#lara has 11

[coolwyous]

┈─★ 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ( 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 — 𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙤. )

   ⊹ ࣪ ˖ your professor contacts you to ask if you’d be willing to share your notes with a classmate that has requested a bit of help. you’re more than happy to help, until resident hockey star megan skeindiel is hitting you up every week, expectantly waiting for you to hand them over...

   ˎˊ˗  ❄️  ⊹ ࣪ ˖  🔓୭˚.  ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

   ➴ pairing: hockey player! megan skiendiel x english major!f!reader

   ➴ genre + wc: 10k, college au! one-sided enemies to friends, friends to lovers, dorky hockey jock megan, mostly fluff tbh

   ➴ you might want to tune in...: ditto - njz

┈─★ a/n: wigline was giving boyfriend in that livestream and i was trying to decide what sport before i was struck w the idea of megan and her beanie bros as wanna-be-frat-boy hockey stars. planning on making this part of a larger universe, goalie!lara and captain!dani coming next. enjoy!

eng121: intro to british literature. meets tuesday and thursday from 11:00 to 12:15. 

you’re always a few minutes early, an easy walk considering your world history lecture is just upstairs. you’ve always been punctual, thus why you’re first to class every time. it’s definitely not so you can get a front row seat in the lecture hall to make a good impression on your favorite professor teaching your favorite subject. 

the lecture hall starts to slowly trickle in. you don’t know anyone in this class, which is okay– you’re there to focus anyways, and given that your grade is an impeccable 98% by the end of week 5, you figure you’re doing something right. of course, minji and belle would say you’re doing way too much, every late night study session you pick instead of joining them for another party celebrating the hockey team–

your mind trails to thoughts of that damn women’s hockey team. they’re loud, they’re arrogant, and worst of all, they’re everywhere.

you hope they’re gone on an away game today. it’s so much easier to focus when they’re not there. 

but unfortunately, you’re not that lucky. the idiots come bursting in through the door. a curly haired blonde, a grinning brunette with red tips, and the tallest of the three, a button-nosed ginger. each wearing the team’s signature letterman jacket. you hate the sight of that damn letterman jacket.

they’re rough housing with each other, pushing and shoving, until eventually, one of them crashes into your desk, sending your bookbag and its contents flying. you feel your teeth grit together— any closer and it would have been your coffee all over your brand new laptop. 

“sorry, sorry,” the blonde screech-laughs, scrambling to catch herself before she tumbles. you spot the hickeys shamelessly scattered on her neck. you wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if she had showed up half drunk to class.

“bro, pick them up for her at least,” the red-haired one laughs.

“i got it,” you say through gritted teeth. you want to say as little as possible to these idiots.

but it’s the tall one who is kneeling down with you, scooping up your pens in her hands, offering them to you all while avoiding your gaze. “uh, sorry ‘bout that.”

“it’s fine.”

“cool miffy eraser.”

“thanks.”

is she expecting you to thank her? for picking up four pens and an eraser that her friend dropped?

your professor clears his throat once the teaching assistant arrives, signaling the start of class. the three stooges share a look between themselves before hurrying up the steps of the lecture hall, making their way up to a back row where you’re certain they’re planning to just good off and distract everyone for the rest of class.

you sigh as you return to your seat and focus on the words in front of you on your laptop. you hate hockey.

“hi y/n,” sophia, the delightfully nice upperclassman TA of your course approaches you as class ends. “got a minute?”

you nod, packing up your backpack. sophia has taught a few lessons in the course, her powerpoints engaging and meticulous, and you can’t help but admire how perfectly she navigates the content. talk about goals. 

“the university resource center reached out to us and said a student is requesting accommodations. a note-taker is all they’re asking for. that means we can find someone in class to assign to take notes for the student.”

“me?” your eyebrows arch as your realize what she’s asking.

“i’ve been grading your class’ discussion posts. you very clearly love british literature.” she smiles, and you feel your neck burn at the compliment. “it’s a decent pay, and you can just offer whatever notes you’re already taking. we just need to let the student know by friday. let me know?”

minji gives you the push you need when you get home to your dorm later that day and explain your situation to your roommates. 

“you’re already taking the notes. might as well get your bag,” she shrugs from her bed where she’s playing animal crossing.

belle nods in agreement. “plus, you love being helpful. our bleeding heart.”

you roll your eyes and shoot an email to sophia, receiving a smiley face as her reply just a few minutes later. 

-

you printed out your notes up to that point in the quarter to have them ready for thursday’s lecture. sophia said she’ll introduce the two of you at the end of class, all you have to do is hang back. you ruffle through your backpack once class ends, tucking your laptop away as the last of your classmates begin to trickle out the door.

your professor waves to you as he leaves, and you happily get up from your seat to approach sophia.

at least– until you’re cut off by someone clumsily stepping in front of you, in a flash of ginger hair.

your heart drops. no way in hell.

“hi.” she says simply, face unreadable. today, her and the three stooges kept showing tik toks to each other in the middle of lecture, at least three accidentally blasting at full volume. you want to tell her the hell off for always disrupting your favorite class, but sophia’s eyes are eagerly on you, and you want to impress your new mentor.

“hi,” you manage to get out behind gritted teeth.

this girl is way too overdressed for an 11am english lit course. white button up shirt, a messily knotted tie, dickies and that stupid letterman jacket with the leather sleeves. the beanie she usually sports is nowhere to be found, letting you get a better look at her features. 

not that you particularly care to look at her. she’s not even giving you the decency to look you in the eyes, instead, just fixing her glance at your hand and pointing.

“i need that,” she finally says after an awkward pause. she points again. “uh, those.”

“you?” you’re still in disbelief. you’re going to spend every thursday after class giving your beautiful, pristine notes to this entitled fuckboy jock?

“unless uh, if you’re not y/n y/ln, and those aren’t for me,” she adds, peeking down at her phone to confirm the details. 

“i typed today’s lecture.” you feel a scream bubbling in your chest, but you manage to suppress it. “let me send them to you. let me give you my email.”

“ah, cool.” she hands you her phone, already opened to her student email account. you glance at the cinamoroll phone case, when she finally catches you off guard, adding a quick “thank you.”

“no problem.” well, yes problem, but maybe it’s more of an ego thing. at least she finally said thank you.

“if you could send, uh, all of them. that’d be easier.” the athlete scratches awkwardly at the back of her head. you’re a bit irritated that you wasted all that paper trying to print them and be polite, but whatever. bleeding heart or whatever belle said, you figure you can’t exactly be choosy about your good deeds if you want the karma. 

“and we have an away game next week, so i’ll be missing class on tuesday. if you can email me then too…”

“got it.” when did you sign up to be a freaking personal assistant?

“thank you.” she dips her head down, lips pressing together into a fine line. “i’m megan.”

“bye megan,” you wave, before snatching up your backpack and getting the hell out of there.

-

you’re left in peace next week as the three stooges aren’t there on tuesday.

thursday rolls around, and megan is waiting for you in the hallway by the door again, leaning against the wall. you’re starting to feel extremely irritated by the whole situation. she didn’t even reply to your emails from last week or this week to say thank you for the notes you emailed. at the very least, she could let you know that she got them, right?

“you can just email them, all of them, in the future. save the paper,” she tells you as you hand her your annotated paper copy of that week’s powerpoint. you squint at her and walk off without a word.

-

the one good thing that comes out of this arrangement is that sophia invites you to get coffee with her after class, and your mentor becomes one of your favorite friends in the span of a week. 

“i didn’t know you got accommodations for being a jock that misses half a semester’s worth of class,” you say irritatedly as you pick your order up off the counter. 

sophia laughs. “i’m so sorry… they don’t tell me why they need the notes, just that they’re approved for them.”

“ugh, i’d kill for someone to give me all their notes,” minji, who tagged along, complains. “stupid hockey players get everything handed to them.”

“do you think that’s really it though? like they get free access to a notewriter because they miss so much class? and the university obviously wants to keep making money off of them,” you speculate. “holy shit. that’s so unfair.”

“i don’t know anything about how the student athlete system works,” sophia wrinkles her nose. 

you’ve already made up your mind. come this thursday, you’re putting your foot down.

-

thursday’s class comes. megan’s stupid blonde friend does actually spill your coffee this time. now, you’re not only pissed with megan, but pissed with everything that surrounds her. her friends leave the lecture hall with the taller girl trailing behind them, but you grab her by the sleeve to stop her. she’s dressed normally today: beanie, hoodie, sweats, and that stupid jacket on top of it all.

“y/n,” she greets, almost cheerfully. “you don’t have to keep waiting for me, the emails are fine-”

“i don’t think you deserve my notes any more,” you cut her off. you’re waiting for it, the entitlement, the meltdown, whatever it is that shitty people who take advantage of you do, but it never comes.

megan simply wrinkles her nose and shrugs, scratching awkwardly at her forehead.

“well, i’m dyslexic, so there’s that.”

“oh my god.” that’s why she got the accommodation approved. not because she’s a jock. you’re swept over by a wave of instant regret. you pray to god you’ll live this down. “i am so sorry.”

“your notes are also really, really helpful.” megan holds up the paper she had been hiding in her hand. a bright red 72 is circled on the quiz. 

“a C?”

“technically a C minus,” she corrects you playfully. “and it’s the best i’ve done on one of these stupid quizzes since the semester started.”

you feel your nose burn with embarrassment. “i’m sorry.”

“i’d be annoyed too if someone took advantage from all my hard work.” she offers a tilt of her head. “i promise i’ll be more grateful.”

“no, you don’t have to do that.” you’re still reeling from megan’s quiet confession. “i was being neurotic.”

“here, ah, put your number in,” she hands you her silly cinnamoroll phone case. “i’ll send you a QR code, you can scan it for free drinks at the cafe. student athlete discount.”

“i’m sorry again,” you grimace. 

she shakes her head. the smile playing on her lips stirs something in the pit of your stomach.

“it’s no worries. i’ll see you next week.”

-

two weeks after your whole expose on megan, you two have fallen into a cordial rhythm of nodding to each other at the end of every class. you appreciate that she acknowledges you now.

however, this does not diminish your burning hatred for the hockey team as a whole. 

you’re in the middle of impressing your professor, explaining the contrast between romanticism and modern cynicism, bringing in points you had connected from your intro to philosophy class. 

but it’s hard to finish the thoughts when the three stooges are causing a ruckus from their corner of the room. you see lara smack dani in the shoulder, the two struggling to catch their breaths in between silent laughs. megan, stuck in the middle of them, looks clearly distressed. 

your eyes meet, and you swear there’s something apologetic in the way she looks at you. 

your professor is equally as unpleased as you are, glaring at the trio as you finish your thoughts. 

“miss skiendiel? any thoughts?”

you can’t help but feel bad. if anything, megan was the least guilty of the three. it was the other two that were giggling like little stupid frat boys. 

“uh yeah,” megan leans back in her chair, clearing her throat. she’s quiet for a few moments before she simply shrugs and scratches at her nose. “ditto, y/ln.”

dani bursts out into laugher and a few other snickers are heard throughout the lecture hall. you grit your teeth. is she too cool to care? you had started to let yourself think that maybe she was more than a mindless jock just coasting through classes so she could focus on playing. but every chance she gets, megan just feeds the fire. 

she tries to nod at you after class, but you’re not having it. it surprises you when she steps into your way, ducking her head down to meet your gaze. you curse silently at how much taller she is than you.

“hey,” she chirps. 

“what do you want?” 

“i’m sorry about them. they’re—“ she pauses, processing your tone. “hold up, are you annoyed with me?” 

“i shouldn’t be?” you snap. 

“why would you? i was trying to tell them to shut up.”

“and then you opened your mouth, and it was like you couldn’t be bothered. you act like you’re above it all.”

she’s staring at you in disbelief, that stupid beanie obstructing her brows but you can see the confusion in her eyes. those big round puppy dog eyes widen. 

“that? y/n, you think my dumb ass is gonna be able to come up with something on the spot right after you just sounded so smart? much less in front of everyone?”

“you’re always so over it.”  you roll your eyes, reaching down to grab your backpack. “care at least a little.”

“y/n, listen to me.” megan holds her hand out to stop you and her voice drops, but it’s not threatening. it’s almost… shy?  “y/n, you scare the fucking shit out of me. that’s why i’m so quiet. i’m trying to think of what to say.”

you blink back in confusion. “i’m not scary.”

“you’re like a super genius.” the athlete gives you a pleading look. “my brain feels like i dropped it in the toilet and soaked it in rice.”

you laugh at her comparison. she grins and you figure you can forgive her, at least this time. 

“that’s dramatic.”

“i’m hopeless. your notes are the only thing keeping me holding on.”

you feel an ache in your chest. megan isn’t all that bad— just a girl desperate to make progress even if she’s sinking. 

“are you busy tonight? i can come help you study,” you offer, and you can already hear belle clowning you for your charity work. 

her grin widens, exposing the whites of her extremely nice teeth. you feel yourself soften, even if just for a moment.

“you’d be saving my life. i’ll text you my dorm after practice.”

“don’t stand me up,” you warn. you wonder if it went to your head, hearing megan admit you intimidate her.

but then her lips curl into a playful smile, nodding as she strides backwards out of the classroom. “yeah, ditto, y/n. i better see you then.”

you’re in her building as soon as she texts you that she’s out just a few hours later. you double check the number on the door and feel your heart pound as her neighbor walks out, eyeing you up and down before heading down the hall. ugh, you pray you don’t look desperate.

“megan?” you call out, knocking on the door. the door gives way, clearly not locked or even closed all the way, and you immediately spot the flash of bright orange hair. she’s hunched over in front of her bed, eyes fixed on the laptop with a set of headphones covering her ears. her hair is in two braids falling over her shoulders.

“y/n! sorry, these things are noise cancelling,” she apologizes, motioning for you to come join her. you step in, and she tries to turn the laptop away from you, which you flag as suspicious. “i got started without you.”

you lean over a little further and roll your eyes as you see what’s actually pulled up. it’s a hockey game. 

“so much for studying time, skiendiel.”

“no, no,” she says hurriedly, pulling the headphones completely off her head.  “i’m listening to your notes. look.”

she pulls up her phone and true to her word, she’s using speech to text to read the document out through her headphones. 

your heart breaks at her brows furrowing together, those dark eyes pleading up at you. she’s just a fucking puppy. 

“it’s the only way i can focus. i have to watch my games back to relax. i already did my workouts, ate, packed for tomorrow. it’s the only way i can fit everything in and not go crazy.”

“i can read them to you,” you offer.

“i can read,” megan wrinkles her nose. “i just waste more energy trying to figure it out than actually retaining anything.”

“i can read, and explain it to you,” you modify your initial suggestion, before you even realize what you’re doing. why are you so eager to help this girl? a month ago you were complete strangers, and she was the bane of your existence.

but there she is, the jock you hoped would never show up to class again, looking up at you with the most round brown eyes that keep rustling something in you. is it pity?

“you must think i’m so fucking stupid,” she grimaces, shaking her head. 

“i think you’re willing to work hard,” you tell her gently. “that counts for a lot in my book, actually.”

she says nothing, flipping open her copy of the class textbook. but the look she gives you, warm and full of gratitude, says everything.

you two spend the next hour, criss crossed on her floor, papers and books strewn around you. your review is going better than you anticipated: she’s quiet, focused, and attentive to all the comparisons you draw.

“i hate this fuckass romantic period,” megan hisses as you finish your next reading of a lord byron piece. you noticed her brows furrowing halfway through as she tries to keep up. “so much poetry bullshit.”

“you’re good at poetry. it’s all metaphors for big feelings,” you encourage her, before a memory that comes to mind helps carry your point across. “the thing you said about your brain the other day was an amazing metaphor.”

“that? my brainrot? i speak like that ‘cause i can’t figure out how to say what i really want.”

you realize what it is, your question from earlier. it isn’t pity. megan is just a nervous, hard-on-herself girl, stuck in the expectations of others, a victim even to your unfair judgement. literature has always come easily to you– you can’t imagine how hard it must be for someone to be trying to navigate that at a disadvantage and still give it their all. 

you put a finger on it. it’s not pity. it’s admiration. 

“it paints a picture, perfectly,” you tell her, pushing back against what you realize is her constant cloud of self-doubt. she shakes her head, but the smile is there, telling you you’ve broken through to her. you press on, preparing the next passage to read out loud. “just imagine these old white dudes are trying to do the same.”

you don’t finish up until 10pm, when her roommate enters and seems genuinely surprised to see you both.

“hi marsh,” she greets.

“ah, i was wondering why our neighbor warned me that you had a girl over,” the accented girl greets, grinning cheekily. “they couldn’t possibly imagine you’d just be studying.”

you see megan’s face burn red. you laugh to cover up the flash of heat that takes to your neck from the speculation. 

“they’re conspiring against me ‘cause i’m really not like that,” megan groans, standing up hurriedly. “you’re gonna make my tutor think i’m a piece of shit.”

“don’t let her fool you,” the brunette smiles warmly, pointing at megan. “heart of gold, this one.”

“ah okay, now that’s too much.” megan tries to bury her face in her shoulder awkwardly, handing you your shoes. “let me walk you out.”

belle texts you to remind you that she’s outside the dorm to pick up dinner with you, like you had agreed. megan walks you down, waving awkwardly to your roommate before turning to you with that same awkward wave. 

“uh, bye. thank you again. made a lot of sense when you broke it down.”

“i’m happy to come by again soon, if it made a difference,” you smile.

“only if you were already planning to study by yourself. don’t go out of your way for me,” she tells you forcefully.

“i’m happy to,” you reassure her. “good night megan.”

maybe you catch her off guard by saying her name, but the way her eyes widen makes you laugh. there’s something charming about her undeniable awkwardness. she waves again, and watches carefully from the building doors as you stride up to belle, waiting for you on a nearby bench.

“that’s your charity project?” she questions, “your horrible hockey jock?”

“i might’ve been quick to judge,” you admit, looking over your shoulder. megan is still there, leaning against the doorframe, watching you guys walk off. “she’s not all bad.”

“not all bad? you made her seem irredeemable,” belle laughs, looping her arm in yours. 

her only crime is liking hockey and being awkward. you sigh, and belle changes the subject, but you’re stuck thinking about it for the rest of the night. megan deserves a chance to show you who she is before you decide it for her.

-

and she does exactly that. megan, once she feels more comfortable, turns out to be a complete goofball. you’re laughing so hard at her stupid jokes one study session that you cough up red bull out of your nose and megan nearly passes out laughing with you. megan exposes that despite the hockey player stereotype, she is completely harmless. you watch her awkwardly let people cut her in line, or sip a drink made incorrectly when you get coffee together, all because she’s too nervous to speak up. megan is a mama’s girl and has nightly calls with her mom, sometimes interrupting your sessions, but she’s quick to mumble an ‘i love you too, mom,’ when she thinks you can’t hear her. and you learn that  megan, more than anything, loves hockey.

megan is also insanely humble, and is used to hard work. you start to realize just how much the athlete has on her plate.

you guys are leaving class one day, trying to decide when your next study session should be, when she explains what a normal day looks like for her. conditioning, nutrition, physical therapy for an old back strain, at least a half hour every night of reviewing her game tapes to see how she could have played better. and that’s not even including the hour-and-a-half practices she attends every day. and in megan’s case, you realized, she shows up an hour early to get a head start. that’s not even to mention the travel time involved with away games.

no wonder she only hangs around those stupid jock friends of hers. with the exception of her roommate, it doesn’t seem like she’d have much time to make friends outside of that. 

you’ll admit, however, that lara and daniela are slowly growing on you. dani lives in your dorm building, and lara is the only one with a car on campus, so megan will sometimes end up inviting them to come and study with you guys. lara, confident and forward, is extremely friendly and makes you feel at ease once you stop seeing her as some frat boy wanna-be. dani, a self-proclaimed attention whore that you discover also is extremely emotional, has a laugh so infectious it’s easy to see why her and lara are usually distracted in class.

and then megan, tagging along like their dorky little sibling, constantly begging them to stop drawing attention to themselves. you start to read her face, noticing when she’s dying of embarrassment from something they do.

you start to really know megan, and she lets herself be known, an open and honest response for every question you ask as your friendship deepens over the weeks.

