#kyr gets one because he deserves one

[threefolddefencespeech]

WorldCon!

So - WorldCon's over. I'm safely back home, very tired, only mildly ill, definitely getting the con drop or at least experiencing far too many post con emotions (what do you mean there won't be another one nearby for five years?). So perfect time to write a bit about it. I'm not going to get everything in here, but let's ramble incoherently about some highlights.

The Hugos

My spouse (and the rest of their team) won a Hugo! I am so proud and happy for them - it is, I say with incredible bias and no objectivity, very very well deserved. How could getting to celebrate that not be a highlight?

So. Let's move on to some book opinions. This year, I managed to read almost all of the best novel finalists (bar Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, which I'm still a few chapters into and ping ponging off. Let's say I'm pretty sure where my opinion was going to lie). So I get to have some more detailed opinions than most years, which is fun/regrettable for anyone who got an earful from me about Starter Villain!

It's always interesting to see what makes the Hugo shortlist. This year, a truly massive gulf emerged between my two favourites, the middle-of-the-roads, and one real "no, really, why was this here?" option.

Out in front were Saint of Bright Doors (Vajra Chandrasekera) and Some Desperate Glory (Emily Tesh). I can already see this post getting enormous, so I'll try and be quick (this is a lie).

Saint of Bright Doors is wonderful - the first chapter introduces us to a clear chosen one narrative, with Fetter raised with a destiny: to kill his cult leader father. The second rejects it utterly. Fetter ignores his destiny and his mother's calls, and immigrates to a city - one that has elements of socialist ideal, but gradually reveals more and more of itself to be a fascist police state, and in every case is wonderfully strange. He joins a group of fellow religious "unchosen ones". He drifts. His father's cult grows in influence, and threatens to pull him once more into orbit - but this is not so conventional a story as to fully let it. And he becomes fascinated with the city's bright doors, which lead nowhere, and are unopenable. In a less talented writer's hands, this would feel disjointed. Instead it's wonderful - a dreamy-but-grounded, mythic-but-real story of aimless reality pitted against religious destiny, of cults and pogroms and the structures that lie beneath the world. I have my problems with the ending. But had I liked it more, I suspect it would have been a worse book.

Some Desperate Glory tells a story of a militarised future human society, living to avenge the Earth. It is also, in many ways, a cult. Where Some Desperate Glory particularly succeeds is that its protagonist isn't an outlier. How many dystopias have you read in which the lead is an outcast, or always felt subtly wrong in the society, never quite fit in? But Kyr is in so many ways this future society's model citizen. Which makes her growth - her experimentation in the wider world - and the ways in which this society still abuses her, and still fails her because she can't live up to its ideals, far more powerful. She's not a comfortable head to make a home in, at least to start with, but it's a far better novel for that. While what the novel's doing is far clearer than Saint, it does go to some interesting places - and explores these cultish power structures on various scales. I have quibbles and gripes. Do I wish more page space had been devoted to developing the novel's visions of alternative versions of Kyr, rather than slamming in character development in fast forward? Yes, and I would have happily sacrificed a few big action setpieces (which is where I suspect that space went) to get there. But it's still a powerful book.

Saint definitely my preference there, but both worthy winners.

Then we had the middle of the pack.

Leckie's Translation State was... fine? I expected more, though. We had some alien weirdness, but it was wrapped around a story which had the exact same plot arc as a typical YA arranged marriage novel, with the characters ending up in exactly the same places you'd expect. Aside from one, who simply gets forgotten about. It was perfectly pleasant, but revolutionising the genre this is not.

Martha Wells' Witch King is a secondary world fantasy, told with a flashback-interweaving-with-present-events structure, in a way that's far more evenly balanced between the two narratives than most, with the past narrative holding most of the explanation of characters and relationships highly relevant to the present. However, it fails to really make it work - it sacrifices a lot of character development and foreshadowing for the actual plot to get this structure working, which means the actual key revelations fall a little flat when they come. It's not a bad book! There's some fun magic system stuff, some mildly interesting possession-of-different-gendered body stuff... but it's not life changing, just a fun attempted structural twist on an otherwise pretty classic secondary world fantasy.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi - well, it's a middle eastern pirate fantasy. The historical inspiration is great here - rich and vibrant. But the prose is clunky - it's doing Historical Feminism but in a really obvious, unsubtle way that's clearly just 2024 views projected backwards, or at least that's how it seems from the "ah, we mens often think x about a powerful lady, don't we?" narrator chapter. I like engaging with these topics, but can I wish for a bit more nuance and some better writing? Mind you, I'm only a few chapters into this one, and keep bouncing off. It might get better when I push through. From what others have said, I doubt it - but I can't really say. I'm maybe being harsh from initial impressions here.

So most of this middle group are small twists or weirdnesses upon otherwise pretty familiar genre novels.

Then there's Starter Villain, which is the only "really, why is this here?" novel of the list. I suspect just because Scalzi's a big name in SFF, and name recognition gets you a long way at the nomination stage. While I might quibble with the middle group - probably there was more interesting SFF published last year? - this was a novel-length shaggy dog story. It's not funny enough to be farce or satire - but it's not doing anything else. The protagonist's main defining traits are "very divorced", "likes cats", and I suppose "vaguely nice". Everyone speaks in the same way. And this goes nowhere - other than a few jokes about dolphins and venture capitalists along the way. Maybe if this hadn't been up for the Hugo, I wouldn't have hated this so much. But I expected something. This was my first Scalzi, and I probably won't choose to repeat the experience.

So, how'd the voting turn out? Some Desperate Glory won, which I vaguely suspected - felt like it had broader appeal as a slightly more traditional novel than Saint of Bright Doors anyway. But Hugo votership, why did you do Saint quite so dirty? It's so far down the list. On the other hand - faith marginally restored by Starter Villain ending up in a clear last place.

Which is to say: probably good job overall, Hugo votership, but you're on some shaky ground. :P

The Panels

Panels! I went to lots of them. I was terribly sabotaged by my very first panel, Revolutions in Speculative Fiction, setting the bar far too high. I was largely picking panels based on people + a vaguely interesting topic, with a few exceptions. Ada Palmer's and Arkady Martine's definitely proved that method of panel picking works well.

...after Dublin, the other thing I learned (alongside picking based on people) was that I really shouldn't plan my con too inflexibly or intensively. So despite wanting to go to 4 things in every slot, I paced myself - I missed out on an interesting panel and went to hang out with people or Do Food occasionally, especially when emotion + tiredness demanded it, and I probably had a better con for it.

There were worse panels too. Several on interestingly nuanced topics had a tendency to regress into more basic topics - particularly into cultural appropriation 101. Cultural Appropriation 101 is not a bad panel topic! It's an incredibly necessary one. But it's also a panel I have been to several times now, and while I think other panels should certainly touch on it where relevant, I wanted a bit more than Different Topic 101 from "Ancient Cultures and Context" and the discussion of religion in fantasy, for instance.

Overall though, I had a good time with the panels - even when frustrating (cough, Scalzi showboating and talking over other panelists in "Systems as Villains" when he didn't actually have anything to say, cough), they were fuel for conversation with interesting people, and there were some truly interesting ideas in there too. Maybe I'll manage to incorporate a few into my own writing. I hope so.

Self-Indulgent Gender Stuff

I'll try not to ramble about this too much, but it was pretty significant to my con experience. This was my first con since coming out as a trans woman (it also coincided with my 1 year anniversary of starting HRT). Honestly, coming up to it, I was pretty stressed - despite knowing on paper that a substantial part of WorldCon is queer nerds, it didn't quite make it through to my brain, or at least I suppose endocrine system (I worry about my appearance anyway, and was just coming off a bit of a doomspiral about my features at the 12 month mark, which may not have helped!).

