#knowing that i had mixed feelings about my birthday and knowing that friends in the past seldom organized things for it
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something hilariously ironic and somehow kind of sweet: this is the first time I've ever received flowers from a boy in my LIFE. this is the first time, and they aren't from my ex-boyfriend (the thought never crossed his mind) or my father or my brother..... the FIRST TIME I've ever received intentional flowers from a boy, it's from boy problem no 2. đđđđđ like what on earth!!!!!
#if i don't laugh about it i WILL cry#this is the second emotionally unavailable engineer boy who is so gentle it breaks my heart#i am floored by how kind of a friend he is. he and another friend intentionally planned a surprise#knowing that i had mixed feelings about my birthday and knowing that friends in the past seldom organized things for it#i have FLOWERS from him!!! dianthus flowers. and a book of prayers!!!!!!#in some ways this too is a gift.#so is the even more ironic fact that he told me a few days ago that he loved me (he meant it platonically). im not making this up lol#you couldn't make this up!!!#from a narrative point of view this is yet another HILARIOUS situation in the ongoing series of romantic mishaps#it does make my heart twist a little but it is light enough that i can still laugh about it!#i have a great deal of fondness for this man and i will not agonize over this the way i did over the first engineer :)
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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⧠Logan Howlett x reader x Peter Parker
⧠summary: Your new teammate Peter Parker has a huge crush on you, and your boyfriend Logan has always wanted to watch someone else fuck you. Itâs Peterâs birthday and Logan decides to share.
⧠warnings: smut 18+, mmf threesome, oral, unprotected piv, so much cum lol, Peter is very pathetic lmao (and not very experienced) and more of a sub, Logan is dominant and reader is dom-ish for Peter but sub-ish for Logan, little bit of say gex đ (oral, Logan receiving), pet names (my girl, good girl/boy, baby, bub), implied age gap (Peter is the youngest â didnât mention a specific age but early 20s-ish, reader is a few years older, Logan is obv the oldest), Peter being a nerd, lots of teaching Peter (mostly how to go down on each other), also the fic starts with smut right away lol
⧠note: idek if anyone else is interested in this character constellation and needs it as much as i do but theyâre my two biggest marvel crushes (in completely different ways) so i had to!!!!! like hellooođľâđŤ and i really love this omg
⧠word count: 7.5k oops
-
Youâre on top of Logan, riding him like your life depends on it.Â
Loganâs so good in bed that you usually just let him pamper you; you both like it that way. Itâs also what makes the times when youâre on top even more special. Your boyfriend is struggling not to cum in you yet, fingers indenting your hips where heâs grabbing you hard.Â
âYou feel so fucking good, baby, such a good girl,â he groans underneath you.Â
You grin as you lean down to give him a sloppy kiss, pulling away before heâs done with you so you can resume bouncing up and down in his lap.
Logan slides his hand between your legs, beginning to rub your clit as he feels you clenching around him tighter.Â
Youâre so close.
Youâre so fucked out that you barely register the door to your bedroom opening.Â
âHey, do you know ifâ oh god, sorry!â you hear Peterâs voice, and before you can catch a glimpse of him the door shuts with a bang.
It takes a few moments for your heartbeat to calm down and for you to realise what just happened. Peter walked in on you fucking your boyfriend. Innocent, nervous, adorable Peter Parker â new recruit at the mansion. Youâve only just barely befriended your new teammate and youâre not sure your friendship can handle him catching you like this.
You look down at Logan for the first time, only to see him smiling.Â
âHe did that on purpose,â he chuckles, hands still resting on your hips as if heâs ready for you to start right back up. You stay on top of him with his cock nestled deep inside you, pulsing, but you canât get yourself to focus on the pleasure of it.
âHeâd never do something like that on purpose. Heâs way too innocent for that. He wasnât meant to see us like that â I bet heâs traumatised!â
Logan laughs again, âTraumatised because heâs not the one fucking you maybe, sure.â
Your mouth hangs open at Loganâs accusation â Peter sees you as a friend, nothing more! You doubt he even thinks about sex, let alone about having sex with you.Â
Rising to your knees, you let Logan slip out of you, his cock slapping against his abs with a dull, wet smack, a mix of his precum and your wetness smearing over his skin.
âWhat? Weâre stopping cause of him?â Logan grabs your hand, âHeâd get what he wants.â
âLogan,â you warn, somewhat seriously. Heâs making Peter out to be someone he really isnât.
He smiles, adjusting your hips so youâre hovering over him again, jerking his cock and positioning the tip at your entrance. You smile down at him â itâs hard to resist when he looks so good and your pussy is still wet and not yet satisfied.
âPeter did that on purpose, bub,â he repeats, breath becoming laboured as you sink down on him, âYouâre not telling me youâve been oblivious to his crush on you all this time, right?âÂ
You involuntarily clench your pussy around him, closing your eyes so you donât have to face looking at him after that. But Loganâs smirking â you donât have to open your eyes to know that; you can practically hear it. He jerks his hips under you, starting to fuck into you from below.
âYâlike that, baby? Spider-Manâs got a crush on my girl. You donât know that?â
It almost feels like youâre cumming with how much wetter you get at his words, and you manage to open your eyes to climb off him properly this time, lying down next to him, burying your face into the pillow to hide.
âNoo,â you squeal, though it comes out muffled.
Logan slaps your ass, keeping his hand there to grab your flesh, âUh-uh, baby. You canât squeeze around my cock like that and then run away.â
You giggle, leaning up to look at him, âThat was just because I was sitting on your big dick. It had nothing to do with Peter.â
âSuure, bub, sure. Can I keep fucking you then?â
You nod, scooting closer to him, both of you on your side. Logan hikes your leg over his hip and slowly thrusts into you as your limbs tangle together. He spits on his hand to rub your clit messily, the way he knows is enough when you were already this close to an orgasm just moments earlier.
âYouâre the only one I want, Logan,â you tell him in a quiet voice, distracted by how good he feels inside you as he fucks you, playing with your puffy clit.
âI know that, baby, I know that. I know youâre my girl. My perfect, pretty girl. Doesnât mean you canât enjoy that someone else has a crush on you. Canât expect Peter to be blind.â
You cum around his cock then, moaning into his skin as he fucks you through your orgasm, filling you with his own load seconds later.
Logan drops the topic of Peter while you cuddle afterwards, and itâs hard to keep thinking about it when youâve got your gorgeous, beefy boyfriend next to you, your hand buried in his hair as you massage his scalp the way you know he likes.
Itâs when Logan says heâs going downstairs to get you some water that you remember Peter.
âTell him Iâm sorry if you see him.â
âSure, bub,â Logan says dismissively, kissing your knee with a teasing grin as he gets off the bed. You suppose heâs right â you have nothing to be sorry for. Itâs Peterâs fault for walking in without knocking.
But you canât help but feel bad. Heâs an adult, only a few years your minor, but he seems so innocent. He likes you â you can agree with that. He admires you; that much is obvious too, but you donât know if calling it a crush is an exaggeration. If Logan is right and Peter has a crush on you, youâre sure itâs nothing sexual.
-
Logan can sense Peter from a mile away. Peter is pacing up and down in the kitchen. Logan smiles at the floor as he enters the room.
Spider-Manâs face is flushed â whether itâs from embarrassment or arousal, Logan canât tell. But the bulge in Peterâs sweatpants assures Logan that he was right in his assumption in the first place. He turns to the sink to pour a glass of water to take upstairs, giving Peter the time to adjust himself.
âMy girl says sheâs sorry,â Logan says in amusement, turning around, âDidnât mean for you to see us like that.â
âWhat? Iâ no, Iâm sorry. I should have knocked,â Peter stammers.
âThatâs what I told her.â
Peter doesnât reply, having a stare contest with the floor so that he doesnât have to meet Loganâs eyes.
Logan chuckles, âSo whyâre you in the kitchen and not in your bedroom?â
Peter doesnât miss the sexual implication. âI feel bad.â
âWhat, you think people donât jerk off thinking about their crush just because that person is in a relationship? Itâs just in your head, bub, you can do what you want.â
Peter looks up. Itâs not that he feels bad towards Logan; he feels bad towards you. But if Logan thinks that way and youâre his girlfriend, maybe that means you share his opinion. Peter is too lost in thought to reply to Logan.
âSuit yourself,â Logan says as he leaves the kitchen.Â
-
âDid you see him?â you ask Logan when he comes back.
âYeah, said heâs sorry, he should have knocked.â
âAnd he didnât seem disturbed?â
Logan laughs out loud at your question, âNo, baby, donât worry. Heâs not disturbed. His only problem seemed to be how hard he was.â
Your mouth falls open, âReally?â
âMaybe heâs not as innocent as you thought after all, bub,â Logan smirks, pulling you closer.
That revelation turns you on more than you care to admit, to yourself or to Logan.
-
Itâs Peterâs birthday a few weeks later and heâs happy as long as he gets to spend it with you.Â
Heâs not expecting you to get him anything, but you get him a Lego set that heâs been wanting for months. Itâs something heâs mentioned to you only in passing and he canât believe that you remembered.
You make it so hard for him to see you only as a friend when youâre this attentive. To be fair, heâd probably fall in love with anyone who gives him Lego, but he already liked you before. If only your boyfriend wasnât the most attractive, masculine man in the entire world who, even though Peterâs confident in his skills, could probably maim Peter without any effort at all.
Heâs not sure if itâs true, but youâve told Peter that Logan is busy today, so he canât join you for Peterâs birthday lunch. He introduces you to his friends and his aunt that have come to his small celebration, and he fantasises that surely some of them must think you and him have a thing going on. May definitely gives him a look when she sees how gorgeous you are, but she already knows all about Peterâs hopeless crush on you.
You kiss Peterâs cheek when everyone leaves, letting him blush in peace as you go up to your bedroom.Â
You told him youâd watch a film with him tonight but you seem to have forgot. Itâs evening already and he wouldnât want you to stay up too long for him if you watched the film later. Even if you did forget, heâs grateful he got to spend the day with you.
Heâs about to bring his best gift â the one you gave him â upstairs and to his room.
âYou like it?â Loganâs voice sounds behind Peter.
âI love it. Iâve wanted this for ages,â he grins.
âIâm glad you appreciate it. She made me threaten a twelve-year-old over it. It was the last set they had at the store.â
Peter grows even fonder of you. He knows he must be blushing, but he also knows thereâs no point in hiding it â not since the night he walked in on you and Logan having sex. Heâs been hoping Logan didnât tell you about their run-in afterwards, although he knows he can be a little obvious regardless. Itâs hard to hide a crush as big as the one he has on you.
Logan clears his throat, folding his arms, all those muscles bulging, âIâm not the best with material gifts but Iâve got something else for you.â
âYeah?â Peterâs wary. Logan and him arenât exactly friends. He wasnât even expecting you to give him a gift.
âI know you wanna fuck my girl.â
Peter gulps at Loganâs directness, starting to stammer out a few words that make no sense.
âYâdonât have to deny it. Canât blame you, can I? You wanna live out your fantasy?â
Peter finds it hard to imagine that this isnât a trap or some sick joke. âNoâno, of course not. Sheâs your girlfriend and Iâd never, I mean, sheâd never cheat on you and Iâd never try anything. I respect you so muchââ.
Logan cuts him off, âCalm down, bub. This isnât a trick. Iâm asking if you wanna fuck my girl for your birthday. We both had the idea,â Logan smiles, and he doesnât have to wait for a verbal answer to know that Peter wants it â the gleam in his eyes tells him enough, âCâmon. Sheâs waiting in your room.â
Peter abandons the Lego box on the floor. He couldnât care less if some student found it and took it for themself. Peterâs on his way to better things.
-
Peter doesnât let himself believe it until Logan opens the door to his bedroom, and there you are. Youâre sitting on his bed â something Peter has imagined many times but never even dreamt of seeing in reality â in the most gorgeous set of lingerie heâs ever seen (not that heâs seen many in real life⌠or any).
âHi,â he waves awkwardly, unsure whether to try and hide his growing erection. Youâre half-naked only a few feet away from him, and this is better than all of his wet dreams about you combined.
Youâre grinning, first at Peter and then at Logan, who closes the door behind Peter.
Logan takes a step forward to bend down and kiss you. Itâs a short but sloppy kiss, Loganâs hand resting on your cheek. He looks back, chuckling at how desperate Peter must already look, and sits down in the chair near the bed.
âHope you donât mind, Iâve made myself comfortable,â you bite your lip. Even your voice alone could make Peter cum.
âNo no no, not at all. You look so gorgeous. I never thought Iâd get to see someone look so sexy in real life.â
You giggle and it feels heavenly to be making you laugh like that. You lift your hand for him to take. He gasps when his hand touches yours, and you pull him to the bed with you. He feels like hyperventilating just from being so close to you in nothing but underwear. Peter wills himself to be strong; he canât embarrass himself and cum right away.
âYou know, Loganâs been trying to tell me for a while that you might have a tiny crush on me, and I didnât believe it at first butâŚâ
Peter laughs nervously before you can finish your sentence, but you donât have to. Everyone in this room knows how much Peter likes you. All of Xavierâs school probably knows â teachers and students.
âYeah,â Peter says weakly, cheeks hot.
 âLogan and I thought this could be a nice present for your birthday, if you want. Cause I think youâre cute too, and Logan doesnât mind sharing me for one night.â
It hurts a little that you only find Peter cute, but heâll take whatever he can get. Clearly heâs cute enough to fuck, and thatâs all that really matters right now.
âOf course I want to, so what are we doing?â Peter doesnât mean for it to come out so stupidly. He knows youâre going to have sex, he just doesnât know the details.
âIâm gonna get you nice and hard first,â you say it with a smile, looking down at his lap, knowing exactly that heâs more than hard enough already, âand then Loganâs gonna join us and you can both fuck me at the same time. Does that sound alright?â
Peter grins. âMore than alright. I donât know if Iâm gonna last long but I only need a few seconds before I can get hard again,â he tells you proudly, before he remembers that your boyfriend has healing abilities too, far more complex than Peterâs. Youâre probably used to going endless rounds. Now he just feels a bit silly for admitting that he canât last long.Â
Peter turns to the side to face Logan. Heâs manspreading, arms folded cockily in front of his chest, and itâs unnerving how a single person can ooze that much confidence. Although, if he looked like Logan and had a girlfriend like you, Peterâs sure he would be less insecure too.
âHave you had sex before?â you ask Peter all kindly, and he blushes thinking about the image of him you apparently have in your head. Heâs not that experienced, but heâs not that innocent either.
âYeah,â is all he manages to say at first.
âWhat have you done?â you ask him, gently resting your hand on his jaw, thumb trailing over Peterâs bottom lip. He stops himself from licking it.
âIâve, uh, been inside of a woman before and Iâve, like, fingered her. My ex-girlfriend.â
You smile at the unnecessary piece of information, âThatâs it? Youâve never had your dick sucked?â
Peter shakes his head, feeling like heâll cum just from your words, âNo, and Iâve never gone down on a woman.â
âYou wanna?â
He nods his head so eagerly that it makes you giggle again.
âMaybe later,â you tell Peter, your hand dropping back to your lap.
âYou can eat her pussy after Iâve cum in it,â Logan says with a smirk. You give him a look, turning to assure Peter.
âDonât worry, you donât have to do that.â
Peter looks between you two, âI donât mind! Iâm up for anything.â
You smile, moving to straddle him as you hum, âGood boy.â
He tenses underneath you, eyes screwed shut, and he canât even enjoy the way he cums as soon as you settle on top of him, your hands on his shoulders. Hot embarrassment floods Peterâs body, and he feels like he might cry.
âAw, itâs okay,â your voice is nothing but sweet with not even a hint of amusement, and Peter dares to open his eyes. Your face is inches away from his, and your closeness makes him feel less embarrassed.
âYou like me that much, hm?â you continue, and Peter hears a quiet laugh from Logan, but he doesnât care about his opinion, only yours, âIâm flattered you do. Glad you like your gift.â
âI really thought the lego set was my favourite present,â he says. This time he cracks a smile too as Logan and you giggle at his words.
âLetâs get you out of your clothes, okay?â
You get off Peter after he nods, pulling off his shirt. Peter stands up as you kneel in front of the bed to pull off his jeans, biting your lip when you feel how sticky his cum-stained boxers are.
âLook at what a mess youâve made, baby. So cute.â
Peter swears youâll stop associating that word with him by the end of the night, although heâs starting to like you calling him that. He takes one glance at you on your knees for him, and he has to look away in fear of cumming again immediately.Â
âI know,â Logan tells him, and Peter sees then how hard he already is too. Peter canât believe Logan gets you like this every night, but for now he smiles at him as they silently bond over how attracted to you they both are. Itâs impossible not to be.
Loganâs eyes drift down to Peterâs hard cock, and youâre grinning back up at your boyfriend, âLook how big he is, baby. Almost the same size as you.â The joy in your voice makes Peter stand a little bit taller. Heâs proud that you like his dick. Itâs probably the proudest moment of his life thus far.
You pull Peter back on the bed, sitting down as you lean back against your hands, âYou wanna unwrap your present?â
Peter nods, smiling at the goosebumps that erupt on your flesh as he pulls at the ribbon that youâve wrapped around your waist. He leans over to place it on his nightstand â heâs keeping that forever.
When he sits down in front of you, the sweet smell of you hits him. He looks between your legs, and thereâs a wet spot on your panties. All because of him? He keeps feeling prouder and prouder.
âThought about this so many times. Jerked off at least three times every single day since I walked in on you two.â
You and Logan smile at each other. He asks Peter, âYou did that on purpose?â
Peter doesnât turn to face Logan, the blush that has only just subsided flaring back up. âN-no. Of course not.��� He knows neither of you believe his lie. He couldnât help himself.
âDonât worry. She liked it too,â Logan informs him, and Peterâs eyes go wide.
âYouâre a handsome boy, Pete,â you shrug, brushing your hand through his hair and he hums at the nickname.
âCan I kiss you?â he asks finally, cock already so hard he can barely think, and you havenât even done anything yet.
âGo ahead,â Logan says, but Peter pays him no mind.
âI wasnât asking you,â he says bravely, and your eyes go to those of your boyfriend as you raise your eyebrows.
âTold you heâs got it in him,â you say, pulling Peter close to press your plush lips to his. Itâs like an explosion of endorphins, and Peter knows that from this moment on he can die happy. You pull him closer, kisses getting wetter as the sound of them takes over the room, and itâs the hottest thing Peter has ever experienced.
âHere,â you briefly pause, taking his hand and guiding it to the clasp of your bra at your back. He fiddles with it for a few seconds, and you want to give him a chance, but then the bed dips with the weight of Logan, and he opens your bra with ease.
Peter doesnât know when he took his clothes off, but Logan is naked except for his boxers. He looks nowhere nearly as good as you, of course, but his muscles arenât exactly an unwelcome sight.
âIsnât my girl so pretty, Pete?â Logan asks, pulling the straps of your bra down your arms, taking off your bra.
âSheâs gorgeous,â Peter rasps, âSheâs perfect.â Logan hums in agreement.
Peter has imagined your tits too many times to count, and yet theyâre even better than anything heâs fantasised about. Heâs too nervous to touch you, but you take his shaky hands, putting them on your breasts.
âOh my god,â Peter whispers, breathlessly cupping and squeezing at your tits as his cock leaks with precum. He sees you biting your lip as you look at his lap, and Logan takes Peterâs hands off your tits.
âTake off her underwear,â Logan commands as you smile at his words. You lift your hips, upper body leaning against Logan, and Peter pulls your panties down your legs. He throws them off the bed somewhere, hoping you wonât be able to find them again so that Peter can keep them forever.
He moans loudly when you spread your legs, and itâs a wonder that Peter doesnât cum again just at the sight of your pussy. Youâre perfect, and so wet, and he falls to his hands, in front of you on all fours.
âYou want her mouth or her pussy first?â Logan asks, although you and him already know the answer.
âWanna go down on you,â Peter says, unable to tear his eyes away from your pussy. You spread your legs further for him, and he looks up at you with the most adorable puppy eyes youâve ever seen.
âYou can,â you smile.
Peter inhales deeply when he squashes his face between your thighs, trying to burn the memory of how good you smell into his brain forever.Â
He doesnât have a technique, he just starts. You let out a soft moan when Peter licks up your entire pussy once; he moans too as he tastes you. He grabs your soft thighs, putting them over his shoulders as he lies down.
You give him a reassuring smile as he begins to eat you out, experimenting with different licks and kisses. You turn to your side to start kissing Logan, your hand holding his wrist as his arm drapes over your chest.
Peter licks greedily at your pussy, and you reach into Loganâs boxers to start stroking the hard length of him. Your hand is coated in his precum quickly, and he smiles into the kiss before he gently nips at your lip.
âYou okay there, bub?â Logan pulls away to smirk at Peter. If you can still kiss Logan that well, then Peter isnât doing a good job. You both look down to find Peter more focussed on grinding his cock against the bed rather than on eating you out. He blushes.
You reach out to touch his cheek, some of Loganâs precum from your hand wiping against Peterâs face, âyouâre so cute.â
He doesnât even register the word anymore.
âYou want Logan to teach you?â
Peter nods, moving only minimally to make space for Logan next to him, both their wide shoulders knocking against each otherâs (okay, Loganâs are slightly bigger). Logan huffs but doesnât say anything, placing one of your legs over his shoulder and pressing your other knee up against your chest.
���Hereâs how you do it,â Logan looks at Peter, bending down to press a sloppy kiss right against your clit, coating you in his spit before he begins to gently suck. You squirm immediately, and Peter canât wait to try it out on you.
Logan pushes two fingers into your wet pussy, moving them in a way that you evidently like. Peter doesnât know what to look at â your pretty face or your pretty pussy. Logan huffs next to him, âI know she looks good, kid, but you gotta focus if you wanna make her cum.â
Peter nods, watching Logan sucking on your clit and moving his fingers inside you.
âYou can use your fingers to fuck her,â he explains.
âI know,â Peter says, his tone perhaps a little more petulant than what he was aiming for, âI just hadnât gotten her consent to do that yet, so I didnât.â
You smile at him, âyou can do whatever you want to me, Pete.â Â
And thatâs all heâs ever wanted to hear in his life.
Logan nods at him, sitting back up, and Peter gets between your legs. He knows heâs got it easier now because Logan had his mouth on you for a bit, but it wouldnât be fair otherwise. Logan is like an old man with loads of experience, and he probably gets to fuck you every night, so he has an unfair advantage.
Your boyfriend gets next to you, kissing you â and itâs all sensual and passionate and wet and Peter canât help but stare for a few moments. Logan starts touching your tits, groping you and moving to gently play with your nipples.
You pull away from the kiss, a string of spit hanging between your and Loganâs mouth, âPete?â you ask softly, but Peter can hear some desperation in your voice. He doesnât need to be told twice.
First, he quickly licks your pussy just to get that heavenly taste in his mouth again, then settles on a more precise movement of his tongue. He circles your clit, hearing you sigh against Loganâs mouth, but Peter isnât sure if heâs the one who evoked that sound.
He slides two fingers into your pussy, curling them how Logan showed him to. Heâs stopped moving his mouth, too concentrated on looking at your face to see a reaction.
âThatâs it, Peter, donât stop,â you moan, pushing his head back down and he happily wraps his lips around your clit, fucking you gently with his fingers.
âYeah, baby, heâs got you,â Logan says into your neck, âYouâve got her, right, Peter?â he asks all smugly.
âMhhmmm,â Peter squeaks without taking his mouth off you, and the vibration of his voice seems to make you squirm a bit more. He decides to let himself moan the way heâs been wanting to the entire time, subtly grinding his hips into the bed beneath him as he eats you out and fucks you with his fingers.
You cum with a cry that makes Peter even prouder than heâs been all night, and he thinks heâll savour the feeling of your thighs squeezing around his head for the rest of his life. He pushes his tongue into your pussy to taste as much of your arousal as he can, stopping when he feels your and Loganâs eyes on him.
âDid such a good job,â you tell him, and he grins proudly. He gets on his knees to lean up and kiss you. Your tongue slides into his mouth, and his heart skips a beat at the way you smile into the kiss. Heâs in heaven.
âYou wanna fuck me now?â you ask, and Peterâs eyes go wide as he sits up and gets back between your thighs.
âAnd I want you too,â you smile up at your boyfriend, pulling at the waistband of his boxers. Peter has no idea how Logan has this much self-restraint, watching as he gets off the bed and takes off his boxers with a grin. Peter sees how you drool at the sight of Loganâs big dick, and Peter feels his own mouth watering.Â
âHere you go, baby. Gonna be a good girl for me, right? Gonna take my cock? You been waiting for this, hm?â Logan kneels next to you. He holds his cock over your face, lightly slapping the tip against your lips. Peterâs cock pulses against his abs.Â
You nod wordlessly, wrapping your lips around your boyfriendâs huge cock. You pull off him only to spit on it, jerking off the lower half of him thatâs harder to fit in your mouth.Â
The wet sounds coming from you sucking Loganâs cock make Peterâs dick twitch as he spills a new load of precum. It lands on your thigh, getting your attention.Â
Peter doesnât know how you can spare a single moment away from Loganâs cock, but you pull your mouth off him, âYou can start if youâre ready,â you smile at Peter. Both of you watch him as he pushes his cock inside you.Â
Your warm, velvety walls suck his cock in unlike anything heâs ever felt before. Peterâs eyes flutter shut and he just stays like that for a few moments, the sound your mouth makes around Loganâs cock doesnât make it easier for Peter. Even if you donât seem to mind him cumming fast, heâs trying to prevent it, feeling so close again already.
He hears Logan huff out a laugh, and Peter opens his eyes. Youâve stopped going down on your boyfriend, looking at Peter all sweetly.
âItâs okay if you cum quickly, I did too at the start,â Logan confesses. Itâs hard to imagine him â the epitome of virility â not being able to last long, even with someone as perfect as you, but it makes Peter feel better about himself, by a lot.
âI really donât mind it, Pete,â you smile, and Peter nods. He looks down towards where youâre joined, your pussy stuffed with his cock. Even though youâre used to something even bigger, thereâs an obvious strain, and youâre squeezing around him hard even when heâs not moving.
You and Logan watch as Peter starts to fuck you, your hand on your boyfriendâs cock, lazily jerking him off. Logan doesnât seem to mind watching Peter pushing into you slowly. The two pairs of eyes make him feel more self-conscious, yet itâs also invigorating.
Peter clumsily rubs at your clit, at least attempting to focus on something other than how good he feels.
âYouâre so tight, feel so good,â he mumbles, and you seem like youâre enjoying it too, back arched and hand faltering around Loganâs cock. Youâre too distracted by Peter.
âDonât stop,â you say quietly, evidently not there yet but Peterâs sure you feel good.
You share an intimate smile with Logan, and he tells Peter, âDoinâ a really good job with my girl. This is the only thing, bub..â
Logan tries to hide his smile as he grabs Peterâs hand to guide his fingers back to your clit from where theyâd drifted off to your thigh, where heâd just been holding you. Peterâs cheeks turn red â or maybe theyâve been red the entire time â as he goes back to playing with your clit.
He doesnât notice it, but a few seconds later he stops touching your clit again, too distracted by how good your pussy feels. Logan shoves his hand between your legs instead, making you moan as soon as he starts rubbing your clit in circles.
Your pussy spasms around Peterâs cock as you orgasm, and he can practically feel the pleasure flowing through you.
âCan I cum inside you?â The question comes too late to wait for an answer so Peter pulls out, cumming all over your belly in sticky ribbons as he jerks off desperately.
You bite your lip when heâs done, humming as you take some of Peterâs cum off your belly, pushing your finger between your lips. âTastes so good,â you tell Peter, âTaste it.âÂ
You swipe some more on your finger, bringing your hand up to Peterâs face as you put your finger in his mouth. He wraps his lips around it hesitantly, smiling shyly when he tastes his own saltiness. Loganâs watching him too, cock still hard.
You gently nudge Peterâs head down towards your belly, and he smiles at you sweetly as his lips glide over your skin and he begins to lick up his own cum.
âDonât swallow it all,â you say, your hand in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. He nods obediently, keeping his mouth closed when heâs licked your skin clean.
âHere,â you open your mouth for him, pulling him up to your face. His eyes go wide when he realises what you want him to do, and he holds your chin as he spits his cum into your mouth.Â
He was starting to worry a little because, even though he knows he has no problem getting hard after a first orgasm, itâs been a while since heâs gone three times in a row. But now his dick is so hard again that it almost hurts.
You stick out your tongue, showing Peter and Logan the cum mixed with your spit in your mouth. âCome taste him,â you look up at Logan with the sexiest smile anyone has ever smiled, and Peter feels his cock flex as he somehow gets even harder.
Logan rolls his eyes playfully, bending down to kiss you nevertheless. Some of Peterâs cum runs down your chin, and Logan pulls away from the kiss to lick it up. Peter thinks he really should start training his stamina with how close he is again just from this.
You still donât swallow when Logan stops kissing you. âCome here,â you tell Peter, and he kneels next to you so you have him and Logan at either side, their dicks hard. You sit up a little, spitting the rest of Peterâs cum into your hand as you reach for Loganâs cock, starting to jerk him off.Â
He gives you a fake annoyed look at you using Peterâs cum as lube, but itâs obvious he likes it, and it makes Peter reach out to his own cock to give it a few strokes â he canât help himself.
âHavenât made you cum yet,â you peer up at Logan, who puts a reassuring hand on your cheek.
âYou know I donât mind watching you two, bub,â he says, and your wide smile hints that Logan has told you something slightly different in private. He doesnât just mind it, he loves it. Peter gets why Logan might find that hard to admit in front of someone else, something about conventions and possessiveness, but heâs glad that Logan decided to share. Heâs glad that you want him.
You wrap your lips around Loganâs cock again. While you suck his cock, you stop Peterâs hand on his cock, jerking him off instead. You pull your lips off Logan, turning to suck Peterâs dick.
You switch between them a few times, the taste of their precum mixing in your mouth and dripping down to their balls when you suck their dicks. Peter particularly enjoys this, awaiting his turn eagerly every time. The head of his cock is swollen with lust against the inside of your cheek, and you turn to him to focus on him fully, letting him get lost in the feeling of fucking your warm, wet mouth.
You put your hand on Loganâs hip, guiding him down the bed. He smirks as he gets between your thighs, watching you suck another manâs cock as he starts to fuck you. He goes slowly first, letting you adjust to his size as you moan around Peterâs dick.
Logan watches Peterâs eyes flutter shut at the vibration of your voice. Logan knows youâre not just moaning because of him inside you though.
âYou like that, baby, hm? Like sucking Peterâs cock?â you donât take your mouth off him, but your sparkling eyes meet Loganâs. Itâs a look of understanding.Â
Logan is ready to cum, but he tries to draw it out. He can go endless rounds but the first orgasm is always the best. He wants to savour it, save it for a bit longer. He focusses instead on making you cum, fucking against your g-spot, almost making you see stars.
You moan around Peterâs cock when you cum again, and Logan almost submits, but heâs able to fuck you through your orgasm without cumming. Peter spills into your mouth as your cheeks hollow around him, sucking him deeper down your throat.
âSuch a good girl,â Logan praises you until your pussy stops pulsing with an orgasm, and you give him a fucked out smile as Peter pulls his cock out of your mouth.
âMy girl,â Logan adds, kissing you, and you sigh against his lips in pleasure.
You sit up to grab the water bottle from the side of Peterâs bed and take a sip. You pass it to Peter and Logan afterwards, and you donât move back between them once youâve put the bottle away, so theyâre facing each other.
You sit on your knees, looking between them as theyâre impatiently waiting for you to come back, both their cocks standing hard and proud against their abs.
You bite your lip, âAre you into men, Pete?â
Peterâs heart misses a beat and then happily continues drumming against his chest as he nods eagerly, although heâs not sure why it matters right now.
You share a brief silent exchange with Logan before your next words. âSo is Logan,â you nod towards your boyfriend. You wait for them to catch on to what youâre saying, but Peter is too shy to and Logan is still contemplating. This wasnât a part of the plan, but he canât say heâs against it. He just didnât know you wanted to see him with another man the way he wants to see you with one.
âUm, what now?â Peter asks with a nervous smile, ready to please.
You fight the urge to simply answer now you kiss, âYou think you two are the only ones that get a show?â
Peterâs eyes widen slightly at your suggestion before they brighten. A shy yet excited smile takes over his features.
âYou sure, baby?â Logan asks you. You bite your lip, nodding slowly. Logan smirks, because he knows that exact look and you havenât been quite this horny all night yet.
âOnly if you want to as well,â you tell him, and he doesnât need to answer.
âThis okay for you, bub?â Logan lowers his voice as he speaks to Peter.Â
He replies through an eager nod, âyeah.â The word comes out as a whisper.
Logan smirks as he leans in, gently placing his big hand around Peterâs throat. Heâs not squeezing, just holding him in place. You didnât mind Peter being all squirmy when you kissed him, but Logan wants to keep him still.
You watch their cocks rub against each otherâs abs as they get closer, strings of spit connecting their lips as they make out, tongues tangling in desperation.
Itâs sloppy, the way they kiss, and you could watch them forever.
Logan pulls his lips from Peterâs with a wet sound, firmly patting his cheek, âNow get on your knees, bub.â
The command makes even your knees buckle, and you watch Peter happily drop to the carpet, kneeling between Loganâs spread legs as he moves to the edge of the bed. He beckons you over to his side, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a messy kiss to your mouth.
You know heâs close now, having denied himself an orgasm this long.
Peter wraps a greedy hand around the base of Loganâs cock, leaning in to press a few kisses to his dick. You and Logan watch him, you pulled closely against his side.
âYou want me to show you what to do?â you ask Peter after a while of him not doing anything but kissing and licking. Peter nods quickly, âyes please,â and you kiss him after you sit down next to him, tasting your boyfriendâs precum and some of your own arousal on him.
âThink heâs almost there,â you tell Peter as you look up at Logan through your lashes, and he smirks.
âThatâs not a problem,â Peter says quickly.
âHere, you can use your tongue,â you tell him, wrapping your hand around Loganâs cock as you take him into your mouth, tongue wet against the underside of him, âtry it.â
You keep holding Loganâs cock as you pull off him, angling it towards Peterâs face. His face is flushed as he takes Loganâs dick in his mouth for the first time, sucking on the tip.
âThatâs it, doing so good,â you brush your thumb over Peterâs cheek where it bulges when he takes Logan deeper. Your and Loganâs eyes on him make him nervous, and he pulls off to kiss you instead.
You make out with him for a few moments, letting him kiss you greedily and wetly, before you guide your mouths back to Loganâs cock. You and Peter part only minimally as you kiss either side of Loganâs dick, spit running down from your mouths to his balls as you share him.
âFeels so good,â Logan mumbles, all blissed out, watching his perfect, pretty girlfriend share his cock with another guy.
You see how close he is, slowly pulling your mouth off him and leaning your cheek against his knee as you watch Peter take your boyfriendâs cock into his mouth all by himself.
âAttaboy,â Logan says, placing a hand on the back of Peterâs head when he goes deeper, spit falling from his lips.
âJuuust like that,â you add, your praise spurring Peter on. Loganâs other hand goes to your cheek, absent-mindedly brushing over it with his finger as he holds your face.
Peter gets more confident when Loganâs breath stutters. He moans on Loganâs cock as he takes him as deep as he can, the wet sound from his mouth obscene.Â
Loganâs hips jerk as his cock twitches in Peterâs mouth, and he cums down his throat in warm, sticky ropes of his load.
âGood boy,â Logan softly ruffles Peterâs hair when heâs done, and you lean in to kiss Peter, some of your boyfriendâs cum still fresh on his lip.
âDoesnât my boyfriend taste good?â you ask against his lips, hardly breaking the kiss. You can hear the slick of spit and cum on Loganâs cock already as he jerks off again, to the sight of you two making out with his cum between you.
âHe does,â Peter mumbles against the skin of your jaw, kissing down your neck.
âHe tastes better than me?â you tease.
âNoâ no, you taste better than anything in the world.â And Peter means it.
-
Youâre not done until hours later; you fuck until itâs the middle of the night. Earlier, Peter was ready to forgo his birthday movie night just so you can go to sleep on time, but he got something much better, even if it means you stayed up late for him. He canât say he feels too bad.
Peter is tucked in, you and Logan at either side as you send each other loving glances over Peterâs head. Youâre stroking Peterâs hair, basically cuddling him with how close you are.
âHope you liked your present,â you tell him, pressing one last kiss against his lips as you smile at his sleepy expression.
âBest birthday ever,â Peter mumbles, before he drifts off into a peaceful sleep.
-
P.S. reblog + let me know your thoughts and Logan and Peter will appear in your bed tonight đŠˇđŤŁ
#logan howlett x reader#peter parker x reader#Logan howlett smut#Logan howlett x reader x Peter Parker#peter Parker smut#Logan howlett x you#peter Parker x you#spider-man x reader#spider-man smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader x spider-man#wolverine x you#spider-man x you#peter Parker x reader x Logan howlett#selfcarecap
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i'm just like ugh i gotta figure out where to get this x ray and when i should do it this week and i'm just worried about walking in without an appointment even though it says you can and like them not having the machine or a person to do it or whatever since i went into one place on the list already and they did not have x-rays
and then i've got this birthday thing which idk where it's going to be so idk if i should take a lyft or not and then i'll have to either exercise in the morning or choose that as my skip day
and then i'll just be worrying about my test results and not knowing if the doctor is going to call before my follow up or WHAT is going to happen and i just. cannot relax.
i just want to be done with doctors i really fucking do like just tell me what's wrong and let me be DONE like this follow up is gonna be the eighth fucking time i've seen a doctor in some form since all this weird shit started and if i don't get any answers i'm gonna be mad. i mean i'd rather not get bad news of course but i figure things are already mildly crappy in my body so like it's not like i can't get used to that i just can't stand the idea of it getting worse
#personal#like it'll be nice to see my friends but idk i'm just like too stressed#i thought it would be okay to say yes bc i hadn't gotten horrible news yet#but i just have that ugh i don't feel like being social rn especially bc i know people are gonna be asking what's going on#and i really don't like talking about it bc if i DID have answers it might just be like ah well it's not that bad#but since i don't have answers i keep thinking of how horrible it might become and everything it might take away#including my ability to say yes to plans every time they come around which already is a rarity#like how much less could i end up seeing my friends when this is the only person who ever actually asks to see me#i feel so bratty but like. why does no one else include me in anything except for their birthdays if that#this one friendship that i kind of assume is over doesn't really bother me but at least i sometimes got invited to hers with everyone else#though there were plenty of hangouts that i knew happened seemingly often without me#but yeah at least when she was in the mix i had a chance even if they weren't hangouts i particularly enjoyed#like it was better than nothing#and this year has already been so hard that feeling like i'm even more isolated than i was the couple years before#just makes it all that much more impossible#i just want to be thought of and like i know i do plenty of thinking about loved ones without reaching out#so it stands to reason it works the other way around#but the thing is i very rarely initiate plans so i know i'm not like inviting one person and never another or whatever#whereas SOMEONE has to be making the plans and i'm virtually never invited#i used to have the luxury of being invited often enough that i didn't have to go to a random hangout if i wasn't up for it#and now it's not like that and i have to say yes when i'm too mentally exhausted. who knows what the physical limitations are gonna be now
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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeuQ8EA6/
I am obsessed with this edit!
Can you do a spencer reid x bau reader where she is very closed off emotionaly so he doesnt know if she likes him back or not until she does the little "tuck her hair behind her ears thing"?
đđĄđ đđ¨đŽđđĽđ đđŽđđ¤ - đŹđŠđđ§đđđŤ đŤđđ˘đ đą đđđŽ!đŤđđđđđŤ
đŹđ˛đ§đ¨đŠđŹđ˘đŹ you were someone spencer found very hard to read. that is until the day of your birthday, where you accidentally do the infamous double tuck
đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ PURE FLUFF, my beloved awkward spence <3
đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ 2.5k
đđŽđđĄđ¨đŤđŹ đ§đ¨đđ this is so sickeningly sweet. my heart is literally about to implode, theyâre so awkward and wholesome. this request was so fucking cute i just had to do something with it
đŹđŠđđ§đđđŤ đŤđđ˘đ đŚđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ | đŚđđ˘đ§ đŚđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ
"Garcia!" You smiled sweetly, immediately infecting those around with a mirror of your very smile. You held one of your favorite candles between your hands, tracing the glass beneath your fingertipsâ You had just been meaning to buy a new one.
Garcia beamed proudly, knowing she had nailed your birthday gift, a task many deemed imposible. Itâs not that you were hard to please, not at all. You had always been closed off with those around you, opting to talk very little about yourself and allowing people to talk a lot about themselves, which is what people nowadays loved doing. As a profiler, you knew exactly how to prevent prying eyes from seeing anything past the depths of yours.
