#last night i was the dd and they made me cry on the way home ☹️ not very christmas spirit-y if you ask me

[wayward-sherlock]

sigh. it’s christmas eve eve

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

The One Rule (Part 1)

AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 4. Betrayal, 19. "Why Wasn't I Enough?", 31. Crying, Alt 7. Disowned by Family, Alt 13. Grief Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, f!Reader Summary: Jake has made some bad mistakes in the past, but nothing compared to this. Now he has to go home and face the consequences of his actions. He only hopes you'll be able to forgive him. Word Count: 5616 TW: Spousal Cheating, Arguing, Kicking Out of House, Mention of Divorce, Parents Splitting Up, Punch Thrown, Language Notes: Thank you to @loverhymeswith for beta reading this for me! This is for @ailesswhumptober's event

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

Jake stood outside the fence and just stared at his house. By this time of morning, you would have already cleaned up the mess from breakfast and would be tidying up around the house as you enjoyed the few hours of alone time you got every Monday. The thought of you carefreely going about with your usual routine, probably dancing or singing to yourself as you always did, made the ache in his chest that much worse. 

Last night, he had screwed up. Bad. As in so bad he might have just destroyed his life as he knew it. And while a huge part of him wanted to keep it a secret in the hopes that you would never find out, he knew that telling you was the only way he stood a chance of making this right. Besides, if you ever somehow found out later what he did and that he had lied about it, there would be absolutely no coming back from that. 

So, taking a deep breath, he opened the gate and walked towards his house. As he began to climb the steps of his porch, it felt as if he were climbing the gallows to his impending execution— an irony that was in no way lost on him. After all these years of being branded with the name, he really was about to be the hanged man.

He had given his keys to Rooster the night before since he was supposed to be the DD, so Jake fished around in the potted plant next to the door until he found the spare key. He unlocked the front door and braced himself for what came next. 

Walking into the house, he didn’t see signs of anyone. However, your car had been parked in the driveway so hesitantly, he called out, “I’m home.” 

There was no response for a moment, but then you came walking out of the laundry room balancing a freshly folded basket of towels on your hip. You must not have heard him over whatever you were listening to because you were bopping your head and swaying to music only you could hear from your headphones. You started slightly when you noticed him standing in the living room, but then a bright smile spread across your face.

“Oh hi, honey. You scared me there for a minute. I wasn’t expecting anyone for another few hours.” You slipped off your earphones and laid them in the basket, the music still softly trickling out of them, as you walked over to him. After planting a warm kiss on his cheek, you resumed your walk back towards the linen closet. Over your shoulder, you called, “I got a little nervous when I didn’t hear from you anymore last night after that text saying you made it back to town. But when you didn’t come home, I talked to Bob and he said you all went out for drinks and you were pretty trashed when he left the bar. Did you stay with Javy, Bradley, or Nat this time?”

Jake didn’t know what to say. He just stood there silently opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the kindest way to break your heart. But of course, there was none.

You finished putting the towels away and came back over to where he was standing. When he just continued to gape at you, your smile dropped into a concerned frown. “You okay, Jakey? You look like you’re going to be sick. And not in your usual hungover way.” You pressed the back of your hand against his forehead. “Did something happen last night?”

It was now or never. 

Removing your hand from his head, he gave it one last tight squeeze before he gestured to the nearby couch. “Sweetheart… why don’t you have a seat.”

“Okay…,” you said slowly but did as he asked. Once seated, you looked at him with eager anticipation. “What’s up?”

How could he tell you? How could he blow up both of your lives as you gazed at him so lovingly, oblivious to the bomb he was about to drop on you? But then again, he already set the bomb off last night when he went home with someone else. There was no stopping it or taking it back. All he could do was sit here and watch the destruction unfold. 

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the armchair across from the couch and sank down into it. “Well, we all went to the bar after we made it back stateside last night and we started drinking. I had a few— a lot of shots of some new thing they had and there must have been more alcohol in them than I realized because I got really wasted.”

“Yeah, what else is new?” you scoffed but Jake could hear the nervous edge in your voice. You knew something was wrong and deep down, you probably knew what it was, but you wouldn’t let yourself believe it until Jake said the words. “But like I said, Bob already told me that.”

“Bob wanted to get home so he left early, that I remember. But right after that, I–I blacked out. And I don’t…. I don’t know. I guess the rest of the guys left or didn’t see me or something because they usually stop me–” He snapped his mouth shut as he realized he was probably telling you more than he meant to but he was so afraid of what would happen next that he was rambling a bit. 

“So you were blackout drunk, everyone else had left, and you didn’t come home last night,” you said flatly as you leaned back into the couch, your arms crossing over your chest. “Got it. I can connect those dots.”

Jake swallowed, trying to keep down the bile that was burning in his throat. Besides the aftereffects of his drinking last night, the cold, empty veil that had fallen over your eyes as you looked at him made his stomach churn. “I swear, sweetheart, I would never normally do anything like this but I was just so drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, one second I’m talking to this girl by the pool table and the next I was waking up in her bed this morning.”

“But you’re sure–”

“Yeah.” Jake nodded, his eyes dropping to focus on the hardwood floor. “A few flashes of the night came back to me on the way home. It was enough to get a pretty good idea of what we did. But I’m so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you like this and just the thought of what I did makes me want to be sick. I never imagined those drinks would hit me that hard or I would have stopped after the second or third one. That isn’t an excuse for what I did but maybe an explanation for why it happened? I don’t know. I wish I could take the whole night back and make it so it never happened. I’m just so sorry.”

He slowly lifted his eyes from the floor as he braced himself for the fury of your response. Yet as he waited for you to react in some way, you didn’t say a word. You just continued to stare straight ahead with that same blank indifference as if in a trance, not even really at him but more at the wall just above his head. However, when he reached out to touch your arm, you suddenly stood up and walked calmly into the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind you.

Jake had expected screaming and cursing. He had expected tears and sobs of disbelief. But he had never imagined this total lack of a reaction. Maybe it hadn’t hit you yet. Maybe the words were settling in and the explosion would come later. Part of him wondered if he should follow you into the bedroom to continue to beg for your forgiveness. He went up to the door and pressed his ear against it as he rested his hand on the doorknob. He could hear some slight rustling and moving around, but it didn’t sound like you were crying or yelling or really making any noise at all.

After a moment, Jake decided it was better to leave you alone for now to try and wrap your head around everything he told you. So, he quietly backed away from the door and retreated to the kitchen where he got himself a glass of water and a few aspirin. His massive hangover was the cherry on top of this shit-tastic sundae the last 12 hours had become. He just hoped he was clear-headed enough to face you when you eventually emerged from the bedroom. 

That moment finally came about an hour later when the door opened and you walked out carrying his old duffle bag. You strode past him to the front door, opened it wide, and threw the duffle bag out onto the porch before turning back towards him. In a calm, level voice, you said, “Here’s enough stuff to last you for the week. See if Javy or Bradley can help you get the rest of your things this weekend but until then I better not see you in this house.”

As you walked back towards the kitchen, he reached out to grab your arm but you jerked it away. “Sweethear–”

“No, Jake. You knew the rules since our first date.” You had turned back to face him, trapping Jake between you and the still-open front door. “I have never said a word about your cockiness, or your asshole behavior towards others, or your need to always be in control. I accepted the fact you would be gone for months at a time on deployments or missions with little to no contact. And I never once said a word about how late you stay out with your friends or how often they have to carry your drunk ass home. But the one thing I have said from the very beginning is that if you ever cheat on me, we are done. Period.”

“I was drunk. I didn’t–”

“I don’t care. That’s not an excuse and you know it. Now, get out of my house.”

“Our house.”

“My house,” you said firmly yet still void of any emotion. “You gave up the right to it when you climbed into some other woman’s bed.” 

Jake retreated into himself a bit at that. “I said, I screwed up. It was one time and it was the worst mistake of my life. I’m not asking for you to be okay with this, but please let’s just talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You broke your vows which shows how little our marriage means to you. So, we are done. End of story.” And as if to accentuate your point, you turned your back to him.

Now Jake was getting mad. Yes, he messed up, in a way that was potentially inexcusable, but you weren’t being reasonable or giving him a chance to explain. He had been blackout drunk. There was no way he would have ever done something like that when he was sober and you knew that. Yet you were standing there with your stone-cold gaze and your calm, unemotional tone demanding he leave. Maybe you were the one showing how little this marriage meant if you couldn’t even be bothered to react to this information. If you could shut off your emotions and feelings for him so quickly, maybe they weren’t that strong to begin with.

And while you might be willing to chuck him to the curb without a second thought, there was someone else who would be devastated if he were forced to move out. 

“What about Ellie?” he demanded. “You can’t keep me away from my daughter.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

“Just watch me,” you hissed as you whirled around and jammed your finger harshly into his chest. The cold indifference you had been showing up to this point was gone and your words dripped with a venomous fury.  “It was taking everything in me to remain calm just long enough to watch your sorry ass walk out that door, but how dare you bring her into this! Not when you didn’t give her a second thought before destroying her family.” 

The veil had lifted from your eyes and Jake cowered back as he was met with the full force of your maternal outrage. “Do you know she begged me to let her stay up for you last night because you promised you’d be home, but I made her go to bed because I knew the truth. That you’d rather go out drinking than come home to tuck your daughter in after not seeing her for two weeks. Your four-year-old daughter who thinks her daddy hung the moon. If only she knew who you really were. But I am going to make sure you can’t shatter her heart like you just shattered mine. Now… Get. Out.” 

As you took another step forward, your finger still firmly on his chest, he stumbled back over the threshold of the front door. He might have caught himself if he hadn’t tripped on the duffle bag you had tossed out moments before. He landed hard on his ass, barely able to soften the fall by throwing his hands out behind him.

He gazed up at you from his awkward heap on the ground as you stood framed in the doorway. For just a second, it wasn’t anger nor indifference Jake saw staring back at him. It was pain. A level of pain and betrayal he had never seen in another person, as if your entire body would shatter if touched with even the slightest of breezes. And it was only then that Jake truly realized how royally he had fucked up.

But then the veil fell over your face once more. In that same indifferent tone, you said, “Don’t you dare come back.” Then you shut the door and he heard the deadbolt slide shut.

Today was Thursday. Thursday meant you needed to take the trash out to the road. It meant Ellie had her appointment at the dentist’s to get her teeth cleaned. It meant the ads changed at the store and that fancy ice cream you loved might finally be on sale.

Today was Thursday. Thursday meant this was the third morning you had woken up alone after your so-called “love of your life” had admitted to the ultimate betrayal and you had thrown him out. 

You were used to waking up alone. He was gone so often for work, it seemed like you were alone more than together. But this felt different. Usually, there was that faint aura of fear for his safety mixed with the excitement of counting down the days until he came home. But now, there was only the constant ache in your chest where your heart used to be and the throbbing pain in your head from trying to hold back your tears.

Because it hurt. Oh god, did it hurt. But you didn’t have the luxury of falling apart or feeling sorry for yourself because you weren’t the only other person mixed up in this situation. The one saving grace you were holding on to was that on Monday when everything had gone down, Ellie was with your mom on their weekly playdate. You had no idea what you would have done if she had been there or returned just afterward. How could you have explained why her dad only came home for less than two hours before leaving again, this time with an armful of stuff? Or why you were sobbing in a heap in the middle of the hall? 

But her temporary absence didn’t make her return home and immediate questions about where Daddy was any easier. Thankfully, your mom noticed the tears that sprung to your eyes and how your lip instantly began to quiver so she ushered Ellie upstairs to her room as quickly as she could. Then once she had gotten her to lay down for her afternoon nap, she came back down and held you as you told her everything and fell apart in her arms. You knew your parents never really liked your husband, but you doubted even they would have predicted he would do something like this. Then again… maybe they would have.

He was a jackass, through and through. You knew that from the moment you laid eyes on him in a bar just after you graduated college. And yet, he could also be sweet and charming and thoughtful. And he loved you, even now you didn’t doubt that. But he also loved to drink and party and flirt like he was still 24 and single. You just thought he loved you and Ellie more than that but you guess you were wrong. He loved himself more than he loved his family and now you would never let yourself forget that.

About an hour after you had thrown him out, he had tried calling you over and over and over and over. Each time you sent him to voicemail, he left a long, heartfelt message full of love, plans for change, and pleas for forgiveness. And once he finished recording his message, he would immediately call again and repeat the cycle trying to get through to you.

You blocked his number after the seventh call—one for every year the two of you had been together.

Since then, there had been nothing. You had expected a call or at least a text from some of the Daggers, but it had been radio silence from them. By now, most of them had to know what happened but if they did, they made no effort to reach out and see if you and Ellie were alright. There hadn’t even been an attempt to get you to change your mind and take him back. 

That was until this afternoon.

As you were scrolling through reviews of divorce lawyers while Ellie napped upstairs, you noticed a familiar jeep pull up outside out of the corner of your eye and you froze. You expected Javy to come by this weekend to help pack up the rest of the stuff that needed to go, but that was still a few days away. You planned on taking Ellie and going to the park and lunch so you both weren’t at the house when they came so this was not part of your plan. 

As you saw Javy climbing out, you put your laptop down and hurried over to the front door. You reached it just as you heard footsteps coming up the porch steps. Pressing your cheek against the door, you hollered, “I told him not to come back until the weekend.”

“It’s just me,” Javy’s muffled voice came through the wood. “I promise, I just want to talk and see how you’re doing.”

You leaned heavily against the door as you mulled over what to do. You hadn’t seen anyone but Javy get out of the jeep and while he was your husband’s best friend, the two of you were also close enough that you couldn’t imagine him trying to help anyone sneak into the house against your wishes. So, taking a deep breath, you slid the chain off the door and opened it.

Javy tried to step forward but you shook your head and stepped outside, closing the door behind you. “Ellie’s asleep upstairs and I don’t want to wake her. Whatever you have to say, you can say out here.”

“Fair enough.”Javy took a few steps back to give you a little more space, stopping just on the edge of the porch near the steps. Shifting slightly from foot to foot, he rubbed the back of his neck as he muttered, “I’m sorry about what happened. I still can’t believe it—any of it. You two always seemed so solid.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Yeah, we were…. when we were together. But that’s the problem. When I’m not there to hold his leash and remind him he’s already taken, he goes wild. But you already know that, don’t you?” Javy began to squirm even more under your gaze. You scoffed, “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

Taking a few steps forward to shorten the distance between you, you said, “I’m going to ask you a question, and I need you to answer me with 100% honesty, no matter how much the answer might hurt me. Do you understand?” Javy slowly nodded, his eyes locked firmly onto yours. “Has he done this before?”