But everyone was genuinely very nice about it - including everyone I already knew, but who hadn't seen me since pre-transition. And you know, it did feel really good to be able to present the way I actually wanted to at other cons (pre transition, I can't deny a certain - large - amount of envy at fem con + cosplay outfits, and I actually get to do some of that now). I even got some compliments on my outfits, which was very flattering (plus one person inexplicably wanting to draw me at the Hugo afterparty).

Did that stop me from worrying? Silly question. I still spent a lot of the con convinced I looked terrible in so, so many ways, and had to frequently borrow some reassurance from spouse and friend (I'm so sorry). There were a few low points. But I'm so glad I did it. Hopefully the start of many more cons presenting more comfortably.

Plus, I have discovered a great secret. My terrible dancing is drastically improved by the addition of a swooshy skirt. (Well, maybe some other stuff helped too, but I'll go with that)

People

I've talked a lot about official, organised things where I was there as a spectator: panels, the Hugos. But really, so much of WorldCon is just spending time with lovely people.

I got to do lots of the con with spouse and a soon-to-be-ex-Oxford friend, who I have really fond memories of doing other cons with. Lots of silly late night dancing. Lots of in depth discussions, from the deeply absurd to the (maybe) absurdly deep (or maybe just the former all over again). I got to see other Oxford friends in the magic con zone! @frith-in-tombs between track stuff and @vivelabagatelle occasionally too.

I got to catch up with other friends, especially the ex-Oxford folks! It was lovely to spend more time with @howlsmovinglibrary again (who also ran some excellent panels, and has definitely sold me on this villainess book), as well as Entourage, @cardboardmoose, and others (if I haven't named you explicitly it's probably because I thought the only way I've got of naming you might be too identifiable, and I don't know your name on here).

I got to meet new people, which honestly is one of the best things at a con. I spent a lovely night chatting to @canmom about all sorts of diversely interesting things, from opera to game design - completely unexpectedly after inexplicably working up the courage to venture a "hey, you're not [tumblr name] on tumblr, are you?" (at least I didn't comment on anybody's shoelaces, is all I can say in my defence). I met a distant friend from Discord and compared very different con plans - and a truly excellent crocheted Mr Pages. I chatted with a few more in panels. I finally got to hang out with Roseanna more than in passing (typically we've wound up communicating only through a mutual friend, Entourage since we've never really overlapped properly - I remember back when she asked me about reviewing, and look how the tables have tabled!) and had a great time dissecting the Hugos. (Another very well deserved Hugo win btw). I also learned that apparently I was referred to frequently as DAF by her and said friend, and she's completely forgotten what it stood for? I have a pressing need to solve this mystery.

And of course, there are some friends I dearly miss being able to con with too. Perhaps one day we'll be able to do so again.

What Next?

As I mentioned, so many post-con emotions! Five years really is too long between travellable worldcons for my liking.

Which means resolution 1 is: maybe I should do more cons? While flying transatlantic for WorldCon feels like a Lot, I've never made it to an Eastercon before, and I think I'd like to.

I've also reached out to plan a few meetups with nearby-ish worldcon people like Roseanna - I miss the con energy, and I think I'd like to get some more chats about books and such in my life. (Alas, distance remains a barrier for yet others!)

I also want to engage with more SFF writing - I read a fair few novels, but I feel like I miss out on a lot of reviews and criticism these days, and I miss that.

And as always, I come away wanting to put more energy into my own creative work - I've been planning a bigger IF-ish game (than my small silly/gift games I've made) for a long time, and maybe this is the time I'll manage the sustained effort to make it happen (and feel like I have My Own Stuff next WorldCon!). Hehe. Well, I can dream, anyway.

I should probably also catch up on sleep at some point.

It was a wonderful, exhausting, fascinating con - thank you to everyone who made it happen, whether more generally, or for me specifically. :)

[lurkingshan]

Our Dining Table and Complex Family Trauma

I finally caught up on Our Dining Table this week, just in time for the big penultimate episode. (I must give a shoutout to @isaksbestpillow here once again for giving me life with her excellent subtitles, which are so much better than the ones on Gaga). And unsurprisingly, I love love love this show. It’s just as good as everyone has been saying. I love the undercurrent of melancholy running underneath this very cute storyline. I love Minoru and Yutaka’s gentle dynamic as they become friends and then more. I would obviously throw my body in front of a moving train to protect Tane. I love Ueda, the ultimate shipper and Good Dad. 

What is most on my mind this morning, however, is the reveal in yesterday’s episode about the more complicated dynamics at play in Yutaka’s family. I’ve been reading some of y’all’s posts and I understand that 1) this perspective shift is not fully elaborated in the original manga; 2) some don’t like it much because they feel it asks us to put blame on Yutaka or absolve his family of their neglect. I've been chatting a bit with friends @wen-kexing-apologist @bengiyo @kyr-kun-chan @shortpplfedup @waitmyturtles about why I don’t feel that way and I wanted to talk a bit more about it (she says as she prepares to write a thesis). 

First, I think the show played fair on this. Despite grounding us firmly in Yutaka’s entirely valid perspective on how it felt to grow up in that house, we saw hints from the start that this was not as clear cut as his memories implied. We see his mom reaching out to him constantly, inviting him to come spend time with them. We see that the memories that shaped his trauma are from what seem to be his first few days with the family - when they first brought him home, and when they first sat down and ate a meal together - and that his brother Yuki was quite young at the time. We see that adult Yuki looks at him with genuine confusion and frustration when he runs into him at the grocery store, and seems to feel wronged by Yutaka’s refusal to talk to him or visit their parents. With no reason to think otherwise, you can read all of that as a neglectful and willfully obtuse family being unreasonable toward him, but the show left some gray space there so that we would be able to go back and recontextualize it when new information was presented. 

Second, this introduction of Yuki’s perspective makes so much sense and makes the family backstory a lot richer. Yes, absolutely, teen Yuki was being a little asshole when Yutaka was first brought into his home. This is not surprising. He went from being an only child who was used to having his parents’ sole attention to being told he has a new little brother he has to share everything with. He was a child and he behaved childishly about it, lashing out at this poor kid who truly did nothing to deserve it. And their parents, in an effort to appease their son who they probably felt guilty toward, let him get away with it, and did not properly tend to Yutaka’s emotions or provide him with the reassurance he needed. 

All of this sucks, but it’s so real, y’all. Anyone who grew up in a blended family can tell you as much. When new siblings come into the mix, whether by adoption or marriage or new relationships, there is nearly always resentment. I can recall one particularly bratty moment in my youth when after a remarriage my mom told me she was pregnant again, and because I was worried about my own prospects in life and already pissed at her for getting remarried, I said something along the lines of “we’re already poor enough, don’t you think you should stop having kids?” I said that! To my mother! I made her cry! It was horrible! And she forgave me, because she understood why I was so anxious and already carried a lot of guilt about not being able to provide for me the way she would like. Which is to say, I do not like Yuki, but I get him.

But the crucial piece here is we now know, via Yuki’s perspective and the supporting commentary from their parents, that this period of resentment only lasted a short time, and not long after Yutaka joined the family, he did accept him as his brother, he did care for him in the ways he knew how, and he did try to reach out and connect with him.

Which brings me to my third and most important point: Yutaka does carry some of the responsibility for how estranged he has become from his family, these behavioral patterns repeat in his struggles with accepting Minoru, and that is good storytelling. Two things can be true: Yutaka’s family did a poor job of making him feel loved and emotionally cared for as a traumatized child and never took the proper steps to make up for it, and Yutaka has made himself willfully blind to the love and care others try, albeit imperfectly, to give him.�� 

Stemming from losing his birth parents and then that first bad week with his adoptive family, Yutaka fears abandonment, emotional vulnerability, and rejection, and so he rejects others first. He shut himself down to the point he didn’t even perceive it when his brother was taking care of him. He literally did not remember that happened, like his brain forced him to forget. He accepts his family’s care when it comes to material things and financial support, but won’t connect with them emotionally. He ignores his mom when she reaches out to him, blows off his dad’s birthday, and avoids contact to the point he has no idea how they actually feel about him. He isolates himself at work and in his community, living a very solitary life. All of this is deeply sympathetic, because we know he is doing it out of a sense of self-preservation and a deep fear of being faced with something that could emotionally break him. 

