#last drawing is what its starting to feel like btw i feel cringe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ayyponine · 7 months ago

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much like last year i got to enjoy some studio visits this weekend B)

(commentary in addition to description linked to each photo individually)

started out fresh w an art gallery (1, 2, 3) w some cool, colourful, eclectic and playful pieces on display. made a quick stop at work to say hi to a colleague i hadn't seen in a while before making my way to

my second location and biggest must-see (4, 5). Had a nice chat w artist who saw me look at one of her canvases frm the side so she was like lol do you paint or smth. bc i recognise how you're viewing these works when i go to a museum i do the same exact thing. I loved getting her perspective and a glimpse into her work process even if it's so different from mine idk it was cool! There was a whole collective of lil art studios scattered about the building surrounding a courtyard so i also entered a diff place and look. they were all about making zines. a group of ppl was chatting and making em. so i entered and was like hi ja sorry i kom ff binnenvallen maar ik weet niet goed wat er..... te bezine valt. which instantly made me cringe so hard i was ready to leave but the girl leading the workshop seemed thrilled to have me and explain the setup even if internally i was still like oh god why am i like this rip. i think i missed out on some more ateliers but mostly bc a lot of the artists were gathered in the lil courtyard having drinks and chatting and i was too intimidated to ask fr info or be spotted looking lost like some IDIOT so on i went rip.

quick stop at kids clothing shop which always cheers me up it's so whimsical and i want their stuff fr

Then onto 6, 7 where they had some cool stuff fr sure but the location was such a cramped and cluttered old row house and i had already spent my whole day walkign around in a T-shirt so especially trying to navigate around other visitors this was just not it babes. i moved on before having seen it all despite being interested bc i just needed to get tf out.

Managed my good deed fr the day when i spotted a confused looking older couple w a wheeled suitcase and personally guided them to their hotel

THEN on to this hidden lil atelier where i also went last year + attended a grand total of 2 life drawing sessions in the months after. again while arriving i was faced w the distinct feeling of having barged in on a private party of artists all at a table sharing a leisurely drink on a dreamy sunday afternoon rip BUT. the artist i talked to last time/followed the drawing sessions with was there, still knew me by name and made some small talk to help me feel welcome what an absolute gem. he even proposed i sit w them at the table & hang out fr a bit, when i said like hmm thank you but to just join up w a group of friends who all know each other it's a lil daunting he even said like but i know them, and i know you so its all ok :) i was internally like cool. i would takea fucking bullet fr you btw this is totally fine and i can not believe you are still willingly talking to me, the single most embarrassing person to ever exist in the world

anyway i did not accept the offer to stay fr a while but did chat w some of the other artists which was again super cool, to get more info on the diff works on display. they seem like a rlly sweet and charming collective of people and i wish i didn't feel so ashamed of myself so i couldve spent more time with them all but aint that the way. debating atm whether i should sign up fr another life drawing class or if the guy was only being nice bc he felt obligated and would actually prefer i keep my flustered and off putting vibes tf away from his personal and professional work space idk.

anyway. i had the wrong address so almost missed out on my last visit but in the final hour it was still possible i did manage to find the last location (8, 9) w an exhibit on themes of europe, durability and the meaning of home. there was a really cool piece on trees & difficulty in their sap stream where you could touch a chunk of wood and feel clicks resonate through a speaker mounted on the back, a glass installation on koekhappen re: jumping through hoops fr resource accessibility & probably my fave: the audio of welcoming messages. esp smth about the french speaker was so warm idk there seemed to be genuine relief in the confession of "je suis tellement heureuse de te voir, que tu m'as manqué" which also btw. god ive always loved that expression. ive missed you you have been missing FROM me or smth more in that direction of semantics i. insane

then biked on to my moms again to get some got damn. peace and quiet. and a cinnamon roll w vanilla ice cream <3

#mine #i am rapidly switching btwn moods of i am somewhat ok with life and i am but a total embarrasment others repeatedly are burdened with but.#aint that just the way i suppose

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

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hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT 'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.

taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.

'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you. 'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?

'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).

'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

us <3 HELLO. actually im the cat in the background HAHAHAH so sleepy HAHAHAHAHA i love sleeping

hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

<3 FREEZY HUGS thank you. it has been pretty cool the past few days. undoubtedly because of your hug hugs <3

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT

my cat did that too. i assure you, its not a kiss but a smell. LOL

'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

T_T yeah jinjin fr put him through so much T_T like he would let the mouse crawl up the wall in an attempt to get away, but then he would pounce the poor thing and knock the mouse to the floor T_T i think we let him do this for ??? an hour??? T_T he doesn't know how to kill mouse T_T he's such a house cat. even his papa yushi is like that T_T BUT YUSHI IS WORSE. LITERALLY BRUTALIZES WHATEVER HE HUNTS. grabs them with his teeth then YEEEEETS them back and forth T_T NEVER KILLS THEM just keeps them in constant fear. a true menace. T_T yushi's mom, meowmeow, was the BEST KILLER or hunter, she was swift and merciful. the moment she got a mouse, she'd kill it it by choking it then eat it. T_T i mourn the fact meowmeow never got to teach her babies how to hunt cos our neighbors gave her away T_T and thus yushi never got to teach/show jinjin how to do that either T_T anyway jinjin and yushi = menace; mochi (yushi's brother) normally did that with lizards T_T he'd always end up breaking the poor lizard's tail before it eventually dies T_T ALSFHASFAL:SFHASF brutal. i miss mochi, i almost cried again thinking about him

IT WASNT A TRIAL T_T HELPPPP AHHAHHAH it was because the tiny onions came from my aunt's farm and they had been in the refrigerator for like so long so she was like do them all and i CRIED. HAHHAAH its funny i said the same thing. <3 love that for me. unfortunately, i see onion everyday T_T we can never break up T_T

it does look like cognac and caramel. !!! I HOPE YOU FIND A PLACE THAT SELLS FILIPINO FOOD!!!! maybe im biased but i think ALL those food is amazing LOL I MEAN I SHARED THEM of course i love them HAHH. i understand what you mean about unusual but is kind of amusing to think these foods are super normal to me hHIHIHIH cultural perspective is weird lol. also yes i am the pretty grandchild (even tho my grandma gaslighted me as a child into thinking i was ugly T_T HELP)

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

HAHAHHA YOU ARE MY MUNING MY LIZAR MUNING MINGMING LOVE LOVE HAHAHHA

HEY!?! why wouldn't i give my congratulations to her 😡😭 ok maybe not right now she's in school. but i talk to her about you HAHAHHAH and she doesnt gaf T_T so /: yeah ig in english congratuations does mean that, praising someone for what they did. but i mean a birthday is a level up so CONGRATS! you made it this far <3 idk why youre judging again ? /: youre so judgy T_T

THE CAKE WAS SUPER TASTY but i did this thing again where i got more because i wanted more even though there was still some in my plate and then i suddenly became full halfway finishing my plate and then i was T_T forcing myself to finish cos i dont like wasting food. anyway i brought it up with me and ate it after a few minutes... then...i ... got some more T_T HAAHAHAH

OMG YOUR MOM MAKES CAKES i immediately though does she doe international shipping HAHAH but even if she did T_T im pretty sure that would be a bad idea cos her cake would be .... not cake anymore by the time it got here T_T HAHAHA

YOU HAVE FRIENDS WITH MUSIC TRAUMA HELPPPPPPP T_T also it's not bad! i just explained it to you because its VERY INTERESTING TO ME not because it's bad unexpected because before this there was no indication it was going to happen. im glad you think its great T_T i hope you understand somehow T_T i dont want to be telling you things and just confusing you T_T

'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

YOU DREW NOTES IN KINDERGARTEN !!!!!!!!!!! WHHHATT I ONLY STARTED DRAWING NOTES IN LIKE HIGHSCHOOL T_T. i dont want to be kissed by my teachers... only a select few. i take all your freezy kisses and put them in my pocket for when i go to school later

omg same! we did that for highschool, like translating eng to fil and fil to eng and its like T_T so much gets lost in translation T_T. i actually saw this video of this man helping a cat down from a really high post and he was like давайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавай and i was like ??? so i was like ok i think i know what that means but then the english translation wasnt the one in my head so iwas just very confused but then i thought its probably a lose translation and i am better than this english translator because i know nuisances happen in translations HAHAHAHAHAHAH but idk what the translation was in the subs anymore HAHAHAHAH

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

ok HAHAHA then ig that means its really not a bad word AHAAH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH i dont think its an insult T_T but i mean if people made memes about my president/culture id feel really cringe about it BUT ALSO ITS FUCKING TRUE OUR PRESIDENT is CRINGE. i think memes are a great way to kind of ... critique society. we are all cringe. and we should all be better. also i;ll tell my brother about this later HAHAHAH

nvm i talked to him already

he knows atomic heart, and he says he thinks the plot of the game is interesting because its imaging a world where the soviets were competent enough to advance technologically in such a short period of time. also he says he wants to start a violent conversation with you HHAHAHH what do you feel about ukraine and the kidnapping of ukraninan children by the russian military and the wagner group, also on a less serious side how do you feel about TES3 morowind.

i just typed that how he told it to me. HGAHAHHAHAAH

he says the real reason why he's interested in russian culture is the disparity between the serfs and stuff ??? he's ranting rn incant type it all. he says its the novels. he wants me to remove some parts im not going to AHHAHAHAHAHA. he says you should have been burned my napoleon HAHAHAHAH. he wants to tell you so many stuff T_T (i think he wants to steal you from me i wont let him ur mine)

he says people normally go 'i will die for justice i will die for freedom' but russian says 'i will die' he finds that interesting.

he's saying a bunch of stuff about russian people. some guy ??? i didnt' catch it. 'everything in russia became rapidly modern after being free from the mongols all the way to modern russia, your problem is the oligarchy and the leaders of your country T_T dumb shits' HAHAHAHAHA

russians are hardworking but yall are brainwashed from tzars to princesses to putin. yall should apparently follow france and VIVA REVOLUTION lol. idk he's mentioning more people, Hadrian? idk some rando... from rome? and aurelian? ok. too much info. idk.

'russia is third rome? why dont you do the same things that made rome good'

he knows roadside picnic?

ukraine is older than russia but its older

just typing the things he's saying

final word: the white army should have won against the red army. HAHAHHAHAH

He wants me to ask you: what do you think based on what he's said, is he unhinged™?

ok let me offend you then. i hate you :P SSKKSKS IM KIDDING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

i have not T_T i forgot about it aslfhasfkahfas i'll LISTEN WHEN I GET COME FROM SCHOOL I PROMISE

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

T_T no. we should have a house in the woods and take care of strays

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH ok then hahahah i still want to finish the kylo fic i have been writing for days so T_T

SO TRUE all these middle aged men that i love so much T_T ben barnes so pretty. AND THE HEADCANON WITH DAEMON L:ASHFLHASFLHASLFHASFH I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT TO LIVE IT T_T

it is interesting. i like this idea <3 daemon is at his core a baby bro. idk if its out of character, i think daemon can be whatever you him to be. My brother said daemon is the worst ever in game of thrones and ???? I asked him if he even read it and he said he only knows outside stuff (hes dumb idc i love Daemon) but he agrees that Daemon is great cos of hiss actor. And i agree i love matty meow meow

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

i'll tell you next letter i have to go home. i said i would go to school but i got lazy im just going to our old house to do laundry lol

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my brother read aloud this and i was like ??? what is he quoting this time and it was just you AHAHAHAHAHHAAH

i'll listen to these later i promise

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

OK HAHAHHAHAHAHH i will shower later. my brother said i should bathe/drink my own sweat DISGUSTING RAT.

i love you byeeee <3

i ate crinkles also i hope you like crinkles.

