#last night i started learning boy division on guitar

[cybertranny]

my chemical romance,,,,,,,,

[letsgetusaghostfriend]

A Green Day concert, a bloody nose and a coming out – Sunset Curve & Green Day I

Summary: Luke and Bobby got them tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd 1994, also known as the night Billie Joe punched a homophobe and Alex came out to the guys.

Friendship fic, super Alex & Bobby centred, Luke and Reggie are not straight but don’t know that yet. Also, I know most people think Alex came out way earlier, but he has to not be out for this story to work.

((warnings: homophobia, homophobic language (not fully written out except in the band name of the opening act), slight violence, mentioned: alcohol, underage drinking (I am german, so for me it’s not underage drinking but yeah), in general: swearing))

word count: 4.9k, read here on AO3 x

~

Luke and Bobby got four tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd in 1994, it was one of Green Day’s bigger shows at that time. The boys previously have been to other concerts of the band, but the last one was in a small club in ’92, of course, all four of them being way too young for that place. Luke and Reggie were the first ones out of their group to get fake ID’s, mainly to go to gigs and play gigs. In the beginning, Alex thought he would never do the same, too scared of possible consequences, but then Luke used his stupid puppy eyes. (They still work even after Alex crush died, dead and buried). And if he was being honest, it was really helpful for playing clubs if the owners can at least pretend that they believe the four boys are old enough to be there.

Alex was aware that Green Day’s opening act, Pansy Division, was an all-gay band. And he was excited and scared at the same time. He found out because this one kid in his English class, Josh, went to the San Diego show earlier that week and told one of his friends that he shouldn’t go to the LA show as Green Day was just a bunch of “f*g lovers” and not worth their time. So Alex was scared: what if his friends would say the same thing?

They arrive late and the line is massive, Alex anxiety pitches in and reminds him that if it takes too long for them to get inside, he might miss Pansy Divisions performance. Logically he knows that they wouldn’t start letting people in so late that the opening band already starts when most people are not inside yet, but his anxiety is not that into logical thinking. He can’t help being fidgety, at one point Luke noticed and asks him if the crowd is making him uncomfortable. “Yeah, a little bit” Alex responds, not wanting further questions about why he was so anxious. The boys keep close to the bar, staying in the back first, not too excited to get into the crowd just yet. Alex knows the others would be inside the first mosh pit if it wasn’t for his anxiety, but not once did they show any signs of annoyance about his hesitancy. They just patiently wait for Alex to get used to the crowd and atmosphere, never angry when he has a bad day and he never signals that it is okay for them to go into the more crowded areas. Sometimes, especially when Luke doesn’t know where to put his energy he and Reggie go, but they always make sure that at least one person stays with Alex. He probably should tell them how thankful he is for this more often (the others would disagree here since they feel like Alex thanks them too much).

When Pansy Division started playing Alex didn’t expect them to actually sing about hooking up with guys at rock concerts, loving men, having real, deep and meaningful relationships and just, in general, doing normal daily life stuff, living with a boyfriend and how it feels after a breakup. He feels so excited, almost jumping up and down to the beat, not able to put his excited energy out on the drums like he would if it was their own concert. Alex completely forgets to check the guys for any reactions, too involved in the music. He doesn’t see that the other three boys enjoy Pansy Divisions music just as much as he does. He doesn’t see Bobby eyeing him from the side, a knowing glint in his eye.

Alex doesn’t know that Bobby saw the way Alex would look at Luke when they were 14, at Brian from History when they were 15, and how he sometimes looks at pictures from Billie Joe Armstrong in magazines. Bobby also didn’t miss Alex’ obsession with the song Coming Clean. The other boys sometimes forget about how Bobby’s parents are genuine open-minded people, who introduce him to a lot more diverse people than his friends’ parents do. So yes, maybe Alex was discreet enough for Mr Luke Oblivious Patterson and Captain Reg Oblivious Peters, and his parents who anyway only see what they want to see, but not for Bobby. Bobby, who might from an outsider’s perspective looks like he is standing a bit outside this friendship group due to him being less loud and sociable than his friends, but Bobby who loves his friends with all his heart, Bobby who truly sees his friends and knows that this is where he belongs. Seeing the absolute bliss, happiness and excitement streaming from Alex like waves is contagious.

After Pansy Division finished their set and there was a short break before Green Day would start theirs, Bobby slips from their group, mumbling that he would get another beer. Instead, he goes to buy Pansy Divisions EP, because the band was genuinely good but mostly because he knows Alex wouldn’t buy it, but he will definitely want it. On his way to the little corner where they sell the Green Day merch as well as Pansy Division stuff, Bobby realises that it was actually packed, but he soon saw that it was just a long long line for the Green Day merch. Actually, there are so many people he can’t even see the Green Day merch salesperson. He manages to get to the guy who took care of the Pansy Division stuff, he greets him with a head nod and a short “hey”, while scrambling his money out of his pant pockets to count it. He’ll have to nick a bit off of Luke’s beer later, not having enough money left to buy another one. When he reaches out to hand out the money for the CD somebody joins the guy who cared for the merch. Bobby recognises that it’s the singer of Pansy Division and he smiles at him. “Great performance, really enjoyed you guys’ music!”. The singer grins at that and holds out his left hand, which Bobby finds a bit strange, but takes it nonetheless.

“Jon, nice to meet you.”

“Bobby, pleasure is all mine.”

“Ah, you’re a musician yourself!” Jon says while checking out Bobby as if he could tell whether the kid in front of him was any good based on his appearance. It took the guitarist a second to realise that Jon must’ve felt his calloused fingers from playing the guitar during the handshake. “Yeah, I’m actually here with my bandmates.” A voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Reggie tunes in with “We’re Sunset Curve, tell your friends.” But Bobby pretty much felt like a child trying to play in the adults’ league, so he doesn’t say anything else. Jon grabs the CD he was about to buy and opens it while asking “So Bobby, is the CD for you or someone else?” Taken aback by that question Bobby tells him without thinking “We kind of always share records. Em, so maybe Sunset Curve?” Jon who was about to sign the inside of the CD case, pauses and looks up again “You’re in Sunset Curve?”

“Yeah, rhythm guitar.” He answers without much of a thought, it takes him two seconds then he adds: “You’ve heard of us?” Jon chuckles at Bobby’s shocked tone.

“Saw you play a few months ago. Didn’t remember your name till Mike mentioned one of your songs, always called you “the band with the cute drummer” actually.” Jon casually explained to a still shell-shocked Bobby. The comment about Alex makes him choke on his own spit though. Jon smirks, but before he can say more Bobby’s mouth starts talking before his brain gave its okay: “You saw us well enough to say that Alex is cute, but you didn’t recognise me?” After the words left his mouth, he feels his face heat up.

‘Way to embarrass yourself by having too much of an ego, Robert, great job’, he thought to himself. But Jon again laughs it off, as if he made a funny joke, smirks and asks if Alex was here tonight.

“He is,” Bobby says, voice cold, “he is also sixteen.”

Now it was Jon’s time to look embarrassed. “Oh shit, never mind then.” He pauses. “Sixteen is a bit young to play that club you played, isn’t it?” He pauses again. “You guys take this whole music thing seriously, I like that!”

More at ease again after Jon’s reaction to Alex’ age, Bobby’s brain finally catches up with everything Jon said before he called Alex cute.

“Wait, Mike as in Mike Dirnt? As in Mike Dirnt mentioned one of our songs?” he asks astounded. Jon laughs at the utter bewilderment that the younger one’s face was showing. But before he could say something about it a loud voice behind Bobby sneers: “Oh look at that, Bobby the f*g lover.” He turns around and sees Andrew from his math class. “Always knew at least one of you would be a shirt lifter!”

Bobby tries to take a deep breath before he answers but Jon beats him to it. “I would really think people were clever enough to listen to lyrics, but you still find the poser ones at these concerts, especially since Dookie got Green Day so popular outside of the scene!” Bobby needed a few seconds to realise that Jon wasn’t even talking to Andrew but instead just talked about him to Bobby and the guy selling the merch.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that you fucking fairy!” Andrew sneers, stepping closer to Jon. As soon as Andrews anger is directed towards Jon and not Bobby anymore, the guitarists fight instinct kicks in.

“Fairy? Really?” he asks Andrew with a snigger in his voice, “Didn’t know we live in the 50s, Andrew. Learned all these terms from your daddy?” Bobby tries to make his voice sound as degrading as possible. For a second it seems like Andrew might shut up and leave but then Jon starts laughing loudly about Bobby’s comments and before anyone can react Andrew takes a swing and hits Jon right on the mouth. Without thinking, Bobby copies his action and the next thing he knows is that his hand hurts and Andrew has a red square on the side of his face. He glares at the guitarist and strikes again. This time the fist hits Bobby’s nose and he sees black stars in front of his eyes for a few seconds. After that, all hell is breaking loose and Bobby is being pushed around for what feels like a few minutes before he gets pulled aside and finds himself behind the selling booth with Jon by his side who has a busted lip that is still bleeding. Jon has a hand on the teen's shoulder and looks worried at him. “Fuck your nose does not look too good!” he says. Hearing the words Bobby brings his hand up to his nose and winces when he feels a sharp pain as soon as his fingers touch his nose. “Fuuuuuuuuck, Alex is going to kill me!” he groans at the thought of how the blond will react to seeing Bobby like this.

“Hey man, good punch you got on the dickhead there!” an excited voice states beside Bobby, which makes him turn his head probably a bit too quick, considering he just got punched in the face a few minutes before. But the guitarists' instincts were right: standing beside him was no other than Green Days’ singer, Billie Joe Armstrong. The blond (with fading blue in his hair) is smiling at Bobby and continues with “but I think mine was even better” while pointing at something behind Bobby, who turns around just in time to see security carrying a half-conscious Andrew out of the venue.

“You know that guy?”

“He goes to my school!” Bobby answers, still in awe looking after Andrew.

“Oh, you need to tell me about how he looks tomorrow, man I don’t miss high school but I’d love to go to school just to see that!” Billie Joe tells him and Jon, still sounding way too excited. When Bobby turns around again to look at the two musicians in front of him, he catches Jon telling Billie Joe that Bobby is part of the band they talked about the other day. Somehow getting even more excited by the news he fully turns back to Bobby. “Love that! We need more good people in this scene so we can make sure the music stays clean of dudes like that! Well, it was lovely punching homophobes with you Bobby, but I actually have a concert to play!”

And with that Billie Joe is gone through the door leading to the backstage area and Bobby looks at Jon hoping that he can find answers with him (like is he hallucinating?) but he just chuckles at the teenagers in awe face and takes the CD Bobby wanted to buy all along, as well as the money he had already paid and hands both back at the teen with the words “I think you paid enough for this already, thanks for sticking up for me!” And adding, when Bobby tries to give the money back again, “You better go so your bandmates don’t worry and you don’t miss the Green Day show!” Bobby thanks him and with a smile he makes his way back to the other boys while putting the money and the CD into his pockets.

When Alex finally sees Bobby come back to them, he feels relief washing over him. Alex always hates it when they split especially if one of them is on their own and Bobby has been gone for way too long. The first thing Alex notices is that Bobby doesn’t carry any beer or anything else that he could’ve brought from a bar, the second thing is that Bobby’s nose is bleeding. The easing relief is instantly replaced by worry as Alex's brain catches up with his eyes. As soon as the guitarist reaches them Alex starts searching his fanny pack for tissues and anything else that can help with a bloody nose, all while berating Bobby about getting into a fight. Reggie and Luke excitedly ask Bobby about it, but when their bleeding bandmate tries to tell them about what happened Alex just shushes him and gestures for him to look up so that he can take a better look at his nose. While Alex is still cleaning up Bobby’s face the crowd starts cheering and Alex turns around quickly to confirm his suspicion that the main act finally made it on stage. He keeps on cleaning his friends face from now slightly dried blood when he hears Billie Joe's voice over the speakers.