But ultimately, this is unhealthy, and the show is very clear on this. We see how lonely and miserable Yutaka is until he meets Tane and Minoru. We see how he slowly opens up to them, how their particular style of straightforward communication, easy warmth, and gentle pushing connects with him in a way his much more emotionally staid family could not. We see how Yutaka blossoms as he essentially joins their family, but we also see how his own unresolved family trauma gets in the way. How easily he shuts down when he runs into Yuki, and how that causes him to backslide and begin pushing his new family away, as well. And we see how absolutely overwhelmed and unprepared he is to hear Minoru’s confession, how that also causes an emotional retreat, how his own fear about opening himself up to that kind of love (and therefore that kind of potential hurt) sends him hurtling back into his patterns of self-preservation.  

Finally hearing Yuki’s perspective on their childhood and allowing himself to briefly connect with his adoptive family didn’t magically fix the years of neglect and hurt between them. There is a lot of work to be done there if he actually wants a decent relationship with them, and that work has to be mutual and reciprocal. But those moments of connection did give Yutaka the push he needed to examine his own perceptions and his tendency to shut people out and realize he needs to change this aspect of his behavior. If he wants to be with Minoru, and be a family with him and Tane and Ueda, and if he wants to have joy and love and care in his life, he absolutely must allow others to connect with him. Which means he has to open himself up to hurt again, because you can’t have one without the other. And at the end of yesterday’s episode, he made the incredibly brave choice to do exactly that.

[veatomis]

hi please tell me more about kyrtaar I can’t stop spinning them around in my brain!

what’s their relationship like with their party members? who’s their usual “squad”?

on the flip side, spare kyrtash info ? how did they meet? what was their first impression of that handsome greasy man? what drew them together? could post-tadpole kyr reconnect with gortash, or are they too different from their bhaalist self?

(this is a lot of questions so sorry if some of it’s been discussed before but im really curious (and I love kyrtaar’s design so much… white outfit covered in blood >>>))

Hi!!! Thank u so much for asking <33 most of these things i have discussed but only in my best friend's dms so it's really nice to get them out in the open, i appreciate any and all opportunities to be deranged abt kyrtaar <3

(putting this under the cut because again. derangement <3)

Their relationship with the companions is... strenuous at best. When i made them i specifically wanted to do an evil playthrough with them but i wanted them to kind of slowly lean into it, they don't remember anything upon waking up and they're having to deal with the violent and murderous urges and at first, they try to confide in the rest of the companions but all of them pretty much blowing them off and not taking their warnings seriously UNTIL they actually succumb and kill alfira and suddenly everyone is looking at them like they're a disgusting dangerous bug makes their blood boil and leads to them embracing their darker side (albeit in a more. cutthroat/strategic way at first, compared to the previous love for murder they had as a bhaalist).

Their only squad is shadowheart, astarion and minthara. Kyrtaar decided to ally with minthara and raid the grove so, no karlach, halsin or wyll </3 They convinced gale to stay but he's always acting very disgusted about how they are so they never take him with them. And lae'zel... they were very selfish and because the most pressing matter to them was recovering their memories (and unlike shadowheart, astarion and minthara's personal quests which they did "help" with) lae'zel's personal quest would have made them go out of their way and stall to much so they just. never helped her. and when her incessant demands to go there started to annoy kyrtaar too much they eventually stopped bringing her with them. Honestly the only person they really bonded with was minthara, even astarion and shadowheart were just temporary allies to make the journey easier, not real friends.

And of course u can have so spare kyrtash info. durgetash is the entire reason why i made kyrtaar lmao

In my mind the way the kyrtash meeting happens because of gortash's canon reasonings (becoming allies with the leader of an already established cult of another of the dead three could score him some points with Bane and make him ascend rank, i don't believe he was really the chosen of bane at the time of meeting kyrtaar or really that important of a banite) and since all gortash knew abt them was virtually nothing he ends up making a bit of a fool of himself (ie. not believing kyrtaar is the high primate and demanding an audience with the "real one" instead of some "lackey") so kyrtaar's first opinion on him is. not really good lmao. They think he's just an arrogant fucker shooting way above his station and their second meeting (after gortash finally does some homework) where gortash mentions kyrtaar's adoptive family that they murdered sours things even more.

To me their romance and attraction was a real slow burn, they spend quite a few years clashing but also not being able to truly step away from each other, their first years together they don't really understand one another BUT they can see the other's potential so they keep allying for dead three cult activities and it's not after kyrtaar threatens to leave for good if gortash doesn't show them AND their bhaalist faith the respect they deserve that they truly enter "there is no one else who gets me like you do" territory. After that... it's very many years of playing gay chicken with each other, where they make an effort to understand each other's motivations and drive and how to achieve their gods' plans together so the forced proximity with much less antagonism does them good + them seeing each other as equals strokes enver's ego perfectly (he's living the dream having a powerful, competent, chosen from birth demigod as an ally) while also soothing kyrtaar's need for someone to see them as a person with their own needs and wants and not just a weapon, or a monster, or their father's greatest creation

If gortash was living the dream before kyrtaar got tadpoled, after?? he is in absolute heaven. The problem with kyrtaar while they were bhaal's chosen (after they got over their hangups abt being a bhaalspawn and everything that comes with it) is that they would've made the perfect banite. They ruled bhaal's temple with an iron fist and the only thing that actually tipped them over to being a devout bhaalist was just how much bhaal's vision for the world and their role in it had a grip on their actions and thoughts and "hopes" for the future. So when they learn abt their father abandoning them and letting orin take their place post tadpole all that faith is impossible to bring back and they feel extremely resentful towards bhaal. The one thing that made them the greatest bhaalist is gone but their dominance, their desire for having only the utmost respect directed at them, their calculating mind is all still there which honestly makes things easier for kyrtash to flourish again it took them nine years to finally get together pre tadpole but the underlying physical and romantic attraction + kyrtaar's change in loyalties towards gods makes things move wayyy faster post tadpole. ++ even though they're not a bhaalist anymore kyrtaar is not a good person lmao, they've been making cruel and horrifying choices for most of their life and they've become quite comfortable with that way of navigating the world so gortash doesn't have to deal with a kyrtaar with a conscience or anything, they're still two bad people who truly deserve each other <3

[bylightofdawn]

WIP Sunday aka guess who lied?

Well, my writing muses are back in the swing of things and I managed to write enough of a scene that doesn't contain too many spoilers.

Uh....context, two of Jaster's people disappeared down in the undercity tunnels tracking down Death Watch. One of them got kidnapped and now they're trying to track them down before it's too late.

Minor story spoilers and characters below the cut. As always it's rough as always. I'm also going to link to a choose your own adventure style poll I posted earlier today asking people how they would like to see the fate or our favorite traitorous Mandalorian Montross.

They all rendezvoused near the closest entrance to the underground warren of utility tunnels that Vau and Myles had disappeared into. A pair of armored CSF guardsmen were waiting there with the promised massiffs.

Jaster had brought a couple of articles of clothing that belonged to Myles as instructed and the guardsmen immediately presented them to the beasts so that they could get a really good whiff of his scent.

“We will cover more ground with two of them, this place can be a bit of a maze.” The Mirialan with dusty purple skin and startlingly bright green eyes explained as he pat his massiff affectionately on the head once the beast had gotten the scent.

