#last ones probably the most obscure one in this lineup

[tiniesttinsel]

Here we go again folks, not quite as many this time-

Some more game-inspired inkies after that first bunch of drawings I made

[weaversweek]

18 "What's up?" - 4 Non Blondes

writer Linda Perry

"Linda's one of life's drivers; a strong, confident person, she opens her mouth and her gut. Linda won't take no for an answer. She stirs up feelings in a person - a rare gift."

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

The lineup is Linda Perry (singer, the one with goggles) with Roger Rocha (guitar, token bloke), Christa Hillhouse (bass, sometimes wore a cap to hide braids), Dawn Richardson (drummer, long dark hair). Formed in 1989, the group broke through to the mainstream in 1993.

Christa Hillhouse chased down Linda Perry, who was doing acoustic covers in San Francisco bars. It quickly emerged that Linda Perry would be the group's driving force, writing songs including "Spaceman" and "What's up?", and the rest of the album. By the time of their commercial breakthrough, Linda had stopped doing acid: falling off a third-floor balcony gave her enough of a scare.

Speaking to Vox magazine, Hillhouse dismissed claims that the group was manufactured.

"Given the choice I'd rather play a crowded club where you can touch the audience and the energy blows the roof off, than an arena. Of course we'd rather headline. We don't limit ourselves to that 'What's Up' style either. Dawn and me, we get to wank a little on stage. Show off a bit. Now we also know the difference between a club and an arena but we won't set off fireworks just because we're playing with Aerosmith."

"What's up?" was about Linda's then-girlfriend Laura MacAllister, and "the frustrations of being a woman and not feeling like you're being heard or appreciated." It is a simple song, unpretentious, straight to the heart. It comes from the era of grunge, and there's some grunge-lite part of the group's aesthetic, but it isn't grunge. It's not a trendy song, it doesn't try to be fashionable. Nor does it tie itself to a time; if someone had said "What's up?" was a cover of an obscure Joni Mitchell track from 1973, we would not have been a surprise.

Some see that as a problem: lots of music journalists like to concentrate on the zeitgeist, the ups and downs of fashion; last year's heroes are this year's villains and next year's nostalgia. 4 Non Blondes appealed to a diverse crowd: kids who thought Linda Perry looked cool, college students who wanted to be in (or with, or as good as) the band, older listeners who found Morgan Lawley's video sparked some nostalgia.

Over the years, "What's up?" has gathered a reputation as one of the worst records ever, some sort of crime against music. This reputation is wholly undeserved. Dean Ween is typical of the haters, and let's pick apart his problems:

This is the most obnoxious fucking hollering I've ever heard in my life. I could envision the horrible, horrible female that was singing it [..] Then I saw the video for it, and the people that I imagined would be so loathsome as to make such a piece of shit of a song looked identical to what I imagined them to be in my mind.

In one paragraph, Dean Ween reveals that he cannot appreciate a great alto belt when he hears it. Dean Ween reveals himself to be judgemental, misogynist, and doesn't even bother to disguise his homophobia. He perpetuates the myth that the male gaze is the only judgement that matters, completely forgetting that 4 Non Blondes a) make their music and make it bloody well, and b) were 25% bloke.

Strikes me that Dean Ween's criticism, and that of so many people who echo his points, is rooted in a deep-seated hatred of the human spirit. Indeed, I haven't found any critique that doesn't stem from "critic doesn't like it" or "critic is homophobic and/or sexist (probably and)".

Fie on them. "What's up?" is an honest song, written from experience. Perhaps critics like Dean Ween have never been ignored; maybe they should. Perhaps critics like Dean Ween have never hung out with lesbians; maybe they should. Perhaps critics like Dean Ween have never made music as good; maybe they should try.

Linda's vocal control is superb: she knows when to be quiet, when to shout out, and excellent production means she always sounds great. (Shame that shitty radio stations over-compress the vocal, but that is because shitty radio stations gotta shit.)

"What's up?" did become an albatross around Linda Perry's neck. Interscope Records wanted another similar hit, Linda knew it was lightning in a bottle; first she split the group, then made the solo confessional album In Flight, full of odes to drug use and queer love. This century, she's become a top-drawer songwriter, writing "Get the party started", "Beautiful", "What you waiting for", and discovering the army singer James Blount. Ah well, nobody's perfect.

[blizzardsuplex]

CW: mention of substance abuse, discussion of death

My fiction brain isn't doing so hot right now, so I wrote a casual (and untitled) essay instead about jazz, poetry, and professional wrestling (LOL). Thank you @mobiblackout for the conversation this afternoon that inspired me to try and write this down in the first place. <3

When it comes to jazz, I'm mainly a clarinet enjoyer (Buddy DeFranco my beloved). Today, though—totally on a whim—I put on some Bill Evans.

In truth, I don't know much about the guy, save for three things: the first is that he's an incredibly influential jazz pianist. The second is that, for most of his life, he abused heroin. The third…

If you look on his Wikipedia page, there's a section in the biography labeled “After LaFaro’s death”. The very sparse first paragraph reads:

Scott LaFaro being the bassist (double bass, not bass guitar) of the original lineup of the Bill Evans Trio, alongside Evans and the drummer Paul Motian. Going to his Wikipedia page, you get (besides a note that his brief career and life still left him one of the most important jazz bassists ever) a little more about his death and its aftermath:

That second to the last sentence in particular intrigued me—not the least because it had no citation. That, plus the fact it didn't seem that many people visited his page often, meant it was fertile ground for someone to freely make stuff up. I mean, doesn't it sound like the kind of reaction to a death a novel or a biopic would have? Too poignant a tribute, too picturesque a portrait of grief, to be real: an artist willingly (“obsessively”, even) reliving a memory over and over.

Fortunately for my curiosity, and unfortunately for my world-weary mid 20s skepticism, the third to the last line had a source. Not just any random source, either, but an article published in The New Yorker about “jazz's perfect afternoon”: June 25, 1961, when the Bill Evans Trio played (and were recorded live at) the Village Vanguard club, ten days before Scott LaFaro’s fatal car accident. It looked like an interesting article, so I searched up “bill evans I loves you porgy” on YouTube, ended up finding the very version recorded over 60 years ago, and got to reading.

Ah, I thought after seeing that last paragraph, while an audience of probably mostly dead people applauded three definitely dead men. So it wasn't made up. In fact, Wikipedia did what it did almost as well as outright lying on more obscure pages: kind of understating what actually happened.

I replayed the video—it’s a great track—and began to think. ~~~

There's that line from WandaVision that made people go insane, right? “What is grief but love enduring”? A memorable quote, for sure, if (apparently) a contentious one; my older sister told me that no less than Richard Silkin weighed in on X-open parenthesis-formerly-Twitter-close parenthesis.

Being the fencesitter I am, I'm unsure what judgment to pass. On one hand, I'm usually a little wary of any blanket statements regarding experiences as diverse and personal as love or grief. On the other, the sheer number of people it resonated with is no joke; I'm not here to condemn what consoles in hard times.

And, if I had a third hand and a belly in any color but yellow, maybe I'd say grief is (for some) just the first step. Okay, so it's a feeling you're, well, feeling. Does it truly endure if it stays inside you, a mortal being, bottled up? Is it truly love if it isn't expressed—in a smile, in a word, in something you create—to a recipient beyond yourself?

~~~

I'm that person who, when discovering something new that interests me, wants to tell others and ask their thoughts about it immediately. With the internet (and making online friends who are either night owls or in closer timezones), that can be done more easily than ever—which is why I ended up outright changing the entire topic of conversation with a “lucky” friend from pro wrestling to jazz (with permission!)

Rumi/Shams coded, they told me; what, I thought, like the poet? I'd heard of him, of course, read a few translated verses here and there and liked them well enough, but I knew little about the context of his work, even less about his actual life.

My mind was nonetheless still firmly in knowledge sponge mode, and so I asked my friend to explain. Helpfully, they sent me the pertinent sections of both Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī and Shams-i Tabrīzī’s Wikipedia pages:

I could see why these two had been brought to my friend's mind after I'd told them about Evans and LaFaro: another relationship that inspired great creativity; another abrupt, devastating disappearance; another piece of art in memoriam. While Bill Evans almost always played I Loves You Porgy with no accompaniment from the accident onwards, however, a call with no response, Rumi added to the world where there once was nothing:

A moment of happiness, you and I sitting on the verandah, apparently two, but one in soul, you and I. We feel the flowing water of life here, you and I, with the garden's beauty and the birds singing. The stars will be watching us, and we will show them what it is to be a thin crescent moon. You and I unselfed, will be together, indifferent to idle speculation, you and I. The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar as we laugh together, you and I. In one form upon this earth, and in another form in a timeless sweet land.

I am a sculptor, a molder of form. In every moment I shape an idol. But then, in front of you, I melt them down I can rouse a hundred forms and fill them with spirit, but when I look into your face, I want to throw them in the fire. My souls spills into yours and is blended. Because my soul has absorbed your fragrance, I cherish it. Every drop of blood I spill informs the earth, I merge with my Beloved when I participate in love. In this house of mud and water, my heart has fallen to ruins. Enter this house, my Love, or let me leave.

When poetry hits, it really hits; knowing a little more context than I did now, I got actual goosebumps. And, after the initial emotional reaction, with the Bill Evans Trio still playing in the background, I got to thinking again.

This reminds me of a third thing, I told my friend.

~~~ To express your love is all well and good—let the people you care about know you care about them. But what if whatever, or whoever, you're expressing that love to is a hundred percent gone?

I don't necessarily mean death, but I don't mean people in the process of phasing out of your life, either. The slow decline hurts like a bitch, too, but that's not what I want to talk about here. I'm talking a sudden, violent vacating of a space in your life, once-reserved and, from this point until your last breath, never occupied in quite the same way again. In other words: an unexpected and permanent absence.

And when faced with that absence, in that tear in your world, what do you do? Ignore it? Paper over it? Neither will give you the response desired, or indeed a response. Try and fill that hole in exactly, like there was never a hole at all? As Fiona Apple sang, “nobody can replace anybody else”—and no thing can, either.

