#large amounts of caffiene anyway

[bts-reacts]

Info Game

Well it’s my turn here we go

Last

1. Drink - Arozina green tea with honey and ginseng this runs through my veins

2. Phone call - My boo 

3. Text message - Also my boo

4. Song you listened to - Well if you don’t count what I’m currently listening to, EOEO by UNIQ

5. Time you cried - This morning. I AM A VERY PASSIONATE SINGER AND I SAW A VIDEO WHERE THIS GIRL ON THE UNIT HIT A BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT HIGH NOTE. THEN THE GROUP DID AMAZING HARMONIES It was The Yellow group singing Jackpot. I got shook

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - when I was in 4th-8th grade and didn’t knw what dating was I went back and forth with the same guy every single damn year

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Every boy I hooked up with during my senior year I was discovering myself through a hoe phase

8. Been cheated on - my ex cheated on me for 6 months of our 1 year relationship. Then called me a crazy bitch for calling him out on it and telling the girl he had another gf. I am still blocked on all of his social media

9. Lost someone special - I was raised by a single mother until I was about 7 years old. My step dad was the first man I had in my life to be considered a father, and in 2012 he passed away in a motorcycle accident. He got hit headon by a semi truck while he was planning a ride for our church

10. Been depressed - I am the shining definition of depression

11. Gotten drunk and threw up - I don’t touch alcohol because the yeast smell is disgusting

Fave colors:

12. Pastels

13. Not pink I have red hair so I grew up dressed in pink because “it made my hair look nice”

14. Honestly it depends on the day. Some days I have a favorite color, other days I have a different one.

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - do my coworkers count? I mean I’m around them 40 hours a week. That’s more than my family

16. Fallen out of love - I’ve been with my bf for over a year so I’ve actually done the complete opposite

17. Laughed until you cried - Totes

18. Found out someone was talking about you - Honestly I don’t remember

19. Met someone who changed you - I had an old coworker who made me realize just how gross some guys can be. He got excited when my bf left for China and asked me everyday if he could be my “temporary bf”??????????????

20. Found out who your friends are - Well I’ve only ever had two true friends so I guess I found out who my friends are years ago

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - My grandma and my boo?

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Honestly a lot of them knew me through school, but I didn’t actually know them personally. I’ve gone through and deleted people eveyr now and again because I don’t know them and I don’t want them clogging up my feed

23. Do you have any pets - I HAVE SO MANY. Three cats: two grumpy old men and one excited young kitty. AND 3 BEAUTIFUL PUPPIES WHO ALL THREE COME RUNNING WHEN YOU SHOUT FOR THE BABIES TO COME HERE

24. Do you want to change your name - I used to. No one spells it right, or says it right the first time. When the teacher would do roll call on the first day of school I would know they were talking about me when they paused and stared at the list. It’s spelled Shaina. I’ve had Shayna, Shania, Shanna, and one girl at a starbucks spelled it Shanea. I guess it just makes me unique so I’ll stick with it.

25. What did you do for your last birthday - My bf and I took a small vacation up to Chicago and visited museums, aquariums, AND ATE HOTDOGS AND DEEP DISH PIZZA

26. What time did you wake up today - 12:30ish

27. What were you doing @ midnight last night - playing Detroit because Connor is a gorgeous puppy who needs protection

28. What is something you can’t wait for - I can’t wait to move out of my mom’s house in a month or so

30. What are you listening to right now - Generally, I’m addicted to (G)IDLE’s new comback. Literally and currently, my spotify is playing Cypher Pt 4

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - Honestly I have a terrible memory so I don’t know

32. Something that gets on my nerves - Everything. But really, people who act like they’re better than you just beause they have more experience in something or have been somewhere for a long time. I have a coworker who thinks he’s right about everything because “He’s been working there a long time”

33. Most visited website - Gmail and CreditKarma. School just started so I’m obssesive over my email and I’ve always been obssesive over my credit score

34. Hair color - Dark red. Not most ginger’s red. As I’ve gotten older, it’s darkened towards a brownish red

35. Hair long or short - very long. It’s halfway down my back when I put it in a high ponytail and need at least 2 holders to keep it up in a bun

