#kristina shirley

[teenmomcentral]

[billboard-hotties-tourney]

Okay, folks, the mini-tourney is inching closer to the finals, so I'm going to give a list of the competitors in the Miss Billboard Tourney in order to give everyone a chance to submit more propaganda. The nominees are:

Lale Andersen

Marian Anderson

Signe Toly Anderson

Julie Andrews

LaVerne Andrews

Maxene Andrews

Patty Andrews

Ann-Margret

Joan Armatrading

Dorothy Ashby

Joan Baez

Pearl Bailey

Belle Baker

Josephine Baker

LaVern Baker

Florence Ballard

Brigitte Bardot

Eileen Barton

Fontella Bass

Shirley Bassey

Maggie Bell

Lola Beltran

Ivy Benson

Gladys Bentley

Jane Birkin

Cilla Black

Ronee Blakley

Teresa Brewer

Anne Briggs

Ruth Brown

Joyce Bryant

Vashti Bunyan

Kate Bush

Montserrat Caballe

Maria Callas

Blanche Calloway

Wendy Carlos

Cathy Carr

Raffaella Carra

Diahann Carroll

Karen Carpenter

June Carter Cash

Charo

Cher

Meg Christian

Gigliola Cinquetti

Petula Clark

Merry Clayton

Patsy Cline

Rosemary Clooney

Natalie Cole

Judy Collins

Alice Coltrane

Betty Comden

Barbara Cook

Rita Coolidge

Gal Costa

Ida Cox

Karen Dalton

Marie-Louise Damien

Betty Davis

Jinx Dawson

Doris Day

Blossom Dearie

Kiki Dee

Lucienne Delyle

Sandy Denny

Jackie DeShannon

Gwen Dickey

Marlene Dietrich

Marie-France Dufour

Julie Driscoll

Yvonne Elliman

Cass Elliot

Maureen Evans

Agnetha Faeltskog

Marianne Faithfull

Mimi Farina

Max Feldman

Gracie Fields

Ella Fitzgerald

Roberta Flack

Lita Ford

Connie Francis

Aretha Franklin

France Gall

Judy Garland

Crystal Gayle

Gloria Gaynor

Bobbie Gentry

Astrud Gilberto

Donna Jean Godchaux

Lesley Gore

Eydie Gorme

Margo Guryan

Sheila Guyse

Nina Hagen

Francoise Hardy

Emmylou Harris

Debbie Harry

Annie Haslam

Billie Holiday

Mary Hopkin

Lena Horne

Helen Humes

Betty Hutton

Janis Ian

Mahalia Jackson

Wanda Jackson

Etta James

Joan Jett

Bessie Jones

Etta Jones

Gloria Jones

Grace Jones

Shirley Jones

Tamiko Jones

Janis Joplin

Barbara Keith

Carole King

Eartha Kitt

Chaka Khan

Hildegard Knef

Gladys Knight

Sonja Kristina

Patti Labelle

Cleo Laine

Nicolette Larson

Daliah Lavi

Vicky Leandros

Peggy Lee

Rita Lee

Alis Lesley

Barbara Lewis

Abbey Lincoln

Melba Liston

Julie London

Darlene Love

Lulu

Anni-Frid Lyngstad

Barbara Lynn

Loretta Lynn

Vera Lynn

Siw Malmkvist

Lata Mangeshkar

Linda McCartney

Kate McGarrigle

Christie McVie

Bette Midler

Jean Millington

June Millington

Liza Minnelli

Carmen Miranda

Joni Mitchell

Liz Mitchell

Marion Montgomery

Lee Morse

Nana Mouskouri

Anne Murray

Wenche Myhre

Holly Near

Olivia Newton-John

Stevie Nicks

Nico

Laura Nyro

Virginia O’Brien

Odetta

Yoko Ono

Shirley Owens

Patti Page

Dolly Parton

Freda Payne

Michelle Phillips

Edith Piaf

Ruth Pointer

Leontyne Price

Suzi Quatro

Gertrude Rainey

Bonnie Raitt

Carline Ray

Helen Reddy

Della Reese

Martha Reeves

June Richmond

Jeannie C. Riley

Minnie Riperton

Jean Ritchie

Chita Rivera

Clara Rockmore

Linda Ronstadt

Marianne Rosenberg

Diana Ross

Anna Russell

Melanie Safka

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Samantha Sang

Pattie Santos

Hazel Scott

Doreen Shaffer

Jackie Shane

Marlena Shaw

Sandie Shaw

Dinah Shore

Judee Sill

Carly Simon

Nina Simone

Nancy Sinatra

Siouxsie Sioux

Grace Slick

Bessie Smith

Mamie Smith

Patti Smith

Ethel Smyth

Mercedes Sosa

Ronnie Spector