“Sorry guys, I know we’re late, but I had to punch a homophobe…” The rest of the sentence does not reach Alex’ brain as he looks at one of his best friends, whose nose was bleeding after obviously being punched and all he can hear is white noise, while the realisation, that Bobby being the homophobe who was just punched by Green Days’ singer, sets in. He feels a sharp sting in his chest all while feeling overwhelmed by fear, cold naked fear. And his thoughts race through his brain, too fast to actually make any sense, all he knows is that his worst nightmare seems to be coming true: the people he trusts the most will eventually leave him. They will hate him. They will think he is disgusting, and they will leave him. Unconsciously he takes a step back from Bobby, taking both his hands off his friends face but before he can totally spiral into his thoughts, he is caught by Bobby who holds the drummer by his wrists and looks at him like Alex offended him deeply.

“Seriously?” Bobby’s voice comes out sharper than he probably intended, softening his tone as he sees Alex flinch at him, “You actually think I am homophobic? Fuck Alex do you really think that poorly of me?” The guitarists' words and face are both filled with what Alex can only describe as hurt. Bobby attempts to say more but he is cut off by Billie Joe's voice coming over the speakers saying his name.

“A special thanks to Bobby from Sunset Curve! Make sure you check them out they’re a local band that’ll make it big one day, I’ll promise you! I swear, give them less than a year and they’ll be playing here on this very stage! Thanks, Bobby, for helping me punch a dickhead!” And with that they start into their first song, leaving the boys standing completely mind blown in the back, each one trying to comprehend what just happened. After a few seconds, Reggie, Luke and Alex all turn to Bobby with questioning faces, but Bobby concentrates on Alex’ face. “Do you believe me now?” When Alex nods the, still bleeding, guitarist feels relief wash over him. “Good! Because I already have your Christmas present and I literally know no one else who has the same taste that you have!” He actually manages to make Alex smile with his stupid comment, feeling like they might be okay again, he holds onto Alex’ sleeve, needing something to ground him, knowing that Alex is uncomfortable with public affection. He turns to Luke and Reggie who as soon as they have his attention try to bombard him with questions, but he stops them and promises to tell them later.

___

After the concert:

When they leave the venue, a wave of, for L.A. unusually cold air, hits Bobby’s face and clears his head a little, making it easier to think about everything that had happened. As he was the first one out of the four to step out in the cold air, he takes a deep breath before turning around to see the other three boys walk up to him. He notices that Alex pulls his jean jacket tighter around his body, clearly not enjoying the cold air as Bobby does. He smiles at Bobby and then follows Reg and Luke who started walking towards the side street where they parked the van before the concert. The two boys talk animatedly about the Green Days show, analysing every detail. Seeing one of their favourite bands live did distract the two enough for them to not ask any further questions, right now. Alex smile tells Bobby that the same did not count for the blonde boy. Bobby jogs up to Alex to walk beside him, but when he tries to initiate a conversation with his bandmate, the blonde just shakes his head and mumbles, that he has things to think, but as if to calm Bobby down, Alex takes his hand and squeezes it before they reach their van. The van they brought because they actually started to be able to book enough gigs to pay for it (and to actually need it), they all paid for it, even though they don’t talk about the fact that Bobby paid the biggest part, with him having the only parents who actually support the band.

Bobby is driving, with Alex in the passenger seat lost in his thoughts and Luke and Reggie in the back, trying to get Bobby to finally tell them about what happened at the venue. The guitarist promises to tell them as soon as they arrive at the garage, but despite the impatience from Luke and Reggie to find out about everything they still have a quick stop at a small diner on their way home to get their after-concert food.

Alex, Reggie and Luke all go straight for the couch while bobby prefers sitting on the floor, facing them. For a few seconds they all munch happily but soon Luke starts bugging Bobby about what happened at the club, so he puts his sandwich aside and takes a short breath. He doesn’t know where to start, he kind of wants Alex to know that he got the CD for him, but he doesn’t want to put any pressure on Alex, nor does he want the other two to find out about Alex liking boys before Alex wants them to.

“So,” Bobby starts, “we all really liked Pansy Division, right?” he asks with a nervous laugh tinting his words. He looks at the three boys on the couch for confirmation and gets it from two of the boys while Alex looks like he gets scared by the simple indication that he might have really liked the queer band they all saw tonight. Bobby acts like he didn’t see it while deciding, that he won’t tell the blond that Jon was hitting on him. That might be a bit much information for one night. “Well, I thought,” he continues while pulling out the CD he brought earlier “I’ll get us their CD.” He waves the CD then places it on the table in front of the couch so the guys can look at it.

“And that’s where I met one of the band members, Jon, he is the singer.” He looks up at his friends who all stare at him with a mixture of shock and curiosity on their faces, even Alex nervousness seems replaced. ‘I didn’t even get to the really shocking parts yet’, Bobby thought to himself.

“Okay, so we got talking, he found out I play in a band and when he asks for a name to use to sign the CD I just said Sunset Curve, because we always share records, like I mean I don’t even know who owns what anymore!” Luke looks dead serious while nodding his head, Alex starts smiling slightly and Reggie looks like he is trying really hard to separate their shared music collection in his head.

“Anyway, it turns out he saw one of our shows earlier this year and apparently, he was talking about one of our songs with Mike, but before you get too excited, I couldn’t ask him about it because that dick Andrew from my math class interrupted us. He called me a – eh, never mind” he stops himself, giving Alex a short glance – “he started calling me and Jon names and I kind of started making fun of him for using really outdated terms and when Jon laughed about that, Andrew hit him and then I hit Andrew and he hit me back and suddenly everything got crazy. Next thing I know is that I am behind the merch booth with Jon and Billie Joe Armstrong, and Andrew is being carried outside by security.” He tries to rush the words out fast enough so that Luke doesn’t stop him because of the band being recognised and Alex doesn’t stop him because he hit someone.

“And then Billie Joe finds out I am in Sunset Curve and he says something about it being good that more good people will keep the scene going or something and then he pretty much left to play the show and Jon gave me the CD and I went back to you guys so you wouldn’t worry too much.” When he finally finishes his story, he is staring at three really shocked looking faces.

“Mike Dirnt and Billie Joe both know of Sunset Curve?”

“Who knew Bobby is such a badass!”

“You hit Andrew?”

All three started talking at the same time, but then Alex stands up and he looks real mad and everyone else shuts up. Bobby looks at him. “Alex, I didn’t plan to, it just happened. I got so mad when he started calling Jon these awful names and when he hit him, I just snapped.”

“What about our no fighting rule, huh?”

“So, when someone is being super homophobic, I am just supposed to do nothing?”

At that moment Bobby realises that Alex didn’t process until now that Andrew was using homophobic slurs against Bobby and Jon. He sees Alex anger vanish from him in mere seconds, replaced by fear and sadness settling in his eyes. Lips pressed into a thin line Alex sits down on the couch again. It breaks Bobby’s heart to see his friend like this. They all stay silent for a while.

“What did he say?” Alex asks with a voice so quiet Bobby almost misses it.

“Alex,” he sighs, “I am pretty sure you don’t want to know!”

With that Alex's eyes, which were glued to his hands before, snap up and meet Bobby’s. “You know, don’t you?” Alex asks Bobby, seemingly completely forgetting that the other boys are in the room.

Bobby does not know what to answer, not wanting to make Alex come out because he feels like he has to, or because Bobby figured it out already. “I only know what you want me to know, everything else is just a hunch.” He finally settles on.

Alex laughs. “So, you definitely know, and I actually thought I was being subtle.”

“I still love you, you know that, right?” Bobby just needs Alex to know that. Even if this is a weird one, Bobby wants this to be the reaction Alex gets for his first coming out.

It takes Alex a few seconds but finally, he looks up again, searching Bobby’s face for any trace of him lying. As Alex realises that the boy in front of him means what he said he feels like the biggest wave of relief washes over him. This, black-haired, awkward and quiet boy in front of him, who buys CD’s from queer bands, punches one of his classmates because he was being a homophobic bigot to a complete stranger and whose first reaction to Alex half-assed coming out is to tell him that he still loves him. This boy, who is so uncomfortable with most people touching him, who still wants to hold all of their hands all the time, calling them grounding. This boy, who would probably punch more people to protect them because he gets crazy protective about the people he cares about. And suddenly it’s difficult not to start crying and Alex feels like his voice will break if he tries to talk so he just nods.

And in that second, knowing he has Bobby on his side for this, he decides that he wants them all to know. So, he gets up from the couch and “gets on the runway” as Luke likes to call Alex’ nervous walking occasionally. After walking up and down three times, he suddenly stops, turns to Luke and Reg who look super confused by what is happening and he blurts out “Iamgay” so fast that there was no way that any of the guys could’ve understood a single word. So, he takes a deep breath and repeats: “I am gay” while standing there, eyes closed, and breath held.

“Oh, that…” Luke starts, but he gets interrupted by Reggie who says: “That makes so much sense, that is why you were staring at Brian so much last year! That really confused me, man!”

“I was... I was not staring at Brian Denver!” Alex sputters embarrassment creeping in his cheeks.

“You totally were, you even knew who Reg was talking about right away!” Luke laughs and gets up to pull Alex in a big hug, squeezing him tight. Reggie gets a hold of them and pulls them down on the couch where he squeezes between them, and wooshes through Alex’ hair affectionately. Alex, now half sitting on the couch and half lying on Reggie looks up to Bobby, who stands awkwardly in front of the couch. As the other two notice Bobby as well they all kind of freeze in their cuddle pile. Even as Bobby was more comfortable touching his bandmates than he was with touching his parents, or literally anyone else, he still never expressed any interest in being part of a cuddle pile before. Seeing how all of his friends stopped as he approached, the guitarist started taking a step back, but Alex stopped him by holding out his hand for Bobby to take. It takes him a few seconds but finally, he lets himself being pulled on top of Alex into the cuddle pile and even though it feels strange at first he likes the feeling of Alex’ soft t-shirt under his cheek, Reggie’s arm around his waist and the smell of Luke’s cologne.

Later that night Bobby snatches a picture of his best friends still cuddling on the couch hours later, now all fast asleep. He hasn’t shown that picture to anyone except for his daughter when she finds out about the band 25 years later and he decides to tell her about the loves of his life, even if most people wouldn’t recognise them as it since it was purely platonic love. And even though he got married, he never loved anyone as much, with the exception of his daughter, as he loved the three boys who left him when he was just 17 years old.

The next day Bobby snatches a picture of Andrews black eye. He shows that picture to Billie Joe, backstage at an event he attempts without his best friends after the man recognises him as the kid with whom he punched a homophobe. After that Bobby leaves the event early, not being able to hold up the image of Trevor, too consumed by grieve and guilt. Guilt over not being able to protect them. Guilt over not dying with them. Guilt over using their songs.

