#kiwi-buzzkill

[sailor-slam-dunk]

i finally have a tablet guys QuQ

[zackmephisto]

I lov yew

i love u the mostest no one else

[georgiansuggestion]

I want to send in a letter so badly, and feel all Fancy and Proper but I have no idea how to write like That, & I don't want to look like an idiot dork

Listen, it’s a pretty dorky affair from start to finish, so I’d just embrace that.

I don’t want to say it’s NOT hard, because it’s definitely a challenge switching between registers when you aren’t familiar! My go-to advice is to read as much stuff of the period as you’re able; since all of it’s public domain you can find a LOT online, and many early novels are epistolary. If you don’t have much time, even one or two examples will help immeasurably (and I wouldn’t suggest using this blog, because it’s not an authentic voice; you’ll find a lot more variation in writing from the period).

But the crib notes version is: have a healthy relationship with contractions/lack thereof, capitalise the Occasional word, and use One over the “general you”.

And if all else fails, the Editor does willingly answer stuff like this.

[elfpac-moved]

[bastardnev]

Hot Take: Mlep anon is in fact Neville wearing down his fan base so he can scurry into the realm of Forgotten Wrestlers

this just might be the spiciest take to ever grace my blog

[wweassets]

Ariana does blackface what how i am confusion- i didnt look at my dash for like three minutes and everyone's on you like a pack of dogs JFDLAKSADLKFJ

welcome to wweassets, where the anons are constantly on some shit! dfhdhjfs

[userkyle]

Look I don't hate HATE rog it's just.... he seems like a chaotic god sent here to absolutely piss me off. He wouldn't do anything horrible just like....put one cube of ice in my drink when i asked a little bit or turn the thermostat up one degree at a time until its just a little uncomfortable. He's on par with Ringo Starr

I, I have never read a more acurate desricption of a man in my entire life.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

The Dutchess’ Garden - Part 1

Series Masterlist - Chris Evans Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Pairing: Chris Evans x OC Emma Meijers

Warnings: Strong language, age difference, smut but not really smut

Word count: 1922

‘Good evening gentlemen,‘ a female voice calls from behind the bar, ‘you must be here for Robert and Mark. They’re outside. I’ll be right there to take your order.‘ Chris can’t help but stare for a second. Who is this woman and why has he never seen her before? She looks beautiful. Golden waves brush her shoulders, heart shaped lips painted red, rosy cheeks, and bright blue eyes. While Tom is already standing on the doorstep to outside, Chris hesitates. ‘Chris, are you coming?’

