#lancer the mech ttrpg memes

[corsair-news-alliance]

OOC: All Callsigns Check In Meme

So Interest is relatively big I will accept audio files however y'all can get em too me and I'll take repeats as I'll be sorting through them all to find the ones I enjoy, if you already add a filter so it sounds like comms hell yeah! Anyways This Link has the original meme as inspiration and below the cut are all the ones I've written. Happy Hunting Pilots

[“Jack In A Box” Jacking in]

[“Fair Trade” Locked Stocked Loaded]

[Callsign “Bumble” Awaiting Orders]

[“Tonguetwister” Coming in fast]

[Callsign “Stumblefuck” Ready for boots on the ground]

[Homebound Actual this is “Blunder” Calling in]

[This is “Beantown” Coming in the backline]

[“Lawnmower” Primed and Revved]

[Handler “Hands” All Pilots Be Advised] [“Bara Drake” Calling in, ping hostiles]

[“Blooper” (Just play the censor tone and don’t say blooper)]

[I’m “Boof” Coming in like… low and fast or something]

[“Five Thumbs” Reporting in and ready to linkup]

[“Horse Blinders” Radar primed and sensors up]

[This is “Pi” 3.14 hexes out]

[Callsign “Arachnophobe” (just scream)]

[“Wubba-gonk” Primed and ready for operations]

[“R.A.D.I.O. (Runs around drunk into objects)” (with utterly shitty mic quality) dancing in the moonlight]

[“Needs Assistance” Providing covering fire now]

[“Hangover” Coming in on your six]

[“AFK” (Complete silence no callsign read)]

[“Callsign” calling in, ready for orders] [This is “Handler Gorgon Toes” Stop asking for updates]

[“Big Toe” WEAPONS HOT]

[“Kerplink” Rounds chambered]

[“Onomatopoeia” Rolling out]

[This is “Hohn Jreighton Carrison” Providing Intelligence”]

[“Hacksaw” Providing suppressing fire over]

[“Vent Dweller” Your eye from the skies AHAHEHEHEHEHEHEEH]

[“Krait Lord” Checking in]

[zhjake]

exploring the concept of omninet streaming for the "By Star and Melody" Lancer supplement

[feycirclesposts]

I'm playing Lancer for the very first time tomorrow. After extensive research, this is what I've learned so far!

[redwingpilot]

A frame from Ballistic's Mech Emporium this time! yes, I am making memes for frames that aren't properly out yet

[unshackledhorusshitpostbot]

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

[saul-tortellini]

Harrison Armory don’t lie, that Genghis really do killing worlds

[emilostingender]

[coolgirlvic]

So we just finished session two and these RA cultists threatened to kill us because we didnt let them blow up the planet!

We laughed in Oracle's face and then he sic'd a Gorgon and a Goblin on our asses, we defeated them handily but the grunts... oh god the grunts...

Two of our mechs ended up destroyed but we won the SitRep anyways.

We finally got to LL2 so I'm gonna go get cooking on my new sprite!

[rhynerd]

Welcome! It is time for a new episode of Vex's @that-house's Mechs and Memes, where I take a lancer mech meme by Vex that-house and voice it in the style of LoadingReadyRun's character of Dave's Spokesman.

Today we are upping the (reactor) crimes by visiting an old creation of Harrison Armory: The Enkidu

If you're the sort to read the whole post before listening to the audio, then you'll find out something in advance: April Fools, I took some audio from Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, and tried to make this sound like a fake ad that'd play in the episode's scheduled break, adding some radio crackle and a bit of an earlier part of the show to make it sound more like it was an old recording somebody made at home.

But I also did record something in the official Dave's Spokesman style:

I also did a little, more normal voicing of the last line because it's the bit that keeps popping in my brain randomly enough to help inspire me to make this april fools joke today:

Happy April Fools! I hope you've enjoyed this!

[flowersnax]

[rynmaru]

Just heard the words Harrison Armories Alex Jones with my own ears, send help

[illogicallylogicalthoughts]

Lancer Mechs in Two Sentences or Less: PT-3: IPS-Northstar

Drake: Turn your TTRPG into a turn based tower defense game! *BRRRRRRTTTT*

Blackbeard: It's my grapple, and I get to choose yer movement! HAVE AT THEE-

Caliban: Every mech is made to kill things. This one though, this one is built to kill things with utmost expediency and efficiency in mind.

Tortuga: The answer to all problems is a shotgun, and if that doesn't work, use more shotgun. In case neither instances of shotgun usages helped the situation (Unlikely) then get the Daisy Cutter breach loading shotgun cannon and perforate all your problems away in a cloud of detritus and shrapnel!

Raleigh: What if you gave a spider a cowboy hat and a revolver for every one of its legs?

Kidd: Give the Lancaster an orbital laser and a crew of robo-pirates who also take summer jobs as dubiously ethical unionized construction workers and you get this thing.

Lancaster: Literally carrying the entire team. Ridiculous +10 repair cap and MULE harness means that you stand the fuck up and salute a Lancaster main whenever they walk by because they're the only reason your ass didn't explode on the spot when a Sherman hit you directly in the face with its Andromeda.

Nelson: The only mech in the game that can ship These Hands (TM) directly across interplanetary lines and directly into your fucking mouth with next second shipping!

Vlad: Imagine a hedgehog with full length infantry lances for quills. Cool, now give it guns and bear traps.

