#lan xichen is the confident gay we been knew

[jingyi]

lan xichen: can i sit here

jiang cheng: that's my lap

lan xichen:

lan xichen: that doesn't answer my question

[luhanvirus]

Butterfly Effect

 In which a 29-year-old gay LXC married his 26-year-old family friend JC (who happens to be a trans man) out of convenience so that both of their traditional families would leave them alone and let them live their lives, without thinking that he will find love in this marriage.

N/A: Xicheng AU based on that Redditor who shared his touching AF love story.

For the #CultivaTober2020, another story that no one asked me. Incomplete for the lack of time.

Day 23: Butterfly

.

A lot of people like to think that love comes before marriage, oftentimes it doesn't always work out that way. 

Sometimes people get married because of different pressures and expectations put on them by society and their families, but that doesn't mean you can't find love in this kind of situation.

Lan Xichen didn’t expected falling in love with his husband.

They didn’t marry for love, actually they married to make a giant scam on their families.

It maybe be weird, but Lan Xichen was a gay man that came from a wealthy and traditional Chinese family where he managed the business extension abroad. 

And as the current heir of the company after his father’s death, the elders didn’t liked when he came up openly about his homosexuality and they didn’t accept it. No matter how many times Xichen said them that he wouldn’t marry a man, they still wanted him very married to a lady from a good and influential family.

One day Xichen got tired and said them clearly that he will just stay single, so they should stay out of his business.

That kind of worked for four years, until the last year when uncle Lan Qiren trapped him in a visit with a this “girl” that was the single “daughter” of one of their business allies and left them alone in a room.

Xichen looked at her, she was pretty indeed. His posture emitted an air of confidence and his almond gray eyes resembled storm clouds, like lighting bolts would appear in any moment to attack, her short black hair was pulled into a bun with a purple ribbon and she wore a big violet hoodie that covered all her body curves. 

It was so obvious that neither of them wanted to be here.

Anyways, Xichen didn’t expected that this person would misunderstand the whole situation:

“Listen to me, because I’m not going to repeat myself. I’m a trans male and I’m not out of my family and I DON’T WANT to get married to you”, blunted out the person. “You don’t want to be married with me because I am a MAN, so just leave it!”

Lan Xichen blinked, really shocked.

Did she.... Did he really thought that I set up the visit?

“I don’t even like women, what do you mean?” Xichen babbled, confused at least.

The boy looked at him, suspicious.

“What did you said?”

Xichen massaged the left side of his forehead, without knowing if the should laugh or cry at the turn of the events. “Well, I’m gay.”

When he said it, he didn’t wanted to be funny.

He was serious.

“Oh my god,” mumbled the boy before to start laughing loudly. “My mom will die if she knows!”

At least one of them was having a good time, finding the whole thing hilarious.

Xichen didn’t noticed when he started to laugh too.

Well, could you blame him? This was so ridiculous. Yet, they ended being friends after that unfortunate turn of the events. They even exchanged numbers before to part away.

. 　   ·  ✦

“I knew it was her, she’s perfect. Well mannered and ...”

Uncle Qiren was delighted at the idea that Xichen was cured from homosexuality, the poor man still has hopes that he would change his mind and will fall in love with the little daughter of Jiang Fengmian haha.

If you only know, uncle. Thought Xichen, having a good time that night.

Unlike Wangji who seemed worried, he was his only support in those kinda family meetings.

“Brother.”

Xichen smiled at his brother, relieved that everything ended in good terms even if it was a disaster. “Don’t worry, Wangji. I know what I’m doing.” 

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Wangji looked at him, unconvinced. “If you say so.”

However, Xichen didn’t overthink it in the moment because Jiang Wanyin was someone really nice to talk by the way, so he keep talking with him.

And they talked a lot through nine weeks.

What made both families to get excited at the match, they never got this far with any other candidates. 

So they kept pushing them about marriage.