‘Oh, yeah, of course,‘ Chris stutters and tries to pretend he wasn’t staring at the bartender just a second ago. The two venture outside to find a deck atop the green sea in front of them. It could seat a pretty big party if you squeezed, but by the way the seating spaces are spread on the deck you can tell that that’s not what they’re going for. It’s cozy, with string lights everywhere, candles on the tables, celebrities littered throughout the place looking completely at rest. Some are with others chatting away, others are reading, some are simply enjoying the music playing through the outside speakers. ‘Ah, you found it,‘ Robert calls over to the two men walking. They gain a few looks, a few greetings, and walk over to Robert and Mark where they sit down. ‘Welcome to The Dutchess’ Garden,‘ Mark says, raising his glass to the two. Chris looks confused at the shape glas. It stands on a leg like a wine glass, but has an hourglass kind of shape, with the upper part cut in half so that the top bit is wider than the bottom. On the table is a bottle in a wine cooler filled with ice water, but it doesn’t look like it’s wine. ‘So what is this place,‘ Tom asks as both of them take a seat. He doesn’t seem as confused about the glass. ‘It’s a kind of secret bar for celebrities who don’t always want cameras in their face,‘ Mark tells them, ‘Robert took me here the first time we filmed something from Marvel together.‘ ‘And how did you find it,‘ Tom asks Robert.  ‘Robert helped my father find a place to start it,‘ a female voice says and the group sees the bartender from before stand at their table. ‘Gentlemen, meet Emma Meijers,‘ Robert introduces, ‘her dad and I go way back. He helped me out when I was stuck in the Netherlands once and we kept in touch. Anyway, she runs the place now.‘ Chris looks her up and down with starts in his eyes. Emma is not your typical skinny model. She has an hourglass figure with a little more sand that is perfectly accentuated by the copper wrap dress that she wears. Though the dress conveys a mature look, her kiwi socks and white sneakers don’t. They mix the playful with the mature to come out with a sort of teasing image. She has her ears pierced in multiple places and wears golden rings and dangling earrings in them. Around her neck are two different golden necklaces. One a simple chain, the other a chain with a coin hanging from it. She wears a brown hair tie around her wrist and has chipped, red nailpolish. Chris is mesmerized, but that doesn’t mean the others don’t stare. ‘Thank you for the introduction Robert,‘ Emma smiles, ‘I hope you have told your guests about the secrecy of The Dutchess.‘ ‘I have not,‘ Robert turns back to us, ‘The Dutchess is a secret bar like Mark said, but she also asks for her guests to keep the secret. Not all celebrities know about her and she tries to keep her clientele the right crowd by being a members only and invite only bar. So no telling others until The Dutchess decides you can be a member.‘ Emma nods with a smile. ‘Now that we have that out of the way,‘ she says, ‘Mark and Robert are enjoying some jonge jenever, but I can get you anything else. We have several different types of Dutch and Belgian beers, we have gin though I would suggest trying the jenever over gin, and we also have some different kinds of whiskey.‘ She looks at Chris with a wink. ‘Of course we also have ice if you need ot water it down.‘ A laugh erupts from the group. ‘Emma, I think they’ll like the jenever. Can you get us two more glasses and another bottle of water?‘ ‘Of course Robert, I’ll be right back.‘ ‘She’s a feisty one,‘ Chris huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest. ‘Come on Chris, you can’t seriously tell me a pretty girl made you sulk because she called you a pussy for drinking whiskey on the rocks,‘ Robert laughs. Chris sighs, but Tom is already in the next topic. ‘So it’s The Dutchess is spelled with a T because they’re Dutch? That’s such a fun play on words,‘ he comments, ‘but how do they keep their staff quiet?‘ ‘From what she told me,‘ Robert explains, ‘they ask the staff to sign a contract that requires them to keep The Dutchess secret. Otherwise they get fired and are sued.‘ ‘So they’d never hire you,‘ Chris jokes, trying to take the attention away from him more. But it backfires as Emma reappears with the glasses and the water. ‘But I wouldn’t hire you either,‘ she says, ‘you’re too big and I doubt anyone other than Chivas would want a superhero that drinks whiskey on the rocks.‘ ‘Is this how it’s going to be tonight,‘ Chris asks, trying to sound jokingly. ‘I mean, I could start asking why you consider jellybeans a food or ask you if you can drive,‘ she jabs at him. ‘How do you know all this stuff?‘ ‘Dutchess secret,‘ she teases with a wink as she puts down the glasses. ‘Don’t sell yourself short Emma,‘ Mark smiles, ‘she’s a great hostess and because you can’t get in here without giving a name, she researches people before they come here so they get the best service.‘ ‘And she shames everyone who drinks whiskey on the rocks,‘ Robert adds, ‘she did the same thing when we brought Hiddleston here. He drinks Jameson on the rocks.‘ ‘You’re not supposed to drink whiskey on the rocks,‘ she says in her own defense, ‘it’s a pure product. You should drink it pure. Or if it’s just a temperature thing, you could ask for a cold glass, but-‘ ‘You’re rambling darling,‘ Robert says with a smile. She tucks some hair behind her ear with a small blush forming on her cheeks. ‘So sorry about that,‘ she says, ‘but to ramble on a little longer for our newcomers. The drink you have in font of you is jonge jenever. It’s the drink gin was based of off and it is far superior. I don’t just say this because I am Dutch and it is a Dutch drink. It’s genuinely better. You’re supposed to fill your glass to the brim and drink it cold and pure. Enjoy.‘ She walks off, walking past a few other tables to have a chat and a laugh. Chris watches her go around. ‘She knows a lot about all that,‘ Tom says as Robert pours all of them a glass of jenever. ‘She studied it,‘ Robert tells them, ‘she knows a lot. Wine is her area of expertise. She is not really a sommelier, but she was studying it before she had to take over here.‘ ‘Take over?‘ Tom looks a bit concerned at the word choice Robert had made. It would imply something bad happened. 'We shouldn’t gossip about Emma,’ Mark says, ‘she took over for her dad. That’s all.‘ Chris nods agreeing, but he wants to know more. Not like this though. He wants to hear her tell it. In fact, he wants her to tell him anything. Her voice is wonderful to listen to. Even when she makes fun of him.

