#kirikoma

[catncore]

!      /         @the-composer​ send me “!” for hanekoma to write a report on your muse.

There  are  few  reports  I  have  written  in  which  I  have  felt  the  need  to  stall  writing  them.  It  is  not  for  lack  of  not  having  information,  rather  it  is  the  fact  that  I  have  so  much  that  I  do  not  know  where  to  begin.  My  Composer,  Yoshiya  Kiryu,  is  at  the  center  of  this  subject,  which  adds  a  layer  of  complication.  I  will  record  my  feelings  at  the  moment.  I  pray  this  report  does  not  end  up  in  his  care  in  the  future.  

There  is  a  separation  between  the  Composer  as  an  entity  of  the  UnderGround,  and  as  Yoshiya  Kiryu.  While  it  is  important  to  see  them  as  one  being,  I  have  found  that  in  my  continuous  exposure  to  him,  that  there  are  multiple  sides  to  this.  It’s  less  a  coin  and  more  of  a  six  sided  dice.  Whatever  it  lands  on  is  the  dominant  ‘self’  for  a  set  amount  of  time  before  he  decides  to  roll  it  again.  What  it  lands  on  is  anyone's  guess.  

As  Composer,  he  is  single  handedly  the  most  proficient  and  exceptional  human  to  have  ever  been  raised  to  take  the  position.  It  is  rare  for  such  beings  to  be  human  raised  and  have  such  a  gasp  on  the  UG  in  the  sense  that  the  Composer  has.  Is  it  because  Shibuya  guides  his  hand  or  is  it  from  my  own  mentorship?  Plausibility  aside,  he  is  well  aware  of  the  fact  he  is  responsible  for  Shibuya’s  growth  (and  at  one  point  stagnation)  that  he  will  use  it  as  a  card  of  status.  When  challenged  or  threatened,  the  Composer  is  not  shy  to  display  his  power.  

His  connections  to  those  he  had  exposed  himself  to  is  very  different  as  Composer  than  it  is  when  he  strips  away  the  title  leaving  the  human  under  it-  though  it  is  arguable  if  you  could  call  him  a  human  anymore.  Human  beings  do  not  simply  go  back  to  being  ‘themselves’  from  being  Composer.  He  grew  and  adapted  to  a  world  that  most  will  never  see.  Because  of  this,  there  is  a  clear  God  Complex  that  has  grown  from  him  where  he  believes  his  word  is  final. 

I  find  this  to  be  all  bravado  and  peacocking,  even  if  the  threat  is  very  real.  In  most  circumstances,  he  will  not  act  unless  he  feels  threatened.  Not  many  things  usher  that  response,  aside  from  a  cheap  thrill  (  read: minamimoto  )    .

The  man  he  is  around  Neku  Sakuraba  is  different  from  the  man  he  is  when  alone  with  me.  Even  as  Composer,  while  he  feels  the  need  to  remind  his  Producers  that  he  is  the  end  all  be  all,  he  does  search  for  our  approval.  My  Co-Producer  and  other  self,  Eanas  has  no  problem  challenging  him  on  this  fact.  There  is  also  an  underlying  rivalry  between  them  that  while  softened  over  the  year  since  our  changed  circumstances,  is  still  there.  

It  is  completely  harmless  and  I  do  not  suspect  it  will  ever  truly  go  away.

It’s  when  he  has  stepped  out  of  the  Room  of  Reckoning  and  chooses  to  indulge  in  more  of  the  world  around  him  that  there  are  tell  signs  of  the  person  he  was  before  he  took  up  the  pillar  of  the  Reapers  Game.  As  much  as  he  wants  to  believe  that  he  has  changed  from  that  person,  paired  with  the  deep  need  to  be  revered;  he  also  craves  protection  and  acknowledgement  that  he  would  have  otherwise  gotten  in  his  life  spent  in  the  Real  Ground.  