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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lazywonderlvnd · 4 years ago

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Hi, if you are still taking prompts; A magically powerful Harry not noticing that his magic does things to make Draco happy. This can be pre-relationship or established relationship. Like it starts of with his tea being exactly as he likes and always the right temperature. Then evolves to rooms changing colour or weather changing or people being unable to invade Draco’s personal space due to an invisible barrier or something ridiculous. Btw Draco doesn’t notice as well.

anon.....you really killed me w this one. i’ve been so emo over this wyugeahrwiw might end up writing smth longer tbh bc this concept is literally the only thing that matters to me!!!!!!! i hope u enjoy i had so much fun with it ❤️❤️❤️

“Harry, you do it. Please.”

“No.”

“Please!”

“We’re fucking watching something, Draco!”

“So just pause it!”

Harry grabs the pillow on his lap and slams it onto the sofa next to him. Hermione can see dust rise in its wake. He pauses the telly.

“Are you doing it?” Draco asks hopefully. Harry scowls at him.

“Well you won’t shut up until I do, will you?”

“Definitely not.”

Harry disappears into the kitchen and Draco sits there looking smug.

“It’s kind of sick how you get off on bossing him around,” says Ron, his tone one of simple observation. His fingers are idly playing with Hermione’s hair, but she doesn’t think he notices he’s doing it.

“If I’m not mean to him a few times a week I break out in a rash, Weasley,” Draco says blithely. “Besides, he makes it perfectly. I don’t know how he does it, it’s always exactly the right temperature and sweetness and all that. I s’pose his years as a house-elf for those Muggles gave him plenty of time to perfect the art.”

“You’re a twat,” says Ron. “And my mum makes tea better than him.”

“Well you’re just a pitiful little mummy’s boy, aren’t you, Weasley? We can hardly trust your opinion.”

“Hark who the hell’s talking,” Ron scoffs. “Least I’m not twenty-three and still calling my mum ‘mummy’ like the world’s biggest bloody ponce.”

Draco splutters but before he can retort Harry’s coming back into the room hovering four cups of tea that float placidly to each of them. Draco looks exactly like a satisfied cat as he takes his and Harry drops back down onto the sofa next to him. Not too close, but certainly not too far, either.

“Literally exquisite,” Draco declares after he’s taken a sip. Ron rolls his eyes.

“It’s just tea, Draco,” says Harry, and he grabs for the remote to turn the film back on. “You’re such a demanding little brat. Merlin’s fucking tits.”

But Draco looks happy and Harry looks suspiciously content as well. Ron turns to her and makes a silent gagging face. Hermione snorts and puts a finger to her lips. They’ve decided not to say anything yet.

“Wasn’t this place a lot … uglier last time?”

“What?” Harry says absently. He’s not listening — he’s got all his attention zeroed in on a stack of parchment he’s holding. They’d only barely dragged him along to lunch; earlier the captain of the English National Team had apparently owled him a great number of brand-new Quidditch plays and required Harry’s extensive thoughts and notes before their next practise, which was tomorrow morning.

“Uglier,” Draco says emphatically, and Ron mutters something she doesn’t catch. “Remember? The walls were that tragic egg-yolk colour.” He shivers. Hermione thinks it might have been an honest-to-god shiver of revulsion. She also thinks she knows what’s happened, even though the extent of it surprises her.

“Maybe someone heard you whingeing and changed it,” Ron apparently can’t stop himself from saying with a snigger. Hermione elbows him hard and he shoots her a glare, mouthing, he doesn’t know!

Harry would usually be the one to take the lead and get them a table when all four of them go out to eat together but today he’s too wrapped up in his Quidditch plays, so Ron steps forward and does it, which makes Hermione’s chest flutter pleasantly. He’d blush down to his bones if she ever said it aloud but he’s quite capable of being a leader in Harry’s absences.

“Whatever happened,” says Draco pointedly as they’re led to their table, “it’s a great bloody blessing, I was genuinely unsure I’d have the mental fortitude to survive another assault like that on my delicate senses. And, I mean, this —” he gestures to the walls, which are now an admittedly pleasing dark teal above a white trim “— is stunning. It’s my favourite colour.”

“Is it? So weird they picked your favourite colour completely by coincidence,” Ron says, and Hermione elbows him again. Draco notices nothing and neither does Harry, although he does finally set the plays aside once they’re seated at the table.

“Are you complaining about the wall colour again?” he asks drily. They would both be extremely displeased to know they sound like an old married couple. Draco snatches haughtily at the paper napkin on the table and unfolds it to place over his lap. The first time he’d ever done this at a regular, decidedly not upscale restaurant Ron had taken it upon himself to spend the entire meal adopting a posh accent to match Draco’s and saying things to the waiter like “Don’t you have crystal?” while holding up a glass cup full of Pepsi and then commenting “These aren’t real silver, you know” after making a show of inspecting the titanium utensils.

“I can complain about hideous design choices if I want to,” Draco tells Harry with his nose in the air. “Thankfully they’ve rectified it this time.”

On the other side of the restaurant, Hermione sees two employees talking, one of them gesturing at the wall with utter bewilderment. She doesn’t point it out.

“Twelve o’clock,” says Ron, nodding past Draco’s shoulder. “Some bloke staring you down hard, Malfoy.”

Draco looks excitedly behind him, but what Hermione takes more notice of is the way Harry’s face falls a little. She can’t help but wonder if he even realises it’s happened. She’s almost certain he’s aware of his feelings for Draco even though he still hasn’t said anything to her (and she’s been waiting months now, the effort of holding her tongue growing only more difficult by the day, and she knows Ron’s always seconds away from shouting at him) but she doesn’t think he knows how obvious he is. Draco doesn’t seem to know either, but she thinks that’s because Draco feels exactly the same way. She’d have called them morons, but she remembers too well how long it had taken her and Ron.

“What the fuck, Weasley,” Draco hisses, turning back around with a scowl that makes Ron laugh and Harry perk up again a little bit. “He looks like he hasn’t washed his hair in weeks.”

“Now, now,” says Ron, “mustn’t judge books by their greasy covers.”

“Then you go shag him if you think he’s so fit.”

“Maybe I will,” Ron says airily, as if he really is considering it, and Hermione can’t help chuckling and kissing his cheek. Then his expression changes to one of wicked amusement, which makes all of them look round to see the bloke coming their way. Hermione glances at Harry to find that — oh yes, he looks flustered and vaguely upset.

“Hullo,” says the greasy bloke to Draco as he comes up beside him at their table. He’s really not terrible-looking, but if she’s learned anything about Draco in the last couple years it’s that his standards amount to models and Harry Potter, so this man has almost no chance.

“Hello,” Draco drawls, reminding her fiercely of his younger self at Hogwarts. “I’m not interested.”

“Right little narcissistic bugger, aren’t you?” the man says. And now, finally, he’s begun to look as revolting to Hermione as he’d done initially to Draco — a repellent personality can do that. “Maybe I just wanted to come and have a chat.”

“Then why aren’t you looking at any of the rest of us?” Ron asks, sounding halfway between amused still and a little put off.

“Can you leave, please?” Draco interjects, cringing away from the man encroaching slowly on his personal space. And suddenly, as he looks on the verge of antagonising Draco further, he shifts his feet and slips, landing right on his bum with a yell of surprise. All four of them get to their feet to see, but there doesn’t seem to be any liquid or even slimy food for him to have tripped on.

“The fuck ...?” the man says, getting back to his feet. But when he moved towards Draco, he only slips again, on absolutely nothing at all. Something clicks and Hermione looks at Harry: he seems as confused as anyone else (if obviously pleased).

She looks at Ron then, who catches her eye and lifts his brows like he’s thinking the same thing.

Draco’s suitor gets up once more and steadies himself, looking a bit dazed. Some deep animal instinct seems to tell him to stop trying, and with a wary glance at Draco he finally leaves.

“Well that was a bit of a fucking scene,” says Harry. Draco, coming out of his own startled daze, laughs.

“Yeah,” Ron says sarcastically, “wonder what could’ve possibly happened.”

“I really thought it was going to rain,” Draco mopes where he’s standing at the window. It’s grey outside but it definitely doesn’t look like rain and Draco appears so upset about it that Hermione actually feels badly, even though she’s quite glad for the clear weather.

“Just shut the curtains,” Ron suggests from his place on the floor. He’s sorting through Harry’s collection of VHS tapes, trying to decide on a good Halloween movie. Not that he’s ever seen any of them, and Hermione suspects he’ll end up choosing whichever cover he likes best.

“It’s not the same!” Draco wails. “The thunder and lightning is all part of it, you uncultured pillock! The atmosphere is all wrong.”

“It’ll be just as good when we shut off all the lights and draw the curtains,” she assures him, but it doesn’t remove the look of disappointment from his face. It’s a pouty sort of thing that echoes the brattiness of his youth; she imagines a five-or-six-year-old Draco giving his parents similar looks when he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

At that moment the front door opens and Harry walks in carrying two grocery bags, one of which contains alcohol, which Hermione can tell by the way the plastic is bulging around the cans.

“The fuck are you all doing here?” he says by way of greeting.

“You said eight o’clock, fuckhead,” Ron tells him without looking up. “But it’s fine, I’ve had time to pick a film and Malfoy’s had time to moan about the weather.”

“What’s wrong with the weather?”

“I wanted a storm!”

At that exact moment, a flash of lightning lights up the sky behind Harry where he hasn’t even closed the door yet. Seconds later a downpour begins, and then there’s a rolling crash of thunder.

Hermione’s eyes widen and once more she finds Ron’s gaze, who looks about as shocked as she feels. Draco, meanwhile, has his hands over his mouth and looks like a child on Christmas morning.

For the first time since his magic had begun picking up on Draco’s wishes and granting them of seemingly its own accord, Hermione sees Harry look suspicious. He peers behind him at the storm suddenly raging outside his house before slowly closing the door. When he turns back he looks directly at Hermione, who looks away quickly.

They set up the food Harry had gotten — all kinds of Halloween-themed sweets — and once everyone has their drinks (“Make mine,” Draco tells Harry, “you do it best”) and is comfortable on the two sofas in the room (Harry and Draco are, as usual, as close to each other as they can get without actually touching) they start the movie: The Thing, which Harry swears is one of the greatest horror films of all time.

Funny thing is, an hour and a half into it she looks over and, with a jolt, realises the two of them are kissing half-covered beneath a blanket. She elbows Ron, who positively beams when he notices.

“Fucking finally, dear sweet Merlin,” he whispers, the sound muffled by the continued rain and thunder. “I nearly hit him upside the head when he made it rain, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shh!” Hermione hisses, though she’s smiling. “They’ll hear you. We’ll rag him about it tomorrow.”

A soft sound of laughter comes from the other sofa that Hermione identifies as Draco’s, and when she risks another peek after a moment she sees that Harry has a hand on Draco’s jaw, and that he’s smiling.

#anna writes #this prompt rly sent me into a tailspin of emotion #Anonymous

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cthomashoodstory · 3 years ago

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Best Years but Not in the Same Way (27)

Calum Hood x Reader

Previous Part

Hi guys if you’re confused I’m pairing Calum Hood and Reader but the character is Barbara Palvin, well… this story is a spin off based on stories i made on wattpad and it’s on my local language and i moved this story to Tumblr and i wanna make this story and the main character is the reader but I’m so attached with the barbara palvin character so… just pretend that you’re barbara hehe. Enjoy!

Oh btw if you just read this part and haven’t read the entire story, i put thr masterlist link below.

Masterslist

Calum and his band were busy promoting their new single, Easier since its released two weeks ago. And you were busy with your life at studio, working for Shawn Mendes’ upcoming album that he would released in 2020.

You were at your place right now since you decided not to come to studio because today was the schedule for you to clean up your apartment and you decided to do it now.

You started cleaning up the living room. Paving away the dust with feather duster, vacuumed the carpet, sofa and also the pillow. Then you moving to the kitchen, dining room, room behind the kitchen, and last your bedroom.