But, if that's the case, where does the love go?

~~~

Do you know who Plum Mariko is? I asked my friend.

Nope.

A joshi wrestler active in the 90s. Inventor of the stretch plum submission (used now by one Eddie Kingston). She died in the ring from a back bump.

Damn… they replied.

The fatal move was a Liger bomb given by Mayumi Ozaki. She'd done it a million times, and Plum knew how to take it, but this was the final straw after a bunch of wear and tear. 

They held a memorial show, I continued. The main event was Cuty Suzuki and Dynamite Kansai (two big names) versus Ozaki and…Plum Mariko. She, or rather her picture, gets an entrance, her parents are at ringside with another photo, all that.

Then the match begins. It is in essence, of course, a handicap match: Ozaki getting beat up for minutes in front of a mostly-quiet crowd, building up heat that never resolves for a partner who can't tag in. After Ozaki gets pinned and the roster gets in for the ten bell salute, everyone's stone-faced or crying. And for years, at least (I don't know if they still run it now) Ozaki’s promotion did a Plum Mariko-branded memorial show.

I don't know what to say, my friend told me after a few moments. If something similar happens right now…the other person would be crushed for life.

Yeah, I said. In my browser, the audience of the Village Vanguard clap one final time. I pray it never does. ~~~ Questions, questions—and no answers. No universal ones, anyway. As much as I'd love to say Art is love, or grief, or any other emotion immortalized, I don't think I can with a straight face. Sometimes people just want to make things. Sometimes things that are made, regardless of depth of emotion or intent, are forgotten. And is professional wrestling even art?—

So, instead of either deflecting with more questions or being brave enough to give a straight answer, here is an observation:

These are three stories about three different people from three different fields, cultures, and time periods, but they're still connected, both by great loss and getting something like closure from creative expression. Whether memorial shows, or leaving space for a killer baseline, or breaking out into spontaneous verse and song; Art may not have all the answers, but it can help. 

…or maybe it's not about what is expressed, specifically. Maybe it's simply the fact that the act of creating something is what was shared between them. Individual pieces or even whole bodies of work may fade into obscurity—but as long as jazz, or poetry, or professional wrestling, or your field, exists as a whole? So can the love you both channeled and you can still channel into it, even if the only person to recognize it is you. 

It's in Bill Evans saying fondly, five years after LaFaro’s death, that he played like “everything was bubbling over”. It's in Mayumi Ozaki, after the match, looking at Plum's ring gear and saying “if I see her costume, not before long I feel that I have to keep on persevering”. And it's in what Rumi said upon going back to Damascus and not finding Shams there:

Why should I seek? I am the same as He. His essence speaks through me. I have been looking for myself!

[rivetgoth]

3, 5, and 14

Thank you!!!

3. Name five artists you wish more people knew about

Ohhh man there's a lot but the first ones that come to mind are

Severed Heads (super classic experimental industrial act formed in the late 70s, really really unique sound that people sometimes call "industrial elevator music," really uncanny and creepy with bizarre themes and just a big emphasis on computerization and surrealism -- they are one of the most evocative bands for me in the world and I wish they got as much attention as the big name industrial acts)

Indradevi (super small dark electronic Cambodian folk pop fusion band with a lot of drum and bass influence, one of the most unique bands I've heard and just so fun and high energy and magical and an AMAZING live show)

Patriarchy (recent gothy electronic band that have been called "snuff pop" for their crazy ass lyrics and visuals, one of the sexiest bands I've ever seen just fucking oozing with sex appeal, lots of kink and eroticism and sensuality with a really fun sound)

Street Sects (I CANNOT BELIEVE these guys don't get more attention, their music is fucking amazing, super unique blend of hardcore and industrial/electronic with some crazy ass vocals from a super talented theatrical frontman, amazing live show and just so fun and creative)

DIN (I have been vibing super hard with this project recently, really really interesting recent electronic music that kinda evokes scattered dreamlike 80s shopping mall Possibly in Michigan surrealism at its best, they only have one EP and one LP out and it's all exclusively on Bandcamp with very little promotion so I get the obscurity but they are very good I have been suuuper vibing with them recently)

5. Name some bands you wish you had seen before they broke up.

Ahhaha the curse of liking lots of old bands lol. I guess this is kinda cheating/not quite the exact answer but probably my biggest "if I could go back in time" answer would be seeing the Ogre/cEvin/Dwayne lineup for Skinny Puppy, that would be the fucking dream. That, or late 80s-era Ministry, when Chris Connelly and Paul Barker and Bill Rieflin and everyone were still active in the band (or alive, in Bill's case, RIP). There's a lot of older industrial and goth bands I'd have loved to have seen that I most definitely will never be able to, especially due to a decent amount of the members having passed. Just being able to stand there and witness the early formation of these genres would have been so cool...

Ohhh, and I'm not sure if they're "officially" broken up or just sorta MIA, but I would fucking kill to see CAROLINER live! AHH.

14. What was the last playlist you made about or for?

NGL I actually don't make playlists allllll too often, I've never been good at making lists of music, I feel like it breaks my brain to try to remember everything and I just get overwhelmed, but my most recent playlist I've been working on (that I'm pretty proud of so far) has been my, er... well... you can listen to it and take a guess about the theme :)

[Music Asks]

[rainbowsky]

Hay! I have a question:

Is DDU still broadcasting? The last I knew was that Yibo, and maybe other hosts, were likely to leave the show.

Do you know anything else about it?

Thank you in advance!

I had a whole post about this written up a while back but I doubt I'll share it. Maybe if they make an announcement or something. It's just a sad story that I think would be better off sliding into obscurity.

Yes, DDU is still airing, and they're still working with the young brothers, trying to pick a new host. Although I don't know what's going to happen with that.

There have been rumors for many months that DD and DLS would both be leaving DDU sometime in mid-september or mid-October. Neither of them have been on the show since mid-Oct.

For those who were unaware, there were some serious sexual assault allegations against Qian Feng from a woman in the same industry, and quite a scandal broke out about him right around the same time the Kris Wu and other celebrity scandals were breaking. It was very upsetting, and cast a pall on the entire show and hosting brothers relationship.

He left the show in August, issuing a statement claiming that he was leaving to "sort out his personal issues". Hunan TV, however, issued a statement of their own saying that he was fired because his behavior violated their policies.

DD and DLS stopped appearing on the show in mid-October. At around that time, the producer of DDU said in an interview that they are going to be revamping DDU and Happy Camp, which included changing the hosting lineup. She said Han ge would be remaining, but she didn't say anything about the other hosts. Many people interpreted that as a polite way of saying that DD and DLS were going to be cut.

There has been no announcement from DD or from Hunan, so it's not known for sure what's going on, but it's not hard to figure out that they're going to need to do some major reviewing and revising in order to mitigate some of the negativity that has come out of the scandal (and which could continue to harm their image as the case makes its way through any legal/justice processes).

A lot of this probably has nothing to do with the scandal. With all of the new government directives coming out regarding how the entertainment industry is handled, there was likely always going to be a shakeup of some kind.

As for how this affects DD, I personally think there is a lot of good that can come out of this for him. It would free up his schedule to do other projects. It would make it easier for him to make personal plans such as travel (schedule permitting) and hopefully spend time with loved ones. It would mean not having to fly all over the place every week. Not having a predictable schedule every week would make it harder for fans and stalkers to track his movements.

Of course there's a sad side to it as well. If he doesn't return, we won't get to see him in a semi-candid variety show every week. We won't have the knowledge that he has a 'home base' to return to every week, no matter what's happening in his life (I remember how glad we all were after his accident last year, when he had a DDU taping shortly after - knowing he would be with his DDU brothers).

Change is hard sometimes, but it's not always a bad thing. Even negative change opens up new possibilities and new opportunities. Given DD's personality, we can be sure he'll make the most out of whatever happens and give us something even better than before.

[troius]

The early installment weirdness begins.

The first splash page for Bleach has Ichigo and Rukia, in all of their angular early-Kubo glory, in front of a lineup of supporting characters that’s not all that dissimilar from the (amazing) first anime opening.

But Kubo couldn’t read ahead in his own manga, and so while we get Chad, Keigo, Mizuiro, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Uryu, we also get these three mystery characters who are mostly obscured. One of them is probably Michiru, the spiky black hair behind Ichigo suggests Kaien Shiba, and the last...looks like nobody I can think of in Bleach. Maybe Kubo dropped her because she looked to much like Orihime.

Most entertainingly however, we have v1 Shinji Hirako, a good 182 chapters and six real-world years before he would show up in the story. As one of Ichigo’s classmates.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #75: Jack the Ripper

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the cutest lil baby to ever disembowel, Jack the Ripper! Watch your ankles as you go below the cut for a build breakdown, or check out her character sheet here!

Race and Background

Jack’s a Human, kinda, but bringing a child character with as few clothes as Jack to a D&D session triggers the fight or flight response in a lot of people, so we’ll play it safe and call her a Halfling instead. We’re specifically making her a Lightfoot Halfling for the extra Sneakiness, giving her +2 Dexterity and +1 Charisma. You’re Lucky, letting you reroll natural 1s- Jack’s an anime character, she doesn’t mess things up. You’re Brave, giving you advantage against being frightened (you mostly do the frightening). Finally, you’re Nimble, letting you move through larger creatures’ spaces. Your movement speed is only 25′, but we can fix that later.

Jack’s certainly a criminal, but she’s more of a lone wolf, so the background doesn’t really suit her. Also she may be one criminal, but she’s a lot of Urchins. This gives her proficiency with Sleight of Hand and Stealth, and she can move twice as quickly in cities-great for establishing an alibi.

Stats

Make sure your Dexterity is high, you need to be good at hiding and stabbing to be the most famous serial killer in the western world. Also to be famous, you need a personality-that’s Charisma. Your Constitution is next; if those scars are any indication, you can take a beating and keep moving. Your Wisdom isn’t bad, you’re pretty perceptive for a kid, Your Intelligence isn’t great, you never got to go to school. Finally, dump Strength. You’re a child/halfling, and you clearly haven’t been to the gym in a while. I don’t think you’re even old enough for a membership.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: This shouldn’t be a surprise for an assassin class. You’re proficient with Dexterity and Intelligence saves,  as well as four skills. You’re surprisingly Perceptive and Insightful, and of course you’re good at Acrobatics. Intimidation isn’t just about threatening people, it’s also about acting in ways that are disconcerting, and you’ve got that down pat.

You get a Sneak Attack, letting you deal more damage with finesse weapons if your target is distracted or can’t see you. You also learn Thieves’ Cant, to speak with other rogues all sneaky like. Finally, Expertise doubles your proficiency in two skills; double up on Stealth and Acrobatics to be even better at making getaways.

2. Sorcerer 1: We’re not going magic initiate with our rogue levels, so we’ll have to grab spells from somewhere else. Somewhere like here. First level sorcerers get Spells that use Charisma to cast. They also pick a sorcerous origin here, and no-one’s quite as good for sneaking around at night as a Shadow sorcerer. This gives you Eyes of the Dark, giving you 120′ of Darkvision now and the Darkness spell for free at your third sorcerer level. If you cast it using 2 sorcery points, you can see through it as well. You also have the Strength of the Grave; when you drop to 0 HP, you can make a Charisma Save to see if they actually hit another one of the kids in you instead, letting you go to 1 HP instead. This only works once per long rest, and not at all if it’s radiant damage or a critical hit.

For cantrips, Mending will help you patch up any cuts you didn’t mean to make, Message lets you chat with your mother without anyone eavesdropping, Minor Illusion will let you make a bit of fog even when you run out of spell slots, and Poison Spray is the closest we’re getting to true demonic fog this build. 

For spells, grab Fog Cloud for some cloud cover and Mage Armor for some not dying. The closest thing you wear to armor is a cloak, and that’s not going to help against an ax. Or the cold for that matter, those lostbelts are pretty chilly.

3. Rogue 2: Second level rogues are cunning enough to take Cunning Actions, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action. This frees up your normal action for more stabbing; convenient!

4. Rogue 3: At this level you pick your roguish archetype, and the Soulknife lets you do all sorts of cool things with magic knives. You get Psionic Dice that can be used to activate your Psionic Powers. You have twice your proficiency bonus in dice, and they start as d6s. They regenerate at the end of long rests, but you can also regain one die each short rest as a bonus action. You can use your dice to power your Psi-Bolstered Knack, adding a die to a failed skill/tool check that you’re already proficient in, using up the die if you succeed. You can also send out Psychic Whispers, telepathic communication to a number of creatures equal to your proficiency bonus. This lasts a number of hours equal to a roll on your psi die, and has a range of 1 mile. The first time’s free, but every time afterwards needs to spend a psi die. Finally, the real selling point for this class is its Psychic Blades. You can create psychic weapons with finesse and thrown properties when you’re going to attack, dealing psychic damage instead of piercing. The blade vanishes after use, and leaves no mark on targets. After attacking with your action, you can use your bonus action to make another attack with a weaker blade. You typically prefer to leave quite a few marks on your victims, but a flawless takedown has its uses too.