Xichen didn’t knew why, but one day they just accepted to marry each other. He remember that both were "like yeah, screw it" and that’s how they got quickly married in Yunmeng a summer day of August to get their families off of their backs.

Wanyin moved at Gusu with him and both pulled a giant scam on their families and got away with it.

No matter how you see it, it was a win-win situation. Wanyin lived his own life and take the guest room for himself while Xichen didn’t get more cutting remarks about being gay because he has a “wife” now.

Life was easygoing, so he let Wanyin cut his hair short and stop dressing feminine as his family forced him.

It was a little gesture, but that small change resulted in something unexpected.

. 　   ·  ✦

The things had been so smooth sailing between them that they even adopted a dog, Xichen was having a good time when he come to his house now that he has a roommate and a pet.

It felt more like a home than the place where he’s slept.

He didn’t noticed before, but his house didn’t felt like a home before he married.

Wanyin resume his university studies and made new friends, he was so comfortable and happy that he started to cooking dinner for both of them recently. Sometimes Xichen couldn’t eat with him because he returned at home passed by midnight, but he tried to return early at home to share at least a couple of dinners together at week.

That night Xichen got a little late, but Wanyin stayed with him in the dinning room. Looking him eat everything and even repeating a dish.

“Were you hungry, huh?”

Xichen was used to not talk when he eat because he was educated like that, but he found rude to not reply his husband at the same time. So he did an exception that night.

After all, Wanyin cooked that delicious food for him and waited for him.

“I didn’t have lunch today.”

Wanyin looked at him, with a bothered frown in his eyebrows. It reminded Xichen the first time that they share a dinner in home and he couldn’t stand the spicy food that Wanyin cooked. 

That time he thought he would die, but he survived to Wanyin spicy food.

Now he’s getting to used to piquant food.

“I can cook your lunch.”

“You don’t have to do it, Wanyin.”

“What kind of husband am I if I left my spouse starving?” Wanyin teased him, smirking.

. 　   ·  ✦

Next morning Xichen didn’t expected that Wanyin would fulfill his word and made a lunch for him, even his coworkers seemed surprised to see him eating in his office instead to skipping the lunch when he had important meetings. 

That day he had a meeting with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, so they planned to invite him to eat a hotpot without knowing that Xichen would refuse.

When they saw why he refused, they stayed to accompany him.

It seems that it was a friendship duty annoy at your recently married friends.

“Now Xichen-ge gots lovely lunchs made by his wife, I’m jealous”, said Jin Guangyao as he looked for food delivery on his telephone for him and Mingjue, they didn’t want to leave his friend alone if they could tease him.

Mingjue nudged at Xichen, grinning “As your childhood friend, I demand to be the godfather of your first child.”

“That’s unfair, Da-ge! Let Xichen-ge chose the godfather!!”

Xichen smiles nervously at his friends, feeling a cold sweet in this forehead.

“We are not having kids.”

Mingjue raised an eye brown, confused. “Why not?”

Xichen felt conflicted.

Well, these were his friends and he should trust them, right? He wasn’t ashamed of his husband, actually he felt proud that he could be himself since they met.

“Uhm, how I could say this? My “wife” is a trans male, so...”

“Oh.”

“It’s complicated, we got it.” Ends the conversation Jin Guangyao, putting a hand in Mingjue’s mouth. 

. 　   ·  ✦

Months passed fast and it was December when Xichen realized that his husband started to getting closer to him.

Not like they were strangers before, but something changed after Christmas.

Wanyin started to watch tv with him in the sofa when Xichen was in home, eating with him every time they can, buying him stuff and even texting him more frequently, sending photos of him and Huan Huan when he go to walk their puppy. He even started staying in Xichen’s room to facetime his mom because she always complained about how he always facetimed alone so he came to Xichen bed to get him to say hi.

And after a while, Wanyin got tired to get out of Xichen’s bed to go back to his own to sleep, so he moved to Xichen room permanently.

