#kinda? he's kinda just chilling here not gotta lie

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 2:

Oh man, my brother is such a dumbass, and now I get to keep his, I mean my new awesome big cock, I get he was trying to be helpful and make me happy, but how dumb could he be?

It started a few days ago when I got kinda self conscious after hanging out with my friends smoking pot, talkin about all the girls we fuck, when in actuality I don’t fuck many, kinda been hurt too many times when they make fun of my dick size….

After my friends left, I sat down with my bro who was high as a kite watching Tv

I asked him “hey Christian, I have a question for you”

“Yuh” Christian said not breaking focus from the tv and looking like a zombie

“How old were you when you first got laid” I said clasping my hands together and leaning in, trying to look like I was focusing on the tv and not his answer

“17”

“And how big is your dick?”

“Um about 9 inches… um you?” He said tilting his head to try and look at me

I wasn’t ready for him to fire back a question like that, I don’t wanna lie but I don’t want him to make fun of me if he’s actually 9 inches, bro must have gotten the good genes in the family

“Um, 7 myself. Why do you ask?” I said feeling like a fraud for lying

“Bro chill, I don’t care, you asked me first after all, what’s the problem, something wrong?” He said finally breaking from trying to make eye contact with me and faced the tv again

“Um, I mean, kinda I guess… some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” i said sinking into the couch feeling embarrassed

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” my brother said laughing referring to the show we’re watching, Rick and Morty, what a fit show for a smoking session might I add

“… wait you think I’m good looking?” I said smiling trying not to blush for some reason “haha thanks bro, just one more question what’s your body count, like how often do you get laid?”

“Uh like 2 or 3”

“2 or 3!? Times or girls?” I said shocked from what I herd

“Times bro, now shut up we can talk about this later dude” he said annoyed that I kept bothering him

I was quiet for the rest of the episode and decided to go up to my room after that figuring that’s the most I could get out of him without it being weird. I mean it was already weird but I didn’t want it to be anymore

I ended up falling asleep pretty early that day sense me and my brother actually go to the same college, we both gotta get up early so he can drive us both there

I wasn’t asleep for long when I herd a knocking at my door

I sat up letting my hair dangle in my face and just pulled my phone out that way I could play games or whatever when whoever walks though the door decides to talk to me

Chris opened the door a little bit and stuck his head in

Ultimately he was just checking in on me asking how I was doing and eventually came in having one of those brotherly talks where he basically just tells me he cares about me, that he’s here if I ever need to talk, and how I’m his favorite little brother, when In reality I’m his only little brother…

We started talking about my problems and I broke down a little bit completely throwing myself onto my bad trying to hide my face so he couldn’t see I was about to cry

I told him I mainly just wanted a actual relationship but all the girls I do like dump me

He told me something along the lines of how he’s not like me, and was shocked this is what I actually want and how it seemed like me and my friends were playing a game of who could fuck the most girls

That just upsetted me even more cause I forgot for a moment about how I’m very good at making it seem like I’m a fuck boi that gets all the girls, when in reality all my one night stands, weren’t one night stands cause of my choice, they all decided 5 inches isn’t enough

Chris could see I was hurting on the inside from this, not knowing the actual reasoning why I can’t keep a girl, and told me that most of his girlfriends always thought I was the cute one, he then proceeded to ask if I wanted him to try and hook me up with one of them

“Ya” I said trying not to let my voice break

“Ok, I’ll start work on it tomorrow” Christian said walking out

The next day came and went as usual, however Christian did tell me I had a date with his Ex Beth in like 2 days! That’s not alot of time to prepare but I think he purposely set it up cause that’s my birthday, must just trying to be cheap and call my date a gift or something

I spent the whole rest of that day and the next telling Christian all my ideas for my date and asking questions like what did she like

Chris told me “just be you, maybe hang out for a little bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her out to the lake and go for a swim”

I asked Chris “ how are we gonna get there? It’ll be pretty weird if you have to drive us, even more pathetic if she has to drive us” I said annoyed

I saw chris roll and eyes and reach into his pockets pulling out the keys to his mustang and tossing them to me

“Duh bro you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap” he said all seriously

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” I said squinting my eyes at him

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” Christian said raising an eyebrow to me

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” i said back peddling trying not to get him ask for his keys back

“Listen we can talk more about this tomorrow ok?” I said tossing him back the keys

Me being the stoner I am I proceeded to go back to my room and get high so I can fall asleep and wake up sooner to start enjoying my birthday

As always I’m typically the first one out the door but this morning I almost tripped over a packaged addressed to Chris

I opened back up the front door and yelled “Chris there’s a package here for you! On the step” And the. Proceeded to go back to the car

Once inside I kinda just closed my eyes and tried falling asleep again, sleeps one of my favorite things and I’ll take every minute I can get of it

For some reason my feet got super tight in my shoes but I didn’t think much about it just kicked them off so it quit distracting me from taking a few minute nap

After a bit I could hear my door open and a pair of shoes and keys were tossed on me

“Your driving” I herd a voice say

I looked up was shocked to see my own body wearing my clothes

“Bro what the fuck! Why am I looking at myself” i said frantically trying to pull the sun visor down just to be greeted with my brothers face instead of mine

“Holy shit! I’m you now Christian, how did this happen!?” I said feeling my face thinking I was still asleep

In the corner of my eye I could see my brother reach into his hoodie and pull out a necklace dangling it around his neck

“Remember the necklace you wanted” he said still jiggling the necklace around

“Ya and you got it? And it actually works!?” Holy shit bro this is crazy” I said unbuttoning my jeans so I can check his dick out

“Aye bro, I think you forgot a part” I said looking at him disappointed

“Nah dude, I just felt like it’d be weird to swap that, now anyways get up your driving.” Chris said standing there waiting for me to get up

I stood up, putting on his shoes and walked over to the driver side and started the car. Not gonna lie, really weird being in my brothers body, like carrying the weight feels weird, we both weigh almost the same but since Chris is taller I’m way skinner now than in my real body… but anyways I was really excited to drive my brothers car, I fucking love his car, I kinda have a thing for mustangs

I know it’s important to let your car warm up so I left it started for about a minute before I put it in drive and started heading to our classes

“So… um, how long is this gonna last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” i said trying to keep my eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions booklet but I don’t think we need that haha… aslong as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or two, but I definitely don’t wanna be you for a whole month haha, guess you could consider this another birthday gift” said laughing checking his smile out in the side mirror

“Oh jeez, thanks bro, but you do remember I have that date tonight right?” I said a bit annoyed about the timing of the swap

“Well I mean we could always swap back after class. Or we could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure you get a 2nd date and continue seeing you, sense, ya know… you like to fuck up a lot haha” he said laughing at me

“Not funny dude, but ya dude I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me. You’d probably know what she would like and could probably seal the deal with her to date me” I said pulling off the main road and onto the campus looking for a place to park

“So we have a deal then?” Chris said holding a hand out

“Deal” i said shaking his hand

After turning the car off and opening the door to get out I herd Chris yell “Hope you have a good day CHRISTIAN” he said putting emphasis on his name, er I guess my name for now

“You too benji” I said also putting emphasis on his new name

I went to Chris’s class for the day and they were a lot harder than what I expected mainly the bullshit math and science ones that typically don’t have much to do with whatever major you pick

After school I waited by the car for my brother to come that way I can drive us both home and he can start getting ready his date

Chris was going though my whole closet looking for a outfit that was date worthy and when the time finally came for him to go pick Beth up, he came and grabbed the keys to the car

After he took the keys and left me in his room, I started looking at myself in the mirror slowly stripping looking at my boney figure

I mean Chris ain’t that bad looking but even he admits I’m the better looking one, I mean truthfully I don’t think I’d mind staying in his body, but only if I had his dick, that’s also assuming he’s not lying about being 9 inches hard haha, I know I’m no where near that, I’m really 5 inches and our dad is about the same so I doubt bro is even above 6

Wondering if it was possible a swap could be permanent I remembered Chris said there was a instruction book that he threw away cause who needs one for a fucking necklace

I found a little pamphlet in his trash and started reading it, really only 2 pages explaining how it works, how to do a swap, but after that there was a section explaining what to do if you want a swap to become permanent

The pamphlet said if you want a permanent swap all you have to do is jerk off since the magic in the necklace is holy magic, any sins done while swapped can break the magic link leaving it useless to those that used it. So things like sexual conduct before marriage, or even just jerking off was enough to break it

It’s a good thing I read this cause I was gonna jerk off but I don’t think I wanna be stuck as my brother, taller and skinner now but with the same sized dick I have, it kinda looks even smaller

I decided to get dressed again and started playing Chris’s Xbox looking for a good game to play, finally settling on over watch playing quick play not wanting to mess up his competitive score

About an hour and a half later, I was in the middle of the practice range testing out a new hero when I herd the door open, I paused it and turned around looking up to see my brother “how’d it go, does she still wanna go out with me?” I said

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date?” He said grabbing a bag and putting some black shorts and some towels in it

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” i said not able to help giving him a sly smile

Chris ended up setting his bag down and went into the bathroom connected to his room, just then an idea struck me and I ran to my room grabbing a pair of my shorts and ran back taking his shorts out tossing them under the bed and stuffing mine in the bag

Just then chris came out the bathroom seeing me stuff something in there.