“why do you come to class so dressed up sometimes?” you ask one night, trying to figure out how to help her pre-loop up her tie for the next day. you’re sick of seeing that crooked knot on her neck and offered to teach yourself on youtube to help her out.

“you’re supposed to dress formal on game days.” she explains. “like, to respect the sport or whatever.”

“i see,” you hum, trying to focus on remembering where the next loop goes through. you realize on the days megan is dressed up, you see a ton of people wearing their fan merch. you finally connect the dots. “i didn’t realize this many people liked hockey.”

“yeah, ‘cause you’re a giant nerd and don’t pay attention to sports. hockey is our biggest sport here.” megan teases. “half of our graduates go pro.”

“oh,” you blink. you’re becoming painfully aware of how close you two are, your fingers sliding behind her neck to tuck the tie behind her collar. “you must like the attention.”

“no. i like the game.” megan’s still awkward, but as your friendship has grown, she’s gotten better at correcting your incorrect assumptions. “the attention makes me lose focus.”

“do you wanna go pro?” you ask.

“yes,” megan says, and it’s quiet like a confession. 

“i think you can do it.” you say it so confidently, but megan lets out a deep breath that tells you she’s doubted this. you hope she takes your faith in her to heart.

“i would say you should come see a game, but you wouldn’t know the difference if i played great or got my ass beat out there,” she laughs. 

“i think you’re the hardest working person i know. you’ll make anything happen.”

“that’s really nice, y/n.” she watches as your fingers finish the final loop, pulling the knot into her collar snugly. “you’ve always been so down to believe in me.”

“promise you won’t forget about me when you make it big?” you grin teasingly. you smooth out her collar around her tie before feeling your neck burn at the proximity between you two. and yet, you don’t find yourself rushing to move away.

megan’s eyes draw to you with something in them, something gentle and different than before. 

“of course,” she smiles, but there’s something more. you’re not brave enough to ask her about it. 

-

your phone buzzes you awake. you don’t bother to reach for your glasses, simply seeing 1:29am is enough to irritate you. but then you see the contact photo, a goofy candid of megan with her beanie pulled down over her eyes, and you figure you can’t be that mad.

you slip into the hallway to not wake belle and minji before picking up.

“hi.”

“y/n?” her voice is raspy and so, so sweet. you wonder if she’s just as tired as you are. “what’s up, what do you need?”

“you called me, dumbass.” you laugh. “in the middle of the night, i might add.”

“oh shit, right right,” she says cooly. 

you laugh again. megan’s humor is so, so stupid, and you have no clue how she can manage to make you laugh every single time.

“how’s the hotel?” you ask. it’s an away game against washington state.

“too stuffy, and we have a red-eye in like three hours.” she sighs. “daniela just got back from partying and woke me up.”

“at least she didn’t bring anyone back to the room this time,” you say.

“god, please do not remind me of that, y/n,” megan pleads, and you can picture the way she’d give you that panicked glare at the memory. you laugh at the way she told the story when it had first happened– rooming with dani for a game against oregon when the blonde made megan sleep in the bathroom so she could hook up with a sorority girl. megan described being traumatized by what she could hear through the door, and you nearly died of laughter.

“try to sleep. red-eyes can be brutal.”

“i’ll nap when i’m back home,” she reassures you. you’re already planning out what you’ll bring her for lunch as a celebration. you didn’t know much, but you knew that these semi-finals were no joke. 

(you don’t mention minji clowning you for tracking the score of the game, and sophia giving you a questioning look when you screamed in the middle of the dining hall once megan’s team had won.)

“i’m literally whispering and dani says i’m making too much noise. i’ll kill her,” megan adds, and you can practically hear the eye-roll.

“you’re not killing anybody, you big dork,” you laugh. “you should go to sleep.”

“fine fine, bye hater.”

“good night, megan.”

“good night, y/n.” 

you attempt to pay no mind to the flutter in your chest as you make your way back into your dorm, diving into your bed. before you close your eyes, a text from megan makes that flutter even harder to ignore.

wanted to hear your voice

yeah?

i get homesick on the road :/

aw you poor baby

thanks for picking up

sure jsyk u can call whenever, you big baby

ditto

-

“what are you doing tomorrow?” she asks you, after a session in your room where you’ve finished drilling the different dates of publications into her head with a stupid memorization song. 

“i don’t have any plans besides–”

“besides reading books by boring dead dudes,” megan gripes. “some of the older girls are having a party to celebrate making it to the championships. you should come. you can bring your roommates. the house is so close, it’s like a 20 minute walk from the dorms.”

“i’ll think about it,” you smile.

“think about what?” belle’s voice rings out as she enters the room at the perfect time. 

“just a small house party. i’ve never seen you out before, y/n,” megan says.

“y/n’s a homebody, but i’ll get her there. send me the details?” belle grins. 

you groan as the two exchange numbers, seeming much too devious for your liking. but the night ends, the next day passes by, and you won’t give megan the satisfaction of letting her know how excited you are about this as your uber drops you and your roomies off far later in the night than you’d like to be awake. 

minji squints as the music pounds from the house, barely containing the people that you see through each window. the three of you let yourselves in, immediately met by familiar faces. 

“i thought you said small?” belle laughs as lara and daniela greet you with hugs.

“dani posted it to her public story instead of her private,” lara snorts. “half the university is here.”

“if my crime is to love being surrounded by beautiful women, fuckin’ arrest me,” dani defends herself, hands in the air. 

“y/n.” megan’s voice rings out from behind you. your heart thuds as she stands there smiling, like a puppy wagging its tail. “you made it.”

“take this with me!” dani grins, handing you a cup of god knows what. you haven’t had enough experience to know your tolerance, but you figure you can start with one and go from there. the blonde cheers as the drink disappears down your throat, megan giving you a concerned yet amused look.

“you’ll die if you try to keep up with her,” she laughs. “she’s fucking crazy.”

“thanks for the tip,” you smile back. you see the cup in her hand. “should i keep up with you instead?”

“it’s gatorade,” she grins sheepishly. “i’m play to win, and i don’t like to take risks the week of such a big game. i try not to even let myself get upset. gotta focus, y’know.”

“well let’s pour one out for baby megs,” lara toasts, pouring from a bottle into everyone’s cups. “and y/n, who saved our girl from academic probation!”

“alright lar, not too much now,” megan wrinkles her nose. 

you laugh, and her eyes meet yours, a smile behind their warmth. you’re surrounded by some of the most exciting people you’ve ever met, and yet all you want to do is find a quiet corner and talk to this dork. you feel your chest tense with a weight of something, but you shake your head before the thoughts can develop.

“gonna go get another drink,” you excuse yourself quickly. maybe you need something stronger, just for tonight.

you’re in the kitchen pouring yourself something random when the flash of ginger hair catches your attention from the other room. except, megan’s not alone, and there’s a girl standing a bit too close, touching something on megan’s forearm.

your mouth goes dry. you’d spent so long getting to know the side of megan the world doesn’t see, it hadn’t occurred to you that she could still have a bad side to her. is it even a bad side to be flirting with a cute girl at a college party? you swallow a lump in your throat and drink whatever you’ve put in your cup. of course she’s allowed to do what she wants, and that doesn’t make her a bad person.

you look up again, and megan leans down to whisper something in the girl’s ear. the girl laughs a little too hard, touching her arm again in the process. megan’s funny, but there’s no way she’s that funny, and plus, the only person who ever laughs that hard–

you pause. the only person that laughs that hard at her is you. 

the shots you took are catching up to you. you race outside to the front yard to try and get some fresh air, accidentally shoving into a guy who’s lingering by the door.

“woah, slow down there,” he snaps.

“please don’t talk to me,” you reply quickly, head still spinning

“don’t come to my house and be rude as shit,” he growls in response. “i’ll stop talking to you when i want to stop talking to you.”

you try to diffuse it by walking away, but he grabs you by the arm to make you look at him. you feel hot tears spring from your eyes. an angry frat boy is the last thing you can handle right now.

“no smartass comebacks? c’mon, push back you little bitch.”

before you can even do anything, she’s there, like a knight in shining armor, the outside of her forearm crushing against his windpipe as she shoves him into the wall. the movement comes easily to megan, no doubt her 15 years of aggression on the ice. her eyes are wide, darker than you’ve ever seen them before.

she barely registers him before those brown eyes come to you. you feel your breath catch in your chest with the way she looks at you.

megan drops him in an instant, instead coming to chase you down. 

“i couldn’t think of anything cool to say to scare him.” you realize she’s shaking, her voice quivering. she’s unnerved, but her presence is so so comforting, her rambles are somehow exactly what you need. “i wanted to say ‘i’ll fucking kill you’ and then ‘i’ll kick your ass’ but instead i almost said ‘i’ll fuck your ass.’”

you manage a snort through your tears. somehow, megan makes you laugh even through this.

“‘i’ll fuck your ass’ may have been scarier, actually,” you laugh, sniffling. 

“god, y/n.” her brows are knit together in concern. she looks up at the sidewalk, the dorm lights barely visible down the street. “can i make sure you get home okay?”

“it’s so late already, i can’t let you walk back alone.” you shake your head.

“i’m sure as hell not letting you walk alone.” she scoffs, before giving you a nod of reassurance. “dani lives in your building, i’ll sleep at her’s once i’m in the dorm, i have her keycode. please.”

somehow, despite it being god knows how late, you know nothing is going to happen as long as megan is there. she insists on giving you her jacket and as much as you push back, she ignores you and drapes the zip-up over your shoulders anyways. she chats your ear off about how excited she is for friday’s game and before you know it, you’re back in your room, wobbling on unsteady feet through the dorm, grateful your roommates are still partying it up.

“thank you, for everything,” you tell her, watching as you sit on your bed and she quietly unlaces your shoes. 

“i owe you a lot, that was nothing.” she shrugs, tossing your shoes into the corner. “if i’m good for anything, i’m good for shoulder checking weirdos.”

you laugh. “hopefully that’s the last time i’ll need your services.”

“you can need me forever,” megan tells you softly, smile on her lips. “i’m here.”

“i judged you so hard when i first met you,” you confess, falling backwards onto your bed. you blink, staring up at the ceiling.  “i was so wrong about you.”

“yeah?” she laughs, taking a seat next to you to help put your hair into a bun. 

“you’re such a sweetheart,” you sigh, sitting up. your hand brushes a tress of her hair out of her face. “biggest, most thoughtful dork i know.”

“i’m not dorky,” megan furrows her brow. you laugh as her nose scrunches up. 

“you were talking to someone, i’m sorry.” 

“she was talking to herself and calling it a conversation. i promise, as soon as i saw you walk out, i followed you asap.”

you feel yourself studying her, your heart pressing against your ribcage with something eager to come out.

“i bet you kiss so many girls.” the words spill out of you as the alcohol takes its toll. “how come you’ve never tried to kiss me?”

you see megan’s cheeks flush red, her gaze fixed on the tv as she pulls up a 10 hour dancing fruit video to leave on in the background. 

“i don’t kiss that many girls,” she defends herself softly. 

“you’re so special. megan the future superstar.” you groan, realizing how fleeting your friendship is. all you’ll probably be is a footnote in her life’s story. you furrow your brows. “i want a kiss from megan the future superstar.” 

as drunk as you are, you’re shocked when she seems to comply.

your breath hitches as she leans in. her lips press gently against your temple. 

“there.” she whispers, checking down at her phone. “minji and belle will be here soon, okay? good night, y/n.”

she pulls your blanket up over your shoulders and slips into the hallway. you’re too out of it to ask her to stay.

-

you wake up, and realize someone is in your bed.

you panic for a brief second before you realize that person is playing animal crossing on their switch, completely unbothered by you gaining consciousness. you’ve never been so grateful to see minji before, even if she is smothering you as you cram into the twin sized bed.

“she’s alive,” minji calls out from next to you. belle comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered, and pulls something out of the mini-fridge for you. a pedialyte in your favorite flavor and some pain relievers. 

“thank you,” you sigh to your roommates, feeling your head pound as you sit up and start to chug, swearing off college parties for the rest of your years.

“can’t take credit. your jock left them for you this morning,” belle informs you, a teasing grin.

“oh god, megan,” you wince, recalling your behavior from the night before. 

“she wouldn’t go away,” minji complains. “not until i texted her a picture of me in your bed so she knew i was there.”

“she does the same thing when i walk home with y/n from their study dates.” belle says.  “just watches us from the doorway until we can’t see her any more.”

“y/n adopted a stray,” minji teases.

“if you say some shit about a bleeding heart, i’ll throw up in your bed specifically,” you threaten belle, and your roommates laugh at you as you let out another groan. you figure skipping class for the first time all semester won’t kill you as you lay back down.

-

after skipping all your classes, you’re at a table in the dining hall, meal untouched, your focus instead on trying to draft a text to megan that even begins to fix the mess you left behind last night. you’ve been at the same table for at least an hour, trying to figure out how to even start.

“hey, y/ln.” you recognize the voice as dani’s, calling out from behind your booth. “can’t hang?”

“leave her alone, dani.” the voice makes you freeze in place. you didn’t even get a chance to send your text.

“we missed you last night for spin the bottle,” dani grins. “meg had to get it on with that cheerleader.”

despite all the work you did last night to remember megan’s allowed to do what she wants, your stomach drops at dani’s reveal. 

“yeah, okay, go away,” megan groans, shooing the blonde. dani complies, and megan sits so you’re alone in the booth together, side by side. she rests her head in her hand on the table. “so…”

“i’m really sorry about all i put you through last night,” you immediately start, feeling the regret press in your ribs.

“you don’t have to be,” she tells you softly, head shaking.

“no, i am.” you insist, realizing how stupid it was of you to think anything would ever come of this. megan doesn’t see you as anything but a tutor, a familiar face at best who she’ll leave behind as soon as she makes it big. “i got so caught up. in the game, the party, the celebration.”

“oh. um, yeah?” she asks quietly.

“you’re not a hockey star to me. you’re just megan.” you furrow your brows. “i’m sorry again for all that.”

you were hoping it would clear things up. but it’s like a cloud comes over megan, her gaze hard and more importantly, avoiding yours.

“no yeah, totally,” she wrinkles her nose, eyes clamping shut. you wonder what’s coming over her and panic that you’ve done something you can’t take back. you try to pivot away quickly.

“your game’s tonight, right?” you ask, but she’s already getting up from the table, gathering her bookbag in her hand.

“megan?” you check in.

“yeah, don’t worry about coming,” she tells you, shaking her head. “i know it’s not your thing.”

and before you can utter a single word more, she’s gone.

-

you take a couple of hours to try to do homework in the library, but you couldn’t possibly focus. not with megan’s final expression haunting you, the pained scrunch of her nose, her inability to bring herself to look at you. you have a tab open to a youtube livestream of the game that you can’t seem to draw your eyes away from.

“you look constipated,” minji says plainly as you get back to the dorm. 

“you are such a-” you stop yourself. you’re not angry at minji, you’re angry at yourself. no need to take out a civilian in the crossfire. you suck in a deep breath and try again. “minji, please be nice to me for once. i’m having a shit day.”

“cheer up.” she says so devoid of emotion, you wonder if she was dropped as a baby. but then she’s handing you a card, in handwriting familiar to you but definitely not minji’s own. “your puppy dog gave this to me when we got coffee.”

your eyes nearly bug out of your head. “you got coffee together? today? since when do you hang out?”

“when you were passed out this morning. and i said she was determined, not that i didn’t like her.” you’ll never understand how this girl’s brain works. “anyways, letter, for you.”

you want to ask so many more questions, but a lightbulb goes off as you try to think about the web of connections at this university. 

“and your friendship has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been admiring her roommate from afar with absolutely zero rizz to approach her with? are you trying to have her put in a good word?”

you would pay to watch minji’s demeanor crack like this again. 

“wah, shut up. you spread lies on my good name.” she shakes her head furiously, but nothing ever triggers minji, so you know you’ve hit a soft spot when she gets this worked up. “megan is…”

“the closest you’re ever going to get to danielle marsh,” you burst out laughing. 

“shut up and read your letter.”

you open the envelope and a ticket falls out. today’s date, 7pm, the championship game at your university ice arena. 

y/n. i wrote this by hand and took my time. thank you for everything this semester. i think meeting you was my favorite part of this year. i’m grateful you saw me, the way you really saw me. hope that makes sense. hanging out with you felt like being a book that someone finally took off the shelf and opened up. hope to see you at my big game. i saved you a seat by the box, so you can help me study in between plays.

 – megan

ps. just kidding about the studying thing, don’t you dare bring a book into my sacred space. anyways, thanks again.

“minji, i think i fucked up,” you breathe quietly. how unfair to keep judging megan when this whole time, she’s shown you exactly who she is. was it easier to say megan was this or that in order to soothe your own confused feelings? who did it ultimately hurt in the end? 

“what would belle say?” the girl asks. “go bleed your heart out or whatever.”

you don’t correct her. it’s honestly the perfect advice. 

you check your phone and see the game is at halftime, and they’re down 0-2. the stadium is on the other side of campus, but you remember megan’s words from the party. she doesn’t even try to let herself feel upset the week of a game, and there you are on the night of her team’s championship game, being the worst friend possible to her.

your heart races, then aches. you have to make this right, the sooner the better. you order an uber and pray this is the right call.

you race into the stadium and realize it’s absolutely packed with thousands of people, and thunderously loud. it looks like a professional stadium, even at the college level. the game is tied now, 2-2, but you remember enough of what megan’s told you to recognize that they’ve gone into overtime. next to score wins.

you stumble hurriedly down the steps before you make it to the front row. just as the note said, there’s an open seat directly in front of the player box. you see the flash of ginger hair from under a helmet, hunched over on the bench as she watches the play, clearly nervous. you lock your gaze on her and run up to the plexiglass wall. 

there’s a tiny slot in the glass, usually where the players hand a dead puck or a broken stick through the slot to an eager fan, but you’re too desperate to get a hold of megan that you yell to her through it, hoping she can hear you over all the noise.

“megan!”

she looks around confusedly, before turning around to see you against the glass. 

“y/n?”

“you deserve so much more than an apology, but i can at least start with saying i’m sorry,” you know the confession is terrible timing wise, but you’ll never live with yourself if you don’t get it off your chest, especially on such an important night for megan. “i’ve been so horrible to you, assuming all the worst, and you’ve been nothing but an angel to me. ugh, i just…i feel so stupid, because i know how this ends, and i don’t want to get hurt, but i feel like i’ll regret it if i don’t say something.”

“how this ends?” you see megan’s brows furrow together underneath her face guard. “y/n, i could never even dream of hurting you.”