Your sneak attack grows to 2d6.

5. Rogue 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to gain Squat Nimbleness, adding 1 to your Dexterity and increasing your movement speed to the typical 30′. You also become proficient in Athletics, and have advantage against being grappled.

6. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues can make an Uncanny Dodge, halving a single attack’s damage against you as a reaction. Your psionic dice also grow to a d8, and your sneak attack deals 3d6 damage.

7. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers get a Font of Magic, a number of sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level that can currently be used to make new spell slots.

Speaking of, grab Disguise Self so people never see the real you when you’re stabbing them. We’ll get something more Jack flavored in a bit though.

8. Sorcerer 3: At this level you get two Metamagic options to customize your spells. Grab Subtle Spell to make casting a bit sneakier and Extended Spell to make your spells last longer and really get the most out of each slot. You get Darkness from Eyes of the Dark, and pick up Blur too to make yourself harder to hit and see. If a spell makes you so hard to see you can’t get smacked with a sword, it probably makes you hard to pick out of a lineup too.

9. Sorcerer 4: With this ASI, round up your Charisma for stronger spells and Constitution for a stronger you.

10. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get a third level spell, and Haste doubles your movement, adds 2 to your AC, and gives you an extra action each turn for up to a minute. You have to take a break afterwards, but odds are there won’t be much left after the sugar high wears off.

11. Rogue 6: Use this round of Expertise to hone your Acrobatics and Perception, so you can find new targets and hunt them down in cramped alleys.

12. Rogue 7: As a seventh level rogue, your sneak attack increases to 4d6, and you learn Evasion. When you have to make a dexterity save to avoid damage, you take half damage on a failure, and no damage on a success. You’re pretty good at avoiding damage, and pretty bad at having health in the first place.

13. Rogue 8: Use this ASI to become a a Skulker, letting you hide when lightly obscured, avoid giving away your position when you miss a ranged attack while hiding, and you don’t have disadvantage on perception checks made in dim light. Nobody plays darkvision right anyway, but deep in your heart you’ll know.

14. Rogue 9: Ninth level Soulknifes get another die on their sneak attack but also Soul Blades! This gives you two additional ways to use your Psionic Die. Homing Strikes, adds the die to a missed attack roll, spending the die on a hit. Psychic Teleportation lets you blink around a number of feet equal to ten times a psionic die roll as a bonus action, and also spending that die. Currently you can teleport up to 80′ thanks to your d8 psi dice.

15. Rogue 10: Use this ASI to maximize your Dexterity for the best stealth and best stabbing.

16. Rogue 11: Eleventh level rogues have Reliable Talent, meaning you always roll at least a 10 on checks you’re proficient in. You’re probably not going to be grappled any time soon. Or seen, for that matter. Also, your sneak attack does 6d6 damage now, congrats. Also also, your Psionic Die is now a d10 for more accurate strikes, cool teleporting tricks, larger audiences for your creepy mind speeches, and an even stronger way to cheese skill checks if Reliable Talent somehow wasn’t enough.

17. Rogue 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Charisma. You only have a couple spells, but some of them are illusions so they need to be strong.

18. Rogue 13: Thirteenth level Soulknifes get yet another sneak attack boost and a Psionic Veil. You can use an action to become invisible for up to 1 hour. This ends early if you will it or if you deal damage to force a saving throw. You can use this once per long rest, but you can also spend a psionic die to get another use. Honestly you’re pretty much invisible already with those stealth skills, but another layer of insurance wouldn’t hurt.

19. Rogue 14: At this level you get Blindsense, letting you see creatures you can’t see within 10′ of you. Fog and darkness are your gimmick, so now you can use those without making things harder for yourself.

20. Rogue 15: Your final level of rogue caps off with Slippery Mind, making you proficient in Wisdom Saves. Also, your Sneak Attack is as strong as it’s ever going to be at 8d6 damage.

Pros:

You’re very Sneaky, making it easy to get the drop on people. You’ve got a high skill check, a small body, silent spells,  and you can blink around the battlefield to avoid line of sight.

Even when you’re out in the open, you’re really hard to see. If it’s not fog, it’s Darkness, or Blur, or your Psionic Veil. Even if someone does see you, they won’t be seeing “you”.

All this leads up to your powerful Sneak Attack, and thanks to your psychic blades that’s all psychic damage too, which hard to resist.

Cons:

Splashing into sorcerer means you don’t have many spell slots or sorcery points, so you’ll want to make every spell count; a problem increased by the fact that your concentration isn’t that great.

A lot of your sneaking is accomplished through magic and illusion, so going up against someone with Truesight will be a headache. 

Blindsense and Slippery Mind are super useful abilities, but they don’t come in until the end of the game. Most campaigns don’t even reach this high. 

Next up: I hope you like bad girls, because this one’s so bad at being a girl he’s a guy.

[aion-rsa]

AGDQ 2021 VODs: The Best Speedruns You Have to See

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Despite not taking place in front of the live crowd that typically gives these speedrunning events their energy, AGDQ 2021 managed to raise $2,758,847 for the Prevent Cancer Foundation. It was yet another tremendous success for an event that is quickly becoming a must-watch showcase for a formerly niche section of gaming culture.

While we’re all waiting for better days when fans will be able to safely attend these events once more, it must be said that AGDQ 2021’s set-up did allow a greater variety of people to participate in the show remotely. As a result, this year’s event featured some of the absolute wildest runs you’ll ever see.

If you’re looking for the best of the best, though, then these are the AGDQ 2021 VODs that you need to watch.

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Super Mario 64 (Blindfolded Run)

We’ve seen Super Mario 64 runs at these events countless times, but runner Bubzia makes this community classic feel fresh by daring to try to beat the game blindfolded.

The concept is crazy, but the actual run manages to exceed even lofty expectations. Bubzia is moments away from death at nearly every turn, yet he still attempts insane skips and jumps even when he only has one life remaining. It’s the kind of run that anyone can appreciate regardless of their level of interest in this scene.

Super Orb Bros.

Essentially a hacked version of Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Orb Bros. is a nightmarish collection of custom made levels designed to challenge (and punish) the best players in the world.

That makes it even more impressive that runner Mitchflowerpower is able to beat the game nearly 20 minutes under the estimated time and set a new world record in the process. World record runs are rare enough at these events, but you almost never see a runner destroy a record quite like this.

Beat Saber

This is a bit of a longer run (and watching someone play a VR game can be challenging), but the technical skill on display is undeniably impressive.

Much like Dance Dance Revolution, watching someone play Beat Saber forces you to appreciate both their reflexes and ability to withstand this kind of demanding high-level gameplay for such a long time. It’s the kind of run that makes you realize the extent of the time, effort, and raw skill that goes into these showcases.

Donkey Kong Country

It’s not a Games Done Quick event without a good speedrunning race, and one of AGDQ 2021’s best showcases had to be this incredible Donkey Kong Country race between Eazinn and DadLovesBeer.

Donkey Kong Country‘s surprising difficulty level always makes it a fun run, but what really sets this one apart is the fact that the two runners stay neck and neck nearly the entire time. This is about as good as this style of speedrunning gets.

Silent Hill 3

Some runs impress with records and gimmicks while others manage to simply be fun to watch or allow you to view a beloved game in a new way.

This Silent Hill 3 run is certainly an example of the latter attributes. A combination of excellent commentary, expert technique, and the quality of the game itself makes this run an easy watch for those who want to see a somewhat unusual speedrunning selection be destroyed by a truly talented player.

Diablo 3

It’s difficult to appreciate how cleanly Diablo 3 fits into the “easy to learn, tough to master” category until you see someone play the game at the highest level.

That’s definitely what you get from this run. It sees three top-tier players destroy the game so thoroughly that they even manage to beat the four-player world record time. Even better, they beat the record largely through raw skill and teamwork rather than a series of exploits and glitches.

Sonic Mania

Good commentary is an underrated element of a speedrun. The right host has the ability to both explain the process and elevate its entertainment value through the sheer force of their personality.

There are few better examples of the virtue of good commentary than this Sonic Mania run from Argick. Even more impressive than his ability to blaze through Sonic Mania at lightning speed is his ability to offer both color and technical commentary faster than Sonic can run. His announcing will leave you convinced that Sonic Mania runs would make for an entertaining addition to the Olympics or ESPN’s lineup.

Hades

Yes, Hades is best experienced at a pace that allows you to easily appreciate its subtle storytelling and worldbuilding, but there’s something to be said for watching someone who has mastered the game’s lightning-fast combat.

While runner Vorime’s luck during this run is borderline absurd, that good fortune does little to diminish their reflexes as well as their mastery of the game’s skills, weapons, and techniques. This is the kind of run that makes you come to terms with how much more you have to learn about Hades even if you think you’ve mastered it.

Celeste (Dance Pad Run)

Much like Hades, Celeste‘s undeniable style and surprising storytelling often lure people into a false sense of security designed to hide the title’s shocking difficulty. Celeste‘s toughest levels are designed to challenge even the most skilled platformer players.

So how does runner Peekingboo manage to beat those levels using nothing more than a DDR dance pad? To be honest, I’ve watched this run a few times now, and I still can’t quite comprehend what I’m seeing. Watch it for yourself to see if you can make sense of this level of skill and practice.

F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R. is an all-time great horror game, but its largely linear nature would probably lead you to believe that the title wouldn’t be the subject of a particularly compelling speedrun. That is until you watch Maxylobes play this game in a manner most easily described as “unintended.”

While it’s not the “glitchiest” speed run you’ll ever see, this run does feature that perfect combination of mechanical mastery and creative exploitations. The result is a run that captures the essence of the entire speedrun scene.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions

The award for the most surprising run of AGDQ 2021 has to go to runner Jaxler and the Nintendo DS version of Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions.

As it turns out, the DS version of Shattered Dimensions features intense movement and combat mechanics that allow highly-skilled players to zip around its 2D maps at shocking speeds. The brilliance of those mechanics makes Jaxler’s lightning reflexes and nearly flawless technique easy to appreciate even if you’ve never played the game.

Left 4 Dead 2

Playing Left 4 Dead 2 by yourself kind of sucks. Not only do you miss out on the social experience that literally gives the game its name, but the title’s outdated A.I. typically leaves you struggling to overcome already overwhelming odds.

Those odds prove to be no problem for runner Waifuruns who manages to survive campaign scenarios that you’d think would be impossible for a solo player. He even tops the whole thing off with an equally impressive Last Stand run that comes down to the wire.

Pokemon Blue

There’s something beautiful about a glitched speedrun. It’s one thing to master the mechanics of a game, but it’s quite another to essentially destroy a game and rebuild it so that it adheres to your will.

That’s about what happens in Eddaket’s Pokemon Blue run. A series of RNG exploits and glitches allow the runner to seemingly breeze through the classic Nintendo game, but by his own admission, this kind of run requires you to master so many complex manipulation mechanics that it’s hard to argue against the idea this is the more difficult way to play the game.

Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon

The Zelda games made for the Phillips CD-i are infamously bad, but have you ever watched someone actually play one of them from start to finish?

If not, then Grumpmeister’s Wand of Gamelon run is the best (or at least quickest) way to experience one of them for yourself. It turns out that this game is absolutely as bad as you’re imagining, but the title’s broken mechanics and unwieldy controls actually make this one of the more oddly impressive runs of the entire event.

Mr. Bones

The “secret” about the Games Done Quick events is that some of the best runs happen in the small hours of the morning during the “Awful Block.” There’s something satisfying about watching players who have devoted arguably too much time to truly terrible games showcase them on a grand stage.

The nearly undisputed highlight of this year’s Awful Block was a truly obscure Sega Saturn game called Mr. Bones. The title’s bizarre gameplay is compelling enough, but it’s when you discover that Mr. Bones is packed with elaborate music sequences that you realize this may be one of gaming’s few “so bad, it’s good” entries.

The post AGDQ 2021 VODs: The Best Speedruns You Have to See appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[newageblogging]

What Is The Best Tax Preparation Software For 2021

2020 was a year we are all happy to see in the rearview mirror. The global CoVID-19 epidemic shut down businesses last March and laid off millions of people. The economic impact on taxpayers was so significant that the IRS extended the 2019 filing deadline to July 15, 2020.

Matters are no less serious this year, but you will need to file your 2020 tax return (which you are filing in 2021)) usually by the April 15 deadline, with e-filing opening on February 12, If you want to wait as long as you can to submit your tax return, check out our tax tips for last-minute e-filers. But now tax filing services are open for business.