“What’s that” he said walking closer to grab the bag

“Uh… just some condoms, can’t be too careful right?” I said taking a step back trying not to seem suspicious

“Ugh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” grabbing the bag and laughing while he walked out saying “see ya later bro”

After he left I couldn’t help but laughing to myself “oh man, I can’t believe I just did that, well I guess atleast now I I’ll know how big his dick is… although I suppose if he does fuck her once we swap junk, we’ll permanently be stuck like this, but I mean if he’s actually that hung and not lying, I think I could live with this, but fuck, I hate the fact that this is a gamble that he’s not lying about how big he is” I thought to myself

I went back to playing my game, going back to quick play, after like 5 or 6 games holding the controller in my hand resting them on my sweats, I started feeling someone brushing my hand, I lifted up both hands and saw a larger bulge than before

“Oh my god this is it, he put my swim shorts on” I thought myself backing out my game and getting up to go to the bathroom

I pulled my sweats down some and could see the large imprint on my underwear, I pulled those down too, to take a piss and was left almost speechless, bro looks as big soft as I do hard that’s insane haha

After getting done with taking I piss I went back to the room and took my pants completely off standing in the middle of the room in just my brothers underwear, I swapped into his early cause why not, not like I could actually swap anything myself

I pulled them down a little bit and grabbed my dick, thinking about how I have my brothers dick might be a little weird but the fact that it’s so much bigger is even hotter

It started growing in my hand and once fully hard I grabbed a tape measure and measured it, I just had to know

And sure enough he wasn’t lying, Chris actually does have a 9 inch dick, we’ll actually 9 inches and 1/4th

I started slowly jerking off at a pace that wouldn’t be able to make me cum, basically just edging and enjoying the use of my huge cock debating if I wanted to cum, I could be the nice brother and swap back with him, but at the same time he probably fucked his ex already, oh man she HAS to be disappointed, but at the same time I don’t wanna go back to disappointed women. But I might not have to, if he fucked her then that means we can’t swap back anyways, but if he hasn’t then that means I have to give him his dick and body back

I sped up my jerking and kept stopping short of cuming for over an hour continuing my internal debate, on whether or not I wanted to do this and keeping Chris’s body, trapping him in mine, like I said kinda hot we’ve swapped bodies entirely, the big dick is even hotter, but I don’t know if I could keep his body forever

Just then I herd a car door slam and I figured that was Christian pissed off, not having anymore time to debate, I sped up, hoping I’m making the right decision, sense I’ve been edging for over an hour it didn’t take long for me to cum now that I ramped up the speed trying to bust before he walks in on me jerking, probably took less than half a minute of me jerking furiously to finally bust sending giant ropes of cum flying out my dick, 6 or 7 ropes total flew out my dick landing a couple feet away and a few more smaller ones landing on my feet

Just as I was panting, about to wipe the tip of my head off and put it away, Chris walks in, i looked at him the moment he opened the door, looking like he was about to yell but went into shock for a few minutes at the site of me with his dick in my hand

“You didn’t!” He said loudly with my old higher voice

“I froze, uh uh uh, this isn’t what it looks like” i said panicking, I thought I’d have a few more moments before he’d come in

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding after I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right after you got done jerking off in my body!” He said angrily

“Uh, uh, Im sorry just couldn’t help myself, when I noticed my dick didn’t feel right I decided to check it out and then I got hard from looking at this chopper and I just couldn’t help myself haha” i said trying to break the tension

“Whatever dude your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” he said grabbing some of his clothes and a beanie

I walked out smirking knowing what was gonna happen.

“Hold on,” I said stopping at the door “I thought you said we could stay swapped for a week or too”

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t wanna swap junks with you, I mean who wants a smaller dick, not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4! Now get out!” He screamed at me slamming the door on me

I went back to my room smirking and just laid on my bed waiting for him to realize swapping back wouldn’t work

I laid in bed for about 5 minutes when I herd a “WHAT THE FUCK” from across the hall and then stomping coming my way

“Oh? Did you change your mind?” I said trying to look shocked but failing to hide a creeping smile from popping up on my face

“No as you can see, I’m wearing my clothes but nothing happened, now help me get this dam necklace off” he said failing to get the necklace off

“Oh this is great, I mean might not be the best body to be stuck in but with a dick this big, I don’t mind giving up the cute brother title, atleast I’ll be the big dicked brother haha fucking sweat!” I thought to myself as I walked over and tried to unclasp the necklace to no prevail, I decided to pull it off breaking the clasp to the necklace

I decided to grab some of my old clothes and put them on before I decided to loosely tie the necklace around my neck so I was technically still wearing it

“Did you ever read the instructions” i said trying to hide a smile

“No, what would be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” he said frustrated

“A magic necklace, and well in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep your parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerking off or sex, whatever gets you to blow” i said with a full blown shit eating grin now as I saw realization Dawn upon Chris’s face

“And well you already had sex with Beth in my body right?” I said

“Ya” he said changing facial expressions from confused to horrified

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” i said

We waited in silence for a couple minutes before he finally snapped

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back!? What the fuck is wrong with you dude? Now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” Chris said with tears in his eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not long ago. “” who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9 inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body. Knowing you probably would try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in your body, just to seal the deal in case you didn’t fuck her, just so I can keep this” I said putting my hand in my pants and fondling my dick and balls

“I mean not to mention even if I didn’t swap our shorts out, sense you fucked her we’d still be stuck but then you’d be hung in my body while I kept my shrimp dick in yours, it kinda looked weird on me sense I’m skinner and taller now… so don’t be mad that you fucked up and made it permanent, I just took advantage and swapped the final thing out that way it’s a complete Bodyswap” i said

“I mean you don’t have to be known as the little dicked brother, your known as the cute brother now, you just happen to have a small cock now, so if I was you BENJI, I’d get use to being the smaller brother in more than one way, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” i said laughing and putting emphasis on his name

#longoverdo

#fromthevault

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Blood Ties Chapter 24

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Poorly written smut; pregnancy hormones absolutely get a warning

A/N: I kinda love this chapter.

There was a chill in the house without a fire being burned overnight. Too many walkers made the light a liability. You had your leggings and a pair of sweats, a long sleeve shirt and a sweater, your two pairs of socks, and your jacket. Carol was going to sleep next to you while Daryl took his turn on watch that night. The woman was the complete opposite of your partner. She was a human icebox. “Jesus, Carol, your hands are freezing!” You could feel the frigid skin beneath the fabric of her gloves. “Here, put them inside my coat.” She was shaking her head even as you guided her hands under either of your arms, shivering from the sudden cold where you were much warmer. Maybe you’d tell Daryl she was staying next to you when he came to lie down. Sure, he’d grumble and groan, but he’d never let Carol freeze.

“Thank you.” The other woman sighed, moving a little closer to you. The archer had tucked the blankets around you before you had invited Carol to share.

“You’re welcome. Do you have enough of the blanket?” She nodded and snuggled against you, full on laughing when the baby gave her a swift punch to the midsection. “Yeah, sorry. Thumper is lively tonight.” You twisted your head around as far as you could manage to ensure no one had been disturbed.

“Don’t apologize. Probably just knows I’m not daddy and isn’t happy about that.”

She was absolutely right. At 34 weeks, the baby seemed to sense when Daryl was around, just as he seemed to know just when to put his hand over the swell to calm them. Moving from place to place was getting harder and harder for you. The groups of walkers seemed to be everywhere, each town full of the people who had tried to persevere, only to become one of the dead. Sometimes you would find a place, settle in, only to run two hours later. You were exhausted, physically and mentally, and Thumper could feel it. The baby would move relentlessly, only adding fuel to your anxiety and making rest impossible.

Until Daryl would intervene. 

It started the same night he had first taken the weight of the baby for you. 

Daryl stood there with you for at least an hour, bracing you against him and giving your bones and muscles a well deserved break. When he began to tire, he simply walked backwards to lean against the wall. It wasn’t until you were nearly falling asleep, he scooped you up and carried you to the bedroll, an extra blanket on top of it to give your body some support. He was expected to take watch soon but they would come collect him when it was time. So he crawled under another blanket with you, molding himself around your back, still without a single word. You were warm and felt safe, but once you had tried to sleep, Thumper became restless; rolling and kicking until you were nearly sobbing with exhaustion.

“Baby, please, mama’s so tired. Please, just—”

“Listen, kid.” You had barely registered that Daryl had moved at all, holding himself up on one hand while he leaned over your side, the other hand planted firmly on your round abdomen. The tone he used was one you hadn’t heard from him before: soft but serious, no nonsense but comforting. “Ya gotta give your mama a break. World ain’t great out here right now, an’ she needs to sleep. I promise ya ain’t gotta be scared or—or nervous. M’gonna make sure you an’ your mama are safe.” You didn’t say anything, didn’t move, barely breathed. While the baby didn’t go still, the movements calmed to flutters and ripples. “There ya go.” When he started to lie back, he caught the look on your face and flushed, ducking his head. “Book says they can hear ya. Thought it might help.”

His damn books. You could kick yourself for how frustrated you’d get with him when he only ever used the knowledge for your benefit. “It did. My god, you’re the baby whisperer.” You smiled, snuggling against him. “You’re gonna be the best daddy, Daryl. I hope you know that.” You were met with nothing more than his breath against the back of your neck. “I love you.” There was a flex of his fingers on your stomach, proving he was awake. You never said it with the expectation of him saying it back. It was simply part of your process to continue reassuring him that this was his family. He had a partner and a child, both who adored him. With your hand on top of his, the three of you slept.

No one woke him for watch.

He talked to the baby constantly now. Not one of those dads that used your bump as a pillow and had full conversations with the fetus, but would check in, let the baby know what he was doing. Whether a boy or a girl, Thumper definitely already favored their daddy. That was something with which you were fine. You wanted their relationship to be special. You weren’t afraid of not bonding with your child, but worried that Daryl feared he would never do so himself. That he might even let that fear sabotage him. 

As if keeping time inside your womb, the strong movements intensified, Thumper now expecting the presence of their father; demanding it, even. With a sigh, you opened your eyes. Carol wasn’t asleep, but smiling tenderly, finally having found some warmth even if it meant cage fighting with your unborn child. 

“S’this?” Came a rough whisper from above. You simply rolled your head to meet Daryl’s curious gaze and caught Carol’s elbow when she immediately tried to remove herself from the equation. 

“Carol’s cold and Thumper says you’re late.” To the other woman, the archer probably looked angry but you knew that look. The furrowed brow and squinted eyes. 

“Well, ya gonna make room or what?”

He didn’t like the idea of Carol in his space. He didn't need to vocalize that, and he didn’t. Carol removed herself almost completely but didn’t attempt to find somewhere when she found you watching her. You knew she’d try if only to ease Daryl’s discomfort. You weren’t thrilled that he’d be ill at ease but Carol needed to be warm and the man was literally a walking fireplace. You’d be between them, looking at him, while the three of you shared warmth. 

It took a good amount of effort—and Daryl’s assistance—for you to roll over. The woman now at your back was whispering apologies at not being the one to move when you waved a hand at her. 

“Just lay down, Carol.” You laughed as quietly as you could manage. “Snuggle as close as you can to me, okay?” Her blue eyes lifted to Daryl, now propped on his elbow in front of you. He gave her a nod before you felt the blankets being arranged and her front against your back. Her presence didn’t bother you at all. And you could have told her that Daryl would have never let her lie where he was anyway. It would mean there was a door behind you and he never let there be a way for a threat to get you without going through him. You were too tired and ready to snuggle into a warm chest. You could tell her the next day. When everyone was settled and still, you smiled tiredly at him. “Hi.”

