#lalo x you

[nanabrainrot]

HMMC drabble or thoughts on someone insulting Lalo's wife and calling her dumb/needy or something and Lalo gets angry bc only he's allowed to call her his pet and his sweet dumb girl

yesss ive been slacking with hmmc i need to create a prompt list to be able to have a steady queue with it bc i luvvv lalo i luv u lalo

Idiotic Audacity

Lalo hates when his wife gets involved - even in conversation. Even in passing.

ToxicoHusband!Lalo/Wife!Reader

WC: 1138

Warnings! gun violence and murder, undertones of machismo misogyny

“You got a wife?” the guy started casually, but the mention was enough to make Nacho tense. Enough to make Lalo pause, as he counted the money in his hands. He didn’t look up, but his nostrils flared from what he could see.

“What’s it to you?” Lalo countered in a voice devoid of interest, though the wording betrayed him: he didn’t like when you were talked about. Perceived. Acknowledged. The fact some guy thought you were a talking point over a deal almost made his spit come up. It made him want to hawk a loogie in his eye. 

“Your ring finger. It’s inked,” he replied, leaning into his chair. It’s a statement, like the weather being nice or the color of his shirt. A pause, before the next bill is flicked as he counts it.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know any other members who actually have a wife,” he kept going. Nacho palmed his forehead, watching the scene unfold. He never really pressed Lalo about his relationship to his wife. She rarely made eye contact with him, avoided touching him like the plague, and almost used Lalo as a tin can connected by string to the rest of the world; like you were a girl still stuck playing treehouse with a childish telephone. 

“Well I do,” Lalo scoffed as he continued to flick through the bills before reaching for a rubber band.

“Your girl okay with it?” the man continues, head lulling back on the chair to watch the ceiling. Like he was bored. Bored talking about the wife of one of the most dangerous men south and now north of the border. The vein in his forehead twitched.

“Girl? She’s not a girl, she’s my wife,” Lalo huffed. The bills flicked again, a stack of paper crisp and without any hints of wear. Perfect.

“Girl, wife? What’s the difference? She’s a girl you married then, it’s the same -” “It’s not the same. She hasn’t been a girl since she was 17. She’s a woman, she’s a wife. Drop it, pendejo,” Lalo warned with a dense voice as he flicked through the bills with eyes that didn’t glance up.

“What’s wrong with asking about some girl?” 

“There’s everything wrong with it, you don’t chat about a man’s wife, especially not mine,” he snarled, smacking the bills down on the adjacent table with a hard face: his nostrils flared, eyes wide, and chest tight. The conspicuous nature of the tattooed band usually confirmed him married but he hated the inevitable questions. The fact anyone but him acknowledged you was enough to piss him off; rarely did people see you. Even rarer did they speak to you. Never did they speak of you. 

“Okay, I’ll quit bothering you about some dumb broad and we can get to -”

The next words never come. To is the last word. The firing of a gun forces the room into silence as Nacho stares at the scene: his jaw is clean off and the force of the bullet busting through his cranium left a big splatter on the wall behind him. The wall several feet away. Lalo treads near the body with his wild eyes, that hazy mind without rhyme or reason as he seethed with rage: Lalo kicks the body, toes of his loafer cracking at the skeleton in the corpse. The crack of his shins breaking and body shuffling, limp and lame, at the force of his kicks until Lalo slams the heel of his foot into the body’s chest and forces it back to the floor. Nacho is frozen, listening to Lalo as he fires more shots into the body, “Don’t-”

Shot.

“Call-”

Shot.

“Her-”

Shot.

“Stupid.”

Nacho stands there as Lalo pulls back to reality, tucking his gun back in his pants and breathing hot uneven breaths as he paced in circles with his hands behind his head. Eyes closed. Breathing steadier, steadier, as the minutes of silence passed in the warehouse. Before Lalo leaves, he gestures to the mess to Nacho and sits in the car only after grabbing the wads of uncounted cash. His head in his hands, Lalo is like a child whose secret, most precious toy was discovered. His insurmountable and impossible desire to keep you unknown to the world like a precious painting mounted only for his eyes always seemed to triumph his senses. Nacho rustles the garbage bags in the back of the Monte Carlo and does not ask why he is being dropped off when he is. He just watches the screen in silence as Amber and Jo tentatively try to match the pieces of the puzzle; he can still see the red and hear the gunshot.

-

“So why does he call you stupid? You’re not stupid to him, he doesn’t know you like I know you. He knows I’m married so why does he call you stupid?”