So you can get started and let's talk about "What Is The Best Tax Preparation Software"!

If you want to make your own Blog from scratch without any experience. You can follow our 12 easy steps guide to make your own blog and earn money online from it.

There Has Never Been A Better Time To E-file Your Taxes

Despite the many challenges this year, tax preparation services are in line with their reputation. In addition to many employees suddenly returning to work from home, these companies had to handle the growing business of taxpayers who were accustomed to moving to an office or retail location to complete their 1040s and file in person.

Some will file manually through a paper form they filled out themselves, but many people are turning to the online service to pay their taxes as reviewed here. If you've never tried an online DIY tax solution, for three reasons, this is a good year to start.

Previously, many changes to US tax laws did not make headlines because of the pressing headlines. Second, preparing and filing online can also get you a big refund, as these sites are trained to dig deeper into the deductions.

Finally, tax website developers continue to offer more ways to get in touch with tax professionals so they can help you complete and file your return. Or they can help you get the job done.

We have all learned how to do things differently in 2020. So, if you're still manually preparing your taxes, this would be a good year to move this operation online - especially if you had to turn to self-employment or job loss.

Working to deal with Tax Every website company has at least one version that allows you to complete and file a complex schedule. In fact, the 2020 edition supports all but the most obscure tax issues. So on your 1099s, you may face W-2s, your unemployment, your new work costs on virtually any tax situation you may face this year.

If you've been missing out on a web-based tax solution in the past, consider trying it again this year. Online personal tax preparation websites keep getting better

Significant Changes Have Been Made To The Tax Code

As we have said before, the change in the tax law has ended in a change this year. But you should know about them because they can affect you well. Tax website developers have incorporated all of these modifications into their online solutions.

For example, the amount of standard deductions for the 2020 tax year varies. They have, in fact, been slightly enhanced. If you are a married couple, the standard deduction is now 24,800. In addition, each spouse aged 65 or over receives a discount of 1,300.

If you are single, you can claim a standard deduction of 12,400. As a head of household, you get a deduction of ساتھ 18,650 with a reduction of یا 1,650 to those aged 65 and over.

The income tax line itself did not change in 2020, but inflation in the brackets is widespread.

Long-term capital gains remained the same in 2020, but their income thresholds increased. For example, you are now eligible for a 20% rate if you have earned more than 44 1,441,550 as a filer.

The income for the joint filing couple, the income limit is $ 496,600, and for household heads, 9 9,469,050. Most taxpayers will fall into the 0 or 15 range.

Some high-income taxpayers will face an additional 3.8% net investment income for short- and long-term benefits.

If you do not itemize Schedule A deductions, you can still deduct up to $ 300 in cash contributions from eligible organizations.

Some tax breaks were due to expire at the end of last year, including a reduction in mortgage insurance premiums (with some warnings) and energy-saving credits.

When we consider this to be true, it is quite certain that most Americans will be recipients of the second round of stimulus checks. But you still have to account for payments received earlier in 2020 under the Care Act. The developers of the tax website have created the required reporting.

You will be asked if you have received an Economic Impact Payment (EIP), which will be based on your 2018 or 2019 tax returns, and what the amount will be. If you received less than you qualified due to a change in your situation in 2020 (such as various filing status or increase or decrease in income), you will receive a recovery rebate credit on the tax return. If you get more, you are not expected to take revenge.

There are many other changes, including amendments to the rules for retirement plans. Personal tax preparation websites have incorporated these changes into the tax code into their online products. And to varying degrees, they also explain how you can expect to be affected.

Online Tax Filing Is Easier Than Ever

Considering the changes that have occurred, what will you get when you log in to the H&R Block, Tax Act, Turbo Tax, or any other website whose developer plans for several months at the end of January 2021? Making?

If you've used a personal tax preparation website or desktop software before and you return to the same product the same year, you won't see much difference.

Still, the site we've reviewed this year has improved, some more than others. But they are routine modifications. User interface adaptation and enhancement to help with changes in resources and prices and product lineup.

For the most part, this year's claimant crop looks and works the same as it did for the 2019 tax year. What's happening in the background is that your tax figures are being calculated and restructured to accommodate new rules and forms, although this is different. Today's leading tax site companies work hard in 2020 so that you don't have to in 2021.

How Online Tax Software Works

When you prepare income taxes using paper forms, you are far behind. You come to a line at 1040 that requires an auxiliary form or schedule, so you go there and complete it, and then move to 1040.

Sometimes you need to fill out a worksheet or pursue a document that you have received. Check the mail or your account twice because things don't look right. If there is a complication in your return, you will have to do this several times.

Tax websites work very differently. Once you've created an account and complied with the site's security requirements, you can stop worrying about which form you need and whether your calculations are correct. You also don't have to worry about how any change in the tax code will affect your return. That's all there is to it in the background.

When you use a digital tax preparation solution, you really fill out a huge questionnaire. These sites work like giant magicians: they ask questions on every page and you answer by answering. You enter information in blank fields, select the correct option from the list, or click the button.

When you have met all the requirements of a screen, you move on and complete it. You never have to look at the original IRS form or schedule (although in some cases, you can if you want to).

You will probably recognize the path you are taking. Sampled after ordering IRS Form 1040. You first provide contact information, including Social Security number (s) and date of birth (s), and then proceed to your income, deductions, credit, health insurance status, and taxes paid. After removing all headings that apply to you, these sites will review your return and highlight your mistakes or omissions.

When you clear them all, the software transfers your tax data back to any state you should file with (although not all of these are available in the preview that you received in late December and early January).

I'm watching). Once you have answered a variety of questions and checked your full refund, you have been asked to pay a service fee (if any). Finally, you can enter your return electronically and print it out.

What's It Like To Use Online Tax Services?

Along the way, personal tax preparation websites offer a lot of help. However, how helpful they will be if they only show copies of the original IRS forms and schedules on the screen and ask you to fill them out using the IRS instructions.

Instead, some of these solutions, such as H&R Blockchain and TurboTax, provide state-of-the-art user experiences. They are designed to make ugly work more beautiful. They use color, graphics, design, and layout to present screens that are lively and charming, rather than being as dull and lifeless as the original shapes.

The step-by-step path to data entry that they usually provide works unless you work your way through your entire return unless you have a lot of backing up or moving forward (where allowed). Jackson Hewitt, for example, asks if you would like to complete 1040 using your comprehensive interview. This option takes you through a long Q&A session. It asks you about any tax headings that may apply to you.

The second alternative, each online service offers, involves choosing the titles that apply to you. You choose from lists that provide income, deductions, credit, and taxes. When you select someone, the sites guide you through mini-interviews to get the information you need. After that, they will return you to the main list to choose another title, and so on, until you run out.

Most of the sites we've reviewed are hybrids of these two methods. The point is, what you have to read on the screen and follow its instructions. You spend most of your time answering questions and clicking on links to move on to the next screen or using the site's extensive navigation tools. These sites are good guides most of the time.

Tax Software Speaks Your Language, Not IRS-ESE

If you've ever filed a tax return, you know that understanding the IRS language in its formats and schedules can be a challenge.

Sometimes turning to written instructions doesn't help much. They are quite comprehensive - in fact, it is often difficult to find the exact answer to your question. When you find it, the language, again, can be difficult to understand.

From the earliest days, personal tax software developers have sought to translate IRS-ESE and make non-accounting more understandable.

They have rewritten their content so that the average taxpayer understands what is being requested. Services like Tax Act do more. For example, they provide hyperlinks to small help windows that further define a term or phrase. They expect questions you can ask and will post questions and answers, especially on complex topics. They try to make sure you understand the question being asked so that you provide the correct answer.

Everyone Needs More Help To Pay Their Taxes

Sometimes a friendly, understandable user experience and a description of the content displayed on the screens is not enough. Therefore, tax websites offer online help. Some, including the H&R block, offer context-sensitive explanations in panes attached to the main work area.

In some cases, this guide is not available until you click on the help link. And sometimes when you do, you have access to a large database of questions and answers. You may be guided by IRS instructions and publications on some sites, but in general, it is rewritten to make technical content understandable.

What will you do if your search for help on site fails? You may have a variety of questions: At first something like this happens, "Where do I enter the information that is in this paper form to me?" Or "The site won't let me go to the next page. What did I do wrong?" Or, simply, "I'm stuck. I can't find a way back to my screen where I enter information about mortgage interest."

All sites offer to contact the company's technical support representatives in at least one of three ways: by email, phone, or chat. Tax sellers, for example, offer all three. Some, such as the H&R block, offer online communities where you can see if someone else has already solved your problem.

However, these technical support representatives cannot advise you on points of technical law. So some offer to connect you to an accounting professional, often just by chat or phone. Although you will pay extra, if you use Turbo Tax directly you will get the latest and most comprehensive guide.

This service connects you directly to the CPA or EA (Registered Agent) via video chat, not only during the tax season but throughout the year. H&R Block has added similar services. Both companies have expanded these virtual resources for the 2020 tax year.

Are There Any Free Tax Filing Services Available?

Prices for tax websites range from 100 free this year. It turns out you can get a lot for free. According to our tax survey, in fact, 17% of you use free services. 20% of you use paid software. Every company we've reviewed offers a version that doesn't cost you anything to prepare and file your taxes. All support the 1040 form and assume you will make a standard deduction. In all of these, you can record or import your W-2 data in some cases.

Everyone goes even further in some ways. H&R Block is very generous in its free offerings in generally paid services. Block W-2 supports retirement plans and Social Security income. Child Care Expenses and Child Tax Credit Earned Income Credit (EIC); And interest to students.

The Tax Act also allows support for W-2, child tax credit, and college expenses, as well as retirement income, unemployment, and EIC. Turbo Tax lets you report W-2 income, EIC, and children's tax credit. Using the tax slider, you can enter your student loan interest and tuition fees in addition to W-2. And the free edition of Jackson Hewitt will produce and file EIC (no children), unemployment and W-2 income, and taxable income up to $ 100,000.

Two of the online tax services we reviewed are free (or nearly free): Credit Karma Tax and Free Tax USA. Both support all major IRS forms and schedules. Free Taxes does not charge anything unless you need to file a state return. Its price is 95 12.95.

You can also purchase enhanced support for support 6.99. Credit Karma Tax is the only personal tax preparation website that is completely free for both federal and state statements.

Lastly, note that if your income is below a certain threshold or if you are in the military, you may be eligible to use free paid software.

The IRS Free File program allows you to file federal (and possibly your state) tax-free, even if you're using an app like Turbo Tax. To find out if you are eligible, visit this page on the IRS website.

You Can Also Let the Tax Pros Take Over

The personal tax preparation services we review here are capable of preparing very complex tax returns. You'll have to pay more if you need to complete more forms and schedules (we reviewed the most popular versions, which in some cases weren't the strongest), but the tools are self-employed, Available for advanced topics such as depreciation, rental income. , And capital gains

If you are not comfortable with the ability to complete a complex tax return, but still want to give it a shot, you can go with a site like H&R Block. The company of course offers DI DIY preparation and filing. But if you go through some distance and feel that you are not sure about some tax issues, you can ask your H&R Block tax professional to review your return, complete it, and Can sign You can even just upload your documents and the pro will work on it. Turbo Tax offers similar services this year.

Stay Safe, Protect Your Privacy This Tax Season 2021

Whenever you send sensitive information to a network that you have no control over, you should be concerned. Since the tax is nothing more than sensitive data, you should worry about the coffee shop if you are filing from a coffee shop, bol, or airport.