Before Xichen knew, they escalated to cuddling awaken and sleeping.

Contrary to Xichen could think, it wasn’t that weird.

Actually it felt heartwarming to hold his tiny husband on his arms, specially when their puppy dog was in the middle of them. Enjoying the warm between his owners.

It made him feel something, but he wasn’t sure what.

. 　   ·  ✦

“When are you two going to give us a grandchild?” Wanyin’s mother asked them one day via facetime.

Wanyin went all red, screaming. “Mom!”

It was obvious that he didn’t wanted to have this conversation with his mother.

Xichen was beside him in the bed, working on his laptop before to speak in the name of the two. “We want to enjoy our youth first. So no kids for now.”

Hoping that Wanyin wouldn’t mind with his idea.

They didn’t talked about children, yet.

His mother-in-law sounded a bit beaten after that, but she insisted on encourage Wanyin to make his own family as if their dog wasn’t their son already. 

When Wanyin cut the call, Xichen finished his work so he put the computer aside.

“Sorry, Xichen.”

“Why? It’s not your fault that your mother want another grandchild.”

Wanyin looked at him before sprawled out on top of him, doing random things and Xichen was unsure what it means. “Then, how many children do you want?” 

He asked so suddenly that got Xichen out of guard.

“What?”

“I’m joking, do you want children anyways?”

He was always like that since they got close to each other last year, always joking around him.

Sometimes Xichen didn’t know if he was joking or being serious.

“I don’t know, I never thought about having kids.” Xichen blurt out of his mind, smiling at the thought that they have this level of communication to talk about things like this. “What about you?”

“We have Huan Huan, enough for me.”

“I don’t think your mother 

“Well, Huan Huan would be the only grandson that I’m going to give her.”

. 　   ·  ✦

They almost kissed twice, one time when they were cuddling in the bed and the other one when Wanyin started sitting on Xichen’s lap, nuzzling him and stuff like that.

Their faces were so close that Xichen thought they were going to kiss.

It was so close that he could feel his hot breath, but then Wanyin went all red and jumped ship at the last minute. Xichen felt so disappointed that they didn't kissed already, but he thought that he understand why Wanyin might not kiss him.

He must be thinking that he doesn't want this or something like that.

Contrary to what people could think about his husband, Wanyin had the tendency to overthink things.

He still was working on this, but Xichen couldn’t handle with the self-isolation and the romantic? tension in the house every time he saw Wanyin flustering and getting shy around him.

It was odd after met the confident and a little arrogant side of his husband, so this new side made him feel things that he didn’t know he could feel for Wanyin.

Xichen even feel butterflies in the stomach every time they get close for any reason.

He just wants to kiss Wanyin so badly that he felt embarrassed.

He was so screwed.

. 　   ·  ✦

One day, Xichen couldn’t stand the situation anymore. He was still a little unsure about his own feelings so he talked long and tended with his friends at the bar about how he wants to take Wanyin on dates and kiss him and let him speak as much as he wants because Wanyin likes to talk about the things that he loves and how much he loves their dog, he could talk about Huan Huan all day and Xichen wouldn't mind, he loves their puppy too.

In the end, he ended asking advice to asking his husband out.

“I want him be happy and I want myself be happy. So how can I ask my literal husband of nine months to be in an actual relationship with me?”

"Talk to him. Tell him what you’re feeling. Ask if he feels the same way," said Mingjue.

“You made it sound that simple, Da-ge.”

"I think you should let him know that you’re open to having a more intimate relationship. It seems he’s feeling something too since he’s cuddling you,” added Jin Guangyao.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Mingjue take a a big sip of wine before to talk again. “Just close your eyes and jump, man. You got this."