You hum, slicing the steak on his plate before sliding it across the counter before rounding it to sit by him. He’s still annoyed by his audacity and strangely, at the idea that someone insulted you. To say your marriage was devoid of moments of Lalo saying hurtful things would be wrong; a good portion of it was Lalo asking if you were dumb or confirming if you were dumb. His nickname for you most days was “dummy.” Your little face screws in concern, watching him tentatively as he bit into the steak. Watching. He sometimes nitpicked the seasoning of it, depending on how long you left it to marinate as he was gone. But he didn’t. He chewed on the meat, seared to a warm brown, and nestled next to some greens. He drinks until the beer is gone and brushes his teeth with you. Showers with you, silent. Still brooding. You never talk much, so the sound of the evening is the dripping of the faucet and running water in the shower, and rustling of bristles of your toothbrushes. The sound of mouthwash hitting porcelain. The sound of the fan whistling into the nest of blankets you crocheted on the king bed. The hum of the air conditioner. 

The rustling of him getting into bed with you, the cord of the lamp switching off, and his breath in your ear. The sensation of his hands pulling you closer to him and fiddling with the fabric of your nightgown (satiny and flowy; easy access). He mumbles into your hair as you start to doze off, your humming into his forearm, “I know you’re smart… you dumb girl…”  The last sound of the evening is this: “I think you’re smart too, baby.”

You press your head into his bicep as he spoons you, hand still rustling with the nightgown. You were smart enough to only address him with sweet words, when the rage wore off.

[urban-mutt]

Commission for @deathlylovenote !

[monkeybebop]

POV: Lacho approach you at the bar.

[mandowifey]

Do you have any funny head canons for Lalo? Not even funny per se but just weird shit he might do?

Nora I'm gonna smooch you.

Lalo 'Eduardo' Salamanca - Funny Headcannons

Warnings: General NSFW talk, Lalo needs his own warning tbh. Dark humor! Morbid humor! a lot of implied psychological manipulation. Cartel boy does Cartel shit. You know how it goes.

Lalo has a lot of strange and somewhat funny quirks.

First and foremost, the fact that he refuses to sleep longer than an hour or two at a time is wild. You need your sleep, which he does understand, but he also can't sit still so you often wake up in an empty bed.

He'd have your sleep schedule memorized, though. Knows about when you get tired, when you wake up, the times you stir to go to the bathroom, etc. Of course, he doesn't tell you that, but you find it uncanny that he can anticipate when you need to lay down or when to have breakfast ready in the morning.

Another weird thing Lalo does is zoning out. Sometimes, you can talk to him, and he's empty eyed, staring at the window, motionless. It's uncanny to you because you have no idea what's going on inside his head. But then he'd blink, and the light would return to him and he'd smile at you and encourage you to continue talking.

The guy has a thing about pushing peoples buttons.

He just... he craves being a menace - mostly because no one can really do anything to stop him. Lalo often smiles or grins when someone is getting worked up/flustered when he's prodding at their nerves.

Unfortunately, that means you catch the receiving end of it too.

Lalo can't help it! He loves watching you get riled up and red-faced. He thinks you shouting is adorable, and the hard, angry fucking afterwards is sublime. Lalo sports your claw marks like trophies, calls you his little wild cat.

Another thing he does that's weird is mirroring. Lalo is good at adapting and charming folks, sometimes he mirrors you to get what he wants.

Not in the mood for sex? Well, that's okay! How about we lay in bed and laugh? What's this? His hand is between your legs while he cracks jokes in your ear. Weird, guess you changed your mind.

Not a weird HC but he's intentionally withdrawn.

He keeps a lot of stuff to himself, making it difficult to discern if he's really upset or not.

Another weird thing is he likes to watch you shower.

He'd sit on the sink or lean against it, while pulling the door open to watch you quietly. Sometimes it seems like he's admiring you and others he looks almost angry.

You know he see's you as a weakness.

He's protective, always thinking 10 steps ahead.

You are his, after all.

Lalo is a gift giver. He likes to buy you stuff you mention off handedly. It's eerie sometimes because he gets you things you didn't realize you even wanted.

Like he's bringing home a dress you glanced at while shopping with him, and now there it is, in your hands. Meanwhile, he's smiling ear to ear and kissing your head, asking if you like it and watching your reaction.

Lalo is weird in the sense he's not extremely physical. The guy is similar to a cat. He'll pat your back, ruffle your hair or tap your chin, but he doesn't do many hugs or kisses. Even when you two are alone.