My  relationship  with  this  ‘self’  is  complicated.  While  I  have  taken  steps  to  distance  myself  from  the  Higher  Plane,  I  do  have  rules  as  Producer  that  are  required  for  a  professional  relationship  and  yet  i  have  subsequently  failed  to  follow  through  on.  I  understand  fully  that  Producers  are  prohibited  from  forming  connections  and  bonds  with  their  Composers  seeing  as  the  role  they  uptake  is  fluid.  Composers  at  most  last  a  decade  if  they  are  skilled,  and  I  as  it’s  reigning  Producer  should  document  and  only  follow  orders,  yet  if  this  human  found  himself  in  harm's  way  in  a  way  that  I  could  not  control,  I  would  not  hesitate  to  step  in  and  protect  him.  

Needless  to  say,  I  have  failed  in  being  nonpartial. 

I  have  gone  into  note  of  this  in  the  past.  What  has  changed  is  that  the  lines  have  blurred  and  where  I  should  have  kept  it  at  mentorship  has  developed  into  something  akkined  to  strong  affection.  One  could  call  it  Love.  He  sought  my  companionship  in  ways  that  while  morally  responsible  to  the  Higher  Plane,  was  natural  to  humans  and  what  he  knows.  As  an  angel,  I  may  not  entirely  understand  it  but  I  do  desire  his  happiness.  His  happiness  in  himself  and  as  Composer,  for  if  he  is  happy  that  energy  will  also  be  put  out  into  the  city  and  yield  positive  results.  

I  will  stay  with  him.  Even  if  it  costs  me  status  and  authoritative  sway  in  the  Higher  Plane,  I  will  stay  with  him.  Be  it  though  his  position  as  Composer  or  into  whatever  status  he  raises  to  take,  I  will  stay  at  his  side.  He  is  my  human  and  his  happiness,  as  it  does  for  Shibuya  is  also  my  happiness.  

It  may  sound  odd,  and  I  am  surely  to  be  reprimanded  for  these  feelings,  but  that  will  not  change  the  fact  that  I  deep  down  we  would  have  reached  this  position  even  if  we  had  no  prior  exposure  to  each  other  before  he  took  up  his  role.  We  are  fixed  points  to  each  other.  If  he  wills  me  to  be  here,  who  am  I  to  deny  him  his  right.  

He  will  be  returning  soon,  so  I  will  close  this  report here  for  now.  I  will continue  once  he  has  gone  to  sleep.  I  need  to  start  dinner  so  he  will  not  wait  to  eat. 

[emmettspeakz]

I love how Kurikoma had a full on fan girl moment when the boys were getting changed.

Love you girl but find some chill haha

[the-composer]

send me a ship and a word/quote/phrase and i’ll write a headcanon or a drabble around it (& if you want nsfw specify)

[layersofuntruth-a]

killtheearl replied to your post: ❛ need me to preen you? ❜

i read that as peen

well willow does ship kirikoma...

[one-hop-from-eden]

[music rec- joshua + hanekoma ]

I think you clipped my wings to save me from the sun Forgot my hands and knees I had to learn a lesson Oh fearless teacher how’d I ever lose my sight Why’d I ever try to fight against your path?

Somewhere at half my life I wandered in the woods Can’t find a single right, I swear nothing is good I’m blinded now and darkness shrouds my every sight Why’d I ever try to fight for my own path?

I don’t know why I must be out of my mind No I’m going going going, gone

I don’t know why I must be out of my mind I’m just going going going, gone Going going going on my own

A leopard, lion, wolf, and mountain in my way I’m coming up for light and coming out the cave Only a prodigal could understand my life Why’d I ever try to fight against your path?

I go through hell and back and try to find my place The poet shows me how I had to fall from grace The devil stares me down he’s trapped himself in ice Why’d I ever try to fight for my own path?