[butterflydm]

The Untamed Rewatch (ep 6)

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aka in which WWX as a friend comes with many benefits *winky-face*

Yeah, this is definitely the episode where WWX goes from thinking of LWJ as an uptight person to poke fun at and try to provoke and starts thinking of him as a person with deep emotions hidden under lock and key. This is also the episode when WWX decides he actually wants to be LWJ's friend and starts working towards that goal. He does still provoke LWJ after this, but that's more due to his natural personality rather than intentional poking to get a reaction.

We learn more about schooldays WWX here, as we see that he and Nie Huaisang have a simple knock code for afterhours hangouts. The three bros are hanging out drinking and eating peanuts. They're all fairly drunk, judging their behavior. Jiang Cheng and WWX needle each other about their potential marriage prospects. Jiang Cheng apparently has QUITE a laundry list of requirements for his future marriage partner. Maybe. Jiang Cheng. Babe. Maybe this is why you don't have one in the future. Maybe your standards aren't realistic. So, we've got: beautiful, tender, diligent, can run a household, good family, quiet, frugal, not too high a cultivation level. It does seem like Jiang Cheng wants someone who will run everything behind the scenes but never challenge him — possibly because his parents' marriage is so contentious? 

We don't see many healthy & happy marriages on-screen in the drama overall — Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian argue in front of their children (among other issues), Jin Guangshan and Madame Jin don't need elaboration, the parents of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji have a very messed up story even if you look at it as generously as possible, the Mo family don't seem terribly happy either tbh and also raised a bully and continued to cosset him into adulthood, Jin Guangyao and Qin Su, well…

Two of the happy marriages we see end in the early death of both spouses, who leave behind a small child who needs to be raised by others — WWX's parents, and Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. The only real exception is MianMian and her husband, who do appear to be happy and are also still alive by the end of the series, but obviously that can't serve as an example to any of our characters in the flashback episodes. Am I missing any examples of good marriages?

All of which is to say… if Jiang Cheng does have issues with marriage and maybe even sets his standards so high because he's hesitant to get married at all, I can understand why.

Lan Wangji comes in and breaks up the… party, and WWX takes advantage of him turning his back to place a talisman on him that forces him to act under WWX's control, which is definitely not a good thing for WWX to do. WWX does seem surprised that it worked but this ties into one of the main things that the… eh, evil, I suppose, characters do, which is turn other people into puppets to act through. I do think WWX learns his lesson here with this talisman, not because he himself was punished over the event, but because it meant LWJ got punished when he didn't deserve it. WWX, for all his trickster tendencies, does have a strong sense of fair play.

But, imo, the main reason of this choice on the part of the drama is because they need WWX to see through some of LWJ's emotional walls and start to see him as a person rather than a rulebook now, in the flashback, because they want to make sure to establish a mutual bond in the past as well (which I feel is related to their attempts to sidle around censorship rules since they know they won't be able to do the kisses or the "I really wanted to sleep with you back then" type moments). 

It's also about the rule of unintended consequences — WWX wants LWJ to relax and stop being so fussy over the rules, and instead he gets something completely unexpected that throws him for a loop and makes him reconsider who LWJ is as a person. He learns about the importance of the forehead ribbon, and he sees LWJ's loneliness and sadness.

There are a couple of different ways I can take LWJ going "yeah, that's fine" to WWX telling him no woman is gonna want to marry him: first, that he's not attracted to women and he knows and accepts it or, second, that having seen what happened with his parents, the idea of staying single seems more attractive than the idea of being married. Going back up to 'not a lot of examples of happy marriages in CQL' (there might be more in the novel), again, and LWJ would know about even fewer. His only real example of marriage is a set of matched cages, his and hers.

The moment when WWX realizes that LWJ's mom is dead is beautifully-played, I think.

He realizes they have something in common and confides to LWJ. Now, since we know LWJ is a black-out drunk in present-day, he probably doesn't remember anything that happened after WWX had him take a drink (which is why he doesn't already know why WWX is afraid of dogs when they talk again about it in the present-day), but WWX doesn't know that when he tells LWJ about his parents and about living on the street. 