Though he would definitely not mind you laying against him, asleep, while he watched the fire pit and let his thoughts wander.

However, when the mood strikes him?

Lord he's on you.

Mouth on yours, devouring you, kissing and biting. Can't keep his hands off of you, groping and squeezing and just all over you.

Lalo isn't super weird, but he has those little mannerisms you find charming!

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Lalo discovering that reader has piercings down there ( maybe nip piercings too??) and absolutely going to fuckjng town sucking reader off and tugging on the sensitive piercings w his teeth

even better if reader is high and even more sensitive 🤭

OOOOOOO i have clit/nip piercings so this HITS :33 i think he’s rly drawn to alt bitches in general sooo if u got a lot of piercings or tats he’s gonna flirt with you HEAVYYY

picture it ok ur crossfaded in a the bathroom at a gay bar making out in the stalls and he gets your shirt off. fucking PURRS when he sees your jewelry

“yeah, yeah, yeah, look at YOU, pretty boy! can i give ‘em a kiss?”

you smile, “of course.”

after a few glorious seconds of him tongue-twisting your rings and sucking each of your nipples dry, he pulls back.

and he clocks your surgery scars.

“hm? ¿qué son estos? (what are these?)” he mumbles to himself, thinking out loud about you, trying to dissect you. he runs his thumbs across each side. “entonces eso debe significar… (so then that must mean…)”

it all clicks in his head. he gasps dramatically (faggotly), and then starts giggling. he’s laughing at you.

“oooh, you got an extra hole for me?”

now you’re laughing with him, and touching your fingertips together playfully. “maaaybeee…”

“show me.”

you pull your pants and underwear down to your ankles, then turn around. you bend over, bracing yourself on the back wall of the bathroom stall. your jewelry dangles between your swollen pussy lips, just begging to be tugged on.

lalo whistles, low and appreciative.

“god, you’re fucking perfect.”

he doesn’t ask for permission before sucking on this ring. you yelp. loudly.

“AH~!”

lalo swats you across the ass, hoping to spank some sense into you.

“no, bad boy. need you to bite your tongue for me, whore. you better not get me banned from this place~”

[richeeduvie]

Corny wanting but how would Roman and Lalo react if Baby/Princesa woke him up in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare.

Kinda can see Lalo teasing her first but eventually calming her down and getting her back to sleep.

Roman……Roman is the one that I’m not really sure about

Lalo's teasing the shit out of her.

"Stop laughing. Please."

"Ay, Princesa - I'm sorry." He's not. Not really, but he goes to cuddle her. To wrap his arms, strong and pulsing around her frame. Make his girl feel like she can't go anywhere. Cause it seems like she wants to squirm away from him, so embarrassed. But of course he was going to laugh, and of course she was going to wake him up, cause Princesa needs Lalo. "You're just funny. My funny girl-hey, stop trying to run away from me."

Princesa whines, but eventually slumps in Lalo's arms. "It was just...they haven't been that terrifying in awhile."

Lalo's smile comes down softly, his face in her neck.

"It's alright, Princesa. They're just dreams. And you've got no one here but me to protect you from that head of yours. You're all good, hm?"

"...I think so."

Lalo breathes her in, hugs her a little tighter - taking bits of air out of her. He'd take everything from Princesa if it meant that she could be with him here, just here forever. That'd be right for him.

He smooches Princesa's cheek.

"I think you know so, now let's get you back to sleep."

"Okay."

And so they do, or she does, at least.

"Lalo."

Lalo laughs against her skin instead.

"I'm sorry - you just know how to be cute, poking me awake. First time I was gonna sleep through the night too."

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't have to be sorry, Princesa. I'm just saying, the one thing you know is how to be needy. Why is that something to cry about?"

"It's not something to laugh about."

Lalo's smile drops quick. Princesa is tired, so she's grumpy. She mms when he pinches her shoulder.

"Go to bed before you get even more of an attitude."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

Roman's less...kind, to put it kindly.

"...You woke me up so what...I can eat you out?"

"Rome, I just need someone to sit with me. I've never had a dream like that."

"I'm gonna be fucking tired and pissy and you woke me up to wallow in the aftermath of your nightmare? Are we not gonna fuck?"

Baby's sitting crisscross-applesauce. She tilts her head and sighs softly. Roman rubs his eyes like a child as he sits up against the headboard.

"No love-making and you having a nightmare? Did you take something because this behavior is not you behavior."

"I think watching people get brutalized killed my libido for tonight. But...it was a lot."