Javy vigorously shook his head. “No, never, I swear. And you know he would tell me if it did.”

“But he’s tried to, hasn’t he? He mentioned something about you guys ‘usually stopping him’ which sure sounds like he would have done this a long time ago if he hadn’t had his friends there for him. But then that makes me wonder, how far has he gone before he was stopped? Has he ever kissed another woman? Gotten to second base? Third?”

“No! He didn’t…I mean, h-he…,” Javy sighed in defeat as he hung his head. Without looking at you, he mumbled, “As far as I know, he never made it that far.”

You nodded softly to yourself as you processed this information. Then you hauled back and punched Javy in the face. 

While you weren’t particularly strong, the Naval pilot stumbled back, tripping down the porch steps as he clutched his nose. He looked back up at you, shock and confusion filling his watery eyes. Out of all of the Daggers, Javy knew you the best and had even developed a close friendship with you. Because of that, he was also the only one who knew there was a fierce, unshakable side to you behind your usual laissez-faire, pushover housewife facade. But you bet not even he would have expected you to punch someone, let alone him. 

Yet that was just the start of your fury. Shaking out the pain in your hand, you screamed, “You should have told me! I could have eventually gotten over his drunk ass kissing a girl or two, maybe even going a little further. Yeah, it would have hurt like hell and we would have needed time, but we could have gotten past it. Got counseling or–or help or I don’t know! But now he’s gone and ruined everything and you could have done something to stop it!”

Javy tried to explain. “I know. I’m sorry, I tried. But you know how he gets. I thought it was all just harmless flirting. I never imagined he’d go this far. I thought about telling you a hundred times, but I was just trying to protect my friend.”

“And what about me? I thought I was your friend too. Or you know what, screw that! How about protecting your goddaughter, hm?” You pointed at the house where you knew Ellie was up in her room fast asleep and oblivious to the drama raging outside. “That little girl in there who is now asking me every day where her daddy is and when he’s coming home. Who’s protecting her when I have to finally figure out some form of the truth she’ll understand and she… and she hates me because of it.” 

Your voice broke on the last part but you swallowed your tears and kept going. “How do I tell her I’m the one not letting him come home when I can’t tell her why not? How do I break my baby’s heart all because he…he—” All the fight went out of you as quickly as it had appeared. With a loud wail, you crumpled to your knees and buried your face in your hands as sobs wracked your body.

It was the real reason you had been putting off telling Ellie that her dad wasn’t coming home. She adored Jake—was a complete daddy’s girl—and you knew this news was going to devastate and confuse her. Your daughter might be advanced for her age, but no four-year-old understands infidelity or cheating no matter how smart they are (and they shouldn’t). Which meant whatever you said would boil down to some form of “Mama won’t let him” and the thought of how that would destroy your relationship with the person you loved most in this world was unbearable. Your husband was the one who broke your family and yet you were going to be the one who was blamed. 

As you knelt there on the front porch of the home that was now just a reminder of all the plans and dreams that would never be, sobbing and snotting loudly for the whole neighborhood to see, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and began to draw you in. You tried weakly to struggle against them, but it was a fruitless effort. Finally, you gave up and threw yourself fully into Javy’s embrace. You buried your face into his chest as his arms held you tight, his hand rubbing soothing circles across your trembling back. 

Through the sobs, you managed to choke out, “I-It just hurts so much, Javy. I don’t know how to keep myself from falling a-apart. Even thinking about him or saying his name is like a knife in my heart and every time, a little more of me gets cut out and replaced by more pain. I don’t even know what’s le-left.”

Javy pulled you in tighter, his face pressed against yours so as he whispered, his lips brushed against your ear. “I’m so sorry. I know it hurts, but I know you and you’re strong enough to get through this. And the rest of the Daggers and I will be right here beside you. It’ll be okay. I promise. ”

Maybe it was because it was coming from someone other than your parents, or because of the warm, trustworthy aura that always radiated from Javy, but for the first time in days, you actually believed that might be the case. You had been so afraid all of the Navy aviators would turn against you or take his side instead. It was a fear that had been nagging at the very back of your mind but you had been too afraid to really consider it. Since moving to California, you hadn’t really had a chance to make many friends outside of the Daggers and you didn’t know how to deal with any of this if you lost them too. But if what Javy said was true and they would stick beside you, maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they seemed.

Despite this revelation, it still took another ten or so minutes for you to stop crying. But when you did, you continued to lay curled up in Javy’s arms and mumbled, “I’m sorry I punched you. I know this isn’t your fault. I think I’ve just been looking for someone to hit since he told me and you were the first person I’ve really seen besides my parents and I wasn’t going to punch them.”

You felt Javy chuckle softly beneath you. “It’s okay. You got a mean right hook, but I did deserve it. I should have told you what he was doing a long time ago.” You flinched at yet another confirmation that your marriage had been broken for longer than you wanted to admit. “I just… I didn’t want to believe he would actually take things this far. I really thought he would stop himself even if no one was around to step in and do it for him.”

“I wasn’t blind when I chose to be with him. I knew his faults and I knew what I was agreeing to. That’s why I never once tried to change him or make him stop doing what he wanted. And in return, I asked for one fucking thing and he couldn’t give that to me. I just…. I don’t why I wasn’t enough for him.” You shook your head. “I don’t know. Maybe I was blind after all and I should have just thrown my drink in his face that first night we met and walked away.”

“Maybe you should have… but then you wouldn’t have Ellie and I know you wouldn’t trade her even if it meant avoiding this pain.”

You shook your head again as you buried your face in Javy’s neck. “You’re right. Our little girl is the one thing I don’t regret about our relationship and she makes all the rest of this worth it.”

“See? Just keep holding onto that, okay?” You nodded again as Javy gently took your shoulders and pushed you back so he could look at you at arm’s length. Then brushing the tears from your face, he said, “And I’ll be there to help you tell her about all of this. You didn’t do anything wrong here and you shouldn’t have to do that alone or take the blame for it. We’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks, Jav. And I know you’re still going to be his friend and help him through this.” Javy started to say something but you held up your hand to stop him. “No, it’s alright. He needs someone to lean on right now and it should be you. And I’m not asking you to choose sides. I don’t want you to feel like it’s either him or me and Ellie. You will always be welcome here if you want, along with the rest of the Daggers. But please, don’t try to talk me out of this. Don’t ask me to take him back.”

“No, don’t worry,” Javy promised. “I’m not gonna do that. Maybe someday, but not today. Not until he straightens out, works on himself, and becomes the man you girls deserve…the man I thought he was.”

“I guess we were both wrong about him.” Javy pulled you back into his arms and you closed your eyes.

Maybe Javy was right and he would eventually get help and become the person you and Ellie needed. Or maybe he would realize he liked the single life more than he ever liked being a family man. Or maybe he would just drink himself to death in a bar somewhere. Only time would tell.

But regardless of what he did, you knew you were going to be alright. It would suck for a very long time but eventually, you would find a way to start over again and make the life you wanted— even if it wasn’t the way you had always planned. 

Suddenly, the front door opened, and a very sleepy-looking face peered out from inside. You scampered out of Javy’s lap and onto your feet. As you hurried to her side, Ellie rubbed her eyes with one tiny fist as she looked up at you and you asked, “Hey, baby. Is everything okay?”

“I’m thirsty,” she mumbled. 

You scooped her up into your arms and balanced her one hip. “Okay, why don’t we get you a glass of water then you can finish your nap?”

She nodded, rubbing her eyes again. But then her little brow furrowed as she stared at you closer. Reaching out, she brushed her hand across your damp face as she asked, “Why are you crying, Mama? Did you get a boo-boo?”

Brushing the hair from her face, you said, “Yeah, baby. I got a boo-boo.”

Without hesitating, Ellie leaned forward and placed a big, exaggerated kiss on both of your cheeks. Then grinning proudly, she said, “There! I kissed it and made it all better!”

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes once more and you squeezed Ellie tightly in an enormous hug. “Thank you, El. You really do make it feel better.” 

You held her like that as long as you could, but once she began to squirm in your grasp, you loosened your grip on her so she was just once more lightly balanced on your hip. Booping her nose with your free hand, you asked, “How about instead of your nap, we get you that water and maybe if you ask nicely, Uncle Javy will play dress-up with you. What do you think?”

Her little face lit up with joy. “Yeah!” Turning to Javy, she asked, “Please, Uncle ‘Avy?”

Uncle “Avy” quickly shot you a look that you pretended to look innocent at before he smiled at Ellie. “Okay, but only if I can be the princess this time. It’s not fair I’m always stuck being the fairy.”

Ellie pouted slightly, but she gave a huge sigh and said, “I guess.”

Javy’s grin grew wider and he pumped his fist. “Sweet! Then let’s go! I’ll race you upstairs while your mom gets your drink.”

You put Ellie down as she tried wiggling out of your grasp and she hurried inside and up the stairs as fast as her little legs would carry her. As he followed behind her in a mock run, Javy squeezed your arm as he passed and gave you a quick smile. Then he disappeared inside after Ellie.

Watching them go, you took a deep breath as a wave of peace washed over you. Yes, you might not get the life you had been planning, but you could already start to see making a pretty good life out of what you still had. 

And with that, you followed your daughter and your friend inside and shut the door behind you. 

I have a potential idea for a Part 2 if anyone is interested (though it may not go the way you are expecting....)

Update, it looks like I'm going to start working on Part 2!

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[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[djhinnwe]

I really like this answer.

Personally, I really took the whole "circle of life" from The Lion King really seriously as a kid. ("We borrow from our children" also hit home the first time I heard the quote)

OP, you are absolutely not deranged for asking. Your fears are valid and common, especially if you have no one to talk to about it. But on this particular fear, I'd encourage you to explore it. When I was around your age, I ended up studying different beliefs around death and the kind of afterlife various cultures had. I still find out new things now. I found it helped, but I also know that dealing with death and grief is hugely personal, so it might not.

Does your family deal with grief the same way? Shove it down and pretend it didn't happen? Sometimes, often plays a huge influence on how children deal.

I don't know if hearing others' stories will help, but I have a few stories of my own experiences under the cut.

I learned about death fairly young as well, in the form of a cat named Whiskers. I think I was 7/8 when she disappeared (presumably eaten by coyotes or an owl).

The next one I remember is my riding lesson coach when I was 12. She drowned when her DD of the night drank without telling anyone and careened off the road into the lake (it would be another 20yrs before the province finally installed barriers. Pretty sure I lost at least 2 more people to the lake in that time). That one still affects me to this day as she and her barn was my safe space and the rest of my childhood felt safe only for 2 weeks a year after my parents found the right riding camp for me (which took a few years).

After that, it was my grandad (dad's dad), but while I mourned him, I didn't really know him. I can't find his obituary. Nor can I find my nana's obituary, who passed at the start of the pandemic (I like to imagine she thought "one pandemic was enough" in deciding to die a month before her 100th, my last cat thought the same and passed around the same time).

Most recently, I learned my childhood neighbour, an old Serb named Dan with a love of life passed last year. I have been looking for his obituary on and off for years as the last time I saw him, he was developing alzheimers and his wife was already deep into it. I remember Betty crying because she hadn't felt at home in the apartment they had moved into until I showed up for a surprise visit. I'd come home to visit and found out they moved, so I made my mom hunt them down so I could visit. I'm glad it was the last gift I could give to Betty. But back to Dan, his obituary hit me hard. I sobbed for 2hrs last night after reading it and I feel guilty that I don't have connections to their kids because I would have loved to have attended both of their funerals. But then the only funeral I've ever attended of a relative has been my biological grandmother's who passed last month, so... it tracks.

Anyway, Dan was insistent on giving my family his photographs, and my parents gave me most of them... They were a gift then and hold special memories that I can reflect on now.

He taught me lessons about life that helped shape some of my core beliefs. One of which there is beauty in everything. Even death.

I have many other stories about people I've loved who past. These are simply the ones I happened to think of in the moment.

this may come off very blunt and out of the blue, but i need an answer and i can't ask anyone i know, so i apologise profusely if you find this derogatory in any way possible.

i'm 14 and i found out what death means when i was 3 and living with my grandparents. i figured that when someone dies, you can't see them anymore. you can't talk to them, you can't laugh with them. they aren't there anymore. and i cried. i cried so hard i vomited.

ever since i've struggled to think about death and what lies beyond. i'm scared. of growing up, of dying, of seeing people around me die. and i don't know what to do.

i know this will likely get lost among the hundreds of thousands of asks in you inbox, but if by fate you read this, please tell me

how does it feel when someone you know dies?

hank you, and i apologise once again if this is disrespectful. i know it's a pretty deranged thing to ask, especially to a well-known writer who has gone through life. i'm sorry if this brings up sad memories, but i need an answer.

all the best to you and everyone around you, mr neil.

Mostly it feels terrible. It even feels terrible when it’s someone who has been in a lot of pain for a long time or has not really been there for a long time and you know that Death has in some ways been a blessing: suddenly you are mourning the whole person.

It doesn’t get easier as you age. It gets stranger. The point where you realise how many people you used to know and like who aren’t there any longer, and you cannot talk to them or see them or laugh with them is painful in a way that I had never expected. The first time that someone you had a romantic relationship with dies and you realise that there had been moments both of you shared and now you are the sole custodian of those moments and one day you will be gone and they will be lost forever is peculiarly strange and hard.

But there is a comfort. And it’s the realisation that you aren’t alone in any of this. Everybody who lives will die. And we are here and doing things because other people died to make room for us, and we in our turn will die to make room for our children and their children and on and on.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.5.23 Tuesday

4:27 am

I'm home, still have windblow trap angels...

Whew! Not that confident on this job but I hope they will give a consideration of taking time or as time goes by... But this is really a challenge for me...

Well, the learning documents are somehow will flow in circular pattern meaning they made it difficult and a lil complicated... It seems created by a set of lawyers...

I feel panicky and I still need a back-up...This is a challenge for me now coz I needed money.

Champi was somehow arrogant as well as the new girl named Ana but they are nice but a lil arrogant... But Champi was a bit arrogant awhile ago for saying that " not all people are fast learners and not all are having fast brain nerves"... For me you don't have to verbalize it... It sounds kinda airy.... It wasn't good to hear but as educated person you're not going to add some comment to make a fire...

I'm there to work, I'm ohkay with everyone of wave 468 but my friend is Mia...

You can't please everyone to accept you but be a mature living being there to work...

I have windblow trap angels... Hoping to relax my mind and absorb everything coz we can't access the prodouct documents only inside the work location unlike in pharmaceuticals you can have a copy of the entire medicines or list of medicines that you have to memorize as well...

