#know what bonus points if it has a dude from black sails in it because that's how I found both dracula and scorpion king

[scrunglepaws]

I accidentally made Tails' siblings in the Folklore au way too endearing for mere background characters. Oops but also I would die for Manny.

Silas (Sails) is a hardworking sailor and musician. He loves adventure and his wife (and kids)! He's buff, sweet, and dumber than a box of rocks- aka a himbo to a T. He and Rose (based on Black Rose) have a bunch of kids, with another one on the way. I made one of the kids Skye just because [he's cute :3]. Pretty straight forward and simple couple, but they're very sweet. <3 It was nice to have Sails/Black Rose rep since that wasn't endgame in my Someplace au. Tails' oldest sibling.

Manny (Mangey) is an awkward, introspective farmer and gardener. He loves the feeling of mud/soil on his fur/skin and is often covered in dirt (this has an added bonus of being great bug repellant). Conversely, tight-fitting clothing (especially hair ties) bug the shit out of him, so he wears oversized shirts and lets his long hair go wild. This gives him the appearance of being disheveled and... I mean, he kinda is, but it's not because he doesn't take care of himself! He's always wide-eyed and frowning regardless of how he's feeling. He doesn't emote.

He's very quiet and shy, but can speak very well once in conversation (though he tends to talk kind of fast). Eye contact seriously freaks him out and he very pointedly stares at the ground when talking to others. He's observant and thoughtful, but can easily zone out in the middle of a conversation, drifting off into his inner world. As much as he enjoys socializing, he can very easily get overwhelmed by related stimuli- sometimes to the point that he curls up on the floor and makes weird noises right then and there. He is almost always fidgeting in some way, especially with his hands and swooping his head down/around. Because of his unusual mannerisms, he's often talked down to and infantilized by people that don't know him. His siblings know better, as does his wife (who I'll elaborate on in a different post). Overall just a super cool dude. One of Tails' older siblings.

Nina Nine (the name is NINE! >:0) is a fiery and passionate tomboy. There is no rhyme or reason for Nine being a girl in this au; my brain just said "btw Nine's a girl in this" and I was just like "well, okay then." She's kind of... Oh dear, she's um. Sort of got the "not like other girls" thing going on, but! She's very young! Go easy on her; give her a chance to grow. <3 As the youngest sibling, she just wants to stand out and make her mark. Kind of contrarian for the sake of it, going against the grain of what everyone wants (especially her parents). One of Tails' closer siblings because they're similar in age and being outcast-ish (the difference being that she does it on purpose while Tails can't really help it). Also, nickname bros! Nine absolutely INSISTS her parents call her Nine and badgers them if they don't. It bothers Tails when they call him Miles, but he's just like "okay... 8C" and puts up no fight. She sort of made a pact with Tails to be cool and single forever... But unfortunately (for Tails/their pact), she met a smokin' hot baddie and was immediately smitten despite herself. Her girlfriend's name is Fiona. Yes, That Fiona.

There are even more siblings, but these are the only ones I'm giving characterization to. Tails being from a big family is super weird to think about.

[tearlessrain]

I want to get back to my increasingly masochistic hobby of liveblogging shit-tier movies in the middle of the night but I don’t know how I’m ever going to top Dracula: the Dark Prince in terms of sheer incomprehensible fuckery. like. the playmobile-looking thunderclap castle. the script that was very obviously a first draft and sometimes repeated an entire sentence twice in a scene or had the entirely wrong word in the middle of a sentence and the actors just rolled with it. the awkward random cuts to the ambient lesbians. the way all the actors’ facial expressions seem completely detached from what they’re saying. the “traditional hungarian” meal of a costco roast chicken and the kind of fruit platter soccer moms pick up on the way to a potluck. leonardo. how do I move forward.

[vuure]

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

 @ilackallhonour​ has tagged me in this, and usually I’m really bad at actually joining in, but this one really got me thinking back on all my old fandoms and hyperfixations. I didn’t really do shipping until a few years ago, might have something to do with my recently discovered ace-ness :’)

I always had fantasies that I was part of the world of that particular hyperfixation at time. Of course very heroic and awesome, and very close to my favorite character. Alas, real life is disappointing in that regard.

Merlin/Arthur, I never watched the show when it first came out. Mostly because I can be a bit stubborn and when a lot of people keep telling me that I should totally watch something because I will love it, I refuse to watch it. Don’t know why I’m like that. Turned out, I totally did love it, and binged it like crazy. Also shipped Arthur/Merlin like crazy. Was really disappointed in the ending, and thus, turned to fic. For me, when I’m really obsessed with a show or book I just cannot let go and will read fic until eventually my fixation dies out.

The Umbrella Academy, I don’t really ship anyone, except maybe bromances, and their sibling relationships (Five and Vanya <3 Klaus and Diego <3<3). Man, I love this show, I binged it when it first came out, immediately watched again, got other people to watch it, and watched it again so I could talk to them about it some more. Of course turned to fic, but got a bit eww-ed out, because there was a lot of shipping going on and I didn’t dig it (too each their own, though).

Black Sails, uuuugh I can’t with this show. @Ilackallhonour actually got me curious about it because all the stuff she posted and reblogged. And damn, was it a life changer. I’ve always had a bit of a weird obsession with ships and that time period, but more from Dutch, and VOC perspective. Still, the setting immediately hooked me in, but I really stayed for the story, the characters…Silver. Oh damn. And Silver/Flint, oh double damn.

