#lakan x fengxian

[pizzapasta23045]

She do be getting it from her father. And maybe her mother too I'm not sure.

[yournotsolocalpharmacist]

I love him- so much.. He is insane, he acts like the whole fandom honestly.

Anyway I NEEED y’all to embrace that Fengxian doesn’t have a NOSE. She is rotting alive, a walking incoherent corpse. I’m unreasonably mad at the anime for just covering her deformity with her hair. She is SUCH A good character- and her design should reflect that even in this stage. Might make some fanart of her sometime.. I really want the gruesome parts of this story be more visually nasty. It’s such a big part of being a medical drama, honestly!!!

[alexiethymia]

a flower by any other name would taste as poisonous

A butterfly flaps its wings and a hurricane happens in a far-off place. 

In this case an old eunuch decides to take a different route from his usual one. It takes him by the Garnet Palace, where he’s just in time to stop a loving attendant from feeding an infant a spoonful of honey. Sufficiently warned, the attendant never bears the crushing weight of guilt for the rest of her life. 

The infant still dies though. It’s nothing surprising. Infants before a certain age would always be vulnerable and susceptible to natural illnesses. It is no one’s fault. 

If the child still died though, what did this change? Surprisingly, a lot. 

Eight years later a boy is crying after having a favorite toy taken from him once again. 

A girl, merely a year younger than him, asks him in a dispassionate tone where it hurts. 

Startled, the boy stops crying. Eyes shining, he looks at this girl who resembles a wood sorrel and decides she’s his new favorite. 

How is it that those two seemingly random encounters could lead to this particular scene, one resembling a painting?

On one side, an existence like a celestial nymph, voice of sweet honey, a beauty that could topple nations if he so wished.

One would think that no one could compare, and yet the beauty on the other side was not overshadowed. She was a vision no less stunning for she was once known as a top courtesan of the pleasure district. 

It was perhaps fortunate that no one was a witness to this display for no one could hope to count how many hapless victims would be felled by such visions of loveliness. 

As to what these beauties were doing, no one could have guessed for in between them stood a single Go board.

tap

tap

“I must admit that while I was expecting a visit from his Imperial highness soon, I didn’t think it would be for this.”

The celestial nymph flushed. 

“Apologies for taking some of your precious time, Feng Xian-dono.”

tap

tap

The unfettered beauty took her time deciding her next move. The man who was also called Jinshi did not fool himself into thinking it was because he was a worthy opponent. Although he was used to using his excellent looks as a weapon, why is it that before this woman he felt as if he were merely a mouse being played with? A finely sculpted brow conveyed enough with one gesture. He felt as if he were playing two games at the same time.

“And? What is so important that the Prince of the Moon felt the need to risk Lakan’s wrath to come here? Why, you even roped Lahan into this plan of yours.” The cold beauty didn’t smile but he had a sense that she was amused.

Jinshi wondered. Did he rope Lahan or did that miser rope him? It didn’t matter. Shaking his head, he hoped he was equally composed when he answered, “I must admit it was that esteemed personage’s recommendation that sent me your way. Aside from him, only you could fight on equal ground with our honored strategist.”

tap

tap

Seemingly bored but only just, such that she could not be accused of disrespecting him, his opponent continued her queries, “And? Surely, you don’t hope to best that girl at a game of Go? She has utterly no interest at the game. It’s a wonder if she takes after us at all. I often wonder how she came to be so uncute, though of course Lakan would disagree.”

Jinshi would as well. Or to be more accurate, he both agreed and disagreed. While that girl was often distant, on the whole he could not help but find her adorable.

And from the shadow of a smile he could spy on his opponent’s face, he gathered that she was much the same, and could only dote on her daughter in this roundabout way. Although parent and child both claimed no similarity, he thought in this manner you could not doubt their familial tie.

Likewise with her father, though she only had disdain for the man (not that it would stop that eccentric’s entreaties to be called Papa from happening, thought Jinshi with a shiver). He’ll leave it up to Gaoshun to commiserate. 

That wary cat only showed affection for her honored grand uncle. In much the same way, as much as she protested, she and her sire were a lot alike. There was also their utter disinterest in anyone ordinary and unexceptional.

Like him.

Any other family would have accepted just by virtue of who he was. But it mattered not to this particular family who cared not for prestige or power. This family was content to keep to itself and occupied with its members’ various obsessions. Rather than consider it an honor to be connected to the noble line of the rulers of this nation, Jinshi thought that Lakan rather saw him as some annoying fly. 

And for that annoying fly to not only buzz around his beloved daughter but also to dare be in the proximity of his beloved wife, the only two people that eccentric fawned over and adored with all his heart, ah surely this was a perilous gamble indeed. 

But for an ordinary person like Jinshi, no Ka Zui Getsu, this was the only thing he could do.

Ironic that when he wanted it most, he could not rely on this excellent appearance of his, the only thing extraordinary about him. This family cared not a whit for that. At first he had wondered why that apothecary continued to be unaffected by him, but to have someone like this for a mother, he realizes she must have already been bored by the sight. (She had actually scoffed at him after they had seen each other once again in the rear palace.)

It left him scrambling, but also strangely relieved. 

“It’s not that I want to best her. At most I hope to be on equal footing.” Slightly abashed, he shakes his head. “In truth, it is our honored strategist whom I wish to have a match with. Though it may be impossible, the Sage tells me my best hope lie with the only person to have bested the Grand Commandant more times than even him.” 

Seemingly intrigued if the slight lifting of one brow indicated such, the once courtesan inquired, “Oh? And to what end if I may ask?”

How to answer.

Grappling with something in himself, Jinshi finally admitted, “Merely to be acknowledged, I suppose. To be seen and recognized.”

To be accepted. 

By whom, his companion seemed content not to ask if the curl of her mouth was any indication.

Maomao had often complained (though she would deny it with a blank look if asked) in a bland tone that she thought she must surely be adopted by the one she called father, for surely she had no resemblance to this beauty in front of him. Chicken bones she called herself. (Incidentally, she was adamant that she was not ugly enough to be related to the fox. She was, in her own view, perfectly normal. Jinshi almost spat out his tea upon hearing this if only it wasn’t unbefitting his station.) 

But seeing what could pass for an amused look on this normally expressionless face, Jinshi for the first time in front of another great beauty, blushed for he could only see traces of the one he yearned for in this visage. 

Truly, they were mother and daughter indeed. 

He was caught in a daydream of a scene years into the future, with Maomao dressed in such finery, of when he could finally lavish her with all his attentions as he pleased. 

tap

tap

The harsh clack of the Go stones brought him back from his musings and his attention onto the board. Upon seeing how he was completely dominated, he let out a deep sigh. 

“A long way to go, your highness.”

As if echoing his thoughts, an imperious voice declared his resounding defeat. If not for the twinkle in her eye he could detect, he would no doubt feel as if he was not even worth the heel of her shoe, never mind that he was the current Imperial heir. Distantly, he wonders if this was the sight that bewitched and entrapped that eccentric so long ago. 

Privately laughing at his own folly, he decides he was no better for it was the same look from that tiny wood sorrel that sealed his fate. Flowers could heal, but they could also be poisonous. He knew better than most. No matter. Regardless of the outcome, he would swallow her whole.

Truly there was a long way to go before he could turn that dream into anything close to reality. He doesn’t mind tasting defeat again and again for the chance of victory one day. 

Once more, he resets the board.

notes:

Jinshi and the Imperial brother are still switched at birth so he still doesn’t know who he really is.

The imperial brother still dies in infancy but not so soon after his birth. Since Luomen manages to stop the honey incident, the tragedy with Aduo’s head maidservant doesn’t happen later on. He doesn’t get punished nor does he get driven out.

Because he doesn’t get driven out, Lakan isn’t pressured into a military expedition to reclaim the honor of the family. He manages to redeem Feng Xian immediately.

Lakan still somehow ends up the head since his younger brother doesn’t really see himself suited to the position. He still ends up taking the headship from his father probably because Feng Xian was insulted or something and he wants to spoil her. His father and sister-in-law probably still end up leaving on their own like in the original timeline rather than being driven away. One way or another, Maomao, Rahan and Rahan-nii end up being raised together.

Maomao is still the same. Sure, she’s raised as a noble lady but she still spends half of her life at the pleasure district with Feng Xian, her sisters and penny-pinching granny. I doubt Lakan would stop them since this isn’t a conventional family after all.

Luomen probably sneaks in town undercover to still be an apothecary for those who might need it most, with Maomao accompanying him.

Since Maomao is raised as a noble, one way or another she ends up as Jinshi’s playmate. Of course, Jinshi still ends up attached. And of course Lakan puts a stop to it as soon as he can. It doesn’t have anything to do with any political maneuvering. He’s just an overprotective papa.

Maomao still ends up in the rear palace, this time as Luomen’s apprentice so of course she ends up crossing paths with Jinshi once again when they’re older.