I still feel fat,old and wrinkled....I need to keep this job in Iqor... I hope I can do my abs later...

Coach Gian will be our main coach all through out, I'm cool of it and just chill coz he is calm and nice...

I need to familiarize the different cases of navigating tools...

5:25 pm

There is more later....Goodnight angels...

10:26 am

Still having windblow trap? Trap?

Cooking porridge for our Neko the rottweiler... I need ingredients and I wanna cry... Uncle DD is not yet giving his assistance on Neko...

Let'z go back to what happened last night... I don't wanna appear arrogant but it is the way of people in Manila, I was once a medical representative I passed the exams it was really difficult and hard those days... I was with Pan Pharma it was a "french company", the daughter's owner of that company was so nice from Ateneo and we were mostly from De La Salle...

During my time in Pan Pharma I was with different workmates like an older man who was starting again that time that he was our supervisor but of course since he was older than us, we never commented but he was on the field for so many years but he had a hard time on the paper exams... But on the field he was really a skillful medrep...

There was a PT graduate as well, I was 24 that time and that PT graduate was around 35 years old in our time as med rep, that woman had a hard time to blend with us coz she was older than us already... But me as a younger employee I never commented a negative thing even the other younger women even the other medreps... It is really a matured world angels...

As a medrep I was stand alone but I had a good relationship with everyone but the nature of the job was hellish...You have to go on your own, by yourself only, handle your area on your own... We were somehow friends but on selling and advertising the medicine, you're the only one who can save your ass but I was babyish those days... There are so many medreps in the Philippines...

The exams in Pharmaceutical is fatal hahaha and now I wonder why I resigned??? Yeah! I was a child back then... I got a job,I could easily go in then resigned then I got a job, I could go in again again then I resigned...

In this field in call center it is somehow difficult for me but it is a challenge and a personal journey... I told you angels this is my present blessing and it is the thorn on the roses that makes me bleed but I love to beat it...

I just wonder who made those documents it seems a killer? But who will they kill? A 21? Or me? Hahaha I don't know...

There is a video on TV that a woman is advertising the company,the surname is "Navarro"... I wonder if they have link on tv...

2:47 pm

It is so relaxing angels to do my abs and sweat out... It removed my down emotions...

Punch on my tummy,I'm in Iqor ( naisisikmura ) but hoping for a genuine intention... If they don't like me or anyone or someone, just be professional... I badly need money and I need to keep this job in Iqor for a long while...

I wanna settle up with someone I find amusing like the foreigner on TV in Iqor if not then I need to keep on working...

Marriage is different,it is a very sensitive topic.

2:52 pm

I'm really into flattening my tummy...

About that particular documents in Iqor that COR or change of responsibility about the deceased on 21 means death??? Who made that documents???

[haleyhunwritingss]

Forget about her (Broken Promises AU!)

Warnings: Dark themes, dark!stucky, dark!wanda, dd/lg

A/N: Okay so this is just an au/drabble and a "what if" situation where Wanda decides she wants reader all to herself. This is NOT the next part of Broken Promises. I was going to post that this week, but I just don't think it's ready yet, so anyways here is a little non-cannon au for you that I wrote 2 hours ago because I couldn't sleep

"Darling, only five minutes more and you're done, no more than that, okay?"

She turned around, smiling and nodding at him before going back to the playground ladder that led up to the slide.

As she made her way to the top of the slide, she looked down and saw Bucky waiting for her at the bottom, beaming up at her with encouragement. She waved at him while returning his smile. She was about to say something to him when she heard a distraught cry from behind her. When she turned around, she saw a boy wailing loudly behind her. At first, she didn't know why, but then she saw his caregiver yelling angrily at him as he walked over to the playground. She flinched at the loud sounds of him yelling and moved further away from the boy.

Bucky grew a little anxious for her as soon as they heard the screaming. He called her name to get her attention, but judging by the look on her face, a panic attack appeared to be on its way, which meant that she was most likely feeling very anxious.

"C'mon princess, you got this. Then we can go home because Dada is starving." His remark made her softly giggle, and she placed herself onto the top of the slide, ready to slide down, but as soon as she looked down, her eyesight began to blur.

"Doll? Are you okay?" She could hear Bucky's voice calling out for her but all she could focus on was stopping the aching waves of excruciating pain running through her head.

You need to leave now. Ask for help. Scream. Cry. Do something. Anything. Please...

No! Stop it! T-they love me! Th-they take c-c-care of me!

No. They don't. Stop believing their lies.

P-please stop it! It hurts! It hurts so much...Please I can't take it anymore...just let me be happy...

I'm trying to protect you. It will hurt so much more if you don't leave now.

Stop it! Stop it! Y-you're hurting me! Stop it!

"Sweetness, stop what?! What's going on?" She noticed her Daddy was crouched down next to her, staring at her with concern in his eyes.

How much did he hear? Did he now believe she was crazy? This was the second time he caught her talking to herself as if there was someone there, but there wasn't.

She looked down, feeling guilty for making him so worried, and noticed that her hands and pants were stained with dried tears. When did she start crying? And why hadn't she stopped crying? There was no doubt that she was the centre of attention for the entire park at the moment.

"P-please make it stop...it h-hurts s-so much...it hurts...I-I-I ca-can't take any more of this please just stop it!"

"Doll, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" Knowing how uncomfortable all this attention was for her, her Dada had walked over to her and picked her up to take her back to the car.

"Is it your head again, sweetheart?" All she could do was nod and let her teary face fall into the crook of his neck. He gave her a small frown before helping her in getting into the backseat. He threw the car keys at Steve before getting in behind her and slamming the car door shut behind him. Steve sighed and climbed into the driver's seat, glancing in the rearview mirror to see Bucky trying his best to comfort their little girl.

"Sweetheart, it'll be okay soon I promise everything will work out."

Steve winced as her cries grew louder, signalling that the pain had only gotten more intense. Where the fuck was Wanda? He'd attempted to call her several times in the last few weeks but had gotten no response. There was one time when he could've sworn he heard her voice coming from his girl's room in the middle of the night, but he chalked it up to sleep deprivation. Is it possible that she was actually there? No, why would she sneak in rather than calling Steve?

"Steve, watch out!" Bucky's voice managed to snap him out of his thoughts, and he quickly veered right when he realized he'd been so entangled in his thoughts that he nearly crashed the car.

Bucky rolled his eyes and muttered a warning before continuing to soothe and comfort his little girl while Steve whispered a hasty apology. Steve breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed that his girl's crying had subsided into quiet sniffles and that the colour of her eyes had changed back from scarlet red to their original colour.

"Alright we're home."

Steve placed his book on the nightstand and sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. Something was going on, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Given how tired he was, he decided that it would be an issue for tomorrow. He leaned over to kiss his partner goodnight when he remembered he was alone and Bucky was asleep on the couch. He couldn't understand why Bucky was so upset with him when all he had done was try to fix his mess. If they both agreed that bringing in Wanda was the best option, how come Steve was taking all the blame?

He grumbled quietly as he stood from his bed to make his way downstairs, but as he walked by his girl's bedroom, he could hear her adoring soft chuckles. The faint glows of dark red energy were oozing out from under the door. He opened the door quietly and spotted Wanda sitting next to his girl, feeding her a bottle and playfully tickling her every now and then. The redheaded woman appeared to have captivated his girl, who was interacting with her in a genuine manner rather than acting falsely polite and obedient with Steve and Bucky. He did notice, though, that her eyes had transformed back to scarlet red. She was under Wanda's control, and his heart wrenched at the notion of her being in anguish as a result of her inability to control her own mind at the time. Maybe Wanda's presence was the explanation for her absence of cries of pain.

"You know it's impolite to stare, Steve." Despite speaking venomously, Wanda didn't avert her gaze from the little girl's beaming face. She mimicked his girl's nose scrunch, which made her giggle and cover her face.

"Wanda, get away from her. I won't ask you again." He moved closer to them, only to be pulled back by a metal arm that held his wrist. He turned to see Bucky standing there, staring at him intently while clutching his wrist hard.

"Don't worry, I didn't need the little red book to control him. However, he may not be the winter soldier again, but if you try to take my baby away from me I can promise you I won't hesitate to bring him back."

Wanda gently slid her off her lap before getting out of bed and lifting her up. Steve was certain that he could feel his heart shattering as he watched his girl firmly clinging to Wanda and resting her head on Wanda's shoulder. Wanda approached him and touched his forehead with her hand.

"It'll be easier if you forget about her. Although, if you promise never to come looking for her, I'll leave those precious memories in place."

"Don't. Don't you dare."

She smiled and moved her hand up to play with his hair gently.

"I won't. And don't worry about James, he'll be okay by tomorrow morning. He won't remember much so you'll have to fill him in on what happened."

"Why are you doing this? You were supposed to help us."

"I did help you. But things have changed since then...I realized I won't be able to get my boys back..." Wanda briefly looked down while attempting to fight back tears.

"So you're taking her instead? What the fu-" Steve groaned as Bucky's foot landed on the back of his knee, cutting him off.

"Forget about her. If you don't then just know that James will pay the price."

And with that she was gone, taking every trace of his girl with her. He couldn't believe he wouldn't be able to see her smile ever again. He couldn't believe how badly he'd fucked up. How would he explain this to Bucky?

[imaginativeamateur]

can you do 30 with kakashi and a fem reader pls 🥺🤲 I love your work and am so happy for you regarding your follower milestone, congrats !!

[Kakashi Hatake X Reader] The Power of Love

|200 Followers Event|

Prompt: 30 — "I mean it."

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x fem!Reader

Note: Aloha, I'm back!!! Thanks for the request and the cheers😝 Okay, this one is AHHH, the title :DD This one is very sentimental but playful at the same time. There's like some serious talk but also entertaining moments, too. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Constant requests that you get married were sent in your way for the past several months. Your parents were tired of having to wait to see you bring a man home, but you had no intention to comply. The topic would come up to the table during dinner every now and then, with your mother furrowing in her brows and your father sighing in distress. On your part, you played cool, soothing them that you just found a guy and dismissing the matter with a feigned grin.

Everything would be ordinary, much to your own liking until your parents secretly signed you up for a match-matching service. You had a big argument that night but they smugly smiled and ensured that you would fall in love with him immediately. It was ridiculous.

“You’d be head over heels in no time, Y/N,” your mother said.

“Like she knows who he is,” you mumbled, scoffing on your way back to your apartment.

Though you completely shut the door to the new romance—the guy that you presumably knew nothing about—you woke up earlier than usual, earlier than you should. You blamed it on your neighbor’s child crying but you discerned that you were being irrational. The whole situation was aberrant. You purposefully threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt that was too worn out for a first date. Still, you could not be any more careless, the last thing you wanted was to get the man to generate some form of adoration for you. You checked yourself in the mirror and made sure that you looked representable nonetheless.

The sun was already high up in the sky when you locked your door and tiredly dropped the keys into your handbag, storming to the destination with angry steps. It was your day off and you could have spent your time on something much more meaningful, training, for example. Kakashi-senpai said you still needed to hone your close combat skills. You pursed your lips at the thought of the Hatake, feeling even more enraged and annoyed. The said Shinobi was a nice guy, he was gentle and mannered with everyone but you. He treated you like his kid, bossing you around, requesting you to dig through the shelves of bookstores to find the limited edition of Icha Icha that was recently published. But you did not quit being his subordinate. Kakashi had everything that you needed to harness, from his skills to knowledge, and you would never let such a golden opportunity go wasted.

Being with him for two long years brought you many benefits and visible improvements, one of them being your patience. You were short-tempered and Kakashi was just the perfect tame to your boiling climate. The silver-haired veteran knew you were cantankerous on some days, like today, when you were having an involuntary sunbathing session, and would always be later than he usually would. Over the drenching months, you grew indifferent to his tardiness, adapted to his peculiar conscience of time, and no longer rambled when he arrived. He would come up with the most bizarre excuses to get away with it, and at first, you were furious about it, but you found them somewhat adorable now.

You smiled, wondering why you were recalling your moments with Kakashi when you were waiting for your date to come. You bit the inner side of your cheek when you realized your patience was running thin—it reminded you of your silver-haired senpai. Releasing a shaky breath, you calmed yourself down, assuring that you would apologize to the man that it was merely a misunderstanding with your parents that they signed you up for today. You rubbed the surface of the table with your fingers and let your thoughts carried you away at the moment, unconsciously drumming the rhythm of your favorite song—his favorite song that you grew accustomed to after years of the very special silver-haired occupying your day.

“You seem nervous.”

Your head perked at the unexpectedly familiar voice, “Kakashi-senpai?”

The silver-haired settled himself in the opposite seat with ease, “Good morning, Y/N.”

“What are you doing here?” You did not bother to greet him back properly due to the tremendous shock being registered into your system.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to… to,” you came to a halt, fumbling with the hem of your shirt when you found it impossible to continue. It was embarrassing.

“Blind date?” He questioned, quirking a brow.

Your cheeks heated up in modesty, unable to answer his beseech.

“That seems like a yes,” Kakashi leaned back, enjoying your flustered state, “I’m here for a blind date, too.”

“A what?”

“A blind date,” he repeated without failing to lose his composure.

It took you several seconds to comprehend the whole situation, then you shifted in your chair, propping your elbows onto the table to hide your blush, “This is such an… interesting encounter. But I won’t change my mind.”

You were fairly absolute with the plan to turn the whole thing down, despite whoever was your date, despite it being Kakashi Hatake. You did not want to risk the bond that took you so long to form with him and the trust that he enlisted you upon. You could not.

“I also came resolute,” he made a simple, yet down-to-earth statement. Kakashi caught your eyes and challenged, “What do you want to do after a coffee date?”

“No,” you jerked away, “what are you saying? Are you okay, senpai?”

“We’re on a date and you still call me senpai?”

“Look, we’re not going to do this, we can’t, Kakashi,” you tried to explain but to no avail.

The silver-haired smugly smiled, “Good, Kakashi sounds much nicer.”

“I’m not joking,” you cleared your throat and glared at him.

“Neither am I, Y/N. I mean it.”

Your lips fell apart as the coherence in your mind shattered into bits and pieces. Kakashi silently observed the fleeting expressions that you made, waiting for your response.

“I don’t know,” you stuttered. You knew who Kakashi was and the tragedy of your occupation. The two of you did not deserve anyone’s love, for once that you held the chance of breaking their heart. You looked away from his eyes to conceal the wavering of your emotions, “I never thought about life in that way. I don’t need a man in my life, that’s what I’d like to believe. I don’t want anyone to feel battered when I’m gone.”