However, to Spencer particularly, it was absolutely infuriating to not be able to read you properly. Any hypothesis he made up in his head based on any of your gazes, your gestures, your small quirks and anticsâ only turned out being proven wrong since you'd completely redirect him in an opposite direction to what he believed you were thinking.
He was constantly thrown off by you, and Spencer wasn't the type of person who particularly enjoyed being wrong or not being able to perfectly calculate and analyze a situation. His job was profiling after all.
There was a single reason and he tried to remain completely oblivious. But he knew that the only reason as to why he wanted so desperately to know about you was because he liked youâ he really liked you.
As in 'became a blabbering mess around you' liked you, as in 'couldn't formulate a coherent sentence around you' liked youâ It was so hard for him to act normal around you. Anytime you appeared out of no where, asking how his day had been, and offering another one of those teeth-rottening sweet smiles, he'd go blank and feel utterly stupid. Every aspect of being a genius vanished into thin air when it came to you.
Morgan teased him persistently, being able to see his fuming crush from a mile away. Spencer sat down quietly, watching you hug Garcia happily as you sat the candle down onto your desk. When you pulled away, you tucked a single strand of hair behind one ear, smiling brightly.
"So, has she done it yet?" Morgan inquired, appearing right behind Spencer as he watched you silently from his own desk. Spencer flinched, turning immediately in his chair, looking over at his fellow co-worker and friend like a deer caught in headlights. He used his hand to push Morgan's face away from his with a shove. Garcia, who accompanied Morgan, stood by the side, bemused entirely by the situation .
Morgan lowered his tone, lacing it with implicit teases that flew past his familiar smirk. He leaned against Spencer's desk. "So how's the stalking going Lover boy?"
Garcia laughed to herself unwittingly while she mixed her coffee around in her mug with a spoon. Spencer glowered at the two of them.
"I'm not stalking," He defended matter of factly. "And stop with the 'lover boy'"
"But that's what you'd call someone who's head over heels for our dear littleâ"Â Morgan began saying in a sing-song voice as he poked at Spencer's cheek, desperate to get a reaction out of his constant teasing. With a firm slap, Spencer shooed him away, blushing profusely.
"I'm not.!" He fussed. Garcia let out a soft snort, to which Spencer was not amused by. In the slightest.
"Really?" Garcia asked, almost in amusement. The only one truthfully believing what Spencer was saying was himself.
"I'm just looking t-toâ" Spencer pulled his lips into a flat line, unable to come up with a plausible excuse quick enough. "âto figure out what she may want for her birthday."
Garcia and Morgan exchanged a brief glance before simultaneously regarding Spencer. He sputtered, still glaring at them.
"What?!"
"Oh nothing.." Garcia took a sip of her coffee with a smirk. "Has she done it yet?"
"I asked the same thing!" Derek turned to Garcia. They laughed together as if one big secret was being tossed around in front of everyone and no one else knew. Spencer furrowed his brows, looking at them oodly.
"Done what?" Spencer couldn't help but ask, curiosity tickling him.
"The double tuck," Garcia stated, looking back over at Reid. The furrow in Spencer's brow deepened as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Theâwhat?"
Derek then proceeded to give a very specific demonstration of whatever it was Garcia was talking about. Derek batted his lashes, putting on the most innocent face he could muster and giggled nervously as he pretended to tuck hair behind both ears. Spencer cringed at his antics while Garcia let out a laugh.
"When she really likes a guy and gets nervous she tucks her hair behind both ears at the same time,"
Spencer looked back over at you as you handed a fellow co-worker a few files, talking aimlessly. You threw your head back laughing at something the woman who chatted with you had said and Spencer couldn't stop a small smile from creeping itâs way onto his face.
"She hasn't," He said, still looking at you intently. Garcia and Derek shared a look and with one more sip of coffee, she added.
"She will.â
"Watch out lover boy, she'll catch you staringâ" Morgan whispered in Spencer's ear, which only caused him to reach back in protest and slap Derek away. He turned to glare at him while Morgan laughed.
You thanked Garcia one final time and turned your attention over at Morgan who was now laughing in a way that you felt intrigued enough to want to be involved in whatever it was the two of them were laughing at. You tilted your head slightly to the side, furrowing your brows with a smile.
"What's so funny over there boys?" Penelope asked, lips curving into a sly smirk while she crossed her arms across her body. Spencer froze, looking over at you immediately.
"Uhâ we, uhmâ" He stammered, cheeks beginning to buzz with heat. Before he could dig his grave any deeper, JJ and Emily walked into the room singing happy birthday with a tray of cupcakes in their hands.
You turned to them, eyes blowing wide. A nervous laugh erupted out of you, causing you to lower your face and hide it in your hands, feeling profusely embarrassed. Getting this kind of public attention wasnât something you preferred, and it made you wonder if there was anyone that truthfully enjoyed getting their chants of happy birthdayâs in public.
Spencerâs could practically feel and hear the way his heart bursted in his chest as he watched you crinkle your face in embarrassment. It was evident on every single fraction of his faceâ the awe that pooled behind his irises and the way his cheeks were tainted a specific shade of pink.
"Someone's fallin'â" Derek started.
"Shut up."
The day had gone by swiftly. It had been a slow and uneventful day, so no crimes were up for reviewing. You had instead, been drowned in paperwork that had your back aching by the end of the day.
However, being surrounded by all of your friends and receiving so much appreciation and love on your special day had been a plus, urging you further to push throughout the rest of the day.
Hotch had given you an okay to leave early, and knowing that your parents were waiting for you to take you out for your birthday dinner, you hurriedly packed up your things into your purse.
On your way out, you shot a goodbye to everyone with a bright smile plastered across your features. As you walked past Spencer's desk, you offered him a brief glance accompanied with a small wave. âBye Spence,"
He waved back woefully, blinking rapidly and pressing his lips into a tight smile that inched sideways. Not wanting to give himself the pleasure of gawking at you further, he turned to his files, swirling his pen in his hand nervously.
Someone cleared their throat, catching Spencer's attention. He turned seeing JJ, Emily and Morgan peering over at him from their respective desks.
"Really?" Emily pinched the skin between her eyebrows with frustration.
"What?" Suddenly he was feeling mortified that all his co-workers had been watching his entire inner-turmoil.
"Did you even give her the gift you spent weeks putting together?" JJ tested, resting her chin in her hand. Spencer looked away sheepishly, scribbling something onto his paper and not entirely sure how JJ knew about it.
"Iâ I forgot.." He said, voice small while he tripped over his own words.
"Reid, just get out there," Derek urged. He was beginning to get restless with watching the two of you ghost around eachother like two idiots.
Spencer stopped scribbling and glanced over at you briefly as you walked out the main door that lead towards the elevators. He looked back over to the others who all shot him a look of encouragement. He supposed that it wouldn't be a bad idea just toâ you know, give you your present.
The impulse in him was screaming and yelling at him to just get up and chase after you. But another part of him was forcing him to stay glued to his desk, letting you leave yet again.
It really didn't help him not being sure where you stood when it came to your friendship. At times, heâd get the smallest intuition that maybe, just even possibly, you were on the same page as him, but the insecurity that lingered within him was loud enough to prevent him from ever doing anything about it.
He had to get over himselfâ it was just a present. Everyone had given you one except him, and he didn't want you thinking he didn't care. He knew he didn't give it to you not because he didn't care but because he cared too much and he felt really scared that maybe by giving you his gift you may notâ
He clapped his eyes shut, realizing he really had to stop overthinking and just, in the âwiseâ words of Morgan, 'shoot his shot'.
Spencer, peered down at his pocket, and back over at the door.
You pushed the glass door open, looking down at your phone and tugging your scarf up to cover your nose from the piercing cold.
"Y/n!" You turned, surprised to see Spencer running through the lobby and out the main door, catching up to you.
You watching him, wide-eyed and taken aback as he jogged up to you, opening his mouth to say something but having to lean over to catch his breath. He didnât know if it had been the brief run or the unforeseen anxiety that caused him to run out of breatheâ whichever it was, he needed to work on it.
You let out a soft laugh, finding his behavior amusing. âYou okay?â
You followed him with your gaze while he finally straightened himself. No words were said as his chest heaved. He looked into your eyes, immediately regretting it as his rapid pulse hammered against his head. You too began to feel your heart begin to pick up its pace until you found yourself reaching up and tucking your hair behind both ears, looking at the floor sheepishly
And there it was.
Spencer's mind stopped running the second he registered your movements and Garcia's words flashed across his mind so quickly he almost didnât remember.
"When she really likes a guy and gets nervous she tucks her hair behind both ears at the same time,"
"I, uhmâ" He started, trying to prevent a grin from rising onto his face at his newfound information.
You watched him curiously, starting to wonder if his cheeks were turning pink due to how cold it was or if he was possibly blushing.
Spencer reached into his pocket and took out a small chained bracelet. It was small and daintyâ nothing too flashy or flamboyant. He held his slightly trembling hand out to you, revealing the small, nearly minuscule butterfly charm that sat on center of it. You stared at it in awe, reaching over and grasping it.
As you stared at it, you recalled the first conversation you had with Spencer. It was nearly spring and you were on one of your first cases with the team. As you inspected one of the crime scenes, a butterfly had suddenly latched onto your wrist.
You looked at the small insect, briefly startled, but once realizing the absence of danger, you quickly allowed yourself to gaze upon the bug with curiosity and awe.
Spencer watched you intently. He knew close to nothing about you, but something inside him twisted with your tender gaze towards something so small and fragile. He couldnât stop himself from opening his mouth and beginning one of his endless rants on that specific species of butterfly and how butterflies were a symbolism of good luck and, oh so on.
He couldn't stop talking and that was the first impression you had gotten from Spencer. He was profusely embarrassed afterwards, realizing he had probably overstepped a boundary you had yet to set given sinceâ he really didn't know you all that much.
However, you smiled at him and asked him to tell you more. Since that day, butterflies had become your favorite.
And since that day, Spencer felt his heart double in size any time you were near him.
"Spence," You looked back up at him. "This is beautiful."
He smiled awkwardly, and shuffled on his heels, feeling his pulse quicken. How fast can oneâs pulse beat? "I didn't want you thinking I had forgotten about a gift I just, didn't really know when to give it to you and I thoughâ"
You watched his every movement intently, noticing the small pool of fog leave his mouth with each breath due to the cold, not even trying to avoid lingering your gaze on his lips.
"No! Noâ" You waved your hands in front of him frantically, panicking at the thought of him feeling in any way obligated to get you stuff, even if it was your birthday. It felt too indulgent from himâ especially from him.
âIt's okay..! You didn't have to get me anything, much less something so special,"
"Iâ" Spencer looked to the side. With the simple confirmation of your little hair tuck, he decided to push his luck, relying completely on Garciaâs analysis. "I wanted to."
You felt heat all over your face. You grabbed the small chain and easily slipped it onto your wrist, looking at it in awe. You once again, unconsciously tucked your hair behind both of your ears. Spencer noticed this but this time, he allowed himself to smile widely like kid on christmas morning.
You smiled down at it. Spencer watched you, eyes pooling with affection. You looked back up at him, realizing the way his gazed lingered on you. There was some form of affection that was quite evident, but you couldnât allow yourself to think anything of it. Nothing was said, and that made you incredibly nervous.
He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but not being able to. The mix of the piercing cold and the invasive anxiety wasnât doing him any good as his shoulders shook lightly. You took notice, and it made sense since he had chased you down in nothing but a blue button up shirt. Without a single word, you reached for your scarf and unwrapped it from your neck. Youâd do okay with the cold. You had enough layersâ and you were blushing enough to heat your whole body up.
You pushed yourself onto the tip of your toes, wrapping it around Spencer's neck in order to give him some sort of warmth. Spencer immediately grew dizzy, failing to ignore how the scarf smelled just like you always didâ a burnt vanilla mixed with the sweetest notes of sugared petals, warm and inviting. He also failed to ignore how close you suddenly were.
Something in you flipped and with a slap of encouragement, you once again pushed yourself onto your toes and planted a tender kiss onto his cheek, staining it ever so slightly with the soft red chapstick you were wearing.
"Blue looks good on you," You said, hands still playing with the blue scarf that sat comfortably around his neck. You wish you couldâve taken a picture of his face, starstruck and dizzy.
You caught the small red stain on his cheek. You smiled, reaching up and smudging your thumb across the stain. "So does red."
Spencer had nearly felt his knees buck. Your sudden bold moves were causing him to spin. It had always been so hard trying to decipher your intentions and antics, but with you standing so close to him, for the first time, he found everything so clear and evident. Like the last layer of secrecy had been ripped off in the matter of seconds and he was entranced.
That could be part of the reason as to why Spencer couldnât stop himself from leaning down and placing a firm kiss onto your lips.
You froze momentarily, completely caught off guard, especially since you had always thought what you felt for Spencer was one-sided. But soon enough, you eased and smiled into the kiss. It was sweet and soft, innocent and pure, and it was perfect.
He pulled away harshly, suddenly realizing what he had done. "Iâmâ"
âNo!ââ You were surprised at the lack of stability in your voice. âT-that was fine,â
Oh if one could kick themselves. Fine?!
He cleared his throat, words caught deep into his throat. You blushed profusely, wanting to slap yourself back into reality as you grew more and more fidgety and nervous.
"Iâ" You both said simultaneously. This was embarrassing.
You shot him a nervous smile as you both proceeded to stumble upon each-others words, neither being able to form a coherent sentance.
"Areâ Are you doing anything tomorrow..?" Spencer asked, anxiety clawing at him relentlessly.
"No," You felt anticipation in your chest as you shuffled your grip on your purses strap.
"Would you want to?ââ He asked, voice small, as if testing the waters and terrified to how you would reply. âYou know, do something..?â
A giddy smile grew onto your face, as your hands reached up, and for a third time, tucked hair behind both ears.
"Iâd love to," You said. Spencer felt like he was on cloud nine.
"Great! Uhâ" He glanced down, pursing his lips. "Cool..â
You stifled a laugh, as he peered over at you with a smile. "I'll text you,"
"Cool.." You pointed over to your car, realizing that it was getting late. "I'm going to, uhâ"
A grin that stretched from ear to ear was plastered across Spencer face as you began walking away, also smiling to yourself giddily. Once your back was turned to him, you squeezed your eyes shut, nearly jumping with joy.
"Happy birthday..!" He shot out. You turned, offering him a wave. Spencer watched until you climbed into your car and left the driveway, with the widest, most stupidly huge smile plastered all over his face.
Of course, when he reappeared at his desk, wrapped in your scarf, cheek stained slightly, and the most dazed look splattered all across his features, Morgan didn't skip the opportunity to tease the hell out of himâ again.
#fanfic#fic rec#fiction#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer#spencer x reader#spencer x you#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#spencer x y/n#spencer x oc#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fandom#spencer reid smut#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x fem!readr#spencer hastings#fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fluff
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Want You- C.S
summary: headcannons of bff!chris who is in love with bff!y/n but they're both to afraid to say anything so they just flirt and do couple things without being official.
cw: cursing, suggestive material, fluff
an: lowercase intended | mix of both sfw and nsfw
masterlist
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bff!chris who cuddles you no matter what
"time for the best part of my day." chris says before hopping into his bed, wasting no time in cuddling his best friend y/n. "which is?" y/n says jokingly, even though he always says that anytime she stays over. "being able to cuddle you all night, you know i hate sleeping alone." he says, pressing a small kiss to her hoodie covered shoulder before hiding his face into her neck. "i know, i know." she says while running her hand in his hair.
"let her breathe, chris. my god." nick says as he comes down the stairs and sees his brother laying on top of y/n. "shut up, you're just jealous." he says lifting his head slightly before putting his face back in her neck. y/n only giggles, continuing to lightly scratch his scalp.
"wait, scroll back up. i wanna watch it again." he giggles and lifts his arm from around her waist to wipe his tears from how hard he was laughing. y/n scrolls back up and they rewatch the video and busy out laughing at the stupid video. chris buries his face in her tummy and continues laughing.
bff!chris who gets jealous whenever a guy looks at her
"what?" she says as she feels chris wrap his arm around her waist. they were currently at a club for their friends birthday. "that guy is looking at you." he nods his head towards the guy. y/n looks at the guy and decides to mess with chris a bit. "ouu, he's kinda cute" she teases "y/n, be serious." he says in her ear. "i'm kidding, i have my eyes on someone else."
"see that guy over there?" chris says as y/n looks through a rack of clothing. "where?" she looks around. "that one wearing the ugly brown tie dye shirt." y/n spots who's he's talking about. "what about him?" she continues to look through the clothes. "he keeps staring at you." chris glares at him. "stop glaring."
bff!chris and bff!y/n who accidentally kiss when saying goodbye
it started off with a kiss on the cheek. when y/n would go back home, chris would kiss her cheek as a form of saying goodbye, soon enough y/n picked up on the habit and also started doing it. one day, they accidentally kissed. "bye, chris." y/n hugs him. "bye, y/n i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he goes to kiss her cheek and y/n does the same not realizing he's doing the same. suddenly their lips touch and they freeze. "oh my god- i'm sorry!" y/n's face is red. "it's fine, really." he giggles and blushes.
"bye, y/n." chris grabs her chin and places a small kiss on her lips. "oh- bye chris." she connects their lips again and pulls away once they are both gasping for air. "sorry, my lips slipped, see you saturday?" chris opens the door for her. "of course." she nods before walking out to head to her car. once her car is out of sight he closes the door smiling. "that was a very friendly goodbye between you two." nick teases. "shut up."
bff!chris who always gets hard whenever she sits in his lap
"y/n, s- stop," chris grips her hips to make her stop moving in his lap. y/n and chris were currently on their way to top golf with thier friends and she had to sit on his lap due to the lack of seating in the car. "chris, the car is moving, i can't help-" y/n is interrupted when she feels something poking her ass. "chris are you-" he puts his hand over her mouth. "shut up."
"hey, give it back! it's my turn to pick a movie!" y/n tries to reach for the remote that chris took from her hands as they were laying down on his bed. "no, you're probably going to choose one of those rom coms. we've already watching one." he lifts up his arm where y/n can't reach. "come on, chris. i know deep down you love 'em." she teases, getting rid of the blanket covering her and crawls to where chris is. "do not." he scrolls through the movies. y/n goes on his lap and tries to snatch it from him. chris freezes and he starts to feel a tightness form. "thank you." y/n grabs the remote and goes back to her spot. "i'll be back." chris coughs and heads to his bathroom.
bff!chris and bff!y/n who are always touchy with eachother
"excuse me, chris." y/n passes in front of chris and teasingly rubs her hand over her sweatpant covered dick. chris turns flustered and looks around to make sure his brothers or thier friends didn't see. he goes over to y/n who's three feet away from him and whispers in her ear. "don't start something you can't finish."
"chris!" y/n scolds him quietly, pushing his arm that was currently wrapped around her shoulders specifically his hand that was comfortably resting on her boob. "oops!" he looked at her with a knowing smirk on his face.
bff!chris who makes a playlist specifically for her
"go to my spotify and see what i made for you." chris giggles handing his phone to y/n. "im scared." she teases. "just go." chris watches as she unlocks his phone, the wallpaper being the two of them and she scrolls to the next page of apps, clicking on the app. the app opens and its opened to his many playlists. however, she spots a new one. for y/n đŤ
chris was currently moping in his bed. it was day one of fourteen that y/n will be on vacation with her family for her parents wedding anniversary. he sighed, unlocking his phone seeing his favorite picture of the two of them, he opens his spotify app and plays his for y/nđŤ playlist and opening his messages app. i miss you :( come back already. he sent it, a song and a half later, his phone pinged. it hasn't even been a whole day.... but i miss you too. i promise i'll stay over a while weekend at your house like we mentioned <3
bff!chris who always shows up to her house unannounced
y/n was sitting in her living room, rewatching her reoccurring obsession, twilight. she was two movies in when she heard the doorbell ring. she wasn't expecting anyone today. maybe it was one of her parents or siblings who forgot their house key. scoffing, she pauses the movie and gets up to head to the door. she opens the door and is met with chris. "what are you doing here?" she says confusingly. "y/n! i also missed you very much, and i glad you're happy to see me!" chris says. "sorry," she giggles, moving aside to let him enter the house. "i just wasn't expecting you here."
"there's a surprise in your room." y/n's younger brother says as soon as she enters the house. "what are you talking about?" she goes up the stairs, shopping bags in hand. opening her door, she sees someone comfortably laying in her bed. "oh good, you're back." chris rolls over and sits up, his hair a mess. "how long have you been here?" she laughs.
"y/n! there's someone here for you." her mom yells from downstairs. "coming!" she exits her room and walks down the stairs spotting chris right away, a fast food bag in one hand and a cup holder in the other. "chris? i didn't know you were coming." she signals her head so they can go upstairs. "thanks for the shake and fries, chris!" her mom says as they head up. "no problem!" he says back. "i heard from you mom that you weren't feeling well about your exam score, so i brought shakes and fries. thought we could watch some movies."
bff!chris who always get shit from his brothers because he still hasn't asked you out
"so, when are you gonna ask y/n out? still scared she's gonna reject you even though she gives you heart eyes every time she looks at you?" nick tells his brother, he knows how stubborn both his friend and brother are at expressing their feelings vocally. "soon." is all he says. "soon, soon, soon. you always say that." he mocks him. "i bet she's counting down the days until you ask her out officially."
"did you tell her?" is the first thing chris hears from his brother matt as soon as he walks through the door. "tell who what?" he puts his keys on the table. "don't act stupid, kid. did you ask y/n out officially?" matt explains. "not yet, soon though." chris says before heading down to his room. "soon, soon, soon." he hears matt say.
bff!chris who officially confesses his love for you
"i have to tell you something, and i think it's about time." chris says next to y/n. they were currently sitting on a huge rock watching the sun go down and seeing its reflection in the water. "what is it?" she picks up her head from his shoulder. "i really like you, like really really like you. i think it's safe to say that i love you. so much. and we've practically been acting like a couple for so long now, i think i want to make it official if you're okay with it?" he looks into her eyes, searching for an answer the bright sunset making her eyes pop. "really?" he nods. "really." he says, and she smiles. "so, can i be your boyfriend?" chris tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. "only if i can be your girlfriend." she presses their lips together in a sweet kiss.
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x y/n#chris x reader#chris smut#chris sturniolo headcanon#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo headcanon#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt x y/n#matt x reader#matthew sturniolo fluff#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fluff
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WEBS OF HURT â S.JY
synopsis: Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.
pairings: spiderman!jake x afab!reader
genre: best friends to lovers, unrequited love, miscommunications, spiderman au, angst, romance, fluff
warning(s): profanities, mentions of alcohol, party, violence, injury
wc: 10k
a/n: tried something new! a little birthday gift from me <3 please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
masterlist | Š jaylver all rights reserved.
Falling in love with your guy best friend was probably the worst thing ever to experience when it came to girlhood.
High school should be fun, right? Being a teenager should be fun, right? Well, that wasn't exactly the case when you found yourself feeling more than just a mere liking towards Jake Sim, the guy best friend you mentioned and was entirely, love sickeningly, in love with.Â
Jake Sim was the first guy you actually built a solid friendship with. It first started when he sat beside you in calculus, then you realised you had more classes with him and a friendship eventually developed when you started acknowledging each other. One class together soon turned into years spent with one another. You knew his family and he knew yours. Nothing could ever break the bond between you and him.
You just couldn't help but notice a slight change in him after the death of his uncle, Ben. At first, you figured it might've been grief, trying your best to offer your utmost support. But as months flew by, the oddness persisted. He would disappear in between classes, sometimes standing you up at places you were at together and returning a little scathed, making it up to you by promising for a redo hang out. All of that was weird. Let's not get started on the fact he caught your stuff falling way too many times, even when his head was faced away, his hand would reach out first. In his words, he called it his 'spidey sense', whatever that meant.
However, you never doubted him. He was still the best friend you had, even if he had some tweaks to him. You never once questioned him or brought up your suspicions, but this time, you couldn't help yourself from bombarding him with questions when he broke the news to you.
"I think I have a crush," Jake announced the moment he was in your presence, sounding a little out of breath considering he made a run to the cafeteria. The tray of food was untouched, quite unlike him since he always dug into his food first.
"You 'think'?" You hummed, ignoring the mixed feelings you had blaring loudly.Â
"Okay, I know I have a crush," he has yet to start eating, just staring expectantly at you, eyebrows furrowed at the nonchalant and dismissiveness in your tone.Â
"You're being for real?" You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, placing your fork down.Â
"I am! I think it's kinda crazy," his eyes twinkled, something quite rare but only you knew, like a comet in the sky.Â
"Who is it?"
"Gwen,"
"Gwen? Gwen Stacy?" You swallowed back a frown that was itching to make its way to your lips, masking it with your best shot of shock instead of disappointment. Of course it was the golden girl, what a cliche plot.
He nodded, a small smile rested on his face as he started digging into his food. "We ⌠talked? Talked about some science things, about Oscorp, about the things she's working on. Oh yeah, she said there's this party on Saturday and wondered if I wanted to go, I said I wanted to bring a friend and she's cool with it,"
"I assume I'm that friend, then?" You poked at your food, suddenly losing your appetite as the conversation progressed.
"No, it's Carlosâof course it's you, dumbass," he flicked at your forehead, earning a firm scowl from you. "You're my best friend, my only ever, I'd be insane to think otherwise,"
You chewed at your lips, not because you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go, but it was mainly due to the word 'best friend' that got your attention. There goes your hope down the drain. First, being told your best friend who you have a crush on already has his eyes on someone else, then, getting friendzoned by that same exact guy, all in one shot. It's brutal out here.
"So what do you say?" Jake's voice broke the momentary silence, noticing your dazed expression. You snapped out of it almost immediately.
"I'll go,"
"Really?"
"Do you want me to say no instead �" You raised an eyebrow, watching him scrambling at your words.
"Nâno! I'm just shocked and very glad you agreed to come," he managed a laugh, which turned into a smile.Â
"Am I going to get ditched that night because you want to get your dick wet?"
Jake scrunched his face up in a look of disgust. "Can you not? I don't need you to say that. And no, I'm not going to ditch you,"
"I'm holding you to it."
Jake shot you a wink, earning a figuratively loud eye roll from you. His laughter filled your ears, and though you managed a smile, you found yourself feeling the opposite internally. You knew you shouldn't feel this way, it's not like you were even in a relationship with him in the first place. But God, why did it hurt so bad?
Who told you friends to lovers was cool when it was unrequited and one sided all along.
"You know, you look good either way,"
Jake Sim was sitting on the edge of your bed watching you put on makeup and getting ready. It was a few hours before the party and Jake had turned up looking nervous, wearing that lucky graphic tee of his that you recognised quickly. Your teasing definitely didn't make him smile, and you soon realised that the crush he had was actually serious.
You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow despite feeling the giddiness from the effects of his nonchalant words. He has to stop that. "Are you trying to butter me up to get me to move quicker?"
"Whaaat? No way. You genuinely look good whether or not you have makeup on, seriously," he was genuine, you could tell, but you knew him better than anything. It was quite a fatal flaw.
"Give me ten minutes to finish the other eye then we can leave."
At that, Jake sighed in relief and fell back onto your bed, kicking his legs patiently. He couldn't stop talking about the party and the people who'd be there, but honestly, you could tell he was just trying to not bring up Gwen at any given moment. Knowing that, you wished the mascara wand would just poke into your eye, maybe it'd hurt less compared to how your heart felt.
"Does my shirt look lameâ"
"Dude, shut up," just before you and Jake entered the house, he was asking for another reassurance. First, it was his hair, then his shoes, and every other piece of clothing, leaving his shirt for last. It took everything in you to not punch him along the way there. "I swear, no one will care. If anything, isn't that your lucky shirt?"
"It is my lucky shirt. But whether or not that lucky shirt looks good, that's the case," he glanced down at his graphic shirt, a picture of a rock band from the 2000s staring back at him.
"Trust me, if it's ugly, I would've asked you to change, now shut up and get your ass in there before I leave you here," you huffed and continued walking, hearing him mutter something before catching up with you.Â
Upon entering the house, you figured it was as underwhelming as you expected. The smell of sweat and flavoured smoke filled the air, high school students lingered around as the music blasted. You should've probably stayed home.
"So, you got your pick up lines ready?" You thrusted a cup of fruit punch into his hands, tilting your head in question.Â
Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Google has failed me on that one," he looked around the room, shoulders tense.
"Calm down, big guy. You're acting like you're being hunted down. She's not that scary," you patted his shoulders as he took a swig out of his cup.
"Not scary? Says the one without a crush,"
How ironic.
You brushed it off, finding yourself taking a big gulp as well. He was oblivious and you were just stupid. Stupidly in love with your best friend who has his eyes set on another girl. Perfect.
"I think I see her," you followed his line of sight, spotting a blonde in the midst of the crowd almost immediately. She made her way through, parting the mass with a certain grace to her aura.Â
Jake looked back at you, a mix of conflict written in his features. You read him well, too well. You offered a smile. "Go, go talk to her. Just text me when you're leaving, okay? You said you're not going to ditch me,"
"I won't," he laughed, but there was a certainty in his tone.Â
"Then go, what are you waiting for? I'm expecting a whole loads of information by the end of the night," you gave him a slight push, but you could see the small reluctance he had. "Go!" Off he went into the crowds and gravitated towards her.Â
You couldn't bear to witness it all, watching him leaning down as she laughed into his ear. The feeling of bitter jealously coursed through your veins, it was evil, so evil, but you couldn't help it. At the end, you had to remind yourself, he wasn't yours in the first place. He wasn't yours to lose.
Turning your back to them, you sat alone in a stranger's kitchen and fought off the temptation of getting drunk. Instead, you indulged in the leftover pizzas left on the counter, letting a random girl join you and overshare secrets. Wallowing in self pity was probably not what you had in store for the night.
Almost as fast as you had arrived, it was already past midnight in a blink of an eye. You realised your curfew was around the corner and it was time to signal Jake to leave too. Glancing at your phone, you were surprised to see zero messages from your best friend. Weird.
You stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, seeing a bunch of people passed out at the oddest spots, only a few still awake. One of them was surprisingly Gwen, the goody two shoes you had in mind was actually staying up past your curfew. You heaved a distressed yet exasperated sigh, walking towards her.Â
"Hey, Gwen," you hoped she remembered you, considering you were in the same Chemistry class as her.
"Oh, hey. Y/N, right?" She flashed you a sweet smile, and it was painful to know how likeable and nice she was. You couldn't even bring yourself to hate her.Â
"Right. Sorry for interrupting, but have you seen Jake around? The last time I saw him was with you," you unknowingly chewed on your bottom lip anxiously, taking the frown on her lips as a bad sign.
"He left," that was the least expected thing you anticipated as a response.
"He ⌠left?" You repeated incredulously, almost as if she hadn't made it clear enough for you.
"Yeah, he suddenly said he needed to leave ⌠in the middle of our conversation. An emergency or something. Kinda weird but kinda cute," she laughed, but you were holding back a disdainful scowl, reserved for both Jake and her, but most specifically Jake Sim. "Why? Were you with him?"
You bit back an immediate reply. As much as you wanted to say 'yes', you didn't want to blow off his chance either. "No, just ⌠checking. He said he was coming tonight,"
"Oh, I see,"Â
"Yeah," you nodded rather stiffly and awkwardly. "I'll get going now, thanks,"
"See ya, Y/N. Until our next class," she gave you a salute, a melodious laugh escaping her lips.
You couldn't resist a smile either, saluting her back. There was a charm to her that affected people, it was understandable that Jake was charmed, but you hated to know that, and you did not want to understand it. For now, he was dead to you, just like how he has left you to yourself in the middle of a party at midnight. Was he Cinderella? Glad to know you weren't the only one who he pulled the disappearing act on.Â
Clutching onto your jacket tight, you cursed every cuss words there were under your breath, all of which were dedicated to Jake. He had the audacity to leave without even leaving you a text, and that got you walking home in the dangerous night of New York City. Thanks a fucking lot. To say you were seething was an understatement.
You hated the streets of New York especially at night. To prove your hatred further, you just had to be at threat of an armed robbery there and then.Â
"Hey! You there!" A dark figure approached from a distance, pointing at you. Oh God. "Got some money on you?" This couldn't be happening.Â
"Nâno," you said quietly, backing up quickly. His footsteps thundered loudly against the pavement, seemingly getting closer.Â
"Don't lie, I see that purse on you,"
"I'm a broke high school student, leave me alone!" Was it sad to say that you were yelling the brutal truth to him?
"I don't care. Give me your purseâ" his threat almost had you running in the opposite direction, but his sentence was never finished. Instead, a sharp unfamiliar noise shot through the silence, and a second figure in the distance appeared. That wasn't his partner, right?
Panic coursed through you, and yelling out was most likely the worst idea you had in ages. "Hello?"Â
Silence.Â
"Hello? Can I leave now?"Â
"Yeah, you can," the figure walked under the lamp post, revealing himself.Â
Spiderman?Â
Clad in red and a mask over his head, he stepped towards you ever so casually, whereas you stood there absolutely stunned to even move. It wasn't an everyday occurance where you could personally meet the hero in flesh. The media might've painted him as some criminal, but to you and many other citizens, you knew that wasn't the truth.
"Spiderman," you greeted, anxiety lowered knowing you weren't getting robbed now. "Thanks forâthat," you waved in the direction of where the man originally was.
"No worries," you noticed his voice seemed familiar, but before you could think more about it, he spoke with a sudden deeper octave. "It'sâuhânot safe out here. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, for starters, my friend left me at a party that we were supposed to leave together without telling me, and now I'm walking home alone, until I almost got robbed," it was clear that anger and bitterness laced your voice, a deep frown etched on your face as you told Spiderman your concerns.
"Sorry," his voice became lighter, somehow sincere, which made you tilt your head in question. "IâI mean, sorry that he did that to you," he cleared his throat, straightening his spine and returning back to that deep voice.Â
"I don't know what's up with him. He could've left me a text,"Â
He muttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned his focus back on you. "I'm sure he's very sorry, and maybe he's got a reason too. Try hearing him out,"
"I will. I always do. I'm just hurt, it's complicated,"Â
"What? What do you mean complicated?"
You shrugged, hugging your purse close to your chest. "It's nothing. I don't think Spiderman will be interested in my matters with my best friend. I'll leave you to your hero stuff and head home now. Thanks for saving me and the 20 dollars in my wallet,"
"WellâIâwait," before you could fully turn around and leave, his hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. "Let me walk you home. It's not safe,"
"Wouldn't it be weird if I turned up at my apartment lobby with Spiderman?" You crossed your arm, making quite a fair point.Â
"You're right. What about I give you a swing?"
"What?"
Swinging around New York City was definitely an unforgettable but scary experience. You clung onto Spiderman, screaming like a madwoman as he had his arm wrapped around your waist. The touch was as familiar as his voice, hard to put a finger on but almost feeling like you've known him for years.Â
You were about to point out your apartment but he had already beat you to it, not even needing you to tell you which floor or window it was, landing on the fire escape right in front of your bedroom window. That just further proved your familiarity towards him.Â
He pulled your window open, signalling you to head in, but you were stuck staring at him, both in shock from the swing and the way he knew your place.Â
"How did youâ"
"Bye! Goodnight!"
You watched as he avoided your question and shot a web out to swing to some other building, leaving you stunned. How were you going to recover from this?
10/10 experience. Spiderman might just be your casual crush to get away from the thoughts of Jake.Â
'BREAKING NEWS: bank robbery in downtown last night caused a chaotic and frantic disturbance, luckily, Spiderman was there to save the day and catch the robbers before anything major happened. Is he really as bad as they make him to be?'
The news of Spiderman saving a bank from a robbery right before your personal near robbery experience had you amused. The videos of him beating up the robbers and using his webs to tie them up were going viral all over the internet, even people in school were talking about it.
You were standing at your locker, digging for some textbooks before class started when Jake Sim himself appeared beside you. His presence was announced before he even spoke, but you didn't bother to spare him a glance.
"Y/N, I'm so so sorry about last night," he was heaving in breaths, as if he had ran across the school to find you, maybe he did.
"Oh, were you?" You clicked your tongue, suddenly finding the random piece of paper in your locker fascinating.Â
"I am. Seriously, Y/N. I know I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and letting you knowâ"
"Jake, this isn't the first time you bailed on me," you cut him off, slamming your locker door close and turning to face him. The bruise beside his right eye caught your attention, and suddenly, your anger seemed to have sizzled away. "What the hell happened to your eye?"
It has become a common practice by now apparently. Jake disappearing and turning up with some kind of injury. Like always, he just brushed you off. "It's nothing, don't worry. It's not about me, it's about you. I fucked up this time and I know it, I'm sorry. An emergency with Aunt May came up aâand I had to go home early, I was too caught up in the moment to let you know. I'm sorry, really,"
You considered his apology for a moment. He was sincere, you knew that, but there was a certain dishonesty to his explanation. However, you didn't want to press on further either. "I understand. You probably always have a reason, it's just that I hate it when you disappear on me without telling me. I almost got robbed last night!"
It took him almost a few seconds to register, then another few more to compute a reaction. "What? Are you okay?"
"I'm standing here, aren't I? Spiderman saved my ass,"Â
"Spiderman?"
"Yeah, Spiderman. That guy who swings around New York. He saved me from some guy that was about rob me, because someone over here decided to leave early,"
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just glad you're alright,"Â
"Well, thank fuck I am," you crossed your arms, staring pointedly at Jake.Â
He dug something out of his backpack, a paper bag of some sort materialized in his hand. "I got you some of your favourite cookies and donuts. As a form of apology,"
You took the bag from him, glancing between him and it. "You can't just buy your way into an apology,"
"You accepted it, you took the bag,"Â
You rolled your eyes, unable to bite back. "Whatever," you reached in for a cookie and started walking away from your locker, hearing Jake scurrying to join your side.
"So, we're cool?"
You took a brief glance at him, taking a bite out of your cookie. "We are,"
Jake wasn't fully convinced, however. He knew you and your patterns, and he definitely knew which tricks to pull to make it better. "How about I treat you to some Chinese food tonight?"
That piqued your interest, an eyebrow raised at his question. "The one downtown?"
"That one,"
"You sure know how to get on my good side, Sim," you nudged his side, falling into one of his tricks once again. "Too well,"
"I know my ways to get to your heart, don't underestimate me," he said in a lighthearted tone, but God, you wished he would actually find his way into your heart. "Anyway, how wasâuhâSpiderman, last night? Excusing your near robbery experience," he winced at the last part, though in reality, the accident hadn't shaken you as much as he had thought.
"He was nice! A little awkward but I kinda get it. He swung me back to my place, which was weird because he knew which window and level it was," you pursed your lips in deep thought, failed to realise the widened eyes from Jake and the panic that filled them.
"Mâmaybe, it was a wild guess," he said shakily.
"Wild guess? Don't bullshit me, Sim. A smart guy like you would know it's hard to do so," you waved him off, continuing to venture into your theories.
"Maybe he has some kind of sixth sense," he laughed rather stiffly, earning a suspicious narrowed stare from you.Â
"Okay, big head, quit acting so weird. Let's just get calculus over with and then stop by that ice cream place after school, what do you say?"Â
Jake's shoulders visibly relaxed, a sense of relief overtook his features. What was that about? "Sure. My treat,"
"God, Sim, you have to stop treating me or else I'll fall in love with you," you joked, even as it came out lighthearted, it was filled with a painful truth that you kept as a secret.
"Then fall in love with me."
You froze, almost unblinking. Something so intimate yet controversial had left his lips like it was nothing. It was probably nothing to him, maybe a mere joke even, considering how he let out a small laugh and smiled at your reaction. You tried to pretend it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing, not to you.Â
For a second, you wished you weren't already in love with Jake.
Trying to be happy for your best friend shouldn't be hard, but why were you struggling with it so much?
First, you were literally in love with him. Yes, you've come to the conclusion that you 'L' word him, the big 'L'. Seeing him list out the things Gwen likes and hates reminded you of yourself knowing him equally that much too, which only pained you more than it reassured you. Second, he has been hanging out with her more. Not that you were completely friendless and have no one to hang with, but Jake was Jake, he was your best friend, and losing your best friend was the worst thing to happen.Â
You didn't lose him, no, but it felt like you had. He barely made time for you, being caught up with Gwen, dates and school work, how could he not manage to squeeze you in there? You've always made time for him no matter what the occasion was, so knowing he didn't do the same for you just had you dying internally.Â
It was a quiet evening in New York. The sun had just set and you were walking home from grabbing an early dinner alone. This time around, you were smarter than the previous round. Armed with pepper spray and a pocket knife, you prayed on a shooting star that an unfortunate incident would never ever happen once more.Â
You were practically in your own world to even realise or hear footsteps approaching you from behind. By the time you did, your fight or flight mode was activated, almost throwing out a punch, just to freeze upon figuring out who it actually was. Spiderman.