“We have forwarded the most up to date holomaps to you; if you get separated or lost, it is wiser to stay in place and wait for rescue.” The near-human who was paired up with the other massiff informed them.

“Thank you, officers. If you’d just give me a moment to speak with my people?” Jaster asked politely as he tapped the side of his helmet to indicate to the gathered Mandalorians that he wanted them to activate their internal comms and as an added level of privacy, he slipped into Mando’a.

Yes, it was exclusionary, but there were certain orders he didn’t exactly want the CSF officers or the Jedi to overhear.

“Everyone knows their mission, we are trying to find our missing people but we are also not going to let Death Watch squirm their way out of this. Stun them if you can but if you only have a kill shot, you take it.”

“Why are we even bothering with non-lethals here?!” Kyr demanded hotly.

“Because we have outside witnesses here, but it’s also come to my attention that Death Watch’s recruitment tactics are more deprived than any of us ever assumed. They are prone to kidnapping the witnesses of their raids and brainwashing those children into following their doctrine.”

That news had a ripple of unease traveling through the gathered Mandalorians.

“I know to some of you, that might not matter, but it matters to me. I’m not saying all of these people are innocent; that’s why we need to figure out the difference which we can only do if they are still breathing.”

“Afterward, we will interview and examine the survivors and anyone we can prove has been kidnapped and brainwashed; we’ll try and get them the help they deserve and the rest can rot in some deep, dark hole in the ground to never be seen again for all I care. Either way, we’re not letting the Republic have a say in it and us not massacring everyone we meet will make that negotiation a little bit easier. Understood?”

He seemed to direct that last question toward Kyr in particular.

“Fine, let’s quit wasting time.” Realistically, Kyr knew that his man was probably dead but until he saw the body, he wanted to hope that they were still alive. And he wanted revenge against Death Watch and he was going to have it. Hang Jaster Mereel’s high-minded ideals, the only good Death Watch member was a dead one.

Thankfully for everyone involved, Jaster and Kyr were splitting up into two teams with the majority of Clan Ordo’s warriors going with their leader.

It took them twenty minutes to track down Walon Vau whose pace had slowed to a crawl courtesy of the blood loss. Arla was the one who ended up stumbling upon him and she cried out for Mij as she tugged the man out of a nook he’d shoved himself into.

“Came across a Death Watch patrol, I think we might be getting close.” Walon panted breathlessly when they set up a parameter around their wounded comrade. When Mij pulled his bucket off, the man’s face was pale and bloodless.

The gut shot was revealed soon enough and was bad enough to have the doctor cursing up a storm as he started an emergency IV to help restore some of the blood that had been lost with Walon’s stubborn traipsing through the tunnel system.

Normally, even a glancing blaster wound like this would have cauterized the wound site, but the man had apparently reopened the wound in the process.

“You’re an idiot, Walon Vau.” Arla hissed at the man as she doubled up his discarded utility belt only to hold it up to his mouth. “Bite down, we don’t want to announce we’re here with you singing like a shriek-hawk on their doorstep.”

Vau gave her a gimlet look but obediently bit down on the leather of the belt much to Mij’s visible disgust.

“We have drugs for that, you know.” Mij pointed out laconically and pushed some narcotics into the port of the IV he’d set in Vau’s ungloved hand. “If you want to suffer nobly, so be it.”

The wounded man glowered at him and Mij could see the moment the pain meds hit his system because the fierceness of that glare softened and his eyes went a little glazed over as his face went slack.

“Jaster, he needs surgery.”

“I know, can you move him safely?” He didn’t point out that if they were close enough to the Death Watch base that Walon had to hide from their patrols, they needed to get their wounded as far away from the front lines as possible.

“I can try recauterizing the worst of the bleeding and we could probably carry him out on a stretcher but that’s going to put us down two bodies.”

“That’s fine; we’ll take that chance. You return to us once you’ve handed him over to emergency services because we might need you later.” Jaster didn’t miss how Arla pushed some of the lank, sweaty hair back from Vau’s forehead with a surprising amount of gentleness he never expected.

The two of them had always seemed to have a bit of an adversarial relationship, but maybe he’d missed something.

“Alright, Arla? Kal? Hold him down; I don’t want him flopping around like a fish when I’ve got a cauterizer in his guts.”

Kal and Arla switched positions, with Kal bracing Walon’s shoulders down and pinioning his upper body while the woman practically knelt on the man’s thighs to keep his legs in place as Mij performed his field surgery as quickly as he possibly could.

The poor horrified Mirialan looked at the lot of them like they were savages.

[inevitablyuncertain]

does jay just.. not like the trouble of giving characters last names?

Dawn Lastnamewithheld

Thog

Inien

Firi

Horaven “The Hero”

[x-lulu]

hii y’all, so I wanted to say thank you to some people and wish them a lovely new year. we of course have to deal with time zones and different religions that have influence on when the new year starts, so i’m just gonna post it now.

I love you all, to some I talk every day, to some just a few asks so now and then and others presence I just enjoy on my dash, nonetheless I love all of you and I’m grateful you put up with my shit haha x

I also wanted to say a quick thank you to all the lovely anons, your asks make my day and I’m honoured that you take time to send me some :) so thank you and I hope y’all have a lovely 2021!! ofcourse I wish everyone a happy new year as well, all my followers, everyone on this site, no matter who you are have a wonderful 2021 and may you get all the love and happiness you deserve x

@rafej-cambanks​

dani, my older and wiser sister! I love you, I haven’t been texting you as much as i used to sorry, i think we’re both quite busy. anyway this doesnt make me love you any less, i love you lots bby! you were one of the first people that welcomed me, supported me and cared about me, most important of all, you were the first that gave me the feeling i wasn’t completely worthless and that you did that means so much! you are such a talented person and your writing is incredible!! but the most amazing thing about you is how lovely of a person you are. you care so much and you’re there for everyone, you defend your friends and anyone who needs defending. you always know how to cheer me up with pics of your lovely princess, chels is just absolutely gorgeous!!! I think you’re a wonderful friend, someone who you can laugh and cry with, thank you, im grateful i’ve met you this year and i hope that there are a lot of conversations to come. have a lovely new year babe

@deionswannabegirl​ 

bubba, bella, how gorgeous are you ma’am????? i dont think it’s fair for the rest of us!!! i dont know where to start, you honestly mean so much to me. which may suprise you because we havent talked that many times, but i loved every single conversation we’ve had. you really helped me become the person i am, you helped me feel comfortable with my sexuality and gave me the confidence to come out to my parents, ill forever be grateful. but apart from how much you helped me, i think you are such a lovely woman, who sadly had too many things thrown at her by life. Im so sorry you’re having these hard times and i wish i could take those away from you. you are one of the most beautiful persons i’ve ever met, inside and outside!! you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re intelligent, you’re talented, you’re loving, you’re amazing bella and im honoured to have my cuddle bear be named after you hahah. I love you bub and i know it can be hard to talk to people or ask for help or just a distraction, because sometimes we dont need help or dont know what to talk about, i just want to let you know that i will always be here and i promise you can talk about anything with me, you are so strong love and i believe you will get through this and that you are gonna make beautiful memories, i love you! may 2021 be a year to make wonderful memories and may you get the love you deserve and you deserve lots of it <3

@aquariusholland​

kyr! hi! i love you and every time i see you on my dash i get a smile on my face. you really have your own sense of humour and randomness, both which i adore. your jokes make me laugh in public and people are like wtf she laughing about haha. i relate to a lot of things you post haha and while we might not talk that much, i feel close to you. you kind of feel like a sister to me haha. you’re also a queen and come up for yourself and your believes, but also in a respectful way and i just admire that about you. I hope you have a wonderful new year and that it exists of a lot more of your random asks ;)

ps. can i call you kyr bear? idk i was thinking about you and my mind went to kyr bear hahah