It wasn’t that hard to clean up your bedroom because it basically just clean since you did it everyday.

And now it’s time for you to decluttering your wardrobe. You went through your stuffs that you put on the box. You opened the first box and you found album photos of you as a little kid. You smiled when you saw it one by one. Then you stared at the picture of you and your parents at the park somewhere. You were in the middle, your mom was on your left and your dad was on your right. Your both hand held their hands and you were smiling. Such a decent smile.

You closed the album and saw the other things, like the present that your parent bought it to you, your first drawing of you and your parents and basically it was a stuffs that reminds you of your childhood. Going through on some memories sometimes is the best thing.

Then you moved on to the next box, which was your handwriting about poetry, motivation words, quotes, some lyrics you made when you were in high school. You read it one by one and you giggled. Young Saara Palvin really had a wild imagination. How could she even wrote a lyric about love when she never felt that before? Lol.

You saw a quote you made in a special quotes book, with a fractions of cd.

(Credit to @.thetypewriterdaily on instagram)

It was so cute honestly. How could you ever made such a beautiful words like that? You took a picture of it and posted it on your Instagram feed.

You put your phone away and then you put all the stuffs back to the box and moved on to the next box, which is the recent lyric books since 2013 until present. It was actually the lyrics you made when you were dealing with your hard emotion, for example the lyric you gave to Mali when you helped her with her single, it was came from this box. Everything you wrote when you were in your hard time, and you decided not to use it, you put it in this box. There was 3 books, the book one is from 2013-2015, second book from 2016 and the last one from 2017-2018.

You looked up at the first book and it mostly my writing about love, friendship, Calum. Yes, since you became friends with him, not long enough after a ‘bad’ introduction between you and him, you started to wrote songs about love and it inspired by him. You were smiling like a crazy person because the lyric was so cheesy and cringe. You also wrote songs about your trip with the boys, it was so fun to be remembered.

Ah, the more you thinking about it, the more you feeling so happy and grateful to be friends with Michael, Luke, Ashton and Calum. You also thanked God and Mike (Posner) for made you working with Jake Sinclair.

Then you opened the second book, 2016 book, which was the darkest book you’ve ever written. It was full of cursing, bad words, and it was basically not worth to read. You know the reason. Your ex. The famous singer ex that broke your heart more than you ever counted. He really torn you apart until this book existed.

You still hated him until today for making you suffered and gone through this phase, but you slowly letting it go away. Your anger is slowly fading away because you realized that horrible moment really lead you to your recent life. You found your happiness, and now you’re happy. Then you closed the book and put it back to the box and you decided not to throw it away because that book is part of your life.

Moved on to the last book, you only found lyric that you wrote only on a paper and the rest is blank. And its title called Habitual. Oh. You remembered you wrote it for months when you were still engaged to Justin. You really took your time writing it because you wanted the song to be perfect and you’ll giving it to someone that really deserve it.

You sighed. The song is finished and yet, you didn’t gave it to anyone. You felt hurt and angry at the same time. You didn’t know why.

Then you called your long time friend, Jason Boyd aka Poo Bear. You worked with him on Justin’s Purpose album at 2015.

“Saara Palvin,” he greeted you right away. “It’s been a long time, girl. How are you?” He sounded so excited.

“I’m fine, what about you?” You asked him

He laughed. “As always, I’m healthy and good. So, what’s up Palvin?”

“Oh,” you paused. “I just opened my old notebook and i found lyric that i’ve been kept for years and i think i will past it to you.”

“Are you for real?” He sounded surprised. “I have been waiting for something from you Saara. I’m so excited for what you’ll give me.”

You laughed. “Yeah i named it habitual, and i think i made a demo somewhere. I will email you the details. And the song and the lyric are all yours and you can use it or toss it or whatever. And you don’t have to gave me any credit. It’s all yours and you’re the only one i called.”

“Thank you so much Saara. I will… i have to give you credits and I believe the song you made is amazing. Thank you again Saar.”

You hung up the call and put all the books back to the box and put it back to your wardrobe. Then you opened your laptop to find the Habitual demo you made 2 years ago.

Finally you found it and you emailed Poo Bear the demo and the lyric you convert to pdf. All the lyrics you made, use or not use, you always save it digitally and non digital. You felt relieved knowing that the song is passed to someone else and you didn’t have to keep it forever.

The next minutes Calum texted you and you ended up chatting with your boyfriend.

To be continued

Next Part

#calum hood #calum thomas hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood x reader #calum fic #calum fanfiction #calum fanfic #calum imagine #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic #ashton irwin #michael clifford #luke hemmings

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adorpheus · 4 years ago

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on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

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char-lotteral · 4 years ago

Note

Look I'm not one of those people who believe Kishimoto decided to have Hinata and Naruto end up in the middle part of Shippuden. I believe he decided in the very last arc but he wanted to sound smart so he said he decided earlier on. Otherwise, they obviously would have more scene together. In Shippuden, they have only three scenes together ; when Naruto came back, the pain attack and the neji death scene. That's it. In the original Naruto, they probably have less than ten canon scenes not including fillers.

So I'm sorry I'm one of those who wasn't convinced by The Last. They literally had a basic villain go after Hinata who was cringe btw (the villain). They gave Hinata op powers which she doesn't have in the novel 👀. Despite having op powers, they made her the damsel in distress. Very "The hero saves the princess" cliche. Again, to justify them being together. I mean Naruto can't differentiate his love for ramen and romantic love so how??? He was just being nice to Hinata just like he does to everyone. He stood up for her just like he does for everyone.

Don't get me started on the Sakura Sasuke relationship 🤣. Cringe. They never knew each other. The whole Sakura's love for Sasuke saved him doesn't make sense. They spent barely a year in their genin year before sasuke left. Sasuke tried to kill Naruto and Sakura multiple times. Then at the end of the war, Kishimoto tried to do the "oh they have such a deep understanding between each other" which comes off as cringey. He gets her pregnant then leaves for years. She's literally a single mom who's broke.

Every relationship in Naruto is so cringey and forced except shikatemari. Kishimoto should've focused on the main story and fixed his potholes and leave the ending open.

Naruto would not have been perfect but at least it would've been remembered for staying true to its vision but instead it's remembered for cringey relationships, dumbass villain (except pain and madara) and a story that lost its core which is a shame coz I used to love Naruto. I was inspired by its messages but now....

OKAY LOL WAIT I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS LONG ASS RANT PREPARED XD

BUT FIRST Ive read what you said and I lowkey agree :p

HOWEVER

I DRAW THE LINE AT TONERI SLANDER. BECAUSE WHY

TONERI?? CRINGE?? THIS SEXY MOTHERFUCKER??

LOOK AT HIS WHITE FLUFFY HAIR AND HIS CERULEAN BLUE ORBS STARING DEEPLY INTO YOUR SOUL

SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW?!#*@*#&@*

okay lol now for the juicy part click readmore and beware I shall be brutally honest so yea enjoy

I mean, Naruto in general is a mess, not just the ships if we're being realistic. Alot of plotholes, rushed endings, this and that, the w a r a r c, Kaguya, the way they rushed Boruto ehhh. Honestly, getting into Naruto is literally my biggest regret of 2020 :"DD

Im an NH shipper as you can tell by my hotmess of a blog but i fully respect your opinion and understand your point of view. I also know a bunch of nh stans who have their complaints with their development. I wish Kishi gave more attention to his female cast really, thats all I fucking ask. If he did that one single basic thing, then maybe the endgame relationships wouldnt have been an asspull and theyd be given propper screentime with their love interest, both Sakura and Hinata. The Last tbh i think the writers played it safe and stuck to the whole Naruto shounen vibe thingy, so im not surprised it was plotted that way. Typical cliché shounen movie.

But does that bother me? No! The Last was a mess, their development was shit, they definitely needed more screentime but hey at the end of the day theyre cute as fuck, we have that kiss scene, flirting scenes, a shit ton of official art, three kids, Seiki's gif :33 and a whole ass arc for their wedding all that for just a shounen anime so eh. Compensates for it i guess xD theyre not toxic, unhealthy or whatnot. Theyre wholesome, soft and vanilla as fuck and exactly what i need in my hectic life rn. No drama, just two kind souls who are adorable as heck and theyre dynamic means so much to me and I will love them until i shall leave this earth.

Anon, im not even gonna waste my time and defend their development because i think it sucked too xD but if you wanna know why i love them so so so soooo much, Id be more than willing to tell you :33

Sasuke and Sakura on the other hand eeeehhhh i can see why people like them. Sasuke's hot, he's your typical hot bad boy aad Sakura's hot and pretty too. Basic blue and pink trope. Aside from their canon interactions, fans have all the opportunity to play around with their dynamic but for me, its just sooo basic and so hetero and can easily appeal to any 16 yr old teenage girl, no wonder it has an active fanbase on twt and---- AM I MAKING ANY SENSE? AHDBAJJE LIKE ITS SO-- BASIC, your usual bad boy x pretty girl trope that you get to read in YA and coming of age novels. Not only that, but going back to canon, they have too many negative interactions for me to like them together :p The least Sakura can do is put down her own foot and yell at him for not contacting them for god knows how long. I also dont like how he always gets easily forgiven >=[[. I mean at least He's compensating as a dad good for him but ehhhh i still dont like him and Sakura together :v And im not falling for that "Sakura is the reason why Sasuke isnt lonely anymore" because thats NARUTO AHHH. Sasuke said that Multiple times. HE LIGHTS A FIRE INSIDE OF ME. HES MY SUN. MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND. LIEK?? THATS NARUTOOO romantic or not, Naruto was the reason for his not so lonely existence anymore smh >=[[

Sasuke almost murdered her and Naruto and made their lives a living hell but hey its all good!! He's my best friend and Sakura loves him!! So set him freeee into the worldddd~~

Sasuke left his family without even simply contacting them but can easily contact Naruto through a hawk but hey thats fine! His and Sakura's feelings are connected afterall! Sasuke gave her a ring and said thank you! Who cares about leaving your family. She loves him and he loves her so yey!!! All is forgiven :D

DID I MENTION SASUKE ALMOST MUREDERED HIS OWN DAUGHTER AND HE WASNT CALLED OUT FOR THAT@*#&@??!?#,*@#,#

Sasuke gets too many life points this isnt fair >=[[ But tbh he's nerfed so bad in Boruto manga and anime power wise. Like in that time travel arc and the manga. The rinnegan kunai thing was still so funny to me even if it was Borushiki. I just idk its so funny to me lmaoo

OKAY WHAT ELSE. I dont even know any more. Im tired of complaining about Naruto and just when Ive finally gone a little bit away from Naruto, Hinata fucking pulls me in again 😩 she has me on chokehold pls send help. Watch castlevania!!! and one piece!!!! ten times better than this anime about a loud blonde boi who wants to be president. Trust me

overall, i dont fully agree but i lowkey agree i guess. I do respect your opinion tho :))

EXCEPT WHEN YOU CALLED TONERI CRINGE. HOW DARE YOU CALL THAT SEXY MF CRINGEY---

#like at this point if you complain about naruhina to me id probably complain along with you #but at the end of the day #i really do not care lol #theyre CUTE AS FUCK AND I WILL COMMIT MASS MURDER FOR THESE PRECIOUS KIDS AND WOULD NOT FEEL AN OUNCE OF REMORSE #also i have like zero energy to find all those manga panels and debunk shit and stuff #i just say the first thing that comes to my brain and fart it out on my lonely tumblr blog #anon #hey hey anon ask me about why i love naruhina so much come on come on *aggressively bounces knees*#unpopular opinions

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mcrmadness · 4 years ago

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A Masterpost: ALL MY OLD die ärzte (aka Bela&Farin) COMICS (from 2010-2011)

I’ve lately been talking about my art, especially comics, here a lot but I have never posted my OLD old dä comics here! That’s about to change now. The old ones happened in 2010-2011 when I was 19-20 years old, so they are a bit cringy now :D The scans are my old ones so don’t mind about cat hair or something like that in some of the scans. And I know: my hand writing hasn’t really changed in the past 10-15 years at all :DD

And a slash warning (do I really need that with this fandom tho..?) because I used to draw just very fluffy Bela/Farin comics and they barely have any good plots even. There’s just 4 overall in this post and they all are quite short. But at least for me it’s fun to see how far I have come and how I’ve gotten better at drawing!

