#kunikida🪐

[cqthqrtic]

for the ask game: lavender and/or narcissus for kunikida or dazai :>>

yandere flower prompt.

dazai osamu.

Lavender - Would this yandere’s darling be able to sense the impending danger, or is the yandere efficient at hiding their darker side? 

Probably not. Dazai is really good at hiding his true intentions. You’d probably be able to tell something is off with him, but nothing much past that. Dazai definitely takes advantage of the fact that he’s a freak of society so he always seems off. His reputation of being strange and your preconceived ideas of him based on that reputation are factors that lull you into a false sense of security so you’ll never really know what he’s thinking. It makes it a lot easier for him to do what he wants behind the scenes.

Narcissus - Does this yandere prefer to infiltrate their darling’s life, or do they prefer to take their darling away? 

Definitely the former. Even while in the Port Mafia, with all the endless resources he has, Dazai would think approaching you with brute force is unproductive. His style is more subtle, believe it or not. He’d rather keep you comfortable and willing, so he’ll choose to infiltrate into the fabric of your life and become the center of your world. Dazai is very patient, so he has no problem taking his time to slowly mold your will into his.

kunikida doppo.

Lavender - Would this yandere’s darling be able to sense the impending danger, or is the yandere efficient at hiding their darker side? 

Kind of? I think you could sense that there’s something not quite right with how much Kunikida hovers over you but I’m not sure if it will really become bigger than that because of how much faith is put into Kunikida’s character. The people around him have a lot of trust in Kunikida’s morals and his ability to execute them so that would provide a lot of pressure to dismiss whatever discomfort you feel towards him. After all, why would a man of ideals do anything to harm you?

Narcissus - Does this yandere prefer to infiltrate their darling’s life, or do they prefer to take their darling away? 

A little bit of both. Kunikida’s main objective is keeping you safe and controlling you. He keeps a tight leash on you by using whatever professional or personal authority he has to establish control but if that isn’t enough for him (it was never going to be anyways), he’ll probably snatch you up when you’re least expecting it and keep you in some isolated cottage, where nobody will find you.

[reallyromealone]

Dazai with Kaeya male reader who is sexy as hell who always has a booba window and Dazai just puts his face in it as male reader scrolls his phone and runs his fingers through his hair

Absolutely omg

🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐

Dazai stared lovingly at the handsome man that was the agencies money man, the one who took care of all finances and ordering anything they needed. He wore a suit that fit all the way and no tie, dress shirt buttoned down to reveal his pectorals and best of all?

He was dazais boyfriend.

He was so charming and handsome and hot--

God damn it, he was in love.

(Name) had a sway when he walked and his voice made him melt.

(Name) was talking with kunikida about orders and what was in the budget "currently I have set aside 8,356 dollars for extra medical supplies and put in for a new printer and the food delivery man will be here for the by weekly snacks" he said professionally and Dazai decided he wanted attention as he koalad around (name), face in the boob window. (Name) paid no mind as he played with his hair, continuing his conversation.

This was a normal occurrence, Dazai seeking comfort from (name) anywhere he could, during work, during lunch and especially at home.

He was laying on the couch, propped up as dazai lay on him without bandages "haha stole your ability" dazai mumbled sleepily and (name) simply played with his hair "thank god I have a personal heater to help with the cold~" he gently teased the brunette who in turn playfully motorboated the accountants chest.

"Love you..."

"Love you too my koala"

[oikasugayama]

This is very, very important pookie. 🥺 I need you to know that Ranpo, Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Poe, Ango, Bram, Sigma, Tetcho, and Mark are all my lil pillow princesses.

(Would include Nikolai, Kunikida, and Tachihara, but I physically cannot see them being subby 😭🙏)

Also, lil tiny confession ig? I don’t get the hype for Jouno like at all. 😭 like, so many people ik are obsessed w him and like adore him, but I js don’t get it?? Like his character design is kinda mid and his only personality trait is being sadistic 😭😭😭 I mean he’s hot in the manga, but bones messed him up 😣 I also don’t really like Akutagawa either…I really really really wanna but I just don’t 😭😭 like he’s seems so but I just can’t like him. I think it might be character design for the two that throw me off, but also idk. Like, I don’t really like aggressive guys, but the aggressive ones that I do like are absolute little princesses ig?? Idk weird rant

-🪐

I'll fight for you Ango's hand in marriage. I'll fight absolutely anyone for it.