Sterek. Really, I can’t even say I liked Teen Wolf that much, although I did enjoy the first few seasons. But I stayed for every glimpse of Sterek I could catch. The first time Derek shoved Stiles into the wall I was screaming at my TV, NO WAY there are no people shipping that. Dude, that’s so canon it hurts! But well, the show turned into a big dumpster fire, and I found the online fandom. Got an AO3 account just so I could bookmark and comment and give out kudos so my favorite Sterek fic. And there are tons of fics. I can admit it, I was an addict. I can’t go on AO3 without drowning back in fandom hell, so I keep off it. Really, it was a problem. I was reading fic ALLLL the time. When I should’ve been working, sleeping, socializing, etc. Followed so many Sterek blogs on Tumblr, but wanted my sanity back so unfollowed them all. Sorry @andavs​, I still love your blog, and your art, and your fics sooooo much, but it was too big of a problem *sigh*

Harry Potter, of course. My favorite character was Fred, and got very upset when people tried to convince me he was exactly the same as George. NO HE ISN’T! He’s the idea guy!! Lol. It’s been a while since I’ve read the books, and not sure how much of that is true anymore. Back then I didn’t really do shipping, but now I’m a Drarry shipper, haha. The fics are just so goooood.

Gilmore Girls, duuuude. This show shaped my life. Every time I’m one a re-watch I’m like…oh thát’s where I got that from! I copied character traits and sense of humor and stuff into my own personality. Didn’t like the new episodes much, but that won’t destroy my love for the Gilmores.

Veronica Mars, same as with Gilmore Girls really. Huge impact on my life. Love the snarkiness, and yeah did have some ships in there. Actually did like the new season (though I hated the movie), but they did LoVe dirty man.

I should put Supernatural in this list too, although I feel like I abandoned the show and am not a true fan. I was obsessed with it for so long though. Those first seasons were so great, I loved the relationship between Dean and Sam (in a platonic, totally brotherly way because I do not like incest-y things) and the normal everyday hunting things part of the show. But than all the demons and angels en Gods came and I got a bit tired of the endless cycle of dying and being brought back to life, evil turned to good turned to evil turned to good thing. I’m of the opinion that shows should have an end. Just like three or four seasons, tops. Just finish it with a good, solid ending. Don’t drag it along until it dies an ugly death.

And now unto some total different things, that shaped my childhood. Hard to find a GIF for these books, but what is fandom without some cool art ^_^

 Tomorrow when the war began, by John Marsden. I was obsessed with these books, and read them over and over again, even now I’m not tired of them and could get lost in them before I finished the first page.

Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan. This series really got me into the fantasy genre back then. I had no idea of any of the fantasy cliché’s, or Arthur legends yet, so I wasn’t tired yet of all the same old tropes. I find it a lot harder now to read them, but back then I saved money to be able to buy them as soon as a new one came out, and re-read the entire series up till that point before I read the new one.

Cats the (broadway) musical. Me and my little sister watched the movie version of this show over and over again, every time focused on a different cat. We knew all the lyrics, we knew all the cats. We knew every little thing there was of them to know. We named our black cat (we ..I demanded a black cat) Misty, for Mistyfollees (she’s a girl you see, so we couldn’t name her Mistofollees). I even wrote some fic for it, haha.

(note: I tried really hard to find another GIF but there’s none) Elfquest, oooh Elfquest. This was my truest and biggest obsession, I think. I created my own elf characters, joined online RPG forums to write stories about our own characters, met up with other fans, dressed like a favorite character. A lot of the friends I have now, I met at those forums. I’m still low-key trying to collect the better-looking English paperbacks of the series, but am in no hurry to finish it, and don’t really read them anymore anyway. And my ship? Skywise/anyone, haha. I love Skywise so damn much. And his and Cutter’s relationship is everything (who’s Leetah? Fuck Leetah).

Tagging @stormnyk​ @andavs​  (I tagged you already anyway, sorry ;p) @imperfectimpostor96​

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3

It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 

If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 

We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.

Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  

This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  

Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  

This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 

Motherbitch, this is stupid.

I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.

Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 

I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 

-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  

Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 

We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 

I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 

So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  

Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 

We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 

"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug

[sighs]

Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.

IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN

A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.

Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 

Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 

Aaaaand, we're back!

Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.

[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.

But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:

The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop

The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.

Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 

WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 

DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 

Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 

Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 

Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 

YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 

So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.

See you next week.

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Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)

Episode 2

Episode 1

[this-darkness-light]

Kissed By An Angel

Pairing: Sam/Castiel, background Dean/Lucifer Rating: Gen Tone: humor, fluff Summary: Sam has a good time explaining an obscure holiday tradition to Castiel. Word count: 1510 (I’m apparently incapable of writing anything under 1,000 words idk) Prompt: I saw Person A kissing Person B under the mistletoe Tags: humor, fluff, adorbsness ahoy, holidays, Christmas, kissing under the mistletoe, Dean ships it, Lucifer ships it

Written for day 5 of @webcricket’s 2017 Supernatural Advent Calendar Challenge. 

Tagging: @brieflymaximumprincess

Read on AO3! -.-.-.-.-

Castiel stares up at the leafy green plant hanging from the top of the door jamb, head tilted to the side and eyebrows squished together. “I do not understand what a parasitical plant has to do with kissing.” In his hand he rolls the small, pearly white berry he gathered from the plant between his fingers, careful not to squish it.

