cute to die!”

Link hesitated, blinking blankly at her. “Thank… you?”

“I'm going to go ahead and assume you expect us to walk that damned desert,” Revali said.

“Of course,” Impa said. She turned back to face the group. “The outskirts of the desert is one thing, but nothing will survive the sandstorms in the wastelands.”

“Us included,” Daruk muttered.

“I suppose the army may have some nice equipment that you could borrow,” Purah started, but she shook her head. “but you'll only draw more attention to yourselves.” She shook her head. “Your safest bet is to go on foot.”

“Urbosa, Revali, Daruk, Mipha; you will each man one of the Divine Beasts, while Link and Zelda make their way to the Yiga Clan. On Teba’s command, you will each use the control panels on the Divine Beasts to fire at their hideout. The Sheikah there will be able to assist you and get you back to the desert to join the fight.”

“What about Thing One and Thing Two?” Revali threw his thumb toward Link and Zelda. “You’re leaving them powerless.” His brows furrowed. “No offense, but you’ll both just get in the way.”

Zelda hesitated. “We’re not staying behind.”

“They will have the Sheikah with them,” Purah said. “They will be safe until you all return.”

“Your power is not gone, Zelda,” Impa said. She patted the back of her hand. “The Triforce is still a part of you, even though Hylia used all of its energy. You are Hylian, and like all Hylian’s, that power sleeps inside of you. You’ve always had the power of the Triforce to enhance your abilities, but they are still there, as they are in all Hylians.” She smiled. “You just have to work a little harder to find that power and bring it out.”

“What about Link?” Riju chimed in. “Does he have it, too?”

Impa hesitated. She met Link’s gaze and her eyes narrowed on him. “He’s too stupid to be able to access any power he might have.” She turned her back on them. “While all Hylians have the power, that doesn’t mean they have the ability to bring it forth.” She met Rusl’s hard gaze.

“Always a loser,” Revali said. He turned to Link with a smug grin.

“Bite me,” Link muttered.

Impa turned back to the Champions. “Prepare yourselves. You’ll set out tonight.” She smiled. “May Hylia keep your sorry asses from frying.”

[courtofsapphiresandshadows]

Chapter Eleven- Azriel

She had finally fallen asleep- Azriel was beginning to wonder when she would finally doze off. Aegan had a long day- first going to the Prison, then flying for hours to the outskirts of Ironcrest, and finally collecting that large mound of firewood. They really didn’t need that much wood, but he had to keep her occupied with something. And the manual labor seemed to do the trick.

He turned back to the report in his hands. Pulling out a chunk of charcoal, he jotted down a few more notes before folding it up, slipping it into a small journal filled with others just like it. Rhysand had been making him send in more and more reports, none of which bore good news. Tensions had only began increased between the high lord and the war camp, and it was only a matter of time before Ironcrest decides that it was time to revolt. 

Aegan’s eyebrows furrowed, muttering something in her sleep before falling silent once more. Her shirt had hitched up, black swirls of ink stark against her tan back- they were the only real proof of her ever being a warrior, one of the last remnants of what she had been. That, and the Illyrian armor that was folded neatly next to her head. There were no nicks or scratches in the smooth black leather, not a hint of use to be seen. ‘She never had the chance to see war’, he noted, before looking away. 

He wondered what it would’ve been like, fighting alongside a female as powerful as her. Would it even be safe to be close to her? His shadows kept warning him to run whenever she drew near. And after her episode in the House of Wind… Perhaps it was best to keep his distance for now, until he decided on what to do with her. He hadn’t planned on having company during his trips to the Illyrian Mountains- at least, not until Rhysand told him that he would have a partner. 

Azriel poked the fire with a long stick, sparks flying as the embers warmed him. Tomorrow, they would go to the cabin he had been inhabiting for the last few weeks. Yes, it was rather small, but at least it was out of the cold. Illyrian winters were no fun, and it was a surprise that no snow had fallen yet. ‘It was only a matter of time’, he thought as a cold gust of air blasted him in the face. Maybe collecting all of that firewood hadn’t been such a bad idea. 

One of Aegan’s shadows drifted past him, settling briefly in his palm. It was cold, not unlike his, and had a mind of its own. It seemed perfectly content to drift peacefully around his scarred hands, before darting quickly back to its master’s side. 

Aegan thrashed suddenly in her sleep, each breath haggard and shallow. At Velaris, Azriel remembered hearing someone whimpering late at night- he didn’t put too much thought into it at first. But now, as he watched tears stream down her face, Azriel couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. He could’ve at least checked to she if she was okay.

He leaned towards her, gently shaking her shoulder. “Aegan.”

She remained unresponsive, her shadows flaring around her, as if they were trying to do the same thing he was doing. He shook her harder, furrowing his brows as nothing seemed to change. 

His shadows screamed at him to move, Azriel not understanding why before hearing the low growl rumbling in Aegan’s throat. He only had a second to dart away as the claws came out, going straight through her leather gloves. 

Her eyes, blazing and very much awake, darted around the campsite before finally landing on him. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Aegan fixated her eyes on the frozen earth, where her claws had created deep scratches. “I’m fine”, she whispered, her voice hoarse.

“Aegan-”

Her shadows swarmed closer to her, obscuring most of her from view. “I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not”, he told her. “You’re telling everyone that, but no one believes you. Why do you push away help?” 

A few shadows dispersed, revealing an emotionless face. It was odd seeing her like this- everytime Azriel had seen her, she had worn her heart on her sleeve. Now, she looked blank, like someone had sucked the personality out of her and left a corpse. “Goodnight Azriel.” 

He opened his mouth to demand that she give him a proper answer, but she was already on her side, facing away from the shadowsinger. 

Azriel casted her a sideways glance. Her breathing had evened out, her body relaxed, but he knew damn well that she was awake. Be careful with her, one of his shadows whispered to him, causing him to scoff slightly. She’s been broken one too many times.

The rest of the night had been quiet, save for the crackling fire in front of him. He had closed his eyes at one point, and opened them to find himself strewn across the ground, the spot where Aegan had been sleeping barren. 

“About time you woke up”, a gruff voice said from above him. “I was considering splashing you with cold water to wake you..”

Aegan was nudging the ash pile that had been a blazing fire the night before. She had changed out of her civilian clothes, donning her Illyrian leathers. Now she truly looked like an Illyrian warrior- the small scowl on her face really complemented the look. 

“Well, thank you for not doing that”, Azriel told her, grunting slightly as he rose to his feet. His back ached terribly- the ground was not a plush mattress after all. “How long have you been awake?” 

“A few hours.” She offered him a hand, and helped him onto his feet easily. “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re wondering.” 

From where they had camped, Azriel could hear the war camp begin to awake. “We should probably seek some cover”, he suggested, eyes scanning the skies before falling back on the female in front of him. 

“Agreed”, she said, her voice monotone. Aegan’s face was still as blank as before, as she slung her sack over her shoulder. “Did you have a place in mind?”

He merely gestured his head, before walking away, Aegan stalking at his heels. Both of them were silent throughout their trip to the small wooden cabin he had been camping in, save for the occasional twig snapping underfoot. What were they supposed to talk about anyways? The weather? 

Besides the two Ironcrest soldiers they saw soaring overhead, they remained relatively undisturbed. Aegan told him that in the morning, patrols were rare- it was relatively new to see them flying so early. While it wasn’t enough to prove anything, Azriel still stored the information in his mind. Just something to look out for while spying. 

They finally reached the cabin. Nestled next to a hill, it had been built years ago, when Ironcrest wasn’t such a bother. Azriel had bought it a year ago, and after some ‘renovations’, it had become a hideout worthy for the Spymaster. It looked normal enough, but those who knew the building like he did knew better. Weapons of every variety laid hidden in the walls, the pantry stocked with poison, and the basement was filled with all sorts of surprises. 

Pulling out a small silver key, he unlocked and opened the door, loosening a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He tossed his bag on a chair, before yanking open a drawer filled with scrolls and nubs of charcoal. “Catch”, he told her simply as he tossed her a scroll and charcoal nub. “We start immediately”. 

Aegan arched an eyebrow. “Eager for information, are we?” She inquired, tucking what he gave her in a small pocket on her thigh. “What do I do if I’m seen?” 

“Try to avoid that at all costs”, he said, readjusting his leathers slightly. “But if you are, silence them. And take care of any witnesses.” 

Something unreadable flashed in her eyes, before she dipped her head in understanding. “I’ll go North, and observe from there. Don’t put it past Ironcrest to do ground patrols.” 

“Who said you’re in charge?” He asked, but Aegan had already stepped outside, and launched herself into the sky. She was no more than a small black dot by the time Azriel himself had left the cabin, deciding to head to the southern ridge to make his observations. 

He did not see or hear Aegan for the rest of the day- a good thing, considering that their main objective was not to be detected. It was only late at night when he finally spotted the female on the roof of the cabin. She was near invisible in the dark, save for her platinum blonde hair, which seemed to glow in the moonlight. 

She jumped off, flaring her wings, as she landed before Azriel. Wordlessly, she pulled out a stack of papers, each one covered with notes and diagrams. 

“Nicely done”, he told her, flipping through the pages. Together, they must’ve had at least 40 pages of intel- better than what Azriel would have if he worked alone. ‘She made quite a spy’, he thought to himself as the two ventured inside. ‘Perhaps having her here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.’

It didn’t take long for them to discuss the notes- 15 minutes at best. Aegan remained quiet for the most part, only butting in to add more information or to clarify something he had said. After they were finished, Azriel went over to the small kitchen, offering food, but she declined. “I already ate”, she told him, before bidding him goodnight, walking towards her room. 

The following days were much like this one- Aegan and Azriel splitting up in the day, and reconvening at night. She was almost always gone before he even woke up- it was almost like Azriel was by himself in the mountains, just like the times before. Of course, the two spoke at night, to swap information, but even that didn’t last long.

There were times when he did see Aegan when they weren’t spying. Usually, it was late at night, when Azriel worked on finishing the report for the day. He could see into her room at the end of the hallway- she was always sitting on her bed, staring at the wall across from her. Dark bags had become a permanent feature under her eyes, her fingers always wrapped around the neck of a bottle. Once, he had tried to talk her out of drinking, but she merely took another swig of liquor. He had given up after that. 

Azriel removed his eyes from Aegan, and scratched one last note down before blowing out the candle on his desk. Today had been the same as usual- the reports worsening, Aegan drinking, and him stressing over the fact that he would have to leave the female by herself as he delivered the weekly report to Rhys. For all he knew, she could drain his entire alcohol stash, and slaughter any Ironcrest soldier she laid her eyes on. ‘It’s just for the weekend’, he assured himself, watching Aegan shut her door quietly. ‘She can’t do to much damage, right?’

Sleep had come instantly to him, and before he knew it, it was morning. The sun had began its ascent into the sky, its rays momentarily blinding him as he pushed aside the curtains. It had snowed overnight, casting the forest in a soft white glow that made him homesick for Rhys’s own cabin within the Illyrian mountains. A few footprints had marred the otherwise pristine landscape- Aegan. She must’ve left while he slept, like usual.

Even though he couldn’t care less if Aegan decided to work so early in the morning, he still felt a twinge of hurt at her absence. ‘She could’ve at least said goodbye’, he thought to himself, before shaking his head clear. No, he didn’t need her here to wish him luck- this was a mission after all. He had done it a thousand times. 

He dressed fairly quickly, stepping out of the cabin once he found his bag. He spread his wings, preparing to launch himself into the air-

“Going already?” 

Azriel flinched, before letting out a string of curses. “Didn’t know you were still here, Aegan.” 

She had been sitting on her favorite perch- the roof- her wings spread out to absorb the sun’s relatively warm rays. She discarded her Illyrian armor, and was wearing a simple black sweater and leggings instead- she must’ve been cold. 

Launching herself off of the roof, she landed in the knee deep snow, trudging towards him. “How long will you be gone?” 

“Two days- I’ll be back late tomorrow night.”

She nodded, before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Stay safe.” 

Azriel arched an eyebrow. “

Her hand dropped from his shoulder. “The one time I try to be pleasant, and I am criticized.” 

He rolled his eyes. “You? Pleasant? I don’t think that’s possible.” Still, he clapped her on the shoulder. “I’ll be safe”, he assured her, patting Truthteller, which was strapped securely at his side. “Don’t worry.”

She sighed, taking a step back to give him room. “Send my regards to Nesta and Estelle!” 

He smiled faintly. “We’ll see”, was all he said, before launching himself into the sky. 

~Aegan’s POV~

She watched him go, until he disappeared from view. “‘We’ll see? Bastard”, she growled, before the familiar smell of blood and frankincense wafted through her nose. She didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. “Glad to see you got my message.”

“I’m just surprised I remembered where you left your letters”, Sasha replied, walking up to her. “What seems to be the problem?” 

Aegan finally glanced over at her. “I need you to send a message for me.” She then smiled slightly. “You look better than before.” 

She grinned, patting her stomach with a bloodied hand. “Well, I have been eating actual food.” 

Aegan frowned at the sight of blood. “What happened to stay out of trouble?” 

Sasha’s grin fell. “That’s the thing I’ve been wanting to tell you. For the last couple of days, I’ve been noticing new… visitors in the surrounding region. They’re not of the Night Court, neither are they of Prythian”. 

“Hybern?” 

She nodded gravely. “I ran into a small group while making my way over to you. All of them were heavily armed with both magic and weapons. They managed to spot me, but I took care of them.” 

“Obviously”, she muttered, as Sasha wiped some blood off on her pants. “How many have you counted so far?”

“At least 20, though I bet that number will grow.” 

“It can’t be a coincidence”, Aegan muttered, her eyes staring in the direction of the Ironcrest camp. “How fast can you get to Velaris?”