@https-luna

lunaaaa bby! we both thought the other didn’t like them haha, but gosh i love you 👉👈 we haven’t been talking for that long yet i think two weeks maybe? idk but you’re already really important to me! i wish i could do more for you than just listen and maybe give some advice, but sadly i cant hold you in my arms and protect you from the world. i will however always do my best and ill be here for you no matter what. you deserve the world my love and things will get better and im here along the way and so are lots of other people, you really are loved bubba!!! i also started watching hannah montanna since you mentioned you loved that show ;) and finally someone with the same love for the little mermaid hahah. I hope that in 2021 we can get even closer, but i think we’re going down the right path <3 i love you and wish you a wonderful new year with lots of love, healing and health, because you deserve it so much! you’re also so strong and i fully believe that you will get there x

@sortagaysortahigh

hey love, we don’t really talk but i wanted to add you to the list. i really admire you!! you stand up for what you believe in, you educate so many people and do what’s right in this world!! you love your friends and i believe you’d anything for them!! you’re also hella funny and seeing you in my dash can make my day. i just wanted to tell you that you’re a wonderful human being and you make the world a lot better!! i hope you keep being the amazing person you are and i wish you all the love and happiness in the world!! also you’re a badass haha, happy new year angel 🖤

@annab-nana

anna bby, you’re the sweetest person i’ve ever met!! i love interacting with you so much, you always bring a smile to my face and i believe you do that to a lot of people. you’re an incredible presence on tumblr and in the world, i believe you make everyone’s life a bit brighter and i hope i can do the same for you. on top of that you’re also hella talented, idk what god thought when he made you ;) I love that we have gotten closer in the past few weeks, i cant believe that i hadn’t made the connection between you and your sideblog hahah, but now i know you and im grateful for it!!! you’re a loving, caring and supporting lil bean and i love you! i feel like i can come with anything to you and you’ll be there for me and that is an amazing feeling, so here just a reminder that you can also come with anything to me <3 i hope 2021 is gonna be a good year for you, you deserve it!! 

ps - you’re absolutely gorgeous

@mxltifandoms06

hi sweetheart!! when i think of christmas i think of you ;) (i wrote this when it was almost christmas not new year haha) you’re such a cozy and sweet human being!! you’re supportive, caring and loving!! you always make my days better and i’m so grateful to have met you!! also your dog is just the most adorable ever!! im so glad you decided to come in my ask box and start interacting, i love you babe, i hope all the love you give you’ll receive in 2021, you’re deserving of a lot of love <3

@killingbxys

my queen! hi! we don’t talk as much as I would want to, but gosh i just have a comfortabel vibe with you, i feel like i can come with anything to you and every time i see you on my dash, asks, dm anything it brings a smile on my face. i’ve said it before, but you’re that one friend who you can both laugh and cry with. i feel like you’re this amazing presence here on tumblr and everyone is grateful to have you x i love you babe and i hope we will get closer in the new year :) if you’re up for that as well ofcourse hahah, im not going to force you to be friends with me (well... maybe i am... but we’re not gonna talk about that...). I wish you the best and i hope 2021 will treat you wonderful x

@jellyfishbeansontoast

izzy hi!! babe i love you and all your randomness, every time i see you in my dash i get a smile on my face!! also your work is incredible!!! and i love seeing you simping haha!! your whole blog is basically a mood and i love it 🥰 thank you for being your lovely self!! i hope you’ll get the love and happiness you deserve and i also hope to get closer in 2021 hehe ;) you’re just this amazing person and im honoured to be moots! have a lovely new year x

@demxters

elle my love, if we’re gonna talk about lovey and talented people ofcourse we have to add you to the list. you’re one of my favourite writers of all time, your titles, your aesthetic, your concepts, your way with words, it’s all so perfect!!! you always amaze me and then we started talking and omg you’re such a sweet person and every time i get an ask or a message from you it puts a smile on my face. i’m grateful i met you this year and i wish you all the best, i believe in you, you’re so strong!! i know you go through some difficult stuff, but i will always be there for you, remember you are worthy and so loved!!! i love you, have a wonderful 2021.

@pink-meringues

pink gosh im gonna miss you so bad, but i’m also really proud of you for doing what’s best for you and i really hope it will have positive effect on your well being and your happiness!! you’re such a loving and welcoming person!! thank you for being who you are and making so many peoples lives better, we all care about you babe!! have a lovely 2021 <3

@sunsetholland

hey love, if i’m gonna be honest here, you were the person who gave me the confidence to start being myself on this site, you probably don’t remember but once you send me an ask and wished me a lovely week, which brought a smile to my face!! that was the moment that i decided to be myself, thank you for that!! apart from that you are so freaking talented, i say it all the time but your work is like reading poetry, how you come up with your sentences i have no clue, but it’s wonderful and i’m amazed every time!! you’re also a lovely human being and your posts on my dash always make me smile!! i hope you have a lovely 2021 babe, i love you <3

@skiesofthesketchy

sky my love, you’re such a loving and supporting human being. you really bring peace on my dash and give me a calm feeling!! I honestly still can’t believe that my tumblr crush knew who I was and wanted to talk to me haha. I’m obsessed with your work and there are so many people who admire you, which you totally deserve!!! It’s almost unbelievable how talented you are haha and your music taste is also on point!! and how cool is it that you can play the guitar and have a job to do with music, I love it and you’re so talented and well deserving of every good thing that comes on your path. have a lovely new year x

@cognacdelights

hi bub, you’re one of my role models 🙈 you’re a classy badass who I admire so much, you’re one of the most talented persons I’ve ever met! you’re also so lovely and sweet!!! and you’re a really fascinating and interesting woman as well!! I wish you all the best my love, remember to take some time for yourself and try to ignore those toxic people, you’re more than enough and deserve to feel happy and loved

@mind-with-a-melody

tess, i know you haven’t had the best time lately and i wish 2021 could be a whole new start for you, sadly mental health doesn’t work that way. however i really hope it will be better for you and you’ll learn to have hope and maybe love yourself, because you are so worth it. you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. you send love to people and make others peoples days better and that is the most wonderful trait someone can have, i believe in you, you are strong and even tho it may not feel like that but it will get better and i’m always here!! you’ll get help along the way, from me but also from so many other people who love you!! i hope 2021 will treat you better, you deserve all the love and the happiness ma’am, happy new year!!

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

hi audrey, we haven’t talked that much yet, but you’re the first blog i followed on here. you’re so talented and seeing you on my dash always brings a smile to my face. so i decided to send you an ask and then i found out that you’re a lovely human as well!! i wish you the best for 2021, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world!!

@nxsmss​ 

well lara, where do I start, last but definitely not least. I just had to put you last because I knew your message would be one of the longest haha. it feels so weird for someone to accept me completely as who i am, but you do exactly that! okay now im starting to cry again, but you mean so much to me. you’re the best that happened to me in a long long time and you’re honestly the person who helps me the most, gives me the best feelings, it’s incredible how much talking to you can cheer me up and when i think about you i start to smile (and sometimes cry hahah, jeez i come over like a cry bby, i promise im not hahaha). you’re one of the most loving and caring persons i’ve ever met. you were so welcoming since the first time we met and i feel like we kinda immediatelly hit it off. we didnt have that ‘how are you and where do you live’ kind of conversations, while there is nothing wrong with small talk, i feel like we pretty much immediatly started being our weird selves around each other and i love it. we have like three dates every week haha and those are honestly what gets me through the week. and we basically interact almost every hour, no matter if it’s trough text, snap, tumblr or tiktok hahah. ive never felt more myself, more loved or more capable than with you. on top of that you are hella talented, wise, intelligent, gorgeous, pretty much perfect ;) i absolutely love everything about you, from the clumsy stuff you do to the sweet good morning and good night messages, from the random snaps to the deep conversations, from the weird asks to just basically acting like we’re a couple hehe. i just love everything and i cant imagine my life without you, im never letting you go babe. 