Dusty Springfield

Mavis Staples

Candi Staton

Barbra Streisand

Poly Styrene

Maxine Sullivan

Donna Summer

Pat Suzuki

Norma Tanega

Tammi Terrell

Sister Rosetta Tharpe

Big Mama Thornton

Mary Travers

Moe Tucker

Tina Turner

Twiggy

Bonnie Tyler

Sylvia Tyson

Sarah Vaughan

Sylvie Vartan

Mariska Veres

Akiko Wada

Claire Waldoff

Jennifer Warnes

Dee Dee Warwick

Dionne Warwick

Dinah Washington

Ethel Waters

Elisabeth Welch

Kitty Wells

Mary Wells

Juliane Werding

Tina Weymouth

Cris Williamson

Ann Wilson

Mary Wilson

Nancy Wilson

Anna Mae Winburn

Syreeta Wright

Tammy Wynette

Nan Wynn

Those in italics have five or more pieces of usable visual, written, or audio propaganda already. If you have any visuals like photos or videos, or if you have something to say in words, submit it to this blog before round one begins on June 25th!

If you don't see a name you submitted here, it's because most or all of their career was as a child/they were too young for the cutoff, their career was almost entirely after 1979, or music was something they only dabbled in and are hardly known for. There are quite a few ladies on the list whose primary career wasn't "recording artist" or "live musician," but released several albums or were in musical theater, so they've been accepted.

[l-a-breeze]

Female & Female fronted Alternative Music List

I tried to compile some of the female musicians and female fronted bands I like. I didn't include extremely well known bands like Arch Enemy or Bikini Kill in this list, since you probably know them anyway. I don't know all of the listed bands super well, but tried to at least roughly backround check them.

I will add to the list in the future probably (I especially want to add more acts in different languages) and would love to hear your suggestions! ☺

Metal

Myrkur (Folk/Black Metal, female solo artist)

Ashtar (Black Metal, female solo artist since 2023)

Gallhammer (Black/Doom Metal, female duo)

Astarte (Black Metal, all female band)

Asagraum (Black Metal, all female band)

Chelsea Wolfe (Noise Rock/Doom Metal, female solo artist, also part of female duo Mrs. Piss)

King Woman (Doom Metal/Experimental Noise, solo project of Kristina Esfandiari, who has a bunch of other projects as well)

Darkher (Gothic Metal, female fronted)

Folterkammer* (Black/Opera Metal, female fronted)

Bathsheba (Doom Metal, female fronted)

Hela (Doom Metal, female fronted)

Generally if you are looking for female fronted metal you are most likely to find it in Doom, Gothic, Folk, Power and Opera Metal.

*Disclaimer about Folterkammer because they sing in German: Personally I love their first album (Die Lederpredigt) with it's varying lyrical themes, many of which are about some sort of malicious female devil. However the singles from "Weibermacht" (Women's Might) seems to be mostly about BDSM, which is very disappinting to me personally.

Rock/Punk

Deap Valley (Alt/Garage Rock, all female band)

Gully Boys (Indie/Punk/Garage, all female band)

Nostalghia (Alt Rock, female solo artist)

Emma Ruth Rundle (Post-Rock, female solo artist)

Jack off Jill (Alt Rock/Riot Grrrl, all female band)

Queenadreena (Alt Rock, almost all female band)

The Huntress and Holder of Hands (Post-Metal/Alt Rock, partly female band)

Angelfish (Alt rock, female fronted by Shirley Manson of Garbage)

Rosegarden Funeral Party (Post-Punk, female fronted)

Throwing Muses (Alt Rock, female fronted)