And so the adventures of the young prince and apothecary still continue, fates still intertwined.

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

I love them so much. My favorite ship, honestly I feel like every single ship in the series except Jinshi x maomao idk why

[eyesofanapothecarian]

Which shall I continue next ?3

[proshipear]

★ fengxian x lakan moodboard !!

requested by anon!

[cjrae]

Series: Reaction to a Reaction. Episode 24 "Jinshi and Maomao"

You made it to the finale @i-guess-im-into-this-now ! Thank you for doing these and letting me talk your ear off in the comments and reblogs.

1.) "Oh does he think Fengxian is dead? Shit. Do I need to retract some of the mean shit I said about him last time?"

Not really. I will say, though, that one of the author's strengths with her characters is writing people who feel like people. Lakan IS a selfish asshole. He's also a devoted husband and father. He's lazy and doesn't use his abilities to their fullest potential, but when roused to defend what he cares about, he is brilliant. The other characters are like this too - Basen, for example, has reasons to be as abrasive as he is, but Jinshi wouldn't keep him close in his inner circle if Basen weren't more than a surly young soldier. Jinshi has certainly grown throughout the season - remember the honey? Maomao has grown a LOT.

2.) "So he did try to come and claim Maomao at some point. And why couldn't he? Did the ladies at Verdigris House prevent him from taking her?"

Again, something the adaptation cut for time, but yes. The madam continues to drive Lakan away, especially after he catches a glimpse of Maomao with Luomen in the pleasure district and can see her face before catching sight of the twisted pinky finger and realizing that his daughter is still alive. Is it ENTIRELY fair to Lakan? Probably not - and there's an argument to be made that she could have been better off with her biological father, raised outside the very dangerous red light district as a princess of a named clan (more details from the manga/books).

But Maomao is family and the madam is not letting the man who, in her mind, destroyed Fengxian anywhere near her daughter or granddaughter. Nor does Maomao appreciate Lakan literally trying to simply take her away from Luomen.

3.) "Lakan runs, frantic, to where the singing is coming from. He enters Fengxian's room. She's turned away looking out the window, but she's singing a song that Lakan can't forget. And he's stunned. Like seeing a ghost. He's staring at a woman he thought was dead. A single tear falls down his face.

Ah shit. That's some good drama right there."

Yeah. The big romance that comes full circle this season is Lakan and Fengxian, which is why there are so many Lakan stans. People will forgive a lot in the name of a man who is so hopelessly in love for a single woman that even broken, he sees as beautiful and whole.

I think that Lakan and Fengxian's story is also meant to serve as a warning for Jinshi and Maomao. "If only you had been honest about what you wanted, you wouldn't have had to wait so long," Meimei says. They threw away potential years of happiness because neither of them could simply say, "You are the one that I choose, you are the one that I want to be with."

Jinshi and Maomao are going to have to do better on communication than these two if they're to find joy and fulfillment in each other - and believe me, that's gonna take awhile.

4.) "Cut to Jinshi watching the sunset. Is the sunset just a transition to a night scene or is it symbolic of closure in the story? We are coming to the end of not just this episode but this entire season, so a sunset is certainly appropriate."

There is literally a whole ass analysis I want to do based on the ending credits, but this scene will also serve for the short version.

As you watch the series, you can notice in the art direction how often Jinshi is framed by two devices - the vermilion pillars of the palace and admiring women. Both of them evoke the images of a cage. Jinshi is utterly trapped within the palace - and he feels it very keenly. That scene with the Emperor, he says that he'll manage the Rear Palace, and whatever else the Emperor wants because he has to if he's going to choose his own path.

Jinshi craves freedom and the second shot is him, still trapped by the pillars, gazing up at the freedom of the sky. The person who is the most trapped by the palace is the prince.

5.) "Maomao stands atop the wall of the palace, dressed in her finery, looking out to the bright city beyond. We get a glimpse of Maomao's yet unhealed leg, her freckles, her lovely courtesan's dress, her beauty. An amalgamation of all the different parts that make up Maomao. She is here to dance, as Meimei suggested. Here on the same wall where two other women have stood earlier in the season with drastically different results.

The show revisits a recurring theme from throughout the season: for women who live in a cage there are only two ways out, freedom or death."

I didn't actually pick up on the freedom/death choice until this and this is part of why I love reading your reviews. I've got my own thoughts on this scene, but for brevity, I'll just direct you to one of the analyses I already did on the subject.

6.) "Is she trying to provoke him? She gets headbutted for that one. I'm typically against physical violence, but I have to say, this seems justified. Maomao is happy about it too, because now she knows she's dealing with the real Jinshi."

Oh, she does try to provoke him, but not here.

I am going to leave you with a bit of a warning regarding violence as an exaggerated expression of emotion. This romance trope has been losing popularity in the West, but women "driving" men to violent reactions as proof of their feelings is very much alive in East Asia. (I suspect you already know this, based on some of your other fandoms I've caught glimpses of).

We actually see a LOT of violence in this first season. Maomao slapping that lady in waiting to the floor and then dragging her by the hair comes to mind - not something I'd ever accept in real life, even if Maomao's rage is justified. All the slaps and punches we see the other characters giving each other and it's completely written off - in fact it's considered slapstick humor most of the time.

All this to say that there is a scene you can easily find spoilers for in LN 5's epilogue that I can guarantee you will probably not like. (I don't actually like it all that much either). I think it's actually handled very well, but because it contains one of Jinshi's lowest moments in the entire series as well as a kiss, people mistake it for being a romantic scene. It is not - it's a knock down, drag out fight. Jinshi and Maomao are hurting each other in that scene and OH, do they hurt each other.

The author is also careful, I think, to make sure that, critically, Jinshi is a.) ashamed of his own behavior, b.) it does not get him what he wants and c.) these two factors mean that the behavior is never repeated. So there's some subversion of this particular trope, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

I'm not going to tell you what should and shouldn't be your squick, but just a warning that this scene exists and for some people it ends up breaking their suspension of disbelief. It's LN only, but the scene is important enough that a.) I don't think it'll be either skipped or softened if/when animated and b.) it has an illustration in the light novel, which is usually an indicator that something should be paid attention to.

I'm gonna leave you with one more link to another analysis I did that I hope you enjoy reading if you have time (I also have a few more of these meta planned), but I just wanted to say again how much I've enjoyed this blog!

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E24 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

If you want to start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet:

Master Shishou - Lady Loulan's father

Suirei: court lady who tried to assassinate Jinshi

Final episode of season one let's go!

Lakan: Fengxian. I wanted to be with the daughter we (she)* left behind. That was my only wish.

*There is a mismatch of the words being spoken in English dub and the English subtitles.

Oh does he think Fengxian is dead? Shit. Do I need to retract some of the mean shit I said about him last time?

We see Lakan sitting in the brothel staring at the dried rose that Maomao left for him, and the severed fingers that he treasures. He's thinking of seeing Maomao as a child

Lakan: It's natural for her to hate me, but I still wanted her close by.

So he did try to come and claim Maomao at some point. And why couldn't he? Did the ladies at Verdigris House prevent him from taking her? Did Luomen? Did Lakan ultimately decide he couldn't raise this little girl for some other reason?

Lakan: But that despicable man. I'll never forgive him for placing his hand on my daughter's shoulder three times during our match.

First of all, we are still seeing these creepy game-piece-headed nightmares in this episode. When will it end?

Second of all, I didn't notice that Jinshi was touching Maomao in the last episode. I'm fairly certain it was not shown, which to me indicates that it happened but Maomao didn't take notice of it. Is casual touch so commonplace that it doesn't warrant notice, or was she so focused on the game that it was irrelevant.

Lastly, WTH Lakan? Wasn't he the one cracking jokes about Jinshi and Maomao last episode? And, can no one in this show read the fricking room? Obviously, there is something happening between these two. I suppose Lakan has an excuse with his face blindness, but honestly I expected better from him.

Lakan: The question is how do I exact my revenge?

Well Lakan, I think you'll have to choose between your two goals of having Maomao close by and exacting revenge on Jinshi, because those two goals are in opposition. If Lakan ever wants to have a relationship with Maomao, he will have to leave Jinshi alone, because Maomao is not going to tolerate Lakan screwing with her man employer.

Granny comes to talk to Lakan about picking a courtesan. I had this all wrong apparently. I thought Maomao was intending for him to take care of her mother. It seems he can pick any courtesan that he wants.

Lakan approaches Meimei, who says she would be glad to accept, though her body language says otherwise. She opens the doors to the courtyard where Fengxian can be heard singing. Granny is not happy, but Lakan takes off running towards the sound.

Lakan: A withered flower still retains it's beauty. If that was suppose to be a message... it can't be!

So he didn't know Fengxian was alive then? Which means I can't blame him for not stepping forward to care for her in the past.