Idk what it is about Tachihara but his vibe is that he FUCKS. Like no way that man does not FUUUUCK. He fucks HARD.

I do like Jouno's design, I love the white hair and red tips specifically, but I agree that he doesn't have a lot of substance besides being sadistic, though he did come around briefly and say that he learned how good it feels to protect people. I hope it's only because we haven't seen the hunting dogs for long that they don't seem very rounded as characters.

You broke my heart a little. You did. It's broken. I'll need to stay in bed to recover. AKUTAGAWA? My baby boy AKUTAGAWA? Stay away from my son, he's already fragile enough 😭 /lh

[vivid-vices]

hiii, 🥤🪐🍦??

hi!!! :)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

i have an obsession with apocalypse fiction so one fic that lives in my head rent free is an skk zombie apocalypse au that isn't actually an au at all (poe's work). it's called Cross Your Heart (And Hope To Die) and it's not finished but I've read what's written so far three times.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

1. i'm in so much less pain these days, finally :)

2. i'm going on vacation in a few weeks

3. i have really good friends. and that sounds kind of silly to list but i've just been appreciating them so much lately

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

i think at this point everyone knows i don't like kunikida but he does have some really good qualities:

1. as a character concept he's fascinating. the constant war in his mind between his dedication to his ideals vs the reality of the world around him is interesting to think about

2. i enjoyed his narration in dazai's entrance exam (the light novel, which is so much better than the botched attempt at an adaptation bones did)

3. "you're a weretiger. grow some wereballs."

[cqthqrtic]

blood and vice for kunikida please ^^

warnings: mentions of murder.

yan alphabet prompt.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Kunikida is somewhat hesitant to kill people for his darling. If somebody is a direct threat to his darling, then that’s no skin off his back. But it’s a last resort kind of thing for him. Generally inflicting mild violence though? Yeah he’s totally up for that. He’s definitely kicked, punched, lightly bludgeoned, and thrown people into a hard surface for you. And he’d do it again in a heart beat! So to answer the question, Kunikida is not averse to acting with violence.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Kunikida is extremely careful about your health and safety so you’re able to use that to get small luxuries but alternatively, it can also come to bite you in the ass. Kunikida is extremely strict and paranoid so you could use that against him in order to make him susceptible to trickery. The problem with Kunikida is that he leaves no stone unturned so you have to be even more vigilant than him which is difficult to do because well, it’s Kunikida. He’s the picture of vigilance. If you’re able to make him lose his rationality and ability to think clearly, you may be able to trick him and get away. But that’s only if you’re able to utilize his own paranoia correctly. If not, Kunikida might be able to turn the tides on you and that is the last thing you want.

[cqthqrtic]

A, J, and O for Mori and Kunikida?

sfw alphabet.

mori ogai.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Mori’s affection depends on how busy he is with work. If his mind is preoccupied with the state of the mafia, the most you’ll get is a chaste kiss on the lips. On days he’s free from the fast paced happenings of the mafia, which are rare, he’ll be pretty loving and somewhat clingy. Overall though, the most common ways for Mori to show affection is through quality time and gift giving. When he has the time, he likes to take you on relaxing dates at nice (and expensive) brunch cafes, shopping at those luxury malls, and walking through quiet art museums on a weekday afternoon when few people visit. Mori’s actually a pretty good gift giver. He’s very observant and takes time choosing gifts for you. He’s not a particularly sentimental man though, so it won’t seem very romantic in the moment. He won’t write love notes in the books he buys you or engrave his name in a necklace but he’ll buy your favorite book he knows you’ll be excited to talk about with him and he’ll buy necklaces he thinks will look good on you. Mori’s a lot more subtle but he’s practical and his feelings get across.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Mori is like,,, insanely jealous and possessive. To the point where it can be a legit cause for concern. He’s mostly needy when he’s jealous and he doesn’t really see most men as a threat. So 90% of the time, he’s just pouting and whining for your attention or glaring at people who stare at you a bit too long. But when he does feel threatened, he gets quiet and sweet. There’s a dangerous glint in his eye. Next day on the morning news, there will be a report of the guy’s head found on a stick at a random park. God save us all...

