#kotarou lives alone

[ryesenpai]

My Top 2022 Anime

8. Kotarou Lives Alone

7. Demon Slayer: Entertainment District

6. Jujutsu Kaisen 0 Movie

5. Spy x Family

4. Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 6: Stone Ocean Pt 2

3. Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

2. Chainsaw Man

1. Attack on Titan the Final Season Pt 2

I only watched 8 anime that aired in 2022 & maybe 15 anime total. I’ll try to do better in 2023 :)

[animecatoftheday]

Today's anime cats of the day are:

These birthday cats from Kotaro Lives Alone!

[animescreencolle]

Kotarou wa Hitorigurashi S01E03

[capmangacap]

[lady-charinette]

"I didn't know me being born was a good thing."

[feelingbluewrites]

𝙎𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 (18+ 𝙈𝘿𝙉𝙄)

18+ 𝙈𝘿𝙉𝙄

➳ 𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝙐𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘽𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣.

➳ 𝙎𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙧!𝘽𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙆𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

➳ 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙎𝙢𝙪𝙩, 𝙈𝘿𝙉𝙄, 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 18+, 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙡𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙚, 𝙢𝙤𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣!𝘼𝙐, 𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙙𝙤𝙢!𝙗𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤, 𝙫𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙚𝙭 (𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜), 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜,

➳ 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 6.6𝙠

➳ 𝘼/𝙉: 𝙄, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙁𝙄𝘾! 𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙! 𝙀𝙉𝙅𝙊𝙔 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙎𝙈𝙊𝙆𝙀𝙍!𝘽𝙊𝙆𝙐𝙏𝙊 𝙁𝙄𝘾𝘾! 𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣! (𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙆𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙝𝙚)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You were not much of an avid smoker, however one random weekend of summer brought you in the middle of your room with Kuroo, and his friend, Bokuto Kotarou. 

It had only been a couple weeks ago since your first time smoking, ever, not that they knew that or anything. You don’t remember it much, most of it being hazy. Though you remember little moments, like laughing at Kuroo trying to twerk until you had tears streaming down your face. Or when you went on a five minute tangent about how mugs are the best dish ever, leaving Bokuto and Kuroo a bit speechless, mouth agape because that is not what they meant when they asked about your favorite dish. 

“Who knew she could be so passionate about mugs.”

And since that day, you swore you would never do it again. You didn’t know that the boys did it so often, usually on the weekends after playing some volleyball in the gym near your place. It just so happened that day you and Kuroo had planned to hang out, and he insisted Bokuto come. You didn’t know why.

But that’s how it started, getting high, then clearing your whole cabinet, to eventually all of you passing out on the floor of your living room while watching Moana. Let’s just say your parents came home early from work that night. Not too happy that there were two strange men sleeping on the floor with their daughter. 

Though this time your parents were finally out of town, they had planned to be gone all weekend so you finally had time to be free, and not grounded. Because yeah, they totally grounded you for getting high with two random dudes they didn’t know.

Nothing had come to your mind though. You tried to text Kenma to see if he would be willing to go to the arcade with you, but he ignored all your texts. It usually meant he was too into his game to even be on his phone, because his status showed him active. 

Taking that as a no, the last thing you could think of is hanging out with Kuroo but he had already left for his summer vacation and wouldn’t be back for a week. Well, you were back at square one. An unfulfilled saturday morning which now looks like it will also be an unfulfilled saturday night. 

All your friends were busy but you, the thought alone made you feel bored more than you already were. You just wanted someone to do something dumb with, make you feel like you were still a teenager before you had to go into adulting. Do something that makes you laugh and feel dumb-

Oh wait.

Then the idea popped into your head.You swore you would never get high again, but damn, why did that sound so fucking fun right now? Well, it isn’t like you had anything else to do and didn’t have anyone to yell at you for your actions right now, so why the hell not?

To hell with it! You’re gonna get high! And this time you’ll be super aware of what you’re doing and you’ll have fun. But there was only one problem. You had no weed nor did you know how or where to get it. 

“There goes that idea.” Falling back into your bed, sighing to yourself out of boredom. Your eyes dare to close, trying to take a nap, because there was no other idea. Practically everything you had thought of has been shut down. 

*buzzzz buzzz buzz lightyear*

Your eyes snap open within a second, in hopes it was one of your friends calling to link up. Just to see it had been Kuroo calling your phone, if only he was here to actually hang out with you because you know he would, he’d have no choice. 

Groaning, you answer it, hearing a loud crowd in the background and different girls talking to Kuroo.

“Not even 24 hours and you already miss your best friend?” You tease Kuroo, a bit annoyed he interrupted your nap, well, almost nap.

“Shut up, idiot. Are you home?”

“Y-”

“Actually of course you’re home, you never leave the house unless it’s to hang out with me.” He cuts you off, and it makes you roll your eyes.

“I… actually hate you.” Because he was right. A light chuckle comes out from the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was just calling to tell you that I’ll be landing on Thursday at like 8pm. You can still pick me up right?” 

You ponder, “I don’t know, man. After that comment you just made, should I?” Dragging out the vowel you could hear 

him scoff on the phone.

“I’m being serious!” Making your laugh echo into the phone so he could hear.

“Yes, I’ll come pick you up. Don’t worry.” Reassuring him he lets out a relieved sigh, though you don’t hear it.

“Good.” He pauses before continuing. “Soo what are you going to do since I’m not there?” 

You groan into the phone, “I don’t know! I asked Kenma to hang out but he ghosted me.” You hear Kuroo chuckle.

“That nerd. Just go out and do something by yourself.” He says it so effortlessly, making you rub your temple.

“But that’s so boring! I want to do something fun!” It’s so obvious you’re having the hardest time trying to plan your evening. 

“Wow, not even 24 hours yet and you’re already missing me.” He teases, making you curse at him. Sometimes you don’t know why you’re friends with him, well you do but all his remarks can really irritate you sometimes. But at the same time you do the same thing to him, it’s what makes you two friends. 

“I wanna get high.” It makes Kuroo audibly gasp. 

“What happened to, ‘I’m never getting high again!’” He mocks you.

“I’m so bored, that’s all I could think of! But it most likely won’t happen because I don’t even have any.” Pouting, you turn onto your back on your bed. 

“Well, if you are really desperate for some company and weed, just call Bokuto, I’m sure he’s willing to hang out with you, he thinks you're pretty.” And as he says that you remember the incident a couple of weeks ago, making you want to die inside. In others minds it may not be a big deal but it was your first time so of course you’re gonna remember it dramatically. It was so embarrassing, you couldn’t even begin to think about facing Bokuto after that! Even if he called you pretty, it made it way worse because you thought he was cute too! It was way too humiliating!

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” You kick your feet against the bed, cringing from the memories of last time. 

“You’re dumb.”

“Plus, even if I wanted to, I don’t have his number.” You did hesitate a bit there though, Bokuto was fun to hang out with last time, but you couldn’t escape the haunting flashbacks. 

“I’ll just text it to you. I gotta go though, I have to-”

“No, Kuroo! What should I do?!” practically begging your best friend to give you an idea. 

“Just ask him, there’s no harm in doing it. If you’re that nervous just suck his dick or somethin’” 

“Nevermind, I’m hanging up now!” Yelling at him, there’s a cut off of his laugh making you turn beet red. He was such an idiot. Thinking about what he said, you stare off into space. Should you ask Bokuto?

You barely knew the guy, only meeting him once. Yet, you think it would be so fun. Well, it could go two ways. It could be really fun or, it could be super fucking awkward. Like so fucking awkward you’re never leaving your room again. 

With a ring coming out of your phone, you see a text from Kuroo. 

Kuroo

‘here’s his number loser, xxx-xxx-xxxx’

You take a few seconds scanning the text, going through different made up scenarios of what could go wrong if you hung out with him. Yeah, to say you were an overthinker would be an understatement. 

However, looking at the time in the small corner, 6:00 pm, it was getting later by the minute. You had to act now, or you would spend your entire night alone and bored. Fuck it. 

Typing the number into an empty message, your heart beats before sending it. 

Y/n

wyd

You took a deep breath, there was nothing to be worried about, you were freaking yourself out for no reason. Even if things were awkward, you were a fun girl! You could get along with anyone.

Bokuto

who dis?

Idiot. Of course he wouldn’t know who it is. Now you just made yourself seem like a weirdo for not even properly introducing yourself. 

Y/n

shit

my bad

its Y/n, Kuroo’s friend

Bokuto

OHH Y/NNNNNN

HOW ARE YOU

You giggle to yourself, the way he texted was way different from everybody else you text. 

Y/n

LMAO

im bored asf right now

how are you, Bokuto?

Bokuto

OH YEAH YOU ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING

I’m good, thanks for asking.

I just got home from the gym.

You take some time to think about your response, until he texts you some more. 