Lakan runs, frantic, to where the singing is coming from. He enters Fengxian's room. She's turned away looking out the window, but she's singing a song that Lakan can't forget. And he's stunned. Like seeing a ghost. He's staring at a woman he thought was dead. A single tear falls down his face.

Ah shit. That's some good drama right there.

Lakan picks Fengxian. He'll pay any amount. Granny can't believe this. She's not happy. It doesn't make sense. Did she forget about the history between these two?

And what was granny's role in all of this anyway? Did she give Lakan the impression that Fengxian was dead? Why would she do that? Couldn't granny have taken advantage of Lakan's interest in Fengxian and sold off the otherwise worthless Fengxian? My guess is that Fengxian hated Lakan so much at that point, that Granny thought she needed to protect her from going to him. She's not as avaricious as she would make herself seem.

Fengxian is spacing out. To get her attention, Lakan places some Go pieces in her hand. When she finally turns to him, he asks her to play a game with him, then full on ugly cries.

It's a beautiful moment. After all the problems that kept these two apart, they are finally reunited.

They play on the bed, without a board, but it seems that at least this part of Fengxian's mind remains, because she's making cleaver moves. Lakan reminisces about how they used to play and credits Fengxian for Maomao's strengths. Does she deserve that credit...

Meimei is overwhelmed. She cries. She blames Granny for keeping these two apart.

Lakan says he will buy Fengxian's contract, and when he sees her he sees her as she was in her prime. Beautiful, without the bandages or the disease, or the any of the changes that time has wrought. Does he see her this way because of his love for her, or because of his face blindness?

I wonder how much of Fengxian's mind remains. How much does she understand about what is happening? How much, if at all can she consent to this? Perhaps that is Granny's concern as well. For someone so out of their mind, and at the end of their life, I can't see what Lakan's presence can do to benefit Fengxian. Perhaps he improves her legacy, by giving her tale a nicer ending, but as far as her experience of it goes... he's too late.

This is all for Lakan's benefit. He is reunited with the woman he loved, he get's to finally buy out her contract like he wanted to so many years ago. He gets to erase some of his regrets, correct some of his miscalculations. It's a redemption for him, though a selfish one since he is the only one who benefits from it. Arguably, Verdigris House benefits as well, but he sure as hell ain't doing this for them. I could listen to an argument that he is doing this in part because he believe Maomao wants him to, but primarily, I think this is all for himself.

(I'm sorry Lakan fans. I will try harder on the rewatch to unearth some love for your dude)

Maomao is returning from the Verdigris House with ray-of-sunshine, Basan! They oversee Lady Loulan and her father conversing, and Basan calls the two of them snakes. Maomao, rightly, thinks that's a pretty dangerous thing to say. She doesn't want to lose her head just because Basan can't keep his nasty opinions to himself. And though Maomao always avoids gossip, I very much want to know what Basan knows about Lady Loulan and Master Shishou.

Maomao is dead tired, she has been working her ass off for the last month to grow those roses for the Garden Party, and now she just wants to sleep, but Basan informs her that Jinshi wants to see her first.

Jinshi: You must be tired. Maomao: Not really.

Why lie about this? My guess is that Maomao doesn't want anyone to fuss over her. Her wellbeing isn't important anyway, so why mention how she feels?

But Suiren does worry over Maomao, mentioning how much weight she's lost since the last time she saw her. Good. I'm glad to see this more obvious show of care for Maomao. I really just want everyone to love on this girl and take care of her.

Oh and she's "Xiaomao" to Suiren now too. ❤️She gets a nice big meal and is told to eat up.

Jinshi wants to know what the deal is with Maomao and her dad. Maomao explains that she doesn't hate Lakan.

Maomao: Afterall, I would not even be here if he weren't able to land his shot so to say. ... No courtesan bears a child if she doesn't want one.

And that makes a lot of sense actually. Maomao explains how women can prevent pregnancy, abort unwanted pregnancies, predict their fertility... it all points to the conclusion that Fengxian wanted to use Lakan to get pregnant.

Last episode we saw how Fengxian's plan all came crashing down by unforeseen circumstances. In her rage she cut off both her own finger as well as that of her infant.

Maomao explains to Jinshi about Lakan's face blindness. Jinshi, who has no issues with empathy, thinks that's unfortunate. Luomen was the one who told Maomao about Lakan's condition, and he also thinks the condition is quite sad. I wonder if Maomao knows that Luomen is Lakan's uncle? Maomao thinks that Lakan's obsession with her comes from the fact that she is one of the very few people whom Lakan can recognize.

Jinshi has kept a large vase of the blue roses that Maomao grew for him, because he's in love with her they were just going to be thrown out otherwise, and Maomao reflects while looking at them. She wonders if her meaning was clear enough when she sent the withered rose to Lakan.

She claims again that she doesn't hate Lakan. She's grateful to have been born and have been raised by Luomen. Jinshi pushes back, recalling her intense reaction when Lakan's name came up before.

Maomao: No offense, but you've got a lot to learn Master Jinshi.

You don't know me. Yet.

Maomao is also grateful that Lakan helped her interrupt the ceremony that would have killed Jinshi.

Maomao: It's like he had a feeling something bad was going to happen too.

Gee, almost like he knew somethin about it, or had figured it out already?

Maomao explains that Lakan doesn't need evidence to form his conclusions. He can pick up on subtleties that aren't even conscious, to use gut feelings that are rarely wrong. Maomao regrets that Lakan can't be depended on to actually act on these feelings. She believes she could have stopped Suirei from escaping if Lakan had gotten involved earlier and she would now have the secret resurrection drug that Suirei hinted at.

Maomao is jealous of Lakan. Luomen praises Lakan without caveats, something she can only wish for. Friends. I know you all think I'm too hard on Luomen, and it's probably true. And I feel compelled to say that I don't hate him or even dislike him. I know Maomao loves Luomen and he's done all he can for her. But she's still hurt by his lack of praise. It's had an effect on her emotional and psychological development.

Maomao warns Jinshi not to underestimate Lakan.

Gaoshun adds that no father wants to be disliked by their children. Okay Gaoshun, are you projecting here? Some dads are dicks, and absolutely deserve to be disliked whether they like it or not. Does Gaoshun worry that his children don't like him? Is it because Basan is his son? He really shouldn't take Basan's pissy attitude personally, he's like that with everyone!

Meimei sends a package with a beautiful shawl and news from the brothel. She hopes that Maomao will dance for her when she is bought out. Maomao actually picks up the shawl and spins around with a soft sigh. Does Maomao enjoy dancing? Something she picked up at the brothel perhaps?

Maomao seems inspired by the gift. She sits down in front of her makeup and a beautiful outfit that is on a rack in her room.

Cut to Jinshi watching the sunset. Is the sunset just a transition to a night scene or is it symbolic of closure in the story? We are coming to the end of not just this episode but this entire season, so a sunset is certainly appropriate.

Maomao stands atop the wall of the palace, dressed in her finery, looking out to the bright city beyond. We get a glimpse of Maomao's yet unhealed leg, her freckles, her lovely courtesan's dress, her beauty. An amalgamation of all the different parts that make up Maomao. She is here to dance, as Meimei suggested. Here on the same wall where two other women have stood earlier in the season with drastically different results.

The show revisits a recurring theme from throughout the season: for women who live in a cage there are only two ways out, freedom or death.

First we had seen the concubine who danced atop the wall as she waited for her lover to return and secure her release. Freedom.

Later we saw the servant girl who plunged into the moat to end her life. Death.

And now Maomao, who often walks the line between the two. Over the course of this season we've seen her struggle with both. When the servant girl died, we heard suicidal ideation from Maomao. We've also seen her ingest deadly poison. Always flirting with death, not sure if she should welcome it or fight against it.

And freedom. We've seen her at the crossroads of her life, with decisions ahead of her. Particularly, with whether she should remain in the Pleasure District or return to the Rear Palace. And Maomao struggled with freedom, caught by indecision.

In this moment, under the stars, she doesn't have to think. She's feeling. A deviation from her usual modus operandi. Perhaps with Meimei's letter she can let go of some of the turmoil from her past. Fengxian is with Lakan now, that knot that has finally been undone. Her sisters in Verdigris House are safe and happy for the moment, with hope for each of their futures. Maomao is in the Rear Palace to watch over Lady Gyokuyou and the ladies of the Jade Pavilion. And Jinshi is safe, after both an attempt on his life by Suirei and an attempt on his reputation from Lakan. So for the moment the people Maomao loves are safe, and she can stand on top of a wall and dance under the stars and just feel.

Of course the practical reason behind it is that she's practicing to make sure she remembers the steps. Meimei asked her to dance for her after all.

And Jinshi is here. It's the end of the final episode. I'd be disappointed if he didn't show up.

She's so surprised to see him, she nearly falls off the roof. Maomao... I know you are an anime girl but isn't that a little cliché...