“I hate it to see those I love cry and mourn, too,” he mumbled. You listened attentively as though it was yourself confessing to the dark. Kakashi continued, “I only live for a certain amount of time but I have been constantly filling it with despair and loneliness. There were things that I want to do and people that I want to love, but because of my fear of hurting them, I didn’t. But after the massive loss that I’ve experienced, everything was different, I understood how painful regret actually is.”

Tears began to well in your eyes the more his words dropped. You balled your fists, blinking profusely to prevent the warm droplets from escaping. Kakashi noticed your quiet sobs, running his fingers over your trembling hands, loosening your grip, and interlacing your fingers with his. You released a heavy sigh and pulled both your hands back, wiping away your tears as quickly as when they fell and dampened the fabric of your jeans.

“You’re not at the bottom of agony when you lose someone important,” Kakashi breathed, “it’s when you feel empty after they’ve left and mourning on what you could’ve done when they were still with you.”

Your sobs eventually assuaged as you chewed on his words. The silver-haired distracted himself by stirring the liquid of his drink, but he was in no state to enjoy its taste. He already said everything he wanted to say, and the decision was now fully on your shoulders. But by your lack of response, he was sure that you did not see your relationship taking another form—the way that he wished. He abruptly stood up from his seat, fleeting on his feet, “Let’s forget about what’s happened. I mean I still respect you as my teammate, Y/N. Don’t forget our meeting tomorrow.”

“No-no, Kakashi-senpai, wait,” you moved, hastily shoving your hands in his direction, gripping his wrist like a vice. You hung your head low to avoid his investigating gaze as you spoke, “I do.”

His gears in his head turned, and Kakashi smiled with satisfaction, “You do what?”

Your heart was beating frantically in your chest, so fast that you felt its rapid pumps in your throat. You stuttered out, voice growing quieter the more you expressed, “I-I want to go out with you, senpai—”

“Drop the ‘senpai’ already,” he playfully hissed and you grinned, certain that you just made the best choice of your life. Kakashi leaned down and rested his chin on your shoulder blade, snuggling his face into your neck, “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for letting me love you.”

------------------

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @thenightfallingstar @iam-gaaras-loveintrest @animepickle7 @tirzamisu @rinnegankakashi

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

IUI - The Way I Love You

bear with me here folks

I know the Idiots are usually soft af. but my lovely spouse/fiance/soon-to-be-fiance and beta @dani-dandelino hit me with an idea and I added a dash handful of angst bc i couldn’t help it

Warnings: feelings of inadequacy, fear of breakup (no actual breakup I promise), miscommunication, drunk af Geralt, past shitty relationships, happy ending tho I promise, there’s tears but they’re happy I swear.

______________________________________

Geralt only ever got sloppy drunk when Jaskier was the DD. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t trust anyone else, it was that he didn’t trust his drunk boyfriend not to goad him into something stupid. 

The last time they’d both gotten fucked up outside of their apartment they woke up with three traffic cones and a “Speed Hump” sign in their living room. When they asked Triss what happened she sent them a video of them giggling as they tried to fit the sign into her trunk.

After hanging the sign in their apartment, they decided it may be best to take turns. 

This particular instance, they’d dropped Triss and Yen off and were on their way home, Geralt’s head lolling against the window as he fought to stay awake. 

“I’m not carrying your perky ass upstairs,” Jaskier laughed, snapping his fingers near Geralt’s ear. 

Geralt grumbled but sat up straight and leaned into Jaskier’s outstretched hand, “Radio.”

Affectionately rolling his eyes, Jaskier pulled his hand away and flipped on the radio. Geralt immediately gasped and started singing along off key and slurred. The first time Jaskier heard Geralt scream along to Taylor Swift he’d been shocked, if extremely endeared. 

“BUT I MISS SCREAMIN’ AND FIGHTIN AND KISSIN IN THE RAIN! IT’S TWO AM AND I’M CURSIN’ YOUR NAME! SO IN LOVE THAT WE ACTED INSANE, AND THAT’S THE WAY I LOVED YOUUUUUUUUU!”

Jaskier turned the volume down to a reasonable level when Geralt cranked it so loud his ears might start ringing. He rolled his eyes when Geralt started singing it to him, taking the shortcut home and trying to ignore the little pit forming in his stomach. 

When the song ended Geralt turned the radio down and picked up his hand not gripping the steering wheel, “Jask?”

“Mhm?”

Even in the car, Geralt glanced around conspiratorially before whispering, “I have a secret.”

Fear flared in Jaskier’s chest but he took a deep, calming breath, reminding himself who he was talking to. His boyfriend thought secrets were fun. Mostly because Geralt’s version of a secret was keeping what he made for dinner a surprise until Jaskier got home. He’d even felt guilty not telling Jaskier he was seeing a therapist when they’d started dating. For all his gruff exterior and suspicion, Geralt really was an open book with those he loved and trusted. Jaskier had a very different idea of what secrets in a relationship meant. 

“What’s that, love?” 

Geralt giggled as he traced the edges of a magnolia on the back of Jaskier’s wrist, “That is the way I love you.”

Luckily for Jaskier’s car, they were rolling up to a stop sign. He had time to loose his breath for a moment and fight back the initial feeling of shame and anger with himself before he pulled his hand away and gripped the steering wheel as he punched the gas. 

Through gritted teeth, he said the gentlest thing he could think of, “We don’t kiss in the rain.”

Geralt frowned, almost pouted at him, “I still love you.”

A part of Jaskier wanted to scream at Geralt, another part wanted to pull over and make him walk home, thankfully the loudest part reminded him the idiot was just drunk. He didn’t know what he was saying and he thought he was being sweet. There was also a good possibility he would cry himself to sleep in the passenger seat if Jaskier yelled at him and last time he tried to carry Geralt to bed his back hurt for a week. 

“I love you too,” Jaskier sighed as he pulled into their parking spot. 

He didn’t sleep well that night. Not because his sweaty, smelly, and fidgety boyfriend clung to him in his sleep, but because he couldn’t stop thinking about the ride home. 

Jaskier had lived in relationships like that for most of his adult life. Hell, even in his teens. They were nothing but all consuming passion with no connection to support it and left both parties jaded and lost. When he left his mentor he’d sat in Yen’s chair for hours and hours, until his arm had gone numb, and the only thing he could think was ‘never again’. 

And now Geralt thought he was being cute. The ridiculously meticulous and serious man was only ever sappy when he got drunk and now instead of reveling in it like he’d like, Jaskier was staring at the clock on his nightstand calculating how exhausted he’d be in the morning as the minutes ticked by. 

Turns out, he was at least in the land of the living by the time Geralt shuffled into the kitchen with his hands in his hair and a pained expression. 

“Feel like shit.”

Jaskier hummed in agreement as he sipped his morning tea and shifted in his seat to see better out the window. 

After popping a few anti-inflammatories and nibbling on a cracker before giving up on food, Geralt lumbered up behind Jaskier and draped his arms over his shoulders, “What’s wrong?”

“S’nothing. I’m just being… touchy.”

Geralt pressed a light kiss over the hellebore tattoo on Jaskier’s neck, “I doubt it.”

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as Jaskier laid his hand over Geralt’s arm across his chest, “I don’t want to lose this.”

“Why…? What makes you think you would?” Geralt was a little slower on the draw hungover, but he knelt next to Jaskier’s chair and rested a hand on his knee as he waited for a response. He only ever looked so worried when Roach had an abscess and it broke Jaskier’s heart. He didn’t want to say it and ruin everything. 

After a deep breath in, he mumbled out his answer, “Do you really love me like that song?”

“What song?” Geralt breathed, his thumb brushing back and forth over Jaskier’s knee.

“The uh, Way I Loved You one.”

Geralt searched his face for a beat, the crease between his eyebrows only deepening, “Of course I do.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier breathed, biting his lip to keep it from wobbling as he forced all the air from his lungs in the hopes it would do something to stop the tears from falling. When it was clear he would lose the battle he leaned forward with his elbows on the table, hiding his face in his hands.

“You… don’t want me to?” Geralt sounded close to tears himself, but he didn’t take his hand off Jaskier’s thigh. 

“No- yes! No?” Jaskier sniffed and wiped at his face but didn’t lean back to look at Geralt, “I- Geralt I can’t just fill a hollow relationship with lust. We ha- I thought we had more? But if you want the- the fights and the hate fucking- I don’t- Geralt I don’t want that. Not with anyone but not with you. Ne-”

“Hey, hey,” Geralt tugged at Jaskier’s arm, gathering him to his chest when the brunette melted into sobs, “I don’t want that. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry I let you think that.” He cradled Jaskier’s head to his shoulder, pressing kisses into his hair between softly spoken apologies and reassurances. They stayed there until Jaskier’s tea went cold and his sobs were closer to little gasps. 

Eventually, Jaskier lifted his head and met Geralt’s eyes, “H-how do you love me?”

Geralt licked his lips, his voice barely above a whisper, “Not- It’s not hollow.”

Jaskier squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead to Geralt’s, “Please?”

One of Geralt’s hands came up to cup Jaskier’s cheek as he took a deep breath, “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you… I never wanted to be romantic with anyone until you. You… You make me feel… safe. I’m never bored of you or numb or sick of you. This is the first relationship I’ve had where I bother to fight, Jask. I love you so much it makes me do things I never thought to do and I’m glad and I never want to change anything about us. Never.” 

A shiver ran down Jaskier’s spine as relief flooded his whole body. His throat ached from crying and his shoulders were sore from holding all that tension in a way they hadn’t for years, but he’d never felt so good. Geralt loved him. Him. Not some tumultuous relationship or the sex or the drama of it all. Someone finally loved him for him. 

It hadn’t really hit Jaskier till then. They’d said ‘I love you’, sure, but he hadn’t really believed Geralt, just like he’d stopped believing the string of selfish lovers before him. 

“Thank Mellitelle,” Jaskier laughed, just on this side of hysterical as he tightened his grip around Geralt’s shoulders, “I fucking love how boring we are. And you. Fuck I really really do love you.”

“Even when I smell like my regulars?” Geralt teased, intentionally huffing a little extra and dosing Jaskier in his horrendous hangover morning breath.

Jaskier wrinkled his nose but smiled and kissed him anyway, “Of course.”

“Mhh,” Geralt pulled away for a moment, brushing his thumb over Jaskier’s crows feet in a silent request for him to open his eyes, “Can we go back to bed?”

“The crying does it for you, huh?” Jaskier chuckled, his voice was still weak but his laugh was genuine.

“I’m so dizzy, Jask,” squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head ever so slightly, Geralt plopped back onto his heels. If Jaskier hadn’t witnessed just how much he drank he’d say he was lying, but Jaskier was truly surprised he’d even climbed out of bed this morning.

“Mkay, up. Back to bed then.”

They settled under the blankets and tangled themselves back together. Geralt hummed, closing his eyes and squeezing Jaskier a little tighter.

New, happier tears threatened at the corners of his eyes but he pushed them down, opting to trace the corner of Geralt’s buttercup tattoo peeking out of his shirt, “I love you.”

Geralt took a deep breath in before he sighed out a rumbling, “I know.”

“No, Geralt. Really,” Jaskier laid his hand over the yellow and green ink, “I’ve said these words more times than I can count but I don’t think I ever really understood them until you.”

“Jaski-”

“I love you,” Jaskier’s interruption was far smaller and far more fragile than he had intended. His words just continued to spill out, “You’re steady and calm and I’ve never had that. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like and I’m constantly scared I’m gonna fuck it up…”

Comforting fingers ran through his hair as Geralt murmured his reply, “Me too,” Jaskier just squeezed his shoulder in a bit of solidarity and a bit of selfish comfort, “But I think we’re doing alright…”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” Geralt started, shifting so he was practically engulfing Jaskier, “we both still love each other, and...” his boyfriend pinched him when he trailed off, pretending to fall asleep in a way that always mad Jaskier giggle, “Ow- and you use the hooks by the front door.” 

“I do, don’t I?” Jaskier sniffled, “And you used your words.”

“I’d use all the words for you.”

“All of them?”

Geralt really was drifting away this time, his words coming slowly as his arms relaxed and Jaskier felt their full weight over him, “Not well, but I would...” 

[thotsforvillainrights]

How would Overhaul, Nine, Skeptic or Trumpet react to jungle juice or lean if you made them try it- would they even be able to stomach it or would they just go into a coma

Also welcome back from ur hiatus!! ⭐️

(Thanks! It’s good to be back! Now to answer this one my dumbass had to google some of the terms since I’m a square and never really drank or partied lmao. Anyway, I hope this lines up right!)

~Jungle Juice~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

~Overhaul~

-It was beyond him why you wanted to throw this party to even begin with. You kept spouting off about team building and bringing everyone closer and whatnot. He just wanted to go in the room and go to bed, but here he was on the lower levels of the base being bombarded by loud music and watching his men do something other than working for once. He groaned when he felt you grab his gloved hand and pull him to the table where drinks and food was lined up. “Oh come one and loosen up will you? Look, I made this myself!” You lied, Deidoro made the alcohol but you knew Kai wouldn’t try it if you told him that. He sighed and took a sip. Have you even seen Chisaki drunk before? Well you did tonight for the first time in your relationship. He wasn’t a big drinker but the beverage had a way of sneaking up on him. You’re not really sure how the in the hell Deidoro managed to get it to taste like fruit juice but he did. And because of that, you now had to watch the man you loved try and have a breakdancing competition with the wall. You silently prayed no one would record, but knowing them it would fall on deaf ears. Later that night you had to usher him upstairs to the bathroom in your bedroom so he could puke his guts out and expel the toxicity from his body. You swore that you’d never try and get him to drink like that ever again. That is...if you can survive the next morning when he finds those recordings of himself.

Verdict: He can handle it for a little while, but it’s coming right back up afterwards.

~Nine~

-You were in the kitchen experimenting again with your drinks and he knew this. He chuckled to himself and went to watch as you poured various bottles into a large container (amongst other things). When you finally noticed him you looked up and smiled innocently. “Wanna try it? It’s jungle juice!” He laughed and shook his head. “With all due respect, I don’t trust it. The last thing you made me try last weekend nearly had me dead. What was it called? The lean? Yes, well I’m not sure after that I want to try your ‘jungle juice’...or any of your juice concoctions for that matter.” You immediately pouted at him. “Oh come on! That was an accident and you probably had too much haha! Look, I need to make sure this is perfect for my friends get together they’re having tomorrow and I’m blind to my own drinks so I need someone else to test it out. Pleeeease?” Well how could he say no to you when you needed him like this, right? He tried it and boy did it taste good at first. After that, he started crying about various issues. You did your best to try an console him but it wasn’t working to well. Leaving him alone for just 10 minutes as you went to the store and got coffee to try and sober him up was a mistake. You came back home to him passed out on the living room carpet face down. Luckily for you he was still breathing. Unfortunately he was out like a light so you had to call his job for him the next morning and let them know he was not going to be able to come into work. He didn’t wake up until the next evening.