Bokuto

why?

you need something?

Y/n

do you want to hang out?

i mean i totally have friends to hang out with but it was fun to hang out with you last time

Bokuto

oh yeah?

you totally have other friends to hang out with

totalllyyyyyyy

Y/n

I TAKE MY INVITATION BACK

Bokuto

NOOOOO

I would love to hang out

I’ll be over in 15 mins

You smile to yourself while reading his texts, happy that you had someone to hang out with and now had a planned evening. 

Y/n

you tryna smoke?

Bokuto

ohhh so it’s that kind of hang out, huh?

Your face turns red once again.

Y/n

NO NOT LIKE THAT

IM NOT USING YOU OR ANYTHING

I SWEAR

Bokuto

AHAHAHA

I’m kidding, silly

me and my weed will make an appearance

Y/n 

i promise i won’t talk about mugs this time

Bokuto

LMAO

NOOO

THAT WAS SO CUTE

Y/n 

SHUT UP

Bokuto

see you in a bit ;)

After ending the conversation you can’t help but smile, feeling all the nerves that were once about to make your head explode now non-existent. He had a way of bringing out confidence in anyone, and you were sure that it wouldn’t be awkward anymore. Nothing bad could come out of this, Bokuto was nice. 

You give out a relieved sigh, that is until you look around your room, into your closet and realize your place is a mess. You may have gotten a little bit too much freedom since your parents left town, no one to yell at you to clean your mess. Most of the things on the floor were primarily clothes, you had too much to fit into your closet. So naturally it ends up on the floor sometimes. Scrambling to throw all of your discarded clothes into your closet, you also try to doll yourself up a bit. Fixing your hair up a bit, and also trying to clean the kitchen because if you both are getting high, chances are the both of you will try to search and find anything to eat. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Before you could get a chance to change, there’s a knock on your front door. You could’ve sworn only five minutes had passed. Checking your phone for the time for a quick second, you realize it’s actually been twenty minutes since the last text Bokuto had sent you. 

You hurry to get the door, not wanting him to wait and worry. As the door swings open, Bokuto stands tall before you. He hasn’t always been this tall has he?

“Y/n-Chan!” His tone is happy as he takes a step into your house. “Hi, Bokuto.” Flashing him a sweet smile before closing the door behind him, welcoming him in. 

“You look so pretty.” Bokuto’s words are innocent, but just the right words to get you to turn beet red once again, making you stutter a few words before properly giving him a sentence, hoping he didn’t notice. 

“S-Shut up.” Before he can return a smile, he looks you up and down, taking in your outfit that you looked, oh, so cute in. Pajama Shorts that stopped at the top of your thighs, hanging lightly where he could definitely see a bit more if you moved your legs even the slightest bit, along with a t-shirt that you wore only at home. With no time to change, this is what you had to deal with. 

Snapping his eyes back to your face, he smiles at you, trying not to make it obvious that his eyes had obviously been roaming. “You seriously can’t take compliments, can you?” 

“No. Is it obvious?” He has you figured out that easy, you were very obvious even when you were trying not to be. “Only because I said the same thing last time and you said the same thing.” His laugh echoes throughout the house as you try to remember.

“You did?” 

“Yeah! you were probably too baked to comprehend what I was saying.” So that’s why Kuroo said he called you pretty. You thought Kuroo had just been saying that for you to be more confident, but no, Bokuto had said it right to your face.

“Let’s forget that ever happened!” Laughing, you lead him to your room, taking a peak in before letting him enter. “Just a heads up, I can’t smoke too much- I’m scared I’ll say some dumb shit again.” Pulling out a stool from underneath your vanity, he sets his backpack he had brought onto the floor.

“Don’t worry! Only take as many as you can handle.” He reassures you, letting yourself take a deep breath, letting yourself get loose. This was your time to have fun! Nothing to worry about. 

You watch him closely as he takes out the supplies he needed onto the windowsill. He does all of it so swiftly, so natural as if he’s done it a million times before this. 

“How did you get into smoking?” You’re watching him as he grinds the weed into fine grass pieces. “Kuroo actually got me into it.”

“But he said you got him into it!” Answering him, you recall the many times Kuroo had blamed his friend Bokuto for getting him into smoking.

“He’s a liar! He’s the one that invited me to go with him to meet his dealer. Ever since then everytime after the gym we’d get baked and go to my house doing whatever came across our minds. He just has too much pride to admit it.” It makes you chuckle as he explains, practically telling you that he and Kuroo had been doing this for awhile now. 

You watch him some more, getting out a filter along with an ashtray that had marijuana leaves plastered onto it, with a few ripped off stickers here and there. He really knew what he was doing. And you can’t help but watch him as he sets everything up, He looked so innocent, so pure on the outside yet here he was in your bedroom, rolling a joint for the both of you to get high off of, and damn, he looked so hot doing it. 

“You want to roll it?” Gently nudging the paper at you, it brings you back to reality. Looking down at the paper he had yet to roll, then back up at him, His eyes tell you to go for it. 

“You trust me to roll it?” He nods, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Me?” You ask once more.

“Show me what skills you got pretty girl.” He confidently hands the ashtray over to you, standing close beside you, in order to give you directions on what to do. Your hands are shaky as you grab the fine drug, putting the filter at one end and continuing to put the weed across it. 

“This is about to look so ass.” Trying not to breathe so you don’t shake, Bokuto laughs, telling you step by step instructions, finally shaping the paper into a cylinder shape, a bit loose around the edges but it’s good enough for your first time. 

“I wouldn’t have let you if I don’t trust you.” He tells you before suddenly, gently taking the joint out your hands, sticking his tongue out. Your eyebrows furrow, confused as to what he was doing. Just then you see him lick the adhesive, tongue sliding across smoothly, letting the paper fold perfectly into the last step. You can’t help but blush, you’ve seen Kuroo lick the adhesive last time and you felt normal. Yet as soon as you see Bokuto do it, you can’t think of anything else other than how good he was at using his tongue. 

Bringing the joint up to your face, he wiggles his eyebrows up and throws a smirk. 

“Oh my god! I did it!” You grab the joint from him, inspecting it, convinced it was the best piece of artwork you have done.

“See? I told you!” He dares not to laugh, but he can’t help but notice how loose the joint is compared to his own. Sitting on your bed, he moves the stool closer to him, signaling for you to sit. 

Sitting down, he gives you his own lighter. As you stare for a few more seconds you can’t help but feel a bit of adrenaline. You want to do it, but you’re also hesitant. Not wanting to say anything stupid or do anything stupid in front of Bokuto.

“This isn’t like- laced with anything right?” Nervously laughing, you’re being so serious. He chuckles and gently takes the joint to look you in the eyes.

“If you want, I can take the first hit.” You smile at the gesture, he knew you were overthinking it too much.

“Yes, please.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Suddenly you both are six hits deep, not tiny baby hits that you take for your first time, but real, bigger hits, the ones that make your throat burn in the back, and make you feel like your chest doesn’t have enough air. And you both are laughing as the joint slowly burns on the ashtray that lays on your windowsill. The nerves you were once feeling were now gone, you were interested in nothing but the conversation between you and Bokuto. 

“He shit his pants?!” You could hardly hold in your laughter as Bokuto tells his story.

“I swear! Kuroo was so nervous to go on the slingshot ride he shit himself before he could even go on!” Bokuto's, without a doubt, high. His voice gets louder as he talks and laughs more. But so do you, coming out of your shell the more you two talk, laughing harder than you have ever before. 

“Damn, I need to hang out with you guys more often. All the fun stuff happens when I’m not there.” You whine imagining the three of you hanging out, it would be so chaotic, but so fun. 

“Everything would be funner if you hung out with us, I know it.” He takes one last hit of the joint before it reaches the filter. You can’t wipe away the smile that has been on your face for the last hour, making your cheeks hurt, you just can’t help but smile cheek to cheek. Your mind felt hazy but not like last time. You’re fully aware of what’s going on, but you still have no care in the world but to just have fun. 

“I’m glad you asked me to hang out today.” His eyes in awe as he watches you laugh every now and then. 

“I’m glad too, this was definitely a GREAT idea!” Your voice booms, giggling as you throw your hands into the air, obvious that you were happy and having a great time. Bokuto takes a while to reply, too focused looking at you. 

You were so pretty, he was sure you got told that a lot, and if you didn't, well then the rest of the world was blind because the longer he stayed looking at you, the more he couldn’t hold back the want to kiss you. If only had Kuroo introduced you two long ago, because where have you been all this time?

“You’re so pretty.” The words roll off his tongue so nicely, it scares you from how effortlessly he could say these things. 

“You said that already, silly.” Gently slapping his shoulder, it doesn’t tear his eyes away from yours, suddenly the eyes that once in awe, turned into hunger. He was starving, and it was for you.