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[wfdwqfw]

On what evidence would a man rely to prove

Recently in Los Angeles, our staff was on the ground Delivering Good by personally handing out sandwiches and new socks to homeless men and women. This my own consciousness of truth would not allow, in the present instance. Teams will have their first opportunity to come together on Sunday, September 20th as the organization hosts the 2nd Annual Run The Park 5K and 1 Mile Fun Run in Ridley Park, PA. “Here is your sword in the darkness.” Light rippled up and down the blade, now red, now yellow, now orange, painting the king’s face in harsh, bright hues. It includes a 1955 telephone switchboard where visitors will learn about the first telephone operators and the days when they were necessary to complete a call. On what evidence would a man rely to prove that slavery existed at all in the land in the time of the batteria ai polimeri di litio amazon later prophets of the Maccabees, or when the Saviour appeared? There are abundant proofs, as we shall see, that it existed legjobb kutyaruha esőkabát in Greece and Rome; but what is the evidence that it existed in Judea? So far as I have been able to ascertain, there are no declarations that it did to be found in the canonical books chaussure rando salomon homme decathlon of the Old Testament, or in Josephus. Never forget when I walked out in the middle of the room and, may he rest in peace, Ray Nitschke adidas mariposas looked at me because I was a surprise guest, and he said, s of a b is still alive. “I will not stay here to be mickey egeres babakocsi insulted.” He wrenched his damp cloak down from the wall so hard that Asha heard it tear, then stalked past Horpe and through the door. The custom was to blow the horn early in the morning, as a signal for the hands to rise and go to work. Ben Carey started the rush and George Michalke took the puck down low. I was astounded. You have doubtless also read that world-renowned book, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” by Mrs. "The evening is the red carpet/black tie event of the season and features a champagne reception, arts patronage, bubbles and culture in your own backyard.Surrey Hospital Outpatient Centre Foundation hosts annual Celebration of Care Fundraising Gala on Saturday, March 4 at Boundary Bay Airport, Delta. When she had gone, all at once the hall seemed stifling. Tarly is the real danger, Ser Kevan reflected as he watched their departure. My father was very clever. He had on when he left a black cloth cap, black cloth pantaloons, a plaided sack coat, a fine shirt, and brogan shoes. A house or other substantial building offers the best protection from lightning. And on Saturday she was out at the biciclete rusesti vechi stores again."I'm basically done," said Maguire, who spent about $400 over the weekend. The prince’s cloak was sewn together from more of the same. Deciding what to do when a boy runs into the road). At the Walmart adidas 43 1 3on N. In recent years there have been claims around electromagnetism as a way to alter the body and promote healing. I immediately commenced copying them, and in a short time was able to make the four letters named. A doctor or physical therapist can prescribe a set of exercises designed to do just that for your affected joint. Do not forget if it can be done to the people of Gush Katif , it could happen to us. OG reported 1,416 customers lost power in the Sapulpa and Kiefer areas. He then enlisted into full time duty with the 45th Infantry Division in Army aviation. We could not make it any easier you only need 13 out of 25 to pass and they are all multipul choice.. Without falling into a severe depression?" asked David Evans, the Washington based military correspondent of the Chicago Tribune. Though I’d be the first to leave it if occasion arose. This year's tournament lived up to all its

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[sroloc--elbisivni]

It’s been three months since my dad died.

I think about him every day. Never in the same way twice. Sometimes it’s like last night, where I started remembering the way he grinned and the way he made salmon and how much I miss him and start crying into my pillow. Sometimes it’s like today, where I feel numb and dull and empty until I realize it’s been a quarter of a year and I’m not going to do anything for the rest of my life but get further and further away from him, and the person I was when I knew him. And then I start crying on a plywood platform thirty feet off the ground at work.

I’ve been working a lot this week. This whole semester, really. I’ve wanted to be busy. I’ve wanted to not think about things. And I hate it, because I know that thinking about him is one of the only ways he’ll get fully remembered, and I’m too afraid of getting lost in missing him, and I need to move on and be in the world and I don’t always want to.

But the further away I get, the more I lose. So let me tell you about my dad.

‘You’ being, the general world I guess. You don’t need to read this. I just need to say it. Pretend I can shout at the world “A GOOD MAN IS DEAD” and have it matter.

My dad was born in Grand Forks, North Dakota, and he had the state in his bones—one time I needed to know what city for paperwork, and I texted him to ask if it was Fargo, and he said “No, the other big eastern city.” He understood blizzards and thunderstorms and dressing for the cold, and he taught them to my brother and me even though we were growing up in coastal California, where only one of those happened, and then rarely.

He was brilliant. If you want to know anything about my dad, it was that he was brilliant, and he was kind, and he was loving. He also had several small strokes at the end of his life that meant he didn’t remember or retain things well, and that he got more irritable, and reclusive, and locked into routine. We didn’t know about the smaller strokes until a month before the one that would kill him. Just that he was getting more distant.

My dad was prickly at the oddest times, and he had a temper, and he hated telemarketers, and bad drivers. He lashed out when he got mad and got sulky when you lashed back. He could snipe, and pick at things you didn’t even realize you were sore about, and didn’t know how to listen to a problem without trying to fix it.

He was good at fixing problems. He would take apart a toaster to fish out a burnt piece of bread, and study up on the riding lawnmower engine and go at the engine over and over again, and learned like he breathed. He wanted to write a book about learning, about the way we think and how it actually works, and what thinking is and what learning is and therefore what teaching should be. He believed that learning was just patterns of action. He and my mother literally wrote a book on how to teach in a way that built things up, rather than trying to pick at people’s behavior until they did what you wanted.

My dad was a teacher. He was a wonderful teacher. He taught me how to ride a bike, and drive a car, even when I was yelling at him, and he taught me how mean, median, and mode worked for a third grade science project. He helped talk me through algebra, and fractions, and division. He tried to teach me editing, but that went badly, because I was fourteen and had decided I knew what was best, and he never knew how to let things he cared about go.

He was a teacher for all of his adult life, even though he only ended up in the teacher’s program at his college because he took the RA’s keys after the RA left them lying around and he thought that was irresponsible, and the authority in charge of his punishment was his mother’s friend and also the Dean of Education. He stayed in the education program at the University of North Dakota for the next several years, helped found the school’s first no-hazing fraternity, found a skull with some friends at an archaeological dig site and held onto it for a couple years, went nocturnal for a while, and wrote his dissertation on the way we learn and the history of education. He talked about cave paintings, as early human abstract thought, but he didn’t get to see them until last year, when we went to France. My brother and I had to make sure he didn’t fall, as we went down into the cave, because it was rough and sloping and he was unsteady on feet he couldn’t quite feel anymore.

My dad had diabetes. My dad loved food. By the end of his life, he had lost feeling almost all the way to his knees, and insulin was taking up more room in our fridge than the eggs and milk put together. He was a great believer in the power of ice cream, as a special treat or just to hide in the fridge for when you wanted a taste. His favorite food that I baked was chocolate chip cookies. I made them with his mom’s recipe. Every time i was baking, he’d walk by and try to steal a piece. He stole popcorn every time we made some, too. Called it a ‘popcorn tax’. He used food as a love language, which made it awkward every time you ended up stopping on the way home for dinner without him, on a night he was cooking. He loved going out to eat, and would always talk to the waiter. He would always talk to anyone, really. More than the rest of us would like. My brother and i would always complain that he didn’t have to tell people our whole story, that they didn’t care. But he cared, and sometimes strangers did too, and sometimes they became friends.

My dad loved having friends. He loved knowing people, and talking to them, and learning from them and teaching them. He loved people, but had the misfortune of marrying an introvert and fathering two more. He was the popular kid in high school, on the football team and the newspaper. It was a Catholic high school—he was a Catholic until college, and then he started asking a lot of questions and never really went back. But he remembered all the theory, and all the questions, and all the things they tried to answer, and he could tell you about them if you wanted to know. My mom remembers when he met her aunt for the first time, a former nun, and they spent a good hour debating the finer points of something she couldn’t understand and barely remembered about the Holy Stations. He was good at that, at making you feel in every conversation that he was looking right at you, and interested in what he saw.

He got his doctorate in education, moved to Colorado, learned to ski, learned to parallel park—at 38, something I never failed to bring up when he was trying to teach me to drive—got married, became a step-father, started a charter school, had a wonderful couple of years teaching things the way he felt people would learn them, worked a paper route to try and keep it going, closed the school, dressed his stepkids up as Jawas for Halloween, got divorced—not necessarily in that order. I wish I’d asked my dad more about this part of his life. All I have are unconnected stories. Eventually he went back to North Dakota, and met my mom, and they spent the rest of his life together as “itinerant academics,” trading off who found a job at another university when they wanted to move. They got married at a courthouse two days before Christmas, because my dad needed health insurance and Mercury was going into retrograde. They had a kid in St. Paul and another in Tacoma. They were progressive educators, at a time when that wasn’t a comfortable thing to be in the Northern Midwest, and they made the giraffe their mascot because they kept ‘sticking their necks out’. I didn’t really appreciate that my parents were rebels against a system until I found out that in his first year of teaching, my dad and his friend had adjoining classrooms, and they came in with sledgehammers one weekend and knocked down the wall so they could have a big open classroom.

I found that out at his funeral. So many people my parents know are scattered all over the country, which is great for road trips and hard for gathering. They sent stories instead.

My dad played the guitar, and he sang in his first year of college—at a Catholic school choir, before he transferred, and the Beach Boys on the bus. He loved the Grateful Dead, and Jimmy Buffet, and the Eagles, and Peter Paul and Mary, and the Kingston Trio, and Bob Dylan, and he loved singing along in the car and dancing along in the kitchen, shuffle-step bouncing to the beat. He wore a sweatshirt with the logo of the elementary school my brother and I went to for fifteen years at least, from the time I was in kindergarten to the time he died. I remember it getting covered with cat hair, after the cat followed us on a walk to school too far to turn around and take her home, so he picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. She shed in terror. He used to carry the little half size cello I started learning on to school and back, every Wednesday and Friday, on his back making jokes about being a Sherpa.

My dad liked jokes. My dad liked to laugh. He loved comic strips, and insisted that my brother and I be allowed to read as many as we wanted. Probably the reason he and I got so very good at reading. I would recite Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield and Baby Blues to him, retelling what I remembered and hoping he’d laugh at the punchline. I’d show him things I found on the Internet when I got older, still trying and trying to make him laugh. I was less and less successful over time.

He was excited about the new Star Wars movies. I remember him telling me from his computer in his office, showing me the article. I remember going to the midnight showing of Episode VII, but not VIII—he couldn’t stay up that late. We saw Rogue One with my uncle, weeks after it came out. My dad was always the one who took us to movies as a kid. He liked stories. He liked to have fun. He liked Terry Pratchett and Robert B Parker novels and books about how the universe worked that took him months to finish. He had a brother, a younger brother, and lost him months after he lost his dad, years after he lost his mom. He saved things from them—the couch he grew up with, half a dozen chairs, boxes and boxes of books and records, a flag on the wall, a breakfront with china in it, all kinds of other keepsakes. My dad liked things. liked to save things. Liked to remember people—and he had a good memory. Up until the end.  I came out to him about my gender six times, because he just couldn’t retain it when I told him. and every single time, he was supportive, and careful, and kind, even when he didn’t understand.

He loved our dog so much. He would make her food just so, with kibble and wet food and bacon grease all mixed together and heated in the microwave just so she’d like it. He used to take her on walks, every single day, and took her everywhere in the car with him. They walked on the beach a lot. My dad loved the beach, probably because he lived so far away from it until he was 51. I was born when he was 52.

My dad worried a lot about math education. how people get traumatized by math, and when they become teachers and parents, they pass on that learning math is hard. He worked for UC Berkeley for years, running a program to give engineering students the skills to become teachers. He ran a summer camp in Emeryville for STEM for high schoolers. Or…middle schoolers? I don’t remember anymore. He made these math models, abaci and blocks that showed ones and twos and tens and how numbers fit together into bigger numbers, and then he painted them all the colors of the rainbow so they wouldn’t be scary. So they’d be toys, something fun and beautiful and clever.

There are so many more things, about what a full and beautiful and complicated human he was that I can’t pull to mind or don’t have the words for, but I need you to know he was more than everything I’ve managed to pour here. 