Verdict: He can’t hold it and too much of it makes him pass out. Wouldn’t recommend.

~Skeptic~

-”Give it to me.” He took the glass from your hand and sniffed it a couple of times. “This stuff smells too good to be true. I don’t want you drinking it.” You groaned and rolled your eyes. “It’s a party and that’s what I’m here for. (Sorry to the readers that don’t partake in it) Besides, weren’t you supposed to be my DD anyway?” He stared at you for a minute or two before downing the drink. To say you were shocked was an understatement. You sounded off something between a scoff and a laugh before shaking your head. “There’s no way you just downed that entire jar like that. I thought you didn’t even drink!” He glared at you. “I’ve drank before...sometimes in the past.” That was a lie. He’s probably had a total of 4 alcoholic drinks in his entire life so far. The man lived on coffee and energy drinks alone. However, he knew how stubborn you could be sometimes so he was ahead of you in this and downed the beverage before you could have a single sip. “You’re about to go on a ride.” You smirked at him and he tilted his head slightly. “Elaborate on that...” He asked and you laughed. “Because that was lean, Tomoyasu.” The man blinked and one minute he was at the party, the next minute he was in the bed at the house with the others standing over him. “Oh good, he’s alive.” Curious sighed and went to find you. Re Destro placed the back of his hand over Skeptic’s forehead to test the temp while Trumpet and Geten stared with concern. You entered the bedroom and let out a long sigh of relief. “Oh thank God, we were going to take you to the hospital but I see you’ve woken up. Thank God too, because if another day passed then I’m sure this would’ve been considered as a coma.” 

Verdict: Don’t let him have anything beyond a little wine...

~Trumpet~

-You would think with age that the man could settle down, but that was pretty far from the truth. This dinner date with the others turned into a full house party when Chitose wheeled in the large cooler full of the drink. Rikiya had long since retired upstairs to bed when he saw what was inside of it. He claimed he wanted no part in it because of what happened last time. Before you could ask him to speak further on the matter he was gone, only leaving with a ‘please don’t let them destroy my house’. You shrugged and watched the drinks being poured. When you noticed Trumpet grab a glass you laughed a little. “Hey whoa, I didn’t take you as a drinker my love. I’ve not seen you partake in anything outside of Bourbon and Chardonnay. You sure you can handle it?” He smirked at you. “Y/N I’m a social drinker. I can handle it more than you could.” Of course you took this as a challenge. What you expected to happen would be a light drinking competition between lovers. What actually happened was that he drank you under the table and kept going even further than you thought any one man should. You wished you could gather your thoughts and tell him to stop but all that kept coming out was laughter. However, things didn’t stay funny for long as he turned to speak to you and vomited all over your outfit for the night. Chitose had to call a cab to take the two of you home.

Verdict: He can handle it a lot. Just don’t get too close to him when he opens his mouth.

[kisshwa]

𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 - 𝐣.𝐰𝐲

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇʙᴏʏ!ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪᴍᴍᴇʀꜱᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇ ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪꜱᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟᴠᴇꜱ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ’ꜱ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 — ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ, ᴍɪɴᴏʀ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 — 1700+

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅʀᴜɢ ᴜꜱᴇ, ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ (ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴᴏ ᴅᴇꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴠᴇ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇꜱ)

waves of partiers continued to pile in, filling the place with even more drunken and stoned college students. it was a friday and no one had anything better to do than get wasted all night long. you found yourself hidden away in the kitchen with a few of your friends from class. the room was fairly quiet compared to the rest of the house; which whom you didn’t even know who it belonged to.

“y/n, pass me that tequila behind you, would ya?” jieun pointed in your direction, as you sat atop of the counter.

she was already super drunk but you did as she said, handing it over and watching her pour the liquid into a cup. you looked out into the living room where everyone was dancing, smiling at the fun everybody was having. you, however, only showed up for one person and had yet to see him walk through the door. it was pathetic really — sitting around, waiting for the moment he’d come strutting in and instantly have the girls pouncing on him.

you took another swig of the drink taeyang had mixed, getting ready to hop down and move to the dance floor when someone caught your eye. it was him, in all his god-like glory. the way the flashing led lights hit his skin, the way his face lit up when everyone began calling his name, the way his black hair was hanging in his eyes; everything about him was perfect. it was too bad he’d never be yours.

jieun nudged your knee, “you gonna talk to him tonight?”

“weren’t you just telling me last night that i need to stop talking to him? that he was only breaking my heart?” you arched an eyebrow at her.

she shrugged and took a sip, eyes still narrowing in on his face, “i mean, i have no room to talk. mingi and i are the same way, but if he makes you cry one more time, i’m breaking his face.”

you laughed, shoving her away jokingly. she patted your thigh and sent a wink before wandering off to another room. it took you a minute of thinking before you finally got down from the counter and headed out as well. just as you rounded the corner, you body collided harshly with another. you looked up to find the king himself with his arms up to avoid bumping you again. he stopped when he noticed it was you.

“y/n.” he smiled his stupid little smile.

“wooyoung.”

he continued walking into the kitchen, knowing you’d follow, “you didn’t tell me you’d be here tonight.”

he set his case of beer down in the fridge. ‘it’s not like it would matter anyway’ you wanted to tell him. he straightened back up and looked at you with raised eyebrows, waiting for your response. you looked him up and down with a deadpanned expression. as much as you wanted to hate him, for all he’s done, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“i didn’t even know i’d be here until a few hours ago.” you confirmed.

he nodded, stepping closer and wrapping an arm around you. you could smell that he had already been drinking, maybe even a hint of weed if you would’ve took the opportunity to lean in closer. he peered down at you, that little grin forming again.

“guess that makes you my beer pong partner by default, huh?”

you rolled your eyes and poked his side, “oh, please. i carry your ass in every game.”

the two of you walked out into the main area but you had pulled away from his grasp before anyone could see. the last thing you needed were boys teasing you and girls acting fake to get closer to wooyoung. almost everyone knew about your guys’s past but assumed all connections stopped once you cut things off.

it was nearing midnight and the party had yet to die down. some were passed out in the back and front yard, others were struggling to stand on their own two feet. you and wooyoung were on your final round of beer pong, earning a complete winning streak together.

“y/n! jieun’s throwing up in the bathroom!” taeyang yelled from the hallway.

you didn’t think twice and left the game instantly to go help your best friend. jieun was slumped over the toilet, luckily managing to make it on time and preventing a mess. taeyang stood behind her, hands on her hips as she looked down at her passed out friend. you rubbed jieun’s back and tried to pick her up, but with no luck.

“here,” a voice came from the door. “i’ll get her. where’s your car at?”

taeyang’s eyes flashed between you and wooyoung. she waited for you to signal that it was okay before answering. wooyoung hoisted her against his side, hands holding her tightly to assure she didn’t slip. you lead the one, clearing a pathway all the way out to taeyang’s car down the street, buckling her in.

she thanked him religiously before turning to you, “do you want to leave now or do you want me to come by later to pick you up?”

wooyoung’s held fell on your waist, “i have a dd picking me up around two. she can come with me, if that’s okay?”

taeyang double-checked with you to make sure you were comfortable with it. when you nodded, she sent you a flying kiss and climbed into the drivers seat. you watched as she drove away; with wooyoung still attached to your hip. he bent down and placed his chin on top of your head, eyes still following the vehicle.

“you have pretty great friends.” he announced. “i’m glad you found decent people here.”

you turned around to face him, arms absentmindedly snaking up and around his neck. maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the emotions you kept balled up, but you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right now. his eyes were dead-set on yours, setting off butterflies in your stomach. why did he have to be so damn perfect? why did he have to mess with your head like that?

just as you began to make a move, a car came flying down the road and made a screeching stop in front of you. wooyoung pursed his lips, mentally cursing his best friend for giving a terrible impression of his driving. san, the best friend in question, just about fell out of his seat when you opened the back door. he hadn’t seen you for the last five months, after everything went down.

“long time, no see.” he beamed, discretely glancing at wooyoung for some sort of explanation.

by the time you arrived at their apartment, you were still pretty tipsy; after downing the remains of your drink before hopping in the car. wooyoung guided you to his bedroom, though you were well aware of where it was. you fell down on the mattress, not bothering to take of your shoes. woo cringed and snatched your feet in his hands, placing them in his lap as he unlaced your sneakers. you began to doze off when you felt a cold swipe across your face. your eyes fluttered open to see him delicately removing your makeup.

“you’re too nice to me.��� you whispered, staring at him fondly.

he chuckled, “i’m just making sure your skincare routine doesn’t get too messed up. it’s not good to sleep in your makeup.”

it was unbelievable how in love you still were with him. everything he did made your heart skip beats just like when you were dating.

“wooyoung?” you opened your eyes again. “why do we keep doing this?”

he hummed, “what do you mean?”

this time, you sat up so he could sit beside you. his face was full of concern, afraid he might have done something wrong by bringing you home with him. he just wanted to make sure you were safe.

“we broke up months ago, but we still hookup and party together and do things that exes shouldn’t do. we still obviously care for each other, so why are we not together anymore?”

wooyoung licked his lips, fiddling his fingers out of unsureness, “i-i don’t know, y/n. we just weren’t the same as before. our lives got so busy and neither of us had time for each other. there were times i questioned if i was still in love with you.. and that shouldn’t even be a concern of mine. that’s when i knew i had to leave.”

you both agreed to go your separate ways after breaking up. yet you still found yourselves searching for each other in big crowds and keeping an eye out for anyone who was getting a little too close to the other. you tried anything and everything to forget about him: one-night stands with strangers, drinking til you blacked. nothing worked.

“i’m tired of trying to find you in someone else.” you confessed quietly. “nobody compares to the way you care for and look at me. you were my first real love. how am i supposed to move on from that?”

his eyes shook, dancing from yours back to his lap. he had never been able to put into words how he felt, but you did it perfectly for him. no amount of drunken hookups with other girls could ever amount to the warmth you radiated when making love to him. he missed you; so much, it was embarrassing.

“y/n?”

you looked at him once more, hoping your words got through to him. he leaned in dangerously closer and pushed the stray hairs out of your face. his touch sent electricity through your bones. your mouth opened slightly, almost as an invite for him to kiss you.

just before he captivated your lips on his, he whispered ever-so-softly, “i love you.”

his hands found their home on your sides, nonchalantly pressing you down further on the mattress. you placed yours in his hair to pull him closer. while still at work, he managed to pull your top over your head. his kisses cascaded down your neck, across your chest, then trailed your stomach. you watched as he made sure to give every part of your body the love it deserved.

“if you love me so much, then stay with me this time.” you were breathless by his actions.

he peered up from his position between your thighs, the faintest smile on his face, “i’m never letting either of us walk away again.”

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

hiii!! hope you are well, may i request a super duper fluffy minho x reader where they are both having late night talks about life but minho is not taking reader seriously?? but it ends up to a very cute cuddle session (fluffy please :>) thank you :DD

I made it as fluffy as I could! I hope you like it! 💕

Understanding | Lee Minho

{Stray Kids Masterlist}

Members: Lee Know

Genre: fluff with a pinch of angst

Summary: You want nothing more than to talk to your boyfriend Minho about his emotions, but he won’t take you seriously

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: minor swearing

*reader is gender-neutral

Minho has never been the best with deep conversations. Having the personality that he possesses, he makes it rather hard for people to bring up serious topics with him. His teasing and somewhat impertinent aura always overrides people’s determination to become emotionally vulnerable around him.

Minho wasn’t aware of this fact. He was quite socially dumb sometimes, not being able to see that his friends and those around him can become quite sensitive to his bickering. Everyone knows he can sometimes go too far, it was just part of Minho’s personality. Even then, there would always be someone to tell him to stop, which he never argues with.

After meeting you, his significant other for four months, he knew he had to learn to be more careful with his words, never wanting to hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.

He wanted nothing more than for you to be able to become emotionally vulnerable around him. He always knew that serious conversations were not his strong point, but he was willing to try his best for you, in case you were ever in a situation where you want to talk to him about something significant.

You yourself always struggled with opening up to people. Although you loved Minho with your whole heart, his attitude sometimes made it even more of a struggle.

Recently, you’ve been trying to bring more serious topics into your chats with Minho. Things like being anxious about work, feeling overwhelmed from minor things and just overall your true thoughts and emotions. He would definitely convey that he’s trying his best to look after you, talking in a sweet tone and cooing at you, but it seemed a bit too baby like. You wanted to just discuss it with him, not be babied.

He seemed to have taken it as you being upset, when it was more that you wanted to just talk to him about deep subjects. Honestly, you had always wished to hear his honest thoughts on you and why he feels the way he does about you. You wanted your relationship to be a mix of both fun, teasing, laughing moments as well as loving, honest and emotionally affectionate moments. But obviously at that moment both of you were only accustomed to one of those.

You didn’t particularly blame him because you knew your relationship was still quite new. But you knew you had to become more emotionally vulnerable around each other if you wished to stay in a relationship together.

One day, you had had quite a frustrating day. You woke up late, your alarm clock not going off, meaning you had to rush out of the house to get to your university classes, not having time to give Minho a goodbye kiss. Then you were yelled at by your professor, leaving you annoyed and upset. At lunch, it only got worse when you realized you rushed so quickly out of the house you forgot to pack anything to eat.

You came home, soaked from the rain because you didn’t look at the forecast and didn’t take an umbrella, trudged through the door and threw your bag onto the bag hook aggressively. Minho had the day off, having been at dance practice and the recording studio so often during the past few weeks, so you saw him in the kitchen cooking some pasta when you walked through the house.

“Hey Y/N! How was your day?” he asked without looking at you. You didn’t answer and walked up to him briskly, throwing yourself around him and rubbing your face on his upper back. He jolted in surprise. “Woah! Haha, someone’s excited to see me,” he giggled with a cheeky smile on his face.

Although, his smile dropped when he heard small little sobs coming from behind him. He felt you grip his shirt into your fists, pressing your face harder into him.

He turned around and looked at you in worry. He wasn’t sure what to do. In the short time you have been together, he has never seen you cry. He’s seen you shed a tear while watching a sad movie with you, but he would usually tease you for it. Seeing you cry like this made his heart ache.