Sasha scoffed. “So fast the High Lord wouldn’t know I was there until I was gone with half of his money.” 

Aegan smiled slightly. “Good. There’s two females there- Nesta Archeron and Estelle. Give this”, she waved a yellow envelope in the air, “to Nesta- she’s fae, and is usually scowling.”

“May I ask what it entails?” 

“It’s a request for information- and a warning.”

Sasha took the letter from her, tucking it into a pocket as she frowned. “A warning for what?” 

“Ironcrest has been growing in number, at a rate that isn’t natural. And now hybern soldiers are frequenting their borders.” Aegan took a deep breath, steeling herself  slightly. “Ironcrest’s preparing for war. And we have to be ready for it.”

@callie-bear15

@thisgryffindorlllyrian

@nestaarcheronwillkillme

@dreamworld-1997

@rairrai

@deezrmuhsheeple​

@my-fan-side

@homicidalbaker

[becuzpurple]

NUMB, chapter 1 - Clean Slate

Well, chapter 1 is finally done - enjoy!

(link to previous chapter - intro)

CHAPTER 1 - Clean Slate

December

I ended the call, sitting alone at the small, corner table in disbelief.  After a minute I realized my feet were happy-dancing and I was grinning like a loon in public.

I glanced around the tiny cafe as I took another sip of my hot salted caramel mocha. Thankfully, no one was paying me any attention.

Well, I wanted to change things up, right?  Start fresh...clean slate?  This would certainly do that in a major way.

I got the job!

...

I had six weeks to get my life in order, not that there was very much to do in that respect, before leaving.  I’d already found someone to take over my lease. I still had a month before I needed to give notice at the restaurant.  I didn’t own a car, and had no outstanding loans or any other recurring payments, so there were no loose strings to tie up there, either. My sister agreed to take my cat and let me use her address as my own for any official documentation (banking, etc). And then...my new home would be on the road for at least the next year, assuming everything worked out.

It seemed almost too good to be true - work I love, good pay, lots of travel, and I’d get to practically disappear.  That last thought made me pause and wonder if what I was actually doing was running away from something, albeit legitimately. But, no?  I’d be working within my chosen career, and there was really no one or thing left to run away from.  I wasn’t keeping any secrets from family or friends - they knew about the new job.  I told myself that what I was doing was starting over with a clean slate.  That sounded much better than running away from mistakes and bad memories.

-------

February

I’d been hired as one of two head chefs for Ed Sheeran’s world stadium tour - to actually tour with him (!).  I couldn’t have known beforehand, but he and his team are apparently well-known within the industry for being very close-knit with and taking very good care of their people - even those in catering, it would seem.  I still can’t believe I landed this position.  And to think it never would have happened if Brandon hadn’t left - I’d still be in an unhealthy relationship, still cooking at the same restaurant with no opportunity for advancement, still living an unfulfilling life.  I don’t really believe in fate, or that ‘things happen for a reason’.  I think life is more a series of random happenings, influenced by any number of factors.  But I will say that in this case, losing Brandon seemed to have helped me land my dream job.

I’d so far met Ed briefly, a handful of times, and he was lovely. He’s down to earth, humble...very likable.  He remembered my name after meeting me only once, which surprised me, since I know he meets a stupid number of people every day.  He calls me ‘Samantha’.  I usually go by just ‘Sam’, but for some reason I’ve never corrected him.   

I inherited an abundantly stocked mobile kitchen, complete with state-of-the-art appliances and gadgets.  When I inquired about procuring one or two additional pieces, not an eye was batted.  Turns out I’m allocated a generous monthly budget just for things like that.

There are two catering teams, and a very nice man named Jonas Brandt is the head of the other one. He’s from Germany, in his late 40’s, with a wife and two young boys back home. He worked Ed’s arena tour last year, and is a wonderful friend and mentor to me.  He was quite happy with my hire, and confident in my abilities, so that’s a great boost of confidence for me, too.

This job demands a lot, and much of it doesn’t even involve food, directly. There’s a lot of planning involved.  I found I have to be about 5 steps ahead to make sure everything is ready when we get to each new location.  My team and I rotate with Jonas and his team - one feeds the advance crew as they set up everything days before the show while the other stays with the rest of the crew who don’t need to be there until the day before or day of the show.

In addition to the huge amount of background work and planning, I oversee the actual food preparation and service, as well.  There is a very strong social aspect to sharing meals - it brings people together, literally, and I want in on that. These were generally very nice, fun, happy folks, and I love being a part this wacky, traveling family of friends.

-------

March, Dunedin, New Zealand

I screwed up.  Well, someone on my team did, but that means it falls on me. My planned menu for that night sort of fell apart.  We were to serve Kiwi burgers as the main entree that evening, and Hokey Pokey ice cream for dessert - both local favorites.  Someone dropped the ball, and one of the main elements of Kiwi burgers, beetroot, wasn’t ordered, nor was the specialty ice cream. To make matters worse, I didn’t personally receive word of this oversight until food prep was already underway.  I made a few frantic phone calls, but it was too late to pull together an order as large as what was needed. I still had plenty of food for everyone, including gourmet burgers - just not Kiwi burgers...no local flair.  It was something I had started to pride myself in - the daily tie-ins or nods to the cuisine of wherever we happened to be.  I was...not happy.

At the very last minute I was able to score an enormous amount of Jaffas, the sugar-coated, orange-flavored chocolate balls that are a favorite among New Zealanders.  Between those and the supply of plain, old vanilla ice cream and mini apple pies we already had in the freezer, there were plenty of sweets for after dinner.  But that hardly made up for what I considered a failed main course.

I had no idea if anyone besides my staff and myself even realized that the meal wasn’t quite what it was supposed to be.  I must have been in the mood to punish myself, though, because I hovered near the food stations while everyone collected their meals, hoping to gauge their reactions.

No one appeared to even notice, and if they did, no one said anything.  They seemed perfectly oblivious to the beetless state of the burgers, and didn’t even realize they were missing out on specialty ice cream.  Leave it to me to build things up in my head like that.  I felt a little stupid about it, but I can’t help holding myself up to high standards - I’m a perfectionist.

Eventually, I started to make my way back to the kitchen, to take a moment and finally breathe, but before I made it back there I heard someone calling my name.

“Samantha!”  

I looked back to see Ed waving me over to the dessert station.  He’d apparently just filled several red Solo cupfuls of Jaffa balls which were lined up on the table in front of him.  I was a little surprised to see him - he practically never eats with us.  He’s usually either out with friends or busy working with industry colleagues when he’s not on stage - the man's schedule is insane.  So it was just my luck that the one time he was actually there to eat was when I had my big food fail.

I returned his smile with a slightly awkward grin and wave, and backtracked to the dessert station.

“Do you need help with those?”  Because helping Ed Sheeran carry hundreds of tiny chocolate balls would be a totally normal thing, right?  

What is my life? 

He gave me a quick look before returning his attention to the eight or so cups full of candies in front of him, biting his lower lip as he pondered.

“Nah, I think...yeah!”  He grunted triumphantly as he quickly arranged the cups into two groups of four, and picked them all up with fingers extended into each cup.  He looked like a happy lobster proudly waving his claws at me, but he was a little too exuberant about it and Jaffa balls were soon bouncing out of the cups onto the floor.

“Ohhh...”

He looked so abashed I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Um.  That’s not...that wasn’t supposed to happen...”

“Aw, and you were so happy, too,”  I giggled.  We both got down on our hands and knees to collect the wayward Jaffas.

He grinned right back at me lifting an eyebrow mischievously.  “I’m really sorry I dropped my balls on the floor.  Thanks for helping me pick up my balls.”

“I...wow.  You’re welcome, I guess?  Any time.”

I could feel my face flushing, and I know he saw it, too, because he gave me a look of amused pity.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“No, no, it’s fine.  Here, give those over.”  I held out my hands.  I’ll toss them in the kitchen trash.” 

As he did so, a girl with long, curly brown hair passed nearby, curiously looking over at us on the floor.  She gave me a friendly grin, and then demanded of Ed, “What are you up to?  Are you bothering this nice lady?”

“No!  Samantha just...took my dirty balls...”

She looked at him blankly for a moment, then turned to me.  I held out my handful of Jaffa balls for her to see, only slightly mortified.

Shaking her head, she answered, “Right.  Carry on, then,” and continued on her way.

We both grinned after her for a second or two, and then got up and headed to the kitchen.  

“That was Lauren, by the way.  Have you met?”

“No, not yet, but I definitely like her.”

I dumped the dirty Jaffas into a bin and turned back to Ed.

“So, um, I really needed a laugh right about now, so thanks,” I murmured.

“Yeah?  Everything okay?”  We were standing fairly close - right about where personal space becomes defined, and all of his focus was on me.  He has a very sincere face, and really pretty eyes...

I mentally shook myself. Anyway... “Yeah, I was just...stressed about a job thing.” I tried to shrug it off but he was having none of it.

“What, this job? Here?”

“No, it’s nothing, really.  It's fine.”  

He looked so earnestly concerned, almost as if he was personally affronted that my job, which existed because of him, could cause me any stress.  So, I found myself telling him all about the Kiwi Burger Problem.

“Beetroot?”

“Yeah, it’s...a thing here, I guess.  You were all supposed to get an authentic New Zealand meal tonight.”

“Huh.  Well, if it makes any difference, I don’t think anyone here is the wiser. The burgers were fab.  I mean, I would have tried it, for sure...but beetroot on burgers does sound kind of weird.”

I huffed out a quiet laugh, nodding.  “Yeah. ‘When in Rome’, right?  Well,” I shrugged, “At least you got the Jaffa balls...”

At the mention of the Jaffas he looked back towards the dessert station, where he’d left the rest of his candies.  “Oh - gotta go get m’balls!”

I stayed where I was, leaning against the door frame, grinning after him as he made his way back to the dessert station for his...balls.  I knew right then, as he repeated his lobster claw-grab of the cups of candy, that I was going to immensely enjoy knowing him. 

“Been a pleasure, Samantha, see ya soon.”  This time he didn’t wave his already-occupied hands, but nodded at me instead, as he left.  

“Likewise.  Enjoy your balls, Ed,” I called after him.

Only after he was gone did I realize I forgot to even mention the Hokey Pokey ice cream.

---

(next chapter)

As always, I really appreciate any and all feedback.  Likes, comments, reblogs, messages/questions/comments...it’s all good!

 It’s really hard to find motivation to write when you have no idea if anyone likes or cares about what you’re putting out there.  So PLEASE share your thoughts!

-BP💜

[thebrochtuarachs]

To Begin Again: Chapter 6

Jamie passes through the stones on Beltane to 1968.

A/N: A chapter to establish our favorite couple to the 20th century! Were going to the intense parts next but we'll also get to more good parts soon! Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it all! ❤️ As always, comments and suggestions are always welcome!

CH: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 AO3

Jamie stood frozen of the manse’s doorway, transfixed in observing the wonders of the 20thcentury.

He didn’t know what they were called yet and couldn’t conjure memories of Claire’s stories to properly identify the things around him but he saw them, heard them, and he was incredibly curious.

The ticking of the clock.

The light from the lamp.

The paintings on the walls and table that seemed to copy the likeness too precisely.

The ringing of the telephone that made him jump in surprise.

Other than that, everything else seemed the same.

The heat from the fireplace.

The furniture around the house.

The make and build of the house.

Yes, he can – no, he will – adapt just fine.

Claire felt how deep he thought when Jamie, she bet unconsciously, started squeezing her hand tighter. “Are you alright? Do you need a moment? Do you want to go out for a little air?”

Jamie released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Nah, Sassenach. I’ll do, just tell me what everything is and I’ll make do” he gave her a small, sad smile that softened her.

Claire didn’t have a doubt how Jamie would fare in the 20thcentury but she knew she’ll need to help and convince him of the same idea as well. Releasing her hold on his hand, she laced her hands at the nape of his neck, focusing him on her. “Jamie, I’m here. I will never leave you again.” She pulled him close for a kiss and just as their lips were about to meet, Jamie’s stomach rumbled.

“Ach, I dinna mean to break your thoughts, Sassenach, but – “Jamie pointed to his tummy area as the noise made itself known again.

Claire rolled her eyes, exasperated a humorous sigh and settled for quick peck on his lips. “Ugh, all right. Breakfast. But Jamie, we have to clean you up first?” He wasn’t overly filthy but a good hot shower might bring him a little comfort.

“Darling, remember when I told you about the hot baths?” Claire asked as they climbed up the stairs to the second floor of the house.

“Aye” Jamie nodded, remembering, as she stopped in front of one of the doors, opened it and led the way.

“So, this is a bathroom. It’s where we take a bath, shower, clean up…” Claire began to explain. He heard her but he was more focused on how Claire moved within the small space. She pointed to a faucet where the water comes from with a turn of a knob, taught her how to use the toilet and flush, pointed to a deep tub and lastly, showed her how to use and adjust the shower.

It was marvelous and Jamie had to admit, as new as he was to all this, he couldn’t wait to have his try.

Jamie was wearing breeks, long shirt and a vest when he passed through. No kilt, she noticed. She knew it was banned after the Battle of Culloden, along with many Scottish traditions Jamie grew up with and she have grown to love. He made his move to take off his pants but stopped to look at her.

As happy as a reunion this was, it was not lost on both of them that the truth remains that they have been parted for twenty years. Physically, they were strangers and yet their souls called to one another, each claiming the other still. The heart wants to push but the head wants to pull, the battle was raging, both unable to stop it at the moment.

“I’ll be just in the other room. If you need me, just call” Claire turned to leave in understanding but just as turned the knob, Jamie hugged her from behind.

