#lan wangji's hope was not foolish. though it must have felt so

[narcissusneverknewme]

The way The Untamed tells you "this is a tragedy" from its first breath, and then marches mercilessly towards that tragedy, deepening and broadening it with every passing second. The way it makes you cling to the impossible hope that it will be alright in the end, somehow. The way knowing it's a tragedy isn't enough to fight that hope..

We live this way for 50 episodes but Lan Wangji lived it for more than a dozen years. We know he did because he's still looking for Wei Ying; not only in the sense that Jiang Cheng tells us he does - literally searching for remains - but in the way he seems to hear hope in the rustle of every tree, to see it in the unexplained, in figures half seen. He can't fight hope either.

'Wei Ying is that you" when it can't be, it shouldn't be.

[needtherapy]

soaring, carried aloft on the wind...continued 15

A story for Xichen and Mingjue, in another time and another place.

The Beifeng, the mighty empire of the north, invaded more than a year ago, moving inexorably south and east.

In order to buy peace, the chief of the Lan clan has given the Beifeng warlord a gift, his second oldest son in marriage. However, when Xichen finds out he makes a plan.

He, too, can give a gift to the Beifeng warlord, and he will not regret it.

Part 1: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13   Part 2: 14 / 15 / … HOME

It’s complete on AO3 here.

Notes: Check the tags if you’re concerned about the pairings ;)

For translations of the entirely fictitious Beifeng language, you’ll have to scroll to notes. I’m only going to translate something that’s not clear in the text. Sadly, there’s just not any other good way to do it on Tumblr!

Chapter 15 Earlier

Huaisang looked nervous, and it was not an expression that sat easily on his face. He paced in Xichen’s tent, ignoring his questions until Xichen finally set down his book and grabbed Huaisang’s arm.

“Anati, I am going to throw you out of my tent and into a snowbank if you do not tell me what bothers you.”

It was an idle threat, and they both knew it. Xichen was far too happy to do any such thing, and everyone knew it. He did try not to walk through every day with a foolish smile on his face, but he knew he failed most of the time, especially the days he woke to the sight of Mingjue’s face next to his. Especially on the days Mingjue stopped to see Xichen while he was working in the hospital to kiss his forehead. Especially on the days they put on their warmest clothes and rode out across the frozen plains together. Xichen was not so childish as to think they would never have any conflicts, but he was also not so naïve as to think the love he felt was common. It certainly wasn’t something he’d ever seen before.

Huaisang sank down onto a round pillow and sighed. “Anakau wants me to tell you something, but I’m a coward, and I don’t want to.”

Huaisang was in no way a coward, but he looked truly miserable, and Xichen’s heart stopped. All he could think was that Huaisang had heard some news about his family, or something terrible had happened to his brother, and his grip on Huaisang’s wrist tightened.

“Tell me,” he whispered hoarsely.

“We have had an offer from the Jin clan, an offer of good faith. They wish us to end our current advancement on their city and consider negotiations. I do not wish to accept anything…” Huaisang paused, his face darkening. “I’m sorry, I can’t explain more, but we are considering it, at least for the duration of winter. It would buy us time.”

Xichen let out a whooshing breath of relief, but Huaisang looked unhappy still.

“It is an offer like...like the Lan clan made.”

Xichen sat back and instinctively pulled on the stony, impassive mask he had not needed in months. “Mingjue wants to accept?”

Did he have a right to feel betrayed? Icy fingers crawled up Xichen’s back as he considered the terms of the treaty. For his pleasure. Given first consideration. In equal status. Pledge of life bond. No, they were breaking no terms, but he had thought…

It didn’t matter what he had thought. He reminded himself of the facts. He was a gift, not a choice. And he had no choices either. He could not go home to his father.

Xichen dug his thumbnail into his palm to focus his thoughts and still his expression into neutrality, but he must have looked betrayed, because Huaisang shook his head, words rushing out of him.

“It would not be like you. No one could be like you. There are reasons this is important, and they don’t have anything to do with you. Anakau is not happy with me, but it...I think we should accept a conditional agreement, a trial period of sorts, as though we are seeing if the situation suits. It would only be for three months, and it would not be real, Xichen. You are not being replaced.”

This last was said with such guilty vehemence, some of Xichen’s hurt faded, but not all of it. Perhaps not replaced, but he can’t imagine this won’t change things.

“I think we need to do this,” Huaisang added. “We won’t get another opportunity to...well, anyway, anakau told me I had to talk to you about it first. If it helps, I think he’s punishing me.”

It did not help. Xichen still felt wounded, creeping apprehension slithering around his gut. He should not have become so accustomed to his life over the past few months. He should not have forgotten what his role was here. He didn’t want this, but there was nothing he could say. No matter what he felt, no matter what he believed Mingjue felt, in truth, Xichen was only a visitor here.

“You do not need my permission, Huaisang,” Xichen reminded him, aiming for serenity but not quite managing to keep the disappointment entirely of his voice, and Huaisang sagged.

“I know, but I wanted you to know before...before he arrives. If I didn’t believe it was necessary…” He ran his fingers over his hair, disrupting some of it from his braid. Standing swiftly, he stalked to the door, but paused and turned back. “I think of us as friends and brothers, Xichen, and I hope you can forgive me.”

He disappeared, and Xichen hoped so too.

When Mingjue came for dinner, he hovered in the doorway, hands behind his back, uncertainty stamped on his face, until Xichen sighed and beckoned him in.

“This is not for me,” he said quietly, without moving. “You are...angry?

The worst part was, Xichen wasn’t. He believed Huaisang. He knew the brothers had secrets. And he loved Mingjue. He could trust them for a little while longer, he thought, ignoring the voice that said you have no other option.

“No. Just worried,” he said, mostly truthfully, and then Mingjue moved, crushing Xichen in his arms and tucking his face against Xichen’s neck.

“Komi auha, edas ahora,” he murmured, and Xichen let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, sinking himself deeper into Mingjue’s embrace like a slowly submerging stone.

Evidently, the Jin clan expected their offer to be accepted, because the Jin emissary—it makes it easier for Xichen to think of him in political terms—arrived by the end of the next week. Huaisang asked Xichen to attend the greeting, and Xichen only agreed for the chance to silently observe the Jin man. He noted with unkind satisfaction that Mingjue’s face was still filled with storm clouds when he looked at his brother.

It was disappointing, though, that Jin Guangyao, the man Huaisang said was the eldest son of the Jin clan chief, was more appealing than Xichen wished he was. He was a little taller than Huaisang and looked to be Xichen’s age or even younger, with fine, delicate features and large soft eyes that reminded Xichen of the deer who lurked around the horse yards, hoping to steal their grain.

Jin Guangyao bowed deeply to Mingjue, spine stiff, shoulders straight. “Chifeng-Zun, this one is willing to serve in any way necessary to ensure peace for three months as agreed. Or longer.”

Mingjue’s expression didn’t change and he didn’t respond to Huaisang’s translation immediately, but Xichen thought his eyes had an appraising look in them, hopefully only curious about Jin Guangyao’s rigorous formality and not interested in his perfect skin and full mouth. Jin Guangyao looked up at him from lowered eyelashes, a curve of a smile on his lips, and Mingjue arched an eyebrow.

“Ti erodino anot auha. Eina et nagita di pia ti?” Mingjue asked Huaisang, and Huaisang frowned at him.

Neither of them was looking at Jin Guangyao, so only Xichen saw his reaction to Mingjue’s blunt assessment—He looks weak. What use is he? Anger flashed across his eyes, disappearing as swiftly as one of Wangji’s moods, and Xichen realized that if nothing else, Jin Guangyao spoke enough Orera to be insulted. How interesting.

Huaisang led them to Jin Guangyao’s tent, near Xichen’s. It was smaller and there were spells set in twisting lines of metallic thread on the door flap. Xichen had been learning about the Ikarahu magic since his birthday, hoping to use Sikunadis to its full potential. Their magic was  more ambient than innate, theoretically unlimited in scope, and skilled users could form fire-like towers of heat, shift piles of dirt, control bodies of water, or cause great gusts of wind. However, it was slower and more difficult to access than Xichen’s power, requiring complex drawings in air or on surfaces to hold the magic or precise positioning of the hands and fingers.

The magic could also be stored in small amounts in the metal Sikunadis was made of, and Ikarharu craftsmen used thin wires of it in weaving, in books, in healing tools, even in the bridles they used to break wild horses. Xichen wasn’t able to pull magic from the air, ground, or water the way the Ikarahu did yet—Huaisang thought he would eventually be able to learn the skill—but he could activate the woven spells. The ones on Jin Guangyao’s tent were, to Xichen’s eyes, very clearly a lock.

Jin Guangyao frowned at the guards. “Is this one a prisoner?”

Huaisang laughed merrily. “No, you aren’t a prisoner, Guangyao. The guards are for your safety, of course.”

The man’s chin tilted up slightly when Huaisang said his name, although Xichen wasn’t sure if it was offense at the informality or if he suspected the lie. Two interesting things, he thought.

Xichen had heard Kitingi crying overhead as they walked, but Huaisang always seemed to know when she wanted to land. He held up a hand before they entered Jin Guangyao’s new home, and with a rustle of wings, she was there, alighting so swiftly it was as though she had appeared from nowhere.

“Oh,” Guangyao said, and for a single breath, there was something different on his face, a look of naked wonder, a sudden tempest of intelligence that turned into curiosity. “She’s beautiful.”

Huaisang’s expression sharpened. “How do you know Kitingi is a female?” “Males have black eye masks,” Guangyao said absently, without taking his eyes from Kitingi, and Kitingi preened one outstretched wing, accepting his admiration as her due.

“You are very observant, Guangyao. Where did you learn about munaku?” Huaisang asked with a casual grin.

He set Kitingi on Xichen’s shoulder and Jin Guangyao’s fingers twitched, as though he wanted to lift his hand to intercept her, but as quickly as the impulse had compelled him, it passed, and he straightened, the calm sea returning to his face.

Instead of answering Huaisang, he bowed to Xichen with a dazzling smile that showed off perfect white teeth and dimples that made him look younger. “Although we have never spoken, this one is familiar with your reputation. Would this one be allowed to visit Zewu-Jun?”

“Zewu-Jun is not a prisoner either, Guangyao,” Huaisang said before Xichen could answer. “When he is not with Ipira’orhew Ikira, he is generous enough to spend time helping our healers, though, so don’t be offended if he’s hard to find.”

Jin Guangyao’s smile was tight, and he nodded understanding. Xichen thought he truly did understand Huaisang’s meaning. He felt sorry for this man, who seemed gentle and polite and ill-suited to be a political prisoner.

“Is Ipira’orhew Ikira the title Chifeng-Zun would prefer?” Jin Guangyao asked blandly, and Huaisang waved his hand dismissively.

“It doesn’t matter one way or the other. Whichever is easier for you to say.” Jin Guangyao took a moment to digest this, and then asked, “Does Huaisang have a title he would prefer?”

Xichen was startled. He had never thought to ask if Huasiang had a title. Huaisang seemed startled too, and Xichen thought he might not answer.

He pursed his lips thoughtfully, but eventually replied, “I do not necessarily prefer it, but my title is Oringa'anhu Ikira.”

Hidden Cat Lord, Xichen translated in his head without smiling as he wanted to. It seemed fitting.

Jin Guangyao rolled the words around, faster with the unfamiliar tones than Xichen had been. “It is pleasing to say. If there is no objection, this one will use it.”

Huaisang turned with a careless shrug, taking Xichen’s elbow to lead him out of the tent, but the expression on his face was not one Xichen had ever seen before.

“I don’t like him,” Qingyang told him over dinner, sniffing her cup of white tea.

Xichen had found that the Ikarahu actually liked their bitter, dark tea. For months, he had despaired of ever drinking anything palatable again until the day Mingjue presented him with a jar of delicate white tea that smelled like summer and was immediately recognizable as one of the finest Zhao teas. Xichen hoarded it fiercely, but he was willing to share it with Qingyang, because she, at least, would appreciate it.  

Although she still taught him Orera, Qingyang had recently begun spending her free time in the company of Titakau, the Ikarahu healer who was teaching Xichen her tribe’s way of using tiny needles to alleviate pain and adjust energy flow. The woman had watched Qingyang with huge dark eyes for months and had eventually worked up the courage to do more than look. Xichen was happy for Qingyang, whose feet seemed to be drifting on air, but he missed her and was not above bribing her with tea. Selfishly, he wanted her opinion on Jin Guangyao.

He took a sip and held it in his mouth before asking, “Do you know him?”