No matter, it offers Jinshi a chance to catch her. He always will.

Jinshi: I got a report about another weird woman who was climbing up the outer wall.

It's a recurring problem in this palace.

Jinshi: You're always causing me trouble.

And you fricking love it. Shut up.

Maomao was recognized by the guard that saw her go up the wall, and the guard was wise enough to go directly to Jinshi. Of course Jinshi came himself.

Maomao explains that in the Pleasure District, that when a courtesan is bought out that it is customary for the others to dance in her honor. Ahh, so she's dancing for her mother then.

That Lakan has bought a courtesan is big news in the Pleasure District, and even in the palace. The number of lamps on the street, as well as the number of banquet days, indicate that a courtesan of the highest status was bought out, though the public never sees her. We get a glimpse of Fengxian in red. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe red is the color of wedding garments. I'm not sure if that's intentional here or not. But in any case, no one, not even me, can mistake Lakan's grand romantic gesture in treating Fengxian with so much respect.

Jinshi questions who Lakan may have bought out at the Verdigris House, and Maomao plays dumb, which is not fooling Jinshi.

Jinshi: Just who did the strategist buy out any way? Maomao: What? As if I should know. Jinshi: Yes. Without a doubt. Maomao: No matter how beautiful she is, she would never be a match for you. Jinshi: That didn't answer my question.

She doesn't want to say. And he's not going to push her. She tries to deflect, and he lets her. He once again is asking her to open up to him, and she is still saying not yet. But Jinshi never gives up on Maomao. He will simply let her have her secrets for now. But he's so steadfast in his pursuit of Maomao that the audience can have no doubt that he will continue to try.

Fengxian won't last long. She's in the end stages of her disease. Maomao reflects on how her birth affected the reputation of Verdigris House. No one spoke to Maomao about who her mother was, because Grams tried to protect that information, but Maomao discovered it anyway. Prideful Fengxian couldn't recover from the shame of her failed plans, her loss of reputation, and she always chased Maomao away. Maomao claims that none of it matters to her. She's just happy being Luomen's daughter. I don't believe she's so unaffected, but that's an issue for a future season!

Maomao's macabre fun facts are not in fact fun for Jinshi, as she explains that you can cut off the tip of your finger and that it will grow back. I'm glad she didn't lose this part of her that was taken by one parent to curse the other. Instead it grew back. She may be scarred from the experience but she is whole. A metaphor.

When Maomao collapses, Jinshi demands to know what's wrong to which Maomao rambles off a list of horrifying truths. Maomao's leg wound won't heal. It has opened up again. She didn't notice it because she has a high pain tolerance. Probably due to all the drugs she's taken. No problem, she can just plop down and stitch it right back up.

NO. That's not happening. Jinshi has fucking had it with this girl. He then picks her up and leaps. off. the. wall. It was a little hot. I'm so used to Jinshi simping and being generally uncool, that I get caught off guard when he's actually being hot. Maomao does too. Especially since he switches to a princess carry.

Maomao gets deadly serious for a moment. She stares Jinshi in the eyes, touches his face and leans in. Jinshi is thinking this is it. It's finally happening. Only for Maomao to ask if she can now have the ox bezoar. Is she trying to provoke him? She gets headbutted for that one. I'm typically against physical violence, but I have to say, this seems justified. Maomao is happy about it too, because now she knows she's dealing with the real Jinshi.

Lady Gyokuyou pays for premium so she gets front row access to her favorite romcom. Jinshi has come to see Maomao. This final interaction is just basically this whole show in a nutshell. The ladies of the Jade Pavilion are teasing Maomao, because they love her, and they know her boyfriend totally platonic employer is watching. Jinshi says something interesting has come up and he thought of Maomao, which of course peaks her curiosity. We don't get to hear what Jinshi wanted to ask of Maomao, but we get the impression that things will carry on much as they have been until we can see these beloved characters again.

The storytellers promise us a second season. So yay!

Thanks to the like 10 people who enjoyed this blog. It was very fun for me to write. Your comments, likes and reblogs gave me life.

I loved getting to know these characters and trying to get inside their heads. The characters are so well written, and the plot is so big and juicy. There seems to be no end to the layers of the story. It's truly fantastic.

The Apothecary Diaries is a new favorite of mine now, and since I've made it to the end of this season, I'm looking forward to not having to scroll past JinMao content on my feed to avoid spoilers!

I haven't decided if I should hold out for more of the show and continue to watch it with fresh eyes like I did for this blog, or if I should just jump into the light novels or manga. Does anyone know, are both of those things complete with a good English translation?

This won't be my last content for The Apothecary Diaries. I'm known to compulsively shit post in the fandoms I follow, so I'm sure I won't be able to resist doing that. But, perhaps once I've had some time to think on this I will have some more meta analysis to offer. I do plan to rewatch the entire season. Though I won't reblog to this degree, I may jump back in the comments on some of these blogs and add some new insights.

If you like this kind of thing and want me to do it for another one of your favorites let me know! My recommendations box is ever open. I love any kind of engaging story, in any format, and am happy (unable to stop myself) to post about it on the internet! Just tell me what you love and where to start.

Until then I guess I'm into this now.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

[pizzapasta23045]

I love how Lakan is weirdly just sucha wife guy like he appears in the ln4 and brags about his wife beating him in a match and NOBODY FUCKING CARES. He like tries to hand them the fucking transcript of the match and doesn't take no for an answer until they agree.

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

I need some good content for fengxian x lakan already. There is fan art and stuff but I don’t see a lot of it.

Come on, I need some GOOD food.

[cjrae]

Series: Reaction to a Reaction. Episode 23, "Balsam and Woodsorrel."

@i-guess-im-into-this-now, wasn't this a f***ed up episode?

1.) "So the box that Maomao requested was a game. The English dub just calls it Chess, but I think it's called Shogi or the Chinese equivalent. Please correct me if I'm wrong."

You're not wrong. Shogi is actually the Japanese form of this game. Chinese "chess" is called Xianqi, although there's been so much drift between East Asia, it's honestly close enough. Hence the English translation of chess.

I looked it up for this episode, because I was curious which piece Lakan sees Jinshi as. Jinshi is the Advisor/General, which is somewhat equivalent to the queen in western chess. It has the greatest flexibility on the board, but it's sole job is to protect the king. Someone on Reddit who knows Shogi way better than I did has an analysis if that interests you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/KusuriyaNoHitorigoto/comments/1bgp26q/explaining_some_details_in_ep_23and_appreciation/

2.) "Lakan learns that Maomao is still under contract to work for Jinshi, and he makes a rude implication that has Jinshi grinding his molars.

And I think this is kind of weird. Just what does Lakan think or feel about his daughter?"

The way I interpreted this bit was that, if Maomao is under contract, then there are always ways to break a contract - and Lakan has the power and connections to pursue that kind of early contract termination should he win. Considering how Jinshi has been using that contract to keep Maomao away from Lakan, it's essentially a weakness in Jinshi's defenses that Lakan is letting him know that he sees and is prepared to take advantage of to secure what he wants.

As for what Lakan thinks and feels about his daughter, you'll get a bit more of that in the finale.

3.) "So did Lakan know it was alcohol when he decided to drink it or did he think it tasted bad because of the medicine Maomao added? Either way, he agreed to the terms of the game and he has now lost the bet. Maomao never had to beat him at chess, she only had to risk drinking poison with a straight face which is an everyday activity for Maomao. Lakan lost the moment he agreed to play by Maomao's rules."

We know from Jinshi's reaction that the smell of the alcohol is quite strong, so my guess is that Lakan recognizes what the bet actually is long before Jinshi and Gaoshun do, simply because they're missing the context that Lakan is a lightweight. We do see that pause as Maomao is explaining her first term, indicating that Lakan is taking in all of the information.

Also, in an episode that's all about Maomao's parents' backstory, this moment does a brilliant job in showing the audience just how much she's inherited from both of her birth parents. She knows she can't beat him at chess, so she uses the game to lure Lakan into a trap that he can't escape, because she herself is the bait. And, like Fengxian, she's willing to make risky bets when she feels she needs to.

4.) "I do understand that Lakan's inability to recognize faces affects his ability to connect with other people, but wow, that's a whole lot different than viewing them as pawns you can manipulate for fun. I'm sure he was a brilliant strategist for the military, but the fact that he delighted in it, demonstrates his lack of humanity."

A lot of the discourse I see surrounding Lakan revolves around his disability and discussions of autism and neurodivergence. I think it's interesting that you recognize just how chilling and dangerous this makes Lakan in a sequence that is designed to humanize him.

And I think it does, to an extent. Lakan is doing his best with the hand he's been dealt. Better than he learn to assign chess pieces and go stones to people so that he can function instead of bumbling around, completely blind to the world around him. But, as you note, in his particular case, it means that if you do not personally interest him, he just doesn't care. Talk about a truly neutral character - and a sad one, because just as he places the human chess pieces where they need to go, it means that he himself can also be played by someone more ruthless than him.

