#land of bad movie review

[thehemsworld]

Assisti o novo filme do Liam, e nossa como é bom. Cheio de ação, explosão, correria e o elenco tá incrível. Liam tá incrível e realmente evoluindo muito como ator, excelente filme.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s hard to deny that in the 2000s, Will Ferrell was the comedy star. Starting off with minor roles in stuff like Austin Powers and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ferrell hit it big in 2003 with the Christmas classic Elf, and then followed that up with the wacky newscaster comedy masterpiece Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. From there, the hits just kept coming: Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, Blades of Glory, Stranger Than Fiction, Curious George, and even a hilarious one-scene cameo in the Wedding Crashers. The man was on top of the world!

But then came 2009’s Land of the Lost. Based on a campy 70s sci-fi series, the movie was a pretty big bomb coming from such a massively successful actor; on a budget of a hundred million, it only managed to make about sixty-nine million back. Director Brad Silberling was relegated to producing TV after this, and poor Ferrell’s prospects as a leading man completely shriveled up overnight. After this, he basically has only co-starred in stuff like The Other Guys or done voice work for films like Megamind and The Lego Movie. Any attempts to get him back on top have been pretty middling, to put it lightly; does anyone remember Anchorman’s sequel? Does anyone want to remember Holmes & Watson?

But come on, it’s a 2000s Will Ferrell comedy! He was in his prime back then! Surely this wacky spoof of some goofy show from the 70s couldn’t honestly be that bad, right? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Was it justice that Will Ferrell’s promising leading man rep was lost harder than a Sleestak’s skin during sex, or is this a hidden gem unfairly judged because people didn’t understand it was meant to be a parody?

THE GOOD

The Sleestaks are easily the best part of the film, at least when they don’t have those awful CGI mouths transplanted on them. The suits look great, they’re weirdly adorable lizard people, and they mercifully didn’t go with the awful, edgy redesign from the 90s reboot. These guys are pure goofy 70s camp. 

The score of all things is solid too. Michael fucking Giacchino did the score! And it fucking rocks! Unbelievable!

...Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

THE BAD

Oh where do I even fucking start? How about with Ferrell himself?

Look, I’m a big Will Ferrell apologist. His comedies tend to be absurdly lowbrow, especially something like Step Brothers, but he has a certain manic energy that makes him fun to watch. Here, though? All of the negative aspects of his acting are cranked up t eleven. He’s shoutier, he’s douchier, he’s just obnoxious and ridiculous… He’s just utterly unpleasant in this role.

It’s not like anyone else is remotely pleasant, though! Danny McBride especially is obnoxious in this film, and Anna Friel is boring and forgettable, but as bad as they are neither of their characters hold a candle to Chaka. Played by Jorma Taccone (of all fucking people!), he is an obnoxious chattering monkey man who is basically treated like a servant and who is played so obnoxiously that I swear to God he feels like he’s racist somehow. I don’t know what race this would offend, but it just has some sort of rancid vibes that only a racist caricature does.

The CGI throughout this film is just utterly ass. Like there is an awful CGI dinosaur antagonist, and at one point Will Ferrell vaults into its mouth, and at another he slides down its back, and both of them are effects so bad they make Sharktopus look like Avatar in comparison. I’m guessing that hundred million mostly went to Ferrell’s paycheck and the Sleestak suits, because it sure as hell didn’t go into the visuals.

Truly the worst thing about this movie is that its very existence feels cruel and mean-spirited. I have never watched the original show at all, but this parody is absolutely barefaced with its contempt for the source material. It just oozes a lack of care, passion, or respect beyond surface level stuff like the Sleestaks; do you know how much the characters are mangled from the show to the screen? The big bad of this movie is a fucking ally on the show! Imagine if they made a movie based on Scooby-Doo and they made oh, I don’t know, Scrappy a villain, wouldn’t that fucking su—wait.

At least in that movie’s case it was one singular lame element. This movie is just an excruciating exercise in being as lame and unpleasant as possible. It genuinely feels like it was just made because they had the rights to Land of the Lost and then they remembered the name of Ferrell’s character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and decided they needed a Ferrell vehicle.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I know absolutely nothing about this series. I have no emotional attachment to it at all. I’ve never seen a single episode. But I don’t think you even have to watch a single episode to know that this movie is a slap in the face to fans of it. The entire thing just feels spiteful, and coming from a place of sheer malice. Yes, this film is that fucking bad, I can totally see why it blew up Ferrell’s career, and honestly it should count itself lucky that it has been forgotten because I say this film deserves even more hate. This is The Love Guru levels of bad. That 5.3 up there is beyond generous; this is easily a contender for the bottom 100 of IMDB, but I guess that would require anyone to give a shit about it.

But hey, as a non-fan, maybe my opinion doesn’t hold as much weight as what a truefan of the series would say. Thankfully, I have one of those on call, and here’s his summation of this film’s quality:

Hey, it’s me, @unadulteratedpiratepizza​, and I’m here to take you on a journey back in time! Long before streaming services, TV shows aired their new episodes on different designated times and days of the week, and Saturday mornings were the slot for new episodes of children’s programming. Back in the 70’s, long before me and Michael were born, the brothers Sid and Marty Kroft were the kings of that time slot, with their bizarre plots and expert use of their low budget, bringing us classics such as H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, and the subject of today’s review, Land of the Lost.

Land of the Lost was a high-concept soft Sci-Fi series exploring the adventures of Rick Marshall and his children Will and Holly, as they explore a bizarre world full of danger and mystery. They must survive hungry dinos, aggressive lizard people, and even time-displaced humans, as they search for the truth of this world and a way to get back home.

Unlike the high energy upbeat shows the Kroffts were known for, LotL was more serious in tone at times, with a pretty consistent world and strong stories. LotL had a team of prolific Sci-Fi writers, a number of which worked on the original Star Trek, which had the effect of some of the stories feeling like TOS episodes. No jokes, “The Stranger '' is such a strong episode with heavy Star Trek vibes, written by Walter Koenig, the actor for TOS’s Chekov.

When I said the Kroffts knew how to use a low budget I meant it, using stop-motion for all the dinos and reusing that footage constantly, cheap costumes and goofy special effects, this show had it all! But, you could have the best special effects in the world and that would amount to nothing without strong acting, and boy does Land of the Lost deliver on that. Everyone is bringing 110% to this show, which is so surprising given that child actors aren’t usually considered the best for serious roles, but when I hear these children scream for their lives as goofy costumed lizardmen shamble towards them, by god I feel like the Sleestak are the most terrifying creatures in the world.

All and all, Land of the Lost was a strong and fun show that took its world seriously, but still had plenty of room for light-hearted fun. It is unfortunate that by the 3rd and final season, most of the writers had moved on, and the actor who played the dad had also left, leaving it the weakest of the three, but I can still say this is a show I highly recommend, especially if you like old Star Trek.

The 2009 Will Ferrell led remake sucks.

And I think that’s all that needs to be said about that. Anyway, here’s a picture of a nightmarish, terrifying predator with a couple of Sleestaks. 

[thenefilim]

Review - Land of Bad (2024)

When a simple rescue mission goes wrong, an inexperienced fighter has to work with a drone operator on the other side of the globe to get his team out alive.

https://www.voicesfromthebalcony.com/2024/02/15/land-of-bad-2024-review/

[kacic1]

A todos, boa noite!

Hoje convido vocês a visitarem Os Filmes do Kacic, para conferir minha crítica sobre este empolgante thriller de ação estrelado por Liam Hemsworth, Milo Ventimiglia e Russell Crowe, e que estreia nos cinemas brasileiros no dia 22 de fevereiro. Texto imperdível e sem spoilers!