“I have met him. He’s considered charming and handsome.” She shrugged as if they were rumors she couldn’t personally verify, and Xichen suppressed a smile. “I’m not sure anyone knows him. More importantly, and more unfortunately, I know the Jin chief. At best, Guangyao is an agent of his father. At worst, he is a true son of his father.” She shuddered and took another sip.

“It would be better if he was a spy?” Xichen asked, and Qingyang noded without elaborating. “Do you think that is likely?”

She shrugged. “Who knows, but he is too clever and too self-possessed to be here for any reason but his own. I don’t trust him, and you shouldn’t either.”

Xichen nodded and thanked her for her advice. He trusted Qingyang, but Xichen couldn’t bring himself to condemn the man for his father’s sins, whatever they might be, as Xichen hoped no one would think he was like his father.

In only a few words, she had confirmed what Xichen thought about Jin Guangyao. He was clever and composed. He was handsome and polite. He was undoubtedly there for some concealed purpose. And now, Qingyang had made Xichen even more curious about what exactly it was.

Notes:  Komi auha, edas ahora. = I am sorry, beloved husband.

[ibijau]

demon NHS // On AO3

Set after wwx freed the Wens, and a little before NHS meets his mother

The last notes hung in the air, giving the room a peaceful air it often lacked. Lan Xichen had not often had the occasion to come into Nie Huaisang’s quarters before things took the turn they had, but it had been enough to find out the other boy, trying so hard to be elegant and refined in public, hid a messy side in private. It had grown worse lately. Back when Lan Xichen started playing music to help him keep his nature under control, Nie Huaisang at least made efforts to put some order to his things.

For his last two visits, the mess had been allowed to remain. 

It was not the only sign that Nie Huaisang was struggling more and more with the situation. There was also the lack of care with which he had dressed himself, the state of his hair, the way he no longer smiled when Lan Xichen joked. And that was only what Lan Xichen himself could see. Nie Mingjue had mentioned terrible arguments between them, usually on the subject of Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Huaisang, apparently, was of the opinion that although his manners had not been ideal, Wei Wuxian had been right to interrupt the Flower Banquet and demand to be given an account of the surviving Wen's treatment, that the Jin's actions needed to be investigated, especially those of Jin Zixun. In short, he wanted Qinghe Nie to give support to Wei Wuxian. Nie Mingjue, however fair he tried to be in other matters, refused to listen in that one, arguing that the lives of some Wen dogs were not worth so much trouble, and that Nie Huaisang would do well to forget he had ever been friends with Wei Wuxian. 

In truth, a similar discussion was happening between Lan Xichen and his own brother, though with a great deal less shouting. Wei Wuxian was not a man of many friends, but those he had certainly were fiercely loyal to him. 

And yet news had just arrived from Yiling about Jiang Wanyin visiting his brother, about Wei Wuxian seceding from Yunmeng Jiang… 

"Is Er-ge too angry at me?" Nie Huaisang asked. 

His train of thoughts interrupted, Lan Xichen's gaze fell on the other man, still in a meditative position, his eyes closed. In spite of the song played to him, there was little peace to be found on his handsome face. It made Lan Xichen sad that he could not help more. They had never been particularly close before this started, and even now Nie Huaisang probably would not have called him a friend, not when he had Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian, but still… Lan Xichen felt an ever deepening fondness for the unfortunate young man, and wished he could have done more. 

He missed how insouciant Nie Huaisang used to be, how easily he would laugh. Lan Xichen didn't think he'd heard him laugh since his nature had been revealed.

"Who do you think is angry at you, Huaisang?" 

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes and gave him a long, tired look, as if to signify he found the question a particularly stupid one. 

"Da-ge is furious that I want to help Wei Wuxian," he pointed out. "That's why he called you here, he thinks I must be going crazy if I agree with protecting a bunch of Wen. San-ge is upset that when I yelled at his father and everyone else, I've ruined all our hard work in making me look weak and insignificant, which is why he also wants you here to calm me. And then there's everyone else who is just generally angry that I'm still around and wants me dead, but I don't much care what they think. Your opinion I do care about. Are you angry too, Er-ge? "

Lan Xichen winced at the ease with which Nie Huaisang spoke of being so hated. Sadly, it was a fair assessment. Nie Huaisang, even more than Wei Wuxian, had few people on his side outside of his sect (or even inside it). Hearing him publicly stand up for his friend had certainly not endeared him to anyone, just as it probably made Wei Wuxian's own case worse. 

"You have done nothing that Wangji did not do as well, although perhaps a little more noisily. I am not angry at him for doing what he thought was right, so I see no reason to be angry at you either."

"He's your brother, it's different," Nie Huaisang pouted. 

"We're family as well, in a sense, and so I will extend the same good will to you as I would show any brother of mine. I am not angry at you, Huaisang." 

"Unhappy then. Upset?" 

"Worried," Lan Xichen conceded. "I wish more people saw you the way your brother, A-Yao, and me see you." 

Nie Huaisang snorted in disdain, but something still relaxed in his expression and he finally stretched out of his meditation posture. 

"Useless and foolish and only good at getting in trouble, that's me!" 

"Clever when you feel like it and devoted to the people you care about," Lan Xichen countered. "I will not contest that you are rather good at getting in trouble, but lately that's only because people around you are unreasonable." 

A weak smile found its way to Nie Huaisang’s lips. 

"Er-ge is too kind." he sighed. "I wish Da-ge and San-ge saw this the same way as you do. I'm glad they finally agree on something again, I just wish it weren't on how much I messed up." 

For some reason, Lan Xichen felt an impulse to pet Nie Huaisang’s hair or hug him or just do something to comfort him. It was just so wrong for him to be so melancholic. But it would have been improper for Lan Xichen to be so informal with him when they weren't that close, so he restrained himself. 

"I'm sure they're just worried, like me," he said. "I will be going back to them now. If they are just worried I'll scold them for not showing it more kindly. If they are angry… I'll try to deal with that for you." 

Nie Huaisang broke into a large, happy smile, and thanked him profusely for that promise. For a moment he looked almost like the cheerful boy he used to be, and just that would be worse the headache Lan Xichen was sure to get while trying to get his sworn brothers to calm down. 

-

"Of course I'm angry at him," Nie Mingjue huffed while Jin Guangyao poured tea for all three of them. "That little idiot, losing control over something like that!" 

"He did not lose control," Lan Xichen protested, smiling at Jin Guangyao when he handed him a cup of tea. "In fact, I remember him backing off the instant you ordered him to." 

"Storming off and going after Wangji and that girl who defected is not backing down."

Lan Xichen frowned, but before he could protest, Jin Guangyao intervened. 

"It was really bad timing, and I wish Huaisang had kept quiet. Now people will certainly think that he is associated with what Wei Wuxian is doing with those Wen cultivators. Our Didi's reputation did not need that."

Jin Guangyao sounded genuinely worried, as he always did when their conversation were about Nie Huaisang. Lan Xichen dared not imagine what his sworn brother must have heard when Nie Mingjue was not around to keep people quiet.

"Did you investigate what was going on in that camp?" Lan Xichen asked. "Was there any truth to Wei Wuxian's claims?" 

"Some of the guards were at times a little rough," Jin Guangyao conceded with a sigh. "But nothing more than a little bullying, a few unkind words here and there. Jin Zixun swears that the incident Wei Wuxian described also never happened, and as we know, Wei Wuxian could have a grudge against him." 

"Jin Zixun is not the most trustworthy person out there," Lan Xichen pointed out. 

Jin Guangyao froze in the movement of sipping some tea, and flashed him a pained look. "Er-ge, do you think I took him to his word? I asked others as well, of course. I know how my cousin can be when he gets upset, and I double checked." 

Lan Xichen felt embarrassed for having doubted his sworn brother's zeal. After such accusations, it was normal that Lanling Jin would have made sure that nothing wrong had happened within its ranks. Certainly Wei Wuxian had sounded very sincerely upset, and Nie Huaisang seemed to fully trust him, but… Jin Guangyao would not have lied to them.

"Go tell that to Huaisang then," Nie Mingjue said. "Maybe he'll stop moping around like a molting hawk if he just hears that he was wrong."

"Huaisang doesn't listen to anyone these days," Jin Guangyao sighed. "Me least of all, since I have nothing to say that he wants to hear." 

Nie Mingjue reluctantly nodded to that, glaring at his half empty cup of tea as if it were responsible for the unease between him and his brother.

"I think he's bored," Lan Xichen hazarded. "He's been very isolated since this all started, and now he can't even write to his best friend. You can't fault him for being upset." 

“Then perhaps Huaisang needs more… appropriate friends,” Jin Guangyao suggested. “I know Jin Zixuan is organising a Night Hunt in a few weeks with a few others. I think if I asked him, he would agree to invite Huaisang.”

“A Night Hunt?” Nie Mingjue grunted. “Isn’t that going against everything you’ve been telling him to do for over a year?”

That was Lan Xichen’s thought as well. They had worked so hard to make it clear that Nie Huaisang was harmless, it would ruin everything if he started slaying monsters. Besides, even before the truth came out, Nie Huaisang had never enjoyed Night Hunting, so this seemed like a rather poor way to find him friends.

“Don’t worry, Da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said with a pleasant smile. “It is not the sort of Hunt you would go on. As I understand, quite a few young ladies have been invited, most of which just so happen to be either engaged to Jin Zixuan and friends of his, or hoped to become so in the future. The boys are going there to show off, the girls are going there to admire them. If Nie Huaisang stays with the girls during the actual Night Hunt there’s no risk at all, but he’ll show again how tame he is. It had worked quite well during the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, right?”

“I don’t like it,” Nie Minjgue insisted. “I’m not worried about fierce corpses and monsters, I’m worried about what would happen if someone decided to take their chance and attacked him.”

“Then send a few trusted Nie disciples with him if you’d like. But you needn’t worry. Jin Zixuan would not allow any harm to come to him. In fact, since Nie Huaisang has so openly declared himself in favour of Wei Wuxian, it is likely that my brother, put in his presence, will try to befriend him even without my prompting him to do so. After all Lady Jiang will be there and he is still very eager to impress his fiancée.”

Even with this promise, Nie Mingjue looked unconvinced, so Jin Guangyao turned to Lan Xichen for support, silently pleading for his help. On any other subject, Lan Xichen would have quickly sided with him, but for once he felt uncertain.

“Wouldn’t it be simpler to organise an occasion where he could meet with Jin Zixuan and chat with him alone?” he suggested. “I think Huaisang could get along with him if he tried, but I’m less sure about the crowd that usually follows him. Would Jin Zixun be there?"

"He sees Wei Wuxian in every shadow these days, so that's very unlikely," Jin Guangyao explained. "As for your idea… Er-ge, it is possible for my father to allow Nie Huaisang to join a Night Hunt if Jin Zixuan requests it, but meeting in private would be too much considering the current… situation. Otherwise, I would not have suggested an activity Huaisang dislikes this much."

It made sense, sadly. Jin Guangshan had never directly taken sides against Nie Huaisang, but he had also made no effort to silence those who did. Yet with how fond he was of his only legitimate child, it might work if Jin Zixuan started arguing in favour of Nie Huaisang. 

"I suppose it might not be bad," Lan Xichen admitted. "He looked very unhappy earlier." Like a caged bird with clipped wings, he thought. Like a flower cut and displayed in a vase, starting to wilt for lack of roots. "He can't stay in his room for the rest of his life, Mingjue."

Even with the most logical of arguments, Jin Guangyao could never have convinced Nie Mingjue. Yet now that Lan Xichen approved it, the plan was instantly less distasteful. 

"I'd be sending him with the best disciples his age," Nie Mingjue warned. "And he'd be taking his sabre." 

"It would be odd if he didn't take it," Jin Guangyao replied with a note of amusement. "This is a Night Hunt in name at least, and it would be unseemly for a cultivator of his rank to appear without his weapon. The same goes for him having companions. He is the Second Master of Qinghe Nie, of course he cannot travel alone. Da-ge, I also want Huaisang to be safe ! Tell me all your conditions, and as soon as I return to Lanling, I will talk with Jin Zixuan to see if he agrees to help. Everything will be fine, Da-ge.”

Nie Mingjue looked unconvinced, but started naming his demands, which Jin Guangyao listened to without a single protest.

It would be good for Huaisang to be around people again, Lan Xichen told himself. It would force him out of his melancholy, and it might make him a little more reasonable in his views of Wei Wuxian if he could just have other people to talk to.

It would be good for him.

And yet, Lan Xichen couldn’t help feeling at least as worried as Nie Mingjue was.

[ruensroad]

Dragon god au prompt 3 - wangxian first meeting?

AHHH thank you so much! I’m glad people are enjoying this AU! More of the Dragon God ‘verse here!