“Baby,” he cooed. He pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head and fiddling with your hair as you sobbed quietly. “Sorry, I’ve just had such a shit day and I wanted a hug,” you mumbled into his shirt.

Minho stayed quiet for a short moment. “Of course,” he said hesitantly. “Anything for you my lil’ muffin.”

Minho tried his best to comfort you for the afternoon. He wanted to treat you like a queen to make up for the stressful day that you’ve had. He was a little bit awkward, patting your head at random moments and wiping your tears with a tissue.

You appreciated the effort he was putting into making you feel better. It made you feel less embarrassed for crying in front of him. You became happier about the ordeal because this was the first time he has really seen a weaker side of you, and he was taking care of you perfectly.

Later that night, you two were getting ready to climb into bed together, feeling tired from both the yucky weather and the frustrating day. You had gained back your happy and cheerful personality, making Minho glad that you were feeling better. You both joked around playfully while brushing your teeth in the bathroom, him pinching your waist making you almost choke.

After you had gotten changed into your pajamas, you clambered into your bed where Minho was already laying, looking at something on his phone.

You crawled up to him and leaned over him on your elbows, looking at his face in curiosity. He glanced at you from his phone and smiled, poking your cheek with his finger. “What do you want?”

You thought for a moment. Maybe this was the time to actually open up a bit. Minho had been taking care of you all afternoon, making you feel so loved and happy. It would be just the icing on the cake if you could have a cute conversation with him before sleeping. It would be a nice break to your usual antics of bantering and teasing every minute of every day.

“What are you staring at?” Minho asked, snapping you out of your daze. You smiled and looked down into his eyes before beginning to talk.

“Minho, where do you see yourself in five years?” you asked, being serious about the question.

Minho giggled and looked back at his phone. “Weird question but okay,” he answered, making you frown. “I’d want to be on an expensive yacht drinking champagne like a king.”

He wasn’t looking at you, so he didn’t see that you didn’t smile to laugh at his response. “No, I mean where do you see yourself with me?” you tried again.

Minho smirked and looked at you mischievously. “I mean, will we still be together in the next five years? I think we would end up tearing each other apart out of annoyance.”

You could tell he was joking, but you thought it was rather cruel to say after the day you’ve had. He was having one of those moments where he goes a little too far with his teasing, but you didn’t have the patience to deal with it that night.

 “You know what? Forget it Minho,” you said coldly. You pulled yourself underneath the duvet and rolled onto the other side of the bed, facing away from him.

Minho felt the harshness in your words, and he realized you weren’t joking. He put his phone down on the bedside table and sat up to talk to you, panicking a little about belittling your feelings.

“Wait baby, I’m sorry. That was probably a bit mean of me.” he said sorrowfully as he shakes your arm to get your attention.

You rolled over and looked at him. “Well yeah it was. I mean we’ve had such a lovely afternoon together and I actually thought you would have a nice chat with me before we sleep considering you were so worried when I came home crying.”

Minho looked into your eyes and brought his hand up to your cheek to stroke it. “I know, I’m sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that, it was insensitive of me,” he mumbled, looking at you with so much love in his eyes.

You laid there for a second, enjoying the feeling of Minho’s warm touch on your skin, feeling comforted already.

“Come here,” you said to him.

Minho laid right next to you and let you wrap your arms around his shoulders in a close hug. He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against yours, his fringe and breath tickling your face.

“I’ll be honest,” he finally spoke up. You opened your eyes to look at him. “I want to stay with you for as long as possible. You make me feel so at home and happy. I would never be able to find someone who matches with me just as well as you do. I wonder everyday how you manage to deal with my teasing and blunt honesty, because I know if it was anyone else, they wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

You tightened your arms around him and chuckled at him. “You’re right, Minho. No one else can handle you and your sly tricks. You’re lucky to have me.”

Minho looks into your eyes and how they were reflecting the moon’s light that shone through the window next to your bed. “I know I am,” he said.

He leaned into you and pressed his lips to yours in a heated kiss. You moved your lips against his slowly, enjoying the moment while it lasted.

Minho wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his body and rubbing your skin lovingly. You felt so loved and safe in his arms, happy that both of you finally had a moment where you showed your true deep feelings.

Finally, you pulled away from his lips and he chased after yours, making you giggle and place a hand against his chest so you could speak. “Thanks Minho, I love you so much,” you admit, rubbing your nose against his playfully. He smiled and looked away from your eyes, flustered.

“Aww is my tough boyfriend flustered by me?” you teased, pinching his waist making him squirm.

“Shut up,” he whined, ticking you back.

You both fell asleep soon after, facing each other and feeling each other’s breaths on your faces. Minho was finally beginning to learn how to be more sensitive and open about his and yours emotions, and he was happy to keep trying his best to be the most amazing boyfriend you could ever have, as long as he got to cuddle and kiss you like that every night.

Author’s Note: I want to clarify that this was not at all written with the intention to bash Minho’s real personality! This is purely for fictional purposes!

I hope you enjoyed anon! I added a bit onto the storyline if that’s okay.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Rabbit. Chapter Two Part Two

Draco x Hufflepuff reader

Tags; @khemz1312 @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @dracmalf0y-dm @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @shinsouscatpisssmell

W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors

After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you he was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most

Draco did not return to the bedroom, he ran his hands under the cold water staring at them watching the blood run down his wrists down to the drain of the sink trying to think of a way around this… what could he do ? he needed help… The man shook his head at just the thought of him asking for help. “Rubbish.” he slapped the water off drying his hands on his briefs and going to check on you to see you asleep.

Its dark there huh?

Like the cell

“Shut up…” the tired shaky man shook his head going back to the living room, his vision was dizzy and he had to drag himself along the wall so he would not stumble and fall.

Why do you even bother?

Coming here?

“B-b-because..”Draco fell into the back of the couch seeing Biscuit asleep on his pillow and quickly went around the furniture to scoop up the rabbit holding him close to his chest. He let out a heavy sigh of relief once he felt Biscuits cold nose against his chest sniffing around. “I ,.. Wanna be with her…” he laid down on the couch with the curious bunny on his chest. He shook his head several times trying to get the voices to subside..

But does she want to be with .. you?

“She does.. “

Draco did not last long in the dark; he had gotten up and turned every light on except for the bedroom . one thing Draco did learn in Azkaban was that the Dementors hated the light. So every night he would sit under the window in his cell hoping the moon would be full and bright enough to shine in on him… But even with all the lights on he still saw darkness when he shut his eyes…

He was back on the couch with Biscuit on his chest again trying to think of something else, anything else. He wanted to share the bed with you so bad.. He longed for that moment with you. To have you snuggle against him .. tracing your finger on his chest.. Telling him stories .. cuddling up to him when you get cold.. Did you have any cute sleeping habits he wondered.. And did you prefer the middle or the edge of the bed.. Did you like to sleep in …?

“Rabbit……”

What if you get worse?

You already broke a glass, remember?

“Shut u-u-p…” he was starting to sweat, a long bead of it sliding down his head. We miss you Draco

Dont you miss us?

“N-no..” his hands found his hair digging into his locks. “I .. “

We love you for who you are Draco.

“You bastards made me this way..!” he sat up and Biscuit hopped off his lap scaring Draco, he jumped shielding his face till he realized it was just the bunny. “Im…” he wrapped his arms around himself feeling very sticky and uncomfortable all over, his skin felt like it was crawling and his bruises ached again with each heave of breath he took from his chest. “Im fine…”

You are fine , Draco.

Perfectly fine

Your fine

Your fine

Your fine…

Your ..fine

You-r fi-ne…

“SHUT UP!!!” Draco threw himself on the floor hitting his head hard on the wood making the voices subside, he stayed there for a minute, crying.

**

In the morning you had woken up to an empty bed and every light on in your home. Quickly you jumped out of bed rushing to the living room to see it empty. “dr..Draco..”

“Yes Rabbit?” you heard behind you.

You whipped around seeing Draco with a towel around his neck and sweats on him. You clung to him sighing with relief. “Nothing.. Goodmorning.”

Draco squeezed you tight, wrapping an arm around your back and head giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. Draco had passed out from exhaustion last night around 3 AM and woke up not too long ago drenched in a cold sweat with Biscuit wiggling his nose on his cheek . he had no idea when you would wake up so he had to hurry and cover his tracks.

“Good Morning Rabbit.” Draco squeezed you again and you slipped free taking his hand.

“I'm thinking.. We go get some clothes today?”

“S-sure.”

“And i think the twins opened their shop up again, maybe we could .. go check it out? Everyone deserves a good laugh sometimes..”

he was nervous.. It would be crowded in the twins shop...

Why dont you just run away

Come back to us

You cant handle things on your own anymore

You cant handle this-

He shook his head bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss it. “Sounds good, Rabbit.”

The shopping went.. Okay.. there's only so many choices in Diagon Alley after all. Simple dress clothes and a couple loose shirts was all he needed. All though you insisted he get some more clothes he could relax in .

“Draco dont you want more loose fitting things?”

“D-dosint ma-matter Rabbit” he was having a hard time talking to other people. Everyone he ran into asked him about Azkaban and you had to step in and change the subject before Draco blew up at them. You noticed he did not walk the same way he did in Hogwarts; back then he had his head in the clouds, his ego on his sleeve, his attitude front and center and that damn smug smile he wore on that damn grumpy face.

Now he looked over his shoulder, shook his head, faked his smile and rubbed his hands alot to keep himself from scratching his arms. You noticed he only did it when the wind blew and were growing more and more concerned about him. Something was wrong, something awful must have happened in Azkaban… but the real question was would he ask you to listen to him explain… anyone… someone.. You loved Draco Malfoy, but you worried for his health too.

“Hmm.. im going to get you a few more . ill be right back “

“O-o kay, ill be .. at the twins shop”

You turned to grab his hand “you sure youll be okay alone?”

Will you?

We dont think so

You wont be alone Draco

….you will have us…

He shook his head and pulled you in for a hug and kissed your lips. “Im sure, Pet. no go get me something nice yeah?” he patted your head, getting a small smile out of you.

“Yes, Draco” you teased him hurrying off into the clothing store again. It warmed his heart a bit.. He loved the teasing .. he wanted more of it. He wanted hsi days to be full of it…

Its a shame…

...that this will not last..

..but….. Everyday you go on..

...brings you closer to us…

“Shut.. up..i shouldn't be able to hear you in that bloody twins shop … “ Draco stumbled turning around to make hsi way to the very eyesore of a shop.

*

Loud. it was loud. It was crowded and people were everywhere laughing, playing jokes on others, playing music, things were flying around, confetti and the likes. People shoving to get to the next big attraction and shoving all kinds of colourful candy in their mouths. Draco flinched every time someone touched him. Usually he would yell and shove back but .. all he could do now was cower and look over his shoulder . his head was quiet, for once. He could not hear the Dementors in here and the shop was well lit too making it easier to keep them at bay.

Draco maneuvered the shop looking for the twins , it should not be too hard. All the Weasleys have this unique look to them. Draco moved to the center of the store when someone bumped him trying to get by making him jump and stumble into the desk hitting his hip, someone else pushed by and he white knuckled the furniture starting to breath heavily.

Draco…..

Draco…….

Draco……….

“Dammit.. Shut up….” he pulled himself up looking over the people seeing the twins at the back of the store. Carefully he made his way to them and they both saw him and waved.

“There he is !” Fred said.

“All is right now yep” George added.

Draco was holding his side trying to stand up straight and look intimidating but the look on his face told the twins he was afraid.

“Bloody… twins.”

“Thats us!” they both said with pride.

“Wheres… Pottah…..”

They looked at each other and then Draco, getting a good look at him.

“You okay Mate?” Fred asked , helping him steady himself

“How is y/n by the way?” George asked.

“Shes f--f-f-ine, “ he shook Fred off gulping down a breath. “Where. Is. Pottah”

“Uhm.. top floor actually, hes getting some things for his kids.” Fred pointed.

“Thanks..” Draco shot them a look with a slight nod and made hsi way up the steps to the much more empty area. He spotted Harry looking over some joke spells in a book . Draco tried to be quiet but…

The boy who lived?

Draco stumbled into a desk making it squeak, Harry looked up from the book and quickly put it down to go to Dracos side. He was struggling to stand and breathe.

“Draco…? Are you alright?”

“Sshh--shut up…-”

Yes ,,, Draco …

Shut him out…

You dont need him

You only need us

...you only need… us

Harry helped the man anyway and Draco slumped into his side cursing himself. Harry helped Draco to an empty room and shut the door, carefully he sat the man down in a chair and sat down across from him not saying anything. Draco was a mess inside and out right now, he hated Pottah, hated everything about him , how dare he refuse to be his friend all those years ago? That duel… that damn… quidditch match… that damn….. Bird …

Leave..

Leave

Draco, leave

You dont need-

“P-p-pott-ah,.....”

Dont.

“I … n-ee-dd,....” he dug his fingers in his hair whimpering in front of this man .

Harry instantly knew something was wrong, he stayed as calm as he could.

Draco Malfoy of Slytherin... the smug, man who did not care for anyone else at all , only himself. Never asked for help from anyone, did things his way… picked on whoever he wanted...not a care in the world… was whimpering in front of the man he hated most. On the verge of a breakdown.

“I need…..”

DONT DRACO!!!

He looked in Harrys eyes with heavy tears falling down his face… staining the wood table. “I need help……………………..please………………”

[yanqiiuver]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 ༘♡

hello i am here to deeply and sincerely apologise for not posting for such a long time. i have been very busy and giving myself a break from the genshin fandom for a while and also given myself a break from really having much human interaction at all. but heres a uh fanfic? idk i wrote on my wattpad enjoy yuh AND I PROMISE THIS TIME I WOULD REALLY START WORKING ON THE ALBEDO FIC its just kinda awkward writing for albedo after i read the hydro and cryo slime fics with my friends im so sry

inspiration from the song 君がくれたもの

❀┊𝐱𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐮𝐧 (mordern au!)

❝涙をこらえて 笑顔でさようならせつないよね。❞

──────

❝Farewell while smiling and holding back tears is so hard.❞

•––––––☆––––––•

ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ; [ 君がくれたもの ]

1:07 --◦---- -4:05

↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

warnings: angst yuh, as far as i remember there's no swearing of sorts

: ̗̀➛ 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 + 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 , 30th november 2024

☄. *. ⋆ enjoy, comrades ♡

<3

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⋮

⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀☆⠀⠀⠀ ⋮

⠀⠀⠀ ☆⠀⠀⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⋮⠀⠀⠀⠀☆

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⋮

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ☆

𝙭𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙦𝙞𝙪 𝙥𝙤𝙫

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 06/12/21 ୧ (dd/mm/yy)

I remember... when I saw you last summer. I wonder... do you still remember me? I can't seem to forget your smile. Your bright blue eyes always seemed to glisten when we talk about your favorite topics. I really miss you.. Do you miss me?