“I dinna want you to leave, Claire, but I dinna want you to see me like this, all mucked up, dirty, the first time you really seeme.” he softly said. Claire sighed and rested against him in understanding. Jamie moved his head closer to her ear and whispered. “I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. I want you, Claire. I want you so much I can scarcely breath but would you mind if we waited a bit still?”

“We waited almost twenty years, what’s a few hours more?” Claire turned around and gave Jamie a kiss on the cheek. “Now, bath. I’ll try to fetch you something to wear. If I’m not back by then, use this” Claire handed Jamie a bathrobe, hoping it would fit his size, and left Jamie to his devices.

Half an hour has passed and Jamie hasn’t emerged from the bathroom. Claire was starting to go hungry herself but wanted for Jamie and her to have breakfast together. Another minute and she decided to check up on him.

She could hear the shower running – still. A smile crept on her face as she probably knew why Jamie was taking so long. Opening the door, she let herself in and sat on the toilet.

“Now I know why ye’ll leave me for this, Sassenach. These hot baths are heavenly. It’s been a while since I’ve had time for a proper washing and I canna seem to finish this bath just yet” Jamie said, smiling, eyes still closed, allowing the water to rush through him.

“Told you they’re glorious. Feeling refreshed yet? I want to eat and I think you’d forgotten your hunger in all these hot water” Claire chuckled and then heard the water suddenly cut. Jamie reached out a hand over the shower curtain asking for a towel and Claire gladly gave it. She could hear him padding himself down and when Jamie pulled back the barrier, he was naked from the waist up, the towel secured on his hips like a kilt.

She should look away. After the awkward moment of undressing earlier, they were walking on pins and needles at the moment, trying to navigate the 20thcentury - and each other - still. But she couldn’t help it.

His pelvic area was directly in front of her face and she could just outline where hewas. Her eyes travelled upwards, his abdominals looking as defined as ever (she should ask him how a man in his 40s have kept up in such amazing shape).

Moving up still, now to his broad chest, she could see droplets of water falling across it curved span. Her fingers twitched, aching to touch the delicious specimen before her. She bit her lip and bravely looked up to his face, stared directly to his eyes and conveyed every wicked thought that passed through her mind to her glass face.

Jamie must’ve caught on, a smirk forming on his perfect mouth. “Sassenach, if you continue to look at me like that…” Claire sighed loudly, interrupting him, as she decided that to hell with time, they needed each other now.

But just as she was to tug him away, Bree called from the hallway.

“Mama, I bought some clothes I think Da could use for now” she said, holding a white long shirt, a pair of black slacks, a belt and some hotel slippers, she managed to find in the manse’s storage. “Roger and I found it. Hope it fits but if not, I can look for more or shop. Also, hurry up because your breakfast is getting cold”

It was then when Claire opened the bathroom door and Bree realized she was talking to an empty bedroom door. Walking over to her mother, she raised her eyebrows in an apparent amused knowing, then gave her the stuff. “Thank you, Bree. We’ll be down shortly.”

The tension was palpable but the moment was broken. Claire handed Jamie the clothes and left him again to change. She told him to come down afterwards for breakfast.

Claire found Bree and Roger just about to finish their food on the table, two empty plates beside them for Claire and Jamie.

“Do you have plans for today?” Claire asked Bree and Roger. Both shrugged in the openness of their schedule.

“I need you to do something for me”

-

Jamie came down the stairs to find Claire, Bree and Roger in discussion. He purposely walked a little louder to interrupt them just in case that they were talking about him.

He wasn’t just long in the bath because of the hot showers. Truth was, he was too lost in his own thoughts to have noticed the time gone by. While in the shower, Jamie contemplated a lot of things now that he’s in the 20thcentury.

Obviously, he was not of this time – by logic, he’s technically 245 years of age and supposed to be dead.

He’s not uneducated but surely, what he knows now is archaic and irrelevant. He can learn but what use of a man of his age in this century where everything seems to be too advanced?

He also knew that in this time, he is not known nor acknowledged by law and paper. Was he supposed to go in hiding for the rest of his life here? He wouldn’t allow Claire and Bree to live that kind of life. Can he go back? Will he go back?

Too many questions, all of them unanswered. He shook his head and tried to push it all away.

Bree noticed him first just as he stepped at the bottom of the stairs. “Da!” she called out naturally, surprising Claire and Jamie, both, but nonetheless, pleased.

“A nighean” he called out with a slight bow and Claire was immediately by his side. “Are ye leavin’?” he asked as he saw Bree grab her bag and Roger his keys.

“Yes. Roger, erm, is going to show me around the university he works at. I’m thinking of maybe signing on to take some classes while I’m here.” She flushed a bit and Jamie knew it was already the half truth but didn’t press. “We’ll be back by dinnertime”

Bree, then, proceeded to hug her mother and then turned to Jamie with an open arm as invitation too. He took it, the hug lasting a second more than necessary, then they were gone.

Alone once again, Claire took stock of how Jamie looked. The long shirt looked a little too big, with the sleeves hanging over his shoulder but nothing a good fold can’t fix. His slacks, however, fit well in the waist but with his height, hanged over his ankle. His long hair was drying, the curls slowly going back to their original shape.

“Do I look okay to ye?” Jamie nervously asked.

“Oh, darling, you look so fine, I’m almost deciding against what I had planned for us today” Claire replied, teasing.

They both sat to eat their breakfast while Claire was teaching Jamie everything that was around the house that he might not have an idea on. Jamie, ever the student, was diligent in listening as she explained everything and continued the conversation with follow-up questions until the food was gone and they have to leave for the day.

“I’ll just take a quick shower before we leave, feel at home” Claire said as she disappeared upstairs. Jamie toured the house on his own, going about each room, checking which is which and where is where. Touched things that looked harmless enough, observed how things functioned. Eventually, he sat down to the couch and grabbed a book, Gulliver’s Travels – a title he knew and read well to kill the time. He must’ve been too entranced because he didn’t hear her come down until he Claire hugged him by his shoulders from behind. “Let’s go” she whispered in his ear, her breath tickling him, and he almost needed help standing up.

The first stop for their trip was the barber. Jamie’s hair was far too long for Claire’s liking and thankfully, Jamie didn’t protest nor seem to mind the idea. “It’s no as if it won’t grow back, Sassenach?” They cut it short where his nape was left bare but the tendrils were long enough for Claire to comfortably run her hands through.

Their next stop was at the department store. Claire wouldn’t forget Jamie’s first reaction to it – open mouth in wonder, eyes looking everywhere, body humming with both anxiety and excitement. The items lay so plenty and full, he doesn’t have an idea how to rummage through it all. She wondered how much more surprised he’d be going to the grocery.

“I thought we’d buy you a couple of things to survive you in this century.” She grabbed Jamie by the hand and led them to the men’s department. The female attendants were more than willing to help Jamie measure his body to get his proper size and she let them just to watch Jamie get uncomfortable by so much female attention. It was harmless – most of them in their 40s or 50s – plus she was there to supervise if someone went a little overboard with her man, she’d easily glare at them to back off.

They got several long shirts, slacks, shirts, denims, shorts, sleepwear, shoes, undergarments and hygienic items.

Jamie let Claire handle everything. He wasn’t a vain man by nature but all she’s buying seems necessary as per her explanation. Before they left, she asked Jamie to change into his new clothes – a light blue long shirt, black denims matched with black boat shoes. When he came out of the dressing room, Claire could feel the entire room and floor have their eyes on him but he only had eyes for her. He was so striking; she could almost cry because of his beauty.

“Wait here” she said as she slipped in to the dressing room for her change of clothes. She emerged and Jamie let out a small gasp. Claire changed into a navy blue dress that came just below her knee, with a deep neckline and sheer sleeves. She purposely matched Jamie’s color scheme for tonight was a special night.

“I look okay?” Claire sheepishly asked a still-gaping Jamie Fraser.

“Okay? Ye look so bonny, Sassenach” Jamie said appreciatively. At the end of the dressing room, a full-length mirror caught their reflection and Claire smirked at little devilishly. He looked dashing and she looked not bad herself and together, they just stun. They were beautiful and the world was going to see it. She grabbed Jamie by the hand and they went home.

-

The sky was dusk by the time the left the store and the drive back looked lovely with the orange sky combined with the emerging city lights. Claire and Jamie, again, exchanged questions and answers about what everything was and she was pleased that Jamie was adapting fairly faster and better than she hoped.

But a few minutes before they reached the manse, Claire noticed Jamie’s silence and was suddenly on alert. Before they walked to the door, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Jamie, what is it?” she turned and focused on him.

Jamie’s face was flushed and serious. “I’m sorry, Claire. I’m sorry that you have to explain everything to me. I ask for ye’re patience. I promise I’ll learn what I have to as quickly as I could but until then, I’m afraid I am at your mercy”

“What? Jamie, patient with you? Do you remember how you taught me everything I had to know in the 18thcentury? How you translated every song in Gaelic that I couldn’t understand? How you ate with me in the hall because no one would sit with a Sassenach, an alleged spy of the English? How you would defend me to the clansmen who thought against me? How you led me back to safety each time I got too stubborn for my own doing?” Claire began explaining as she gently caressed Jamie’s cheek. “I have all the patience in the world for you”

Jamie nodded in understand but Claire could see in his eyes that there is more. “What else?”

“Our daughter? She – She knows…everything?” Jamie quietly asked.

“Yes. She does.” Claire said proudly. “But Jamie she’s only known a week. She’s still adjusting to the truth and now that you’re here, I know she feels just beyond overwhelmed. But I know our girl, she loves you already, and you’ll get the chance to get to know her now”

“Aye, I know how she feels” Jamie said dejectedly. Coming through the stones was something they never thought was possible. They tried before but to no avail. But today has been an embarrassment of riches and she is with Claire and their child and he will do everything in his power to keep them with him. But the world has rapidly changed around him and Claire is the only constant in them. She had to be the strong one for all of them until they he and Bree can patch their own way together and for Claire, he will do just that. “Dinna fash, Claire. We’ll all make do eventually.”

He opened his arms and quickly, she is wrapped in his embrace. “Thank you, mo ghraidh”.

“I missed this.” Claire said contently. “I missed you.”

“And I, you, Sassenach. Do you ken why I was at the stones yesterday? What today is?” Jamie asked, hopeful.

At first, Claire’s brows furrowed and Jamie felt his heart drop a bit, Have she forgotten a lot from our lives?, he thought. He couldn’t blame her, it has been twenty years and she had Bree, medical school, a lot in her life in the last two decades.

His thoughts were interrupted by a giggle that reverberated in his chest. “You should see the look on your face right now,” slightly patting his chest. She looked up and looked in his eyes, willing them to focus on her and cradled his face in her hands. “Jamie, I remember everything about our time together…everything.”

In the solitude of the deserted driveway, she pulled him down to her, closing the distance between them and slowly captured his lips in a long kiss. “Happy Birthday, Jamie. I am so happy you’re here and that I get to spend today and everyday with you, from now on and for the rest of our lives…I mean, if you’ll have me, have us”

Jamie gave her the broadest smile, “Sadist”, he jokingly remarked and captured her lips in a chaste kiss and she laughed while their lips were connected, the hum that passed through made his heart swell. “And Claire, I’ll always have you”. They continued to kiss and he brushed his tongue against her lips, requesting access. But she pulled away, confusing Jamie.

“I’m sorry, love, but don’t have time for that just yet” Claire pulled up a black fabric and looked at Jamie. “Do you trust me?”

“Aye.”

She smiled as she pulled it over his eyes and secured it at back of his head. She grabbed his hand and led him through the house. Jamie, having scoured it earlier in the day, was almost sure they were at the backyard. He freed his eyes and the sight before him had his heart melting.

“SURPRISE!!” Fiona, Roger, Bree and Claire exclaimed. The backyard was decorated with vintage string lights that gave the night its intimate glow. The long table was filled with food of different kinds and cuisines but he can spot the Scottish treats they put out as well.

It was a bonny night and Jamie turned to Claire, his perplexed look slowly changing to one of awe. “I love you, mo chride”. He lifted her chin and brought their lips together in a quick but deep kiss. “I love you, too”

Brianna cleared her throat and her parents. “Well, if you are finished?”

They all ate in contentment, exchanging stories of the day and how the surprise came to be. Jamie was right, the half truth of Brianna’s excuse earlier in the morning, it somehow pleased him that in the few hours he’s known his daughter, maybe, he can read her just like her mother. Claire shared how the women swooned over Jamie in the department store and Fiona just complained how Roger tried to help with the cooking but was no use at all. Roger told of his new colleagues in the university and how the office pranks have begun on them.

They talked and laughed until the night was high, food was gone and the wine was thoroughly consumed. Fiona started to pack up and Roger rose to help her haul the dishes, leaving the Fraserfamily on their own.

“I was travelling back from Edinburgh when I stopped by the stones. I do it often just to talk to you, Claire, and imagine what you’d say to me. I know it’s daft but it’s the last place where we were together and sometimes I feel like I could hear your voice answering to me.” Jamie broke the silence. “Jenny told me to come home and spend time with family and by the miracle of the last 24 hours, I do.” He extended a hand to each of his lass and they took it. “Thank ye, both, for making this day the best one I’ve had in my life so far” He kissed each hand in gratitude.

They heard a click of the camera and three heads looked up to Roger who couldn’t help but smile himself. “I know it’s been a long night but I thought, maybe, you’d like to mark this day?”

Before anything, Claire explained how the camera worked and how the photos are developed. “What is captured in each click is what you’ll see in the photos later” Bree chimed in before they started.

They rose up and posed in the light. Luckily, Roger had kept a few rolls of film at his disposal and didn’t mind at all using it to the reunited family.

The first few shots were of the three of them – Jamie had his arms around both his lasses, another where Bree was sitting with both her parents at the back, one hand each on her shoulder, a few shots of Claire and Bree only when Jamie had to excuse himself to the loo.