“you didn’t want to kiss me,” you remind her, but you don’t want it to feel like a guilt trip. “and that’s okay, i just know that changed a lot and-”

“because you were drunk.” she cuts you off, shaking her head quickly, her nose wrinkling as she clamps her eyes shut. “that’s- it’s just- fuck.”

“what?” you ask, but before you can finish, daniela slams into the player box and leans in towards megan.

“kazuha’s getting killed out there. she needs a stronger center out, coach is gonna put you in,” dani yells over the roar of the crowd, reaching over to grab a fast sip of water. she shoots a look at you, then a warning glare at megan to wrap it up. “30 seconds.”

“y/n—“

30 seconds is all you need. you won’t waste your shot. 

“megan, i really like you. as in, really like you.” you feel the hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you finally hear the words out loud. “as in, i think i’m falling for you, which is so scary. i’m sorry for messing up our friendship. these feelings are way too huge for me to push away. knowing you was amazing and i don’t want you thinking for a second that it wasn’t.”

“skiendiel, in for center. push up and get that puck into that damn net!” coach yells, tapping the back of the ginger’s helmet to get her attention. 

megan gives you a look, your confession hanging in the air, before she leaps over the door and back onto the ice. 

she’s so insanely fast. you don’t have to know hockey to know she’s zipping circles around the other team, their yells of frustration loud and clear as megan swipes in to intercept pass after pass. 

she’s so focused. you watch in awe. 

dani is yelling something to which kazuha nods, dropping her shoulders to book it towards megan. megan uses their proximity to take the pass, running the puck once more up the ice. the defense of the other team are playing dirty, a high stick to the eye immediately taking daniela flat down onto the ice. lara calls for a foul from her spot in the goalie’s box, but the ref didn’t see it, so the play goes on at break-neck speed. 

despite the chaos, megan is locked in to what she needs to do. 

she spits the puck back out in a blazing pass back to kazuha, spinning off an incoming check from another player. she eyes the goal for a split moment, the clock trickling down into its final seconds, before kazuha’s pass is already blasting towards her. 

megan shows no hesitation. she checks a defense into the wall before spinning off, stick lifting into the air to take the most perfect shot off kazuha’s pass. 

your breath catches in your throat as the puck seems to suspend in air, everything going in slow motion. then, your eyes meet, in the middle of it all. 

the goal lights up red just as the buzzer hits. the entire stadium erupts into a deafening roar as you watch megan get swarmed by her entire team. final score 3-2. 

they’re cheering as a team, but you see the flash of ginger hair as a helmet comes off and a body starts skating back towards you. you move to the tunnel, where megan comes off the ice and can finally be face to face with you. she’s breathing heavy, stray hairs clinging to her face through the sweat. 

“i didn’t kiss you that night because i wanted it to be perfect.” megan’s still catching her breath, but she seems desperate to clear her name. you feel frozen in front of her, but she presses on earnestly. “i didn’t want it to be another kiss with a random stranger i’d forget about in a week. i’ve spent too much time thinking about kissing you. i didn’t want it to be anything less than perfect for you.”

“i’m crazy about you, y/n,” she gasps breathlessly, arm wrapping around your waist without hesitation. “i like everything about you. i like you so much it scares me.”

“why didn’t you say anything?” is all you can manage, shaking your head in disbelief. 

“are you serious?” megan lets out a high pitched laugh. “look at you. you’re the most brilliant, incredible, hilarious, kind person i know. i didn’t think i stood a chance. i’m nowhere near cool enough or smart enough to think i was good enough to talk to you, let alone getting to be your friend. it was so worth it to just be your friend. i would have been happy with that forever.”

you feel your head spin. megan thinks all this about you?

“i literally asked you to kiss me,” you press, confused about how it could have been misread.

“i didn’t think you were being weird about me being popular. when you cleared that up, my next thought was that you were pitying me, like how you pity-tutored me.” she confesses. “i overthought and it messed me up. i’m sorry.”

“if you don’t just damn kiss already,” lara barks at you guys as the team starts to trickle off the ice and into the tunnel, daniela grinning teasingly right behind her as she ices her eye. you wince at how bad her eye looks following that high stick, but then you realize what she’s teasing you about. 

you look back at megan, those perfect brown eyes searching for something in yours. you can’t possibly understand how someone who just won her team a national championship can still seem so hesitant. 

“may i?” she tilts her head eagerly. 

“oh my god, asking permission after all that.” you groan and wrap your arms around her neck, head reeling from all that’s just unfolded. “megan, you chivalrous loser, i swear to god.”

she grins something so angelic, you choose to forgive her. 

and the kiss she gives you, gentle yet eager, her arms wrapping around your waist to anchor you in place, is so, so perfect. so insanely worth the wait. 

-

you walk into your 11am intro to british literature class that tuesday, door held open for you by your chivalrous loser. 

sophia’s grading papers at the professor’s desk when eyes drop to your hands (your interlaced, holding-hands-with-megan hands) and smiles at you so giddily, you can’t help but smile back at her just as big. she’s never going to let you live this down. 

dani and lara sit in the row directly behind you guys, hooting and making kissy noises to taunt their younger teammate. you won’t admit how much these idiots have grown on you. 

megan’s arm snakes behind your shoulders as she leans back in her seat next to you. her laptop is already out, open to a new document. you’re so insanely proud of her for her determination. 

you’re too busy admiring her to realize you’re staring, and by the time you’re aware, she’s side-eyeing you. 

“eyes on your own paper, cheater.”

“oh my god, class hasn’t even started yet. you literally haven’t even typed anything.”

her fingers quickly hit the keyboard, a few strokes before she turns the computer to face you. 

i <3 my super cool gf

girlfriend. your heart races at the memory of how you made it official over the weekend after being her date to all the celebratory dinners. you smile and type something back. 

i <3 my dorky sweet gf

megan won’t ever let you catch a break. “oh, so you get to be cool and i’m just a dork again?”

“my dork now,” you remind her. 

“you’re on thin ice,” she rolls her eyes. “you’ll have to take me on a date to make up for it.”

she reaches forward to take your hand in hers, letting them dangle between the desks. you give her hand a gentle squeeze. she peers at you from the corner of her eye, scrunches her nose, and re-focuses on the board as the professor sets up his presentation. 

this stupid letterman jacket you’ve always talked shit about is actually kinda warm. at least, you like it a whole lot better when you’re the one wearing it. 

“i like you so much,” you breathe quietly as the lecture begins.

she smiles eagerly, bringing your hand up to plant a kiss along your knuckles. she’s been so open about her affection for you, you feel like you’re in a dream.

“the guy is trying to teach,” she chastizes you, and you roll your eyes at the change in roles. the way she looks at you tells you she has so, so much to say, and your heart pounds as she focuses back on the lecture. your responsible girl. 

she doesn’t leave you hanging, however, adding a final thought.

 “but yeah, ditto.”

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕲UESS ᝰ! 𝕷ARA RAJ

synopsis: katseye lucked out when their team managed to score a-list celebrity and award-winning actress, y/n l/n to be featured in their upcoming music video for ‘touch’. when the cameras turn off and the doors close, lara feels a little more than just onscreen chemistry with her mv love interest

featuring: billie eilish, yunjin (some lesserafim), dominic fike, rio amor, tyler, the creator, the sturniolo triplets, txt/enhypen mentioned, the raj family, jenna ortega, dylan minette

disclaimers: ariana greenblatt is used as a face claim but ONLY because i used a lot of her pictures for the smau, smau + real life, harsh language, mentions of sexual content, party animal!lara, angst/fluff/slight!nsfw, drinking, smoking

taglist: comment here if you want to be added!

profiles ᝰ! futchseye, drake’s roster

chapters:

01. daniela avanzini: rizziest katseye member?

02. a futch woman with dyed hair

03. pop base is the world’s biggest opp

04. bacardi and brie

05. she has a type for her women, i fear

06. she likes the girls in the band

07. -she says that i’m her all time favourite

08. futch x femme

09. google: what to do when ur ex is besties w ur fake gf?

10. the planned date vs the “save the day” date

11. two sides to every story

12. the date (long chapter + sm at the end)

13. huh

14. all press is good press

15.

more content to be updated soon!

[xdanisgfx]

IRL — daniela avanzini !

synopsis! — secrets are hard to keep when there's something to lose. thing is, both y/n and daniela are hiding something behind their backs, something that, when revealed, can be considered social suicide. or, in which y/n is getting comfortable as the one-and-only spidergirl after two years, and she's gaining a huge fandom. however, her coworker daniela is both her #1 fan and biggest hater, but neither of them knows that. what happens when accidents and coincidences end up revealing both their secrets? what happens when daniela is torn between her long-time celebrity crush and overly annoying coworker?

tags! — smau, spidergirl!reader, nonceleb!au, takes place in summer break, swearing, dirty jokes, kys jokes, violence, crack, joking homophobia (among friends), prolly slow updates, i have no idea what im doing

featuring! — katseye, itzy, le sserafim, txt.

pairing! — daniela avanzini x fem!reader.

status! — on hold - short hiatus while i get my academic shit together! (and also i lost the plot)

taglist! — @meganskiendielsbtc @sunshinez4 @fruityg0rl @wtfisthisnoclueman @winnmin @1luvkarina @peanutbutterlover05 @hiraizyo @kristalag @haerinkisser @zindoriyo @bandaidss320 @xochitlisbest @leotapes @yeetaberry127 @urmom2314@7purinzer @mei2yok

comment, dm, or send an ask to be added!

profiles! — 6 baddies 🥵 pt. 2 spidergirl fan club 🗣️📢 other

chapters! —

00 prologue (half-written)

01 overgrown ipad kid

02 call in sick

03 saving grace lara raj

04 homotron 3000

05 everybody wants to jump y/n

06 who tf is this

07 megan = #1 opp

08 she promised

09 y/n has a type?

10 love makes me blind

11 YOU DONT EVEN WANT HER

12 dating scandal

13 withdrawals

14 she likes me

15 make her like me challenge

16 limited edition

17 chat is this rizz

18 banana bread

19 followed and dated

20 lara did something (and y/n too)

21 lara did something (and y/n too) pt. 2

22 spilled tea and new bestie

23 "personal reasons"

24 prophetic tingle pull bs

25 all good again (half-written)

26 left hanging

divs by: @/cafekitsune

[lara4eclipze]

Santa Baby

sypnosis » lara has liked you for the longest time , as christmas approach she suddenly had this burst of confidence to finally make the move

warnings » fluff, tinge of smut , swearing , big back, kys/kms jokes , college , confession , mutual pining , suggestive jokes ,jealousy, really slow updates

the goodlist || santa's elves

01 - cookies

02 - mama a girl behind you

03 - ho is you coo?

04 - freaky ahh

05 - under the mistletoe (written)

06 - homo

07 - i luv my gf

08 - blocked?

09 - holding space

10 - STRAIGHT? (semi-written)

11 - guess

12 - are u with us rn..

13 - zoo wee (written)

14 - sober

15 - jelous (written)

16 - what are we?

17 - FUMBLED (written)

18 - pandesal

19 - lunch (smut!!!!!!)

20 - the end

1 - bonus chapter

2 - bonus chapter

taglist (open) : @artrizzler19 @sixflame438 @c-yerim @lmaoursickbro @meganskiendielsbtc @hwonnrinji @ohmyhaely @d1spact @yeetaberry127 @vrtualstar @goofymickeyr @kathleenmikaelson @fearnotfearmore @yazzyminny @firstclassjaylee

[ridingtorohan]

How the shifters react to you having a high body temp, knowing that it represents your platonic/romantic attraction to them

Goofy headcanon time!

Each titan shifter can recognize how another shifter feels about them based on their body heat. This includes all attraction: familial, platonic, aesthetic, romantic, so on.

SPOILERS for shifter identities AND events up to Season 4 Special Literally everyone has some spoilers for the anime to some extent. Older shifters like Kruger and KSaver is excluded, but there's 11 listed. It's in order from oldest to youngest.

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ZEKE YEAGER

He feels it for a second, when your knuckles brush against his wounded shoulder, fastening his restraints tighter, making sure he's secure while transporting him out of Marley on the blimp

Blue eyes darting to you, tracing the features on your face, lingering for a second on the titan marks beneath your eyes

Then he focuses on the task at hand, filing that away for later

He has a lot of time to stew on it, the simmering heat under your touch. Low but steady. Lucky for you! You're assigned to his guard detail in the forest with Captain Levi

Shifter to shifter, you're able to relate on a different level than he does to Levi.

Also makes note how you drop to ice cold when the horrors of Shiganshina. Probably realizes that's where you snagged yourself a titan ability.

Listen... if you saw him coming out of the Beast........... you're smoking, iykyk?

Because he's a little shit, he uses it to his advantage. Makes full eye contact with you during conversations, leaning forward. Which makes it interesting when you or Levi nip off his arms to restrain him and you have to give him a drink.

Leans in nice and slow, eyes staring directly into yours, letting you watch him as he takes a long, slow sip. Licks his lips, knowing you're watching him, leans back, eyes lidded. "Thank you, I was terribly thirsty"

Levi kicks his teeth in

Lord have mercy on you for when it's time to bathe

He literally will always use it to his advantage if you let him but will never clue you in unless you already know

Zeke will tease you about this, pressing a cigarette to his lips, his arm or leg brushing yours. "Are you cold? I can help you feel warmer" (Levi is murdering him with his eyes in the background)

Y'know maybe he does warm you up later 😏

Probably starts warming up to you shortly before his jailbreak, though it's hard to tell in what way.

After this point, it's a little too late to do anything else about it.

LARA TYBUR

Bro you hardly even realize that she's a titan at first.

As a titan inheritor, the Marley Gov't requires that you and your fellows play nice with the Tybur family whenever they visit.

She's tepid temperature at first, your thoughts and ideas making you a little colder to the touch.

You brush against each other at some fancy schmancy dinner party. She act very much like an Eldian at the party, silent, refilling your cup and you thank her.

Later, you're just feeling soo awkward with her family, with watching Willy dance around his family, laughing and jesting.

Some of the Warriors keep trying to make guesses as to who the Warhammer is but ultimately you don't figure it out

You try your luck at befriending all of them, painfully aware of Willy's eyes on you every time you talk to his sister

But something about Lara keeps drawing you in. Her quiet demeanour, the sleek attire, her proper figure. Dutiful and classy, voice quiet but confident.

Telling her about books and the latest movie, offering tea and biscuits from your Zone whenever you visit.

She never says anything about your body temperature and honestly you don't touch her often enough to notice a difference

But you do notice that she talks to you a little more, lingers by your side more than she does anyone else

During the attack, you do everything you can to defend her crystal - so painfully, carefully aware of how it burns under your titan's hand

REINER BRAUN

Sorry, he's made to suffer. Nothing in his life is ever easy. Isayama decided that. (And so did I.) (There's a happy ending, I promise.)

Things would be simpler for Reiner if everything went well, if he became a great warrior, if his father noticed him, if he did well on his missions. The first thing that goes wrong is Marcel.

When he meets you for the first time, a memory tickles at his mind. Something familiar in the way your skin touches his. Then he gives you a smile, introducing himself and Bertholdt.

Something about you always drew him in. He'd watch you across the training yard and smile whenever you looked at him. Always glad to help you out, shedding himself of the warrior skin and so much easier into the soldier one.

Sucks as a sparring partner btw. Always checking to make sure he didn't go too hard on you.

At some point you probably made mention of him working up a sweat during the training. His body temp is not much warmer than normal but noticeable. Everyone in the Cadets is his pal but there's something special about you

You, who feels like they've had a bit too much sun, but still comfortable.

With time, it may increase to a warmth that lingers in his bones, reminding him of his mother's teas and fresh bread.

He really likes wrapping his arms around you for this, a big bear who just holds you tight to his chest. Big squish!

Likes to clap his hands to your shoulders from behind, feel your warmth in his hands

If you are this warm, he'll always do a little start when you touch him, caught off guard. With as often as he's thought about you, he'll become a bit flustered at times - he begins to entertain a crush and/or getting to know you better.

However, a part of Reiner always remains..... apprehensive

Lays awake at night wondering about you, your tale of being orphaned, family long dead. Something not quite settling

This is what stops him from actually getting close-close to you

At Utgard Castle, it's obvious why something niggled inside him at the sight of you. Because one day, when his dreams were shattered by a boy, a titan lunged out of the ground. That's how you inherited the Jaw

It explains everything, in the end. He may not have recognized that you were a fellow shifter but he did recognize the body heat

You, unfortunately, are either kidnapped or agree to go along with Reiner and Bertholdt in the forest.

You are, either, an unfortunate soul cast out of Marley or a former warrior candidate who was cast out alongside your family thanks to Zeke's efforts years prior. If the latter, Reiner does mention it to Zeke in hopes of him sparing you because, technically, you are on "their" side. It's not a positive outlook either way.

Knowing your fate in Marley, Reiner spends time with you. Painfully aware of how broken his betrayal meant to you (if you're colder) or how you still believe in him (if you remain the same/increase)

Above all else, Reiner considers you a friend and he's so sorry.

If, by sheer chance, he leaves you unsupervised or your chains a little loose to "let your blood circulate" and you accidentally escape, he won't be upset.

And if, he saw you, years later, doing recon work in Marley.. and your eyes caught, he would make the conscious choice to turn away.

Marcel may have been his first mistake but he doesn't regret these two.

Very awkward when you join forces with him to take down Eren.

Reiner remembers the last time he saw you, what your touch felt like.

But the thing about Reiner isn't that his soldier personality was a persona - it's still him. He still cares for you. At this point you know what the touch means, can't blame it on the campfires. You may or may not have trusted him before but you trust him now.

Your hand slides in his, reminiscent of your first meeting, letting him know. "I trust you, Reiner. We'll work with you"

He'll still be withdrawn from the Paradis group but ... his feelings about you never really stopped. Time, distance and circumstance may have changed it, but never stopping it.

He thinks of your touch, even now, even during the final fight.

And, when everything is said and done, when the titan blood doesn't linger in either of your veins, Reiner knows how you feel by the look in your eyes.

BERTHOLDT HOOVER

Whatever you do, do NOT think about Bertholdt touching a non-Marleyan shifter after he escapes beyond the walls. Do NOT think about your touch burning under his, with Bert pleading for Zeke's mercy. Because despite everything, you still thought so highly of him.

Real talk: THIS GUY IS THE REASON YOU BECAME A TITAN SHIFTER

Unfortunately, despite being a fellow warrior candidate, you weren't chosen. Your score was a smidge below what they were looking for.

Bert was one the first to shift. In the practice field where this is done, he, unfortunately, steamed the heck out of you. Bad enough that it was a matter of getting medical attention asap. Fortunately, thanks to your score, the generals decided that you would be swapped out with one of the candidates and inherit a titan!

This is Bertholdt's first memory as a titan, by the way. :) He feels beyond terrible for what happened.

But having grown up together, helped each other through the trials and training... you two wind up being friends. Decently close, because he winds up telling you about his family, what he's doing for his father.

Bert looks up to you a lot. Always staying by your bedside when you got injured, kept a Band-Aid in his pocket for whenever you tripped during the training. (Or if he does. As gangly-limbed as that boy was, that happened often too.)

He knows but also doesn't about the significance of the warmer touches. It was probably one of those tidbits that was filed away for later and then forgotten. It doesn't matter when you're in bed injured and recovering from the heat damage he literally inflicted on you.

Super caring. Always having to talk both of you out of trouble when you wind up in it. But Bertholdt finds himself admiring that anyway, how different you are to him. (He's actually so thankful that you're a warrior with him, even if this was the worst way for it to happen.)