Crítica: ZONA DE RISCO (LAND OF BAD) | 2024

[unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog]

The Story The Story is about a young teen who ends up in a zombie apocalypse. The film is barebones, which would be fine if it was funny. But it isn't. It barely tries to make any attempts to make you laugh, but the jokes either give you a minor chuckle or makes you cringe at it's terribleness. They even couldn't do the black comedy right, especially with one of the death scenes, where they couldn't decide if the scene should be tragic or funny, so it tries to do both, but it just FAILS terribly! The film is also full of plot holes and the characters making stupid decisions for the sake of moving the plot along. And they don't even add any jokes to add to the film's ridiculous nature, making you bored by the film. The Characters The Characters are as generic as they come. We have the "relatable" dweeb, the crazy badass, the no nonsense girl and the little sister, and none of them play off each other very well. They just make unwitty, predictable remarks reminiscent of a generic high school comedy! And we are STUCK with these four characters, there is only one side character, but they only added him to bring in a celebrity cameo. Even the actors act like they don't care, they seem like they are only in this because they needed to pay a debit they made with the mafia (even THAT story would of made a better comedy than this!) The Special Effects Even the gory scenes in this movie is crap. It is not over the top enough to add to the film's ridiculousness and it isn't realistic enough to add a realistic tension to the film, it's just disappointing. The rest of the effects are just barebones. They don't go for the cheap, B-movie style or go with the hyper-realistic Effects. Again, this just shows that the creators had NO idea how to make a black comedy! Final Thoughts Overall, this is just a cheap, Hollywood cash-in to take advantage of the young teen crowd. The Story is dull and unfunny, the characters just don't work off each other to make the film work and the Special Effects are cheap and lazy (and not the good kind!) A bad comedy makes a BORING film and I was BORED by this film! Heck, "The Host" a wannabe serious film is MUCH more funny and entertaining than this film! If you want to watch a funny zombie apocalypse film, go watch Shaun of the Dead. The Characters work off each other so well and the jokes are ACTUALLY funny! So watch that film instead of this rotten corpse Hollywood threw out onto the public street! The Story 2/5 The Characters 0.5/5 The Special Effects 2/5 Overall 1.5/5

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Land of Bad (Eubank, 2024)

I'm not the first person to mention how Russell Crowe, as he's put on weight, has evolved into a different but undeniably interesting actor. We're thankfully past the era of fat guy actors being played for cheap jokes, and Crowe uses his girth to imbue his characters with a certain gravitas and a certain aggrieved quality. His character here is a drone pilot who's very good at his job but frustrated that he isn't taken seriously, and takes personal investment in rescuing a special forces operative played by Liam Hemsworth when his team's mission goes awry, but does it all from behind his desk. It's like they made a movie where Dennis Nedry is the hero, or an aspirational tale for gamers.

There are similarities here with Crowe's role in Body of Lies, in that both characters are making life and death decisions remotely from thousands of miles away. The difference is that in Body of Lies, that distance leads to a certain detachment that makes Crowe's decision making all the more cold and ruthless, while here Crowe forms a direct connection with the operative on the ground through his tools. Anyway, I think it would be fun to have Russell Crowe as your personal hype man and guardian angel, giving you motivating speeches in your ear and protecting you through the magic of drone strikes. I imagine that's what the more expensive Tony Robbins tickets get you.

It's a cliche to compare action movies to video games, but the element of distance makes this play not so much like a shooter as an RTS, like a Starcraft mission where you have to get your Ghost to the extraction point and have no help other than the occasional Scanner Sweep or tactical nuke strike. (It's been ages since I've played Starcraft and I was always terrible at it, so forgive me if I got some of the jargon wrong.) The movie drags at times and really should have been ninety minutes, but I do think it deserves credit for juggling the field and base scenes in a way that feels organic and sometimes creates tension through unexpected juxtapositions, and for actually shooting in the wilderness. I do wish the special forces team were played by actors with stronger presences, as the off brand Hemsworth brothers seem to fade from memory as they're onscreen. It makes you appreciate something like Navy Seals all the more for its wisdom in casting Michael Biehn, Dennis Haysbert, Bill Paxton and even Charlie Sheen.

[dashiellqvverty]

looking at negative reviews of drive away dolls and so many of them are so ridiculous <3 it is by no means a perfect film and very much not for everyone like you do not Have To Like it... but so many of the takes are just like "ugh of course this was made by A Straight Man" (and the ppl who acknowledge, but cannot wrap their heads around, whatever ethan coen and tricia cooke have going on). like people are DISGUSTED by it and particularly t.e/rf/s of course (bc it "centers men/penises") and its like.... sorry you hate fun idk

[thecinemacritic]

REVIEW: Land of Bad is a familiar and generic, but entertaining and well directed action thriller, with a solid cast and some enjoyable action set pieces.

[ondeemand]

Transformers One Review

For the sake of convenience, I’ll be referring to the characters as their new names (Optimus Prime, Megatron, Bumblebee) instead of their old ones (Orion Pax, D-16, B-127).

Also, I didn’t grow up with Transformers, so this will be mostly from an outsider’s perspective. I can’t tell what possibly was or wasn’t a retcon or how accurate to the source material it was, but I think the background info on their world held up very well and they were able to explain it clearly to new viewers like me. It definitely would have hit harder if I grew up with Transformers and knew more than just facts from cultural osmosis, but I still enjoyed the movie a lot.

Notes/Things I’m Neutral On

Very weird to hear my name (Dee) being said throughout most of the movie by Chris Hemsworth’s bad American accent.

Also, I forgot that Megatron has transformed into ground vehicles before. I only ever knew him to turn into a jet, so I was kind of confused that he was a tank in this movie. I hope we get to see him get upgraded to a jet in the next one, but the tank is still cool.

Pros/Things I Liked

Simple but effective color theory with their eye colors. Main good guys have blue while Megatron has yellow, sitting between good and bad. Still a friendly color at first, but slowly turns closer to orange and then fully red as his anger and hatred consume him (and after he met the red-eyed Starscream, a cowardly man who ends up enabling Megatron‘s more violent/aggressive tendencies)

○ Also I don’t know if I was just seeing things, but it looked like Megatron’s eyes got more yellow whenever he looked at Optimus which is so sad and so gay.

I really thought they were gonna push a romance between Elita and either Bumblebee (goofy manchild x competent woman trope) or Optimus (male lead x female lead, blue x pink), but I was pleasantly surprised that they didn’t. Sadly, there’s still time for it in future installments, but I can dream.

Not to be gay, but spider woman sexy. Airachnid was so obviously evil that it was funny, but I can’t fault Sentinel for having her around because I, too, would want a deadly goth woman to be my right-hand lady. They felt like the evil, less developed versions of Mustang and Hawkeye. I am in love.

The animation is gorgeousssss. The environments, the character designs, the fight choreography, the transformations, the lighting, the texture, mwah mwah MWAH STUNNING!!!

○ Sorry, I’m never gonna stop talking about this. The way they were able to make square/blocky figures move so fluidly was fantastic (and proof of concept that a fully animated Minecraft movie would have worked). ○ The camera angles were also great for framing both the dramatic, intense, and/or high-action moments like fights or chase scenes, while also adding a lot to the comedic moments. Like when the camera stays tracking Optimus’ face when running through the forest, only for him to suddenly fall down a cliff neither he nor us saw coming, only to then zoom out to the perspective of the guards below, showing them stumbling and falling. ○ The contrast between the mechanical and organic elements on the surface were really cool, and the way it was introduced was able to convey this idea that organic life was this strange, alien thing. ○ The way the surface just rebuilds itself into these jagged, blocky terrains was really unique and interesting! It felt like a glitched computer model because of its rougher shapes which really added to the fear and hostility of the surface.

90% of their jokes landed and they landed hard. The bit where Optimus looks like he’s about to transform and then just fucking books it is incredible. The audio and camera work help add to these as well, like the music building as Optimus pretends to transform, the camera zooming in close to different parts of him, only for all background noise to cut out as it shows Optimus running away. I won’t name every joke and quip I found funny or we’d be here all day, but they’re certainly a highlight of the movie.

I love Keegan-Michael Key, but I wasn’t a fan of him as the comic relief character of Toad in the Mario movie. When Bumblebee showed up I got a little nervous, but I really loved his performance of the character.

I really liked the midpoint pep talk about hope. That’s a really nice reason that Optimus is the leader despite not being as skilled as other people. He has the hope for a better future and it was a core part of his character from the beginning, and I really like the idea that a leader is someone who can envision a brighter future no matter what.

Alpha Trion transforming was SICK AS FUCK!!! I love that he was more animalistic when the rest of the cast become vehicles. His final fight was so cool, and it actually made me kind of emotional to see him at the end with the rest of the Prime ghosts.

The stabbings? The beheadings?? The branding??? The way Megatron tore Sentinel in half and then ripped his heart out on-screen holy shit???? This movie was incredibly brutal and I loved it. It’s such an interesting phenomenon that children’s media is allowed to be about as graphic as they want as long as it’s against robots, even incredibly sentient ones like in the Transformers series.