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Mori keeps his cards close to his chest. Depending on the information, he’ll tell you whatever it is he thinks is appropriate to tell you over a period of time. There’s a lot he won’t tell you, regardless of how close you are to him. Especially if it’s concerning his work. Overall, Mori doesn’t view openness as a testament of love and his secretive nature will remain throughout the relationship, regardless of how you might feel about it.

kunikida doppo.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Kunikida is actually pretty affectionate, he’s just not affectionate in the typical sense. He shows his love by almost “mothering” the people he cares about and remembering the little things. The most common form of affection Kunikida gives is looking after your diet. He often makes lunch for you in the mornings while you get ready and makes sure that it’s both delicious and well balanced. Kunikida is also pretty observant of the people he likes. He’s often checking in on you and while he can be brash while doing so, he has good intentions and takes care of you. He wants to lessen your burdens and shoulder them with you. That’s Kunikida’s way of saying he loves you. He’s quite a romantic!

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Kunikida is comical when jealous. He thinks of himself as being above jealousy and that it’s something only mentally weak people succumb to. So when he experiences it himself? Oh, he is suffering. Kunikida’s coping mechanism is mostly through denial and distraction. Of course, Dazai picks up on this and riles him up by saying “Oh that other man is just so strong, isn’t he?” or “Doesn’t the other man have such impressive ideas?”. After some torment from Dazai, Kunikida will become very snappy and sulky. Please baby him a bit when he comes home. Kunikida won’t act on his jealousy though. He’s too ashamed for that and he’ll avoid taking it out on you. So there’s not much to worry about on this front.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Kunikida has a lot of pride and a lot of shame. He wants to look his best in front of you. He wants to be able to stand tall and never let you see him falter. But obviously, that isn’t realistic. It will take some time but not too much time. The pressure to seem perfect and unbothered around you will cause him to break down and all of his worries and burdens and weaknesses will come flooding out. He’ll be greatly ashamed when it happens but after consistent assurance and love, Kunikida will feel more comfortable being vulnerable. He’ll still be a little embarrassed though. 

[oikasugayama]

Omg I’m so eepy and it’s so late rn (no it’s not, it’s like 8:50 pm) but I HAVEEE to get this out 😿

First!! I’m gonna beat Fyodor for not letting me cling to him 😡😡😡 he’s so mean to me 😞😞😔😔

AND SECOND (the actual reason behind my ask!!) SO I’VE HAD THIS LIL THOUGHT FOR SO LONG AND NEED TO KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE AGREES!! Okay, so like I feel like Kunikida just had this like…pure fascination and attraction to alt people…like ESPECIALLY goths 🤭😍 like, he totally just admires people being different and showing off who they are, not caring abt anyone’s “comfort”. Also feel like he’d think they’re super brave. I js imagine him being like the stereotypical casually dressed, normal guy, bf with a gothic or emo partner who overdresses for everything. He’d totally love it too 😭

I feel like I’ve said smth like this before but idk so whatever 😭

Also, it’s so silly how a lot of the things I’ve said have been about him despite the fact he’s not my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, I adore him sm but out of every single character Ranpo is highkey my favorite. Like he’s so me. I AM Ranpo 😭🙏 my favs prolly go Ranpo #1, then Fyodor, Chuuya, Kunikida, and Nikolai in some random order (I totally don’t have a type 😿)

-🪐

This has been buried in my ask box and I'm so sorry 🪐 anon

Kunikida 🤝 Chuuya

Having a crush on Akutagawa's BTGGF

Kunikida and Chuuya have a lot alike in terms of who they like....bc they're both definitely into alt and goth styles, but for diff reasons. Kunikida isn't in that scene at all but he's fascinated when he sees a really beautiful person walk by in this very specific tailored outfit. If he gets to talk to them and spend time with them he'd come to really respect their dedication to their style and the discipline it takes to put together such all-consuming styles.

My favs have been the same since I got into the show, I'm definitely still top 3 Ango, Akutagawa, Kunikida, and I also think Dazai and Nikolai are hot and I ship ranpoe harddddd

[oikasugayama]

AHHH ITS BEEN SO LONG SENSE IVE BEEN ON HERE 😦😦

1!!! The Kunikida thing was so good bro 🤭🤭🤭

2!!! Omg pookie take your time fr 🫶 if you don’t wanna do the series, then don’t. If you wanna do it, do it. 💯 you don’t owe us or anyone anything!!