He didn’t get to answer before practically your entire stomach shifted with Thumper’s movement. “S’like watching a fuckin’ alien movie.” Daryl grunted, fingers working down the zipper of your jacket enough to slip his hand inside and splay his fingers open across your belly. 

“Don’t say that.” You whined. Your nightmares had been plagued with imagery of a walker baby gnawing its way from your womb. You hadn’t told him about the dreams, didn’t want to put the idea in his head that it was even a possibility. True to Dixon form, however, he surprised you.

“I think ‘bout it too.” He whispered, his hand gliding back over forth over your abdomen. “Wouldn’t be no heartbeat when Hershel checks ‘em though an’ s’there. Everyday.” You sighed deeply, smiling like a lovesick idiot and snuggling against his chest while your baby already began to settle beneath his palm. “What?”

“Just thanking my lucky stars, as my daddy would suggest at this moment.” 

Daryl snorted. “What for?”

Carol shifted at your back and hummed in her sleep, her body already warm against you. “You. Thumper. This little family.” You wanted to be closer to him but without crawling under his skin, it wouldn’t be possible. And yet you were wrong. Daryl moved, angling his hip toward you so the weight of the baby could rest on him instead of pulling toward the floor. From that position, you were able to press almost flatly against his chest in complete relaxation. “Goddamnit, Daryl Dixon, I fucking love you.”

He hummed, nuzzling his cheek against your head. “So ya keep sayin’.”

“And I’ll keep saying it, too. Get used to it.”

Another day, another drive. It was cold. The breeze from Daryl’s window wasn’t helping anything, but you dared not speak it. Even with the ventilation, all you could smell was the burning tobacco. Why the man would be smoking after pneumonia nearly killed him was something you probably would never understand. Regardless, he was considerate about it. He always made sure the smoke was never blowing in your direction. It wasn’t even something that you found unappealing. Quite the opposite. Daryl made smoking look like less of a habit and more of something that was just a natural part of him. Even with your super senses, the smell didn’t bother you. It never had.

And it wasn’t bothering you at the moment either, but that didn’t matter. He was. 

“You realize that you nearly drowned from fluid in your lungs just a few weeks ago, right?” It was a jab, unnecessary and was meant to make you feel better, but couldn’t have been further away from that result. Absolutely no one would have missed the way he clenched his jaw, barely relaxing it enough for the next drag.

“Ya realize that bein’ pregnant ain’t a excuse to be a bitch all’a the time, right?” There was an immediate spasm of regret in his expression, his hand tightening on the wheel. “Didn’t mean that. M’sorry.” Kudos to Daryl for not holding in an apology after snapping, even if the apology wasn’t need because he was 100% correct. You slumped down in the seat. One hand rubbed your itchy belly while the other reached for his forearm and squeezed it gently until his grip loosened. 

“Don’t apologize. I deserved that.” You knew full well that you were being unbearable, even if it was something beyond your control at points. You had laid into the poor man for commenting that he should go through the bags and grab you a larger sweater because you looked uncomfortable in the one that now had to stretch to accommodate the changes in your body. He hadn’t argued when you called him an inconsiderate dick and spewed off anger and insults that you couldn’t even recall.

“Nah.” He flicked the cigarette out the window. “Don’t ever deserve me or anyone else talkin’ to ya like that, pregnant or not.” Those pretty blue eyes were catching the sun just right to give them a crystal shine as he watched the road. You didn’t miss the way they flitted down to your hand still on his arm, nor did you miss his left hand start to move toward it but retract. 

You gave him a smile, one that he began to fidget underneath. With a jerk upward of his arm, he prompted you to let go. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so you looked away, picking absently at the front of the oversized sweater he had dug out for you regardless of your tantrum.

Five and a half weeks left before you’d be roughly around forty weeks, which meant you could safely go into labor after the next week or so. While you were thrilled at the prospect of meeting Thumper, you were terrified of giving birth. So much could go wrong and there just wasn't the available equipment to ensure either comfort or safety. The thought of battling through without even the option of pain relief was daunting. You’d seen the movies, and though Lori had assured you they were all on the dramatic side, she did warn you that contractions were not still not fun. She refused to go through her birth story, wary of aggravating your nerves even more. She did add that every woman’s body was different and she couldn’t tell you much more than that. 

So what did you do? Naturally, you grabbed up one of Daryl’s books. You had placed it back in his bag after only two pages, fear doubling with anxiety to tag team in constricting your chest. He wasn’t any help, having no time to read lately. He was going by Lori’s advice and what he was learning from your cues. He was doing the best he could and you were thankful for him, even if you didn’t always show it.

Glancing over at him, slouched behind the wheel with his left thumb dragging back and forth over his bottom lip, you felt a pulse between your legs. Even with that god awful poncho, he was so fucking attractive. You’d barely let him touch you recently. He never seemed upset about it, always just pulling you closer after the initial don’t touch me had worn off. He never tried again, never questioned. Just rolling with the punches to ensure you had what you needed.

And at that very moment, your body was screaming that you needed him.

“Daryl.”

“Hmm?” He didn’t look over but your tone was level, seemingly unbothered. 

“I need you to pull over.” You licked your lips but he didn’t notice. Or maybe he did. The man had an eagle eye and an elephant brain. He glanced at you and then back to the road.

“Gotta piss again?”

Charming. “Yeah.” He always went with you now, standing on the other side of the tree so you didn’t feel like he had followed you into the bathroom. If he continued that trend this time, you’d beg him once out of sight and earshot of the group.

“One sec.” He blew the horn once, the signal to the group, and maneuvered the truck to the side of the road, just shy of the ditch. “C’mon then.” He got out and shut his own door but you didn’t move. Just as he knew your routine, you knew his. He rounded the front and opened the door for you, offering his arms to lift you from the seat and place your feet on the ground. There was a bit of strain on his face, but you tried to ignore it. The weight was from pregnancy. It’s the baby, it’s the baby. Don’t think about your weight right now.

“Thank you.” You patted his cheek and placed your hands on the small of your back, pushing your belly outward. “It’s fine.” You chuckled without even looking at him. The door had yet to shut which meant he was watching you instead. “Just stiff. Come on, I really have to pee.” Lie, lie, lie. You really needed his fingers stretching you open, his thumb against your throbbing clit. Maybe his mouth. 

“Jesus, woman. Slow down.” He huffed, having no trouble keeping stride with you. He was, of course, concerned that you’d fall in your haste. You stopped at a large oak, biting your lip with a nod. A glance back revealed the group was beyond visibility, but you’d have to be quiet. That was going to be difficult with how wound up you were. “G’on. I’ll be right here.” His back was already against the rough bark. You were suddenly reminded of the bite against your skin the day he came inside you for the first time.

Daryl reached for his knife, intent on toying with it, cleaning from underneath his nails with the sharp tip but your hand halted him from even unlatching the sheath. With a frown, he looked you over. You watched the slow process toward realization.

“Don’t really need to piss, do ya?”

“No.” You were already dragging your sweats and leggings down to your knees, taking hold of his wrist and all but slapping his hand against your damp panties. “Please.” Using your grip to hold him still, you ground your hips down for friction that would surely bring some sense of relief. “Please, Daryl.” With a sigh, he stepped forward and turned you so that your back was against his chest. He must have been feeling frustrated. How many times had you nearly had his digits slipping inside you before your body changed its mind? God, your poor partner likely had balls as blue as his eyes.

“S’alright. Y’should know by now that I’ll do whatever it is thatcha need.” And then he was pushing your underwear down one-handed and his middle finger was dipping into your entrance, your body clenching around the intrusion before it began to pulse and pull him deeper. “Fuck.” Daryl dropped his forehead to the back of your head with a groan. You were nearly dripping but this time, the burning ache for his touch wasn’t going away.

“Please.” You said again, rolling your hips, letting out a squeak when your clit pressed into the heel of his hand. “I swear it won’t take long. I just—dear god, I need you.” 

“I gotcha.” He whispered into your hair, pumping the digit in and out of your greedy cunt a mere three times before stretching you further with his index finger. The wet sounds accompanying his ministrations were absolutely filthy. “Christ, Y/N.” He was growing hard against your ass, the press of him against you nearly toppling you over the edge then and there.

“No.”

Another sigh from behind you and he was withdrawing with a gentle kiss to the back of your neck. “Better get back. They’re probably already—” The look on his face would have been hilarious if you weren't vibrating with a carnal need for him. It took all of three seconds for you to work open his pants and pull him free. There was a delectable hiss that you wanted to snatch with your teeth and bite into as if it were a living thing. Daryl’s hand shot out to brace himself against the tree as you fervently stroked him. 

“This. I need this.” You were absolutely going to implode if he didn’t touch you soon. Time was limited. Rick would bring Glenn and T-Dog to search for the pair of you if you took too long. It was time to see if Daryl was even capable of a quickie. He’d always somehow managed to fuck you for what felt like hours. You spun and placed your hands against the tree trunk, jutting out your ass, your hip bumping into the head of his cock. The moment his hand squeezed just one hip, you knew you’d need to hold on tight.

One thrust and he was bottomed out, the stretch of it painful and exquisite. Just what you needed. He wasted no time, pounding into you like his life depended on it. He was likely wound just as tight as you were. You had never been intentionally teasing him, just reacting to the will of your indecisive, hormonal body.

Thank god that same body was craving what he was giving you. 

His left hand slid around to support your belly, ever considerate of your comfort despite the frenzied state of his mind in that moment. Your clit was throbbing, begging for pressure and friction that you granted yourself for once as he skillfully plunged in and out of you, the head of him tapping that soft spot inside you that had you rising onto your tiptoes and bending as far as you could manage to open yourself up for him.

Daryl growled, an almost feral sound from deep within his chest, his thrusts growing sloppy. He was close but you were closer, already seeing stars with each stroke of your fingers. You continued to get lost in the way he was making you feel, forgetting to keep your own rhythm going. Fuck. He was going to throw you off the precipice without the need for your aid. “Right there! Oh god, Daryl—I’m gonna—”

“Ssh!” He released your hip in favor of bowing over your back to cover your mouth. He knew you too well. When his teeth bit down just to the right of your spine to muffle his own exclamations, you fell apart. Your walls clamped down on him, pulsing and squeezing until he shouted against your flesh, his hips stuttering against your ass. There was a rush of warmth inside you, welcomed and satisfying. After the spasms slowed in their intensity, Daryl gently, lazily thrust into you a few more times to ensure you rode every single wave. He didn’t slip out of you until you slouched with a contented sigh.