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 01/06/20 ୧ (shh pretend there was no covid) (i live in a country without summer so i'm not exactly sure when summer break is pls correct me if im wrong)

The last day of school before the summer holidays has finally come to an end! That was when i spotted you. I was walking on my way home under the blistering hot sun. There, I saw you bright blue hair standing out in all it's glory. This town i live in is small and I immediately knew you weren't from around here. They way you dressed was already different from our traditional clothing on it's own. As i turned to walk away, you called out to me, running towards me trying to gain my attention. I turned around to see you happily munching on a popsicle trying to speak to me. Your words were muffled by the cold treat you had in your mouth. Chuckling, I asked you to repeat what you said.

"I'm heading that way too! Wanna walk home together?" you asked me, a wide grin plastered on your face. Wanting to get to know you, I agreed. At first it was just silence, silence which i broke, asking you if you were moving here. I knew it was a dumb question, yet i still asked it, hoping, hoping so much that I had more than just the 11 week break to get to know you. You answered with a shake of your head, a wary smile visible on your face which dropped to look towards the ground. You turned back to me with a lopsided grin and you told me we still had time before you left. You told me that it was ok, you comforted me. You knew that comforting a stranger is weird, I knew it too, yet you still comforted me.

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 08/06/20 ୧

A week has passed since i met you, and that week was the happiest i have been my whole life. We became inseparable just after one week. Funny how this works. It felt like I've known you forever, like we have been friends forever.

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 09/08/20 ୧

Its late at night, around 12am , you brought me to the playground that we go to all the time. This time it wasn't to sit on the swings while you pushed my back, or to slide down the tiny slide made for elementary schoolers. You wanted to talk. You told me about how you were leaving the next day. We were both crying. I begged you to stay, I begged you to convince your mom to let you switch schools, but to no avail. You told me it was too late, that you were leaving early next morning, that the tickets were already bought. I never got the courage to admit to you, to tell you the secret I kept from you. And that night, I was blinded by grief, I didn't admit to you, and i forgot to ask for your number and so did you. But you held out your pinkie to me, asking me to hook mine along with yours. "I promise that I'll come meet you, 10 years later, 1st of June, the exact location we first met." I asked you why only 10 years later, why not next year. You only smiled sadly at me as we left the playground, walking back home in silence, with the occasional sobs.

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 10/08/20 ୧

Alas, the day you would be leaving our small town behind has arrived. It has nearly been 2 months. Somewhere in between, I realised that I had developed feelings for you. When you're having fun, time sure passes quickly don't you think so? I'll greatly miss you my dear friend. Funny how I didn't think of asking for you number before you left. Maybe I forgot? I don't remember why. I just knew, as i watched you board the plane back to your home that I forgot to ask you for it this 2 months we had been together. I could see you crying and it broke me to see you crying like that. Without realising, I myself was crying too, watching you leave me behind. Oh how much stuff I have yet to tell you, it hurts just seeing you go. Being with you this past 2 months made me happy. You were the sunshine that brightened this dull life of mine. But with sunshine comes the occasional rain, and I myself knew that the day for the sun to leave would come.

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 01/06/29 ୧

9 years has passed. Every year on this very day, I would wait for you at the same place we met. I knew you told me 10 years but, I couldn't stop myself from hoping that maybe... maybe you would come back earlier. That maybe you would come back to me. Yet I knew my hopes were just mere dreams, that I wouldn't see you that soon.

──────── *ೃ ‍୨ 01/06/30 ୧

10 years have past, I hope you still remember our promise. You didn't break it did you? You will come won't you. I walked into the store, and there, an ever so familiar tuff of light blue hair. It must be you. But beside you was a girl... Your fingers intertwined with hers as you smiled at her. You had a girlfriend. You turned your head towards me and widened your eyes, your smile became brighter. Oh how I missed your smile, and your bright blue eyes. I love them, I love you. But I now know that I can never be with you, you found a girl you loved after all, I could see it in both your eyes.

I fake a smile and turned away, hiding the tears that I shed. Your smile etched in my brain.

══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*══

ehehe finally done hope you liked it <3

- - - —꒰𝘺𝘶𝘯🎐☁꒱

[lixiescheesestick]

[DD/LG Scenarios with Stray Kids]

a/n: I this because I wanted a scenario for each member. Hope you enjoy 😊 also the last 3 got a bit short sorry..

genre: fluff

wordcount: 2.4k

warnings: ddlg content // sfw this isnt really a warning but it's all little space scenarios

ㅡ

Bang Chan

You knew Chan had been having it hard lately, comebacks and all giving him a hard time. His sleep schedule was quite wacky and when he did finally get to sleep, he'd often wake up to nightmares. They made him very anxious throughout the day.

When you were in little space, you didn't understand much of what was going on which Chan knew very well. He made sure to take care of you, and when nightmares occurred he'd keep them as hidden as possible. But when you were in big space you listened to what was on his mind and comforted him when needed.

Tonight was the first night he was sleeping at yours in a long time, and your little self was very excited for cuddles with your daddy. You spent the whole day playing and cuddling and watching Winnie Pooh. And when it came to bed time, you had your paci in your mouth and your favourite stuffie at hand. Chan made sure to give you a kiss on the forehead as he slipped in with you. Your body close to his as you drifted off together.

At around 3am Chan shot up, sweat drenched and breathing heavily. He tried to keep quiet, sobbing to himself silently before feeling your small hands stroke his bare back.

"Daddy.. are you okay?", you asked, slightly clueless in your little form.

Chan choked out a small yes, trying to control himself. Wiping the tears from his face only for them to be replaced with new ones as he remembered the dream.

You pulled his body to yours, holding his head to your chest and stroking his hair as he finally let his whimpers out. You tugged him gently, holding his curled up form in your eyes and calming him.

"I-I'm sorry babygirl… I should be the strong one in the relationship. I shouldn't be like.. like this."

You chuckled gently, kissing his forehead like he'd always do when you felt bad.

"It's okay daddy, I know that littles has to look after their daddies just as much as they look after us. What kind of a girlfriend would I be if I didn't look after you either.. hm?"

Chan looked up at you, brushing a thumb over your cheek lightly.

"Thank you, kitten. You're truly the best little girl anyone could ever wish for.."

Lee Minho

Minho was worried over the past few days. You hadn't been in little space in a few weeks and your stress levels were extremely high with exams and assignments stacked on top of each other. You never took any time for yourself and devoted everything to your school work.

Though after nearly a month, Minho had enough. He went to the shop and got you some banana milk and candies you liked to have when you were little. At home he then arranged a small snack set up, wanting to have a movie night with you. He'd get you there somehow whether you liked it or not.

Minho then slowly approached your office, knocking before going in, only to see you in the same position you had been in hours ago.

"Kitten?" he asked, testing the waters to see if you would slip any time soon.

"Mh." you answered, making him frown.

"Baby, let's get you out of this room. Huh? You've been sat in here for basically days and I really miss my little girl. Let's have a movie night with cuddles?" 

You furrowed your eyebrows, having to reread the sentence from before Minhos disturbance another two times.

"I can't right now, Minho I-", you were cut off by your boyfriend grabbing your chin and tugging it to make you look into his eyes.

"What did you just call me, hm?" Minho asked.

"I-I.. I'm sorry daddy.." you muttered, trying to avoid eye contact. Yet that only made Minho grab your chin harder and focus your eyes on him.

"And have you forgotten our rules, little Kit? What is rule number 1, hm?"

"Kitten must always look after herself no matter the circumstances…" you whispered.

"Louder." Minho commanded you, making your eyes well up as you slowly began to slip into your small headspace.

"Kitten must always look after herself no matter the circumstances… I'm sorry daddy." you said as you started crying.

You felt your boyfriend's arms wrap around your body and pull you into a hug before picking you up and rocking you to calm your sobs down again.

"Does my baby want to put on her onesie, get her paci and watch some movies with daddy?" Minho asked, knowing the answer.

"Mhm, please dada." you choked out, hiding your face in Minho's neck.

"And, kitten?"

"Mh?"

"You're a very good girl. Okay? I love you so much little one."

"I love you too daddy." you giggled, kissing your beloved daddy on the cheek.

Seo Changbin

Changbin had been whining about certain foods all week long, wanting to eat a homemade beef roast or some pork belly with delicious side dishes.

And that's what you wanted to do for him in big space today.

It had been a while since you had reached full grown up space, and now that you were there you really wanted to please your boyfriend with some nice food. You got all your supplies ready and started cooking, cutting up veggies and tossing them into a pan to roast them.

Then you wanted to cut up the cooked meat, shuffling through the drawers looking for the biggest, sharpest knife you could find (which you used for meat whenever you did cook).

You smiled when you finally found it, going back to the counter to cut up your meat. You got half way through when a loud gasp from the doorway surprised you.

"Princess! What on earth are you doing with a knife in your hands?!" Changbin screeched, pacing over and taking the knife out of your hands to which you started feeling small again.

"Huh? Daddy.. I'm a big girl though I just wanted to cook for you.."

Changbin shook his head, putting the knife to the side and hugging you close to his body.

"No no, you are my small little princess that I love with all my heart. So tiny and pretty. Hm? And little princesses don't use knives. Understood?"

You blushed, hiding your face behind your hands as you slipped into your small mindset.

"mhm! yes daddy..  I understand!" you giggled, pulling Changbin into an embrace.

Hwang Hyunjin

"Angel, are you done getting ready?" Hyunjin asked, checking his watch quickly.

"Mhm, here I am daddy." you said, skipping up to him in a casual outfit.

"Perfect." he muttered, holding out his hand for you to grab, which you did, as you started the walk to the grocery store a few blocks down.

"Alright, princess, what did we need again?" he asked. Of course he knew everything but it made you feel very responsible when you could count up the items on the shopping list.

"Nuggies, strawberry milk and daddy's grown up cereal." you said, taking a skip every few steps excitedly.

"That's right! Good girl."

You walked a little longer, talking about fun things you did with your studies until he had arrived home. After some time you finally arrived at the store and began walking around with a basket, searching for your items. 

"Okay baby, can you go get my cereal and I'll get your milk?" you nodded, skipping off in the direction of the cereals.

You looked up and down, not being able to find it until you got to the last shelf. You tried to get it, only then to realise how high up the shelf actually was. After a few tries, and multiple failures you gave up only to hear a chuckle from beside you.

You looked up to see Hyunjin, coming up beside you and effortlessly grabbing the box, chucking it into the basket.

"What's so funny?" you pouted, ready knowing what he was about to say.

"Nothing sweetie. I just think it's really cute how short you are!"

"H-hey! I'm not short at all!" you said, fake anger lacing your voice as you crossed your arms.

Hyunjin just proceeded to kiss your forehead and take your hand to keep you moving along.

"Yes you are, my short little baby." he chuckled, patting your head. You looked up at him angrily which made him laugh out loud.

Instead of doing nothing, you retorted by calling him a giraffe.

"I-, hey that's not nice. Get here!" he said as you began to run away. He laughed, searching through the aisles to find you.

"I'll get you some day shortie!" he mumbled, a large smile on his face.

Han Jisung

You sat up quick, sweat gathering on your cupid's bow as you awoke from another nightmare.

It had been a long time since you last had one, and it made everything worse when you looked to the left only to see your boyfriend gone.

"D-daddy..?" you muttered, tears gathering in your eyes as you grabbed your quokka stuffie and searched for your caregiver.

As soon as you left the bedroom, you could tell where he was. A crack of light shining through his office door. You walked over and pushed it open to see Jisung sat there, hunched over his laptop with papers lying around everywhere.

When you pushed the door open fully, it creaked loudly making Jisung whip around to see your figure stood before him.

"What are doing up so late, baby? Wasn't it bed time a few hours ago?" he asked, pulling you onto his lap as you shuffled over.

"I was asleep! I just woke up.."

"Why don't you go back to bed? Daddy will be there in a minute, hm?" he asked, and you instantly shook your head no.

"I don't want to sleep anymore..  sleep is bad dada."

"Why? What happened sweetie?" he asked, stroking your hair.

"I had a nightmare.." you whispered, snuggling your face into the crook of his neck.

"Oh baby, you can stay here then. If you need a nap just take one on my lap. I'll finish this up and when we get back to bed daddy will be there to keep you safe. Alright?"

You nodded, a smile gracing your face as you snuggled into him more searching for good dreams to fall asleep to again.

"Good night, babygirl."

Lee Felix

Felix had a hard time getting sleep lately. He'd often wake up for no reason and when trying to get back to sleep it deemed impossible without you by his side.

That's why this week turned out much easier for him. He slept through nearly every night. Apart from one.

Felix's eyes slowly opened as he stretched out, checking the time on his phone to see it was only 2am.

He sighed, tossing and turning a bit before looking toward your sleeping figure.

He really didn't mean to wake you up when he tried snuggling into your arms. It just happened.

"Huh? Can't sleep, daddy?" you sleeping muttered. 

He nodded his head as you brought your hand up to play with his hair gently.

"Mhm, I really need my baby to hold me, you know?" he muttered, getting comfortable in your embrace.

You kissed his forehead as he always did to you and held him close to your chest, continuing to stroke his hair.

"Get some rest." you mumbles as you both drifted off.

He finally fell asleep, smiling in the comfort of your arms.

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin had just put you down to bed, giving him time to get ready on his own time. He really loved you, but he was generally always the kind of person that needed some time to himself at the end of the day.

He stripped of his clothes in the bathroom after having cleaned up most of the house, turning on the warm water of the shower and stepping under it. All tension that had built up slowly etching away.

That's when he heard the door open.

"D-daddy..?" you sobbed, making him instantly worry and pull back the shower curtain. Your trembling form before him.

He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist stepping out and pulling you into his arms.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Anything dada can help with?" he asked, pulling you up onto the bathroom counter and brushing the tears from your face with the pads of his thumbs.

"N-no.. when will you come to bed?" you asked, looking up at him with your tear filled eyes.

"I need to finish my shower and I'll be with you instantly. Do you want to stay sat here until I'm done? So we can know everything's okay?"

You nodded, giving him a tight hug before hugging the Platypus plush that you had been holding to your chest.

Seungmin got back into the shower, going through it as quickly as possible. When he got out he slid the sweats he wanted to wear to bed on, picking you up and carrying you to bed on his hip.

"Now, let's get some good nights rest, okay? If you need anything daddy is here baby." he said, tucking the both of you in before kissing your forehead.