Darkwave/Electronica

Hante. (Darkwave, female solo artist, also part of all female duo Minuit Machine)

Kælan Mikla (Darkwave/Coldwave, all female band)

Void Vision (Darkwave/synth, female solo artist)

Sally Dige (Darkwave, female solo artist)

Winter Severity Index (Coldwave, all female band)

Alice Glass (Electronic, female solo artist)

Foie Gras (Noise/Drone, female solo project)

Honorable Mentions & Artists I Didn't Know Where Else To Put

Kaleida (Synthpop, female duo)

NINA (Synthwave/Synthpop, female solo artist)

Fifi Rong (Alt Pop, female solo artist)

Makthaverskan (Indie Pop/Post-Punk, female fronted)

Corpo-Mente (Dark Opera?, female fronted)

Emilie Autumn (Electronica/Classical/Industrial, female solo artist)

Josie Pace (Alt Rock/Industrial Pop, female solo artist)

[femslashrevolution]

Popular Pairing List Update

The following pairings have more than 10 recent posts in their pairing tag, and are therefore too popular to be posted on Rarepair Thursdays:

Aerith Gainsborough x Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy)

Amelia Collins x Zoe Miller (Class of '07)

Anaïs Davis x Bobbie De Bruyn (wtFOCK)

Aninlaphat Sawetwarit x Pilanthita Kasidit (The Loyal Pin)

Anna x Elsa (Disney Princesses)

Applejack x Fluttershy (My Little Pony)

Azula x Ty Lee (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Barbara Holland x Nancy Wheeler (Stranger Things)

Bérénice Leblond x Carla Furiani (Ici tout commence)

Blaze x Kristina Corinthos Davis (General Hospital)

Buffy Summers x Cordelia Chase (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Cady Heron x Regina George (Mean Girls; Mean Girls Musical)

Cate Randa x May Olowe Hewitt (Monarch: Legacy of Monsters)

Clary Fray x Isabelle Lightwood (The Mortal Instruments)

Darcy Lewis x Wanda Maximoff (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Delia Ketchum x Jessie (Pokemon)

Dorcas Meadowes x Marlene McKinnon (Harry Potter)

Dorcas Meadowes x Narcissa Malfoy (Harry Potter)

Earth x Sun (23.5)

Eileen Dunlop x Rebecca (Eileen)

Eve Unwin x Suki Panesar (Eastenders)

Falin Touden x Marcille Donato (Delicious in Dungeon)

Fluttershy x Rarity (My Little Pony)

Ginny Weasley x Pansy Parkinson (Harry Potter)

Gwen Runck x Nikki (That 90's Show)

Gwen Stacy x Mary Jane Watson (Marvel Comics)

Jack Danvers x Keeley Jones (Ted Lasso)

Kristi Miller x Marielle (From)

Harper Row x Stephanie Brown (DCU; Gotham Knights)

Harumoto Itsuki x Hayashi Fuyu (Chaser Game W)

Ink x Pa (Bad Buddy)

Jamie x Marian (Drive-Away Dolls)

Jiang Zhaoyun x Lan Ze (Legend of Yunze)

Lady Hideko x Sook Hee (The Handmaiden)

Luce x Rachel (Imagine Me & You)

Margaery Tyrell x Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Padmé Amidala x Sabé (Star Wars)

Prang x Warang (Love Senior)

Sabine Wren x Shin Hati (Star Wars)

The following pairings have been posted less frequently recently, and have therefore been removed from the popular pairing list:

AJ Campos x Paige Evans (Crush)

Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU)

Amalia True x Penance Adair (The Nevers)

Amanita Caplan x Nomi Marks (Sense8)

Ana Servín x Mariana Herrera (Madre sólo hay dos)

Anne Shirley x Diana Barry (Anne of Green Gables; Anne With An E)

Ava Coleman x Janine Teagues (Abbott Elementary)

Beca Mitchell x Chloe Beale (Pitch Perfect)

Becky Baker x Imogen Moreno (Degrassi: The Next Generation)

Bette Porter x Tina Kennard (The L Word)

Casey Gardner x Izzie (Atypical)

Deena Johnson x Samantha Fraser (Fear Street)