He wasn’t perfect, but he was the best dad I could have had. He was smart enough to answer all the questions I asked him, and he gave wonderful hugs, and he loved with a heart as big and open as the prairie sky. And I miss him, so, so, much, and it hurts to think of how I’ve been missing him for a long time, as little pieces of him broke off and drifted away when we weren’t noticing.

His name was George W. Gagnon, Junior. People called him ’Sandy’ as a kid to keep him distinct from his dad, because he had blonde hair as a baby. When I was little, it was dark, dark brown on the sides and circling the bald top. In the beginning of July it was a snowy white.

He’s my dad, and he’s gone, and I’ve spent the past three months knowing that I’m never going to go home again, not really. And knowing that ‘family’ is too big and whole a word to fill with what we have left.

I can’t cry in front of other people anymore. And I don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling, or what the world is like now. I just want people to know.

A good man is dead. He loved, and was loved, and laughed, and learned, and ate good food and made bad jokes. And even after writing all of that—I still miss him, and he’s still gone.

[sonodaten]

Answer 21 questions, tag 21 people you would like to know better

Thanks for the tag @glitchgeek!

1. Nickname(s)- Just Daten is fine

2. Zodiac Sign- Pisces Sun

3. Height- 5′5″ AND PROUD!

4. Hogwarts House- Gryffindor, as sorted by 3 separate BuzzFeed quizzes AND the Pottermore quiz.

5. The last thing you googled- “you lock and load your eyes on me” they were lyrics to a song I was looking for (song if you’re interested)

6. Favorite musician(s)- P!ATD, The Maine, Hozier, Fall Out Boy, Bastille, Florence + The Machine, Lizzo, Janelle Monae, Little Mix

7. Song Stuck In Your Head- JUICE BY LIZZO PLEASE GO LISTEN TO IT

8. Following now- 169 (heh)

9. Followers- 188 WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

10. Do I Get Asks- Not often. Sometimes I do if I post like a theory or something, but I haven’t gotten any in a while

11. Amount of Sleep- I’ve been trying harder to get 7-8 a night recently bc I get up at 7 AM every day for work and getting less than that everday is k i l l i n g me

12- Lucky number- 3

13- What I’m Wearing- Uh, funnel neck sweater and jeans

14. Dream Job- God, I wish I knew. I want to finish getting my PhD in Neuroscience but like . . . the more I think about it, the less I know what I actually want to DO with it. Like the only reason I’m getting it is because when I was a kid people would tell me like “you’re so smart! you should get your doctorate!” and I was like “okay.” Tbh if I could just write and create for a living I would; this whole “publish or perish” thing might actually kill me one day.

15. Dream Trip- We have family in the Philippines, and we grew up with a very general/vague understanding of the culture and I recently started learning more, so if I can learn the language, I’d like to visit just to see where my family came from.

16. Favorite Food- Nothing better than Korean Barbecue chicken and broccoli using my Dad’s Korean Barbecue sauce recipe.

17. Instrument(s)- I haven’t played any in a while (like a REALLY long while, now that I’m thinking about it), but in my prime I could play the guitar, piano, harpsichord, and was pretty good at the drums.

18. Language(s)- I can only speak English. Languages I can read and write in include Spanish, French, Tagalog/Filipino, and Thai. I can sort of speak these languages, but I’m not very good. Like really not good.

19. Favorite Song(s)- According to my iPhone, my top five most played songs are (in order from most to least): LA Devotee - Panic! At the Disco, God is a woman - Ariana Grande, POP/STARS (feat. Jaira Burns) - K/DA, Madison Beer & (G)I-DLE, Juice - Lizzo, and 7 Years - Twenty One Two.

20. Random fact- 2520 is the smallest number that is divisible by the numbers 1-9.

21. Aesthetic: A crisp September day in the forest, with a cloudy, dark grey sky. Just the slightest breeze. Will it rain? Will it snow? Just have to wait and see.

Uhhhhhhhh I never know who to tag for these things, so if we’re mutuals and you see this, feel free to fill this out and tag me. I always want to know more about my mutuals but I’m too much of a coward on main to ask directly, so if you’re looking for a sign to fill this out, this it. Do it.

[independentartistbuzz]

Indie 5-0: 5 Questions with Reggie Harris

A teaching artist in the Kennedy Center’s CETA program (Changing Education Through the Arts) and a fellow for the prestigious Council of Independent College lecture program, Reggie Harris also serves as Co-President and Director of Music Education for the Living Legacy Project—an advocacy group that sponsors Civil Rights pilgrimages throughout the South and online education seminars worldwide. His new album On Solid Ground is about all healing and inspiration in the face of injustice and dissension. From love songs (“Come What May”) to protest songs (“Standing in Freedom's Name”) to the album-closing tribute (“High Over the Hudson”) to his friend and mentor Pete Seeger, On Solid Ground has a little bit of something for everyone. Harris is the 2021 recipient of Folk Alliance International's Spirit of Folk Award and is a DJ on the new program Prisms: The Sound Of Color on SiriusXM’s The Village. He was recently featured on CNN’s Silence is Not An Option with Don Lemon and in The New York Times.

Listen to Reggie Harris via Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0HWFtZHIDLRaW9POYMsAtp

1. At what age did you realize that music was the career you wanted to pursue? What was your ‘ah-ha’ moment? Wow. It came late. I mean, I’ve been singing since I was three or four years old, but I never really had any reason to think of music as a possible career. No one in my family or for that matter, in my social circle, did anything of the sort. People asked that question “What do you wanna be?” all the time but I saw music as just something you did in church or at school or in family sings around the piano. I always loved music and I was always good at it. I learned to harmonize really early and I sang all through high school but never gave any thought to it as a profession. I thought I’d be a teacher. But the “aha moment” came when I heard James Taylors' "Fire and Rain" on the radio one night in 12th grade. Something about his guitar and his expressive voice lit a fire that burned inside until I got a guitar in my hands in 1974. That happened when a young woman I was dating dared me to learn 3 chord on the guitar. That event unleashed something inside of me that had gone untapped in all my years of singing in choirs and groups and at school. I now had the ability to accompany myself with music that I heard from within. I bought the album Sweet Baby James and played the grooves out. That opened the door to Gordon Lightfoot, Don McClean, Cat Stevens, Kenny Rankin and the singer songwriters. I started watching shows like The Midnight Special or Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert and I started going to concerts. And around that same time, I met another young woman named Kim who played guitar and loved the same artists I did. She and I started meeting up and practicing songs, then we began writing songs and quickly became singing partners. Eventually we got married and I’d say, we pushed each other out the door and onto the stage. We were both passionate about making music and helped each other learn and grow and we were both willing to struggle to make it work. We did that for forty years and then separated and I became a solo act in 2016. I love the way it feels to spend hours making music and I really love how it makes other people feel when they hear it. It also gives me a voice to express what I see in the world. My passion for creating music and connecting the dots is stronger than ever. 2. Who are your musical inspirations? What artists inspired you to start your career and find your musical passion? My musical inspiration started early and there have been so many streams. Hearing the “old folks” in my church sing spirituals and hymns was formative and Sunday afternoon church events where 6 or 7 or more church choirs would travel around and have a gospel song fest at another church was exciting and grounding. All those amazing singers covering those great songs. I remember hearing Harry Belafonte, Mahalia Jackson, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Sam Cooke and others on my mother's radio in the morning as she got ready for work. Their voices just made you feel emotions like nothing else in the world. Our teachers in elementary taught us the songs of Woody Guthrie, Paul Robeson, Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan and we sang “Blowing in the Wind” (The Peter, Paul, and Mary version) and "If I Had A Hammer" for 6th grade graduation. I remember standing on the steps of my house in Philly with three of my friends, in the summer of 1964, singing “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” at the top of our lungs. We all took different roles as The Beatles. I thought I was Paul of course! That strikes me funny now… four little black boys in inner-city Philadelphia thinking they were English rockers? Why not The Temps? Or Smokey and the Miracles? There was also Aretha Franklin and The Stones in 1965 with "Satisfaction." Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder fascinated me and all those great Motown artist’s voices came floating down the hall to my room as my sister came of age. I paid attention to the musicians and the arrangements too. Years later, after I discovered the guitar, I met Pete Seeger, Tom Paxton and Ritchie Havens and other folk musicians and started to find a groove that combined what they were doing with other music I loved. My inspiration stream crosses genres, race, decade and style. Stevie Wonder to Pete Seeger, to Bach to Dolly Parton to Joan Armatrading to the Yellow Jackets to Beyonce. Listening across genres gives me more information to process which I can incorporate in melodies, harmonies or language for lyrics. 3. What inspired you to write & record On Solid Ground? I got home on March 8, 2020 after my tour was abruptly ended by COVID-19 shutdowns. For 3 weeks, I sat watching the news, talking with friends, feeling the world come apart as concert dates disappeared from my calendar for months and months into the future. Since concerts, lectures and school programs are the major ways that I get to sow seeds of hope in the world, I felt at a great loss. Like everyone else, I saw tensions building and protests against the various issues of hate and division exploding in the streets and felt that I needed to make sense of it all.

Music is the place I go when I need the world to make sense. So I started doing online concerts and that helped me to see how hungry people were for music and connection. My answer to the desperation and fear that I saw rising all around was to write the song "On Solid Ground." It’s written in the style and frame of the spirituals which are songs I grew up singing and that I still sing now. They are songs composed by people who endured slavery…people who were suffering through devastatingly tough times and still found ways to persevere through music and community. So my message? We can get through this time of challenge and change if we pull together and face ourselves.

Then the floodgates opened. I watched people flood into the streets to protest the George Floyd and Breonna Taylor killings and the growing acts of election suppression and wrote “Standing in Freedom’s Name” and “Let’s Meet Up Early.” I also arranged Malvina Reynolds' “It Isn’t Nice" as a tribute. Inspired by articles about workers who were being put in danger by callous factory owners and government officials, I wrote “My Working Bones.”

In the isolation of missing my girlfriend, who lives 10 hours away, I wrote “Come What May.” Then, watching street scenes on TV in 2020 that mirrored C.T. Vivian’s classic stand-off with Sheriff Jim Clark in Selma in 1965, I was inspired to write “It’s Who We Are.” It’s my challenge to the avoidance of questions of race, inequality and disenfranchisement that we as a nation are still struggling to face. But the protests showed a possible willingness to change?

I wrote the song "High Over the Hudson" about Pete Seeger in 2014 but never put it on a CD. And "Maybe It’s Love" was a fun writing exercise about the nature of romance.  Song after song was born as a timely reflection on what was on my mind every day and as I would finish one song, another would rise up.

Soon I had 9 originals and 4 songs that I was inspired to arrange as covers and I thought, ”Looks like a CD to me.” 4. What was the process like bringing the album to life, and who did you work with to create it?