I don’t know why I must be out of my mind No I’m going going going, gone

I don’t know why I must be out of my mind I’m just going going going, gone Going going going on my own

I think you clipped my wings to save me from the sun Forgot my hands and knees I had to learn a lesson

[partingipheion]

kirikoma replied to your post:kirikoma replied to your post:kirikoma replied to...

do it

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME

[plaguedoctorvevo]

3 and our good friend solid snake helo

How I feel about this character: he’s pure and he didn’t deserve all the bullcrap life gave him

All the people I ship romantically with this character: otacon, thats basically it, im

My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

My unpopular opinion about this character: snake/meryl felt forced though that might’ve been me glazing over hard when meryl was talking idk

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i dont know how to answer this seriously GIVE ME CYBORG SNAKE FOR MGR2

my het ship: ?????????

my fem/slash ship: snot

my OTP: also snot

my OT3: snot feat raiden (but otacon’s a vertex there) 

a head cannon fact: He just sorta goes through the motions of straightness b/c he thinks thats what he’s gotta do and it takes someone (probably otacon?) spelling it out before things Click

[nekusakuraba]

no no no, i call pink. pink is the color of love, and a humanitarian like me just loves people.

birthday present for ven!! i hope it is the Best Birthday Ever, here’s this asshole to celebrate.

[kosuk3]

☂ ♪ ✿

☂ - favorite season?

i wanna say fall/winter but i cant tell the difference between the two so whichever is colder so winter i guess :3c

♪ - music you like?

umm (^: i usually listen to acoustics or soft type of music aa

✿ - fave kind of clothing?

sweaters + shorts tbh

[partingipheion]

kirikoma replied to your post:kirikoma replied to your post:kirikoma replied to...

muffet-in-the-tardis

i have somewhat of a reputation to keep i can’t do this other ven. i can’t.

[planeswarden]

'love theme' from mother 3 probably,

yes....... thank u

[alternis]

i would leave lots of charming little frog knickknacks at your shrine

the frogod is pleased w/ this offering. ur ponds shall be safe another year

[catncore]

“ you’re always there. i didn’t used to see it before, but i do now. every time i’ve ever needed someone, you were there. ”

DRABBLE.    @the-composer

it  was  something  that  he  had  waited  a  long  time  to  hear.  with  such  conviction  from  joshua,  at  that.  it  was  a  like  a  dawning  realization  when  the  composer  rolled  back  the  memory  reel  in  his  mind  to  all  of  those  moments  of  strife  and  pain  that  he  had  always  had  someone  there  at  his  side  since  taking  up  the  mantle  in  the  ug.  no….  even  before  then.  when  he  had  been  human  and  getting  the  validation  of  someone  else  who  hadn’t  been  family.  who  saw  the  world  the  way  he  did  to  a  degree  with  the  ‘monsters’  that  roamed  the  streets  and  the  ‘ghosts’  that  fought  against  them.  

hanekoma  had  always  been  there;  even  if  he  had  been  largely  silent  to  not  influence  the  ug  from  him.  he  still  was  a  support  that  he  couldn’t  have  appreciated  until  now.  until  he  had  reached  this  point  in  his  life  where  he  could  reflect  on  everything  and  see  his  own  personal  growth  and  how  each  member  of  his  ‘court’  had  been  there.  had  helped  him  grow  from  the  flawed  human  yoshiya  used  to  be,  to  the  deity  he  was  today.  

❝    why  couldn’t  i  see  it  sooner?      ❞          the  composer  asks,  as  he  tucks  himself  into  the  angels  embrace;  feeling  the  producer  wrap  his  arms  around  him  in  comfort  with  a  form  of  compassion  that  humans  could  only  ever  dream  of  having.  his  producer  had  been  so  patient  but  so  honest  with  him  every  step  of  the  way.  always  giving  him  what  he  needs  to  hear  over  what  he  wanted  to,  no  matter  how  critical  the  feedback  was.  hanekoma  had  his  interest  at  heart  just  as  he  had  shibuya’s.  

the  producer  gave  a  thoughtful  small  laugh  as  he  hugged  him  close;  letting  joshua  have  his  thoughts  to  work  through  his  realization.  he  didn’t  want  to  put  words  in  his  mouth.  instead,  he  wanted  joshua  to  come  to  terms  with  every  bit  of  what  ‘they’  were  to  each  other,  himself.  something  that  joshua  subconsciously  ran  from  the  intimacy  of,  yet  craved  so  desperately  that  when  he  saw  hanekoma  even  look  in  someone  else's  direction,  a  jealousy  burned  in  him.  