○ I watched the 1986 Transformers movie for a class earlier this year, and while it also had a lot of brutality in it’s fights, the new movie felt more intense. Part of this could be attributed to me watching the 2024 movie on a big screen vs the 1986 movie in my living room, but there are other reasons as well. The 1986 movie had more upbeat songs playing over the fights, specifically songs like The Touch and Dare, which helped keep the tone lighter and more exciting. The 2024 movie didn’t have anything like that, allowing the action, while still cool and exciting, to take on a more serious tone. This is also emphasized by the graphics of the movie being 3D instead of 2D. While the 2D 1986 movie is a stunning masterpiece, people still view it with the idea in mind that, since it’s a cartoon, the stakes and story will be less intense. The 2024 movie being 3D with very detailed graphics and lighting already has more visual intensity. The characters are still these bright, poppy colors, but they can come across more moody and dark due to the environments, lighting, and textures that the 3D medium more easily allows. And while the painted backgrounds and cell shading of the old movie are great, the CGI backgrounds are a lot closer to realism, so the harsher elements like metal and rock, which make up a vast majority of the environment and characters, look real too.

The way Megatron’s hate consumed him to the point where he started acting more villainous and, while not entirely similar to Sentinel, still ended up hurting innocent people was tragic. Trying to push away and deny everything about a person only to wind up being just like them. This was perfectly shown in the end credit scene where Megatron is branding himself and the new Decepticons with Megatronus Prime’s face. To him, it may be him reclaiming the traumatic experience and literally using it like a badge of honor, as well as thinking he’s honoring Megatronus Prime. But in reality, he’s just inflicting the same trauma done to him onto others, just like Sentinel. Such a cool way to show how every villain is the hero of their own story.

The doomed yaoiiiiii I’m never gonna get over them. The only other Transformers media I’ve consumed is the 1986 movie, which kills off Optimus Prime in the first 25 minutes and Megatron becomes Galvatron, so I never knew the depths of their homoerotic relationship.

I’m a sucker for “the hero and villain used the be friends (and maybe even lovers?)” trope, so Optimus and Megatron’s relationship and the general premise of the movie was already a slam dunk for me.

I’m also a fan of legacy stories like Avatar and She-Ra. While this movie didn’t get as in-depth with the concept, I enjoyed that they played with the idea of legacy and taking up the mantle of the former Primes.

I absolutely loved the end message that Optimus gives us. Hope, freedom, and autonomy are incredibly important things to learn, and as a trans person who very much wants to keep control over what I do with my body, I really resonated with that last one. I think it’s really cool that they included a message like that in this children’s movie about robots that turn into cars.

Regarding the message of autonomy, I love that it gives the term Autobots a new meaning. Auto meaning “automobile”, since they transform into cars, and Auto meaning “self”, as they are now fully their own bots with control over themselves.

Cons/Things I Disliked

Mid vocal performances from everyone except Brian Tyree Henry and Keegan-Michael Key. And as I mentioned before, it was hard not to focus on Chris’ attempts at an American accent, not to mention how recognizable his, as well as Scarlett Johansson’s, voices are.

The plot felt a little disjointed in the first 1/3-ish.

○ Good setup with the main characters being an oppressed working class with one dreaming of better things and the other hesitant to fall out of line or take risks. But then suddenly there’s a race, and then they’re in it, and then they lose, and then their leader wants to promote them. At first it feels like there are hints that he’s a scummy celebrity-type and that meeting their hero is what will spur on the disillusionment with their society. But then some random douchebag that doesn’t like them reassigns them which goes against their leader’s command, and that’s how the plot kicks off? ○ Also, Elita’s involvement felt kind of rushed/hand-waved. They all get stuck on the surface, but instead of trying to make her way back to report them like she was saying she would for the past few minutes, she makes a complete 180 and heads the expedition herself. ○ It all just felt a little strange, but once it got going the rest of the plot felt fine.

Megatron’s descent into “evil” felt kind of rushed. I understand that he feels betrayed and I really love where the character ends up by the end, but it felt like a real 180 without a lot of build up.

Some jokes fell flat or felt annoying and kinda cringe. That’s the territory of children’s movies though, so par for the course.

TLDR

Overall, this movie was a really fun watch and I’d love to go see it again. While some parts fall a little flat, the movie is lifted from mediocrity by its many Pros. From the stunning visuals, to the quick humor, to the tragic origins of two friends driven apart by their ideals, I’d recommend this movie to anyone interested in animation or the Transformers brand.

8.82/10

[winterzxsoldierz]

War Child

Part one

Bucky Barnes x (Fem) Reader

Avengers x (Fem) Reader

Warnings: Blood, mention of deaths, other creepy hydra shit, bad language words (lol) and a lot more other warnings, so be prepared.

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton (Sometimes) Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner (Sometimes) Thor Odison, Loki Laufeyson, Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, Yelena Belova, Arnim Zola,

Description: You're a hydra experiment or had been one since you were young, For years you lived within the cold walls of Siberia and when you finally get free, faces from the past and demons come out to haunt you Reader is an enchanted superhuman, she has the super soldier serum giving her, super speed, super strength, a healing factor, fast metabolism, endurance, strong lung capacity & etc, she also has both fire and ice magic. The time line in this will review the past and present. Reader can look anyway you want. Her soon love interest will be Bucky. Authors Note: Please know that none of these characters belong to me, they belong to marvel, Y/N is your character of choice. also your thoughts will be orange, Bucky's thoughts will be blue and the others will be purple

Avengers tower present 9:34 am Avengers pov

Gathered around table enjoying breakfast and conversation sits the avengers, everyone seems happy, Bucky and Loki bantering with one another about who can do bad better, Steve acting like a mom and Tony being the overgrown brat, Wanda, Natasha and Yelena talking quietly amongst each other in sokovian, then there's Peter, Pietro, Sam and Thor arguing about how many bad guys they can beat in a fight, like family they're fun and chaotic. Everything seemed to go quiet when the leather jacket wearing, eye patched man walks in with a file and flash drive, the atmosphere once relaxed and playful now tense and serious, as all eyes land on the director Nick Fury. "Hope i'm not souring the mood." he says his tone, dripping with his usual uncaring sarcasm. "Anyways." he continues, "We have a problem, a big one, a loose cannon hydra related one." He sets down the file on the middle of the table and Bucky is the first to grab it, the minute he opens it, the color from his face drains, there it was a whole section dedicated to you, a ghost is what you are, one he was made to train when he was The winter soldier, a deadly weapon is what you became, just like him, but unlike him, he was captured, but you, you were born and raised into a hell, and turned into something so deadly.

Steve looks at Bucky and raises a brow in concern and curiosity, Steve pauses debating whether he should say anything but he decides to anyway, "Hey Buck, you alright, you look a little pale." Bucky snaps out of his current thoughts and glances at Steve and the rest of the team and he swallows, a shaky sigh leaving his lips and he says "I know her, i knew her." Every member of the team gives each other looks before nodding and taking turns to look at the entire file and Sam speaks "So where do we start?"

Italy present

Your Pov I arrive back into my rented apartment, after getting some needed food and water, i knew my time here in Italy was running thin but there was something about this place i liked, i couldn't get comfortable though, it was only a matter of time before the devil came knocking. After heating up a simple tv dinner, i sit on the small couch in my living room watching the old school box television, it's on the news channel, the headlines read "Avengers strike once again saving over a hundred innocent civilians from a hostage situation with the terrorist group known as HYDRA." A sigh leaves me and i start eating as i change the channel to a cartoon, it wasn't one i've seen before, it was a blonde with really long hair and a pretty purple dress, now interested i continue to watch the movie and finish my dinner, soon i set my plate aside and just watch tv, i was enjoying the movie more than i'd like to admit. Berlin 1953 (Past & your nightmare) "Papa, i don't understand what you want me to do, you little voice trembles as you look up at the man in front of you, he stare you down and pats you head, his German accent thick as he speaks, "In time, you will learn to master the gift i have given you my child." a grin spreads on Zola's lips, to you it seemed innocent but only if you knew it was anything but innocent.

Your Pov (Present) I jolted awake in a slight sweat, my eyes dart around the room, weariness and confusion etched on my features, i thought i was back hom-there, but i'm in my living room, i'm in Italy, i swallow and wipe my forehead with the sleeve of my sweater and i stand up, my steps are silent on the wood floors as i walk into the kitchen, i fill me a glass of water and gulp it down as if i was a man stuck in the desert. my hands are shaky as i set the glass down and stare at the dark curtained covered windows. "He's gone, no longer here." i tell myself and i make my way to my bathroom, a shower was much needed to calm myself.