Recording this CD was both supremely challenging, deeply therapeutic and also the most relaxed I’ve ever been in the studio. The project gave me an outlet for stress. We had to be very careful about COVID-19 protocols and close proximity at all times. Travel was weird and in a few impossible moments, we worked remotely. I was also wondering if I’d ever get to go out and perform the songs once they were done or if anyone would ever buy physical music again since that has been decreasing for years. But as I called on musicians who were not only good friends but who I knew would respond to my vision, the way to proceed got clearer.  My core co-contributors, Greg Greenway and Dave Schonauer, have been critical collaborators on my last three CDs. Greg and I have known each other for over 30 years and were born three days apart. So we have a language that just flows. We met and did pre-production in August and then hit the studio in September. Dave, the engineer at Morningstar Studios, is just brilliant. He makes things possible that most people don’t think of. Pat Wictor is my improvisational exploration brother as is Tom Prasado-Rao. Pat got up from a bout with COVID-19 and a recovery from tearing a tendon in his arm and played his newly retrained fingers off. Tom came out of a major bout with cancer and simmered with vocal ideas. They were all amazing at helping me chase my vision and “letting me be me" while adding brilliance and calling me on things didn’t quite measure up. We work at a level of trust that transcends words. I met bassist Chico Huff and drummer Matt Scarano when I recorded the CD Ready to Go in 2017-18 and they both play my music like they were there when I wrote it! Eric Byrd is a friend who is an amazing musical force and funny as hell. And Colleen Kattau, Mark Murphy and Ken Ulansey are longtime friends who just find the right temperature and vibe all the time. Everyone did what I love: They came in the door with passion and flexibility, brought their “A” games and didn’t leave until we got it right. And now Kari Estrin, Sarah Bennett and my friend Joann Murdock are helping me get it out to the world. 5. What do you have in store for the rest of 2021? I’m looking forward to continuing to unveil these songs, first during online concerts and then, as things begin to open up, with the start of whatever the new in-person performing landscape will become. I’ll continue to provide education videos for schools and doing lectures and residency work with colleges and universities on my own and through the Council of independent Colleges. The pandemic also gave me the time to work on a memoir which I’m trying to finish with a friend who is co-writing. And I’ll continue my work in civil, voting and human rights with the Living Legacy Project organization as we work to extend awareness and social activism. In my spare time, I hope to go to a few baseball games, see fully vaccinated friends for visits and hugs, watch a few movies and hopefully see my 76ers win the NBA championship. And I think I also need to get some rest.

[blessedsinnersrp-blog]

                     “ quit bein’ a fuckin’ chowdahead, will     yuh? some stuff is more important than             money— even if that is a wicked cool idea. ”    

                        name: levi gunner                         age: 47                          affiliation: everyone and no one                         occupation: co-owner of the bah                         face claim: mark wahlberg                         status: taken

⟨ i ⟩ ▬ levi learned his good manners from his parents. shattered glass and the percussion of fists tearing through dry wall was the primary soundtrack of the boy’s childhood. save for the janis joplin his ma’ kept playing on their scratchy 45, of course. levi had the same lighter fluid in his veins that his old man did, same igniting tongue too. these loud mouth’s all had that much in common, excluding that genius brother of his. he’d always been content with the shambled life his parents had brought him into. there was nothing to compare it to. when abel was brought into the world, he knew shit had to change. no one was going to step up and give this little tyke what he deserved.

⟨ ii ⟩ ▬ so big brother did. it was levi that was burning frank an’ beans on the stove and staying up half the night to make abe do his homework. their parents cared about them, in their own misguided way. they just cared a little more about fucking and fighting in the back bedroom. make no mistake, levi was not the patron saint of children. he didn’t selflessly give up his life to help raise his brother. he still played hockey every day with the neighborhood kids. he still stole mentos and tonic from the local corner market. when he started stealingbigger ticket items that was just as much for his brother as it was for him. stolen cars offered decent stacks of bills at the chop shop. the gunners didn’t have to rely on their parents welfare checks anymore. levi had figured out a way for them to make it big.

⟨ iii ⟩ ▬ stealing is great, until you want something more for yourself. levi was under the illusion that if he went out into the world and transformed his life, then it would make things better for both brothers. so he joined the marines. he won’t talk about what happened over there, as most don’t. he found a different kind of brotherhood overseas. contrary to what people would believe about the loud-mouthed brother, he was humble at his roots. no one back homes knows he was the top sniper in his division because he simply wouldn’t tell people. he received an honorable discharge a few years back, coming home with that nowinfamous limp and a wounded sense of pride. levi would gladly give his life for his country, to protect the civilians back home. what he wasn’t crazy about was the lack of support from the government when it came time to pay for his rehabilitation treatments.

⟨ iv ⟩ ▬ levi may have gotten abe into the life of thievery, but it was abe that pulled levi back in upon his return. they were the gunner brothers, the duo that couldn’t be stopped. levi was strapped for cash, and abe was the baby brother with all of the solutions. there’s a reason they called him the smart one. only problem was, bigger jobs meant more prominent enemies. after pulling off the job to end all jobs, every thief’s cliche dream, they had to run. it was all fucking jerry’s fault. levi still swore he was gonna kill that chowdahead one day. the two were forced out of their boston home, maintaining a low profile. he saw less dust in iraq than he did in bumfuck. the place was a goddamn travesty. one they’d have to call home until their past swept in through those bar doors.

✞;;  levi came home from the war with a limp. no one has yet to receive a truthful answer on how it happened. levi was a sharp shooter, he wasn’t supposed to be at the front lines of the combat. most have the common decency to not joke about his ailment. most people aren’t his brother. it’s not abe’s fault that levi happens to look hilarious when he’s filled with rage and limping out in the form of a dramatic storm off. people only need to truly be concerned when he’s using a shotgun as a cane. because someone’s gon’ die.

✞;;  that pesky knee pain of his needs a little bit of medication sometimes. oxy’s are about the only thing that ease the carnal gnawing on his nerves. so he keeps a bug’s bunny pez dispenser filled with the pills in his pocket at all times. he’s not an addict. in fact, he tries to use the candy as a last resort. however, it’s not an uncommon sight to see levi crushing up a pill with the bunny’s head and snorting it off the bar.

✞;;  he’s got those classic rock guitar riffs embedded into his veins. throw in a little bit of mo-town into there too. what he’s not a fan of is the country that everyone in bumfuck seems to be so keen on. you’re not allowed to play haggard in their bar. more importantly, only people with the last name gunner are allowed to pick the tracks coming out of the jukebox. if you’d like to protest this, you can always take it up with the owners.

[my-mystic-messenger]

Can I request a high school AU (the RFA and everyone is in high school) with MC x Zen? Like them meeting in theatre class together and she's really shy and quiet around them but they both love acting and she's secretly really good at improv and comedy? Like how they get together and how the other members react and stuff. At this point Zen would have been on his own for a while now and he's probably in a gang. Sorry if this is too specific haha I just love your writing

So haha the last two days I spent re-watching Ouran High School Host Club so basically this is a mash-up of my experience in theatre club + Ouran High School Host Club + Mystic Messenger. What could possibly go wrong, am I right?! 」(￣▽￣」) Also, this blew way out of proportion, so I put it under a read more. I hope you enjoy that clusterfuck of fic as much as I enjoyed dreaming it up

Mentioned MC’s Masterlist

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||

Fandom: Mystic MessengerRating: GeneralWarnings: NoneCategories: F/MRelationships: MC x ZenWord count: 6060

Ouran Elite PrivateAcademy

a prestigious privateschool located in Seoul, Korea. The school is attended primarily bychildren of the rich and famous. Ouran Academy houses five differentdivisions: Kindergarten, Elementary School, Middle School, HighSchool and University. All four divisions are all located on the samecampus and students are free to move about.

Meet the students:

Jumin Han (19) - Freshmenin College (child of a business magnate)

Jihyun Kim (19) -Freshmen in College (child of a celebrity)

Madeleine Campbell (18) -12th grader in High School  (child business magnate)

Mélodie Carpentier (18) -12th grader in High School (child of a celebrity)

Jaehee Kang (18) - 12thgrader in High School (honour student)

Hyun Ryu (17) - 11thgrader in High School (child of prominent family)

Macy Cain (16) - 10thgrader in High School (child of prominent family)

Saeyoung&Saeran Choi(15) 10th graders in High School (children of a politician)

Yoosung Kim (14) 8thgrader in Middle School (child of a politician)

Hyun Ryu had beenattending Ouran Academy since Kindergarten. Despite his family beingneither rich nor famous both his older brother and him had beenaccepted due to their parents’ scholar status and the fact that theywere Ouran Alumni. Hyun and his brother were labeled as children of a���prominent family’, yet basically being nothing more than honourstudents. At first Hyun had enjoyed it. The school was prestigiousand fancy, the people were generally nice and with smaller classesstudying wasn’t half as bad as it would have been in any publicschool. Plus, he looked really good in the uniforms. However, asyears passed he began feeling less and less comfortable and happy.Especially once he’d realized that he most certainly did not aspireto be some business mogul or even a scholar like his parents. 

He’donly dared to admit as much once he’d finally entered High School andwhile his parents didn’t transfer him away from Ouran – mainlybecause they still hoped the school would shape him and talk somesense into their son – he’d no longer been welcome at their home.Hyun had been forced to run away and somehow find his own way throughlife from that moment on. Despite having made good friends during hisyears at Ouran, Hyun refused all their help. He was annoyed at theprivilege he’d received so far as it was, set on making his way tothe top all by himself. Hyun gave up his former life and completelyreinvented himself as Zen. Zen who was charming and confident. Zenwho started the Ouran Theatre Club, open to all and everyone. Hewanted to perform, become the best at his profession and bewitchnations with his talent.

Sadly, ambition alone didnot pay rent and Zen learned that bitter lesson rather soon. Hungerstarted to drain him, constantly jumping between sleeping somewherein school or at friends’ places became inconvenient and borderlinemortifying. He needed money and he needed it soon. Sadly he was notquite at a place where he could earn enough money with his acting andZen had very little other talents that could have been of help. Thatwas until a man asked him about his bike, how well he rode and howconfident he was in his abilities. Zen had been confused at first –the man did look kind of sketchy – but when he mentioned big sumsof money he could win with nothing more than racing on his bike Zenhad been sold. Desperation overruled logic and before he knew Zen hadjoined a motorgang, riding for their lives, in the most literal ofsenses.

The days were spent inschool, his afternoons in the barely there theatre club he’d startedand by night he raced other people for money or got into fights withother clans. It wasn’t the perfect situation, but he got by and thatwas all that mattered. His body soon started to condition itself,healing at a rate that was almost inhumanly fast to make up for allthe damage he took during races or fights gone wrong. Barely a weekwent by without Zen doing some kind of damage to his body. It soonled to a bad-boy reputation to be build on his part, something hehadn’t quite played on but works with. The girls enjoy him in leatherjackets and tight jeans, riding to school on his bike and smokingbehind the building, so he accents such behaviour instead of hidingit in his desperate need for attention and affection. It is only atthe beginning of his 11th school year that things begin tochange.

♬

When the door to thetheatre club opened Zen froze, instantly jumping up from the tablehe’d been sitting on to look who it was. Despite his desperateattempts to put even a single play on stage he’d failed miserably sofar. No one at Ouran seemed to be interested in joining the theatreclub, too busy following their parents’ footsteps into commercialsuccess. Zen desperately wanted to judge them, but opposite to himthey seemed content with their fate. He’d almost given up hope on theclub, ready to dissolve it entirely, when suddenly a young girlentered, looking around the big room. “Hello”, she called, eyesscanning the entire room before landing on Zen. They widened withsurprise – something he’d gotten used to by now, with his strangelooks – before a bright smile and kindness replaced the initialsurprise, leaving Zen breathless.“Are you Hyun then”, sheasked, heavy American accent in her Korean. Still, at least she’dbothered to learn the language, something that Zen was more thanimpressed with. He stepped towards her, holding out his hand for herto shake. “I am. You’re a foreigner. Could it be that you are thetransfer student everyone has been talking about?” The girl nodded.“Yes, my name is Macy Cain. I came here to study dance in a DanceAcademy, but I still have to go to school, so here I am.” Shechuckled and Zen hadn’t heard such genuine sounds in a long time. “Isee. Sadly our school doesn’t have a dance club, I’m afraid”, hesaid and Macy nodded. “I know, I already asked around. That’salright though. They told me about the theatre club and Ifigured…well if we perform something like a musical, a danceperformance is a must and I could definitely help withthat.”Musical? Zen hadn’t even considered musicals. He wasquite the good singer and he did play the guitar, but without anyactors for even an ordinary play, how on earth was he supposed tothink about musicals. He rubbed the back of his head nervously,cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry to say, but the theatre club is ratherdead. I tried getting people to join, but some are afraid of me, someare not allowed to be associated with me and some are too busystaring and admiring me to even consider proper acting and disciplineand I detest half-heartedness, so the club never really came to be”,he explained, sighing when the thought really sunk in anddisappointment overwhelmed him. Macy hummed. “How unfortunate.Well, we’ll just have to gather some people then. See you tomorrowfor practice”, she announced, cheerful as ever, before leaving theroom and a baffled Zen behind.

