#kyman anti anti

[anthareblog]

I’M PEEING MY PANTS WHY IS THE AI A KYMAN ANTI???😭😭😭

[wemwem]

Kyman haters are trash tbh

[loobonx1]

Kyman shippers disgust me

Like they either make kyle secretly inlove with cartman (even tho cartman has discriminated him many times) or cartmans secretly inlove with kyle (even tho he's done many things so kyle to make him not liked by him)

Meanwhile, they despise eachother in the show, I guess yoai obsessed dweebs think creek isn't enough.

[breakinghorses]

I was iffy on posting this bc I have a LOT of ideas preceding and following this particular scenario and wanted to have it all finished before i shared stuff, but, eh. If I draw anymore, i’ll compile it somehow. I probs won't clean up the comics more than this though due to being busy, so u guys only get loose scribbles.

Also shoutout to @numbknee's fics for hella inspiring me enough to want to loosely play with some of their ideas/characterizations (hoping they don't mind), if u haven't read their fics, you should: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numbknee/pseuds/numbknee/works?fandom_id=35537

[cxtangerina]

k2 is such a funny ship to me, like it's just plausible enough to be kinda sorta realistic if you squint and pray and look at it sideways, not quite a crackship but not able to get off the ground as more than a particularly popular rarepair either. they had, like, one big episode together back in season 3, a handful of major moments over the years that people hold onto with an iron grip, and basically nothing else outside of a plethora of fantastic fancontent and dreams.

i think i like it for the exact opposite reasons that i like kyman, actually, they sorta stand as complementary ships in my mind. where k2 barely has any actual basis in canon & comes heavily from fanworks and speculation about how well the characters would match each other, kyman is practically canonical, at least when it comes to cartman's feelings, and is at least regularly joked about and referenced in-show. personally, i also tend to see k2 as a ship that is kinda miraculously requited, whereas kyman is usually stuck in unrequited hell, which...

...well, this gets into more specific character analysis, but a big part of this is that i tend to see cartman as having very fucked up views of both romance & sexuality that have especially interesting implications when you consider him to have a crush on kyle, specifically.

on the one hand, i think his cupid self is evidence enough that he has a very fairytale, idealized view of romance, based more out of the hollywood movie image of what love is supposed to be rather than anything in reality. south park adults being utter fucking idiots 99% of the time means that most, if not all, of the kids don't have a lot of good role models to base their actions off of. i'm not gonna talk out of my ass about childhood development more than i understand it, but i don't think it's too controversial (?) of a take to claim that kids understand & learn about the world through watching it just as much as interacting with it, particularly when it comes to their own parents.

cartman is a piece of shit, and while a lot of that comes from him and his own bigotry, he's still ultimately a kid in show and you can trace where some of his worst traits originate from in the people around him, even if he makes the personal decision to push it as much as humanly possible. i think the trend in recent seasons for many adults to try and at least appear more pc only makes this more obvious, actually (coughcoughrandy), though talking about that is maybe biting off a little more south park politics than i'm willing to chew for this particular post.

point is, cartman as a character in particular does not have a lot, if anything, to base his idea of what a healthy, happy romantic relationship looks like, which isn't only because liane is single though that may be a major contributing factor. love isn't work to cartman, it isn't about the maintenance of a relationship or communication or all the more realistic and slightly less pleasant parts of loving someone that hollywood doesn't find dramatic or interesting enough to show. rather it's a fantasy, something that happens to people that they have no real control over. i wouldn't be surprised if he believes in soulmates or love at first sight, even if the likelihood of him admitting that out loud isn't especially high.

on the other hand, i think his view of sexuality is greatly influenced by not just liane's sex work, but the way she is slut-shamed and treated like garbage by the rest of the town for it. i tend to view cartman as having a very transactional, cynical view of sex and sexuality, where sex is only used for personal gain (whether that be money or power, likely at the expense of someone else/the submissive party), and sexuality is an inherent character flaw, a weakness that must be overcome unless you are able to twist it and use it for your own (material?) benefit- see the streaming wars & cartman wanting his mom to seduce a rich man for money as a recent example of this.

it's a running gag in TFBW that cartman uses douchebag catching their dad fucking their mom as a tragic backstory, and doesn't seem to understand how reproduction actually works even when kyle basically says it straight to his fucking face. even as a joke, there's still a lot of underlying truth behind why he would believe this. cartman is aware of his mom's sex work, even if he may not want to fully admit/believe it, largely because of situations where he's specifically getting shit for it. he knows he has a father, and that he is (in)directly responsible for said father's horrible death & consumption, but he only really cares about that insofar as it means he's half ginger. sex has only ever been presented through its most vicious power dynamics to him- why would he see it as a good thing, as something that could ever be loving, especially when contrasted against such an idealized, purified view of romance?