Prompt from this list here!

Prompt 3 | “Don’t be nervous, you can come closer.” | Wangxian

There was something almost soothing about the fire below. Even from the cliff, he could hear the sizzle and bubbling of the lava, the creak of rock crumbling in the immense heat. It was a forbidden, forsaken place, so different from the Lake that had claimed his brother’s soul. Here, it was open air, a thousand foot drop, and hissing shadows. Mysterious, yet foreboding.

It would be enough for any man to turn away and go back the way they came. Too many ghosts screamed in the air, too many dark flickers laughed in the corner of the eye. The tales, so often flourished, had not been wrong about this place, this Burial Mound. To die here was to become just another spirit lost, should the Dragon God who had claimed it found him wanting.

He should have turned back miles ago, at the base of the mountain. Should care more about what the stories would say, this tragic Lan who killed himself after his own brother’s brave sacrifice. What a shame, what a shame.

It was for his brother he was here at all, looking down into the fiery pit, and felt nothing but calm, resolution. Anger. 

“I am here to seek audience with the Dragon of Yiling,” Lan Wangji said, bold and sure, before turning his back to the cliff as tradition dictated. The sacrifice must face their home, all they were leaving, and go backwards, just as his brother had done, eyes never leaving Lan Wangji’s as he slowly disappeared under the water.

Only the air here was there to swallow him, and with a step backwards he was off the cliff, tumbling in a total freefall into the rest of his life. Or his death, should the Dragon God ignore him. Either way, he was going with a clear mind and determination, and if this was death he’d meet it gladly.

Feeling the hot air slow him, cradle him, was a victory. As the starry sky above dissolved into ashes and fire, his world began to glow with black rock and vibrant magma, down and down and down, until he was gently set on his feet at the bottom of the world.

The cave was huge, with a sprawling estate nestled in-between glowing rocks. He was startled to see shadows moving from building to building, and realized that they were people, or what were once people, hustling as though this grand place was not in the bowels of the earth, but a town no different than Lan Wangji’s own home, open and carefree.

Then the smoke came, billowing around his ankles, sweeping his robes, and he turned. The darkness behind him was absolute, save for two glowing red eyes at his own height, and the impression of flashing white teeth - a grin - in the blackness.

“Do not fear,” the Dragon of Yiling told him, voice far more low and almost soothing than a cursed beast’s should ever be. “Approach, let me see the mortal who dares to come so willingly.”

It was not a pleasant sentence, nearly mocking, and Lan Wangji wondered how many had come before to meet this creature face to face, boastful and foolish. He stepped forward into a patch of glowing light and held his head high, for he was neither a boastful fool or ignorant. He had a purpose and this Dragon God would know it.

Those eyes did indeed take on an impressed gleam the longer they stared at one another, then with a whisper of air the Dragon God was slowly circling him, like a vulture, or a wolf, eyeing him like meat, like something confusing, but interesting, and funny.

Seeing the boyish smile, the utterly handsome face was a shock to Lan Wangji’s senses, one that did not go unnoticed, if the way that grin only sharpened meant anything, unbound and wild. “So, tell me mortal, what do you seek? My treasure? My power? Do you yearn to conquer the world, perhaps? Or win a war?”

He said this as though all had been asked of him, far too many times, and Lan Wangji remembered the screams above and the laughter that followed them. So, the Dragon of Yiling did not suffer fools. All the better.

“Your name,” Lan Wangji said, because it was true enough, and was pleased to see the Dragon stumbled just a little, caught off guard.

“Oh?” He recovered quickly, but something like hope was starting to light in his eyes. In one graceful movement, he got his finger under Lan Wangji’s chin and lifted, just enough, baring his throat to that toothy, toothy smile. He did his best not to swallow too thickly, or fear the obvious danger. “And tell me, gorgeous prince, what would you do with my name?”

Lan Wangji looked at him through his lashes with the way his head was tilted, and hummed softly, unafraid. This was it, then, the moment he’d braved everything for, gave up everything for. “Mn. It’s bad form to ask someone for their hand without knowing their name,” he said, all eerie calm and watched the Dragon’s eyes widen in pure disbelief.

Then, that smile brightened, the sun reflecting on the moon, beautiful and soft and shining, all at once, and Lan Wangji felt his breath leave him in a rush, something a lot like awe lighting in his heart to that sudden warmth.

“So it is you,” the Dragon breathed, reverent and awed, and his hand dropped to take Lan Wangji’s fingers and kiss them. “I have waited a long time for you.”

He wished such words did not make his heart beat so hard, or his breath catch, but it did. He’d come for his brother, to be a Dragon’s mate and see him whenever he wanted, no barriers or restrictions, but all his planning started to unravel at such an earnest expression, full of gratitude and sweetness.

“My name is Wei Wuxian,” the Dragon of Yiling gave him, gladly, and Lan Wangji was definitely not breathing again as his palm was turned up and a kiss was softly bitten into his wrist, claiming him. “And I am honored to welcome you home.”

[kurowrites]

Letters From Beyond - Chapter 4: The Reply

AO3

---

How did one reply to a letter such as this?

Lan Wangji sat in front of an empty sheet of paper for far too long, and still he couldn’t think of a suitable reply. Hei was dozing now, apparently not in a hurry to return home after gorging himself on too many berries. Lan Wangji could take his time.

He considered the empty paper. What did Wei Wuxian want from him? What had he wanted to say by sending him a single line of text?

Wei Wuxian had answered every letter that Lan Wangji had written so far. Perhaps that was already answer enough.

He set the brush to the paper and started to write.

Wei Ying

I do not know how to reply to your letter, other than telling you that I do not wish to make you cry. It was the same then, too. I was angry, maybe am still angry now, though that is no excuse. I simply do not understand. I wish you would let me understand.

They call you a monster now. I have had the misfortune of hearing the stories they tell about you, how you eat children and hunt in the dark with glowing red eyes. But when I think back, instead of a monster I see you asking me to look at the ants in the courtyard because you thought they were cute. I do not understand. Your sister worries about you, and I wonder how you can subsist in a place like Burial Mounds. I wonder why you chose your own confinement instead of justice.

That was your wish, was it not. To be just and live without regrets. Are you without regrets now, Wei Ying? Have you chosen the right path for yourself? I have regretted not listening to you many times. Perhaps, if I had, your sister didn’t have to lament the absence of her brother on her wedding day. How can she believe you are still good when you are clearly guilty of the crime you are accused of? I do not understand.

Lan Wangji

He didn’t reread the letter, knowing full well that he wouldn’t sent it if he did. He folded it and placed it in front of Hei, so he could take it and choose to return home whenever he wanted. Then he cleaned his desk and went to take a bath.

He felt tense, harried. A bath might help to soothe his warring emotions.

---

The distance between Cloud Recesses and Burial Mounds was not inconsiderable even to a winged creature, and Lan Wangji couldn’t reasonably expect a reply before many days had passed. If Wei Ying was still willing to answer him, that was.

He knew he could do nothing but be patient, but despite his best efforts, he spent the next few days in a state of constant expectation, an impatience giving its way to irritation, making him more withdrawn than he already was.

Lan Xichen asked him if he was all right more than once. He only shook his head and assured his brother that he was, since he could hardly tell him that he was expecting a letter from the elusive Yiling Patriarch. He knew his brother wouldn’t judge him for telling him the truth, but he might want him to make the communication public. That, Lan Wangji could not allow.

He pondered over whether that constituted as a lie or not. But then, he had already broken another rule of his clan – do not associate with evil.

At the same time, Jiang Yanli’s words still reverberated in his ears.

Whatever he did, there is no doubt in my mind that he is a good man.

Could it be true? Or was it simply the denial of someone who wanted to protect themselves from the truth?

If this was about Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji would say the same thing without hesitation. He knew that his brother was a good man, that he would never draw his sword without reason. But Lan Wangji didn’t know the relationship between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, and he hadn’t known Wei Wuxian for long enough to truly know the depths of his character. He did not know if malice and falsehood hid behind the silly mask Wei Wuxian usually wore. He had no way of gauging that now.

He continued to debate the issue internally, until finally, Hei returned.

Lan Wangji found him hanging upside down from one of the tassels that held up the bamboo lattices in front of the windows of the Jingshi, amusing himself by gripping the cords with his feet and swaying back and forth.

“That is not a toy,” he chastised Hei. “I will give you some berries.”

Hei crowed in eager agreement, dropped from the tassel, and fluttered over to land on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. For such a large creature, he was surprisingly light, not at all what Lan Wangji had expected.

He went to fetch the berries he now always kept ready for Hei, and set them in a place he could easily clean up after Hei was done eating, careful to keep him far away from any more books he could destroy with a beak full of berry juice.

Once Hei was fed, he went to his desk. To his surprise, Hei hadn’t delivered just one letter this time. There were two.

He picked up the one that looked familiar to him now, the way it was folded saying “Wei Wuxian” more surely than any actual writing. It was, again, disappointingly short.

Lan Zhan

You say you do not wish to make me cry, and yet I must believe that you do. Telling me these things. That you of all people speak of regret, it pains me. I cannot regret what I have done. I still believe I made the right choice, and have chosen the right path. I have no proof, and so I hope that you believe me when I say that. Just… don’t blame yourself, please, Lan Zhan. This is my burden to carry. I shouldn’t keep writing to you, I know it puts you in a difficult position, but I cannot help it. I was serious when I asked you to be my friend, even though that can never happen now. I am so sorry. I knew when I saw you the first time that you were a special person, and I could not resist wanting to know you. If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Wei Ying

Lan Zhan stared at the letter in shock. His heart was beating fast, blood rushing in his ears. What a letter this was!

He read the last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

He put the letter down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply for long moments, trying to compose himself.

Me too, he thought to himself. If I had never met you, I would be without regrets, as well.

He fought for composure and reached for the second letter once he felt reasonably calm.

It was much longer than the first one, and as soon as he opened it, he could see that it was written by a different hand. It was also written in an entirely different style. It was properly addressed to him, as well, and contained the appropriate greetings and civilities at the beginning. The writer of this letter clearly wasn’t Wei Wuxian. It was Wen Qing.

He skipped over the general civilities and moved on to the main body of the letter:

Forgive me for being so frank, but I cannot stay silent any longer. Every time a letter arrives from you, Wei Wuxian is distraught, and it is worrying us to see him like this. He smiles and he acts like it is nothing, but I have never seen him as discomposed as when it comes to you.

My word may not be worth much in the eyes of the cultivation world, but I know that he will not tell you unless I do it first. Let me give you a true account of what happened that fateful night.

As you no doubt already concluded, I was sent as a spy to Cloud Recesses by Wen Ruohan himself, tasked with helping Wen Chao find one of the pieces of the Yin Iron. We knew it was in your possession, but were unable to retrieve it. I had my reasons for complying with Wen Ruohan’s orders, and I will make no apology for my deception.

At this point, we all believed that no one else was aware of the existence of the Yin Iron, and though we were pressed to retrieve it quickly, we weren’t much worried about anything else. That proved to be a major mistake. I do not know how he learned about our plans or where the Yin Iron was, but Jin Guangshan gained knowledge of it somehow. Since we were already suspicious and, compared to Wen Chao, relatively unimportant, he must have thought my brother and I convenient scapegoats. We were asleep when he snuck into our dorm that night, overpowered us, tied us up, and abducted us. He was smart about it, too. He knew how much my brother means to me, and he made use of that.

I don’t know the exact details of his plan, but I’m sure he wanted to make it look like the Wen sect stole the Yin Iron, and then planned to get rid of us once we had fulfilled our roles. Perhaps he was truly afraid that the Yin Iron would fall into Wen Ruohan’s hands. Perhaps he was simply greedy for his own share of power. Whatever it was, he showed no hesitation in stepping over a few dead bodies in order to get what he wanted.

He nearly killed my brother when I tried to disobey him, and he might have succeeded if it wasn’t for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is a magnet for trouble, but it saved our lives that night. He had snuck out of his own dorm that night, to plunder the kitchen or sneak wine into Cloud Recesses or whatever foolish thing he tends to do when left to his own devices. He managed to find us just in the nick of time. He is an honourable man, and did not hesitate in defending us. He stood between Wen Ning and Jin Guangshan without fear or hesistation. Jin Guangshan told him that if he was decided on defending the scum of the Wen clan, he should die with them too. He was the one who drew his sword on Wei Wuxian. I am sure Wei Wuxian didn’t want to kill him, but he also refused to let us die. You know how the fight ended.

As Jin Guangshan finally lay dead, we panicked. Perhaps we should have woken you up, and relate the circumstances to you, but it all happened so fast, we had no proof that Jin Guangshan had been the perpetrator, and we were scared. I was a spy, after all. So we ran away, taking the Yin Iron with us because we were afraid it would fall into the wrong hands.