36. Do you have a crush on someone - nope

37. What do you like about yourself - I love my hair and my brain. My hair and eye color is a unique combination (brown eyes w/ red hair). I’ve always been extremely creative since I was little and that’s such a big part of who I am

38. Want any piercings - Ever since I was emo, I’ve wanted my lip pierced

39. Blood type - I have no clue

40. Nicknames - Depends on who you ask. My grandpa calls me little red, my friend calls me Shay, an old friend from high school caled me Shane Dog

41. Relationship status - Surprisingly taken

42. Zodiac - Pisces

43. Pronounce - She/her

44. Fave TV shows - Anything I watch is a fave tv show

45. Tattoos -None but I desperately want some

46. Right or left handed - Right. But when I was younger my cat bit my right hand so I couldn’t move it. So I can eat comfortably with any hand, but I only write with my right hand

47. Ever had surgery - Nope

48. piercings - The traditional one piercing in both ears

49. Sports - Dancing and I still love softball even though I stopped playing in th grade

50. Vacations - I high key want to visit Madrid and Mexico City. 

51. Trainers - ???

More general

52. Eating - Last thing I ate was the best ramen ever for dinner

53. Drinking - Lipton green tea I love green tea

54. I’m about to watch - Well I’m currently in the middle of Bromance and Strong Girl Bong Soon

55. Waiting - to go to bed

56. Want - to transfer to my dream college that on the other side of the country...

57. Get married - I feel too young to be married atm. Plus my bf and I have only been together for a year. But if I do my uncle can legally marry me so that’s sweet

58. Career - Currently working as a cook at Applebee’s. But my dream career is to be a business owner of my own bakery. or a singer, I want to sing so badly but that’s unrealistic :/

59. Hugs or kisses - Hugs all day

60. Lips or eyes - I am just mesmorized by single lid eyes idk why

61. Shorter or taller - a bit taller. like a few inches

62. Older or younger - Older

63. Nice stomach or stomach - I’ve had both and I didn’t love myself either way. I’m more worried about feeling comfortable in my body so I don’t care about which one I guess?

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship. Hookups will still text you every month asking if you’re single yet so you can hook up again. They’re too stressful tbh

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - Little of both

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - Unfortunately yes

67. Drank hard liquor - I’ve had sips of my mother’s wine that is it

68. Lost glasses - I’VE LOST LIKE 3 PAIRS OF GLASSES SOMEHOW???

69. Turned someone down - Yes

70. Sex on first date - Another unfornately yes

71. Broken someone’s heart - Not that I know of

72. Had your heart broken - The first boy I loved broke my heart when I was 15

73. Been arrested - I cry when I get pulled over for not wearing a steatbelt. I’ve never been arrested

74. Cried when someone died - my step dad dying came as a shock. I did the whole stare into space, sit down and continue staring, then sob. It was like a tv show

75. Fallen for a friend -  nah

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - Kinda

77. Miracles - Hell ye

78. Love at first sight - I used to, but then I learned that that is not love.

79. Santa Claus - I did until I was almost in high school

80. Kiss on first date - My first date iwht my bf, he hugged me goodbye and gave me a little kiss on the should r that was really cute. So if it’s those kinds of kisses yes

81. Angels - Totes

Other

82. Best friend’s name - Katlyn and Alex 

83. Eye color - Dark DARK brown

84. Fave movie - The Harry Potter series. ALl day every day

85. Favorite actor - I really like Benedict Cumberbatch for some reason?

Wow that took me forever. There’s more about me tho!!! I better go to bed because it’s almost 1 and I have a class tomorrow at 9 kill me

~Admin Red

[leotssukinaga]

the makki tag is so DRY brb im abt to write for him and nobody else for a month djfnnsg

[injuries-in-dust]

Even when humans know they aren’t supposed to drink the poison, they’ll find a way to drink the poison!

No wonder aliens are terrifed of us. We already injest all kinds of poisons, from alcohol, to caffiene, for fun, but imagine them learning about Torpedo Juice. It was deliberatly made to be poisonous and bad tasting so that we wouldn’t drink it, but humans just went “fuck that” and found ways to drink it anyway.