When he came back, Claire was waiting for him to pose just the two of them. Jamie immediately went to her side, his arm on her back, snuggled together – a perfect fit. Roger called out for them to pose a little more.

Arms around each other smiling towards the camera,

Claire angling her body closer to Jamie’s,

Jamie lovingly gazed down at Claire when she wasn’t looking,

Claire looking up and smiling at Jamie’s face,

Jamie giving Claire a peck on the cheeks,

Them looking at each other like they’re the only people in the world,

Both leaning in for a kiss,

Click.

-

It has been an eventful 48 hours that nobody realized that everybody’s been awake for that long. After their dinner, they all retired for a much deserved rest.

Bree retreated to the newly arranged bedroom, giving Claire and Jamie their own.

They both changed in the bathroom, still a little hesitant to be that intimate with each other. When Claire entered, Jamie was already sleeping, his body angled to his side. She thought he’d wait for her but apparently not. She laid down beside him and observed his face, a finger tracing his features and highlighting new lines in his face that wasn’t there before. They both grew up and grew old and surely there is a story that they may or may not want to hear.

But nothing else mattered tonight but this. Everything else can wait for tomorrow.

Slowly, she run her hand at the back of his neck and there it was – a tug of his lips that formed a small smile. Jamie was happy and so was she.

[clownfuckery]

A Monster for a Mate -  Chapter 2

PENNYWISE X OC / RATED M

A/N:  Pennywise and Luseres finally meet!  Thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, they mean a lot to me! :)

Previous Chapters:

Prologue | Chapter 1

-----

1. Welcome to Derry!

“Welcome to Derry Town House.  Do you have a reservation?”

“I don’t.  Do you have rooms available?”

“We do.  May I have your name please?”

“Luseres Dietrich”

The pretty young clerk gave me an odd look.

“Could you spell that for me please?”

I did.   She tapped away at her keyboard, every now and then looking up at me from the somewhat dated monitor.  She gave me a generic smile, the type that clerks learn to master wonderfully:  Those mechanical twitches of the corners of the mouth that serve only to reassure the costumer that they notice them there.

“King, queen, or double, ma’am?”

“King.  Do you have any suites?”

“We do.  Our upper floor rooms have a sitting room and a nicely sized jacuzzi tub in the bathroom.   They have a balcony.  Not large, but they fit a lounge chair.  The suites face Kansas Street, looking toward Old Cape and the airport.  A pretty sight this time of year”

“That will do.  Can you book me for a week?”

“Ayuh, I can do that” the young woman replied, in her pleasant Yankee twang.  Her blonde hair was half pulled back by two butterfly hair clips, the ones I remembered wearing in my teens.  She looked to be no more than twenty-three. 

“Summer job?” I asked, unable to help myself.  This time, her smile was genuine.

“Every year” she said “I grew up here, but I go to NYU.  Been working at the Town House since I was 16”

“You must love your home town.  I mean, to come back”

“I do.  There is no other place like Derry for me.  Not in the whole world.  What brings you to Derry?   You’re here for business or pleasure?”

“Solitude, I hope” I answered before realizing it.  Her brow furrowed in curiosity.  “I mean, I’ve been told by a…” friend?  Hardly from it. The Man in Black who left me standing in the middle of Main Street and walked away into nothing?  “…an acquaintance that is familiar with the place that he loves coming here” Or through here.

The clerk was studying me now, as if seeing me for the first time since I walked through the glass double doors and crossed the faded Turkish rug.

“Wait… have I seen you somewhere?” she asked suddenly, and I felt my back go rigid.  

Shit.

“Um… I d-don’t s-ee where or how-w” I stammered.  God, please don’t let her watch the news.  She did go to NYU, did she not? She must have seen me when I appeared on the Today show, being introduced as the new Christine. I swallowed hard, and she must not have noticed my apprehension, because she shrugged.

“Maybe you have a long-lost twin at NYU” she joked, and I forced myself to laugh along.  

“You never know who may look like who” I said, returning the shrug and putting my hands in my pockets to keep them from shaking.

“How are we looking at that room?” I asked, suddenly wanting nothing more than a bed and ten hours of sleep.  

“All I need is you ID and credit card to put on file” she said pleasantly, folding her arms on the desk.

I reached down into my purse and retrieved my wallet. I handed her my driver’s license and American Express.  After a minute or two of her tapping away, she went to fetch the papers from the printer.  I took the opportunity to look around.  I noticed a fireplace that hosted a real log, but no trace of it having been used in a long time.  Padded couches and plants adorned the lobby.  Above me, a mural was painted onto the ceiling, depicting images of logging men, perhaps from the town’s past.  I was still fixed upon the mural, hearing the sound of axes upon massive tree trunks, the shouts of “TIMBER!” and the sudden crack of trees snapping, the huge, earth-shaking thud as they…

“Here you go” the clerk’s voice brought me back to reality, and I shook my head slightly.  For a second I had felt like I could really hear the sounds of this town, the echoes of long ago.  

“How old is this town?” I asked as I took the pen from her hand and scribbled my signature.

“Oh, going on past three hundred years.  Nothing really happens in Derry.  Not like in places such as Bangor close by.  I mean, business has boomed since I was a little girl, but not really big like some would expect.  I guess Derry is in its own little world, and for all its faults and antiquatedness, people prefer it that way.  By the way, is that even a word?”

“Antiquatedness?” I chuckled.  I returned the pen and she handed me back my cards.  

“Yeah”

“You’re the NYU student.  You should know.  What’s your major?”

“Classic Literature.  Hmm.  My professor would be having a cow right about now” she said seemingly dumbfounded and a little amused.  She stuck two card keys into the scanners, then placed them in a holder and handed them to me.  “Your room is 629, on our top floor.  When you get off the elevator, make a left and it is the second to the last room on your right.  Menus for room service and wifi password are in your room.  Dial 0 if you need to get in contact with the front desk.  I’ll be here till nine tonight.  Is there anything else I can do for you, ma’am?”

“What time does the bar close?”

“At ten on weekdays, same as the restaurant.  Yes, I know, a little too early, but I don’t make the rules” she laughed, seeing my surprise “but they serve great cocktails.  The bartender is a childhood friend of mine.  Gary is his name. Dinner food is not all that great, but the restaurant serves the most amazing breakfast.  Best bacon this side of Maine, if you don’t mind me saying.  Lunch is okay.  There are better restaurants that serve lunch and dinner at Mall Road.  The Jade of the Orient is one of my favorites.  Amazing chicken tenders.  Can’t get anything that good in New York”

“Any other bars in town?”

“Just one: The Falcon, by the bus station.  It usually pulls an exclusive type of crowd.  You know, LGBT.  But it’s the best place to get a drink, be in great company, and not have to worry about men groping you or putting something in your drink”

“That’s good to know” I mused, and I reached for my purse and luggage.  Her eyebrows rose the moment she noticed my Louis Vuitton suitcase.  I looked completely out of place in a small New England town.

“Let me call you a bell boy” she said, reaching for the phone.  I instantly waved the offer off.

“Oh no, I got it.  I brought only one”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  Positive.” I had only taken two steps away when her voice stopped me again.

“Um… can I ask you something?” Her voice shook with uneasiness.

Oh crap, she recognized me.  She’ll tell everyone and there go my plans for peace and quiet.  ‘Scarlett Gregorian’s in town!’ she’ll scream through the streets.  Was it too late to cancel my reservation? I steeled myself and turned with the most generic smile I could muster. 

“Sure”

“Your last name.  Dietrich.  That’s German, right?” 

I sighed loudly.  My eyes closed at the flood of relief that washed through me.  She, on the other hand, took it differently.

“I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to intrude”

“No, no.  I thought…. Never mind.  Yes, it’s German.  My parents are” 

“Oh, but…” she stopped herself, and her cheeks flushed red.  She was embarrassed.  I knew exactly what she meant to ask, and I laughed.  

“My adoptive parents are German” I explained.

She looked at me with a mixture of relief and awe.  “Where are you from?  You look so… exotic”

“Argentinian by birth but Armenian by blood” I stated matter-of-factly.

“Wow.  Armenian,” she breathed the word as if it were a wonder.  “Don’t they have some of the most ancient and rare blood types on the planet?  I learned that in Ancient History class”

“Oh, you have no idea.  By the way, antiquatedness is a real word” I smiled at her, winked, and made for the elevator.  She laughed heartily.

“Welcome to Derry!” I heard her call out as the elevator doors closed.

2. The Falcon Bar

Sleep never came.  By 9 I was simply laying on top of the bedding, staring up at the intricate pattern on the ceiling.  There was something in the air, something I could not place.  I felt it the moment I dropped my bags and threw myself on the somewhat stiff bed.  I let out a sigh, breathed in… and there it was.  It seemed to hang heavily, not entirely a scent, but a feeling.  For some strange reason, I imagined a mortuary shroud that hung over the entire town.  I shook it off, laughing at myself for being an idiot.  I had lived under watchful eyes for so long I no longer knew what it felt to be totally alone.  But why wasn’t I overjoyed?  Shouldn’t I be jumping on the bed until my knees trembled like jelly and my legs gave way? Shouldn’t I be screaming from the balcony that I was free at last, laughing to the wind?  

On a whim, I threw my legs over the bed and reached for my suitcase.  I donned a low-cut body suit, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and black pumps.  A few minutes later, my cosmetics were dumped all over the bathroom sink and I emerged ready for a night out.  I stuffed my room key, driver’s license and credit card into the hidden pocket inside my trench coat, threw it on, and left the suite.  It was 9:40 when I sat on one of the stools of the bar downstairs and ordered a cocktail.

“You sure that’ll be enough?  We close in twenty” the bartender said when he put it down.

“Gary, right?” I asked, taking a sip.  The hotel clerk wasn’t kidding, the cocktail was divine.

“Yeah.  You’re new in town.  Stacy told me”

“Stac…?”

“What was it that I told you?” a voice behind me said.  I turned to find the clerk, now dressed for her own night out, walking up to the bar and sitting beside me.  Gary placed a Blue Moon in front of her.

“Hello, Stacy” I smiled, tipping my cocktail.

“Hello, Luseres” she replied, doing the same with her Belgian white.

“No butterfly hair clips now, I see” I chuckled, motioning to her short halter dress, fishnet stockings, spike heeled booties, and leather coat.  Her blonde hair now hung loose, and she wore red lipstick.  She looked like a perfect Newyorker.

“Not after 9” she winked “I would ask if your room was to your satisfaction, but I’m not on the clock”

“That you would, and the room is fine.  No questionable white stains on my sheets”

She and Gary laughed.  

“So where are you going?” she asked.

“Nowhere.  Just came down for a drink”

Stacy and Gary gave me a look.

“There’s no way you’re going to waste looking like a total knockout on the restaurant bar.  Come with us, we’ll take you to the Falcon.  Gary and I are actually going on a double date to the movies, but we can walk you there.  Get you introduced”

“I know a few of my friends are there tonight.  Good fellas.  Come on, get some air.  You sure didn’t come all the way to Derry for a cocktail twenty minutes before the restaurant closes, now did ya?”

I nodded, looking into my glass.  Perhaps hanging out with a bunch of gay fellows, drinking merrily and laughing at their perfectly timed jokes was exactly what I needed.  Anything to lift the haze that seemed to settle over my head.

“Sounds like fun” I said, downing the cocktail.

The Falcon was everything that was promised.  From the moment I entered through the small door, there was a perfect ambiance of cheerful camaraderie.  The clientele was mostly exclusively male.  The few women there sat in pairs or were mixed in with the men.  A small platform in the corner hosted a small band.  The place was only half full.

“Wait till midnight, this place will be packed” Stacy whispered as we made our way inside.    Gary motioned to three young men at the bar, and I was introduced to Jayson, Riley, and Paul.  Paul, an accountant from Bangor, was Gary’s cousin.  Jayson was a manager at one of the mall shops, and Paul said he lived in Portland.  He shook my hand almost too eagerly.  I could feel his transfixed gaze on me as Gary and Stacy said their goodbyes and left.

“Oh my god” Paul finally burst after we were seated “it’s you”

Oh shit.

“Who?” I asked innocently. The other two looked at him confused.

“Don’t pretend.  You’re Scarlett Gregorian.  Guys, she’s the girl in The Phantom.  We went to see it at the Merrill, remember?  It’s her.  Christine Daae”

“Holy shit!” cried Riley, taking one good look at me “you ain’t kidding!”

“Oh my god, I love you” swooned Jayson “you were a vision.   The way you sang Think of Me, it was like… angels were blessing us from above” he clutched his chest and looked up as if entranced.

I laughed.  “Thanks guys, but please, don’t tell anyone.  I came here to get away from it all”

They all nodded in understanding.  “Your secret is safe with us” winked Riley.

“Oh, and don’t call me Scarlett.  Call me Luseres.  Lus for short.  It’s my real name”

“I knew Scarlett Gregorian was a stage name.  Nobody has names like that nowadays” laughed Paul.

The drinks flowed.  Conversation with those guys was effortless.  They loved pop culture, the arts, and were surprisingly well versed in Derry history. They loved their hometown, a sentiment I found was shared by all who seemed to feel fortunate enough to grow and live in Derry.  They talked of white Christmases, vibrant springs, and warm lazy summer days spent splashing around in the quarry or playing in a place they called The Barrens.  It wasn’t until they began talking about the social atmosphere of the town that their faces fell.  

“A friend of ours was killed three months ago, not far from here.  Some homophobic assholes attacked him and his boyfriend” Riley finally said.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry”

“You see, Derry is not entirely… welcoming of us” Jayson explained “and there seems to be a lot of tragic events and freak crimes that happen every few years.  It’s weird, really”

Paul nodded.  “In the eighties, a bunch of kids went missing.  Some bodies were recovered, some not.  They finally found out that it was a high school kid who went crazy and started killing his classmates”

“Jesus” I winced.