The Yin Iron is still with us. Rest assured that I would never hand it over to Wen Ruohan now. Wei Wuxian uses the Iron to keep us safe, but the effect on him is becoming more and more visible each day. He is not doing well. I worry how long he can keep doing this, before he destroys himself completely. He says he does it to keep us safe – me, my brother and the remaining members of my clan that have made it to Burial Mounds – so it is no burden to him. He is lying, however. He knows he is slowly destroying himself, and I know that he is trying to figure out how to make sure we stay protected once he dies.

I cannot go against him and protect him from himself. But maybe you can. That is why I thought you should know the truth.

Lan Wangji put the letter down. He noticed that his hands were shaking, but he couldn’t stop it. His heart clenched, and bile rose in his throat.

If only Wei Wuxian had called for him. If only– If only–

He reached for Wei Wuxian’s letter again, and read it once more.

I have no proof, it read. And then, that last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Tears rose in his eyes, and for once, he didn’t try to stop them from falling.

To lament for a person he barely knew.

He looked at the letter again.

No, he thought. No, you will not.

[poor-wifi-uwu]

Veil ch4

Worlds apart. Days apart. Inches apart. They finally meet.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22680382/chapters/54916576

The night was quiet, filled with only the gentle rustling of the trees and soothing sound of running water as he walked along a river in a mockery of a relaxing stroll.

3 hours.

It took 3 fucking hours to get out of Yunmeng’s capital. With a horse and properly cleared street it should have only taken him what, 20 minutes at full speed? He should’ve reached the next large town by now!

Instead, here he is, walking along a river next to the road hoping to catch a glimpse of even a small village in the distance.

It was common knowledge not to travel alone at night in the wilderness, but he has literally no other option. It won’t take long for his family to learn of his escape and they’ll send their fastest riders after him as soon as they realize. Running so close to the main road is not the best way to avoid notice, but no matter what, his highest priority was to put as much distance between himself and Lotus Pier as possible.

The fastest way to Gusu is using the main road built in the past for easy trade between their nations. The road had been built for speed with a smooth road to protect delicate cargo on along the journey, and being so profitable both nations had gone out of their way to construct through natural obstacles. Yunmeng is known for its many rivers and lakes, and as a pretty much straight line the road has many bridges built to avoid unnecessary detours. One of the lakes is so huge that it would require a boat or add days to a journey to get around. He’ll have to cross that bridge.

For ease of travel, the road was built along a major river running through Yunmeng, only breaking off to keep its straight trajectory when faced with a bend in the river. The river bank was fairly hidden and free of obstacles that stumble one’s footing, especially for a Lotus Pier child, so it was a good way for Wei Wuxian to avoid a lot of eyes.

Thankfully, with his speed and endurance Wei Wuxian was able to reach quite a distance by the time dawn broke. His body could keep going if it really had to, but after running all night it wouldn’t do him any good to strain himself now and leave him vulnerable later on. Although he’d finally passed a couple of villages along the way, they were either small and difficult to hide in or were trading posts littered with guards. It was best to just get as far as he could and find some hidden alcove to rest.

God, it’s like he’s a fugitive in his own country.

It wasn’t that difficult to find a spot to sleep in. The thing about using unconventional tactics when you are vastly outnumbered is you gain a very deep understanding of terrain. He’s had to hide entire battalions within shouting distance while close enough to see the enemy camp. This was a cake walk.

Wei Wuxian had a very fitful sleep. Despite his confidence in his camouflage skill, the best riders Yunmeng has to offer were all trained by him, so he knew their ability to hunt. Every snapping twig, gust of wind, footstep on the road snapped him to attention. He couldn’t count the time he actually spent asleep, and he didn’t want to. At least Wei Wuxian got to rest his body after that little marathon last night. 

He continued to rest until evening when most sentries would begin returning to their posts with the dimming light. He would’ve gone earlier but with the declaration of winter coming so early many unaware people were still rushing to complete their business before the weather would no longer permit it, leaving the road packed with possible witnesses.

Wei Wuxian hadn’t seen any royal troops yet, likely thanks to his circle’s stalling. He doesn’t know how long they can keep it up, but he’s grateful for whatever buffer they can buy him. In a way, the Jiangs’ total lockdown of the city actually bought him time since Wen Qing has a pretty good justification for why there’s no way he left the palace. The compasses he left with Suibian must also be throwing his siblings off. One of the ways they would always check if he snuck out to goof off is by walking around the outer edge of Lotud Pier. If the red tip kept pointing at Lotus Pier, then he was home since he never went anywhere without his compass set. He suspected that Madam Yu would be the one to figure it out, and it’s not like his siblings would defend that he must be on Lotus Pier considering their reactions to his decision.

Wei Wuxian checked that the compasses faced the proper directions before setting off on another marathon run.

The marathon run was a bad idea.

While yes, he did need to make that distance, and yes, he is trained to get the most out of his legs, it doesn’t negate the fact that running for 8 hours straight two nights in a row without proper sleep would lead to a bone-deep exhaustion that had Wei Wuxian’s eyes slipping closed. He’ll have to take it easy from now on.

Finding a good hiding spot, Wei Wuxian flopped down with a stifled groan. God his legs were really starting to feel that burn. Wei Wuxian ruffled through his pack for his medicine bag, before remembering he didn’t pack one. There was no way Wen Qing would let him go anywhere without one, but Wei Wuxian also didn’t remember seeing anyone else place it in. He kept rummaging, his curiosity overpowering the searing pain running through his thighs. When he finally found it with a small cheer, Wei Wuxian froze before slumping against the tree trunk with a wobbly smile.

Wen Qing takes her medicine seriously. Very, very, very seriously. Although she was a special breed of hardass, her family took no less pride in their work. Each member of Wen Qing’s branch clan would receive a special embroidered sachet to carry their medicine within. It was unique to their family and each person only got one. Wei Wuxian held the bag against his heart.

This one had his name on it.

Wei Wuxian looked up at the rising sun. It’s golden radiance shined brilliantly over the forest, revealing the canopy of trees as if laying a blanket of light. The pouch seemed to radiate heat as it warmed his heart where they touched. Wei Wuxian took a deep breath as his shoulders relaxing, willing himself to stay awake through his newfound comfort.

A raindrop hit his nose.

Wei Wuxian looked up again and saw clouds quickly overrunning the sun, the once bright morning overcast beneath heavy clouds. He looked dully where the sun used to shine for a few more moments before calmly crawling inside the tree trunk.

He had medicine to put on.

Lan Wangji looked outside his window as a harsh gust of wind rocked the shutters of his hotel room. The white skies of a Gusu autumn have begun growing dark with the promise of a coming storm. 

The emperor hoped the pavilion’s foundation would be finished in time.

It had been a new feeling, speeding through the nation with his face on full display with no one recognizing him. Although still dressed with the regal travel robes of the Cloud Recesses, his presence did not bring the populace to their knees in silent awe as his headdress would have. It felt strange to be somewhat invisible, like he was seeing a new side of the world that would normally be on its best behavior before him. 

In some ways it was… liberating.

The emperor hoped he could lower Wei Ying’s guard the same way.

Lan Wangji had ridden almost nonstop from the moment he left the Cloud Recesses until it grew too dark to continue safely. He had reached quite a distance, though not far enough to be satisfied. Having calculated the quickest path to Gusu on horseback before he left, Lan Wangji’s fingers drummed a tune on the table as he drank his tea. Although Wei Ying must be a day ahead already, the main bridge connecting Gusu and Yunmeng across the natural river barrier was closer to the Cloud Recesses than it was Lotus Pier. At full speed, he should reach the bridge the same time as Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji wanted nothing more than to hold Wei Ying’s hand as he guided him to his new home.

Knowing his empress was still days away left the emperor restless, fidgeting with his luggage and checking on his horse frequently. In the end he could only practice a few songs on his guqin to calm down. With his hands over the sachet causing a warmth to grow in his chest, Lan Wangji finally got some rest.

He woke to the sound of droplets thundering against his window like a barrage of arrows. Lan Wangji cracked open the shutters only for a burst of hail to rain through into his bedroom, the wind attempting to force the shutters all the way open. He checked with the nightstaff only to learn the storm had started only recently and does not seem to be stopping anytime soon.

It would be foolish to travel in this weather.

Lan Wangji grit his teeth as he ignored the breakfast before him. Given the circumstances, Wei Ying would have to take the river bridge to cross over into Gusu. No matter how wide it was made to accommodate the trading caravans, it is still a narrow straight line with no blind spots. It is the only point at which he is guaranteed to meet Wei Ying without missing each other. But that is only if he gets there before Wei Ying does.

Lan Wangji rubbed the sachet in his sleeve in silence for several minutes. Biting his lip, Lan Wangji narrowed his eyes. 

Wei Ying would keep riding.

Lan Wangji grabbed his bags.

The only thing worse than riding in the rain was running in the rain. 

At least when Wei Wuxian rode his horse through the rain it wasn’t his legs that kept sinking into the mud. He could look past the splotches staining his robes and the dirty water seeping into his shoes, but to lose his already poor footing is asking too much. 

Wei Wuxian had only rested for a few hours before setting off again. Although it was only the afternoon, no reasonable sentry would be out in this downpour and even the unreasonable ones wouldn’t be able to see anything. It’s a good chance to make some headway.

Qing-jie’s medicine worked wonders as always, Wei Wuxian toasted his water-logged bag to the doc. His legs had gone from a searing pain to an aching throb that is no less uncomfortable but much more manageable. Of course, she would kill him for straining his still-healing body, but in Wei Wuxian’s defense she would beat him up much harder if she saw his current state should he get caught. 

When he thought about it that way, running through the mud in the middle of a storm didn’t seem so bad anymore. Well, his clothes are ruined but he can always say he was locked in a vicious battle with mud-slinging cobras. It’s technically true, though the bureaucrats of Lotus Pier might take offence.

Wei Wuxian just hoped the emperor wouldn’t be too put off should he not reach an inn in time to clean up.

Wei Wuxian slowed to a walk to catch his breath. It was pointless to keep running. With his footing so unstable and the rain weighing his clothes down, no matter how much Wei Wuxian pushed forward he wouldn’t make that much of a difference running than walking. It was fine in the beginning, but with the rain growing into one of the infamous pre-winter storms of Yunmeng it became a pointless endeavor.

Yunmeng’s storms can easily last over a week, so there’s no chance Wei Ying would try to wait it out even without the warrant that is surely out for his capture. He’ll just have to get used to it.

At least the tree canopy helped block some of the downpour.

The Nie were truly exceptional when it came to animals.

Lan Wangji gave his horse some carrots as he dried off its mane. Despite the uncomfortable and difficult weather conditions his steed had faithfully ran the full day at top speed without complaint.

A gift from the Nie king, this horse was specially bred to match Wei Wuxian’s infamous steed, but lacking the difficult temperament of that manic beast. It was the only horse able to match Wei Wuxian’s wild stallion on the battlefield. Although large and dressed with the most regal gear, without its armour it looks like any other Gusu white stallion.

Patting the horse’s side, Lan Wangji’s ears turned red.

In one of the famous love stories of the Gusu Empire, the first emperor Lan An had broken courtesy to ride his horse into the wedding hall with his bride in his arms. Despite the disapproval against their union, Lan An refused to wait even a second longer and rammed past all the defenses to do the three bows with his beloved. 

Although his uncle had told the story as an example of the Lan clan’s susceptibility to irrational emotions, it had always been one of Lan Wangji’s favorite stories.

The horse shook its head, bumping into Lan Wangji. Blinking at it, the horse looked at his ears and snorted at him.

Ah, right, brother helped train this horse.

Lan Wangji quickly refilled the carrots and speed-walked back to his room, the horse’s whinny following after him.

Although Lan Wangji was soaked through, he put off changing his clothes until after he could assess any possible damage to his luggage. The emperor had carefully packed all of his betrothal gifts to account for different weather, even choosing fabric coated with wax to wrap the articles. Carefully laying each one on the ground, Lan Wangji was relieved to find no issues. Even the scroll he had packed was safe within its bamboo tube.

Lan Wangji gently stroked a platinum hair crown. With the phoenix's nine tail feathers forming a lotus in full bloom and studded with brilliant red and blue gemstones, the small headpiece was the picture of refined elegance that would inspire awe in the wearer’s status from whoever glanced at them. It had been difficult to make it worthy of Wei Ying while keeping it practical for his empress’s daily antics, but there would be no point in giving him something he can’t wear. Lan Wangji’s finger lingered on a red gem.