Sam clamps his lips together and swallows the laugh bubbling up in his chest. Making fun of the angel won’t help him understand obscure human holiday traditions any better than he already doesn’t, though the light-hearted teasing would probably sail right over his head and leave him none the wiser.

“It’s just something humans do,” Sam says, tugging on the lapels of Castiel’s trench coat to pull him closer. “Stand under the mistletoe, pull off a berry each time you kiss, and when there’s no more berries, you’re done.” To prove his point, he leans down and gently brushes a kiss against the angel’s chapped pink lips. Castiel hums approvingly, and a warmth that has nothing to do with the heat from the stove where Dean is cooking dinner bursts into his chest.

When they pull apart, Castiel holds the berry out to Sam like a solemn priest bestowing a ritual artifact upon a worshipper. Oooh. That thought gives Sam an idea for roleplay later. “Here is your berry,” Castiel says in that gravelly deep voice of his, “though I don’t think this exchange is very fair to you.”

Smiling, Sam plucks the small white berry from the angel’s palm and tucks it in the left breast pocket of his flannel over shirt. “Why’s that?”

“You gave me a delightful kiss, and I gave you the fruit of a plant that sucks the life and vitality from its host.”

Pressing a hand to his mouth, Sam bites down hard on his lip to hide the grin threatening to bloom across his face. “You sure have a way with words, Cas,” he says in a wheezy voice full of choked back laughter. He kind of wishes he was recording this, because the angel’s earnest inability to understand that it’s just a dumb tradition is too funny.

If he notices that Sam’s on the brink of cackling like a wicked witch, Castiel doesn’t show it. He dips his head and thanks Sam for the compliment. “Now I believe it’s your turn, Sam,” he says, as serious as if he’s reciting wedding vows. And that’s not really a thought Sam needs right now, because it’s a nice thought and he likes it too much, and it seems like everything that he likes ends up crumbling to dust in his hands. Or dying. Besides, this is just supposed to be something silly and fun. And they don’t even know what “they” are, yet.

But what if…? It couldn’t hurt to play a little, right? (Rehearse, a voice at the back of his mind coughs, but he shoves that thought back where it came from.) Straightening to his full height, he schools his features as best he can and gazes down into Castiel’s deep blue eyes. In his little fantasy, Castiel is in a white tux with a black tie, and Sam himself is in a complimenting black tux with a white tie. “Ready when you are,” he murmurs, heart scudding in his chest at the idea of making his daydream real.

He remembers too late that, powered down though he may be, Castiel can still read his mind, especially when his emotions are cranked up to eleven like they are now. Castiel’s eyes widen and his lips part slightly, and Sam knows the angel has caught on to Sam’s pipe dream. A hot flush creeps up the back of his neck and he stares down at his boots. Way to go, Sam. You killed that nice, happy moment like a boss, he mentally grouses at himself.

Cool, slender fingers slide under his chin and tilt it up until he’s staring down into Castiel’s eyes, soft and shining with millennia upon millennia of wisdom and…something else that makes Sam’s breath catch in his throat. “I’m ready,” Castiel says in a rough whisper that sends a shiver down Sam’s spine.

This kiss is different than the one Sam gave Castiel only moments ago. Hell, it’s different than any kiss they’ve shared before. It’s slow and warm and simple, yet so much more than just the pleasure of sensitive skin on skin. Sam has no words to describe it. Sighing, he cups Castiel’s face in his hands and lets himself get lost in the moment, the feeling of warm skin beneath his palms, of Castiel’s body flush to his own, his arms tight around Sam’s waist and shoulders. A scent like night and earth and honeysuckle wafts around them, and it’s the axis on which Sam’s whole world spins.

Rap-rap-rap. “When you two lovebirds are done eating each other’s faces, dinner’s on the table,” Dean says, voice oozing smugness like a parent who just caught two kids acting naughty.

Sam starts. He’d been so caught up in Castiel, he hadn’t even heard Dean approach. Castiel, of course, is the epitome of poise. Completely ignoring Dean, he pulls away from Sam, lips plump and damp, and skims the back of his hand down Sam’s face. “That was wonderful,” he murmurs, the corners of his mouth tugging up at the edges in the closest thing to a genuine smile Sam's ever seen on his stern face.

Sam feels gratified to see a faint blush pinking the angel’s cheeks, because he can feel an identical one warming his own. “Yeah. Yeah it was,” he says, tracing the prominent ridges of the angels’ cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs.

Dean loudly clears his throat. “FYI, me an’ Luce ain’t waiting for you two,” he announces, then heads back to the kitchen and starts good-naturedly razzing Lucifer about piling microwaved veggie patties and actual vegetables onto his hamburger bun instead of the cheese stuffed burgers Dean apparently “slaved” over all afternoon.

Shaking his head at his brother’s antics, Sam squeezes Castiel’s shoulders and then forces himself to pull apart from the angel. Immediately he mourns the loss of warmth and sense of connection. “I guess we better get in there if we want anything to eat. You know how those two get.”

Castiel nods. “Our brothers would put a pack of starving hyenas to shame.”

Sam really does laugh this time, because the mental image of Dean and Lucifer crouched over a fresh kill (or, in Lucifer’s case, a pile of fresh fruit and veggies), growling and snarling at anyone who tries to butt in, is just too funny. “C’mon,” he says, grinning as he turns toward the kitchen and the sound of playfully rude banter and the smell of Dean’s famous burgers.