So anyway 😍😝 this is like my first time opening tumblr in a while 😭 things haven’t exactly been going the way I want (I’m sick and that January depression is kicking in 🤞)but fuck it we ball 🔥

-🪐

Thank you!! For the compliment and the support. I may pick it up occasionally but I'm Also dealing with that January depression so not a lot is getting done 🥹 in any aspect 🥹

[oikasugayama]

AHHHAKSJBDJD POOKIE!!! THE SKK x DAZAIS GF FIC IS SO GOOD UAHSBDJUDSJSJWKBD SCREAMIBGGJSJFJF

Ngl- highkey I see you post a smutty fic, read it, and get jump scared when I remember that you actually write that stuff 😭 like idk how to explain it?? The way that we (us anons 🫶) talk to you is so like silly and childish, so it’s weird remembering that you actually do write serious stuff 😭😭

BUT STILL I TOTALLY EAT THEM UP LIKE THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN AND YUMMY! 🤭🤭

Also you’re so real for that like literally Kunikida serves the most cunt 🫶🫶

Tbh, I NEED HIM RELIGIOUSLY 😫😫😍😍🤭🤭☺️☺️🫶🫶

-🪐

First, THANK YOU!!!!!!!

This is literally one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I am so unserious until I sit at that keyboard then I'm a Writer™️ this is also known as "the duality of woman 💅🏼"

[oikasugayama]

AHHH POOKIE IM LITERALLY DOING JUMPING JACKS ABD CARTWHEELS RN SO EXCITED FOR THE SUBMISSIVE MEN SERIES OMGG 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ LIKE OMGGGG WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH IMMA EAT THEM UP 🤭🤭🤭

Also I’m super excited that Kunikida’s is coming soon bc I’m very interested in how other people would see him being submissive bc literally I see him as like the most dominant brat tamer or service dom EVER. But like hear me out…giving him head when he’s super stressed 🤭🤭🤭😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

-🪐

YAYYYY I'M SO EXCITED THAT YOU'RE SO EXCITED!!!!

i literally think kunikida is the baddest bitch there, like he's responsible and he has long hair AND glasses? serving cunt on the daily? listen i'd fuck ango any day but i would marry kunikida without a doubt in my mind.

you're so right that he is absolutely a brat tamer (thanks dazai for proving it to everyone) and a service dom BUT this series is largely about taking the characters out of their elements. i want everyone to still be in-character but i think even the dommiest of doms could be a submissive for one night if their long-term partenr asked them to and they planned it out <3

there's so much more i want to write for kunikida, but i have new ideas for a dozen characters every week so it's so hard to actually make any progress on my "to write" list when it grows exponentially every day lmfao

[cqthqrtic]

Yandere Headcannons: Kunikida Doppo.

a/n: hope you enjoy! requested by @your-fave-jewish-magical-girl !! also i wanted to say that this is the last yandere piece i’ll be writing. yandere isn’t something i really enjoy writing anymore ://

warnings: stalking, non-sexual violations of boundaries and consent, delusion, loss of agency, kidnapping, captivity, abuse, controlling behaviors.

!! dark content, read at your own risk !!

kunikida doppo.

🪐 Kunikida genuinely believes he’s doing the right thing when he kidnaps you and stalks you. He genuinely believes that keeping you captive is keeping you safe. He’s a protective delusional type that’s cracked underneath the pressure of witnessing the worst parts of humanity and the world.

🪐 He doesn’t trust your judgement in the slightest and kind of looks down on you. He thinks you’re too naïve to live without him.

🪐 Extremely controlling, down to what food you eat and what time you sleep. He’s obsessed with keeping you healthy and keeping you in a routine that he believes will benefit you.

🪐He doubles checks your clothing to make sure nothing strange is sewn in, refuses to let you eat food that he didn’t cook, won’t let you do chores he deems is too dangerous. He goes overboard as you can see💀

🪐 He also has cameras all over his apartment. He had to move out of the dorms right before kidnapping you so that the others wouldn’t know.

🪐Kunikida keeps you on a strict and tight schedule. You wake up when he tells you to, eat when he tells you to, and sleep when he tells you to. When he’s not there, you’re basically a housewife. You clean a little, cook a little (not really, you just use the microwave and electric kettle), read some of the books he bought for you, and watch some movies.

🪐 You get no internet access. Kunikida doesn’t trust you enough for that and he worries about hackers, predators, and scammers. It’s not until Katai tells him about software that lets parents keep an eye on their kids that Kunikida considers letting you have some internet access, mostly for things like netflix and spotify.

🪐 He won’t ever drug you, he’s far too afraid of that he’ll accidentally kill you. The way he got you in his grasp was by lying to you about a threat and luring you to his apartment. You really should be careful about whose home you go to in the middle of the night.