“It got so bad, they had a curfew and everything.  My momma told me that kids couldn’t be outside past 7.  And you know what the weirdest thing is?”

I looked at them expectantly.

“It never made national news.  Nothing that happens in Derry ever catches national attention.  It all just seems to be… buried” Jayson said.

I stirred my vodka tonic, staring at the ice cubes clinking inside the glass.  If Derry was in fact a portal to another dimension, it was no wonder that weird shit would happen in the town.  I remembered how I felt back at the hotel, that heavy feeling that seemed to press me down, almost stifling.  It seemed like a presence looked down on Derry, manipulating and constricting.   I could almost feel someone watching me.  I felt a shiver go down my spine, and I shuddered.

“Well, it seems I picked the wrong town to hide in” I joked, almost sarcastically.

All three laughed.  “Nah, you’re ok.  Aside from the homophobia and missing kids, Derry is the best place to be” said Paul.

“What was your friend’s name?”

“Adrian.  Adrian Mellon”

I raised my glass.  “To Adrian”

“To Adrian!” they echoed loudly, and to my surprise, everyone in the bar raised their glasses.  

“We love you forever, Adrian!” a guy in the back shouted, and we all downed our drinks.  

“Well, enough of that sad talk.  Let’s drink!” exclaimed Riley, and he called for a refill.  Elmer, the owner, was a kind, older man who poured and mixed drinks to perfection.  He flirted with me, asked constantly if I was enjoying myself, and made sure to engage in small talk with every patron that walked through his door.  

By midnight, the place was full and alive.  The band now played today’s hits and a space was cleared in the middle for dancing.  I was literally pulled by my new three friends, but before I knew it, I was singing Rihanna songs at the top of my lungs, and danced until my feet could go no more.  I ended the night barefoot at the pool table, kicking everyone’s ass at 8-ball.

Silently I thanked Stacy, the pretty hotel clerk, and her friend Gary for walking me there.

3. The Call of the Siren

2:45 a.m.


We walked down the clean, pristine boardwalk that ran down the length of the Canal.  Antique light posts lined down the path, bathing the small park in ethereal light.  It was now close to 3 a.m.  The bar had closed down at 2, and without a moan from the packed establishment, everyone had simply gathered up their things and filed out in small groups, dispersing into the darkened town.  For a moment I wondered how everyone seemed to simply feel at ease, considering the murder that happened recently and the hostility that seemed to be prominent in the small town.  The memory of Adrian Mellon was alive in the bar, but once outside in the crisp night air, the danger was forgotten.  Riley, Jayson, and I chatted away.  Paul walked ahead, dancing down the boardwalk.  

“’Cause Uptown Funk will give it ya… Saturday night and we in the spot…” he belted as he stinky-legged past benches and rose bushes.

“Shut up, you twit” Riley called out.  Paul gave him the finger.  We all laughed. We eventually reached a roofed bridge built out of red painted beams.  The laughing, singing, and stinky-legging stopped abruptly.

“They call it the Kissing Bridge” Jayson said “It’s for carving names and sucking face”

“And bumping uglies” Paul said, but there was no humor in his voice.

“This is where it happened” Riley said, barely above a whisper “they threw him down and…” his voice broke.

I examined the bridge.  It was something out of stock photography.  A perfect, triangular roof topped the structure and window shutters lined the length of the bridge.  Beneath, the sound of gentle running water drifted up like a lullaby.  It was impossible to imagine that the scene of such a heinous, horrific murder had happened at such a beautiful location.  Or in this town.  In the short hours since my arrival, the thought had already been established in my mind that Derry was the most beautiful place I had ever seen.  

I walked up to the entrance of the bridge, and noticed the small lights that were placed strategically at three equally-spaced places on the roof.  For a second, I wondered what was on the other side…

“Lus…” Jayson said.  I turned to him and noticed his hands in his pockets and his feet shuffling on the gravel.  “Could you… sing?  Here? Please?”

I smiled at the thought.  It was a beautiful sentiment.

“What would you like me to sing?” I asked softly.

“Think of Me” Paul called.   All three looked at one another and nodded in agreement.

I walked to the edge where the boardwalk and the entrance to the bridge met, oblivious to the fact that I was standing on the exact spot where Adrian Mellon had leaned over backwards before plunging down to meet his greatest horror.  I drew in a breath, feeling the cool stillness of the Maine night air, looking up at the star-studded sky.  Orion, the hunter, was most prominent.  I looked within to the far recesses of my mind, that locked vault of painful memories from whence my singing voice came.  I was immediately engulfed by that fully familiar yet inexplicable sadness that had walked beside me since my childhood, and I let 12-year-old Luseres come through.

“Think of me
 Think of me fondly
 When we've said goodbye
 Remember me
 Once in a while
 Please promise me you'll try…”

They were crying, all three of them.  Riley choked up a sob, Paul dabbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and Jayson placed an arm around each.  As I sang, I became aware of shuffling in the bushes around and under the bridge.  Pairs of heads popped up in the dark:  Couples, startled by the sudden song that drifted in the air, had ceased their lustful exertions and looked around curious.  I sang louder.

“We never said our love was evergreen
 Or as unchanging as the sea
 But if you can still remember
 Stop and think of me…”

I walked down the boardwalk slowly, stopping ever so often at the railing and singing out into the night.  Below, the Canal hummed gently, the soft rush of water that drifted upwards and carried my voice downstream.  And then, I slowly felt the air change, as if a vibration seemed to echo back at me from deep within the ground.  Maybe it was Adrian, or maybe, no, it felt different.  It felt… Inhuman.  Like a deep, groaning rumble that reached out to me from the other side of the Canal.  

“Think of all the things we've shared and seen
 Don't think about the way things might have been…”

As the lyrics poured out of me of their own accord, I began to survey the area around me.  My eyes were fixed on the opposite bank, on the silhouettes of trees and plant growth.  There was nothing but black and grey shadows.  I shook away the feeling, and then, as I drew in a breath to sing the next stanza, the song drowned in my throat.

There was someone watching me on the other side, from a semi-hidden position, crouched between two bushes. I could see the paleness of his face from where I stood.  On closer inspection, I noticed that his skin was more than pale, it was ghastly white.  He seemed to be smiling, then I realized that the grin was only painted on his features, a smile that from the distance seemed to reach his eyes in two undulating lines.  Tufts of wispy red hair protruded from his head.  The white clothes that covered his entire body seemed to shine like silver in the darkness.  With a gasp, I realized it was a clown.  He waved at me. 

“Lus?”  it was Jayson who pulled me out of my shock.  I let out a long breath, and found my voice again.

“Think of me
 Think of me waking silent and resigned
 Imagine me trying too hard
 To put you from my mind…”

I was leaning slightly over the railing, and unbeknownst to me, I was no longer singing to the three men behind me, I was singing to my secret audience on the opposite bank.  I was transfixed, feeling myself being pulled by a magnet.  I belted out the last stanza, letting my voice float straight toward him as if it were a siren song.

“Recall those days
 Look back on all those times
 Think of the things we'll never do
 There will never be a day
 When I won't think of you!…”

The clown stood slowly.  The silver white silk of his suit glistened in the darkness, and as he came to full height, I took notice of the single red balloon in his right hand.  He stretched out his hand and offered it to me as I brought the song to its melancholic yet triumphant climax.  

“Flowers fade
 The fruits of summer fade
 They have their seasons
 So do we
 But please promise me that sometimes
 You will think…

I paused for a second, and felt my heart swell.

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ho!
 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ho!   Ho-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh-
of me!”

The clown let go of the red balloon with a most exaggerated gesture.  He twirled and threw his hands up in the air in a show of pure delight.  I curtsied to him, and when I looked up, he was gone.  

Only the balloon remained, floating upwards into the darkness.

“That was amazing!” Riley cheered.  Paul and Jayson clapped, and they all embraced me.  

“Did you see him?” I asked.

“Who?” asked Paul.

“The clown.  He was really into it” I laughed, looking up at the sky. The red balloon had now drifted out of view.

All three looked at me completely puzzled.

“What clown?”

End of Chapter 2

CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER 3

-----

Tagged: @hello-helianthus

[bigyack-com]

Movie Crowds Stay Away. Theaters Hope It’s Not for Good.

LOS ANGELES — For most of last week, movie theater executives clung grimly on.At issue, among other things, was CinemaCon, an annual Las Vegas event intended to bolster the most fragile part of the film business: leaving the house, buying a ticket and sitting in the dark with strangers to watch stories unfold on big screens. The National Association of Theater Owners was under pressure to call off the convention because of the coronavirus pandemic, but worries abounded about potential consumer fallout.What message would canceling the confab send to potential ticket buyers, including those increasingly likely to skip cinemas — even in the best of times — and watch films on streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Disney Plus? American cinemas, after all, were staying open in the face of the pandemic.Reality eventually made the association pull the plug on CinemaCon, another example of how seemingly every part of American life has been disrupted because of the coronavirus. For movie theaters, however, the pandemic could be a point of no return.The National Association of Theater Owners has insisted that streaming services are not a threat. “Through every challenge, through every new technology innovation over the last twenty years, theatrical admissions have been stable and box office has consistently grown,” John Fithian, the association’s chief executive, said in a January news release titled “theater owners celebrate a robust 2019 box office.” Ticket sales in North America totaled $11.4 billion, down 4 percent from a record-setting 2018.Many analysts, however, see a very different picture. Looking at the last 20 years of attendance figures, the number of tickets sold in North America peaked in 2002, when cinemas sold about 1.6 billion. In 2019, attendance totaled roughly 1.2 billion, a 25 percent drop — even as the population of the United States increased roughly 15 percent. Cinemas have kept ticket revenue high by raising prices, but studio executives say there is limited room for continued escalation. Offerings in theaters may also grow more constrained. Even before the pandemic, major studios were starting to route smaller dramas and comedies toward streaming services instead of theaters.And now comes the coronavirus, which has prompted people to bivouac in their homes, theaters to put in place social-distancing restrictions and studios to postpone most theatrical releases through the end of April. Rich Greenfield, a founder of the LightShed Partners media research firm, predicted that the disruption would speed the ascendance of streaming.“The behavior was already shifting, but this hits the accelerator pedal,” Mr. Greenfield said. “I think most of the global exhibition business will be in bankruptcy by the end of the year.”He added, “Now studios are going to think more and more about why they are relying on third parties to distribute their content.”As studios have postponed theatrical releases like “Mulan” and “No Time to Die,” they have been careful to express loyalty for theaters. “We believe in and support the theatrical experience,” Paramount Pictures said in a statement on Thursday, when it announced that “A Quiet Place Part II” would no longer arrive in theaters on March 20. But a question looms: Could the pandemic hasten long-brewing changes in the way that new movies roll out?Most movies still arrive the same way they have for decades. They appear first in theaters, for an exclusive run of about 90 days, and then in homes. Theater chains, including AMC, Regal and Cinemark, have fought off efforts to shorten the exclusivity period. They worry that people will be reluctant to buy tickets if they can see the same film on their living room television set or iPad screen just a few weeks (or days) later.Many entertainment companies, however, are eager to shorten that exclusive window and make some films available on their streaming platforms, in part to reduce marketing costs.The biggest studios declined to comment. A senior Disney executive, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to a reporter, said that rerouting “Mulan” to the company’s Disney Plus streaming service was not currently under discussion, in part because of piracy concerns. (Disney Plus is not yet available outside the United States.) Even so, Disney is clearly mindful of the power of its video platform. The company brought “Frozen II” to Disney Plus on Sunday — three months earlier than planned. (The musical was released in theaters on Nov. 22.) Disney described that move as “surprising families with some fun and joy during this challenging period.”With the masses staying at home, ticket sales dropped precipitously over the weekend, even though two high-profile new films, “Bloodshot” and “The Hunt,” arrived in wide release. Each was supported by a marketing campaign costing tens of millions of dollars, and the money had already been spent by early last week, when the pandemic intensified in the United States and studios started to postpone releases planned for later in the month.“Bloodshot,” starring Vin Diesel as a superhero, collected roughly $9.3 million, according to Comscore. It cost Sony and several financing partners about $45 million to make. “The Hunt” (Universal Pictures), a satirical horror film about elites killing “deplorables,” cost about $15 million to make and took in $5.3 million.The No. 1 movie was a holdover, “Onward” (Disney-Pixar), which sold about $10.5 million in tickets in its second weekend — a 73 percent decline from its first three days in theaters. Pixar movies typically decline 30 percent to 45 percent from their first to second weekends, demonstrating the impact of coronavirus fears on moviegoing. Cinemas will soon run out of high-profile new films to show. Studios like Disney, Universal, Sony and Paramount all postponed films scheduled for release this spring, including “The New Mutants,” “Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway” and “F9,” the ninth chapter in the “Fast and Furious” series.“The core audience for our film is older moviegoers, and we want them to be able to see it at a time that’s safe,” said Tom Dolby, who directed “The Artist’s Wife,” a drama that was set for limited release starting on April 3 but was postponed.Theater chains in the United States are doing anything they can to avoid shutting down. AMC Entertainment, the No. 1 multiplex operator in North America, said on Friday that it would reduce the number of theatergoers allowed in all of its auditoriums by 50 percent so that people could leave at least one empty seat between each other. No auditorium would offer a capacity beyond 250, the company said — a threshold that some states, including California, have said group activities should not exceed until the pandemic eases.AMC said its restrictions would last until April 30. The company seemed to indicate that it was making the move to avoid possible government intervention; some chains in Europe have been forced to close entirely. AMC said it was “reducing the availability of tickets to comply with any current or future federal, state or local governmental order.” AMC’s stock price has fallen 59 percent over the last month; it closed on Friday at $3.22.The Cineworld Group, which owns Regal Entertainment, followed AMC and reduced its auditorium capacity by half. In a statement, Regal said it was “complying, where applicable, with state mandates on social gathering limits. We welcome moviegoers into our theaters!” Mooky Greidinger, Cineworld’s chief executive, told analysts on Thursday during a year-end earnings discussion that the company had so far experienced a “minimal” impact from the pandemic but that Cineworld would be unable to pay its debts if people started to stay home in droves.Cinemark, the No. 3 chain in the United States behind Regal, referred questions to the National Association of Theater Owners, which declined to comment. Alamo Drafthouse, a Texas-based chain with about 40 locations, required social distancing at some theaters while closing others outright.With most finished live-action films pulled off the release calendar — “Black Widow” from Marvel-Disney remains scheduled for May 1 — film companies have started to halt or slow their assembly lines. Disney, for instance, temporarily stopped production on a new version of “The Little Mermaid,” which was supposed to begin shooting in London; “The Last Duel,” a period epic starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon; and “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings,” a Marvel superhero film.As a result, even films scheduled for release at Christmas, like “The Last Duel,” will most likely be delayed. (“The Little Mermaid” and “Shang-Chi” were never expected before 2021.)Reached by phone in Budapest on Friday, moments after the announcement that the World War II drama “The Nightingale” was being shut down because of fears of the coronavirus and the European travel ban put into place by President Trump, its producer, Elizabeth Cantillon, said she was heartbroken.“If you can’t produce content, then I don’t know what to say,” she said. “Movie theaters, television networks, Netflix — they all need content all the time. If we can’t produce it because we can’t be next to each other, what happens? It’s just going to be a lot of YouTube videos of people in their bedrooms.”Kyle Buchanan contributed reporting. Read the full article