(you could also extrapolate from this how cartman associates sexuality & romance with femininity & his brand of sexism to get some particularly delectable transfem cartman ideas, but i digress.)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that cartman having a crush on kyle (or anyone, really, but kyle is obviously the most emotionally volatile example) instantly pits those two conflicting views against one another, like he wants something that he doesn't even think could ever exist: a happy, healthy romantic relationship, where sex is just a normal thing that they can choose to do or not. this is where a lot of kyman angst comes from for me, with cartman either trying to stuff that round desire back into the square hole of how he views the world, or having his ideals fall ever further apart when the feelings are unrequited. and, on top of that, none of this being actually said out loud because communication is impossible.

this is why i always see kyman as making each other worse, especially if they actually manage to make it into a romantic relationship. i simply Do Not see kyle being a patient enough person to help cartman work through the intricacies of all of his expectations and idealized fantasies and internalized fears surrounding such mutually screwed views of romance & sexuality- on the rare occasions that kyle does show some interest in romantic relationships it's usually pretty centered around himself, and to be frank i only see his interest in romance going down as he gets older.

i've heard some people talk about kyle before like he's the "moral compass" of south park or whatever and while that may be true by the end of the episode, one of the things i like most about him is the fact that he struggles so much to get to the best conclusions. this is kind of getting back into the k2 side of this analysis, but where kenny manages a much more effortless selflessness, even pushing it to the point of being both a strength and a flaw when kenny stops caring about himself for the sake of others, kyle is a lot more self-centered than he cares to admit and it influences a lot of his attempts at being a good person.

this is both my favorite aspect of kyle, that he really has to put in the work to be the good person that he wants to be, and also the primary bad trait that i think cartman brings out of kyle. by being such a notoriously horrible shithead, he gives kyle the perfect target to unleash his annoyance on, getting him so caught up in arguing and proving himself to be the better person that kyle forgets to actually listen to the people that he's supposed to be standing up for. cartman is a fantastic troll and, at least in show, kyle definitely has not learned to stop feeding him argument fodder yet.

sidenote: about kyman entering a romantic relationship... wasn't sure where to add this, but it's for this exact reason that i also see kyman (or this version of kyman where cartman gets worse with age, rather than better) only actually happening in the universes where kyle has lost all other meaningful connections, to the point that feeding a troll to get off on an argument is the best possible option, even if he's old enough to know better. especially if he's old enough to know better.

again, k2 is the opposite of this for me in that i see kyle & kenny as having a lot of potential to bring out the best in each other.

if kyle's worst trait is that he gets too caught up in his own feelings & desires to truly be the good, selfless, thoughtful person that he wants to be to actually do genuine good for the sake of others, kenny's problem is that he skews too far in the opposite direction. i kinda already said this, but to state it outright: kenny's biggest strength and his biggest flaw are the exact same, that he is selfless to a fault, to the point of consistently putting other people's safety and happiness above his own when he thinks it would be of help the majority/the people he loves. this was the key kenny trait that was established by the end of BL&U, and it has only gotten more prominent in the years since with his mysterion persona.

it is in this way that kenny both stands as someone that kyle can look up to & admire for how effortlessly he dedicates himself to the people he cares about the most, but also, simultaneously, as someone that kyle can take care of himself and offer the same help back to. and i don't even think kenny needs to say very much out loud to push kyle towards a lot of these conclusions, he kinda just has to exist and be noticed and kyle has the intelligence to figure it out himself, to recognize the shit that kenny puts himself through and his (usually) quite noble reasons for doing so, and want to offer him the same love and care and dedication that kenny never allows himself to have.

really, the difficult part of this is being noticed at all in the first place. again, i said earlier that k2 is kinda "miraculously requited," in my mind, specifically because the aspect that's missing in the show and almost always must be provided by fan content for k2 is that spark/push forward that gets them close enough to start talking and for kyle to notice kenny in the first place. it's just lucky that's one of my favorite things to figure out and write for those two, hehehe.

[pocketherbert]

Kyman antis are actually so fucking funny

[tyranitardude]

Stumbled across this meme, and it definitely fits Kyman and Dip lmao. The former is self explanatory, and the latter is because Damien set Pip on fire.

[wendytestabrat]

bc he's retarded that's why @loobonx1

[catgirl-catboy]

"Liking X ship makes you a proshipper" FALSE. It could also make you an extremely hypocritical anti whose head is so far up your ass that you think you are the only person on earth with morals.

[c0unt-fagu1a]

Kyman Headcanons

Kyle monitors Eric's Twitter/X so he doesn't get banned

They probably watch a shit ton of movies, but Kyle heavily dislikes horror movies, and his least favorite is Human Centipede. They've watched it once, and Kyle hates it. He'd leave the room if Cartman ever tried to get him to watch it again

Kyle sends Eric an alarming amount of Instagram reels/TikToks/dumb shit when he's severely bored

Not entirely Kyman, but Eric is genderfluid (Kyle doesn't care as long as they're both comfortable)

After a while, Eric begins to read the Torah (I think that's the name of the Jewish scripture. Please correct me if I'm wrong) (and when I say after a while, I mean six months to a year)

Eric also thinks about openly converting to Judaism (he does!!)