“I can’t help it.” An honest answer comes out. “Can… I kiss you?” He pauses, nervous for your response. Usually, you’ll turn away and blush, giving an awkward response. But this time you aren’t shy. The way he always said the right things, always said the things that were on his mind made you give in even more. Giving him a sly smile, you stand in front of him as he sits back on your bed.

Without answering, you bend down to meet your lips with his, your heart beating out of your chest. His lips are so soft it only makes you indulge more into what he was giving you, Gently placing his rough hands on your waist.

It’s short but a moment that was so intense it had your eyes slowly opening as you pull back. He licks his lips once.

“Can I have you?” Hands still around your waist, his eyes are practically begging for you to give him more, he’s had a taste and he can’t just stop now, He wants more. He needs more.  

“Oh? Why should I?” Leaning in, you tease him, whispering into his ear. It sends shivers down his back, leaving goosebumps on every inch of his body. 

“You’re too pretty- Can’t be dangling yourself in front of me when I want you know I want you all to myself.” Holding back as much as he could until you give him the go sign, though he knows it won’t last too long if you keep this up. 

“Well, then I guess.” Arms feeling his biceps as you giggle into his ear. That’s when you’re briefly swept off your feet, Bokuto engulfing you into a kiss that makes your vision blurry. Aggressively sliding his tongue to meet yours, making sloppy sounds that echo your bedroom. You can’t help but kiss back, he needs you and you know it, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need him as well. 

His strong arms gently bring your thighs up to straddle him on your bed, the heat between your bodies radiating, the temperature going up by the minute. His kisses are so full of dominance yet they make you melt into him so sweetly, almost as if you both were meant to do this the entire time. Exploring each other like a new world, wanting to swim in it forever. 

A small moan escapes your lips as his tongue trails down your neck. Giving a quick lick around your collarbone before going back up to your lips that lets him in so easily. You want him so bad and he knows it. It only eggs him on more, taking his own shirt off to reveal his abs that almost blind you from how prominent they are. You waste no time dragging your fingertips along every curve and dip, It was heaven on a person. 

His hands trail up your shorts, slightly revealing more of the curve of your ass. There’s obvious heat as you practically straddle the bulge peeking out of his pants. Slightly giving it friction, it leaves you soaked. Shorts so thin it’s practically dripping all over him. You’re both running out of breath the longer the kiss goes on, yet neither of you could bring yourself to break away even for a second. It’s not until he has you turned around, on your back against the bed. He’s giving small pecks down your neck then onto your chest. You’re surprised when he unexpectedly throws your shorts off of you and then onto the floor.

Hands supporting your thighs as he admires the piece of art in front of him. Your face burning up as he stares longer, your legs moving to close on their own. Only to be stopped and opened again by one movement of his arm, brushing a finger against your heat. It makes you let out a gasp, not expecting the sudden contact. “This pussy is so pretty.” He doesn’t blink not even for a second, completely in a trance as he looks at the wetness pooling underneath your inviting cunt. It flutters rhythmically, desperately wanting more friction, more attention, more heat, more of him. 

Two fingers slip in slowly, he looks up at you, smirking. Looking away, you bite onto your shirt trying to cover your face. He gives a small chuckle before going back to watch his fingers slip in, the image right below you leaves you squealing, choking down moans that you try to hide. 

“C’mon pretty girl, show me how loud you could get.” He’s only edging you on more, fingers increasing their pace and it’s only when his tongue makes contact with your clit, giving it a few licks before sucking on it completely, it makes you let out the loudest moan you both would hear of the night. His speed gets faster, tongue licking up and down, circling your bead, making you cry out louder, legs shaking against his head as he dives deeper into your cunt. 

You can’t help but feel hot, lifting your shirt to expose your breasts to the cold air. It makes you gasp. The sight before him being way too good, he’s suddenly lifting the bottom of your waist off the bed with both of his arms, tongue never disconnecting once. The sounds you make are so pretty, it hurts him so bad from how much of a hard-on he has in his pants right now. 

The neighbors probably hear everything right now, with how loud your cries get. It only makes him needier because he wants them to hear you, wants you to cry out his name as he fucks you senesless, wants you to tell everyone how fucking good he is. Bokuto doesn’t miss a beat once. With one last suck to your clit, you arch your back as you squeeze onto your breasts. As you come undone, he doesn’t stop, legs shaking in his arms. And he watches everything, from the way your mouth opens and your eyes roll back, he does everything he can to lick up the juices that have now dripped onto his chin and now onto your bed. Shit, if your mission was to make him nut in his pants, it’s working. 

Eyes still shut, you’re not able to respond fast enough as he leaves a kiss to your lips, tasting yourself as his tongue tangles with yours once again. “Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He smiles against you. “Should’ve made you mine a long time ago.” It makes you wrap your arms against his back, trying to come down from your high and keep up with the pace of his kisses. 

You both were way too into it, you both may have been high, but this was the only chance for both of you to do something about the sexual tension that had been going around for the last hour. you were definitely way too high and having way too much fun. Just like you wanted. “C-Can I try?” You ask him so sweetly, how could he refuse?

“Of course, sweet heart.” He gently removes you from under him so effortlessly, switching spots with you instead. You could see the tent that formed, it’s barely covered by the cotton of his sweatpants. With no wasting time, you untie the strings, pulling it far down enough for his cock to spring out at you. Tip red as it leaks with white precum, wanting relief and friction so badly. The heat in between your legs reappear as you examine his cock. It’s long, girthy, and curved so perfectly. It’s all too good and it’s yours for tonight, just for you. 

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. You don’t have to do i-” A deep groan leaves his lips as you give a tiny kiss on his tip, letting your tongue swirl around to spread the sticky wet liquid. All you wanted to do was make him feel so good, make him feel so good he never forgets you, Even though he couldn’t stop thinking about you since the first day you both met. His words are gone from his lips as you inch your mouth down his length, hands holding your hair into a ponytail. He can’t let himself lose control, not when you’re so fragile and you struggle to take his whole length into your hot wet mouth. He’s holding back as much as he can, but all he wants to do is make you cry and drool down his cock as if it was its own language. 

“Hmph- fuck. You’re so good, you’re doing so good.” His words come out paired with shaky breaths as you bob your head up and down his cock, the tip kissing the back of your throat as you go deeper. It burns but the way he’s praising you, makes the waterfall down your cunt only flutter against nothing. He’s gently thrusting up into your throat, making sure not to hurt you or push your limits. A trail of curses, grunts and groans are all you hear as you get sloppy on his dick. Spit and small cream forming at the end of your lips, and you push yourself to take his cock down deeper, tears starting to form as you keep going. 

“Y-You’re driving me crazy, sweetheart.” He lets out a choked laugh, a small groan interrupting it, and it’s all too good, all too much for you. This is what you’re trying to achieve, trying to drive him crazy, suck him dry so he remembers how good your mouth is. And with that he pushed your head down, leaving it there for countless seconds.

“Oh my fuck- Don’t move, sweetheart- You’re so fucking hot, so fucking pretty. It feels s’good, Take it all. I know you can do it, can you?” His words are sinister, though you don’t pay attention trying not to gag against him. You can’t feel it but the tears are streaming down your face, trying your hardest to breathe through your nose to stabilize your gag reflex. His sounds are so pretty, so dirty. You can’t help but listen to him as he leaves your head down, nose touching the base for a few more seconds. A pained-broken moan releases from his lips as he takes you off his cock, trying his hardest not to cum on the spot. You whine, choking as soon as your throat feels released. Flashing him a look with eyebrows burrowed, he smiles at you. 

“I’m sorry pretty girl, but I need you so fucking bad right now.” And with that he has you on your back once again, his arm holding one of your legs over his shoulder as he opens the other. Taking some time to catch a breath, he rubs the tip into your folds, letting it get caught here and there. “Stop it.” You let out a weak croak as he teases you more. “Sorry, You’re just so cute.” He hums, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss.

Taking in the sight, he lets the tip dip into your hot cunt, sucking him in immediately and he’s not even pushing in yet. “Ohhhh fuuck-” He lets out a pornagraphic moan. It makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, as you feel your cunt completely enveloping him into your body. You can’t help but let out mewls and moans as you suck him in more. 

“You’re so t-tight- shit-” He doesn’t know if he could hold back anymore, but he does just for you. His length being so girthy it takes you a few moments to get over the stinging in your belly, the stretching of your insides. “H-Haahh-” A word manages to finally escape from you. “Keep going, please.” You plead, he obliges. Holding your leg up as he gives a deep thrust, hitting your cervix and the squishy parts of your insides. “This pussy just for me? I’m so lucky.” With no reply, his thrusts are deep but getting faster, The breath inside of you getting knocked out every time he meets you in the middle.