5.) "...I do think is likely, however, Maomao's view of motherhood is perhaps not too different than Fengxian's. That a woman can never be a mother in the Pleasure District may be a common belief, but it isn't universal, because we saw the princesses, Pairin in particular, step up to fill the mother's role for Maomao."

There's one more person who stepped up to take on that role, and the anime downplays it a bit - the madam. I'll actually go into a little more detail as I get further through your reaction, because this is something the anime cut a bit for time, but it's significant I think in why the madam has been keen to bring Maomao under the wing of the Verdigris House.

6.) "Do these two care about each other at all or is it just that they don't express it? I have my doubts."

Whatever else, this scene is designed to imply that Maomao was conceived in love, despite the tragedy that followed. If nothing else, Maomao is not a product of rape or coercion of any kind.

7.) "Wow. Okay. So Luomen is Lakan's uncle. I didn't see that coming. So there are blood ties between Maomao and Luomen."

You can see how some of the ties between Maomao and Jinshi have been set up from the very beginning - Luomen is dismissed from his post because of the loss of Ah-Duo's child, because his time and attention was monopolized by the Empress Dowager's child. This directly leads to Lakan's banishment by his father and Fengxian's situation - and later, Luomen arrives, not just in the pleasure district, but to Verdigris House. Maomao always laments Luomen's bad luck, but I wonder if he feels the same way. He lost his position and reputation, sure, but he gained a daughter. Maomao makes it clear that Luomen OUGHT to have a healthy income with his profession, but instead he stays close to the pleasure district to help the courtesans, including Fengxian who he's clearly been treating since the syphilis reoccurred.

8.) "What the fuck did Fengxian do? I suppose that this explains the nightmare Maomao had when she saw her mother with a knife. Does this have something to do with Maomao's twisted little finger? Did her finger get chopped off and reattached?"

It's called yubikiri and it's a traditional curse. Of two people who make a promise, if one breaks it, the other one cuts off their pinky finger, indicating Fengxian's rage that Lakan never came for her. Worse, she sent him Maomao's pinky too - we see the desiccated stumps fall into Lakan's hand when he opens the pouch when he finally arrives home and checks his mail.

I'm sure there are others out there who would bring up postpartum depression and anxiety developing into full blown psychosis, which given the medical mysteries the show leans into, seems like a fair analysis. But it seals Fengxian's fate - she can never be a mother to Maomao - because in order for her and the baby to eat, she has to support them both; and this time, not as a high end courtesan who doesn't take men to her bed, but with night work because what she did didn't just affect her, it dragged the reputation of the Verdigris House down as well.

9.) "We get to see granny beating Lakan with a broom. She accuses him of not caring about a worthless courtesan and tells him that she's gone...l get that things fell apart while he was gone, but Fengxian is still alive at this point."

So, here's where the adaptation made a different choice and I think it's to the detriment of the scene. Originally the madam tells Lakan that Fengxian is dead, not gone. That scene in the rain is supposed to be Lakan realizing that both the woman he loved and the child they made are dead and it doesn't matter how sorry he is, because of his carelessness, they're both gone.

While it's never outright stated, it's heavily implied that with the madam's intense rage at Lakan combined with Fengxian having been born in the brothel, that the madam is Maomao's maternal grandmother.

Essentially, this is the family business - and the madam wants to ensure that her granddaughter has a trade to fall back on, especially if she thinks she can make Maomao into a high class courtesan who doesn't need to take on night work. This was probably the original path Fengxian was on - and she was on the precipice of being bought out and becoming someone's wife (which, could have potentially sucked, but it would have been respectable and secure), when she blew everything up by taking a risk to try to be with the man she wanted.

10.) "My opinion on Lakan still stands, even if Lakan loves Fengxian, and Maomao, and has been doing all he can to get back to them, he's still a shitty guy that seems to lack basic empathy. Like, he will only treat someone as a person if he is personally invested? I can't like a person like that."

You and Maomao both. Look at Luomen, the man Maomao actually claims as her father. You may not be a fan of his teaching methods, but she is absolutely secure in her attachment to him. He is shown to be a man who will give to others to the detriment of himself out of kindness, because to Luomen all people are worth care from the lowest streetwalker to the Empress herself.

Yeah. I agree with your hot take. LN 11's English translation is actually coming out this month for those of us using Kindle rather than a subscription to J-Novel club, but there's a snippet of Jinshi's perspective of Lakan's character that I think perfectly exemplifies what you're thinking. If you decide you don't mind some much later material out of context, message me and I'll send you the text.

11.) "The rose Maomao left for Lakan is dried. From an earlier time perhaps. Maybe blue roses were a tradition at Verdigris House or something that Fengxian knew the secret to. Perhaps the the blue rose simply represents Fengxian, and Maomao gifts it to Lakan to represent the meaning behind her bet, I'm giving Fengxian to you. There is a secondary meaning here that I don't know the meaning of. But Lakan does."

One of the other comments on the previous episode mentioned that specifically in anime, blue roses represent the unobtainable, because they're not found in nature.

But the biggest clue to this scene is when Meimei tells Lakan "even a withered rose retains it's shape."

I need to bang out my Lakan analysis, but in short, Lakan's crime isn't malice in Maomao's eyes, it's carelessness.

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E23 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

If you want to start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/location cheat sheet

Fengxian: Maomao's courtesan mother

The show opens on Maomao's mother, who is in the late stages of her illness, delusional, softly singing a lullaby while moving around some Go pieces. Is she thinking of the past? The lover that she lost, or the baby that she had?

So the box that Maomao requested was a game. The English dub just calls it Chess, but I think it's called Shogi or the Chinese equivalent. Please correct me if I'm wrong. She challenges Lakan to a competition, who is giddy with delight. They will play best out of 5, no handicaps, and they call their prize before they begin.

Lakan: If I manage to best you. I want you to come and live with me.

Jinshi does NOT like that. Gaoshun reminds him that he promised not to interfere, but Lakan can't take his girl! Don't worry yet Jinshi, Maomao wouldn't be so bold if she didn't think she could win this bet. Have faith!

Lakan learns that Maomao is still under contract to work for Jinshi, and he makes a rude implication that has Jinshi grinding his molars.

And I think this is kind of weird. Just what does Lakan think or feel about his daughter? I don't know if he truly believes that there is something amorous going on between Maomao and Jinshi, but he's totally fine with implying that there is. They are talking about her contract here, and the implication that is being made is that Jinshi bought out Maomao's courtesan contract so that he could bring her to his house to service him solely. We the viewer know it's not true, and Lakan may have been able to pick up enough clues to realize it's not true, but still his joke is a weird one for a father to make. Is it just to get under Jinshi's skin? Or is it possible that he believes his daughter is truly acting as a courtesan? We know that Lakan has had dealings with courtesans in the past, and I'm glad he doesn't seem to have any prejudice against them and the work they do. Yet. I kind of thought maybe his whole reason for wanting to get Maomao to come live with him, was that he was trying to protect her from that work. Am I missing something here? Because it seems that's not the case. So if he doesn't want Maomao for her own sake, then he wants her for his own purposes. Which are??? Use her as another piece to maneuver? That doesn't seem quite right either, since she is the only one he doesn't see as a game piece. I don't know what this indecipherable man wants.

Maomao on the other hand wants Lakan to buy out an aging courtesan from the Verdigris House. Her delirious mother I assume. If that's her goal... is it really a good idea to put Maomao's mother into Lakan's care? Is he going to take care of her? It seems like if he intended to take care of her, he would have already stepped forward to do so. I know Maomao doesn't care about her mother, but she does take care of her when she visits the Verdigris House. Surely she wouldn't entrust any person to Lakan if she thought he would be a neglectful caregiver. I guess I just have to trust that Maomao knows these people better than I do, because this to me seems like a bad idea all the way around.

Maomao also adds a drinking element to the game, that includes poison. Also, if someone quits for any reason, they lose.

Lakan and Maomao are relaxed as they play, but Jinshi is worried. He doesn't like the terms or the rules of this game. Maomao loses the first round and is forced to drink, and Jinshi is the one sweating it. When she loses the second match, Jinshi starts to panic.

Lakan doesn't want to risk that Maomao might be poisoned by drinking a third cup, so he throws a game to drink one. If he drinks one that contains poison than he will know that Maomao is safe to lose her third game.

The cup that Lakan drinks from is poisoned, and he is not tolerating it well. Actually, the alcohol is far worse for Lakan than any medicine that Maomao may have added. Lakan famously abstains, and has no tolerance for alcohol. It's why he carries fruit juice with him everywhere.