He hoped Wei Ying would like it.

You see, there’s a reason you shouldn’t walk in the rain for hours on end.

Sometimes you feel like shit afterwards.

Wei Wuxian blinked through the blurriness in his vision. The cold had seeped into his very bones, every step growing heavier as he makes his way to the closest village. There’s no point in hiding out in the forest if he’s just going to die and the engagement falls through.

With his legs numb, the throbbing ache had moved to pound behind his eyes as Wei Wuxian clutched his head. He could feel his throat growing itchy as his nose stuffed up. If he doesn’t get somewhere warm soon then he might get sick for real. Not the most attractive thing to sneeze into the bride and groom’s shared wine cup.

After what felt like ages Wei Wuxian finally reached the village entrance. Though small, it thankfully served as a pit stop for travellers and therefore had some inns available. Wei Wuxian picked a small but cozy building, not so cheap as to be shady but also below what the guards would assume he would stay in. It was a family-run establishment with the husband handling the business while the wife catered to the guests. They were kind people who didn’t judge Wei Wuxian’s ability to pay by his frankly homeless appearance. The husband had laughed that they had seen many of their competitors lose business by kicking ragged men and women out of their rooms to make space for high-end clients, only to learn they were actually some rich or important person who got caught up in the war or got attacked by bandits. 

Wei Wuxian laughed as well, shaking his head at those people who would never learn. When the wife left to fetch some bathwater, Wei Wuxian’s smile dropped. If that many ‘important’ people got caught on the road, how many regular people’s suffering went unnoticed?

He thanked the wife for the hot water and prepared to finally get a hot soak, his cloak dropping with a chime.

Wei Wuxian paused.

He rubbed his forehead as if trying to remember something as he walked to his bag. Stopping down to rummage through it, Wei Wuxian grabbed the bag and lept out the window, the sound of shocked gasps behind him as a number of footsteps scrambled to follow after him.

Wei Wuxian never kept his charity bell on his cloak.

Shouts of ‘General!’ sounded out behind him as the royal guard begged him to stop and return to Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian drowned them out as he assessed his situation. There were only five of them even after all this shouting. Wei Wuxian flinched when they sent out the signal flare, but even minutes later no one came. They must have divided amongst the villages along the main road in hopes of catching sight of him. The villages might be quite the distance by foot, but that distance is nothing by horse.

They’ll be here sooner than later.

Wei Wuxian cursed as he ran through his options before a smirk crawled onto his face. Whipping out Suibian’s compass, Wei Wuxian calculated the direction of Lotus Pier and ran the guards around in circles, dodging any ambush when he noticed less than five people chasing after him. With their attention locked on him, they never realized Wei Wuxian kept inching closer to the horses tied near the end of the village.

With a burst of speed once he grew near, Wei Wuxian slashed at the ropes tying the horse to the post, smirking as the guards’ eyes widened and faces paled as they realized what they had unintentionally done. Laughing, Wei Wuxian sped past before they could recover and disappeared down the road.

One of the most unintuitive vices in combat is the idea of being overcautious. Everyone in Yunmeng knows not to underestimate Wei Wuxian. Every time someone has, they have lost if not died, so it is no surprise that the guards would take every precaution to ensure Wei Wuxian doesn’t notice them surrounding him. But when people get so caught up in one aspect of a plan they forget about other details, such as where to leave their horses. In this case, they were afraid he would get spooked by the sound of horses and therefore left them where they entered the village to search for him on foot. While good in theory, this also leaves those horses in a predictable position. That is, in the direction of Lotus Pier.

This also proves they’re not one of his men, who know better not only through Wei Wuxian’s rigorous training but also his habits. And judging by the lack of hoofs behind him, they’re not as well-trained for the weather either.

Wei Wuxian laughed as he patted the horse through his throbbing headache. 

Fucking finally.

The wind stabbed a chill deep into his bones yet he felt hot.

Lan Wangji tried to convince himself the pounding of his heart was due to his intense journey and not the distance slowly closing between him and Wei Ying. 

One day.

He was just one day’s journey from the bridge. 

A few more hours and he would make it in time to catch Wei Ying before he journeyed across alone.

Lan Wangji bit his lip as he shook his head, eyes focusing on the road ahead. It was dangerous to get distracted in such weather. Although the hail had reverted to rain this far south, the weather was no less terrible. The canopy of tree tops covering the path couldn’t prevent all the rain from passing through and the wind was not helping.

The last thing he wanted was to lose it all when he was so close.

The road was easy to navigate. No matter how far he went the road remained empty, the more sensible people having opted to stay inside. No caravans or adventurers, not even a patrol. Nothing but the sounds of the hoofs beneath him, the rain around him, and the thumping within him. 

It was a bit lonely. As if he was the only one in the world.

It never felt like this when he was alone with Wei Ying. Silent but for their quiet breaths, still but for the slight glance or small fidget. Even their stake-outs against one another had felt more intimate than empty.

He wondered if Wei Ying was just as lonely on his own journey right now.

Lan Wangji rode silently for the rest of the journey.

Sliding off his horse, Lan Wangji could almost feel his legs trembling as the guard confirmed that General Wei Wuxian had not been sighted on the bridge yet. He made it in time.

As the adrenaline faded, Lan Wangji could feel the slosh of his boots, the weight of his cloak, the drops sliding down his face. The emperor tensed imperceptibly, fishing out a small mirror to be faced with a frankly unacceptable appearance. Hair clinging to his face from where it escaped his topknot, robes clinging to his skin, specks of mud splattered across the bottom hem of his robes, face both flushed and pale.

The emperor had never looked less than pristine even in the throes of battle. He can’t let Wei Ying see him in such a state.

Giving orders to the guard to contact him at any sighting, Lan Wangji sped off to a hotel to clean up, ignoring his horse’s mocking whinny.

It was already evening by the time Lan Wangji arrived at the bridge, yet he could not help but stand under the roof of the entrance to be the first to see Wei Ying. He smoothed his robes for the fourth time within the hour. In a new set of clothes and with his previous ones washed, dried, and packed within his luggage, Lan Wangji looked as if he had just stepped out of the Cloud Recesses.

He wondered what Wei Ying looked like.

Wei Ying had always dressed casually when he could, but this was a special occasion that he took very seriously. And with his flair for dramatics, Wei Ying might have even travelled in wedding robes the entire time. 

Lan Wangji’s ears burned as he imagined it.

Well, Wei Ying always dressed in black and red with a gold-ornamented sword, so technically… Though Lan Wangji would never make him settle for wedding robes of that caliber. Not that Wei Ying’s clothes are low quality, of course. Wei Ying always looks nice. His clothes have a certain wordly charm to them. Not that they are not charming over all of course—.

He might need to practice speaking before they meet.

A call from the guard has the emperor’s head snapping up to the bridge, only to slump in disappointment.

White and blue. The Gusu royal guard.

When the leader caught sight of him, he shouted out orders behind him before charging ahead to reach Lan Wangji. Jumping off his horse, the captain bowed in salute, “Master.”

Lan Wangji’s eyes softened as he waved his hand to rise, “Bichen.”

Bichen got up from his bow to tilt his head at Lan Wangji, confusion clear on his face before morphing into worry. Lan Wangji never leaves the palace alone, especially without the proper dress of his status. Something must have happened.

Lan Wangji’s ears burned as he gave a small but rigid shake of his head. As Bichen’s confusion grew, Lan Wangji’s ears only burned more red. With no one else around, Lan Wangji looked down, “I came to escort Wei Ying.”

Bichen’s face exploded with a blush. For the emperor to come personally…

Then he blinked, coughing to cover his slip-up, “He accepted then?”

Lan Wangji gave a small sharp nod.

Bichen kept a composed face as he congratulated his master, but he could feel happiness bubbling in his chest. His master wanted this for so long…

“Did you speak to him?”

Bichen snapped to attention, “I delivered the letter, but nothing more.”

Lan Wangji looked at him for a moment, “Not Wei Ying.”

Bichen’s eyes widened in realization as he fidgeted with his fingers inside his clasped sleeves, “...No. He was not in the room with General Wei so I handed the letter over to Wen Qionglin before leaving. Though he and Doctor Wen ran in the direction of the meeting room, so I do not know if they forgot about it.”

Lan Wangji looked at him, “Wei Ying’s people are never negligent. The letter reached him.”

Bichen blinked and smiled.

“Why not speak to him?”

Bichen’s smile froze. He fidgeted in place, looking this way and that, “We’re still enemies at war, I did not wish to overstay my welcome. And I did not know what he was doing, so there’s no reason to interrupt him, especially if he’s still injured. What if I woke him up?” Bichen’s cheeks puffed out as he muttered, “Hmph, he would probably be sleeping even if he wasn’t injured.”

Lan Wangji looked on with raised eyebrows, understanding his brother a bit more, “I can make a formal appointment.”

Bichen choked as he began frantically denying it, horrified that his small little wish could blow up into an international incident. Lan Wangji looked on amused as Bichen gave every excuse he could come up with about why he shouldn’t speak with Suibian after all. Finally Bichen huffed as he crossed his arms and looked away, “And who needs to talk to a guy like that? Only nonsense would come out of his mouth anyway!”

Lan Wangji just nodded in acquiescence as the light flush across Bichen’s cheeks darkened. Deciding to let Bichen save some face, Lan Wangji had him explain the rest of his journey.

As Bichen gave his report, Lan Wangji felt something was off.

Although Bichen did leave earlier than Wei Ying, the General’s horse was faster even at a jogging pace. There would be no reason for Wei Ying to hide from the royal guard either, so if they didn’t come together it could only mean Wei Ying passed them and went ahead. 

So why has no one seen him yet?

On top of that, Yunmeng had suddenly declared Winter. Even Gusu had just barely declared Winter all the way up north. It was even more strange that Lotus Pier went as far as to spread the news with the royal courier falcons instead of riders. Yunmeng had always taken full advantage of their southern position to extend the travel seasons, so why the sudden rush?

The butterflies in his stomach seemed to drop as a cold heaviness settled in his chest. Bichen seemed to notice, stopping his report to await the emperor’s orders. 

Lan Wangji took a deep breath. Wei Ying’s strange letter suddenly made sense. It was not the Jiang family who accepted the letter, it was Wei Ying himself against their wishes. They must be trying to stop him for some reason.

Bichen was shocked as Lan Wangji explained. The Gusu royal guard had not faced any trouble along their journey in either direction despite their gear being fairly obvious about where they are from. They were riding through some of Wei Wuxian’s ‘territory’ but surely such a serious reaction would have affected them.

Lan Wangji placed his hands in his sleeves, shoulders back in the regal pose of the emperor bestowing orders, “Return to the Cloud Recesses. Brother must know the situation. Tell no one else. I will go ahead.”

Bichen’s jaw dropped dumbfounded. The emperor, charging into hostile territory and leaving his Sentinel behind? It was Bichen’s job to go with him, always!

Lan Wangji wouldn’t budge and gave his orders a second time, making Bichen salute in shocked acceptance. The emperor makes a point not to repeat orders. He’s serious.

Lan Wangji was going to explain, but stopped as he squinted his eyes into the distance. He felt his fingers numb.

It was a purple lotus signal flare.

Whatever it was, Lan Wangji had to hurry.

In any other situation, reaching the eye of the storm so quickly would be a blessing.

Wei Wuxian cursed as he willed his horse to stay quiet when the rush of hooves flew past. Of all the times he could have used the natural camouflage of rain, it had to let up when he was surrounded. Any way he tries to break through now, he’ll inevitably be seen and chased. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but his vision had already been blurring with exhaustion the day before and he had ridden through the night without any sleep. Wei Wuxian even had to leave his cloak behind, so he had spent the coldest hours of night with barely any protection from the storm.

He can already feel a fever forming.

Wei Wuxian shook his head to stop the forest from spinning and placed all his focus into his surroundings. They had been in this stalemate for a few hours now, knowing Wei Wuxian is here but the general maneuvering just so to stay hidden. Each side waiting for the other to leave an opening.

If only he could see who the riders were, he could exploit their weaknesses.

Wei Wuxian flinched as the riders suddenly doubled, his heart rate skyrocketing before he took some deep breaths and pinched himself. His blurred vision slowly returned to focus. His horse gave a small whinny at the movement and it was as if the world froze as everything went silent.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened as he sprung into action, charging through the closest gap he could find. He could distantly hear a flare being sent up. 

Shit.

That black stallion of his may be a giant pain in the ass sometimes, but at least he knew when to handle himself. 

Wei Wuxian never thought he’d feel so helpless because of a fucking horse.

Arrows flew past his arms as the group of Yunmeng troops charged after him.