Bokuto lets out loud grunts, and deep shaky moans as he gets used to your pussy clamping down on his cock. With every hit of your cervix you feel yourself lose more control, shaking uncontrollably as he pounds so deep into you, you’re seeing stars. A trail of pleads leave his lips as he loses himself in your cunt, it was shaped just for him, squeezing him so perfectly like it never wants him to leave. Your neighbors definitely hear you now, the way you’re chanting his name, gripping the blankets beneath you as he bottoms into you. Your brain’s so foggy, you can’t tell if you’re still high or being fucked so good you’re losing your mind. 

He’s hitting every spot so perfectly, his free hand grazing over your nipples every once in a while, giving it a small pinch before pounding into you again. “Wake up, pretty girl. I’m not done.” A small smack on your cheek forces you to open your eyes to look at him, He’s having his own way with you and enjoying it. Sweat dripping down his chest, droplets on his hair, getting it wetter the longer he’s in you. 

You’re blissed out, curse words repeating over and over, you’ve never had an orgasm and before you know it you feel as though you need to pee. Bending your leg even more than it was, he’s hovering over you, hitting that sweet spot that makes you go cross-eyed. “Do it baby girl, cream on this cock of yours.” He’s holding back his moans as much as he could, which he isn’t doing a good job of, he’s just too focused on your fucked out face, trying to hold back your moans and failing miserbly. Yelping out, you dig your nails into his buff arms, head thumping against your own bed. “Just like that, pretty girl.” Is what makes you come undone beneath him, cream starting to drip down his balls as you squeeze him so tight, he swears he might just pass out. You feel so good, so happy, so full as your walls pulse around him.

Until your stomach feels empty, slightly opening your eyes to see he had pulled out, chest going up and down from shaky breaths. Pouting a bit, you start to turn, thinking the moment had been done. To your surprise he stands up, eyes focused on you, his cock standing up higher than ever.

“I’m not done yet.” He growls, widening your eyes at his dominance. And shit to say you were turned on was an understatement, you had fully gone off the deep end. You don’t dare to stand up against him, at least not yet. “Turn around.” With a light smack to your cunt, he orders you. Doing as you are told, you turn around. Ass up, on all fours, face buried into the blanket before you, unsure of what his plans were. 

With a hard quick smack across your ass, he guides his cock to your entrance, trying to clamp down on it almost immediately. “Squeeze me down, will you?” Still trying to stabilize his breath, the head of his cock peeking into your wet, dripping pussy. And just as he expected, as soon as he’s in you’re clamping down on him hard, as if you couldn’t get enough of him, you want to feel him lose control, let him let go inside of you, claim you as his. “Just- like that. Fucckk- You’re so good. It’s so good, you’re so good. You’re so pretty. So cute.” He praises you so well it doesn’t take long for the bubbling sensation to come back in your stomach, wanting to let go so bad, it practically hurts. 

“Show me what you got.” Challenging him only fuels his energy even more, thrusts getting harder as he pushes you down into the mattress. The blankets covering the filthy moans that escape from your lips. “You asked for it.” He’s grunting, groaning so loud his mind starts to get hazy, hips stuttering. His thrusts start to get sloppy, but the same amount of force does not falter once. He’s making sure you know he’s the best, the strongest, the biggest. He’ll make you cum over and over until you know that he’s the only one who fucks you just right. 

“M’gonna lose it.” A small whimper comes from his lips as he adjusts the position a bit, moving you a bit to the side, the curve of his cock rubbing your insides too good. Your free legs kick the air as you scream into the mattress, hands roaming to grab anything you can hold on to as he pounds you purple and red. “Hmphh- baby- girl- you’re so good. I’m- so lucky.” His moans only get dirtier, “I’m- so fucking- happy.” Breathless pants as you feel him twitch inside you, forcing you over the edge and having you cumming on his cock once again, for the second time. With your pussy spasming against him, he can’t help but chant your name over and over, letting his seed fill you up, excess cum dripping out of you even as he’s inside. 

With one last moan, he slowly pulls out of you, making you whine at the cold air. Feeling so empty, so fucked, you’re falling limp onto the bed. He can’t take his eyes off the sight, his own cream dripping out of you, and there’s lots of it. 

Before taking a few moments to catch his breath, he goes down and leaves a gentle kiss onto your ass cheek. Slapping it gently before speaking, “You’re the best.” 

You’re too high, too fucked out to reply. You’re still aware of what’s happening but you feel so happy to have his cum dripping out of you, you can’t think of anything else but having him skin to skin with you once again. 

And as he goes to grab a towel from your hamper, you hum in contentment. “Let me take care of you, pretty girl.” You should do this more often with Bokuto, it wasn’t a bad idea at all.

And you were so glad you gave smoking a second chance. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Kuroo waits. 

“...”

“...”

“You sucked his dick, didn’t you?”

Sigh “...Yeah” 

[codenamesazanka]

I'm sorry, I'm fixated on The Walk because it has seemed like such a pivotal point in Shigaraki's life, and in the story. And then when it finally came time for Deku to save Shigaraki/Tenko... it gets relegated to two measly panels. 

In Chapter 69, Shigaraki reveals his resentment of basically the entire world for being so carefree when they know, logically, someone is out there suffering - "someone, somewhere...is off killing people, for whatever reason... these fools keep smiling and laughing... living their lives." 

Later, building on this idea, he realizes - and states out loud to Deku - that All Might annoys him because All Might has created a false sense of peace. Plus, All Might himself smiles so bright and cheerful, as if he's invincible, as if he can and has saved everyone: "The reason these fools can smile and live their lives... is cuz All Might's always got that grin on this face... Smiling wide, as if to say... There's no one he can't save!!" 

Paired with a flashback of a severed hand, much like the ones Shigaraki wears, the implication is clear: Shigaraki resents how no one came to save him when he had a quirk accident that killed his dad/family; moreover, specifically, he seems to hate the bystander effect - that tragedy and suffering can happen but the people around such incidents can just not give a single crap. There are people in trouble, but the majority of the world doesn't bother to help, because they think Heroes will take care of it - All Might, especially, has made them feel like it's just not their problem. 

This was before Shigaraki regained his memories, but his life since the amnesia hasn't really disproven any of that. He was picked up by AFO, a Villain, first of all; but he would later create the League, all members of who have clearly suffered from something and was never saved - not by Heroes, but also not by people who are supposed to protect them, like parents and family, and not by their fellow humans. 

There's a reason Shigaraki targeted Bakugou to kidnap and recruit - he saw someone who seemed to be restricted and suppressed, literally bound and gagged on live television, a thing allowed and even awkwardly laughed at by the people around him. All Might was smiling as he presented a medal to the clearly upset boy. And so he thought Bakugou would understand.

When Shigaraki remembers his past, his memories also don't disprove the bystander effect and his hatred of it either. In the house his father built, everyone saw he was suffering, but did nothing. They never stepped in to stop Kotarou’s harsh punishments; in fact, they only ever come to him in the aftermath to try to coax him to stop crying - essentially telling Tenko that hey, they aren't going to stop the actual problem (Kotarou), but they will try to make Tenko accept it. As if it's not their problem, but rather Tenko's. Tenko says that all he needed was just to hear a word of encouragement from them, but they couldn't even give him that. 

All this passivity in the family eventually leads to the moment when Kotarou slaps Tenko hard - twice! - and yet his mom and grandparents only stood by and watched. (Afterwards, they apparently also allowed Tenko to be forced to stay outside, crying, until nightfall.)

Then, of course, is The Walk.

Dozens of people saw a clearly-distressed lost child walk past them, and did nothing. Tenko at that moment is tragedy and suffering made manifest - he's a tiny little boy, alone, scared into silence, bloodstained, barefoot on concrete in a city. He's not hidden away or in some unknown corner of the shadowy edges of society - he's there in front of everyone, in broad daylight. 

And no one bothers to give a crap. Or, even if they do, briefly feeling troubled at the sight, they look away. The one lady who did try to help ends up deciding this was above her pay grade and explicitly states never mind, Heroes will take care of it. Everyone at the scene feels it's not their problem. 

(And the thing is - Tenko knew he deserved to be saved. There's one line that always stuck out to me: "I thought maybe the reason no one helped me was because I was being punished for killing my family." 

Tenko knew he did something bad, he was feeling immense guilt, so much that he was rendered mute, but he wasn't expecting to be punished then and there - he hadn't written himself off. Not being helped wasn't a foregone conclusion yet. He killed his family, but he wanted help - he knew he should be helped. Basically, it wasn't immediately, "I did something bad, so of course a Hero won't be here, now I need to run away and hide" - it was "[I did something bad, but] somebody... anybody, just me tell [what to do]. Someone help me." The idea that he deserved being ignored because of what he did seemed to have only come afterwards. 