🪐 If you were ever in danger, Kunikida would snap. Once again, his obsession with you is driven by his trauma surrounding his work and all the things he’s witnessed. He’s able to justify all of his actions with the idea that it’s for your safety. If you were ever in danger, he’d break. Kunikida would kill and kill until you’re safe in his arms.

🪐Afterwards, he would become even more vigilant with your safety, not even letting you leave your room and keeping you chained to a wall. He’d even consider having Yosano chip you.

🪐 Speaking of Yosano, she’s the only member of the ADA he allows you to meet. Ranpo would automatically know what’s happening if he saw you (assuming he doesn’t already), Dazai’s a weirdo and Kunikida doesn’t know what he’ll do, Kunikida respect’s the president too much and is afraid of what he’ll say if he knew about you, and the rest he simply doesn’t trust.

🪐 He has Yosano do weekly health checkups with you in his apartment to make sure you’re in tip top shape. Kunikida will be damned if you die from disease or failing health.

🪐Yosano probably has suspicions but she’ll keep quiet, mostly for Kunikida’s sake. She knows he won’t hurt you.

🪐Kunikida keeps her away as much as he can though, out of fear she’ll take you away.

🪐 Kunikida really doesn’t like to hurt people so he’d avoid harming anyone in general. He’ll definitely be willing to intimidate anybody who he deems unsafe (which is like 95% of the population), but he’s not really gonna kill anyone if he doesn’t deem it necessary.

🪐Depending on who the person is, Kunikida miiight brutally maim the person though lol.

🪐 He keeps you extremely isolated and almost completely inside. He will let you go outside under his watchful eye, mostly in isolated places full of nature like the woods or some closed off beach early in the morning.

🪐 Kunikida would sooner carve a pound of flesh out of his body than EVER give up on you. You’re his ride or die, one of the last threads of attachment he has to the mortal plane.

🪐Remember, the reason for his obsession is because he needs something to keep him going after all the horrors he’s witnessed. Kunikida is a very idealistic person as we know and with that comes the weight of knowing that his ideals will be constantly tested. Eventually the weight will break him and that’s why you’re his lifeline. You give him the strength to shoulder the weight of his ideals so he must do anything and everything to protect you. No cost is too great if it’s you.

🪐 Should you ever find yourself in a relationship, whether it’s budding or well established, Kunikida will go absolutely batshit bonkers with jealousy. He’ll tell himself he’s worried that the other person has bad intentions but to be honest, he’s just coping LMAO.

🪐Kunikida will find time to stalk and eventually interrogate your lover to see what kind of trickery they’re doing. If he can’t find any dirt on your lover, he’ll create it. He’ll convince himself that it’s for your own good! That everyone in the world is out to get you and the only one who could treat you right is him.

🪐In actuality though, he’s coping and seething; the man is “in love” (read: unhealthily obsessed) with you and wants you all to himself but can’t morally justify any of his actions with such a selfish reason.

🪐Overall, Kunikida is less of a threat physically and more of a threat mentally. He’s a sufffocating yandere who leaves no room for your own agency. But he is relatively tame in comparison to the others and he will never physically hurt you.

[cqthqrtic]

Hey again. I would like to see Kunikida with The Moon, The Tower and The Devil

warnings: loss of agency, kidnapping, captivity, non-sexual violations of boundaries, chipping somebody, stalking, murder.

The Moon - Is this yandere sensitive to what their darling says or does? If not, why don’t they care? 

Kunikida does care about your opinion and he does care about what you have to say. He’ll even take it into consideration! However, your supposed “needs” and safety override anything you have to say. If you cry because you want to see your family, Kunikida will feel guilty and try to comfort you however he can but he won’t budge. To him, his perception of what your needs are outrank your wants and what you say your needs are. He thinks he knows best so he’ll dictate what goes on.

The Tower - If this yandere saw their darling in danger, how would they respond/react? 

Kunikida would lose it if you were ever in danger. He would drop everything and run to wherever you are, like a wild wolf on a hunt. He’s willing to do anything and everything to make sure you’re back safe in his arms, whether that’s killing somebody or leaving somebody to die. At this moment, his ideals are at the back of his mind. Everything else doesn’t exist, just you.

The Devil - What taboo things would this yandere do to their darling? 