Torpedo juice Source: Wikipedia.

Torpedo juice is American slang for an alcoholic beverage, first mixed in World War II, made from pineapple juice and the 180-proof grain alcohol fuel used in United States Navy torpedo motors. Various poisonous additives were mixed into the fuel alcohol by Navy authorities to render the alcohol undrinkable, and various methods were employed by the U.S. sailors to separate the alcohol from the poison. Aside from the expected alcohol intoxication and subsequent hangover, the effects of drinking torpedo juice sometimes included mild or severe reactions to the poison, and the drink's reputation developed an early element of risk.

In the first part of the Pacific War, U.S. torpedoes were powered by a miniature steam engine burning 180- or higher-proof ethyl alcohol as fuel. The ethyl alcohol was denatured by the addition of 5–10% "pink lady", a blend of dye, methanol and possibly other ingredients. Methanol causes blindness when ingested, and cannot be made non-poisonous. The methanol was said to be (largely) removed by filtering the fuel mix through a compressed loaf of bread.

Later, a small amount of Croton oil was added to the neutral grain spirits which powered U.S. torpedoes. Drinking alcohol with the oil additive caused painful cramps, internal bleeding and a violent emptying of the bowels. It was intended as a replacement for methanol which had caused blindness in some sailors. To avoid the Croton oil, sailors devised crude stills to slowly separate the alcohol from the poison, as alcohol evaporated at a lower temperature than Croton oil. The stills were sometimes called 'Gilly' stills, and the resulting potable alcohol was known as 'gilly'.

[beyainica-blog]

Weight on 2/3/19

I am 105.2kg or 231.9lbs

So much to say. Honestly it’s therapeutic to write these posts and having accountability its also nerve wracking and time consuming. I feel pressured too. I know not that many or anyone at all is really paying attention to me but it just feels overwhelming. But I will be able to look back at this and hopefully be proud

Weight

Honestly I’m just as shocked as anyone who might stumble on this weight loss journey. I don’t know why I’m losing 2-4lbs a day on this liquid diet. At first I was like oh, I have pneumonia, I’m taking phentermine and its a liquid diet I expect to lose alot of weight. Especially the first week thats typical. But I have been doing the liquid diet for over a week. I’m not “sick” anymore I might still be fighting off the infection (probably why I sweat so much I’ll get into that later) so I don’t get it. I feel like my scale is wrong, but we’ll see at the doctors office. My scale was 1lb off so it was pretty accurate. I just feel like my eyes are decieving me. On my water fast. I lost weight much slower. Granted I didn’t move around at all. Didn’t drink that much water. But now I don’t drink that much liquid. In fact I was less than sedentary so I wouldn’t faint I was pretty weak. On the liquid diet I’m still weak but not as much because of the sugars in powerade or whatever I’m drinking. I move around ALOT in comparison. I didn’t have a job during my water fast and I wasn’t very active except for school. And I only had ONE class. I have a job that I move around alot AND I workout every morning even though I don’t eat anything. I know being at such a high weight I will lose quickly but I didn’t think it would be THIS quick. If this is true of course I’m fucking happy this is exactly what I wanted. But its just too good to be true and I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want to jinx it. If this is true I want this to continue until I get to 170. I’ll be the happiest girl in the fucking world. I think its true though. Even if the scale is wrong its still super motivating to see the scale move and thats whats keeping me going

Body.

Honestly I can kind of see the weight loss. My pants are looser. My boobs are reducing. My stomach is SLOWLY but surely reducing. My legs look leaner. My arms are kind of reducing too. I feel like I really am losing this weight. But again we shall see at the doctors office coming soon. In about 19-20 days