Shockingly, Eric can cook and bake (he's a housewife fr /j)

They have like 5 million cats (2. It's 2 cats.)

Kyle always steals Eric's clothes because they're "dirty" (he wears them)

Eric wears glasses, and though he hates them, Kyle loves them

It's the same with Kyle's hair– Kyle hates his hair, but Eric is actually obsessed over it.

Kyle calls Eric "Eric" when they're alone but "Cartman" in public. He doesn't use many other pet names

Cartman uses a ton of pet names, and they're mostly obnoxious (Kyle love them)

Eric also loves PDA, whereas Kyle pretty much only likes hand holding and a kiss on the cheek in public

Kyle calling Eric "Cartman" is like your parent saying your full name for them

Cartman overexaggerating absolutely everything in their relationship

Eric is a Zodiac Girl

I suggest (later down the line):

Eric is learning how to make traditional Jewish meals, especially for holidays (like Hanukkah). He comes over one winter to celebrate with the Broflovskis. Makes a perfect Latke or whatever it's called.

Sheila isn't pleased to have him over. Kyle thinks it'll be a disaster.

Sheila is very hesitant to try the latkes. She is pleasantly shocked when it's wonderful

Also, Eric gets along with everyone in the Broflovskis family eventually.

He's a sweet and pleasant boy in front of Sheila. An absolute terror with Ike (they probably bond by gaming together), and he's worse when he and Gerald are trolling people online.

Kyle has no idea what or how Eric is getting along, but he's slightly suspicious of it, nonetheless

Eric and Sheila talk about Kyle's hair all the time.

"He's so handsome. I don't know why my little boy hides his curls."

"I know, Mrs. Broflovski. I keep telling him, but he's just so stubborn."

Everyone thinks that Eric's love language is physical touch (because of how he acts in public) it's actually acts of service

[asteria7fics]

I strongly believe that people who hate Kyle, and/or people who ship two-sided Kyman have never had someone in their friend group that they unironically could not stand, but still tried to see the good in them because having one bad friend isn't as bad as potentially having no friends at all.

Double points if that motherfucker developed a crush on you.

[jockyle]

me personally? i will never ship kyman cuz kyle is wayyyy too good for cartman 🤷🏻‍♀️

[akechi-if-he-slayed]

oh my GOD you guys are truly insufferable does it rlly pain u that much to like art of someone who also draws kyman that u have to. like go through a whole routine just to be sure they’re pure or whatever lmao

[alegitdumbass]

Tw: death threats

I hate the fact that I have to hide the fact I ship Cartters/Buttman, Kyman, (any ship with Cartman besides women and adults, not all of them tho), and other stuff (nothing triggering for me and shit and illegal), like isn't shipping supposed to be about having fun?

Not having to worthy about a certain amount of people thinking I'm a proshipper. Honestly, I don't care about proshippers or antis, just respect me and I'll do the same to you. Anyways, isn't it supposed to be about having fun? It's not fun if I have to hide my ships afraid of being called a proshipper and shit, hell, one person said "kys" to a person and I said that's not ok.

They decided to find my account on Tumblr, look through my AO3 account and then expose it out of context. All because I told them to not tell someone that.

It's stupid. Telling anyone that either way is horrible. It doesn't change anything, it doesn't do anything, and it doesn't help the situation. Also, people read the story when it says it's gonna be gross but people still read and complain. It's annoying and makes you look like an idiot.

I just had to get this off my chest cause it just pisses me off. I don't care if I get hate, I don't care anyways. I'm not hurting anyone by shipping these things, hell I don't ship anything that feels illegal or gross in my opinion.

Just leave me alone and others alone if they aren't bothering you. If you don't like their content but they're not breaking any of the rules, just block them and or the tags, it's so much easier and more nicer than causing more drama.

Thank you for reading.

[kymanismydrugy]

I just got told I should kms simply by saying “Kyman is just a ship, and it’s nothing big and you shouldn’t freak out about it.” 🥰🥰 Anyways! Look at them, they’re such silly little guys! 🥺🥺 What are they doin’??? 🥰

[roostertuftart]

I saw someone say the other day that style would never work because Kyle needs someone that challenges him and

1. Idk where you got the idea Stan doesn’t challenge Kyle because oh boy does he

2. Also like. Idk? Challenge him how? Fight with him? It’s fine if you like kyman or whatever but Kyle is a really insecure character who CRAVES having people stand by him and support him. If anything, having Stan support him more (and vice versa Kyle supporting Stan) is what their relationship needs to work, not someone who’s gonna fight with Kyle and give him a hard time constantly/leave him to fend for himself more