This is why, I believe, in Chapter 365, Inner Tenko thought, "I wasn't broken back then... but it's not like anybody reached out a helping hand to me. It's not like anybody even looked at me." 

Two of the flashbacks are scenes from after he did a Bad Thing - Hana running away after he killed their dog; the old lady turning away, after he wandered into the city post-massacre. He did a Bad Thing, but "I wasn't broken back then..." 

There's also the flashbacks of the family pre-massacre. Scenes of his grandparents trying to pacify him, of his mom looking sad, of Kotarou being angry with him - all likely because Tenko was in trouble for talking about Heroes again, which was against the household rules, but wasn't/shouldn't be a strike against him. He was restricted and suppressed and couldn't fit in with the family, but "I wasn't broken back then..."

All those people in his family, on the streets - none of them ever helped.)

The Walk is the ultimate embodiment of his long and ongoing issue of Heroes and regular people doing shit nothing. It's the exact complaint Shigaraki was giving in Chapter 69. It's completely damning. 

This is what Shigaraki means when he says "everything I've witnessed..." in Jaku in Chapter 281 (and again in Chapter 379). He's seen it all - how there's all this pain, but Heroes have not done anything about it. And because Heroes are pillars of the community - because Heroes are civil servants, essentially representative of the governing system - the regular masses of citizens both follow their example while also becoming complacent. Now they just smile and laugh, living their lives, as if Heroes will and should take care of everything and all will be and is fine. 

Early on, Shigaraki put most of the blame on Heroes and so focused most of his plots on them - the USJ attack and Camp Raid were on Hero students - but he very much disliked the civilians and their bystander apathy too, and was already starting to make plans to destroy the system that enabled that. It’s remembering the Shimura Household Dysfunction and The Walk - the lack of help, the rejection, all civilians that passed him by - that really solidifies his hatred and conviction, causing him to fully embrace destruction - his attacks post MVA doesn't target just Heroes, but everything and basically everyone.

AND YET. Barely any of this shows up when Deku comes to save Tenko in Chapter 418. 

In fact, it starts in Chapter 417, when Nana and Deku intervene in Kotarou's slapping of Tenko. The rest of the family is noticeably absent. The only thing Deku and Nana needed to do was stop Kotarou. That Tenko also had an issue with how the family kept taking Kotarou's side and abiding by the abuse? Not relevant anymore, I guess. 

(Also, Tenko actually does believe he's broken, been broken from the start for being born with Decay. He even wonders why Deku would come help him. Somehow "I wasn't broken back then... but it's not like anyone even looked at me," has become "I'm broken and who could ever look at me given the way I am?" Note additionally that Deku doesn't actually discourage this notion. He only says "Well, I'm here to take your hand and give you peace.")

Meanwhile, The Walk is no longer part of Tenko's origin - or at least, not significant enough to warrant a Memory Environment. Yes, it's true that stopping and saving Tenko at The Massacre means Tenko wouldn't go on to walk The Walk, and I suppose you can argue that technically the issue of bystander effect has been solved since someone did finally show up to help. Deku didn't have to help, but he did. He made it his problem to figure out why Shigaraki seemed so sad inside, and he reached out a hand. 

But like. The Walk is still a thing that happened? It's still a problem? All those people still ignored a five year old? Deku saving Tenko doesn't mean the old lady suddenly gained a backbone and conscience to not walk away. In fact, it just makes it even more 'not her problem' because after all, a Hero did show up! She did exactly what she was supposed to do - nothing. 

It’s just not addressed. To quote @stillness-in-green, “Shigaraki gets way more dangerous to the common civilian after he gets his memories back, and it's a real crock that the story doesn't address that specific turn and what causes it, instead retrenching to "The Slap Bad; AFO Bad.””

I don't like Deku much, and I probably would've rolled my eyes at it, but I did really think Deku would get to be at the memory of The Walk, and he was see all these civilians ignoring Tenko, and he would be gutted and horrified, and maybe he’ll hear what the old lady say about “the police or a hero or somebody will help” as she leaves, and he’ll think something like ‘that's right, a Hero should be helping… but that doesn't mean all you civilians can't even ask if Tenko’s okay and walk him to a police box’, and he would chase after Tenko to save him, and maybe even say something like ‘What you said at Jaku about civilians being coddled. I know it too well that they didn’t want to get dirty. They're trying to support Heroes better now, but they should also support each other. We should all help each other. Let’s change things. I’m here now.’ Because it would make sense and provide a conclusion to this whole thing???

But no. Shigaraki wants to destroy because Tenko was sad he was born with an evil quirk and because of that he doesn't know how to love himself and so the source of the problem ultimately lies with himself. Deku is here to validate his existence so Tenko can feel better that someone accepts him so he can learn to love himself and stop all this nonsense. Except wait it turns out AFO gave him Decay and also turns out AFO manipulated his life since even before his conception so who knows what's even real anymore. Maybe the people on the streets really wanted to help Tenko but AFO made a gas leak fill the city with Asshole Gas and so no one helped and Shigaraki has been operating under a gaslit delusion for the past 15 years and his grievance against bystander apathy is completely invalid. Bummer. 

The series hasn't ended yet, and it's possible that the Walk will still be addressed. I've seen it theorized that civilians will show up to help stop AFO and finally save Shigaraki/Tenko like he had wanted all those people on the streets to do all those years ago. 

However, without the problem explicitly stated or even known - Deku never sees the family passivity, and he seems to have only caught glimpses of The Walk (and of course has no reaction/introspection/opinion on it) - this feels unlikely. Plus, the recent chapter hasn't filled me with hope or inspiration. The best the civilian could do was offer an All Might t-shirt. That's not exactly "I won't assume a Hero will take care of it and I'll take action myself"; it's more "I'll trust in Heroes even more to take care of the problem." I know that's not exactly fair, in that fighting AFO and helping a lost child are problems of very different magnitudes. But the fact the story hasn't given the civilians an opportunity to ‘redeem’ themselves, so to speak, in the latter case kinda proves my point, I think. 

So far, the story seems to think that Shigaraki's issue with passivity and complacency is actually irrelevant. Or has been solved by Deku. Who took on the immense task of saving Shigaraki because he possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding. So Deku is special, and thank god someone so special existed to save Shigaraki. Because otherwise, Shigaraki wouldn't have been saved. Due to the majority of people being passive and complacent. Which isn't a thing that needs to be dealt with.

(Or, I guess you can say that it was All For One who planted the hatred of bystander effect into Shigaraki/Tenko (if he didn't somehow manipulate the people on the streets (and the Shimura family, previously) into ignoring Tenko), since he did say “Everyone just passed by, pretending not to see, thinking some Hero would save the day. Who decided to make the world this way?” when he first found Tenko. So even that hatred and grudge isn't ‘true’ and we can dismiss it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[imoncloud7]

the bitch boys

yn ln

second year student in university as a chemical engineering major, as well as an aspiring author (don’t ask, it’s a touchy subject). she moved from america to japan for university, being that she’s half japanese and her dad lives in tokyo. after getting to university, she befriended kuroo in her chemistry class, and then became close to bokuto as well. lives alone in a nice apartment (it’s quiet and calming). she’s lowkey on a downward spiral rn so

her and oikawa have been messing around for the better part of a year now after meeting at a party (hehe) but he still doesn’t really know anything about her (he knows enough) 

kuroo tetsurou

second year student in university as a chemistry major, as well as a middle blocker for the university’s volleyball team. former captain of the nekoma volleyball club, and dearly misses his best friend kenma (who he’s trying to convince to come to the same university). also has proclaimed himself as yn and bokuto’s father, since they need supervision most of the time. 

bokuto kotarou

second year student in university as a business major, as well as an outside hitter for the university’s volleyball team. former captain of the nekoma volleyball club. his boyfriend, akaashi keiji, is the new captain this year (and bokuto couldn’t be prouder). kuroo and bokuto are roommates!! they hold each other accountable for waking up for practice, it’s a great system.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶︶✩

[zurajanaizurakoda]

I assume no one will read this, but the fanfic I'm working on is going to be more author notes than fanfic and I'm highly invested in Katsura as a character at the moment so I thought I would post my feelings about Katsura and disassociation here. (Mild Ginzura)

EDIT: I think I'm confusing fugue state with catatonic.

I very strongly headcanon that Katsura has dissociative states that can get to fugue state, and there’s not a lot of evidence but hear me out.  When Sensei is beheaded, he doesn’t react, like at all.  And I know it’s because the scene is supposed to be about Gin and Takasugi and Katsura is on standby as much as he possibly can be while still being in the scene, but it’s telling.  He doesn’t even cry, which is odd because he cries early and often, even in serious scenes.  During the battle at Eiroku, he cries simply because he and Gin lived through a battle.  I feel like when he realized what was happening he just went away when he realized he couldn't do anything.