[bike42]

Adventures in Quarantine March-May 2020

Corona Virus Upends Life as We Knew It              

Chapter One: Denial

Just after the New Year, we started hearing about Corona Virus, and the resulting disease of COVID-19 as something happening in China.  Without giving much thought to the global nature of life these days, we continued life as normal.  

On January 21st the first US case of COVID was confirmed in the US (Seattle area).

February 5-14: We flew to Florida for the IFA conference in Orlando, then spent a few days on the Gulf Coast in Sarasota.  We had uncharacteristically warm weather and thoroughly enjoyed our get away.  

Feb 25-27:  Jeff travelled to Atlanta for his BrightStar Performance Group meeting.  Compared to the flights just two weeks before, he said his flights were pretty empty, already people were cancelling their travel plans.

March 6 – I went to the UW Hospital for an ADRC Ambition Study Visit.  Seemed like business as usual.

March 6-8  We met Sandra and Matt in Minneapolis for the week-end.  With beautiful weather, we walked a lot and went to the Farmer’s Market at the Mill Museum, The Walker Art Museum, and on Sunday Jeff and I attended the Minnesota Auto Show at the Convention Center.  We didn’t know it at the time, but it was the last time we were in large crowds and were able eat in restaurants until who knows when we’ll be back to that?!

March 10  Jeff and I drove to Chicago to attend the BrightStar Midwest Owner’s Meeting.  Just before the meeting, BrightStar set up an option to attend the session virtually via something called “Zoom” meeting (had never heard of it before, but now we are Zooming nearly every day!).  About 40 people attended the session, and Shelly, the originally hugger, mandated that no one touch, shake hands or hug. Honestly, I thought that was a bit extreme, but now in the era of “social distancing,” it’s our new normal.  This was the last face-to-face business meeting we’ll attend in who knows how long.  The BrightStar Leadership Team also decided to cancel the BrightStar Leadership Conference scheduled in Dallas in mid-April.

Madison had the first Wisconsin confirmed COVD-19 case on March 11, at the UW hospital.

March 12 – Governor Evers declared a “public health emergency” for the State of WI.  We weren’t exactly sure what that meant at the time.  Also, that day, Jeff had scheduled a visit with his primary MD Trent Thompson to discuss heartburn / exercise induced chest pain that he’d had over the last several months (note title of this chapter = denial).  Dr Thompson scheduled an Upper GI exam and due the fact that Jeff used the words “chest pain” and he also had a slightly abnormal EKG, he also ordered a Stress Test.  After the MD visit, we headed to Costco where there was quite a buzz with people stocking up on cleaning supplies – we thought it was hysterical, but this was the beginning of the great “Toilet Paper Shortage” of 2020.  Crazy

March 13:  CMS mandated that all Nursing Home facilities across the country stop in-person visits and limit entrance to employees only. Although not required of Assisted Livings, we thought this was a good idea and implemented it for our BrightStar Senior Living communities.  We also instituted temperature and symptom monitoring for all staff as they entered the building, and daily temperature and wellness checks for our residents.

We also started having Home Care and Staffing employees that had traveled “out of state” start performing daily temperature checks.  Since we’d recently been to MN and IL, we also started our daily checks.

Around this time, many schools were on spring break, some extended the break a bit, throwing parents into a panic.

The government started talking about plans to help the country – promised of $600 a week in federal unemployment benefits (on top of state benefits), payment breaks on SBA loans, and several other loan and grant programs for businesses.  It really added to the confusion going on as schools were talking about closing, the threat of businesses closing, and then the uncertainty around if our business could be defined as “healthcare” and therefore an “essential business.”  We were just in the process of switching over to Waunakee Community Bank, for personal and business, so it was a great time to see how much of a partner they’d be for us.

Chapter Two:  This Just Got Real

Sunday March 15:  We attended church as usual, not knowing that this would be the last church service we’d attend in person in some time.  As it was, there was a bit of uncomfortableness during the time when we get up and move about and greet one another.  No hugs or handshakes – some people bumped elbows, some practiced “distance” high fives.  For the first time ever, I was uncomfortable with the thought of someone ripping off a hunk of bread for me as we participated in communion.

That evening we were notified that 2 BSL-M residents were sent to the ER with respiratory symptoms. We were relieved a few hours later to hear both had testing positive for influenza, and they were returned to the community where they were quarantined to their rooms and recovered without issue. We felt like we dodged a bullet.

Monday March 16: Jeff had his Upper GI procedure at St Mary’s outpatient surgery unit this AM.  All the nurses were decked out in full PPE with facemasks, and only a small percentage of the normally scheduled cases were performed.  With Jeff, they found a tiny hiatal hernia (too small to worry about), and Schottky’s ring (which they stretched).  We were sent on our way, feeling somewhat like we didn’t get the answers we are searching for.  

Sad afternoon, we got home from St Mary’s and decided we should take Tiger cat into the Vet’s Urgent Care as he’d been pretty listless for about a week.  The vet was on “lockdown” and you called them from the parking lot and they came out and took your pet in – you had to stay in the car.  I was not happy about that, but stopped myself from pitching a fit.  Soon they called and told us they found that he was in early stages of heart failure, so we made the decision to put him down.  We called Bailey to come out, and we were able to spend some final precious moments with a sedated Tiger, telling him how much we loved him and what a great cat he’d been.  So hard, but a good end to a wonderful 16 years.

Tuesday March 17: normal day at work.  We recorded several videos to be sent out to our staff with a “we got this” theme.  So odd to look back at that now, didn’t even realize what was in store.

Wednesday March 18: Up as usual, and I headed downstairs to our home gym.  Several minutes later, Jeff sent me a text saying “come up.”  I found him lying on the floor in our bathroom – with horrible chest pain.  I called 911 but it wasn’t until the EMTs were here with him hooked up to the EKG that I actually understood that he was having a heart attack.  Now we know there were warning signs, but something like this was never on our radar!

Amazing work from the Waunakee EMTs and we found ourselves back at St Mary’s in the Cardiac Cath lab. Ryan joined me there, and after about 90 minutes we met up with Jeff in Cardiac Care Unit.  Jeff had blockage of his cardiac arteries – repaired with 5 stents and now a life changing array of medications (blood pressure, cholesterol lowering and blood thinning).  He was always fit, ate well, exercised, had low BP and cholesterol … but heart disease runs in his family and you can’t beat genetics.

He was in the hospital until Friday March 20th, and our world completely changed during those days.  The cardiac event alone rocked our world, but during this time the governor signed a “Safer at Home” order which closed all businesses except those deemed essential. We emerged from the hospital on Friday to a different world.

Saturday March 21st was my dad’s 80th birthday.  My parents were driving back to WI from Florida (also in denial), and it felt so wrong to not have them stop in to visit, or be able to visit them, but we knew we had to stay isolated at home at this point in our lives.

It took some time to get used to our new normal and get settled into our home.  New routine for Sox our remaining cat as well.  Much of that first week was a blur.

Tuesday March 24th - BSL-W resident Bob, had respiratory symptoms as was sent to the hospital early this morning tested positive for COVID-19.  The news was devastating to me.  My heart was breaking for all the families that trusted us to care for their loved ones.  Even with restricting visitors and screening staff, the darned virus got in.  While we already knew we weren’t alone – I can’t describe what a devastating feeling this was.  Our management staff were amazing, however the majority of our caregiving staff (and our brother and sister cooks) all freaked out and left. Later that week, Doris, another resident that was already on hospice also died – presumably of COVID-19 since she had respiratory symptoms.   On Saturday April 4th, another resident (Ray) suddenly developed symptoms and was admitted to the hospital, not expected to live.  I took that news especially hard – I’d had a conversation with Ray during my last visit into the community (March 4th).  He’d been watching the news about how hard the nursing home in Seattle was hit with the virus and felt like they were “sitting ducks.”  What we learned was all attempts to screen or use available PPE wasn’t enough, when apparently, some carry the virus asymptomatically.  Also, on Saturday, Ray’s wife Lynne went to the hospital and also tested positive for the virus, but didn’t have severe symptoms.  On the morning of Thursday, April 9th, I was out for a run in the morning and as I was on my way home, I saw an ambulance outside BSL-W and I lost it. I’m sure I was quite a sight – yelling at God, screaming and crying on the sidewalk.  Probably the most helpless feeling I’ve ever had.  We finally got the health department to cooperate and provide tests for our staff and residents.  8 residents were presumed positive (3 deaths, 3 hospitalized and recovered, two showed no symptoms).  4 staff members tested positive and were quite ill, some out 4 weeks before they felt well enough to return.  True heroes – everyone involved:  residents and their families, managers, and staff.

Chapter Three:  Our New Normal

Government – I’m not even going to get into what terrible leadership our president demonstrated during this crisis.  Both the house and senate went to work in unprecedented fashion and in short time they introduced an array of bills – some good for us, some not, some that we’re still trying to figure out 6+ weeks later.  Payroll Protection Act – gave us loans that could turn into grants if we keep people working – Families First Corona Leave Act was an FMLA that gave non-essential workers unlimited time off to care for their families – Federal UI Act promising $600 a week in UI on top of what someone can get from the state (more than most of our workers are paid to work!!).  Crazy times, and a roller-coaster of uncertainty as we tried to figure out what applies to us, what works for us, what could hurt us, etc.

Zoom Meetings and “work” from home / gardening class.  Zoom church. Zoom Yoga.  Zoom meetings with friends.  Zoom meetings with WI DHS twice a week regarding COVID matters.  Zoom meetings with Littler twice a week, scaring the crap out of us with all the ways people can be suing us over COVID and myriad of other employment related issues!

School – though this didn’t affect us, school was cancelled for the rest of the year. Can’t imagine what that was like – the stress it put on working families, especially lower income who were less likely to have internet access and even access to food the way some kids did through school.  

Workouts – we loved getting up every day without the alarm clock, having our home gym.  On nice days I’d bring my yoga mat up to the porch.  We gradually got out walking, measuring heart rates and before long we were up to walking 7 miles with weighted packs.

Cooking – Jeff always loved to cook and it was great to have the extra time to make soups and clean out the pantry and see what kind of mixes were in there.  He also baked a Key Lime Pie, which was awesome.  

Wine – initially we were home with Ryan bringing us supplies and groceries.  My stash of “everyday” wine dwindled and I started tapping into the good stuff – I mean, what was I saving it for anyway?  By May, we were venturing back to Costco with masks on, so I was able to restock the “everyday” wine.  I also started making margaritas again – I mean, we had 5 bottles of tequila in our bar for some reason!!  As the weather warmed up, our condo ladies (Judy, Joan and me) started having wine parties on our patio - practicing social distancing of course.  Sure, was good to socialize with actual people again!

Puzzles – early into quarantine one night after Jeff had gone to bed, I got out a jigsaw puzzle that I’d had for awhile but had never put together (a series of VW beetles). We worked on it over the next few days and found it was calming, and something we could work on together. After we completed that, I found a few more in the basement, and then ordered a few more online.  Like a lot of things, they were becoming hard to find – took 3 weeks for Amazon delivery!!  The last one we are still working on – 1000-piece Macho Pichu with tiny little pieces!!

House Cleaning – after the heart attack, we realized we needed to quarantine alone, so we put our cleaning service on hold.  At first, we’d forget that the toilets needed to be cleaned and we’d realize the floor was disgusting.  It didn’t take long for us to get back into the routine of cleaning, and we think part of our new normal will be doing the cleaning ourselves again.  We’re not working the excessive hours that we were 10 years ago when we first broke down and hired cleaners.   Except wow – does the dust ever pile up!