♬

The next day Zen foundhimself surprisingly hopeful as he sat in the auditorium all byhimself. Every time he heard steps from the hall his heart skipped abeat, excitement flooding his body, only to be disappointed when thedoors didn’t open. About half an hour into ‘practice’ Zen was readyto throw the towel and leave when suddenly the doors opened and Macystepped in. Zen instantly jumped up, practically running towards her,happy to at least have her return. That is when he spotted threeother people walking and froze. “Trust Fund Kid?! What the fuck areyou doing here?!” Zen glared at the guy, hands balling into fists.Jumin merely gave him an uninterested glance. “I am here to jointhe theatre club, obviously.” Beside him another young manappeared, blue haired and much friendlier looking as well as ared-haired young woman.

“Did Macy talk you intothis? I don’t people like you to join my club”, he hissed back,reading to throw a fit. Jumin huffed. “No, she did not. Madeleinedid”, he replied, hand resting on the young woman’s lower back. Shelooked gentle, smiling up at the boy beside him which lead Zen tobelieve that she must have been his girlfriend. That possibly shockedhim more than Jumin’s willingness to join the club. Who on earth withever subject themselves to Jumin Han on a regular basis? “Not tomention that calling it 'your club’ is rather absurd considering thatup to this point it had no members and the only reason it has any nowis thanks to Madeleine and Macy.” Oh Zen definitely wanted to smashhis fucking face in. Then again, Jumin was right. Not only did theclub have any members now, it had enough to be considered legitimateto school standards. They could finally perform!

“How didyou do it”, Zen asked, this time talking to Macy, awe written allover his face. She chuckled. “Madeleine and I got to know eachother at orientation day. When I asked her about it she was delightedto join. She asked Jumin, who was a little reluctant at first, butonce Jihyun agreed to join if he did we roped both of them into it”,Macy explained, high-fiving the other girl. Ah, so Jumin Han wasn’tquite as independent and controlling as he liked to portray himselfto be, if his girlfriend could rope him into things like that. “Ididn’t know you could act”, Zen said, glaring at Jumin again butthis time with less heat. “I can’t. What ridiculous assumptions.I’ll manage the club, Jihyun will record the performances, Macy willdance, Madeleine is a mighty fine actress and you…I guess you’lllook pretty on the posters.” This time Zen had to be physicallyheld back from punching the asshole.

♬

“And who are you two”,he asked, looking down at the twins with confusion. “Saeyoung andSaeran. Macy is in our class”, they replied in union, alreadyirritating Zen. He closed his eyes o hide the fact that he wasrolling them so hard, any more and he wound have seen his own brain.He looked to Macy then, pleadingly. Was she serious? Macy grinned andshrugged. “They are really clever. Both of the skipped a grade,which is why they are so young”, she explained as if it helped thesituation. He already had Jumin Han to annoy him. Zen didn’t need toknow it alls on top of it. “We can memorise any script afterreading it once”, one of the brothers said, the one with theglasses. “Plus, we can act. So well some people can’t even tell weare acting”, the other one added, a somewhat mischievous glint tohis eyes. Zen shivered. “W-well…welcome to the theatre club, Iguess…”♬

“I could help V with thescenery”, Mélodie suggested on the clubs third meeting. Despitenot having chosen a play, everyone in the club was getting excitedand dividing up the work. They were only eight people at this point,but things were staring to look up. Frankly, one could do a lot morewith eight people than Zen had first assumed. “Okay so V andMélodie are taking care of the stage design, Zen and Macy will beworking on the music, Madeleine and I will work on the costumes andthe twins will take care of special effects and technology ingeneral. Now the real question is…should we write an originalscript and if so…who wants to do that?” That was when a quietvoice chirped up from the back of the auditorium, startling all themembers gathered on stage. “I could do that.” Madeleine andMélodie recognized the girl as their classmate Jaehee and so eightmembers became nine.

♬

“Isn’t he a littleyoung? Especially compared to the oldest members”, Zen whispered atMacy as they watched the new addition to their club – Yoosung Kim –be teased by the twins. “I mean…I guess, but he seems reallyeager? Frankly he seems to get along better with the older guys thanwith the twins who are closest to his age. Plus, he might be aninteresting addition”, she whispered back, shrugging. “Uh-huh?How so”, Zen asked, disbelieve audible in his voice. “I don’tknow, Zen, he’s cute. He could be our mascot or something like that.”Zen hummed, looking at the little blonde dude with huge doe eyes. Hedid have that whole shota-boy thing going for him and they didn’thave someone like that in their rounds yet. “I bet he can trickpeople into coming to our shows if we let him hand out the fliers andstuff”, she added and so the deal was sealed.

♬

“Okay everyone, we’llstart todays practice with an improv session. Maybe it will help uscome up with a possible plot for our play and yes, Jumin, you have toparticipate as well”, Zen announced into the round. Jumin huffedbut instantly relaxed when Madeleine pressed a kiss to his cheek.Whipped! They stood in a circle for a quick warm up before Zen askedinto the round who would like to begin. Suddenly the room wasoverwhelmed by a radio silence. How come the theatre club was full ofpeople who didn’t want to act?! “Macy, come join me, please. Youtoo, Yoosung. We’ll start with a simple family scene and see how itgoes from there.” While Yoosung actually seemed eager upon havingbeen picked, instantly climbing on stage to prove himself and hisworth, Macy was hesitant. Usually she was very confident andoutgoing, which is why he’d picked her to begin with.

“Zen, I’m not anactress. I came here to dance, mainly”, she said, not meeting hiseyes. Zen frowned, taking in her demeanour as he’d never seen herlike that. Macy never shied away from a challenge and Zen wouldn’tallow as much to to happen now. Holding out his hand for her to takehe smiled. “Don’t be scared. We’re all friends here so no one willjudge.” After quickly glancing around the room, met with a row offriendly smiles, Macy took Zen’s hand and climbed on stage to joinhim and Yoosung. Zen could tell that she was still nervous, but atleast she was trying and he appreciated that. Acting was completelydifferent from dancing and on top of that improv was especially hard.Without a script or more than a general idea to go by a lot of peoplestruggled with it, even professionals. Still, Zen believed in Macyand as it turned out he was right in doing so.

Whatever you threw at her,Macy had quick, witty comeback. During their short improv that day –mere five minutes at most – she managed to make even Jumin laugh.Not only that, but she turned out to be a great actress too. Hercomedic act could have easily turned out to be ridiculous andunprofessional, but Macy took her role serious, which probably madethe whole thing all the more hilarious to watch. Meanwhile Yoosungsuffered through the improv as it got increasingly hard for him notto crack up at Macy’s jokes as well, thereby breaking character. WhenZen called cut on the scene the rest of the group cheered andclapped, leaving Macy to blush and bow to them shyly. Zen could do nomore than stare at her, heart racing. It was only when the twinsdemanded to play a scene as well that he snapped out of it, shakinghis head to focus on practice.

♬

“I think we should meetafter school to take care of the music now that we finally have anactual script”, Macy suggested, two weeks after their first improvsession. Jaehee had done a great job at writing it. After watchingthe entire group do their improvs for a couple of days, Jaehee hadcatalogued all their strengths and weaknesses, incorporating theminto the characters and story she wrote. After sitting everyone downthey’d turned the story into a proper script a new motivation takingover the small club. Every day they met to practice their lines andblocking on stage and after practice most of them stayed behind totake care of their individual tasks as well. Zen was so happy to seeeveryone excited about their play as well as having such a devotedand loyal group of friends. Even Jumin took his role as manager ofthe club increasingly serious, silently pulling the strings oneverything.

“Sure, we can staybehind in the auditorium after practice to work on the music”, Zensuggested, grinning down at the blonde. Since the beginning of theirlittle club about a month ago he’d grown rather attached to her.Despite not being in the same class they spent a lot of timetogether, both at theatre club as well as the breaks in betweenclasses. She always sought him out during lunch time, sitting next tohim where others had kept their distance, while Zen always walked herhome after school. Well, he never walked her the entire distance,scared that someone from another gang would see and possibly attackthem. He did, however, watch her leave once they’d reached the cornerthey usually parted ways at, heart beating just a little fasterwhenever she turned around one last time to wave him goodbye.

“No, that won’t do. Therest of the club is always day making some kind of ruckus and wecan’t practice, let alone compose, under such conditions. Plus, I gethungry if we stay too long and then I get cranky and when I’m crankyI can’t work. I would suggest going to my place, but I live by myselfand my apartment is extremely tiny. Could we maybe meet at yours?”Zen knew that Macy had asked without mean intent, actually makingsome valid points, but the question hit home. He froze almostimmediately, expression falling from happy to something dark andempty instead. Macy stopped in her tracks when she noticed the suddenchange in mood, turning to look at her friend. It was obvious thatshe was worried, reaching out to him but hesitating. Her hand reachedout for his face but hung in the air until Zen moved into the touch,hand resting against his cheek as he closed his eyes.

It feltso warm against his cold skin, so much so that he had the need torest his hand above hers to keep it in place, burying himself in thegentle touch. “I don’t really have a home”, he admitted in awhisper like it was some kind of dirty secret, something to beashamed off. “What”, came a quiet gasp in reply. “Why?” Zenfinally opened his eyes, meeting Macy’s. He could see the tearsthreatening to roll down her cheeks gathering and hated himself formaking her worry like that. Still, he could not lie, not with her.Macy was probably the only person he could be fully himself with andmaybe Zen needed that from time to time. No acting. No falseconfidence. No playing cool or tough. Just…Zen. “My parents bothwent to Ouran Academy as honour students. They are scholars, elitesif you want. My brother followed their footsteps but when I announcedI wouldn’t -”

“They kicked you out?”Zen nodded. “At first I tried living with friends, but its rude tostay longer than a couple of days at a time and eventually, after acouple of months, I got tired of jumping between families. I was atan all time low, walking down the streets with my tiny suitcasedragging behind me when this dude came to me, asking about my bike.They offered me a place to stay and food, so I accepted to come withhim”, he explained, shrugging. He never had to explicitly mentionit, but Macy soon realized what her friend was trying to tell her.“You joined a biker gang?! Oh Zen, don’t tell me you’re racing!”Zen blushed, taking a step back and instantly missing the featherytouch against his cheek. “It’s not like I had a choice. It’s eitherride or die and I’d rather die trying than die curled up in someditch.”

Zen had expected a lot of reactions, but mostcertainly not the slap to the face he received. “Risking your lifefor something like that? I thought you were smarter than that, youidiot”, Macy snapped, tears now freely running down her cheeks,slender body shaking almost violently. “It’s not like I had achoice, Macy! I had no money and nowhere to go.” Had he not caughther hand, she probably would have slapped him another time. “Youcould have asked us”, she screamed. “Every day you meet with ninepeople who care for you and love you and yet you are too proud to askany of us for help!? Shame on you, Ryu.. Risking your valuable lifeon illegal races that could kill you faster than any starvationbecause you 'had no other choice’ is the dumbest excuse I’ve everheard. I’ll wake the rest of the way myself. Someone who can’t takecare of themselves should not be worrying about taking care of me.”