So did Lakan know it was alcohol when he decided to drink it or did he think it tasted bad because of the medicine Maomao added? Either way, he agreed to the terms of the game and he has now lost the bet. Maomao never had to beat him at chess, she only had to risk drinking poison with a straight face which is an everyday activity for Maomao. Lakan lost the moment he agreed to play by Maomao's rules.

The show takes us back to see a young Lakan. He has hardcore face blindness, which makes for some very disturbing animation. Since he couldn't connect with people he devoted his time to playing Go and Chess. His uncle encourages him to identify people as chess pieces. His family name gets him a military position and Lakan tells us the following.

Lakan: Of all the games I've played. Chess with human pieces was the most fun I've ever had.

Chilling.

Lakan's inability to view people's humanity is frightening. Dangerous. A person without empathy. It's no wonder Maomao wants nothing to do with this man.

I do understand that Lakan's inability to recognize faces affects his ability to connect with other people, but wow, that's a whole lot different than viewing them as pawns you can manipulate for fun. I'm sure he was a brilliant strategist for the military, but the fact that he delighted in it, demonstrates his lack of humanity.

We learn that a courtesan named Fengxian from Verdigris House easily trounced Lakan in a game of Go. Finally he can see a human face. For years they played Go or Chess, slowly getting to know one another while they play.

Fengxian: A woman did give birth to me, but I have no mother. Because in the Pleasure District, a woman can never be a mother.

A pretty clear description of Fengxian's views on motherhood. If she maintained this view when she had her own daughter, then we can understand just what Maomao might have been dealing with. Also, didn't Maomao say something similar when she described Fengxian as the woman who birthed her?

Maomao: Maybe it's love. But if that's the case. It's not a rabbit hole I want to delve into. That's an emotion I'm sure I left behind. Back in the womb of the woman who birthed me. (Episode 18)

At the time I wrote that comment off to be because Maomao had experienced neglect, abuse or abandonment from her mother, which I do think is likely, however, Maomao's view of motherhood is perhaps not too different than Fengxian's. That a woman can never be a mother in the Pleasure District may be a common belief, but it isn't universal, because we saw the princesses, Pairin in particular, step up to fill the mother's role for Maomao.

Maomao has trash parents, but lovely found family.

Lakan tells us that Fengxian's price increased as she became more in demand. From then Lakan could rarely afford to meet with Fengxian.

Upon one visit Lakan learns that someone has bought out Fengxian's contract. She seems disappointed that she won't be able to meet with Lakan again. She makes a bet with him, with the highest stakes possible. Whoever wins, can take whatever they want from the other.

Lakan: Quite suddenly, a terrible thought crossed my mind.

He's thinking about that notorious way to lower the value of a courtesan isn't he? Just what is it that Fengxian wants from Lakan, I wonder? She has to know that he can't afford her contract. Could it be that she also wants to lower her value to avoid being bought out by someone else?

Lakan chooses to play Go, which we remember from an earlier episode that he could never defeat her in. Did he do this to give her the chance to ask something of him? To prevent himself from following through on that terrible thought that crossed his mind?

He does recognize that it's not right to impregnant a woman to lower her value. Is this because he has real feelings for Fengxian or that he simply acknowledges that it's manipulative? Does he think it's terrible because he would have to take responsibility for a child that is born this way? Or is it just terrible because time in bed would be a waste when they could be playing board games?

They never make it to the end of the game. Instead they sleep with each other and Fengxian tells Lakan that she wants to keep playing Go. She, like Lakan, likely has trouble connecting with other people. That they are well matched in intellect is like seeing another human for the first time. Everyone else is beneath them, not even human.

I'm convinced now that this was a tactical move from both of them. After all, Fengxian dismissed Meimei before they even started playing. Win or lose she was counting on sleeping with Lakan.

Lakan: There were no sweet words offered from Fengxian, nor from me for that matter. So in a way you could say we had similar natures.

Do these two care about each other at all or is it just that they don't express it? I have my doubts.

As Lakan is drifting off to sleep Fengxian sings a song, which I can only assume is the same one she tried to hum the day Maomao was in the annex to care for her. It is the same song from earlier in this episode where we see her in the present day playing with Go pieces on her bed. So her present day delusions are all about returning to this time which was the best period of her life. Before she had a baby, Before she cause syphilis, and everything fell apart.

But what is with singing the song in the past? I dipped into the Japanese with English sub to check the faithfulness of the translation:

Sleep, my baby, sleep. Where is she? She cries. Little birds are so innocent. Off they fly to somewhere far.

I'm not the best at interpreting poetry, so maybe someone else can help me with these lyrics. On it's surface it seems like a typical lullaby, but it could be taken as being about a loss of innocence since the innocent little birds fly away. Or perhaps since the birds leave, it could be about a desire for freedom? Both meanings could apply to Fengxian in this moment.

Wow. Okay. So Luomen is Lakan's uncle. I didn't see that coming. So there are blood ties between Maomao and Luomen.

In a fit of embarrassment and anger at Luomen's exile, Lakan's father also sends Lakan abroad. Fengxian's contract fell through and she made sure to alert Lakan, but it's not something he can deal with before his trip. It seems he intended to return to her, but it took three years before he could finally come back. He is greeted by a pile of letters. And a desiccated severed finger. A way to curse someone apparently. And there are two fingers there, a tiny one as well. What the fuck did Fengxian do? I suppose that this explains the nightmare Maomao had when she saw her mother with a knife. Does this have something to do with Maomao's twisted little finger? Did her finger get chopped off and reattached?

Fengxian took a chance when she decided to sleep with Lakan, and it destroyed her life. She ended up pregnant, which may have been okay, if Lakan had been there to buy her out when her value crashed. She was counting on him, and he wasn't there. It wasn't his fault, I think he would have bought her out if he was there, but the timing of everything was catastrophic for Fengxian. I suppose she didn't know he was out of the country, and her hatred grew, hence the finger severing curse. With that level of hatred I suppose it means she must have cared about Lakan, or perhaps she's just pissed that her plan fell through.

Lakan feels like a dumbass, which for a narcissist like him, is really saying something. He was so focused on playing Go and Chess that he didn't try to think of other ways to solve Fengxian and his problems, like impregnating her. Huh? Okay, I had that pegged wrong earlier. So then he must have thought his one night together with Fengxian was something special.

We get to see granny beating Lakan with a broom. She accuses him of not caring about a worthless courtesan and tells him that she's gone. She lost all of her value after being pregnant, and her actions hurt the reputation of the brothel. She had to take clients like a streetwalker where she contracted syphilis.

Lakan is too late to get what he wants from Fengxian. His fantasy with the high class courtesan ended when she lost her value and reputation. Now she is in a dire state, disgraced, diseased. So Lakan is distressed, but... fuck this guy.

l get that things fell apart while he was gone, but Fengxian is still alive at this point. She has a disease, but presumably she won't lose her mental capabilities until later down the line. He could still play Go with her. And even if she had lost her mind, fuck this guy! Does he really not care at all about her because of the things that have happened to her? He has zero capacity for actual love, like a psychopath. Many people become caregivers to the people they love when they become incapacitated. Only the shittiest walk away. Fengxian lost her reputation, her value, and her health, and Lakan is upset that she no longer fits into the perfect vision he had of her. Like seriously. FUCK. THIS. GUY!

I realize this is a HOT TAKE. And I stand ready to be corrected. But based on all I have seen thus far, Lakan is still a pretty shitty dude. I saw someone mention in a comment on one of these blogs about Lakan stans. At the time I thought to myself how the hell are there Lakan stans? It made me think that there was probably more to his story than I had seen up to that point. Well here is more, but it wasn't enough to make me like this character.

I could probably be convinced that he had real feelings for Fengxian, but then where the hell has he been all these years? Is it that Fengxian hated him and didn't want to see him? That she sent him severed fingers in an attempt to curse him would support that.

My opinion on Lakan still stands, even if Lakan loves Fengxian, and Maomao, and has been doing all he can to get back to them, he's still a shitty guy that seems to lack basic empathy. Like, he will only treat someone as a person if he is personally invested? I can't like a person like that.

Back to the present time, Lakan wakes up in Verdigris House and Meimei kindly tends to him. Apparently after he forfeited his game with Maomao by blacking out drunk, he was deposited here to fulfill his end of the bargain.

Is the fact that Fengxian's illness has progressed to delusions now allowed her to forget about her hatred of Lakan? She was seen tying to play Go and singing an old lullaby in the beginning; is she thinking fondly of old times? Does Maomao think now that Fengxian is more out of her mind, she would be willing to see Lakan? Regardless, she's about to end up with him now.

Maomao concocted a bitter beverage for Lakan and gifts him a dried blue rose. Maomao's message: leave the people I care about alone.

After all, Lakan requested blue roses from Jinshi, a nearly impossible thing for him to procure. Maomao made it happen because she didn't want to let Lakan get away with trying to manipulate Jinshi. The roses were all a ploy to draw Maomao out, which it did, but only for her to defend Jinshi and send a message to Lakan to back off.