Phentermine

I stopped taking phentermine. Why? Well because I have anxiety already. My heart rate is already elevated. I also am fat with high cholesteral so my heart is even more elevated. At rest my pulse is 80 thats a bit high for someone my age. The amount of caffiene in there is just too much for me right now. I was fearful of what could happen to me if I kept taking it. I’m all about doing ANYTHING to lose weight but I don’t want to die. Does phentermine work? Um YES. It doesn’t inherently cause weight loss I have been losing the same if not more being off it. It helps you not feel hunger pains or hunger. Off it I have to deal with hunger which is way better than potentially getting a stroke. Maybe I will get the pill cutters and just take half. I’m waiting to get to 200lbs or 199lbs to try it again. Yes I intend to still take it and on my next visit I am getting more. Why? Because it had helped me so far. It does work. Its my own fault I cannot take them. I intend to get the 3 month supply and store it for anytime I binge in the future. My heart rate has a direct correlelation to my weight if my weight reduces so will my heart rate and obviously everything else. 230 I remember having issues with bp thats what I weighed at the end of the semester in college. I know that because I donated plasma and sometimes turned away because of how high my heart rate was. So if I lose another 30lbs I should be fine. Though I still will start with half. See how it goes. Yeah phentermine was making my workouts difficult. I felt like my heart was going to pop out my chest. Anxiety, caffiene and exercise is not a good combination. Now I don’t struggle with my workouts since I stopped taking it.

Weight Reality

I havent properly gushed about my weight loss so far. I can’t believe I got here. I use to stay at the same 252 or shoot back up to 268 and stay there. Now I’m ALMOST IN THE FUCKING 220’s. Literally 2lbs away. And Valentines day is 10 days away. I will hit my first goal weight in a week. Which technically was my valentines weight goal intially but I feel like I will be less by then. 220’s then the 210’s before you know it I will be 200 and THEN I WILL TASTE THE 100’s I cannot weight to be out the 200’s I never want to see it again. EVER. Ugh can it come quicker. (I mean its already coming pretty quick lmao) I’m just impatient. My goal since its monday 2/4/19 is to lose 5kg in the next 5 days. I want to be 100kg by the time I get to work. 100kg exactly is 220lbs omg. Thats 11lbs in 5 days. With the way my weight loss has been going I really feel like I can do it fly by the 230’s quickly. If I dont binge. Speaking of that

Cravings/Binge

I am fighting a potential binge

EVERY FUCKING TIME I GET ON THE VERGE OF A NEW WEIGHT (232,242,252) EVERY FUCKING TIME I AM ABOUT TO GET INTO A NEW WEIGHT RANGE I WANT TO BINGE. I have said this before and I will REPEAT it until I get to my goal weight.

I want CHICKEN. Omg I fucking love fried chicken so much its not fucking fair. Ugh TENDERS AND WHITE GRAVY. I want a family pack and fries. I want to dip and eat all day. SUCH A DISGUSTING FAT FANTASY but I can’t help it. I really want RAMEN. Chicken flavored obviously but spicy too. Ugh. I want to try the new flaming hot doritos. I WANT CARAMEL CHOCOLATES. I fucking want subway lol why. I want egg and sausage burritos. I want PAPA JOHNS EXTRA LARGE PIZZA with extra cheese bacon, ham, pepperoni.

I want ALL of this in one day. Now you see why I had continous binge cycles. Because I wanted all my cravings satisfied. Thats alot of food even for a fat ass like me. It could take me days to eat all of that. And thats just today as feburary passes I will just get more cravings with new foods.

Here is why I’m not going to give in. Because I know it won’t be just one day binge. I know I will gain weight. I am so close to my first goal weight. I am treated better the more weight I lose. I will deter my cam girl job, I wont move out as quick.

I lost my train of thought. Anyway I’m waiting for my calculated and planned binge. Knowing I will have these foods again is comforting it just feels like forever you know. I only get my binge if I reach 194-193 or lower. 199-195 isn’t enough. The goal is to GET OUT the 200’s and stay there. If I binge at 199 I will go back to 200. If I binge at 193 the most I will gain is 4lbs at most send me back to 197 which is very close to 200, but not 200!

Weightloss Goals & Plans

I want to be 220lbs or 100kg before I get back to work this friday. The 8th thats 4-5 days away. The mini goal is 5kg in 5 days but also. Lets go ahead and do 7kg in 7 days. I want to be 97-98kg by Sunday-Monday.

If I’m 220 by this friday. I should be 210 by valentines day. Which is next thursday.