@dmonchld @jiaraendgame @vintageobx @rafeyybabyy @camillemonty, @amorejjaygron​ 

we may not interact that much but every time I see you on my dash or asks or something it brings a smile to my face!! 

also @dmonchld you are my icon 🙈 and i admire you so much, im just a scared lil bean which stops me from interacting with you hahah, but you’re so strong and brave. i think you are a wonderful friend and just an incredible person in general

@jiaraendgame your music taste is just on point!! and im so grateful for you, when ive posted about tough subjects you comment and even when we didnt know each other you supported me and comforted me, thank you, i think you are this amazing person and i love every interaction with you

@vintageobx and @rafeyybabyy you guys were some of the first people I started talking to and you’ve always been supportive thank you for that!! you’re both really kind and i hope 2021 will treat you with nothing but love 

@camillemonty and @amorejjaygron you both make me feel welcome on this site and I’m really grateful for that!

i wish you all a wonderful new year and may it be filled with love, laughter and making wonderful memories 

i love you 

btw i started writing this like a month ago, because i never work on the stuff that i need to work on and knew i wouldn’t be able to finish it if i didn’t start already haha, so yeah, with some people the relationships might have changed a bit, like we’ve already become closer, but i think it’s all pretty up to date, but if it isn’t then you know that that’s why <3 and there are probably a lot of errors because it’s barely proofread and i’m a horrible at typing so that’s that 🙈

[yousoseelie]

THE MANDALORIAN, EPISODE 1

Alright, fellow nerds! The time is now--I have, to the more or less best of my ability, translated the first chapter into Mando’a. This is only lines spoken by Mando, because those make the most sense, not the literal entire script. Obviously there are...sort of spoilers? Most of it is pretty contextless, but still.

Notable frustrations: No word for Imperial or Empire, no words for landspeeder or speeder bike, no word for ride, no word for door. 

Also yes this includes the Armorer XD but in case revealing there’s More Than One Mando is a spoiler, I didn’t want to say that. Tally ho!

THE MANDALORIAN, EPISODE 1

I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.

Ni lise hiibi gar o’r oyayc, ra ni lise hiibi gar o’r ciryc.

I can take you in alive, or I can take you in cold.

Alternate: nadalyc, ‘warm’ from nadala ‘hot’ Also ge’nadala, “almost hot”

I need passage to the yards.

Ni liniba slana at me’sen veeray.

I need go to ship area.

No droids.

Nu beskar’ade.

No droids.

Get out.

Slana dayn.

Go out.

Probably not.

Cuyla nayc.

Probable no.

Alt: Nu’cuyla.

These are Imperial Credits.

Ibic’e X waadase.

These Imperial credits.

Note: oyula droten? Galactic Alliance

I don’t know if you heard, but the Empire is gone.

Ni nu’kar’tayli meh gar susulu, a X kyr’adyc.

I not know if you hear, but Empire passed away.

Alt: Ret gar nakar’mi, (Maybe you’re unaware,)

Fine.

Serim.

Accurate.

Note: I wanted something besides “thanks” or “yes” to indicate the sarcasm/resignation.

I’ll take them all.

Ni ven’hiibi an.

I will take all.

Why so slow?

Tion’jor bid dar’iviin’yc?

Why so no-longer-fast?

Alt: ures, ‘lacking’ or ut’reeyah, ‘empty’

Let’s see the puck.

Ke’tengaana ni bora.

Show me job.

Alt: koor, ‘deal, contract’

Alt: jilarud, ‘disc’

Underworld?

Tion chaavla?

(Essentially) Criminal?

What else did he say?

Tion majyc kaysh ru’sirbu?

What extra he said?

Have them lower theirs first.

Ke val diryci val sol’yc.

(Order) they lower theirs first.

I like those odds.

Ni vore ibac.

I accept this.

Note: The spirit of “I can take it” was more important than a literal translation, I feel.

Beskar?

-no translation needed-

Let’s see the puck.

Ke’tengaan jilarud.

Show disc.

Note: went with ‘disc’, also made it more clipped speaking to The Client.

What’s the chain code?

Tion 

What 

Note: I’m….pretty stumped on this, tbh.

Their age? That’s all you can give me?

Tion val simir’e? Tion ibac an gar lise dinui ni?

Their years? That all you can give me?

This was gathered in the Great Purge.

Ibic ru’joruu o’r Ori’Chakur.

This was gathered in Great Stealing.

Alt: te or haar for The, if you want emphasis.

It is good it is back with the Tribe.

Jate bic yaimpa bah aliit.

Good it returns to clan.

Note: bah and at both mean ‘to’, dative and movement-related, respectively. Both work, in this instance.

Yes.

Elek.

Yes.

A pauldron would be in order.

Ni urmankala bes’marbur duumyc.

I believe pauldron approved.

Alt: serim ‘accurate, correct’ might fit too.

Has your signet been revealed?

Tion gar aliik ru’mar’eyi?

Your sigil discovered?

Alt: I feel like mar’eyla or mar’eyc would be more appropriate--it almost seems adjective-y.

Not yet.

Nayc su.

No, still/yet.

Soon.

Ti ca’nara.

With time.

This is extremely generous. The excess will sponsor many Foundlings.

Ibic ori’dinui. Majyc ven’kir’mani birov ade.

This very gift. Extra will adopt many children.

Alt: adiike for children (3 to 13) or ik’aad (baby) but also I feel like it’s not quite encapsulating the nature of the word Foundling. Mar’ey’ade (Found children) or dar’buir’ade (orphans) I feel like fit more.

Alt: orilin, ‘profit, surplus’ majyce ‘something extra, addendum’ 

Alt: vencuyanir, ‘sustain’ instead of adopt?

That’s good.

Jate.

Good.

I was once a Foundling.

Ni ru’cuyi Mar’ey’ad.

I was Found-child.

I know.

Ni kar’tayli.

I know.

Thank you.

Vor entye.

Thank you.

Yes.

Elek.

Yes.

Did you help them?

Tion gar ru’gaa’tayli val?

You helped them?

Well, then I don’t know if I want your help.

Ret ni nu’kar’tayli meh copaani gar gaa’tayli.

Maybe I don’t know if I want you to help.

What’s your cut?

Tion’solet waadas gar copaani?

How much credits you want?

Alt: Tion’solet gar koor? “How much your deal?”

Half the bounty to guide? Seems steep.

Dul waadas par taap? Ori’waadas.

Half credits for location? Big money.

Alt: marekar, ‘navigation’, shekemir ‘follow’

Alt: Wayii ‘good grief’

The blurrg? You can keep them both.

Me’ven? Gar lise tayli val bintar.

Huh? You can keep them both.

I don’t know how to ride blurrg.

Ni nu’kar’tayli 

I don’t know

Note: wow, no word for ride really fucks me here.

Perhaps he remembers I tried to roast him.

Ret kaysh partayli ni ru’kebbu hetti kaysh.

Maybe he remembers i tried burn him.

I don’t have time for this.

Ni nu’gana ca’nara par ibic.

I do not possess time for this.

Do you have a landspeeder or speeder bike that I could hire?

Tion gar gana vhetin’juri’gota ra iviin’sol’gota ni lise verbori?

You have plains-carry-machine or speed-solitary-machine I can hire?

Note: no word for landspeeder or speeder bike, had to improvise

Easy. Easy. Now all right. Settle down. Whoa! Settle. Settle. That’s good. That’s good. Easy. Okay. That’s good. All right.

Udesii. Udesii. Jii an jate. Udesii. Wayii! K’udesii. Udesii. Jate. Jate. Pakod. Elek. Ibac jate. An jate.