The other warriors clue in that you two are close but don't really comment on it. "Good for them" stance.

Bertholdt likes sitting next to you! Thighs brushing, his leg touching yours. Just small intimate moments that mean the world to him.

Then Marcel gets attacked and all Bertholdt can think about is 'thank god it wasn't you'. He'll stay wide awake watching you sleep at night, only nodding off when/if you let him sleep beside you, his palm on yours.

During training, Bertholdt finds a lot of comfort by sleeping next to you. Even if he ends up sprawled all over your body.

Thing is, Bertholdt doesn't really quite piece together the heat thing. Just knows that you're his, in some shape or form, that you're what's making this mission bearable. He doesn't miss Marley, he just misses you whenever you're not around.

Gets fidgety if you elect to join a different faction from him. But he understands. (But when you walk past him during the scouts enlistment, his hand catches yours for just a moment. Just for this. Because no matter what you mean to him, he wants you to stay.)

Fake dating trope because how else are you supposed to inform Bertholdt about the information you gathered while in the interior?

Everybody believes the ruse lmao

And, the thing with him is, there always feels like there's going to be more time. Sitting at tables, talking about your days. Reminiscing about Marley and campfires.. it's easy to think that you'll get those days back. That it's just another year, another season, another "one more time" before you get to go home.

For Bert, his feelings are... kind of a catch-all. Could be inferred as romantic or platonic. All he knows is that you're the most important person to him. He's just so glad that he gets to spend your thirteen years together.

And, when the mission goes wrong, when the attempts to kidnap Eren go awry and he has to pull your battered body from your titan, Bertholdt is right by your side, as he always is. There's always going to be another attempt, another chance. (Until there isn't.)

Bertholdt feels like home, his hand warm in yours. (He wants to keep coming back to you.)

Maybe those three simple words are whispered, right before it all goes to shit and you're captured/immobilized and Bertholdt grows desperate to get you back. Maybe you two never say them at all. But when it's just you two, the moments feel like they last forever.

(But you do. You know you have to talk about what this means for both of you, even if it meant defining your friendship in a different way. And he'll stutter and stumble over his words but listen intently, knowing that nothing is worth the cost of losing you. And he's secretly so relieved that you feel the same way, no matter what form your affection takes shape as.)

Bertholdt will cherish your friendship for as long as he lives.

PIECK FINGER

Whoo! Titan! Bes - ties!

Warrior trainees together, it totally sucked when you were passed over and Pieck inherited without you. She's pretty chill about everything, walking down the street with you while holding hands, throwing her arms around you constantly. Letting you ride atop her titan's back while she runs around the airfield.

Consider your relationship with her a mix of her squad and Porco

Legit you both are close before you even get a chance to inherit your titan, which you do! Eventually!

She's honestly not that great at explaining how titan shifting works or how to "focus" and "control" it but she'll help you get your bearings by walking around with you in titan form

Her body heat is like a heated blanket, warm and comfortable, ooey gooey melting cookie in your mouth kind of warm.

If you're ever on a long trek together, it's easy to doze off next to her, backs pressed together or her head in your lap.

Honestly she probably doesn't even think to mention how you feel to her, or acknowledge what it means. Pieck is happy with everything you are, how it feels with you.

actually tbh might comment about it everytime she springs a hug on you

"Incoming hug! Ahh... this is nice. you're so warm😊"

Your warmth is so comfortable to her. She's often nuzzling against you.

Honestly you guys would be borderline romantic, even if one/neither of you felt that way. It's just how you two are.

If you do cheek kisses, she'd be all up for that.

If you're romantically attracted to her, it'd be a seamless transition. Like you could invite her somewhere and mention it's a date and she'd just go "oh yay :)".

Otherwise at some point someone comments about how you two are always together on outings (calling them 'dates') and Pieck just goes "yes. :)" then later when it's just you two, "it really does feel like a date sometimes, doesn't it?"

Definitely respects it if you're not interested in her that way + just think of her as a sister or best friend. She won't change how she interacts with you at all (unless you mention that it makes you uncomfortable)

ANNIE LEONHARDT

A year (or a few) older than her, your family has warrior heritage; it’s a point of prestige and honour for you, moreso than for normal candidates. You have an expectation and responsibility to your ancestors to follow through. Of course you’d get a titan. Especially the one your family has meticulously trained for again and again; it’s not so much about the high esteem but keeping it in the family. Inheriting their memories. (For giggles, imagine it’s the attack or female titan.)

By the time Annie and the other warriors are partway through their training, you’ve all but confirmed your spot. It’s just a matter of establishing which one you’ll get.

You’re not exactly friends with Annie initially, especially with her aloof nature. But she’s companionable, sitting quietly if you ever approach her. Everything about her at the start is like that - withdrawn, solemn. Just as focused on her duty as you are. Either you find companionship over this fact or in spite of it - finding life worth living outside of being a candidate.

When you’re recovering from your inheritance, Annie is the one to tend to you. While you don’t remember a lot of it, amnesia getting the better of you, you’re almost certain that she was holding you.

Annie often watches as you continue your training, especially as a titan. She’ll gladly train in titan hand to hand combat with you once she inherits the female titan.

All the shifters are given books to learn about how to best utilize their titans. As they’re leafed through, it’ll mention the odd quirk of the shifters. Pieck is the most excited for this, followed by Reiner. It becomes a point of conversation, where everyone compares their temperatures - though Annie is quite reserved about the whole ordeal. She takes pity on Bertholdt who feels hot to her touch, though she does throw him under the ringer. You, though? She says not much at all, calling it quits at that point (if she hasn’t already).

She doesn't make a big deal of it at all, merely treating you like another candidate. One that she gets along with better than anyone else, at any rate.

In the group, you're dubbed "Annie's best friend". If Annie ever hears of this, you never know.

When it's time to leave for the wall, her knuckles brush against yours. The only indication that she's restless and has any qualms about what they're doing.

But as children honed for war, sometimes rivalries are hard to beat. Especially when the first tragedy strikes your group and Reiner takes the lead, leading you to wall. To mayhem. Murder is a different burden to bear, one that sits funny in your throat.

She sits with you at the refugee camps. While you've never seen her grab extra portions of food, she always seems to have some for you. She takes care of you (and you remember your first shift, how she had been the one to hold you).

Joining the Police is the only sane decision, the inner network so much like Marley. So much like home. You're relieved when Annie goes with you, even though you think it was for duty. (You never know if it was.)

Hitch gets added to the short list of Annie's friends. But nobody replaces you, nobody knows her as well as you do. You know each other's mood, the subtle raise of her brow or scrunch of her nose.

She takes her duty seriously - but she takes you seriously too.

You're the only comfort from home she has.

In the forest after she's hacked up by Levi, you're the one to grab her. To take her back, tending to her as she's cared for you so many times.

Unfortunately your close bond makes it easier to seek you out as a titan. Easier to goad you into advancing attacks, to defending her honour from horrors Armin promises she's enduring.

For you, Annie felt like home more than Marley ever had. Siblings, best friends, lovers. Whatever you felt for her, it was strong.

If you get a chance to see her chrystalized, you touch it desperately, trying to feel a sense of life inside. And you feel it, an echoing thrum beneath your hand.

She mentions it, later, when you two are alone on the ship. "I don't remember what you said, but I felt you." (She always has.)

And when you both go to fight Eren, fighting for something you want so desperately to keep now, you feel her knuckles brush against yours like they did so long ago. When you two were sworn to duty, marching to the walls. This time, you take her hand and never let go.

If you both survive this, she'll show you exactly how much you mean to her.

YMIR

100000% figured out you were a titan shifter because of this.

Her memories of the castle are hazy at best; initially she only remembers the heat and fog, the truth of Christa's real name.

While she knows quite a bit about her titan and its abilities, she doesn't know anything useful. The body heat memories? She knows it. Knows how her previous shifter learned about it, knows how he felt about his comrades.

She's hardly had reason to touch you before this, but like she figured out Reiner in the castle (they touched briefly) she also knows who you are. Knows the truth of your Marleyan roots.

Like Annie, you had been more distant from the group and more independent - you weren't as easily found out compared to them. At that point, it was only Ymir who really knew. Go, you. Clap yourself on the back for a job well done.

As well as you'd hide your identity, unfortunately the capture must take precedence. With Annie compromised, Reiner and Bertholdt outed, you have no choice but to pick up their slack.

Eren is fucking pissed that you're a titan and regardless of your involvement with the walls breaking, often voices his displeasure towards you loudly.

Ymir saw it coming so she takes it in stride and is dismissive towards you. You two really don't get a chance to speak, not until she's back in Marley and that's all that's left for her. Stone walls and iron bars, her complacency and feeling like a debt is owed is what keeps her there.

You sit with her most days, where she eventually opens up about the cadets. That's not to say you're best friends, but she's not dense enough not to take advantage of how you feel about her.

Listen, if you're not a woman, you stand no chance. If you are, she might confess her feelings towards Christa, how Christa helped her change as a person, how she felt like she could be herself.

How she could be herself around you, too.

While Ymir was never as buddy-buddy with you as she had been Christa, she had often roped you into being indebted to her, owing her favours one way or another.

She's back to her usual tirade even while imprisoned, using those unreturned favours to charter better meals or pen and papers. Most days you watch her write, rewrite, try to figure out what she wants to pen to Christa. Ultimately she writes her final draft with Reiner and leaves it in his possession.

Ymir is never quite hostile towards you, not when she learns of your service to your country, to the threat you thought Paradis posed. To the family and people you swore to protect. She understood it. Perhaps better than anyone bar Marcel.

You get a chance to touch her sometimes, changing the irons or giving her new clothes or meals.

There was a time when you were closer, as cadets. When she'd sling an arm over your shoulder, teasing about something or other. That's what it mostly was, her goading you into some tasks for her or taking the fall for things.

Back then, she used how you felt about her against you.

Unfortunately, facing death, she's mellow and more withdrawn. You don't learn much of anything during this time, not verbally anyway. But you learn about what kind of person she was, what role she had before.

And she asks for you to be there when she's eaten. Not directly, but something Reiner tells you later. When he's telling you that you've spoken more to her than she has, that she had tolerated your presence better, that you were the only Marleyan that she looked forward to seeing.

And when you go through her cell later, rifling through what meagre possessions she had, you find a letter addressed to you, hidden beneath leaflets of messy unfinished letters. Thanking you for not treating her as a monster, for not using Christa against her like Bertholdt had. That if she had a choice, she'd want you to inherit the jaw solely for your friendship with your fellow cadets and Christa.

She writes of other things too, little things she noticed about you, tips on how to get better at hiding or hitting. Advice on to living for yourself and not under the charade of the Marleyan government.

There's scrawled out ink, too, of things that she crossed out. She writes in that familiar, knowledgeable but closed off way that she does. In those sentences, under candle light, you can make out her thoughts on the heat exchange, moments from your cadet days. Once, what she would've done if you both had stayed on Paradis. Even a list of favours that she wanted to bank on, teasing remarks written in margins of paper and belittling comments that felt only praising coming from her.

Strange, how you only know her better in death, where you can no longer speak to her and hear the words left unsaid.

PORCO GALLIARD

the biggest baddest boldest guy who will LATCH ONTO YOU SO FAST MAN. I'm half joking

But he zeroes in the second your temperature spikes whenever you touch him. Turns his head towards you, gesture a little quick, eyes watching you, half-lidded. Aware, aware, aware of what this means

He's always always watching you after this, smirking softly to himself, just nodding along

You're so lucky he feels the same way because otherwise he'd just wrinkle his nose and turn his head away, "ew, you're hot" like the turd he is /affectionate.

Once he notices, Porco will always be hovering over you, in your personal space, raising his eyebrows and smirking when you turn around and bump into him. Gtfo Porco. Always casual about leaning against you, your arms brushing.

Porco doesn't really do cuddling but he'll be annoying about this, lightly touching. all. the. time.

Porco knows what it means. And if you don't say anything about it, he will. Just casually drops the fact about shifter body heat before shoving his hands and walking off casually. Leaving you guessing about his intentions.

Eventually it culminates in frustration because this smug mf won't tell you JACK.

Honestly you're going to have to confront him about this at some point unless one of the others point out the weird dance you two are doing.

(If you get frustrated with him enough that it affects your temp towards him, he'll knock it back so fast. Rubber banding it like a pro. He may be a dick but once it's clear he's making you uncomfortable he'll back off.)

Raises his eyebrows, leaning back. "You know what it means, don't you?" All smug. Leading into him talking about his own temperature, "Well, what do you think it means?" Literally makes you guess about how he feels about you. If you guess romantic, he'll lean his arm up against the wall, getting close to your face, eyes half-lidded. "Yeah."

Free boyfriend.

If you don't do teasing, he'll be more upfront. “You know what it means.” He's reciprocal so even if he didn’t romantically like you if you guess boyfriend, he’ll be like “yeah”.

Again, free boyfriend.

If you're strictly platonic, he'll do a little sigh, expression smoothing and go, “You're my best friend, dumbass.”

Free best friend.

Will become the bitchiest bitch to ever bitch if your temperature ever lowers.

Possessive possessive possessive. Competitive af. “Well, the other shifters don't feel hotter than I do, do they?" Glowers and sulks if anyone teases that your touch feels scorching hot to them.

Other than these instances, he actually NEVER mentions your temp or asks how you feel when he touches you. Would listen intently if you ever decide to describe in detail what his body temp feels to you.

Gets super smug if you mention it in front of the others.

EREN YEAGER

Sorry, there's no happy way this can end at all. :(

Eren straight up does not know about the heat thing until he inherits the attack titan's full memories.

But he's always kind of ... known in a way too. Every time your hands slap together or you pull each other out of danger, he feels it. The warmth lingering under your skin.

Grisha learned it during his studies with Zeke and Eren inherited that memory. Eren remembers then forgets in that same instant when he inherits his titan as a kid. So he knows, by pure instinct, that it's good. It feels right

He emotionally warms up to you more because of this.

Does not get touchy feely over this, although his hands often linger a little longer on you

There's two paths here. One where you're a Marleyan warrior and one where you inherit it after (jaw or in Shiganshina).

As a warrior, your betrayals burns worse than anything else. He's always suspected Reiner because of his cold+hot flashes but you? You who always burned like a star under his fingertips, who sent a wave of comfort through him?

It stings like nothing else has ever before.

It stings when he's in Marley, bandage to his face and leg, watching the people walk past.

He either waits for you purposefully or has Falco grab you a day/hours before the Marley exhibit. (Conveniently, this would be when Reiner is busy and he has an excuse to talk to Reiner later)

Or you come along with Reiner

It's such a small moment, in the end. His palm meeting yours, or your shoulders touching when you pass him by.

But it's a supernova, lit under his touch. And it settles the idea inside him that Marley and Paradis are the same, that there are people he cares for both in and outside the walls.

As a non-Marleyan, in the end, it doesn't change anything. He's still Eren and you're still you. Despite everything.

He's like a comet when he touches you later, after the rescue from Marley. Even when his knuckles are bruised from Armin's bones, when there's a fire in his eyes and death on his lips

But he's still Eren and you're still you.

And there's never enough time

(There's a memory that you only get later, after Everything. Where you sit together, toes on the beach, shoulder to shoulder. Where his skin is warmer than the sands. Where he tells you in what way he thinks about you. Where he asks you about yours and you answer. And you will remember this with a heat in your throat knowing that you'll never feel his touch again)

ARMIN ARLERT

I'm absolutely losing it just thinking about going to a sauna with Armin and after he finds out about the body heat thing he accidentally exclaims, "wait why'd you gET COLDER?" (if you do it's def because you went through the mental gymnastics of respecting his body and not getting thorsty)

He honestly didn't even realize there's a difference between normal people vs shifters because he actually hasn't touched the Warriors trio a lot prior to his shifting (so he has no baseline to compare it to). And Eren always ran hot

He really only clues in when he notices that your body temperate is a lot higher than normal and he freaks out a little, thinking you have a fever. Except everyone else assures him that no, you feel perfectly fine to them, what are you on about Armin??

Hange knows jack all about it; it's not a normal titan feature. Armin eventually has to ask Eren, Zeke or Annie about it directly

Gets flustered and comforted by the realization that you care so deeply for him. If you run crazy hot then it'll be like making him face his fear of fire (rip Armin)

If you don't know what the body temp means, he'll be all too glad to inform you! He won't ask you what temperature you feel his touches at BUT would be all too willing to test what influences the increase/decrease!

Turns super red if the experiments get a little too handsy and you both feel each other's temperatures spike

He's actually super touchy feely! Always reaching for you, giving you lingering hugs or brushing at your clothes/hair. He'll take your hand when its just you two, thumb stroking over the skin, basking in your warmth.

Will cuddle if you let him/ask him. Absolutely adores it. Always happy to indulge

If you're crushing on him, this is the thing that tips Armin off! He's so studious and acutely aware of each minute change so he notices when you get a little warmer, esp if you're reacting to him grabbing your arm or brushing something from your cheek

Probably noticed how you act around him too

If you're not crushing on him the it's just an awkward fiasco BECAUSE:

He confronts you about this. You're both just sitting down somewhere, him across from you, knees drawn up as you're talking or enjoying the silence. Eyes downcast as he brings up, "Do you have... feelings for me?" Voice soft, skin even hotter than his tomato red face. He takes your hands in his and looks up at you earnestly, "this is how I feel about you", letting you feel his emotions

In the case that Armin thinks of you strongly as a friend/ally only, he'll let you down gently. By directly referencing his newfound knowledge. Purposefully going "It's interesting that we can tell so much about the other person when you touch them like this" and he grabs your hand, looking right up into your eyes, smiling gently, "Like this. See? You'll always be my best friend" Emphasis on 'always' and 'best friend'. #friendzoned #ripyou

FALCO GRICE

Sunshine baby, baby boy, my literal son in another universe

He's always holding your hand. You're so cool! A warrior who trained with Reiner, he looks up to you immensely, although your term being close to being up stresses him TF out about Gabi

Listen, you're stuck with little brother Falco who always follows you around, tugging on your sleeve or running off on errands for you. Give him the time of day and you'll have a new dog. I mean child

If you're close to Reiner at all he'll latch on even harder. You're both his parental figures, although he gets so flustered if anyone mentions it.

He's deadset on inheriting the Armour but if you have the choice of who you can give yours to and you pick him, he's gonna cry.

He doesn't remember a lot about his first shift or the events surrounding it, except the smell of burnt flesh and fire in his arms. If you touch him at all when he immediately comes out of his titan, he'll dissolve into hysterics, crying without knowing why, because your touch reminds him immediately of the memory he's almost forgetting

Fortunately, he does forget

When you finally get to touch him after the amnesia period is over, Falco absolutely melts in your arms. Also immediately cries. Because he does know what this means, has studied this in his books, knows it from Porco's memories. Sobs and wails in your arms, feeling so secure and loved. Because you love him and you care for him. After everything he's been through, he needs this

Hugs you so, so tight every chance he gets, getting red-faced whenever Gabi teases him. Hovers by your side a lot, knowing everything will keep being okay so long as he can feel your warmth.

Always touching you, probably gets a little anxious when you leave him alone but eventually comes around.

For the kiddos out there who are crushing on my son, I raise a counter scenario. Just for you. You're now my child-in-law

Training together!! Yay!!

Your grades will vary, though you're definitely behind Gabi on the roster. Sorry, I do make the rules.

Falco excitedly told you about body heat when he read about it in a book!! You two excitedly try to figure out how you'd feel to each other.

