#kwn

[kingcities]

kwn - eyes wide open

[silkrosedawn]

eyes wide open.

[mintyrainwater]

UM Y'ALL OH MY LESBIAN GOD?!?!?

[beefcakenpinkyring]

I know you're trying your best not to think of me. I am trying my best not to text you.

It's my fault there's any type of distance between us.

I know you're not lying when you say you're depressed regardless of my absence. But I know you miss me, and I wish you didn't. I wish it was easier for you.

I can blame it on my craving for attention, for touch when it gets too hard. I don't know what to blame your attachment on.

You'd be so mad if you ever read this.

It's all my fault, it is. I have nothing to say for myself. I am the reason we're apart, in more ways than one.

I don't think I'd do anything different, truly. I would've maybe spent less time romancing you to avoid you that high of a fall. But I don't regret the texting, I don't regret the ambiguity, I don't regret the pull.

We would've never dated, I think.

I am trying to make sense of all the attraction between us. All the electricity. I don't think I can disregard any of it, but I don't think it is a sound foundation for a relationship.

Even without the guilt, even if I had healed, I don't know how long it would've lasted.

I don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you can let people in so easily. How you can trust them with your body, with your space. I am not jealous, I am not bitter, I am not judging. I am curious. I am impressed. I am a little envious.

You would've broken my heart in an eyeblink.

I miss you.

I think I miss the attention, the banter. I miss the back and forth. I miss the flirting.

I remember every negative feeling. Every moment of anxiety. Every fire limit I felt myself scorched by. Every barbed wire I dug my hands into. Every word I knew I didn't mean. Every ambiguous sentence I knew would get you going. Every extra step I could've not taken and saved you a sigh, a moan. Every confession I knew would impress you. Every gesture I knew you would hold onto. Every emotion I could read on you, from you before you even realized you felt.

I remember every hope I killed, every fantasy I nurtured, every truth I bared, every lie I spun, every fear I ceded, every joy I shared.

I remember it all. I visit it sometimes when I have to fight the urge to text you.

What would we talk about, even.

We don't know each other beyond what we want from each other. We haven't really done much more than talk about, around the improbable. The impossible, now.

Maybe the timing was wrong. Maybe I needed you to cement a title in my identity card. Maybe you're what I'll refer to when I get too comfortable blending in a system that hates my kin. You might be the only thing standing between me eternally lying to myself.

I am so fucking frustrated still.

I am numb to you, to us, because I am fucking blocking everything, every single desire, all the time, non stop.

I don't know what I feel for you because my brain takes over when my heart is so much as slightly swayed.

Do you see how easy it is for me to tell you that I want to lay you down? Do you see how often we joked about ruffling your bed, trashing your room, breaking your back? Do you see how I recoil when you mention kids, a family, a future? Have I ever joked about taking you on a date?

I am scared. I am numb. You turn me on.

It's simple. It's sensations. I am holding on to you because you make me feel good. You'll drop me soon because I haven't given you enough of that.

I am not blaming you; I am not even sad, really.

I just haven't moved on completely.

I have no one else to barf my feelings on. I have no one else to scratch the annoying itch, to answer the vulgar call.

Did I use you?

I don't think anyone ever means to be toxic, but I think I might've been with you. You were way too aware of this fact; I am not sure how you still tolerated me. It's a mystery to me how you fell for me.

I want to heal, as you said. I am not sure where to start. I won't sacrifice the things you so easily let go of. I can't just change overnight. We didn't grow up on the same advice. We don't see the same images when we're sleeping. We don't fear the same evil, we don't worship the same divine.

I wish, I wish I could live in tandem with my body.

[paraisosingular]

[itsrockinronnie]

More advanced clock repair tools for the budget minded and those of you who can afford the extra cost

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[haziihunnii]

Absolutely obsessed with this song and this woman atm

[hindisportsqanswerdotin]

KWN बनाम FPD ड्रीम 11 भविष्यवाणी, काल्पनिक क्रिकेट सुझाव, ड्रीम 11 स्टाफ, प्लेइंग इलेवन, पिच रिपोर्ट, नुकसान की जगह- ICCA अरेबियन टी 20 लीग

KWN बनाम FPD ड्रीम 11 भविष्यवाणी, काल��पनिक क्रिकेट सुझाव, ड्रीम 11 स्टाफ, प्लेइंग इलेवन, पिच रिपोर्ट, नुकसान की जगह- ICCA अरेबियन टी 20 लीग

KWN बनाम FPD ड्रीम 11 भविष्यवाणी, फैंटेसी क्रिकेट टिप्स, ड्रीम 11 टीम, प्लेइंग इलेवन, पिच रिपोर्ट, कारवान सीसी और फुट प्रिंट डिफेंडर के बीच ICCA अरेबियन टी 20 लीग मैच की चोट अपडेट। KWN बनाम FPD ICCA अरेबियन टी20 लीग मैच 58 विवरण: मिलान: कारवां सीसी बनाम फुट प्रिंट डिफेंडर्स दिनांक: 10वां दिसंबर, 2022 स्थान: आईसीसी अकादमी सभी ड्रीम11 टिप्स और फैंटेसी क्रिकेट लाइव अपडेट्स के लिए हमें क्रिकेट…

[awhirr]

kwn - Talk feat. Belis

[silkrosedawn]

eyes wide open.