Second piece is in the second movie where he’s facing execution, and he does literally nothing.  Definitely not arguing for fugue, he does react to his surroundings, for instance he watches Gin come up with the sword with at best mild interest.  (And this is a man who is a six foot penis dressed as his dead boyfriend running past security to take his head personally, you’d think it would be worthy of a reaction)  This is literally Runaway Kotarou, it’s essential enough to his character that he’s famous for it.  He escaped from jail in a week when he was a giant screwdriver.  It doesn’t come up much, but every time he’s been captured he’s escaped.  Suddenly he spends five years in a jail cell and then goes to his execution without a word.  I feel like he was living in some form of dissociative state for most, if not all the five years.  Once he realized that the world was broken in a way he had no skills to fix and realized he was useless and he just shut down.  I feel like Katsura’s sanity hinges on his ability to feel like he serves a purpose. Also, of course, he apparently talks about destroying this wretched world but the first thing he says to Gin is how disappointed he is in himself for not being able to save the world when Gin apparently failed. Unlike the execution scene, he actually displays a good deal of emotion when recounting the last time he saw Gin, almost crying. (One might even say it's implying that unlike his own death, which made no difference to him either way, he genuinely regrets Gin's death, but that's just me)

The third one is a good one!  After Nizou cut him down he played dead, meaning he was unresponsive enough that Nizou assumed he was dead and left him as a corpse.  When they discuss it later, Takasugi comments that he’s getting better at playing dead, implying that Katsura becoming unresponsive during battles has been a recurring theme in the past.  Katsura replies that the fault was Nizou’s, implying that he didn’t assign his survival to any conscious action on his part, it just happened like that.  Knowing he was about to die (and since it’s Katsura, the fact that he’s dying alone and possibly by the orders of one of his few friends in the world are probably factors in that) is enough to make him go away for a while.  I imagine in battle it would be useful, their battlefields tended to be piled high with corpses and it’s likely most soldiers wouldn’t go through them looking for survivors.  I feel like it’s highly possible that on at least one occasion his friends thought they were pulling a Katsura corpse out from under a pile of amanto, only to realize he’s alive and just left for a while.  Probably scared the shit out of them, and not just the first time.

The last thing is just a little one, but when he’s Zura he seems to turn off or at least greatly dull his pain reception.  He definitely seems to still be in the moment and aware of himself, but he’s consciously ignoring signals coming from his body.  Just noting that it’s something he does.

If you're into Ginzura, consider reading Big Spoon! It's not the fic this rant inspired, and it may be not the best characterizations but it's my favorite fic of mine. Gin and Zura sleeping big spoon/little spoon style when life gets too shitty starting in childhood, and eventually getting so many feels.

OH YEAH maybe not relevant but he sleeps with his eyes open and it seems like that's another indicator that he can just leave, five senses be damned.

[sam24seven]

Hey, what's up?

I'm Sam, 18 years old, non-binary amab and I like to analyse characters, so every once in a while I'll get on here and post my analysis of characters, or why I relate to those characters, or anything else.

If you like what I post or you're just bored and want someone to analyse characters for you, feel free to leave requests for me to do, it can be a request for a character analysis, headcanons, fanfics, my opinion on a show, or anything else, really.

My favourite shows rn are monster, death note, Great Pretender and aot

Here's a list of all the animes I watched:

Completed:

- Angel Beats!

- Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist

- Bungou Stray Dogs

- Blood c

- My hero academia

- Charlotte

- Death Note

- Devilman: crybaby

- Doukyuusei/Classmates

- Free!

- Given

- Great Pretender

- Hisone to Maso-tan

- Horimiya

- Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun/Toilet-bound Hanako-kun

- Jujutsu Kaisen

- Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer

- Kimi no Na wa/Your Name.

-Kimi to, Nami ni Noretara/Ride Your Wave

- Kiseijuu: Sei no Kakuritsu/Parasyte

- Koe no Katachi/A Silent Voice

- Komi-san wa, Comyushou desu/Komi Can't Communicate

- Kotarou wa Hitorigurashi/Kotaro Lives Alone

- Kuroko no Basket/Kuroko's Basketball

- No.6

- One Punch Man

- The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

- Sasaki to Miyano

- Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan

- Shinseiki Evangelion/Neon Genesis Evangelion

- SK8 the infinity

- Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suru/My Dress-Up Darling

- Tenkuu Shinpan/High-Rise Invasion

- Toradora!

- Umibe no Étranger/The Stranger by the Beach

Watching:

- Banana Fish

- Cowboy Bebop

- Death Parade

- Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

- Hunter x Hunter

- Haikyuu

Ps. just a little disclaimer, English is not my first language so try to ignore some mistakes I make, I'm working on it

[stpvnd6794]

The Unspoken Language

word count: 900+

warnings: angst if u squint

———

Bokuto Kotarou and Akaashi Keiji have been teammates and best friends for years. They have always been in sync, both on and off the court. But little did they know that their unspoken language would lead them to a whole new level of understanding and intimacy.

It all started when they were on a training camp in a remote location. Their team had just finished a grueling practice session, and everyone was exhausted. Bokuto was lying on the grass, staring at the sky, and Akaashi was sitting next to him, observing him quietly.

"Hey, Akaashi," Bokuto said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi replied, turning his head to look at him.

"Do you ever feel like there's something missing in your life?" Bokuto asked, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Akaashi was taken aback by the sudden change in Bokuto's tone. He had never heard him sound so vulnerable before. He sat up and looked at Bokuto with concern.

"What do you mean, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi asked gently.

Bokuto sat up as well and looked at Akaashi with a pensive expression.

"I don't know... sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough. Like I'm not living up to my full potential," Bokuto said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Akaashi could feel his heart ache at the sight of Bokuto's vulnerability. He had always admired Bokuto's boundless energy and enthusiasm, but he had never realized that he could also feel lost and insecure.

"Bokuto-san, you are one of the most talented and passionate players I know. You inspire me every day," Akaashi said, placing a hand on Bokuto's shoulder.

Bokuto looked at Akaashi and smiled weakly.

"Thanks, Akaashi. You always know the right thing to say," Bokuto said, his voice still tinged with sadness.

Akaashi knew that words alone couldn't soothe Bokuto's doubts and insecurities. He decided to do something that he had never done before - he leaned in and pressed his lips against Bokuto's.

Bokuto was taken aback by the sudden gesture, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he closed his eyes and let Akaashi's lips explore his own. It was a gentle and tentative kiss, but it was enough to convey everything that they had been feeling but couldn't put into words.

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other with a mix of surprise and wonder.

"I... I didn't know you felt that way, Akaashi," Bokuto said, his eyes wide open.

Akaashi smiled softly.

"I didn't know either, Bokuto-san. But I know that I care about you deeply, and I want to be there for you," Akaashi said, his hand still resting on Bokuto's shoulder.

Bokuto looked at Akaashi with a newfound appreciation and affection. He realized that he had been blind to Akaashi's feelings all these years, too caught up in his own struggles and aspirations. But now, with this unspoken language between them, he felt a deeper connection and understanding with Akaashi than he had ever felt before.

From that day on, Bokuto and Akaashi's relationship took on a new dimension. They continued to be best friends and teammates, but now there was a subtle undercurrent of intimacy and affection between them. They didn't talk about what had happened between them, but they didn't need to - their unspoken language said it all.

During matches, Bokuto would catch Akaashi's eye and give him a small smile, and Akaashi would nod back, his eyes sparkling with pride and admiration. They would celebrate their victories together, their bodies pressed close, feeling the heat and energy of each other's presence.

Outside of volleyball, they would spend more time together, going on walks, watching movies, and just talking about anything and everything. Bokuto would sometimes touch Akaashi's hand or arm, and Akaashi would lean in a little closer, relishing the warmth and comfort of Bokuto's touch.

But their newfound intimacy also brought its own set of challenges. They had to keep their feelings a secret from their teammates and friends, afraid of how they would be perceived and judged. They had to navigate the complicated dynamics of their relationship, unsure of where the boundaries lay and what they could and couldn't do.

Despite these challenges, Bokuto and Akaashi persevered, their unspoken language guiding them through the ups and downs of their journey. They knew that they had something special and rare, and they were willing to fight for it, no matter what.

One day, after a particularly intense match, Bokuto and Akaashi found themselves alone in the locker room. Bokuto was taking off his sweaty jersey, and Akaashi was packing up his bag. They were both tired and sore, but they couldn't help but feel a sense of euphoria and exhilaration after their victory.

Bokuto turned to Akaashi and grinned.

"We did it, Akaashi! We won!"

Akaashi smiled back, his eyes shining with pride.

"Yes, Bokuto-san. We make a great team."