Unfortunately, this is about the time he gets a crush on you. So Falco gets so flustered the next time you mention it to him and he ends up blurting that he hopes he never finds out what temperature you'd feel like to him.

Wants to protect you forever and ever, taking a similar route that he does with Gabi in canon.

You became shifters together! Terrible news!

Except when you're both pulled from the napes of your titans. When you have to ride with Connie, forgetting everything except the press of his hand in yours.

Falco may not remember the meaning behind the warmth but knows that it's good, that he can trust you.

Once his memories come back, avoids you to high heavens because he is so acutely aware of the flipside of this scenario. That you can feel how hot he burns because of his crush. He doesn't even think about what your hot touch means for him

You have to chase him down.

Keeps making excuses until you almost fight him trying to get him to settle.

He's definitely heartbroken if you tell him you only see him as a brother/best friend. Probably gets teary eyed and red-faced but accepts it before running off. He'll stop avoiding you after this.

Gets so red if you tell him you romantically like him too.

After the confession or when he's calmed down from the rejection, he comes back around. He's pretty constant at your side and will hold your hand if you let him, reassured by your warmth.

No matter what happens, at least you have each other.

[authortelevision]

arthur frederick and the new producer: chapter 1 ₊˚⊹♡

words: 3,192 ✦ .ᐟ

♯┆arthurtv slow burn, bach and arthur podcast

after lara leaves bach and arthur’s podcast, you become her replacement. after discovering that arthur hates change, it takes a lot for him to warm up to you and become friends. it also takes a lot for him to admit how he truly feels about you.

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Chapter One ₊˚⊹♡

The building doesn’t exactly scream “successful podcast studio.” It surprisingly has a weathered brick exterior and rusted door number that makes you double-check the address on your phone. But this is it, according to the email, Bach & Arthur Podcast – Recording Studio 2.

You try the handle. Locked. After fishing through your bag, you find the key they sent you and slide it into the lock. It groans in protest, but after a sharp twist, the door swings open, revealing a narrow staircase that smells faintly of food.

The email didn’t mention a receptionist or anyone to meet you. It had, however, been clear about the time, 11 am. You’re determined not to be late on your first day.

At the top of the stairs, two doors face you. One has a taped-up sign reading Bach & Arthur Podcast in Comic Sans. You can’t help but smile to yourself. Professional. You knock, just in case, but the heavy door muffles any response.

Pushing it open, you step into a much larger, cluttered room. The recording setup is decent, microphones on boom arms, a grey sofa, with a blue curtain behind it. A black table, in front of the recording situation, is covered in half-eaten food, crumpled notes, and what looks like many cups of tea or coffee or whatever they have been drinking to get them ready.

“Hello?” you call, stepping carefully around an errant cable.

From behind a makeshift partition comes the sound of muffled voices, followed by a thud and a sharp “Ow!”

A moment later, two figures emerge. The first is tall, muscular, and bright-eyed, with a dark mullet that looks like it’s been perfectly combed through. He grins at you immediately, his energy warm and infectious.

“Hey! You must be the new producer!”

“That’s me,” you say, smiling as he approaches.

“I’m Isaac,” he says, offering a hand. “Welcome to our team.”

Behind him, the second figure appears, shorter and thinner but very toned, with brown hair and thick eyebrows. He hangs back for a moment, studying you intensely enough that makes you resist the urge to straighten your posture.

“You’re Lara’s replacement?” he questions, his tone polite but with a slight hesitation.

You state your name, stepping forward and shaking his hand when he finally extends it. His grip is firm, and his voice, when he speaks again, is softer.

“I’m Arthur. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you say. He nods but glances at Isaac almost immediately, murmuring something too low for you to catch. Isaac smirks but doesn’t reply, his gaze flicking back to you.

“We’ll miss Lara, obviously,” Arthur says after moment, meeting your eyes again. His tone is more formal this time, like he’s trying to smooth over something. “She was here from the beginning. But I’m sure you’ll be great.”

“Thanks,” you say, offering a small smile. You’re not sure what you’ve done to earn the slight edge in his voice, but you’re not going to let it rattle you.

Isaac claps his hands together, breaking the tension. “So, how are you with tech stuff? Mic levels, soundboards… all that fun stuff?”

“I can handle it,” you say, glancing at the recording setup. “I’ve been working on podcasts for a while now.”

Isaac grins. “Good answer. See, Arthur? We’re in capable hands.”

Arthur gives a tight smile, then leans toward Isaac and whispers something you can’t hear. This time, Isaac’s grin widens, and he shoots you a quick glance before whispering back.

You try not to read too much into it. People are allowed to have their doubts, it’s not your job to win everyone over on day one.

“Well,” Arthur says after a moment, more to Isaac than to you, “we’ve got a recording in twenty minutes.”

“You’re on it, right?” Isaac says, nudging you playfully. “Check the mics, make sure we’re not awkwardly out of frame, all that stuff?”

“Yes yes, of course,” you say, moving toward the desk.

Arthur watches you quietly as you adjust the boom arms and check the camera height and recording software. You can feel his gaze even when you’re not looking directly at him, and when he leans in to whisper something else to Isaac, you resist the urge to ask if they want you to leave the room.

But as you work, you catch something in Arthur’s expression that isn’t unkind, more cautious, like he isn’t quite sure how to fit you into their established rhythm. It isn’t hostility, just hesitation.

Isaac, on the other hand, seems determined to make you feel at home. “So, what’s the best podcast you’ve worked on?” he asks as you fiddle with the gain knobs.

“Probably Passing Notes,” you say, glancing up. “It’s all anonymous confessions. It’s like set in a classroom kinda thing, so you’d like pass notes secretly. I spent way too many late nights editing out overshares.”

Isaac laughs, the sound loud and easy. “That’s such a cool idea!”

Arthur offers a small, polite smile but doesn’t say much. As the recording time approaches, he leans over to you, his tone soft but unfortunately still professional.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he says. “We have a way of… winging things sometimes, but I’m usually good about staying on schedule.”

“Got it,” you say, meeting his deep brown eyes.

Arthur nods once, then moves to the filming sofa, his movements a bit rigid but calm.

As the recording starts, you settle in behind the controls, noting the interest in science between the two of them. Arthur’s laughter is quieter than Isaac’s, but genuine when it comes. And though he glances at you occasionally, it isn’t the skeptical look you feared.

It’s more like… curiosity. A guarded one, but curiosity still.

This isn’t going to be easy. But you’ve made it through worse.

After the recording wraps, the studio settles into a quieter hum. Arthur and Isaac stand from the sofa, their usual post-show energy fading into something less energetic. You busy yourself with jotting down notes from the session, cataloging timestamps for edits, and mentally prioritising what needs to be done before uploading the final cut.

Arthur is already rolling up a spare XLR cable when he looks over at you. “I think that went well,” he says. “Thanks for keeping us on track.”

“No problem,” you say, glancing up from the soundboard.

He nods and places the coiled cable neatly on the desk. “I’ve got an edit I have to send off tonight,” he says to Isaac, his voice softer now, almost apologetic. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Sure thing,” He replies, giving him a thumbs-up as Arthur grabs his coat from the back of a chair.

Arthur’s gaze flickers to you one last time. “See you next time,” he says, his words careful.

“You too,” you reply, watching as he disappears through the door.

The room feels lighter without him, though not necessarily in a bad way. Arthur carries a weight that seems to press on the space around him, a quiet intensity that isn’t unpleasant, just… noticeable.

Isaac turns to you as you shut down the software and begin powering down the equipment. He leans casually against the desk, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.

“Hey,” he says after a moment, his tone quieter than it had been all morning. “I just wanted to say, uh, don’t take Arthur too seriously.”

You pause, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”

Isaac shifts his weight, his eyebrows slightly furrowed with a genuine look of concern. “I mean, he’s not trying to be rude or anything. He just… he’s kind of like that. Especially with new people. He’s not big on change, you know?”

You nod, turning back to unplug one of the microphones. “I got that impression.”

“It’s not personal,” Isaac says quickly. “I promise. He really liked Lara, and he’s probably just… figuring out how to adjust to not having her here.”

You hesitate, then smile faintly. “That makes sense. I wasn’t expecting him to roll out a red carpet or anything.”

Isaac laughs softly, the sound warm and reassuring. “Yeah, but I know how he can come off sometimes. He’s actually a good guy, I swear. It just takes him a minute to warm up to people.”

“Well,” you say, straightening up and meeting Isaac’s eyes, “I’m not in any rush. I’m just here to do my job and make the podcast sound good. If he comes around, great. If not, I’ll survive.”

Isaac grins. “That’s it man. Honestly, I think he’ll get there. He’s just— what’s the word? Particular. And maybe a little protective of the pod.”

“Protective, huh?” you say, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Isaac scratches the back of his head, looking sheepish. “This whole podcast thing was kind of his baby at first. I just showed up for the jokes. But Arthur? He’s all about the details. He’s, like, scary good at making things better, except when it comes to people.”

You laugh despite yourself. “Good to know.”

Isaac smiles, then gives the desk a light tap. “Well, I’m glad you’re here, seriously. It’s nice to have someone new around. Keeps things interesting.”

“Thanks,” you say, your voice softening. “That means a lot.”

“No problem.” Isaac pushes off the desk and stretches. “Anyway, I’ll let you finish up. First day down, how’re you feeling?”

You look around the now-empty studio, cables half-coiled, the faint smell of their breakfast still lingering in the air. “Good,” you say finally. “I think it’ll be a good fit.”

“Good answer,” Isaac says with a grin. “See you next time.”

“See you,” you say, watching as he slips out the door.

The quiet returns as you finish shutting everything down, your mind replaying the day. Arthur might have been a bit off, even a little distant, but Isaac’s reassurance reminds you it’s all okay.

This isn’t going to be easy. But, somehow, you feel a little more confident that it will work out.

The chill of the November air nips at your cheeks as you walk home, hands shoved deep into your coat pockets. The sun is already dipping below the horizon, painting the sky in muted shades of orange and gray. Your breath comes in small, visible puffs as you navigate the uneven pavement, your thoughts circling like restless birds.

Arthur doesn’t hate you. You’re almost sure of that. He’s been polite enough, friendly, even, in that formal way people are when they’re trying not to be unkind. But there’s something in the way he watches you, the quiet whispers to Isaac, the slight hesitations.

He’s not sold on you.

And that’s not a crime, of course. People don’t have to like you. You know that. You know that. But the thought still worms its way under your skin.

What if he doesn’t think you’re good enough? What if he thinks you’re messing up an important rhythm they’ve spent months building? You’ve stepped into something that’s already been established, something Arthur clearly cares about deeply, and now you’re supposed to make it better, or at least keep it from falling apart.

You adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder, kicking at a stray pebble on the pavement. You did your best today, and Isaac was kind, even reassuring. Still, the weight of Arthur’s cold interaction presses on you, and you can’t shake the gnawing feeling that you’re already letting someone down.

It’s not a long walk to your flat, but the cold makes it feel endless. By the time you reach the old brick building, your fingers are numb and your shoulders tense. You fumble with the keys, finally managing to push the door open and climb the creaky stairs to the second floor.

The familiar smell of tomato soup and bread greets you as you step inside. Your flatmate, Emma, is perched on the arm of the sofa, scrolling on her phone with a steaming mug in hand. She glances up as you enter, her light curls bouncing.

“You’re home,” she says lightly. “How was day one?”

You kick off your boots and shrug out of your coat, the warmth of the apartment already seeping into your frozen limbs. “It was… good,” you say, though the words come out slower than you intend.

Emma raises an eyebrow. “Good doesn’t sound convincing.”

You sigh, dropping your bag onto the floor and collapsing onto the sofa next to her. “I mean, I like the job. The studio’s fine, the setup’s fine, Isaac is nice. But…”

“But,” she prompts, her eyes narrowing.

“But I think Arthur doesn’t like me,” you admit, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Arthur?”

“Co-host. The one people say is like lowkey autistic.” You rest your chin on your knees. “He wasn’t mean or anything. He was polite. But he wasn’t exactly warm, either. And I feel like… I don’t know, like I’m already not meeting whatever expectations he has.”

Emma tilts her head, looking at you. “So, you’re worried you’re not living up to the standards of a guy you just met, who might not even have an issue with you in the first place?”

You groan. “When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” she says, setting her mug down. “You just care too much what people think. You’re, like, constitutionally incapable of being okay with someone not liking you.”

You shoot her a look. “That’s not true.”

“Name one person who doesn’t like you,” she challenges.

You open your mouth, then close it.

“Exactly.”

You bury your face in your hands. “I just don’t want to mess this up. It’s a good gig, and I don’t want to make things weird between them, or worse, feel like I’m ruining something Arthur obviously cares about.”

Emma leans back, crossing her legs. “Okay, real talk? You’re overthinking. It’s your first day. If you went in there, did your job, and didn’t, I don’t know, accidentally set the studio on fire, then you’re doing fine. Arthur will come around. Or he won’t. Either way, you’re not responsible for his feelings.”

“I know,” you mumble, though the knot in your stomach doesn’t quite loosen.

“You’re good at what you do,” she says, her voice firm. “And if they hired you, they obviously thought you’d be a good fit. Just give it some time.”

You look at her, her confidence in you unwavering, and manage a small smile. “Thanks, Emma.”

“Anytime,” she says, picking up her mug again. “Now, you want soup? You look like you just walked through a blizzard.”

“It felt like it,” you admit.

She grins. “Then sit tight. I’ll grab you a bowl.”

As Emma disappears into the kitchen, you let your head fall back against the sofa and close your eyes. She’s right, you’re overthinking. Probably.

Still, the memory of Arthur’s quiet glances lingers, and you can’t shake the feeling that winning him over might take more effort than you’d anticipated.

The room is quiet except for the faint hum of the radiator. You lie on your side, staring at your phone on the nightstand, its screen glowing faintly in the darkness. Sleep isn’t happening, not with your brain circling the same thought over and over: Did I mess up today?

Arthur’s neutral expression haunts you. Polite, sure, but distant. Detached. The whispering to Isaac. What were they saying? Are you just reading too much into it?

Frustrated, you grab your phone. Your thumb hovers over the screen. You haven’t texted Isaac before. Your correspondence has been strictly email so far, but he included his number ‘in case of emergencies.’ This isn’t an emergency, not technically, but maybe a quick message would help put your mind at ease.

You hesitate. What if you sound unprofessional? What if you’re overstepping? You chew your lip, then shake your head. Better to clarify now than let it eat away at you.

Taking a deep breath, you open the messaging app and type:

You: Hi, Isaac, it’s your new producer for the podcast. I just wanted to make sure this is the right number?

You hit send before you can overthink it. The message sends, and you stare at the screen, your heart beating a little faster than usual.

The reply comes quickly, too quickly for someone who should probably be asleep:

Isaac: Hey! Yep, this is me. What’s up?

You exhale a small breath of relief. One hurdle down. Now for the awkward part.

You: Thanks for confirming. I hope this isn’t weird to text, but I wanted to ask if there’s anything I can do to help make things feel less awkward with Arthur?

You stare at the screen after pressing send, your stomach twisting. Should you have phrased that differently? Should you have even asked? But before you can spiral too far, Isaac replies.

Isaac: Oh man, you’ve been thinking about that, huh?

You: Yeah a little, I guess. I just feel like there’s some tension, and I don’t want to mess up the dynamic you guys already have.

There’s a brief pause before Isaac’s next message comes through.

Isaac: Okay, first off, you’re not messing anything up. I promise. Arthur’s just Arthur.

You: That’s what you said earlier.

Isaac: Because it’s true. He’s like that with literally everyone at first. Even me.

You blink at your phone.

You: Really?

Isaac: Yeah. When we first started the podcast, it took him, like, three months to stop calling me Isaac during recordings. Said Bach ‘felt too informal’.

You laugh softly, the mental image of Arthur trying to keep things strictly professional easing some of your tension.

You: That’s actually hilarious.

Isaac: Right? It took forever, but he loosened up eventually. He always does.

You hesitate before typing your next question.

You: So, do you think there’s anything I can do to make it easier? Or should I just wait it out?

Isaac’s reply takes a little longer this time, but when it comes through, it’s warm and reassuring.

Isaac: Honestly, just keep being you. Do the job, don’t take his quietness personally, and give him time to adjust. If you try too hard, he’ll probably notice, and that’ll just make things weirder.

You: That’s fair.

Isaac: And hey, if he ever does cross a line, which I doubt, just let me know. I’ll handle it.

You smile at that, grateful for Isaac’s kindness and his willingness to smooth things over.

You: Thanks, Isaac. I really appreciate it.

Isaac: No problem. And don’t stress too much, okay? You’re already doing great. I can tell.

The reassurance settles something in your chest, and for the first time that night, you feel like maybe everything will be okay.

You: I’ll try. Thanks again. Goodnight!

Isaac: Night!

You set your phone down and roll onto your back, staring at the ceiling. The knot in your stomach is still there, but smaller now, less overwhelming. Isaac is right, you just need to focus on doing your job and let the rest work itself out.

With a sigh, you pull the blanket tighter around you and close your eyes, determined to get at least a little sleep before tomorrow.

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Chapter Two

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a/n: i hope you guys like the idea of a slow burn !! i’m really excited to continue this story !! they will come out in between my other fics !! LOVE U GUYS <33 and let me know if you want to be tagged in updates !!

[shmowder]

Heavy spoilers for P3 Quarantine AND P1 Bachelor route

Dankovsky's mind map in P3Q is different from the P2 Haruspex's. For one, it's shaped like a clock, implying the events of day 12 could lead back to day 1 if the outcome is not desirable.

Each thought bubble connects to another, usually in the same or following day, but at other times, it can jump a couple of days, it can even go back and connect to a bubble from a previous day.

The threads can follow a nonlinear path.

The events entangle in the flow of time, and some lines move counter-clockwise into a previous day as they progress.

Here is the complete map and every revealed thought bubble. It tells a summerised story of the worst P1 Bachelor route playthrough you've ever seen, where the protagonist seems to have made all the wrong choices and completely neglected the town & their aids.

It also has some details twisted. In this version, Lara succeeded in assassinating the general, and the canons only came into the town after his death. The inquisitor hangs one of the twin architects for not turning over the Polyhedron blueprints. Stakh dies before meeting Dankovsky. Katerina dies at the hand of Dankovsky. Vlad Jr. and Capella are dead.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

[sugarushwriting]

frat boy heeseung x you part 4….(okay and final part but tysm for the love!!!)

it’s gonna be short sorry. short and sweet!!!!

sfw but maybe nsfw? no full on scenes but more like innuendos and assumptions

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

3 months.

11 weeks and 3 days.

80 days.

that’s how long heeseung has last seen your face. well, he’s seen in you class, but that’s it. he hasn’t interacted with you. not because he doesn’t want to but because you won’t let him.

you left him and last interacted with him on a sunday at the close to end of october. it’s now the second week of january, and he’s finally seeing you up close and personal.

leaving jays room.

“what. the. fuck.” was all heeseung could spit out seeing you dressed in one of jays shirts and pajama pants.

your eyes went wide. you thought heeseung was still visiting his parents for winter break.

“heeseung, oh, um, you’re home.” you smiled weakly.

“seems you got your wish to fuck one of my brothers.” heeseung spat.

your eyes narrowed. “i did not fuck jay, heeseung. just because you didn’t make a promise, remember i did?”

heeseung’s eyes squinted. “liar.”

“am not!” you argued like a child.