“God, I needed that.” You hummed as he pulled up your panties and leggings, adjusting them to be comfortable before doing the same with your sweats. “Thank you.” You whispered breathlessly, turning to face him as he tucked himself away.

“Ain’t never gotta thank me for somethin’ that’s yours, crazy girl.” The archer froze in the middle of securing his belt, staring at the ground somewhere between your boots and his. You found yourself unable to move as well, just blinking at him, wondering if that meant what you thought it did. His head was down but you could see him glancing back and forth between you and the dirt. When his hands released the leather, his right one circling your wrist, you held your breath. “Y/N —I, uh—”

“Hey!”

Glenn was one of the sweetest men you’d ever known but at that moment, you had never wanted to murder someone more in your entire life.

“You guys okay?”

Daryl grunted and let you go. “C’mon. I guess, they’re sick’a waitin’.”

You sighed but the words, the expression, the moment kept replaying as you followed him. Was he about to tell you that he loved you? It was such a strange feeling to somehow know that he did but feeling like that was made null by his unwillingness to express it. None of this was easy for him. I love you was something he had likely never heard in a way he could believe, from anyone who hadn’t at some point caused him pain. You’d wait. You’d wait forever if you had to.

They always said actions speak louder than words and his actions were absolutely roaring. You just wanted to hear it. Just once. Just wanted to be able to pluck the words from the air and lock them away in your heart to call back when you needed them during the times he couldn’t say it. 

You were nearly back to the truck when it hit you and you stopped with a heavy sigh that had your partner twisting at the waist to glance back at you. “Ya alright?”

With a wincing smile, you begrudgingly admitted: “I really do have to pee now.”

[restinslices]

Hello, I saw the publication, idea of MK1 characters with a combat medical reader, and I was wondering if you could do it. With the Lin Kuei brothers and if possible Harumi 😔☝🏻

Sorry for the bad English, it's not my mother tongue

L.N

Hey pookie. Ngl, I was having trouble making all of them different so imma pick one brother to do and if you want the rest, you can request again. Maybe spacing them out will let my brain marinate and actually work lol. Also I don't know anything about Harumi. I won't even lie to you-. Also your English is legit perfect.

I imagine that he'd meet combat medic reader at a young age

You're apart of the Lin Kuei, so he meets you when he's "adopted"

You still fight and all that jazz but you're also being trained in healing

He was adopted after his family was killed so um, yeah, he's a bit shook up and nervous

He doesn't know how he feels. He just stays in his room. He absolutely hates how everyone stares at him. He feels like he's being watched all the time

You're good friends with Bi-Han and Kuai Liang, so you're used to spending time with them at their place

I can see the first interaction being something simple. Like, his new dad (who is the Grandmaster of the clan that murdered his family) (I just CANNOT get over this shit) asks you to get him for dinner

You peek your head in his room to tell him dinner is ready. That's it. That's all.

He doesn't know who you are and honestly he has no intentions on finding out

But then over time he starts actually training, and that comes with injuries. He gets a real fucked up shoulder and is sent to your area

He's quiet the whole time for multiple reasons; he doesn't know you fr, he's still not sure about this clan, and he's watching you work your healer magic

You try to make smalltalk but he's kinda in and out of this world. Keeps zoning out. You can understand why though. Everyone knows what happened to his family

That's how your relationship is for awhile. He comes to get healed, then he leaves without really talking

Things change though when you're sent to get him for dinner again and you walk in on him crying

You're not an asshole, so you close the door behind you and sit by him

Neither of you talk. After some time you leave then come back with two plates of food

"I lied and said you were sick. Also asked if I could give you company" "Why'd you do that?" "I didn't want you to be alone in here" "Oh... thank you. Seriously" "It's all good man. You uh, wanna talk about something?

That's when the friendship truly starts. That act of kindness really sticks with him and now he truly thinks you're a good person to be around

He comes to you when he gets seriously fucked up in training or on actual missions. Sometimes he just chills out in your area and you two chat while you work on healing someone

I could see him take an interest in anatomy and shit after seeing what you do

I just see y'all vibing in your little healing hut a lot

I do think going on missions would be funny though-

"I gotta pop your shoulder back in place!" "You can't magically heal it?!" "Not this time!" "Hurry up then!" *pop* "DAMN!

"Do you get injured on purpose more when I'm here?" "I'm doing my best here"

As for when you start dating, honestly I don't see you dynamic changing much

A relationship with Tomas is like being friends but y'all hold hands occasionally

Oh and obviously you join the new clan (I am not googling how to spell that rn)

Gotta give y'all a happy ending sometimes

[jeansplaytoy]

aot people and what dogs they have

this was funnnn , no warnings !!

starting off , i feel like eren would have a french bulldog 😭 he don’t even seem like a big dog typa person (not in the animal way) but he would def name the dog after him like with the same initials or something. like ej (eren jeager) jr.

“ej jr, getcho ass back over here.”

“bruh ej jr ian even playin nomo bruh.”

“junior, why you eat my new…” and take a deep ass breath. “why you eat my new shoes?”

but to be honest he can’t even be mad cus him and the dog act just alike 💀 and i feel like ej jr would be hella nice, just play too much (like eren). like the amount of times this dog has took off down the sidewalk and eren just stood there, sick and tired of the bullshit. he’d definitely be one of those people that would be like “dogs too much to handle” but kept the dog no matter whatttt.

next up is connie, who would prolly have a doberman i’m not even finna lie. like he would want a dog that looks scary, but isn’t actually mean. and that’s specifically his dog.

like he’s trained enough that if connie tells him to attack like for real, that mf gon attack. but he’s trained enough to know if connie just playin or not. but he got it kinda good cus when i say everybody is scared of this boys dog …. it ain’t even funny 💀

everybody is scared of it except for the main group. he gotta keep it in its room (yet it had its own room) for somebody to come over his house.

and i feel like he’d name it like domino or spade (ykyk).

“yo spade come here lil bro!”

“spade go eat yo food, you had me fixing that shit for nun.”

“spade. go in yo room fool.”

he also squares up and play fights wit the dog 😭.

next up is jean. now this mf know he wrong, but he would have one of them tall ass dogs, like a irish wolfhound or sumn.

now this dog is sum else, jeans dog would be hella chill, but taking it out in public? 💀shiddd. everybody staring and looking like a mf and he honestly, HONESTLYYY don’t understand why. people will literally be like “bruh, that dog is huge as fuck.” and he’ll just be like “ion know what y’all be talmout, but ight.” AND IT AINT NO ACT cus he tall too😭.

the dogs name would prolly be clifford, ngl. the only difference is that the dog ain’t red. but other than that, he chill as hellll.

“clifford, stop tryna eat paper and shit!”

“cliff’ you chewed my bottle of water bro.”

“clifford, go. just go sit down, damn.”

there’s really no problems with this dog other than the fact that it’s big, but it’s trained a lot and hella good. like the dog knows to sit down in its normal spot when people come over and not to try to jump on people when they’re standing up, stuff like that.

so ony would probably have a small dog just like eren, and it’d probably be a papillon and lemme tell you, he would literally treat this dog like a princesssss omggg.

buy her clothes, paint her nails, brush and comb her hair, brush her teeth, treats everywhere in the bottom of the pantry. like he’ll treat the dog like his own daughter. he always holds her, she’s trained (kind of), like what else could a dog ask for?

but the namewise, i feel like he’d name his dog princeee, honestly. 😭

“princess, bring yo tiny ass-“

“you hungry, P’?”

“princess get that shit out yo mouth!”

of course he’ll only fuss at the dog if she really being disobedient like the time his bed was covered in toilet paper, like ten rolls.

now speaking of fussing, mikasa will forever get fussed at for buying not one, but two black perro de prasa canarios. when i say this girl don’t give a damn bout walking at night with her hands full at all, even when the dogs ain’t on a leash, they’re trained REALLY good. so when she’s actually scared or nervous about somebody following her, they’ll do exactly what she says. full on barking and then stopping mid bark when she says so.

everybodies scared of her dog (and connie would be jealous because not that many people really care about his when they see hers) but it’s not even on purpose, she just wants them for protection honestly.

their names would probably be bullet and gun. obviously.

“gun, bullet, why is there dog food everywhere?”

“gun, bro stop tryna fight bullet.”

“bullet, stop shaking water everywhere!”

bullet is bullet because he got a lot of energy and gun is gun because he’s more intimidating. like they got the spike collars and all, mikasa was not playing.

last but not least, sasha would have a dog that she could laugh at everyday, like a greyhound.

now honestly her and this dog will argue each other from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes back to sleep. they would be so on and off. 😭 but she’d dress the dog up and stuff and be really nice to it.

the only thing she’d really laugh at is how skinny the dog looks. but the name would probably be bones.

“bones, stop chewing on my airpods cases!”

“bones, get out. please get out.”

“bones stop scratching meee!”

but she obviously loves her dog cus she’s the type to have it since she was like 16 maybe. and they play fight too but she always ends up losing the fight, and one of her lashes in the process.

let’s not talk about how i fg to put armin, hope u enjoyed.

[beeelderly]

"You're drunk, and this is a party, and when we die, people will remember the good things that we did."

transcript by robotchangeling below the cut!

Ali: I would like to text Jesset the face_with_spiral_eyes. [Keith chuckles] Face with spiral eyes.

Austin: Oh, damn. Right, the like, you're—

Keith: That’s actually the title of a Breka book. [Ali laughs]

Austin: Yeah, yeah, that one. The one that you've now just posted. Yeah. Ooh, what’s the response here?

Keith: The Face With Spiral Eyes.

Austin: What’s the response? Uh, I'm looking at my emoji. I'm looking at my emoji. I should not just focus on these emoji. We can invent our own. We’re from the future.

Ali: Yeah.

Austin: And maybe it’s just— it’s one of these, the face exhaling, you know? 

Ali: [laughs] Yeah.

Austin: Like, phew.

Keith: Oh. I thought that was sad tired guy eating the rest of his cotton candy is what I thought that was.

Ali: No, you did not think that. Anyway. 

Austin: You didn't think—

Sylvia: You didn't.

Austin: That’s a lie.

Sylvia: Come on. [Keith and Ali laugh]

Austin: That’s not true.

Ali: I think Brnine sees that and laughs and, like, [Austin: Mm-hmm.] looks up from their phone. [laughs] 

Austin: Oh, right, because you're both at the party, right?