Eleanor Levetan x Gabbi Broussard (Do Revenge)

Frankie Bergstein x Grace Hanson (Grace and Frankie)

Frannie Langton x Marguerite Benham (The Confessions of Frannie Langton)

Héloïse x Marianne (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)

Imogen Temult x Laudna (Critical Role)

Jen Harding x Judy Hale (Dead to Me)

Jules Vaughn x Rue Bennett (Euphoria)

Keeley Jones x Rebecca Welton (Ted Lasso)

Malini x Priya (The Jasmine Throne)

Maria Hill x Natasha Romanoff (Marvel Cinematic Universe; Marvel Comics)

Riri Williams x Shuri (Marvel Cinematic Universe; Marvel Comics)

Shelby Goodkind x Toni Shalifoe (The Wilds)

[loverslibraries]

All the Books I've Read in 2023:

(I tried to make these as in order as possible. To see my current reads, check me out on Goodreads or Storygraph. Here's the twitter thread this was adapted off of.)

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

a larry fanfiction (I'm embarrased but i'm counting it)

Color Decoder by Dorothye Parker

The Lightening Thief by Rick Riordan

The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan

The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan

The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan

A Court of Thornes and Roses by Sarah J Maas (audiobook parts 1 and 2)

another larry fanfiction SHUT UP

The Outsiders by SE Hinton

Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James SHUT UP

By the Book by Jasmine Guillory

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok

How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X Kendi

The Invisible Life Of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab

The Leading Brain by Friederike Fabritius

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien

The Lonely Hearts Book Club by Lucy Gilmor

Less by Andrew Sean Greer

Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin

The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Sold On A Monday by Kristina McMorris

Heartstopper Vol 1

Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake

In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

The Wicked King by Holly Black

larry fanfiction SILENCE

If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

Trixie and Katya's Guide To Modern Womanhood

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

The Wrong Girl by Hank Phillippi Ryan

The Will of the Many by James Islington

The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Murder in the Family by Cara Hunter

Weyward by Emilia Hart

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Bunny by Mona Awad

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

My Year Of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

Flight by Lynn Steger Strong

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Blood Heir by Amelie Wen Zhao

Palestine Speaks by Cate Malek and Mateo Hoke

Thunderbird Book One by Sonia Nimr

The Only One Left by Riley Sager

Red Tigress by Amelie Wen Zhao

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Crimson Reign by Amelie Wen Zhao

[seositetool]

What Amber Portwood Thinks of Gary Shirley’s Wife Possibly Adopting Leah

Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic ; Courtesy of Gary Shirley/Instagram Amber Portwood isn’t on board with the idea that her daughter Leah could be adopted by Gary Shirley’s wife Kristina. “Having Kristina adopt Leah would never happen on Amber’s watch,” a source exclusively shared with Us Weekly. “She wants to be in Leah’s life. She is not looking to hand off parental responsibility to somebody else.” On…

[sporadiceagleheart]

2024 tribute to Sara Alhashimi andher angels, Emilie Labadie, Moa Leontine Björk, Gabriella Green, Maranda Gail Mathis, Eliahna Torres, Nevaeh Bravo, Layla Salazar, Jackie Cazares, Makenna Lee Elrod, Jayce Carmelo Luevanos, Jailah Nicole Silguero, Alexandria Rubio, Shirley Temple and baby Leroy, Maite Rodriguez, Saffie-Rose Brenda Roussos, Star Hobson, Emilie Alice Parker, Catherine Violet Hubbard and Caroline Previdi, Skylar Annette Neese, Ava Jordan Wood, Semina Mary Halliwell, Aubreigh Paige Wyatt, Tristyn Bailey, Henry Boswell, Darla Jean Hood, Jean Darling, Mary Ann Jackson, Dorothy DeBorba, Nelly Hayward, Gregory Smart, Kristin Denise Smart, Neveah Mary Smith Holata, Kaitlyn Marie Smith, Brianna Rachelle Smith, Katarina Jacquelyn “Kat” Moller, Katherine Jean “Kat” Shelton, Katerra Lea “Kat” Harper, Mallory Madison Beach, Mallory Rose “Mal” Grossman, Krystal Lyn Naab, Krystal D Pomante, Krystal Ann Mello, Krystal Dawn Christenbury, Josalyn Marie Taylor-Rolle, Kristina Paula Schultz, Angelina Costello, Angelina “Gina” Aćimović, Adriana “Adri” Dukić, Megan Tyler Stewart, William Shakespeare, Lawrence Oates, Louis XVII, Wilbur Lawrence Oates, Raphael, Raphael, Francisco Pizarro, Mary Tudor, David Rittenhouse, George IV, Edith Fellows, Julian the Apostate, Avdotia Ilyinichna Istomina Ekunina, Andrew Jackson Donelson, Michael Vaillancourt Aris, Belle Starr, Rosie Lee Reed, Annie Oakley, Eleanor Dumont, Big Nose Kate, Mattie Blaylock, Urilla Sutherland Earp, Virginia Ann Earp,