The rose Maomao left for Lakan is dried. From an earlier time perhaps. Maybe blue roses were a tradition at Verdigris House or something that Fengxian knew the secret to. Perhaps the the blue rose simply represents Fengxian, and Maomao gifts it to Lakan to represent the meaning behind her bet, I'm giving Fengxian to you. There is a secondary meaning here that I don't know the meaning of. But Lakan does.

Cut to Maomao riding in a carriage with the always cheery Basan, where she pulls out a blue rose bud. Is this the bud she helped grow and create for the Garden Party or a dried one from the past? Is she thinking about whatever connection the blue rose has to her mother or is she thinking about what she did to grow these roses for Jinshi? Is she hoping that her message to Lakan will be enough to protect Jinshi and anyone else he may target? Enough to get Lakan out of her life?

I truly hope that this is the last episode with Lakan's POV. I hope to never see these faceless animations ever again.

If you want to read these from the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Coming Soon!

[proshipear]

hihi! requests are now closed, thanks again for requesting ^u^

[🍐] ... Inbox Check!

– vash the stampede x wolfwood moodboard.

– yurio x chris moodboard. [!] (no source provided, please specify the source or I won't be able to do it!)

– spongebob x squidward moodboard.

– rukia kuchiki x chad moodboard.

– fengxian x lakan moodboard.

– lishu x bassen moodboard.

– maomao x lakan moodboard.

– komomo moodboard.

– mauga x maximilien moodboard.

– kenjaku selfship moodboard.

[proshipear]

Hello, would it be possible for a fengxian x lakan Moodboard from the apothecary diaries? With themes of missing each other, waiting patiently, iPhone text messages, lovecore and an emphasis on love distance relationship. Ty! ❤️

heyoo, thank you for the request! I must say that this anime style is gorgeous, all the characters look very pretty.

I hope you like your moodboard! you can find it right here.

[mylove-iv]

⠀𐔌 . ⋮ balsam flowers and plum blossoms .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

ʚ general! scaramocuche x fem, courtesan! reader ɞ

synopsis: having been forced to leave his clan temporarily, kunikuzushi assists the heir apparent of liyue in a upcoming border conflict. while there, like a balsam flower blooming in the early fall's frost, your rosy lips and dusty rouge eye make-up draws him in. in a game of go, the unbeatable inazuman tactician finally tastes defeat at your hands.

genres: romance, mild smut, slight angst.

rating: mature, 18+ (mdni).

content warnings: indirect mentions of war, implied smut, mentions of pleasure houses (but reader doesn't really partake), unclear timeskips.

reader specifications: reader is detailed to wear red eyeshadow and red lipstick, it's also noted that reader has long enough hair to pin back.reader is also called 'xiyue' but it is merely an alias.

word count: 2.79k

author's note: this fic is heavily inspired by fengxian and lakan from the apothecary diaries and reader's make-up and attire is based off of fengxian's ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

‎‧₊ ─ masterlist .ᐟ ༘

Scaramouche’s eyes linger on the letter sent from his mother, the current head of the Raiden clan and he’s too irritated to roll his eyes at her nagging. 

“Throwing me out to accomplish big feats for the glory of the clan,” He sarcastically snarls. “My ass.”

Shaking his head, he tosses the piece of parchment into the fireplace in his temporary office Xiao had provided him, opening the balcony doors before he gazes at Liyue’s bustling streets. 

“General Scaramouche,” Heizou Shikanoin remarks from the other side as the said man’s eyes flit over to his direction.

“Enter.”

“Blessings to the moon of the Inazuman empire,” Heizou murmurs the greeting addressed to the heir apparent of Inazuma.

Handing the general the documents, Scaramouche simply skims over its contents, removing the unimportant ones before waving his hand dismissively. 

Recalling a certain albino haired man, Heizou puts in, “Y’know, I heard of a courtesan that’s unbeaten in Go.”

He inwardly grins as he catches the glimmer of curiosity in Scaramouche’s dark blue eyes. 

“Unbeaten, huh?” Scaramouche simpers haughtily, placing the documents down, interest blooming within him.

“Where?”

“The Yuanfen House in the Red-Light District,” Scaramouche’s nose crinkles ever so slightly before he’s motioning Heizou to the door.

As they make their way to the aforementioned district beneath the starry night of Liyue, Scaramouche can’t help but question, “Who mentioned this to you?”

It's at his words does Heizou chuckle, “Who else besides Kazuha? He’s mentioned repeatedly about how you’re such a shut-in.” Scaramouche glares at his friend causing Heizou to burst out laughing.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

After speaking to the Yuanfen owner, Lihua, the detective motions Scaramouche to a table at the upper levels of the pleasure house.

“Who am I to meet?” It’s a simple and blunt question as he seats himself, his indigo eyes landing on the Go board placed on the table.

Heizou stands at the sidelines, a little ways away from his lord. “The Balsam Flower Maiden of the Yuanfen House, Xiyue is what the owner called her.” His answer is satisfactory as Scaramouche recalls the meaning of each character.

Joyous, rare. He shakes his head as he sets up his black Go stones, rolling them in his palm as he waits for his opponent.

Before long, he hears the rustle of silk fabrics and the soft chimes of metal and beaded hair pins but Scaramouche doesn’t bother looking up.

“You first.” He mutters absentmindedly, fingers tapping quietly against the table.

Scaramouches eyes move from the wide Yuanfen House doors exposing the people walking by to the Go board. He hears a soft hum and more people crowd around him and the courtesan.

It was bound to stir attention: the unbeaten courtesan of the Yuanfen House and the formidable Inazuman tactician and general exchangig calculated blows in a game of Go.

As the courtesan places her white Go stone on the board, a hint of a soft red hue catches his eyes.

Without skipping a beat, Scaramouche is quick to place his own stone, his twilight blue eyes latching on the courtesan’s red tinted nails.

She’s good. He muses, eyeing her abrupt and unexpected moves. But she’s a mere frog in a well.

Soon, he immerses himself in the match, finding himself entertained by her moves and playing style.

But that amusement is quickly shut down as his eyes assess the board. Murmurs from the audience fill his ears much to his annoyance.

I lost. Scaramouche thinks simply, but as he looks at the board further, he realizes he was corner masterfully, having utterly beaten him.

When was the last time I lost this badly? He questions, pursing his lips in mild indignation.

Letting out a quiet sigh, his indigo eyes finally look up and he meets beautiful e/c eyes that seem to sparkle.

With a rosy hue dusted on the outer corners of your eyes and red painted lips, Scaramouche finds himself frozen—captivated almost.

Eyes defiant, and like the smell of the balsam flower that surrounds you, your resinous eyes held a sweet gaze.

Swallowing thickly, Scaramouche composes himself as he gestures for another match of Go, not only captivated by your beauty but your way with the game as well.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Nights thereafter, Scaramouche always finds himself at the doors of the Yuanfen House, consistently buying all your time for the night, barring any man from seeing you.

He ignores Heizou’s smug grin and Kazuha’s faint smile, choosing your company over theirs, finding the silence between you comfortable and serene, the faint smell of balsam flowers sticking to you sweet and addicting.

Game after game, many nights since he’s first fought you in the game of Go, was he able to finally learn of your true name.

Y/n.

Scaramuche finds it pleasant and sweet, rolling off his tongue like honey easily compared to the name Lihua had bestowed upon you—Xiyue.

But as night bleeds into day and day into night, he gradually gets to know you as you do with him. Soon he learns of your past, how you were born in the pleasure house you now serve.

Regardless of such an odd environment to raise a child in, you muse how Lihua was kind enough to provide an education for you and allow you to retain your purity.

Scaramouche hums, placing his dark stone on the board before his eyes flit over to gaze at you.

Pools of indigo trace your face, studying how your long lashes flutter against the apples of your cheeks, eyes dusted with a red hue, lips tinted south rouge as the rosy plum blossom flower painted on your forehead seems to highlight your beauty even more.

As beautiful as a balsam flower. He finds the thought at the very forefront of his mind.

Your eyes flicker up, meeting his and he spares the board a glance before looking up at you once more, meeting your gaze.

Scaramouche finds himself breathless at the sight of you before him, at your beauty and your intelligence, having bested him once more in Go.

“Scara?” You hum softly and he revels in how your voice seems sweeter when calling for him.

Like a clockwork, his true name tumbles from his lips as his eyes trace your lips. “Kuni.”

“Hm?”

“Kunikuzushi is my real name.” He states simply before collecting your white stones and placing them in your bowl, collecting his soon after.

You smile endearingly as your cheeks redden subtley and he finds himself speechless, the words on his tongue suddenly dying. “Well then, shall we play another game of Go, Kuni?”