Anyway, without further ado, this is where it all started:

Bela&Farin - “Du willst mich küssen”

Simply the idea came from the fact I noticed that on the “Du willst mich küssen” single there’s only one additional song: “Die Antwort bist du”, and that one out of all the potential other songs from the studio album. (Now I’m wondering if I should try to redraw this some day to see my progress? :DD)

The rest under the cut because they get very cringy but if you want to read B/F fluff comics and facepalm at my idiotic humour, go ahead and click the read more link.

Bela&Farin - Bela will ein Baby

(eng. Bela wants to have a baby)

This one was the first I did in German and I traumatized myself. I had just started learning German and totally failed everything and an (old) online friend, native German, wrote something that indicated laughing and I felt so insecure about my German after that that even today I have a fear of saying/writing even simple German words in front of native Germans. She anyway “beta read” the plot and corrected every faulty phrase (aka every phrase) and this is what she suggested that I’d write, and that’s what I did.

The plot shortly: Bela just wants to have a baby but he wants it with Farin obviously, so Farin says they’re both men and can’t reproduce together but Bela found a solution: he found them a surrogate mother. Problem solved.

***

Bela&Farin - “Beer Belly”

Prepare yourself for a cringe overload :)) I’m so sorry that you have to suffer through this.

With this the idea came from the live videos I was watching back then - lots of live videos from 2007-2009 and I noticed that Bela just kept growing and losing his belly all the time. (OMG HELP I’m crying because “SQUEAK SQUEAK” XDDDDDD)

Also the ending is... I don’t know what is it. I guess I just wanted Rod ot make an appearance and didn’t come up anything better than this ::D My peak of humour is right there btw: anything that happens at the background. That shit just never gets old for me. So I find that still funny in this comic but I have no clue how a bass can be pregnant.

Also hey, I have started drawing shadows :DD

And yes, Bela actually did have a cow t-shirt like that in some of the videos and I just had to draw it! And btw, the reason for the fluff is probably because the concerts where those videos were from? It was extremely slashy, Bela and Farin barely could keep their hands off of each other so you really can’t blame me for all this. The ship just sails itself.

***

Bela&Farin - “Zucker”

(eng. “Sugar” - this one was again in German because it wouldn’t work in English. This time I think I did all the language stuff myself but I can’t remember for sure so maybe I got help, maybe I didn’t... This is the last one of these old comics and my personal favorite. You can see that my style somehow went through some major changes but I don’t know what even happened there. I can’t remember.)

I can’t get over Farin’s hair in the last panel, I drew it so perfectly and I still don’t know how to recreate that lol. And now I’m losing it at that tiny “XD” in the grin panel because I found it so stupid looking - the first time I had even drawn a grin for him lmao. Also ignore Farin’s arm that has suddenly lost all its color. (Aka: someone forgot to color it.)

THE IDEA for this comic is simply in the name of brown sugar. At least in Finnish that is called as “fariinisokeri”, which always amuses me still after 12 years because I am a bit simple sometimes, and I figured that it can also be called “Farinzucker” in German so of course I needed to make a Bela/Farin comic about it.

The dialog for those who don’t speak German (too well) yet - Bela just goes to Farin to ask for “Farin sugar” and Farin first is like “nope” but then “jk” and they lived happily ever after. Or something.

***

BONUS:

Something I drew with a ballpoint pen once when I was visiting my aunt and cousin and was bored and doodled this. I like drawing repeated patterns like brick walls or apparently also flowers.

And I have no idea where did I draw this - maybe it was something to do with one course through the employment agency as I tend to doodle when in any kind of class. I feel like I had been watching “Die band, die sie Pferd nannten” prior to this, based on Bela’s looks.

And it was back in 2010, I didn’t have a smart phone yet so no internet to use for reference photos :D

***

So, back to the comics - I only made these 4 back then but before this I did draw other stuff and comics too. I drew several of them as horses when I still didn’t know how to draw humans, and I also have one of them as rats too. The rat one might work as a redrawn human comic, tho... Anyway, at some point I got annoyed because I didn’t like drawing them as horses or rats and wanted to invent a “human style” so then one night, this happened:

The texts are mainly just me chanting how I’m dying from laughter etc. That is actually what I do when I am very insecure of what I do and then I just start openly laughing at everything and myself, that way things don’t feel as bad failures than what they actually are :D (And yeah I know the article is wrong at some point, let’s just say I hadn’t memorized all the article stuff from German yet :D I don’t know if I had even started learning German yet at that point.)

But yeah, then I did find the style and these are the next sketches from my sketchbook:

The bottom left says “facial experessions” - and oh my god I was so damn cringe whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy---

but anyway, those were what I ended up with eventually and the rest is history. I think I’m still gonna make one post with stuff I drew in 2018 and that I haven’t posted here yet as there’s still a few of those, too.

#mcrmadness draws #my dä comics #my fub comics #my old drawings #dä fanart #die ärzte #belafarin

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fanfalc-616 · 4 years ago

Text

Next chapter of Ḩ̵͘å̵̢͎̇͜c̴̼̼̣̉͝ķ̴̱͔̓̂e̵̦̒͛d̴͍̼̈̈!!!

I altered one thing in the preface of the first chapter btw.

Also have some Oppo because it adds tension here and in later chapters...

Zane screams internally as he hears his own voice request that Kai meet him at his location- in a dark and remote area in the seedy part of Ninjago City.

‘Stop. Don’t come. Don’t listen to me!’

But his pleas go unheard.

“Zane? You escaped!” Kai laughs over the comms, clearly relieved. “What happened? How did you-”

“Hurry.” Z̵̦̙͗̾̂ä̷͔͇́n̵̝̭̲͂e̴̢̚ warns. “This is important. And don’t tell the others that you’re coming.”

He can almost see Kai’s frown. “Would you mind being a little less cryptic? Why can’t I tell the others? What-”

“Hurry.” Ź̴̞̫͖̈͆a̶̧̯͙͚̓̊̈n̸͈̓̀͐ȇ̵̡ repeats, more annoyed this time. And then he cuts the connection, and stands in the dark, alone.

‘Don’t come. Kai, you know something is wrong. Tell someone, don’t listen to me!’

A familiar red bike pulls up, and the headlights turn off as the owner gets off of it. However, the look of relief on Kai’s face is short lived.

“Zane?” He questions, a cautious note in his tone. “Is everything okay? Wh- whats going on?”

Z̸̠̞̄ă̷͓͉̊ṇ̵̟͖̝̉͌e̷̘̝͛͝ looks around warily. “Come closer.” He beckons, while Zane struggles against him. No, this can’t happen. He can’t allow Kai to get hurt!

His boyfriend walks over, a look of concern on his face. “Your eyes…” He pauses a beat. “...they’re red.”

Z̷̡̲̎͋̔a̵̼̬̲̽̂͜n̷̺̮̤͎̆̔e̶̖̙̐ tries to reply, but Zane breaks through the hold, hacking into himself, gaining a foothold that lasts just long enough for him to lock gazes with Kai.

“Run.” He forces the word out, but he’s quickly locked out again, just as helpless as before.

Much to his dismay, Kai doesn’t listen.

“Run? Zane, what’s going on?” His boyfriend moves closer, and Zane once again tries to gain control.

Only this time, it doesn’t work.

He curses internally as the familiar cold spreads through him- the cold that accompanies his powers.

‘No, no, no! Kai, get out of here! I don’t want to hurt you!’

Frost has begun to gather on his boyfriend’s gi, and Kai starts a small fire to get rid of it. “Zane, the hell are you-“

Z̸̠̞̄ă̷͓͉̊ṇ̵̟͖̝̉͌e̷̘̝͛͝ grabs his wrist. “Don’t.”

“It’s too cold. It hurts!” Kai protests. He makes the fire larger, and it steams away the ice. Ź̴̞̫͖̈͆a̶̧̯͙͚̓̊̈n̸͈̓̀͐ȇ̵̡ frowns, but before he can speak, Kai is already talking.

“Why are your eyes red? What did you mean when you said ‘run’? Why-“

Z̵̦̙͗̾̂ä̷͔͇́n̵̝̭̲͂e̴̢̚ sighs. “Kai, I am currently unable to explain the circumstances, but I need you to trust me. You do trust me, right?”

Oh, he did not just say that. Even a hacked version of his system wouldn’t do that!

Kai nods slowly, and the fire goes out. “With my life.” He confirms.

‘No! Kai, don’t listen, please, you never do what you're told! Ignore me, get out of here!’

The frost begins to form again, and this time, Kai doesn’t resist. He shivers and shudders as it creeps over his skin, but he lets it continue to spread.

If things continue like this, he’ll get hypothermia! He naturally runs hot from his element, and he’ll likely freeze faster than the average person. And in the unlikely chance he does survive much more of this, he’ll end up with frostbite- and a severe case of it, too.

‘Kai, PLEASE, you need to stop this! Stop me!’

But once again, his words go unheard.

Mustering every ounce of willpower inside of him, Zane tries to break through the wall of code that traps him.

But he can only watch as the frost continues to creep across his skin.

“It- it hurts.” Kai chokes out, trembling heavily.

“It won’t for much longer.” Z̴̥̰͍̍a̸̧̺̮̠̎̍͘͝n̴̖̣͊͆̇̏̚ḙ̸̪̘̬̽̎ assures with a comforting smile.

No! This can’t happen, he refuses to be the cause of his boyfriend’s death!

Forming a new strategy for his hacking, he realizes that in order to win this battle, he needs to be willing to lose a little.

If he twists the code just so, he might be able to create a short gap that will allow him just enough time to help Kai. But doing so would, immediately after, lock him out even more.

Steeling himself, he prepares himself for what he’s about to do.

“Don’t listen- hacked. Run. Stop me.” He begs, using every programming trick he knows to keep himself free enough to speak the words. But just like he was expecting, he’s quickly locked back down- and stronger this time.

That trick won’t work again.

Kai’s eyes go wide, and he lurches back, the ice coating his skin crackling as it breaks from the movement. Fires light in his hands, and Z̷̧̀á̷̱̘n̶͓̼͇̪̲̅e̶͓̍̊̎ takes a step back.

His boyfriend is clearly suffering the effects of the early stages of hypothermia, his skin stained red from the cold- likely a very painful feeling.

“Hacked?” Kai stares. “That- you were hacked?! How is that even possible?!”

Why is he still not running?! He needs to find the others and explain the situation, why is he just standing there?!

Two hatches open up, and Ẓ̷̭͓̜̝̓̽̅a̵̢͔͖͂͛͛̎n̴̙͆̆̒̓̂ḝ̷̬͔̻̇ draws a pair of shurikens. Kai tenses, and his fires burn brighter, the frost beginning to melt away.

“Surrender, and I’ll make it painless.” Z̵̪̒á̶͉̂̈́ṋ̴̂́̕e̴̜̓̿͝ promises.

Kai glares. “Let him go!” He demands.

“Your orders mean nothing to me.” Z̶̢̅́̋ą̷͖̈́n̴͖͊͗͌ḛ̵̻̘̠̎͗ replies. “This body is mine, and I choose what to use it for.”

A sudden thought strikes Zane, and a sinking feeling settles in his gut.

‘You aren’t just a program. You’re alive, like me.’