We do also get WWX talking about his bad memory here — he says that he thinks he should be able to remember his parents, but mostly he remembers is the trauma that happened afterwards. From what I've read of people's posts about the novel, WWX's bad memory is used differently there but, in the drama, it seems to be tied to trauma overwhelming other things. And we get the flashback to tiniest bb!WWX with his parents and I die. It's so cute. He confides in LWJ and essentially begins the process of adopting him as a friend.

So, the Lan Qiren & Lan Xichen scene makes me wonder, and this might be answered later but, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue must already be friends at this point, yeah? They're both young sect leaders and Lan Xichen speaks highly of NMJ's integrity to Meng Yao. It's either implied or said flat-out, I think, that Nie Mingjue has sent Nie Huaisang to Gusu to study for multiple years, so obviously Nie Mingjue thinks highly of Lan sect's teachings as well. So, like, they had this established friendship going on that Jin Guangyao gets in the middle of and ultimately taints in a way by using Lan Xichen's teachings as the way he learns how to kill Nie Mingjue.

That's really sad!

Anyway, the bros (plus poor innocent LWJ) get busted for sneaking alcohol into the Cloud Recesses and other shenanigans and we learn that WWX's mom acted the way same when Lan Qiren knew her. They never talk about it on-screen during the time of the drama, but I like to think at some point, post-canon, WWX is able to weedle stories about his mom about Lan Qiren. Let me have my dreams! I'm not sure if Lan Xichen also met her at some point — he would have been pretty young since she died when WWX was a kidlet and he doesn't say anything about it, so probably not — or he's just amused because he thinks WWX is amusing.

Lan Xichen's face is so shocked when he learns Wangji (apparently) took part in WWX's secret drinking party. Like, he wanted WWX to be friends with his brother and maybe teach him to have fun, but this result was not expected! And since LWJ doesn't tell them what really happened and WWX gets cut off before he can explain, does LXC continue to think that WWX talked his brother into drinking with him or does he assume something more along the lines of what really happened?

So, I'm not sure if I need to say this or not but: I'm not a fan of violent punishments; I don't think they teach anything useful. But since the show doesn't really depict them as successful in that way, I don't necessarily have an issue with them being part of the narrative any more than I have issues with other violent choices by characters, if that makes sense? But just to make my own position on it clear, I guess! I don't think an authority figure hurting someone under their care is justified because that person broke their rules.

Anyway, Lan Xichen obviously doesn't hold WWX's apparent influence over LWJ's actions against him, because he points WWX in the direction of the cold springs, where he already knows his brother is chilling. 

We get the first scene between WWX and LWJ after WWX has decided they shall Now Be Friends. I've gotta say, this scene has the same energy as Darcy's first proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice: I'm about to insult you (/your family) and don't realize at all this might be off-putting when I ask for a deeper emotional bond between us. And, much like with Elizabeth, I don't blame LWJ for being… 'no'. Like, WWX literally just said "hey, I thought you were boring but have now decided to give you the honor of being my friend". He's basically trying to neg LWJ into a friendship, it's a terrible approach.

I think we also get our first Gay Panic moment from poor LWJ here as his annoying, arrogant, stubborn-as-hell crush looks like he might strip in front of him. And then talks about the pretty girls back home. Poor LWJ.

They get yoinked into the cave where Lan Yi is holding the Yin Metal. I'm guessing this is all added since the Yin Metal wasn't a plotline in the novel, but it's a fun time (I mean, not really for the boys; they're pretty cold and wet). The show uses it as an excuse to put in some things they probably couldn't have otherwise sneaked in like WWX and LWJ getting tied together with the sacred forehead ribbon, plus it's also used to jumpstart the extra flashback stuff related to the drama-only Yin Metal plot. It's used to give us exposition in a way that's interesting for both us and the characters, plus there are bunnies.