[idahobob]

Kathmandu - Summer Never Sleeps from Daniel Warwick on Vimeo.

Music / 'Jimmy, Renda-Se‘ by Tom Zé Director / Daniel Warwick DoP / Jan David Günther

Production Company / Scoundrel Exec Producer / Adrian Shapiro Producer / Morgan Benson Taylor

Editor / Adam Wills

Client / Kathmandu Client CCO / Eva Barrett Client Head of Global Brand Comms / Michaela Clark Client Global Head of Social Media / Shailyn Shah Creative Agency / Special Group New Zealand Chief Creative Officer / Tony Bradbourne Executive Producer / Sally Lankshear Senior Producer / Casey King Executive Creative Director / Lisa Fedyszyn & Jonathan McMahon Creative Director / David Shirley Associate Creative Director / Julia Ferrier

Storyboards / Otto Wiezorek

Cast Duc Jeremy Vu Oscar Kapoya Bobbie Twaddle Julia Aguilar Tjaša Žibert (The fantastic Mrs Fox) Abiola Efunshile Egshing Varga Eva Mauricio Kani Obelga Matej Pusnik (Mr Merman)

1st AD / Nikolaus Sauer 2nd AD / Nataša Uzunović Choreographer / Erik Bukovnik

Service Production / Bas Productions Service Exec Producer / Andrej Caruso Line Producer / Luka Jauh Production Manager / Patrik Šimenc Production Coordinator / Martina Crnkovic Unit/Set PA / Sebastjan Logar Unit/Set PA / Blaž Pogačar TC/Prod. Driver #1 / Andrej Repovž

Location Manager SLO / Blaž Bačar Location Manager IT / Miha Repič

Production Designer / Miha Knific & Lara Štefančič Art Director / Lara Štefančič Prop on Set / Žan Kalan

Stylist / Tina Tanko Stylist Assistant / Suzana Bićanić

Make Up Artist / Nastja Pestivšek Make Up Artist Assistant / Kristina Mandić Hair Stylist / Borut Novak

1st AC / Pavel Kurak Loader / Jan Skriecka 2nd AC / Luka Podobnikar Video Assist / Noel Šimenc Video Assist / Jernej Valenčič

Gaffer / Jernej Prebil Best Boy / Marko Perne Electrician / Jani Podmilšak Electrician / Marjan Vidmar Electrician / Dušan Praznik Electrician / Jurij Wolgemut Electrician / Jernej Korenčan Electrician / Jon Prebil Electrician / Urh Cerovnik Light Operator / David Crane Operator / Luka Zdešar

Key Grip / Rok Grdin Grip / Ivan Radeljak Grip / Aljaž Založnik

SFX Master / Aleš Šmuc SFX / Jan Januš

Animal Wrangler / Jože Ilc

SOME / Anže Lovšin

Sound Master / Martin Jelovšek

Catering Coordinator / Jernej Konda Craft / Rok Vengust Craft / Sara Ogrizek Chef / Jaka Hergeršič Chef Assistant / Petra Skopec Driver / Franc Vidmar

Post Production / Bepic Berlin Creative VFX Supervisor & Partner / Basti Konradt Post & VFX Producer / Lion Graf VFX Artists: Motion Graphics / Tulio Inoue Flame Artist / Chris Weingart Cartoon Animation / Laurie Herman Endshot Painting / Paula Blesa Colourist / Sarah Salzmann