The code that imprisons him is altered ever so slightly- not weakened, but a sign of acknowledgement.

“Give me my boyfriend back!” Kai insists, fires heating up.

“You won’t hurt me.” Z̵̖̫͈̞̠͆̾̾ḁ̵̙͈̿̓̋͂ṉ̷̲̍e̸͔̥̠̫͆̀̂ walks closer. “I’m in his body. Anything you do will hurt him just as much.”

Kai opens his mouth to respond, but Ẕ̸͍̩̽ả̸̭̲͉n̴̢͙͊̿̆é̸̙̮͎̇̂ throws a shurkien, and he’s forced to dodge in order to avoid getting his head split open.

“Zane, I know you’re still in there. Fight this!”

‘What do you think I’ve been doing?!’

Z̶̫̏͠à̵̧̱̃ͅn̸̬̉̀e̴̟̲̪̍͝ runs at him, and Kai backs off, going on the defensive.

Unfortunately, his boyfriend didn’t bring a sword- which Zane internally yells at him for. Why would he not bring a weapon?!

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Kai uses airjitzu to reach a rooftop, and before Z̸̯͑̑̇a̷̪͌̅͠n̶̳̜̕ḙ̶͛̃͠ can follow, throws a bunch of shingles at him.

“I’ll come back for you!” He promises, voice tight with emotion.

Z̸̗̓̅a̴͎̙̐n̵̝̪͖̊͝͝ė̷̡̺͋́͜ tries to follow, but Zane causes a ruckus inside of his head, doing everything possible to cause chaos and slow him down.

By the time Z̶̲͇͎͑͌͒a̶̱͉̅n̶̠̐͐ͅe̵̮͒̓̕ reaches the rooftop, Kai is long gone.

He can feel the anger coming from Z̵͇͉̦̀ậ̵̜n̶̬̍̓͑e̶̡̯͐̔ , and he internally cringes at its intensity.

“You’ll regret that.” Z̷͔̩̄ă̶̭̝͠n̶͕̍͆é̴̢̨͈̽ threatens. “When they die, I’ll make it hurt.”

#evil laugh #ninjago #ninjago au #zangst #ninjago zangst #hacked #ninjago hacked

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uncloseted · 4 years ago

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How Can I Care Less About My Image Like Effy? Less About Impressing Others And More About Just Doing What I Like Without Letting Them Influence Me?

Anonymous said:

So I have some problems with my confidence. I can be confident at times but it lasts for a very short time and I begin analysing every part of myself and find new insecurities. Sometimes it makes me feel really disgusting so any advice?? Thank you for this blog btw

Anonymous said:

Even though there are people who like me I feel like I'm not a likeable person because I'm insecure and this gets in the way of me socialising, having fun and having good relationships with people. How do I stop feeling this way?

Anonymous said:

last night i had the worst breakdown i’ve had in foreve about how ugly i was, every single detail about myself was so prominent and i’ve fallen so deep down this hole where i couldn’t hate myself more. i’m so unattractive andthat’s the only thing that people give a fuck about , relatives, friends, family, employers, it’s consumed my life. sometimes i’ll look in the mirror and like what i see &for that fleeting moment i’m so fucking happy you can’t imagine but then i go back to seeing the truth

Anonymous said:

I hate myself. How do I mask my insecurities and make people think I'm confident and make it look like don't care about what they think?

Anonymous said:

how can i appear more confident?

Anonymous said:

how do i deal with fear of being judged? I'm always so scared that people I've known for a long time will remember embarrassing things I've done and still laugh at me for it

Anonymous said:

I'm so insecure because I care so much what people think, its so bad that I don't even want to leave my house. When I go out with all my friends, almost all of them get complimented somehow and I never do, it might sound selfish or something but it really brings down my self esteem, I start feeling like I'm invisible or that people only hang out with me because they feel bad for me, and it makes me want to stop being social/getting out of the house, etc.

Anonymous said:

I sometimes hate my face so much and I feel so insecure and it's the worst feeling :( I hope I like the way I look one day but it seems so hard.

Anonymous said:

I can’t be confident with myself, I’m a huge ppl pleaser bc it feels like is the only way to keep them around, and I guess that’s ok but what frustrastes me the most is the fact that ppl don’t see me or my personality, it’s like I’m just there to help them out, to be their side kick... whenever I try to be confident I cringe at myself... How can I feel more secure with myself?

More than any other question, the thing I get asked most is how to build self-confidence, overcome insecurities, and deal with the fear of being judged. In this post, I’m going to put every tip and trick I know about becoming confident, no matter who you are and the situation you’re in.

The first thing to remember about confidence is that people aren’t drawn to people because they’re beautiful, or smart, or kind, or fun, or interesting. People are drawn to people who are confident. If you’re confident and weird, you’re not weird, you’re a visionary. If you’re confident and ugly, you’re not ugly, you’re “unconventionally beautiful” or a trendsetter. If you’re confident and overly serious, you’re not boring, you’re a leader. A lot of people think it’s the other way around- that only beautiful, smart, charming people who are well-liked can be confident- but it’s not true. To use a Skins example, Tony’s not a good person. He’s manipulative and cruel. But people like him (at least in the beginning) and go along with what he says because he’s confident. The same goes for Katie. You can argue about whether she’s objectively the most attractive girl in the group, but she acts confident in herself and in her appearance, and it works. Lots of guys are attracted to her. So that’s the first thing- don’t focus on changing yourself (physically or emotionally) in the hopes that you’ll be more confident. Instead, focus on changing your mindset to that of a confident person. It will make a huge difference.

Of course, that’s all easier said than done, and the process of building self confidence can take a while. In the meantime, while you’re on the journey of actually becoming confident, one thing that can help is “faking it until you make it”. When you’re going about your day, ask yourself, “how would a confident person who’s never experienced insecurity or anxiety handle this situation”? Then do what a confident person would do. If you have a really confident friend, it can help to imagine what they would do in a given situation and then do that. Pretend everyone you meet already loves you and thinks you’re great. Pretend like you think you’re great. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll start getting used to it and the “confident” responses to things will start feeling normal. One thing that can make this a little bit easier is to talk to yourself in the second person. By saying things like “you’ve got this”, your brain will (sort of) feel like you’re receiving advice from somebody else, which is more motivating than getting advice from ourselves.

There are also some exercises you can use to build your self confidence on your own. Some of you have heard this one before, so bare with me, but the first thing I suggest is: every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say some things you like about yourself. I know you probably feel like you can’t find any, but try. Focus on those things that you like and try to only focus on those things. Write them down, either physically (on a sticky note on your mirror, maybe) or in your phone. Each day, try to add a new thing to the list. When you’re out and about, remember those things that you like about yourself, focus on them, and try to draw attention to them. When other people compliment you, add those to your list as well. I think eventually by recognizing all of the things that you like about yourself, you’ll be able to feel like there are things about you that you can be confident in, and you won’t focus so much on the things that you feel are negative. These don’t have to just be things that are physical. You should include things you like about your personality as well.

I mentioned this trick the other day, but I want to put it here as well. A lot of people who are insecure use deprecating humor to cope and as a bid to get other people to like them. But I think that can be really emotionally damaging. Like Hannah Gadsby said in Nanette, “I have built a career out of self-deprecating humor, and I don’t want to do that anymore..do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility. It’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak, and I simply will not do that anymore, not to myself or anybody who identifies with me.” Self-deprecation impacts our self-esteem, and it impacts the way people around us view us. The more times we say something, even as a joke, the more we start to believe it, and the more the people around us start to believe it. So instead, make fun of yourself by pretending you’re really, really cocky. If you trip and fall, instead of saying, “I’m such a disaster”, replace it with “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”. If you make a piece of art and you think it sucks, say, “Obviously I’m the next Di Vinci/Michelangelo/whatever.” If you say something dumb, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid,” say, “I’m clearly the next Einstein.” You still get to make a joke and diffuse any awkwardness the situation has, but you also get practice saying nice things about yourself. And eventually, you’ll get so used to saying nice things about yourself as a joke that it won’t feel so weird to say those things about yourself in a serious way, too.

For those people who feel insecure about things they did in their past, try and think of something embarrassing one of your friends has done. Can you think of anything? The vast majority of people remember their own embarrassing moments really vividly, but don’t remember things other people have done at all. Reminding yourself that you’re probably the only one who remembers or cares about the mistake you made can help you let go. The mistakes you’ve made in the past are learning experiences that you’ve grown from and changed from, and the fact that you’re embarrassed by them is a good thing. It means that you’re not that person anymore- that you’ve become someone better. I think that’s something to celebrate instead of something to cringe at. It can also help to talk to yourself as if you were a friend who’s remembering an embarrassing moment. Would you tell them how embarrassing that moment was and how much they suck? Probably not. You’d be nice to them and tell them things will be okay. Talk to yourself like you would a friend.

The fact that people aren’t paying attention to what you’re doing doesn’t just apply to cringey things you did in your past. People are unlikely to remember that one time you tried a new hairstyle or wore an unusual piece of clothing. They’re unlikely to remember that one time you asked someone out and they rejected you. So many of the social pressures we feel can be remedied by remembering that most people are way too worried about what they’re doing and how they appear to the world to care about what you’re doing.

One more piece of advice- stop comparing yourself to other people. The old adage, “comparison is the thief of joy” is totally, scientifically proven to be true. Comparing ourselves to other people (or to TV shows, movies, characters in books, etc) makes us much less happy because we’re comparing everything we know about ourselves, good and bad, with a curated version of this person. We don’t see them when they wake up in the morning with crusty eyes and frizzy hair, or when they have the flu, or when they’re overwhelmed and anxious and lashing out at the people around them. But the truth is that everyone, even the people you think have perfect lives that you see on social media, are just people. They have bad habits and negative traits and days where they’re not at their best, just like the rest of us. If you really want to start being confident, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to mute or unfollow the people who make you feel insecure online, and replace them with people who inspire you- artists or activists or cute videos of animals, whatever works. You’ll never be able to feel good about yourself if you’re constantly tracking all the ways in which you feel you don’t measure up. But you will if you’re constantly seeing all the ways in which you do.

Last thing. Basic life care stuff, like good posture, exercising, eating well, sleeping well, meditating, and just generally practicing self-care and taking care of yourself can improve your confidence as well. If you’re not starting on a strong foundation, it’s hard to build anything that will last. But if your foundation is solid, all of the things you do to build your self-confidence on top of that will be, too.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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captain-jinguji · 5 years ago

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Hiya! Big Thx for answering to my last request. I was really curious what would be Starish and QN's reaction if their s/o was an artist and asked to paint them naked and the reaction after they see the painting. Thank you a lot. (btw, im sorry u got sunburned, hope u r better :)) )

Its people like you that keep me going by being nice 😭 so thanks BB I'm fine. It hurt the first couple days but my skin's calming down a lot. And I'm always happy to answer :3 hope this is okay!

Warning: slight NSFW. Nothing graphic but if you're sensitive to that, don't read.

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT reacting to being painted naked by their s/o

Natsuki:

When you first brought it up, he honestly felt kind of self conscious? He's a big guy so the painting would take a while and it made him blush to think about being naked in front of you for that long, even if you've seen him naked before. However, halfway through the session he calms down and starts to relax, joking, and even commenting on how you should paint both of you together sometime, which will just get him scolded because he's supposed to be still! Once the painting is finished and he sees it, all he can do was stare in awe. You captured everything so perfectly!!! Honestly just amazed at how you can get the painting to look so real and won't stop complimenting for days.

Tokiya:

Not shy per se, but uncomfortable at first. Sure you guys have seen each other naked, plenty of times! But this is like… you staring at him for hours on end and he can't even (make a) move. If you pester him enough though, he'll agree with a sigh and oblige. Don't ask him to smile though because his face doesn't work like that. But that's okay ??? Because the serious look he has on in the painting, with his hand just barely hovering over his package has him staring at himself for hours after the painting is done. Honestly finds himself so hot in the painting and might ask you to make another one.