Roman pffts. "Cause dead people with their meaty insides out definitely is the thing to kill it for you. We've roleplayed worse."

"You almost had a panic attack when I suggested bloodplay."

His eyes widen, then shrink to a glare - immediate defense and childish anger. "Because-that's fucking gross! It's keep people in a well and skin the bottom of their feet behavior! That's not hot! Not the right type of hot and it made me fucking concerned you were fucking Richard Ramirez behind my back."

"You and I were talking about trying new thing-"

"I meant like...a new strap-"

"I'm the one who had a terrifying night terror, Rome! Can you please just...comfort me?"

Roman blinks as the silence grows, as the ask becomes soft and small on Baby's face. He looks down to the blanket.

The way she asks beats at his chest like it hurts. It does. She's asked it like he's never comforted her before, like he's not good at it in general. He can. And he really doesn't want her to have dreams of dismembered people. He doesn't want her to become joyless, she needs to always be happy. The way he exists depends on how happy she is and how she's in the mood to love him. And not just him, he guess. Her job, and his family.

Roman presses his face into her shoulder, arm reaching across her chest to her bicep. He brings Baby down with force.

"Go to bed, people with axes can fuck off because I have you. You're supposed to feel better when I have you like this."

Baby blinks before she takes a moment to settle. She smiles, fingers pressing a curling touch onto Roman.

"Goodnight, Rome."

[keffirinne]

Masterlist

Series:

🔥 Better call Saul:

Let's have some fun / Lalo Salamanca x Reader / WIP, smut

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

💎 Birds of Prey:

Please not him / Roman Sionis x Reader / smut, completed

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

You would look good in red / Victor Zsasz x OC / WIP, smut, angst

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

🐧 Gotham:

Don't lose control / Oswald Cobblepot x Reader / smut, on hold

1 | 2 | 3 |

Oneshots/Requests:

Learn some patience, Sionis / Roman Sionis x YN

Bad dream / Roman Sionis x YN

Overprotective!Roman Sionis / Roman Sionis x YN

Feel free to ask me anything! Always happy to talk to you guys.

[lorelaaii]

From Fairest Creatures

Pairing: Lalo/Female!OC, Bestie!Nacho/OC

Summary: Her mother always said Rose had a “good head on her shoulders.” She looked out for her no-good little brother, drove her abuelita to bingo night and generally led what most would consider a boring, normal life.

That is until her brother lost his goddamned mind and took a job at El Michoacáno making tacos for the cartel.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, forced proximity, NO sexual non con.

Other tags: eventual romance, eventual smut, daddy issues, power imbalance, enemies to lovers, no sexual non con, but definitely some coercion à la forced time together, a good girl breaking bad and descending into the madness of the criminal underworld, protective big brother/third wheel nacho aaaand sexy, psycho Lalo shenanigans.

First few chapters focus mainly on the OC/Nacho friendship.

[superhoeva]

i finally have some time to write so please send in some halloween-y thoughts!! it can be for anyone—logan, carmen, the 141, lalo–doesn’t matter!! scary, dirty, whatever!! i’m dying to do something that doesn’t involve school/work :)

p.s. make sure to have your age in your bio if requesting off anon!!

[nanabrainrot]

Have you got any possessive Lalo headcanons?

BOOYYY DOO IIIII

Lalo Possessive Headcanons

warnings! misogynistic tones, inferred coerced marriage, and him being toxic <3

- this man is actually disgusting w/ how possessive he is.

- he actually rarely lets you out alone, maybe he’ll let you in the backyard alone but you CANNOT go in public without multiple chaperones

- buys u clothes but only clothes he thinks are cute on u; u haven’t been clothes shopping in ages but seem to always have a new outfit; you’re lucky he’s on the stylish side but he seems to prefer long, maxi dresses so you basically only wear that and a pair of little black wedges he loves

- his love language is physical touch and no he will not let you be not touching him at any moment you’re together. if it’s one of the rare occassions you get to meet anyone, he’s got his arm around you or toting you on his arm. You have to sit on his lap without argument or he’ll just make you sit in the car in silence until he’s done. Don’t even bother arguing.