Post Production:

Mario Borgmeier Milan Braune

Soundmix / Stefan Kraatz Sound Producer / Maurice Krämer

Special Thanks to Andrea Roman & Zauberberg Dirk Kübler Filmversicherung Berlin Jakob Rühle

[myhikari21things]

Some Books Published in Years Ending in 3

Pride and Prejudice-1813 Jane Austen

Villette-1853 Charlotte Bronte

Treasure Island-1883 Robert Louis Stevenson

Japanese Folktales-1903 Various

The Return of Tarzan-1913 Edgar Rice Burroughs

Memories of the Russian Court-1923 Anna Vryubova

After the Funeral-1953 Agatha Christie

Fahrenheit 451-1953 Ray Bradbury

Life Among The Savages-1953 Shirley Jackson

Pnin-1953 Vladimir Nabokov

The Silver Chair-1953 C.S. Lewis

Planet of the Apes-1963 Pierre Boulle

Princess Knight 1-1963 Osamu Tezuka

Battle For The Planet Of The Apes-1973 David Gerrold

Bilbo's Last Song-1973 J.R.R. Tolkien

Escape From The Planet Of The Apes-1973 Jerry Pournelle

Christine-1983 Stephen King

Cycle of the Werewolf-1983

Pet Semetary-1983 Stephen King

Return of the Jedi-1983 James Kahn

The Book of Lost Tales 1-1983 J.R.R. Tolkien

The Queen's Gambit-1983 Walter Tevis

Nightmares & Dreamscapes-1993 Stephen King

The Elephant Vanishes-1993 Haruki Murakami

The Giver-1993 Lois Lowery

The Graveyard Apartment-1993 Mariko Koike

Between Sisters-2003 Kristin Hannah

Elisabeth the Princess Bride-2003 Barry Denenberg

Grotesque-2003 Natsuo Kirino

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-2003 J.K. Rowling

Ju-On-2003 Kei Ohishi

Keeping You A Secret-2003 Julie Anne Peters

Kristina the Girl King-2003 Carolyn Meyer

Milkweed-2003 Jerry Spinelli

The Cake Tree In The Ruins-2003 Akiyuki Nosaka

Weetamoo Heart of the Pocassets-2003 Patricia Clark Smith

Wolves of the Calla-2003 Stephen King

Blood & Beauty-2013 Sarah Dunant

Blood Sisters-2013 Sarah Gristwood

Citrus 1-2013 Saburouta

Crazy Rich Asians-2013 Kevin Kwan

Dead Mountain-2013 Donnie Eichar

Doctor Sleep-2013 Stephen King

Frankenstein-2013 Junji Ito

Hitler's Furies-2013 Wendy Lower

Joyland-2013 Stephen King

N0S4A2-2013 Joe Hill

Orphan Train-2013 Christina Baker Kline

Prisoner B-3087-2013 Alan Gratz

Scarlet-2013 Marissa Meyer

Smashed-2013 Junji Ito

Splintered-2013 A.G. Howard

The Abominable-2013 Dan Simmons

The Descent-2013 Alma Katsu

The Girls of Atomic City-2013 Denise Kiernan

The Goldfinch-2013 Donna Tartt

The Gravity Between Us-2013 Kristen Zimmer

The Secret Daughter of the Tsar-2013 Jennifer Laam

The White Princess-2013 Philippa Gregory

Verily, A New Hope-2013 Ian Doescher

Loathe To Love You-2023 Ali Hazelwood

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

You Found Out Your Partner is Having an Affair—Now What?

Discovering an affair can be a painful and confusing experience. Discovering amid a global pandemic can be even worse. And if you’ve been cheated on before, it can trigger an emotional response characteristic of PTSD.

You probably want to run for the exit, but don’t leave the relationship just yet. In many cases couples can recover from an affair, and even come out stronger on the other side. At NCCT, we’ve helped over 1,000 couples over the last 10 years navigate turbulent waters. There is hope if both partners are willing to put in the work.

Before deciding how to move forward in your relationship, however, it can be helpful to understand what cheating is and why people cheat.

What is considered cheating?