“hi heeseung.” jay greeted coming into the hallway. “morning eunjin.” jay kissed your forehead.

“jay!” you squealed. “don’t make this worse!”

“he already thinks we’ve fucked,” jay pouted, “why didn’t you play along?”

“so childish, you two.” you groaned, and went past both boys down to the kitchen.

turning on the coffee pot, your back was turned to both as they spoke like you weren’t there.

“why is she here? why was she in your room?”

jay smirked. “bitter and jealous much?”

heeseung narrowed his eyes, “now is not the time to fuck around.”

heeseung couldn’t believe when you left, he’d never talk to you personally or see you again up close. he’s tried texting you, calling you, asking his friends, and cornering you around campus. but you always found your way to either ignore him or leave his hold.

since you and lara had vowed to stay away from frat parties for the remainder of last semester, he hasn’t seen you at one.

the boys knew you leaving heeseung alone was your choice. for your own sake.

heeseung didn’t know although you left, you kept your promise. you didn’t fuck around with anyone else, because he truthfully ruined them for you.

however, heeseung continued to be his usual self when he noted you were ignoring him. he just slept with girls less often, but still stuck to the one rule. and since you, he’s never let another girl in his bed.

“i wanted to have sex, but she doesn’t.” jay pouted fakely . you narrowed your eyes at him to shut up. “ugh, you’re lucky she’s loyal to you even though you weren’t loyal to her.” jay wasn’t actually upset you wouldn’t sleep with him.

“he doesn’t need to be loyal to me, we were never together.” you stated in a low whisper but heeseung heard you.

“eunjin—,”

“it’s okay heeseung, no need to explain yourself.” you said and kept your back turned to both guys.

behind your back jay was signaling heeseung to keep talking while you were downstairs before you retreated back to jays room.

heeseung kept trying to get your attention but you ignored him. “fuck this.” he said and you found yourself flipped over his shoulder, your face coming to contact with his lower back.

“heeseung!” you squealed, but he kept walking back up the stairs to his room.

“don’t be too loud!” jay yelled after you both.

you huffed in annoyance when heeseung threw you on his bed, and he quickly hovered over you, not necessarily putting his entire weight on you. but with both his arms on either side of your shoulders, you were trapped under him.

“heeseung,” you began but stopped short when he nuzzled his nose into your neck. “now is not the time to seduce me!”

“why not?” he mumbled. “i missed you.”

“if you missed me so much you wouldn’t have had sex with other girls!”

heeseung lifted his head so he could look into your eyes. “you’re the one who ignored me!”

“and for my own good! i knew you wasn’t going to change for me. i wasn’t going to let my heart be broken by you.”

“instead you broke my heart.” heeseung pouted.

“your heart or your ego?” you challenged.

heeseung shut his mouth and was silenced.

you scoffed, “of course. i hurt your ego because i ghosted you before you could ghost me.” you were not only mad at heeseung but yourself.

how dare you let him ruin other guys for you? you knew for a fact jake probably would be more than happy to get you to bed.

jay as well, since he would be your first pick. although he wasn’t actually upset you wouldn’t sleep with him, you knew if you brought it up, he would jump at the chance.

there was a reason older women liked jay and jake and always thought they would make great sons in laws. so why the fuck did you have to have a crush on heeseung?

“what’s going through that head of yours?” heeseung asked as he tapped your forehead.

“whether or not if i should fuck jay or jake first.” you joked, but sort of not joked.

heeseung didn’t like that. “don’t even think about it. it’s neither. and you won’t fuck sunghoon either.”

“and whys that?”

“like you said, i ruined other guys for you, including my own frat brothers.” heeseung chuckled. “whether you like it or not, my dick will be the only one you come around.” he whispered into your ear sending you chills.

you wanted to push him off of you but he was too strong.

“i don’t like you wearing men clothes that aren’t mine.” heeseung spat and tugged on the pants you was wearing that belong to jay. he smoothly took them off your legs, smiling in joy at your purple underwear. “now the shirt.”

“i don’t have anything underneath, heeseung.”

“even better.” he said and went to take the shirt off but you pushed his hand away.

“absolutely not.” you scolded.

“fine.” he rolled his eyes and went to the band of your underwear. “i’ve missed your sweet cunt.”

no time to argue or debate, you bit your tongue instead when heeseung position himself between your legs, pulling your underwear to the side, and wasting no time devouring your sweet cunt with his lips, tongue and teeth.

you missed this. you hate to admit but you missed this.

in no time either, heeseung had you withering underneath him, you dripping onto the sheets below. you bit your lip to keep quiet to respect jays poor ears.

“im going to fuck you now.” he stated and that he did. like the last time, it was hard, rough and fast. his hips meeting yours to fast thrusts, skin slapping, low moans from the both of you. heeseung buried himself deep in your cunt as much as you could and would take him.

he wanted this to last as long as possible, but he couldn’t keep denying you both of an orgasm. you came on his cock as he quickly pulled out stroking himself twice to come on your thigh.

you both laid on your backs on the bed, chasing your breaths. heeseung soon got up to go to his bathroom and came back with a warm washcloth to clean you up.

“such a gentleman.” you teased.

heeseung laughed and kissed you once on the lips. “come on, let’s go shower.”

“together?”

“of course. save water and all that.”

“are we about to have shower sex?” you asked with a groan.

“yes. yes we are.” heeseung lifted you up with ease and carried you to the bathroom.

you knew you should run away, far away. there were other guys out there that would be more loyal to you, right?

but internally you didn’t care. right now you had heeseungs attention and that’s all that mattered.

heeseung stood between your open legs as you sat on the counter waiting for the water to heat up.

heeseung gave you quick pecks on the lips, once, twice, three times before kissing both of your cheeks.

“be prepared to not be able to walk again.”

“please don’t.” you begged. “i like being able to walk away from you when i need to.”

“even more reason for me to make sure you’re too sore to walk.”

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[sl-vega]

✧Sticking to the Script✧

Pairing: Xingqiu x FEM! Reader

Genre: fake dating, strangers to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst (?), high school smau, modern smau

⋆｡°✩-Synopsis: Xingqiu just got entered into a special writing contest, the type that's invite only, the theme this year is love, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. but he really wants to prove himself as a writer. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. it shouldn't be hard for an actor such as yourself, all you need to do is stick to the script.

Status: CANCELLED; revamped version

playlist: just here for the vibes. also shoutout to the lovely @uuyuomi for giving me ideas for what songs should be on here

✧MEET THE CAST✧

y/n + company ✧ xingqiu's victims friends ✧ other friendly faces

PROLOGUE-a little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now

01-no chance for a showmance

02-time to write the other 51

03-inspiration? more like desperation

04-the world's a stage and i'm the star

05-lara jean who?

06-not so soft launch

07-rebound already?

08-hollywood here i come

09-i swear i'm not a gold digger guys

10-action!

11-possessive much?

12-juliet's found a new romeo

13-boyfriend vs boy friend

14-no shit sherlock

15-boy you got me helpless

16-you've got it bad

17-denial ain't just a river in egypt

18-third wheeling x10

19-spotify doing me dirty

20-taking my breath away (literally)

21-practice makes you a little too perfect

22-finishing touches

23-cheating but not really

24-feelings are confusing

25-front row seats to my demise

26-confess before the credits roll

27-not the best with words but i'll try for you

28-setting the scene

29-opening night

30-confessions and curtain calls

31-fucking finally

EPILOGUE-that's a wrap!

(OPEN) Taglist: @freyao7, @thatoneswordgirl, @sn1perz, @latay7, @esmetrees, @nmriki0, @help-whatdoimakemyusername, @httpsrenren, @cupid-spams, @aixaingela, @kaitfae, @luvkvni, @danhenglovebot

additional notes:

-this is the reworked version of going of script

-time stamps don't matter

-feel free to comment if you want to be added to the taglist

-this is for all the xingqiu simps and theatre kids

-it's fully planned out so it will start soon :3

-names in bold means I can't tag you btw

[a-shade-of-blue]

New Gaza fundraiser asks I've received (11 October)

Muhammad (@mohammed-rh09, @mohamed-resh00, @mn-mohammed109, @mohamed-reesh09): Muhammad and his wife have 3 children: Sarah (5), Abboud (4), and Lara (3). They do not have the income to provide milk to Lara. Abboud has contracted hepatitis and is so traumatized he has become unable to speak. They are living in at tent in Mawasi Khan Yunis. They are fundraising to evacuate out of Gaza and buy daily necessities. (https://gofund.me/2b1c2e8f) (vetted by association as Mohammed is a brother of @/mohiy-gaza2 (shared by 90-ghost))

Maha Alzenati (@mahakamal): Mahar is a uni engineering student. She has 2 sisters and 3 brothers. She has lost many loved ones, including a memeber of her family. They wish to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/641630a2) (#149 on @/gazavetters vetted list) ($653 USD raised of $30,000 goal)

Maryam (@maryamsfamily): Maryam’s husband is seriously injured; he is suffing from inflammation and bleeding in the neck, but they do not have the money for the medication needed. They need to evacuate to get him the operation he needs. Other than her husband and her own children, she is also taking care of her orphaned nephews and nieces. (https://gofund.me/e7129a23) (#6 on @/gaza-evacuation-funds vetted list here) (@brutaliakhoa’s adopted campaign)

Nuha Riyad Murad (@nuhamurad): Nuha and her husband have 3 children: Abdulrahman (14), Amr (12) and Jana (6). Their house has been destroyed. They wish to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/e62713cd) (#157 on @/gazavetters vetted list) ($100 USD raised of $55,000 goal)

Samah Aburakhia & Ibrahim (@aburakhiaibrahim, @ibrahimmo99): They are a family with 28 people, including 15 children. They are displaced and living at Nuseirat. They wish to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/36cc281d) (vetted by @/gaza-evacuation-funds)

Osama Al-Anqar (@osama-naser): Osama and his wife Rana have a baby daughter. His brother Mahmoud was martyred in a bombing, leaving behind his wife and children. His brother Ahmed had to have his foot amputated due to the same bombing. They are raisinng funds to buy daily necessities. (https://gofund.me/61b82f1f) (#12 on @/gazavetters vetted list)

Click here for my Google Doc with my complete masterlist of all the Palestinian gfm asks I've received, updated daily (along with other verified ways to send aid to Gaza).

How are gfm campaigns vetted?  See here, here, here and here.

See post here for other verified ways to send aid to Gaza.

Don't forget your Daily Clicks on Arab.org, it's free!!! and Every click made is registered in their system and generates donation from sponsors/advertisers.

See links below for my Masterlists of Vetted Fundraisers from the Palestinians who sent me asks for if you want to help more people! As well as resources for palestinian students if you are a palestinian student!

Masterlists of Vetted Fundraisers

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 13 - 25 July.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 26 -29 July.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 30 July - 1 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6 - 10 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11 - 14 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15 - 18 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 19 - 21 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 22 - 24 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 25 - 28 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 29 August - 1 September

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6-10 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11-14 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15-18 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 19-22 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 23-26 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 27-30 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 1-4 October.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 5-9 October.

Resources for Palestinian Students!

Initiatives and resources to support Palestinian students, academics and universities:

This is a list of initiatives and resources for Gazan students seeking to complete their studies, including initiatives, resources, training and scholarships. See list here.

Scholarships for Displaced Palestinian students:

Putting this here for the palestininans who follow me: If you are a displaced Palestinian student looking to fund your education, this document lists the scholarships available around the world for displaced Palestinian students.

[laracroftdaily]

Lara Croft Crowned Most Iconic Video Games Character of All Time, According to BAFTA Poll

BAFTA has revealed the results of its landmark players’ poll to establish the Most Iconic Video Games Character of All Time. Launched to celebrate the 20th BAFTA Games Awards on Thursday 11 April, the poll was engaged with by over 4,000 players from all over the world. 

Taking the number one spot is the generation-spanning heroine Lara Croft, star of the Tomb Raider franchise. Lara Croft first appeared in 1996, nearly three decades ago, and since then she has been remastered and evolved several times for television, film, video games and even her own live immersive experience in London, England.

First introduced to the world in 1996 in Tomb Raider for the Sega Saturn, Lara Croft has appeared in over 15 games, three films, multiple novelisations and comic book adaptations, and an upcoming Netflix animated series.

[siesporamor]

Top 20 Violetta ships (non-canon and canon both)

Ask me my top 20 of anything.

Oh gosh, this is hard. I used to think I had a lot of ships, but this ask has made me reconsider that lmao. I guess it's easier to think about 20 ships across different fandoms than it is for just one. I ended up making a general ranking because I really couldn't come up with 20 ships I like.

20. Dieletta - I won't deny that some of their scenes are cute, but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking about how they got to be there. Even during their relationship, Diego is super manipulative. I like their friendship in s3, though.

19. Caxi - It was very random and comphet-y.

18. Camcesca - I only see them as friends, but I don't mind this ship at all.

17. Gery/Clement - They exist, I guess. Good for them and especially for me, because they won't get in the way of my ship.

16. Diemila - I like them as a duo of friends who low-key want to rip each other's throats, but I don't ship them romantically.

15. Maxi/Andrés - They have a nice dynamic, I think they could be cute together!

14. Brodemila - Are they a healthy couple? No, but their shenanigans can be fun.

13. Marcesca - I just don't have strong opinions about them. They were good while they lasted, but I never particularly liked Marco.

12. Naxi - They're cute, unfortunately Naty gives off massive lesbian energy.

11. Marciego - The superior Marco ship imo.

10. León/Lara - I think they would've actually worked as a couple, if only León weren't madly in love with Violetta lol (which, for example, I can't see happening with Dieletta). RIP Lara, you were just unlucky.

9. Fedemila - Even though I fully headcanon Ludmila as a lesbian, they have a lot of cute scenes together and just as many funny scenes.

8. Franletta - I don't personally ship them, but they're an amazing pair. This show wouldn't be the same without their friendship, especially after s1, when there isn't that stupid love triangle going on.

7. Jade/Nicolás - It's great to see Jade find someone who worships the ground she walks on. I was surprised at how sad I was when they broke up, and they had a beautiful make up.

6. Pablangie - I really really really wish Pablo was Angie's endgame. The only reason I can't rank them higher is because their relationship is cyclically made super messy to set up the Germangie endgame.

5. Natila - I don't even think about this ship that much, but when I do I'm like, wow, they have insane chemistry.

4. Dieleon - The vibe is fantastic. Why does Diego in s2 sound like he's pursuing Violetta and León lol.

3. Diecesca - Very silly goofy at all times and I like that they're mostly drama-free. They're probably the most mature relationship in the show, which I think was needed among the chaos that is every other ship.

2. Luty - They're so gay fr. Especially in s3, once Ludmila starts to become a better friend towards Naty.

1.Leonetta - I'm sure everyone is very surprised by this. Who could possibly have guessed, right? I just yap about them all the time. No offense to the other ships in this ranking, but Leonetta makes me go feral in a way none of them can.

Thanks for the ask!

[lara4eclipze]

›› Ghostface

sypnosis ›› what's supposed to be a night filled with relaxation quickly turns into horror — as you come face to face with your stalker

warnings ›› suggestive , almost smut...(i think) , swearing , creepy shit , stalking , trespassing , obsessed!lara , she kinda mean too , slight bondage , kissing , hickeys , choking

talks ›› finally rewriting old fics!! , anyways hope yall like this better than wtv i first wrote!! love yall mwamwa

taglist (open) : @nyssalvr @ohmyhaely @vrtualstar @jellaaa @nakylvr @chuugetmesohigh @c-yerim

the night was peaceful, semesteral break was finally here and all of your roomates were either with their family or partners — which you had neither , besides it's better to bed rot anyways

you had planned out your night pretty well — watch a horror movie , cook popcorn , possibly buy a drink and get drunk , and finally pass out on your bed that you oh so conveniently have just changed into new sheets

tonight was supposed to go to plan — now sitting on your couch watching scream , a classic horror movie that you can get behind

"ah fuck!" you wince as you drop the remote on your feet , you bend down to pick it up but right as you stood up your phone started ringing

"weird it's like 11 am who the fuck calls at this hour" you mutter, but you walk up to your phone and answer the number — you thought maybe it was one of those prank calls or maybe someone who got the number wrong

"hello?" you ask on the line slightly irritated that your time was possibly wasted by answering the call

the line was silent for a few beats, until you hear this distorted voice speak "hi enjoying the horror movie?" , how the fuck did it know you were even watching one

"who is this?" you started getting worried and scared, like said previously you are alone in your dorms right now — and it's not like it is hard to break into this place

no answer — but yet again you asked "who the fuck are you?" you almost scream into the phone, mainly pissed off but mostly scared

"oh you'll see" the other person snickers, and just like that the line dies left with the eerie feeling of someone watching you and a static noise

you felt your body get goosebumps—as you try to calm down , when suddenly the electricity went out

"okay what the fuck, what is this timing?!" you internally screamed as you reach for your phone that was tossed carelessly on the sofa

you navigate and run to your room as you open the flash feature on your phone — you sigh out of relief

"you're so cute when you're scared" you hear a familiar voice behind you, you scream out of panic until said familiar voice covers your head with this sack like material

"finally, I was starting to get annoyed by your screaming," the person says, you felt it make you sit down on your bed, thoughts raced through your head

"shit! get away from me!" you try screaming ever so loudly until you feel your hands being tied, your heart feels like it is about to explode any second from now with how terrified you were

"shh, no one will hear you— remember they all are not home" the person says, in a condescending tone, reminding you that if not every student within this dormitory has gone to go to their vacations

you silently obey not wanting a single piece of your being to be hurt, the last thing you want is to end up dead on the very night of your supposed "relaxation night"

were you gonna die?

were you about to get your guts cut and torn up?!

"now , I'll give you a few chances to guess who i am — and if you're right I might just leave you with no scratches," the person says again — it felt like a sick joke, was this just a prank? and who is this person

"are you a g-girl?" your voice trembled, trying to pinpoint who exactly was torturing you and possibly may kill you

"hmh yes! — now quick up i don't have much time" she responds her voice laced with venom daring you to go against her

you tried thinking of anyone sick enough to even do this to you, but no one came to mind — surely not sophia nor manon they were your friends and practically would die for you, yet you didn't know someone who knew you well enough to even know where you live and when your alone at that

"sophia?" you ask after a slap delivered to your thighs making you audibly gasp out of pain

"no!" she replies in a playful tone , like a child playing a game

"i uh i don't know! m-manon?" you ask yet again uncertainty tainting your voice , another hit

and then another hit , this went on for six more hits and six more wrong people

"gosh don't you know me? — i thought we were close" she said her voice was one like a defeated child which made your stomach churn

"lara?" you awaited another hit but as seconds pass nothing came , your heart dropped at the realization

"ding ding ding!" she cheers, removing the sack from your head, you were greeted by lara she looked psychotic to say the least, her hands were covered with these leather gloves meaning she left no traces on your body

"what do you want?" you ask, you both never interacted enough but you don't know if you have ever crossed her line or accidentally hurt her

"you darling" she responds her hands now on your jaw cupping it with surprising tenderness, at that moment you knew that something had to be wrong with you too , you felt comfortable yet confused with her

"I've been watching you, following you even keeping you safe— yet you never even tried to lay your eyes on me," lara says a playful pout forming on her lips

"what do you mean keeping me safe?" you ask

"oh you know... when people get too close with you it makes me angry , and a lot of people get too close to you for my liking" lara says her voice sinister

"what did you do lara" you were mad just trying to fathom what has she done

"ugh fine you're so persuasive, i bleached emily's eyes , i didnt like how much she looked at you" lara says as if it was so casual to hurt another person , you felt like puking at the thought

"why would you? do that?!" you scream, but the smile quickly fades from laras face, replaced with something more annoyed or mad even — she reaches for your jaw forcing you to look up at her as she roughly kisses you

her teeth nibble on your lower lips leaving them swollen and red — her other hand closes around your neck making you gasp for air — it makes you feel too dizzy and guilty for liking it for liking her

"thank god you're cute or else this precious neck would've been slit," she says in between breaths

her lips made their way to your neck, you lean into her letting her leave small hickeys around it — you moan silently as she explores more

"you are so perfect," she murmurs into your skin — her eyes were dazed over with desire , desire to make you hers

it was too much , you felt so dirty letting her do this , knowing what she had done to emily , and maybe to others too

yet even with that nagging feeling you didnt stop her , nothing could she was perfect and made for you

"you're enjoying this too huh?" she husks , as laras hands snake to the hem of your shirt slowly lifting it up , her hands met your breasts as she gently massages them

you gasp when she suddenly covered your head again with the same sack , you felt the knot that tied your hands loosen , when you removed it she was gone — you glance at your night table that had a note

"you're mine — don't ever forget that ♡" written using a red pen with a heart at the end

[julie-sufan]

The In-Depth Look at Julie-Su Part 11: Sonic the Hedgehog Issues 109, 114, 115 & 118

Previously we ended on the introduction of Knuckles & Julie-Su's future AU daughter Lara-Su. It may sound a interesting twist to the ongoing story but in reality it's not. Unlike Silver in Sonic 2006 Lara-Su has practically no impact on the story. You could take her out and the story would still work as established.