It seems like half of you get it as if a tax survey we've put in the field for filing last year shows that 47 people who use online tax software of Concerned neo-hippies and their global warming, I'll tell ya.

Fortunately, protecting your traffic is as easy as using a VPN. A VPN can create a secure tunnel that encrypts your data, ensuring that anyone who manages to tamper with it only sees backbiting. In another survey on the security of using tax software, we found that only 37% of e-filers use VPN.

However, no amount of security software can protect you if you commit a tax scam by telephone, email, or in person. Scammers often rely on you to tell them what they want to know instead of getting it out of their computer with malware.

Instead, they make excuses, the IRS says, believing that there may be a reason to inquire about you and ask you to pay for your confidential information or imaginary fees. Are Know that the IRS will never call you in blue and ask for private information. The agency prefers to communicate via a text message sent via US mail. Here's how to avoid tax scams this filing season.

[angrylizardjacket]

what is and isn’t allowed {Roger Taylor}

Anon asked: So a fic where the reader is the bartender in that one pub/whatever it was the band first sang together in. Reader has been enjoying Smile’s performances for a while now, mostly because of the handsome drummer. Reader thinks they’ve gone unnoticed but one night, Roger shows up at the bar with his band mates. Drinks are served and Reader doesn’t notice Rogers roaming eyes. He’s actually been eyeing her for a few weeks now. Go crazy!

A/N: 2253 words. I hope this fills the prompt nicely!!

This job, like every job, came with it’s own set of perks and detractors. Perks included; being paid to hear live music, you and your coworkers got along, and once your shift ended, the boss let you have a few drinks on the house. Detractors? Well not a night went by when you weren’t hit on in the hopes of free drinks, sometimes you had to call the cops because of a fight or a shady customer, and you never seemed to have weekends off. Even after you left work on Saturday you probably couldn’t get on the piss since it was frowned upon to turn up the next day to serve the barflies hungover.

But you knew what you were getting into, and the perks far out weighed the detractors.

“Who’ve we got playing tonight?” You asked, bag slung over your shoulder as you walked into the bar on a Friday afternoon.

“Couldn’t you have read the sign on the way in?” Cameron, your favourite person to be rostered on with for a uni-bar night, sighed deeply. Giving him a sharp smile, you make your way behind the bar and drop your bag in the back room.

“Yeah, but I’m inside now and that feels like an effort,” you tell him, taking the tea towel he offers you.

“Smile.” He informs you, and your whole face lights up reflectively.

“Oh, awesome!” You enthuse, and quickly start drying glasses with him. Cameron’s smile is slight, but your enthusiasm melts through his annoyed front. 

Of all the university-based bands to come through your little establishment, Don’t Forget To Smile was probably the least mediocre, and definitely your favourite. When they were first starting out they were a little shaky, of course, every band has to start somewhere, but over the months that followed, Brian, Roger, and Tim had found their musical footing, and were churning out some pretty solid songs. You always looked forward to hearing them play, wondering if they’d increased their repertoire, and of course you also looked forward to seeing the men themselves.

“Evening Rog,” you smiled fondly at the blonde drummer as he leaned against the bar as Brian and a couple of new members you don’t recognise are doing sound checks, “this isn’t your usual lineup.” You commented, already collecting glasses to pour drinks for the band.

“Tim’s up and buggered off to join Humpy Bong.” Roger sighed, watching the rest of his band with mild interest.

“Humpy Bong? What kind of name is that?” You can’t help but snort, and that’s enough to draw his attention to you where you’re pulling pints with efficiency.

“I know, right? And he says we’re not going anywhere? Yeah, alright, good luck with that, mate,” he rolled his eyes, sarcasm thick in his voice. He’s pretty when he’s irritated, slumped against the bartop, chin perched on his hand while the other taps a steady rhythm against the counter. 

His eyes follow the movements of your hands as you pour the band’s drinks, but it doesn’t seem like he’s really looking at you. It’s not an uncommon occurrence, he never seemed to really pay too much attention to you for all that the two of you got along; you poured drinks, and listened to his gripes, and watched him pick up girls, and that was essentially the extent of your interactions. It didn’t bother you, you only saw him once a month, maybe twice, and it seemed absolutely nonsensical to be put out by it.

The point is, you tried really hard not to dwell on it. Just keep your head down and do your job, don’t make it weird for the band. They brought in a good crowd and you were not going to be the reason they didn’t come back.

The new singer, Freddie, was a little choppy to begin with, but he had an unrivalled stage presence; he was too charismatic to let the band fester in obscurity like they had been. And the new bassist? John? He was nothing if not good at his job; more subdued than the rest, he still found his niche bopping away by his amp. Brian was always stellar, always radiating a sophisticated confidence whenever he played, always smiled brightly when he wasn’t focused and intense on his playing; Brian was consistent, and you appreciated that about him. 

You would probably appreciate Roger more if he was less consistent. Not to say that was a reflection on his playing, he’s a fantastic drummer, but he also was well aware of it, and was able to pick up like a pro. So yeah, you tried hard not to dwell on it, but it was difficult when it seemed like you were getting him ‘a pint and whatever the lady wants’ every time he played here, always with a different girl. But you just smiled, agreed, and tried not to let your little crush show.

You’re the bartender. A means to an end, to help him get laid. Sometimes that’s just the way the world works.

“How’s your night?” It comes as a surprise to see him at the bar when another band is playing. Freddie, Brian, and John are all milling about, you can see them at a table by the wall, but Roger’s giving you a smile that’s all teeth in the face of your shocked response.

“You know you’ll need to pay for your own drinks,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth. Roger holds a hand to his chest, but his smile is still so warm.

“Is that how you greet all your customers?” He asks, but pulls a few notes from his back pocket and orders a round of drinks.

“Sorry, I just- I wasn’t expecting to see you- you guys,” you laughed a little, unthawing and getting their drinks, “guess I forget you exist even when you’re not performing.” That’s enough to get him to laugh, and you feel the tension in your shoulders ease.

“I didn’t realise you worked so often; do you you exist outside of this bar?”

“Not on weekends,” you counter with a smirk. You pause before handing him his drinks, glancing at the money he’d laid out of the counter, and you push it back towards him, “first one’s on me,” you tell him, “sorry for being a dick.”

He’s politely surprised, wearing a genuine smile as you hand over the drinks, and he thanks you kindly after stuffing the money back in his pocket. 

“Okay, new rule,” Cameron tells you the moment Roger’s out of earshot, “actually, two rules: Smile doesn’t get free drinks unless they’re playing, and you’re not allowed to serve Roger until you stop looking at him like a lovesick puppy.” He flicks you with his tea towel, and you flick him back, calling him an impolite term that earns you a startled look from the patron you’ve moved to serve, but you also don’t disagree. 

“I should tell him,” you sigh as you shake the woman’s margarita, pouting a little at the thought as you did so.

“You should tell him. You get all twitchy whenever he’s trying to pick up at your end; at least if he knows he might do it down my end instead.” Cameron’s mostly focused on making a gin and tonic, but he grins at your groan of despair. “Your crush is bad for business,” he continues, “no-one wants a twitchy bartender.”

“You’re heartless, you know that?” You inform Cameron, who just turns to you after his customer has paid, and blows a kiss.

Roger comes up a few more times for drinks, sometimes with one or all of the others, sometimes just by himself, but Cameron sticks to his rules and is always the one to serve him. To your surprise, Roger is there the longest, and remains solitary for most of the night. Sure, he talks to girls, but he seems to brush them off, and every so often you catch him watching you.

“Hey, is everything alright? Are you avoiding me?” He manages to catch you when you’re clearing away glasses and stop by his table. The band is packing up, the crowd is slowly dispersing; Cameron’s got a handle on the few patrons still at the bar.

“What?” You laugh a little nervously, he smiles but seems unconvinced.

“It’s just every time I come to the bar, even if you’re the only one free, you some are magically replaced by,” he hesitates for a moment, “the other one.”

“Cameron,” you supply easily, and Roger nods. “Oh, well he saw me give you free drinks earlier and, uh, didn’t want it happening again.” You shrugged, and it’s not a lie, persay, it’s just not the whole truth.

“Sorry, I mean I can-” and he’s fishing around in his pockets for his wallet but you waved him off. After a moment of silence, Roger swirls the last of his beer around in his glass and downs it in a single gulp, placing the cup into your waiting hand.

“You never did tell me how your night was,” he sits at the bar as you wash up the glasses. Cameron gives you a sharp look, but Roger catches it and says he’s not ordering anything, to placate the other bartender. It works enough that Cameron doesn’t come over immediately.

“My night’s good; always love a good bit of live music, you know?” You smile over your shoulder at him and Roger laughs.

“Yeah, when we can, me and the boys like to check out the competition.”

“I’m not sure you guys could consider tonight’s lot competition.”

“Is that a compliment?” He asks, tipping his head to the side and fixing you with an amused smile.

“Of course,” you respond without hesitation, “it’s always a treat to have Smile play.” You tell him earnestly, and again there’s that genuine smile of his. It caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but return a fond smile of your own. You hear someone clearing their throat a few feet away, and when you turn, Cameron’s giving you a very pointed look. “Oh shove off,” you rolls your eyes, mood souring.

“Well we like playing here,” Roger’s words cut through the awkward moment like a hot knife through butter, and you’re so grateful, “good little pub, good staff, what’s not to like?” He sounds sincere when he says it, and your heart grows warm, proud of your establishment, “and actually, I never really noticed it before, but I like your uniforms, you both look very slick.” Roger adds, and Cameron gives you a look like his soul has left his body out of frustration.

“Y/N, go take a break, go outside, I’m begging you.” Cameron told you, and you pressed your lips together in a thin line, frowning.

“Dude, I’m washing up-”

“Now now, I don’t want you to get overworked and twitchy.” He hissed at you, and your whole expression wrinkled reflexively. Roger just looked on in confusion. You leave anyways, and surprisingly, Roger follows you.

Outside is warm, it’s Summer and the sky is clear; stars twinkle overhead as you sit in the carpark outside on a stool by the back of the bar.

“Everything alright?” He asks, kicking at the gravel idly.

“Cameron’s under the impression that-” but you cut yourself off, sighing deeply. Roger pulled a packet of cigarettes from his back pocket, lighting one up.

“Can I ask you something?” He looked a little contemplative, and walked to join you, offering his cigarette, though you declined; he leaned against the wall where you were standing, looking up at the sky, “you can tell me to fuck off at any time, believe me, many people do, but Brian told me it’s a bit of a shit thing to hit on a bartender while she’s working.” He mused, and your heart was suddenly thundering in your chest. “And I mean, when we’re both working? It does feel weird, I’m not gonna lie, so I don’t, you know, do it.”

“Well I’m not working now, I’m on my break,” you smiled a little, and he turns to look at you, eyebrows raised, “what did you wanna ask me?”

“I wanted to ask you to come home with me.”

A pause follows in which you can’t help but beam, though you still have one more thought plaguing your mind.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Seems hypocritical to say no,” he chuckled, and you couldn’t help but laugh at that, before it died down.

“Why tonight?”

“Finally had a night off, wanted to see if you were just as nice when you weren’t paying us.” Roger grinned, and you rolled your eyes, turning to look at him. “And you look really good tonight.” He admitted.

After a moment, he meets your gaze; you’re basically shoulder to shoulder and he’s so damn close. It doesn’t come as a surprise when he reaches over to take your face in his hands, kissing you gently. Without hesitation you kiss him back, leaning into it, deepening the kiss quickly, taking what you’ve been craving for so long. 

And maybe he just wants a one night stand, maybe it’s more than that, but you’d be remiss to not take this chance. He’s already got a hand moving down to your thigh, and you break away, a little breathless.

“I finish at one; do you wanna ask me that question?”

“Would you like to come home with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

[monsterywriting]

Werewolf Boyfriend (Mordecai/Kai) - pt 1

masterlist

word count: 1,946

You practically melted in your seat as you finally boarded the Greyhound bus to go back home. It was almost 8.30 at night on a Thursday, but there were far less people than you expected on board, three others besides you. Having four hours to kill, you were just about ready to pass out in the cushioned chair.

Just before the bus was about to leave, a young man clambered up the stairs at the last minute. When the young man had walked down the aisle, it was clear he had to have been at least 6 foot, well-built but not overly bulky. He was sweeping his unruly black hair from his doe-like light brown eyes as he scanned for a seat. But his most prominent feature was the densely packed freckles covered his slightly tanned face and neck. Finally, he sat in the aisle directly across from you by the window.

He looked vaguely familiar, and based on his University of Greenview t-shirt, you assumed you had probably seen him around campus. Just as you felt your eyes grow heavy and were about to give in to your exhaustion, you felt someone staring at you.

Cracking open one eye, you suddenly turned your head to meet the young man’s stare, making him jump.

“Sorry, it’s just you really look familiar…” he laughed sheepishly, his curls falling back in his face at the movement.

You moved your arms that you’d had crossed in front of you, showing your university hoodie. His eyes lit up as he finally seemed to make the connection.