Arrows, really?! And they keep missing too, do these bastards want to triple their regimen to show him such a disgrace?!

Wei Wuxian bit his tongue from shouting out advice as he wove through the barrage on his horse. This is not a time where he should want their archery to improve.

A stray arrow finally nicked his arm and an instant numbing sensation followed. Wei Wuxian cursed. Paralyzing arrows?! He knew Wen Qing would not make them a new batch of paralyzer to coat them so where did these bastards get them?!

Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes. Don’t tell me… Did some fucker secretly keep a batch of arrows and claim they ran out. Wei Wuxian barked a sardonic laugh. With all the factions he wouldn’t doubt it.

Well, at least their aim makes a tiny bit more sense now. They don’t want to actually hit him, just nick him enough times to catch him. Though falling off a horse at full speed isn’t exactly the safest option.

With one arm quickly losing function, Wei Wuxian had to think fast. He took a sudden dive into the forest. Wen Qing packed him all sorts of medicine, so if Wei Wuxian could just lose them for an hour he should be able to get his arm back.

Lan Wangji followed the direction of the signal flare, gritting his teeth at their slow advance despite going faster than they had through the entire journey.

Nothing good can come out of a Lotus Flare in this situation. Most flares across the continent were mainly used to either signal a location or call for help. Either way, they must have found Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s hands tightened around the reins until his knuckles had turned completely white. He saw that first signal flare hours ago. They could be in a completely different direction by now but all the emperor could do was charge blindly forward like a buffoon.

Why didn’t he think more carefully about the proposal and the acceptance letter? Why did he wait an entire day to set off, and another day at the bridge?

Lan Wangji was so caught up in his childish euphoria that he forgot how Lotus Pier tends to disagree with Wei Ying almost on principle.

He was such a coward.

Had he not feared being rejected and scheduled a formal meeting with the royal family, they could have resolved all of this directly. Instead he just sent a letter, a small part of himself resembling a young Lan Wangji fearing the truth and ready to wave the rejection off as coming from the Jiangs instead of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji bit his lip as he glared forward.

He was so close.

A boom off in the distance made him flinch as Lan Wangji looked up to see a much closer Lotus Flare. Memorizing the location, Lan Wangji charged forward.

They were persistent.

Wei Wuxian had been weaving through the forest and back onto the main road repeatedly, trying to lose the guards in the prison of the forest. But no matter which direction he went or how dark it got, they dogged after him. It was incredibly difficult to navigate a forest on horseback, the wide array of possible obstacles ready to shred the horse and its rider without the most careful maneuvering. A couple of the guards were lost on the way, but the majority were frustratingly competent. 

The entire time they had been calling for him to stop and return home. That more than anything was wearing him down.

Didn’t they understand that he wanted to go home?!

Wei Wuxian grit his teeth as he reached a clearing with a hill. If he could break their eye contact on his back for just a second, he could disappear. Gritting his teeth, Wei Wuxian tightened his grip on the reins as he heard his horse whinny.

Suddenly he felt himself falling.

Wei Wuxian’s horse tumbled forward in a heap with Wei Wuxian being thrown forward out of the harness. By reflex he angled his body in such a way to roughly roll forward without breaking anything, the final smack of his back against the hard ground gouging the air from his lungs. Wei Wuxian coughed as black spots entered his vision. Head lolling, he could barely make out through his fluctuating vision the glare of an arrow sticking out of his horse’s chest.

Wei Wuxian struggled to get up before he even registered what he was doing.

The Yunmeng troops were all behind him and none of them would shoot the horse during friendly fire. Someone else was here.

Pain shot through Wei Wuxian’s leg as he tried to get up, his forgotten numb arm slipping and sending Wei Wuxian’s face into the mud.

He can barely move.

He’s been in worse situations before.

With the desperate burst of energy that is found only in the face of death, Wei Wuxian crawled to the nearest tree trunk for cover. His body screamed with every movement, Wei Wuxian biting the fabric of his numb hand to keep from screaming out. No matter how good their night vision is, with Wei Wuxian’s dirt-crusted black clothes he’s practically invisible in the night. His horse, not so much.

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes as it let out a final whimper before going silent.

In the sudden quiet, Wei Wuxian realized the Yunmeng troops should have caught up to him by now.

In the eye of the storm, the moonlight peaked through the clouds to illuminate the clearing. Wei Wuxian felt his eyes dull.

The arrow had purple feathers.

They wouldn’t.

Wei Wuxian didn’t even realize he, too, had been revealed by the light. His dull gaze struggled to raise with the sound of light footsteps coming closer. Seeing the purple uniform, Wei Wuxian felt himself go numb.

The masked assailant leapt forward, sword stretched out towards Wei Wuxian’s chest as he threw his body to the side. The sword impaled itself into the tree trunk, buying Wei Ying a precious few seconds to jam his searing arm into his bag to grab a bomb, a knife, a shoe, ANYTHING!

The shadow of a blade over him had Wei Wuxian turning around with the bag held out ready to catch the blow, only to hear a grunt as two bodies hit the ground. Looking over, Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened as another Yunmeng guard had pinned the first and with a slice at his neck with an arrow knocked the guy out.

Wei Wuxian panted as the new Yunmeng troop took off his mask and Wei Wuxian felt his lips tremble into a smile, “...Third Shidi…!”

The guard sent him a V for victory with his hand as he finished tying the assailant up and ran over, “General!”

Wei Wuxian struggled to sit up on his elbow, “How did you—” Wei Wuxian noticed the quiver of Paralyzing arrows and his jaw dropped indignantly, “That was you?!”

Third Shidi scratched the back of his head sheepishly. Wei Wuxian felt his blood boil a bit, “To think you’d shoot your own commander! And you couldn’t even shoot properly, what was that crap?! You want a triple training regimen? Quadruple?!”

The color quickly draining from Third Shidi’s face satisfied his bloodlust a little. The stockier man held his hands up in surrender, “Yes, our training has fallen completely off the rails since General’s disappearance! Our aim has become downright horrible!” He sent Wei Wuxian a wink.

Wei Wuxian huffed a breath in understanding. So his loyals had snuck into the sentries to let him escape should they catch him. But then…

Wei Wuxian’s face fell as he looked at the tied up Yunmeng troop. Third Shidi followed and his once warm and friendly gaze hardened into ice, “Don’t know what the fuck was up with that. Motherfuckers had the nerve…!”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes narrowed sharply, “There were more?”

Third Shidi nodded, “They ambushed us with a gas bomb when General ran for the clearing. The normal troops were knocked out but the enemy didn’t factor the Wei faction’s training into the strength of it. The others stayed behind to fight off the rest of the group while I ran ahead since I was the only one not locked in a battle.”

Wei Wuxian sighed in relief. His men could handle the best of them on the worst of days. They’ll be fine. Wei Wuxian grunted as Third Shidi helped him stand up, “How likely that they’re imposters?”

Third Shidi steadied him against the tree trunk, “Most of the factions aren’t this stupid. Some are. It’s hard to say, but I checked and that’s a genuine Yunmeng uniform so if they are imposters then that raises a lot of questions.”

Wei Wuxian groaned, freezing at the echo. His eyes darted left and right. Third Shidi tensed imperceptibly as he noticed. Holding his hands out as if continuing to steady Wei Wuxian he raised his eyebrow in question. Wei Wuxian pursed his lips and drummed his fingers on Third Shidi’s arm in code.

It’s too quiet.

Third Shidi’s eyes widened as he noticed the unsettling silence. The fight had ended and there was no hostility between them, yet the forest was as silent as the dead.

Third Shidi inched his hand toward his sword as Wei Wuxian clutched his bag.

Wei Wuxian swept Third Shidi’s feet with a kick that sent them both down as an arrow thumped into the trunk where their heads had been. With a fluid turn, Third Shidi smoothly unsheathed his sword intime to deflect another arrow as Wei Wuxian crashed to the ground. Third Shidi spun to check on him, leaving his back open for the split second necessary for the enemy to jump out of the shadows and lunge forward as one. 

Wei Wuxian grabbed the first thing in his bag and yelled, “Flash!”

They both closed their eyes as Wei Wuxian threw out the flash bomb, blinding the enemy into crashing into one another. Third Shidi used those few seconds to knock three of them unconscious with a shocked horror on his face. Wei Wuxian must have looked the same. There’s no way it would be taking this long for his men to beat a group that small, and if anything there's even more enemies than before.

Wei Wuxian quickly glared as he barked at Third Shidi, “You can’t get information if you’re dead, at this point their lives are forfeit!”

Third Shidi lunged with a roar, “YES SIR!”

Wei Wuxian noticed some attackers sneaking up behind Third Shidi and threw a chili bomb at their heads, the screams of agony as they scratched at their eyes making Third Shidi spin around to quickly end the group in three fatal strikes before returning to his previous opponents. Wei Wuxian wobbled onto his feet through pure adrenaline as he barked out locations and orders. 

The numbers just seemed to keep growing until some finally made it past Third Shidi and charged at Wei Wuxian. He ducked under the first blow, striking his palm upwards in a sudden smack that cracked the bastard’s neck and threw him back onto his little buddy, Wei Wuxian biting back a scream as lightning shot up his injured arm. He sent out a kick to send the two bodies crashing backwards, knocking their heads together with a crack.

Wei Wuxian crashed to the side at a flash of moonlight, the sword shaving off a few strands of his hair as the enemy continued in a relentless assault that had Wei Wuxian dodging and kicking on the ground with no break to scramble up. He swiped a bomb out of his bag and the enemy shut his eyes in preparation, Wei Wuxian smirking as he dropped the bomb to cover his ears with one hand and his shoulder, “BANSHEE!!!”

Third Shidi smacked his hands against his ears without even dropping his sword just as a horrifyingly piercing screech thundered through the forest, sending whatever birds were left scrambling to escape. Wei Wuxian laughed as the bastards around him dropped unconscious with blood dripping out of their ears, his own still ringing from being at ground zero.

Without a second to waste, Wei Wuxian pulled himself up with the tree trunk and reached for his sword as one of the recovered assailants charged at him blindly, cutting through his chest like paper then using his momentum to turn and drive his sword into another guy and using his body for leverage as he roundhouse kicked a third behind him. Wei Wuxian pulled out his sword swiftly and jumped to back up Third Shidi, slicing clean through one guy at his back and two at his side when he felt himself flying through the air, a stabbing pain shooting through his good arm.

Wei Wuxian crashed to the ground, arrow sticking out just below his shoulder joint glinting purple and red light in a mockery of Wei Wuxian’s own troop colors. He willed his numb arm to move, kicking another bastard’s knees as he tried stabbing down and then kicking his face for good measure. A shadow behind him had Wei Wuxian flipping around in time to block, cursing as his legs were angled in the wrong direction and twisting his neck to dodge the blow when as arrow struck the bastard right in the fucking head.

More thumps sounded behind him as Wei Wuxian twisted around to find four bodies hitting the floor at the same time, bullseye on each one. 

A whinny roared through the battlefield as a horse charged through people like roadkill, a silver flash of moonlight severing head from bodies with the swiftness of a war god.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened as he saw the man haloed by the moon flicking blood off his sword as if he were too pure for such filthy things. He lashed out his sword with the ruthlessness of a demon, eyes glowing the molten starlight of divine fury as he swept Wei Wuxian’s limp body into his hold.

The arrows were white.

[yilingradishfairy]

The Gusu Lan are said to have an innate connection with music. The Gusu Lan are also said to love deeply – with their whole soul – so deeply that they seem to only be able to fall in love once.  

Lan Wangji knows these rumours.  He also knows the truth, or close to it, as it has been handed down through the generations. Their connection to music runs far deeper than the other sects could dream.  Every Lan heart contains a song, a musical piece that encapsulates the very fiber of their being, and it only comes to life under a specific set of circumstances. The parameters to unlock your heartsong are highly disputed, but the generally accepted condition to fill is … to meet your soulmate.  

—-

For Wangji Week 2020

Day 2 – Music

Hello, I am so excited to contribute my first fic to the MDZS fandom!  Happy Birthday, Lan Wangji!  

A/N: I have no experience or knowledge of how to write a song.  Also, I haven’t read the novel yet, so the timeline of events is based on the Untamed (2019).  The concept of the heartsong was inspired by Attainment, written by Christian Richtown.  

It happened on the first day that cultivators from all sects began to arrive in Gusu.  With the sheer numbers of strangers shoved into close proximity to Lan Wangji, it is not unreasonable to think that he might meet his soulmate then. When he felt the first piece of his heartsong, when the same four notes played themselves for him over and again, he thought surely it could be any of the hundreds of students that had arrived in droves this morning to study the Lan principles.  Lan Wangji carefully combed through the mental list he had compiled of newly arrived students.  Surely it could be any of them, he reasoned.  Or even one who had escorted a student but was not necessarily a student themselves.  

