#kjfngkf im feelin Soft

[fairybond]

‘ oh, i was hoping you wouldn’t remember ‘ / for lis !

meme / no longer accepting

“I did that…” she’d said, a sort of soft horror in her tone at seeing the old injury on him.

She was no stranger to scars, and was not the type to be put off or made uneasy by them, but the sight of this particular one upon Sting’s forearm had discomfort knotting her stomach. It was usually hidden by his gloves, she realised.

Her eyes traced the lines of it before her fingertips did, her touch light, as if scared it might still hurt him. But it was well healed, she reminded herself, though somehow that didn’t make her feel any better.

     ‘ oh, i was hoping you wouldn’t remember ‘

Her brows furrowed slightly, lower lip bitten in anguish at the thoughts springing to mind, the memories. “I remember…”

Fighting with him. Clawing at him. Lunging at him with deadly intentions.

She lifted his arm and leaned down to brush a kiss over the scar, whispering an apology against his skin. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been in control of herself when the attack had happened, it didn’t matter that she had tried to stop it from happening, it didn’t matter that she had been horrified at the very idea of hurting him or anyone else. It had happened. And nothing would take away the darkness and pain that lurked within her chest because of it.

“I remember all of it…” The confession came as hardly more than a breath, and the urge to curl up and hide herself away came like a tsunami. The waves of disgust and guilt battered her, shaking her foundations, and leaving her trembling. She found herself leaning into Sting, hands finding purchase on his arms with a thread of desperation, as he was the ever-steady rock she could trust to keep her from being swept away.

Her eyes were shut tight, forehead resting against him as she tried to push the memories from her mind, to stop the flood of thoughts and images from pulling her under. Sting wasn’t the only one she’d hurt while captured by the dark mage’s possession spell, there had been others. Many others, and most didn’t get to walk away from the encounter.

“I wish…” her voice dried up for a moment, throat constricting as if to prevent the painful desire from escaping.

I wish I could forget everything.

No, that wasn’t true, she realised in an instant, giving a little shake of her head. To forget would be a form of selfishness, wouldn’t it?

She sighed and her hand shifted to find the faded cuts upon Sting’s arm again, lifting her head as she did so and managing a smile. “I wish I could repay you somehow, for everything you’ve done for me.”