Before he can get two steps, a hand falls on his shoulder. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Sam?” Castiel asks, looking pointedly up at the mistletoe.

Sam mentally smacks himself in the forehead. The berry. “Oh. Right.” Reaching up, he pulls a berry off the plant and hands it to Castiel with a lopsided smile. “Here you go. Payment for, like, the best kiss I think I’ve ever had.”

Unless Sam is imagining things, and he’s pretty sure he’s not, the blush coloring Castiel’s face deepens. “I will treasure it,” the angel says as he takes the berry from Sam and slips it in one of the pockets of his trench coat.

Sam has no doubt he will.

BONUS SCENE

Dean cackles and takes a swig of his beer as Lucifer pauses the video while Sam and Castiel are mid-kiss. “It’s like watching a friggin’ chick flick, man.”

Lucifer snickers along with him and playfully nudges Dean’s shoulder with his own. “Aren’t they adorable,” he croons, zooming in on their brothers’’ love-struck faces. “I think we just watched them get married.”

Dean shudders and takes a huge gulp. “Dude, don’t say that,” he moans. “I’m not ready to walk my baby brother down the aisle.”

Grinning, Lucifer hits ‘play’ and the video starts up again. The soft little moans their little brothers were making while locking lips would make a porn star proud. He doubts they even knew their desire for each other was so…audible.

Tilting his head back, Dean finishes off his beer and settles the empty bottle on the end table next to the sofa with a muted rattle of glass on wood. “Good enough for blackmail?” he asks, stretching his arms overhead and rolling his neck from side to side to loosen some of the kinks he got slaving all day in the kitchen.

Lucifer can practically feel those proverbial horns sprouting from his head. “Oh Hell yeah.”

Despite the dastardly duo’s intentions, the video ends up being used less as blackmail and more to embarrass the newly married couple at their wedding a year later. Sam berates Dean for projecting it on a screen during cake, but he looks so much like a tomato in a tux that all Dean and Lucifer do is laugh and give each other high fives.

The joke’s on them when Sam and Castiel return the prank on their wedding day only a few months later.

[davantagedenuit]

Black Thoughts

So, sometimes, I think thoughts and I will put them here in case they are entertaining, or may rouse thoughts in others, or happen to be cool, or kittens.

So, also, I watched Black Sails. (And Hannibal is still the flaming spear in my heart, please don’t you all worry.) I read meta about the historical setting and the characters’ deep thoughts and deep feels, and the GAYtude. And, in response to all this greatness, I decided I would have some arid narratology-centric thoughts. (They turn out to be cool, though.)

So. Question: Who is the narrator in Black Sails?

Ah. Not as easy as it seems, right?

I have two answers.

Answer 1: A part of me thinks this whole thing is in fact the story of Eleanor Guthrie trying to narrate the hypothetical story in which she is the only protagonist. (For simplicity and future reference: the narrator is someone who (1) produces the tale, while not necessarily being a character in it, (2) controls or influences, in some way, the events in them, (3) knows more than the characters of the story.) Eleanor wants this. She would like to have a say and the mechanics and the OCCASION to tell the tale. She would like to control SOME EVENTS about her life, SOME OF THE TIME. She also desperately, soul-eatingly would like to know more than the main protagonists of the Pirate Show AND she would like to know more than herself, possibly to tell herself, on at least SOME occasions, ‘This dude will screw you. All these dudes have always screwed you.’ But, she says it herself, there are “Too many fucking men on this island.”

Answer 2: If we want to focus on the Pirate Show rather than on the peripherical storylines, we need to go season by season. (And season 4 is special, because season 4 is war, and some characters think they are narrators, are self-aware narrators, and blood and slicing ensues.)

Season 1: Hal Gates. Yes. Take a moment to think about it. He is Flint’s Friend (the only one for a while that Flint calls by his first name, Silver does not get that, but Silver is special (aka he’s the friend who’s aware of the Friends of Flint Curse - but still WANTS the friendship)), he knows about some (all?) of Flint’s past, he does (preemptive - Billy’s FACE when Gates asks him to restrain Flint) damage control with the Richard Guthrie meeting at the very beginning, he removes his trust in Flint (because he knows more than Flint about what’s coming), he dies. - In short, Silver may have memorized one page of the book, Gates has read it, knows it by heart, made it a best-seller. (Did anyone, at any point, ship Flint/Gates? No, because Gates is, eh, not as aesthetically pleasant as someone else? But I go astray.)

Season 2: Miranda Barlow-Hamilton. This is subtle, and beautiful, and perfect, and by 2x02 I knew where it was going, but the Kiss Reveal was still fantastic in 2x05. Season 2 starts off with us thinking that Mrs. Barlow IS Flint’s origin story. It turns out that she is not (Thomas Hamilton is), but she is the narrator of it. This was, admittedly, foreshadowed by 1x04′s AWKWARDEST casually not-that-sexual sex scene (and for a moment, I swear, when I watched it, I thought I was watching some independent 80′s European film, and not Shiny New TV), later mirrored with Anne and Jack. She knows more than Flint about, well, so much everything, it’s a wonder he seems to know anything. She knows about what happened with Thomas, she knows about his feelings BETTER THAN HE DOES (because he’s all busy feeeeeeeling them), she knows about Abigail Ashe, she comes up with the Magic Peaceful Solution/Final Plotpoint that will turn to be her Tragic Violent Death. The Magic Peaceful Solution becomes the Tragic Violent Death when she realizes someone knew things that she didn’t know. (At which point ABIGAIL ASHE becomes ‘Acting Miranda’ because she writes all the good things in her journal.) -- During the first half of the season, she even seems to direct the flashbacks, casting them onto the viewer from her little house inland (aka heart of heart of Flint) like the witch she is supposed to be.