"Walking home alone?" He kept up with your pace as you recovered from a momentary fright.
"Stalking me?" You wondered how he even spotted you in the first place. In the big city of New York, he's coincidentally strolling down the same street as you? As if. "Scared me, you know? Thought it was another round of getting robbed,"
"I'd be there to fight them off if that happens," he said with utmost confidence that it had you laughing a little, shaking your head in disbelief. Why did he remind you of Jake? It's a sign you should stop thinking so much about him.
"Really? I kinda doubt it. Unless you're keeping an eye on me or something, stalker," you teased him, egging him on further.Â
"I'm not stalking you," his tone gave away the withering confidence of his. You smiled, feeling his lingering gaze on your face. Maybe it was just your mind that's overthinking, but his mannerisms reminded you too much of your best friend. It was in the way he walked, talked and how he normally did this thing where he walked with you and cast glances at you from time to time. Every little detail that you wished you couldn't list out was a part of the city's hero.Â
He cleared his throat, straightening his back, trying to rebuild that confidence he originally carried. "So ⌠how are things between you and your friend?"
"The one that stood me up at the party?"
He choked a little, but regardless, he nodded his head. "Yâyeah,"
You couldn't hold in a sigh from escaping your lips. Just thinking about Jake had you huffing in frustration. Spiderman picked up on it, shifting slightly beside you. "I guess not ⌠good? Haven't seen him much and he hasn't been bothering to hang out with me anymore. I mean, I get he's making moves but why can't he just manage a little time for me? Maybe I'm too selfish butâ" he's not mine anyway. You bite your tongue, holding back what you really wanted to say.Â
The hero beside you was silent for a bit, as if walking on eggshells and picking the best words to say. "I think he'd come around," he said slowly, "he'd say a couple of sorrys, and you should tell him what's on your mind. Let him know. He'll understand,"Â
You chewed on your bottom lips, considering the possibilities, but totally also not expecting to get advice from the Spiderman like it was some counselling session. "I know he'll listen. He always does. But I don't want anything to change between us,"
"Nothing will change," he said with a kind of certainty that even you didn't doubt. How did he know? Who was he to judge? You didn't say anything, but just nodded. You knew Jake wasn't the type to argue nor take your words lightly, but you shudder at the thought of a confrontation, not that it was your first with him, but it felt much more emotional this time.
"I hope so. I miss himâoh, my place is around the corner, I can manage myself," you stopped before a turn around the corner, Spiderman following suit.Â
Standing before him only increased your curiosity about his identity. Who was he? He was hiding under a mask that shielded his face, but something about him seemed less foreign than expected.Â
"Oâoh, then I guess I should get away too. Swing around the city and see whose ass to beat," he laughed awkwardly, a hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, just like something Jake would do too. You shook that thought away. "Goodnight ⌠stranger,"
"It's Y/N," you didn't hesitate to tell him your name, he saved your life, a little information about yourself wouldn't hurt despite him being a total stranger still. "Goodnight, spider boy."
You turned around the corner, leaving the hero standing there, bewildered and helpless. It was hard to ignore the pit in your stomach that carved deeper and deeper. He reminded you too much of your best friend, and strangely, that was probably the reason why you felt gradually attached to him, a stranger that resembled the ghost of a guy you liked but couldn't have.Â
The space of your apartment was dark and soulless once you stepped into it. Your parents worked late as always, meaning you were alone most of the time, and this was one of them. Maybe it was the atmosphere and the countless wishful thinking, but a sense of despair knocked on the door of your heart.Â
By the end of the night, you laid awake in bed thinking about what Spiderman had said. Nothing will change. That was exactly what you wished for too, that your dynamic with Jake was never to change, but how was that to happen when he's got a girl around? Eventually, you're not just going to lose the guy you loved, but your best friend as a whole.
Your train wreck of thoughts were interrupted the moment you heard a knock on your window. That knock turned into a tune that you knew too well. Sitting up straight in bed, you spotted the figure standing by your window out on the fire escape. Jake.Â
At this point, you weren't even going to figure out how he got up this high on the fire escape. It was one too many times of him avoiding your question and you ended up dropping the matter too. Yet, curiosity itched your mind.Â
Unamused at the fact that he turned up at possibly the wrong timing, you dragged your legs over to the window, meeting his bashful gaze. He offered a crooked grin, but your narrowed eyes only shot it back into a frown.
"Explain to me why you're here? It's midnight, Aunt May would be worried about you," your window was opened now, but you stood in the way before he could climb through, an interrogative look of yours stared at him accusingly.
"I told her I'd be over at yours," he answered cheekily. "Just like the old times, eh?"
Judging from your unbudging stance and eyes practically shooting lazers, Jake knew he had struck a nerve that have been left untreated for far too long. He sighed a defeated breath, squeezing through forcefully and dropping his backpack onto the ground.Â
"I know," he didn't need to say much, yet he conveyed more than needed. "I've been a shitty best friend,"
It was your turn to sigh. You shook your head, averted your gaze to the ground and stepped aside, giving him more space. "You know a 'sorry' alone won't cut it this time,"
He followed your every movement, joining you to sit on the edge of your bed, a small space in between separated you and him. "I know. But I really am sorry, Y/N. I mean it,"
"I just want you to be honest with me, Jake. I know you're busy, I know you're trying to get the girl of your dreams or whatever, good for you, but it feels like you've forgotten about me or something,"
"I didn't forget about you. How could I ever?"
"Well, then stop acting like it! A text would suffice," you stood up, back facing him just so you could hide your face from him and the tears welling up in your eyes.Â
"Y/N," he grabbed a hold of your wrist, cold fingers wrapped around your skin, his touch ever so gentle. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up ⌠many times, and a single 'sorry' wouldn't make up all the hurt I caused you, bâbut there's a reason why,"
"What is it then?" You whirled around to face him, the dark of the room casted a shadow over his face, bringing out the fatigue and injury on his delicate features. "What the fuck, Jake? Are you hurt again?"
"It's nothing,"
"You said it's nothing every time you turned up hurt, and I never ask many questions, but Jake, it feels like you're hiding something from me," your hand reached up for his face, hovering over the bruises and mild cuts on his lips and skin. "I don't know you anymore,"
Jake moved his face away a little, grabbing that hand of yours which hovered over his face, lacing his fingers into yours, the rough surface of skin contrasting your soft touch. "IâI wish I could tell you what it is right now, Y/N, I really do, but it's not the right time. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe me, I don't want to hurt you,"
There was a moment of silence where you stood before him, hands intertwined with his, your hurtful gaze scanning his every feature that you knew too well. Jake never lied to you, you knew that, but why couldn't you fully trust him this time? There was a sense of truth and lie hidden behind his words, but you knew one thing, he was genuine. Yet, it wasn't enough.Â
"Let me make it up to you. There's this carnival in the city tomorrow night, you and I, hang out, what do you say?" He tried offering a smile, which eventually turned uncertain. "We can spend the entire day together. Just you and me,"
"No bailing on me this time?"
"Promise,"
"You do?"
He held up your interlocked hands, then intertwined your's and his pinky fingers together, something you and him always did when it came to serious promises despite the childishness to the whole pinky promises thing. "Promise," he repeated.Â
"I believe you, Jake. I always do, and I just don't want you to get yourself in danger, whatever it is that you're doing. Whenever you turn up bruised and beaten, IâI just feel helpless, and you push me away every time,"
"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking your interlocked hands and placing them on his chest, near to where his heart resided. "I promise to tell you the truth soon. I just need to be ready,"
"When you're ready," you gave his hand an affirming squeeze, a reassuring smile creeping up onto your lips. "Do you want to stay over?"
"I didn't turn up with a packed bag for nothing," he laughed, the air lightening up much more compared to earlier. "I'll sleep on the ground like always,"
Once you were done manoeuvring and setting up the sleeping bag for Jake, you were finally in bed for the second time that night, except now, you had Jake sleeping on the ground beside your bed. It wasn't a rare occasion having him sleep over, just maybe this time it was a tad bit more awkward given the situation you had earlier.Â
"Jake," you spoke into the darkness, your eyes trained on that one spot on your ceiling.Â
He hummed back in response.Â
"Nothing has changed between us, right?"
A beat of silence, the whirring of your A/C was what remained. Then, he spoke. "No. Nothing's ever going to change. Nothing will change,"Â
It sounded familiar, the way he said it and the enunciation he had in every word. You shook it off, given the late night and a mushy brain, you didn't give it a second thought.Â
"I'm glad. Goodnight, Jake."
"Goodnight."
Despite the reassurance from Jake, you descended into sleep with a pit in your gut. You could barely sleep with him next to you, thinking you could find a cure to every trouble that existed between you and him to fix it all. How could he say there'd be no changes when there's a bigger crack forming on your heart?
The next morning was like any other whenever Jake stayed over. An empty kitchen that allowed you to make some simple breakfast and after, you bid Jake goodbye for the moment before meeting him later on that day.Â
Upon stepping into your room, you spotted a black lump sitting under the window. It was Jake's backpack. He was already long gone from your apartment by then.Â
You advanced towards his backpack, held it up to move it somewhere else, but it only caused the contents inside to spill out. Knowing how clumsy Jake always was, you figured his backpack had been unzipped the entire time.
You glanced at the pile of mess littered on your floor, a clump of red catching your eyes amongst the rest. Curiosity got the best of you despite knowing you shouldn't pry, but the moment your fingers made contact with it, the question marks in your head increased by tenfold.
Spandex material. You pinched it at first, feeling the material against your skin, then you finally got the guts to hold it up entirely, revealing something far beyond expectations.Â
Spiderman suit?
Was it a fake one? Jake could've always bought it from Amazon. You held it closer for inspection, noticing how it was worn out, slight tears on the bottoms. It couldn't be a fake, something in you knew. The dried blood stains on some spots gave it away.Â
Everything made sense to you now. Jake being secretive, hiding the truth from you every time you asked, turning up hurt and disappearing at random times just for the news to report Spiderman's appearance after. All of them were finally connected in your head, and revelations about his suspiciousness were known by you.
It hit you. Jake was spiderman. Your best friend was that vigilante swinging around the city saving people and fighting crimes. He was the one who walked and swung you home. He always knew.
You let out a breath of disbelief, knees feeling weak and head spinning. How were you to shoulder the truth after this? Pretend like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong and weird. It was practically impossible to patch up the existing crack that continued to worsen.Â
Shoving Jake's belongings back into the bag, you shouldered it and made your way to his place. Your mind was in a haze, the thought of him being Spiderman was hard to wrap around. Sometimes ignorance was genuinely bliss, you wished this was one of those times.Â
You didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Jake wasn't home when you turned up at his door, meeting a confused looking Aunt May instead. Apparently, Jake went out in search of his backpack that was currently in your hands, so you had no choice but to call him and wait for him to be back.Â
How could you not have spotted it sooner? Now that you're in his bedroom for possibly the millionth time, everything seems clearer. The map of the city stuck on his wall which had random scribbles and locations circled in red marker ink stood out to you, the box of medicine and ointments sat on his bedside table that you frequently ignored. All the signs were presented before your eyes without your knowledge.
"Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting," Jake closed his bedroom door after almost half an hour of waiting for his appearance. His hair was dishevelled, clearly panicked and alarmed.Â
"No, it's okay, we're supposed to meet up anyway," you sat up from lying on his bed, nodding at the backpack sitting on his desk. "Got your baby back,"
"Oh my God," he crossed the room with big steps and had zero hesitation when it came to unzipping it to check his belongings. "Did I leave it at your place?"
"You did,"Â
"Thought I left it out there somewhere," he murmured under his breath, then zipped the bag up. You knew why he was so secretive, and it made even more sense why he always brought it around.Â
Jake most likely felt your wandering eyes on him judging from the way he spun around and shielded his bag from view, trying to divert your attention away. "Want to watch a movie?"
How could you possibly say no? That sly prick.
You didn't indulge in his suspicious behaviour further now that you were aware of his secret, though you pretended not to. He did say he would reveal it to you soon, but that 'soon' was quite unknown. At this point, you didn't know who was going to be the first one to reveal it. Either you or him.
You spent half of the day binging on movies, ate an early dinner and then walked to the carnival together. Along the way there, you couldn't stop yourself from taking quick glances at Jake. The street lights illuminated his features under the darkening sky, the loud chatter of the crowd drowned out and it was only him in your world. Even as he asked you questions, you blindly nodded to most of them.Â
How could you not fall for him? He bought you drinks without question, won you prizes at those booths, held your hand as you walked through the crowds. It was as if Jake Sim himself was blind enough to not know what he was doing to you.Â
"Enjoying the night?" Jake threw his arm around your shoulder ever so casually that it had you holding your breath for a minute.
"You won me a big bear, of course I am," you held onto the stuffed toy tightly, grinning at the memory of Jake winning during his first try.Â
"What's next? Wanna stop by that art and craft booth then we go on the ferris wheel?" Jake definitely did know his way into your heart.
"Sounds good,"Â
You thought the night would eventually end with peace and quiet, but before it could even end, it had been ruined beyond belief.Â
The big screen suddenly flashed to a news reporter, the background looking chaotic and people were fleeing. It was live news, the whole thing was happening as you breathed. You and Jake stood rooted, staring at the big screen just like many others did, listening in on the broadcast.
'Just in, a monstrous creature was seen terrorizing and climbing along the Oscorp building. It was spotted not long ago, but now it has disappeared into the building, its whereabouts unknown. Workers of Oscorp have fled the building, but not all of them, some were said to be present in the building until now.'
You glanced at Jake, a sinking feeling in your gut. It was a sour thought knowing he's about to get himself in danger yet again, but having him bailing once more cut deeper than a falling knife. As a human, you wanted him to save lives and the city. However, you were also his best friend, and you hated to be selfish, but you just wanted him to be there without having to leave every single moment.
The conflict in your eyes matched Jake's, who was evidently struggling with himself. You tried to mask it, yet hurt and sadness was hard to ignore or hide.Â
"Oscorp ⌠Gwen," the faint hush of a murmur was audible under his breath, causing you to cock your head at him.
"What?"Â
"IâI, Y/N, I have an emergency," he removed his arm around you, the hold on his backpack strap tightened.Â
"Jake," to scream at him? Let him leave? All of the above? You struggled with your emotions as you tried to understand and empathise, you always did, but couldn't you just have him this one time?
"I'm sorry âŚ" his voice was weak, he knew how much pain and hurt he caused you, and retreating away from your disappointed face wasn't going to solve anything, just the problem downtown, but not the cracks that were forming right now.
"I know, Jake," you shouted when he was a distance away from you. He turned around, eyes widened and pupils blown, a mix of confusion and surprise painted his features. "I know about you,"
He was breathless, he didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He left without a trace, and once again, you were left alone to fend for yourself. You wanted to understand, you do, but it was hard.Â
You glanced at the big screen for one last time, uttering a silent curse under your breath, and decided to head to where the scene was. Crazy? Stupid? You were everything described. That was probably why you and Jake were best friends.Â
Taking the cab was one of the stupidest decisions you made, and that excluded the part where you're literally bringing yourself to danger. Thanks to whatever that was terrorising the Oscorp building, the traffic was heavier than usual, so you had no choice but to run on foot. It was the most running you ever did all year.
You wondered if it was a good idea to even be there. Answer: no. The police cars were everywhere, all of which were stationed with police that were armed with rifles. A helicopter circled the building, several broadcasting stations and their reporters were present too. It was a mess.Â
"What's happening here?" You were practically out of breath, panting, as you asked a random bystander there.Â
"Some freakish lizard creature. I think Spiderman swung into the building to save the remaining victims. They were all rescued but Spiderman's still fighting in there,"
"You saw him? Spiderman?"
"I did! Red suit, white webs, he was so heroic when he crashed through the glass panels,"Â
"That's the one," you said unnervingly, disliking the uncertainty of it all. Jake was putting himself in danger and you could do nothing about it. How long did this go on for? You were left in the dark for far too long.
Soon, which almost felt like forever, you saw a speck of red escaping from the gap in the building with somebody in hand. You held your breath out of anxiety, heart thumping, listening in on all the noises and reports coming from everywhere around you.
"There he is! Spiderman!" A reporter appeared next to you, absolutely transfixed with the superhero slinging through the dark sky and eventually landing in the distance. "He has the last hostage in hand! A girl!"Â
A girl?
You pushed past the crowd, trying to get a closer look at Spiderman and the entire scene before you. There he was, speaking to the police, but there was somebody else too. Gwen Stacy.Â
An overwhelming feeling crashed down on you like a heavy weight of boulders falling from the sky. Confusion, hurt, heartbreak, altogether they penetrated you harder than you could manage to breathe. One step, two step, you took many steps back before turning away and hailing for a cab home.Â
He wasn't yours, and he wasn't yours to lose either.
Returning home to an empty apartment was nothing new, except it did hit differently this time. Your heart was empty, mind in a haze, it was as if your narrator had drawn swirls over your head. You wished things had turned out in another way. You and Jake, how you found out about his secret, him hiding his secret. If only all of them had another ending than what you had in the present.
You sat slumped over in bed, the desk lamp was the only thing that provided light for the darkness in your room. The shadow looming over your window went unnoticed by you. That was until a series of knocks sounded and you jumped out of bed in alert, finding it strange how there was nothing once your eyes trained on your window.
Well, there goes your future.Â
You stepped a little closer. Just then, the window was jerked open by some unseen force, a red cladded face peeking his head into frame. Spiderman, or more accurately, Jake, was standing on your fire escape again.Â
He dropped his backpack onto your bedroom floor, letting himself in wordlessly. You stared at him, not knowing whether to speak first or let him be the one to do it. After all, he had left you hanging, it's the least he could do.
Jake pulled off the mask from his head, revealing a rather beat up face and messy, dishevelled hair that was coated with sweat. "You knew?"
His voice was tired, but the confusion and hurt punctuated through his words. He inched close to you, but you took a step back, unable to meet his gaze.
"Well, it wasn't a long time," you muttered. "Just today, actually ⌠coincidentally,"
"How?"Â
"Your backpack. I swear I didn't look through it, it was unzipped and when I picked it up, everything spilled out. Your suit revealed it all," you chewed at your bottom lip, Jake's eyes boring into yours, the prickling feeling of anxiety crawled all over your skin. "I didn't want to find out this way either,"
"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wanted to, trust me, you're one of the closest people I have in my life. But I just didn't know when or how to break it to you. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe," he was equally guilty for hiding it for a long time, but you understood the reason behind it. Being a hero comes with a great responsibility, that was what movies taught you anyway.Â
"Jake, I know, and it's okay, but I just wish to be selfish for a little. I want you to be here with me, to be there for me aâand be my best friend for a minute," you felt yourself losing the will to speak as seconds passed by. "I feel like I'm losing you,"
"You're not. I'm here," he pressed his palm against his heart, stepping closer until he was barely a few inches away. "Always,"
"I don't want to lose you, Jake," your voice wavered, a clear sheen of tears glazed your eyes. "I'm in love with you," your words came out in a whisper, a hushed confession that spilled with no warning, coming from the deepest, darkest pits of your heart. Even then, you couldn't believe you had actually said it, stilling in place and blinking in shock.Â
Jake's breath hitched, his movements frozen. You wondered about the possible scenarios you were about to face, ones that you thought of whenever you had the urge to spill your love confession. All of them certainly didn't prepare you for what was happening next.
"I'm sorry," shock turned into instant panic. Your hands shot out to create a small distance between you and him. "Ignore what I just said. Sorry if I made you uncomfortableâ"
Jake didn't say much, and in a swift motion, he grabbed a hold of your hand, pulled you into him. One hand holding your wrist, the other cupping your face to tilt your head and his lips met yours.
You could barely register it. The weight of his mouth against yours created a mass of fireworks in both your head and stomach. The shock evaporated from your body and relief took its spot. You melted against his touch, leaning your body closer to his.Â
Jake kissed you like no man could have ever done. He left a part of himself, imprinted his every unspoken word into a deep and passionate kiss. You wondered if this was what it felt like being loved by him.
Forever was what you wished for when it came to kissing him. Yet, it eventually came to an end just like every one of your favourite movies. This time, however, you weren't disappointed, you were glad.Â
"Don't apologise. Y/N, I'm in love with you too," his hand on your cheek remained, the dim light managed to bring out the sparks in his pupils. It was your turn to be confused. Didn't he have a crush? "I know what you're thinking. Gwenâ" it's freaky how he always knew, "âI was kinda dumb, to be honest. I was always in love with you but it took me years and a girl to only realise that,
"She was nothing like you. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of you. I wasn't trying to like her, I was trying to find a piece of you in her. Being the coward that I am, I ran away from facing the thought of liking you, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I kept on entertaining the thoughts of liking Gwen instead, but none of it was real. You're the one who's constantly taking up space in my mind, in my heart,"
The fireworks from earlier exploded ten folds in your mind. You couldn't believe you were experiencing every passing moment listening to Jake's confession. He felt the same way as you did for him. He has had the same pining for you like the same way you had for him. Years, years of unspoken romantic love for one another that both were too scared to touch upon.Â
Jake took your shell shocked silence as an opportunity to continue on. "I'm sorry for standing you up all the time. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not realising it sooner. But I love you, Y/N. You're my best friend, more than anything, you're the only person I want to have occupying my mind all the Goddamn time,"
"Jake," your hand travelled to place itself onto his which rested on your face. "I love you too," you laced your hand into his, the intimacy that would've been seen platonic days ago was now something more than that. You and him both felt the shift, it was apparent.Â
"I don't care that you're Spiderman," you continued, not once breaking eye contact with him, letting him stare into yours as you did the same. "You're Jake to me, you forever will be, and that's all that matters,"
Jake's delicate features melted into a smile. His pretty smile that had you swooning was on display like a trophy, influencing you enough to crack a small grin too. He looped an arm around your waist, dipping you slightly and pressing a haste kiss on your lips, then your cheeks.Â
"I guess I can now say I've swung into your heart," he teasingly sent a wink flying at you, to which you responded with an eye roll. Some things never changed, but his ego definitely was inflated now.
"Shut up before I kick you out," you threw a light punch at his shoulder, which he dodged almost unsuccessfully. "Come on, let's patch you up then we can go to bed," you patted his shoulder, walking towards your bathroom.Â
"Demanding," he whistled under his breath, picking up his discarded mask from the floor.Â
"Don't make me add a black eye to your face,"
"But you like my pretty face,"
"You want to test it out?"
"Okay, okay. I'm coming."
The night eventually ended with Jake being patched up and sleeping on your bed instead of his usual spot on the ground. These little changes was what you anticipated most, but other than that, it was safe to say nothing would be changing when it came to your and Jake's relationship. If anything, it was about to be stronger.Â
So what if he was Spiderman? At least you knew Spiderman was yours, and he had indeed swung into your heart.
Dating your best friend who had a secret identity was fun.Â
You got to discuss maths in school and listen to his adventures after. Not to mention, he would swing you around New York City at times once the clock striked past midnight. No other girl was going to get a date like this. Ten out of ten, you may add.Â
With the fun came the terror. You do fear for Jake's safety almost every time he's out, and it has become a routine to patch him up till the point where you had to restock your emergency kit. This time was like no other when Jake appeared through the window soundlessly in his Spiderman suit.
"Hey," he was breathless, tumbling over the window still.Â
You jumped, not even realising his appearance. "What the hell? Jake? Oh my God," you got up right away to support his tired body, but he ended up sliding down onto the ground anyway.
"Are you injured anywhere? Bleeding?" You checked for his body, trying to spot any obvious cuts, making yourself comfortable in the space between his legs.Â
"No," his hand reached for the end of his mask, pulling it up halfway only to reveal his lips. "Can I get a kiss?"
"Are you serious?"
"I am dead serious,"Â
You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss on his lips that eventually widened into a satisfied smile. You gently slapped his face, eliciting a sweet laugh from him and with a tug of his hand, he fully removed the mask from his head, revealing his pretty face that you missed.
"I got something for you," his hand reached out to brush your hair away from your face, his touch ever so gentle when it came to you. He dug something out of his bag, pulling out a fresh bouquet of flowers. "Ta-da,"Â
"Flowers?" You accepted the bouquet from him, noticing all of your favourite flowers in it. He remembered, even the littlest details about you, he remembered them all.
"I got them on the way here," you raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his hands up in defence. "Hey, I didn't steal them. I actually paid for them. They gave me a discount too because I was in my suit,"
You resisted a smile. "You're unbelievable,"
"Unbelievably cute? Romantic? Handsome?" He leaned in closer to you, noses close enough to brush against one another.Â
"Go away," you squeezed his cheek, and he just let you do so without any fight. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him briefly. "I like them,"
"What about me?"
"I like you too,"
 "But I like you more,"Â
You threw your head back laughing, a simple sound which was enough to have Jake's heart racing. "We're not making this into a competition, stupid. Now, go shower or else you're not sleeping on my bed,"
"Butâ"
"Nope. Shower or get exiled,"
"Fine," he dragged his body up sluggishly, looking almost like a puppy being forced to his dismay: the shower. "You're not joining me?"
"Don't make me chase you out." you threw a pillow at him that he skillfully dodged. Damn his spider senses. His laughter echoed around your bedroom until he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of it gave comfort to you and your beating heart.
Things might've changed a little in different aspects, but you knew nothing could change you or Jake altogether. He was your best friend and lover no matter what he was. Spiderman or loverboy, he was everything to you. All you knew was that he was going to be by your side no matter what, protecting your heart alongside the city.Â
( Š jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
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About the onde bed trope⌠since there arenât a lot of those, I was wondering if you could write one with reader and wolfstar? Maybe a smut or just something fluff
hi babes! so I got this request right after someone had asked for recommendations for one-bed tropes, which I had only ever read one and shared it. SO, I wanted to remind everyone of the cute wolfstar x reader one bed fic I read by @longlivedelusion, and know that while I'm happy to contribute to this super fun trope with our lovely wolfstar, that it was more than likely inspired by their awesome work linked above!
poly!wolfstar x Potter!reader who have to share a bed [2.8k words]
CW: mutual pining, feelings of 3rd wheeling, fluff, potter family
The hotel was bustling with what appeared to be just as many staff as there were patrons waiting in the lobby.
Bags were being whisked away, key cards were being handed to waiting hands, and nearly every second person was wearing a Manchester United jersey.Â
James was positively giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, Lily and Regulus had their faces shoved into Lilyâs phone as they (re)read the itinerary they had planned for Jamesâ birthday trip, Remus arched his shoulders as he let his duffle fall to the ground and Sirius murmured promises of a back massage when they got to their room, and you people watched.Â
Your parents had given James (and all of his friends) tickets to the Manchester home game and a few nights stay at a posh hotel close to the stadium.
Lily and Regulus, being Jamesâ dutiful partners, planned other things for the lot of you to do while you were here, too.
Right now, however, you wanted nothing more than to get to your room, take a shower to wash the train off of your being, and go to sleep.
Mercifully the check in counter cleared and your group stepped up to the waiting concierge.Â
âHi there! Weâre checking in for Potter; group of six.â Lily offered primly as she handed the man a copy of the booking number.Â
âRight! Okay, so Potter, two rooms, each with a king, for three nights.â The man read from the screen, looking over in concern when six varied protests sounded from the group.
âNo, Iâm quite sure itâs meant to be three rooms.â Lily corrected quickly, offering you a worried glance before she nearly leaned over the welcome desk to peer at the computer monitor as if she was ready to take over for the concierge.Â
The man hummed as he continued tapping keys and clicking his mouse and scrolling and please for the love of God donât let there be a mix up.
It was going to be you that was the problem; not Lily and Regulus who were counting on a romantic trip to celebrate their boyfriend, and not Remus and Sirius with their long-established relationship and promises of Remusâ massage.
âThe booking is only showing two rooms, uhm, let me just confirm with my manager that Iâm not missing anything.â He bumbled awkwardly before standing and all but fleeing from the group of you.Â
âItâs probably just a mistake.â James offered quickly as he jostled your shoulder. âWith this many people here, the system is probably just lagging.â
But it wasnât just a mistake and the system wasnât just lagging and there was very much only two rooms booked under Potter.
âIs there any way we can book a third room? It can go on the same card.â You asked meekly, nervously glancing between the manager and the computer.Â
âUnfortunately, the hotel is entirely booked.â She offered you with a pained smile, and just from your survey of the lobby while youâd been waiting in line, you knew that had to be true.Â
âDo you have any cots we could have sent up to the rooms?â Lily asked hopefully, earning another grimace from the manager which was all the response you needed.
You could feel the group looking at you awkwardly and you immediately regretted even coming; you should have just left James to celebrate his birthday with his partners and best friends and stayed out of it, but instead, you were the troublesome younger sibling who your parents forced the group to bring along. Maybe you could catch a train back home? Maybe you could catch a train a town or two over and just have your own mini vacation and leave them to their celebrations.
âDonât worry, bug!â James said as he rubbed your arm roughly before reaching over you to grab the keys to the two rooms from the concierge who was clearly now only waiting for the lot of you to bugger off so he could help the people behind you. âWeâll make this work.â
âYou shouldnât have to make it work, Jamie.â You moaned as your group moved to stand against a wall across the lobby as you all tried to problem solve this.Â
âBoth rooms have just one bed each, right? Do either of them have a sofa?â Regulus asked first.
âThe pictures online didnât look like it; the rooms had the bed, one grandfather chair, and a desk with a rolling desk chair.â Lily responded.Â
âOkay, well, both rooms have king sized beds, we can share.â Sirius offered simply, causing you to nearly whimper.
âIâm not going to impose on anyoneâs beds.â You murmured as you stared resolutely at your feet.
âYou can share with me! Itâll be like the old days when weâd have a âsleepoverâ in the living room!â James offered excitedly, and you had to hand it to him for his sense of adventure and enthusiasm, but you couldnât help but notice the quick glance Lily and Regulus shared.
âItâs your birthday weekend, Jamie, you should get to spend it with your partners.â
âOkayyyy, uhm, what about the girls room together and boys room together?â He offered instead, causing Lily to furrow her brows at him.
âBut then two of us will be sharing while four of you will be sharing.â She countered, followed up quickly by Regulus who stated he would not, under any circumstances, be sharing a bed with his brother.Â
âNo, youâre right, erm, well⌠Me, Pads, and Moony could share-â
âJames, I love you, but youâre terrible at this.â Sirius interrupted before turning his gaze to you. âYou should just stay with me and Moons; leave these three to theirâŚcanoodling.â He said around a theatrical gag.Â
âYou guys were probably looking forward to a romantic stay too.â You muttered somewhat petulantly, and that was what nearly brought you to the brink of tears.
Not that you were the figurative sixth wheel, not that you were left without a room and imposing on two relationships, and not even that you felt particularly out of place.
No, the thing that nearly brought you to tears was the fact that you were acting so petulant on your brother's birthday which he had been so incredibly excited for.
You would not ruin this for him, for any of them.Â
âNo, you know what, sorry, youâre right, Sirius. Iâll pile the extra bedding they keep in the closets and make myself a little nest on the floor, itâll be like camping!â You decided, pasting on the widest smile you could muster.Â
You swore you saw Siriusâ face fall slightly but powered on when James was back to clapping his hands together excitedly. âBrilliant! This will be so fun, and so worth it, bug. Donât you worry.â
And you were worried, but he didnât need to know that.Â
Ę âââÂˇŕ¨ ę¤ ŕ§Âˇâââ É
âYouâre not actually going to sleep on the floor, right doll?â Sirius asked after the hotel door shut with a click behind him as he glanced around the room.Â
It was perhaps a bit tight, but if you set up your little nest underneath the window, neither boy should trip over you in the middle of the night should they need to use the loo.
âOh itâll be fine.â You offered in what you hoped was convincing nonchalance.Â
âI really think the bed is big enough, dove. And Sirius usually latches onto me in the night so you shouldnât even notice weâre there.â Remus offered gently, watching as you flung the closet doors open to procure the extra bedding.Â
âSânot my fault, moons.â Sirius countered as he trailed right on your heels to where you were trying to make your ânestâ. âYou keep the thermostat so sodding low, Iâd simply freeze to death if you didnât share your body heat.â
He ignored your indignant âoi!â as he immediately plucked your pillows and blankets off the floor from where youâd placed them and moved them to the end of the bed. âAnd, I think you do that on purpose; you like cuddling.â He continued, gently swatting at your hands as you tried to reclaim your makeshift bed.Â
âOh, I love cuddling.â Remus agreed readily, clearly ignoring the fact that you and Sirius were currently in a petty squabble over linens. âWhat I donât like is being jolted awake to your ice cold feet being shoved under my thighs at three o'clock in the morning- dove.â He gave you a pointed look with one arched eyebrow as you huffed petulantly and crossed your arms.Â
âYou are not sleeping on the floor, doll. Your parents paid for the sodding rooms.â Sirius claimed resolutely.Â
âThey were meant to pay for three rooms so that you two would have some privacy.â You argued.
âYouâre really the only one upset about this, babes.â He stated, face softening when you nervously pulled your lip between your teeth. âIf youâre worried about space, Iâll take the floor.â
âI donât want you to take the floor.â
âThen Iâll take-â Remus started, but was interrupted when both you and Sirius spat âyouâre not sleeping on the floor, Remusâ and âlike fuck youâre sleeping on the floor, donât be ridiculousâ, respectively.Â
âSo those are your choices, sweetheart; I take the floor or we share the bed.âÂ
After this many years of knowing each other, you knew when Sirius was bluffing, and you knew when it was better to fold; with the no nonsense look that currently adorned his face, you knew that those were, indeed, your only options.
You looked over at the bed wearily; it really was quite largeâŚand you could use your own blanket so that you werenât encroaching on their space or stealing their blankets.Â
The problem was that the bed wasnât the only problem. It also was very much the fact that you were pretty well completely gone for two of your brothers best friends.
Two of your brothers best friends who were very much dating each other.Â
Two of your brothers best friends who were dating each other that you were completely gone for and now forced to share a bed with them.Â
Awesome.Â
Ę âââÂˇŕ¨ ę¤ ŕ§Âˇâââ É
Sirius just about died when you stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair leaving damp patches on your sleep shirt and your legs on full display thanks to the matching shorts.
He just about died again when you caught him staring at you.
He nearly died a third time when Remusâ pointed clearing of his throat was what finally broke him from the trance you had on him; both he and Remus now red in the face while you looked to be fairing little better as you hid behind your wet hair and fussed with your toiletries instead of looking at either of them.
Sirius felt horribly pathetic - years of living with the Potterâs did absolutely nothing to dim the flame he held for you, nor did the physical space that living with Remus in their own flat for the past few years offered him.
The only thing that made his infatuation slightly less embarrassing was the fact that Remus held a similar flame for you, too.Â
So while this was sort of everything heâd ever wanted - spending the night in a bed with two people he was absolutely crazy about - he was equally afraid of making you horribly uncomfortable.Â
âSmooth.â Remus muttered as he came up behind Sirius only after youâd gone back into the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sirius wanted to turn and sneer at his boyfriend. âI know I amâ danced on the tip of his tongue; his usual suave blaseness in all its glory rearing its head at the insinuation that Sirius was anything but a certified charmer.
But all that managed to leave Siriusâ lips was a breathy âfuckâ as he stared decisively at the space youâd been standing previously.
But before Sirius could spend any (more) time spiralling or Remus could offer words of encouragement (or commiseration), you were tentatively sliding into what the three of you had agreed would be your side.
Your side.Â
The sentiment made Sirius stomach dip; after all these years he was finally getting a taste of what heâd always wanted.
Yet it wasnât enough.
The lights were off and Siriusâ back was pressed into Remusâ chest as they both watched the steady rise and fall of your shoulders as you slept. Theyâd both felt so tired on the train ride here, yet neither of them could bring themselves to close their eyes when the alternative was getting to see you rest in their bed.
âIs this really happening?â Remus whispered quietly then, causing Sirius to snuggle impossibly further into him.
âFeels like a dream.â Sirius whispered back; his hand itching to reach out and twirl a lock of your drying hair around his finger, to encourage you to roll over so that they could see your pretty face, to pull you into him and hold you close.Â
Remus tightened his hold around Sirius and pushed his nose into his shoulder. âWe should tell her; need to tell her⌠this weekend.âÂ
Sirius shook his head, but it wasnât in disagreement. Rather, it was in exasperation.
âI canât believe she canât tell how crazy we are about her.âÂ
And Sirius nearly died a fourth time in one night when you seemingly shot up out of a dead sleep and spun to face them.Â
âYouâre what?â You asked; no hints of sleep in your tone (nor your wild eyes) as you stared at them incredulously.Â
âFuck.â Sirius repeated eloquently as he and Remus both sat up, the latter leaning over to turn on a lamp causing both you and Sirius to wince as your eyes adjusted.
âI thought you were asleep?â Sirius accused then, but you didnât take the bait.Â
âYouâreâŚwhat about me?â You whispered carefully.
âCrazy.â Remus responded quickly; whether he was braver than Sirius or opting to rip the bandaid off, Sirius didnât know. âWeâre crazy about you.â
You made a breathy sound, almost as if you were going to ask âwhatâ or âwhyâ or âwhenâ before the question died on your lips.Â
Sirius stared at you in wait; he didnât know whether you were about to cry, whether you were going to demand they let you build a ânestâ on the floor so you could escape them, or whether you were going to call your folks and ask them to pick you up.
So when your face broke out into a slow, still disbelieving but equally relieved grin, wellâŚheâd be damned.Â
âYeah?â You asked hopefully, eyes swimming with unshed tears as you nervously looked between the two of them.Â
âYeahâŚâ Sirius let out with a breath, daring to reach across the expanse of the bed that the three of you had clearly decided would be a no-man zone and delighting when you eagerly accepted his hand in yours.
âWe thought you were asleep, dove.â Remus offered gently, and a shy smile crept across your face as you shook your head, a lone tear trailing down your cheek that your free hand was quick to wipe away.
âCouldnât.â
âWhy not?â Sirius cooed pathetically, rubbing along your knuckles with his thumb as he took your inability to sleep to be a personal offence.Â
âWas too busy thinking about how crazy I am about the two of you, too.â You admitted in a whisper, and Sirius wondered if he had even frozen long enough to share more than a 0.35 second glance with Remus before he bodily launched himself and tackled you to the bed before peppering your face with kisses as you squealed.
âYou mean-â kisses âto tell me-â more kisses as you giggled âthat we could have been doing thisâ you squealed as he nipped at your collar bone âthis whole sodding time!?âÂ
âOi!â Remus chided teasingly. âDonât maul her!â Though his statement was severely undermined when he all but pulled you into his lap to press his own rough kiss to the side of your face.Â
âOh, Iâm just getting started.â Sirius threatened with a beaming smile as you looked at him breathlessly; eyes bright, smile wide, and heart full. âWe have lost time to make up for.âÂ
Ę âââÂˇŕ¨ ę¤ ŕ§Âˇâââ É
Enough was enough, quite frankly. The tiptoeing, the dancing, the shy glances, the longing looks - it was all too much.
Something simply needed to be done.
Was it temerarious? Perhaps. Was it conniving? More than slightly. But was it also necessary? Most definitely.
She only hoped that she hadnât gone too far, is all.
But any worries that Euphemia Potter may have had vanished entirely the second that her phone buzzed with a text from James the next morning that simply read: it worked.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#poly!wolfstar#poly!wolfstar x reader#poly!wolfstar x you#poly!wolfstar imagine#poly!wolfstar fic#poly!wolfstar fluff#poly!wolfstar blurb#poly!wolfstar drabble#poly!wolfstar ficlet#potter!reader#fem!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#modern au#ellecdc fics#one bed trope
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More than Friends- Brotherâs Bsf!Nicholas Chavez x Fem!Reader
summaryâ youâve always had a secret crush on Nicholas, your brotherâs best friend and childhood friend. when he invites you to his showâs premiere, long-buried feelings finally surface, and you face whatâs been growing between you all these years.
warningsâ friends to lovers, loss of virginity, jealous!nicholas, oral, unprotected sex(donât let a đĽˇđż fuck you without one) , fingering, praise kink, fluff, aftercare.
a/nâ requests are open <3
You had known Nicholas Chavez for as long as you could remember. Heâd been your brotherâs best friend since the early days, which naturally made him a big part of your life, too. He was only three years older, but thereâd always been a distinct gap, he was your older brother's cool best friend, the one you looked up to, even if youâd never admit it out loud. There was something about him, though, that always lingered in the back of your mind, a pull you couldn't quite name but always felt.
Growing up, you and Nicholas shared a special bond, separate from his friendship with your brother. Youâd go out together, always managing to find matching clothes or even wearing identical rings. âTwins,â heâd joke, holding up his hand to show the ring you had given him on his birthday. It was simple and unassuming, but every time you glanced at it, there was an unspoken tension that lay just beneath the surface, neither of you daring to bring it up.