Berlin 1954 (Past & Bucky's nightmare) "Soldat! you're back with the stuff." Zola hums in approval and takes the metal case from the winter soldier, he snaps his fingers for the soldier to follow him and the soldier complies without question. Zola leads the soldier into the lab, for a moment the soldier tenses, he didn't think he had another procedure today but then his eyes falls onto you, a girl strapped down onto a table asleep, he blinks, he couldn't tell if it was worry, or surprise but he manages to school it like he was taught, the soldiers eyes follow Zola as he pulls out the bag of super serum, it was a cheap one, not to affective but it'll still work, just not like his, the soldier watches as Zola sticks it into an IV like bag and he watches as Zola stick the IV into you and slowly the serum makes it way to your skin and finally it slips into your blood stream making you jolt in pain and cry out.

Avengers tower (Present) Bucky's room Bucky's Pov His eyes snap open quickly and they dart around, checking for any signs of danger or anyone one at all, nothing it's all silent except for his racing heart and his own breathing, his brows are furrowed as he recalls the nightmare, that day, the day when Karpor made him bring that serum to Zola, that day where your life would change for ever and not for the good, a wave of guilt floods through Bucky as he thinks about that day, how he just watched, and stood there as that evil son of a bitch gave you that serum with no remorse as he hurt and changed you drastically. Bucky knew he had to find you, hell he knew you were lost and confused like he was and like he had steve, you'll have him.

Let me know what you think, i will definitely be making different parts to this story, i'm pausing my other story to work on this one since i had this longer and like this better. Part two is being worked on so stay tuned.

Tag list: @sapphirebarnes i know you wanted to be tagged in my other post but i'm keeping that on hold right now, so i hope you like this one just as much.

[leviaana]

Miraculous Movie Review (Rating: 4/10)

I watched the preview of the Awakening movie yesterday and really want to share my honest review. There’s going to be several things that I’ll criticize. So be warned!

Also: Spoilers!! DON’T read it if you haven’t seen it yet. This is my personal opinion. So please stay excited for it!! 🐞🪄

First of all, my overall rating for this movie is a 4/10. Just yesterday I was ready to give it a 5/10, but quickly noticed it had much more things that upset me than I initially realized when walking out of the movie.

I know it’s a pretty low rating coming from such a huge fan like myself, but that’s probably the main issue. I’m a big fan of the show, so changes in lore and characterization will be more apparent to me. For better or for worse, in this case, mostly for worse.

On the first glimpse the movie seems like a retelling - a soft reboot, if you will - of show’s origin story. The plot goes much further than that however, as it also provides a conclusion in form of a final battle with Hawkmoth as well as an identity reveal of our two main heroes.

In order to ensure the entire premise fits into a 90 minute movie, a lot of things regarding the shows lore were simplified. I say that as a neutral statement seeing as a simplification can be either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your opinion of the source material.

Personally, it left me rather unsatisfied but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start with the good things!

One of the things I really enjoyed was the animation! Seeing miraculous with such a high production value certainly felt like a cool summer breeze. While I do prefer the original character models style wise, it was still just nice to see them in this cutesie pretty style! The locals were gagging!

Ladybug and Cat Noir were especially gorgeous!

I also really enjoyed the singing. I watched the German dub and it was very neat!

Sad to say that was pretty much how long my enjoyment lasted. Everything apart from what I’ve mentioned above was… interestingly handled… to say the least. Let me elaborate.

1. The dialogue was awful!

Truly not the biggest fan of musicals but I couldn’t wait for them to start singing just in order for them to STOP TALKING 😩!

The dialogue was so awkward and stiff. All of the characters were interacting very weirdly with each other. At times it would sound like several lines of dialogue were cut from the final version, as the characters barely acknowledged each other verbally. They didn’t talk with each other, but past each other.

Moreover, every second phrase was a very cheesy one liner. “Believe in yourself.”, “Listen to your heart.”, “stronger together”. Super overdone.

The movie wanted to be inspirational so bad, it forgot to be genuine.

Some examples that I recall from memory:

“Mom, I don’t have any friends and I’m scared to go I school.”

“Just believe in yourself, Marinette.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Or.

“Tikki, I’m in love with Adrien.”

“Listen to your heart, Marinette.”

“My heart……Adrien.”

2. How did they manage to make Ladynoir banter … weird and uncomfortable to watch?

Don’t let these pretty movie shots fool you because Movie!ladynoir spent their time in a constant roasting competition that they were somehow both losing!

Not once did they manage to establish that flirty and charming atmosphere around them. No, they were draaaagging each other through filth. And maybe it could have been somewhat fun, god knows I love couples that can roast each other. If only the dialogue was better and didn’t reek of “we have no idea how young people interact”.

In a desperate attempt to make jokes, they let Chat call LB a sidekick or watermelon in every. single. scene. To say that it got annoying when the jokes didn’t land the first 10 times they were made is an understatement. No Milady, no Bugginette, no little wink or a kiss on the hand. Only watermelon and sidekick. Them talking in weird cut off phrases. With careless whisper playing in the background.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful moments. But their beauty can only ever do so much when met with weird pacing, dialogue and characterization. I’ll talk about that last part in a minute.

3. Everything was so on-the-nose.

The characters would constantly say how they feel and what they think aloud. Jeremy didn’t trust us with even an ounce of media literacy. Classic case of always telling, never showing. Not to mention the constant inspirational quoting in a desperate attempt to convey some deep message. Is this a movie script or my moms facebook page? I guess we‘ll never know.

4. Characterization: Marinette

Having Marinette be somewhat scatterbrained but overall still respected by her peers is not inspirational enough! Make her your average teenage outcast and a total loser. Dad, you’re embarrassing me in front of the cool kids!

If you enjoy that kind of characterization that’s okay! Personally, I thought it was very cliche. It just.. didn’t do anything for her as a character. Having her start off at a much „lower” point in life, with almost no support system, only makes her coming of age journey to eventually become a self accepting confident heroine take longer. Seeing as the movie is only 90 minutes, the moment we see her “shine” is when it’s all almost over.

5. Ladybug …?

Did I mention Ladybug doesn’t use her lucky charm? Not. once. No crazy plans to show that she’s smart and creative. Just a pretty girl swinging around.

6. Adrien

I have a bit more to criticize about the characterization of Movie!Adrien.

The longer I think about it, the more it becomes apparent that they really didn’t know how to write Adrien. His personality appears inconsistent, almost like they were trying to fit him in too many roles at once. He is either extremely closed off and mysterious (even towards his friends), a comic relief character, bathing in self pity or just outright cocky. Those hoping to see his politeness and selflessness will be disappointed. This character only is ever shown to be self centered. A perfect example is how he *didn’t do anything* to be called worthy of the Black Cat Miraculous. He was just one of the „chosen ones“. When the Adrien from the series sacrificed his own freedom to help Master Fu.

Another example is how this Adrien doesn’t really see anything in Marinette. He called her strange in their first interaction and never really lost a single thought on her throughout the rest of the series. No common praises, no support, just awkwardness and not the wholesome kind. In fact, I would argue Marinette and Adrien aren’t even friends in the movie, the only interaction to suggest otherwise was slammed as a 5 second scene in a 2 minute montage.

Even if you were to suggest their bond was formed off screen. We don’t really see it ever take root. He even turned down her gift and invitation to go to the ball with her. Yes, you guessed correctly. It was because he was busy bathing in self pity over being rejected by Ladybug. Yikes.

To sum it up, this Adrien really doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Ever. They massacred my boy.

7. Chat Noir

His charming smugness as Chat Noir crossed the fine line that turned to arrogance.

Considering how Adrien was characterized, that comes as no surprise.

As mentioned in my criticism towards the dialogue and the Ladynoir dynamic, this Cat is often seen discrediting LB with unfunny jokes. The moment you see him actually appreciate Ladybug, open up to her and Woo her, it’s all overshadowed by his entitlement to her affection.

Some may argue that we see traces of such attitude in the show as well. However, in a series, Chat Noir has many redeeming qualities as well as time to grow, change and move past these flaws. And boy, move past these flaws he did. In the movie, it’s all you get. Take it or leave it.

In one scene, he even lets her think he was hurt by an Akuma in order to catch her worrying about him. It was just a short scene and most people would look past it, but I think it’s these small details that really show how these movie characters tick in comparison to the series.

8. Akumas/Hawkmoth

Just a small detail that kind of ended up taking away the enjoyment of all action scenes is how the Akumas in the movie do not have a motive. There’s just some random people that you don’t care about before their akumatization and that you won’t care about after.

Hawkmoth doesn’t make a deal with them, ask for ladybug and chat noirs miraculous in exchange for his powers, none of that.