Then we get the Great Split of seasons 1-2 v. seasons 3-4. Flint loses his loves. Silver loses his leg. Given that Black Sails asks the ever-lasting Reform or Revolution question, seasons 1 and 2 are clear candidates for the reform-minded solution. (Recall Flint, in season one, walking in Eleanor’s office saying he would settle for “a friendly British governor and some universal pardons shenanigans”.) (Also flashforward to Mr Oglethorpe being described as the reform-minded man.) Seasons 3 and 4 are the revolution. Tempest, torture at maroon island, all for the cause and nothing but the cause, ”Madi, would I be enough for you?”, Long John Silver’s propaganda, culminating with the Berringer Terreur. (Another one of my crazy ideas is to try and fit Black Sails in the historiographic/quasi-mythical frame of the French Revolution. One more argument for this: the French revolution abolished the monarchy in favor of a (short-lived) constitutional democracy, which was followed by the Terror, then returned to an Emperor. Similarly, the seasons 3 and 4 are about Kings and Queens coexisting with some (short-lived) democratic pirate alliances.)

Which gives us:

Season 3: John Silver. YES. So. He is on his way to becoming Flint’s Friend, but not there yet. He still focuses on Speaking For the Men, with the downside being that speaking is now the only thing he can do. He is, and somewhat remains in season 4, the Official Oracle of what’s going on in Flint’s head. Season 3 is the story of him trying to get BETTER at his narrative. Early season 3 has him revealing to Flint how much more than him he knows (about the Urca gold) in order to assert his power as narrator. But he still knows, he realizes, relatively little about Flint himself and, unlike the other narrators, he does not already possess that knowledge but he WANTS IT. To acquire that knowledge and become full-blown narrator, he will have to, well, become so close to his character that they will become indistinguishable IN THE WOODS AT NIGHT AROUND A BOTTLE OF RUM AND A CACHE OF GEMS. He organizes the events, he produces the tale. But the tale has changed - it is not a story about a series of events any longer (Chronicles of a Revolution), but a story about a character (Tragic Idealist Biopic). At the point where it becomes obvious that this is not the story of the Pirate revolution of Nassau, but the story of Captain Flint (in the woods, with the rum and the cache), Silver stops being the narrator. He (PSEUDO) dies at the end of the season and his fate is left unknown. And, in the land of narratologic explosion that is season 4, he becomes the CHARACTER OF THE NARRATOR IN-STORY (aka Long). Come on. This is magnificient.

Season 4: Yep. Yep. My first thoughts about season 4 were that it was all over the place, that the writers were stuck trying to tie together the twelve millions storylines they had going, that everyone was changing side because The Plot demanded it. My later thoughts were that it became an artful study in fragmentation. The storylines that seemed peripherical at first became central (the Max/Anne/Jack trio fills in for the Miranda/Flint/Thomas trio, commerce (and reform) fills in for idealism). The cause exploded. The Island of Pirates has no leader and is locally managed by some, picking the pieces. So there are many narrator candidates. It can’t be Silver: he’s become the character of the narrator in-story (written in exactly this way by Billy Bones who KNOWS what Flint may not explicitly know - that the narrator is more powerful than the main protagonist, indeed that he is the only one with ANY POWER over the story). It can’t be Billy: he does have some knowledge, but it’s local and brief, and with Silver as a character of narrator, he’s got competition. (Billy is probably the postmodern salty writer who thinks he’s smart as all hell writing the writer in his own story. And turns out he’s not that smart.)

I wanted it to be Eleanor, but she’s at her most powerless, and cruelly self-aware. I wanted it to be Madi, and I think she IS the narrator of the Series of Events that hopefully leads to a revolution (but have at that point already begun to fail). But, concerning Flint’s story, the only one with the modicum of distance required to have both power over the events, more knowledge than the characters (through Weirdly Prophetic Insight) and who is not involved in the tale enough so that he’s able to tell it - is Israel Hands, CHRONICLER OF ALL-HAS-GONE-TO-HELL. He correctly identifies Silver as Long John Silver after his quasi-death. (Silver’s quasi-death, in the transformative narrative, being the threshold after which he is Long John Silver.) He sits right between him and Flint, and, big happy bear of a meta-narrative device that he is, keeps reminding Silver that the narrator is not the character, that John isn’t Long and vice versa. (He also reminds reminds Silver that Silver isn’t Flint, and Silver has a problem with that more than he has a problem not being Long.) As a bonus, he can tell the story properly because he doesn’t like the story much. (The story being Flint.) (He’s probably the grumpy editor being snarky at repetitive plotting. ‘He’s turned you around again’.)