Cecil:

Draw me like one of your french girls #1. Agrees immediately. Anything for his princess! Strips in such a way that you almost don't want to just paint him anymore. The whole process takes an entire day though because he just. Wont. Shut. Up. You have to remind him that paintings are quiet and dont speak, but that doesnt stop him. Reminds you that he's very tan and the tattoo on his chest has to be just right since its a special symbol from his country. Honestly annoys you half the time, but the painting turns out so good. You even put some fruit and velvet accessories around him to try and emphasize on him and his heritage and God those grapes barely covering his cock really bring it out… 10/10 approves.

Ren:

Draw me like one of your french girls #2. Already stripping before you finish your sentence, but also orders you to strip and paint naked because "I can't be the only one being stared at when i have such a goddess in front of me." You reluctantly agree, though his stare makes you almost mess up a couple times and oh my god the comments he dashes out and the things he says he will do to you after ward have you squirming in place. Ren might be a model with the body of a God but he's playing dirty. But the finished painting? Beautiful. And he says that too. Also says that now whenever he's gone, you'll have something to pleasure yourself to ;)

Otoya:

Blushes and almost passes out. Studders out an answer about how embarrassing that is and why would you want that and omg he's hyperventilating. You have to calmly reassure him that it's just a painting and it won't hurt him. No one else will see it because it will be in you guys' bedroom, or bathroom if he finds that safer. Gives in at some point because he doesn't want to disappoint you and lays down on the couch, completely red. You almost couldnt differentiate between his face and his hair and at some point his thoughts began to wander and uh oh now he's hard. But that's okay because it makes for that much more of a good painting. When he sees it, he's still embarrassed but also amazed by your artistic ability. Still makes you promise that it will go somewhere where no one sees it.

Syo:

Literally shrieks when you bring it up to him. You want what? Why? How? Are you gonna sell it? Has so many questions. You have to reassure him, much like Otoya, that no one else sees it and he'll agree to it. Is also blushing during the session but his is more like a soft pink hue and he tries so hard to keep his thoughts under control. Asks for at least some props to take some of the attention away from him and so you tell him to take out his violin. Have you ever seen a naked man with his violin? No? Have you ever seen a wet artist? Now you have. Both of you were so amazed with the outcome that it was almost cringe. Asks to have it in the bedroom so he can admire himself and also your skills.

Masato:

LMAO have fun convincing him. Least likely of all to be comfortable with this and it will take forever for him to get there. However, if you tell him he can wear his Yukata to cover up some of his skin, like it being draped around his shoulders or hanging over one of his legs, he might be more willing. He just doesnt like to see all of himself naked so at least respect that aspect. Also demands you make him melon bread after this. Is also a blushing mess during the session, worse than otoya even and you have to remind him to breathe every once in a while because youre genuinely scared he might pass out. Once the painting is done, though, he will actually be shook. He looks so good? And might he even say, sexy? Is this really him? Plz give this boy some love ;-;

Reiji:

Draw me like one of your french girls #3. Much like Ren, he's also stripping and trying out different poses. Want his butt in the air? His dick hard and erect? A hand sliding down his happy trail? Honestly tries to make this more of a porno than it has to be. Also demands some sexy time for his "hard work of sitting there doing nothing when you can stare at his naked glory for as long as you want" poor Reiji pulls the pouty lip and all and its honestly cute so you agree. You have him lay on the couch, hands crossed behind his head and his legs spread open, one popped up on the couch and the other steady on the floor. The finished result? Puts Michaelangelo to shame. At least according to reiji. Kisses your neck as he admires your art and kindly reminds you that even though he's the painting, you still have to pay your debt.

Ranmaru:

Draw me like one of your french girls #4. Honestly so not opposed to the idea at all. Has so much confidence going into this and is hella smug about it. However, once he actually has been against the red velvet pillows with a leather gloved finger between his teeth for twenty minutes or so, he starts to blush. Didnt realize you had to stare at him for this long and though he's comfortable being naked in front of you, he still feels a little too watched under your gaze. On the other hand, you were patting your own shoulder because oh my lord your man is hot. Leather is his thing. You can feel yourself being turned on by your own idea and when you see your finished painting you stare at it in awe for so long that Ranmaru becomes worried. Asks if its wrong, if it was the wrong angle, etc… but when he sees it for himself, he gets that smug grin back on his face. "Damn babe. I look hot."

Camus:

Knows you can paint well. Has all the confidence in the world. Totally down to do this. But "Don't waste his time" and "I'm expecting you to capture all of me in all my glory" has you kind of scared to mess up. Camus is beautiful and he knows it. Wont settle for less. You have him sprawled out on his silk bed, a hand resting against the side of his head and a book as a prop, gently laid against the upper side of his chest. You call it "sophisticated grace". But oh dear Camus knows exactly what he's doing and he's purposefully giving you the bedroom eyes during the whole session, his crystal blues covered by a dark lust. You take in a deep breath a couple of times and wonder if you can actually last through this without jumping on him, but you do and once you're done, Camus comes up behind you and analyzes the painting like it's the most important thing on this planet. He doesn't say anything though and it has you worried that he doesnt like it and saw too many flaws but the next thing you feel is his hot breath against your neck and his low voice whispering in your ear, "I believe you deserve payment for this."

Ai:

Confused? Why would you want to paint him? Humans are weird. He's so cute and innocent and it almost makes you giggle. He agrees to it though because he's interested in how you'd capture him and so he poses for you in one of the white, deep seated chairs that's in the corner of your living room. His skin is flawless and the early morning sun is at just the right angle, coming through the window that it makes his whole being glow up golden. It's better than the sistine Chapel. It's divine and you blush at the thought of this being your man. So catches that of course, and smiles to himself. He feels a sense of pride that you chose him for such an...intimate painting and he's sure to properly thank you later. The finished product has him in awe. He looks so good? Like an angel. And he thanks you with a deep kiss for making him look like that.

#uta no prince sama #uta no prince shining live #utapri starish stillnotsorry #best anime #quartet night #starish #utanoprincesama #utapri headcanons #natsuki shinomiya #ichinose tokiya #cecil aijima #ren jinguji #otoya ittoki #kurusu syo #hijirikawa masato #reiji kotobuki #ranmaru kurosaki #camus #ai mikaze

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navii-blaze · 6 years ago

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The Desert's Torture

This is not connected to any of my other stuff besides the fact that it is a Linked Universe AU fanfic. All rights and credit goes to the creator and Nintendo. Hope ya'll like it. Btw, I realized that since it is hard to tell which hero is which I made a cheat chart to reference. As you may tell, I took some inspiration from some of the other fanfic authors for this AU.

Hero of Warriors- War, Captain

Hero of the Sky- Sky, Hylia’s hero

Hero of Legend- Veteran, hero of the golden goddesses, hero of oracles

Hero of Hyrule- Ace, traveler

Hero of Time- Time, pops, old man

Hero of the Wild- Wild, cook, amnesic

Hero of the Four Sword/Minish- Four

Hero of Twilight- pup

The hot sun blared on the heros' backs as they trudged through the wasteland of the Gerudo. They left at dawn, hoping to get to the city before the heat set in heavily, but they misjudged the nature of the foreign desert. Each one of them had shed off their armor and heavy layers, even the most prideful hero took off his prized scarf. The heat sapped their energy, making each sand dune seem like a mountain to walk over.

"You know, I've been in some pretty rough environments, heck I've been inside Death Mountain of all places. But nothing like this." The hero of twilight groaned as the sand rubbed between his feet and sandals. The desert back in his time had certainly never been this hot, so hot that he had forced himself to wear his standard Ordonian garbs, minus the shirt part. It would be a lie if he said that he was comfortable with showing off so much skin. The only times when he exposes himself like now was when he participated in wrestling matches. When he changed into his home garbs he couldn't help but notice a couple envious glances towards him, particularly from Ace and Veteran. But he supposed that he couldn't dismiss their jealousy if he couldn't dismiss his own.

His eyes drifted over to to the youngest of the group, who was for some bizarre reason, full of energy and hadn't broken a sweat yet. Yet as he envied his ability to keep moving, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the hero of the Four Sword. With every question about the kingdom of Hyrule Wind asked him, it seemed like the smaller hero had a harder time walking. Suddenly Ace's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey look! An oasis!" What was once an exhausted and sweaty caravan of swordsmen turned into an alert and energetic group of young males half running, half still sluggishly walking towards the palm trees on the horizon. Nearly thirty minutes passed before they finally reached the new found paradise. It was abandoned, only a few boxes and barrels showed evidence of any past activity. After scouting the area, the heroes set down their bags and weapons, with any sense of caution quickly disappearing. Taking the absence of other people as a blessing, they quickly stripped down to their under garments and dove into the cool spring for relief. Groans and sighs of relief filled the still air, occasionally interrupted by a playful splash or two.

The hero of twilight nearly submerged himself all the way into the water, desperate to get the desert heat off of him. He shot a glance at his descendant who was listening to the most prideful hero talk of his conquests and battles. Knowing that the captain’s rants tended to go on for a while, he decided against joining the conversation and moved next to his mentor, who draped his arm over Twilight’s shoulders.

“How long do you think we’ll stay here pops?” the hero of twilight felt exposed in such an open area, but the coolness of the spring kept him confined to the paradise in the vast desert.

The elder shifted into a more comfortable position, “Beats me pup, I think we’ll settle for the night, it’s already past midday, and there’s no telling when our next stop will be.” the heroes spent the next hour basking in the coolness of the spring, no monsters in sight except for a lizalfos camping out a couple hundred yards away.

They set up camp rather quickly, Time’s and Wild’s warnings of the night chill going through the heads of the heroes that were inexperienced with the extremes of the wasteland. By the time the sun dipped on the horizon, the oasis was decked out by multiple sleeping cots surrounding a fire made from the wood of a palm tree Wild cut down, and a spark of ever-burning fire magic from a spell Hyrule cast.

For the rest of the evening and a hour into nightfall, the heroes talked among themselves, mostly concerning how much desert was left to travel. The hero of Twilight and the youngest of them all stood on opposite sides of the camp keeping watch. Twilight’s eyes scanned over the endless dunes of sand, the cold breeze blowing bits of sand on his face. When suddenly movement caught his eye from far off. He walked over to where the abandoned crates where and climbed on top of one. The hero took out his hawkeye mask and equipped it, adjusting the lenses until he saw what he had been looking for. It was the lizalfos from earlier, they had paid no mind to them then, except for keeping an extra eye out for any change in the reptiles’ behaviors. But now he saw them changing into armor and gathering weapons, moving fast and with intention. When he shifted his gaze over a couple meters he realized what those intentions were. Two lizalfos were approaching the oasis, fast and stealthy with their weapons out.

He took the mask off, cursing at himself for not noticing them sooner, Twilight grabbed the nearest sword and shield and started banging the sword against the metal. Upon hearing the alarm for intruders, the heroes snapped awake, grabbing their swords and equipment. Wind ran over to the hero of twilight, his eyes frantically scanning the area.

“What’s happening? Are we under attack?” The older hero nodded and pointed towards the direction of the incoming monsters.

“The lizalfos camp from earlier is preparing for battle, they have sent two scouts this way for whatever reason. Tell the others the situation and have three archers be ready to draw their bows.” Wind nodded and sprinted back to the other and explained to a very confused hero of time what was going on. Meanwhile Twilight took out his bow and crouched behind the crates, he looked over his shoulder and saw that Time had picked Wild, Sky, and Wind to take up their bows and find a secluded spot. The others were sorted out hastily into either a defense or offense position.

An enemy horn made Twilight turn back to where the lizalfos were supposed to appear. The two spotted from earlier had disappeared behind the dunes, causing the twilight hero is worry. His worries were soon lessened when his mentor rushed to his side, crouched down with his hand ready to pull out his unbreakable clay-more.