He just makes them evil and they do evil things for shits and giggles. The movies premise doesn’t even suggest he needs the miraculous. He just needs to get close enough to Ladybug and Chat Noir to steal Tikki and Plagg.

9. The Ending

I just wanted to dip into that ending real quick. In the movie, Gabriel is redeemed when he finds out about Chat Noir being Adrien. He apologizes to him and they make up. The scene surely will make people emotional, but from my perspective it was all rather predictable.

Whether or not Gabe was worthy of a redemption in the movie is a topic to discuss on its own. Personally, I was okay with it.

What I found more interesting however was…

10. The reveal

This is the moment most people have been waiting and yearning for. And I may sound a bit smug when I say that the movie served a good purpose to show us that a fast reveal would have never ever been satisfying!

It was super underwhelming because - of course it was!

Marinette and Adrien barely had a connection! For all we know they could have been total strangers and their reaction to each other’s identity wouldn’t have been any different than what we saw in the movie.

We never saw Marichat or Ladrien interact either. So that certainly lead to a less explored dynamics. Cue unsatisfying reveal.

They really tried to make it this big emotional final moment, but really? We just saw Ladybug and Chat Noir lean in for a kiss without their masks. Like in a new fit. Nothing really groundbreaking came out of it.

Any fake reveal in the show was better than that and I mean it with every fiber of my being.

And don’t even get me started on how Adrien only ever noticed Marinette when she revealed to be Ladybug. It’s just not it.

Final thoughts.

There’s sooo many more things that I could elaborate on but I think for now I’ve said enough to support my rather poor rating of the movie.

In my opinion, the movie relies too much on people enjoying the source material while trying to be its own thing. It risks leaving everyone unsatisfied.

Those who watch the movie as a stand-alone are met with weird dialogue as well as plot, characters and dynamics that aren’t at all fleshed out.

Meanwhile those who watch the movie because they like the show will be inevitably comparing the movie to its far superior source material.

[kkatastrophic]

Danganronpa Characters Watching a Move (at the cinema)

Eats all their food before the movie starts:

Akane - Foodie

Aoi - No self control when it comes to food

Hiro - Somehow accidentally eats it all

Kaito - Trips while walking up the stairs and spills it everywhere.

Nagito - Eats it during the trailers

Cries when the supporting character/animal dies:

Chihiro - Cries when the dog dies

Gundham - Also cries when the dog dies

Himiko - ALSO cries when the dog dies

Kaede - "They were such a supportive character *sniff, sob*"

Mikan - (She cried because the opening was too loud)

Peko - She cried when the dogs were separated in the street

Sakura - "What a loyal character"

Sonia - Cries when the dog dies

Monomi/Usami - "They didn't deserve that" <- Animal and Character

Nekomaru - "They took one for the team... that's loyalty... *sniffling*"

Throws Popcorn/Food at People:

Fuyuhiko - He hits the couple infront of him while they're kissing

Hiyoko - She dumps it on the people being too loud and laughs at them

Kokichi - Throws from far away, Kaito gets blamed and escorted out

Leon - Incredible accuracy, hits the screen when the characters talk, often lands "in their mouths"

Mondo - Throwing popcorn with Leon, missing most of the time, but still having fun.

Monotaro - Dumps it all on his siblings

Gets kicked out of the cinema:

Junko - Already got a permanent ban from it, escorted out on sight.

Kazuichi - Somehow accidentally does something really bad and has to be escorted out, he leaves with Kaito.

Mukuro - Saw the prices of her favourite slushie go up by 50c and threatened the cashier with a hunting knife.

Teruteru - He was innapropriate to the female worker/s.

Monokuma - Escorted out on sight, left right after sneaking in with Junko.

Talking the Whole Time (mostly gets popcorn thrown at them):

Angie - I don't know why, but I think she would.

Ibuki - Extremely loud and constantly gets "shushed"

Hifumi - Rambles about the actors and their voice overs in different anime.

Sayaka - Accidentally unaware, always notices easter eggs

Kiyotaka - Unaware socially and doesn't realise it's wrong

Tenko - Screams at the screen whenever a male comes on, gets shushed constantly and is escorted out to the lobby to wait for the movie to finish.

Monokid - He's just really loud.

Watching the Movie in Peace:

Imposter/Twogami - He's chill about the movie, eats his food quickly and constantly gets up to get more.

Chiaki - Relaxing, fell asleep after the first song/instrumental

Kirumi - Picking up rubbish/popcorn from the floor to help the workers. Stays late to assist with cleanup.

Korekiyo - Occasionally comments, but enjoys the movie nevertheless.

Kyoko - Still and silent, making sligh "huh" "ohhh" noises when she realises plot twists are coming up.

Monodam - Tells everybody to get along, sits with Monomi/Usami and tells the people around him to shush.

Shuichi - Done with everybodies shit by the end, but tolerates it for the other viewers sakes'.

Rantaro - He got no development, I didn't know where to put him.

Ryoma - Sits at the front because he can't see over the seats, quiet and isn't bothered by the others.

Spoils it on Accident:

Keebo - "I read an online forum" and then spoils the majority of the movie.

Mahiru - Searched all the actors on IMDB, watched trailers, found many full movie essay reviews on the movie before buying tickets, went on rotten tomatos for reviews. She wanted to get her moneys worth!

Makoto - Already seen it before because it was trending a week prior, accidentally spoils it but the people next to him don't mind.

Tsumugi - Got spoilers by Mahiru, was already in the fandom, came in cosplay and spoiled a bunch of it while rambling.

Gonta - "Gonta heard (spoils entire plot, then starts talking about the bee movie)"

Monophanie - "Hm I watched a movie like this... (<- It was the movie they were watching and she spoiled it all.)

Hajime - "Oh no... I'm a failure!" "Yes Hajime, a reserve course student hanging out with the Ultimates... you should be a stepping stone!" (<- He then gets mad at Nagito and spoils it to him purposefully, others hear though.)

Spoils it on Purpose:

Byakuya - Ruins the fun for his own enjoyment

Monosuke - Just wants to be annoying

Celestia - Somebody annoyed her because they took too long to order tickets, she got mad and spoiled it for the rest of the cinema loudly when she walked out of the movie.

Miu - Does it for shits and giggles

Toko - Depending on her mood. She gets mad at somebody next to her and yells at them.

Maki - Was in a bad mood when she walked in, only spoiled it because Kaito was escorted out due to Kokichis bad behaviour.

I LOVE MAKING THESE TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS BELOW!

[mylifeincinema]

My Week(s) in Reviews: June 9, 2024

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (George Miller, 2024)

Disappointing. It's impossible to not compare this movie to Fury Road. The sad thing is, when you do compare this to Fury Road, every single aspect of it pales in comparison. Anya is really good, here, but just never feels like Furiosa. And Chris Hemsworth is a blast, but he goes full-ham in the most distracting way imaginable. Then there's Miller's direction, which is tedious compared to his work on Fury Road. The structure of the film is awkward, and the pacing is damn-near unbearable, draining the action set-pieces of almost all of the balls-to-the-wall adrenaline in which every single moment of Fury Road was drowning. And the cinematography is a complete bore compared to the eye-melting shots by which Fury Road was almost exclusively composed. All that being said, on its own, Furiosa is not a bad movie. Unfortunately, however, it's impossible to experience it on its own in a world where the infinitely superior Fury Road exists. - 6/10

In the Land of Saints and Sinners (Robert Lorenz, 2024)

I really like this brand of slow-burn, quietly human, small-town action-thrillers. Add in this stellar cast and that pitch-perfect climax, and this is the best of its kind I've come across in at least the past few years. - 9/10

The Beekeeper (David Ayer, 2024)

Far from good, but just action-packed enough to keep it from being a complete waste of time. - 4.5/10

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (Wes Ball, 2024)

The absence of Andy Serkis felt significant. But other than that, this wasn't bad. Overlong? Definitely. But far from bad. I don't have much to say, really. The mo-cap work was fantastic, and there were some really interesting/exciting set-pieces. The cast were pretty solid straight through, with the highlights definitely being Freya Allan and Kevin Durand, who steals every second of screen-time he has. - 8/10 For Reference... My Updated Scores for the New Planet of the Apes Films: Rise: 7.5/10 Dawn: 9/10 War: 9.5/10 Kingdom: 8/10

I also revisited Peter Jackson's The Frighteners and Christopher Landon's Happy Death Day & Happy Death Day 2U. The Frighteners is every bit as amazing as it was the last time I watched it, except for how poorly the effects have aged. And the Happy Death Day movies were just as fun as they were in cinemas. I really wish we'd get more of that concept and delivery, and more of Jessica Rothe as a scream queen.