‘I hate to be a buzzkill, but I’m doing the last round,‘ Emma says with a kind smile, ‘I don’t mind staying open a little longer, but I do have to move you guys inside if you want to stay.‘ The four men look at her like she spoke gibberish and only now realize that they’re the only ones left. ‘That’s alright Emma, I think Mark and I will be leaving,‘ Robert says and turns to Tom, ‘Tom, do you need a ride into town?‘ ‘Yes, that’d be great.‘ ‘Good, Emma, would you be a doll and tell Marcus we’re ready to leave?‘ ‘Of course,‘ she says and scurries back inside to warn the driver who had been sitting inside the whole evening. Emma had offered him a book of hers when he finished his, which she did more often when drivers had to stay for a long time. ‘Your driver has been here the whole time,‘ Tom asks in amazement. ‘Yes, Emma takes great care of him,‘ Robert tells him, ‘makes him virgin cocktails and coffee or a meal if they want.‘ ‘She really is a great hostess,‘ Mark adds as he gathers his stuff. Marcus walks outside to alert the men that he’s ready to get them home. ‘You’ll be fine, right Chris?‘ ‘Oh yeah, don’t worry about me.‘ The group says goodbye and Chris is left alone, outside, enjoying the view and the quietly played music. Emma walks outside with a beer bottle in hand. She sits down next to Chris to enjoy the view with him. ‘I’m sorry, did you want me out,‘ he asks Emma a bit shocked. ‘No, it’s fine,‘ she says, ‘I’m done inside, so I thought I’d join you for a drink. If you don’t mind, of course.‘ ‘I enjoy the company,‘ he says with a smile. She watches his face with a smile. There’s a slight drunk blush on his cheeks, but nothing too bad. She saw he had drank the least out of all of them, drinking more water to keep himself grounded. ‘Can I pour you another one or are you good?‘ ‘If you’re not going to shame me, I’d like a whiskey on the rocks.‘ She chuckles. ‘What kind?‘ ‘Surprise me.‘ ‘That’s not a kind of whiskey,‘ she teases, but she’s off before he can jab back at her. He watches her walk away. She is truely stunning. He wonders how a business like this keeps existing, but they probably ask more for drinks or something. ‘I played it safe,‘ she says as she hands him a glass, ‘it’s Chivas.‘ He smiles and absentmindedly puts an arm over the back of the bench they’re sitting on, almost brushing her shoulder with his hand. ‘Wow, you’ve been liberal with the ice,‘ he jokes. ‘Whiskey on the rock,‘ she laughs, ‘if you want more, there’s an ice machine behind the bar.‘ ‘You’re just going to let me behind the bar,‘ he smiles a bit confused. ‘I’m off duty. Making you that drink was me being friendly. You gotta get your own stuff now,‘ she teases. He laughs and as the evening gets later, the two get more familiar with each other. But all nights must come to and end and so does this one. Emma lets Chris out the front door and throws him another sweet smile. He starts walking away, but she calls after him. He stops and turns around to find her running after him. She hands him a piece of paper. ‘Just so you know,‘ she smiles shyly, ‘you’re always welcome here. Would be a shame to refuse someone living this closeby.‘ She runs back inside and he watches her. When the door closes he checks the piece of paper he got. It’s a flyer with the opening times of The Dutchess’ Garden, as well as a form to sign up to be a member.

[yourfaveneedsakiss]

Ricky LaFleur from Trailer Park Boys needs a kiss! 💋

Requested by @kiwi-buzzkill

[rezziejoth]

17 questions, 17 answers

thanks for the tag @jeannedarcprice​ !

Nicknames: Mac, Navy, Joth

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 5′3/160cm

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Last Thing I Googled: Red Onions (i was trying to figure out why tf theyre so bitter)

Song Stuck In My Head: fenris’ theme from da2

Number of Followers: 89,,,,

Amount of Sleep: depends but currently because of my cats: 3 hours

Lucky Number:  42

Dream Job: working in a little village cafe or being an online creator

Wearing: Old oversized nasa hoodie, witch shirt, plaid pjs, foot braces

Favourite Song:  Snake Oil (foals) it takes up about 20% of my brain constantly

Favourite Instrument: Chello

Favourite Author: Juno Dawson

Favourite Animal Noise: Duck Quack...