Keith: Yeah, like, looking around.

Ali: Just, like, to find Jesset.

Austin: Uh huh. Yeah. Are you still surrounded by people, or is that…like, what’s the…?

Ali: I mean, this is…this is…

Austin: Wind down.

Ali: This is hour four, hour five of the party.

Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ali: You know?

Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think texts…I mean, are you still— you're not surrounded by people then, so yeah, I think maybe he just comes over then, finally, and just sits down and is like:

(as Jesset): Done holding court.

Ali (as Brnine): Yep.

Dre: Damn.

Austin (as Jesset): You got all that interview practice, and now you're using it on us.

Ali (as Brnine): [sighs] Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, what’s up?

Austin (as Jesset): How are you?

Ali (as Brnine): I'm chilling, man.

Austin (as Jesset): Bontive Valley.

Ali (as Brnine): Hear, hear, hear.

Austin (as Jesset): What’s next for Captain Brnine?

Ali (as Brnine): Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I gotta ask my crew, I guess. You good, man? I heard that you were, um… [Jesset sighs] I heard you kinda went through it while I was…

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah. Yeah. Uh, faced down Crusade a little early.

Ali (as Brnine): Oh, you softened them up for us.

Austin (as Jesset): [laughs softly] I'll take the W.

Ali (as Brnine): [laughs] Well, thank you.

Austin (as Jesset): Thank you for getting the, uh, that big Divine involved. I don't think we could have done it without them.

Ali (as Brnine): Oh, right, yeah, Fealty and them.

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah.

Ali (as Brnine): Gotta get some Ws.

Austin (as Jesset): Um, I did think I was going to die, though, and that made me think about some things.

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah. Yeah. Same, bro. [Ali laughs quietly]

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah. Pshh, I try not to think about the ones that— you know, we've lost some people over the years.

Ali (as Brnine): Mm-hmm.

Austin (as Jesset): What do you think people would say about me— ah, don't worry about it. Uh…

Ali (as Brnine): Wait.

Austin (as Jesset): Don't worry about it.

Ali (as Brnine): Like, if you died, or like…?

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah, if I died.

Ali (as Brnine): You can't ask somebody that. [muffled laughter] Why are you— come on, man. Don't think like that. What are you doing?

Austin (as Jesset): Sorry, I've had too much to drink. 

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah.

Austin (as Jesset): I should just…

Ali (as Brnine): You’ve been doing this for a long time.

Austin (as Jesset): I might have been doing it for too long. I, uh…Partizan. Phew.

Ali (as Brnine): [laughs quietly] Yeah.

Austin (as Jesset): It seems so far away.

Ali (as Brnine): Yeah. Yeah. I've been, uh…it’s funny. I've been thinking that as well.

Austin (as Jesset): Do you— [cuts himself off] Good luck on the next mission.

Ali (as Brnine): No, what were you gonna say?

Austin (as Jesset): It’s fine. I should talk to you when I'm not drunk. [Ali laughs]

Ali (as Brnine): Okay. I think they still got some, uh…

Ali: I can't think of a food. [laughs] 

Austin: Churros. Uh…

Keith: Cotton candy.

Dre: Shrimp.

Austin: Cotton candy. Shrimp. Ugh. These are all bad drunk foods. [Ali laughs]

Dre: Well, popcorn shrimp? I don't know.

Austin: Popcorn shrimp.

Janine: Cotton candied shrimp.

Dre: Ugh.

Austin: Cotton candied shrimp. Blech!

Keith: Cotton candied shrimp.

Austin: [laughs] I don't know about that.

Ali: Ugghhh.

Dre: Hey, I hate it.

Janine: It’s, like, furry and sweet.

Austin: Right.

Dre: No. [Austin and Keith laugh]

Ali (as Brnine): Go get some bread. 

Austin: Bread is the thing.

Ali (as Brnine): Go get your bread up.

Austin (as Jesset): Go get my bread up. [laughs] You know I keep my bread up. 

Janine: [laughs] What the fuck?

Ali (as Brnine): I know you keep your bread up.

Austin (as Jesset): Keep my bread up every day. Every day!

Ali (as Brnine): That’s what they would say.

Austin (as Jesset): That is what they would say. [Sylvia laughs]

Janine: Uh…

Ali (as Brnine): Jesset always kept his bread up.

Austin (as Jesset): That’s what they would say. [laughs] I always kept my bread up. Ugh, rise and grind. 

Keith: Like the dough.

Dre: Sure.

Keith: Like the dough of the bread.

Austin: Like the dough.

Keith: Rise and grind.

Dre: The Millennium Break mindset. Rise and grind, baby.

Austin: Yeah, that’s right. Ugh.

Austin (as Jesset): [sighs] There are people we lost, and no one even says their names anymore. That’s what’s on my mind. And when it’s done, I don't know if anyone will remember any of us, and it might be our fault because we don't do a good enough job of remembering the people who brought us here. That’s what’s on my mind.

Ali (as Brnine): Well, you're drunk.

Austin (as Jesset): Also some other stuff, but yeah.

Ali (as Brnine): Um, you're drunk, and this is a party, and when we die, people will remember the good things that we did.

Austin (as Jesset): Mm-hmm.

Keith: Eventually we'll have Phrygian’s funeral. [Ali laughs]

Austin (as Jesset): Ah, fuck. We have to have Phrygian’s funeral.

Dre: Oh, man!

Austin (as Jesset): Oh.

Ali (as Brnine): I thought that that happened already, but we should have that.

Austin (as Jesset): We should have that. Do you— oh. There hasn't really been time for funerals. I don't know that I've been to one since Partizan.

Ali (as Brnine): [laughs] Oh, right. Ugh, god. No, I— we just— I just did that— [laughs] You want to hear something funny? [Dre laughs]

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah. 

Ali (as Brnine): Cori. 

Austin (as Jesset): Cori.

Ali (as Brnine): You know Cori, little Sunset?

Austin (as Jesset): Uh, pink hair. [Sylvia laughs]

Ali (as Brnine): She threw a punch at her dad’s funeral.

Austin (as Jesset): She threw punch at her—? She threw a punch.

Ali (as Brnine): No, she punched somebody.

Austin (as Jesset): Who’d she punch?

Ali (as Brnine): I don't know. 

Austin (as Jesset): Oh.

Ali (as Brnine): Some girl, I think.

Austin (as Jesset): Mm. [Sylvia laughs loudly]

Ali (as Brnine): You know, she might— [laughs] she might end up like me one day.

Austin (as Jesset): I could see it.

Ali (as Brnine): It’s a good start.

Austin (as Jesset): Her own ship?

Keith: Iridescent.

Austin (as Jesset): You don't need an engineer on board, do you?

Ali (as Brnine): Wait.

Austin (as Jesset): Ah…no, it’s…you know, I always told myself the Bontive Valley was the thing, and I guess we're gonna try for other stuff. Shale Belt, Carleon, Temple. I don't know what’s next, but it seems really far away, and I've been in the caves and the mountains for a few years now. You know, I should just stay. They probably need me, but…and you already have other things going on, but. [quiet conflicted laugh]

Ali (as Brnine): Um, you know, that’s a lot to consider.

Austin (as Jesset): It is.

Ali (as Brnine): Um…

Austin (as Jesset): I'm sorry. I'm gonna get bread.

Ali (as Brnine): No. Yeah, sure. I'll text you in the morning.

Austin (as Jesset): Yeah.

Ali (as Brnine): Okay.

Austin: Stands up, hands on knees. Hands on log. I've been picturing us sitting on a log around a bonfire. You know, like, you know, like a bonfire.

Ali: Yeah.

Austin: Push up. Little nod. Slow walk away. Later that night, texts you an emoji of bread. 

Ali: [laughs] Cool.

Austin: Uh huh.

Ali: Oh how this relationship would be if they didn't talk to each other when they were drunk or sick all of the time.

Austin: Mm. Mm. Mm. Perfect. Love it. [Ali laughs]

Dre: Mm.

Sylvia: That’s what makes it the situationship.

Austin: Yep. [Ali laughs]

Dre: Yeah.

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Sylvia: Yeah. At least in my experience.

Ali: Hey, can I move in with you? Wait, nevermind. I gotta go.

Austin: Nevermind. I'm gonna go get some bread instead. [Ali laughs]

Sylvia: Oh my god.

Austin: It’s fine.

Dre: Man.

Austin: Uh huh.

Ali: We've all been there. [Austin laughs]

Sylvia: Yeah.

Dre: College, am I right? [laughter] 

Austin: College, phew, yeah. [Dre laughs]

Keith: Jesset picks up some corn just to drop it.Austin: Yeah, that’s how it feels sometimes. [Ali laughs]

[opossumloverr]

✞°•I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS•°✞

(Based on this song, I know you know this song. don't lie to me)

Summary:

Turtle bros with a ghost reader!

Warning(s):

Some cursing!

A/N:

I MUST BE DREAMING CAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOST YEAH, sorry, anyways, idk I just felt a little silly today, and I really do love this song. also I'm trying a different style DONT BULLY ME IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO GRADIENT

It was a chilly October night, the leaves rustled as the four brothers made their way towards an abandoned graveyard. The atmosphere was dark and gloomy, but they were determined to explore the area, for reasons unknown to anyone but themselves.

"I don't like this, guys. Let's turn back," the youngest brother, Mikey, shivered.

"What? No way! You said you were bored, Mikey. This is exactly what we need to get our blood pumping!" another brother exclaimed.

"He was bored, Leo, not us. You didn't have to drag us all here," one of the brothers groaned in annoyance.

"Sorry that Mr. Bootyshaker9000 wanted to stay indoors and rot. I'm preventing the inevitable!" Leo clapped back.

"I'm trying to prevent hitting you with my Tech Bo," Donnie gripped his weapon tighter.

"Try it, you won't," Leo egged Donnie on.

"You little…" Donnie scowled, lifting his weapon before getting interrupted.

"Enough! Fighting is not the memo right now! Now you two cut it out or else I'll…wait, what was that?" the oldest brother paused on his scolding to scope out the area. A pungent smell of perfume floated in the air, and chills went down their spines.

"I'm getting really bad vibes here! I told you we should've gone back to the lair!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Mike! It's probably all in our heads," Leo tried to come up with a reasonable explanation, but a gust of wind shut off all of his thoughts.

"What was that?!" Raph exclaimed.