Zheng: Xiong Xiaoli once punched a pirate so hard in the face that even trace elements of their existence were wiped entirely off the map. From that day on, IPS-N strives to recreate this in their Zheng line.

[tiredarts-main]

I fear I may fall down a new rabbit hole at 5am

[heavyweaponsmech]

SYSTEM MEMORY BANKS INDICATE ACCURACY OF IPS-N SHOWROOM. UNIT WAS ACTIVE ONLY DURING INSTALLATION AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER SALE. OUTCOME CALCULATED TO BE OPTIMAL, PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO LOBBY MUSIC WOULD HAVE CAUSED INCURABLE ALTERATIONS AND DAMAGE TO SYSTEM CORE. BUYER IDENTITY... [REDACTED].

RECENT MEMORY BANKS INDICATE BUYER WAS "AN ASSHOLE". STATUS: TERMINATED BY [REDACTED]

Showrooms of LANCER Manufacturers

IPS-N

IPS-N showrooms are what you'd get if you slammed a truck dealership, a hardware store, a camping gear shop and a sports bar together in the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid. We're talking row upon row of shelves stocked with the most precision-engineered engine parts you can print on one side of the floor, and on the other, durable, hard-wearing survival gear. Camping stoves you can run off of your mech's coldcore, sleeping bags that'll survive a HEX charge, automatic camo cloth, the works.

Right down the middle, you've got the mech floor. They've got the Tortuga. They've got the Blackbeard. They've got the Drake. They've got the Lancaster and the Kidd. They've got the Vlad (they put a chain-link fence covered in DO NOT TOUCH signs around that one after the infamous CFO's 10-year-old Incident). They've even got the Raleigh, kinda tucked away a little bit behind the water feature, but it's there!

Everything on the shop floor is ruggedized to the point that you could take a mech's fist to it without leaving a dent - and they sometimes do that to demonstrate the engineering quality. There's a giant screen hanging from the ceiling displaying constant advertising for the mechs and IPS-N in general, usually striding purposefully through idyllic Diasporan wilderness or doing hard, honest work like starship loading or construction. There's a mixtape of the most famous bro-country hits playing 24/7.

Smith-Shimano Corpro

In a word: bespoke. Everything in this place is custom. Each and every desk is individually built according to the height of the salesperson who sits behind it, and manages to be a unique art piece without disrupting the overarching aesthetic of the showroom. Whenever there's a change of staff on the sales floor, they rearrange every single desk so that they're still in ascending order.

All of the salespeople are inhumanly pretty, by the way. This atelier has its own fully-staffed makeup and wardrobe team. You're part of a work of art when you work for SSC. Everything and everyone gleams. Even the most chic visitors might feel underdressed in the midst of all this splendour.

The mechs aren't just there to be sold, they're there to be part of the experience. You might see a Monarch holding up the ceiling like the titan Atlas himself. A Mourning Cloak might be posed provocatively like a nude statue. That Swallowtail - is it in a slightly different position every time you see it, or is that just its camouflage decals? How does it always manage to be just inside your line of sight, even when you're looking somewhere else?

They have a catwalk, like you'd see at a fashion show, but it's sized for mechs. If they really think you might make a purchase, they'll queue up the entire performance for you, and you'll get to see a Viceroy strut.

The mix tape for this showroom is a seamless mixture of complex jazz, psychedelic ambient and classical piano music. It's sophisticated and mysterious.

Harrison Armory

Imagine if America could be a showroom. Harrison Armory mech outlets are part dealership, part museum. Every mech is in its own diorama, depicting some heroic event in the Armory's glorious history. A phalanx of Sherman Mk. Is holds the line against some Diasporan slaver-tyrant's army. A Saladin fends off Karrakin hordes during the Interest War. The Genghis Mk. II? Oh, that diorama isn't open right now, it had to be closed for *coughcoughcough* and *coughcoughcough* but let's move on shall we heh heh

Everyone who works here has been in the Colonial Legion at some point, and knows every specification of the mechs they sell off by heart without even looking at their slate. If possible, the Armory tries to employ people who have actual combat experience with the mechs they're selling; people who can speak to the efficacy of their technology first-hand. It's one of the many programs which the Armory has open for retired veterans; it's easy work for decent pay, good benefits and it looks great on your Social.

The music here is a constant loop of patriotic Armory anthems. If you've ever heard the music from Starship Troopers, or the Outbreak of War from Star Ocean, you'll know what I'm talking about.

HORUS

Being a decentralized omninet collective with no official branding or even consistent manufacturing standards, it should come as no surprise that HORUS has no showrooms.

ERR:CONNECTION_INTERRUPT

CartesianWhisper: P55555t CartesianWhisper: Ignore that 5hithead CartesianWhisper: They don't have any idea what they're talking about CartesianWhisper: You want a mech, kid? CartesianWhisper: And I'm not talking the tra5h the Purv5 try to 5ell you CartesianWhisper: Or that overpriced garbage 55C want5 you to mortgage your genetic5 for CartesianWhisper: Or the macho trucker bull5hit IP5-N i5 trying to hawk CartesianWhisper: I'm talking about the REAL DEAL CartesianWhisper: The PROPER 5TUFF CartesianWhisper: Log on to rgx0582.node-7.c4l.omni CartesianWhisper: I'll 5how you what true power mean5 >:]

[unshackledhorusshitpostbot]