"I'm always going to be there for you." he muttered before you both went to sleep comfortably. All your worries washed away.

Yang Jeongin

It wasn't often you woke up before Jeongin did, but when you did you always tried your hardest to let him get his rest. You didn't like it when your daddy was grumpy.

But today you were excited. It was Easter and you really wanted to go to the Easter egg hunt they were hosting in town.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" You shouted, jumping up and down on your shared bed before falling onto Jeongin's figure, your legs placed on either side of his torso as he slowly woke up.

He gently grabbed you by the shoulders and tugged you down into a warm hug before rolling around and giving you kisses around your cheeks.

"What's this? A little monster coming to wake me up? Who is this small cutie, huh?" he chuckled, pinning you to the bed beneath him.

"It's me, daddy!" you laughed.

"Hm.. you know what happens to monsters who wake up their daddy to early?" Jeongin asked with a smirk.

You shook your head, unsure of what was to come next. Just then you felt two hands at the sides of your stomach.

"They get tickled" he exclaimed, tickling your tummy. You giggled and writhed beneath him.

"Nooo!" you said between giggles.

Jeongin just laughed, stopping to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"My cute little monster." he said, only adoration reflecting in his eyes.

[tracybirds]

Trials Without Error #3

:D :D :D I have been having literal conniptions over this fic for the past few days but!! we are there :DD Huge thanks to @gumnut-logic for all the encouragement on this one :DD How :D excited :D am :D I :D about :D finishing :D ?! :D

John’s POV following a failed rescue. Covers the same events in [1] and [2], but as before you don’t need to read them to read this part and the order literally does not matter

This has been really fun to explore different perspectives on the same events :D Be well!!

------------------------------------------------------------

His suit clung to him, secure against the ravages of space. There was no filtration system connecting him to the environment outside, no way for the smell of burning flesh to penetrate the boundary between skin and nothing.

Nothing. That was what he could do for most of the passengers.

There were those who had been flung into space alongside the venting atmosphere, their deaths short but not fast enough.

There were those that he hadn’t reached in time, their blackened forms twisted in agony.

There was the compartment where he found the atmosphere thick with smoke but undamaged by fire, bodies strewn around the room and synthesised poison in their blood.

There were those he never saw as the fire reached the secondary oxygen tanks before he did.

Eight minutes and forty-three seconds.

They had never stood a chance.

In his dreams, he turned off the radio but still the screams haunted him.

Charged to witness his failures over and over again.

Folded into the nightmare were flashes of other rescues. The face of a little girl in the touring station’s window he’d last seen at the bottom of the Indian Ocean. The mayday cry of a doomed pilot in the Arctic intertwined with that of the tour operator. The proximity alarm as Five hurtled into a field of meteors mixing with the fire alarms ringing uselessly over his comms.

The sound wouldn’t stop, only growing more and more insistent no matter how he fought for control in his head.

He could feel it now, his body was waking up, the soft sheets beneath him, the light scratch of Velcro rubbing against his chest. The sounds faded into the familiar beeps and gentle whirring of Thunderbird Five. The ghosts of yesterday remained fresh even while the vivid images of the dream world faded to grey.

John wrenched his eyes open with a gasp. Hauling himself from the bed, he scrambled to get out of the small bedroom, refusing to look down into the endless dark.

“Lights.”

The bathroom was the only space in the gravity ring with a solid floor, and as he braced himself against the door, he could almost imagine he was back on Earth.

He caught sight of himself in the small mirror and flinched. Dark smudges set deep within pallid skin stared back at him as he tried to slough off the remnants of the long night.

He needed routine, a quiet stability around which he could structure his life for the foreseeable future. Breakfast. Exercise. Systems check. Maintenance. Hope like hell the day was a quiet one.

John stumbled from the bathroom towards the galley. His ears pricked up as he got closer, the familiar sound of the comms closing off audibly in the next section.

He hadn’t heard the chime of an incoming call, but someone must have just missed him. He quickly checked the comm-mail. No message which meant it wasn’t urgent.

He jabbed at the door lock again. This time the galley doors opened with their familiar swoosh and he made his way inside.

He stared blankly at the food storage unit.

Virgil. It must have been Virgil.

John’s eyes roamed over the offerings, trying to imagine eating without them turning to ash in his mouth.

After yesterday, he didn’t have much of an appetite.

The stench of rocket fuel and third degree burns filled his nostrils again and he was trapped, as though acknowledging the day caused it to start over in his mind.

He gripped the handles tightly, trying to breathe through his mouth and regain control over the day.

Routine would be going out the window, he could see that now. This was a problem that demanded attention and he knew what he needed for that.

Abruptly, he pushed away from the food storage unit and left the galley. The more the memories pressed against him, the more he wanted to escape. He didn’t want to see anymore, didn’t want to feel. He broke out into a run, his feet picking out the familiar route to the observatory.

The doors swished open as he put the call through, collapsing on the bench as it connected.

He needed a distraction, he needed a listening ear. He needed a brother.

He could see Virgil, working busily away and barely glancing up as he answered the call.

“Hey, Virgil.” He was too exhausted to hide how heavily the day before was weighing on him.

His brother started, eyes locking on his immediately. He blinked.

“John?”

John hadn’t expected the sudden tears that sprang to his eyes at the sound of his brother’s voice, a calm and steady harbour against the storm.

“Who else?” A laugh stifled the sob that threatened to burst from his chest. He knew he had nothing to hide from Virgil, but with the vast solitude of the universe stretching before him it felt too open, too vulnerable, and too far from home, to entirely let go of his careful control.

“You don’t know any other space station operators around, do you?”

“No, it’s just…”

John’s heart dropped. Automatic apologies and fumbled farewells sprang to his mind as he reached out to sever the connection. He didn’t want to bother Virgil if he was busy.

His brother breathed in deeply and John looked up into a warm smile that swept away all doubts.

“Did you need something?”

“Just some company. Think I could float around for a while?”

Mercifully, Virgil nodded and John slumped forwards against a complicated knot in his heart filled to the brim with anger and grief, balanced by the cool balm of reassurance that he was not alone.

He was content to allow gravity to weigh him down despite his earlier words. Content to stare at the stars and know that his brother would be there if he was needed.

“They really did a number on you yesterday.”

Virgil was quiet and the statement was more pensive than probing, but it still sharpened every memory like a dagger in his mind. He couldn’t stay in that place for long, he hadn’t built up his defences enough for the conversation he knew Virgil was pushing for. He just didn’t have the capacity for a drawn out debrief.

“I’m choosing to forget yesterday.”

A warning, a hope, a prayer that Virgil would drop the subject.

“Scott told me. He wanted to haul you down.”

John looked back over at Virgil, trying to gauge his own thoughts. His brother’s brow was furrowed in obvious concern and he was chewing on his lower lip. John wasn’t ready to return, didn’t want to face the looks of sorrow and pity as he healed.

“Thank you for stopping him.”

“Hold on, I haven’t decided yet.”

“I’m fine.”

Virgil snorted in clear disbelief.

“Yeah, you said earlier.”

He blinked, unsure of the implications of that statement. Was his brother referring to the last time they’d run into such troubles? Had he said something in the haze between mission’s end and deep, dark sleep?

“Did I?”

Virgil’s face fell into a deepening frown.

“John, you signed off with me not twenty minute ago.”

“I was asleep not twenty minutes ago.”

His response was automatic and certain. He hadn’t lost any time. He would have known, he wouldn’t have woken in his own bed otherwise. There had been no confused wanderings in the night, no sudden startled awakening in the hallways leaving him wondering about the time that had slipped away.

In front of him, Virgil was shaking his head.

“We spoke for half an hour, it was definitely you.”

“It can’t have been.”

It can’t have been because John refused to believe things were getting that bad again. Because he refused to live in a world where he couldn’t trust his own mind.

“Well it was. Unless you’re hiding a clone up there to do all the heavy duty. And I haven’t received any panicked calls from Alan about finding you hiding in a cupboard while you were meant to be on the island.”

“Maybe.”

Because Virgil’s voice was light-hearted and masking his worries, and he refused to believe that his brother would lie to him.

He looked up at the camera array, wondering at what his ‘bird had seen. Wondering whose memory it would corroborate and if he truly wanted to know.

Virgil cleared his throat, interrupting John’s thoughts.

“You should come down if you’re sleepwalking again.”

“You don’t think it’s sleepwalking.”

The strain around Virgil’s eyes grew more pronounced. John could see ancient history reflected back at him, those long nights of failure still a point of tension and regret.  

“You already know what I think,” said Virgil. “Come home, John.”

The electronic whirring in the background seemed to grow more intense, as if the entire station was waiting for his answer. This was his home although his brothers didn’t like to hear him say it. He knew every protocol, had made every program and she seemed to hum with renewed life the more complex she became. Station and operator growing together.

The thought of his ‘bird coming alive around him held him back, a surge of energy still thrumming in his veins. He wanted to be there, wanted to watch. He wanted to forget the memories sitting heavy in his gut.

“Just for today?”

There was a desperate plea in his voice, whispering to John that he needed to go home. If only for his brother. He closed his eyes, wrenching himself away from the wild fantasy that gripped him and tied him to his station.

“Okay.”

[raekahwritings]

Shinsou Hitoshi Drabble

Idk man, all my readers can have this drabble I wrote because I think we all know the feelings of being left out. When your friends don’t invite you out but imagining that Shinsou Hitoshi will come to your aid and be the dream guy we all want.

Read more at the cut below.

Pairing: Reader/Shinsou Hitoshi, Rating: All Audiences

“We miss you <3!!!” Your phone dinged with the message, following the inundation of facebook and instagram pictures of your pro-hero friends going out and enjoying themselves at a club.

You nearly threw your phone at the wall. What a load of crap! “You can’t say you miss someone if you didn’t invite them, assholes!” You got to see the blurry pictures of Tamaki and Shindo making out. You saw Todoroki Shoto dancing with Midoriya. Already, paparazzi photos caught Mina and Kirishima leaving together. That and so much more. You thought they were your close friends. Not close enough apparently. You didn’t need them to include you in everything but when everyone, literally, everyone else was there-- it felt like you had been left out on purpose. 

“Fine then!” You stomped on over the to kitchen, grabbing the one thing you had left. Some cheap ramen- which honestly didn’t make you feel any better. You felt worse; was this what your life came to? All your friends having the time of their lives and you were failing life by only having cheap (and probably expired) ramen to assuage your hurt feelings. 

“Come on, Y/N.” You took a deep breath. “They all know you’re tired from work and you wanted a quiet night anyways.” Which you did. You absolutely did. Saying this to yourself though still didn’t make you feel better because when it came down to it, no one remembered you.

You shuffled yourself to the closet, holding onto your expired ramen and looking for the fluffiest blanket you could find. You dragged it over to the couch, wrapping yourself like a angry burrito, and reached for the remote... your fingers hovering listlessly over it. 

You didn’t want to watch anything. You just wanted someone to care and remember you. Am I so easily forgotten? You sniffled a bit, refusing to look anymore at your phone.

But you did hear the doorbell ring, startling you out of your festering self-pity. You didn't bother to get up though, you were sure it was a mistake. Because everyone was at the club while you were being a failed adult. The doorbell rang again.

Feeling a little petty, you decided this wasn’t worth leaving your fluffy burrito home that you’d now forever camp in. “No one is home! Or wants company!” You shouted. You knew it was contradictory but who the fuck cared. You heard some movement but they probably left.

Surprisingly though, your phone rang. You picked it up without a glance to the caller, now in a fouler mood. “Who is this and what do you want?” You snapped onto the phone.

“Y/N, it’s Shinsou Hitoshi.” Ah, one of your ‘friends’ probably at the club. “I need a favor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry? Shinsou? Did you need a ride from the club?" You snarkily said. “Do you need me to drive something ‘forgotten’ over? Am I the last person on the DD phone list? Pray tell, how can I help you?” You knew you were being extra-petty but people needed to know you weren’t a mat to be stomped over.

“I need you to open the door to your apartment.” You ... stopped, a little confused now.

“Uh...” 

“The food’s getting cold every second you take.” You were very confused but the words propelled you to take your blanket burrito with you to open the door. On the other side was your purple-haired scowling friend. Which you were stupified by as he pushed his way in. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Shinsou put the food down on your table, looking at the expired ramen you’d left on the couch. 

“Don’t tell me that’s what you were going to eat.” Shinsou gave you one of the most judging looks you’d ever seen.

“It’s none of your business!” You defended yourself, a bit lamely. “Answer my question first!” 

Shinsou busied himself by taking out all the containers. “I saw your fight earlier in the day. It looked exhausting.” You pulled the blanket closer, taking comfort in its worn folds. 

“It was.” Hence why you wanted a quiet night in.

“So I stopped by the club and I didn’t see you.” 

That’s because no one invited me. But you didn’t say that, even you weren’t childish enough to say that.

“And then I thought to myself, fuck it, I’m gonna get food for us both and check if you were home.” He gestured to your ramen. “Knowing you, you’d go to sleep without taking care of yourself.”

What I’d actually do is sit here and cry by myself. You knew Shinsou couldn’t hear your thoughts but by the way he looked at you, you almost believed he could. 

“What if I wasn’t home?” You... asked after a moment. “Or did you think I’d be home because I’m just so boring that I wouldn’t be at the club?” You couldn’t resist the taunting words out of your mouth. What other reason would you not be at the club with all your mutual friends? 

“The possibility was there.” Shinsou mused. “And then I’d have to eat all this food by myself.” He put two plates and two glasses in between you both.

The sheer normalcy of the conversation was irking you. Because he wasn’t answering the real question.

“Because I’m boring?” You pushed, not even touching your food.

Shinsou settled in on the bar chair. “Because your favorite thing is a blanket and hot chocolate after a long day.” He pulled out a thermos, uncapping it to the smell of marshmallows and the aforementioned drink. “Because you deserve to rest where you feel safe, not in the some stupid club where drunk guys will hit on you all night and you’ll hate your heels and being dolled up.” You do remember telling him that but it was ages ago. How did he remember that? He pushed the food closer to you. “And most of all, your ‘boring’ is the my idea of the best night I could have.” Shinsou reached over, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“Shinsou, how was I ever so lucky to know someone like you?” His words made your eyes water, made tears fall but for a completely different reason.

“I’m here for a lifetime.” The words were solemn, they held the weight of the world to you. But he broke the tension, sighing and gesturing to your food. “Y/N, It’s gonna get cold if you don’t eat it.” 

One day soon, you were going to tell him how much you were in love with him. But that would be courage for another day. Today, you were just so thankful that Shinsou saw you when no one else did, that he remembered you.