❝      don’  beat  yerself  up  about  it,  boss.  these  sorta  things  take  time  to  really  understand.        ❞        comes  the  warm  replay,  causing  the  composer  to  turn  his  attention  to  how  the  words  sat  so  matter  of  fact  in  the  air.  hanekoma  knew  the  outcome.  of  course  he  would.        ❝      sometimes,  we  don’t  really  know  what  they  want  until  we  are  in  a  better  mental  space.  th’  man  you  were  back  then  is  not  th’  same  as  the  man  you  are  now.              ❞  

the  composer  didn’t  respond  to  it,  but  he  listened;  resting  his  head  on  the  man’s  shoulder  as  he  really  let  the  words  sink  in.  as  usual,  hanekoma  was  right  (regretfully),  but  he  didn’t  hang  this  over  him  in  teasing.  there  was  no  jest  in  his  tone.  it  wasn’t  even  the  man  speaking  as  producer.  it  was  just…..  sanae.  his  sanae.  different  from  the  man  he  had  initially  met,  but  the  same  person  who  had  always  been  there  for  him.  now  so  more  than  ever.  

he  knew  sanae  was  saying  this  in  a  way  to  make  him  think.  to  make  himself  answer  that  unspoken  question:  now  that  he  was  able  to  see  what  he  wanted,  would  he  allow  himself  to  finally  have  something  without  self  sabotage?  in  the  past,  he  put  blinders  on  himself  to  run  away  from  things  that  could  hurt  him.  yet  there  was  someone  always  watching  out  for  him  to  guide  his  path  and  help  him  even  if  he  himself  didn’t  want  to  see  it.  

❝      i’m  always  going  to  be  here  for  you.  no  matter  what  path  you  make  for  yourself.  you  might  be  my  composer,  but  you  are  also  my  best  friend,  an’  partner.  so  even  when  you  have  your  bad  days,  i  ain’  goin’  anywhere.  i’ll  always  be  there  to  watch  out  for  you.  jus’  now,  you’ll  know  i’ll  catch  you.  like  it  or  not,  yer  stuck  with  me.          ❞  

the  composer  allows  himself  to  smile  secretly  against  the  fabric  of  the  mans  white  shirt.  if  hanekoma  was  always  going  to  be  here,  then  he  might  as  well  take  him  for  himself.  

maybe he’s give ‘enjoying the moment’ a try for once  (even  if  it  sounded  ridiculous. )

[shsluckymushroom]

4 5 13 20 !

the best thing that has happened to me this week.

I...have no idea honestly? Um. I’ve had a really boring shitty week honestly aha...

weird things i do when i’m alone.

idk i think surfing the web and staying on tumblr and talking to strangers over the internet is weird enough xD

one person from tumblr i’d throw off a cliff, one i’d marry and one i’d fuck.

wow ven pls idk I’m not very violent like that you know...maybe nix bc she always shows me all these eMOTIONAL GAMES THAT RIP OUT MY HEART SHE NEEDS TO SUFFER FOR THAT

for the second, me and allie are getting married in Brooklyn it’s already planned so. ayy. [obviously i’m joking but. marriage kinda freaks me out oops..tfw commitment issues...]

and...idk...i don’t see sleeping with someone like that as so personal so...there’s not many people i know i wouldn’t sleep with if they asked? oops...

press ctrl v and post

press ctrl v and post.?? it. barely did anything was it a copy paste? oops....

[phantomdoodler]

doodler have you 1. played older harvest moon games and 2. have you played harvest moon ds cute because it's the only one i have (sadly) and i want to see if someone else thinks 90% of the bachelors are just Not The Type

yes I have!  my first Harvest Moon game was A Wonderful Live and I’ve been farming ever since.

I know I have played DS Cute but after a while they all run together...  it had bachelors from Another Wonderful Life, right?  man, it was rough back then, WE ONLY GOT THREE MEN TO CHOOSE FROM.  

*looks at klaus* we’ve come so far

[kosuk3]

HEY happy birthday!!!!!

(^: thank u ven !!!!