But as the years went by, things changed. Nicholas landed a role on Monsters and Grotesquerie, the TV shows that catapulted him to fame, and it wasnât long before his life was full of red carpets and late-night shoots. He was often away, and youâd find yourself scrolling through TikTok edits of him when he was too busy to FaceTime. Everyone on social media couldnât stop talking about how attractive he was, how lucky any girl would be to date him. A knot would twist in your stomach every time you saw those comments, jealousy mixing with a feeling you werenât quite ready to acknowledge.
Whenever he did have a moment to breathe, heâd reach out, sometimes posting photos of the two of you together on his stories. His fans would flock to your profile, leaving jealous comments or speculating if you were more than just childhood friends. One time, youâd posted a shot of your hand with his, each of you wearing those same rings from years ago. Fans had gone wild, and your brother hadnât missed it, either, throwing you a suspicious glance when heâd noticed.
One day, he called you out of the blue with a proposition: he wanted you to be his plus-one for the premiere of Monsters. Youâd agreed, trying to keep your excitement in check, though a part of you hoped this might finally be the moment when something would shift between you.
The night of the premiere, you could hardly believe it was happening. The cameras flashed as Nicholas introduced you to his co-stars and other industry people, and people couldnât stop asking if the two of you were together. Each time, though, heâd shake his head with a soft laugh, throwing an arm around your shoulders and saying, âNah, sheâs like my little sister. We grew up together. Itâs nothing like that.â
The words cut deeper than youâd expected. It wasnât until that moment, standing beside him under the bright lights, that you realized you were in love with him. Maybe you had been for a long time.
It hurt, watching him play it off as though your bond meant nothing more than childhood nostalgia, knowing he would never see you the way you wanted him to.
He turned to you at one point, noticing your silence. âHey, are you okay? Youâve been really quiet tonight.â
âYeah,â you replied, forcing a smile. âIâm fine. Just, taking it all in, I guess.â
He raised an eyebrow, looking like he didnât quite believe you, but he let it go, just pulling you closer for a photo.
At the after-party, you decided to let loose a bit. Nicholas was busy mingling, so when Cooper Koch found you, you didnât hold back. With a mischievous grin, you allowed yourself to dance, feeling free as you moved with Cooper, who, to your surprise, didnât seem to mind the attention either. You leaned in, laughing as the music pulsed around you, and let your body fall into rhythm with his.
Suddenly, a firm hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back, breaking the spell. âWhat the hell was that?â Nicholasâs voice was low, his eyes narrowed as he stared at you. He looked annoyed, even... jealous?
âI was just having fun, Nick. Itâs a party,â you said, shrugging nonchalantly, though your heart was racing.
He clenched his jaw, looking away from you, and after a tense silence, muttered, âWhatever.â Then he ignored you for the rest of the night.
In response, you doubled down, laughing a little too loudly with Cooper and reaching for his hand as you leaned against him. You could feel Nicholasâs eyes on you now and then, but he kept his distance.
When the party finally ended, you were a bit tipsy, and walking in heels felt like a challenge. Nicholas was by your side in an instant, his arm slipping under your shoulders. "Come on," he muttered, guiding you out. The car ride back was quiet, filled with tension you could almost taste.
Once you reached his place, he carried you to the guest room, careful but intense, his gaze meeting yours with each step. He laid you down gently on the bed, eyes dark as they flicked from your face to your lips. For a moment, he lingered, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned up and kissed him.
The kiss was electric, and he leaned into it, his hands moving instinctively, pulling you closer. But just as quickly, he pulled away, shaking his head. âI canât do this. Not with you. I canât do that to your brother.â
You looked at him, a mix of hurt and defiance swirling in your eyes. Before he could say more, you slipped out of your dress, revealing the delicate lace you wore underneath. His breath hitched, and his eyes traveled over you, unable to tear away. "Damn it," he muttered, running a hand through his hair before lowering himself back down, his lips meeting yours again, more desperate this time.
âForget everything I said,â he whispered against your skin.
Nicholas's fingers slipped down, finding your pussy wet and eager, his touch precise as he stroked and teased you. He rubbed your clit slowly, staring into your eyes, the moment was intimate and everything you ever dreamed of. His thumb rubbed your clit as he slipped his finger inside you and you felt like the world around you ceased to exist. The pleasure built until you couldn't hold back, your body arching as he pushed you over the edge. You lay there, breathing heavily, and as he leaned back, your words broke through the haze between you.
"Nicholas, I'm a virgin," you confessed softly, your cheeks flushing as his eyes widened.
Nicholas looked down at you, visibly stunned, his voice a little rough. "Wait, you're a virgin? But, what about your exes? I thoughtâ"
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah, two boyfriends, but my brother scared them off from anything serious. And, honestly, they just werenât, the right one." You met his gaze, your hand reaching for his. "But you are, Nicholas. I want this. I want it to be you."
He hesitated, taking in your words, the sincerity in your eyes. âAre you sure?â he asked, his fingers brushing softly against your cheek, still searching for reassurance.
You nodded, your answer clear in the warmth of your expression.
He leaned down, pressing gentle kisses along your body, his touch reverent and careful. As he moved lower, he whispered, âI want to make this good for you.â His mouth pressed against your sensitive clit, eyes never leaving yours as he tasted you slowly, purposefully, coaxing wave after wave of pleasure from you until you finally came, breathless.
You reached out to his clothed cock to help him, but he shook his head, a smile curving his lips. âTonightâs about you pretty girl,â he murmured, his voice warm and low. âThis is your first time, and I want to make sure itâs perfect. Just relax. Let me take care of you.â
The room was quiet, the kind of stillness that carried a weight of its own. The two of you sat close, the low lighting casting soft shadows across his face. Nicholas had been your friend for years, practically family, and yet, right now, that familiar face held a depth you hadnât seen before.
He brushed his thumb along your cheek, a touch he'd offered countless times in comfort or friendship, but this time, he lingered, his thumb tracing the delicate line of your cheekbone. Your breath caught, the air thickening between you. The words tumbled from his lips, barely above a whisper, as if he feared breaking the fragile tension. âAre you sure?â
You nodded, heart pounding, and took his hand, intertwining your fingers as if grounding yourself in the moment. âIâve waited so long, Nick.â He swallowed, his gaze steady, the quiet weight of everything unspoken passing between you.
With a hint of humor to ease your nerves, you took in the sight of him, and your eyes widened. âThatâs gonna go inside me?â you said, slightly stunned. He chuckled softly, with a smirk that was all confidence and warmth. âItâll fit. Iâll make it fit.â
He placed your hand in his, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. âJust say the word if itâs too much, and Iâll stop.â
Every step was deliberate, every touch gentle as he moved slowly, his focus entirely on you. He watched your face, the slightest changes in your expression, waiting for any sign of discomfort. âYouâre doing so well,â he whispered, his voice filled with awe as your grip tightened around his fingers. Each small movement was slow, careful, his whispered reassurances grounding you.
You gasped, and he immediately stilled, eyes scanning your face. âEverything okay?â His tone was soft, a mixture of concern and patience. A shaky breath left your lips, and you nodded, steadying yourself as his gentle encouragement filled the space between you.
âIâve always loved you, you know that, right?â you whispered, almost afraid to say the words out loud. He hovered just inches from your face, his lips brushing against yours as he replied with a smile that held years of unspoken emotions. âYeah,â he murmured, voice soft and warm. âI think I always have too, I was just too scared to admit it.â
Nicholas stayed close, his hand finding yours as he moved slowly, stretching you and practically reaching your cervix before whispering, âAre you okay, sweetheart?â
You nodded, breathless. âYes Nicholas, please, don't stop.â
He chuckled softly, eyes full of adoration as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. âYou're taking me so well,â he murmured, his voice warm and encouraging. âI knew you would.â His words and steady movements built you up again until you came all over his thick cock, your body clenching around him as he held you close, grounding you with gentle praise.
âThat's it, beautiful, let go for me,â he whispered, kissing your shoulder and neck. When your breathing slowed, he gently flipped you onto your stomach, his touch delicate as he continued, tracing kisses along your shoulders and down your back. âYouâre so beautiful, do you know that?â His hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements as you felt the tension building again, his whispered words filling you with warmth and reassurance.
With one final thrust, he groaned, spilling onto your back, then smiled, tracing his fingers along your spine. âYouâve always had the most perfect ass,â he teased, making you laugh as you both caught your breath.
Afterward, he was attentive and gentle, cleaning you up carefully, checking in with soft words and brushing stray hair out of your face. âAre you okay baby? Did I hurt you at all?â
You shook your head, a peaceful smile spreading across your face. âNo. You were perfect, Nick.â
He climbed into bed beside you, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you close, pressing gentle kisses along your face, your nose, your eyelids, and murmuring, âYouâve always been mine. I just, didnât know how to tell you.â His fingers traced patterns along your back as he held you, letting the night settle around you both.
In his embrace, with his whispered reassurances, you felt safe, warm, and exactly where youâd always belonged. He was finally yours.
#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez fanfiction#nicholas chavez x black reader#nicholas chavez fluff#nicholas chavez x reader smut#nicholas chavez fic#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez x female reader#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholas chavez x fem!reader#nicholas chavez icons#nicholas chavez x poc!reader#nicholas chavez x you#father charlie grotesquerie#grotesquerie smut#general hospital#grotesquerie#father charlie mayhew x reader smut#father charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew x black reader#charlie mayhew x reader#charlie mayhew smut#nicholas chavez angst#black reader#father charlie smut#friends to lovers#cooper koch
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tw: smut (mdni), drinking, casual car sex.
dean was never ârelationship material.â blame it on his âhunter lifeâ or his âmommy-daddy-and-family-in-generalâ issues. he couldnât hold down a committed relationship for more than two monthsâand that wouldâve been a new record.
so, instead, heâd stick to flirting with women in bars, making them feel really good, and then forgetting about them. love âem and leave âem!
this was one of those nights, after a long, brutal case, where he just needed to blow off some steam. and there you were, laughing with your friends, celebrating your birthday, looking sweet and carefree in your sparkly outfit, with that goofy birthday hat that made you look fucking cute. twenty-one.
he watched you downing shots like a pro. he wasnât stalking you, of courseâdonât get it twisted. he was just waiting for the right moment to make his move.
when your hips swayed their way to the bar where he was taking his whiskey, feeling bold (though it wasnât like dean winchester needed alcohol to feel bold), you leaned against the bar with a big, bright smile. he knew that was his winner moment.
âhappy birthday, sweetheart,â he smirked, nodding at your birthday hat as you gave him a puzzled look like, how does this guy know itâs my birthday?
you laughed, pulling the hat off awkwardly. âoh, right. thanks.â
âenjoying yourself?â he sipped his whiskey, watching you nod.
âyeah, i didnât want anything too big...â you shrugged, a tipsy habit of yoursâoversharing with strangers. âmy boyfriend ditched me for someone else two days ago, awesome, right?â
what kind of idiot would leave someone like you? he needed to show you what a real man felt likeâat least for tonight.
and thatâs how he ended up with you in his lap, your ass jiggling with every spank he gave it, while his other hand gripped your hip to help you bounce on his cock. âthere you go, pretty girl.â
babyâs windows were fogged up, streaked with the marks of your fingers as you struggled to match the rhythm of his hips thrusting up into you, the impala vibrating with the heavy metal blasting from the speakers mixing with your moans and dean's deep grunts.
this was easily the best birthday present you got this year. a welcome change from your lame ex, who didnât even know what a clit was, and this man knew what he was doing, flicking your clit with his thumb, making your legs tremble just the right way.
a loud moan slipped from your lips as your back arched, your nails digging into his shoulders while he slammed the head of his cock against your g-spot. a smirk appearing.
âjust like that, fuck,â you mumbled into the crook of his neck, your hips moving faster. your hand slid up to the back of his neck, pulling him into a sloppy kiss.
âmm, baby, ridinâ me like a fuckinâ cowgirl, huh?â he muttered against your lips, tugging lightly on your bottom lip with his teeth. âbet youâve never had dick this good, all to yourself.â
#áš đ pinkgic ! ęę ࣪#đ. đŚ.#earlyseasons!dean ⤸#[ â fem!reader ]#i need to stop writing smut#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester smut#dean winchester x you#supernatural#pinkgic's works ᥣđŠ
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the lawn is dead. pt.2
hi! i wrote a part 2! iâm on a unofficial hiatus but had some inspiration the last few days and had to finish this. hope it provides a little bit more comfort then the last chapter .. sorry xo
warnings: suicidal themes, self harm themes, themes of depression, anxiety, dark thoughts. viewer discretion advised.
You can describe the carpet of this office better then most people can describe themselves.
Itâs a rug, for the most part, except for the where itâs clear a person has chosen laziness in favour of lifting up the heavier furniture to place the rug down underneath it. Where the rug doesnât cover, there is bleak grey carpet that feels more boring then the time you spend in this room.
Where the carpet lacks in literally everything, the rug makes up for it blindingly.
Itâs a messy mixture of far too many colours, pinks, purples, blues, greens and neutrals. It doesnât make any sense in your mind, why somebody would chose for the focal point of their room to be a rug that doesnât match with any of the furniture. Itâs another sign that the furniture came before the rug, all of the furniture is dark mahogany, beautiful pieces that look as if theyâve come from and English period piece, whereas the rug looks so modern itâs almost painful.
The rest of the furniture has been picked with similar taste.
The painting on the wall looks like what a child would vomit after going to a birthday party. Every time youâve come here youâve had a new analogy, but this week that is the one, it looks like stomach contents and you canât get past it, to the point itâs made you physically nauseated.
From the painting moves onto the bookshelf, where there is a odd mix of medical textbooks, classics and selfawareness books, all stacked in such disarray that you have to keep your eyes away because it makes you uncomfortable.
Beyond the furniture is your psychologist, with her stupid fucking note pad, stupid glasses perched on the very tip of her nose and stupidly calm face that never really changed.
She was supposed to be a specialist, the best of the best, supposed to be the greatest and getting to the bottom of the most famous athletes problems and yet you found pride in alluding her.
One hour, every four days was what you were down to now, a couple of weeks ago it had been every other day and that had been fucking torture.
Sometimes all you wanted to do was rip her eyeballs out, or her brains, or something else. You swore she made your ears bleed and your will to live deteriorate with every second and it was already pretty low.
âYou canât avoid my question forever.â
It was also that annoying tone that sent you, the sort of tone that meant she knew that technically for the whole of the hour she could ask you whatever she pleased and you were technically supposed to answer her. Defiance on your end just ended up in you being suspended from something else that made your life just a tiny bit more liveable.
âNo, I havenât talked to Mapi yet.â
Youâve been avoiding it, there have bits and pieces of homework from your therapist, but this one is by far the hardest.
âHow about Alexia, how does she feel about that.â
You donât want to tell her that you and Alexia are in shambles as it is, add on the pressure of her best friend being psychologically destroyed because of you and just talking about any of it at all and itâs like dynamite.
âSupportive.â
Your therapist nods, but in the way that you know she doesnât quite believe you.
âHave you started to reintegrate with the team? I know last time we talked you mentioned that before the incident youâd been feeling quite isolated because of your ankle injury. Itâs important that you start to normalise your life again before you start to self isolate.â
You donât call it self-isolation, you like to call it self protection. You protect yourself by pushing against the grain, by keeping to yourself. Itâs a lot easier that way.
âIâve been busy.â
Itâs a lie and a blatant one, your days are filled with complete nothingness. You canât play football, not until she clears you, and you know that itâs not going to happen anytime soon based on the trend of your current sessions. There has been the same amount of progress as there was two weeks ago when you started with her. You shut down at every attempt she makes to try and open you up, you talk when you have to. Itâll probably get you sent back to a ward. You donât remember much from your transition from the hospital to home, but you do remember signing something that referred to you making significant process or else you would be sent back.
Progress for your therapist is getting more then two word responses from you. Youâre aware sheâs in kahoots with Alexia, that Alexia is probably providing her more information then you are.
âYouâre giving me the look that means that youâre writing something down along the lines of âunncooperativeâ.â
She is also in kahoots with the staff at Barcelona, another thing you signed was that she would work in conjunction with the clubs doctors to get you back to where you were, or somewhere in the vicinity.
They know every time you have a bad session, youâre guaranteed a consolation call from one of the coaches or even sometimes a teammate check-in telling you how brave you are and how strong you are for doing this.
You donât agree, you nearly took the cowards way out and youâre proud of it. You wish it had fucking worked, every single second, of every single day, you wish youâd succeeded, wished that this hadnât all ended up how it did.
âThatâs not what I wrote, I wrote a observation. Uncooperative would be you refusing to speak to me like you did for our first two sessions, even if you lie itâs still trying.â
You donât want to be curious of her, youâve tried to give her as little attention as possible.
Youâve adapted the act that you call, therapised you.
You do your best job of smiling here and there, or at least when you know that youâre supposed to. Therapised you extends to a few people, Alexia, coaches, physios, people on the street.
You believe youâve become a seasoned liar.
The funniest part is that sometimes you start to believe your act, you start to believe that all the ash and embers in your chest is really alight with flames, like youâre truly alive.
But then, you would pause, sit down, lie down, dissasociate and you would be reminded that that wasnât your body. Your body wasnât a place of life and prosper, it was as dead as anywhere else.
âWhat was the observation?â
You try not to be curious over her, or curious in general, you keep everything to yourself.
âYouâve told me time and time again that you attempted because you believed that not a single person would care if you were gone. Yet you wrote a letter, you knew that somebody would care, somebody would miss you. Guilt is what kept you from doing it earlier and guilt was what kept you from vanishing without a trace. Your conscience was clean in your own words, but thatâs not true, your conscience was anything but clean. So what pushed you over?â
You hate that therapists have a way of worming out weird bits of information that they can use against you to worm out more bits of information, like they know your brain inside to out.
âMy conscience was clean.â
Your therapist pulls her glasses up from her nose and scribbles on her pad again.
âWhyâd you write a note then, specifically why did you write a note to your ex girlfriend?â
There are so many things you could say to that, but you canât quite find the words.
âLet me rephrase to make it easier. When you were in the hospital, and Alexia reacted so viscerally, you werenât surprised. You expected her to feel something about what happened, you didnât seem surprised at all by her words or actions. You knew that she was going to be hurt by what you did. So, how was your conscience truly clean?â
Thinking about Alexia in the hospital makes you feel as nauseous as the furniture does.
Your still mad at her, still mad at yourself for never changing her as your medical contact and medical proxy. It had all been a clusterfuck.
âI didnât know Alexia was going to be there, I though that sheâd washed her hands of me. I left her a note because I thought there had been things left unsaid between us and I didnât want to leave that way.â
Your therapist nods, she doesnât scribble this time and that makes the itchy feeling all over you die down a little bit.
âAlright, letâs move on. Your ankle injury, howâs that going?â
You look to the window, itâs a horrible day outside, just your luck when youâd chosen to walk to your therapists office on what was supposed to be a 20 degree day with sunny skies. It was the epitome of your life, high expectations, low realities.
âWell three weeks between a hospital and psychiatric facility are probably the best thing anybody can do for a injury.â
You let out a self-deprecating chuckle and your therapist does nothing but scribble.
âSo youâve been doing your rehab as advised then?â
Rehab, both kinds, is mind-bogglingly boring. You go to your therapist and she tells you all the ways you have to work to rehab your brain, she gives you medication after medication and exercise after exercise. The same happens every time you see your physio, test after test, exercise after exercise.
Your stuck in the same cycle of boredom, it makes you wonder how people ever expect you to get better when all you are doing is living in a constant state of suffering.
âThe physios are happy with me, say that if I continue on the track that I am I should be back on the pitch in a few weeks, with psychological clearance.â
At the current therapeutic rate your going at, you donât think youâll see a psychological clearance until your 50th birthday, if youâre lucky.
âHow does it feel coming back from that injury, especially considering how the decline in your physical health simulatenously resulted in the decrease in your mental health?â
You keep silent, because you know that if you talk then itâs doing to be something emotional. When you donât know how to answer questions without exposing yourself you opt to keep quiet, itâs a obvious tell that you feel uncomfortable with the question. But giving away a tell is a whole lot better then starting an emotional downpour.
âY/n?â
You look at your shoes. You only were allowed to start wearing one on your bad foot a week ago, and youâd forgotten how hard it was to coordinate shoes with your clothes. This morning youâd thought that they matched with your pants but now they look much darker then they truly are against the grey carpet. The mix of your navy adidas that you might have stolen from Mapiâs wardrobe a couple of months ago when she was complaining about the amount of shoes sheâd been sent with your grey wide leg pants was a interesting choice but therapy wasnât a fashion parade. The shoes donât quite fit your feet, thatâsc how you remembered they werenât yours. When youâd taken them, it had been during some kind of team bonding night at Mapi and Ingridâs apartment. Life had been so good, Alexia and you had been so good and for once youâd kind of felt like you were beginning to fit in.Youâd never felt that way before that era of your life.
But like most things, it was now a far distant memory.
âThe injury wasnât what made me depressed.â
Itâs a half truth, you suppose. Yes, the injury definitely contributed to the factors that trigger your depression, but it wasnât a sole cause.
âI disagree.â
More scribbling on her note pad, in your opinion it must be some psychological form of torture. Youâll google it when you get home, check to make sure that this isnât a form of manipulation to somehow convince you to say the things that she wants you to.
âIf you disagree then tell me why you think that.â
Itâs daring of you to say, there is nearly a 99.99 percent chance that whatever she says you are going to deny vehemently. Even if she hits it right on the nail.
âI think that you donât give yourself enough grace for the challenges that youâve gone through. You came to Barcelona because you were running from things, from your past. Youâve never stopped running, truly. Everytime somebody gets close enough to begin to try and worm their feet into your shoes to try and relive some of it with you, you shut them down and stop it. For most people, shoes are a means of getting to where they want, for you, you keep running because if you stop you feel like youâll suffocate, like your feet will be wrapped up in barb wire and youâll be stuck. For whatever reason, you donât think anybody will ever be able to empathise with that. You think that if you ever let anybody in for long enough that they learn what youâve been running from that theyâll try and stop you, that youâll be faced with everything that youâve ever struggled with. So, you keep running, and running, youâve always been in a state of escape. With your relationship, you finally stopped running, you slowed to a jog. Then, you got injured. All of a sudden you felt like you were stuck and instead of letting yourself finally come to a stop and accepting help and complete love for once in your life, and being vulnerable. You chose to start running again, running from your friends, running from your team, running from every single good thing that youâd gotten in your life until you were so consumed with all the running that you just wanted it all to stop. But you didnât know how to stop parts of your life without stopping other parts, so you chose to stop it all.â
You donât know what to say for a few seconds. Youâve never had the feeling that youâve been experiencing your whole life summed up, you donât know how to feel about it.
You look at your psychologist, and somehow she looks back at you in a way that you somehow feel like she understands, youâve never really felt that way about her.
Itâs always felt like sheâs judging you, like itâs her job to judge every single thing you say. Or at least thatâs the way youâve always seen it. Itâs her job to make sure you donât fall of the rails again, to make decisions about what you can and canât do. Itâs never been a possibility for you that maybe sheâs here for a little bit more then just the business side of it all.
âIs that it? Did you come to a point where it felt like you had no other option but to just make it all stop?â
You bite your lip so hard you think it might just bleed, itâs a mission to try and stop the tears that have begun to cling to the back of your eyes at bay. Youâve never cried during a therapy session, and there is no reason why today should be different. The amount of people youâve cried in front of is limited to a very, very short list of people and you donât intend for your psychologist to be added.
âIt would be okay if that was it. Itâs okay to admit that for you at that time it felt like there was no other option but to make it all stop.â
You feel muzzled, like you canât speak without admitting to something that you donât want to.
âI thought it would make it all better.â
Your therapist puts down her notepad, and you feel a whole load of anxiety rush out of you.
âYou thought it would make what better?â
You keep your tooth pinned to your lip, if it draws blood, it draws blood. The pain helps to take your focus off of the word vomit you can feel coming up.
âEveryone elseâs lives.â
Your response is croaky, and when your therapist points to the glass of water you donât shake your head like normal, you find yourself reaching for it and taking a few tentative sips.
âWhat about your life, what about making your own life better?â
You take a few more sips, because it stalls the conversation for long enough that you can think up an answer that doesnât make it sound like you are completely insane.
âI was never really thinking about it like that.â
You look at her, eye to eye again, and there is this weird understanding between the two of you. You can feel it, whether or not itâs real, for the first time you feel like you arenât crazy for thinking the way that you do. Itâs a weird kind of safety that youâve never had.
âFor a minute, I want you to close your eyes and think about exactly what you want, whether itâs the future, itâs right now. Not football, not other people, nobody else. Just you.â
You humour her, and close your eyes.
For a few seconds, you canât think of much. Youâve never been a future thinker, not beyond emergency plans and second options.
You think about death for a few seconds, a couple of weeks ago it was all you could think of. Permanent, irreversible disappearance. Even then though, it wasnât what you were actually yearning for, not truly, it was just an easy solution to complex problems, problems that still havenât been solved.
You think long and hard, and eventually you find a pleasantness.
You want to resolve things with Alexia, you know that for sure. Itâs been impossible trying to navigate your relationship in your new reality. You want to get to a place where itâs less impossible. You want happiness with her, pure happiness. You also want some kind of return to football, you donât know how. Youâve never really played football because itâs what you love, youâve never loved your sport, itâs more been about having something that could take you places when inevitable wherever you had been was no longer an option because youâd somehow fucked it up.
You want a better relationship with yourself, you want to understand why you think the way you do and why you canât think the same way and be the same way as everyone. You want to get past the fear you have that you will never be the same.
When you have nothing else to think about, you open your eyes, to your psychologist smiling at you.
âThatâs our hour, Iâm really happy to leave this here and circle back to some of it in a couple of days. The progress youâre making is definitely getting bigger and Iâm happy to sign off on you getting some hours in the gym if your physios are happy with it. Iâll call the team tonight and we can work out a plan that works best.â
Youâre in slight disbelief as she speaks.
âYouâre sure?â
You stay seated for the sake of making sure that you havenât somehow dreamt up what sheâs just said.
âIf you try and make some progress with your homework. I want you to try and talk to Mapi, a text message, coffee, something. I want you to talk to Alexia beyond her being a caregiver for you and I want you to make progress with your teammates, donât avoid the gym if you know they are going to be there, donât avoid team events, dip a toe in the water with them and I can guarantee you will have a very different outcome then what you think.â
Contingencies. One thing youâve learnt about therapy is that there are always contingencies, itâs always a give and take, never one or the other.
You nod your head anyways, somehow, with her weird manipulation games youâve managed to agree to something that the version of you from and hour ago never would have.
âIâll try.â
Your therapist smiles and stands up, for whatever reason there is always a part of you that loves the end of your sessions but also never wants to leave.
Whether it seems like it or not, you actually do want to get better, you just donât know what better looks like for you and thatâs scary. Youâve never met the version of yourself that is âbetterâ or ânormalâ. You canât say that you want to be your old self because there hasnât ever been a version of yourself that feels better. Youâve always been in the slums, always been dragging yourself through the thickest mud to try and make it to the end of a day or month or year. You donât actually want to survive like that, you want to live your life properly, or whatever non-sluggish life looks like for you.
Your still desperately trying to work that out.
Alexia is waiting in the carpark as usual, itâs always the same carpark, always the same consolation hot chocolate in her hands afterwards.
Once youâve sat down in her passenger seat, put on your seatbelt and the takeaway cup is settled in your hands she broaches the topic of your session.
âHow was it?â
There is always an awkwardness around your sessions, Alexia picks your up from every one, on the odd occasion sheâll join in if your therapist thinks it would be good. Otherwise, she spends the time sitting in her car and picking up hot drinks.
Itâs infinitely awkward between the two of you, but Alexia in your opinion is mostly to blame for that.
Sheâd been the first person to put her hand up to be your carer, your glorified babysitter.
You know itâs a guilt thing, she feels guilty that part of your pain could have been because of her, even though youâve insisted time and time again that it wasnât.
âFine.â
Therapy is a tough topic for you, mostly because youâve never wanted to be there in the first place. Youâd been tricked into going from the beginning, Alexia insisting that she was taking you to a appointment to check up on your scars when really it had been to your psychologists office. Youâd yelled and screamed and insisted that she take you home, but at the end of the day if you ever wanted to play football again it was obvious you were going to have to suck it up.
You hadnât talked to Alexia for days after that, which is funny because that was less then three weeks ago and now youâre here.
âFine?â
You nod your head, itâs hard to find words after a normal session, but after this one itâs ever harder.
âI made some progress.â
Alexia nods, you know there are probably a hundred questions going through her head right now, but she wonât ask them. Sheâs too scared that if she asks them, sheâll get an answer that will terrify her. One that will restart all of the problems, even if that isnât really how it works. Alexia doesnât understand mental health, thatâs become frighteningly obvious over the past few weeks. She doesnât understand your struggles because sheâs never experienced them. Sheâs never had self hatred or depression or overwhelming anxiety. Itâs what makes you feel so alienated and so out of place amongst your peers. You feel like a shark amongst a sea of dolphins, like you look the same but when it comes down to it you are completely different.
âThatâs good, no?â
You nod your head, disguising the grimace on your face by the mouth of the lid on your hot chocolate.
âShe says I can start doing some hours in the gym.â
Alexia smiles, big and wide, like itâs her whose been given the good news.
âThatâs good bebita, youâll be on the pitch in no time.â
The pitch. Itâs all Alexia cares about.
When you can be back, how she can get you to the point you can be back. Because when Alexia is injured, itâs all she cares about. What she can do to get herself back on the pitch, how she can make the rehab process faster, she thinks of every single logistic and possibility.
You want to make it back to the pitch, or you think you do. But itâs not your priority. Itâs become abundantly clear that your main priority has to be yourself, figuring yourself out.
âMhm.â
You focus your energy on counting how many bike riders pass Alexiaâs car as she navigates through peak city traffic. You get to 38 before she interrupts your intense search for every person on two wheels.
âVickyâs supposed to be coming over later, I promised Iâd help her with a school project. I can go to her house instead if youâd prefer?â
Every time Alexiaâs broached the topic of teammates youâve immediately refused any contact, and your immediate reaction is to say no. but you think about what your therapist said.
âI might text Mapi and see if she wants to talk to me.â
You hear the sound of Alexiaâs shock in the form of a choken sort of cough, she tries to cover it up by slapping her hand against the wheel of her car, but it doesnât do much.
âI think that would be a really good idea, bebita, I think she would be really happy to see you.â
You donât look at Alexia, you donât want to see the look of perplexion or shock or whatever emotion sheâs going through. You havenât seen Mapi since the hospital, and as little as you remember from then, you remember Mapi very clearly.
She had been just as out of it as youâd been, refusing to leave your bedside but Ingrid having to do everything for her to keep her alive. Every time she visited you, she looked like sheâd seen a ghost, or something worse. You werenât sure what was worse, seeing somebody dead or seeing somebody who was hanging on the cliff of life and death and having to save their life, knowing that if action hadnât of been taken they would be dead.
Definitely the latter.
âIâll text her, see if she can come and pick you up before Vicky comes over?â
You nod your head, allowing yourself to focus back on counting your tally, except moving over to motorcycles this time.
You shower with the bathroom door halfway open. There are no sharps anywhere in your apartment, knives, razors, scissors, nail clippers, vegetable peelers, glasses, anything that could cause any kind of bodily harm. For now, you arenât allowed to be left alone for longer then an hour. You sleep with your bedroom door open and Alexia sleeping in the guest room next door. You eat a set meal plan, you do two hours of rehab every single day, you live on a schedule that is so carefully planned that you have no time to yourself and yet every single moment feels lonely.
Itâs a process, youâve been told. Itâs crucial to your recovery that there are measurements in place to assure your âsuccessâ.
Alexia knocks on your door every five minutes whilst you shower, you yell back every time.
It had become a rule after the first time youâd showered with the door open youâd made a joke about using the shower curtain to harm yourself, because what did they really expect you to be doing?
It hadnât gone well, Alexia going silent for a few days and a very heated conversation with your psychologist about the inappropriateness of making jokes about suicide.
It was your trauma, it was your fucking story, and everyone was acting like it was their most sensitive issue.
Bathrooms are a bit of a touchy subject, you donât shower in your ensuite bathroom anymore, you canât. The room has permanently been blocked off, completely forgotten about.
The first thing you want to do once youâve ârecoveredâ is leave this apartment, there are to many bad memories, it feels like youâll never be able to recover if your stuck in the same place that you were in when it all went bad.
Itâs a problem for when you can deal with the stress of packing up your whole life and moving it to somewhere.
When you shut the water off and step out of the warm stream you let yourself breathe, showers are the only real alone time you get. Everywhere else you are supervised, watched like a hawk to make sure that you donât try anything else that could jeopardise your return to football. The reality is that Barca canât afford to have you sit on the sideline for a whole season, they need you back, they canât risk another slip up.
Alexia at least gives you the privacy of getting dressed in your own wardrobe, all of your wired bras have been removed, but for the most part itâs all normal.
You get dressed in another sweat suit, itâs become your new uniform over the last few weeks, no draw strings of course.
Your hair gets swept into a messy bun, itâs too much effort to deal with the brushing and braiding and tying that you would have normally gone through with a couple of weeks ago. You arenât allowed to wear jewellery anymore so your accessories consist of pretty much nothing. Youâre bare from the bones to your clothes, your soul feels as bare as the rest of your body.
Youâre allowed to wear laced shoes, but you often opt not to, slip on birkenstocks or uggs are just easier. The Barcelona January chill has been getting to you recently, so you upt for your ugg boots.
Your outfit choice is the most choice you get in your day, so you try and put as little thinking into it as possible, itâs easier for you to just succumb to the reality that everything in your life is controlled by other people.
By the time youâve finished, youâre towing very close to the time Mapi had told Alexia sheâd come and meet you. You collect the things that you might need from your vanity and shove them in your pocket, before making your way out to your living room.
Itâs unofficially become Alexiaâs office, her laptop and books cover your dining table now. She lives out of your apartment, leaves only for training and barcelona commitments, so itâs fair to say that sheâs made herself at home.
When you were living together before, it had bothered you more, having her things everywhere. Alexia is a organiser, of everything and everybody but herself. Youâd spend hours telling her to pick up her shoes from random spots around the apartment floor or getting her to pick up random clothing items laying on top of pieces of furniture. This mess is different, it reflects how the situation is different. There is nothing comfortable about your predicament, itâs not the same kind of comfortable coexistence you had when you were dating Alexia.
There is a boundary between the two of you now and it makes it all so much more confusing.
Alexia isnât just your friend or your teammate, sheâs you caregiver, the person who holds you accountable, unofficially the person who is supposed to keep you from doing anything to yourself. It adds a whole layer of stress to the situation, you canât relax around her the same way you used to.
Your relationship is never going to be the same, but parts of you wished that Alexia hadnât taken over the burden of caring for you, because maybe the two of you could work on rebuilding yourselves as a couple instead of Alexia trying to rebuild you as a person, as if you are a broken lego set that needed to be put back together.
She spends most of her time in your living room, doesnât push the boundary of your bedroom unless itâs needed.
Sheâs sat at the kitchen table, preparing herself to help with whatever project it is that Vicky needs help with.
âShouldnât Vicky have maybe asked one of the younger girls? Youâre practically ancient now, they probably teach the kids these days history from when you were growing up.â
Whatever Alexia looks like sheâs going to be helping with looks like something sheâs definitely not qualified in, although Alexiaâs never the person to say no.
âYouâre acting like Iâm a dinosaur, Iâm only four years older then you.â
She rolls her eyes at you and it feels so normal, for a second you feel so much more normal. Life would be so much easier if everybody stopped treating you like a fine fucking piece of china. An eye roll here or there, a yell here or there, some kind of emotion beyond sympathy would be nice.
âI mean, in comparison to Vicky youâre pretty much from the stone ages.â
Alexia rolls her eyes again, she looks like sheâs about to fight back against you but a knock at the door silences you both.
All of a sudden the little smile is gone and the air goes thick again, thick with the reminder that you canât just exist in a bubble of nothingness were nobody else exists and you can just be free from everything.
Alexia gets up to open the door, and you let her, allowing yourself to loiter around the table and enjoy the moment for just a little bit longer. Itâs that moment that might just get you through what is about to happen.
Alexia calls for you and you know itâs Mapi, you know itâs Mapi because Mapi wonât step foot in your apartment.
Ingrid had come to visit when youâd come home, along with a handful of other people, but Mapi hadnât been one of them. Ingrid had explained that it had been to hard for her, that sheâd made it to the door but couldnât come in, and you couldnât find it in you to blame her.
Mapi smiles at you when she sees you, itâs the first time youâve seen her since the hospital and the both of you look very different since then.
She looks less dead, thatâs the first thing you take notice of. She doesnât look like she would blow away into a puff of smoke if a gust of wind came past. She looks good, she looks healed.
Mapi and you donât talk, for whatever reason, you take the normal walk you would every sunday morning before it happened.
Down from your apartment, onto the main street, up to the mouth of the road, across the street and then onto the boardwalk.
Itâs the main reason you chose your apartment, itâs right next to the beach. Perfect for post matchday swims and a morning walk on the beach. It used to be yours and Mapiâs pregame routine and itâs easy to fall into the rhythm of your feet moving down the sidewalk.
No words are spoken until the two of you are seated on the sand, a wordless agreement that you both come to when your toes hit the beach.
Youâre both seated, your eyes looking over the horizon. Your too scared to break the silence, so you wait for Mapi.
âYou look good, chica.â
You nod your head, you feel better, you must look better then how you did.
âI feel better.â
Mapi nods, when her hand reaches out to sit on top of your own on the sand, you donât flinch away, it feels good to have a physical connection with a person who isnât Alexia.
The silence falls over the two of you again, except this time it feels less uncomfortable. You let it linger for a little bit, before you feel in a place to speak.
âI need to say thank you. I know I said some things in the hospital, I meant it in the moment but I want to take it back now. You saved me, you did something so brave and amazing and the version of me now is so grateful that you did.â
Mapi stops your rant, before you can say something else.
âI would have done it for anybody else.â
The problem is you think, that you arenât anybody else. It would be so much easier to give cpr to a random person on the street and never see them again, never have to be worried that you would see them again and there would be some kind of problem.
âBut you did it for me. You saved me from myself, and I want you to know that I genuinely am so thankful for you. You didnât choose the easy option and I put you in a extremely hard position. If anything had of happened to me, you would have blamed yourself and it wouldnât have been your fault but you would have felt like it was.â
Mapi nods, and then you hear a sniffle and it makes you feel horrible.
Mapiâs crying, sheâs crying and you donât know what to do.
âYou begged me to reverse it, in the hospital, you didnât say some things. You begged me to stab you or do something. You told me it was my fault you were alive and that it was my responsibility to undo what Iâd done.â
You take a deep breath, you didnât remember it being that bad, but you remember Alexia telling you that some of the things youâd said had been unrepeatable.
âI canât reverse what I said, in that moment I was in so much pain Maps. I actually canât tell you how much pain i was in, all I wanted was to disappear. Iâm working through not feeling that way and that starts by apologising. You did not deserve to experience what you did. You did not deserve to see what you did. You did not deserve to hear what I said to you. I am sorry. There is nothing I can say that will make any of it okay, I am sorry that for whatever reason god chose you to be the person burdened with this. I am so sorry.â
Mapi sniffles again. You knew that the possibility of no reconciliation was possible, that Mapi would reject any offer of apologies you had, youâd just really hoped it wouldnât be like that.
âYouâve been like a little sister to me. I know you didnât feel like we were that close, but I saw so much of me in you from when I was younger, and that was part of the reason I ended up at your apartment that night. Because I was worried, more then anybody else. I had this weird feeling, and I hated that I was right about it. You were like my little sister, and I watched as they strapped you onto a gurney and wheeled you off whilst telling me that they would try their hardest. I donât blame you, there is no blame for something like this. But I need you to understand that I canât just get over what I www, Iâm working through it, Iâm trying. My therapist has really been helping me, but itâs not going to disappear.â
You nod, Mapi and you have been through two mirroring experiences, and oddly you feel the same way about your own therapy. Youâre working through it, youâre trying, but nothing that has happened is ever going to disappear, with yourself or with your peers.
âMaps, youâre allowed to experience however you want. If you never want to see me again I wonât hate you.â
Mapi shakes her head.
âI donât know how I feel yet, I just need you to know that I understand that the you right now is different to the you from weeks ago, and you are entitled to separate yourself from that person. You donât have to be that person if you donât want to be. Let yourself live in the new version of you, the old version died back then.â
You bite your lip, there is beginning to become a permanent divet from your front teeth, you like it in a weird way.
âIâm trying, Iâm really trying.â
Mapi nods, raising her arm from your hand, to your shoulders, bringing you into her side.