“We’re in the same Psychology class!” He said just a little too loudly, earning a couple of hard stares from the rest of the passengers in the back of the bus, who he threw an apologetic smile to everyone before going on more quietly, “I’m Mordecai, but everyone calls me Kai.”

“I’m [Y/N],” you yawned, sitting up as you gave up on sleep to socialize, if only because Kai was cute and it would also make for a very awkward class once the break was over, “I didn’t know anyone from Newport went to UG. No one from my school went.”

“Me neither,” Kai grinned, moving to the aisle seat and turning to face you more fully, “I grew up on the east side of town.”

“I’m from the north side,” you smiled back after a brief moment; Kai’s high energy was practically contagious.

You were somewhat curious, though. The east side of town was mostly gated communities that were pretty insular to each other. Some even had their own schools built inside of them for residents only. Even amongst other people from Newport, those from the east tended to keep to their own, much to the confusion and curiosity of the rest of the city. There were all kinds of rumors surrounding the east side, mostly to do with weird cults.

“So did you go visit your family for winter break?” Kai asked, looking rather nervous as he seemed to sense your train of thought and changing the subject.

“Yeah, I haven’t been home since summer break so it was nice to see everyone,” you smiled, “I’m an only child but my parents both come from pretty close knit families so we’re all pretty close and we all got together.”

“Man, I can’t imagine being an only child,” Mordecai said in genuine awe, “I have two brothers and a sister!”

For the rest of the ride, you and Kai talked about anything and everything, from hour many hours you were both taking, to getting acclimated to a small college town after growing up in a fairly large city. Both of you initially bonded over your shared hometown, but the more you two talked the more you found out you had many more things in common. You both ended up recommending each other different bands to check out once you found out you both had similar tastes in music. You also found that, while you had different majors, many of your required classes were the same and that you did have some classes together in the past.

You also learned that Kai had transferred to Greenview in the middle of his second year, wanting to move closer to home, and that he was on the baseball team, though not in the starting lineup, “yet,” he added as a look of pure determination came across his face and you struggled to hold back a laugh lest he think you were making fun of him.

“So why the greyhound?” You finally asked Kai, the two of you now fully facing each other in the aisle, “My car decided to break down a couple days before I had to leave and some obscure part needed to be replaced that would take a week to come in, so I just bought a bus ticket.”

“I don’t have bad luck like you,” Kai began, laughing a bit as you scoffed, “I just wanted to save on gas, since I only went for a couple days for one of my cousin’s wedding.”

With only an hour left before reaching your destination, Kai fell asleep first. You had both been slowly nodding off for a while, so it took you a minute to realize you didn’t hear Kai’s constant chatter.

Once you realized he was asleep, however, you couldn’t seem to fall asleep yourself. Instead, you opted to take out a tattered old paperback of your favorite book, which you brought for this very occasion, and read until reaching Greenview.

When the bus finally pulled into the station and everyone began gathering their things before getting off to get the rest of their luggage, Kai was still asleep. Shaking him awake and pretending not to notice when you saw him wipe the drool falling down the side of his mouth, you stepped off the bus and grabbed your duffel bag.

You were about to wait to say goodbye to Kai before you left, but your roommate texted you saying she was waiting for you and you had to leave. At first, you were worried about not exchanging instagrams or any messengers, but you reasoned that you could always just talk to him once classes started again on Wednesday, especially since you had Psychology first thing that morning.

You told your roommate about the coincidence of meeting someone else from your hometown who went to the same school as you who also happened to ride the greyhound and at that day and time, no less.

“Maybe it’s fate,” your roommate laughed, before getting into everything that had happened in the two weeks you’d been gone, mostly updates about your car getting fixed by the local mechanic and how she’d already gone to pick it up, “Oh, and all of us were going to go see that super blood wolf moon lunar eclipse on Monday at the park if you wanted to come. It’s Evelyn’s extra credit assignment for her astronomy class so we were gonna make a night of it.”

“Yeah, sounds fun,” You smiled, glad there was something to look forward to while waiting for classes to start, since the small town of Greenview doesn’t seem to liven up until the university does.

Monday night rolled around, and your roommate and yourself drove to the park to meet up with your group of friends for the viewing, the large moon already visible well above the tree line and the bottommost corner of it already darkened.

There were some unfamiliar faces as your friends brought some other people, making for a rather large group. As you greeted everyone for the first time since you left, you realized you had to use the restroom, the building for which was a good five minute walk deeper into the park.

You were about to ask your roommate to come with you, but stopped short when you saw her talking to her long time crush in the middle of the group. Smiling to yourself, you turned and started walking, deciding you would be fine by yourself since you could just follow the brightly lit path and you’d be right back anyways, even if you would miss the first couple minutes of the eclipse.

You made it to the small brick building in no time, the only inconvenience was the stretch of path without any lights, making you scurry to the next light post with your phone flashlight on in fear of someone hiding out in the bushes waiting to jump out. But, you made it in one piece and quickly took care of business, throwing your used paper towel into the bin in front of the entryway and began walking back to the group.

Everything was fine up until you reached that same stretch of darkness. Just as you turned on your phone light, something jumped onto the path a couple meters in front of you, making you gasp and drawing the things attention to you.

Its eyes reflected the light of your phone and for a brief second relief washed over you as you thought it was just a big dog, but you were sorely mistaken as you watched the dog-looking thing begin to stand on its hind legs, towering over you as it began taking a few steps towards you, its ears swiveling around as it stared down at you.

It was huge, standing at least two feet over you, its muzzle partially open fully showing its sharp canines. You could also swear there was something somewhat human looking about its stance. It also seemed to be smelling the air and got down on all fours and took a couple steps closer to you.

You couldn’t hear anything as the blood rushed in your ears, but as soon as you saw one of the thing’s clawed hands reaching out to you your adrenaline kicked in. You rushed towards it at full speed, shoving it hard enough to make it stumble back a few steps as you ducked around it and narrowly dodged its hand reaching towards you. You felt your leg muscles straining as you broke out in a sprint, not daring to check and see if the thing was even chasing you in fear it was right behind you. All you focused on was making it back to the group, if it did follow you then at least everyone else would see it too and you would know you weren’t completely batshit insane.

You broke into the clearing, practically hyperventilating as you struggled to explain what you’d just seen to the group crowding around you in concern.

Your roommate rushed to envelope you in a tight hug, asking you why you didn’t ask her to come with you before telling the others that she was taking you home. You cried the entire way back, and your roommate was horrified to hear what you had seen, knowing you weren’t the type to bullshit about that kind of thing, especially while hanging out with strangers.

She also convinced you to sleep in her room that night, though you didn’t take too much convincing.

You slept almost all day the next day, getting up only to shower and then eat an early dinner with your roommate. At some point, you’d convinced yourself that you had only been paranoid because of the lack of light and walking in the park at night alone. Your roommate didn’t seem convinced, but said nothing as you decided the monster was all a figment of your imagination. Classes began tomorrow and you would soon be too busy to be afraid of weird monsters roaming small local parks.

[passage-not-granted]

Curious what’s inside this magazine? Click “Keep reading” for a short review of this Robot Trains treat I found at local store!

For a short introduction: this magazine is published by Egmont Polska, a branch of the huge European publishing house specializing in children’s books (mostly known for Donald Duck comics). Egmont publishes also many other licensed magazines with such popular kids’ franchises, as My Little Pony, Minecraft or Paw Patrol. Those franchises are huge, and I was really curious what could possibly be included in a magazine about this obscure show which is Robot Trains. But most importantly...

What convinced me to buy this magazine is the toy included. They call it a “collectible figure” of Kay and not a “toy”, most probably to accentuate that he cannot move. The magazine costs 10zł, which is about 2,30 euro or 2,50 dollars, and honestly the quality of the figure is surprisingly good for such a low price. The paintjob is a bit off, but the shapes and proportions are faithful to the cartoon character. I’m definitely going to put Kay on my shelf right next to McDonald’s pokemon and anime nendoroid, I just like this figure so much!

This Kay is about 8,5 cm tall, or 3,5 inch.

From the behind you can see how many colouring details are missing on this figure. Still, Kay looks absolutely recognizable. I guess I’m going to paint the details myself one day.

I love the eyes, the manufacturer decided to just put on two stickers and it’s a brilliant idea, since that’s the only way to faithfully show the beautiful eyes of Robot Trains characters. The right eye is a bit messy though.

The arms are the weakest part of this figure, the paint is so messy and the recognizable “inner-fingernails” of the characters are missing. Just don’t look at the arms.

Back to the magazine! On the first page we’re greeted by Alf. This is actually a foreshadowing for the main hero of the next issue!

Next page introduces all the robot characters. Notice that Duke has glowing red eyes. The introduction text claims this magazine is for true Robot Trains fans and I cannot disagree. Generic children’s games and puzzles start right here, using the stock pictures and poses of the characters.

Next two pages are an analysis of Kay, detailing his special power and magnetic engine, but everyone already knows that from the show. What’s interesting is this little bit about modules from the cars (”Serwis” is Auto in the Polish dub!): turboboosters, jet turboamplifier, turborollerblades, and ultradurable three-layer obsidian coat. Neat!

Next four pages are a novelization of the first episode of the show. I welcome these screenshots with open arms! Next we have a colouring page of Kay and a drawing contest for kids.

Here comes the poster! One side is this stock pose of Kay accompanied by a dynamic shot of the virus, along with a terrified Duck. This looks really good! The other side of the poster is a lineup of the young robots on a yellow background, which is cool if your favourite character is someone other than Kay or Duck.

Next we have a simple race game. Some of the spaces have nice descriptions, like this one: “Alf leads you along a mountain route. Jump to space 37”. Thanks, Alf! Next few pages contain various games like “find five differences” or “match identical elements” or “draw along the line”.

And then two pages are dedicated to Kay’s base station! This window gives us the names of all the screens at the base, coded with their respective colours.

Here you need to pick Kay’s base. And honestly, I don’t think we have seen the other bases more than once each! Duck’s was in the alternate world, Selly’s actually appears a few times, and I don’t even remember Alf’s!

The last page has the solution to all games. I laughed at the text, as it says: “Stella knows all the answers.”

And finally an announcement for the next issue, this time centered around Alf! I really like this pose, probably haven’t seen it before.

That’s it! Generally it’s a children’s magazine with generic games and a whole lot of pictures. For a kid who’s a fan of Robot Trains this will be a lot of fun, I guess. For a fanartist who needs art references this is also a good choice. It had a bit more content than I expected, and generally is well-made and looks good. And the Kay figure is cute! 7/10 already bought next issue haha

[thesportssoundoff]

Playoff Droughts And Who Can Break Theirs

Joey

Baseball season is approaching and in the interest of breaking up the monotony of what figures to be a LONG and painful spring training, I wanted to take a peek whimsically while looking backwards. There's no more enjoyable story than when a team that's been excluded from the postseason dance for quite some time gets their invite. Sometimes it's years of hard work and team building and other years its due to ownership just throwing money around and sometimes? It's just a fluke luck circumstance not to be repeated for quite some time. For the sake of doing something of a bit of a project, I decided to take a brief look at teams that have not made the playoffs in over five years. I chose five years arbitrarily I suppose because to me five years or more without a playoff run is a genuine drought whereas four or less just feels like a lull regardless of expectations. Yankees fans may consider three years without the playoffs to be a drought whereas that's if anything a lull or a break in tradition. Teams that have been out of it for five years or more are teams that are either mired in long term BAD baseball or embracing mediocrity at best and so five years just felt right. Also I wanted to do it since the invent of the two game wild card but then it would be literally just three teams and nobody wants that.

Of the eight teams who have missed the playoffs for five years straight or longer, who are most likely to break that streak and join the dance? Well...

1- Philadelphia Phillies Last Playoff Appearance: 2011