Calm down. Take it easy. Now all good. Settle down. Hey! Settle. Settle. Good. Good. Easy. Yes. That good. All good.

Please. You deserve this.

Gedet’ye. Gar enteyo vore ibic.

Please. You must accept this.

Then why did you guide me?

Tion’jor gar alori ni?

Why you lead me?

Then why do you help?

Tion’jor gar gaa’tayli?

Why you help?

Oh no. Bounty droid. -sigh- Droids.

Osik. Beroya beskar’ad. Beskar’ade.

Shit. Bounty hunter droid. Droids.

IG unit! Stand down!

IG gotal! Sha’kaji!

IG-made! Cease-fire!

Alt: Kyr ge’kaan! (Endex!)

Alt: Gev! (Stop!)

I’m in the Guild!

Ni o’r Beroya Tsad!

I in Bounty Hunter Group!

That makes two of us.

Ibac gotalu t’ad be mhi.

That makes two of us.

Alt: Gar bal ni bintar, ‘You and me both’

So much for the element of surprise.

Bal’ban nu’keeni.

Definitely no infiltrating.

Unless I am mistaken, you are, as of yet, empty-handed.

Meh ni serim, gar gaane, su, ut’reeyah.

If I correct, your hands, yet, empty.

I have a suggestion.

Ni gana dajun.

I have plan.

We split the reward.

Mhi me’dinui dul waadas.

We share half credits.

Great. Now let’s regroup, out of harm’s way, and form a plan.

Ori’jate. Jii, mhi tom’urci, be’chaaj par aru’ese, bal dajuna.

Excellent. Now, we converge, away from enemies, and plan.

Can we talk about this later?

Tion lise mhi jorhaa’i bat ibic nu’jii?

Can we talk on this not-now?

Let’s go!

Ke mhi slana!

We go!

He’s in there!

Kaysh o’r ogir!

He in there!

Up top!

Laam!

Up!

Whoa, you’re what?

Me’ven, tion gar nari?

Hey, you do what?

Do not self-destruct. Cover me!

Ke nu’naasta gar. Hukaat’kama!

Do not destroy you. Cover me!

Go! Go! Go! There’s too many!

Slan! Slan! Slan! Naysol!

Go! Go! Go! Too many!

They got us pinned.

Val gaanayli mhi.

They trap us.

Do not self-destruct! We’re shooting our way out. ...Okay.

Ke’ nu’naasta gar! Mhi ven’tra’cya mhi tok’kad mav. ...Wayii.

Do not destroy you! We will fire our retreat free. ...Good grief.

New plan!

Evaar’la dajun!

New plan!

 No! Stop it!

 K’uur! Gev!

 Hush! Stop!

Draw their fire, I’ll take it out. Go!

Hiibi val tra’cyn, ni ven’naasta bic. Slan!

Take their fire, I will destroy it. Go!

You know, you’re not so bad. For a droid.

Gar kar’tayli, gar nu bid dush. Par beskar’ad.

You know, you not so bad. For a droid.

That blaster hit looks nasty. You okay?

Ibac tracy’uur nyn ret’aarayla. Tion gar shupur’yc?

That blaster hit maybe painful. You injured?

Is that good?

Tion ibac jate?

That good?

Well, now we just need to get the door open.

Jii mhi shi liniba broka ibac tenn.

Now we just need to beat that open.

Anyone else?

Ash’ad?

Someone else?

Wait. They said 50 years old.

Pare. Val ru’sirbu she’eta simire.

Wait. They said fifty years.

No. We’ll bring it in alive.

Nayc. Mhi ven’hiibi bic o’r oyayc.

No. We will take it in alive.

Until Friday! K’oyacyi!

[duskfloret]

☁ [Pat & Kyr!!]

「 ♔ a cloud for your thoughts ❞ @therapcn / accepting. 」

「 ⊗ 」 It had only been a quick comment, not something Kyr would usually pay much attention to, yet it’d been weighing heavily on his mind. “You should just marry a doctor, and then you won’t have to worry,” Pyrrha had said at the last club meeting during a discussion on what they all planned to do with their futures, when Kyr mentioned concern for the fact that he had no skills he could make a career of. ( Pat, bless him, was quick to reassure him that he could keep teaching kendo and maybe self-defense classes, which sounded like a good idea for him. Pat always had such good ideas. )

It was just one quick comment, and Pyrrha moved on almost right away, launching into an exasperated rant about how teachers never got paid what they deserved, and that if they did, she wouldn’t have to worry about money either. Though Kyr usually followed along with her rambling, as diligent as possible, he found his thoughts wandering, and even a couple days later, he was still stuck on that one simple statement.

It’s good that Pat’s gonna be a doctor. Kyr didn’t know why he thought so, but it kept crossing his mind, over and over again. Even as he sat at work petting the new cats that came in, most of his attention remained focused on that comment.

Of course it was good that Pat was going to be a doctor. Kyr always thought that–ever since he first started getting to know Pat. The world needed more doctors because people got hurt and sick all the time, and the world needed more people like Pat, who was more than willing to help random strangers on the street ( he’d grown to appreciate that interaction more and more ). Kyr knew that, yet he’d never thought about it so much until now, so why…?

Was it the marriage part? He’d never been one to consider long term relationships like marriage, and the concept just seemed foreign to him. Well, it was a heavy topic, so maybe it was natural that it weighed on his mind, but then again, when Josie brought it up and made him promise to never settle for anything less than the best, he hadn’t put so much thought into it. Yet surely he wasn’t thinking about the comment that much because he wanted to marry Pat; after all, they’d only known each other for a few months now, and that was too serious of a commitment to be considering.

No, it was probably just him being stupid again. Pat was nice and comforting to be around and smiled at him so warmly and touched him without hesitation and listened to him ramble, yeah, but that wasn’t anything worth overthinking. In the end, Kyr would rather just enjoy the other’s presence than put too much thought into what it meant.

[mechazilla94]

Kyr'ram couldn't bring himself to look at Steve, until his eyes landed on Hawkeye, who was watching the pair out of the corner of his eye. Clint didn't have to give him the opportunity to explain. The Avenger could have shot him and taken him straight to a cell, but instead chose to hear him out so did Natasha. Out of respect for them and Steve, the captain deserved the truth.

"We weren't attacked... You were..." he muttered as if telling his captain was more painful than getting his wing shredded. "You... You died a couple times and Bruce had to revive you because I..." he bit his lip, an unusual sign of nervousness and hesitation from the former HYDRA assassin.

He kept his eyes on the claws that were twisted in the blankets, "Emilia contacted me a few weeks ago... I was given orders to help them... or my kids and Emilia would die." he explained. "The terrorist group you went after was part of HYDRA, a distraction so I could meet with some higher ups. They gave me a syringe and told me to that I had to give it to you so I waited until you were sleeping and then I flew off without looking back." he confessed, knowing how he was making it sound, but he would rather Steve hate him than defend him. Steve had reputation to maintain. If Nat and Clint wanted to help him, then that was their problem. Kyr knew he belonged in a cell next to Rumlow.

*

Argo had finally managed to get his baby sister to sleep, but unfortunately for him he had Kyr's insomnia so he was wandering around the tower. He was deliberately avoiding the infirmary because he was scared to find out about his dad's condition.

He had long since lost track of where he was in the tower until he turned a corner and saw several different Iron Man suits. "Woah, cool..." he muttered, glancing around, he saw a bunch wires and metal laying on a desk. He looked around before slipping inside the lab, frowning at the lack of security protocols to get inside.

He went over to a busted up suit and frowned at one of the gauntlets, "Wait... that's not right... That's too strong for that circuit..." he looked around before picking up some tools and fixing the placement of the wires while he found a couple more small errors and fixed them as well.