âWeâll try together then, huh? You try for me and Iâll try for you?â
You nod your head, and for the first time it doesnât feel like youâre totally alone in the battle that youâre fighting. Itâs still very much your battle, but it feels like you have somebody in your corner letting you know that you are going to be okay.
âââââââââââââ
well aware itâs not edited⌠if u have an issue with that such my dick xoxo
hope you enjoyed !!!! đŤśđŤśđŤśđŤś
#woso#sammykworshipper thoughts#woso community#sammykworshipperfics#woso imagine#alexia putellas fic#alexia putellas angst#alexia x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#mapi leon#mapi leon x reader#i just love mapi#angst except i tried my best to not make it angst#woso one shot#woso fanfics#woso fic#woso x reader#woso appreciation
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crush culture â lee jeno ᥣđŠ
summary : liking jeno was a mistake. kissing him didn't make it any better.
warnings : mentions of alcohol/drinking, kissing, cusswords, angst!! (this does not portray how the idols are irl, all the things here are written to match the song crush culture by conan gray!!)
wc : 6.3k
a/n : reader uses she/her pronouns !! jerk!jeno and bestfriend!mark :D thank u for 100+ followers ~~ cant believe i managed to pull out more than 5k words out of my ass >< my finals are currently happening so that's why i've been ia for soooo long :( i promise when i'm done i'll be clearing out both my drafts and requests ^^
Seeing your best friend, Belle, flirt with Jeno on your couch hit harder than you ever expected. The way they leaned into each other, laughter spilling from their lips like a sweet melody, made your stomach churn in a way that felt foreign and unwelcome. You had no right to feel this way, not when you knew about her crush on him. You had even agreed to be her wingman tonight, setting up this moment so she could finally have her chance. But somehow, along the way, you fell for him too, your heart weaving itself into a tapestry of unspoken feelings and bitter regret.
You should feel happy for her, after all her efforts to catch his attention, but the tight knot in your chest made it impossible to be anything but miserable. âItâs fine. Be happy. Itâs your birthday, after all,â you whispered under your breath, trying to convince yourself. The words felt heavy, lacking the enthusiasm they were meant to carry. You exhaled a shaky breath before heading to the kitchen, desperate to escape the sight of them together.
The kitchen was warm, filled with the faint scent of alcohol and fruity punch hanging in the air like an unwelcoming fog. Mark stood by the counter, effortlessly mixing drinks with an ease that told you heâd done this a hundred times before. He glanced up as you entered, and a flicker of concern passed over his face when he caught sight of your downcast expression. He flicked his eyes toward the living room, and you knew he had noticed. Most of your friends knew about your crush on Jeno. It wasnât something you talked about much, but the way your eyes lingered on him said enough.
âYou okay?â Mark asked, his voice low, but the concern was clear, filling the space between you like a fragile glass.
You could only shrug, unsure of how to explain the whirlpool of emotions churning within your chest. It felt too complicated to articulate.
Without a word, he whipped up a drink, something colourful and sweet, and handed it to you. The condensation from the glass cooled your palm, but it did little to soothe the fire raging inside. The drink looked vibrant, but you could already tell it was just a disguise for the hollowness you felt.
âSheâs kind of a bitch for doing that in front of you,â Mark muttered, glancing back at the couch, his fingers absentmindedly wiping down the counter. His words hung in the air like a lifebuoy tossed your way, and for a moment, it felt like they were offering you a chance to vent, to express all the things you were holding back. But you shook your head, pushing the thoughts down.
âNot really,â you sighed, taking a sip of the drink. The sweetness coated your tongue, but it tasted like nothing, a mere distraction. âIâm the bitch here. Liking the same guy as my best friend, after she tells me she likes him, that kind of thing breaks girl code.â
Mark furrowed his eyebrows, his confusion evident. âGirl code? Really?â He scoffed softly, shaking his head. âCome on, Belle falls for every guy who looks her way. Everyone knows that. Besides, you actually have a better shot, Jeno knows you, trusts you. You should go for it.â
You nearly choked on your drink, laughter bubbling up despite your mood. âYeah, and get a reputation for stealing my friendsâ crushes? No thanks, Mark. Iâll pass.â You handed him the empty glass, watching as he refilled it, his movements swift and practiced. The glint of the alcohol under the dim kitchen lights reflected how your emotions felt; messy and swirling, a whirlpool threatening to pull you under.
Mark sighed, exasperated. âItâs your party. Donât let them get in your head. Go have some fun.â He handed you the new drink with a smile, but before you could take another sip, he added, âAnd donât drink too much. You canât handle it, and we both know it.â
But after two glasses, fun was the last thing you felt. The sight of Jeno and Belle still played in your mind, a vivid loop that made the alcohol churn uncomfortably in your stomach. You tried to find Belle in the crowded room, but she was nowhere to be seen. After asking around and realising Jeno wasnât there either, the pit in your stomach grew deeper. You knew what that probably meant.
You found yourself wandering back to the kitchen, your mind foggy but determined to drown out the ache with another drink. Mark raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to see you again. When you asked for yet another glass, he sighed deeply, a mixture of concern and frustration in his expression.
âThis is your last one,â he warned, handing you the drink reluctantly. âYou canât handle much. I donât want to have to carry you out of your own party.â
But Markâs warning felt like a distant echo in your ears. By the time you were begging for a fourth drink, all caution had slipped away, and you couldnât care less about the consequences. The music in the living room was thumping, laughter echoing like a cruel reminder of your current situation, and all you could feel was the weight of everything you couldnât have â Jeno, your peace, the ability to not care.
âI already told you, no more drinks. Youâre cut off,â Mark said, frustration clear in his voice. âIâll get you some water instead.â
As he turned to open the fridge, you took your chance. The cold metal of a beer can brushed against your fingertips as you snatched it from the counter. You were so focused on your mission to drown out the pain that you didnât notice Mark turning back toward you.
ây/n,â he snapped, his tone stern, âlet go of the can. Youâre going to regret this.â
You raised the can to your lips, but Mark was quicker. His hand reached out to grab it from you, and in the struggle, the can slipped from your grasp. The beer splashed everywhere â over your shirt, dripping down your arms, and pooling on the floor. The cold liquid seeped through your clothes, clinging to your skin, making you gasp at the sudden chill. Mark groaned, grabbing a napkin from the counter as you stood there, drenched, with a look of defiance still written across your face.
Undeterred, you tried to tilt the can toward your mouth, desperate to drink whatever was left inside, despite the mess. âCome on, y/n, youâre making this harder than it needs to be,â Mark sighed, exasperation laced in his tone as he managed to pry the can away for good this time.
The alcohol-soaked shirt clung to your body, the sticky sensation uncomfortable, but you were too far gone to care. The frustration bubbling inside wasnât going to be soothed by just a drink anymore. You were angry, angry at Belle, at Jeno, at the fact that you had let yourself feel anything at all.
Before you could make another move, a strong hand wrapped around your wrist, prying you away from the counter. You froze, looking up into the familiar dark eyes youâd been avoiding all night â Jeno.
The world felt like it stopped as Jeno glanced from you to Mark, his brows furrowed in mild concern. âHelp me out here, Jen. Sheâs had too much already, and she wonât listen to me,â Mark said, his voice weary but relieved that someone else could take over.
Jenoâs gaze softened as he looked down at your soaked shirt, a mixture of amusement and concern crossing his face. He let out a small sigh, his grip gentle but firm as he took the can from your hand and replaced it with a bottle of water. âYouâre done with the drinks for tonight, okay?â he said softly, his voice holding the same care youâd heard earlier.
Before you could protest, Jeno wrapped his arm around you, guiding you out of the kitchen, away from the noise and the eyes of your curious friends. The walk to your room was a blur, but the warmth of his hand on your waist kept you grounded, even as the alcohol swirled in your system.
The sight of Belle sobbing into someoneâs shoulder as you passed through the hallway barely registered in your hazy mind. You were too focused on the warmth of Jenoâs presence beside you, the way his touch lingered longer than necessary, as if he was anchoring you.
Once in your room, Jeno gently guided you to sit on the edge of your bed, his touch careful as if he was afraid you might fall over. His eyes roamed over your beer-soaked clothes, a soft chuckle escaping him. âYouâre a mess,â he teased, though his voice held no judgment. If anything, it was laced with concern, the kind of worry that felt warm and comforting instead of scolding.
You glanced down at yourself, wincing as you finally took in the state of your shirt. The beer stains were obvious now, dark patches clinging to the fabric and sticking to your skin in an uncomfortable way. You grimaced, the sticky sensation making you feel even more self-conscious. The alcohol had dulled the sharpness of your embarrassment, but not entirely. A faint blush crept up your cheeks as you mumbled, âI should changeâŚâ
You attempted to push yourself off the bed, but your limbs were heavy, sluggish from the alcohol coursing through your system. Your balance wavered, and you nearly stumbled forward before Jenoâs hand gently pressed on your shoulder, keeping you steady.
Without saying a word, he crossed the room to your closet, rummaging through the clothes until he found one of your oversized t-shirts. He walked back to you with that same quiet focus, kneeling down to your level, holding the clean shirt in his hands. His gaze met yours for a moment, and something in his expression made your heart skip a beat.
âHere,â Jeno said softly, his voice just above a whisper. âLet me help.â
Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers reached for the hem of your beer-stained shirt. He moved slowly, giving you plenty of time to object, to stop him. But you didnât. You couldnât. The closeness of him, the way his eyes held nothing but tenderness. It was like the rest of the world had disappeared, leaving just the two of you in this charged, intimate bubble.
Jenoâs hands were careful as he lifted the fabric, peeling it away from your sticky skin with a precision that made your pulse quicken. The cool air hit you, contrasting the warmth of his touch. Every time his fingers brushed your arms, it sent shivers through you. It wasnât overtly intimate, but the care he took in making sure you were comfortable made the moment feel far more meaningful than it should have.
Once your shirt was off, he handed you the fresh one, his eyes deliberately focused anywhere but your body, giving you the privacy to finish. You quickly pulled the oversized shirt over your head, feeling the soft cotton fabric glide down. Your cheeks burned, not from the alcohol, but from the way Jenoâs thoughtfulness had disarmed you, leaving your heart racing in its wake.
When you were finally settled in your clean shirt, Jeno took a step back, his hands awkwardly fumbling at his sides, unsure of what to do next. âBetter?â he asked, his voice quiet but sincere.
You nodded, not trusting your voice. The warmth pooling in your chest wasnât just from the remnants of alcohol, but from the way Jeno had cared for you, so gentle and attentive. The kindness in his actions made your emotions swirl even more intensely.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the air between you heavy with something unspoken. The room felt smaller with Jeno in it, the atmosphere charged with a new kind of tension. It wasnât uncomfortable though. If anything, it felt safe. Like he was there to make sure you were okay, to take care of you, in a way that made your heart feel lighter despite the whirlwind of the night.
Jenoâs eyes flicked from the bed to you, a soft concern still lacing his gaze. âYou should get some rest. Itâs been a long night.â
You climbed under the covers, feeling the exhaustion settling into your bones now that the noise of the party was long behind you. As you laid down, Jeno lingered by your side for a moment, his hand briefly brushing your shoulder before he moved to sit at your desk. His presence filled the room, grounding you in a way you hadnât expected.
âJeno?â your voice came out as a soft murmur, barely loud enough to reach him, but he turned to you right away.
âYeah?â
You hesitated for a moment before whispering, âThanks⌠for everything.â
A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips, the soft light in your room making his features look even kinder than usual. âGet some sleep, y/n. Iâll be here if you need anything.â
You closed your eyes for a brief second, trying to process what was happening. Jeno was in your room. The Jeno. The one who was always surrounded by friends, admired by so many. The same Jeno your best friend had been talking about for months, and the one you, slowly but surely, had found yourself falling for.
The alcohol still buzzed in your veins, loosening your inhibitions just enough to make you bolder than usual. This was your chance, maybe Mark had been right all along. Jeno was here, with you, taking care of you in ways that felt like more than just friendly concern. Maybe, just maybe, you werenât imagining the way he stayed close tonight, the way his eyes lingered a little longer.
It was now or never.
The air in the room felt heavy, thick with unspoken words and lingering tension. Jeno sat at your desk, his steady gaze unreadable as you shifted under the covers, a mix of nervousness and warmth blooming in your chest. The alcohol had numbed your inhibitions, but the electricity between you both was impossible to ignore.
You pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, trying to ground yourself in the fabric, though it did little to help. âItâs cold,â you mumbled, barely audible, your voice betraying the hint of vulnerability you didnât want to show. In truth, the room was a bit chilly, but more than anything, you longed for his presence next to you. The space between you felt far too wide, like an unspoken barrier you didnât know how to cross without risking everything.
Jenoâs eyes flickered toward you, his hesitation lingering in the silence that stretched between you. After a beat, he stood up from the desk, his movements slow and deliberate, as if carefully weighing each step. Your breath hitched as he approached, and your heart pounded in your chest, anticipation curling in your stomach.
Wordlessly, Jeno slid under the covers beside you, his warmth instantly chasing away the cold. His scent, a comforting mix of cologne and something undeniably him, wrapped around you, making your head spin. Instinctively, you leaned into him, your head finding its place against his chest. His arm moved naturally around you, pulling you closer, and you melted into the embrace, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek.
With Jenoâs warmth cocooning you, the outside world felt like a distant dream. The partyâs once-loud music had faded into a faint murmur, barely audible over the sound of his steady breathing. Every now and then, his breath grazed your hair, sending tiny shivers down your spine. You stayed perfectly still, afraid that even the slightest movement would break this fragile moment, this perfect stillness.
âIs it still cold?â Jenoâs voice was low, a gentle murmur that seemed to sink into your very bones.
A small smile tugged at your lips, and you pressed yourself closer to him, allowing the exhaustion of the night to wash over you. âNot anymore,â you whispered, your voice barely a breath. His arm tightened around you in response, as if silently saying that he wasnât going anywhere. That, even just for tonight, you had him.
The soft light from the bedside lamp cast a warm glow over the room, its dim shadows creating a cozy, intimate space that felt removed from reality. The world beyond your bedroom door seemed to slow, leaving only the two of you in this quiet bubble, suspended in time. You found yourself wishing that you could capture this feeling forever, keep this warmth and peace bottled up in your heart.
Jenoâs hand rested on your waist, his fingers moving in slow, absentminded circles over the fabric of your shirt. His touch was so gentle, so careful, that it sent little sparks dancing across your skin. It wasnât just the alcohol making you dizzy; it was the tenderness in every brush of his fingers, the way he held you like you were something delicate.
âYouâre always running around, taking care of everyone,â he murmured softly, his words carrying a weight that tugged at your heart. âWho takes care of you, y/n?â
His question hung in the air, the raw sincerity in his voice cutting through you. A lump formed in your throat, and you blinked rapidly to keep the sudden tears at bay. You hadnât expected him to say something like that. Who did take care of you? For as long as you could remember, you were the one who held everything together, the one who put everyone elseâs needs before your own. But in this moment, with Jenoâs arms wrapped around you, it felt like someone was finally seeing past all of thatâseeing you.
âI⌠I donât know,â you whispered, your voice trembling as you admitted the truth aloud. âI guess Iâm just used to it.â
Jeno shifted beside you, his body pressing closer, his breath now warm against your ear. âYou deserve more than that,â he said softly, his voice low and earnest, each word landing like a promise. âYou deserve someone whoâll take care of you, too.â
Tears pricked at your eyes, and you swallowed hard, trying to hold back the surge of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. His words felt too good, too perfect, and a part of you was afraid to believe them. Afraid to believe that someone like Jeno could really see you like that, could want to take care of you.
Still, in this moment, wrapped in his warmth, you allowed yourself to pretend â to imagine, if only for tonight, that this could be your reality. That Jeno could be yours.
His thumb traced another slow circle on your side, his touch so gentle it was almost hypnotic. âI donât want you to forget tonight,â he whispered, his voice even quieter now, like he was sharing a secret meant just for you.
You turned in his arms, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes locked with his. There was something in his gaze, something soft and unspoken, that made your heart race. His face was inches from yours, his breath warm on your skin, and for a brief moment, time seemed to stop altogether.
You swallowed, the words escaping you before you could think twice. âWhat if I do?â
For a moment, Jenoâs expression darkened, his gaze flicking down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. Then, in a movement so gentle it felt like a dream, he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours in a soft, lingering kiss. The contact sent a shiver through you, your whole body reacting to the warmth of his touch.
âThen Iâll remind you,â he murmured against your lips, his voice barely above a whisper.
The night blurred into a series of quiet moments. Soft touches, shared whispers, and a closeness that felt too tender, too fragile to belong to the real world. You could have stayed in that moment forever, tangled in Jenoâs warmth, pretending that the world outside didnât exist.
But, as always, reality had a way of creeping back in.
Jenoâs phone buzzed on the desk beside him, the soft vibrations shattering the stillness. He sighed, his arm loosening from around you as he reached for the phone, the glow of the screen illuminating his face. You watched as his brows furrowed, his expression tense as he scrolled through the dozens of missed calls and messages.
âShit,â he muttered, sitting up, his warmth slipping away from you entirely.
The cold rushed in immediately, filling the space where Jeno had been, and your heart sank. You knew what was coming next.
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked, already knowing the answer but dreading hearing it aloud.
Jeno ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the set of his jaw. âThe guys⌠Theyâve been calling me nonstop. I told them Iâd leave with them, theyâre my only ride home.â His voice was tinged with regret, but beneath it, you could sense the guilt.
You forced a smile, trying to mask the disappointment that was tightening in your chest. âItâs fine,â you lied, propping yourself up on your elbow. âYou should go.â
Jeno glanced down at his phone again, then back at you, his jaw tightening as he hesitated. âI donât want to leave you alone,â he said quietly, his voice thick with the conflict swirling inside him.
You shook your head, the ache in your chest growing. âIâll be okay,â you whispered, your words feeling hollow. âReally. Go.â
For a fleeting moment, you held onto the hope that Jeno might stay. The way he looked at you, his eyes searching your face with an intensity that made your heart race, felt like a promise unspoken. But then the phone buzzed again, shattering the delicate moment. You watched as his resolve shifted, the warmth in his gaze giving way to a distant sadness.
With a heavy sigh, he rose from the bed, the fabric of the moment tearing slightly as he slipped his phone into his pocket. The air around you felt colder, thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions, as if the very room held its breath. Just before he reached the door, he hesitated, turning back to you one last time. His eyes softened as they met yours, and he stepped back toward the bed, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your lips. It was soft and lingering, yet it carried the weight of finality.
âIâll see you on Monday,â he whispered, his breath brushing against your skin, leaving a warmth that contrasted the chill that enveloped you after he left.
And then, he was gone.
The weekend stretched endlessly, an expanse of silence that felt like an aching void where his presence had been. No calls. No texts. Just the stark absence of his warmth and the echo of the night you had shared. With each passing hour, the memory of Jenoâs embrace faded, leaving you alone with your swirling thoughts and an unsettling sense of regret.
You spent the next two days trapped in a loop of memories, replaying every moment over and over. The way he looked at you with such intensity, the way he held you close, the sincerity in his voice when he told you that you deserved better. You ached to reach out to him, to check if he still remembered the fleeting magic of that night. But every time you reached for your phone, a wave of fear stopped you cold. The thought of his response, what he might say or, worse, what he might not say, paralyzed you.
By the time Monday rolled around, you had convinced yourself that maybe it was better this way. Pretending nothing had happened would be the safest path. After all, he would slip back into his life with friends, back to the way things were before, and you would have to bear the weight of your choices alone.
As you stepped through the school doors, you immediately felt the weight of stares bearing down on you. Whispers trailed you down the hall like a shadow, and you quickly pieced together the rumors that had spread like wildfire. Word had gotten out about you and Jeno, and Belle had undoubtedly heard every detail.
It wasnât long before she found you. Standing by your locker, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, her glare twisted your stomach into knots.
âI canât believe you, Y/N,â Belle hissed, her voice sharp and full of venom. âYou promised me youâd be there for me. You said youâd help me with Jeno, and instead, youââ She cut herself off, her voice trembling with barely contained fury.
You swallowed hard, guilt and shame coiling tightly in your chest. âBelle, Iââ
âNo,â she interrupted, her eyes flashing with hurt. âDonât. Donât act like you didnât know. Everyoneâs talking about how you left the party together. You think I didnât see the way he looks at you?â
Your heart plummeted, a heavy weight in your stomach. You longed to explain, to articulate that it hadnât been what it looked like, that you hadnât intended for any of it to happen. But deep down, you knew the truth: you had crossed a line, and no amount of explanation would erase the breach of trust.
âI didnât mean for this to happen,â you whispered, your voice barely above a breath.
âItâs not fair. I was so close to having him, Y/N. I was right there, and then you had to ruin it for me.â Belleâs eyes glistened with unshed tears, but her expression hardened like ice. âYouâre a liar. You promised to help,â she spat coldly, turning away from you. âYouâre no better than the rest of them. Maybe you shouldâve tried harder not to ruin everything.â
And just like that, she walked away, leaving you with the sharp sting of her betrayal echoing in the silence behind her.
You stood there, frozen, as the world around you faded into a blurry haze of whispers and judgmental stares. The hallway stretched out longer than usual, each step feeling like an uphill battle against the suffocating air thick with unspoken words. You could almost see the rumours swirling like storm clouds, brewing around you as classmates shot knowing glances. Some gleeful, others disdainful, while they whispered behind your back, oblivious to the truth.
You made it through the day by shrinking into yourself, avoiding everyone as if they were fragments of glass waiting to cut you. Each laugh from a group nearby felt like a mockery, reminding you of how the moments you shared with Jeno now felt like scattered shards, impossible to clean up without inflicting wounds on your heart. Every time you caught a glimpse of him in the halls, your chest tightened as his eyes flicked toward you for just a fleeting second before looking away, as if that one shared night had evaporated into thin air. Maybe it had for him.
The days following that night passed under a strange, silent agreement between you and Jeno. Neither of you acknowledged what had happened. No messages. No lingering glances. No awkward conversations. It was as if you had both silently decided that pretending it hadnât meant anything was the easiest way to cope. But you couldn't shake the feeling that, to him, it truly hadnât.
At school, Jeno slipped seamlessly back into the rhythm of his life, surrounded by his friends, laughter pouring from their mouths as if nothing had changed. He blended effortlessly into the crowd of popular kids, exuding an air of confidence that was painfully absent in you. Later, you overheard snippets of their conversations, casual, dismissive remarks. âSheâs not worth it, man. You could do way better,â Haechan chuckled, as if your very existence was a punchline. Jeno merely shrugged, his indifference cutting deeper than any blade. âIt was nothing.â
The words pierced through your carefully constructed defences, more painful than you could have anticipated. They shouldnât have stung; after all, you had spent the entire weekend convincing yourself that you didnât care, that it was just a fleeting moment. But those three words echoed in your mind, a relentless mantra: It was nothing.
Still, you played your part. Whenever you passed him in the halls or found yourself near his group during lunch, you donned a mask of indifference so convincingly that you almost started to believe it yourself. You laughed with your other friends, pretended to focus in class, and convinced yourself that forgetting was the best option. You were adept at pretending, had to be, but that night continued to linger, haunting you like a bittersweet melody you couldn't silence.
The only person who seemed to peel back your façade was Mark. You never spoke about that night directly, but he could read between the lines. He noticed the way your gaze avoided Jeno, how your laughter felt forced, and how your smile no longer reached your eyes.
One afternoon, when the weight of everything felt too heavy to bear, you found yourself gravitating toward Mark. He sat on the grass at the edge of the soccer field, scribbling furiously in his notebook. You dropped down beside him, the warmth of the sun contrasting with the cold ache in your chest. He looked up, brow raised, but he didnât say anything right away, giving you space to breathe.
âI donât know what Iâm doing anymore,â you finally admitted, staring into the distance as the horizon blurred with your emotions.
Mark closed his notebook, shifting his full attention to you. âWant to talk about it?â
You shook your head, frustration bubbling inside you. âNot really. Just⌠everythingâs a mess.â
He didnât press you, but his unwavering gaze bore into you, his concern palpable. âYou donât have to pretend with me. I can tell youâre not okay.â
The tightness in your chest intensified at his words, and you forced a laugh that felt hollow. âItâs not a big deal. I barely even remember that night, anyway.â
Mark didnât buy it. He never did. âYou donât have to lie to me. But if you donât want to talk about it, thatâs okay too.â
The silence stretched between you, filled with all the unsaid things that hung heavy in the air. You stared at the ground, fighting the emotions that threatened to spill over.
âJeno didnât say anything, did he?â you asked, the question slipping out before you could hold it back.
Mark sighed, leaning back on his hands. âHeâs pretending it never happened, too. His friends⌠Well, theyâre being assholes, like always. Told him he could do better. You know how they are.â
You nodded, the weight of disappointment sinking deeper into your bones. Of course they would say that. Of course Jeno would follow their lead. It was easier to dismiss the connection you had shared, to act like you hadnât been wrapped up in each other, sharing warmth and vulnerability in a way that felt almost sacred.
Sensing your shift in mood, Mark nudged your shoulder lightly, offering a small smile. âLook, Iâm not gonna pretend to understand whatâs going on in Jenoâs head. But you deserve better than this, better than being some secret he feels like he has to hide.â
His words wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, yet they only amplified the ache in your heart. You wished it didnât hurt so much, wished you could just move on like Jeno seemed to. But the truth was, that night had meant something to you. Even if you shouldnât have felt that way, even if you tried to convince yourself otherwise, it did.
It wasnât just the gossip or the whispers that hurt; it was the entire situation. The reality that you had gotten swept up in something so fleeting, yet so consuming. You felt like you were living on a stage, where every move was scrutinised, turned into something larger than life. Belle, Jeno, his friends; they were all part of that act, and now, so were you. You thought back to the party, to the fragile intimacy you had shared with Jeno, the way you had intertwined your lives for a moment. But the harsh reality was that it hadnât been real. Not for him.
When you got home, you collapsed onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling, its familiar texture suddenly feeling foreign and oppressive. The quiet of your room suffocated you, amplifying the echoes of whispers and judgment that had followed you all day. It should have been a relief to escape the chaos, but instead, it was a stark reminder of how alone you felt. Gone were the masks and the laughter; all that remained was the haunting silence, thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
Your phone buzzed, and for a fleeting moment, hope flickered inside you. Maybe it was Jeno, maybe he finally had something to say, something that could bridge the chasm that had formed between you two. But as you glanced down, the screen illuminated a message from Mark instead.
Mark: How you holding up?
You stared at the words, the glow of the screen casting a pale light over your uncertainty. Mark had always been the one to see beyond your carefully constructed façade, the only person who didnât press for answers you werenât ready to give. His concern was palpable even through the digital barrier, but the weight of your own feelings made it hard to respond.
You: I donât know.
The reply felt painfully inadequate, a thin veil over the storm churning inside you. You tossed your phone aside, pulling your knees up to your chest, as if trying to protect your heart from the world outside. What did you even want at this point? Jeno wasnât coming back to fix things, and Belle was probably rehearsing her next round of accusations. You felt caught in a strange, uncomfortable limbo, yearning to forget while being unable to erase the vivid memories of that night.
In the days that followed, you had tried to convince yourself the night with Jeno was nothing more than a fleeting mistake, a moment spurred by alcohol and the warmth of the moment. But now, as the realization washed over you, it became painfully clear: you had wanted it to mean something more. You craved the way he looked at you that nightânot with the haze of drunken affection, but with something deeper, something that could fill the void you felt inside.
But he didnât. He never would.
You remained motionless on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, feeling the silence stretch around you like a shroud. Your phone buzzed again, probably Mark checking in, but you couldnât muster the energy to respond. The weight of your decisions pressed heavily on your chest, reminding you of the loss that had settled in your heart.
You had lost your best friend, sacrificed your bond with Belle for something ephemeral, and now, you were left to pick up the pieces alone. And maybe that was what hurt the most. The realization that in the end, none of it had felt real. Not the intimate moments shared with Jeno, not the friendship you had thought you could count on with Belle. Everything felt built on a shaky foundation, fragile and destined to crumble.
As you lay there, you reached for your phone, hoping to drown out the noise in your head with music. You scrolled through your playlist, searching for anything that could take you away from this moment. And then it started, the familiar notes of Crush Culture by Conan Gray filled the room, wrapping around you like a bittersweet embrace.
With each lyric, you felt a rush of recognition that hit you like a truck. Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out. The words resonated deeply, echoing the tumult of emotions swirling inside you. It was as if Conan had taken the scattered pieces of your heart and crafted them into a song, pulling at the very strings of your soul.
The lines about fleeting moments, unreciprocated feelings, and the pain of wanting something that was never truly yours surged through you. You closed your eyes, allowing the music to wash over you, each note igniting memories of that night with Jeno. The way he held you, the laughter you shared, the promises whispered in the dark. But with each line, the weight of reality crashed down harder, reminding you of the distance that had grown between you since then.
Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, the catharsis almost overwhelming as the song played on. You could feel every word burrowing into your heart, every melody capturing the longing you tried to hide. This wasnât just about Jeno; it was about everything you had lost, everything you had poured into moments that turned out to be nothing but illusions.
And in that moment, you felt a fragile clarity. You might be lost now, but you wouldnât stay that way forever. The lyrics continued to echo around you, each syllable a promise that you would find a way through the pain, that you could reclaim your voice, your heart, and maybe, just maybe, discover what it meant to feel whole again.
As the song faded into silence, you lay back against your pillows, allowing the tears to flow freely. It was time to face the truth, to embrace the chaos of your emotions, and to start piecing together a new beginning. And with that thought, you closed your eyes, a flicker of hope igniting within you. A hope that lingered long after the last notes faded away.
#im so sick rn lol#nct#nct dream#jeno#nct jeno#lee jeno#jeno x reader#jeno x y/n#jeno x you#jeno imagines#jeno fluff#jeno angst#jeno oneshot#jeno scenarios#nct x reader#nct x y/n#nct x you#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#nct oneshot#nct scenarios#nct dream x you#nct dream x reader#nct dream x y/n#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct dream imagines#nct dream oneshot#nct dream scenarios
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crampy | k.s.
summary: when your period come suddenly and you have to cancel plans, seungmin is there to help you through the pain.
wc: 1.5k
warnings: descriptions of period cramps, crying, seungmin being a mushy bean for his partner, i think this is p much gn!reader besides the period but please let me know if i missed anything!!
a/n: happy birthday mong mong!! a self indulgent fic but for my favorite puppy <33 i hope you all enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3
my library | fundraiser
(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)
you didnât know what else to do.
youâve tried every trick you could think of but nothing would stop the searing pain in your pelvis. every month without fail you were bed ridden for at least 2 days, curled up in pain, unable to move.
youâre starving with simultaneously no appetite because of the pain. however this time felt worse, this time you were supposed to go out with seungmin and the rest of his members but everytime you moved you were immediately met with pain.
cutting your losses you just curled up with your heating pad and grabbed your phone. you send seungmin a quick text telling him you couldnât make it and to tell the boys you were sorry.
after that another cramp hit, it felt like someone had grabbed your insides and squeezed as hard as they could. you let out a yelp as the pain only worsened, sobbing out in pure agony.
you were mostly crying because of the pain but you also felt horrible for canceling on your boyfriend and his friends. the pain mixing with the guilt only made you sob harder.
unbeknownst to you, seungmin was on his way to your place, something about your text sounded off. he didnât know what it was but something in his gut told him he needed to go to you, so he did.
once he opened the door he was met with the sounds of your cries. alarm bells immediately went off in his head as he quickly locked the door, tossing his shoes and bag to the side, running to your room.
he found you curled in a ball, facing the door, eyes closed as heartbreaking sobs leave your mouth. he quickly made his way to your bed, kneeling on the floor in front of you before placing a hand on your shoulder.
you gasp in surprise, eyes wide as they shoot open. âitâs just me, itâs just me, iâm sorry.â he quickly says, holding his hands up in surrender.
once your brain registers the familiar man in front of you, you feel the lump form in your throat once more. your hands come up to cover your face as the tears flow down your cheeks.
âiâm sorry, iâm sorryâ you sob, your breathing choppy as you speak. âhey, hey,â he says softly, moving your hands with one, gently wiping your tears with the other.
âitâs okay pup, whatâs going on hm?â your lip wobbles once again, reminded of the pain. âi- ah!â you start, just in time for another wave of pain. you curl into yourself, bringing your arm to press the hot pad even further onto your skin.
âokay, i understand bubs,â he moves to sit on your bed, placing one arm over the one on your stomach, the other on your head, softly stroking your forehead. he places a kiss to your temple, shushing you softly, âitâs okay, youâre okay, breathe pup, breathe.â
you take shakey deep breath, exhaling after a few seconds. you both sit there for a while, letting your breath even out before either of you spoke. âiâm sorry.â you whimper, pulling away to look at him.
your bottom lip jutting out as a fresh wave of tears rolls down your face. he places a hand on your cheek, gently brushing away the fresh tears, shushing you. âstop apologizing bub,â he leans down, placing a kiss to your hair. âyou have nothing to be sorry for.â you shake your head, new tears following the old.
âi got my period, and itâs really bad and i was trying to suck it up and come i promise but it was really fucking bad seung, it just-â you were rambling and losing your breath, starting to hyperventilate.
âsh, sh, itâs okay pup, breathe,â he leans back slightly, âscoot over a bit.â he gently requests, making sure the heating pad stayed on your abdomen.
once a little space was created, he slides into your bed, pulling you into him. âokay, my bub, just relax, everythingâs okay, no oneâs upset, okay?â you sniffle, catching your breath a bit. âpromise?â your voice small as you ask.
âi promise, we were all just concerned, and wanted to make sure you were okay.â he reassures, rubbing soothing circles on your back. you nod, turning into his chest, melting into him, just crying for a few minutes until you felt better.
you shift, laying your face against his chest as he continues rubbing your back. âdid you take medicine or eat?â you shake your head, drawing figures on his tummy.
âdo you have medicine?â you nod your head, pointing to the bathroom. âin the medicine cabinet, second shelf to the left.â he nods, placing a kiss to your head before standing. âiâll
be quick.â he whispers, quickly making his way to the attached room.
he comes back out holding the familiar bottle, placing it on your bedside table. he pulls out his phone before smoothly moving back to his previous spot. âokay iâm gonna order us some ramen so you can eat and then take some medicine, how does that sound hm?â he asks, already opening his delivery app.
if you had any more tears left youâd be sobbing again but youâre fresh out. instead you nod, placing a kiss to his peck, âthank you pup.â you whisper cuddling back into him.
he smiles looking down at you before placing a kiss to your hair once more. âanything for you bubs.â he goes back to
work, ordering his ramen and your usual before placing his phone down, snuggling into you.
âonce the ramen comes and you eat a bit iâll give you some medicine, but when we finish eating do you wanna sleep or take a bath?â you think about it for a moment before coming to a decision.
âsleep, iâm exhausted.â he nods, rubbing your arm, âokay we can do that, and then if you want a bath when you wake up we can do that too okay?â you nod before turning your head, placing a kiss to this peck.
âthank you baby, i donât know what iâd do without you.â you wrap your arms around him, wincing as another cramp spreads pain through your body. âah.â you cry, shoving your face back into his chest.
he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him, âokay bubs, i ordered it so hopefully itâll be here soon and then you can eat take medicine and go to sleep.â
you nod, pressing your face further into him, trying to calm yourself. he starts humming, hoping to put you at ease with his voice. once he feels you relaxing into him he starts singing softly, letting you focus on his voice rather than the pain.
you ended up falling asleep before the food comes, waking up to see a dim light and seungmin bringing in the food. he sets it on the table before looking over seeing you smiling sleepily at him.
âhi bubs, you ready to eat?â he asks as he sits on the bed next to you, carefully brushing your hair out of your face. you nod, sitting up carefully as he prepares your ramen on the table next to your bed.
once you were sitting up, he hands you the bowl, âcareful, itâs hot.â you nod, carefully taking the bowl before he grabs a pillow, making sure the heating pad is placed properly before placing the pillow on your lap.
âthank you, bubba.â you smile to him, before he leans down to place a soft kiss to your lips. âyouâre welcome, pup.â he says against your lips before sitting down, handing you your chopsticks.
he makes his ramen as well and both of you eat in silence. once finished he grabs your trash putting it in the take out bag it came in, leaving to put it in the trash.
he comes back with two bottles of water, placing them both on the table before opening the bottle of medicine, handing you 2 pills. he places them in your hand, opening one of the waters, handing that to you as you place the pills in your mouth.
you take a gulp of water, swallowing the medicine before taking a couple extra sips before handing the bottle back to him. âthank you.â you whisper, scooting over to give him more room as he places the bottle down.
âyouâre welcome, bubs.â he says, leaning over to place a kiss on your head. he quickly gets up to turn off the light before climbing into bed with you. he opens his arms, allowing you to lay against him.
once in his arms, he wraps them around you, kissing your face all over. you giggle as he does this before eventually he stops, not wanting to make your cramps worse. you relax into him, melting further into his embrace.
âis you heating pad okay?â you nod against him, a yawn leaving your lips. âgood, sweet dreams pup, i love you.â he whispers, placing one last kiss to your head. âgood night bubba, love you too.â you mumble before both of you drift off into each otherâs arms.
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#seungmin#kim seungmin#kim seungmin fic#kim seungmin imagine#kim seungmin fluff#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin drabble#kim seungmin oneshot#seungmin fic#seungmin fluff#seungmin imagine#seungmin x reader#seungmin drabble#stray kids#stray kids drabble#stray kids oneshot#stray kids one shot#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagine#ash's archive â§âËâŠĺ˝Ą
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I love anything strangers to lovers with James, something with him maybe coming to a muggle pub with the guys and coming over to talk to you, trying to be all suave but entirely relying on everything muggle studies has taught him and like mixing weird things up but heâs still so endearing you kinda donât care
ty for requestingâ¤ď¸
James is holding Remusâ hand when he sees you. Theyâre being touchy and weird because thereâs nobody around to see it but strangers, aware that itâs a little too touchy but uncaring. The drinks theyâve had makes it less overly friendly and more this man is my best friend in the whole world.Â
He sees you and abruptly drops Remusâ hand.Â
âJames,â Remus says, pulling his hand back.Â
âSorry, butâ but look!â He gestures to you, leaning down as though this might stop you seeing him before heâs ready.Â
Youâre really something. In a group of friends two tables and what looks like fifteen chairs, too many bodies, youâre hanging back with your glass held to your chest, giggling at someoneâs loud joke. Youâre so pretty James feels it in his chest, like woah! Like, he has to talk to you. Maybe itâs the way youâre smiling as you laugh, he loves it.Â
The longer he looks, the more convinced he becomes.Â
âWhat are we looking at?â Sirius asks, back at the table with a new drink.Â
Remus quickly takes it. âItâs who are we looking at,â he corrects. âThereâs a girl over there James likes the look of.âÂ
âSheâs gorgeous. Iâm going.âÂ
Neither friend tries to stop him. James isnât drunk nor stupid, and heâs not a bad flirt. Not that every girl he tries to talk to wants to talk back, but he isnât disrespectful or grim.Â
He tries not to overthink it.Â
âHi, ladies,â he says, directing his hello to your little gaggle off the main group. You sit between two other women, all smiling politely as he speaks up. âWhat are you guys doing out tonight?âÂ
âItâs my birthday,â you say.Â
âIt is?â he asks, surprised. âHappy birthday! You arenât wearing a badge?âÂ
âItâll poke holes in my shirt.âÂ
He nods solemnly. âWell, never mind it. Are you having a good night?âÂ
âI would be, if the person feeding the jukebox would stop playing Bee Geeâs,â you say.Â
Feeding the jukebox, James repeats in his head. He looks around for some sort of animal but doesnât find one, nor does he spot any games of Bee Geeâs. âPeople are terrible pet owners these days,â he says.Â
You laugh like a riot, so he mustâve said something right. âOnly an animal would play disco!â you agree, standing up suddenly. âI need another drink. Are you coming with me, or did you fancy someone else?âÂ
James grins. âIâm coming with you, please.âÂ
He sees the little twitch on your smile that shows youâre pleased; you arenât as confident as youâre trying to appear, and your question had been a brave one. James will try to reward your courage.Â
âDo you come here often?â he asks, following you through tight tables and down a step to the bar.Â
âOnly on birthdays.â You grin as he shields you from a passerby. âWhat about you?âÂ
âHere? Never in my life! Itâs quaint though, I love the taps and the posters and the pork scratchings!â
âThey donât have pork scratchings at home? Where are you from?âÂ
He shrugs. âSomewhere awful. They donât have birthday girls half as pretty as you are back there. Did you get anything nice for your struggle?âÂ
âWhat, the struggle of getting older?â You lift your chin. âDo I look like Iâve struggled? In ageing?âÂ
âYou look like youâve been deprived of a drink. Whatâs your favourite?âÂ
âCan you guess?âÂ
James slows with you, just shy of the bar. What a peculiar thing to ask. Maybe muggles play this game, maybe this is a flirting ritual. James chooses the prettiest drink for a nice looking girl. âA French seventy five,â he suggests.Â
âWhatâs that?âÂ
âGin and champagne, mostly.âÂ
âI donât know about that one.âÂ
James grins. âA cherry spritzer, then. Ice, a little sugar, cherries on the rim. You look like you like cherries.âÂ
James buys you a cherry spritzer with extra cherries âitâs your birthday. You say thank you twice and sip it at the bar as he nurses a cold dark thatchers, your elbows touching. James briefly notes how you compliment one another in the mirror above the wines. He tries to catch your eye in it, but gets distracted when the TV box above it changes colour.Â
âDo you watch the football?â you ask, noticing his gaze.Â
âOh, yeah. Love football. Weird shape for a ball, but. Do you like it?âÂ
You take a second to answer, âWell, what about rugby?âÂ
Heâs more familiar with rugby, they talked a great deal about it in muggle studies. âI love rugby! All the scrums and scrimmages.â
âDo you play?âÂ
âUm, no.âÂ
âWell, you must play something.âÂ
âAre you flirting with me?â he jokes.Â
âYou look active!âÂ
âWhat do you like?â he asks, happy to change the subject and learn more about you at the same time.Â
âI like lots of stuff, mostly books. Oh, I like karaoke,â you say. âIâm not very good.âÂ
James knows what karaoke is. âI bet you are. Itâs about patience, right? Filling in all those little boxes. I canât get behind the numbers part, Iâm terrible at arithmetic.âÂ
You look at him like heâs grown two heads. You donât mean to, he can tell, because your expression immediately clouds with guilt, and then something kinder. He likes fondness on you, and he loves for it to be directed at him.Â
âIâm terrible at maths, too,â you say, smiling, nearly shy. âDo you want to get a table with me?â
âDid I say something wrong, before?âÂ
âNo, I donât think so.âÂ
Itâs much later with his hand behind your neck when he realises the numbers game is sudoku, not karaoke. He laughs against your open mouth. You ask him whatâs so funny, but the warmth of your breath on his lips has him forgetting.