His heart aches at how sweetly you say his name and like the fumbling, lovesick fool he is, he nods silently, not trusting his words.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Despite the looming threat of the border conflict plaguing Xiao and Liyue, Scaramouche is quick to finish his paperwork, assigning Inazuman soldiers to the forefront of Liyue’s west border to help aid the young heir.

Yet regardless of the stress and tension between the higher-ups, Kunikuzushi keeps visiting you night after night, buying you for the entire night.

He feels a swell of pride as he catches your eyes twinkle brightly when you see him enter your chambers.

“Miss me?” Kunikuzushi teases, a smug grin on his face as you bite back a smile.

“Says the man who repeatedly buys me out night after night.” You retort as you eye the Go board he places on your table.

“Go? Aren’t you tired of me beating you?”

“Hah?” Kunikuzushi snaps, his words having no heat as all as he resists the urge to grin. “Just you watch, love.”

You smile shyly and his heart skips a beat. “Bring it on, Kuni.” You chime playfully as your fingers place your white stone on the board.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Coming from the Jade palace after discussing battle plans and preparations with Xiao, Kunikuzushi’s keen ears catch wind of your price hiking up steadily.

Choosing to brush off such things, he tosses the bag of mora on the counter before making his way to your chambers, his feet carrying him along the familiar path.

Entering, he sees you painting your nails with balsam flower paste. Your eyes catch his and he knows his own soften exponentially.

He’s unfamiliar and clumsy with such longing blooming in his chest and so, he turns to one of the few things he’s keenly familiar with.

“Go?”

You smile but he catches that it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

As your game continues, Kunikuzushi eyes you softly and he’s beginning to understand that there’s something amiss simmering in your eyes.

He’s quick to place his stone after you had just done so, but your hand lingers, fingers caressing his before you’re lacing your hand with his. Kunikuzushi’s eyes quickly snap to yours and he’s taken off guard with the raw emotions swirling through them.

Swallowing thickly, he tugs you towards him, his lips descending on yours—sweet and desperate—as your fingers tangle themselves in his midnight blue locks.

Kunikuzushi quickly loses himself in your lips, your touch, your taste as he finds himself addicted, yearning for more. Your hands tug at his clothes as his own slide your silken garments off your shoulders, his hands easily plucking out your hair pins before they wander all over your body, squeezing gently.

Pulling away for air, you pant hotly against his lips. And before he knows it, his hand cups the nape of your neck, bringing your lips against his once more.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Kunikuzushi kisses your lips, pulling back as he gazes at you, his heart clenching at the sad, glossy look in your eyes.

He hovers over you, yet with his hands interlaced pinning your own to the silken sheets, Kunikuzushi squeezes your hands three times.

A message, a reminder, an unspoke phrase he’s yet to say.

“What’s with the faraway gaze in your eyes?” He murmurs softly as your lips tremble.

“My price is hiking up and Lihua is tempted to sell me.” It’s a broken whisper and Kunikuzushi dives down gently, kissing your lips hard as his knee settles between your bare thighs, your hands squeezing his.

“Don’t think of them while I’m here with you,” His words are breathy against your lips as he moves his hand to gently hold the nape of your neck, his other hand hooking behind your knee as he raises your leg.

“You’re mine, Y/n, and I won’t let any bastard have you.” His words are quiet but you can catch the underlying heat lining his words.

Your heart feels full as you gaze at the alluring man hovering above you. Pursing your lips in nervousness, you cup his face with your newly freed hands, forcing his dark indigo eyes to fly to yours.

Pulling him closer, your noses nuzzle against each other as your lips ghost over his. Your hand trails to his back, fingers gently tracing his spine as your thumb caresses his cheek.

Beautiful. You think to yourself.

He shudders at your motions and his dark blue eyes seem to become more half-lidded, pooling with lust and longing.

“I love you, Kuni.” You confess quietly, breath glossing over his lips and before you know it, he’s slamming them against your lips as you tangle your hand in his dark tresses.

He’s everywhere; his scent and touch driving you insane, dizzying yet so addicting.

Reluctantly pulling away for air, Kunikuzushi’s eyes seem dazed and drunken-like as he attempts to catch his composure. But with you, bare and ready for him beneath him, he finds it hard to focus.

His heart swells as it feels like it’s overflowing with warmth. He gazes at you sweetly as he thumbs the edge of your kiss-bitten lips, the look in his eyes tugging at your heart.

Kunikuzushi loses himself in your heat as your eyes close in pleasure. His hand gently squeezes yours once, twice—thrice.

“I love you,” He kisses you as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I am yours, Y/n.”

He murmurs against your lips, utterly addicted. “Always.”

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Kunikuzushi wakes up in the dead of night, his eyes tracing your serene features as he pulls you flush against him, his heart thrumming at the feeling of your bare skin against his.

His fingers gently trace the slope of your cheek before his hand cups your cheek. Your eyes sleepily flutter open and the look on his face sends your heart racing.

He places his forehead against yours, noses nuzzling against each other as your eyes close. “I am to leave for the front lines.” Kunikuzushi whispers quietly as your hands interlace with his, squeezing gently in worry.

Squeezing your hand once, twice, thrice—a reassuring and unspoken signal for the words, i love you.

“Do not fret, love. For I will come back and you and I will leave this place,” Kunikuzushi kisses you softly. “Together.”

“Promise?”

He smiles, “Promise.”

Your fingertips trace his cheek softly as his own tilt your chin upwards, “Come back safely to me, Kuni.” You murmur, lips dancing against his.

Kunikuzushi deepens the kiss as your fingers tangle themselves in his indigo locks.

“Always.”

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

The border conflict had taken much longer than he'd anticipated, two months at best but when Kunikuzushi returns to the harbor, he disregards the paperwork and letters littering his office, missing the urgent letters you’ve sent him.

He’s held back from seeing you due to having to close up loose ends with Xiao but once he’s free, he quickly makes his way to the Yuanfen House.

But as Kunikuzushi nears the pleasure house, his ears catch onto news that sends a chill down his spine.

“Did you hear? Someone bought the Balsam Flower Maiden out from the Yuanfen House!”

“Xiyue? No way!”

His eyes widened and his heart beat seemed to echo harshly in his ears. “They beat out the down payment another customer had put in.”

Before he knows it, Kunikuzushi is grabbing the man by his collar, his indigo eyes thundering violently. “When is she being sold?” He snarls and the man pales from the intensity of Kunikuzushi’s eyes, his aura flickering with anger and power.

“T- Today.” Kunikuzushi harshly lets go of the man’s collar before he’s running quickly, his heart aching as panic floods his mind.

He curses himself for being stupid, not having been more careful especially when he knows your price is skyrocketing.

Kicking the door open, he’s demanding to see Lihua, the said woman regarding him with a glare of indifference. “She was bought out.” She states simply as if you were something to be easily disregarded.

His eyes thunder, anger flaring in him as lightning buzzes on his skin. The people within Liyue closest to the harbor’s waters swear they can hear thunder on the horizon.

“I don’t give a damn,” Kunikuzushi growls, fists balling and he doesn’t care to wince at the slight sting his skin radiates when his fingernails dig into his palms.

“I don’t care about the price. I’ll double it, triple it.” He sees the old hag’s eyes sparkle and he feels disgust rise in him. “I want her and only her.”

She smirks, sly and conniving. “She’s all yours.”

Disregarding her words, Kunikuzushi is quick to make his way to your chambers, relief and worry blooming in him.

Opening the doors, he’s greeted with the sweet and slightly spicy, resinous scent of balsam flowers and he finds himself calming down.

Your eyes fly to the door, landing on his figure and they widen in shock. “I’m sorry,” Kunikuzushi admits softly, swallowing harshly as he sees your eyes pool with relief and sadness. “I’m sorry for being so late.”

He isn’t able to say much as your arms are suddenly wrapping around his neck, your scent invading his senses as you bury your face in his shoulder.

Your touch is soothing, calming and in your embrace does he feel less war-torn and he thinks that peace may feel a lot like you.

Kunikuzushi is quick to wrap his arms around your waist as he allows himself to melt into your embrace, placing a kiss on your hairline. ��I’m sorry for taking so long.” He apologizes once more and his arms tighten around your waist as he feels your body tremble.

You look up at him and his heart aches seeing unshed tears glaze your pretty eyes. “It’s okay, you’re here now.” You whisper shakily and he wishes he could turn back time to spare you such melancholy.

It’s quiet before you shakily exhale, “I thought I lost you in battle.” Your words are vulnerable and it sends a spike of pain in his chest that lingers.

“Forgive me, my love.” Kunikuzushi murmurs, kissing your lips delicately. “Battered and wrecked, I will always come to you first.”

He holds you closer, “For my heart is so full of you, I can hardly call it my own.”

© 2024 𝐌𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆-𝐈𝐕. do not copy, repost, share, or translate any of my works to tiktok, instagram, and/or any other websites/platforms.