"It's a ghost!" Mikey chattered.

"That is preposterous, Michael. There is no such thing as a ghost-"

"No, he's right."

They all screamed in unison, clinging onto Raph. "AH!"

《RAPH》

After the shock and some failed punching attempts, he finally decided to talk instead of fight, and it was a delightful conversation

yall sat down and talked for hours, He asked a few questions, and you answered them

he made sure not to ask personal questions, like how you died and stuff (unlike Donnie, that insensitive prick)

was kinda sad when he had to go, but gotta make sure pops doesn't worry,

he promises he'll see you again

a few weeks later you show up in his room, sitting down calmly on his bed, or, erm, floating.

he threw multiple items at you before calming down and realizing that it was you, what were you doing here? how did you know where he lives?

all of those questions were brushed off when he heard that you just wanted to see him, and only him.

his heart pounded in his plastron, you wanted to see him? big ol' him? cue huge tail thumping into the ground

yall talked for HOURS, him talking about Lou Jitsu- wait, you've never watched Lou Jitsu? he's inviting you to family movie night. there's no getting out of this.

over the months, the both of you got close, he no longer throws objects or tries to throw hands when he sees you!

enjoys the company when he lifts weights

"Wow, those seem heavy," you said, impressed by his muscles as he lifted the weights. 

"They are heavy, but don't worry, Raph's got gains!" he replied, flexing his muscles with a curl-up. 

"Can I try?" you asked, reaching out your hands. 

"Sure, but be careful. I'll be here to spot ya!" he said, passing the weights to you. 

However, you forgot that you were transparent and accidentally dropped the weights on his tail, causing him to scream in pain. 

"Oops! I forget I'm transparent sometimes... You just make me feel so alive..." you said sheepishly. 

"I-I make you feel alive?" he questioned, seemingly forgetting the intense pain in his tail.

HES SOSOSO SILLY GUYS I CAN'T

《LEO》

He had never sliced a portal open this fast

before he could dive head-first into his portal you floated in front of it

you just wanted to talk... okay... but he's keeping a close eye on you

a few minutes later he's blabbing about Jupiter Jim to you, you've never watched it? what? do you live under a rock? or... a grave...

and you seem so interested! he could talk about it for hours! you know he could.

he literally clung onto the ground when it was time to leave, complaining as Raph dragged him away

he shouted a quick "See you soon"

he saw you soon alright, in his room, looking at his pile of Jupiter Jim comics curiously

He literally screamed like a girl

Oh! it's just you... where did you come from? oh, you just wanted to see him, not his brothers? him?

boosts up his ego by 100x

"I knew you couldn't get enough of me" type of energy

proceeds to yap about Jupiter Jim some more, what? it's YOUR fault for indulging in his hyperfixations

yall are the talker and listener duo

"And so Jupiter Jim was all like- pew pew pew! and the aliens were all like- Ohno! and then- hey, hey [NAME], are ya listening?" He questioned,

"Mhm, go on, I'm all ears"

Leo's eyes widened, and small churrs could be heard "OKOK! And then Jupiter Jim was all like, no way jose!"

He just like me fr

《DONNIE》

There is no logical way this could be happening! ghosts? really?

immediately started asking questions, why do you exist? how do you exist? would you perhaps be interested in some experiments, y'know, for scientific purposes (definitely not for his own personal questions)

his questions just kept on coming and coming, some of them being more insensitive than the last, he would've said more if Raph didn't smack him on top of the head...

but you were happy to answer them non the less

when they had to skedaddle he was pissed, how dare they interrupt! can't you see there was science in the making?

he says he'll come to you, for more questions of course, nothing more... (cap)

he didn't expect you to come to him.

he jumped a little but then started going into his "I ask you, answer" mode

Experiments on you (with consent ofc)

discovers you have telekinesis

you two grew close, his experiments died down the more he learned about you

now, he just really enjoys the company

just knowing that you're there watching him while he tackles a project gets him so motivated

you're like his little assistant

"[NAME], be a dear and pass me that wrench over there," he asks, hand out, palm open,

"You got it boss" you floated the wrench toward him, and he grabbed it

"Thank you, you really are a great help, [NAME]"

"Just glad to be here Don-tron!" you smiled, not noticing the slight wag to his tail.

He really appreciates you

《MIKEY》

He just kept screaming and screaming until you snapped him out of it

what? why aren't you trying to take his body? and why aren't you freakishly creepy, you just looked like a normal person, minus the floating and transparency

Oh, you just wanted to talk? well, as long as you don't possess his body he's all for it!

The conversation was amazing! he got so much more information about ghosts, he's even more fixated on them now!

you got this turtle laying on the ground, twirling his mask tails in his fingers, kicking his feet, saying "Ooh! Tell me more!"

was whining like a puppy dog when he had to get up on out of there, puppy dog eyes did not work in his favor tonight..

he swears up and down that he will visit you, just wait!

I guess you've waited long enough, because the following week you were caught snooping around his room

he screamed, yes, he won't lie.

but it's not his fault that you popped up out of nowhere!

then starts talking to you like he didn't scream like 100 decibels

Just yip yap yapping away, but you don't mind, you enjoy socializing with him

kinda sad that he can't touch you though, sometimes he wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around you

you're his muse! asks you to pose for him, and you happily oblige

"Okay just keep that position, right there, perfect! such an amazing muse for me!" He smiles,

"Well, it's easy to pose when I have such a wonderful artist painting me" You replied,

"Awe shucks, don't compliment me like that! you're going to give me an ego" he chirps happily

lala and okok duo. that's all I have to say.

BOO! HAPPY NEW YEARS GUYS OMGOMG 2024 IS HOPEFULLY GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR, HERES A LIL DITTY I WROTE, I HOPE YA LIKE IT, IM GETTING ON MY GRIND RIGHT NOW, I love ya! Merry 24, also I was watching Coryxkenshin while writing, shout out to the shogun. There also MIGHT be some grammar mistakes, kinda rushed to get this out

[nyaagolor]

Howdy again, if it's the meta world VS "real world" thing in Umineko that's got you stumbling, don't worry. The assumption Ryukishi and co. seem to be going with is that the meta world IS real, and everyone's just chilling in a happy magic afterlife post-series (hence how episodes 7, 8, and 9 can even happen). The "07th Expansion All Characters Settings Collection" guidebook even has little epilogue blurbs for the cast, I can link you the translation hosted on the wiki if you want. It's still bleak in the sense that, yknow, everyone was dead from the start and the whole journey was more of a "coming to terms with what happened" kind of deal, but I think it works given stuff like the Divine Comedy references going on (if you read Battler as Dante and Beatrice as uh, Beatrice, a lot of Umineko'll start to make sense). The way I see the split is kind of an "as above, so below" type deal - while Tohya is down in the land of the living trying to write and solve things, Battler and friends really are up there fighting for their lives in purgatory, and the two reflect each other. Of course if that's not the problem you have, I'd love to hear what you're thinking!

hiii thank u for the ask!! (sorry this will be a Long One). I'll admit the meta world / real world stuff tripped me up at first, because looking at episodes 4 and 8 it really seemed to be implying that the metanarrative was the coping mechanism of Ange+Tohya and their way of pretending like their loved ones got the happy endings they didn't get in life rather than something we can actually assume happened. However extra content implies this is not the case, Ryukishi doesn't feel like the author who would do that especially after the thesis of Higurashi, and tbh even if he did there was enough plausible deniability that I would just imagine the Golden Land as real because You Gotta Cope Somehow. I love the "as above so below" vibes too, that's a fun new aspect to incorporate

My biggest hangup with the ending was basically in the idea that Sayo's narrative is fundamentally doomed. I was under the impression that the boat scene was implying that Sayo couldn't be happy even if she did escape due to the burden of the truth / her trauma. The positive framing of the catbox remaining at the bottom of the ocean initially struck me as a "her death is the happiest ending you can hope for because of how fucked up this all is" which is already a nihilistic narrative but downright unbearable when given to an intersex trans woman. I just don't vibe with hopeless trans narratives at all, and felt like I had misinterpreted smth bc Ryukishi isn't really a nihilistic guy. I'll admit I got a little soured to the narrative as a whole when I looked around online and saw people talking about how Sayo getting a happy ending was "missing the point".

After talking to @heartgold I realized that I had reversed the causality a bit. I was under the impression while playing that Ryukishi's insistence that "things had to happen this way" was him not just saying "oh everyone is already dead, the end result is already the same bc we're looking back at past events" but also "it doesn't matter what individual actions people took, it was always going to end in tragedy". I realize now it's more of a "this was totally preventable in so many ways but it already happened and now we have to grieve and cope in whatever way we can manage" kinda thing rather than a "this is fate and Sayo was screwed regardless", so I'm cool with that aspect. (Also I won't lie I prefer to imagine the boat scene as almost entirely metaphorical and more of a representation of the fragmentation of Battler's consciousness due to trauma in a similar way as what happened to Sayo, but that's neither here nor there)

The other part of it, and the thing I'm still really hung up on, is the question of whether or not the Golden Land is actually a happy ending and, if it is real, whether we're supposed to view it as a sorta perverse tragedy. On one hand, the alters are all implied to be separate people and they get their happy endings (yay), but on the other hand that doesn't really fix nor address Sayo feeling like she needs romantic love to be fulfilled (also The Incest(?) I'm genuinely unsure if the whole "alters becoming separate entities" negates the incest or not). The idea that Sayo was so far gone that even the fantasy created from her best memories does not allow her to truly be happy is just so insanely depressing to me, so I find myself stuck with that friction of wanting Sayo to have her prince and her white horse and her fantasy happy ending while also not wanting to downplay the truth. Having this little moral dilemma feels like the point of Episode 8 and really gets us into Tohya's head, which is awesome, but also gives me a lot of mixed feelings. Knowing that Sayo's truth literally has Beatrice married to Battler makes it even tougher bc I can't just use plausible deniability and say they're platonic bc they are uh. very much not as far as Ryukishi is concerned. I'm still working out my feelings on it, mostly because I desperately want Sayo to have everything she's ever wanted but also having to contend with the little part of me that's whispering "it can't and shouldn't happen and you know it". Alas. Umineko.