There are different types of cheating, some more hurtful than others. Yes, sleeping with someone outside the relationship (without permission) is cheating, but so is the private, ongoing flirty text conversation with a coworker. Emotional affairs are affairs, too.

These days, thanks to technology, people don’t even need to meet up to cheat. More Americans are having “virtual affairs” during quarantine, according to an article published by the University of Tennessee Knoxville psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell. The stress of COVID-19 is putting a strain on relationships. Instead of turning toward their partners, people are either turning to dating apps to pursue secret relationships or social media to rekindle old ones. Researchers at the Kinsey Institute surveyed 1,000 married people between 30 and 50 years old and found in their preliminary results that 13% have contacted an ex-partner during the pandemic.

Ultimately, cheating is defined by secret-keeping. If a partner doesn’t know about it, then it’s a betrayal of their trust. As a general rule, people should ask themselves, “Would I say this or do this in front of my partner?” If the answer is no, then a boundary is probably being crossed.

Why do people cheat?

There are different philosophies in the field of couples therapy about why people cheat. Two of the most popular come from John Gottman and Esther Perel.

Gottman believes in symptom theory, which means cheating is a symptom of the relationship. In essence, people cheat because they’re lonely. The process begins when people start to make what Caryl Rusbult calls “negative comparisons” about their partner with other people, whether real or imagined. They think to themselves, “I could do better.”

He references the work of Shirley Glass, who found that most affairs are not caused by lust and didn’t start off with the plan of having an affair. 82% of the people she studied who had affairs started out being social acquaintances, neighbors, or workplace colleagues with their future affair partners. These “affairs of the heart” are characterized by secrecy, emotional intimacy, and sexual chemistry.

Perel, on the other hand, believes a crisis of identity causes affairs. Instead of cheating because they’re lonely, people cheat to find themselves. They’re not looking for another person, they’re looking for another self. A good relationship is no guarantee against infidelity, in her opinion. Otherwise, how do we explain why people in happy relationships cheat? You can watch her TED Talk on the subject here.

Where do you go from here?

With the divorce rate around 50% for first-time marriages, many of us are going to have more than one long term relationship or marriage in our lifetime. So while the first relationship is over in the aftermath of an affair, a second one can be built with the same person.

At NCCT, our approach to affair recovery is rooted in grief, particularly to help couples grieve the loss of the relationship they had. There’s no going back. The question then is whether they’re going to forgive, which is inspired by Desmond Tutu’s teachings in The Book of Forgiving. We focus on sitting with grief because often couples want to move past it quickly, when in reality, it’s a process that takes time to heal from.

For the initiator of the betrayal, we emphasize the importance of tolerating and staying with their partner’s grieving process. In his audiobook Relationship Rx, Stan Tatkin says the person who had the affair has to be prepared to be both the hero and the villain. They’re the hero because they get to make it better. They get to sign up for showing up and being there for their partner, which is an odd role to be in because simultaneously, they’re the one who inflicted the wound. For the initiator, the work is around guilt, and the appropriate response is to make amends and be accountable.

In addition to working with grief, we also help couples form a new narrative that has a deeper understanding of how the affair occurred so that it doesn’t happen again. This is particularly relevant for the initiator because frequently, there’s a pattern of conflict avoidance and not being forthcoming that occurs before an affair.

We support Stan Tatkin’s idea that all couples benefit from creating a shared contract, which outlines the basic rules to govern a relationship. He advocates for keeping each principle short and sweet, and that couples emphasize mutuality. In the aftermath of infidelity, couples need to talk about what they want their contract to be around fidelity. What is considered a betrayal? And what’s the penalty if it happens again?

As the 17th-century samurai and poet Mizuta Masahide once wrote, “Barn’s burnt down, now I can see the moon.” We can help you see the path forward. We’re offering online couples therapy intensives during COVID-19 as an alternative to weekly couples therapy sessions. It’s the equivalent of three months worth of weekly therapy concentrated into just a few days. An online intensive is hard work, and it can feel scary, but it’s worth the investment and can get your relationship back on track.

Like what you’ve read here? Sign up to receive our weekly posts filled with heart, concrete tools, and cutting edge resources via our blog: Loving Well.