Argo soon became so fixated on his project that he didn't notice Tony slip behind him. "God Damn it. Where is the damn tool?" the teen mumbled, looking for something with his tail while he tried to keep two wires from touching and zapping him.

Tony smirked, "On your left, kid." he said,watching the kid grab the tool without looking.

"Thanks. Apprecia- Shit..." Argo froze and immediately looked at Tony. "I can explain..." he tried, carefully setting the wires down.

[ FINAL ] - sender gives receiver a hug that is either knowingly or unknowingly the last hug they'll ever share. (Kyr to Steve)

“Cap! You comin’?”

Sam’s voice thundered over the whirling blades of the helecopter about to take off, but Steve lingered a moment more on the ground, looking at Kyr, slipping his hand swiftly into his partner’s, gloved fingers lacing with his.

“Hey,” he said, smiling, looking both confident and hopeful. “This isn’t anything we can’t handle. Couple of rouge terrorist looking to make some waves. No big deal for a couple of Avengers.” He tugged Kyr in, hugging him swiftly and pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips quickly. He wanted more but there was no time.

“See you in a minute.” Steve nodded to him, waiting for the other to confirm before slipping his hand free and turning to run towards the waiting helicopter, leaving Kyr on the ground with Hawkeye.

“Don’t I get a kiss?” Clint mock whined but Steve pretended not to hear him.

[las-aguas]

Agua de sandía

I’m stuck trying to write this cover letter for Northwest Immigrant Rights Project. The position I’m applying for is legal advocate or paralegal. Northwest Immigrant Rights Project is a non-profit that provides legal aid to detainees as well as free legal counseling to detainees, since detainees do not have a right to public defenders. I got to know them through my work at the Church Council. They were a part of getting the Rapid Response Hotline started, which I volunteered for. They have done most of the content and resources for Know Your Rights workshops, a couple of which I was able to attend and was then confident enough to volunteer to give a KYR workshop with Colectiva Legal. NWIRP filed a class action suit challenging the Muslim Ban and they were also at the airport the day the ban was implemented. I want to work with them because I believe they are a community minded organization. They work from the ground up with the best interest of the people they serve in mind. I want to stay close to Tacoma and to the Detention Center, as I know there are plans to expand it and that will be up for discussion at City Council in September. I would be glad to continue to learn about the organizations and the work being done in Tacoma to combat detention. I got to know some local organizations, attending actions put on by Northwest Detention Center Resistance and was in communication with AID Northwest. 

I want to ultimately work on immigration reform because militarization and deportation is not how we should go about solving the issue of undocumentation. It is in the interest of ICE and GEO to make detainees believe they are illegal criminals who do not deserve to be in this country, but what should be illegal is the treatment immigrants and refugees at the detention center receive. 

I got to appreciate NWIRP more this year as they helped a friend of my family’s who was detained. He didn’t have a lawyer but thanks to NWIRP he had a better idea of what was going to happen and what rights he had. 

As I drink my agua de sandía the bright pink drink takes me back to the warmest places of my memory, pero the most fresca ones too. Mami loves blending watermelon and keeps a pitcher of the agua in the fridge all summer long.

The agua de sandía was common for Mami when she was growing up in Honduras, too. I remember feeling prideful of the hot pink drink when I saw it being served out of a huge jarra of the kind that are common at las pulgas. Anyway it was a whole rainbow of jarras de agua fresca and it was beautiful. I remember it because moments where my identity were affirmed in my surroundings were rare growing up.   

I want to work toward immigration reform so that more latinx kids growing up can be affirmed through what they see and how their families are treated. People shouldn’t be in a constant state of not belonging. I want my family to be confident that there is a place for them here.

[mathes0n]

Thrilling Intent for the Fandom thing! (Or Adventure Zone if you get a Thrilling Intent ask before this one)

WOO YEA!!!

who i will protect at all costs: all???? of them????? but especially Gregor oh my god i will fight for that child 

who deserves better: aLL OF THEM??? I can’t even pick One for this one because they all deserve the Absolute World (though Kyr gets a Special Mention; he goes through a lot)

who was killed off too early: Rawlen was a lot of fun and I kind of wish we got to know more about him???? rip you sweet boy 

who i used to hate but now i love: Oh Thog this isnt even a question. I used to get annoyed every time he was in an episode but then I absolutely adored him and now I can’t imagine a world without my horrible son

who i used to love but now i hate: hhhh a Tough question... tbh i really did trust Xin at first and liked him as a character, but when he was clearly starting to manipulate ashe, i was very >:////// I don’t really hate him much anymore, but I don’t like him either

who needs to be killed off asap: A bit of a cop out answer, but those motherfuckers trying to get Ashe back to Meathe??? Like leave her alone she’s been through too much???? 

who is unfairly hated: I don’t think they’re hated but I think Narn deserves more love in this here fandom. Theyre literally a giant friendly bug how can u not love them 

who is unfairly loved:  I mean.... they ALL deserve love.... idk if theres anyone who I’d say is unfairly loved 

who needs to sort out their priorities: all of these Stupid Idiots during the entire Ohnorant saga.... they all did dumb stuff there we can all admit 

who needs a hug: all of them tbh but Especially Ashe Oh My God

who needs to get out of their current relationship: Are there like.... any canon relationships in TI?? I cant think of any, like, BAD ones.... so i have no answer here

who the writers love: I’d think all of the characters in the main group, though listening to Jackson’s art stream, there is a definite love for Thog and Inien and tbh i love that

who needs a better storyline: I wouldn’t say “””better”””” storyline bc they all have good stories??? But I’d LOVE to know more about Narn

who has an amazing redemption arc: I know this isn’t technically a ‘redemption arc’ but Thog redeeming himself to me is Notable 

who is hot af: narn.... is this even a question jfc....... also firi holy shit

who belongs in jail: murder baby Zalvetta probably but even though he belongs there, i’d never want him to end up there

who needs to be revived from the dead: Randy......... rip in pieces you beautiful angel

[myvelouri]

Kyr almost made out with me Drunkenly but it didn't happen. Absolutely didn't.

I don't want anyone else. My heart is set on my girl.

Idk if she's lying to me but she didn't video chat other dudes tonight.. but I feel off about it. Cause I think she was messaging them all night

Um

I went to hers, and I was cuddling her and I felt marks on her thighs and I said wtf, wtf wtf you said you don't cut yourself

.. I asked when??

And she said last night when she was getting me food and the cake she made for me. She cut herself when she came back and saw I was gone. I remember it being like a few moments so I have no idea how she had time to cut herself. I picked up as soon as she called because my phone sucks and she said she tried calling multiple times. I only got one call! And I started crying knowing I made her cut herself cause I left. I was so drunk and even though I was mad at her, this isn't okay. I'm so upset about it.

I actually have been so loyal to her that I didn't fuck with anyone else. Seriously, even tho I feel like I could have since she wasn't exactly loyal. For some reason I just couldn't

I won't. I want her and just her.

Um

Even when kyr tried to kiss me tonight, well, she didn't , but I felt it, she was drunkkkk and I stopped it and said oh yeeeeeaahhh I'll be back here next week blaaaah blaaah. Otherwise if I was single I'd have easily kissed her just for the fuck of it. But I didn't this time, I wouldn't, my heart can only be with one girl at a time.

Um

Kyr told her other female.friend that max was Soo cute. Dude. Max always gets the girls. He fucks all of them. They all love him. He's not that great looking imo.but kyr said she already fucked max. I said of course. Also kyr said she makes out with kihrn and kihrns husband doesn't mind her making out with girls. That's so dumb

I'm not attracted to kyr btw.

I'm not.

I was with my other buddy

Also everyone's asking if I fucked this one gal. I'm like no dudes, I'm not trying to fuck anyone.

Trust me I'm not.

My dumbass is loyal to those who don't even deserve it. Smh.