(James was a tad weird, you think that night, his phone number on the back of one of your birthday cards and your lips still fizzing, but heâd been earnest even in kissing, and for that you canât complain.)
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter imagine#james potter fanfic#james potter fanfiction#james potter scenario#james potter oneshot#the marauders#marauders era#marauders
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Just Like Candy (M)
She's just like candy, she's so sweet
But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry
đ candy - doja cat (spotify | soundcloud) đ
⢠Pairing: S.Coups x (F)Reader
⢠Genre: Non-Idol!AU, Strangers to Lovers, Angst, Smut
⢠Rating: 18+
⢠Words: 7.3k
⢠Summary: Following a breakup, Seungcheol is looking for a distraction for the night. You catch his eye with your red lips and the rest is history.
⢠Warnings/themes: mentions of a breakup, sulky Cheol đĽ˛, his friends are real ones, drinking, swearing, one night stand, flirting, making out, dirty talk, handjobs, fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), c*me swallowing, strength kink, manhandling, hint of begging, OCâs lips are often compared to đ
⢠Notes: Welp, here it is; my first Cheol fic! I didn't plan to take this long to finish, but between work, getting sick and my bestie's birthday, ya girl has been busyyy 𼲠but here he is, so enjoy! đ much thanks to @hobeemin for the beta! đ
Seungcheol was barely paying attention to his friends' conversation, trying desperately not to go onto his exâs Instagram and check her recent stories. But every time his thumb hovers over the multi-colored circle with her smiling face, the recent events play through his mind. It leaves a bitterness on his tongue, which ends up with him closing the app for what must have been the fifth time.
âHyung, get off of there.â
He looked up to see Wonwoo giving him a stare of sternness mixed with worry, feeling sheepish that he was caught red-handed. Then again, he must have noticed earlier and only chose to say something now.
âSorry.â
Wonwoo sighed, leaning in and speaking lowly, âIf you keep going on there, Iâm going to confiscate your phone.â
Seungcheolâs brows knitted at the warning.
âAnd what if someone tries to reach me?â
âThen Iâll give it back, but until then, you wonât have phone privileges.â
He couldnât help but click his tongue. As annoying as the threat was, he secretly appreciated Wonwooâs way of keeping him from doing something he might regret, like reaching out to his ex less than two weeks later rather than continuing to play it cool.
It wasnât heartbreak, per se, just a loss of familiarity and a routine that bothered him. He was used to checking up on her at certain times, often receiving the same energy back. Plus, the lack of cuddling and deficiency of sex was about to start making him restless.
He appreciated the tough love because the rest of the men in the car showed their support by dragging him to an unruly house party that he wasnât even sure heâd enjoy.
âYah, is he on his phone again?â
Wonwoo replied to Seungkwanâs question from the front with, âHe sure is.â
Every other occupant groaned in exasperation, Chan peering around him to scold, âSeungcheol-hyung, focus! Youâre supposed to have fun with us tonight, not pine over her!â
âJust block her already!â
Seungcheol quickly snapped at Joshuaâs quip, âNo, because then Iâll look bitter.â
âSo?â
Seungkwan turned around in the passenger seat to look directly at him, seeming to be about to give the most unhelpful advice ever.
âHyung, you want my suggestion?â
âNo.â
âToo bad. Fuck her feelings, respectfullyââ He was quick to throw in that word after the elderâs face began twisting in displeasure. ââshe decided to end it, and sheâs out there living her best life while youâre moping around. Be selfish for once and focus on your well-being!â
Chan joined in, âExactly! Are you going to let her distract you from having a good time with us tonight?â
The eldest wanted to fight back on instinct, but the more he stewed on his friendsâ words, the more he realized they had a point. What was the use of getting in his feelings? Heâd just end up being the downer of the group and waste the effort they put in to have him get dressed and come out. Even though it had been a while since he went to a party of this size, the tiniest part of him was excited. His ex was the type to avoid get-togethers like this, so he often put off the guysâ invites in favor of pleasing her.
But she wasnât around anymoreâŚ
He sighed heavily. Hopefully, heâd be distracted enough that she wouldnât run through his mind until he returned to his bed and deleted more of their couple pictures.
âNo, Iâm not.â
His response was met with a round of cheers, drowning out the hip-hop blaring from the speakers.
âThatâs the spirit!â
Joshua took advantage of the red light to turn and shoot a proud smile.
âWe just want you to have fun, yeah? So quit sulking.â
Seungcheol did himself no favors by narrowing his eyes and pushing his lower lip out.
âIâm not sulking.â
As expected, Joshua gave an eye roll amidst the chorus of laughter, turning back around to continue driving. Seungcheol decided to get more involved in the conversation for the rest of the trip, only glancing at his phone for notifications. Not once did he hop onto Instagram, choosing to entertain a heated debate over who would be the first casualty tonight. His money was on Seungkwan, who fought against the accusation with insistence.
Either way, he hoped his friends continued to distract him for the rest of the night like this.
The plan to distract Seungcheol was going poorly. Actually, no. Poorly was an understatement.
It was going horrendously.
Everything was fine when they stepped into the party. It was easy to get accustomed to the noise and the crowd of bodies, especially once a red cup was shoved into his hand. One of his favorite songs was even playing, his foot automatically tapping to the beat while listening to Joshua and Chan converse.
But it went horribly awry when a drunk Seokmin and Soonyoung bounded up to them, asking where his other half was.
His reaction was as instantaneous as his friendsâ, yet more subtle. Seungcheol tensed up and clenched his jaw, fingertips making a dent in the plastic cup. Of course, the duo was too far gone to see his sudden change in mood; they only blinked in confusion when Seungkwan began yelling at them for their goof. Just as Wonwoo started explaining why their greeting was poorly thought out, the eldest quickly excused himself, turning and making a beeline for the much less crowded kitchen.
He wasnât sure if he needed something more substantial to drink or to remove himself from a messy situation. Either way, he ended up staring blankly into the icy assortment of beers in front of one of the many coolers.
So much for distracting himself tonight.
âExcuse me?â
A steady voice brought him out of his wallowing, looking over his shoulder to see a young woman standing behind him, pointing to the cooler.
âMind if I get in there?â
âO-Oh. Sorry.â
Seungcheol swiftly stepped aside, feeling a bit abashed at getting in the way. You didnât seem to mind too much though, sending a smile as you squatted down to begin rummaging through your options.
âIndecisive?â
He blinked at your query.
âHuh?â
You continued speaking while rifling through, âYou were staring down here for a hot minute.â
Oh shit, was he? Damn. He must have looked like a party pooper, no doubt sulking as he tried to get himself back into a festive mood.
âUh, yes, letâs call it thatâŚâ
A giggle escaped at the unconvincing reply. Within a few seconds, you popped back up with two different-looking bottles in each hand.
âAre you more of a fruity or bitter kind of guy?â
âBitter.â
You held out one of the beers, waiting until he took it with a bit of confusion mixed with gratitude.
âThank youâŚâ
âOf course. You look like you need it.â
Seungcheol huffed, shoulders sagging a bit as he smiled pensively.
âThat bad, huh?â
A nod was given, albeit paired with a sympathetic look.
âYeah.â
He sighed at your observation, the urge to crawl away and hide in a corner until the party ended coming strong. This was another thing he wanted to avoid: the pity people would give him. In the words of Chan, he looked like a lost puppy whenever he caught him thinking about his ex. Surely, thatâs what you were reminded of as you continued to gaze up at him.
âMy friends dragged me here to distract me fromâŚrecent events, but I donât think itâs working very well.â
âI can see that. I rarely see people not enjoying themselves at one of Seokminâs parties.â
Your words might have had sincerity, but Seungcheol could only feel more insecure. He stuck out like a sore thumb; that was the last thing he wanted to happen tonight.
Just as he was about to excuse himself to wallow in misery, you asked something that caught him off-guard.
âWanna talk about it?â
Seungcheol couldnât help but blink rapidly, ensuring he didnât mishear you.
A complete stranger offering an ear?
âNo, I couldnât burden you; Iâm sure you came to have fun.â
But you were undeterred, shrugging nonchalantly.
âItâs fine, really. I could use some quiet timeââ You grinned without an ounce of regret. ââand sometimes itâs good to have a strangerâs ear, no?â
WellâŚyou werenât wrong. Although Seungcheol wasnât expecting to find a willing participant at a house party, of all places. But you seemed eager to help, and God knows his friends have probably heard enough of his lamenting by now.
A shrug of his shoulders was followed by, âIf youâre offering, sure.â
Your smile stretched even wider at his approval, reaching for his free hand with your own before leading him to the sliding glass doors on the other side of the room.
âStep into my office.â
âLet me guessâŚa breakup?â
Straight to the point.
âYeah.â
âHow long?â
He needed to take a swig to answer this.
âTwo years.â
It was no surprise to see a grimace on your face.
âYikes. My condolences.â
Seungcheol wasnât sure if he tried to ease you or himself with the comforting smile he gave.
âThank you, but breakups happen all the time. Iâll be over it soon.â
âDoesnât mean it doesnât suck right now. Nothing wrong with wallowing in misery.â
He scoffed lightly, âTrust me, Iâve been doing more than enough of that.â
You hummed, seeming to understand.
âSo was she âthe oneâ?â
Seungcheol paused in raising his beer bottle, thick brows scrunching as he took a few seconds to ponder before shaking his head.
âNo, I wouldnât say that. It was serious, but not that serious.â
You nodded, yet there was a bout of silence afterward while he stewed on how to express his feelings since the first night his former girlfriend removed her possessions from his place.
âI think itâsâŚlike something is missing. Like I was so used to having her around and there to talk to or spend time with, it feels off.â
âYou got comfortable.â
Seungcheol continued, âI did. And now sheâs not here anymore.â
Saying this admission out loud pulled the deepest of sighs from his lungs.
âItâs just going to take some getting used to.â
âBut youâll be okayâŚone day.â
Your sincerity in tone made his head turn, and he saw you gazing at him with something akin to optimism.
âIt might not be tomorrow. Might not be next week. But itâll get easier one day and youâll be able to think about her without feeling like youâre missing out. Trust meââ The way your mouth quirked humorlessly on one side as you glanced through the window spoke volumes. ââI know.â
Seungcheol watched as your eyes lingered on the house, seeming to allude to a specific person. He couldnât help but turn to see if he could figure it out. His answer was received when he spotted a handsome man with cropped black hair getting close to a giggling woman. Sure enough, the look in your eyes was close to what he had expressed lately.
No wonder you offered to hear him out.
âIâm sorry.â
His words broke your trance, turning back to blink rapidly before chuckling.
âThank you, but it was for the best. He wasnât exactly the most faithful.â
Seungcheol frowned. âOuch.â
âMhm. Well, it is what it is. Now weâre free to fool around with whoever we want, so everyone wins!â
He couldnât hold back a small laugh at your exuberant claim.
âYou have a point.â
The grin you directed at him made his own wider. He didnât expect a stranger to ease the trouble brewing inside tonight, but your perspective on the situation was refreshing. If anything, his determination to enjoy the party to the fullest returned. You probably wanted to get back to whatever you were doing before, tooâŚ
âThank you for offering your ear. Iâm sure you want to return to the party now, right?â
Just as Seungcheol started shifting to stand up, you held up your free hand to halt him.
âI donât mind hanging with you some more. My friends are kind of bouncing around and doing their own thing, but if you want to go to yours, Iâll let you go.â
âŚbut did he want to go to them?
âIâŚHonestly, Iâm not in a rush, but please donât feel obligated to stick around.â
Your expression shifted into one of ease.
âNo obligation on my end. I kind ofâŚwant to keep talking to you.â
Seungcheolâs dark eyes widened at your admission, taken off-guard. âYou do?â
âMhm. You seem cool, uhââ
Right. Neither of you had given your names.
âSeungcheol.â
You quickly clasp the hand he held out, shaking it with a smile.
âY/N.â
Your hold lingered for a bit, fingers dragging along his own when you finally released, making the tiniest of tugs occur in his stomach. He couldnât help but be a little excited that you wanted to keep talking to him, expecting to go your separate ways after he vented. The mutual feeling gave him a burst of emotion that needed an outlet, excusing himself to grab another beer for the both of you.
Your ex was still in the kitchen, tongue now tangled with the other woman. Seungcheol couldnât help but scrunch his nose a little at the sight, mainly thanks to what you had told him earlier. But he fought against the urge to toss an ice cube from the cooler at his head and left with a bottle in each hand, giving one to you as soon as he returned.
âThank you!â Once he got back in his seat, you held your drink up in the air. âTo a fun night! Oh, and fuck our exes.â
Seungcheol laughed at your ad-lib, joining in by tapping his bottle against yours. The two of you moved onto much lighter topics, getting to know each other while sitting on the quiet patio. You were better acquainted with the party host than he was, mentioning how you tended to attend most of Seokminâs get-togethers. He wondered if he had ever passed by you before or vice versa; a shame it took this long to meet.
At some point, the gap between your bodies had dwindled, knees bumping into each other as you showed off pictures of your pets. The way you cooed and had stars in your eyes as he scrolled through his endless gallery of Kkuma pics didnât fail to warm his heart. And seeing how your chest puffed while bragging about your own fur baby only made it worse.
But then the phones went down and the mood shifted eventually.
The alcohol and good conversation led to Seungcheol noticing little things about you. Like how you rubbed your collarbones whenever you were deep in thought. Or that you kept grabbing onto his thick forearm each time you wanted to emphasize your words, eyes wide and determined for them to sink in. He didnât mind the touch at all, but it started encroaching into dangerous territory when he began focusing on your mouth a little too hard.
He wasnât sure if it was the shape of your lips or how the thick gloss sat on them, but looking at them reminded him of cherries. Trying to ensure he responded to your words was becoming difficult by the minute, fighting the urge to lean down and sink his teeth in. It didnât help whenever the lusciousness parted and showed off pearly whites and hints of tongue.
âSeungcheol.â
Out of nowhere, you called his name, making him jump as he tried to act like he wasnât hardcore staring at your lips.
âYes?â
The cherries tilted upwards as a hand came up and gently tapped a knuckle against his exposed forehead.
âWhatâs going on in that pretty head of yours?â
Your compliment and touch only made his cheeks flare, mouth parting as he prepared to express himself in a way that wasnât corny or desperate.
âYour lips are gorgeous.â
So much for that.
But you seemed to be pleasantly surprised at his admission, grinning wider as you tucked a hair behind your ear.
âYeah? Thank you, but I canât help but feel like thatâs not allâŚâ
Seungcheol swallowed hard as you challenged him, wanting to know precisely what he had running through his mind.
âI want to kiss you right now.â
Confidence was more present this time, watching your head tilted in thinly veiled curiosity.
âOh?â A foot came up and caressed his ankle as you continued, âWhatâs stopping you?â
Well, he wasnât the type to just go in for something like that without asking first, soâ
âDo you want me to kiss you?â
You looked out into the backyard, humming as you pretended to be thinking deeply about your answer, even though the rubbing sensation on his leg hinted at it.
âMmâŚyeah, I doââ Finally, your eyes landed on his again, a sparkle in them that wasnât there before. âmaybe I want more than that.â
Seungcheol felt a heat building inside that had been dormant for too long. This interaction was going in a completely unplanned direction, but surprisingly, he didnât find himself against it.
âDoâŚdo you?â
The nod you gave had zero shame and hesitation behind it.
Ah. Well. There wasnât any room for confusion, but he had to get this out.
âIâm not looking for anything serious, Iââ
But you halted him by putting your finger on his lips.
âI know. Neither am I. Weâre just distracting each otherââ A simple smile. ââright?â
Thank goodness you were on the same page.
âRight.â
Pleased with that, you removed your finger before standing up, setting your empty bottle on the nearby table. You then held your hand out, waiting until Seungcheol took it and stood up, following close as you led him back inside the house. The two of you had to zigzag through the crowd, narrowly avoiding dancing bodies. Finally, the stairs were within reach, increasing his heart as you guided him. He looked back into the crowd, barely catching a glimpse of his friends before you continued to pull him out of sight.
When they realized he disappeared, there was definitely going to be some severe questioning later on.
You led him into one of the bedrooms, making sure there were no unwelcome occupants first. When Seungcheol pulled the door in behind him, you quickly spun around, directing the coyest of looks up.
âYou might want to lock it; Iâd hate for us to get interrupted.â
Realizing that you had a point, he swiftly turned the lock sideways, finding the act and noise a little more comforting. Being walked in on was never fun, especially when you were fooling around in a strangerâs bed.
As soon as he finished, you reached for his hands before stepping back to stand in front of the queen-sized bed in the middle of the room.
âLast chance to back out.â
Seungcheol couldnât help but knit his brows a bit as he pondered. Was he really about to fool around with a complete stranger?
This was out of character for him. Even when he was single, getting in bed with someone he had only known for a couple of hours was a thought he never entertained. But this was now and he was, to put it lightly, yearning for some physical contact that would keep him distracted for the night.
And quite frankly, he didnât want to say no to you.
âSeungcheol?â
The light call of his name brought him out of his thoughts, looking down to see you gazing up with mild concern.
âYou alright?â
He was quick to nod and smile reassuringly, replying, âYes. Sorry, justâŚgot in my head for a bit.â
Your expression eased up, tongue clicking as you squeezed his hands.
âWell, we canât have any more of that. Câmon.â
You maneuvered Seungcheol around so his back was facing the bed now.
âQuit thinking about your ex and focus.â
âBelieve me, Iâm trying. I might need a little more help on your end.â
His voice hints at encouragement, shifting you into a more domineering mood. Your cherry lips twist into an undaunted grin as you let go of his hands.
âOf course. Even if itâs for a momentââ All of a sudden, he felt a push to his chest and found himself falling to the bed before looking up at your salacious smile. ââIâll make you forget all about her.â
You crawled up and on to straddle his lap, making his breath hitch at the intimate contact. With your palms planted next to his head, you shot him a wicked ruby smile before leaning down to place your lips on his own. The kiss is quick to build back up whatever arousal he had lost on the way here, helped by the way your hips started ever so slowly to grind down. Youâre in a perfect position to have your clothed center on top of his concealed cock, each ounce of friction awakening it.
Moans started to fill the dim room with each second that passed. Seungcheol found himself hesitating to lay his hands on you, too used to having them on another body instead. But then his brain was quick to remind him that there was no need to hold back.
And so he rested his palms on your waist, playing it safe for now.
But you didnât let him remain stationary for long, breaking the kiss to place your hands on top of his and whisper, âDonât be shy.â
The encouragement was a helpful trigger, fingers roaming your body as soon as you let go. He carefully ran them up and down the curves of your waist before taking a chance and moving them to the front and upwards. A quick glance was given to your face as he went and cupped your covered breasts, biting his lip at the soft sound you made. Giving a light squeeze earned him a louder noise and a roll of your hips.
âKnew your hands would feel niceâŚâ
Your husky whisper only spurred him on, sliding one of his hands back down and around to give your bottom the same attention.
âDid you?â
âMhmââ A firmer grope interrupted your sentence. ââkept staring while you were holding your beer.â
Seungcheol chuckled lightly at your admission, glad he wasnât the only one fixating on mundane body parts. You allowed him to continue feeling your body, dipping down for an occasional kiss, only to halt him eventually. When his brows furrowed in confusion, your red lips curled as you moved down to sit on his thighs.
âI have to get my hands on you ASAP.â
There was no objection on his end as he removed his hands, letting them rest to the side as you got a feel of him. The heat of your skin penetrating his shirt brought a welcome warmth to his veins. He almost forgot what it felt like to be touched by another, feeling like it had been way too long. Before the relationship ended, he had gone a few weeks without being intimate. Only now was he realizing how badly he needed this.
You ventured downwards, nudging the hem of his tee up until a sliver of stomach and his belt buckle showed. A tap above his waistband brought his eyes to yours.
âYou still sure about this?â
Seungcheol blinked at you checking in, not expecting it. But it was much appreciated, even though his answer was stillâ
âYeah.â
That was all you needed to continue, smirking as you started to work on loosening the belt. It didnât take long for you to get through to undo his fly, making his heart pound hard enough to rupture his eardrums nearly. It takes a good amount of self-control for Seungcheol not to jump when your hand slips into his underwear. And it takes even more for him to stay steady when fingers wrap around his cock.
âCan barely wrap my hand around you.â
Your hushed observation made him twitch in your grasp, pulling in his lower lip when you slipped his length out. You released him to spit into your palm, replacing your hold before beginning to stroke slowly. He didnât realize he was holding his breath until it came out. Soon enough, soft grunts left his mouth.
âAre you distracted now?â
Seungcheol licked his lips and hummed, âYes, very distracted.â
The giggle you gave preceded your mouth, leaning up to start giving him kisses again, multitasking efficiently. When you seemed to get your fill of his tongue, you parted and crawled down his body until you were face to face with his fully stiff dick. It couldnât help but give a jerk at the devious smirk you shot him.
âMay I?â
Fuck if he would say no.
âGo ahead.â
His backing spurred you into action, giving his cock a kiss at the base before using your tongue to run alongside every inch. The sigh that left Seungcheol carried so much behind it. The weight from the last few weeks and tonight escaped as you lap him up with attention that he didnât realize he was missing until now. There was never a dull moment with your mouth, making his hips buck occasionally and quiet groans fill the room.
He managed to keep most of himself under control until you took him past your lips, forcing his fingers to dig into whoeverâs comforter was underneath. The tight heat and wetness around his dick eventually made his digits come up to weave into your hair, giving you a bit of guidance. You didnât seem to mind as a moan vibrated, sending a shiver down his spine.
Seungcheol forgot about whatever was happening outside of this bedroom for a while. He couldn't care less that there was a party going on downstairs and at least one of his friends might be looking for him. They dragged him here; the least they could do was let him have some fun of his own.
But the best part was that his ex-girlfriend didnât pass through his mind once.
A sharp and familiar pang soon came in his groin, forcing him to choke out, âY/N, Y/N, Iâm so closeââ
You looked up at his warning before pulling off with a popping sound to ask, âYou wanna come in my mouth?â
The offer made his jaw drop and his cock twitch hard, swallowing down his shock in order to answer you.
âIâ Up to you.â
A knowing expression washed over your face, smeared cherry lips quirking.
âJudging by your reaction, Iâll take it as a yes. Donât worry, I donât mind.â
You swiftly returned to your previous position, letting a hand join in stroking what was still out this time. Seungcheol didnât even get a second to process what you said before you continued pleasuring him, jumbling his brain as he got closer and closer to the end. It didnât take long for his entire body to tense up, swearing out loud while he spilled into your mouth. His vision was spotty as he orgasmed, only clearing up when he went limp on the bed, panting hard.
Damn.
You definitely came through on your promise of distraction.
When he was finally back on Earth, you sat up, giving him a curious look.
âDid that help?â
Seungcheol lifted his head from the bed, chuckling breathlessly at your question.
âFuck yes.â
A giggle that contradicted what you were previously doing to him escaped, your body wiggling side to side a bit.
âGood! I hate to disappoint.â
âBelieve me, you didnât.â
Your chest puffed out in triumph, looking like you were ready to receive a gold star for your hard work. At this point, you should have split up and returned to your respective groups. But Seungcheol found his instinct to return the favor rising to the surface.
âY/N.â
âYeah?â
Forcing himself to sit up and look you in your eyes, he licked his lips before asking, âDo youâŚneed me to help you out?â
Your eyes widened at his suggestion.
âYouâŚhow?â
Heâs already come this far; he might as well lay all the chips down.
âI could eat you out.â
How your hand flew up to land over your mouth had him wonder if he overstepped his boundaries. Maybe you just wanted to give him his and get out.
âIâŚI mean, you donât have to. We could just end it hereâŚâ
Hearing you trail off with uncertainty only pushed Seungcheol further. The need to have his mouth on somewhere other than your lips was blazing in his veins. He just missed pleasuring another.
With his bottom lip pushed out and his dark eyes looking up in a specific way, he made a final plea for his case.
âJustâŚconsider it part of the distraction. Please?â
Yes, Choi Seungcheol was nearly begging to eat a strangerâs pussy.
But much to his relief, the light laugh you gave lacked mocking. No longer hiding your mouth, you smiled coyly and cooed, âWell, if youâre insistingâŚâ
Perking up at your approval, he took hold of your jaw with both hands, giving you a long peck. He could feel you giggling during it, becoming louder when he pulled off to take a firm hold of your hips. You werenât given a second to ask where to move before he lifted and practically manhandled you onto your back. The look you directed up at him was filled with surprise and a hazy lust.
âSo strong.â
Seungcheol smirked at your dreamy tone, waiting for your legs to spread before sitting between them. He wasted little time in reaching for the hem of your dress, languidly rolling it up until he got a clear view of your panties.
And the large wet spot in the middle of it.
âShit.â
You wiggled your hips at his gruff swear, teasing, âDonât be so surprised.â
He raised a brow at you.
âYeah, Iâm definitely not leaving you like this.â
Whatever mischief that would paint your words evaporated when you felt his knuckles run up and down your clothed center.
âA gentleman, arenât you?â
Seungcheol grunted after seeing the spot grow larger, âSure, letâs call it that.â
Not wanting to keep you waiting any longer, he maneuvered down to rest his head between your thighs. Even though he wanted to go straight to business, you deserved a little build-up as well. So Seungcheol planted soft kisses on your inner thighs, trailing up until his nose nearly brushed against you. He sped things up only when a whine of impatience came from above.
Reaching up to hook a finger under the fabric, he pulled it to the side and let it rest as he saw your dripping folds for a moment. But then he was quick to lean in and get to work.
He started off light at first, using the tip of his tongue to see what tickled your fancy. Soft hums left your mouth as your lover for the night, exploring every inch of skin. Seungcheol remained content with the gentle sounds until the need to hear more came over, pushing him to apply a little more pressure to make you louder.
âMnhââ
âDoing alright up there?â
You hummed pleasantly, âJust wonderful. Keep it up.â
Seungcheol chuckled at your reply, using your encouragement to fuel his actions. He got a little more creative with his mouth, especially when it came to your clit. Closing his lips around it and sucking gently brought a stronger reaction out of you this time. He could feel a hand come down onto the back of his head before fingers buried into his dark locks.
âRight there, babyââ
A short groan vibrated against you from that. He made sure not to let up on what you wanted, finding that he had to use one of his arms to hold down your twitching hips at one point. He was starting to think that you had a thing for muscular guys, judging by your earlier reaction from being flipped over and how you giggled breathlessly from his recent move.
He continued to indulge in the taste of you until he felt the lightest of tugs on his hair. Pulling off with a pop, Seungcheol raised a thick brow.
âYou good?â
âUh huh, butââ Your tongue ran along your bottom red lip. ââyou mind doing me a favor?â
His eyes squinted playfully. âAs long as it doesnât involve feet or anything extreme, no.â
A laugh sounded while you released his strands and tapped his forehead.
âDork. I want your fingers in me. That too extreme for you?â
The pang that hit his stomach influenced him to shake his head no.
âGood.â
Now you patted him, laying back and relaxing as you waited for him to follow through on his promise. Seungcheol used his free hand to sneak under his chin and pressed the tip of his index finger between your folds. Once he found your entrance, a glance into your eyes was given, receiving a nod in return. He began sliding inside, biting his lip at how you seemed to suck him in. You were wet enough that there was little resistance, making an obscene sound that brought a tingle down his spine.
Starting to thrust moderately, your louder moans filled the dim room. Seungcheol had to apply more pressure with the arm on your hips, nearly being thrown off by a strong buck. He got distracted by watching how you reacted to the friction. But then he remembered how much you also enjoyed his mouth and bent down to get back to work.
You were gracious enough to let him get his fill of you, so he wanted to ensure you got your distraction as well.
âS-Seungcheolââ
He didnât know how much time had passed before your strangled call of his name cut into the fog, releasing your pulsating bud from his wet lips to rasp, âWhatâs wrong?â
Your hand darted down to press his mouth back against it, whimpering, âDonât stop, gonna comeââ
You didnât need to say anymore.
Seungcheol continued licking and sucking, just the way you liked, ignoring how his jaw and finger started cramping up. Thankfully, it didnât take that long to feel you clamp down tight, crying out as your thighs trembled next to his head. He kept the same pace, waiting until you pushed at his head to prevent overstimulation. Once the trembling of your body died down, he slipped his digit out and sat up, giving your hip a careful rub. The touch brought your attention down from the ceiling to him, eyes hazy with bliss and wonder.
An expression that brought the cheekiest of grins to his face.
âHow was that?â
You remained silent for a few seconds, seeming to figure your words out.
âSheâs missing out.â
It took a moment for Seungcheol to process what you said, but he laughed once he did, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
âShe is, isnât she?â
The two of you shared another laugh before he felt his back pocket vibrate. Blinking, he reached in and slipped out his phone, frowning at the message on the screen.
[Wonu]: whereâd you go??? Weâre leaving soon
âFriends looking for you?â
Seungcheol looked up, nodding.
âYeah. Sounds like theyâre about to head out.â
A sigh left your lips, sitting up to give him a cherry-colored pout.
âDarn. I was having so much fun with you.â
His ears reddened at your complaint, grinning bashfully.
âSame.â
Tapping your foot against his thigh, you hurried back to adjust your clothing, leaving him to respond to Wonwooâs text.
[Cheol]: my bad, hanging out with someone
[Cheol]: be down in a few minutes
When he received a thumbs up, Seungcheol followed suit, standing up to tuck himself back in and smooth out any wrinkles on his shirt. He didnât want to be super obvious when he left the bedroom. Just as he finished, he turned to find you standing and facing him, looking up with scrutinizing eyes.
âHeyâŚwhatâs up?â
âYou might wanna, uhââ
You pointed to his mouth, making him look in the nearby mirror to see what was happening. His eyes widened at the red smeared over and around his swollen lips. Clicking his tongue, he grabbed a tissue, wiped it off as best as possible and turned towards you afterward.
âBetter?â
A thumbs up was given. âMuch. As much as I like my lipstick on you, I donât think you want everyone to know what youâve been up to.â
Seungcheolâs mouth popped open. You complimented yet called him out simultaneously. A woman after his heart.
But you brought him back to Earth with a pat on his shoulder, reminding him, âCome on, donât keep your friends waiting.â
Closing his mouth, he nodded in agreement.
âRightâŚthank you, Y/N, for, you know, distracting me. It helped. A lot.â
While not as red as before, your lips shone with vibrancy as they curled upwards.
âOf course, you looked like you needed it. Thanks for not leaving me hanging.â
âNot a problem.â
Another vibration in his pocket urged Seungcheol to hurry downstairs before getting stranded. He leaned down to kiss your cheek and made his way to the door, unlocking and opening it. Just as he stepped over the threshold, he looked back to see you watching him with an unreadable expression.
But it vanished when you caught him staring, brows knitting as you lightheartedly shooed him away.
Whatever that was was left behind as he shut the door behind him.
Seungcheol knew with every fiber of his being that his group would be in or lounging in the car, ready to leave any second. Patience was never their strong suit.
He could already spot a casualty or two as he walked across the lawn. Chan was laid across the hood of the vehicle while Seungkwanâs mouth ran off at Wonwoo, face flushed to all hell. He seemed to approach at the right time, the latter looking relieved as he pushed himself off from leaning against the door.
âThere you are! We thought you walked home or something.â
Joshuaâs voice could be heard calling out from inside, âYeah man, where have you been?â
Seungcheol shrugged, hands buried into his pockets.
âI was busy.â
âDoing what?â
He looked Wonwoo dead in his eyes, trying to telepathize what he had been up to.
âStuff.â
His close friend seemed to understand after a moment, brows lifting in surprise while his mouth twisted upwards.
âDoing stuff or someone?â
But there was little chance of keeping it between them when Seungkwan obnoxiously challenged him.
âI was just hanging out with them. You told me I needed to be distracted tonight, yeah?â
Joshua was busy setting up his GPS to tune in and Chan was fighting slumber, leaving Wonwoo and Seungkwan to make noises of wonder at the reveal.
âWe did. Good job, hyung.â
Seungcheol smirked at his approval, still riding the high of the encounter.
âWhat? Choi Seungcheol having a one-night stand?â Seungkwan stumbled forward to rest a hand on his elderâs forehead. âYou feelinâ okay? Too much to drink?â
The smile dropped and formed into a scowl as he got his hand smacked away.
âFuck off, look whoâs talking. Get your drunk ass in the car.â
A petulant whine left the younger as he turned to fumble with the door. Joshua honked the horn, sticking his head out the driverâs window to yell at Chan to move and get in. It did little to faze the youngest, mumbling something akin to âfive more minutes.â Seungcheol and Wonwoo worked on removing him from the hood and into the backseat to lean on a singing Seungkwan. The latter climbed in next to them, leaving the oldest to get ready to slide in the passenger seat.
âSeungcheol!â
But then a voice called out before footsteps thudded in the grass behind him.
Thick brows furrowed as he turned to gape in shock as he saw you running over. You stopped directly before him, catching your breath for a moment.
âY/N! Whatâs wrong?â
âDidnât think Iâd catch you. I wanted to give you something.â
Seungcheol had no clue what this something could be. He was still trying to wrap his head around running into you again. This wasnât how one-night stands were supposed to goâŚright?
But when you opened a closed fist to reveal a piece of folded paper, his brain ran ahead of itself and wondered whether this was going to go the opposite direction.
Seungcheol blinked rapidly, peeking at your face to see you giving him an expectant look. He took the paper and quickly unfolded it, jaw dropping at what was scribbled down. He couldnât help but dart back and forth between it and you, the mischievous grin letting him know that this wasnât a joke.
âIn case you need more distraction.â
With a wink, you turned around, the skirt of your dress flipping and swishing as you walked back towards the house with a sway in your hips. He continued to gawk at your retreating form, only brought out of his reverie by the whooping of his friends and Joshuaâs incessant honking. Spinning around to chew out the driver for making a commotion, Seungcheol swiftly got in, buckling himself before the group hit the road.
Of course, the ride was filled with interrogation, intermingled with Seungkwanâs singing and Dinoâs freestyling. But he didnât mind, feeling a burst of confidence every time the paper scratched the palm of his hand.
Maybe coming out to this party wasnât a terrible idea after all.
Šbangtanintotheroom, 2024. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.
#scoups#scoups smut#scoups angst#scoups fanfic#scoups fic#scoups x reader#scoups x you#scoups x y/n#scoups imagines#choi seungcheol#choi seungcheol smut#choi seungcheol fanfic#choi seungcheol fic#choi seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol x you#choi seungcheol x y/n#choi seungcheol angst#choi seungcheol imagines#seventeen#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#seventeen fic#just like candy#ksmutsociety
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âĽăťword count: 17.2k âĽăťwarnings: cursing, suggestive but no smut (i think that tag is on all my sungchan fics at this point), also i do talk about biting him probably too much, thereâs one scene where i have to refer to distance and i use miles im sorry itâs the filthy american in me (convert to km if you must but itâs really not that important) âĽăťgenre: meet-ugly (like a meet-cute but bad), strangers to lovers, fluff and more fluff good god, forced proximity trope (long car trip, friend group vacation in a cabin, etc.) âĽăťauthorâs note: send help the sungchan brainrot is terminal
âI just donât trust people that are that hotâSorry.â
âAre you going to the cabin next week?â Karina asked you, refilling her drink as the two of you chatted in the kitchen of Donghyuck and Markâs place. The former was throwing a âsmall get-togetherâ tonight for his birthday, which was already shaping up to be more like the parties youâd attended in undergrad. Heâd also invited a hopefully actually small number of your closer friends to spend two weeks in his familyâs cabin starting the following Friday.
âYeah, Iâll be there,â you nodded, opening the fridge to nose around in there for something to mix with your alcohol.
âDo you know who all he invited?â
âI think the usual, right?â You had secured some cranberry juice and seltzer, and brought them back out triumphantly. âDidnât he text the details to everyone in a group chat? Check whoâs in it.â
âLet me seeâŚâ She muttered, scrolling through her phone. âYou, me, Hyuck, Mark, Ning, Jeno, Jaemin, Shotaro, AntonâŚâ
âUnless itâs a mansion in the woods, it sounds like half of us will be sleeping on the floor,â you scoffed.
âThereâs one person in here that I donât have saved.â She frowned. âDo you?â
You looked at it on your own phone. âThereâs two people I donât have saved. One of them must be Anton, I just met him the other day when Taro brought him around to⌠whatever, I donât even remember now.â
âI donât have the 512 number.â
You saved the other unknown number as Anton. âI donât have the 512 number either.â
Karina giggled. âMysterious.â
âProbably another guy Hyuck and Mark met playing pickup.â You shrugged, following her back out to the living room. âI feel like thatâs how they meet all their new friends these days.â
âRina! Y/N!â Ningning suddenly appeared in front of the two of you, grabbing your other friendâs wrist. âCome dance with me!â
Karina looked over at you. âY/N?â
âJust topped up.â You lifted your drink. âMaybe later. Have fun, guys.â
As they disappeared into the middle of the room, you drifted off to the side, finding a wall to lean against. You took slow sips of your drink, eyes passing over the crowd. You didnât mind standing by yourself until either your friends were done dancing and found you again, or you spotted someone youâd rather talk to before then.
âY/N!â Your voice was called from behind you, and you turned around to greet the birthday boy with a wide smile.
âHyuck!â You went to hug him. âI feel like I havenât seen you all night!â
âBecause youâve been hiding in the kitchen,â he teased. âI think this is the first time Iâve actually seen you out here.â
You rolled your eyes as you drew back from the hug. âWhatever, Iâm here now. Are you having a good birthday?â
âGreat!â He beamed. It was then that you noticed he had someone with him, a tall guy hovering awkwardly behind him. Donghyuck went to introduce him, âThis is Sungchan, by the way. He also lives in the complex; Mark and I met him playing pickup.â
Of course.
âSungchan, this is my friend Y/N,â Hyuck then gestured to you.
You nodded to him politely. âNice to meet you.â
âYou too,â he smiled back, a bright, heart-stopping smile. You held onto your drink a little tighter, with both hands.
âHey! Renjun!â Donghyuck suddenly yelled out. âNo killing people on the premises! Choke Jisung outside!â
He took off into the crowd, leaving you with his new friend.
âAnyway, it was nice to meet you, Jungchan, but Iâve got to find my friends.â You slipped away before he could say anything else.
Karina and Ningning were still dancing, and while you briefly debated joining them, you decided against it, heading back to your safe haven instead: the kitchen. It was blissfully empty when you got in there, and you started picking at the bowls of snacks mindlessly.
âThat was incredible.â Someone snickered, startling you into dropping a chip onto the floor.