Anyway she goes to a meeting that consists of the Dark Legion along with Knuckles and a council of utterly forgettable regular echidnas. There she witnesses what appears to be Knuckles getting shot.

Afterwards Lara-Su leaves the scene before Knuckles reveals that he was playing possum. A heartbroken Lara-Su assumes he's dead and pops back into the AU future. There we see Julie-Su and get this out of left turn reveal.

Even though this seems like a neat setup to continue on with this is the last we see of it. We don't get to see tough future soldier Julie-Su fight a evil despot version of Knuckles with her daughter. Personally I would have loved if the story continued on with this plotline over the meandering continuation of the story that does happen. It's also the last we see of Lara-Su in the Green Knuckles arc. She does not show up or is mentioned again.

Back to the canon timeline the we see Julie-Su as she is introduced to a free apartment that Knuckles set up for her and her parents.

It's nice that Knuckles carried in her suitcases for her.

We also finally get to see the Chaotix again who noticed Dimitri being taken away, his robotic body is failing him. Julie-Su fights with Vector and delivers this ominous warning about what would happen should Dimitri die.

In issue #115 not much happens but we do get this nice shipping moment.

In issue #118 Green Knuckles faces off against Mammoth Mogul a seemingly immortal villain that has appeared on and off throughout various Sonic & Knuckles issues over the years.

During their battle Knuckles has I don't know too much green energy or something and dies after unleashing it in a massive blast.

Next up the conclusion of the Green Knuckles Arc.

[tealenko]

The Three Letters (Chapter 11)

Chapter 11: The Price in our Scars

Soooo here we are. I'm getting better, only a few months between chapters looool To be fair... This is my peak of angst (it's really not that angsty, but my heart is as soft as it gets). If this was fluff I would've posted it a week after ch.10. But hey, I got there in the end.

Btw, I keep finding mistakes in this one, idk why, but I don't have the heart to keep editing and there's no beta... So we die like Jacob didn't ehehehe Anyways, hope you like it!

As always: inner thoughts are in italic.

Summary: Lara finally tells Jacob what happened to her in the years they were apart. What she did. And, summoning her worst fears, her words manage to wound Jacob to an unseen level of torment, the kind that only she is able to dispel.

Words: 6380 Rating: Teens and Up Warnings: discussion about being a willing volunteer to a human sacrifice

All Chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

-----------------------------------------

"A human sacrifice?" Rage and pain fused into a stream of words, spilling uncontrollably from his mouth with the roaring waterfall as its background. "You offered yourself as a HUMAN SACRIFICE!?"

~ 5 minutes earlier ~

Sofia chokes a melodic hum as she returns from finishing her morning tasks, happiness on the brink of overtaking her body, before she tames it, as she walks back to the western village.

The place is deserted when she arrives, with most of the people focused on restoring the castle ruins in the southern settlement, where Levi is now headed, and where Sofia should be going too, but she decided to stop here first in order to see how her father was doing.

After an overall scan of the empty town, she assumes his task is now over and has probably moved on to the next duty on his to-do list. Nevertheless, upon further inspection of the place she left him behind, she realizes the repairs aren’t finished yet.

To say she is surprised is an understatement. 

Her father has never left something in the middle of it, has never disregarded his duties, except for once. A mistake of which she is a direct consequence. But she knows that, for something like this to happen, there has to be something really wrong with him.

Under any other circumstance she will panic. Sofia’s mind would surely think the worst of the situation, imagining something terrible must have happened to her father to cause him to abandon a task still unfinished.

It would have to be the end of his world for him to neglect his duties, afterall.

And she isn’t wrong.

Nevertheless, she doesn’t have the time to think about all this.

With a loud bang, coming from the farthest cabin in the village, Sofia’s attention is instantly captured, and any preoccupation about to be formed is instantly dispelled. The sound of the door slamming against the wood beams resounds with might throughout the empty town, its intensity amplified by the calm that had reigned before.

Her eyes have no problem recognizing the distant figure storming out of said cabin.

Jacob doesn’t even spare a moment to look back, too absorbed in his own thoughts to acknowledge her presence, striding with decision in the opposite direction from where his daughter stands. Neither does Lara, with the same focus as he, who exits with the same urgency after a few seconds, too preoccupied to follow Jacob to let her gaze stray from his path.

Just like that, Sofia is left behind in the village, completely alone. Yet, instead of the panic she would normally feel, her emotions are now a confusing amalgam of shock, worry and bewilderment, way too tangled to unravel. But, more than willing to try, she sighs, picks up the forgotten tool, and starts replaying the bizarre scene in her mind as she resumes the 

task she had started earlier that morning, trusting Lara to handle whatever is already unfolding.

She’ll know what to do.

~

Jacob’s steps are larger, faster than hers, and so, she loses sight of him soon after he leaves the village. Luckily for her, she doesn’t actually need to see where he’s going to know where he’s headed.

She gets to the path to the observatory and, as she suspects, neither of them follow it all the way up there, taking instead the side route that leads to his favorite hideout at the top of the waterfall.

Despite her intuition, there’s a part of Lara that fears he won’t be there when she gets to the hidden cliff. Perhaps she is right, but too late, and Jacob has already left the place by the time she manages to reach it.

She’s thankful, for a moment, when reality overrides her fears, finding him standing next to the wild current of water, completely focused on the way it flows and falls with strength toward the abyss, crashing against the distant ground so many feet below where they are.

For a moment, she is so glad she’s found him, that she forgets the reason he stormed away from her.

She forgets, just for an insignificant moment, what her heart knows is true.

For a moment.

And then, the moment is over.

Lara only needs to take a step closer to see his face. 

It’s more than over.

He had been so supportive of her, so open and accepting, so patient. When she started talking about the worst parts of her journey, how she took the dagger despite all the warnings, how she endangered Jonah yet again. The deaths, the loss, the pain. He did not make a single comment, listening in silence without casting any judgment.

She couldn’t even look at him, eyes fixed on the ground while her trembling voice narrated the last year of her life, and he just let her, waiting patiently until her story had an ending. 

Lara knows she couldn't have gone through it otherwise, mustering only the courage to look at him once her tale was over.

Then, and only then, is when she realized her words had completely obliterated him.

She’s seen Jacob angry before, but never like this. Their little argument four years ago, when she disobeyed his wishes and went looking for the Atlas, was merely a taste of what his rage could really be.

Without warning he turned around and ran away from her. And now that the fleeting happiness of having reached him is leaving her body, she’s starting to realize this may well be the very last moment they spend together.

Jacob is an empty shell of himself, looking at the thundering water in complete silence, expressionless.

Right… A tear flows through her face as she closes her eyes, Lara’s mind coming to terms with the reality of her situation, and the consequence of her actions. It was too good to be true, after all.

With any other person in front of her, that would be it. She would flee from him and would never look back, as she’s done with everyone she’s ever disappointed, being all too used to running away from anyone who manages to see what she’s truly made of.

But Jacob isn’t any other person and, before she has the time to panic, operating now on basic instincts, as she did when she followed him here, Lara starts walking in his direction.

Too good to be true.

Half of her body screams at her to run, to hide, to protect her feelings. To survive.

But the other half has more gravitas, its influence now deeply rooted in the control of her body, rising with more strength than her many preservation instincts for the first time ever, pulling her in the opposite direction instead.

Towards him.

He’s too good to be true.

Lara’s mind replays the torment she found on his expression before he fled away from her, twisting it like a dagger into her heart.

And I… Am not.

She’ll never feel deserving. She’ll never feel enough. And that, no matter the circumstance, is always present in every single one of her thoughts, of her choices, including the catalyst that has led them to this moment.

Lara felt both relieved and anguished after sharing her adventures, her decisions. Her mistakes. She needed him to know, to see her. The real her. Let him see the truth and decide, with no further distance or embellishment, if he is really in love with her and not just an illusion. A mirage. An idealized version of a hero that never existed.

And now, she has her answer.

He’s not.

Another tear falls when she stops walking.

How could he?

Even her thoughts tremble as her mind speaks the excruciating truth.

How could anyone?

Lara is now close enough to reach for him, but the moment her hand starts to rise she stops it, too afraid to face what she knows is going to happen next.

Anger, disbelief… Disappointment.  

And she doesn’t know which one will be the winner of the battle Jacob is now fighting, but for some strange reason, she fears the latter to an unexpected degree, making her want to run away even more, and leave all this pain behind.

Survive. 

Nevertheless, she stays.

She must stay. 

Despite always wanting to help, to do what’s right, in her quest to stop Trinity Lara made more than a few excruciating mistakes, too many choices linked to terrible and haunting consequences to be able to count them, and now, she must finally face some of them. 

She must pay the price.

So she stays, in complete silence. Standing there with patience, just as he did for her, on the edge of the abyss. Embracing the reality forming right in front of her eyes, letting her tears fall as the reason she’s done all those terrible things vanishes into nothing, getting ready to witness him break the illusion that’s kept her heart running for years now.

How could he not?

After what seems an endless wait, he finally turns. 

There’s no disbelief nor disappointment in him.

There’s anger, indeed, but, despite simmering with unseen strength, is not nearly enough to be close to what she had predicted. Inconsequential, as well as every other sentiment and emotion brewing in him, casted away as one remaining feeling conquers his entire being without finding a trace of resistance: fear.

"A human sacrifice?" Rage and pain fused into a stream of words, spilling uncontrollably from his mouth with the roaring waterfall as its background. "You offered yourself as a HUMAN SACRIFICE!?"

Her tears halt right away, replaced now by confusion while she does her best to process what’s really happening.

“A. Human. Sacrifice.” Sounds closer to spite this time around. The terror inside him turning swiftly into a mixture of sorrow and disbelief brewing out of control to gain possession of every inch of his body.

In one second, Jacob closes the distance between them. In the next one, he has his hands on her arms, holding her in place with a trembling pulse as his heart demands an explanation.

“What were you thinking!?”

“I…” She doesn’t have the time to answer. 

Before Lara is able to find the right words to say, Jacob's head sinks downward, completely defeated by the possible reality that never came to be.

“How could you do that…” He barely whispers, no longer a question to her, but to the universe, tormented now in the present by knowing how close he was to losing her. His hold strengthens, no longer his decision, with his body acting on its own to be sure she won’t slip right through his fingers. “How could you… How could you…?”

His voice goes beyond breathy, no force left in him to finish his question and hold back the tears that are desperately trying to overrun him.

Someone had to. She wants to say, but isn’t able to either, all basic abilities to function more than lost as the sight presented in front of her turns somehow into something even worse than the hell she was expecting to unravel. I had to.

“Heavens, Lara. You… You…” His words choke as they form, but he forces them out nonetheless, pulling back his emotions long enough to finish them before they stream down. “You could’ve died.”

A tear starts falling, unhurried.

“You should’ve died…” 

Two more join the first one. 

“By all means, you should be dead.”

And he breaks. 

A third waterfall joins the scenery and starts pouring from his eyes, his grip tightens even further, head down still, being now Lara the only thing that keeps him from slipping away from reality.

“And I…”

There’s a part of Jacob that screams at him to surrender and stop talking, to take a moment to breathe and to think, to look at her. But his pain blinds him to all sound and, instead, his eyes remain fixed on the ground as his fears, already fed to the brim by the years of anguish and separation, take now complete dominion over his being, stripping away all traces of self-control, fueled by the weight of this newfound information.

“I…” His eyes close for a moment, fighting the idea as it leaves his body. “I would’ve never found out.”

Stating it out loud, makes the concept even more painful than when it was chained and trapped deep into his body. Somehow, putting it into words, makes it more harmful. More real.

“You would’ve saved the world and I’d be here, alone, left to spend the rest of my long, pointless and miserable life imploring God that you were lying when you said you love me, praying so that your absence meant you had forgotten me. Every second, every day, pleading and begging that the reason you don’t come back is because you didn’t want to.”

Jacob shakes his head for a few seconds, tears still having free reign over his face, too well aware of the way the alternate reality he’s painting would’ve ended.

“A wasted life of prayers.” He adds, the anger melting further away under the influence of the sorrow. “Perfectly knowing, through every single squandered breath of my empty, drab and meaningless existence, that the reason you won’t come back to me is because you’re dead.”

Lara remains silent, focused on him, all old fears disappearing while far worse take new form inside her body, shaping all of his words into anguish as she witnesses the pain she’s causing him. 

Nevertheless, she remains silent.

She owes him that much, at least.

The grip on Jacob’s hands starts to soften along with the stream of water flowing down his face and, with his head still focused on the ground, still unable to look directly at her, he eventually releases her from his hold, tears fading away little by little at the same speed his grasp finally crumbles, no strength left in him to keep alive neither of them.

His hands fall, almost surrender, back to their place, feelings invading him as his own lack of sleep, the emotional shock, and the strength he just employed without knowing it, mix carefully into a transcendental form of tiredness to leave him standing there without the will to do anything else for a while.

When that while comes to an end, he takes a few steps backwards, literally at the edge of the abyss, putting some distance between them as he stands right next to the falling water, needing the added space to finally be able to look at Lara. After a mandatory moment to breathe, eyes shut and hands closed by his side, he puts everything aside, and forces his sight to move.

What he finds once it sets on her, is enough to cast away any remnant of his anger that the tiredness still hadn’t taken care of, leaving the fear and the pain on their own as they find themselves a new reason to upsurge.

“...”

Lara remains stoic, looking directly at him. Strong stance, composed breathing and focused expression, all mixed into the woman that stands now before Jacob. No emotion palpable in a single inch of her body, no feeling painted or leaving its trace behind.

And yet, it's the most harrowing vision he’s had the chance to witness in many hundreds of years he’s been alive.

In fact, he doesn’t feel alive, for a moment, or at least, he wishes he wasn’t.

Lara’s skills to conceal her inner turmoil normally excel the average and, right now, they even go far beyond what are usually her own, reaching levels of realness so high that she’s almost able to fool herself.

The many emotions fighting and arguing inside of her have caused such disarray that she isn’t able to act as a consequence, with no trace of them in her expression, making her look like she’s staring at the void.

She’s staring at the void, indeed.

But not for long.

The battle royale disputed inside her body quickly elects a champion among the countless emotions fighting in it and, at the speed of a lightning striking against the ground, the winner takes control and makes her drop to her knees, emotionless still.

Jacob stares, not knowing what else to do, unable to pinpoint what she’s experiencing just from her expression. Too many shades of too many feelings to strike them out as a single color.

But that doesn’t last either.

After a few moments of staring at nothing, her eyes move to his, sinking in them, as she’s somehow striving to read his soul, searching for something in them she’s both eager and afraid to find.

“I…” He attempts to say, but that’s when she finds it.

A cry of tears bursts from Lara without notice and, unlike before, this one could not be more different.

Her dignified stroll towards him a few minutes ago, with feelings streaming slowly down her face as her heart twisted inside of her, is nowhere near what she’s experiencing right now.   

The tears cannot be called that anymore, for they are no longer drops of water. A flood, conquering her eyes, muddy and unstoppable, running from her eyes and her nose and mixing with her cries into a complete mess.

Perhaps it would be more proper to call in an explosion, than a cry, a mix of howls and grunts exiting her body without a trace of warning nor preparation, fighting and crashing against one another on their way out.

The soft breaths of pain she displayed before are now long forgotten, her entire being conquered by a concoction of choked weeping and sobs and faltering breathings followed by loud gasps as all of her desperately attempts to get some sort of air supply to remain alive. 

Her body seems to be trying to coil around itself, still on the ground, head down on her legs and arms wrapped around her knees in what seems like an attempt to guard herself from the entire world, and all the pain within it.

The wails and whimpers carry on for a while, frozen in what could almost be described as a prayer-like position, while hugging herself for every second that it takes her to exorcise the many battling feelings and cast them away with this shaky, unrestrained and raw stream of tears.

Jacob is too strained, too tired, to react as he would usually do: crumbling into a million pieces after witnessing her doing so. Instead, he just stares for a few seconds, and starts moving.

The gap left between them is quickly closed with a few long steps and, after taking a moment to breathe, he crouches in front of her, remaining in complete silence as one of his hands moves to rest on her shoulder.

As if it were a black wire, the contact instantly grounds her, the defeated emotions redirecting away from her and flowing back into the earth, the cries fading little by little while the tears remain, all feelings escaping without resistance, while the one that prevails, still undefeated, quickly takes over her body.

To say Jacob is surprised, would be an understatement.

What seemed like pain only a few seconds ago shifts gradually into something different, brighter, and for a moment, he could swear her cries sound like giggles. After another, he hears the unthinkable.

Is she laughing?

His head scurries to the side trying to get a better angle of her face.

She is laughing, indeed. The tears are still there, but she’s laughing.

More than a thousand years of life, but nothing in them prepares him for this moment. Not a single clue of how to act, what to do. How to feel.

Nevertheless, the explanation needed doesn’t make itself wait and, as she recovers a more normal disposition, unwrapping herself to look at him, what’s left of her internal battle finally vanishes, leaving the entirety of the spotlight to the main victor.

“I thought this was it…”

Relief.

Lara wipes the tears aways, taking a few moments to catch up with her breathing.

“Thought it was over… You and I.” An incredulous giggle exits her body. “I…”

Jacob hugs her. 

He is exhausted, and hurt, and now he realizes he’s hurt her too, which puts him in extreme danger of continuing to fall into their well-known vicious cycle of pain and suffering, destroying themselves in a helpless loop of infinite guilt.

She did something to hurt him, which hurts her in return. He sees her hurt, so it hurts him too. And, in that fashion, they could torture each other until the end of time, if he was willing to let it continue.

He is not.

Instead, Jacob just hugs her. One hand on her lower back as the other buries in her hair, bringing her as close as he’s able, apology and forgiveness all melted into a deep and solid embrace.