Enjoy!

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

[gemsofgreece]

speaking of greek films, do you have any recommendations? maybe even of the romcom variety? i've only seen zorba

And here's me whose ass still hasn't watched Zorba and even more embarrassingly I kinda thought it was a fully American movie adapting the Greek novel with some Greeks contributing, like actress Irene Papas and the music score by Mikis Theodorakis. It turns out you're right though, the film was directed, written and produced by the Greek filmmaker Michael Cacoyannis but then it was distributed by 20th Century Fox so it was a Greece - USA production.

I don't know if you can speak or are learning Greek though because Zorba was a co-production and it was mostly in English but a fully Greek production is in Greek and most don't get subtitled for international audiences. I will give you some personal recs but I can't guarantee you will find subtitles easily or you will have to do some severe digging. I have made the recs in an older answer so I am linking that post:

I will give a more updated rec list too:

Faves of mine:

From the link above the ones I would advice one to not miss are:

Η Κάλπικη Λίρα (The Counterfeit Coin, 1955). It's not only my favourite Greek movie but it's also in the All Time Top 100 Best Movies of International Cinema list of some very legit major institution that I am forgetting now XD It's a social dramedy with top tier comedians and drama actors co-starring and it's basically four different life stories connected through the same counterfeit coin.

Αχ, αυτή η γυναίκα μου! (Oh, that wife of mine!, 1967) It's a situational comedy. It's hilarious but if you don't know Greek, I don't know how well it translates to a different language. Man desperately wanting a promotion gets in a chaotic situation when his playboy boss first gets outraged and then obsessed with his wife, without knowing her true identity.

 5 λεπτά ακόμα (5 minutes more, 2006) I still think this movie is very underrated. It's a metaphysical philosophical dark dramedy with a great understated score. You can find it on youtube, obviously without English subtitles and with bad quality but hey at least it's on youtube! A morally neutral man with jealousy issues dies and is given five more minutes in the mortal world, which will determine his afterlife.

Το Τανγκό των Χριστουγέννων (Christmas Tango, 2011). Romantic drama. A soldier gets unintentionally entagled in the unrequited / forbidden romance of his mysterious aloof commander. Now this movie has a queer element. It does not have a queer happy end but it has both straight and queer themes and honestly it's a beautiful movie. You can find it on youtube.

Ρεμπέτικο (Rembetiko, 1983). Drama. The tragic life of a female singer of the then underground Rembetiko music scene, the music genre the Greeks of Asia Minor brought along after the Asia Minor Catastrophe and the population exchange between Turkey and Greece in the first half of the 20th century. Personally, I am not crazy about this movie but this doesn't mean necessarily anything because it gets good reviews in imdb even outside Greece. But I personally recommend it for its INSANE score and songs. These songs have become emblematic in the Greek music scene. The composer, Stavros Xarhakos, makes a cameo in the movie.

I still recommend the other recs in the old list too, especially the comedies. Also, like I have said, you can't go too wrong with Greek comedies of the 50s-60s in general. Since I said that, here's a list of faves and critics' choices of Greek movies from the 50s-70s.

Some other faves not in the old lists:

Το χώμα βάφτηκε κόκκινο (Blood on the Land, 1966). A Greek Western! Who would have thought but it is good! When I say western, I don't mean Cowboys vs Natives of course, but I mean land property disputes, rural, animosity gets out of hand, social class inequality etc etc and it is actually linked to Greek social history of the 20th century. And finally a Greek movie that takes good advantage of the Meteora. The movie was a nominee for best foreign film in the Oscars .

Strella, 2009. This is a strictly 18+ movie. It is a queer movie BUT it is also a very edgy movie, like, it can be perceived as extremely edgy no matter if you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or not. It's not the imagery that makes it edgy but the plot at some point takes a serious left turn. So, only watch if you're into weird cinema territory. I have warned you. Personally I am not into weird cinema but I liked this one. Man gets out of prison after years of incarceration for committing a murder. He befriends and soon gets into a relationship with a trans female sex worker. The protagonist, Mina Orfanou, is actually a trans woman and she was really praised for her performance in this.

Ιφιγένεια (Iphigenia, 1977). Directed by Michael Cacoyannis like Zorbas, this is a movie about the myth of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, Agamemnon's daugher, with an all-Greek cast. It is kind of those theater-to-movie films so don't expect Troy level of production. It has very minimal sets. Also, it's the 70s, the bible and sandal era, so the costumes are really anachronistic and inaccurate but other than that it is a good movie. It was nominated for the Oscar for foreign language film. And it's on youtube with English subtitles.

A few other recs:

Antigone (1961). Even more than Iphigenia, this is almost pure theatre filmed. The acting is theatrical, the staging is theatrical, it's all just theatre really. This is a very loyal adaptation of Euripides' Antigone. The acting is very good.

America America (1963). A movie by Greek American filmmaker Elia Kazan that I haven't watched yet but it is very famous. Biographical historical drama, inspired by Kazan's uncle. The struggles and feats of a Greek of Anatolia, Ottoman Empire (modern day Turkey) trying to secure a passage to America in the late 19th - early 20th century. It is an Academy Awards winner.

Πολίτικη Κουζίνα (A Touch of Spice, 2003). The life of a boy and his relationship to his beloved grandfather, who instilled in him the love for cooking and astronomy, as they part ways when the boy and his parents are deported from Turkey after the ongoing tensions started from the incidents of the Istanbul pogrom in 1955, while the grandfather is able to legally stay behind. I wouldn't put this movie in my faves but it is very aesthetically pleasing and has a wonderful score. It is also an introduction to the special historical bond Greeks have with Constantinople / Istanbul and the tragic story of it all.

Έτερος Εγώ (Heteros Ego / The Other Me, 2016). Crime Mystery. This movie is very popular. I think it's overrated but you can judge for yourself. It is on youtube. I personally liked more the TV series that was its continuation (the first two seasons only, because the third was horrible). It is suitable for 17+ audiences. An eccentric criminology professor is summoned to investigate murder cases where the murderer cites quotes by Pythagoras.

Man of God, 2021. If you are a Christian / religious, watch it. I would like this movie more if the director had not forced all the cast to perform in English in order to make an international screening. It takes away from their performance because it is so unnatural and illogical. But otherwise it is an interesting topic and the actors try their best despite that massive handicap. This is the true story of Saint Nektarios of Aegina island and his unfair defamation by the rest of the clergy.

Η Φόνισσα (The Murderess, 2023). Unfortunately this movie does not hold a candle to the original novel of Alexandros Papadiamantis written in 1903 - quite possibly the first feminist literary work written by a man - but it is your next best alternative unless you can read the book or a translation of it. In this case, totally skip the movie and read the book, which is excellent and my favourite Greek novel. But if you watch the movie, just know it took many liberties for the worse. It has good acting and cinematography though. The story explores the life and mind of Frankoyannou, a hardened peasant woman, as more and more female infants and young girls are found murdered in her village, including her own grand-daughter.

Miss Violence, 2013. This movie is incredibly disturbing and I wish I could forget what I saw. If you like disturbing cinema, obviously 18+, watch it. It sickens you to the core though. An ordinary 11 year old girl commits suicide the day her ordinary family celebrates her birthday. Minute by minute we learn more about the family though and minute by minute we realise this is not a regular family AT ALL.

More weirdness. If you actually do like weird cinema, then you can also explore Yorgos Lanthimos' old Greek movies. These are easier to find since Lanthimos is globally famous now. Dogtooth was his Greek movie that was a nominee in the Oscars. But he has a couple more. (By the way, Miss Violence makes Dogtooth seem like a My Little Pony episode.)

More length. Theo Angelopoulos was an acclaimed Greek director, famous for his slow lengthy movies that explore philosophical and other themes. Several movies of his are acclaimed internationally. His most awarded ones are Ο Θίασος (The Travelling Players, 1975), Ταξίδι στα Κύθηρα (Voyage to Cythera, 1984), Το βλέμμα του Οδυσσέα (Ulysses' Gaze, 1995), Μια Αιωνιότητα και μια Μέρα (Eternity and a Day, 1998), Τοπίο στην Ομίχλη (Landscape in the Mist, 1988).