Conclusion things: (1) Flint is not a narrator in this story. He’s a character, who has a dim awareness that his tale will be told by others, and who, at some point, chooses purposefully to surround himself with people who will tell it. (I think Flint didn’t choose Silver as a friend, he chose him as a narrator for his Glorious Fight (ALL THE ANCIENT GREEK HISTORIES WHERE GREAT KINGS HAVE SECRETARIES WITH THEM ON THE BATTLEFIELD SO THEIR TRIUMPHS CAN BE TOLD FOREVER). Silver, because he wanted accurate documentation, became very close to the main protagonist of the tale. And Flint was, once more, possibly the first time since Thomas, SURPRISED BY FRIENDSHIP/LOVE he hadn’t seen coming. Conversely, Silver paints such a feared character that he realizes, he’ll be the only one liking him. Recall the woods/rum/cache nightly conversation, and Silver being like ‘To be feared is ok, but to be feared and liked is cooler (so everyone will fear you, Captain, via my tale, while I will like you’) and Flint being like ‘*the trademark wolfish grin of death* Sounds awesome’.) -- This strengthens my idea of the Flint/Eleanor parallel. Eleanor is trying to tell her story. Flint is trying, subtle difference, but also subtle similitude, to have his story told.

(2) If Flint is a character whose origin story is Thomas, Silver is NARRATING to Madi that he IN-STORY returned the character to his origin story (the “anterior state of being” - there is a WHOLE another post for the creeping use of abstract vocabulary in this show - I think these occurrences are meta-narrative remarks, but well).

(3) The narrator is always more powerful than the character. Flint knows that (eventually). Which is why seeking out Silver as a narrator is really his first, but not last move as Deathwish Flint.

(4) I started watching Black Sails like ‘oh, a ‘historically accurate’ show with 18th century pirates who have bleached-white teeth and well-toned abs and incorrect period swearing, and, oh look, an explicit lesbian sex scene waving wildly at an intended male audience’ and I finished like ‘GAY HAPPY ENDING IN THE LAND OF NARRATOLOGIC WONDERS’ and ‘YES, JAMES, WE SHOULD ILLUMINATE OUR DARKNESSES’, and ‘ALL THE THINGS WE WRITE IN BOOKS AND THE CAPTAIN LIKES HIS BOOKS’.

(5) Re: feelings about the ending and the thwarting of revolutions. This ending is a happy ending, by all means, for Flint and Thomas and for Silver and Madi, but it’s not a good ending (unless you are, like Mr Oglethorpe, reform-minded).

[alys-anne]

I just wanted to THANK YOU for reblogging that fandom post oh my god I've never seen a truer thing ever and it's made it very clear to me why I don't like shipping as much as I used to!!! (god... the fans that feel like their ship is the Truest and that they are Entitled to Things or even that think it's the Truest but are Not Entitled and therefore Better G O D). Thank you.

You’re welcome ! I’ve actually spent quite a bit of time thinking about all this, and the post + article reflect (in more eloquent terms) the conclusions I’ve reached and why my dash looks so different now compared to 2 years ago.

The thing is, I find “shipping” appealing (and almost natural ? I mean I started having Feels about fictional couples while watching Pokemon and Sakura when I was a kid), and it can be so fun sharing stuff with other people. But it needs to remain fun !!! Or else, what’s the point ? I’ve seen people in various fandoms say “I’m stuck here, can’t get out”, well YES you can, you just have to do it yourself and not wait for someone to tell you to.

Also people tend to forget that without creators, there would be no stories. Like, at all. So i’m not saying all creators are perfect because far from it, and it’s important to engage in dialogue when you think something has been badly handled (thinking of minorities representation or plot inconsistencies here). But it doesn’t mean that people can just go and yell at them because their ship isn’t canon. This is so juvenile oh my god. I’ve read things that just /baffled/ me. People melting down because the camera guy said X and Y were not going to film a scene together in 2 weeks or some such nonsense. People completely lose their grip on reality, it’s maddening, and frankly repulsive. I don’t want to engage with such a fanbase and I understand why creators are put off (to say it mildly) by it.

I’ve been more or less interested in two examples that were cited in the article (larry and johnlock) and gods I’m glad that I finally realised what exactly was going on in there. I’ve fallen in the alluring trap of “look at all these cute gifs proving my theory” and landed in a world where one voice reigns and the dissidents are treated like garbage. Not fun at all. What enrages me the most is the fact that adults in these circles actively encourage this behaviour !!! You’re just setting up people for some massive disappointment by blowing a ship (that’s it, just a fucking ship, the mere idea of a romantic relationship between 2 characters, nothing concrete at all) out of proportions and to a disturbing level where fans are actually going to base their happiness on it ??? again, NOT FUN. After the Sherlock finale, people said that the showrunners should feel like shit because suicide helplines were reblogged in the tjlc corner of the fandom. DUDES. THEY’VE BEEN TELLING YOU SINCE THE FUCKING BEGINNING THEY WOULDN’T DO IT. YOU BLOODY WELL CHOSE TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING AND TO FUEL IT WITH A LOT OF YOUR EMOTIONS, BUT YOU CANNOT SAY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WARNED YEARS AGO !!!!!!!! DON’T MAKE A TV SHOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND DON’T ENCOURAGE OTHER PEOPLE TO DO SO FOR FUCK’S SAKE also, the entitled / all-knowing attitude of some bloggers was really fucking irksome. (same commentary goes with RPF, with added bonus that IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS)Anyway, sorry for the rant ! To end on a positive note, I’m beyond glad to watch Black Sails and to follow the blogs I do, because no wank, 100% fun and the overall approach to shipping is relatively chill.