Last year's darling picks, the Phillies have been out of the playoffs since 2011. For fun facts, 2011 was also the first year of the Chromebook, snapchat and the release of Elder Scrolls: Skryim. If you read this space for MMA? 2011 was the year Jon Jones beat Shogun for the LHW title, the Strikeforce HW Grand Prix started and Alistair Overeem's UFC debut. It's been a while and to the credit of Philadelphia, they've tried a multitude of ways from riding out the final years of aging veterans to rehauling their farm system to spending and spending big. It's not for a lack of trying they haven't made it back to the playoffs! Last year they seemed armed to roll through a perceived weak NL East with big names and big money across the board. Of course little did we know the Nationals would be better without Bryce Harper and the Phillies wouldn't even crack the top two of the division. Out goes Gabe Kapler and in comes Joe Girardi who will be tasked with VETERAN MANAGING his way through this ultra talented and underachieving roster that has added the likes of Zach Wheeler, Didi Gregorious as well as Andrew McCutchen who was lost early into 2019 with a torn ACL. The Phillies boast an insane line up as if Didi and Cutch are healthy and productive then you've got a core of Jean Segura, JT Realmuto, Didi, McCutchen, Rhys Hoskins and Bryce Harper. The rotation is pretty damn spiffy (health permitting) with Wheeler, Aaron Nola, Zach Eflin and Jake Arrieta plus flostam as a fifth if need be. The Phillies are always going to be a team that has slumps magnified and streaks glorified (such is life with Bryce Harper) but I can't see them not cracking the playoffs in some form or fashion this year. If they don't make the playoffs, we may need to try and discuss if there's some kind of a curse out there on the Phanatic.

2- Cincinnati Reds Last Playoff Appearance: 2013

Gotta admit I had no idea the Reds had a playoff cameo back in 2013. Guess that's just one of those years lost to time. Fun facts of 2013? Grand Theft Auto 5 came out that year, Yahoo purchased this hell site and the UFC brought women into the organization for the first time ever. The Reds spoke openly about wanting to spend a bit in the offseason and so they did, flexing some financial muscle with deals for Mike Moustakas, Shogo Akiyama and Nick Castellanos to help out a lineup featuring the likes of Joey Votto, Nick Senzel and Eugenio Suarez. If the Reds are going to make a serious run of things, it'll likely be on the arms of a rejuvenated Sonny Gray, mercurial Trevor Bauer and the league's best kept secret to casual fans Luis Castillo. There's obviously going to be concerns about a team that hits a lot of dingers but strikes out a bunch and a somewhat unheralded bullpen but the Reds have power, they've gotten better and they've got a cadre of arms to flex at any time. Also? The NL Central figures to be up in the air as the Cubs seem to coast with the core they have until the rebuild comes around, the Cardinals and Brewers underwent massive changes and the Pirates figure to be flat out bad. There's never been a more clear path for the Reds to make some October noise.

3- Los Angeles Angels Last Playoff Appearance: 2014

The year is 2014. In the real world,  Colorado legalizes the purchase of wacky tobacky, selfies became "a thing" in need of forever going away and the occulus rift creates a youtube grift genre. Sports wise? The MLB struggles through record rating woes, the Cowboys finally break through in the Jason Garrett tenure with a 12-4 record, the UFC is undergoing massive upheaval as stars retire or are suspended for PEDs, Bellator hosts its first PPV which in turn leads to the ousting of Bjorn Rebney for Scott Coker and LeBron James leaves Miami to go back where it all began in Cleveland. That's the last time the Angels saw a playoff game and it's been beaten to death at this point. "WHY DON'T THE ANGELS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS DURING MIKE TROUT'S PRIME?!" is tired and done to death but for those of you who feel the same way, 2020 marks the BEST chance for that to become a fad question (or perhaps just morph into "WHY CAN'T THE BEST PLAYER IN BASEBALL WIN THE WORLD SERIES ON HIS OWN?!") since the Angels are pretty damn loaded for bare. With the Astros about to endure a pretty weird season and the A's always lurking, the Angels will roll into the year with three bonafide superstars in Anthony Rendon, Shohei Otani and Mike Trout. The pieces around them aren't bad shakes either as Andrelton Simmons is a defensive whiz, David Fletcher is one of those solid under the radar types and the rotation isn't flashy but it should be competent with minor league depth to make moves if they see a big fish out there. The Angels would've been higher up had they gotten Ross Stripling and Joc Pedersen in a deal but since that fell off, I feel like 3rd behind the Reds and Phillies is a fine spot to put them in.

4- Chicago White Sox Last Playoff Appearance: 2008

2008 will probably best be known as the year of change headlined by the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States. It was the year Fidel Castro stepped down in Cuba. China got the olympics in Beijing and people were TOTALLY cool about that with nary any controversy whatsoever. Beyond that? 2008 was the year I got into MMA and that was a special time, dudes. It was also the year where the White Sox saw their last real sustained succeed with its last postseason appearance. The White Sox feel like they've been in a rebuild since pretty much the end of the Ozzie Guillen tenure and despite multiple managers, multiple attempts to figure it out, rebuilds aplenty and some damn good talent coming through the organization, it's been a rough go of it for the majority of 2010 to 2019. Put it this way, the LAST time the White Sox made the playoffs, Chris Sale was a 22 year old rookie and Paul Konerko was still an active player. They've got a chance to kick off this next decade as a bit of a sleeper team in the Central. This team can hit and one can assume that another year of development for phenom talents like Yoan Moncada and Eloy Jiminez can only help. Tim Anderson for better or worse has a style and swagger that generates attention but it is fair to remember that for at least one half a season, he was a phenomenal player worthy of the acclaim. The White Sox have tried hard to secure elite free agents (Manny Machado and Zack Wheeler) but it's been a bust so at this point it's going to be up to them to draft, develop and trade for it. It would not surprise me if the White Sox are good enough in June and July to make a big deal to try and push them over the hump and chase for the second wild card.

5- San Diego Padres Last Playoff Appearance: 2006

The Padres last made the playoffs in the year of the Nintendo Wii. Floyd Mayweather hadn't even come up with his Money Mayweather gimmick yet! Lost to baseball obscurity, the Padres had at the very least an interesting team out west. The likes of Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr, arguably the worst defensive outfield in the history of the universe and freakishly good young arms like Chris Paddack and Joey Luchessi at least made them fun to watch. They weren't "good" but this is a team that was still struggling to balance expensive veterans with clout (Machado, Eric Hosmer, Will Meyers) with really good young talent trying to figure things out. The Padres figure to be better with a full season of Tatis Jr, more production from guys like Hosmer and Machado plus improvements in the outfield with Tommy Pham and Trent Grisham (hold your jokes, Nats fans) figure to give this team a chance. There's a pretty good bullpen (Emilio Pagan is a sneaky nice pick up) and plenty of talent in their 26 man roster. The NL West has so much legit top talent with the D-Backs and Dodgers figuring to be really good that it's hard to make an argument for the Padres to be a playoff contender but they figure to try and trying is truly half the battle.

6- Miami Marlins Last Playoff Appearance: 2003

It's kind of a bummer that we didn't get our decennial Marlins "The fuck?" World Series win but they made up for it by giving us Jeffrey Loria and David Samson fucking things up for most of the decade leading to Derek FUCKING Jeter opting to get into the management game much to the chagrin of most folks on all sides. The Marlins are in the midst of rebuilding....again. Don't expect them to compete but they've got some good talent to at least want to see play. Brian Anderson, Caleb Smith, Jorge Alfaro and a bundle of veteran signings that will at the very least make the Marlins a fun trade partner in July will keep this team relevant. Wouldn't surprise me if the Marlins flirt with a 20 win swing from where they were last year.

7- Seattle Mariners Last Playoff Appearance: 2001

My god man. The Mariners were SO close in 2018, winning 89 games and finishing a few spots out of a Wild Card spot. As if they decided that this core couldn't do it, the Mariners went to work tearing their team apart and were rewarded with a pretty blegh squad that was once again picked apart at the deadline. To their credit they have some spiffy talent worth watching, namely the infield duo of JP Crawford and Shed Long. They’ve also got some fun young arms who might take the next step. Just don't expect them to win many games.

8- Detroit Tigers Last Playoff Appearance: 2014

The Tigers are aways away from being contenders. They're not trying to be contenders. They're in the midst of what could best be described as a multiple year rebuild after riding out the end days of the core from the start of the 2010's. They will be bad but god bless 'em for embracing it.

[upsettlspaghettl]

Empire City Con 2019

I can say with confidence that this has been the best weekend of my life. People will be so quick to say that the Steven Universe fandom is one of the most toxic fandoms out there, but in all my years of going to conventions, this has been the most welcoming and friendly by far. Now, this could be because it’s a convention based on one singular fandom, as opposed to the mishmash of fandoms that gather at other conventions, but even Bronycon was nowhere near this level of welcoming. Then again, I only got the chance to go to 2 Bronycons so I don’t know if I can say much.

The flight to North Carolina was surprisingly not that bad. I’m very prone to getting lost, but I left 4 hours in advance and I didn’t even need those 4 hours. But this was my first time ever flying somewhere completely alone.

I got the chance to meet Deedee Magno Hall, who signed my Guide to the Crystal Gems. Now it’s my goal to get all the character pages signed. But it’s got all the fusions of season 1, so chances are I won’t ever get the chance to get Sugilite’s page signed. Oh well, a fan can dream, right? Just kind of a bummer because she happens to be my favorite fusion.

She also validated my OC ship with Yellow Pearl which was super cool of her. Deedee is a really sweet person. While waiting in line to meet her I made friends with a kid, and he was fanboying like crazy. Later on we met somebody else, and we all did karaoke together. Then they got to do a group Karaoke with Deedee, which I was unfortunately too nervous to join. She said she would try do one with me but we never got the chance, but either way I’m so grateful. She’s a really kind person and I hope I can meet her again!

My part in the karaoke was still really fun though. Me and my 2 friends were having a hard time figuring out what song to do, and since the instrumentals were live, the people playing only had a limited number of songs they could play. Eventually we agreed on Stronger than you. But the instrumental team couldn’t play that one, so one of my new friends asked everybody to sing along and be inclusive. I got to to do the Peridot rap onstage too! Only me and 1 other person in the audience did that though so it was really scary and I fumbled a lot... but I’m still so happy that I got to because it was just such a good time for everybody.

There was actually a garnet cosplayer who’s act was right before ours and they were still by the karaoke lineup, so one of my friends asked them to come join us. Toward the middle of our act, this same friend spotted a Jasper in the front row, dragged them up on stage, and we had an adorable fake fight scene. I had to hop off stage right before the song ended to hug somebody in the front row who was crying. I was relieved to hear that they were tears of joy. In the end, they invited my group to sit in the front row with them.

Right, and Garnet’s act! They actually sang the original SU opening in German which was super amazing. Toward the end, there was a Pearl cosplayer in her Mr. Greg tuxedo who sang It’s Over isn’t it with Deedee, and a Yellow Pearl cosplayer who did an amazing Yellow Pearl-y take on Do it for her. So yeah the variety of acts was fantastic and the whole thing was just so feel-good all around.

At the very end of the karaoke, after everyone had gotten a chance and we were all just hanging out in the karaoke room, I was given a Spinel promo pin by a Mystery Girl. Not literally a Mystery Girl cosplayer, but somebody who I thought was just... well, somebody. They mentioned having extras from the movie screening in CA, and were handing them out to Spinel cosplayers. Of course I was hopping up and down being super thankful to an awkward degree, like I normally do.

That night, I told my roommates what happened, and they told me just who that Mystery Girl was. None other than Mackenzie Atwood, creator of the Pearl’s Secret Rap Career series. My facial recognition is terrible, so I didn’t realize at the time. I was lucky enough to run into her again the next morning during breakfast in the hotel lobby, so I got to thank her personally in the end.

Speaking of Mystery Girls, there actually was a Mystery Girl cosplayer who was especially awesome. Not even ten minutes after arriving at the convention, I see 2 Spinels who welcome me into their Spinel group. A Mystery Girl cosplayer is with them, and they hand me a pair of shoe squeakers. They look like tiny clear whoopie cushions, and Mystery Girl was handing them out to all the Spinels. I don’t know about everybody else, but mine drew a lot of attention from other con-goers because I was super happy and energetic at this con so I ran everywhere I went. People were always laughing and it made me so happy that I was able to make people smile. I’ll definitely be using them again in my future Spinel cosplays.

One of the people I shared a hotel room with was a Spinel cosplayer on the first day, and they were carrying an amazing Spinel plushie that I remember seeing a photo of on Deviantart, and later showed up for sale on Etsy. It was super expensive and I remember wanting it, but I couldn’t be jealous because I know I was super lucky to even see the thing in real life!

On the second day, I met a sweet little girl who seemed to think I was the real Spinel. She drew me a picture of Baby Spinel, and I gave her my drawing of Baby Spinel which I’d made earlier that day in the quiet room. Later on, one of the convention organizers was holding a game session, and this kid crushed me in a round of Gem Gem Clod... which is Duck Duck Goose, but better. Note to self: playing games that involve running when wearing pink high heeled boots probably isn’t gonna go well!

After some games, we made some meep morps. Somebody started a trend of drawing Lion on the little canvases we were given, but my Lion wasn’t coming out quite right, so after I finished drawing his head I just. put it on one single leg. You’ve heard of Leg Pearl, now get ready for Leg Lion. I was super happy about that too because I made everybody laugh.

Once we ran out of canvases, the organizer offered to take polaroids of some of us, so now me and this adorable little kid had matching photos, which we put in tiny pink frames and put a Spinel gem on each.

oh also! the game organizer had a tattoo on their leg of a bunch of anime characters, mainly the cute “squad mascot” archetype. There was Hawk, Happy, a few other characters, and Keroro! I totally freaked out over Keroro because it’s a relatively obscure series, and it was the first show that really got me into anime! I’ve always loved things like Pokemon and Naruto, but Keroro Gunso was my gateway to the anime community as a whole.