But truly, he knew in his heart when it had happened.  

He knew exactly who had unlocked his heartsong.

When he had first felt the stirrings of a song, he had ignored it.  A man of few words, Lan Wangji preferred to communicate through action or through song. A true Lan, he was well versed in the art of writing songs.  He had written one for every thought he could not voice, for every wish that was too large for words.  So when the notes began to fill his heart, he gave them little thought.  He was too busy silencing this noisy troublemaker who had the audacity to try to enter the Cloud Recesses without his pass.  

But the second time that the notes rose in Lan Wangji’s heart, he had to give them his attention.  For it was the dead of night, there was only one person before him, and it was oh so quiet.  The only sound other than the weak strains of his heart song was the whisper of the night wind … until the troublemaker replaced the peace with the sound of his noisy babble.  

Then, there were the sounds of a fight: swords clanging, fabric rustling, and hearts beating together in an intricate dance. The notes helpfully played themselves along to the rhythm of their struggle.  

Finally, the sound of a jar shattering pierced through the rest of the noise.  Lan Wangji felt he should have been able to savor the victory, but he could not think with all the noise that this recalcitrant pest, his apparent soulmate, had caused.  He put the rowdy student under another silencing spell to cease his chatter, but he could do nothing to drown out the song in his heart.  

---

Lan Wangji had heard that the heartsong was not quick to reveal itself.  A few notes at first meeting, then a few more the next, and a few more the next, and on it goes.  However, given that they sit across the aisle from each other every day during the teaching, Lan Wangji has learned an entire stanza by the end of the month.  This was, of course, exacerbated by the fact that he spent his free time babysitting the nuisance during his punishments in the Library Pavilion, but Lan Wangji could not stopper his curiosity.  Who was this Wei Wuxian, this unpredictable trickster? Who was he truly, that he should be Lan Wangji’s soulmate?  Sometimes, he thought he could understand, thought he saw through his flashy tricks, thought he had glimpsed the heart beneath all his affectations, but this troublemaker always found a way to turn it into a joke, to turn him into a joke.

Once again, Lan Wangji stormed out of the Pavilion. Surely this delinquent cannot be the perfect other half of him, the mate of his soul.  He must be misinterpreting the cues.  After all, the heartsong is an old and mysterious phenomenon that no one truly understood.  He pored through the old family journals, searching for even a mention of the heartsong. He looked into the origins, paramaters, and interpretations of the heartsong, but the ancient texts were decidedly unhelpful.  Each ancestor had wildly contrasting opinions with no basis in fact, while what little conclusive evidence existed was highly disputed.  However, every ancestor seemed to agree that ignoring the call of the heartsong was foolish.  Even the cultivators that had initially shared his doubts of soulmates and heartsongs eventually changed their tune.  

Except for Lan Yi.  She was the only Lan on record to have resisted the mate to her soul and the song in her heart.  However, Lan Yi had mysteriously disappeared sometime after battling her soulmate, and the texts were maddeningly vague as to the circumstances of their dispute or even the identity of her soulmate.  Of course, when Lan Yi shared her story in the Cold Pool, it was all too apparent.  Lan Yi had chosen the call of the Stygian over the call of her heartsong, of her soulmate.  But she failed in her attempts to purify it, as Baoshan Sanren had feared.  Lan Yi’s actions forced her soulmate into seclusion. Plagued by remorse, Lan Yi was too ashamed to face her.  Instead, she devoted the rest of her life to containing that dangerous relic. Alone.  

Lan Yi now entrusted the Stygian metal to him, no, to them, because of course Wei Wuxian was with Lan Wangji at a time like this.  He was always with him; he refused to leave him alone.  His ancestor glanced pointedly at the pair, at the sacred forehead ribbon that tied them together, at the protection Lan Wangji had bestowed upon this foreign cultivator.  Wei Wuxian continued to theorize about the Stygian metal, unaware of the significance of the ribbon wrapped around his wrist, ignorant of what he had truly asked of Lan Wangji.  The Second Jade watched his ancestor come to her own conclusion about the grandstudent of Baoshan Sanren, and she turned again to her descendant. She smiled with approval and a touch of wistfulness.  Do not make the same mistakes I did, her sad smile seemed to say.  Do not let him go.  

Lan Wangji stole a glance at the troublemaker beside him, who had barreled his way into his life and refused to leave.  He moved his gaze to the ribbon between them, thinking of all the things it meant.  And he felt something inside him settle.  This troublemaker beside him was somehow the other half of his soul, something his heart had recognized while his head did not.  He did not know why Wei Wuxian was his soulmate but maybe that was not for him to know.  If destiny knew they should stay side by side, if even Wei Wuxian knew somehow that his place was beside him, Lan Wangji would also stay in his place beside him, and perhaps that would be enough. Frenzied notes surged through his heart, breaking into a poignant crescendo.  His heartsong trilled happily with the new addition, almost as if rewarding him for his decision.  

---

The only time Lan Wangji's heartsong had gone quiet since he had met his soulmate was after the Cloud Recesses was attacked. Or maybe it wasn't that it stopped, but that he was deaf to it.  Grief rose up, clear and cold, and shut off every previous emotion he had pretended not to have.  The desecration of his home, the deaths of his people, and the loss of his brother hurt too acutely.  The grief song he composed was violent and aching and drowned out all other songs in his heart.  

But then, hope bloomed in the snow.  The second he limped into Qishan Wen and heard his soulmate relentlessly calling his name, his heartsong came roaring back at a volume that made him physically wince.  Another entire stanza has been added to the song.  He did his best to ignore it, this time for Wei Ying's sake and not his own.  But allowing Wen Chao to torment Wei Ying was something he simply could not do.  He stepped in front of his soulmate and intercepted Wen Chao’s whip.  But Wei Ying seemed to have it in his mind that he should be the one protecting Lan Wangji.  He insisted that Lan Wangji stand down and willingly went to the dungeons.  He offered him medicines and orchestrated rest stops, even going so far as to offer to carry him on his back.  And for every time Wei Ying approached him during captivity – for every way he tried to protect him – his heartsong added another note.

Finally, cradling his wounded soulmate in the depths of the monster’s cave, Lan Wangji felt his heartsong complete.  As he funneled healing energy into the feverish Wei Ying, praying that he would live, he hummed the newly completed melody to his soulmate, though he had long since passed out.  Lan Wangji’s voice was rusty and uneven from disuse; he is far more comfortable creating music with his fingers.  But Wei Ying had asked.  So Wei Ying received.  

---

Evidently, even a finished heartsong is always changing. The moment he heard of the attack on Yunmeng Jiang, his heart skipped a beat.  His heartsong skipped a note.  The tempo of the melody kicked up and played in a panicked refrain until Lan Wangji could find better news.  When he found Jiang Wanyin, alive but frantically searching for his adopted brother, the notes calmed down and instead turned anxious and dreading.  

Finally, they solved the mystery of the Wen-torturer's identity and Wei Ying's disappearance, and Lan Wangji could breathe again.  But, his heartsong would never be restored to its original form, for it changed again. Chenqing, the dizi that Lan Wangji had never known Wei Ying could play, single-handedly rearranged his entire heartsong ... into a duet.  

During the anxious months without Wei Ying, Lan Wangji had started to play his heartsong to himself on his guqin as a comfort.  But now, he will never be able to fully match all of the notes now.  Not without the assistance of his soulmate.  

Still, during the dark time Wei Ying spent in self-appointed exile at Yiling, the familiar melodies of his heartsong soothed Lan Wangji.  Lan Wangji struggled with what to do.  He wanted to drag Wei Ying to Gusu to be with him.  He wanted to run away to Yiling to be with Wei Ying.  He wanted to charge into Carp Tower and fight every lotus eater that dared to think themselves better than Wei Ying.  But Lan Wangji practiced that acclaimed Lan restraint and did none of these things.  

---

And he regretted it.  Oh, how he regretted his inaction.  While his ancestor had lost her soulmate to her actions, he lost his soulmate to his own inaction.  His brother disagreed, but Lan Wangji could not shake the weight of it from his shoulders.  The moment his soulmate had plummeted off the cliff at Nightless City, and his heart with him, Lan Wangji's heartsong went silent.  The pain, the emptiness, the loneliness of losing the song in his heart, the mate to his soul, almost made him want to give up on living.  Many other Lan cultivators throughout history, after losing their soulmate, met their end tragically.  The Gusu Lan are known to love deeply, but theirs is a tragic kind of love.  A once-in-a-lifetime love that, once lost, always tears them apart.  

A/N: Whoo, I had no idea it would be this long!  I didn’t even mention like every emotional moment that WangXian had before the Bloodbath at Nightless City and how it affected LWJ’s heartsong (there are so many of them, I didn’t even try).  

So I hope you enjoyed the ride!  I’ve got a little bit more to say on this subject, and it happens to coincide with tomorrow’s prompts Loss and Recovery!  If you enjoyed this, please let me know what you thought!

[honeyy-lotus]

All his life the only colour Lan Xichen could see was blue, he thought he was lucky though, blue was such a beautiful colour and it was in everything around him. Everyday he got to see clear blue skies and the sparkling blue of the surrounding rivers in Cloud Recesses, he was lucky to see the fine details of their sect robe, how stark they were against the rest of the world.

His brother didn’t see any of it, Lan Wangji couldn’t see his blue world, his own life saturated with another colour Lan Xichen hoped was equally beautiful. The only thing his brother ever told him about his colour is that it was rarely found in their home. So Lan Xichen felt lucky, even though they all lived in a world of limited colour, at least his was everywhere.

Because of this Lan Xichen did not live with a strong need to find his soulmate, of course he wanted to, anyone would be foolish to not want to spend their life with the very soul destined to match their own, but the young Lan was happy to be patient. If the world was to allow them to meet then he would be glad.

It was common for most soulmates to never meet, the world was so full of people all spread out that it wasn’t strange for them to never cross paths, many people would then go in search for their soulmate, constantly travelling in hopes of meeting their fated one. Others were happy to settle with someone else, like his father did. Lan Xichen doesn’t recall a great deal of his mother, their time together was always so limited, but one thing that always stuck with him was how his mother could always note the different colours around them.

It was ~ when his uncle Lan Qiren announced that he and Lan Wangji would be joining him on a visit to Yunmeng for a meeting with the Jiang sect leader. Their uncle was usually the one to handle the affairs of the sect, normally it was a task he would handle on his own, but this year he had decided that his nephews were now allowed enough to join him on these meetings.

“Lan Xichen, one day you will take over as sect leader, it is most important that you develop strong bonds with your fellow cultivators, with strong allies you can guarantee a peaceful life for your sect.” Lan Qiren had said to him afterwards. Lan Xichen nodded to show he understood. His uncle was always telling him things like that, each conversation would lead into advice to prep him for his future.

“I will do my best for our sect uncle.” He promised, Lan Xichen didn’t have time to worry about soulmates and colours. He had his sect and that would always remain his truest love.

Their days travelling together had been duller than Lan Xichen expected, on these new roads he had hoped he would find fields of blue, yet except for the sky, the world remained an unchanged grey. He tried not to let the disappointment get to him. After all he was still lucky, his home had more than enough colour for him to enjoy.

Yunmeng was beautiful, the water was a deeper blue than that of Gusu and even the flowers and creatures around seemed to have specks of blue through them, Lan Xichen could barely contain his delight as he took in the new sights, so different from his home and when he looked at Lan Wangji, he noticed his brother must have been sharing a similar experience. Maybe this new place had more of Lan Wangji’s colour, he hoped so.

Reaching Lotus Pier Lan Xichen noticed there was a crowd waiting to meet the, roughly a dozen people all dressed in a similar shade of grey. One man stood at the front, the sect leader Lan Xichen assumed. The three Lans left their boat and walked along the pier to meet their host.

“Sect leader Jiang, it is good to see you once again. May I present my nephews, Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji.” Lan Qiren greeted Jiang Fengmian, and the two teens bowed, displaying the grace that had been drilled into them since they were children.

“Welcome Lan Qiren. Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, you two have grown up well. I wonder if you recognise me? I hope your travel was pleasant, please make yourself comfortable while visiting Lotus Pier, and if there is anything you should need, I offer my son to assist you.” Jiang Fengmian smiled bowing back to the Lan’s before gesturing for someone in the crowd behind him “Jiang Cheng, come introduce yourself.”

From the disciples that had joined Jiang Fengmian on the pier, a teenage boy around the same age as Lan Wangji stepped out, it was hard to ignore the air of arrogance that seemed to follow the boy as he walked towards them. His chin raised high and proud. That was until his eyes met with Lan Xichen. 