“I saw the lizalfos just before they disappeared, keep your bow ready pup.” Twilight nodded, and risked yet another glance at his comrades. To his right stood the most polished of the group, sword out while Ace hid behind a palm tree with an arrow nocked. Next to the fire stood the hero of the Four Sword alongside with the hero of oracles, both armed with spears. The youngest hero covered his left, Sky ready at the bow not too far away. Realizing something was missing, Twilight frantically scanned the area, almost dropping his guard. A movement from the top of one of the trees drew his attention, and eased his growing panic. His protege was perched on the top of a tree, how the amnesic managed to climb so fast was unknown to him but that wasn’t of importance right now. Each one of their gazes focused on where the enemy was said to be approaching.

“One spotted at two o’ clock,” Twilight snapped back to position from Time’s warning and nocked his bow to his right, still hidden by the crates. The desert wind blew softly across his face, causing a shiver to run down his spine. But the wind carried another sensation, a stench of a reptilian odor, coming from his left rather than his right. It was nearly too late when he recognized the trap, springing out of his position Twilight fired an arrow next to an unsuspecting hero of Hylia, finding its mark in the neck of a lizolfos.

Stumbling away from the monster’s corpse, Sky had a mortified look as he contemplated what would have happened if Twilight hadn’t seen the reptilian beast at the last second. Snapping out of his shock, the first hero readied his bow again and now with a fierce look in his eyes, scan for any signs of movement. As the first wave appeared itself, he started to let loose on the incoming lizalfos.

Twilight was starting to feel overwhelmed by the sudden appearance of monsters, the fact that he was about to run out of arrows didn’t help. A lizalfos decked out in more armor than the rest jumped out from behind a dune and charged full speed at the camp. Reaching for his quiver, panic briefly overtook Twilight when he didn’t feel any more arrows. Cursing beneath his breath, he threw down his bow and unsheathed the sword Rusl had given to him after his quest to save Hyrule. The hero of twilight leaped over the crates with his sword and shield and was almost brought to his knees by the sheer amount of force the lizalfos brought down on him with its mace.

He started to feel the effects of his arm and shield taking the burden of the monster’s weight, his muscles straining and cramping from the pressure. The weight was suddenly lifted as Time brought his sword down on the beast’s head, Twilight cringed as the sound of a splitting skull echoed through his ears.

The two warriors stood back from the monster, breathless as they looked around at their comrades. Everyone seemed to be holding their positions alright, Ace had been forced to abandon his bow like Twilight did and now stood side-by-side with Captain. The hero of oracles had a limp in his leg, and had to fall back a little and use his bow.

It seemed like only a couple of minutes before all of the lizalfos in the area were finished off by either arrow or blade. Once Wild gave the sign that the cost was clear from the top of a tree, they huddled near the fire. As soon as injuries were wrapped and potions handed out, their leader quickly laid out a hastily made map of the oasis.

“Alright soldiers listen up,” Time’s voice quickly caught the attention of the heroes, even Wild’s attention as he inspected Legend’s bruised leg. “Like nearly every battle before where we have fought together, the next part of this battle needs to be won with precision and caution. We don’t need to risk anymore injuries tonight.” his hand absently gestured to Legend, whose face was hidden by his large auburn bangs. Time’s voice distracted Wild, causing the veteran hero to grimace as Wild accidentally tightened his bandages too much.

While the two silently bickered over Legend’s leg, Twilight paid note to his mentor as he created a battle strategy on the hand-made map. Or, at least tried to pay attention. He had been up for quite a while now, back when he was standing watch, he only had fifteen minutes left of patrolling before he could wake someone else up to take his place. It didn’t help when the breeze stopped blowing, making the atmosphere cool and comfortable when he stood next to the fire.

Holding a yawn back, Twilight just barely made out Time’s instructions before they dispersed into new positions. Twilight made his way over to Time, a question on his mind that he had been meaning to ask. But just as he approached his mentor, a high pitched whistle from Wild sounded for the second incoming wave. Looks like his question would have to wait.

I kid you not at multiple times while writing this I wrote the same fricken sentence over and over again and it took me like 10 minutes just to proof read it all so that there wouldn’t be an extra sentence in there. Anyways, school sucks, takes up too much of my time, now I’m debating if I actually want that botany degree or if I can start practicing on a guitar in hopes of becoming a street musician with a day job at Taco Bell. Life be like that sometimes... Well, hope you guys liked it, please leave some form of feedback, comments on how I can improve is extremely appreciated. Thx for reading, peace out.

#linked universe #loz #legend of zelda #link #links #gerudo desert #fanfic #writing action feels like everything goes too fast #this is good #twilight #twilight princess #linkeduniverse #gerudo

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 6 years ago

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Montenegro to Eurovision with 6 young souls

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(this is a pre-vamp review so take this whole thing as “something I wanted to publish but my schedule was withholding until it was specifically time for them to be reviewed”, therefore, this is a bit of a retrospective review. Will tackle on its revamp later!)

Montevizija, which finally has an official Twitter account (we all should forget the times some dude named Vasilije pretended to having made one), offered us another batch of 5 songs for another year, actually revealing all of them beforehand this time and not just the snippets! Joy to the world I guess.

You gotta love Montevizija for it being the most underrated ex-Yugoslavian national final btw. Granted, it only lasted for 2 editions as of now, and it will take years to grow bigger as a thing, but so far, for us the NFs that are ingrained to our brains more are Dora, EMA and Beovizija (and even Skopje Fest when THAT was used to pick an act and not just served as a festival like it originally was meant to be), therefore Montevizija seems more shunned. But what do you expect when the lineup of 5 for two years in a row is not exactly as stellar as hoped for? Well, there are gems here and there, but they haven’t really won on either years (or at least not on the 2nd year if you call Vanja’s song a gem too), and yet somehow they find someone who call them great. But for me this Montenegrin entry is not. :L

And who is up there to be colossally blamed for its existence? None other than this group of 6 refering to themselves as D mol (with “mol” decapitalized for whatever reason... they used to have hyphen separating the ‘D’ and ‘mol’, but now they scrapped it altogether, an anime death I’ll never forget). Worth noting that I, as a 19 year old, have this particularly ugly feeling I must get rid of, and that’s the one of “feeling old”, already at my age. And this is how I felt seeing that the band whose song I am not fond of today is made up by members that are of 16-17 to 21-ish years old!!! So my heart insists that I shouldn’t go too hard on these poor younglings, even if this is just me, currently tackling the brethren of my age. Prepare as I’ll go to shred their composition they’re going to Tel Aviv with, “Heaven”, to bits.

Although, what I call “shredding to bits” is merely just nitpicking the reasons the original version (keep bearing in mind that I haven’t heard the revamp yet) sucks imo, and idk, the new “Heaven” miiiiiiight just grow on me, but I heavily doubt about it because I never cared for it in the first place (youhouuu, they were my last in Montevizija ‘19 for a reason), and I’m rather looking forward for the new faves from the 8 songs I haven’t listened to yet rather than those that were already chosen. And even the Eurofans were not quite fond on the revamp, as some think the additional ethno sounds made it sound worse (and of course there are some that kinda like it or think of the song as their guilty pleasure). So why shouldn’t I? :O

Anyway, old “Heaven”. The first sounds on here to grace my ears on this song consist of one light piano note being tapped to an exact rhythm and a confused baby girl stuttering. And I’d’ve maybe enjoyed this more ironically at some point if it weren’t for the latter sound effect being re(ab)used later in the song!! Ugh I hate it. The lyrics are fine I guess... though isn’t it ironic the only English song in Montevizija’s lineup this year won?? It’s like the Montenegrin people were openly cringing when being the only ones to understand Vanja comparing his life to cat’s and mouse’s and calling his heart “the most expensive toy” in his song and then they were like “you know what? Let’s let the WHOLE Europe understand how terrible our lyrics are! ^_^” (no but for real, who still uses “I’m in heaven, falling straight into your heart” as a pick-up line? Did they travel through time from 1998 to 2019 or something???)

Speaking of the 90s, the whole song smells like a dated cliché of that period. You know, the kind of “the high school prom song from that 90s teen sitcom’s who you’re forced to watch when your elderly aunt is in the house with you and there’s nothing else on TV” dated. Dated even more than “Chain of Lights”. Seriously though! It includes the pathetic “wah wah” bassline, mid-tempo beats, the boy/girl-group harmonies... catch me puking sugar-coated cheese to this, no thanks. Oh and if you already read my “Zero Gravity” review (which you probably never even bothered to after seeing how much text would you have to read), I definitely mentioned that I’m not a fan of those “two verses-two choruses” songs, and especially those kind of ones that aren’t sounding like something suited for radio (e.g.: Poland 2018, “Light Me Up”)... this obviously sounds like something from the radio of the times the at-the-time senior highschoolers are currently over 30 or slightly over 40, and that should be 4 and a half minutes long. These verses could just not be more ridiculously dragged out for the choruses to prevail and get stuck in our brains... fucking welp [sic] me already.

Well, if there are any brownie points I could give this, it’s pleasant, it’s harmless if I don’t take into account the cheese vibes this emits, and all this bunch are made up by up-and-coming talented singers that clearly deserved a better song...

And the staging concept in their NF was cool tho (illustrating their power of D mol), and I applaud the couple chemistry I guess

Oh and this below is one of the most underappreciated memes this Euroseason:

*stares into your soul in Montenegrin*

So yeah. Oh and the Rizo(tto) guy who is self-aware of his hotness and the hotness of the much older Eurovision guys this year, but he’s not doing it for me so that I could be in heaven falling, so he’s getting a hard pass.

All in all - a nostalgia cash-in made to appease the housewives from Podgorica to Skopje, from Novi Sad to Štúrovo, and nothing quite else, sung by a cool bunch of people that if anything are deemed this year’s "great people with an unfortunately too dated song and a shitty draw” by me. I don’t know much of their personalities but I do believe that even if they like what they’re singing, they’d be much better off doing a better sounding throwback, at least. So that even the disappointed-by-”Heaven” Eurofans could at least call it “so dated but a BOP!”. And hey, I’m aware of those fans that will likely be pissed at me for not bopping along to this, but I said what I said about it and yet again, if revamp changes my mind, I will change my opinion, but right now I’d not prefer to. Grumpy Adio.

Approval factor: Hell with the no. I would like Vanja back instead. At least he made himself a somebody to be cared about even if the Eurofans didn’t quite adapt to his song in return.

Follow-up factor: somehow, both “Inje” and “Heaven” were/are seen by the masses as instant NQs, so it somehow doesn’t sound like Montenegro is following a great path so far. And after this year anything that audience favours and wins can be seen as a way better follow up after something meh coming after something wrose.

Qualification factor: For the n-th time, I’m yet to check the revamp out to state where this will actually go, but being put 2nd in the draw is a massive stab in the knee, as demonstrated by even the national finals this year (Electric Fields in Australia Decides, Aly Ryan in Unser Lied für Israel, Lisa Ajax in Melodifestivalen final... the only glaring exception is ZENA in Eurofest but is it me or these producers did this just so they could be all like “heeeey we put a winning song on 2nd just to show that a NF song can win from ANY draw! ANY DRAW!!!” lol nope), and from it only a few lucky souls have crawled out victorious (Nathan Trent for example, the draw might have pushed him down in the semi but he got up again!). D mol, for as young and developing in talent as they are, don’t seem to be such. You can be young and pitied for your personality, but you always can at the same time have a song that completely crushes your chances to do well and sweeps up the last shards of hope right in front of your eyes despite being an angel worthy of protection (Ari Ólafsson, anyone?). Unless the D molians work all their magic and the random ethnic vibes into their favour for some reason, but for now it ain’t gonna work.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

And even then, what was so interesting about Montevizija 2019?? Let’s see...