Newspaper: “The Wide World of No Sports” The sports section is hysterical.  They’re working so hard to find things to publish.  Same with sports on TV.  Really – who wants to watch old games and old golf tournaments. One cool thing though was they published the AP Writers Top 25 Sports Movies, so were working on watching all of those (some old favorites, some good, at least one so far has been terrible). Here’s the list:

1.       Hoosiers

2.       Bull Durham

3.       Rocky

4.       Caddyshack

5.       Slap Shot

6.       Field of Dreams

7.       Raging Bull

8.       Major League

9.       The Natural

10.   A League of Their Own

11.   Moneyball

12.   The Bad News Bears

13.   Miracle

14.   Hoop Dreams

15.   Eight Men Out

16.   Chariots of Fire

17.   White Men Can’t Jump

18.   Remember the Titans

19.   Rudy

20.   Seabiscuit

21.   Breaking Away

22.   The Pride of the Yankees

23.   When We Were Kings

24.   Brian’s Song

25.   Friday Night Lights

26.   The Sandlot

Chapter Four:  Getting Old

Easter came and went. While I’m getting used to participating in church via video, Easter without family just felt like another day.

The week after Easter, we should have been at a conference in Vegas.  Its been rescheduled to September, on top of everything else.  If we can do things in September, we’re going to have to prioritize!!

Everything has been cancelled for the summer – IFA Summer Board meeting, Waunafest, Shake the Lakes Festival, State Fair, Farmer’s Market, everthing!!  No idea how or when Baseball and Football will start, and if they’ll play games in empty stadiums or what.  

The Wisconsin Supreme Court decided that the “Safer at Home” order was illegal, which threw the state into a state of confusion.  There is a real divide between people that want everything back open, and people that are still freaked out.  No one knows. As of May 26, 2020 – places are allowed to slowly open.  Salons by appointment; restaurants at 25% capacity.  We are still wearing masks in public, and since we’re working in healthcare, we’re enforcing even wearing masks in our office – not a popular decision, but they’ll be thankful if this spikes up again!

I’m feeling more used to it, and spending more time working on some of the work projects that I thought I’d be knocking out during this time.  It was just so hard to focus for the first 8 weeks – everything was about the darn virus!!

Jeff is knocking off house projects like crazy.  We’ve bought a new dinning room rug and moved some others around; he’s washing and waxing the cars that don’t go anywhere.  I’ve got him on a chipmunk reduction program now.  

I’m still working on my Master Gardner certification via Zoom and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time outside in the garden here and at our Waunakee BSL (and at church).  

We’ve also taken a few social distance hikes with our hiking group, and just this week decided to postpone September’s trip to Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro/Safari until September 2021. Its just too hard to believe that international travel will resume within the next few months.  I was terribly frustrated with that – I’m such a planner and it was making me crazy with nothing on our horizon.  Our hiking friend Gary came up with the idea to start knocking off segments of the Ice Age Trail – a 1000-mile trail that winds around Wisconsin.  Brilliant!! That’s exactly what I need – get away from the media, away from the crowds, and into nature.  By the time we’re done, things will be back to normal – whatever that is!  Stay tuned!!

We broke the news to our Leadership team that we’re about to hit the road again.  Most of them are used to it, and honestly, they brought us through this crisis with little support needed from us.  I’m so glad to have a plan.

[pisati]

I don’t really know how I want to see this. 

I don’t want to call it a turning point, necessarily. a benchmark, a new chapter. it almost feels like too solid of a line to draw.

but at the same time, it feels like there is a line being drawn. a kind of vague one.

this’ll be my first job in over a year. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to be able to take over a year off, but it really did fly by. somehow. people get different jobs all the time, that’s not what feels different about this. it’s the fact that I went to school for something, got a job in that something, and then... I don’t know. I don’t want to say I dropped it completely. but as much as I don’t want to admit it to myself, I just can’t see a future for myself in linguistics. maybe one day, not in an academic sense, maybe one day as a hobby. I will never not love it. 

but I was just thinking last night, after stumbling upon the twitter profile of a girl that used to be in my school’s PhD program (she was my TA in my first intro ling class, now she’s an assistant professor at UChicago. time certainly flies), that that sphere of academia is entirely out of my reach. I don’t feel smart enough for it, and after my time in undergrad I feel like I’m not disciplined enough for it either. I thought that was what I wanted. I thought that was what I was working towards. when I was 19 I could’ve seen that being me. I don’t see it anymore. I guess I can’t say it’ll never ever happen; I do feel like a lot of my problem is that I’m held back by what my insomnia does to me. maybe one day if I can fix that I’ll change my mind. but I’m also not sure I’ll ever be the kind of person who would fit in academia. I’ve been there. I’ve been in it. I follow other academic linguists on twitter, I see what things they think about and how they talk about them. I just don’t think I’m cut out for it. maybe one day if I find something within the scope of my education (or even slightly without; I do want to expand it). maybe I’ll go back to it. maybe.

but that puts me in this position where I need to work, and I need to figure out what I actually want to do. so here I am with this new job. as a receptionist. from $55k a year to $28k. and it’ll probably be less than that, because it’s going to be closer to 37.5-38 hours a week than 40. the feds were about to give me $70k. some part of me sees it as kind of a personal failing. I had such a strong trajectory. when I started college and started actually getting excited about school, I could see myself getting a PhD. I worked my ass off the next year, got my first straight-A year ever. I loved what I was learning, but I never figured out what I wanted to do. that was when I felt like I started stagnating. I felt the burnout starting to hit me during my third year. when I got that last job, after 5 years of undergrad, I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready for full-time either. I pushed myself through it, because I felt forced to. I needed a job, I wanted a job in my field. but I was so miserable. I had a whole year off and I still feel burnt out. this isn’t burnout. this is whatever my problem is. so maybe I can see switching gears again if I ever get my energy back. I just feel like I could’ve been doing so much better. I had a great running start, I hit the springboard, I took a pathetic hop off of it, and I curled up on the ground.

that doesn’t mean I can’t try again. I still have some hope for myself. it really depends on my health. 

for the more immediate present, though, it doesn’t feel all that good. I don’t know how I want to see this. as another transitory period, just buying myself time until I figure out what I want and until my health starts improving? as an opportunity, somehow? as much as I’d like to pivot into animal care, I don’t know that that’s right for me either. there’s not much pay out there unless you’re a doctor, and that’s not something I can do. or even want to do. it kills me that pay is the only thing keeping me away from it.

I’ve been thinking about psychology for grad school. I need to be more specific about my goals before I go after it, but even looking at pay for masters-level clinicians and social workers... it’s not great. certainly not enough to support myself where I live. you really do need to either be making $80k+ per year or have someone to split rent with around here. charlotte’s got her fiance. any other friends that are still here have their significant others; even friends not around here have theirs. or else other roommates. I’m even starting to lose my confidence about the low-income housing option here. I could move, but salary and cost-of-living often trend in the same directions. salaries here are higher than a lot of places, but rent is also astronomical. places where rent is cheap also don’t tend to pay much. I feel like I’m kind of fucked no matter where I end up, because it’s just me. it’d be a pleasant surprise to not end up alone, but I’m planning for it as an inevitability. and god damn is it hard. there’s really not much I want to do (or could ever be able to do, feels like) that will pay enough. 

I feel kind of defeated. overall. not hopeless quite yet. I just don’t know what’s coming, and that makes me nervous. I shot myself in the foot and lost the biggest opportunity I could have possibly had. not that I would’ve liked it, but I could’ve stomached it for the pay. I just want to do something I like. something I feel like I can flourish and grow in. something I can do until I retire (if I can even fucking retire). I want to feel good about what I do, not sitting in my car crying on the way to work or wanting to veer into oncoming traffic on the way home. pay vs. cost of living is something that’s entirely beyond my hands. I’m going to have to suck it up and do something. hope it’ll work out. at least I’ve got the small comfort of a nest egg, courtesy of my dad. I’ll never know how I got that lucky.

my close friends know my situation. the few people I’ve talked to about it have been very understanding. I guess part of me is a little afraid of being judged. I’m one of two people I know of from my program who have left the field; the other one is the girl who worked in my lab and spent a lot of her time texting instead of making scheduling calls, was late to lab meetings, and never seemed to care much about the studies or what they were looking at. pretty sure everyone else I know of either went into industry (one girl got a job in portland, lucky fuckin duck) or managed to stay in research. one of my co-labbers got a position with CASL. I can kind of feel the disappointment from my lab manager and professor from 3 years ago; feeling ashamed that I ended up probably about where they thought I would. I can’t blame myself for not knowing what I wanted. I need to remind myself of that. I loved what I did, I worked hard, but there was no way to know that it just wasn’t for me. 

I feel like I need to explain myself to people, and I don’t know why. why am I afraid of being seen the way I think people see me? nobody likes being in a bad light. I like to think I’ve been doing a little better about it, anyway. too many bleeding-heart statuses on facebook back in the day. I could just say well, fuck everyone else, then. but I think at the root of it... I want to feel understood. I don’t want to feel judged by people I know. I don’t like feeling like they know this version of me that isn’t the actual one; the one they made up in their heads based on assumptions in tandem with what little other information they have. fuck em if they don’t want to know the actual me, then, I guess. that doesn’t leave me with much.

I’m a little sad that I had all this time off and I feel like I wasted it. a whole year! to do whatever I wanted! I could go anywhere any time and I fucking didn’t! there’s so much I could have done, and I spent 85% of the last year exhausted and sad curled up in bed. and in a fuckload of pain, so it’s cool that we’re just resolving that as my break is ending. would’ve been cool to not have a year+ of jaw pain and headaches, in the same way it would’ve been cool to not have had to deal with a nasty ringworm infection for the entirety of my last semester in college. it is what it is, I guess.

but, like my [sort-of] regrets about spending my time in college not going out, I don’t think I’d have done much different if I could go back. I felt like I needed all this rest. being able to nap whenever I needed it has been a real blessing; it’d have been nice if it had ever made me feel less tired, of course. it’s given me a lot of time for self-reflection, not that I can remember much of the last two years anyhow. a lot of time to calm down, to take stock of where I am and what I might want. this is the longest stretch of time I’ve had with no school, no work, no anything since I was 2 years old. it’s been weird to be just outside the drawn-in lines of society. being able to go anywhere, any time; when doctors’ offices ask me what times work for me for appointments, I’ve been able to say “what times do you have?”, because most of the time any of them worked just fine. 

so in a way I do want to kind of draw a line here. this is going to be a slow pivot, I imagine, but it’s my first real step in a direction of any sort since... probably since I applied to UMD. this is the first choice I actually wanted to make. not just the best opportunity. not just the most strategic move career-wise. it’s maybe the first step on a ladder climbing out of a pool; ‘just’ a step, but it’s a step. it’s something I can use to anchor myself until I figure out how to climb the rest of it. 

if this is the start of a new chapter, I’m happy to close the last one. I want to focus my efforts right now on continuing to work on my health (backtracked on the word ‘fix’, because that’s probably not realistic). it’s so helpful to have a psychiatrist who actually works with me and wants answers almost as badly as I do. even my neuropsych took down her information, because he said he loves working with actually good psychiatrists, ha. I’m so grateful for her; she gave me back a little faith that psychiatry could be helpful for me. next step is a therapist that I can afford. baby steps. I want to look more seriously into graduate school. I need to; I’m not going to be a receptionist forever. my neuropsych recommended I find a vocational counselor, and I think that’s a good idea. someone that can actually help me figure out what my skills and passions are most suited for, rather than just telling me “you can do whatever you want to do (:” 

I feel like I can breathe, finally. I just hope that this is the start of an upward turn. I’ve got a lot of anxieties, still, but I know I need to learn how to shut them up and just take things one step at a time. keep the hope that things will work out. somehow. somehow.

[thatwriterchickrachel]

Mysteries at Midnight - 52.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Relationships: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng; Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe; Chat Noir/Ladybug

Characters:

Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)

Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug)

Alya Césaire

Adrien Agreste

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Nino Lahiffe

Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug)

Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)

Madame Bustier (Miraculous Ladybug)

Chloé Bourgeouis (Miraculous Ladybug)

Nathaniel Kurtzberg (Miraculous Ladybug)

Lila Rossi (Miraculous Ladybug)

Additional Tags:

dance au

Ballroom dance

College

Grown up AU

Royalty AU

Language:English

Read on Ao3

Chapters 1-30 Chapter 31               Chapter 32 Chapter 33               Chapter 34 Chapter 35               Chapter 36 Chapter 37               Chapter 38 Chapter 39               Chapter 40 Chapter 41               Chapter 42 Chapter 43               Chapter 44 Chapter 45               Chapter 46 Chapter 47               Chapter 48 Chapter 49               Chapter 50 Chapter 51               

Chapter 52 - Simple Changes

Summary: Marinette finds it hard to stay calm and Adrien just wants to be normal

Marinette had managed to kick Alya out a little earlier than planned and set to work on putting her dress in a garment bag and fixing her hair after a quick shower. She pulled it into a sleek bun just above the base of her neck and added a spray of red shimmer to help her feel a little more glamorous.

Her make-up she had kept simple, a deep red lip and dark winged eye. Her mask would be covering most of her face anyway she thought. Her phone chimed and she saw it was a message from Nino asking if she wanted him to pick her up.

She replied with a thank you and hurriedly pulled on her stockings followed by a pair of socks and a simple red dress she had made a few weeks before the whole Ladybug thing had even begun. Alya hadn’t seen it yet, which would make it a little easier for her to get away with her double identity a little longer. Marinette put on her mask, making sure it wouldn’t slip or smudge her makeup, threw her lip colour, eyeliner and a fresh towel into her dance bag with her shoes and said goodbye to Tikki. The bird squawked in reply as Marinette pulled on her boots and a jacket and locked the door; practically skipping down the stairs with her garment bag over her shoulders.

The street was thankfully empty as Nino pulled up and she carefully laid her garment bag as best she could in the back of his car, trying not to get it caught on Alya’s filming equipment before he pulled away.

“Can I ask you something?” Nino said as they drove in relative silence.

“Sure?”

“What was with last night? I mean, you can do what you like, I know you’re an adult and everything; but I thought you liked Adrien.”