PS: thank you for telling me about the character booklet, that's SO cute!!! I love the little details about everyone and the cat-ear Bern is everything I've ever wanted

[pro-mammonologist]

I'm not gonna lie, I can't help but wonder what Mammon would be like with an MC who gets super giggly and kinda spacey when they're drunk (totally not based on me whaaat?)

like if he's sober too, would he feel more protective and make sure they don't run off anywhere? would he entertain their bubbliness and try to prolong it? does he just get super soft? I gotta know, I would love to get drunk and have my own personal mammon being kinda sweet on me ngl.

anon :)

First and foremost I can’t foresee mammon choosing to not get drunk with Mc but I bet if he did happen to be sober, he’d get a taste of his own medicine. And he would fold. He’s always folding for Mc. That’s normal. This is what I see happening.

Slap! “Oops!” You said as you accidentally knocked a textbook onto Mammon’s floor.

“Hey! Hey!!! Watch out! You’re gonna have to clean that!” Mammon chastised you watching you giggle at him.

“It’s book, I can just pick it up!” You bent over in front of him and jokingly wiggled your backside in front of him.

He sighed tiredly, patting it softly. “Uh huh, there ya go.” You giggled again, touching your butt as though it was sacred now. “Man, I am never getting human world alcohol again.”

You spun around and landed right back on the couch with Mammon. Your body smacked right onto his lap and he winced in pain. “Sorry baby.” You said, flipping around to look up at him.

“Damn watch out, Mc. That kinda hurt!” He sucked his teeth as you stared at him, looking at the one enlarged pore on his chin, that he seemingly was unaware of.

You poked it. “Boop.” And broke out into laughter. Mammon groaned again and you reached for the bottle. Before you could wrap your hand around it, he snatched it away.

“No more!”

You were still giggling, pretending to be a baby in crib reaching for the wine bottle Mammon stretched out of your reach. “Waah! Waah!” He looked absolutely exhausted but he couldn’t help but smile at your dumb little impression.

“Come on ya big baby, this is for adults only!” He used his free hand to pinch your cheek making you smack his hand away, but after his fingers left your flesh, you took both hands and grabbed his, looking at his digits. Mammon felt his heart throb as you gazed at his hands so innocently, complete with big eyes and a bigger smile. “You’re cute you know that?” He told you softly, placing the bottle back on the table.

You looked to his eyes before taking a chomp at his fingers.

“Mc! Stop!”

“HahahaHAHAHA!” You were going insane to him. One second you were looking like a puppy now you’re over here acting like a feral dog.

“Jeez, next thing you know, you’re gonna be barkin’ like a dog.” He’s irritated just a little bit but he’s far more entertained by the way you’re going absolutely nuts. It’s unbelievably adorable and it’s also just something he’s not used to from you. Sure, you can be silly, but, man—

“Grrr! Woof woof! Bark!”

He needed to stop giving you ideas. He was laughing with you now, loving how your nose scrunched up with your brows and especially the way you rolled back and forth on his lap. You’re really like a little puppy. Mammon petted your head as you stopped yourself from laughing to breathe. He’s so whipped he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

“Hey Mc.”

You breathed deeply, closing your eyes. “Mhmm Mammoney? You gonna tell me you got a crush on me???” There you go, making yourself laugh again.

“Listen, chill out… just wanted to say you’re precious.”

You opened your eyes and looked at him. “Like treasure?”

“Like treasure.”

Two things he learned from today:

1. Don’t give Mc alcohol.

2. Please give Mc alcohol.

[solar-halos]

i finished the umbrella academy s4. i am not amused. here are my thoughts (looong post incoming)

1. i don’t remember diego being so fucking annoying. actually that’s a lie he’s always been annoying but since he was hot i let it slide but now that he’s not treating lila right (how do u fumble a baddie THAT HARD) i think he should participate in the shut the fuck up challenge

2. “their uncle will pick them up” HUH? like obviously this timeline is different but you’re telling me lila has uncles (and parents! or someone! she was talking to some elderly couple before the party!). what does that mean for the others… were their mothers still killed in this timeline or did klaus live out his little amish dream, even if he wasn’t around to experience it? ykwim? like did they show up to this timeline and someone was like “omg where did u wander off to? i was looking all over for u!” and then it turns out it’s their sibling/uncle/whatever in that timeline and they just have to be like ah yes. i surely do know who u are

3. what they did to lila and diego was criminal!!! “she said she couldn’t get pregnant while breast feeding. but she could” dramatic ass reveal for no fucking reason. like get over yourself diego

4. ok i know they prob couldn’t get rays actor to come back but what the fuck do u mean he walked out. and how can allison afford that nice house when all she’s doing is being in commercials nobody wants. our girl has a BEAMER. also i thought they weren’t supposed to have phones or anything like that so why does allison have a vape lollll. not complaining bc that scene was funny to me but why and how

5. ughhh they were tryna set up lila and five SO BAD in the beginning. and even then they still gave off intense sibling vibes

6. ok maybe im just too american but the gun imagery was kinda not it for me. like idk i think the bit with santa claus coming out shooting at everything was supposed to be funny but idkk i think im just too sensitive bc i was like mkkk whatever not funny. also i know luther has super strength but even in s1 he still got majorly injured when that chandelier fell on him but now he’s fucking indestructible apparently?? like getting shot at and stuff?? what???

7. ok but that grandma loading her old timey gun while she turned to the siblings like O.O was funny i’ll give them that

8. speaking of guns wtf siblings are killing EVERYONE. like ik they started the apocalypse and everything but idek just the way they did it was so weird. like less detached/guilty and more like… triumphant? satisfied? idk but it had a different tone than even s3, i remember in s2 it was such an intense ordeal when allison made those two european brothers kill each other but this time they straight up mass murdered a bunch of ppl in a small town and were like B). like ok. like allsion mutilated that guy in front of her DAUGHTER and it was just chill. major tonal shift

9. “you just had to one up me” 1) you just killed a bunch of ppl diego!! 2) that is NOT the lila and diego i know. the real lila and diego would have started making out nasty style the moment lila killed that guy w her laser eyes. also wtf were the point of the laser eyes. she used them like twice and then that was it

10. with that being said all that affair stuff and recovery and addiction and relapse was getting so heavy. which ik is the point and the umbrella academy has always been heavy but like holy shit u GOTTA pick a struggle. is lila gonna groom five or is klaus gonna give claire trauma cos u can’t have both

11. speaking of claire… “would it help to remind u that we were just as shitty at her age” no u fucking weren’t. u could have breathed at ur british alien father wrong and he would have made u do drills until u puked. don’t play rn

12. why did they not trust the audience to pick up on the fact ben spiked their drinks. like we did not need a full on FLASHBACK. or like to be fully immersed in that scene, a tiny little flashback would have done

13. ok but why is this season so scary. like that train station made me paranoid

14. i will never forgive them for what they did to my girl lila. she used to serve CUNT

15. that british lady alien annoyed the fuck outta me

16. WHERE was pogo. and grace. they needed to find a way to bring them back. maybe they could have transported to a universe where the apocalypse happened and now the world was getting ruled by a planet of [gunshots]

17. why the fuck was diego acting like jennifer and ben weren’t linked in some way when all of s3 they alluded to the jennifer incident every other scene. i get it was supppsed to be so obvious even to someone who has ONLY watched s4 that jennifer and ben were linked so it was just a case of diego being stupid BUT that doesn’t work when it’s already been established that they all know jennifer played a part in ben’s death. hence calling it the Jennifer Incident

18. “they tried to address that in later scenes” they failed. they didn’t know how ben died, fine. but they knew jennifer had something to do w it. i’m tired of scenes that poke fun at diego for being stupid. he’s not stupid—he’s cocky

19. okay no but this season was SO gory. like. whatever they have guns this is a revolution but the guts? the intestines?? they wanted to be stranger things sooo bad

20. no but we need to talk about that. the monster thingie at the end was so stranger things and the guns and the military and everything it was like we were back in s3 (or whenever we met the russians)

21. LOL but that scene where diego finds out about five and lila was lowkey funny. this season was so meta in general

22. speaking of the holidays… i sure did love watching everyone sing christmas carols and walk around in the snow when it was hot asf in real time

23. i do like how many parallels there were to s1. like w viktor and reggie, it was very viktor and leonard in s1. and klaus getting kidnapped. although i was kinda tired of klaus getting abducted and his siblings not giving a fuck. i thought there was supposed to be growth there

24. okayyy but ben and jennifer were cute SORRY. “let’s get married” that would have worked on me. however being rude to me while i was at work WOULDNT have worked on me so maybe yall are right maybe we didn’t need a love interest this season

25. i did NOT expect them to actually drag out lila and five’s love story. other than the age gap (no matter how ur looking at it) you already knew it was gonna be bad as soon as they had their first kiss. i hate those multiple little open mouthed kisses that are literally just ALL lip and spit like that’s fucking gross if ur gonna stick ur tongue in my mouth u better do it by the third little :O we got going on there. and then five was giving boy. like literal boy. and lila is a literal goddess but a goddess that’s well into her 20s and the contrast was so sharp it rlly was giving mom and her caucasian child. i mean that bit about lila viewing it as survival vs five actually clinging onto it showed their different levels of maturity, but since it’s never specified if five is still a 50 year old man or just aging normally, his reaction rlly was such a teenage boy thing. “i’m gonna kill him” man shut the fuck up

26. ok no bc we need to talk about this. i think fives actor is my age—maybe even a little bit older—but i don’t see how anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to find him attractive. like idk it’s weird in the show but even creepier irl cos lila’s actor had to have known him when he was still a minor. why did anyone at the umbrella academy think we wanted this

27. anyway not to make this about myself but when i was writing the odesta longfic there were a lot of lore inconsistencies as we kept going bc i forgot some of the details and was too lazy to go back and read it sometimes, and i think that’s what happened this season. the most notable detail is when klaus covered his ears while everyone was shooting at each other. i was expecting some sort of vietnam flashback but like no. he was just there being normal about it, all things considered

28. “ex-squeeze me?” it wasn’t funny when klaus said it in s1. and it wasn’t funny here

29. alright i think that’s really all i wanted to say about the season tbh… like idk diego and lila starting a family made sense i guess and i know they were falling out of love (even tho they would never do that…) but i didn’t rlly feel any of the love w the kids. like even when lila stepped off the train at the last min and her daughter was banging at the glass it looked more like she was like “oh no :(“ and then just started poking at the glass. i don’t even think it matters that she didn’t fully know what was going on—if you’re a child and ur mom steps away in an unfamiliar situation, you’re gonna start to freak. especially w everything else that was going on

30. ok this is such a small thing to harp on but they abused the fuck outta that time skip font. like i don’t think they ever used it that much before now