You picked it up, glowering at the newcomer as you went to go throw away the ruined chip into the garbage can. âWhat are you talking about, Anton?â
âHis name is Sungchan, by the way.â He was still laughing, hopping up onto the counter by the bowls of snacks. âNot Jungchan. I happened to have been lucky enough to have overheard that.â
âOops.â You said flatly, well aware that you didnât sound very sorry.
âBut Iâm totally going to use that.â
âYou know him from pickup basketball too, I presume?â
âYup.â He tossed a cheeseball up and caught it in his mouth. âHeâs not very good at shooting, but heâs tall, so heâs alright at guarding.â
âGood for him. Or not, I donât know.â
âSo letâs say, hypothetically, I was eavesdropping on the entire conversationââ
âHypothetically.â
âOf course.â He grinned. âHe said like two words to you, and they were barely even hello. Why did you run away like that?â
You sighed, topping off your drink again. After taking a sip, musing over how best to phrase it, you finally decided on, âI just donât trust people that are that hotâSorry.â
Anton cocked his head curiously at you. âWho hurt you?â
âNobody, god.â You rolled your eyes. âYouâre so fucking dramatic and for what?â
âFun and profit, mostly.â
âYou hurt Sungchanâs feelings,â Donghyuck declared, blotting out the sun above you.
You closed your book on your thumb to deal with this. You had been reclining on a chair at your apartment complexâs pool reading in peace when your friend appeared out of nowhere. Outside the pool fence you could see his roommate, and two more of your mutual friends, Jaemin and Jeno. Jeno had a basketball under his arm, which made sense, the courts were right next to the pool, they were probably already heading there when they saw you and decided to detour over here to⌠interrogate you? Harass you?
âWho? What? When?â You squinted up at Donghyuck in confusion.
âMy friend. Last night.â
âThe tall one? How? Because I didnât want to talk about the weather or whatever with him?â
âApologize,â he demanded, crossing his arms. âAnd get his name right this time. Itâs Sungchan. Not Jungchan.â
You scoffed, sitting up straighter in your chair. âThis is exactly what I was telling Anton last night, you know. I donât trust people that are that hot because even if they donât do anything to abuse their hotness directly, or on purpose, other people will just do things for them anyway.â
âHeâs the nicest person I know. Hotness be damned. Apologize.â
âNo.â
âReally? This is the moral hill that youâre willing to die on?â
âYup.â
âYouâre a true martyr, Y/N,â Hyuck said sarcastically. âThe Second Coming herself.â
âThe nicest person you know? Really?â You questioned doubtfully.
âReally. And you were mean to him,â Donghyuck confirmed.
âIncluding Shotaro?â
âIncluding Taro.â
âMark?â
âMarkâs my best friend. Doesnât mean heâs the nicest person I know,â he retorted.
âJeno?â
âLiterally saw him steal candy from a baby yesterday.â
You blinked. âWait, seriously?â
âJisung. Same thing.â
âIâm not apologizing to your friend,â you declared, opening your book again.
âThis is the stupidest line youâve drawn in the sand yet.â
âIâm not going out and bullying him! All I said was that I donât trust hot people!â
âFlaw in your logic: Youâre friends with me,â he pointed out smugly.
âThink on that one again, Hyuck,â you replied snidely, looking down at your book as if you were trying to get back to reading.
âRude.â He looked back at the other three guys waiting for him, apparently getting an idea. âWhat about Jeno? Heâs like, ridiculously good-looking.â
âI like him just fine. I just donât trust him, or what people will do for him because heâs stupidly attractive,â you argued.
âIt sounds exhausting to be you,â he huffed, turning on his heel and leaving the pool deck.
Later that afternoon, you pulled yourself up out of the pool, heading back towards your chair. Grabbing your towel, you wrapped it around yourself to start drying off before heading back to your apartment. You saw someone walking towards you out of the corner of your eye as you were digging through your bag for your phone.
âHi.â It was Donghyuckâs tall friend from last night, in workout gear rather than swim trunks. Obviously not here to use the pool.
âHi.â You wiped a drop of water off your phone screen that had fallen from your nose onto it.
âDo you have a second?â
âSure.â
He scratched the back of his neck as he focused an apologetic smile on you. âDid I do something or say something? At Donghyuckâs place? Because Iâm reallyââ
âNo.â
ââsorry if I didâWait what?â The smile dropped from his face.
âYou didnât do anything or say anything. You were perfectly nice,â you answered honestly.
âThen it really was what you told Anton?â He asked in disbelief.
Of course, Anton must have told him what you said.
âLook, Sungchan, Iâm sorry, I just donât trust really attractive guys right off the bat.â
âI havenât done anything to earn your distrust other thanââ
ââother than being hot, yeah.â You shrugged. âEven if you really are nice, intentionally or not, people treat you differently just by virtue of you being stupidly hot. Gets in your head, whether you think it has or not.â
âYou donât know me.â
âNot at all.â
âHow are you any different then?â
âDifferent than who?â
âYou say that people treat me differently because Iâm, in your words, âstupidly hot.ââ He put the phrase air quotes. âThatâs exactly what youâre doing right now.â
âHow am I treating you different by not immediately falling at your feet? I donât do that for average looking guys either.â
âThatâs not what Iâm asking you to do.â
âWas I rude to you last night? Bitchy? Outright mean or nasty?â You ticked the adjectives off on your fingers. âNo, the most you can accuse me of was being a bit curt. And getting your name wrong, that really was my bad.â
He was quiet for a moment, and you took the opportunity to slip your sandals back on and shoulder your tote bag.
âLook, youâre not entitled to my time, attention, or to me,â you told him firmly.
âI didnât say I was,â he said immediately, his brow furrowing.
âYouâve taken it as a personal affront that I didnât want to idly chitchat with you last night.â
âIâm just⌠confused,â Sungchan sighed.
âYouâre nice to look at, Iâm sure youâre not a complete dud to talk to, itâs probably not torture to make small talk with you at a party. So people do,â you tried to walk him through it. âBut itâs not mean for someone to not want to talk to you.â
He was silent again, that same pensive, troubled look on his face, and you found yourself in better spirits than you had been last night.
âThis was fun. I would say we should do it again, but Iâm afraid I would make you cry and then Hyuck would be really mad at me.â You chuckled, grabbing your keys from your bag. âSo, goodbye, Sungchan.â
You were relaxed on your couch that night with a tub of ice cream when a violent banging came at your front door. Pausing the movie you were watching, you rushed to answer it, thinking that it must be the police, or some other kind of emergency. Instead, it was Donghyuck and Mark. You looked at Donghyuck incredulously, the one who had been doing the knocking.
âWhat is your fucking problem?â He said in lieu of a greeting, throwing his hands up in the air in disbelief.
âWhat did I do now? Allegedly?â You matched his tone, watching as he started pacing your entryway.
âYou know what you did.â Mark was calmer, reminding you of a disappointed parent as he looked at you, his hands on his hips.
âYou broke him!â Donghyuck declared.
âWhoâOh, Sungchan?â You finally connected the dots.
âWho elseâs soul have you ripped out of their chest and stomped on today?â
âHe sought me out,â you defended yourself, crossing your arms.
âAnd you couldnât have been a human being and talked to him?â
âWe talked. From what youâre saying, it sounds like he didnât like what I had to say.â
âHeâs catatonic!â
âYouâre being dramatic.â
âOnly slightly. But heâs not well.â
You scoffed, âIf one conversation with me is enough to make him spiral, sounds like he had some other stuff going on before I opened my mouth.â
âSo you refuse to take responsibility? For any of this?â Donghyuck regarded you wide, crazed eyes, looking like he was at the end of his rope.
âYouâre asking me to what? Fix him?â You snorted in disbelief. âI donât Mommy grown men, sorry.â
âYou are infuriating.â He pointed at you accusatorily. âThe party I couldâve let slideââ
âNo you couldnât have, you found me literally the next day demanding that I apologize for not wanting to talk to him,â you spat back.
âNot for that! Iâm not going to hold a gun to your head and force you to make small talk with him,â he groaned. âI meant the stuff you were telling Anton, in the kitchen. He heard you.â
âAll I said was that I donât trust people that are that hot. Nothing to have a goddamn mental breakdown over!â
âAnd he wouldnât have, if you had just, I donât know, apologized for the misunderstanding and moved on! But no, you have to take everything to this moral extreme! Honestly, Iâm finding it hard to remember whatâs even likeable about you in the first place right now,â Donghyuck ranted, running his hands through his hair.
âHyuck, that was a bit far,â Mark finally spoke up again, stepping forward.
âYou really want to die on this hill, Y/N?â Donghyuck just went around his roommate, looking you in the eye. âThen fine. Donât bother coming on the trip.â
âHyuck, man, come onââ Mark called after him, but Donghyuck had already stormed out of your apartment.
You watched the empty doorway after him, chest heaving as all the words youâd exchanged finally caught up to you. Looking to your friend that you had been left with, you asked quietly, âDo you think I'm in the wrong, Mark?â
He tilted his head back and forth regretfully. âI think⌠youâre being a bit abrasive.â
âYou agree with Hyuck,â you deadpanned.
âNot entirely. I donât think he shouldâve been throwing Sungchan at you so hard. He shouldâve known you werenât going to take it well, which is probably why he did it in such a weird way.â
âWhat?â
âHe was trying to set you up with Sungchan. But knowing how⌠you⌠are, he thought he had to do it with some uh, âfinesse.ââ Mark shrugged one shoulder. âSungchan wasnât all that hurt after the party, really. A bit bummed that you brushed him off, sure, but he wouldâve bounced back. Heâs hard to knock down, literally and metaphorically. Hyuck demanded that you go âapologizeâ to him so that youâd talk to him again. Same thing with Sungchan talking to you at the pool today, Hyuck told him to.â
âDoes Sungchan know that Hyuckâs been trying to set us up this whole time?â
âIâm pretty sure.â
âSo to him, this has been Hyuck setting him up with, apparently, the biggest bitch he knows,â you winced. No wonder he was so confused earlier.
âI meanâŚâ Mark trailed off sheepishly. âHe shouldâve told you.â
âAnd I shouldâve been fucking normal,â you groaned, rubbing your face.
âAn argument can be made for that, yes.â
âWhat apartment is Sungchan in?â
According to Mark, Sungchan went on a jog every morning at 8:00, and was usually back by 10:00, so you made sure to knock on his front door at 10:15, just in case.
Sungchan opened the door, wiping sweat from his face with a towel as he spoke, âAnton, I thought we agreed on elevenâŚâ
He trailed off when he opened his eyes and saw who was actually on his doorstep.
âHi, Sungchan,â you greeted him.
âOh. Hi, Y/N.â He dropped his hand from his face. In the background, you could hear music playing, and smell food being cooked.
âUhm, are you busy? I can leave, sorryââ
âNo, no, itâs fine.â He stepped back, opening the door wider and gesturing you in. You stepped into his apartment with a polite, grateful nod. It looked like he had been in the middle of making breakfast, a blender out on his counter, various fruits on a cutting board, and ingredients sizzling in a pan. He went to pause the music on his phone, and stirred the food that was in the pan. He pointed to one of the stools that was at the bar attached to the kitchen counter. âDo you want to sit?â
âNo, thanks,â you shook your head. Shouldnât take that long. âI just wanted to apologize. I was abrasive, and shouldnât have been using you to try to draw some moral line in the sand as part of an argument with my friend.â
Sungchan nodded. âThanks. You did have a point, about the party. I wasnât used to people not wanting to talk to me, it was a weird experience. But youâre right, I wasnât entitled to your time.â He went back to the cutting board, chopping up a banana and depositing it into the blender. âBesides, Iâm sure you have guys come up to you all the time and you just want to be left alone. No worries.â
You tilted your head curiously. âWhy do you say that?â
âPeople treat you different when youâre stupidly hot, right?â He shrugged, scooping some blueberries into the blender next.
âI wasnât talking about myselfâŚâ
Sungchan just grinned and shrugged again. âSo I guess Iâll see you at Hyuckâs family cabin then?â
âNo. I was uninvited,â you informed him quietly.
âWhat? Why?â
âBecause of how⌠poorly I handled this.â
Sungchanâs eyes widened with horror. âWhat? Thatâs crazy. I didnât ask himââ
âDonât worry, I totally get why he did it. His choice was between the nicest guy he knowsââ you pointed to Sungchan, ââand the biggest bitch he knowsââ you then pointed to yourself, ââwho is a compulsive vibe-harsher. Iâd pick you too.â
âDonât tell me he called youââ
âMy words,â you assured him.
âIâll talk to him. No way you should be uninvited over a misunderstanding like this.â He flashed you an easy-going smile. âI mean, weâve already worked it out. No hard feelings, right?â
âRight,â you agreed, offering a small smile back. âBut really, Sungchan, you donât have to. Heâll think I just apologized to you to get invited back on the trip.â
âDid you?â
âNo.â
âThen there we go,â he said as if it were already decided. âIâll talk to him.â
[hyuck: youâre un-uninvited]
[hyuck: sungchan will pick you up at 2:00 on friday]
[you: why is he picking me up???]
[hyuck: youâre the only two who need to leave late on friday. the rest of us are heading up in the morning]
[you: i have my own car??]
[hyuck: youâve got a shitty sedan with 200,000 miles on it that can barely make it over a speed bump. youâre not making it up a mountain]
[hyuck: consider this your exposure therapy]
Sure enough, Friday at 2:00 p.m., there was a knock at your front door, Sungchan on the other side.
âHey,â you greeted him, stepping back to grab your small rolling suitcase. âYou really didnât have to come get me, I couldâve met you down at your car.â
âI donât mind. You need any help with your bags?â He offered, watching you also shoulder a duffel bag as you tried to wedge your memory foam pillow under your other arm.
âWhereâs your stuff?â You questioned, noticing his empty hands.
âI already packed it in the car.â He reached for your suitcase, and you willingly let him take it. He held another hand out, and you gave him your duffel bag as well. Without even asking, he picked up the tote that was at your feet, too, leaving you with just your pillow and phone. âYou got everything?â
You looked around your apartment, thinking hard. âMmm⌠Iâm pretty sure.â
âPhone, wallet, keys, charger?â
âCheck.â
âPajamas, toothbrush, toothpaste, other toiletries?â
âCheck.â
âLetâs do it,â he grinned, leading the way to the front door.
[sungchan: picked y/n up! gonna get some gas on our way out of town if anybody has last minute snack requests. eta 5:00 pm!]
[jeno: đ]
As some of the othersâ snack orders came pouring in, you got one text separately.
[hyuck: be. nice.]
After filling up and triple-checking to make sure you had bought everyoneâs food, you and Sungchan were back in his car, a modest-size SUV. He plugged his phone in to charge, then handed it to you.
âHere, you navigate.â The directions to the cabin were already pulled up and started.
âUh, I donât think thatâs a good idea.â You tried to give it back. âI yap and nap.â
âItâs like five turns total for three hours.â He refused to take it back, starting the car and peeling off. âYou can be passenger princess all you want. I even know the first two to get onto the highway on my own. Just need the exit number, the road name, and the house number.â
âOh god, okayâŚâ You sank down into the passenger seat, clutching his phone with two hands.
âAre you really that nice?â You asked once you had been on the highway for a while. Sungchan and you had been taking turns on auxâright now he had something playingâand there was a comfortable lull in conversation, but you couldnât help the question that had been nagging at the back of your mind the entire time.
âThere is no way for me to answer that and not sound like a dick,â he pointed out. âEither I say no, despite knowing that our mutual friends have apparently hyped up how nice I am to you, in which case it just looks like Iâm acting humble. Dick move. Or I say yes, which would make me look like Iâm full of myself. Dick move again.â
You looked over at him, feeling the smirk tug at your lips. âYouâre fun.â
âThanks?â
âSo if you donât think youâre that nice, how would you describe yourself?â
âWhat is this? Speed dating?â He snorted.
âYou want to talk about something else? Pick a better topic yourself,â you retorted. âWeâre stuck in here for like two more hours.â
âThatâs not what I meant,â he quickly went to smooth the conversation over, his tone turning pleasant again. âI just meant⌠I donât know how accurate a self-assessment like that would be. Wouldnât you be biased about yourself? Positive or negative?â
âThatâs the fun of it. Even if a person doesnât describe themselves accurately, understanding how they see themselves can help you understand them a lot better.â
âHow would you describe yourself then?â
âI asked you first.â You pointed out. It felt like it had been a long time since you checked the navigation, so you clicked Sungchanâs phone back on to see how much longer you had to go until your exit.
âFine.â He hummed as he thought. âI like to think Iâm⌠dependable. And a good friend. And patientââ
âThat was our exit,â you said abruptly, staring at the constantly refreshing rerouting screen in front of you.
âWhat?â
âWell, fifty miles ago was our exitâŚâ You winced, watching â288â pass you by. Yours had been 238, apparently. You shouldâve known that.
âWe missed our exit?â Sungchan clarified.
âFifty miles back, yeah.â
âAnd you just decided to tell me?â
âI just noticed! I thought it was 288!â You tried to defend yourself. âI told you not to make me navigate!â
He held a hand out towards you. âGive me the phone.â
âItâs rerouting, Iâll pay attentionââ
âY/N, give me the fucking phone.â His tone was low, with no room for arguing.
You meekly set it in his hand, dropping both your hands in your lap after. He cursed under his breath as he jerked the wheel over, cutting across three lanes of trafficâno turn signalâto narrowly make the next exit. Car horns followed his maneuver, but he ignored them.
âIâm sorryâŚâ You muttered, unable to take the suffocating silence anymore. It was either apologize or tuck and roll, which was honestly still an option at this point.
âText everyone, let them know weâll be late,â Sungchan demanded, knuckles red and white around the wheel.
âOkay.â You scrambled to pull out your own phone. âWhat time should I tell them?â
âEight.â
You gaped. âThree hours?!â
âYes, Y/N, weâre on the other side of the fucking mountain now!â He finally snapped and raised his voice, and your eyes went wide. âWe canât just drive through it to get there!â
You took a deep breath, holding his eye contact for a tense, strangling moment before you looked down at your phone to draft your text.
[you: hey guys! uhm, due to an unfortunate series of events, sungchan and i will be a bit late! new eta 8pm]
[anton: did yâall crash or smth wtf]
Again, a separate text from Donghyuck.
[hyuck: i said be nice not fuck him nasty in the backseat for three hours what is wrong with you]
[you: shut UP]
Back in your vacation group chat, you figured you owed everyone an explanation that alleviated Sungchan of any blame.
[you: completely my fault! iâm apparently the worst navigator ever and we missed our exit :/ ]
[rina: damn y/n maintaining the stereotype that women are bad drivers even when backseat driving]
[ningning: the patriarchy thanks u for ur service queen đŤĄ]
[jeno: i hate when you guys start joking like this, wtf are we supposed to say without looking like assholes]
[hyuck: pour one out for y/n, it must be so hard holding open the gender pay gap like the doors of a subway car all by herself too]
[mark: bro đđđ]
[you: i wish all of you a very fall down the mountain and die <3]
And one more private text from Donghyuck.
[hyuck: okay thatâs how i know you didnât get dicked down]
[hyuck: damn, you really are bad at reading directions huh]
[you: IM BLOCKING YOU]
Sungchan cleared his throat, and you slowly lowered your phone to look over at him again. He smoothly took a curve on the backroad that you were now on, one lane in each direction, that cut between the mountains with trees jutting up on either side of you.
âIâm sorry, Y/N,â Sungchan breathed out, readjusting in his seat. âFor yelling at you just now. Thatâs not⌠like me.â
âBecause youâre so nice?â You couldnât bite your tongue quick enough, still put off from the spat youâd just had.
âI⌠guess so,â he sighed. âI donât know. I donât know where that came from, honest. Iâm really sorry.â
âI told you I shouldnât navigate.â
âYeah, I know that now.â
âIâm really, really sorry for missing the exit. I shouldâve been paying attention better,â you shouldered the blame that was yours.
â238 and 288 look almost the same. Easy mistake.â
âThat added three hours to our drive,â you sighed, leaning your seat back.
âItâs done, no use pointing fingers at each other anymore,â Sungchan shook his head, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel. âOr yourself.â
âDo you even have enough gas for another three hours? Weâre not going to get stuck out here, are we?â
âIâll stop at the next station I see.â
âHow far is the next station?â You mumbled, pulling up your phone to search it up on your own. âFifty-two miles. How much gas do we have?â
âA hundred miles on the range. See? Weâre fine.â Sungchanâs smile dropped off his face right after he said that. âHuhâŚâ
âWhat?â You sat up as he reached over to put the hazards on and pulled the car off onto the shoulder. âWhatâs going on?â
âLow tire pressure light,â he frowned. âI checked my tires before I grabbed you from your place. Give me a sec.â
He left the car running as he hopped out, and you watched as he walked around the car, squatting down to inspect each of the tires. Finally, he walked up to your window. You rolled it down to talk to him.
âBack right tire has a nail in it. Slow leak,â he explained. âIâve got to change it.â
âArenât you not supposed to drive spares in certain conditions?â You asked as he reached through the open window to unlock and open the door. âLike on a mountain road or whatever?â
With the door open, he rolled the window back up and reached past you to turn the car off, taking the key out of the ignition. âThe roadâs paved, itâs not like itâs gravel or anything. Iâll have to drive careful and drive slow on the spare, but itâs either that or weâre stranded out here.â
You eyed the sun that was already descending behind the mountains. âRight. Spare it is.â
âNeed you to hold the flashlight if you donât mind.â He opened the glove box in front of you, rooting around and grabbing a flashlight the length of your forearm.
You accepted it from him. âGot it.â
Sungchan took the tools out of the trunk, as well as the spare tire. He first lifted the car up with the jack, and you became acutely aware of how abandoned the road that you were on really was as not a single other car passed by the entire time. Sungchan stood back up once the car was up to peel off his flannel, tossing it into the trunk with the rest of the tools and the spare waiting to be used.
âY/N.â
âHuh?â You looked down at where he had gotten back on the ground.
âI need to see the lug nuts, not my arms.â
âSorry.â You shuffled behind him to be able to point the beam directly on the tire instead of where it had drifted to his mostly bare arms under his t-shirt.
âMuch better. Thanks.â
You watched as his hands skillfully unscrewed the lug nuts from the tire with the wrench, holding the first two behind him. âHold these for me?â
âOh, sure.â You held your hand out for him to drop them into your palm.
Once you had all five in hand, Sungchan pulled the flat off the car and swapped it out for the spare. You tried not to listen to the darkened forest behind you.
âLug nuts?â He held his hand up from where he was laying on the ground. You deposited a couple back into his hand for him to screw on at a time.
As he alternated between tightening the nuts and lowering the car down off the jack, you dutifully kept the flashlight pointed on the area he was working on. Finally, the car was back on the ground, and he took the jack out from under it. He rolled the old tire around until he could point out the head of a nail embedded in the tread.
âThereâs the little fucker.â Sungchan clicked his tongue before he heaved the tire up into the back. He put away all the tools too, then wiped away beads of sweat that had gathered under his bangs with the hem of his shirt.
He grabbed his flannel, tossing it over his shoulder before he shut the hatch on the trunk. He then turned to you with a bright smile and held his hand up for a high-five. âAlright!â
You high-fived him back mindlessly, pointing the flashlight at your feet now. âI didnât do anythingâŚâ
âWhat are you talking about? I wouldâve been fumbling around in the dark without you.â He nodded his head towards the front of the car. âCome on, weâre going to be late as is. We need to find that gas station. Hopefully theyâre open late.â
âHopefullyâŚâ
[you: NEW new eta idfk]
[you: we got a flat and need to fill up again]
[you: we might die out here. if this is my last message, just know that i still wish you all a very fall down the mountain and die <3]
[rina: aw ily2 pookie <33]
[you: sungchan probably says hi or smth]
Hyuck texted you individually again.
[hyuck: oh i know that car smells RANK đŤľđŤľđŤľ]
[you: bitch this tire is as flat as YOUR ASS]
[hyuck: so itâs caked up??? my point is made đ]
[you: delusion]
âThe stars are really pretty out here,â Sungchanâs voice took you away from your phone.
He wasnât driving as fast as before on account of the spare, making your trip even longer. You looked out the windshield in front of you, at a small patch of sky that you could see peeking out in between the mountains and trees. It was hundreds, if not thousands of stars, infinitely more than you could ever hope to see on a perfectly clear night in the city.
âWow.â You leaned your arms and head forward on the dash to see it better. âThatâs crazyâŚâ
âI bet weâll see even more once we get to the cabin.â
âIf we donât die out here first,â you half-joked. âHow much gas do we have?â
âSixty miles. And the station should be another ten.â
âOnline didnât have any hours for itâŚâ You muttered. âAnd this is kind of ruralâŚâ
âWhich means the owner might live on the property, or they have someone work a night shift for weary travelers just like us.â
âWeary travelers?â You repeated with amusement. âYou make it sound like weâre going on some long journey and are seeking lodging at an inn.â
âSome of thatâs true.â
âYeah, yeah. And I wonât knock the weary part either.â You laid back in your seat again, letting out a yawn.
âTake a nap,â Sungchan encouraged you. âWeâll still have a while to drive after refilling, especially since weâre driving slow with the spare.â
âI would, but if the station is open, I gotta peeâŚâ You whispered. âAnd itâs only like ten miles.â
âThen take a nap after.â
Finally, there was a building in the distance, and miraculously, when Sungchan pulled up to the lone gas pump, the lights inside were even on.
âSungchan?â You walked around to where he was filling up the car.
âYeah?â He looked over at you from where he had been watching the numbers on the meter go up.
âUhm, can you go in with me? Into the store?â You asked almost sheepishly. âI justââ
âOf course.â He agreed with no hesitation, nodding towards the building for you to lead the way. The gas continued pumping on its own as he walked away, and you grabbed his arm as you approached the front door. He didnât say anything as he opened the door for the two of you.
The attendant behind the counter didnât even look up from his phone at the two of you as you entered. There was exactly one bathroom at the very back of the small convenience store, and Sungchan walked you back through the cramped aisles of snacks. When you were done, he was waiting just outside the door where youâd left him.
âGood?â He asked quietly, offering you the same arm that youâd taken in the parking lot.
You took it gladly. âGood.â
Sungchan gave the store employee a nod of acknowledgement as the two of you left, and the man once again didnât even look up at you. Back at the car, the gas had clicked off on its own, and Sungchan replaced the pump. He walked you to the passenger side, opening your door and ushering you in, closing it firmly behind you before getting in on his side and locking it behind him.
âGood?â He asked you again.
âGood,â you confirmed, and he started the car up.
Back on the road, the darkness all around you, steady rumble of the pavement under you, and music Sungchan had playing at a low volume was slowly lulling you back towards sleep again. You let out a rather obvious, violent yawn, not even having enough in you to slap your hand over your mouth all that quick.
âGo to sleep, Y/N,â Sungchan said again.
âBut youâve got to drive more,â you argued. âWhoâs going to keep you awake?â
âIâve got it, promise.â He then chuckled to himself. âYouâve yapped, now itâs time to nap.â
âMm, alright.â You curled up in your reclined seat as best you could, letting your eyes flutter shut. âWake me up if you need entertainment to stay awake. Love a good car sing-alongâŚâ
Your eyes and limbs still felt heavy and sluggish with sleep when you woke up later that night, and you pulled your blanket tighter to you as you tried to settle back in. You took a deep breath in through your nose, and then immediately remembered that you did not go to sleep with a blanket on you, and that this definitely was not yours that was on you right now. You felt at the material bunched in your hand again and recognized it as an article of clothing of some sort, not a blanket. Slowly opening one eye, you saw that it was a big hoodie, the arms wrapped around your shoulders so it didnât fall off.
You shifted in your seat again, sitting up a little more as you looked at the hoodie that was draped over you a little closer.
âHey, are you waking up?â Sungchan asked quietly from beside you.
You looked over at him, squinting. âMm⌠mhm.â
âGood, weâre almost there. Iâd say ten minutes,â he informed you.
âWhat⌠time is it?â
âA little after nine.â
âUghâŚâ You dropped your head back against the seat. âFeels like two in the morning.â
âI know what you mean,â he chuckled. âIâm going to be ready to sleep as soon as we get there too.â
âYeah, but you were like driving and changing tires and stuff. I was... whatever the opposite of a passenger princess is, the whole time. A passenger nuisance.â
âYou held the flashlight. That was a very important job.â
âIâm going to pretend like that didnât feel patronizing and say thanks.â
âWe both had a long night, Y/N. Being tired is warranted, for everyone involved.â
âThanks, Sungchan.â
âYouâre welcome.â
âNo, not just for that.â You were interrupted by another yawn as you went to put the back of your seat upright again. âFor⌠driving me, and apologizing for snapping at me earlier, and changing the tire, and walking me to the bathroom, and for the hoodie. YouâreâŚâ
âNice?â He seemed to be bracing himself for the word.
âA good guy.â
âOh.â
You didnât say anything else, readjusting his hoodie on you as he continued driving. Finally, he pulled off the road into a driveway, and a cabin came into view. All the lights were on, and he stopped behind a few other cars that you recognized: Markâs, Jaeminâs, and Karinaâs.
The two of you had just started taking your stuff out of the trunk when some of your friends met you outside.
âYou survived!â Jaemin cheered.
âBarely,â you groaned, reaching for your pillow.
âWhat happened to your tire, dude?â Mark asked Sungchan.
âGot a nail in it somewhere,â he explained, taking his phone out to shine the flashlight on it. As they looked it over and talked about the car, the others grabbed both yours and Sungchanâs stuff to take into the cabin.
âSo, before you guys got a flat, how exactly did you manage to read the map on your phone so wrong you added three hours to the drive?â Jeno questioned you, your duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
âOur exit was 238, I misread it, thought it was 288,â you explained with a sigh. âWe ended up on the wrong side of the mountain and had to go back around.â
âDamn, itâs a good thing you were with Sungchan when you did that,â Anton laughed, dragging Sungchanâs suitcase in. âAnybody else probably wouldâve lost their shit on you.â
âHe did.â
Everyone who was within earshot turned to look at you.
âWhat?â Anton blinked.
âI mean, he didnât like, go crazy or anything, but he was angry.â
âWeâre talking about the same guy, right? Jung Sungchan, right over there?â Hyuck pointed to where Sungchan and Mark were still chatting by the cars further down the driveway. âHe got like, actually mad at you?â
âUh-huh,â you confirmed. âRaised his voice, yelled, whatever word you want to use. Cursed, too.â
âIâve never even seen him get like, frustratedâŚâ Shotaro whistled.
Hyuck looked between you and Sungchan in disbelief. âWhat the hell?â
âHe apologized,â you added what felt like a pretty important detail.
âIâm sure he did,â Anton snorted, opening the front door. âIâm kind of surprised heâs not still like, begging for your forgiveness.â
âHe apologized for getting upset, I apologized for missing the exit, we moved on.â You shrugged, stepping into the cabin. âAnd the sky didnât fall.â
âYet.â Hyuck scoffed. âWho knows, hell might freeze over before we wake up.â
âSpeaking of, where exactly are we all sleeping?â
The next morning, you slipped out of the king size bed that you, Karina, and Ningning were all sharing and treaded down the darkened hallway as quietly as possible. The sun hadnât risen yet, and you winced when a floorboard creaked underfoot as you passed behind the pull-out couch that Shotaro and Anton had crashed on.
There was already light pouring out of the kitchen when you got there, and a tall figure was standing in front of the stove, a tea kettle on one of the old coil burners. Sungchan was illuminated by the stove light, and turned around when he heard the shuffling of your socks across the tile. It looked like he had already showered and gotten dressed, his hair a little damp as it hung in his eyes, and he was in a fresh t-shirt, shorts, and pair of sneakers.
âYouâre up early,â he commented, keeping his voice low to not disturb the others in the next room.
âYou too,â you replied just as softly.
The kettle began whistling just then, and he immediately flipped open the spout to stop the noise, taking it off the stove. He opened a nearby cabinet to grab a mug.
âTea?�� He offered. âIâm not a big coffee guyâŚâ
âSure,â you accepted, and he took a second mug down. âWhat kind?â
Sungchan went to a different cabinet to get a box of tea sachets. âGreen.â
He dropped a tea bag into each mug, then poured the boiling water over them. He handed you your mug before leaning against a spot by the sink.
âThanks.â You wrapped your hands contentedly around the warm drink.
You lifted your bag up and down by the string, letting it steep as your eyes blinked open and closed, your mind still coming to in the early morning hours. Outside the cabin, you could hear birds singing as the forest woke up too, and you smiled to yourself at the thought.
âSo, uhââ Sungchan cleared his throat awkwardly. âWhatâs the difference between a nice guy and a good guy?â
You opened your eyes, lifting your head to look up at him, slightly amused. You hoped this hadnât kept him up last night. âA nice guy wouldnât have yelled at me in the first place.â
âOh.â He looked a bit ashamed, and also like he might try to apologize again.
âBut that also wouldâve made no opportunity for you to apologize,â you continued. âA nice guy is just nice. A good guy can admit when heâs wrong, because he actually is wrong sometimes. But he fixes it after.â
âHuhâŚâ Sungchan took another sip of his tea. âAre you a philosophy student or something? Gender studies?â
âNo.â You laughed. âJust a compulsive vibe-harsher, like I said.â
âI donât know how being smart harshes the vibe.â
âI⌠find it hard to take things at face value. I always have to evaluate them through some lens. Itâs tough for me to live in the moment, I guess. Doesnât always make me the most fun at parties.â
âYou canât be that much of a bummer, they keep inviting you places.â He had finished his tea, and turned around to wash out the mug before setting it aside to dry. âIâve got to go, I found a place thatâll look at my tire. I called and theyâre open on Saturdays.â
âIâll go with you,â you offered. âIf you want some companyâŚâ
âItâs on the other side of the mountain,â he informed you. âItâll be an all-day thing, you should hang out here with everyone. I think Hyuck said they were going to take the boat out.â
âBut then youâll be all alone and bored in the car all day.â You tilted your head. âIf you just donât want me to come, tell me. Iâll be okay.â
âNo, Y/N, Iâd appreciate the company, but are you sure you want to be stuck in the car with me all day again?â
âJust donât make me navigate and weâll be good.â
âNever again,â he smiled. âYouâll be there purely for entertainment.â
âGreat, let me get changed.â
âAw, I thought the jammies were cute,â Sungchan snickered, and for the first time that morning you processed what you were wearing.
A pair of Sanrio character-patterned sleep shorts that were originally from a pajama set (the matching button-up top had long disappeared), well-loved, and a big t-shirt that your dad had gotten from his work when you were high school, worn in with a couple holes in one of the sleeves and another low on the bottom hemânot in any scandalous areas, hence why you hadnât retired it yet, but definitely not your finest attire.
âShut up!â You hissed, putting your mug down on the counter to cross your arms over your chest. âIâm changing!â
[sungchan: going to get my tire fixed, y/nâs with me. car shop is on the other side of the mountain so weâll be back late afternoon-ish]
[jeno: đ]
âI wasnât kidding, the pajamas were cute,â Sungchan chuckled as he pulled away from the cabin.
The backroads looked much more welcoming and pleasant in the daytime, all tall, green trees and beautiful mountain landscapes.
âYeah, sure,â you snorted, taking over the aux first.
âIs my hoodie over there by the way?â He questioned, pointing to the passenger seat floor. âIt wasnât in my stuff yesterday, I thought it mightâve ended up on the floor or something.â
âOh, sorry, I accidentally took it in with me,â you informed him, remembering when you had finally gotten settled into your room late last night and realized youâd brought the article of clothing in with you in the midst of the hecticness. âIâll give it back to you when we get back to the cabin after this.â
âDonât worry about it, just wondering where it went.â He waved you off nonchalantly, eyes focused on the road as he navigated a curve.
But you werenât going to let him chalant around that so easily. âAnd what does that mean, Sungchan?â
âI like that hoodie and didnât want to have lost it on a mountain in the middle of nowhere?â
âSo, if I were to give it back to you and start borrowing, oh, I donât know, Jenoâs hoodieâŚ?â
âThatâd be weird, because you have a perfectly good one,â he replied simply.
âMhmâŚâ
âAnd clearly, Iâm trying to establish my dominance over the other males and stake my unofficial claim over you by having you wear my clothes,â he looked over at you, voice dripping with sarcasm.
You held his eye contact for a moment before you both burst out laughing. âWhat?!â
âSorry, I tried my hand at harshing the vibe like you,â his eyes crinkled as he laughed. âJust sounded like a fucking weirdo, huh?â
âA bit, yeah.â You wheezed as you tried to catch your breath. âYou also canât sound that sarcastic when you do it. People have to believe that you believe what youâre saying.â
âI didnât though. I mean, not completely. I think.â
âEither commit to the bit or donât.â
He frowned thoughtfully. âBut⌠wouldnât that have made you feel weird? What I just said?â
âOh yeah, I donât buy into all that alpha male social hierarchy bullshit. Itâs based off one study on a pack of wolves thatâs been debunked multiple times.â You shook your head. âBut the second part wasnât an incorrect analysis of flirting and dating dynamics.â
âDamn, youâre good at that,â he chuckled fondly.
âI didnât know that Donghyuck was setting us up, by the way,â you felt the need to clarify in that moment. âNot until⌠right before I apologized?â
âI kind of worked that out eventually,â he sighed. âHe shouldâve told you, by the way.â
âYeah, then maybe I wouldâve been fucking normal.â
âProbably not.â
âGee, thanks.â
âI mean, it was unfair to you to have been in the dark like that.â
âThatâs⌠generous. Here I thought it was unfair to you to have been subjected to me like that.â
âI was a bit confused as to why Donghyuck told me he had the perfect person for me and then every time I talked to you, you either ran away or seemed to hate me for no good reason,â he admitted.
âI truly wonder what his thought process wasâŚâ You mused. âHe meets you playing pickup basketball, you turn out to be nicest guy heâs ever met, and his first thought is to introduce you to me? Weird.â
âWhy is that weird?â Sungchan tilted his head. âI think youâre cool.â
âI mean, Iâm not nice. Or, itâs definitely not one of my defining characteristics. Wouldnât you want to set up your two nicest single friends with each other?â
âThey might get bored of each other,â he muttered.
You looked at him curiously. âDo you think youâre boring, Sungchan?â
He shrugged. âIsnât that what people say? âOh heâs⌠a nice guy.â When they canât think of anything else about you because youâre boring.â
âIâve had plenty of fun with you,â you assured him. âIncluding being stuck in a car with you for six hours and getting a flat tire.â
âI havenât exactly been my usual self with youâŚâ He confessed quietly.
âOh?â
âI donât get upset with people, or tease them like this, or say weird stuff to try to harsh the vibe on purpose.â
You couldnât help but let out a peal of laughter. âMaybe you are usually pretty boring, then.â
âI think⌠because youâve already seen me get mad, and we got past that, I feel like I can try out being things other than nice with you?â He seemed to have been picking his words very carefully. âDoes that make sense?â
âYeah, Sungchan, it makes sense,â you affirmed. âAre you seriously saying you donât joke around with the others?â
âI joke around, but Iâm not really like⌠sarcastic, I guess. I donât want to say something and hurt someoneâs feelings either because they didnât get that it was a joke, or even if they did, because it went too far.â
âThatâs fair, but⌠you have to trust people.â
âComing from the woman who said she doesnât trust hot people?â He questioned pointedly.
âOkay, fair,â you chuckled. âBut hear me out.â
âGo for it.â
âIf your friend said or did something that hurt your feelings, and you didnât tell them that directly, would you expect them to know?â
He seemed to think about this for a moment, then shook his head. âNo, they canât read my mind. I would need to tell them so we can talk about it.â
âThen why do you have higher standards for yourself as a friend than you have for your friends?â
Sungchanâs mouth dropped open, then closed, then opened again, then closed once more as he frowned deeply, his brows knitting together.
You continued, âYou have to trust your friends to tell you when theyâre hurt by something you say or do. If you spend your whole life assuming what your friendsâ feelings are instead actually letting them tell you, youâre just forcing your own expectations onto them without their input. And itâs also not fair to you to constantly be living your life trying to minimize all these perceived slights against people. Not to mentionâsometimes someoneâs feelings can get hurt and you didnât really do anything wrong.â
He laughed nervously. âNot philosophy or gender studies grad student; I think Iâm going to skip right over psychology and just go straight for all-knowing deity that can see straight into my soul?â
âBeen thinking about updating my LinkedIn to Professional Yapper, but I think I like that better,â you grinned, handing his phone back over to him. âYour turn on the aux.â
âItâs fixable,â the tire shop owner confirmed. âShould take an hour or so. Itâs just me and my son and we have a couple customers ahead of you. You and your girlfriend are welcome to wait here, or, you know, itâs lunchtime, thereâs a restaurant thatâs a five-minute walk down the road.â
He pointed in presumably the general direction of it.
âRight, uhm, hereâs my number, in case weâre not here when itâs done.â Sungchan wrote his number down on a notepad on the front desk in the small tire shop.