[prinzenhasserin]

Fandom5k - Dear Author!

This letter is just in case you might want to poke at some more of my prompts/likes. 

I’m not married to any of them, feel free to subvert them to your heart’s desire. I’m not so much a fan of darkfic, except for when there’s a hopeful resolution to all the dark stuff, but feel free to write me any rating, I love all these ships and combinations!

Feel also free to include other characters or OCs as side-characters, if they are necessary because of plot reasons.

Things I Love:

fake/pretend relationships 

arranged marriages turning into supportive partners 

loyalty

odd couples 

found family, dysfunctional families that nevertheless love each other

cultural differences, age differences, height differences 

heists, rescue missions 

dragons, fairy tales, magical realism, urban fantasy

competent characters 

people not realising they’re the most competent at their job/hobby

people failing their way to success

happy endings, earning your happy ending, open yet hopeful endings

cynical humour 

mutual pining 

suits, corsetry, fancy dresses 

Identity shenanigans (secret identities, mistaken identities) 

Blatant Lies 

Enemies becoming friends and/or lovers 

outsider POV 

epistolary 

people not usually found in law enforcement solving crimes 

non-verbal expressions of affection 

Kinks:

sex in weird places (hard no on libraries, though)

Sexual Tension (bonus, if in inappropriate places or situations)

I like my anal sex with lots of lube and preparation, and also not before any strenuous activities. Lot of foreplay basically :D

women knowing exactly what they want from sex

multiple orgasms

I like switching (especially for practical reason), and changing power balances

weapons kink

semi-public sex with nobody actually watching

sex toys

hate sex

dirty talk (also: teasing)

Things I Do Not Want (DNW):

relentless angst

a/b/o

Infidelity

pregnancy

rape (totally fine with dubcon, though)

Wynonna Earp (TV) —Xavier Dolls (Wynonna Earp)

If you want to include other canon characters — that would be awesome, too. Lowkey I ship Dolls with both Wynonna and Doc Holiday, separately and together, but I’d be thrilled with friendships or ambiguous relationships also.

How did he join up with Black Badge? Is there a recruitment program you have to go through -- how did that look like? Was it more like boot camp? (Was it like the Police Academy Movies, and poor Dolls the only sane man?) Was torture a thing -- how did they deal with it?

Did he join Black Badge before or after he became someone different? Does he have family/friends, which he left for some reason? How did they influence him? Do they come and visit him in the Ghost River Triangle? Are they also special, or are they completely baffled by what he does?

What exactly is he? Was he always such a deeply repressed person? Does he ever let go?

What happened to him after the Season 1 finale? Did he get rescued (by Wynonna, Doc Holiday, someone else)? Does he rescue himself? Does he even need to be rescued, or is he being recalled to fight the tentacle monsters invading L.A., or the lizard people beneath New York? I mean, the kidnapping at the end seems pretty involuntary, but his supernatural thing could just be very territorial.

Would also absolutely enjoy if it turns out Xavier Dolls is the reason the Earp’s family curse exists — and now he’s trying to break it but can’t. This could be because maybe he’s immortal, maybe he’s a relative of the original curse-making witch, maybe he tried to conquer the world once and now Black Badge has him under a geas to fix anything they want him to, maybe his family died because of a similar thing.

That said, I would also read a version of his life that is fluffy bunnies and sunshine, and everything goes right for him :D

DNW: major character death, graphic depictions of torture

Original Work — Group: Pirate/Pirate; Group: Crossdressing Regency Lady/Regency Lady; Group: Male Noir Detective/Male Mobster

Crossdressing Regency Lady/Regency Lady

Why is there crossdressing? Is it something mundane, like it being easier to ride in mens clothing (people sell you rooms/horses/land with less of a fuss), or is there some dramatic reason, like inheriting an estate or an earldom? Maybe it’s easier to pretend to be a man than an unmarried woman? Studying at university! Working in the lawyer’s office of their father because he’s sick, and the bills need to be paid, and there is no work for a female lawyer…

Some other plot ideas:

They meet at a ball, and flirt. Then they meet again at the next ball (or the theatre, or gambling halls) and their relationship continues. The crossdressing Lady is very worried about being actually a woman, and pretending to be a man, but the other Lady found out the very first night and is totally cool with it.

Would also enjoy a mystery about the young man that pops up in the neighbourhood, conveniently while the very pretty cousin of a cousin is visiting. Highway robbers! Pirates! Pretending to be her own brother because he’s off to Gretna Green (or wherever) to get married! There are no tropes that could make this bad for me :D

One Lady writes novels under a pseudonym, the other starts a letter exchange. They decide to meet — and that man looks suspiciously like one of the other lady’s childhood friends who definitely did not have brothers.

I would enjoy this in a world without homophobia, just as I would enjoy this if they had to pretend to be a heterosexual couple forever (though I would enjoy it more if they had the support of at least one of their friends/family, or a community behind them)

DNW: gender dysphoria for the character crossdressing

Pirate/Pirate

I would love pirates absolutely anywhere, Scottish smugglers, piracy on rivers,  Mediterranean pirates of pre-Roman Empire, Egyptian pirates, Chinese pirates, privateers, pirates of the Caribbean, pirates in SPACE.

f/f pairings would be great, just as m/m pairings, or f/m, whatever floats your boat (heh)

Some plot ideas:

(All prompts are gender neutral, which is intentional. All prompts are also terribly fluffy which is by no means an indication of preference — I just can’t seem to write deep and dramatic things.):

Two different pirate ships try to stop a ship of loot/weapons/high profile people from arriving at its location. Two of the opposite crew fall in love along the way.