She leans into it, with amends of her own, embracing her mistakes and their consequences tight within her arms, feeling as undeserving as ever while she takes in all the pain she’s caused him.

“Should it be over?” 

Lara’s voice is thin, shaky, almost a whisper, but her words aim at her target with strength and precision.

Jacob breaks the embrace, hands back at her arms, his eyes looking in hers for any kind of explanation that contradicts what he knows she really meant.

There’s none to be found, and still, he cannot fathom the idea.

“What…?” He shakes his head in disbelief, reluctant to even contemplate what she’s suggesting.

“After all I’ve done…” She looks down, summoning courage as her fears shape into words. “It’d be only natural. If you don’t, if you didn’t…” Lara has known the concept by heart for a while now, but still unable to say it out loud, she lets context fill in the gaps, and just adds a simple: “Anymore.”

“No…”

She doesn’t seem to hear his reply at first.

“You’d probably be better off without…”

She does the second time around.

“No.” Concise, powerful. Soft, yet strong enough to halt her line of thoughts. 

After a moment of emptiness, with only their breathing and the roar of the waterfall filling the surrounding air, Jacob moves his hand with care and redirects her chin to make her look at him.

He expects to see tears in her eyes. Instead, they're mostly filled with acceptance, which is somehow more successful at harming him.

“No.” He takes his time with this last one, letting room in his voice to let her know how much he really means it. “Never.”

Lara breathes deeply, shielding herself from the truth.

“I am broken.” She offers it as an explanation.

He isn’t willing to accept it.

“So am I.” Her eyes flicker with hesitation for an instant. “So is everyone.”

She fights back.

“You cannot love me…” Lara states, as if it were true, not sure who she’s really lying to. “No one can.”

Jacob sighs and lets his head fall onto hers for a few seconds, needing the pause so all of his thoughts can rearrange and shift to form the adequate words to express himself.

It’s easier to let her see his true feelings when he’s able to write them, to process them, to put them all in the right order before reexamining them to infinity before turning them into ink. 

Such rich emotions cannot be improvised into words, cannot be materialized without choking inside his throat or formed into something that makes complete sense. But for her, he’s willing to try.

After another sigh, he turns back to his previous position and decides to ignore all the turmoil, letting his instincts do the talking.

“I see you, Lara.” 

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

“I truly see you.”

He looks away, his mind searching for the right words for an instant, but he forces his eyes back to hers: say it as it is. 

“I’ve always seen you.” He smiles a little. “You.”

Her heart sinks a little by the way he says you. Lower, deeper, too many feelings tangled in such few letters.

“How could I not?”

Another pause. 

“How?”

Jacob shakes his head a couple of times and, for the first time in a while, offers her a subtle smile.

“And I think, you see me too.” He adds, after giving the idea a thought. “Know me well enough to trust my words, my feelings…” 

One last moment of silence.

“After all I’ve been through…” He corrects himself. “After all we’ve been through… Do you really think my sight is mistaken? Do you really think I cannot see you, You, and all of you, instead of this false idealized image you assume I must have created to be capable of loving you?”

Lara gulps and blinks a couple of times and he considers it a win, having in mind it is the first reaction she’s had since he started his impromptu speech.

Say it as it is. Jacob repeats again as a mantra inside his head, displaying his feelings as they are, bare just for her to do with them whatever she wishes.

“I, love, you, Lara. You.” 

The inflection in his voice, the way he says you, yet again, like that little word weighed tons more than any other in the dictionary, filled with so much affection and devotion that the three letters cannot do anything other than fall and plummet right straight into her heart.

“My feelings aren’t shallow, aren’t vain, nor hollow, either. I am not painting expectations or illusions into your skin and taking them as true, I am not shifting reality to cast upon you the shade I desire most. I’m not conjuring some sort of goddess and seeing her in you, Lara. In fact, it is the other way around.

I haven’t fallen, and then started to see my feelings on you… I saw you, I see you, and that’s why I’ve fallen. And you may not believe my words, Lara, but at least you can trust what I see.”

Her eyes are fixed on him, taking in all he’s saying completely frozen. Afraid, perhaps, of doing something that would halt his speech.

Lara’s heart bubbles inside her chest, her soul slithers through her body, all he says coating her pain and dissolving it into non-existence.

But she remains silent, and that gets her exactly what she wants: he keeps talking.

“I know there’s not a heroine in front of me, nor a saint or a martyr. I do not see or seek perfection in you. 

I know your story, I know your flaws. Your mistakes. I’m well aware that the horrors you suffered in order to survive equal the pain you have inflicted onto others to achieve that exact same goal.

So I can assure you that I am not lying to myself, putting you into a shiny armor, savior of the entire world and everyone in it, and ignoring anything else in front of my eyes.”

Usually, she would’ve been crying by now. And if she weren’t, that sentence would surely be the one to tip the scales and release the river. 

Usually.

But she doesn’t.

Her full concentration in what he’s saying, added to the fact that there may not be any tear left in her entire being, is powerful enough to prevent it. 

She feels too much to cry and, if she did, she wouldn't be able to keep hearing anything he’s saying.

And she’s not gonna let that happen.

“How could I ignore what’s really in front of my eyes? How could anyone?” 

Jacob combs her hair lovingly, pinning behind her ear the rogue strands that always manage to escape her ponytail. 

“I see how stubborn you are, your focus. I see you try, and fail, and yet, I see how you keep trying. Your courage and determination, your fire and rage. How your mind works, how your body follows it. 

The way you’ll stop at nothing to get your target. 

The way you’ll abandon your target to save a life.

I see your pain. I see your fears. I see your regrets.

No one, Lara, is undeserving of love. No one. 

But least of all, you.”

His other hand falls, slowly tracing her arm to link with hers, fingers lacing slowly, tugging a little with endearment. 

“I know why you may think so. I’ve been there too… But know that when I say that I love you, it’s really You who I’m talking about.”

The hand resting on her head moves slowly, adding it to his speech. 

“Perhaps for them,” he points towards the village, or towards the entire world, she’ll never know, “you may be little more than a tale, a legend. The unknown hero that materializes when it’s most needed and saves the day without asking for anything in return. But for me,” his hand turns to rest on his chest, “you’re not. You are not…” He smiles a little. “I know where you come from, why you came here. What your target was, and your motivation. I know why you abandoned it… Why you destroyed it.”

Memories fill the air as Lara understands what he’s truly saying. He’s seen her at her worst, but also at her best. He knew she wanted the source more than anyone, knew why she had to find it. For her, for her father. But he also knew why she helped them.

To save his people.

Why she destroyed it.

To save him.

Almost as if he could hear what she’s thinking, Jacob’s hand moves the exact same moment that those words form inside her head, leaving his chest in order to cup her face.

“You… Are You. Imperfect, headstrong… Unique.” His smile deepens. “Lethal, yet loyal. Solid, yet delicate.” 

Glee isn't able to describe Jacob’s feelings. Unadulterated joy radiating from him as his words travel the road of describing her to perfection.

“You’re the most beautiful soul to have ever graced this Earth with its existence… That, is what I see.”

He gets closer.

“How could you, for one moment, believe there’s a reality where I wouldn’t love you? Where I wouldn't care, or feel anything? Where I wouldn’t miss you, or fear for you? Where I wouldn't be terrified for your life? Where I wouldn’t be angry at your self-sacrifice?”

He laughs softly, fear and anger long gone, conquered by the love inspired by the same qualities that caused the anguish in the first place.

“Of course you volunteered as a human sacrifice, wouldn’t be you otherwise.”

Jacob sighs, but the smile is still there, as the conflicting notion that his fears and love are caused by the same thing manages to settle a newfound calm into his soul.

With most of his demons cast away, he falls into silence, leaving an empty floor she’s now more than willing to take in order to reply to the unanswered question she didn’t manage to form into words before. 

“I had to.” She says it as if she was telling him the sky is blue. An objective statement and decision, not a whim, nor a death wish.

“For the greater good?” 

Despite his words, there’s no judgment in his sentence, not anymore. More comfortable with the idea, now that he’s realized she wouldn’t be the woman he loves if she had done anything different, Jacob just wants to know and understand everything to completion.

Her voice trembles as she delivers her answer.

“For you…” 

“Lara…”

Whatever remark he’s about to make never takes form, her words cutting his off before he’s able to develop them any further.

“You keep asking me to survive, to live. Why would you think I’d feel any differently?”

“I’ve lived enough…” He insists.

So does she.

“Not for me… Not with me.” She moves to point a finger on top of his chest. “Of course I did it for you.”

As he puts his feelings into order, Jacob’s hand wraps around hers, keeping it glued to his heart so she can feel against it the truth of his words, accompanied by the loud beats that crash through him.

“In vain… You, wanting to die to save me, would’ve only managed to kill me.”

Lara brings their hands to her lips and plants a kiss on his, keeping them there for a moment before mirroring the original pose, moving them now to rest on top of her own heart.

“You got it all wrong.” She says, with the flicker of a smile painting her face. “I wasn’t trying to only save you; I was just fighting. For you. To protect your world. And yes, I put myself in danger, but it’s also what kept me going. In the end, it’s the reason I’m alive.”

Jacob looks confused for a moment, until she starts to explain herself.

“Told you I got the chance to change everything, change it all. My mistakes, my losses… They tempted me, offered me a different life, with my parents in it, without the suffering, without the pain… And I didn’t even hesitate, not for a second, because of you.

You.

I couldn’t risk You, Us. 

I couldn't change the world and erase the only thing worth fighting for. But, above all, I just couldn’t, after everything you’ve been through, after what happened here, I would never choose to have that power. No one… Should ever have that kind of power. You taught me that.”

Lara wears a full-on smile, unable to hold it back as her eyes focus on his reaction to her words: beaming love and pride in equal parts.

“So I fought for the future, instead, our future, for the chance to come back here, to see you again, to hold you.” 

And so she does, her free hand cupping his face as her mind retrieves for him a fragment of his letter.

“All in this world would be meaningless if you are no longer a part of it.”

Unable to contradict his own words Jacob laughs a little, resting his head on top of hers, taking the time to process it all.

After a while he stands up, and she watches him go toward the edge of the cliff, looking at the water just as he usually does, admiring how it falls and flows with its constant movement.

It takes Jacob a long minute to finally speak.

“You’d have broken me, you know that, right?”

She decides not to reply.

After all, he’s right. She knows that.

Instead, Lara just stands up, walks slowly to where he is, and hugs his back employing the lightest touch she’s able to summon, letting her arms wrap around him to provide the comfort he needs as he finishes saying what they both already know.

“Not knowing what happened to you, why it happened… It would've been my end too.”

She breaks the hug and, for a moment, he thinks he’s reopened a wound, when he was just trying to be honest, but when he turns to try and save her, he finds her calmly looking for something on one of the inside pockets of her jacket, on the opposite side where he knows she carries his letter.

“I…” She says, as she empties it, pulling out a somehow wrinkled envelope, but one that’s in way too good of shape to be the one he gave her years ago. 

Lara offers it to him.

“I know.” She admits, arm extended, waiting for him to take it. “I’ve read your words too many times to be aware of the pain I almost inflicted on you… ” She smiles at him. “So I thought maybe mine would be able to soothe it a little.”

He takes it with care, staring at the envelope as if he had just been gifted with a relic from God himself.

To Jacob.

“I was going to send it… Just in case, you know.” She grabs his chin and redirects him to look at her. “But then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” 

Her hand traces his jaw on its way to his hair, tangling in it to bring him closer to her. 

By the time their lips meet, his hands are on her too, holding her close, near, moving with care to explore her body. Nothing too haste, or hungry. Just a thousand feelings, slowly finding their way to be expressed into something real. 

Despite the softness of the exchange, Jacob needs a moment to focus once it's over, feeling overwhelmed, ever so slightly, as his mind tries its best to catch up with his heart.

Once he’s back to reality he smiles at her, letting her know he’s ready to keep listening.

“Gave it to someone I trusted, instead. I needed to think… To hope, that I’d be able to hand you this in person. That I’d come back to you.”

He looks at Lara one more time and then stares at the letter. Without asking, she nods as a reply, giving him permission to open it.

He’s more than ready.

Jacob seats at the edge of the cliff and breaks the seal.

With her mind suddenly replaying all she wrote and felt, Lara stares at him, and for a moment, she thinks of leaving him alone. Nevertheless, the thought is casted away almost immediately and, after gathering some resolve, she decides to sit by his side.

She takes in the scenery while he begins to read, not wanting to bother him but, just as it did with the Divine Source, her hand moves on its own, and her fingers intertwine with Jacob’s before she’s able to do anything to override that order.

Lara stares at the view of the valley, following Jacob’s ritual of getting lost into the many glimmers of the falling water, as this one focuses everything he is and gets sucked into the letter.

Despite not wanting to distract him, she simply cannot help herself, and contradicting her own wants, the contact remains unbroken.

Maybe I’m distr…

The thought never takes form.

By the way he strengthens the grip, radiating love and affection, it’s obvious that he doesn’t care.

And, after feeling every bit of it in the tender gesture, neither does she.

-----------------------------------------

Boom! Done with the angst. Next chapter -> The Third Letter Yaaaaaay~~ Now you know why the fic is named that way (most of you surely were expecting this moment for a while now)

Being the next one a letter, I can already tell you I'll take me less time than this one.

I mentioned the angst problem but, the other thing that made this longer than expected is that, after having the whole Jacob speech already written, I watched for the first time ever every season of Buffy the vampire slayer (in like, a week lol) and coming back to write this I realized most of his speech was almost identical to Spike's speech at the end of the series (the "I love what you are" one) and despite being a coincidence (like, I was amazed, because you cannot imagine the level of similarity) I felt like I needed to change my own (but I didn't want to completely change my vision), so it took me a while to find a new line similar to my original draft but not too similar to the one in btvs. So yeah. Also, I've spent a month reading spuffy fics, that may also have influenced how much this has taken me to write ehehehehehe Oh well... I have no regrets.

As always, feeling a bit unsure about the ending. Think it can be better, but I'm posting this today, so it'll have to do lol

Finally, and sorry for the long af note, wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my madness, means a lot. Still cannot believe this is over 4000 hits as of now. Feel free to leave a comment about whatever, they always cheer me up, motivate me to write more. In any case, thank you for reading this. Love you, and see you soon (fingers crossed) ~~tea

[dragonflight203]

Due to an extremely inconvenient power outage, I’ve read through The Dark Knight Strikes Again.

It’s… certainly an experience. For my sanity’s sake I’m treating it as a non-canon AU to The Dark Knight Returns.

I’m glad I read it to understand Frank Miller’s contributions to Batman better, but I would not recommend it for it’s own sake.

Comic

Title: Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again

Author: Frank Miller

Artist: Frank Miller

Year: 2001-2002

Overall Opinion

This is an awful comic and I’m baffled that DC published it.

The Dark Knight Rises is a tightly written story with ample foreshadowing and callbacks; The Dark Knight Strikes Again is mostly just a series of events and it’s not clear how they’re all related to each other.

It starts with a vaguely coherent plot – Bruce is rescuing heroes imprisoned by the US Government – and goes completely off the rails as it continues. It doesn’t have a conclusion so much as it just ends.

The dialogue gets increasingly awful and out of character in each volume.

There are a few scattered good moments throughout, but they don’t balance out the badness.

I would not recommend it to anyone, except maybe to demonstrate how Frank Miller’s work deteriorated over time.

Art

The art is hideous. The characters are out of proportion and I frequently struggled to make out what was going on in panels.

Feet and faces in particular suffer. Feet are normally way too large, and women nearly always have the same neutral face regardless of the events occurring.

Throughout volume two there are numerous full and two page spreads. They contribute little to the story, and their overuse makes me think Frank needed them to meet the required page count.

General

-Volume One is rough, but there’s a valid story buried in there.

Volume Two and Volume Three feel like caricatures of a comic. Mean caricatures. The characters are awful, the stories make little sense, and everyone is wildly out of character. It reads like Miller used the comic to work out his personal feelings, internal characterization and logic be damned.

Apparently 9/11 occurred while Miller wrote this comic, and that’s why quality nosedives so badly. He also had a lot going on in his personal life.

I’m side eyeing DC strongly for accepting it. After reviewing Volume 2 they should have shelved the comic and given Miller some time to put his life back in order before starting to publish it again.

-In Volume One, a Batboy kills someone. For that he gets a month of latrine duty. This is treated as a tragedy (and I still thought it an under reaction from Batman).

By Volume Three, Batman is cheering when a teen hero kills Luthor.

??? If the comic was an exploration of what could drive Batman to support killing, I could roll with this. But it’s not so much an exploration as a dive into the celebration of violence.

-What the hell is Dick’s deal?

There is no explanation for why he’s killing and torturing. Apparently, having a grudge against Batman is supposed to be sufficient reason.

Dick’s inclusion in the comic servers no purpose. He could easily be cut and it would be a tighter story.

-There are some genuinely interesting concepts in the comic that deserved a better story. Batman leading an army of Batboys, Lara channeling the power of the surviving Kryptonians, if flashes of the future are guaranteed to come true…

I’d like to see these ideas used in other comics, but they are not worth reading this comic for.

Plot

-The premise of the comic is ridiculous.

Bruce would not have retired quietly if superheroes were being kept prisoner. He may have ‘retired’ to slide under the radar, but he would have been actively planning how to free them.

And he would have know they were prisoners; a man who kept up with the technological developments of the US and the Soviets since ‘one of has to’ would know the whereabouts of his former allies.

Batman would have come out of retirement a long time ago if this was canon to TDKR.

-How does Luthor not know about Lara? He claims to have spies everywhere, including Themyscira, yet somehow doesn’t know about Superman and Wonder Woman’s daughter.

How convenient.

-It takes Bruce way too long to catch onto the fact that Luthor is using Kandor to blackmail Superman.

Bruce somehow learns the location of Luthor’s blackmail database and ALL of its backups, yet he doesn’t know Luthor has Kandor. He thinks Superman is acting of his own volition.

Sure, that’s logical.

-Everything to do with Arkham is nonsensical.

To start, the timeline doesn’t make sense. TKDR occurred three years ago. Arkham released Harvey Dent and Joker during it.

In TDKSA, the inmates supposedly took over Arkahm five years ago. They’re also cannibals – not out of necessity, apparently just for the lolz. No mention is made of them attempting to leave Arkham.

And everyone’s just fine leaving them to it.

As a reminder: This did not drive Bruce out of retirement. A kidnapping and watching Zorro is what pushed him over the edge.

Present day Batman still doesn’t do anything. Just frees Plastic Man and leaves.

Very believable.

-The rest of volumes two and three are just train wrecks. Don’t think too hard about them, just roll with it.

-It’s mentioned at the end that Bruce loves Carrie.

It’s stated that she’s the daughter he never had, and I’m clinging to that and actively ignoring the vaguely romantic overtones of the final pages.

Characters

-Why is Carrie Catgirl now?

She’s only 16. That’s a normal age for a Robin.

If she wanted to stand on her own, why Catgirl? Why not Catwoman?

Why cat related at all? Carrie doesn’t have any ties to Selina that I know of.

(It better not be to foreshadow her as Bruce’s love interest, since Catwoman frequently is one.)

-Wonder Woman’s dialogue to get Superman out of a stupor is terrible.

This comic was written in the 2000s, it should be past the idea that woman are prizes:

Wonder Woman: “Where is the man who stole my Amazon heart? Where is the hero who threw me to the ground and took me as his rightful prize? Where is the god whose passion shattered a mountaintop?”