The older man pulled the paper towards him, flashing the both of you a smile. âIf you go to lunch, tell Mrs. Han I sent you.â
âThank you.â He nodded to the man before you both stepped away from the counter, and the owner walked into the back where the cars were.
You looked up at Sungchan questioningly. âI could do lunch. Are you hungry?â
âSure,â he agreed. âBeats sitting here for an hour. After sitting in the car for two days straight, Iâd like to walk for a bit.â
There was of course no sidewalk, so the two of you had to walk on the shoulder of the road, the odd vehicle zipping by every so often and kicking up your hair. Sungchan kept himself between you and the road, meaning that you were on the grassier part of the shoulder, but you didnât mind, taking the opportunity to look for wildflowers by your feet.
âDid we really look like a couple?â You asked, stopping to bend over and pick a yellow wildflower, then continued your walk.
âWe were a man and woman alone in the middle of nowhere with car trouble,â Sungchan pointed out. âI donât think the first assumption would be that we met a week ago.â
âHm, fair.â
âHe probably sees a lot of couples coming out here for romantic getaways breaking down or getting flats or whatever.â
âSounds like the beginning of a horror movieâŚâ You picked a stalk of small white flowers. âOr the first five minutes of a crime procedural.â
Sungchan grabbed a purple flower and held it out to you. âTruly a miracle that we survived.â
âAre you a mechanic or something?â
âWhy? Because I know how to change a tire?â
You shrugged. âItâs a guess. You guessed that I was a philosophy student because I like to yap.â
âNot a mechanic.â
âYou going to make me keep guessing?â
âIâve guessed what you do three times now and youâve yet to tell me.â He elbowed you. âI think you can handle a little more suspense about me.â
You swatted his arm away. âI donât know if all-knowing deity should really countâŚâ
âI was being so serious, hand on my heart.â He laid his hand over his chest dramatically.
âWell, I know itâs not pro basketball player,â you hummed teasingly. âAnton says you suck.â
âMy three-pointer could use some workâŚâ
âPretty much our whole complex is grad students or young professionals... Are you in school?â
âYou havenât given me any hints.â
âYou havenât asked for any.â
He watched you step a little further from the road to get a pink flower from a patch before rejoining him. âIâll answer if you answer.â
âA bargain?â You grinned, taking your gaze off the blue flowers that you had been eyeing up ahead of you and turning it up to Sungchan next to you. âIâll take it. You first.â
âIâm a student. Your turn.â
âBoth,â you answered. âI take night classes.â
âI have to guess two things for you?â
âWhat do we win if we guess right, anyway?â You asked.
âY/N...â Sungchan stared you down at you avoiding his question.
âFine, if you can guess one, Iâll tell you the other,â you acquiesced. âSo whatâs the prize?â
âWinning isnât enough?â He questioned.
âYouâre the one who turned it into a game.â
âPretty sure youâre the one who did that, but okay,â he teased back. âI donât know, what do you think it should it be? You suggested a prize.â
You hummed, stepping away from the road to reach for a bright blue flower, having to lean over to one side as the ground sloped down steeply in this area. A few pieces of gravel under your feet tumbled downhill, and Sungchan grabbed your forearm that was close to him to balance you as you picked the flower. Still hunched over, using your new stability with his hold on you to stretch your arm even further out towards a pretty orange one, you suggested, âWinner picks our first date when we get back home?â
âDate?â He echoed, his grip slipping on you for a moment.
You yelped as you nearly lost your balance, and Sungchan barely caught you from tumbling down the hillside, jerking you back towards him. You landed on your ass at his feet, huffing as you looked up at him.
âSorry,â he said sheepishly, moving to offer you a hand up.
You took it, standing back up and brushing yourself off. Picking the orange wildflower first, you then threatened, âIf you push me down this mountain for real, Iâm taking you with me.â
âYeah, thatâs deserved,â he chuckled. âI was just, uhm, surprised.â
âDonghyuck tried to set us upâfailed stupendously, which I mean, itâs Hyuck, whatâs new?âbut weâve been flirting, I have your hoodie, unless something goes terribly wrong in the next two weeks, that would be the next step, right?â You pointed out. âI wasnât planning on overanalyzing this butâŚâ
Sungchan let out a round of giggles, his whole face scrunching up as he laughed. âOh⌠you donât know how relieved I am right now to hear you overanalyze that for me.â
âWhatâŚ?â
âNo offense, but itâs a bit hard to tell when youâre analyzing and when youâre flirting,â he admitted, still looking at you with a wide, fond grin. âI mean, this all literally started with you calling me stupidly hot and that somehow being a bad thing.â
You pursed your lips ruefully. âI can see how that mightâve been confusingâŚâ
âNo, itâs great,â he chuckled. âYouâre great.â
Finally sitting in a booth in the small roadside restaurant, which only had a handful of other customers, the two of you had put in your orders with Mrs. Han and were sipping on your drinks as you went back to your guessing game from the walk.
âWe have to guess before we get back to the cabin,â you determined, folding your hands in front of you. âOther people there know us. They might say something.â
Sungchan nodded from across the table. âGood point. Time limit, I like it.â
âBusiness major. MBA,â you started immediately.
âWhat? No,â he snorted incredulously.
âItâs basically Undeclared for people who donât want to disappoint their parents, I had to guess it, sorry.â
âLiterature, writing, MFA, something in there?â
âNo, and that was like two guesses, so I get two this time.â You clicked your tongue. âMasterâs in education, focus in coaching pedagogy.â
âThat was one?â
âYeah.â
âNo.â
âOkay, my second: International Relations.â
âNo.â He cracked his knuckles. âIâm switching gears, because you seem to know a lot of degrees off the top of your head. You work in the Registrarâs Office?â
âNo.â
âDamn! Wait, no, youâre an academic advisor?â
âNope.â
âGraduate advisor.â
âNo, and that was three in a row, Sungchan,â you pointed out humorously.
âI know. Alright, your three?â
âCan I ask a question to narrow it down instead?â
He squinted suspiciously. âWhat kind of question?â
âTo help me narrow the field down. I wonât ask you to tell me the field, theyâll still be yes or no questions.â
âYes, only if I can ask you the same.â
âItâd only be fair,â you confirmed. âSTEM?â
âNo.â
âOh thank God,â you let out a groan of relief.
He laughed. âWhatâs wrong with people in STEM fields?â
âListen, love a woman in STEM,â you defended yourself. âMen in STEM⌠theyâre⌠how do I put this nicely? Insufferable know-it-alls?â
âThatâs putting it nicely?â
âYup.â You took a sip of your drink. âDonât tell me itâs Finance eitherâŚâ
âNo.â
âOkay, I have one moreâŚâ You tapped your finger to your chin. âIs it a Fine Art?â
âNo.â Sungchan looked down at the small bunch of flowers that you had set aside on the table. âWhat are you going to do with those?â
You shrugged. âI donât know. Look at them for a while. Take pretty pictures for my Instagram. Toss them eventually, I guess. Theyâre not gonna live forever.â
Selecting one of the little pink flowers, you reached across the table to tuck it behind Sungchanâs ear. âThere.â
He touched the flower, a similar shade of pink dusting his cheeks. âThanks.â
âYour turn to guess.â
âSTEM?â
âMath is my worst enemy, numbers were invented to harm me personally,â you retorted. âNo.â
âI shouldâve known,â he teased.
Mrs. Han brought your food out then, and you both thanked her before she bustled off to take care of a family that had just walked in. There was a pause in your conversation as you started eating. The food was delicious, and as you took another sip to wash it down, you looked out the window next to your table.
âThe view is just crazy here,â you gushed, taking in the mountainside dotted with more colorful patches of wildflowers. You patted your pocket for your phone, then frowned when you couldnât find it. âWhereâs myââ
Wordlessly, Sungchan picked it up from the tabletop and held it out to you. You smiled at him. âOh, thanks! Didnât even see it.â
After taking a few pictures, you set your phone back down and returned to your guessing game. âLaw?â
He shook his head, still chewing, and wiped his face before speaking with a clear mouth. âNope. Are your job and what youâre studying related at all?â
âYes.â
âHuh. I donât think that actually helped me at all.â
âEducation?â
âMm, yes to the field, but I will make you narrow it down further,â Sungchan acquiesced.
You beamed at having finally gotten closer. âSo I was on the right track with my second guess!â
âAre you doing a Fine Art?â
âNo. Masterâs in Early Childhood Education?â
He let out a soft chuckle as he sat back in the booth, holding his hands up in surrender. âYou win.â
âYes!â You cheered quietly, pumping a fist victoriously at eye level. âI was going to start at Early Childhood and keep going up in age bracket until I got a yes.â
âSo?â He prompted you. âWhat do you do?â
âRight now, Iâm a primary school teacher and I tutor on the side for some extra cash.â You watched his eyes grow wide as you revealed this. âAnd Iâm taking a mix of night classes and online classes to get my degree in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies.â
âAnd thatâs aâŚ?â
âDoctorate.â
âWowâŚâ He breathed out. âDonghyuck really didnât tell me anything about you before dragging me over to you at his party but uhââ
âMaybe he figured heâs got one friend who is a teacher and one who wants to be a teacher, might as well?â You suggested with humor in your tone, reaching for your glass.
âYeah, maybe,â he laughed, his eyes sparkling as he kept looking at you.
When you and Sungchan finally got back to the cabin, you found it entirely devoid of your other friends.
âNo welcoming party this time?â You scoffed, gesturing to the empty living room. âNow Iâm thinking we should just keep the free fudge Mrs. Han gave us all to ourselves.â
âHyuck did say they were going to take the boat out,â Sungchan reminded you, placing the bag containing said free fudge onto the kitchen counter. âAnd thereâs no way the two of us could eat all that by ourselves before they got back.â
You made a small âhmphâ sound, moving to the large sliding glass door in the living room that afforded a view of the lake. The sun glistened off the water, and from here you couldnât even see the next closest neighbor.
âDo you want to go down to the dock?â Sungchan suggested, joining you by the door. âThey took the boat, but that doesnât mean weâre stuck inside.â
âSo,â Sungchan followed you down the pathway from the back porch down to the dock. âOnce you have your degree, do you still want to be a teacher?â
âYeah, my kids are why Iâm getting it in the first place,â you explained, carefully picking your way down the steep decline. âI want to be able to advocate on behalf of them better, and understand whatâs going on when the people who arenât teachers are making decisions that affect us.â
âWhat year do you teach?â
âI provide supplemental curricula for all ages. Reading and writing mostly.â You peeked back at him over your shoulder. âDo you have an age you want to teach?â
A giddy smile tugged at his lips. âLittle ones. Preschool. Theyâre so⌠Everythingâs new to them. Itâs so much fun seeing the world like that.â
âYeah, it is.â You could feel that you were smiling too, turning your eyes back down to watch your step.
Soon, you were down on the dock, laid out on your towel as you enjoyed a puddle of sunlight, listening to the sounds of Sungchan splashing around in the water in front of you.
âYouâre going to get skin cancer like that.â
Propping yourself up on one elbow, you looked over your sunglasses at where Sungchan had climbed back up the ladder and was sitting on the edge of the dock, pushing his wet hair out of his face. Like youâd said before, stupidly attractive.
âYou literally helped me apply my sunscreen,â you drawled pointedly, recalling when heâd so coyly offered to help you get your back. Pushing your sunglasses back into place, you laid down again. âIf I do, itâs your fault.â
You could hear him stand up and walk towards you. âIâve never understood laying in the sun like that. Donât you get all sweaty?â
âHavenât you heard? Iâm cold-blooded,â you replied humorously.
âWell, do you think you can survive one swim, or will your blood turn sludge in your veins as soon as you touch water?â
You snickered, finally sitting up. âFine, fine, Iâll get in.â
Sungchan watched you get to your feet, then offered his hand out. You eyed it suspiciously.
âIâm getting in,â you promised, pointing to the ladder.
He offered his hand more insistently. âItâs not that bad. Jump in with me.â
You sighed, grabbing his hand. âFine.â
Stepping up the edge of the dock with him, he swung your clasped hands in time as he counted, âOne, twoââ
âThree!â You finished, pulling him forward with you.
He rushed to bring his other hand up to plug his nose as you careened the both of you off the dock and into the lake. The water surged up around you, cool but not cold, not too warm to be gross, just refreshing enough. You squeezed your eyes shut as you went under, and let go of Sungchanâs hand so you could paddle back up to the surface. Wiping the water from your eyes, you laughed as he immediately pointed an accusatory finger at you.
âDragging your heels only to pull me off!â He was grinning too.
âIâm sorry, did I see you plugging your nose?â You teased back. âAt your big age?â
âIâm not getting a brain-eating amoeba, thank you,â he retorted. âYou were asleep, but there was this billboard we passed on our way here warning people about it.â
âBut do you know how to blow nose bubbles, Sungchan?â
âWell, no.â
âOkay, mini-swim lesson,â you declared, waving him closer. âCome on, I used to teach water safety to little kids. If I can teach a two-year-old to stop snorting water, I believe in you.â
âYou taught swim lessons?â
âYeah, it was my first job, in high school.â You locked back into instructing. âYou can blow your nose, right?â
He looked at you blankly. âYes.â
âHey, some people have body awareness issues, itâs always better to ask.â You held your hands up defensively. âSo, same mechanics, air goes out into the water, keep your mouth closed, and donât inhale through your nose right after while itâs still underwater.â
You did a small demonstration for him, only submerging from your chin to your nose, letting out a slow stream of bubbles. Bringing your face back up, you added, âAnd try not to exhale all at once.â
Sungchan mirrored your actions, lowering his face until his nose was underwater, slowly exhaling. He uncertainly lifted his head again after, eyes on you.
You smiled and clapped your hands. âYay! There we go!â
âThat was... weirdly easy.â He immediately did it again.
âNow you just have to think about doing it all the time, until you donât have to think about doing it.â You rolled over onto your back, relaxing as you floated. âThen youâll never have to worry about plugging your nose again.â
âIf you used to be a swim instructor, why didnât you want to swim?â Sungchan followed after you curiously as you drifted away.
âBecause then I do stuff like give grown men lessons on how to blow nose bubbles.â
âThat was helpful.â
âAndââ You popped up to tread water again, facing Sungchan. âI kind of hate lakes. And oceans. Anything that I canât see the bottom in, and where stuff lives. Like fish, or brain-eating amoebas. I like my pools.â
His face fell. âOh, well we can get outââ
âI said kind of,â you cut him off. âI donât mind, because you wanted to swim, and Iâm having fun with you.â
âButââ
âSungchan.â You held his gaze steadily, keeping your voice calm, inquisitive even. âHave you ever done something you donât really care for, because your friends or family wanted to?â
âWell, yeah.â
âTheyâre worth it?â
âOf course.â
You tilted your head with a knowing smile. âSo are you.â
His face flushed with what you knew wasnât the heat of the sun. âOh...â
The sound of a boat motor in the distance caught your attention. Coming around a bend in the trees was, in fact, a boat, and while you couldnât make out any individual faces at this distance, the fact that it was headed right towards you, and several of the figures were jumping and waving at you, you could guess that it held all your friends.
âWell, thereâs everyone,â you laughed, heading back towards the dock.
Some days later, you were contentedly relaxed in a hammock that had been suspended between two trees in the spacious backyard of the cabin, humming along to a song playing from Ningningâs phone as you half-listened to whatever juicy piece of gossip that the other two were divulging. A cool night breeze passed over your bare arms and legs, pricking up goosebumps in its wake, and you shivered.
âIâm going to grab a sweater or something,â you declared, getting down from the hammock. Picking up your empty drink can from the table nearby, you added, âNot to mention, Iâm out of seltzer.â
âCan you see if we have any more chocolate-covered pretzels?â Karina requested.
âSure.â You grabbed some of the other trash to take in with you.
You passed by the guys playing video games in the living room as you headed for the kitchen, tossing the garbage out first. After throwing on a hoodie from your room, you went back into the living room, fully intending on checking the kitchen for Karinaâs snack. Instead, you were met by a desperate, raucous chorus of yells of your name.
âHm?â You looked up at the guys questioningly, stopping in your tracks.
Mark waved you over fervently. âCome here! We need an even number.â
âWhat are you guys playing?â You took a hesitant step closer, eyes scrutinizing the game menu.
âDonât worry about it, itâs a button masher, super easy,â Shotaro reassured you, grabbing your arm and pulling you into the living room. âSungchanâs not even half-bad at it.â
âYeah, you can uh, you can even be on Sungchanâs team,â Hyuck said, exchanging a mischievous grin with a couple of your other friends.
âOkay,â you shrugged, plopping down into the space that Sungchan had made for you between him and the arm of the couch. A controller was pushed into your hand. Karinaâs pretzels could wait.
âThis moves your character around, this one is to jump, this one is to attack, this one is to shield,â Sungchan quietly explained the controls to you as the others started assigning teams, hands hovering over yours on the controller. âThereâs some other special moves, but those are the basics. Just uh, stay away from Hyuck.â
You nodded. âGot it.â
âNice hoodie by the way,â he added, much softer.
âThanks...â You murmured back, well aware that you were wearing his from the car.
âAlright!â Jaemin announced loudly. âLetâs do it!â
Now, you didnât exactly consider yourself a gamer. In fact, you spent most of the time either running away from the other guys, or at one point, accidentally falling off the level and losing a life all on your own. You couldnât even tell if you were even really helping Sungchan at all. But it was fun, and you were kind of maybe starting to get a hang of the controls by the end of the round. To your surprise, the two characters that popped up as winners, however, were yours and Sungchanâs.
âWe won?â You questioned, looking at Sungchan in surprise.
âLooks like we did,â he confirmed, smiling down at the controller in his hand.
âHell yeah!â You held a hand up for him to high five.
âSungchan, what the hell?â Shotaro smacked his arm from his other side.
âSince when have you been good at video games?â Jaemin interjected from the other couch.
âHave you been sucking on purpose this whole time and just decided to reveal that you were good now?â Mark questioned accusatorily.
âYeah, we were joking when we said he was only half-bad at this game, heâs actually ass at it,â Anton clarified to you, making you roll your eyes at their apparent plan to give you the worst player.
âSorry Y/N, heâs on my team next,â Hyuck declared, bringing up the character selections and switching Sungchanâs team color to match his own.
âHey, change that back,â Sungchan said, his voice level but firm.
Hyuck actually stopped in his tracks, looking back at Sungchan with wide eyes. He held his hands up in surrender.
Sungchan switched his team color back to match yours with no interference from the others. You lightly bumped your leg against his as the room chatter started back up. He bumped your leg back.
The next day, everyone went out on a hike. There was a slightly overgrown trail that went around the mountainside, taking lazy twists and turns through the trees. Said greenery provided you with plenty of shade, and concealed the lake below from you so well it almost felt like you had transported elsewhere. The trail was narrow, however, only fitting three people comfortably at its widest points, but usually only two, so your group was spread out thin along it.
Jaemin and Hyuck were up front, arguing about⌠something that you couldnât parse out from your place all the way at the back. Turning to Sungchan beside you, you took your water bottle out of the side pocket of the backpack he was wearing. Somehow he had been burdened with most of the groupâs supplies, and while you werenât exactly doing any sort of survivalist stuff out here, you didnât see why everyone couldnât at least carry their own water bottles.
Taking a swig from your bottle, you kept it in your hand as you pointed at him accusingly, âYou didnât suddenly get good at that game out of nowhere last night, Sungchan.â
He rubbed the back of his neck. âAh, I meanâŚâ
âWere you sucking on purpose so nobodyâs feelings got hurt?â
âI didnât suck. I was just sort of⌠okay.â He tried to explain. âI donât know if it was on purpose, I guess I just didnât care if everyone knew that I was the best? Iâm just not super competitive, really.â
âI donât think Iâve ever seen Hyuck speechless like that before either.â You laughed at the memory. âYou donât ever stand up for yourself with them like that, do you?â
âItâs not like they bully me or anythingâŚâ
âYou just go with the flow?â
âYeah, exactly,â he seemed to relax again at your words.
âI had fun playing on your team last night,â you said, taking another sip. âWin or lose. Iâm glad you didnât go with the flow that time.â
âHey, hold still?â Sungchan requested, reaching a hand out towards your face.
You froze warily. âWhat is it? A bug?â
âNo, no,â he reassured you, brushing your hair back from one side of your head, then the other. âDid you leave the cabin with only one earring in?â
âShit, no!â Your hands flew up to clutch at your lobes, immediately feeling that one of them was empty. You looked down at the ground around your feet, despite the sinking feeling in your stomach that it was useless. There was nothing around you but dirt and grass. âDamn it!â
Sungchan made an effort to look under him as well, but came up empty-handed too. âI donât see anythingâŚâ
âWell, damn,â you sighed, dropping your hands back down to your sides. âCouldâve been worse, I guess. Couldâve been my grandmotherâs pearls or something instead of a pair of earrings I stole from my freshman roommate.â
âSeriously?â He laughed as you continued down the trail.
âIt was an accident! MostlyâŚâ You explained. âWe borrowed each otherâs stuff all the time, and when we moved out at the end of the year, the earrings ended up in my stuff. I told her I had them and she said I could keep them. Apparently they always made her ears itch anyway.â
âSucks you lost one, though. I thought the little hearts were really cute.â
âJust like you thought my raggedy old t-shirt was cute?â You snorted.
âExactly.â
âWhy do you get shotgun, Y/N?â Anton complained from the backseat, his voice loud to be heard over the wind.
âBecause itâs my car,â Sungchan retorted, his thumb tapping out a rhythm on the steering wheel. âAnd I said so.â
You couldnât help but snicker at the image of poor Anton and his lanky limbs squished into the middle seat between Shotaro and Mark. âYou couldâve stayed at the cabin, Anton.â
âI was bored.â He crossed his arms. âAnd I thought Sungchan wouldâve at least been sympathetic to his fellow long-legged brethren.â
âBut the baby always gets the middle seat.â You turned around to pinch his cheek.
âI am notââ
âCouldâve fooled me,â Sungchan sighed, looking out the window. âWith the way youâre whining right now.â
Antonâs jaw dropped as the other three of you broke into howling laughter.
Soon enough, you arrived at your destination, a natural park with a huge cave system. The main attraction, however, was that one section of the tunnels was so dark that you couldnât even see your own hand in front of your face.
A small family, and field trip for what looked like a summer camp had arrived just before you all, and were put in the same tour group as your friends. You watched from afar with amusement as the counselors put the children into buddy pairs before the tour guide officially began the tour.
âHey, donât you teach, Y/N?â Shotaro asked curiously as your own group took up the rear of the tour, nodding towards all the kids.
âYeah, I do,â you answered, the air immediately becoming cooler as you stepped into the caves. âPrimary school.â
âJungchan over here wants to be a teacher too!â Anton informed you cheerily, slapping Sungchan on the shoulder, the sound cracking through the entire cave loudly.
Several heads turned around to look at the source of the noise, and you all looked around at the walls of the cave innocently until they turned forward again. The cave was getting darker and darker, the lights strung up by the park employees getting fewer and further between. Your eyes continued to adjust to the changing light, but your surroundings were becoming less made up of clear objects with definable features and more the vague outline of shapes.
âOh, really?â You asked mildly, barely concealing the humor in your tone.
âEarly childhood education,â he replied calmly, hand sneaking up to pinch your side.
It took everything in you not to squeal as you squirmed away from his hand, elbowing his arm. You could hear the light puffs of his silent laughter next to you. Right as you had lifted your own hand up to retaliate, the tour group came to a stop, everything was pitch black around you, and Sungchanâs hand caught yours, lacing your fingers together. There were no lights in here, and the childrenâs excited chatter rose as the counselors spoke back to them to confirm that they were still there as well. You held your free hand up in front of your face, and the only way you knew it was there was because you could feel that it was. The only thing your eyes saw was darkness.
âThatâs freaky,â Shotaro commented from somewhere behind you.
âWhat the hell, man?â Mark was somewhere to your other side. âDude, I canât see my hand! Just like it said online!â
âOh! There you are, Shotaro!â Anton breathed out a sigh of relief.
âYeah, I didnât disappear in the five seconds since we walked in here,â Shotaro grunted. âDid you have to practically climb on top of me to confirm that?â
You reached out tentatively towards Sungchan, your hand eventually bumping into his chest. âAh, found you.â
âFound me,â he echoed quietly.
The tour guide started ushering everyone out of the sector, and as the light started entering your vision again, your fingers unwound from Sungchanâs. The counselorâs voices floated back to you as they took a headcount of all their kids, who were still dutifully holding onto their assigned buddies.
Soft footsteps at the top of the stairs caught your attention, and you looked up from your laptop at the tall figure hovering there awkwardly. You offered Sungchan a soft smile, waving him into the small attic loft space. There wasnât much up here except the couch that you were on, a narrow table, and a dartboard. The ceiling was so low that Sungchan had to hunch just the slightest to avoid knocking his forehead into the wooden crossbeams.
âHey.â You pushed yourself up into a proper sitting position on the couch, your computer moving from your stomach to your lap.
âWhy arenât you out with everyone else?â He sat down in the space that you had freed up. The others had all gathered outside around the firepit to roast marshmallows and drink, but you had other things to tend to.
You nodded to the device. âAh, I had some grading to do.â
âI thought you were on summer break.â
âTutoring.â You set the laptop aside on the coffee table, even as your eyes caught on the screen fondly. âOne of my students, I mean, she doesnât need it for her grades. But she just loves writing, so her mom pays for sessions like private workshops. Iâm working on her newest story right now.â
âHow is it?â
âSheâs so creative!â You couldnât help but laugh. âIt amazes me every time. She hasnât quite figured out resolutions yet, still rushes through them once sheâs decided sheâs done with the exciting part. But sheâs gotten a lot better with dialogue. She used to not write it at all, just tell you what characters said, never putting anything in quotes, you know?â
âItâs typed?â He questioned, looking at the word document on your screen.
âYeah, she has coordination issues, pencils kind of slow her down,â you explained. âSheâs working on it in her occupational therapy. But thatâs not what this is for. This is to let her be creative. If I forced her to use a pencil, sheâd have to stop writing because her hands were done before her brain was done.â
âThat... sounds frustrating for her.â
âThereâs other options now. I mean, whenâs the last time you actually used a pencil in your everyday life?â
He seemed to think about this for a moment. â...Good point.â
There was a pause as Sungchan just kept looking at you, the moment feeling much like when you were in the restaurant, his dark brown eyes sparkling even in the dim lighting you had now.
âDid you miss me, Sungchan?â You eyed him teasingly.
âWell, yeah,â he agreed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. âAnd I wanted to make sure you were alright.â
âWhat did you tell everyone else you were doing when you came looking for me?â
âI didnât make an announcement or anything.â
âYeah?â You sat up closer to him, then did a double-take as you noticed a hole in his earlobe. âHey, I never noticed you had your ears pierced.â
âOnly one.â He turned his head to show you the other, unadulterated lobe. âProbably why you didnât notice, youâve always been on my other side in the car.â
An idea immediately came to your mind, and you stood up from the couch. âWait here.â
Traversing through the house, you came back up the stairs with your prize clutched triumphantly in the palm of your hand. You held your closed fist out towards him indicatively. âHere.â
He held his hand out, letting you drop the single red heart stud into it. His eyes widened as he turned it over with a fingertip. âYouâreâŚâ
âI washed it, donât worry.â
Sungchan promptly put the stud in, securing it with the backing and looking up at you again with a delighted, amazed smile.
âCute,â you commented, tracing the shell of his ear with a fingertip.
âAnd what does this mean, Y/N?â He asked slyly.
âWhat am I going to do with only one earring?â You replied with feigned innocence. âAnd, I was kind of hoping youâd need help putting it on, since thereâs no mirrors in here...â
He leaned back against the couch. âAnd how exactly would you have helped me put it on?â
âWell, I canât really see from here, so, I wouldâve had to get closerââ You stepped forward, putting your hands on his shoulders as you lowered yourself onto his lap. You kept your focus on his face the whole time, watching for any hesitation, any uncertainty, any indication that you should stop. His eyes watched you with rapt attention, big and brown and awe-filled.
âGood?â You asked quietly, your voice barely above a hum.
He swallowed, his throat bobbing up and down, and your eyes followed the movement, before he answered, âGood.â
âThen I wouldâve put the earring inââ You once again outlined the outer shell of his ear, continuing down the line of his jaw. âAnd probably said something about the adorable little freckle you have on the bridge of your nose that I kind of want to bite.â
You tapped said freckle, high up on his nose, nearly between his brows, and his face split into a grin as he laughed breathily.
âBite?â He repeated, clearly amused at the idea.
âMhm.â You nodded, looping your arms around his neck. âYouâve got a very biteable nose, Iâm afraid.â
âOh, the whole nose is biteable, not just the freckle,â he chuckled, settling his hands on your hips.
âWell, more than just the nose.â
âY/N.â
âMm?â
âCan I kiss you?â
You gasped in feigned shock. âBefore our first date?â
âDo I need to ask your hand in marriage first?â He was so close that your noses almost touched now, his question mingling with your answer that came soon after.
âNo,â you snickered, letting him seal his lips over yours in the next moment.
âYou mauled him.â
Turning around from where you were eating a bowl of cereal, you raised an eyebrow at Hyuck. âGood morning to you too, Hyuck. And nice bedhead.â
He didnât fix his hair that was sticking up in all directions, coming around to flop into the seat across the table from you. âWhat do you have to say for yourself?â
âI donât know who or what youâre talking about?â You snorted. Pushing the box towards him, you offered, âCereal?â
âCare to tell me why Sungchan is covered in hickies and bite marks?â
âCare to tell me how you know that?â
âHe sleeps shirtless, donât try to avoid.â
âWhy do you think it was me?â
âHe disappeared from the bonfire last night and didnât return, you didnât show up at all, he appears the next morning coincidentally looking like heâs been someoneâs chew toy. Youâre... you.â
You cocked your head at him curiously. âWerenât you trying to set us up?â
âI was. I still am, kind of,â he sighed. âLike I said, Sungchanâs the nicest guy I know. Donât... chew him up and spit him out, please.â
âIâm touched you think so highly of me, truly.â
âThat didnât come out right,â he groaned, rubbing his face with two hands. âI meant... Make sure you two are on the same page about what youâre doing and what you want.â
âWe are, Hyuck,â you told him quietly.
Hyuck peeked at you over his hands, and based on the crinkles that formed around his eyes, you could perfectly imagine the mischievous grin that was hidden. âSo it was you, then?â
Footsteps entered the kitchen then, followed by Sungchanâs voice, deeper with the early hours of the morning, âOh, morning, Y/N, Hyuck.â
He stopped next to your seat at the end of the table, seeming uncertain of just how close to be to you. He was wearing a longsleeve, which didnât help much with the few marks on his neck and under his jaw. The red heart stud was still in his ear, which made your chest squeeze and your whole body thrum with happiness.
âMorning, Sungchan,â you said brightly, gesturing to the cereal box. âCereal? Hyuck didnât want any.â
âOh, sure.â
âSit, Iâll get your bowl.â You stood up, gently pushing him towards the table as you walked by him towards the cabinets.
âGross, could you not do that in front of me?â Donghyuck made an exaggerated gagging sound.
âDo what?â Sungchan squinted at him in confusion at the same time that you scoffed, âNobodyâs holding you here at gunpoint. Go back to sleep.â
âMaybe I will.â He made a grand display of pushing his chair back and standing up.
âYouâve never been a morning person.â You shook your head at him. âSee you in a few hours.â
As he shuffled back out of the kitchen, you returned to your mission of fetching a bowl and the milk, bringing them back to the table for Sungchan. Heâd taken the seat next to yours, and you happily plopped back down beside him.
âThanks,â he murmured, beginning to fix a bowl of cereal for himself.
âGood one sleeping shirtless, by the way. Hyuck had absolutely no questions,â you teased, finger poking one of the hickies facing you.
Sungchan gave you a pointed stare, but made no move to knock your hand away. âOh and who couldnât keep her teeth to herself?â
âI told you: Youâre biteable.â
He reached up to grab your hand and removed it from where you'd still been messing with the marks youâd left on his throat. Instead of just pushing it away, he brought your joined hands down to rest on his leg. After a beat, he looked up at you, uncertainty in his gaze, as if he were about to belatedly ask permission.
You laced your fingers together, scooting your chair closer to his before picking up your spoon with your free hand.
As the anchor was dropped into the water, there was an excited buzz about the boat, everyone getting ready to get in the water. Hyuck had stopped the boat by a rope swing that was set up in a tree on one of the steep edges of where the mountain met the lake. A few inflatables were tied to the boat so they wouldnât drift away, and of course, a couple coolers with plenty of drinks were on deck.
âY/N, can you help me with my sunscreen?â Ningning requested, holding the bottle out to you.
âNing, I told you to apply it at the cabin,â you sighed, accepting the sunscreen nevertheless as she took her coverup off.
âItâs not my fault weâre currently sharing one bathroom with like five other people!â She pointed out. âI didnât have time.â
Sudden wolf whistles and dramatic yells from the back of the boat made you snap your head over, anger flooding your body immediately. But you realized that none of them were aimed at you and Ningning. Instead, the guys seemed to all be taunting Sungchan, who had just taken his shirt off, revealing the full extent of the love bites scattered on his skin.
âDude, did you get mauled by a bear or something?â Mark laughed.
âOr fall down the mountain?â Antonâs eyes were wide as he went to poke one on Sungchanâs shoulder.
Sungchan slapped his hand away. âPersonal space?â
âFall down the mountain after getting mauled by a bear?â Jaemin proposed helpfully, moving behind him as if inspecting a product that he was purchasing at a store. âWe got claw marks, guys!â
They all let out teasing cheers, and you could see that Sungchanâs ears were bright red. You shook your head to yourself, going back to helping Ningning with her sunscreen.
She craned her neck to be able to look at you over her shoulder. âNice one, Y/N.â
âWho, me?â You blinked at her innocently.
âYou left that poor boy to deal with those menaces by himself.â
Youâd finished up with her sunscreen, handing her the bottle. âOne sec.â
Walking over to where the guys were still razzing Sungchan, who now looked prematurely sunburned, you held a hand up to shade your eyes, squinting as you looked off towards the rope swing.
âI bet Shotaro could make it there first,â you commented casually.
âWhat?!â They all looked over at you, dumbfounded.
âNo way!â Anton argued. âI literally used to be a swimmer.â
âBut if youâre talking enduranceââ Jeno tried to vouch for himself.
âAll your big muscles just make you sink, dude,â Hyuck snorted. âYouâve got no buoyancy.â
As they kept squabbling, you were still eyeing the rope swing. âYeah, but, Taroâs like, halfway there already.â
Their heads whipped around to see that Shotaro had, in fact, been lazily paddling towards the swing all the while they were teasing Sungchan. The guys all rushed to toss off whatever shirts, shoes, hats, or sunglasses they didnât want to get wet, practically shoving each other in their haste to get in the water and race towards the rope swing. The boat swayed a little with their movements, and you grabbed Sungchanâs arm for stability, the only one of them who hadnât taken your bait.
Shotaro turned around when he heard all the splashes behind him, confusion turning to momentary panic as they all rushed at him.
âHurry up! Youâre going to lose your head start!â Sungchan yelled out to him.
âWhat?!â He began backstroking faster. âI didnât know this was a race!â
Karina was already in one of the inflatables off the back of the boat, and Ningning gracefully dove off the back platform to join in her one of the other ones.
Looking back up at Sungchan, you couldnât help but burst into laughter at how perfectly that had worked. He was laughing too, one of his hands dropping to your waist to pull you closer to him.
âThanks for the save there,â he chuckled, thumb sneaking under the shirt you were wearing to rub circles into the bare skin above your swimsuit bottoms. âDid you put sunscreen on?â
âBack at the cabin,â you confirmed. âHate to disappoint.â
âYou couldâve lied and said no.â
âI am nothing if not an honest and pure soul,â you put a hand over your heart as your words were laced with sarcasm.
Sungchan snickered at this, his smile so bright you could forget about the sun, leaning in even closer to him.
âSungchan.â
âMhm?â He looked down at you, tilting his head inquisitively.
âCan I kiss you?â
âIn front of everyone?â He gasped, still teasing.
âThatâs a little bit the point.â You couldnât take your eyes off himâso gorgeous it really was unfair. âAnd also, I really want to kiss you right now.â
âWhat a coincidenceâI want to kiss you too.â
You grabbed the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. He immediately responded in turn, his other hand that wasnât on your hip going to cup your cheek. The sounds of various taunts, cheers, and whistles all faded out behind the roaring in your ears.
It was your last night in the cabin, and you were of course celebrating with one last bonfire. Your group of friends were spread out between the firepit, the hammock, and the other lounge furniture on the spacious deck. You and Sungchan were tucked onto a small loveseat by the table of food, idly chatting as you sipped your drink and he nibbled off the snack offerings in front of you.
The sliding glass door opened behind you, one of your friends walking out from inside the cabin. Glancing up, you saw that it was Mark, his eyes down on his phone screen as he shut the door behind him.
âThose little rolls from Mrs. Hanâs restaurant were really good,â Sungchan sighed happily, hand on his stomach.
âThereâs still one more,â you pointed out. âTake it.â
He looked uncertain for a moment, but you nudged him with your foot insistently.
âEverybodyâs already had one. Go ahead.â
Sungchan had just reached forward towards the last roll as Mark walked by, eyes on his phone as he swiped it from the plate. The man next to you just sighed dejectedly, sitting back in his seat.
âHey, Sungchan was going to eat that,â you called after Mark loudly. Not too rude, just making him aware as he clearly hadnât been paying attention.
Mark turned around, looking at you two, then down at the roll in his hand in confusion. He offered it back out to Sungchan. âOh, sorry man, I didnât realizeââ
Sungchan waved him off. âItâs okay, you can haveââ
You stood up, walked over, and snatched it out of Markâs hand. âThanks, bye.â
Mark paused, as if he were thinking about saying something else, but opted not to, walking over to sit with Jeno and Hyuck by the fire.
You sat back down next to Sungchan and placed it in his hand. âHere.â
âThanks, Y/N,â Sungchan was clearly fighting a smile as he looked down at his feet. He tore the roll in half, offering one half out to you.
You took it gratefully, tapping your half against his in a little cheers before you both simultaneously stuffed the whole thing into your mouths in one go. Looking at him with his puffed-out cheeks, knowing that yours definitely looked exactly the same made you burst out laughing, and your hand flew up to cover your mouth and keep any crumbs in. Sungchan was clearly struggling to not spit out his half-chewed food as he started laughing too, turning away from you and slapping his leg.
When you had finally chewed and swallowed the bread without choking, and composed yourself again, you turned back to Sungchan, still well aware of the faint, smitten smile on your lips. He was already facing you, watching you with a fond sparkle in his eyes. He reached out, brushing a couple crumbs from the side of your mouth with his thumb.
âOh, thanks.â You habitually wiped the other side of your mouth just in case.
âIâm curiousâŚâ He said quietly, grabbing one of your hands to gently play with your fingers. âHave you picked out what weâre doing for our first date yet?â
âMaybe.â
âMaybe?â
âI donât want to spoil anything.â You then added a teasing, âPlus, we have to get home first. Who knows, your car might get another flat on the way back and then weâll get stranded out here and die.â
He burst into soft chuckles. âSince you wonât be navigating, I think weâll make it back just fine.â
âI like those odds,â you beamed.
âMe too.â He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then murmured by your ear, âI like our odds a lot, I think.â
The next day found you in the passenger seat of Sungchanâs car, wearing his hoodie and humming along to whatever he was playing over the speakers. The car had a full tank of gas, four inflated tires, and the maps app was not in your hands.
âYou know, I get it now,â Sungchan spoke into the peaceful quiet abruptly.
You lolled your head over to look at him questioningly. âGet what?â
âWhy you were suspicious of me at first.â
âYou finally realized how stupidly hot you are?â You snorted, reaching over to pinch his cheek.
âIâm thinking I shouldâve been more suspicious of you, actually.â He pinched your cheek right back, and you smacked his hand away. He just laughed, grabbing your hand and entwining your fingers over the console.
âWhyâs that?â
âWe havenât even been on our first date and I feel like Iâve gone head over heels right down the mountainside.â
You groaned and shook your head. âI was suspicious of you for the wrong reason. Youâre not a player or anything, youâre actually too sweet for my own good.â
âYour own good?â
âYeah, you keep saying shit like that and Iâm going to do something crazy like say âI love youâ on our first date.â
He laughed, squeezing your hand. âChallenge accepted.â
⤡ masterlist
#sungchan#jung sungchan#sungchan x reader#bjnet#riize x reader#riize#riize imagines#sungchan imagines#riize sungchan#jung sungchan imagines#nct x reader#nct imagines#i: sungchan#f: that hot#jungsung#bias tag#writing#text#mine#*100#*200#*300#*400#*500#*600#*700#*800
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