- Your chaperones don’t make eye contact with you and never speak beyond grunts because of the short fuse Lalo has with you

- He has killed like probably 4 chaperones who he felt were eying you weird and definitely mutilated random people who looked at you so cute right

- you are always on business with him. he’s not leaving you home alone. he has to know where you are and he’d rather know you’re safe by having you locked away

- you got married like a month after knowing him because he was so absurdly obsessed and any man who tried to court you after you met him just randomly would be found dead and you knew he was going to continue unless you just gave up and married him

- but, sweetly, he did tattoo his ring on after you got married to show his commitment and devotion <3

- he expected you to also get tattoos dedicated to him. he’d brand you if it hurt less but it would probably hurt the dynamic so fine he won’t ugh.

tl;dr he’s possessive to a very unhealthy point. he’s very much a “women should be seen and not heard” man at heart and will only deal with submissive women. oh you aren’t? he’ll whip you into shape dw :) just be a good dolled up quiet wife at home and he’ll be the best worst husband ever <333

[dalt0nyc0]

Day 25: Cooking As A Love Language

Maybe the entire scene is based off of Ávila and his sandwiches. Shh…

[monkeybebop]

They are in love guys, I promise

Nacho’s just waiting for Lalo to stfu

[cinematicgf]

✧.*࿐⤞ navigation. ♡

.•⁀➷ welcome to my masterlist<3

~

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➳ all works are 18+ unless stated otherwise, minors DNI under any circumstances please

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➳ inbox: currently open for requests!!

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➳ abt me<3

~

  ♡=fluff  ✦=smut ✧= mature themes

Joel Miller

After Hours-

 ∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ 18+ ♡✧✦ dom dbf!joel x f!reader

Million Dollar Man

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ 18+ ♡✧✦ drabble about a handjob with joel and f!reader

Breaking the Girl

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ 18+ ✧✦ dom boyfriends boss joel x f!reader

Suck my Kiss (Breaking the Girl pt. ll)

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ coming soon (dom boyfriends boss joel x f!reader)

Javier Pena

Te deseo, cariño

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ ♡✧ javier pena (narcos) x call girl!reader

Din Djarin

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ coming soon

Lalo Salamanca

∘* ✧･ﾟ ➼ coming soon

~

18+ Drabbles

the righteous and the wicked ✦

dom raider!joel x f!reader (oral, m receiving)

soul to squeeze ✦

dbf!joel x f!reader (oral, f receiving)

[slamminslamminmcgill]

lalo subtly dipping his fingers in ketamine and then making you suck on them and he rubs the k on your gums. keeping you high and stupid so you drool and babble like an idiot while he fucks you

god i love lalo nonconsensually drugging ppl it’s so camp

[bonkwosher]

Overall Masterlist

Knives Out/Glass Onion

Benoit Blanc ◾Drunk Benoit Blanc Headcanons ◾Being Benoit Blanc's Assistant Headcanons ◾Benoit Apologizes For Being A Bad Partner (Angst?) ◾Comforting Benoit Blanc After A Stressful Day (Angst?) ◾Benoit Reacts to Reader Getting Hurt

Wednesday

Eugene Ottinger (Platonic) ◾Being Eugene's First Friend/Defending Eugene Headcanons

Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul

Lalo Salamanca x Reader x Nacho Varga (Poly!!!!) ◾First Meeting Lalo & Nacho Headcanons ◾Drunk Lalo & Nacho Headcanons Series: ◾Enemy Within Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Gus Fring ◾Gus Fring Being Jealous/Possessive Headcanons

Pedro Pascal Characters

Joel Miller ~ The Last of Us ◾Tess is jealous/Being Bill & Frank's kid -> Joel loves you ◾Drunk!Joel Miller x GN!Reader Headcanons ◾ "More Than Friends" Joel Miller x GN!Reader ▪ Sarah finds out about your relationship (Pre-outbreak) ◾Jealous/Protective Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Resident Evil Franchise

Wesker ◾Wesker x Short!GN!Reader Headcanons ◾Wesker x GN!Reader w/ a High-Pitched Voice Headcanons

Leon Kennedy ◾Leon x GN!Reader w/ a High-Pitched Voice Headcanons

Jurassic Park/World

Alan Grant ◾Reader Gets Hurt at Isla Sorna (Jurassic Park 3) ◾Angry Alan Confesses Love to Best Friend!Reader (Jurassic Park) ◾Teacher!Alan Grant x Colleague!Reader

Random Assorted

Charles Boyle | Brooklyn Nine-Nine ◾"Full Boyle" Yandere!Charles Boyle x GN!Reader

Barry Berkman | Barry ◾Curious Series Part 1 |

Frank | Abigail ◾"Our Little Secret" Old Friends to Lovers

[extraterrestrial-chihuahua]

i gave into my repressed catholic school feelings yall

I wrote a whole backstory for the Salamanca family and made it a Lalo/reader fic

I'm so sorry - anyways here's the first part/ first act I guess