All Lan Xichen could think when he saw the boy was ‘not blue’. In pure shock Lan Xichen stepped back, everything around him felt new, it was new. New colours enveloped his previously blue world, the contrasts made his head swim, he felt dizzy.

Meanwhile the other teen stood frozen, his eyes glued to Lan Xichen, any composure he once held was gone. Jiang Cheng stood pale faced by his father’s side, looking into Lan Xichen’s eyes. He saw them clearly, a warm rich colour, he didn’t know what to call yet, they shined brightly from Lan Xichen’s pale face.

“Your eyes. They aren’t blue."

Read the rest here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855570

[ibijau]

Burn it down AU // on AO3

It’s wedding day y’all!

Nie Huaisang looked radiant in his wedding robes, and even before the three bows had taken place, he told at least a dozen people that he refused to wear any colour but red from then on. In fact, anyone who dared approach him and Lan Wangji was sure to get asked what they thought of that idea, and whether they agreed or not that red was the perfect colour to compliment his complexion. He only stopped when he brother told him it was time for the bows, but even then he looked ready to chatter down anyone who’d so much as look him the wrong way.

They took the first bow, to heaven and earth. It was torture on Lan Wangji’s still healing back, but he had refused to take any drugs. This was a dangerous day in more than one way, and he needed to have his wits.

The second bow, to their parents. It struck Lan Wangji for the first time that neither of them had parents anymore. He wondered what his would have thought of this sham of a marriage. His father might have been relieved to see his sons were more willing to bend to rules and decorum than he had been. His mother… he did not think she would have liked this, although she probably would not have had the power to stop it.

The third bow, to each other. At that point Lan Wangji’s back was sending him in agony, though he was careful not to show it. The other pain, in his heart, was harder to contain. He couldn’t help trying to imagine Wei Wuxian next to him, dressed in red. He would have been breathtaking. He always was. Lan Wangji’s heart would have clenched just as painfully as it did then, but for entirely different reasons.

When they stood up again, congratulations rained upon them. Lan Wangji did his best to accept them, but his mind was elsewhere. Thankfully Lan Xichen appeared to understand and quickly passed A-Yuan back to him. It was more strain on his body, but Lan Wangji felt himself relax instantly. He had done what they’d asked of him. A-Yuan was his now. They could not take him away again.

Of course, the presence of a child in his arms immediately caught the attention of their guests. It had been formally announced that he had a son, but not where the child came from. Lying was forbidden, but the truth was impossible to share. So without surprise, people who approached to congratulate him on his wedding tried to ask about A-Yuan. Some were even bold enough to directly address the little boy, who was starting to get overwhelmed by the crowd after so long alone in the Jingshi.

“Well just look at him, he has my eyes of course!” Nie Huaisang would say, laughing at the invasive questions. “Why do you think we had to get married so fast? You know my secret now, I’m a fallen woman, and yet Hanguang-Jun was kind enough to do the honourable thing!”

That sort of nonsense got the smaller man quite a few irritated glare, but he never relented and kept chattering on with a bright smile. It never took long for people to realise that they would not get a single word out of Lan Wangji has long as that little fool was next to him, and they moved on, waiting for a better chance. Nie Huaisang appeared to be having the time of his life, and he pretended not to notice the angry looks Nie Mingjue kept throwing his way, nor Lan Xichen’s disappointed ones.

In truth, the whole thing was going better than Lan Wangji would have expected. Nie Huaisang hadn’t made empty promises when he had offered to make sure nobody would bother Lan Wangji.

He still felt his whole body go rigid with rage when Jiang Cheng came to them to offer his congratulations. It had to be done, Yunmeng Jiang was too important a sect, it would have been noticed and discussed if its leader did not talk to the newlyweds. Lan Wangji had tried to steel himself for that moment, but being so near to the man everyone said had dealt the fatal blow to Wei Wuxian, the one who had led the assault into the Burial Mounds because he’d been the only one to have visited them before, that was...

“Ah, Jiang Cheng, what a tragedy this day must be for you!” Nie Huaisang sighed with a needlessly dramatic hand gesture. “But you had your chance, and you let it pass.”

Jiang Cheng, who had been glaring at Lan Wangji with no less hatred than Lan Wangji felt for him, turned to look at the other groom.

“What nonsense are you on about this time?” he barked.

“You and me, me and you… Jiang Cheng, I remember our days as students here, the tension… I’m sorry that it couldn’t be,” Nie Huaisang bemoaned. “I was always too handsome for you. It’s better that we stayed friends. Although, if I divorce this husband someday, I might be willing to give you a chance. I’m sure I’d look very fetching in purple, don’t you agree?”

“You!” Jiang Cheng exploded. “This is your wedding and you’re speaking of divorce?”

“Not so loud!” Nie Huaisang complained, taking the liberty of leaning against Lan Wangji’s side, who elected to allow it. “My husband might hear you! I’m sorry Jiang Cheng, don’t insist, it’s just not meant to be. But I promise I’ll always think of you fondly, for all that we could have had.”

At those shameless words, Jiang Cheng’s face turned a very amusing shade of purple that nearly matched his robes.

“As if anyone would marry you if they had a choice!” Jiang Cheng spat before striding away.

Nie Huaisang laughed again, apparently untouched by the insult. He had accomplished his goal anyway: after this, no one else came near them for fear of having to deal with his idiotic ramblings. Once, when he was younger, Lan Wangji would have felt humiliated that he’d now be associated in everyone’s mind with such a foolish man, no matter how fake the foolishness. Instead, he now felt grateful to Nie Huaisang. If he’d had to speak to any of these people, he’d have lost his calm and made a far worse scene than this.

The rest of the wedding passed more quietly. At the feast, Lan Wangji was happy to sit with his son on his lap, feeding him anything that A-Yuan pointed at. The little boy was always so happy to try new foods, although he struggled with not gorging himself on it. Things had not been easy in the Burial Mounds. Hopefully, over time, A-Yuan would forget what it had once felt like to not always have enough to eat.

Then, at last, Lan Xichen came to tell them that it would be acceptable for them to leave the feast if they desired. He offered to keep A-Yuan with him for the night if they wished for privacy. Lan Wangji firmly refused, while Nie Huaisang laughed once again, as he had done all day.

The three of them retired to the Jingshi, and away from those people who had murdered his beloved and the family Wei Wuxian had chosen for himself, Lan Wangji finally breathed again.

It was unpleasant to prepare for the night with a stranger in the house, but Lan Wangji managed. He only had to keep his focus on A-Yuan, half asleep already. But the time the child was ready for sleep, Nie Huaisang had already climbed into the second bed brought earlier into the Jingshi, and he had turned to face the wall to give his new husband privacy. Soon enough Lan Wangji laid down as well, holding his son close. 

Lan Wangji was drifting off to sleep when a soft, muffled sound brought him back to full awareness. He thought at first that it was A-Yuan, crying in his sleep. It happened sometimes. The little boy never seemed to remember when he awoke, but he suffered from intense nightmares. Thankfully, it was not the case that night. A-Yuan was peacefully curled up, his eyes perfectly dry. If anything, he had a faint smile on his lips. For him, the day had been a little intense but fun. Perhaps Nie Huaisang wasn’t wrong about A-Yuan needing to be around other people.

A louder sob caught Lan Wangji’s attention. It could not be coming from A-Yuan, and there was no one else in the Jingshi except…

His eyes went to the other bed across the room. Nie Huaisang had wrapped himself in his blanket so tightly that not a piece of him was visible. If Lan Wangji looked closely, he could see that bundle of fabric shaking slightly from time to time, the way a person’s frame might if they were trying to contain their tears and failing.

With how cheerful he had been since they’d first become engaged, Lan Wangji had assumed that Nie Huaisang did not mind being thrown into a political match. He had said here and there that it wasn’t the situation he would have preferred, but his manners had been so flippant that Lan Wangji had not taken those remarks seriously. 

It reminded him of Wei Wuxian, joking and laughing even when something was so clearly wrong with him after the Sunshot Campaign.

It was not something he wanted to be reminded of.

Lan Wangji hesitated on how to react to this situation. To be crying so heavily, Nie Huaisang must have been truly distressed, and the only logical cause for that distress was their wedding. Even if he had been someone well equipped for comforting others, which he was not, Lan Wangji did not think his help would be appreciated. If Nie Huaisang had wanted him to know how unhappy the match made him, he would have said so. Since he had waited until he had thought Lan Wangji was asleep to start crying, he must have hoped to keep this a secret.

It would be better to respect that decision, Lan Wangji decided, at least for the time being. Even someone like Nie Huaisang must have had his pride.

He thought of his mother, and wondered if she too had cried after her wedding. She would not have had anyone to turn to, save the man who had forced her into a union everyone said she never wanted. 

The situation was different of course, but Lan Wangji still felt a bitter taste at that comparison. He would not be like his father. 

In the morning, he would speak to Nie Huaisang. 

Lan Wangji was the first to wake, before the bell calling for it. He rose from his bed to take medicine for the pain in his back, glad that he could afford himself that luxury. The previous day had been extremely unpleasant on that regard as well. 

With this taken care of, Lan Wangji started working on making A-Yuan wake up. Only when the child sat up did he realise that after such an exhausting day, he probably should have been allowed to sleep in a little longer. Habits were hard to break. 

Just as he was wondering what to do about Nie Huaisang, A-Yuan took the problem in his own hands but jumping down from his father's bed and onto the other man's. Poor Nie Huaisang was startled awake, and groaned desperately at the golden light filtering through the window. 

"Oh, that'll take some getting used to," he lamented. "This is an hour for going to bed, not for waking up! I'm going to die within a month of this." 

Lan Wangji did not comment on this, nor did he point out that Nie Huaisang should have not only woken up, but also left his bed and started getting ready for the day. The marriage contract stated that since they would live in Cloud Recessed, Nie Huaisang would naturally have to follow the rules of Gusu Lan. It would have to be obeyed in public, but Lan Wangji thought that in the privacy of their home, he would allow some exception. 

The Jingshi had been a prison before, it did not need to be one again. 

And so he let Nie Huaisang and A-Yuan linger in bed, the two of them playing some game that provoked a great amount of laughter. In the meanwhile Lan Wangji took the chance to meditate, until a knock on the door announced that breakfast had been brought to them. They ate that in silence, although Nie Huaisang’s grimaces at the plain food said more than a thousand speeches. 

Then, as Nie Huaisang and A-Yuan put away the traces of their meal, Lan Wangji remembered the events of the night, and his decision not to let them go unchecked. 

���Did you sleep well?” he asked, earning a surprised look from the other man who soon turned it into a smile. 

“Like a baby,” Nie Huaisang announced. “Which means I woke up a few times during the night. Why is the mattress so damn hard? I’ve laid down on rocks that were more comfortable than that! I’ll have to order a proper, soft, comfortable mattress from Gusu. I’ll go mad if I have to sleep like this for more than a week!”

Now that Lan Wangji could think of looking for it, it seemed to him that there was something not quite right with Nie Huaisang’s smile. It almost did not look forced, but it couldn’t manage to come off as fully sincere either. 

He must have stared too much. Nie Huaisang frowned for a moment under his gaze, before once more turning his full attention to A-Yuan who was trying to dress on his own. When the little boy was ready, Nie Huaisang suggested that it was high time they try out that kite he had gifted A-Yuan weeks earlier. Lan Wangji hesitated, still tired from the previous day, but his son’s hopeful grin convinced him. He could deal with a little more pain if it made A-Yuan happy.

“Then A-Yuan should go get that kite while we grown-ups finish getting ready,” Nie Huaisang told the child. “Oh, we’re going to have such a great day!”

A-Yuan nodded with great cheer, clearly delighted to be leaving the house two days in a row, and scampered off.

"You heard me last night, didn't you?" Nie Huaisang asked, still somehow smiling but refusing to look away from the direction A-Yuan had run off to. "Sorry about that. It's my first time getting married, of course I was a little emotional. Don't worry, I'll make sure not to bother you again."

"You can." 

Nie Huaisang’s smile, already so forced, wavered. 

"I understand," Lan Wangji insisted. "You did not want this either. You can pretend outside, but here you shouldn't have to. We can be honest with each other." 

His husband's smile dropped entirely. Nie Huaisang turned to face him and quickly nodded, as if relieved that he was allowed to forgo his little comedy. 

Of course the instant A-Yuan returned with his kite, Nie Huaisang was smiling again, as brightly as if he'd never had a sad thought in his life. Lan Wangji did not call him out on that, and instead tried to also feel some joy about their outing, to avoid spoiling his son's happiness.