More Kazantzakis. Since you have watched Zorba the Greek, a film based on the novel Life and Times of Alexis Zorbas by Nikos Kazantzakis, perhaps you will be interested in two more movies based on other novels of his, even if they are not purely Greek or Greek productions. The first one is the very famous The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) starring Willem Dafoe, directed by Martin Scorsese. The problem is that this movie is often very misunderstood as edgy / anti-Christian / atheist whereas Kazantzakis' intent with his book was kinda the exact opposite so he probably rolls nonstop in his grave with some readings I have seen being made of the movie, even here on tumblr. Scorcese obviously focused more on the edgy factor than Kazantzakis did, further encouraging such misinterpretations but you could still be able to understand the meaning of Kazantzakis' book through the movie, now that I told you that Kazantzakis was essentially a secular theological / Christian philosopher. The other one is Ο Χριστός Ξανασταυρώνεται (Christ Recrucified / He Who Must Die, 1957). A French / Italian production, also featuring the Greek actress Melina Mercuri. A Greek village in Anatolia in 1920 (Modern day Turkey) stages a Passion Play for Easter. Staging the play leads to them rebelling against their Turkish rulers in a way that mirrors Jesus's story. There is also a Greek TV series adapting the novel in 1975 - 1976, which is closer to the book and gets better reviews and you can watch it in the streaming platform I recommend below.

ERTFLIX. Ertflix is the state TV's OTT platform and it is entirely for free, while also available internationally. It has both desktop and app formats and you can also add it to several TV boxes, Chromecast, Roku etc For the free service that it is, it has an abundance of series, movies and documentaries so I can never stop praising it...! There you can find numerous Greek movies / series / documentaries to watch, plus even more foreign stuff with Greek subtitles if you're learning Greek and need to practice. Plus it has interviews, the invaulable archives of the state TV and so much more. In Greece it is not necessary but for using the platform abroad you will have to register as a user but it is entirely for free. Ertflix I love you. Below is a screenshot with some Greek movies available now:

Scroll to the Greek cinema option (or to the Greek series). The site is built in both Greek and English.

Where you can find ERTFLIX:

The aforementioned TV series based on Kazantzakis' novel.

Upcoming movies of Greek interest:

Maria. The biopic of Maria Callas, rather her last years, starring Angelina Jolie. Is Jolie a good casting choice for Callas? Well, no. People say she does a good job in it however. I don't know about that and I am going to be sceptical because I love Maria Callas and I don't think she can be easily (at all) imitated. I 'll watch it though. From the trailer I see Jolie did a very legit job with Callas' speaking manner and accent, this is hopeful. Part of the movie was filmed in Greece too.

The Return. Starring Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche, this is a retelling of the last part of the Odyssey, once Odysseus has returned to Ithaca and has to reclaim his rule and home from Penelope's suitors. It is a realistic retelling, not featuring the gods, based on the trailer I saw. I had my reservations for this casting but Fiennes looks good as old Odysseus IMO and Binoche is a brunette French, of course she can pass easily as a Greek. They are also both good and serious actors and I am sure they give their best in the movie. The drawback is that it's like we return to the 70s with these poor and anachronistic costumes and sets. And also aside from the protagonists, who would have thought there was so much diversity in Ithaca / s, a REAL, TINY and REMOTE Greek island. Telemachus looks like the blondest of Swedes and then the Ithacians have apparently descent from Scandinavia to Southeast Asia to central Africa. Amazing. Ithaca, the New York of Bronze Age. At least Fiennes (in this) and Binoche do pass as Greeks... What makes the movie a little promising for me is the amazing physique Fiennes achieved for it: the parts half dead old beggar and parts godly warrior king. He nailed it. The scene with the bow, I know already I will get the chills.

From this alone I know Fiennes is doing a terrific job in this. He is always invested very seriously in his movies.

Anyway, one third of the movie is shot in Greece and ERT (the Greek State TV) is actually a co-producer (a rarity with international movies of Greek mythological interest nowadays), so once it's done from movie theaters, it is going to be available for free on ERTFLIX... apparently globally. I so hope this movie does not disappoint me.

A lot of these can be found in links in greek-movies.com but you didn't hear it from me.

[jelloapocalypse]

caught you answering questions whichs means I can finally ask my own!

First question, what opinion or review have you shared do you think has made people the MOST angry?

Second, has anyone ever been really weird about your character to your face before? (You know like, WEIRD weird)

And thirdly, do you have any VA roles you regret doing?

these are very incendiary questions

I mean the obvious answer to the first is that I didn't like Infinity Train. I went out of my way to watch it when it had just been cancelled so that if it was good I could raise my voice alongside the other people in order to defend it, but I genuinely think it was one of the most unpleasant watching experiences I've ever had, especially Season 4. Kez in particular is truly one of the worst executions of a character I've seen put to screen.

I also got a lot of flack for complaining about the way children's media handles generational trauma as a theme. Speaking as someone with some pretty impactful generational issues on my mom's side, I dislike how it sets up a parental or grandparental figure as the root of all evil and then "resolves" that by having the lead character go "You are being mean!" and then said parent/grandparent just turns their personality on a dime to create a "happy ending". It just feels so disingenuous and it's the kind of lesson that will get kids hit in the face with a shoe.

Of course, the two big examples I used were the two relevant ones at the time, Encanto and Turning Red, so I got accusations of being racist etc. etc., twitter.

That's very funny because Turning Red and Everything Everywhere All at Once have the same three-generational divide setup and the same culture of origin and I think the latter movie managed to stick the landing in the exact way I think Turning Red missed.

I don't have a lot of popular characters I've voiced but people have walked up to me in person at cons and stuff and given me porn of my characters, which is insanely awkward.

I did a "Did You Know Anime" narration on Baccano! once and I just really phoned it in. No idea why, it's just an awful performance. I still feel kinda bad about that.

[one-piece-aus]

Unbottle Your Emotions

Eutass Kid x Reader (Part 1)

Ahoy readers! Some of you who read my Whumptober works know I made two short whumps of Kid in a highschool AU and I can tell you enjoyed those angsty works. I've dug around in my drafts and found this, I wrote it a few years ago but nonetheless, it's the beginning of this story so I thought why not post it? Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Enjoy ^-^

"Alright, class," Makino addressed you and your classmates once she finished attendance. "I have a partner project for you to work on for the next two weeks. Before you ask, I have already assigned who you'll be working with."

You glanced over to Hawkins, if you were lucky you'd be partnered with him. The two of you were loners who stuck together. You found it easier to work with him since you kinda were on the same level when it came to that. He made eye contact with you and knew you wanted him to check his chances of being paired with you. He drew his cards under his desk before looking back to you and shaking his head. You sighed, pulling up your hood and resting your head on your arms, you continued listening to your English teacher.

"You'll be choosing a topic to write about, whether it's a review of a movie or a poem about birds, I want the two of you to make it together. This will be a presentation assignment so make sure to capture your listeners' attention and practice what you'll be reading." Makino paused, going over to her laptop, and clicking a few keys before turning on the projector. "Here are your partners."

Once the screen had been displayed your eyes scanned over the list to find your name. You saw Hawkins got paired with Cavendish, you almost felt bad for him until your eyes landed on who you paired with. The person Makino assigned you to work with was Eustass Kid.

He was the most hostile guy at school, it was no secret the guy had anger issues and was completely obnoxious. You avoided him like the plague for two reasons: 

1. You were a good student and just wanted to learn, obnoxious kids disrupt the silence and your ability to learn. 

2. You could only tolerate someone directing their anger at you for so long before crying; not that they made you feel sad, but because you felt anger at them and wished to shout back at them to defend yourself, yet you held your tongue back since you didn't want to cause further trouble; that bottled up emotion stressed tears out of you. 

You hated crying because that made you think you appeared hurt and weak when in reality you were angry and frustrated, the more you felt it the more the tears came. That's why tried to quickly get out of the predicaments if you were ever in them.

The quickest way you dealt with someone's anger and got out of the problem was ignoring them if they were just insulting you or apologizing respectfully if you did something to piss them off. Since you pulled off these things well without appearing to be phased and having acknowledgement of the issue with genuine respect, those in school weren't aware you had a limit. However, you witnessed how Kid gets whenever someone pisses him off, you knew there'd be no way you could keep the bottle closed if he directed his anger at you, so that's why you always duck away when you saw Kid coming.

Internally you panicked when you saw you were assigned to be his partner. You didn't know how you managed to get this far acting as a ghost while being in the same classes as him this semester. You usually weren't in a corner or by the window, you were near the front of the room, second row and just two desks away from being in the center of the class, great for viewing the board. Perhaps you were a ghost to Kid since he sat around the back near the window.