The First Mate oils their muscles, and it’s the best thing that ever happened to this bosun (or the worst, depending). There are various bets about the futility of this most obvious crush.

This one country keeps trying to invade these particular islands, and so the entire nation has taken to piracy whenever that happens. When that country catches on, they send undercover people, who turn out to like piracy after all.

The smuggling cave is only accessible during low tide, and it’s only known to the pirates, yet their stash of high-grade alcohol/sauerkraut/sails/unobtainium  keeps vanishing, and so they set out a trap, and it turns out to be another pirate who needs it to help heal some other dudes.

The captain is so throughly annoyed by two of his crew members, he makes them sleep in the same cabin (or the hammocks nearest to each other) for the entire voyage, and they keep falling into the wrong bed because of reasons. (Optionally, hate-sex — or they are united by their hatred for this clearly unreasonable captain and overthrow him.)

Please no modern pirates, or rape

Male Noir Detective/Male Mobster

How does this relationship start? Are they childhood friends? Does someone get murdered, and they team up to solve it? Is the mobster in the way of an investigation and obstructing it, while trying to solve it himself?

I'm not sure from the tagset if the former is a police officer or a private eye, either would be fantastic. I don’t have a preference for the place or time setting!

Do they hate each other? Is it a slightly antagonistic relationship?

Do they like each other? Reasons for why criminals and law enforcement people could like each other: one is running the only speakeasies in town, the other really likes to get drunk; crapshot government, and the mobster provides a much needed service (maybe schools, needle exchanges, safe abortions, soup kitchens)

Or is it just because they are the only smart person in their respective business?

Would love some exploration of moral justifications of differing view-points.

Also here for pure smut: hate sex, switching power dynamics, ill-advised drunken one-night stands, sex for blackmail reasons

Crossover Fandom — Group: Cher Horowitz (Clueless)/Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)

Do they meet in law school? Or before, or after? I want them to be competent, and brilliant, and dazzle each other with their excellent taste in clothes. I want them to be besieged by terrible human beings, and persevere. I want them to cuddle on a sofa, and inspire so many girls to do great things. I want them to grow as human beings, and be kind and positive, and succeed. (And I want one of them to be President.)

Also excellent would be: Elle does criminal law, Cher is in charity work, and they need to solve this embezzlement case.

But I'm also here for the porn, because that would also be amazing. Or like, buying a house together. Getting married. Deciding to adopt a puppy together.

Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch — Group: Thomas Nightingale/Alexander Seawoll, Group: Thomas Nightingale/Varvara Sidorovna Tamonina

I love the ambiguous relationships Thomas Nightingale has with people. For all his stand-offish personality, he seems to have a great empathy, next to his principles that have clearly change with the times.

Thomas Nightingale/Seawoll

Is the negotiating about cases a sex thing? If so, is it hate sex, or the "I really like the way you look but the bullshit that comes out of your mouth"-sex? Is there going to be a romantic relationship? Is Seawoll secretly into the whole magic thing, and super delighted by the simplest things?

Would also love canon style cases — maybe they at first think magic plays a part, but then it turns out the solution to the case lies with mundane police work?

Also a thing I would read: An accident turns Seawoll into a genius loci, a being of magic which he’s entirely sceptic about. He goes to Nightingale for help.

Or: Seawoll needs to explain to some government official why they have a department of two people, and Nightingale swoops in to save him — now Seawoll makes it his personal mission to have Nightingale explain each and every of their necessary budget points to the appropriate people.

Thomas Nightingale/Varvara Sidorovna Tamonina

Maybe Nightingale is attracted to ethically challenged witches? Do they get into intense discussions about magic? How does it feel to have an unexpected contemporary, but a foreign-educated one?

Does she help solve a case, and Nightingale shows his appreciation? Does she meticulously torture him with her feminine wiles, while she's technically their prisoner and Thomas won't touch her — except he does so she'll share her information?

Psych — Group: Burton Guster/Shawn Spencer

These are the fluffiest prompts ever, and I’m sorry.

Gus has Shawn on his insurance plan, he's doing Shawn's income taxes, and they own a house together. I want people assuming they are married. I want them to get offers to hold "representation speeches" or "sensitivity training" for the police officer they are working with, people wanting to know if it was difficult finding work after coming out, and Shawn hilariously missing the point, and Gus being quietly embarrassed.

Or a "waking up married" scenario where it's easier to just stay together, because that way Gus has to only do one set of paperwork.

Or anyone quietly investigating if the two of them are together and coming to the wrong (right?) conclusions. (Shawn's dad? A potential date?)

Or a murder happens at Gus place of business, and Shawn comes in to investigate, and apparently all of Gus' colleagues think he's the husband? And of course Shawn plays it up.

Also great: Gus and Shawn have a huge fight, and they don’t speak to each other for a month, and the people around them are tip-toeing around if they have broken up — while the fight was about leaving the socks lying around, and they aren’t even together, wtf — but then they have make-up sex, and everyone is relieved.

Smut is also very welcome! As are other canon characters, and OCs.

DNW: darkfic

(Please feel free to anon me if there’s anything confusing and/or wrong. Sometimes I confuse myself!)