Bokuto walked over to Akaashi and put his hand on his cheek, stroking it gently.

"A great team, and a great couple," Bokuto said, his voice soft and tender.

Akaashi's eyes widened in surprise and delight.

"Bokuto-san..." Akaashi whispered.

Bokuto leaned in and kissed Akaashi, this time with more passion and urgency than before. Akaashi responded eagerly, his hands reaching up to tangle in Bokuto's hair.

As they kissed, they knew that their unspoken language had finally found its voice, and that they were destined to be together, on and off the court, forever.

———

Hi!! i had chat gpt write this and i couldn’t not share it so here y’all go lmao!

[bnhaobservation]

Ramblings about the Shimura family

So, one thing I noticed is how BNHA presents interesting family dynamics with a special focus to how parents deal with their children.

And where there’s an interesting dynamic I love to dig into things so let’s start.

PREMISE

For the sake of this observation I’ll assume that ‘what is not shown just never happened’ meaning that if a character is never shown doing a certain action, it just means he never did it. This might not be necessarily true, sometimes stories don’t show things because they’re of no use (the character does it but it changed nothing so it’s unnecessary to add it to the plot) but, as assuming what wasn’t shown happened would just constitute a debatable speculation, I’ll simply leave it out.

Also, if you’re solely an anime viewer, this will contain spoilers. Consider yourself warned.

With this said let’s start with the Shimura family.

In the Shimura familywe see a characteristic that’s common with the other BNHA families which are abusive, this characteristic being that the main perpetrator of the abuse is the father.

So let’s give an in deep look to Shimura Kotarou.

The interesting part about Kotarou is that he isn’t just an abuser but also a victim of abandonment. His father was killed from All for One and his mother, believing to protect him, left him in the care of a foster family when he was a small child. [Chap 95/281]

While Shimura Nana’s intentions were good, her choice is debatable (her first loyalty and duty should be to her son) and the psychological effects of it on Kotarou will be terrible as he comes to see his mother as a monster and would have preferred for her to have never loved him [Chap 235].

Victims of abandonment can react by becoming unable to form future attachments so as to avoid the pain that might come should they be abandoned again, and this is probably what happened to Kotarou, who is 32 now and is still plagued by the pain he felt for his own abandonement.

Adult Kotarou therefore is depicted as an anaffective man, he married Nao, who knows of his sad past and feels sorry for him and hosts in his home his in-law who probably feels equally sorry as well as indebted to him (as they’re living in his house) and promised them all a home full of joy [Chap 235]...

...but it’s clear he never delivered what he promised, he’s actually not even shown making an effort to deliver it in some ways beyond giving the home they live in.

We never seem a single panel of him making happy, or at least being happy with one of the members of his family, of them smiling together.

Tenko’s wish to become a hero didn’t disrupt the peace of an otherwise happy family, the family was never depicted to be happy to begin with, people just contented themselves with what they had, probably feeling they couldn’t ask for more to Kotarou and Kotarou ends up taking advantage of how people seems okay with humoring him.

The one rule Kotarou forced upon his house, “never talk about heroes”...

...and that he alone enforces, clearly exists TO PROTECT HIM AND SOLELY HIM from pain, as no one else in the family is shown having a problem with talking about heroes.

Kotarou doesn’t consciously mean to be cruel toward his family, he’s not doing this out of a wish to harm them or of a sick pleasure in seeing his kids suffer, he is a victim of abandonment and just wants to protect himself from that same agonizing pain he felt from when he was a small child, and, in his mind, it makes sense his own experience and way to feel would apply to everyone, so he sells his own rule as a rule that would protect his family as well, because to him heroes are monsters and so, by this logic, everyone would be protected by staying clear of them.

However it’s clear there are 4 adults in the house and not only he is the sole person who’s believing such thing. This alone should really make him reconsider his beliefs, if he really cared about making people in his family happy. The problem is, he actually doesn���t.

Everyone is uncomfortable when he leaves Tenko out in the garden but he’s just ‘rules are rules’ and ‘I’m doing this for Tenko’, but shows 0 care for how, due to this, Tenko will end up skipping dinner (he’s a kid of 5, eating is very important for his growth!) and, when Nao points out how Tenko’s allergies are getting worse, he expresses no concern whatsoever.

What matters to him, it’s that the rules that exist to protect him will be respected, so he’ll be safe.

He dresses up his intentions as aimed to protect his children, but the only one he selfishly cares to protect is himself.

Kotarou, in upholding his rule, is not even caring of the societal pressure that presents heroes as good, forcing on his family his personal view.

His children live in a world in which people talk about heroes, has toys about them, view them as good people. He’s actually asking them to go against society’s view of heroes when they’re kids, to be different from the rest of the children. He forces them to hide their own aspirations (Hana too wishes to be a hero but doesn’t voice it, she actually lieas about her own wishes [Chap 234])...

...or tries to squash them (Tenko is clearly more vocal about how he wants to be a hero and so he suffers the brunt of Kotarou’s anger).

In short, this means the rule he forces upon his family, doesn’t protect it but actually psychologically harms his children.

The other adults in the family, Nao and her parents, don’t seem to fully realize this.

Likely, part because they feel bad for what he went through as Kotarou is a victim and they’re sympathetic toward him, part because they’re indebted to him (as he paid for the house they live in and everything else), they humor him, apparently without too many troubles. It’s not hard for them not to talk about heroes, after all, and this cause them to buy in his excuses (what I’m doing is for Tenko’s well being, he has no quirk so if he doesn’t understand he’ll only be more miserable). Because it’s not a big deal for them to respect Kotarou’s wishes, they assume the same should apply to the kids and their support is merely aimed to encourage them to endure/dismiss the situation and their feelings about it.

They fail to notice the psychological damage Kotarou is doing to his kids and continue to enable him to damage his kids. They should notice instead, the warning signs that what Kotarou is doing isn’t good for the kids are all there.

We can see how both his children are actually scared of him, Hana to the point she keeps her wishes to herself without daring to voice them and, when caught peeking in Kotarou’s study, she’s so scared she pushes the blame on Tenko...

...and Tenko finds so distressing living in that house to the point he develops psychosomatic itching in response to feeling himself rejected and in danger.

Tenko even tries to verbalize how ‘it’s the house, he gets itchy there’ but the other adults, despite caring for the kids, don’t really seem to truly notice, or, more likely, don’t want to see.

Tenko’s family is a microcosm, it reproduces, in smaller scale, society.

Heroes and common people don’t want to see what fails to conform with their pretty vision of their society. They prefer to sweep it under the rug, to pretend Endeavour isn’t an abuser because he’s so much more useful fighting what threaten them.

In the same way Tenko’s family doesn’t want to see Kotarou is mistreating/abusing his kids, that their family is flawed, that the one who allows them to live a comfortable life because he pays the bills with his works, also selfishly cares solely to protect himself and damages his own children.

They realize Tenko is sad and try to comfort him, they try to cure what they believe is an allergy, but fail to nail the cause of his pain, fails to see he feels in danger, that he feels he needs to be saved, that he feels like the house is rejecting him, leaving him to his own devices, making him miserable.

And this works so easily because one of the problems with psychological abuse is how easy is to fail to notice it or how damaging it is or persuade themselves that what they’re witnessing is not abuse.

The scars psychological abuse leave are not visible so they can be conveniently missed.

In fact we see the adults grow concerned only when the abuse becomes physical, we can see they are uncomfortable and complain when Kotarou causes Tenko to skip dinner, and they outright rebel short after they see him beat Tenko up…

...but they don’t even seem to realize Tenko’s psychological state is being harmed to the point he developed a psychosomatic rash.

(And in a way this parallels how Deku realizes Shigaraki needs saving when he sees him being threatened by All for One… but can’t quite wrap his head around how Shigaraki needed help even before that point and was screaming in the battleground that what he was doing was because society itself lead him to that point with its constant rejection)

Also, as said before, Kotarou’s status as a victim contributes to protect Kotarou, to make him look as blameless (the way hero status helps heroes to get away with what they do).

Although Nao sees her son’s distress (but still doesn’t manage to connect the dots between the hitch and the family situation) she swallows the idea that Kotarou acts in sush way because he KNOWS and therefore he’s acting for Tenko’s well being, instead than for his own.

And mind you, Kotarou was probably genuine when he said (after slapping Tenko twice and leaving him out of the house and being confronted by the family) he didn’t want things to get that far (after all his profile confirms all he wanted was a happy family), although it was probably not for Tenko or his family’s sake but for himself.

Kotarou likely built a home hoping to find back what he lost when his mother left him, his own happiness and security but, due to the psychological damage he received from it, he wasn’t capable to create a happy, joyous family, a safe environment that could fill the hole his mother left inside him because he can’t connect with his family nor truly care for them. He’s too busy protecting his own old wounds.