• First off, let’s address one meme of the beginning of 2019 that Facebook may or may have not used purposefully to upgrade their automatic “facial recognition” skills - the 10 years challenge. Our first one of this season is the sassy maneater who spent her ESC stint by trying to unlove a guy so hard that he just couldn’t oblige - Andrea Demirović. Her decade-later A-game happened to be this one song she sang in her mother-tongue: “Ja sam ti san” (I am your dream). Now, I wasn’t particularly into it - I enjoy some electro tracks out there (like hello, “Igranka” is one of my favourite Montenegrin entries, and 2013 entries overall as well) but this one just ended up being the right amount of cool AND overbearingly unsettling for me to not really fancy it. Kinda like “Red” by HyunA - I can only bop to this if I don’t care about the fact I actually hate it, oops. (Or maybe it is just because Andrea once again used a composition done by one of those “rent-a-NF-songwriter” people. Which is at least better than collabing Ralph Siegel who’s stopped being relevant ever since starting to work with San Marino, or even since the hilarious attempt of a peace song sung by the original common framework, six4One. But since Michael James Down has co-contributed to one of the better Montevizija songs last year, I will not allow myself to think it’s thanks to those kind of songwriters.) Nevertheless, the Eurofans actualy kind of loved this song, but sadly, Montenegrins and the international jury did quite not, and she didn’t land on to the superfinal 2 (as opposed to a superfinal 3 last year, to which she could have easily qualified if it still were a 3). Here’s her song to y’all anyways (and the performance too, which just needed to include some random monster dudes dancing around... why? Because Eurovision! ^^):

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• Speaking of Andrea, during the results part there was this one shot of hers where she was pictured just casually chilling on her phone, not giving a damn that she’s being underrated on the scoreboard. Not only she was badly rated, but this moment was such an universal #mood!

• In between the finally final results announcement (which I didn’t really know when exactly was it taking place because the winner wasn’t really said out loud before the event I will describe next was taking place??) there was this lottery going on of who would be the lucky two audience observers that’d win tickets to Tel Aviv... hilariously enough though, it somehow malfunctioned and there were some sort of errors regarding the announcement of the RIGHT winner <3 but the winners happened and I hope they’re getting to go to Tel Aviv at some point during the Eurovision events! Hope they don’t feel startled by the lack of taken seats this year.

• Unlike Eesti Laul, Montevizija this year took up the job of showcasing tweets of Eurofans, and somehow this fellow fella ended up seen by a handful of Montenegrins AND international viewers. Take a wild guess which of them know what a daddy Serhat is.

• And who could not forget the magic flying envelope for to announce the winner of the NF:

there must have been some Harry Potter magic in there :O

As for what touches the other songs, well there’s the last year’s fan fave Nina Petković with another song, but it’s no “Dišem”, so don’t even bother. Or bother, but imo it’s just okay-sounding, nothing that groundbreaking or pleasant enough to be competitive. The other few songs were also nice but I’d like not to make this longer as my other write-ups, to be fair. Sucked to be Mr. Kállay-Saunders who, as the international juror chosen for this national final, had to rank its songs... as that NF happened right on the same day his second A Dal 2019 performance was taking off. Not that the international jurors were supposed to be present in Montenegro on the day of this NF, anyways...

Anyway, despite all this goddamn criticism (that could’ve flown more smooth had my computer not restarted in the middle of me doing paragraphs for this review), I’m fare welling the D mol-ians and would like to wish them a heavenly Eurovision experience. ^_^

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #montenegro 2019 #d mol #heaven #montenegro

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jenroseyokel · 6 years ago

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Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read.

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;)

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

#art #books #reading #awesome of the year #readers of tumblr #reading list #favorite books #best of 2018 #readers are leaders yo

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fmdxjerome · 7 years ago

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hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo.

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best” years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff 👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow.

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

#Writer Speaks.#ooc. { i dont want to reset the clock again it says 6am in this post its almost 7am i've been here since 4 i'm slower than usual wow }#{ almost 7 its 7.30 i got to stop ok }#{v sleepy now so!! goodnight talk to everyone in a few hours}

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btsbrainfood · 7 years ago

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Muse

Characters: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff <3

Word Count: 1588

Anon Requested: "Omg I just found ur blog today and I've already read each and everyone one of ur fics!! when I saw ur request box open I've never clicked so fast~ I was wondering if I can request a yoongi highschool au where he's a badboy and he's only soft to y/n who's a shy artist that loves to sit down anywhere and watch people and draw them, pls make it very fluffy if u do end up writing this! I love your writings sm btw~"

(A/N: to all that is holy I have retyped my author's note like 3 times bc tumblr has decided to curse me and everything I try to post keeps getting deleted from my blog :') But if you are reading this now then I have managed to succeed,, Anyway thank you so much for the request lovely~ I hope it is what you were expecting and please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts!! I will most likely be writing a part two to this because it feels somewhat inconclusive,, Happy reading <3)

“Alright class, let’s get started!” Your math teacher clapped her hands to get the class’ attention. You glanced up from your desk in the back row of the classroom for a few seconds before your eyes found their way back to the small black sketchbook lying open in front of you. All of the pages before this one were a bit tattered, the black cover beaten up and peeling. Anyone who looked at it could tell it was put to good use. The pages were filled with sketches and drawings of people, often times your classmates in their natural environment. Right now you were subtly gazing at a girl with short brown hair, raising her hand to answer the teacher’s question. You concentrated as you attempted to replicate the way her hair slightly brushed against the tops of her shoulders, the tip of your pencil articulately marking up the page.

Your teacher was deep in the middle of a lecture, explaining a key concept in math that most of the students were having a hard time grasping. But you had always had trouble paying attention to the things taught directly to you in school, often opting to study the material the day before a test and end up passing anyway. She held up a 3D model of a cube, gesturing to the sides while trying to explain a foreign concept. Glancing back up to your current drawing model, you saw she was hurriedly taking notes in a small notebook.

The seat you occupied in your class couldn’t be more perfect. You were the only student who sat in the back row of desks, all the others to the sides of you empty. And you weren’t completely in the corner, either. Rather, you were one over from the far right. It gave you the best view to see practically anything in the room. You relied on your journal and pencil to keep relaxed, and because of this you were fine without many friends.

Abruptly, the door to the classroom swung open, footsteps sounding on the hard surface of the floor as the room suddenly filled with silence. Pencil lifting from your paper, you lifted your head slowly to see what had caused the disturbance. Your gaze was met with dark beaten up sneakers lazily strolling across the floor. Eyes travelling upwards, you watched rips in jeans loosely chafe against milky pale skin, thumbs hooked into his belt loops without a care in the world. A dark jacket hung loose on his shoulders, and he glanced at the other students’ gawking faces in disinterest. For a brief second his eyes landed on yours, but it was over as fast as it happened.

“Min Yoongi,” The teacher said in distaste. She was still comically holding up the 3D model, as if she had just been caught stealing. Yoongi blinked in her direction, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, and muttered, “You’re late. Again. Please have a seat.”

As soon as Yoongi turned, she began her lecture again. Some of the students in front turned their attention back to her, while most kept a trained eye on where Yoongi was walking. Your hand remained still against the paper, watching in interest as you predicted his path. Satisfaction coursed through you when he carelessly plopped down his schoolbag and slouched onto the seat right beside the window.

The students sitting in the surrounding desk bristled slightly, doing their best to train their attention back to the front. You bit your lip slightly, the artist inside you marvelling at the scene unfolding in front of you. The sunlight streaming through the window cast perfect shadows across the side of Yoongi’s face, his bright aqua colored hair shining vividly in the streaming light. Your careful gaze locked on his hand as he picked up his pen and started twirling it around his fingers mindlessly.

He was gazing out the window, eyes blank. Every once in awhile he would blink lazily, and it was obvious that his calm demeanor somehow intimidated those around him. Upon being greeted with the sight, you instinctively flipped the page of your sketchbook, the girl you had been drawing earlier forgotten. You studied the size of Yoongi’s face as your hand swiftly made magic on the thick paper. He continued watching the things outside, oblivious to you in the back of the class.

Before you realized it, the bell blared through the room, signalling class was over. The students around you hustled to stuff their school materials into their bags, and your teacher tried desperately to remind them of their homework over all of the noise. You quickly snapped your sketchbook closed and held it tight to your chest, rising from your seat. You knew it probably wouldn’t be long until you needed them again, so you carelessly slipped your drawing pencils into the top of your bag and threw its long strap over your shoulder.

Once the first few students started leaving the classroom, the teacher quickly turned a sharp stare at Yoongi, who remained unmoving in his window seat. “Yoongi, come talk to me before you leave.” She said sternly. Knowing she would no doubt tell him off, you looked down at your feet and fidgeted with your fingers, waiting for the doorway to clear up. You eventually stepped out of the classroom, but now you were faced with a massive sea of students flooding the hallway. You let out a sigh, knowing you had to try to fight the crowd to find your next class.

With a quick inhale, you turned and started walking against the side of the hallway. Your peers had always been so loud. Girls laughed and playfully shoved each other, others goofing around down the hallway. You were nearing a few benches, thankful for opportunity to sit and rest. Almost reaching the bench, someone suddenly shoved your shoulder. Your feet stumbled to the side and pain shot through you as your shoulder blade made rough contact with the wall. You heard your sketchbook fall open in the ground with a light thump, along with quite a few of the pencils that were sitting in the top of your bag. Now they were splayed across the floor underneath the thundering footsteps of other students.

Looking up, you saw a few guys walking together snickering at you, one of them muttering “Loser,” under his breath, a smirk on his lips. They proceeded down the hallway laughing with each other, already having forgotten about you. Quicky, you crouched down to the ground and rushed to grab what was left of your pencils before they were whisked away by everyone’s feet. From the corner of your eye you realized that your sketchbook had fallen open right on the most recent drawing of Yoongi, his gaze resting solemnly on something on the other side of the classroom window.

You paused for a moment, before you noticed someone standing still behind you. A tremor went through you as you turned your head and locked eyes with the very person you had spent the last hour gazing at. Yoongi appeared as if he was towering over you, time held at bay for a moment. As quickly as his eyes met yours, they looked over to your sketchbook still lying open on the floor.

You jolted forward and snatched it from where it was lying, pure embarrassment rising to your face. It felt like your face was bursting into flames as you shakily stood up and held the drawing tightly to your chest. Not meeting his eyes, you opened your mouth to say something, anything. Instead you ended up stuttering your way into further embarrassment, feeling his eyes bore holes into your face.

Yoongi continued staring at you, as if he was enjoying your discomfort. It probably wasn’t every day that he found out someone enjoyed spending their time drawing him. You cringed. Stiffly, your legs moved to walk away in shame, your head pointed down at the ground.

But as you took your first step away from him, a grip that was almost gentle caught your arm. Your foot quickly stumbled back in place and his fingers felt like they were molding into your arm. He didn’t say a word, leaning in as he slowly pulled your drawing back from your chest. Your hands started to tremble slightly, feeling his soft breath on your shoulder and below your ear. A small crease between your eyebrows, you lifted your head to look at his face curiously.

He studied your drawing for a few long seconds, the time stretching out with how close he was to you. A faint smile made its way on his lips, the first smile of his that you had ever seen. Pulling away, Yoongi took a step back and looked toward you. He paused for a moment, quickly muttering, “You’re a good artist.”

Your eyes grew fractionally as you watched him turn, your eyes following his back as he walked straight into the rushing sea of students. They parted mildly, no one daring to be in his path. A few sent glances at you, wondering what he was doing talking to you. You blinked, looked down at your drawing one last time before jamming it into your bag. Yoongi was lost in the crowd by now. Checking a clock on the wall, you figured you should head to class before you were late. Turning on your heel, you watched the ground and briskly walked down the hallway.

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