♬

Upon entering theauditorium the next morning Zen was met with his nine friends, alltalking in hushed voices that instantly stopped when they noticedhim. For a while they all silently stared at him and Zen had beenabout ready to turn around and leave when out of all people Juminstepped forward. Without a word he held out an envelop and Zen didn’thave to be a genius to know it was money. He could feel the angerrise inside of him and before he knew he was slapping the others handaway. “I don’t need your money, jerk! I’m not your little charitycase”, he snapped angrily. As per usual Jumin’s expression remainedcalm and stoic. It was Madeleine who seemed hurt and angry as shestepped forward to look at her boyfriends hand before picking up theenvelop that had fallen to the floor. “It’s not Jumin’s money, Zen,so please man up and just accept our help already.”

Zen instantly calmed uponfaced with such defeat in everyones eyes. He sighed, taking theenvelop and actually looking inside. He felt a little dizzy when herealized just how much money that was. “You don’t seriously want meto believe that this isn’t his. Who else has so much money on theirhands”, he asked, waving the thick bundle around. “OuranAcademy’s student body. We knew you wouldn’t accept our money, oranyones really, so we asked for tiny, tiny donations from everyone.Only so much that it wouldn’t be a bother to them. We didn’t tellthem what the donations were for, so they wouldn’t feel obliged tohelp. Ouran Academy is filled with rich people so some of thedonations might seem like a lot to you, but to them it’s not even asplit of their lunch money. They happily gave it up so please acceptthe money and rent a place”, Jaehee explained calmly with everyonenodding along.

Zen looked at the money, on the verge of tearsas he considered through how much trouble his friends must have gonethrough to ask all the students for money like that. He sighed. “I’mreally thankful for your guys’ hard work, but even if I accept this,I can’t rent a place. This might be enough to the first deposit andmaybe first months rent, but what should I do afterwards? I don’thave any other way to earn money but participating in those races.”That is when Jumin decided to speak up once more. “This is whereyou are wrong. You can earn money by acting. We decided to scrap theplay with had in favour of writing a new, much shorter one. That waywe can perform once a week instead of once a month or year. We caninvite people to our performances and do so in exchange for money.It’s neither charity nor are we forcing anyone and you will earnmoney without risking your life.”

Zen couldn’t believe hisears. They’d not only gathered enough for him to rent an apartment,but they were also coming up with a solution for him to pay rent andprovide for himself without having to race. That is when everyone gotout the scripts they’d been hiding behind their backs, presentingthem to Zen. Every member had written their own sketch. They wereshort and not all of the members were needed, which gave the othermembers more time to prepared for their own, creating a perpetuummobile performing and writing. “You’ll have to live a very modestlife and we won’t be able to do this for longer than a couple ofyears tops, but none of us have a shred of doubt in your abilities toprovide for yourself. You just needed some help to get up, but soonyou’ll be running on your own”, V added after some silence,everyone nodding along to his words.

Zen looked at everyone,trying his best to remain calm and keep his face when in reality hewanted to sing and cry with joy. Never in his life had he experiencedsuch unconditional love and he’d never imagined to find it in a placelike this, nor from the people he got it from. Considering thecircumstances he was all the more grateful. “Thank you”, he said,looking down at the money, holding it tight to his chest as he bowedto everyone, one by one. “Thank you so much for your help. If it’salright…I’d like to accept it.” Everyone clapped and cheered,pulling Zen into a group hug. Everyone but Macy, that is. She wasstill standing at the side, watching with an unreadable expression,arms crossed over her chest. It was when Zen swallowed nervously thateveryone took the hint, wished him good luck and scrambled out of theroom.

Faced alone with Macy Zen felt more nervous than he’dever felt before. It was usually him that seduced the women, madethem feel weak in the knees. Now he felt like a little child writingtheir first love letter to a secret crush. It was nerve wracking. Hewas about go gather up the courage to say something, anything at all,when Macy uncrossed her arms and held out a stack of papers. Zen wasconfused, to say the least. He’d prepared a million apologies thenight before after she’d quite literally slapped sense into him, butnow he was taken off guard. Was that script really that important?When Macy merely continued to hold it out for him, saying nothing,Zen figured it probably was and took the script hesitantly. Macyreached behind herself once more, picking up an identical stack andopening the first page, clearing her throat. “Read”, shecommanded and Zen did as he was told.Macy: This book…Weused to read these to each other. Why did you even buy it?

Zen: You know.

Macy: No, I don’t.

Zen: Yes, you do.

- Zen attempts to makea pass at Macy, but gets pushed away -

Macy: No, I don’t!

Zen: You know, I hate yoursquishy guts.

- woman grabs ontoman, holding him in a tight embrace -

Macy: I hate yoursquishy guts.

Zen: You know you love me.

- woman pulls back andstarts lightly hitting man with her fists -

Macy: I did love you. Iloved your squishy guts. You fucked it all up.

Zen: You fucked itall up.

Macy: Oh God! Why do Ilove you? It’s those eyes! Why do you have such pretty eyes? You’resuch a jerk! Why do you have to have those eyes? Why did you make mefall in love with you? I was supposed to be over it – falling inlove. And then there you were, with those eyes.

- Macy wants to getaway but Zen stops her -

Zen: We never evenfinished them all.

Macy: Ha! You know a lotabout not finishing something.

Zen: That again? It’snot like I’m not trying. Do you have any idea what it’s been likefor me? Trying to write something, something really good, when itjust isn’t coming?

Macy: Yea, well, you’renot the only one who’s not ‘coming.’

- Zen gets the pun,then stops for a moment. He changes his demeanour to that of aseducer -

Zen: Oh. Is that yourproblem? You need a little something? I think I can take care ofthat.

- Zen pulls Macy intoa passionate kiss - Once Zen had finished reading throughthe script he understood, smiling at the last line before looking up.He was met with a pair of  half lidded blue eyes looking at him,paired with small smirk. He’d gotten the message loud and clear andnot just the good part of it. Zen put away the script, walkingtowards Macy to embrace her, holding her tight to his chest. Itwasn’t quite as seductive as the play made it out to be, but it waspassionate and sincere nevertheless. “You came up with all of it,didn’t you?” It was formulated like a question, but Zen knew theanswer without her having to tell him. Even if the others cared forhim, no one cared quite as much as her. “You saved me, you know?”Macy looked up at him then, smiling gently. “I know. I think youshould repay your hero”, she replied teasingly and once more Zenobeyed, pulling her in for the kiss they’d both waited for.

♬

“Excuse me, Hyun Ryu?”Zen turned around, surprised to be greeted by an unfamiliar, adultface. Usually only the student body came to their performances,rarely the teachers. The man in front of him was neither. “Please,call me Zen. It is the name I chose for myself”, he replied. Zentook the hand that was held out to him and shook it politely, smilingat the man. “How may I help you?” The man laughed, reaching intohis pocket and getting out a small card. “I think I might actuallybe able to help you. We’re still looking for a young lead for ourupcoming play and you are perfect for it. With your amazing looks youstick out and your talents hits the nail on the head. If you’reinterested that call that number. We can discuss the details in amore private setting.”

♬

“It’s about time toinvited us to your place, Zen”, Saeyoung said, looking around thesmall apartment curiously, twin always by his side. “Yeah, we’rethe reason you have it in the first place.” Zen huffed, shaking hishead but smiling nevertheless. All his friends were gathered at theplace he was allowed to call his own home. A couple of months hadpassed since he’d moved in and if Zen was completely honest withhimself, he could have lived with never inviting the bunch of themover at all. Seeing so many filthy rich people gathered in such amodest place, probably silently judging, made him nervous. “He wasprobably enjoying his little den of love with Macy”, Mélodiereplied with a chuckle, making herself comfortable in V’s lap. Zenhad no idea when that particular relationship had happened, but aslong as they were happy, he supposed he was happy too.“Please,don’t make such crude remarks, Mélodie. It is bad enough to thinkthat they are probably true, let alone be reminded of the fact thatZen and Macy are living a immoral life style”, Jumin repliedsternly, holding onto Madeleine like someone was about to snatch heraway. “Oh please, like you’re the one to talk. You’re drooling overyour girlfriend”, Zen replied, rolling his eyes. “Fiancée.Madeleine is my fiancée soon to be wife and if you must know, we arewaiting until after marriage for such intimate acts to be shared,thank you very much.” Zen huffed, shaking his head. “Stop callingher your fiancée. It’s creepy. You’re just nineteen years old”, hesaid. “Huh, I didn’t know love had some sort of age stamp on it”,Jumin replied easily. Madeleine snickered at his stupid come-back andJumin lovingly pressed a kiss to her temple, effectively making Zenwant to throw up.

“Hearing you talk aboutlove…it gives me the chills. Are you really sure about marryinghim, Maddy? You could still find someone better”, Zen said instead,looking at his friend with concern and pity in his eyes. The redheadmerely chuckled, shaking her head at the two boys. “As sure as youare about Macy.” Well, that certainly put things into perspective.Zen looked across the room to where Macy was talking and laughingwith the twins and Yoosung, cheerful and happy as ever. He couldn’thelp but smile just looking at her. “I’m really happy for the twoof you, by the way. We all are”, Madeleine said as she noticed theothers glance. Zen turned his head to look at her, beaming from earto ear as he thanked her for her kind words. Had it not been for thenever ending support of his friend, Zen would have never dared topursue Macy. Thankfully, he’d been nudged in the rightdirection.

“Anyway, why are we gathered here today? Don’ttell me you’re proposing to Macy”, Mélodie said, instantly causingboth Zen and Macy to blush and choke on air. “What? No! I won’tpropose to anyone until I’m finally an established man, ready toprovide for myself and my future wife. Until then, I’m afraid, Macywill have to wait.” The blush in Macy’s cheeks only deepened andshe quickly looked away to hide it. Zen couldn’t have found her moreadorable if he tried. “We’re gathered here today, because I have avery happy and not marriage related announcement to make. After ourlast performance I was approached by a producer. He was amazed withmy talent and offered me a role in his upcoming play. It’s only asmall production, but I will be playing the lead and hopefully itwill open some more doors for me.”

Everyone cheered,gathering for a big group hug. In the short time all of them hadworked together on the theatre club they’d grown together as afamily, really. There wasn’t a day they didn’t see each other or atleast chat in their little chat room the twins had provided.Naturally those were the people that Zen wanted to tell about hissuccess first. “Without all of you none of this would have beenpossible. I have a job, I have a steady home, a girlfriend I love andfriends who are by my side. Even Jumin is here”, Zen said, earninga couple of laughs while Jumin looked unimpressed. Zen grinned. Therewould not be a day that he’d miss a chance to jab at the other. “Butmost of all, I have to thank you, Macy. Without you…I would haveended up dead sooner or later. Thank you for believing in me. Pleasewait a little longer for me so I can make a name for myself, becomethe man you deserve. Will you wait for me?” Macy nodded, stealing aquick kiss that left Zen flushed and everyone else in loud cheers.“Forever.”

The little script part is not mine. You can find it here

[jrbeaver]

Jesse Thayer

Set Carpenter, Roger Waters 'Us and Them' Tour

Photographed at T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada

June 16, 2017

>A couple days ago I sat down with my friend Jesse Thayer, a Los Angeles-based set carpenter who works on arena and stadium-sized concert tours. We talked backstage at T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.

--What are you up to right now?

“I’m on the Roger Waters ‘Us and Them’ tour, I’m a carpenter. I like to use the term ‘Staging Technician’ sometimes because it sounds more official”

--Where did you grow up?

“I’m from Rochester, NY originally.”

--So how did you get to this point, growing up in Rochester? How did you start into this business?

“As a nineteen or twenty year old, I started pushing cases at a local amphitheater called Darien Lake. At that point it wasn’t a union building, so they hired us out - we had a great time, a lot of good people there. As things do, one thing led to another thing, and I pushed cases somewhere else... Domino effect. Took a long time I feel.”