Random: I’ve got hetrochromia but like a weird form of it where an extra layer of pigment just: sits on top of my iris my doctor is just as confused about it as i am

Have a recent pic: 

Tagging: @bastardnev​ @wrothmoth​ @ribghoul​ @saltyanonymous​ @guiltyidealist​ @vonschweetz​ @takeoutnight​ @sailor-slam-dunk​ @kiwi-buzzkill​ @wrestlecore​ @korcariwilds​ @oraclegazes​ n anyone else who wants to do this!

[harlow1898]

nOT me literally redoing my whole blog for a CulleN aesthetic

seriously what’s wrong with me tho

used to be mad-man-with-a-detective/kiwi-buzzkill 

.....pls let me know if the joke landed w my new name

[sailor-slam-dunk]

happy belated new year feat. this drawing i did for one of my discords feat. A Bunch Of Wrestle OCs

[mydarlingwitcher]

last line tag

I was tagged by @starrose17 💛Thank you!

Rule: Post the last line you’ve written and tag as many people as there are words in that line.

Right now, he simultaneously looks like an undergraduate with puffy cheeks and a tired man who’s seen enough of this dreary, unfair world. 

There’s no way I’m tagging that many people and I’m bad at keeping track of who’s done this already, so I’m tagging some people who I know are probably writing, but no pressure, just do it if you wanna ✨ @disasterboysandtheirgruffloves, @jaskieriest, @kiwi-buzzkill, @the-winter-witcher, @merthurlocked

[zackmephisto]

tagged by @sluttymjf @markostuntthesehoes @omegasclub @basedboutmachine @punkrockcheshirecat sorry i haven’t done it til now lads been depressed xoxoxoxo

tagging: @robwiethoff @vonschweetz @kiwi-buzzkill​ @glowrioustrash​ @undistupidera​ and anyone else who wants to do it

[misfit-group-chat]

Message Five - Aliens

Toby and her Bois

creamsTHICCle: which dumbass is willing to take me to the raid on Area 51???

Fitz the Father: were Kiwis?????

0 days w/o Drugs: why go there when I’m an alien right here? 👽

Dominant Gay: New Horror Movie

Dominant Gay: The Creature under the Helmet

Reckless with Edibles: I’d pay to see that

0 days w/o Drugs changed their name to Area 51 Reject

Area 51 Reject: We apart of the Kyles or Naruto Rumners?

Dominant Gay: Clearly the minecrafters in the back digging their way in

Reckless with Edibles: I call texting the aliens were here

Fitz the Father: We are NOT going to the Area 51 raid

creamsTHICCle: hey google how do I cancel 6 plane tickets to Nevada

Dominant Gay:

Dominant Gay: We go without him

Reckless with Edibles: We about to go HAM on the US alien base

Area 51 Reject: We’ve got Shaggy, Chuck Norris, Betty White and Keanu Reeves. What can go wrong?

Fitz the Father: my children

Fitz the Father: y Tho

creamsTHICCle: You’re not my dad!

Fitz the Father: I am your dad now get out of the fucking tank

creamsTHICCle: I’m in a tank and you’re not!

Convicted Cunt: He’s my dad fuck off, cunt

Reckless with Edibles: Thank you, Mason, for the contribution to the conversation

Fitz the Father: Mason, I’m not just your dad

Convicted Cunt: I want a sister tho

Convicted Cunt: and an alien

Dominant Gay: he’s on our side!!

Fitz the Father: why are you all against me?!?!?!

Area 51 Reject: because you a buzzkill not letting us live our alien meme dreams

creamsTHICCle: We will get aliens, no matter what

Dominant Gay: I will use you as a sacrifice if I have to

Fitz the Father: Find. When is this thing

Reckless with Edibles: We’re not saying because we’re not inviting you

Fitz the Father: omfg really?

Area 51 Reject: Area 51 is a Fitz free zone.

[bastardnev]

@kiwi-buzzkill hell yea