Kunikida doesn’t really do much in comparison to the other yanderes. He’s pretty tame when compared to them but that’s like saying a middle schooler is the tallest child in a room of pre schoolers. The most taboo things Kunikida would really do is have Yosano install a chip into your arm so he’d know where you were at all times. It doesn’t matter where you are, Kunikida will know and will find you. It’s very difficult to escape his suffocating grasp.

[cqthqrtic]

Birthday Surprise

characters: dazai osamu and fyodor dostoyevsky.

warnings: just fluff.

a/n: requested by anon. i don’t write for fukuzawa !! please read all of my navi before requesting <3 i know you said you wanted headcannons but i misread the ask and ended up writing a short drabble😭 i’m so sorry !! i hope you enjoy nonetheless !! i also forgot to edit this </3 i hope you enjoy !! personally i’m not a fan of how i wrote fyodor’s but oh well.

dazai osamu.

🪐Hiding something from Dazai is no easy task, but it isn’t impossible. As long as you buy the gift when he’s busy and hide it outside of your home, he’ll likely not see it at all.

🪐Don’t bring up his birthday either, he’ll know immediately.

🪐However, knowing him, it may backfire😭😭

Your plan was supposed to be flawless. You did everything right! You went to the art shop to buy his gift while he was away on a difficult mission two months ago. You had gotten him a palette of watercolors, a small set of brushes, and a pad of watercolor paper. Afterwards, you wrapped his gift in newspaper, stowed it away in a box, and hid the box in the very bottom drawer of your desk under two notebooks! And yet here you are, staring at Dazai, who is sitting at your desk and holding your birthday present with a bemused smile.

“What the hell?” you whine. “Your birthday is in two days! All you had to do was wait two days!”

He laughs, leaning back into your office chair.

“I really had no idea! When did you get this?” Dazai asks, all while looking at the colors in the palette. You click your tongue.

“Two months ago while you and Kunikida were solving that lawyer’s murder case,” you grumble. He hums.

“You got me this because I told you about how I used to like painting when I was younger, right?” he says, looking up at you. You sign and nod. You’re standing next to him, leaning against one end of your desk. Dazai grins wolfishly at you before grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his lap.

He kisses the spot behind your ear, then trails his lips up your jawline. Presses another kiss to your cheek, then your temple. He gently moves your face to face his. He kisses the tip of your nose. He looks into your eyes.

“Thank you, precious,” Dazai murmurs before finally placing a soft kiss on your lips.

fyodor dostoyevsky.

🪐Tricking Fyodor is nearly impossible. The man keeps a close eye on you!

🪐The best course of action is to get a fake gift to throw him off your scent and hide the real gift somewhere else. You may need to get the real gift through somebody else.

Fyodor doesn’t like what he’s looking at. On his desk sits a plaster white ceramic rat statue the size of his hand. He stares at it with narrowed eyes and a slight scowl. The light of the monitors in front of him illuminate the ceramic rodent almost mockingly. He found the pest hiding away in your pants drawer and connected the dots immediately. Fyodor had found your birthday gift for him. His birthday is in a mere week and all you plan to give him is a cheap, ceramic rat barely the size of his hand? He signs.

Fyodor taps away at his keyboard, messaging you to come to his office immediately.

When you arrive, he doesn’t look at you. The room is cold and you feel goosebumps rise. You clear your throat. Fyodor still doesn’t look at you.

“Dearest,” he says coldly. If it weren’t already freezing, you’re sure you would start sweating bullets.

“Yes?” you respond. He finally turns to you with the ceramic rat in his hand.

“What is this?” he asks, his eyes piercing into you. Your breath hitches in your throat.

“A ceramic rat?” you say. He hums.

“And what was it doing in your dresser?” he asks coldly.

“Why do you think it was in my dresser?” you ask slowly. Fyodor raises an eyebrow. He sighs.

“I’ll be waiting for you to buy me a proper birthday present by next week,” he says as he turns back to his monitors. “You may leave now.”

As you leave, you fight back a smile. He doesn’t know about his real present yet. Your plan succeeded.

As you start turning the doorknob, Fyodor interrupts you.

“Oh and dearest? As clever as this plan of yours was, I must say that hiding a violin under the floorboards, even in its case, is still unwise and may damage the body. Be sure to hide my real present in a safe place next time, my love,” he says with a small smile.

Oh.

He just wanted to mess with you.

Of course he fucking did.

[cqthqrtic]

Can we get some Yandere headcannons for Yandere Kunikida or Yandere Ranpo?

yep !! here u go 🪐