[teenmomcentral]

[billboard-hotties-tourney]

Round One Has Finished!

Well, everyone, we've just concluded the first round of the Miss Billboard Tourney. Thank you all for participating thus far! Congratulations to the following, who are advancing to Round Two:

Lale Andersen

Julie Andrews

Patty Andrews

Joan Armatrading

Dorothy Ashby

Joan Baez

Pearl Bailey

Josephine Baker

LaVern Baker

Florence Ballard

Eileen Barton

Shirley Bassey

Lola Beltran

Teresa Brewer

Anne Briggs

Ruth Brown

Joyce Bryant

Kate Bush

Maria Callas

Blanche Calloway

Wendy Carlos

Diahann Carroll

Karen Carpenter

Charo

Cher

Gigliola Cinquetti

Petula Clark

Merry Clayton

Patsy Cline

Judy Collins

Rita Coolidge

Gal Costa

Betty Davis

Doris Day

Lucienne Delyle

Jackie DeShannon

Marlene Dietrich

Julie Driscoll

Cass Elliot

Agnetha Faeltskog

Marianne Faithfull

Mimi Farina

Ella Fitzgerald

Roberta Flack

Connie Francis

Aretha Franklin

Judy Garland

Crystal Gayle

Gloria Gaynor

Bobbie Gentry

Lesley Gore

Eydie Gorme

Margo Guryan

Sheila Guyse

Annie Haslam

Billie Holiday

Betty Hutton

Wanda Jackson

Joan Jett

Etta Jones

Gloria Jones

Grace Jones

Janis Joplin

Eartha Kitt

Chaka Khan

Gladys Knight

Sonja Kristina

Patti Labelle

Cleo Laine

Barbara Lewis

Abbey Lincoln

Julie London

Anni-Frid Lyngstad

Loretta Lynn

Lata Mangeshkar

Linda McCartney

Christie McVie

Jean Millington

Liza Minnelli

Carmen Miranda

Stevie Nicks

Nico

Laura Nyro

Odetta

Patti Page

Dolly Parton

Freda Payne

Ruth Pointer

Leontyne Price

Suzi Quatro

Bonnie Raitt

Carline Ray

June Richmond

Jean Ritchie

Clara Rockmore

Linda Ronstadt

Diana Ross

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Hazel Scott

Marlena Shaw

Nina Simone

Nancy Sinatra

Grace Slick

Mamie Smith

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Mercedes Sosa

Ronnie Spector

Barbra Streisand

Poly Styrene

Maxine Sullivan

Donna Summer

Pat Suzuki

Tammi Terrell

Sister Rosetta Tharpe

Big Mama Thornton

Mary Travers

Tina Turner

Bonnie Tyler

Sarah Vaughan

Akiko Wada

Dionne Warwick

Mary Wells

Tina Weymouth

Cris Williamson

Ann Wilson

Mary Wilson

Nancy Wilson

Syreeta Wright

The aforementioned ladies are accepting propaganda for their next posts. To give folks some time to prepare any sort of written/visual/audio propaganda for submission to my asks, Round Two will begin at midnight PST on July 10th.

[allthingsteenmom]

LEAH IS PLAYING VOLLEYBALL

[janeflowersart]

Amazing that they managed to keep this secret for s long #garyshirley #kristinashirtley #teenmm #teenmomog #mtv #police #realitytv

[teenmomtruths]

I get that Gary was trying to be the bigger person by publicly apologizing to Amber...but Amber is constantly talking shit about him. In fact, I can’t recall a time when she ever said anything even remotely positive about him. It’s all about blaming him and putting her revisionist spin on their history.

Yes!!! If anyone is owed an apology it’s him and Kristina.

[seositetool]

Teen Mom’s Gary Shirley Says Daughter Leah Wants Wife Kristina to Adopt Her

Gary Shirley, Amber Portwood Courtesy of Gary Shirley/Instagram;Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic/Getty Images Gary Shirley is shining a light on how distant Amber Portwood’s relationship with daughter Leah has become. On the Thursday, July 18, episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter, Gary, 37, claimed his 15-year-old daughter has expressed interest in being adopted by stepmom Kristina Shirley. “Trust me, the…