Oh, they mention here that playing Spirit Inquiry is passed down through the family, and I remember I think that Lan Sizhui says that he's been learning it when we get to the future? That's so cute. If my memory is correct, hah.

Meeting Lan Yi and all the stuff with her is great. I understand (from what I've read of them) why some people have issues with the Yin Metal storyline in general. Obviously, as I was watching it without knowing it was drama-only, it did really work for me and it still does so far. WWX is less of an absolute genius, as he doesn't invent the discipline of demonic cultivation, but he does end up being the only person who is able to practice it large-scale without getting eaten up by it (... on his second try, but still). 

Instead, what the drama does is set up several cautionary tales/parallels for WWX. The sects joining forces to destroy the current master of demonic cultivation becomes a reoccuring theme — first with Xue Chonghai in the distant past, then Wen Rouhan in the early/middle flashback sequence, then Wei Wuxian at the end of the flashback sequence. 

Lan Yi was, apparently, the only female head of Lan Sect, but she did invent the cool musical technique that gets passed down from generation to generation. Lan Yi is a very likable character. She's polite and helpful and she raises bunnies and she readily admits to her mistakes of the past. She also has been working hard to try to mitigate the damage caused by her big mistake. She's a good person, but not perfect.

We also see the contrast here between Lan Yi and Lan Qiren — WWX essentially makes the same kind of suggestion here that he does in Lan Qiren's classroom but where LQR got angry and indignant over the idea, Lan Yi is sympathetic because she'd wondered the same thing. And one main difference between them that Lan Yi brings up is that she felt like she needed the edge because of the sexism she had to face as a female sect leader.

The first of our WWX-LWJ relationship parallels pops up here too — Lan Yi's one true friend was Baoshan. Lan Yi was young and aggressive, needed an edge, wouldn't listen to other people telling her that resentful energy was too much to handle, thought she could handle it all on her own. Baoshan was worried that the resentful energy would end up controlling and damaging her instead. It's a fairly blatant parallel. I really like that LWJ's parallel is the teacher of WWX's mom and WWX's parallel is LWJ's ancestor. Much like the other parallels we will run across, the story of Lan Yi and Baoshan ends more sadly than WWX and LWJ will; it's a cautionary tale. But even their endings do echo what happens at the end of the flashbacks — after Baoshan fails to stop Lan Yi from using the Yin Metal, she goes into seclusion and separates herself from the world emotionally, while Lan Yi is wounded and unleashed something dangerous she can't control.

So.... Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji go missing together. For hours. When they get found (in the next episode), obviously Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen find out where they really were but… what exactly does everyone else think happened to them? When they were missing together. For hours. And come back soaking wet with LWJ's sacred forehead ribbon wrapped around their wrists and unharmed (...and shoeless). 

*gazes off into the distance*

*thinks about how all the disciples learn about the forehead ribbon in lessons*

*thinks about Jiang Cheng's reactions in the future when WWX ditches him for LWJ*

*gazes off into the distance again*

In the search scene, we get another moment when Jiang Yanli is Feeling Poorly. I swear, that girl is sick every time we turn around. I want to give her a warm blanket and have someone else feed her soup for a change. Ah, we get Jiang Cheng's first empty threat about breaking someone's legs here (chronologically-speaking). Honestly, Jin Ling is such a reckless kiddo. Despite having literally zero of WWX's genes, I feel like he gives Jiang Cheng WWX flashbacks all the time.

Speaking of Jin Ling, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get a classic romantic trope when she slips and he catches her in his arms (a romantic trope that WWX enjoys with LWJ many times in the future, bless). I've been wanting to keep an eye on him and his assumptions and his reactions to her. They do quite a bit of staring before they break away, and it does look like he's feeling something too. But then he immediately flees. It's a miracle he ever managed to marry her.

Next time: Lan Wangji falls in love; Wei Wuxian gets himself kicked out of the Cloud Recesses.

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