--Did you stay in Rochester for a while?

“Yes, I want to say I stayed in Rochester until about 2011. I briefly moved to Nashville, which was fantastic, great place to live. Then Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, and finally Los Angeles in 2013”

--Were you working locally still, or were you touring at that point?

“In Nashville? I was touring. I started touring in 2006. One of the guys I met at Darien Lake, Frank, needed a replacement out on Mötley Crüe tour.”

--Good first tour

“Yeah, oh man, I did three of them. Lots of debauchery. Good times.”

--Have you done other jobs in the business along the way?

“I worked as a supervisor for a labor company for a lot of years, but still in the business - the low end of the business, but we were involved and got free tee shirts and backstage passes. Lots of stress. But it was a lot of fun. Stressful years, but good years. I did that until 2002, and then I wen to work for a staging company in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania (Mountain Productions) for about five years. That was a good experience too, good people, I enjoyed that part of it and what I was doing. I had always dreamed of working in the music business, even in high school - one way or another. I think initially I thought I was going to work as an (audio) engineer in a studio, but just knew I wanted to work in the music business. It’s what I was passionate about.”

--What was it about the music business, are you a musician yourself?

“No, I’ve never been ambitious enough to pick up an instrument, but I do love music. In my house we have music playing all the time. We have to have a soundtrack to our lives. If I’m in the car, there’s music playing. One of the things I like doing is just walking around with my iPod and just taking in cities.

I worked as a DJ for a little while at a radio station, which was great. Worked at a record store at the same time. It was a college radio station, and we didn’t get paid, but we got free CDs and some swag. I was perfectly content getting free CDs and getting on the guest list at clubs when I was 23-24 years old.”

--Did you have people you learned from as you worked your way up in the business?

“Boy, that would be a long list of people. That would take me a long time to put together. Getting up in age as I am, I always look back to key people. I try and recognize the fact that certain people really made an impact in my life or made a difference and talked me into doing something, or to put my name in for something. There definitely are those people who effected my life, for sure. In every different chapter of my life, whatever I was doing, there was always somebody that I was close with thatI learned from. As a DJ, working at Darien Lake, at Mountain Productions, working as a carpenter. I’m learning all the time. I could point to a couple instances on this tour where I’ve learned to do things that I’ve never come across. I need to retain more. I have an enormous amount of useless information that mostly has to do with music and 80s TV shows, I suppose”

--What are some of the standout tours you remember working?

“I am so lucky, there haven’t been many bad tours. I met my wife on Tina Turner, which was a big one! Which is funny, because we barely spoke the entire tour, and then we ended up getting married.

There was a Mötley tour that was the most fun, and I say that because it was a full Mötley tour. We had toured with Aerosmith in 2006 and we were the support act, touring with two trucks, almost nothing. We got the stage at like 5:30 at night, and we were off the stage by like 9:00, packed the trucks by 9:30. That was our day. On this particular tour, we were doing sheds, amphitheaters. The band (Mötley Crüe) didn’t have dressing rooms, only Aerosmith, so we had star trailers that we parked in a square in the parking lot. In the middle of the square was a tent, and in the middle of the tent was a stripper pole. That was pretty much our after-show every night, and Tommy Lee would DJ. It was a lot of fun, not a lot of people - two busses. Really fun tour.

Justin Timberlake was great. I did the Future Sex Love tour. Justin was a lot of fun because he was always around, it was a loose tour in that way - he hung out with crew a lot.

One of the first shows I ever did was for U2, not as a touring person, but as local labor. Just the fact that I could get to the point that I was working for the band was a huge accomplishment for me.

This tour too. I’m lucky to be on this ‘Us and Them’ tour, but I got to do ‘The Wall’ a couple years ago with Roger (Waters). The very first show I ever did was Pink Floyd in Cleveland - the ‘Division Bell’ tour. To be able to now work for Roger, and come full circle is great. To see Roger, and he knows who I am and says hello... It’s a very cool thing. I’m very lucky.”

--What do you do with your down time on tour?

“Photography, I try and do as much as possible. On my days off, I either go record shopping, or I’ll take my camera out and walk around doing street photography. Especially when we do cities in Europe. It’s hard not to take your camera out when you’re in Venice.”

*I should take a moment to mention that Jesse is a very talented photographer, and his work can be seen on his website, as well as some images of his on the Foo Fighters website. There’s a link to his site and his Instagram feed at the end of this page.

--What’s your plan after tour life, or are you a lifer on tour?

“I like to take things one thing at a time and let things happen as they happen. I’ve been really lucky the last few tours to be able to shoot (photos) during the shows. I could see doing that. It’s become a complex thing (as a touring concert photographer), but I could see doing that. Maybe my wife will stay really busy, and I’ll stay home...”

--What are some of the things you’ve learned, pearls of wisdom from the road?

“Time moves by faster than you think. Try and take it slowly as possible, and try not to miss moments. I think being able to tour is a great thing, but it’s also an enormous amount of work - long days. Just like any other job, you sacrifice something. We sacrifice time with our families and friends, and we’re always gone. I think, when you do get those chances, you take advantage of them and try to appreciate the time that you do have with the people that you have. The same thing with the music part of it, we work really hard and there are moments out on the road which are really amazing. I was right in front of Dave (Grohl, frontman of Foo Fighters) when he broke his leg, and in fact took his guitar from him when he was on the ground. Not a great moment for Dave, but an iconic moment, and I was lucky enough to be in that moment with them. I try and appreciate the amazing moments that this job has put me in.”

To see Jesse’s photos from on tour, check out his website at:

www.jesse-thayer.com

and Instagram: @jessethayerphotography

[hookysblog]

UNITED STATES of AMERICA

Pottsy out of his box again!

WEBSTER HALL, NEW YORK 1ST.

Lovely to be back in America to premiere the Substance tour, today is Friday. The plane we flew over on must have been in service from the 70’s? You didn’t have to look out of the window you could just look out between the gaps in the bulkheads…..scary! Apart from that it was a nice flight over to Toronto to sort out the Merch for our tour. Then we make our way to N.Y.C, and sure enough landing in New York is wonderful to see still, but the traffic afterwards, is terrible;( Luckily our hotel is near the gig so I can walk to sound check and then after to the gig, which is great fun.

This really is a supercharged city, crackling with energy. This first night is nearly full and the atmosphere is superb. A great reception for New Order and again for Joy Division, quite balanced I thought. It is lovely to be here. Only problem I have is my transmitter for my guitar will not work??? And if I move more than 4 ft away from it the signal drops completely …so no bass. This really hampers me on stage, as I cannot go to the sides. What a bummer. I hate it;( I am thinking it's the Bluetooth signal being overloaded or bounced back by everybody’s phone in the Hall). Shit! I struggle through feeling very immobile. Outside afterwards two English girls grab me and go to great lengths to tell me that,

‘It felt like Art. In fact it was Art.’ They chorus.

I am very flattered. It isn’t easy by any means, but The Light work so hard for me, and the music, that sometimes it feels it. Thank you boys!

 WEBSTER HALL, NEW YORK 2Nd.

Back to the gym for me and a nice afternoon beckons. As I walk to the gig again, I marvel at how busy this town is. It is Saturday night and you can feel it in the air…..Hope and Life everywhere. Everything I see as I walk along reminds me of film after film, or series after series, Assault on Precinct 13, Kramer vs Kramer etc., Kojak to Sex and The City. Bonkers. The second night is better than ever as I start to relax a little. We have many new and old friends present which is lovely. A SELL OUT! crowd goes mental from start to finish, the bass is the same, meaning I cannot venture far from my transmitter, which is now really annoying me as I forgot to mention it to Phil. Afterwards he puts me in an Uber saying,

‘You can’t walk at this time it’s dangerous!’

Oh how I regret that. It took 25 mins to walk and in the cab 75mins? As I drag myself to bed tired out (then can’t sleep because of the adrenaline/Jet lag) I think how lucky I am. Thank you God.

Up early, a bit bleary eyed but so are the others, and we get join the crawl to JFK for our flight to…..

 THE WILTERN, LOS ANGELES.

 I love L.A, always have, ever since the first time we came in 1981 and Bruce Willis stopped in his Mercedes 500 to let us cross Sunset Boulevard. What a place! It is totally ridiculous but great fun. The Wiltern on Wiltshire is a wonderful old theatre, very well kept and still beautiful inside and out.

Huge and ‘Sold Out’ again, what is going on??? I am very proud. Tonight my old mucker Moby is on board singing Ceremony and Transmission.

He seems very relaxed indeed, and both songs go off without a hitch. Afterwards I meet a young girl absolutely covered in tattoos, all of Joy Division. She is very young and proudly rolls her sleeve up to show me…..my signature??? Tattooed on her arm from when I signed it in 2013. WOW!

I am amazed by our fan’s devotion, I really am. It is humbling.

I get to see some great old friends while I am here, and learn some very interesting things about New Odour. But hey, let’s not go there;) Let’s keep it light, no pun intended;)

 SAN ANTONIO

A nice flight down to San Antonio, which has just been flooded and our Hotel smells like it too. It stinks of damp and humidity. The gig is a funky old club but quite small but has been SOLD OUT! for months, and as the evening and my old friend Kerry Jagger appears, the place is packed, and amazingly both sides, left and right, open out to let in more people. We play very well and it is as hot as hell. I help a woman out with some water at the front of the stage for her young daughter, eventually I have to bring them both up on stage for the rest of the set, it is simply too boisterous at the front. Afterwards as we chat, she tells me she had been to see New Odour recently and her daughter had thrown up at their gig! I am lost for words, but take it as a compliment;)

 CAFÉ IGUANA, MONTEREY, MEXICO.

 A nice flight sees us in Mehico again, and Monterey is a very American city. Sold out tonight and it does not disappoint. A very enthusiastic audience love New Order then devour Joy Division. Fantastic.

 JOSE CUERVO PEPSI HALL, MEXICO CITY.

Nice to see our old friend Hector.

Mexico City is proving to be a fantastic place for us to play, simply because of the adoration of Joy Division. It seems the most searched for group on the internet in Mexico City is the Manchester Post Punk Pioneers….Hooray! Hence all the bootleg merchandise stalls outside the venue. Like a little village of illicit merch!

The venue is huge and we are told The Stone Roses played 3 weeks ago and got 5000 people. Tonight we get 4600! I am delighted. The New Order section goes well but The Joy Division set goes down bonkers….It is  amazing! I am flabbergasted. I tear off into the night as the last chord of L.W.T.U.A. is still ringing in my ears, smiling like a lunatic. I had spent the day jogging round the city and it is such a delightful place, the people are lovely. I am amazed that American’s are so scared of the place;(

 GUADALAJARA

  After last night we are really looking forward to playing here, but typically after the fantastic high of last night we are due a low. The lads have trouble from the moment they get into the venue. A dangerous stage, a P.A. company that normally does weddings, complete with a dangerous generator, terrible backline hire gear, no security, no promoter etc, etc.,

Phil phones me to tell me how bad it is going and worrying about not only our safety but also the audiences. No one at the venue seems to know how many tickets have been sold and Phil takes the heart breaking decision to pull the gig;( What a shame. We are devastated. We were having such a great time too. A quiet night beckons and then we make the long journey home on two of the oldest planes I have ever been on since coming out here. Blooming hell what’s going on?

  I arrive home and go into 10 days of book promotion, which was hard going.

Me an Bunny

Talking is so much more difficult than playing. It wears you out, it really does.

 me and ken

With a bit of promotion for The Hacienda Classical thrown in.

It’ll be soon time to come back to America;)

Cheers Hooky’ 16;)