Honestly I just really want to get to size 9 so I can go ahead buy these good fashion nova jeans and fit into size 9 pants my work jeans are getting to big. Like I’m not even saying it proudly its fucking annoying. I’m not buying anything thats not a size 9 I will keep wearing big ass pants and think nothing of it period.

What else?

So much but let me seperate it

I think thats it. I got alot more to get off my chest this is just the weightloss portion.

The liquid diet is meh. I miss eating. I DONT MISS exercising everything off only to lose half a pound. I do enjoy the fast weightloss. I like powerade so its whatever. I dont have a choice being this fat you do what you can. I might switch it up once I hit the 180’s which is 40lbs away.

[ceallaig1]

RULES : ANSWER all questions, ADD one question of your own and then TAG as many people as there are questions (most everyone I know has been tagged, so go ahead and play if you want!)

Tagged by @lakritzwolf

coke or pepsi? coke, caffiene free diet (yeah, I know what’s the point, but the amount I drink it needs to be diet) disney or dreamworks? both, both is good... coffee or tea? neither books or movies? Both is good. windows or mac? Windows dc or marvel? Marvel xbox or playstation? PC gamer, and only World of Warcraft night owl or early riser? generally early bird cards or chess? neither -- bored now... chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate! vans or converse? whatever my feet like better... star wars or star trek? Star Trek one episode per week or marathoning? Does one or two per night count as a marathon? gandalf or obi-wan? I wanna dropkick Gandalf into the next Age... heroes or villains? Depends on the character, john williams or hans zimmer? John Williams! disneyland/disney world or six flags? nope, just nope! forest or sea? Sea. flying or reading minds? Flying--I don’t want to know what most people are thinking. twin peaks or northern exposure? Northern Exposure harry potter or lord of the rings? I like large parts of both, and also hate large parts of both... cake or pie? Cake you are banished to a desert island, which benedict cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you? Smaug. We could fly home again.(I’m leaving this from lakritz’ post, it’s perfect!) train or cruise ship? Ship, but only if I have my dramamine brian cox or neil degrasse-tyson? talk about an apples and oranges choice...did they mean Brian May? Anyway, Dr. Neil all the way! wizard of oz or alice in wonderland? both of them are acid trips... fanfiction or fanart? BOTH IS GOOD the hunger games - books or movies? Fuck off. (once again, leaving lakritz’ answer, perfect!) be able to see the future or travel into the past? probably the past but only if I knew I could get back again.  Seeing the future has way too many pitfalls...though I wouldn’t mind knowing the lottery numbers... han solo or luke skywalker? HAN!!! lilacs or sunflowers? Lilacs spring or autumn? Spring is gorgeous, but there is something about autumn--it’s like Mother Nature knows she has to go to sleep for awhile, and is out to throw the biggest, best party of the year. campfire or fireplace? Fireplace, all warm and cozy french fries or onion rings? Onion rings in general, although seasoned fries are just to die for! truth or dare? Truth. winter or summer? Summer more than winter, but I’m not fond of extremes period. vampires or werewolves? Werewolves

red or blue? Red eyes or lips? eyes burgers or sandwiches? depends on my mood friends-to-lovers or enemies-to-lovers trope? friends to lovers FTW pizza or pasta? pizza,thick crust and lots of cheese! ancient rome or ancient greece? The Romans were very barbaric is a lot of ways to I have to go with Greece foxes or wolves? Wolves. mermaids or dragons? dragons kate bush or madonna? nope, just nope... the office or parks and recreation? I’ve been allergic to sitcoms since MASH and WKRP in Cincinatti went off the air... sci-fi or period drama?  Sci-Fi, though I do like a really well done period drama Fairytales or Mysteries? both--and then you get urban fantasy, which pretty much combines the two... Explore the oceans or space? As much as I like sci fi, space scares me abit, so I’d go with ocean. cats or dogs? Dogs,though I adore my cat BJ. Morning or evening? depends on the day Freckles or dimples? dimples Tattoos or piercings? honestly...neither, both involve needles... Strings or percussion? percussion!

snow or rain?

Everyone I know has been tagged,pretty much, so please feel free to play if you wish!