Marinette sighed. Of course, Alya had asked her almost the same thing, but she had seemed more interested in why Chat Noir specifically.

“I do like Adrien, but Chat Noir… likes me. I know Adrien and Ladybug are… close. I know he likes her, and I know Chat does too… It’s just… Alya loved you for Nino before you were a DJ, right? Imagine if it had been the other way around. How would you know if it was you or this…persona you wore that she liked? Besides, I’m sure Adrien would be disappointed if he found out the truth about Ladybug. She’s… pretty much perfect. Everyone sees her as this, icon, I guess? She’s good at everything, everyone loves her. It takes a lot more for people to care about Marinette, no offense,” she added, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

Nino nodded but remained silent. It wasn’t until they pulled into the parking lot that he let out a breath.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Well… I thought about telling Alya,” she began and Nino’s eye widened. “But I kind of want to tell Chat Noir first. I feel like he deserves to know. I just… need to find the right time.”

He nodded, opening the car door pausing before he climbed out.

“I won’t say anything, of course, but I’m glad you’ve come to this conclusion on your own.”

She smiled and thanked him as she climbed out as well. She took the garment bag and Nino sighed as he saw all the equipment.

“I don’t even want to know where she got all this from.”

Marinette wished him luck, promising to send Alya out as she made her way into the building. Stepping into the office, she was hit with the sounds of bustling conversation as she lined up and waited to get her name signed off. She could feel some eyes on her but stood straight, hoping she looked appropriately relaxed and comfortable.

“Name?” the person at the desk sounded bored and highly strung at the same time, throwing Marinette off for a moment.

“Mar, I mean, Ladybug,” she quickly recovered. The person raised an eyebrow at her but scanned the list anyway, shaking their head a little when they found her name.

“Your partners already in there. He should have your number. The dressing rooms are through the hall and to the far left. Next!” he shouted and Marinette jumped but hurried out of the line.

Shaking her head a little, she stepped into the lively hallway. People chattered excitedly, dancers running back and forth from friends and family to the change areas down the hall, calling for things like hairspray, or make up.

Marinette made her way down the hall and saw where people were heading in. It was a large entertainment area, probably used for concerts or indoor sporting functions, Marinette speculated. In the centre there was a large area sectioned off and behind it were rows of seats, hundreds of seats, she realized. Her heart was beginning to speed up as she took in the four long judges tables, one along each end of the floor. Each table held four chairs, which meant sixteen judges would be watching them, Marinette gulped. She had greatly miscalculated how large this would be.

She saw two familiar heads of auburn and blonde hair standing by the open corner and talking together and she felt a moment of ease. Marinette made her way over to them, greeting them as she did.

“Alya, Chaton!”

“Ladybug, hey,” Alya replied. Chat just looked at her for a moment, his cheeks slowly growing pink.

“Nino’s out the front struggling with some equipment?” Marinette raised an eyebrow and Alya swore.

“Ah crap I totally forgot. Can you guys save this spot? I’ll be right back,” Alya said quickly before disappearing.

“This is a lot more than I thought it would be,” Marinette murmured as she studied the space. A large lighting rig was above the floor and she could faintly hear music playing from speakers. She turned her attention to her partner who was looking away from her, eyes focused on the floor.

“Chat?”

“Ladybug, I’m sorry if I hurt you, I didn’t… I mean, I know we have chemistry and I do really like you but last night, I mean, that video-” Marinette nearly burst into giggles.

“Minou, it’s okay,” she explained. “You don’t need to explain it to me. I’m glad you had a good time… you did have a good time, didn’t you?” she asked, unable to stop her insecurity creeping in for a moment.

“O-of course I did. I mean, Marinette’s really great,” he stammered, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh good. That’s what matters,” she said, knowing her cheeks were heating up a little.

“I swear, Alya needs to go through this stuff, half of it is practically obsolete now,” Nino huffed as he dropped two bags at their feet.

Marinette gave him a sympathetic smile before looking back at Chat.

“Um, I should go put my dress up somewhere,” she nodded but he stopped her.

“I, er, wouldn’t, if I were you. Try and keep it in your sights if you can.”

“What? Why?”

“I just… wouldn’t put it past Volpina to try something.”

“Well where’s your outfit?” she asked, trying to keep the pout from her tone.

“Right here,” he turned and revealed it was hung over his bag, his bomber jacket from the night before had been covering most of it.

“So, what do we do? Just keep it on us until we get changed? We have to leave our stuff at some point.”

“I know, that’s what Alya and I were discussing. If we get changed and leave our clothes but nothing else in the rooms, Volpina won’t be able to mess with our stuff for fear of messing up someone else’s,” he explained as Alya made her way in carrying a tripod.

“Okay kiddos, turn your phones off and put them in the bag, wallets too,” she added, gesturing to a pocket in one of the camera bags that Nino had lugged in.

“A-are you sure?” Marinette hesitated.

“What’s the matter Ladybug?”

“I just… my wallet has my ID in there…” she knew it sounded helpless, even as she said the words. “How about I put my stuff in my socks or something and bring that out?”

“Uh, sure, I guess that could work. Chat, you okay with that?” Alya asked, looking at the other dancer.

Marinette could feel Chat’s eyes on her, and she saw Nino was probably thinking the same thing she was. Why was she being so awkward about this when she planned to reveal herself anyway? She couldn’t help it.

“That’s fine with me. Sounds safer too,” Chat nodded, resting his hand on her shoulder. “It’s good thing I brought a second pair of socks, isn’t it, m’lady,” he grinned at her.

Marinette shot him a grateful smile.

“I guess we should go get changed then,” she said, hoping to sound all business. With a nod and a brief goodbye to Alya and Nino, Marinette and Chat Noir made their way through the crowds, hoping to find two rooms beside each other.

“I think this is as good as it’s going to get,” Chat sighed a moment later as they saw two rooms side by side one with a male dancer and the other with a female dancer, judging by the matching flares of colour in their outfits, they were also a team.

“Excuse me,” Marinette asked the dancers as they both began to leave. “Can my partner as I share the rooms with you?”

“Oh wow, you’re Ladybug, right?” the girl asked, a bright smile on her face. “And you must be Chat Noir! Carlisle, these are the two! The masked dancers from the University!”

“Hello,” the boy nodded, seemingly uncomfortable with the whole situation. “You can share with me, it’s fine. Just… please don’t touch my stuff,” he added and Chat nodded.

“Oh yeah, you’re totally welcome to share! Can’t wait to see you two out there!” she added before waving, her dress sparkling as she headed off, the boy, Carlisle, in tow.

“Well, at least they don’t hate us,” Chat shrugged before giving her his familiar grin. She gave a small laugh in return before stepping into the room and locking the door behind her.

~~~~~

Adrien fixed the collar on his white shirt before pulling on his cropped coat and slinging his bowtie around his neck. The whole ensemble was rather comfortable and he couldn’t help but feel pride for Marinette who had once again created quality clothes. He changed his shoes and put his belongings into a clean sock before unlocked the door and stepping out.

Ladybug stood before him, a small smile on her face as she took him in. He was sure his eyes nearly popped out of his head. She wore a simple tea length black dress with a wraparound skirt and red ribbon at her waist. The sweetheart neckline was emphasized with a simple red necklace and on her wrists were two red ribbon cuffs that were attached to two draped pieces of tulle that met at her back.

She looked… gorgeous. Any doubts of his feelings for her were gone in that instant as his heart kicked up.

“You look… wow. It’s so simple, but it’s very… wow,” he said again. Her cheeks flushed dark but she just shot him a smile.

“You clean up good too. Did you want some help with that?” She gestured to his tie, but before he could protest she was tying it, asking if he had his bell pin to put on it. With a nod he stepped back into his change room, picking up their number and his ears and bell, deciding to leave the tail as a hazard.

“Shall, er, shall we go meet Alya,” he stammered as she pinned the bell to his bowtie.

“Sure,” Ladybug replied, giving an awkward little cough after she pulled away from him.

He could feel eyes on them as they made their way out. The word had spread, it seemed, that Ladybug and Chat Noir had arrived. He said as much when they reached Alya and Nino.

“Yeah, word spread around the time Volpina showed up too,” Alya added with a frown. Ladybug looked around nervously and Adrien shot a glance too, but neither of them saw anyone. Alya gestured to the bag at her feet and both dancers put their socks with their belongings in, hands brushing for a moment as they pulled away.

Adrien felt his heart threaten to race faster but he mentally shook himself. Now was not the time to lose himself in Ladybug. There were much more pressing concerns, like the large amount of people and cameras that had begun to shuffle in and take seats.

No-one had sat at any of the judge’s tables yet, and Adrien could only assume it was to avoid them making snap judgements of the competitors.

“I, er, might go get some water,” Ladybug said after a moment, gesturing to the little kiosk that had been opened in the far-left corner.

“I’ll come with you,” Adrien nodded, leaving Alya and Nino fiddling with whatever equipment Alya had brought.

He and Ladybug walked rather slowly, not wanting to draw attention to themselves, letting people pass in front of them to find the seats with the best view.

“Why hello you two.”

The dancers turned to see their instructor flanked by a large man and a short woman. Adrien blinked in surprise. What were the Dupain-Chengs doing here?

“Ma…dame Cheng, Monsieur Dupain, what are you doing here?” Ladybug stammered, eyes wide. She was more shocked than he was.

“Well, Marinette talked about this quite a lot and we knew she couldn’t be here so we thought we’d come in her place,” Marinette’s mother smiled.

“We’re here to cheer you on!” Tom Dupain grinned, a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“And of course, I’m here to support you as well. As long as you remember everything we discussed yesterday, you will do great,” Madame Bustier smiled.

Adrien swallowed hard as he was sure he didn’t remember anything from their last lesson.

“W-well, thank you. We really appreciate you all coming out,” Ladybug said carefully, her cheeks pink.

“You two look just gorgeous. Marinette did such a wonderful job on your costumes,” Madame Cheng smiled warmly.

“Oh, could we get a photo?” Tom asked and Sabine elbowed him in the stomach. “For Marinette, of course.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes but nodded and Adrien stepped aside with her, putting his arm awkwardly around her. As they smiled for the photo, Adrien wondered if this was how posing for a school dance photo felt.  The flash went off and both dancers blinked away the brightness.

“Wonderful, don’t you both look so lovely,” Tom smiled warmly at them and Adrien felt a smile tug up on his face.

“I’m sure Marinette will be happy to see this,” Sabine continued and Adrien felt his cheeks flare. What would Marinette think? Especially after last night.

He mentally shook himself; he couldn’t think like that right now. They had a competition to partake in.

“Well, we won’t keep you any longer,” Madame Bustier said with a nod.

“A-Alya and Nino are just over there, if you wish to say hello,” Ladybug pointed in the direction they had come from and the adults nodded before wishing them luck for the final time.

Adrien was swept up in a hug from Sabine and Ladybug was nearly smothered by Tom before the parents swapped, Tom instead opting for a firm handshake with Chat Noir who nodded in appreciation before the adults disappeared.

Adrien looked at Ladybug, she seemed dazed, like she couldn’t believe that had just happened before she shook her head a little.

“Water,” she muttered.

“Right.”

The two dancers turned and continued in relative silence. What should he say to her, Adrien wondered as the time between words got progressively longer. His heart was beginning to pound loudly in his ears; was Ladybug feeling as awkward as he was right now?

“Chat?” she called and Adrien stopped walking, turning to see she had stopped a little way back in line.

“S-sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck but she just gave him a kind smile.

“It is pretty stressful, now that we’re here, I mean,” she nodded.

“R-right.”

“Chat?”

“Yes, m’lady?”

“You know I’m not upset about last night, right?” she asked and he stared at her for a moment. Her cheeks went pink as she seemed to rethink what she had said. “I mean, I just… as long as you had fun with Marinette last night, that’s all that matters.”

Of course, he mentally shook himself. She had no way of knowing what had happened beyond that video. She didn’t know that he had kissed Mari, or that they had slept in the same bed.

“R-right. I just wouldn’t want you to think that I was playing around with either of you,” he stammered nervously as they moved forward in line.

“As long as you’re happy, Chat,” she said softly, gently putting a hand on his cheek. He met her eyes and saw only sincerity in response. She really meant it.

They were called forward and Ladybug asked for two waters, the cashier jerking their thumb in the direction of a jug and plastic cups. Whilst she thanked them, they seemed less than thrilled at having their line interrupted.

“Everyone’s so tense,” she observed. “I never would have thought.”

“I wonder if this is more than usual,” Adrien wondered aloud as they both filled a cup each. “I mean, the Ladyblog got a lot of traffic this week. I wonder how many more people are here because of the Volpina situation?”

“That’s true,” Ladybug nodded. They both watched as crowds of people filed in to the rapidly filling auditorium. At the door they had originally entered from, the other dancers had begun huddling, also watching as the seats filled.

“Perhaps we should go join them,” he suggested as they finished their drinks. Ladybug nodded before throwing her cup into the trash and making her way back, Adrien trailing behind.

“Oh, do you have our number?” she asked.

“Oh,” he pulled the number he had stuffed into his pocket. It was slightly crumpled but he managed to smooth the worst of it out, before Ladybug pinned it to the back of his jacket. “I hope it stays,” he mumbled and she nodded.

They reached the groups of dancers, relieved to see just typical dancers lining up. A few wore masks and smiled with a nod of solidarity as they passed.

“Guess we’ve got some fans,” Ladybug shot him a small smile and he couldn’t help but smile back. It was kind of flattering, he thought, to have fans for what he did not how he looked or who his father was.

He was, essentially, another nameless dancer here. He was really no different to the others, he thought before freezing in the corridor; yes, he really was no different from the dancers, except the girl down the hall with a sparkling orange dress and mask who seemed to have a target on his partner’s back.