Kid raised his head and looked around, searching for you, you pulled your hood further over you and lowered your head to face away from Kid. "Oi, Teach! Which one's the one I'm working with?" You heard Kid ask, I guess he really didn't know who you are.

You listened to the footsteps of the teacher, drawing towards you just as a brush does to the paints on a pallet. You feel her gentle hand rub your head, maybe thinking you were asleep, you did come in class yawning. You hesitantly lifted your head, looking up at Makino and seeing her smile. Oh, bless her heart for being kind and welcoming, wishing to create a pleasant and welcoming place for her class, but that's what's going to bite you in the ass because it meant you couldn't get out of this since she wanted her class to be comfortable with each other. You sighed, making it a sound like a yawn, and sat up but still kept your hood on.

"This is [L/n], Eustass," Makino told Kid, gesturing to you before she went to another student who had raised their hand.

You didn't say a word, instead, you took out your notes and reviewed them to see which ones you needed for the project. The daunting sound of Kid approaching your desk only made you read through your notes more frantic until he sat down in the chair in front of you with a scowl on his face. You looked away from your notes, masking your uneasy state as you finally spoke to him.

"Hi! Sorry- I was searching for the notes we'll probably need!" You apologized then glanced back at the papers and began putting the ones you didn't need back in your binder. You just needed to get on his good side, if you didn't irritate him you two could get this project over with and never have to speak to each other again, that's how classmates go.

"At least you seemed to know what you're doing," Kid responded, eyes gazing over the many notes you've jotted down as you slipped them away in the binder.

"Uh- you can pick whatever you wanna do for the project if you want," you told him and put your binder into your bag. "I'm uh- fine with whatever unless you wanted to ask the teacher to work with a friend instead, then I'll find a topic to work on by myself."

"None of my friends are in this class," he shrugged and folded his arms. "Besides I know Makino wouldn't change my partner even if I asked, I'm just glad it's not strawhat I'm working with again."

"Strawhat? Luffy?" You tilted your head, not recalling Luffy being in your class.

"He was in one of my classes last semester and we had Makino as our teacher," Kid explained as put his arms on your desk, taking up half the space.

"Oh..."

"You know the guy?" Kid inquired, raising a non-existent eyebrow at you.

"Not really."

"Good, he's annoying and so are his friends."

You sweatdropped unsure how to respond to his complaint. Normally you'd let some continue their rants until they were done, especially if they had anger issues you didn't want to trigger them, but you wanted to get everything figured out before class was over.

"So did you have something in mind?" You asked getting back on topic.

"We're not writing poetry, that's for damn sure," he grumbled, pushing his cheek onto his knuckled fist.

'How ironic, that's probably what Cavendish and Hawkins are,' you thought to yourself as you glanced at the two blonds. Cavendish seemed to be boasting about myself again, maybe being partnered with Kid wasn't so bad.

"Have you listened to any metal songs?" Kid inquired, throwing his idea out there.

"Yeah..."

"Really?" he questioned, not believing you.

"Yeah."

Kid's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, really?!"

"Uh yeah." How many times were you going to have to repeat yourself?

"Huh, I didn't think you'd listen to that kind of music."

You shrugged. "My dad got me into metal and rock when I was younger. Better than what plays on the radio."

"You don't have to tell me twice. Idiots that listen to what they play on there now don't know what real music is."

You chuckled, agreeing with Kid, maybe he wasn't so bad. "I guess we found our topic. Now we need to figure out how we'd be writing it." You flipped over one of your papers and started writing down a few methods. "Fan letter to the artist, a review of the song, analysis of the lyrics-"

A loud buzz rang throughout the school and repeated itself, you cringed at the obnoxious noise blaring in your ear. Someone must've started a fire in the bathroom again. Your class filed out of the room, merging into the sea of students exiting the building. You wanted to cover your ears as the noise became louder in the halls but you didn't want to appear like a weirdo using your hands, you had wireless earbuds but that wasn't something to take out in the stampede you were in since you could drop one. You just had to suffer internally.

Once outside, you went and stood by Hawkins while waiting for the fire department to find the fire. You rubbed your ears now that you were away from the crowd and just had your fellow loner next to you.

"Acting like a cat again, [Y/n]?" Hawkins asked, seeing you paw your ears. He often compared to his cat, Faust.

"Yeah, my ears just hurt from the noise." You despised noise.

"You should listen to some soothing frequencies after instead of your regular choice of music if you want your ears to recover properly," Hawkins advised.

"Ehhhh... I might have to this time."

"Oh?" Hawkins glanced at you, inquiring you for further details. You didn't usually listen to him when he advised you to give your ear a break from your music, hence why he grew curious to understand why you were thinking of taking his suggestion.

"I might be hearing more noise today at school but once I get home I'll probably be able to listen to it."

"And what makes you think you'll be hearing more noise?"

"I don't know, maybe-"

"OI! [L/N]!" Kid shouted to get your attention as he marched over to you.

You flinched at his voice in that tone, and the irritated expression on his face made you think you did something wrong. You turned to him and held your arm behind your back.

"Sorry, what did you need Kid?"

"Give me your phone."

"What?" You feel your chest begin to burn and you know your forehead will begin to paint itself red.

"I need it to put my contact in your phone."

You were going to push back but you folded your tongue seeing the impatient scowl Kid wore. Not questioning him further, taking your phone out of your pocket. Unlocking it, you hastily clicked over to your contact app and handed it over to the redhead before you could see him grow more impatient.

Kid, just about to add a new contact, couldn't help but notice how you only had five contacts on your phone. Only three out of the five weren't family-related. Did you just not add people to your phone? He scoffed the thought off, it wasn't his business. He began typing his number into your phone.

You wanted to ask why Kid needed to put his contact in your phone, however, your bottled emotion prevented you from speaking your question. Kid seemed pissed enough, you weren't going to attempt to do anything that might push him off the edge. You shifted your footing, the expression on your face displaying your unease.

"Perhaps you should tell why you're adding your number to her phone," Hawkins spoke up for you.

"Fuck off Basil, it's not your business," Kid barked.

"It may not be mine but it is [Y/n]'s business to know since it is her phone," Hawkins stated unphased by Kid. Oh, how you wished to be as stoic as Hawkins. Granted, you did a good job ninety percent of the time but it crumbled easily in the presence of hostile or authoritative anger.

Kid glared at Hawkins for a moment before he handed you back your phone, his attention now on you. "Send me a text," he instructed you and pulled out his phone.

You weren't sure what exactly to send so you just typed 'Hi' into the chat. A ding came from Kid's phone and he checked the message to make sure it came from you. Comparing his screen to yours, you felt your hands brush against each other. The chills surfing across your body turned your body pale from how uncomfortable you felt to Kid standing this close to you. You wanted to isolate yourself in your room, though when Kid moved away you couldn't help but be grateful.

"Alright, I got it." Kid put his phone in his pocket and started walking away. "Text me about our project later."

You stood there confused with the hidden parts of your head burning red. You didn't understand why Kid confronted you like that when he could've easily asked when the two of you got back to class. You stared in the direction Kid left until a concerned hand rested on your shoulder and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Glancing over, you met Hawkins' crimson eyes.

"The cards said you needed a comforting hand," Hawkins said unsure if he helped. "There was an 80% chance you would've shed tears if not."

Right, Hawkins is the only one who knew of your bottled frustration; he saw it happen when he walked in the middle of you being scolded by a teacher. Anyone else would've thought you were upset and sad but he could read the frustration and anger written on your face, and he drew the cards to double-check. The two of you never spoke of it at first, but after you began to hang around, and he saw it a few more times, he offered to be there for you if you ever needed a quiet place and a listening ear.

"Once the firemen are done we'll be in second period," Hawkins informed you, shifting the topic away from what just happened. He knows you don't like to stay stuck in your conflicted emotions.

"So that's why Kid did that..." You glance at the phone in your hand to see the time; English is over. Slipping it into your pocket, you groaned, realizing something. "Hhhhh, that means we still have to get our stuff from English... We have drama next class, right?"

"Hmm." Hawkins nodded.

"Can you please get my stuff, I don't think I can face Kid again at the moment."

"Very well, [Y/n]."

"Thanks, I'll treat you to lunch."

"Does that mean we'll go to the vegan restaurant?" You've known Hawkins long enough to tell the subtle delight in his monotone.

"For doing this-" You turned to him, a grateful small smile drawn on your face. "Yes."

Tag: @lil-skelly-bones