As a result, his family becomes a mean to an end he can’t reach (finding happiness and safety), it exists to serve to that purpose and he can’t accept his children wouldn’t conform to this and give him distress instead.

The most obvious example we have of this is when Tenko ends up losing control of his quirk.

Although Nao is scared and she’s dying due to Tenko’s quirk having hit her too, after a second of hesitation she still opens her arms and still tries to embrace her son, to comfort him, to save him from the desperation he was feeling...

...where in Kotarou’s case, despite him not even having been harmed, his instinctive first reaction is to try to protect himself by trying to keep Tenko at distance, to swat him away, hitting him with the first thing he finds, a garden instrument.

Kotarou’s first reaction isn’t to protect his son, to save him from pain, he wants to STOP TENKO from harming him, he wants to protect and save himself, with the result that, according to what we’re shown, Tenko deliberately kills him or comes to think he has deliberately killed him (I’m not sure the narration is 100% objective, previously Shigaraki claimed he hated everyone but the visual seems to imply Tenko didn’t want to kill his mother and the story overall didn’t show him as hating his mother, Hana or his grandparents, so it’s entirely possible Shigaraki is now feeding himself a narrative in which young Tenko was in control and did it out of hate still to protect himself from the pain of having murdered his family by mistake and out of fear… and also because All for one did his best to groom him to hate things).

(And again this parallels how the heroes, who shouldn’t kill, all feel perfectly justified in the idea they should kill what threatens them, be it Twice or Shigaraki)

In a way what makes it terribly ironic is that the ‘symbol of fear’ is nothing else but a very scared little boy himself, someone who nobody saved, the living representation of ‘All Might wasn’t here (to save him)’… and at the very same way that little boy who used to play with Mikkun and Tomo because no one wanted to play with them, is the young man who collects around himself people rejected by society (aka the league of villains) and plays with them videogames, wants their dreams to become reality and even sends Machia to retrieve them when they’re parted.

Ultimately, although a lot of Tenko’s issues come from having been groomed by All for One and from the trauma of seeing his quirk kill his family as well as not receiving help by passing people, the harm done to him by the abuse he suffered at home at Kotarou’s hands, is still equally visible and is the groundwork for All for One’s manipulation.

Even without the trauma due to his quirk and All for One getting involved, Tenko was a child showing signs of deep distress (Tenko scratches so much he basically ruins his skin and the itch is clearly a psychosomatic manifestation of his psychological distress) and, very likely, they would have plagued him even if he’d been allowed to grow up in his family. Actually, considering it’s implied his father’s abuse was escalating, they would have only gotten worse.

On a sidenote it can be that Tenko/Shigaraki can currently see that his father was a victim as well.

He quotes his father’s words “Heroes hurt their own families just to help complete strangers,” and claims to hate his grandmother even if he clearly couldn’t expect help from her as she was deceased. Kotarou informed him she was a monster who abandoned him so it can be Tenko/Shigaraki could see the causality of all it. Because Shimura Nana left Kotarou, Kotarou abused his two children and this in turn triggered Tenko’s loss of control over his quirk and the murder of his own family as well as his descent into becoming a villain who’s now threatening the whole Japan. As Shigaraki said, it added up, little by little.

By the way, in case I hadn’t stressed it enough, Kotarou being a victim doesn’t excuse what he did to his kids, no, not even if Tenko/Shigaraki himself can understand Kotarou was, but the idea that Tenko/Shigaraki could see the progression even in his family’s history makes for an interesting food for thoughts.

Tenko, after all, despite everything he went through and what he’s doing has, differently from Kotarou, shown more humanity.

He’s not a completely anaffective person, he showed worry for his master (before All for One tried to take him over), he cares for the league and doesn’t try to force them to do things that make him feel better. It’s little things but, for example, he remembers how the league wanted to eat Sushi and asks for it or accepts it when Dabi doesn’t want to tame Machia or doesn’t get angry when, Himeko, Twice or Spinner question him but explains himself the best he can, how he sends Machia to protect them and seems to want them to have a future in which THEY can be happy.

The league became an environment which accepts people, instead of making them feel rejected as Tenko felt rejected by his own home.

And despite everyone claiming he destroys things for the fun of it, we see that’s not quite the case. Although he claimed that, by killing Kotarou, he finally put a end to the itch (because he finally put a end to the distressing feelings his father summoned), we see him not much later racked with guilt (he’s again scratching himself as he walks).

Tenko/Shigaraki ‘s trauma due to his father’s mistreatment was never healed and got only worsened by All for one who capitalized on how Tenko came to think that, in order to find relief from what haunts him, his only way was to destroy it. Yet Tenko/Shigaraki knows this is not a fix all solution, he believes deep down that the weight in his heart will never go away but he believes all he knows is how to destroy things. He doesn’t want a future for himself (which in a way hints at how he’s suicidal too), however he cares for the guys in the league and wants them to have a chance to live how they see fit, to have all they want to have.

So, although Tenko is a victim like Kotarou, he tries to take care of his newfound family and this makes me hope that where Kotarou was ultimately what triggered his own family to be destroyed, Tenko will, instead, be the one who’ll manage to protect it as, in a way, his intentions are the opposite to what his father claimed the heroes are. If heroes are people who hurt their own families only to help complete strangers, Tenko/Shigaraki hurts complete strangers to help his found family.

It’s probably no coincidence Tenko/Shigaraki looks like Shimura Nana, down to having the same mole she had.

Now, the ideal outcome of the story would be that those two positions were to be reconciled into a ‘let’s hurt no one and help everyone’ because, if we accept the parallel family/society, saving your family saves society and saving society save your family.

After all the league members became a threat to society because their families didn’t save them, if their families had properly taken care of them they wouldn’t have ended up in such situation… but at the same time if they continue to care solely for their own little group at the expense of society, society will continue to try to destroy them in a vicious circle where no one gains something and everyone loses.

“One for all, all for one” should be a single unit after all, a single philosophy, a single person should be protecting society and society should be protecting the single person… but at the moment no one seem to fully have realized this in the story so we can only wait and see.

[animescreencolle]

Kotarou wa Hitorigurashi S01E02

[capmangacap]

[lady-charinette]

OH MY GOD-

Kotaro's mother touched him with gloves on because she was repulsed by her own child and couldn't bear the thought of touching him directly?

[gainprincess]

💖 Blessing! for Koji: Independent Action EX to ensure that even if her contract with her Master were to be severed in some way, the Assassin would still be able to perform her duties and live on long enough to achieve her goals...

Okay yes, Merlin didn't have to grant it to her in the form of a kiss but come on! How's he supposed to resist when she's looking that radiant?!

"..."

Koji stares. And stares. And stares. Every movement of her head is a twitch, as if her programming is bugging out. Evey movement of her arms is a quick, wide jerk, flinging them about as her tendrils slot out from her back, impaling themselves into the ground behind her as she rises up to her full height, towering over Merlin.

She looks to be glitching out...because she is. Her programming, her existence has not been touched up since she came to Chaldea, and now that she's recieved something so tender, so genuine, and so precious, pressed against those false, cold lips of hers...she's coming into conflict with herself. Because she didn't expect this when she was first summoned.

She didn't expect to fall in love. She didn't expect to feel this genuine of an affectionate bursting from her chest, and it's like a panic attack through her magical circuits as she tries to comprehend the triad of intersecting emotions punching her in the metaphorical chest.

Reaction 1: Melt into Merlin's soft arms, be comforted and squished by his pudge, and never leave his side ever again. Give herself to him and finally settle the anxiety that's built in her stomach at the thought of his smile.

Reaction 2: Leave. Leave, say nothing, and break his heart. Break his heart, refuse his gift, and lose the only person she's cared about besides herself, Danzou, and Kotarou. Assassins should be alone. Monstrous dolls should be alone. But...

Reaction 3: End her own life, get resummoned. A simple, if incredibly violent and harsh, answer. Get rid of the feelings when she's summoned again, the memories, and never have to spend time with Merlin ever, ever, ever again. Though...that's probably futile. She'll just fall in love with him all over again, because he's truly her ideal man.

Only the first seems perfect, because it hurts no one. It's perfect. But...But, she can't bring herself to go for it. Because she needs to not hurt him.

'It hurts no one'.

What a terrible lie.

She'll hurt him, inevitably

She'll hurt the man she loves, because she's a terrible thing, who doesn't even know who she is.

She'll hurt Merlin.

Merlin.

Merlin.

MeRLIn.

MEEeeEEErreRRRRLLlllIINNN-

MERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLINMERLIN!

"Ahahahahahaha....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!"

She flees. She can't accept the gift. She can't. She can'tshewon'tshewon'tsheshouldn'tshecouldn'tshewon'twon'tWONT!

He deserves to be happy.

She can't make him so.