At around noon, I spent a little more time in the room where the games were held, which had some board games of its own, books, and art supplies and overall functioned as just a room to hang out in. There I met a Pink Diamond cosplayer in a pink schoolgirl uniform and an Uravity hat (really cute outfit!), and a goth Spinel cosplayer. The Pink Diamond cosplayer was a great artist and drew a really cute magical girl Steven. These 2 people also taught me what a vsco girl was when they were joking about the fact that Pink Diamond would totally be one. I was super confused but it was really funny after they explained it.

There was a cosplay fashion show much later in the day and I made friends with a Ruby and Sapphire while sitting in line. They were a couple irl and went on stage together and they were adorable! They were also both Hazbin Hotel and Harry Potter fans, so we had a lot to talk about. We kept talking while we waited in line for the Sadie Killer and the Suspects concert too, and a few other people joined us. I’d only just met these people but I really felt surrounded by friends.

Earlier in the day, while I was waiting in line to meet Kinetic Cosplay, I ran into an amazing Sour Cream and Buck Dewey. I got their photo, only to later see them on stage as a part of the real life Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Jenny Pizza was also on stage, but I didn’t see her before that.

While the convention was great, something also happened that scared the hell out of me. At NYCC just last month, I bought some very tiny stickers, one of which was Froppy from BHNA. When I got home and unpacked, it was gone. I thought maybe it fell into the fabric of my backpack, and if it did, there was really no way to retrieve it unless it decided to fall out again. However at the convention... I was at the registration table, decorating my con badge. I pick up my phone, and suddenly the Froppy sticker falls out of nowhere. It looked like it came from the phone, but I can’t imagine where it would have fit and gotten stuck. It kinda just fell out of the void. Either way I’m glad to have it back.

Lets see... I also got some pictures of the real life Mr. Universe van... and later on I ran into the owner of the van in full Mr. Universe gear.

The Garnet cosplayer was Cotton Candy garnet on the second day and I still can’t get over how sweet and nice they were.

There were some family cosplays. On the first day I saw a Yellowtail carrying a baby doll dressed as Onion, and then on the second day the same person was with a Vidalia cosplayer, and an actual child dressed as Onion.

There were also a pair of parents dressed as Connie’s mom and dad, and their kid dressed as Connie.

On the first day there was a Mr. Smiley which was super cool and unexpected, and then on the second day they were Bismuth. There were actually 3 Bismuths in total at the con which was surprising because that wig looks super difficult to make. Anyone who can pull that off is amazing!

The last day only went on until about noon, but my flight didn’t leave until the next day. I didn’t book my hotel room for that night because I wanted extra time in case I got lost on the way to the airport. Turned out there were free shuttles. I ended up in the same shuttle as that Pink Diamond cosplayer and her dad, and she showed me this adorable RPG game app called Wholesome Cats. We took some snapchats together and now I know what I’d look like as a boy...

Since there was a shuttle to the airport, that meant I was super early for my flight. Super early as in, almost 12 hours early. After going through security, I was planning to just sleep at the gate, but my gate number wasn’t on the screen. So I asked an airport employee, and he told me that I wasn’t even supposed to be let through security until the next day, which was when my gate number was supposed to show up... whoops. It wasn’t so bad though, either way I’d just be hanging out at the airport for the night. I decided not to sleep though, just in case. It felt weird late at night, when the airport was more or less completely empty. It was so nice and quiet, and the Starbucks was still open so I had a super yummy dinner of pumpkin bread and cheese danishes.

I think that’s about it? If you wanna see pictures, I’ll be posting them all to a public album on Gnomie Leviton on Facebook, and I’ll also select a special few to post on QueenGnomie on Instagram.

If you add me on FB please tell me your url! I only add people who I've talked to before.

In conclusion!

This was by far my favorite convention I’ve ever been to, because you could literally just go up to someone, start talking, and you’d immediately have an awesome new friend. I’ve never been to a con before where every single person was so approachable. It really felt like everybody there was one big family. I already have a potential roommate for next year, so I really hope to get back on my feet soon so I can go!

[arbitrarygreay]

Crunchyroll Expo 2019

This is mainly in response to the things I heard at the feedback panel. 1. I have so much sympathy for the staff who were the panelists. I also hope they don't give too much weight to the criticisms they heard there. The panel seems to self-select for the most obnoxious tone-deaf non-central attendees, given that the vast majority of attendees were enjoying themselves elsewhere, instead of bombarding the staff with their hare-brained suggestions. 2. From what I experienced, Crunchyroll Expo has a distinct identity as a large anime convention: succeeding strongly where Japan Expo USA failed, as a convention centered around professional guests, and even moreso around guests from Japan. I'd say all of the panels were associated with people working in the entertainment industry in some form. Thanks to the Crunchyroll origins, they had the connections to be credible to the Japan guests, the clout and name recognition to attract attendees early on, the capital to fund the production value, and very importantly, the local expertise to much better handle location logistics than JXUSA could. I quite like this distinct identity, and CRX shouldn't stray too far from that. It's not Fanime, PAX, or SacAnime, and it shouldn't try to be. There were lots of suggestions at the feedback panel for more community events, and I wouldn't want the con to go too far in that direction. Keep gaming centered on Japanese arcade stuff, with maybe some Japanese game E-sports, but don't go full LAN party with any games allowed. Add a tabletop room, but don't let just any American/US game be there, try to introduce attendees to specific Japan-associated games, like hanafuda, kabufuda, or karuta-based games, and the few translated Japan TTRPGs. The point is, CRX is a con where attendees are funneled towards learning new things about Japan's entertainment industry, through industry professionals, and to experience new anime. Don't let things non-central to that take up too much air. Again, the vast majority of people weren't attending that feedback panel exactly because they were enjoying all of the central content of the con, so the people complaining about the con not being about other stuff, trying to turn CRX into other cons, were atypical attendees. 3. On that note, I was very impressed by the breadth of industry aspects showcased. Previous cons tended to be actor-focused, both in guests and in which panels were popular with attendees. Thanks to work by sakuga enthusiasts, especially the folks behind Sakugabooru, lots of people are paying more attention to technical staff. CRX, too, did a great job making the case to prospective panel attendees why they should be excited to see these guests. The moderators would give the audience context, and the guests themselves would often be just as excited to see the clips of their own work, giving them inspiration for commentary to make, and the live drawings, of course, were just great. Major kudos to the moderators, in general. You could tell that they were all passionate about their guests, had thought really in-depth about the questions to ask, and they often had a nice chemistry with the guests, which helped bring out some less stiff answers than might be expected. (Translator quality varied as usual, but I know that the guests are usually bringing their own, and not something CRX can control. And there were certainly some stellar translators there, too.) But yeah, breadth. There were directors, producers, animators/storyboarders/character designers, mangaka, all sharing their special insights, and I was very pleased by how much music content there was, as someone who tends towards that part of the industry. The only aspect that was arguably underrepresented would be writers (script writing/series composition for shows, or LN authors). 4. I was also very impressed by the scheduling. Guests were almost all slotted for 2-3 events, and events overlapped so that if I missed a particular guest on one day, I could catch them at another event at least once on another day. As with the previous point, the way the breadth was overlapped was that even if I attended all of the music-related panels, I was still attending panels for all of the other aspects of the anime creation process throughout the day. Very excellent scheduling. The only panels that I missed (weeping for missing Junji Ito's kitties) were because I let my guard down after Friday, and didn't camp for some events that ended up full room. And even then, those few panels probably didn't need insane amounts of camping, either, just 15-30 mins. That's a heavenly amount of camping, when I'm used to having to block in 2 hours before anything I want to attend, at other cons. Thanks very much for the large capacities afforded to every panel. 5. Criticism: screenings, of all things, should not ever go off schedule. Panels, I can understand, because panellists might run late, but there's no reason for a screening to start late, unless there was technical difficulties. I had scheduled a particular screening which would end 15 minutes before the next panel I would attend. Instead, the screening started over 15 minutes late, and I missed a good chunk of the end because I had to leave for that other panel. Luckily this screening was for something already released in the US, so I'll be able to finish the movie, but there were a few unique premiere screenings at the con, and that room being off schedule could have soured other attendees' experiences a lot more than it did mine. 6. Minor criticism: The app wasn't accessible on my phone. I was able to get by with internet, as new schedule content was added on the website as well (and thank you for that!), but I wouldn't get updated time stamps as the app users did. Please don't assume that everyone has the newest OSes when writing the app in the future. My phone isn't even that old, only a couple of years. On that note, I wasn't thrilled with the format of the schedule. With the way everything overlapped in offset intervals, sometimes it wasn't obvious where events in different locations were in relation to each other, and I did miss some panel content once because I had misread the time, due to how the single-column scrolling obscured the amount of overlapping. The location filters do nothing to help with that. I understand that a traditional spreadsheet timetable (location columns, timestamp rows) isn't sexy aesthetics, and has very unsexy horizontal scrolling in a smartphone context, but that's actually where the oversized newspaper con guide could shine, or in a traditional booklet, a foldout insert. (Btw, I thought that the newpaper con guide was fine. It gives more space and bigger font size for reading accessibility, and was likely cheaper to print and assemble than a booklet, which needs glossy paper, more pages, stiffer folding, and required stapling.) 7. Very minor criticism that CRX may not be to control: as said before, I tended towards the music content of the con, but only Flow had their music on sale at the con. So there would be all of these artists promoting their work, and I'd be fired up about them after their panels...but there would be nowhere in the con for me to throw money at them. I understand that bringing stuff to sell is on the artists, but maybe coordinate some sort of "music guest merch" table somewhere, so that the logistics burden for selling products is lowered for all of them? Anime NYC did it for their Anisong Matsuri lineup last year, where there was a single merch table, manned by a few cashiers for all of the artists there, so that each artist didn't have to provide their own sales staff, and shipping costs of importing the stuff was also reduced because of consolidation. Even for artists who don't have physical CDs, they could do something like sell a code to redeem the purchase later. But yeah, overall, I had a great time at the con! I learned a lot, laughed a lot, danced a lot, and what more can you ask for?

[hoard-of-plushes]

RE-MENT POKEMON FLORAL CUP COLLECTION REVIEW 

These just arrived in my mail today, I finished opening them and displaying them a few minutes ago. I’ve never done a review like this before and I’d like your input in weather you’d want to see something like this in the future or not. Before I start, I’d like to say I wanted to do this sooner, since I ordered this back in August 28th, but because of the typhoon “Kong-rey” hitting Japan my package got delayed two months. It’s really nobody’s fault, but I’m still glad I got my package all in one piece. Now let’s get onto the review...

This is the first ever Re-meant set I’ve ever bought, I preordered this for a cheap price and though the package was delayed two months it did arrive brand new. I like the display and the cute pastel packaging, I also like the colors chosen for the figures. The lineup of Pokemon is what you’d expect: Pikachu, Eevee, Mew, you see these Pokemon a lot. I was surprised Dewgong was in the set since it’s such an obscure Pokemon, but I like the diversity of Pokemon and Dewgong is really cute.

Now for the construction of the figures, it’s... not the best if I’ll be honest. You can’t pick these things up without them falling into a million pieces. The flowers don’t fix onto any sort of pegs, you just sort of place them in the cups. The only exception is Mew which is probably the most stable one out of the bunch. This is not a figure set you want to move around a lot, this is something you stick on a shelf and leave there.

 While I did say earlier I liked the colors of the figures in this set, I don’t like the paint job that was given to them. The worst ones to suffer from a bad paint job are Pikachu and Vulpix. You can’t tell from the pictures I took, but the brown on Pikachu’s tail isn’t painted on well and there’s a drop of brown paint on Pikachu’s tail left from the painting process. If you had a keen eye, you may have seen the brown spots on Vulpix, which you can see on the first and last pictures. Someone did not do their job well when painting these, they left obvious paint marks on Vulpix body and called it a day.

Usually Re-ment items are expensive but high quality, and yes I do like the design of the figures, they’re not high quality and I was really disappointed with the paint job and the flimsiness of the figures.

I would gives these maybe a 7/10 or a 6.5/10, they’re good looking figures but their production isn’t that good. Let me know if this review was good and if you would like more of these in the future!