31. now let’s get into the ending. this is how i would fix it:

we can keep jennifer. whatever. that thing they added at the very last second about her having a particle that causes the end of the world was… whatever. like i get it. they needed a way to explain the end of the world and that was the thing they used and even if it was very late to introduce such a (admittedly confusing) bombshell, at least it fits in with what we already know about this universe’s rules. magic and particles and marigold and whatever. jennifer is fine.

tbh when jennifer started feeling sick i was honestly thinking that they were gonna go the surprise pregnancy route even though they weren’t even fuckinf hinting at that i just have no media literacy. i wouldn’t have minded that tbh, like the monster transformation made more sense but imagine if we did a twilight ripoff for a second, except that jennifer and ben were both equally protective of the killer baby growing outside of jennifer’s womb (or in her womb… whatever. point is there’s a baby). i don’t think this is a good idea—if anything i think this is a shit idea. but something that’s always been so prominent in tua are the moral implications of what they’re doing, like with everyone wanting to kill harlan in s3 instead of letting the entire world die, and with everything that happened with viktor in s1. there was the whole “i can’t kill my brother” bit, sure, but everyone kinda didn’t rlly seem too enthusiastic about it.

actually the baby addition is actually a shit idea. i’m just keeping that part of the rant in bc we need SOME sort of moral dilemma that isn’t just viktor arguing w hargreeves and then his siblings dropping in later with opinions that don’t even seem that strong. everyone needs to have a strong opinion on SOME sort of moral issue that we wanna introduce—that, in a perfect world, we’d be building up to throughout the season—and then yeah whatever there can be an epic fight scene

i don’t watch/read a lot of time travel stuff, but from what i gathered, the timeline can never be restored once it’s fucked with. there has to be consequences, like with any story. and tua did address that—they tried restoring the timeline thousands of times—but i think they shot themselves in the foot there. time travel with a (somewhat) happy ending is possible—there just has to be something to lose, and it has to be something that isn’t nonnegotiable. claire was nonnegotiable, which is why i think they stayed in s3’s timeline for as long as they did

point is, i think they should have gone back to 2019. i mean i don’t think anyone really wanted them to die. i made a joke in s3’s rant that i would just give up, but lucky for me, i am not a fictional character in tua, so the fact they just die in the last five mins and we’re supposed to be ok w that makes the last three seasons pointless. like, actually pointless. what was the message here? why is the ending of the show painted as some sort of utopia just bc we got rid of the siblings? and why is five okay with that? i think him being on board w dying could have been an interesting route to take if they showed his relationship w his siblings consistently deteriorating (both on screen AND off screen) but they only rlly managed to do that with diego, and it was for something fucking stupid

ANYWAY. bring those fools back to 2019, but don’t make them totally happy. just give them something that makes them all just stay put, like how allison has claire (doesn’t matter which timeline. it could be from the fucked up timeline. i don’t think the cleanse would happen bc of that bc claire is only one person and not an entire fucking organization like tua or an assassination like jfk. so hell. might as well throw harlan and sissy in there for viktor. that makes lila and diego’s motivation really easy for staying put, cos then they have their kids. klaus is klaus and no offense to him but i think hes just gonna roll w the cards he’s dealt without trying to fight back, for better or for worse. then ben can have jennifer and since they love each other idk they just stick around. then five’s motivation for staying is that his family is alive and none of them want to leave and that’s good enough for him bc that’s why he time traveled in the first place

again… i don’t think what i came up with is any good. i just think it’s better than them all dying at the last fuckin second. i think this show relied on a lot of haha random xd humor at the beginning and they tried to keep that intact here but everything got so serious that i think them all dying rlly did seem like the only way out but.. it’s not. they could go back to the way things are as long as there were consequences. it would suck, and none of them would be as happy as they could be, but they know that’s as happy as they’re gonna get, so whatever. like, if we were gonna take the suicide route, we might as well gone the time loop route and gone back from the very beginning when five blinks back to 2019. i think that rly would have driven home the “this all would have happened anyway” point way better than them just being like guess ill die :) bc ughhh. no they wouldn’t. also they wouldn’t let lila leave bc she still had marigold in her but… what about her and diego’s kids?? they’re half marigold, and claire is a quarter, so… what’s up with that?

[tinukis]

Random but... Sabosan modern au thoughts?? (if you like it, of course) 👀

modern au my beloved (also sabosan in my asks i cheered)

anyway !!! i love modern au So Much and like there will be many different versions because im indecisive <3 but my favorite one is college au (thank you one piece academy for being my inspiration for some things. like thank u for giving me cafe worker sabo???) + im a college student as well... not that i have a social life but it'd be nice to have your favorites in your situations. i wont lie, it's hard to imagine ace and luffy in college. maybe ace has a better chance but luffy? hard to imagine unless hes into gymnastics or something but anyway this is about sabosan

sabo and sanji meeting is inevitable thanks to luffy. but it was more like passing by and just meeting luffy's friends at their house. however, sanji cannot keep his eyes off sabo and he hoped that no one would notice (they did. except sabo) out of respect though, no one brings it up or forces it out of him. they do tease him here and there but it all falls on sanji's shoulders and he gotta deal with it himself. but luffy is always willing to help if sanji asked. luffy tells him where to meet him and where he works, he doesnt have every little detail as these two were just the biggest ones.

again, sabo works at a cafe so sanji decides to go there and check it out in his free time. sanji just chills there and straightforwardly asks to talk to sabo (doesnt specify what) and bc he was luffy's friend, sabo was willing to listen. he does ask to go on a small break for this as he thought it was something urgent but a small talk was fine. i think sanji was a little awkward on how to approach this cause he honestly had no idea how exactly he felt about sabo (still questioned his sexuality poor guy) like did he have a crush on him or simply felt like being his friend? who knows! anyway sabo carried most of the conversation til sanji felt more comfortable to open up a little bit. they do have a great time talking and bond about luffy before sabo had to work again, but he invited sanji out once his shift ends.

after hours they end up strolling around the neighborhood before it got too dark and sanji really liked to be around his presence. he seemed very gentleman like, too. and sabo's relationship with his coworker/friend reminded sanji of luffy and another certain redhead. sanji noticed that sabo was able to cook and offered recipes which sabo was eternally grateful for. as the day ends, sanji thought he hit it off with sabo well. and even before heading home, sabo handed sanji his phone number so that they could make plans to hang out more or even just talk over the phone. (though it kinda complicates things more for sanji bc first off he had a "love at first sight" moment when he laid eyes on sabo, and every time he saw him whenever he'd visit luffy, it was hard to Not Look at sabo every time his presence is felt. and now sanji finally mustered up the courage to talk and officially befriend sabo just to get his number at the end? not only that they technically went on a mini date after his shift? even if it was a little stroll, sanji would be lying if he said his heart wasnt going to jump out at any moment)

on sabo's end, he admired sanji and was grateful to have someone like him look after his little brother in his stead sometimes. as mentioned before, sabo did Not notice sanji's glances at all so he was a bit surprised that sanji would talk to him.

theyre dynamic in modern au is friends to lovers but also mutual pining bc theyre silly like that

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry] pt. 5

read part 4 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: major character death, depictions of murder/suicide

a/n: okay here we get to see the toxic psycho behavior start to come out! this part is so different from the last that it gave me whiplash to write. n e ways hope you like

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even before I turn over, I can feel Ethan’s eyes on me. 

He grins. “Hey, good morning,”

“Hi,” I say, sitting up against the backboard. “Have you been up very long?” I check the alarm. It’s relatively early still, only 8:15.

“No, no,” he says. “I just didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

There’s an awkward tension between us, neither quite knowing what to do now. Eventually, Ethan clears his throat. “So I, uh, I had a really special time with you last night, and I kinda want to keep hanging out? If you want to, I mean.”

“You mean like, go on some dates?”

“Um, yeah? If that’s cool?”

I don’t know if he’s ever asked a girl out before because he absolutely cannot look me in the eye, but his expression is so sweet that I lean over and gently kiss him. 

“That would be great.”

He smiles, and I almost lose myself in this moment, until I remember the rest of last night. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” I say, untangling myself from his arms. “I gotta go see Tara.”

Ethan frowns. “Wait, why?”

“I have to apologize. She’s all alone right now, Sam left last night.”

“I don’t see why it’s your job to tell her you’re sorry, though,” he says. “She literally slapped you.”

I pull on some discarded jeans and a t-shirt. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sigh. “I don’t want this to become a big thing. Easier to just apologize now, you know?”

He gets up and wraps me in his arms, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Alright. At least let me drive you? It’s too far to walk right now.”

I know that it’s a bad idea to bring Ethan, but the feeling of his arms around me and the faded scent of his cologne is intoxicating. I can’t help but be persuaded.

“Fine, okay,” I say. “Thank you.”

He gives me one more quick kiss on the neck before pulling away to get dressed.

***

Usually, the drive to Tara’s is ten minutes long. Thanks to Ethan’s driving habits, we make it in five.

Pulling up to the house, a wave of nausea and jitters passes through my body. I’m considering turning around until Ethan takes my hand in his. The non-verbal reassurance calms me down, and we walk into the house together.

I’m surprised to find that the door is slightly ajar, deadbolts forgotten without Sam in the house. I know that she’s still gone– her car is missing from the driveway– but my theory is confirmed when I find a note on the kitchen table: 

At gmas. Don’t text. Call when you can have a real conversation -Sam.

“That’s brutal,” Ethan whistles.

“Yeah.” I remember how Sam looked at all of us last night, and it sends chills down my spine. I push it away. “I think I should bring her something.”

Ethan laughs. “Don’t you think that’s over the top?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Oh, whatever. I just want this to work.”

Opening the fridge, I find a bottle of orange juice that Tara once mentioned was her favorite. “Hey, that’ll work.”

Ethan grabs a ceramic cup from the cabinet and hands it to me. “How about making it special? Got any mixers?”

“Like Sam keeps any alcohol in this house,” I scoff, pouring the juice into the cup. “Plus, a mimosa isn’t the best hangover cure.”

“I don’t know… I was thinking something more like this.” He reaches underneath the kitchen sink, pulling out a bottle of drain cleaner. 

I laugh, thinking he's kidding, but he doesn’t crack a smile or put the bottle away. “Come on,” he continues, pulling out an identical cup. “She’ll puke her guts out and you’ll get a little revenge before you apologize.”

He pours in blue liquid and mixes it with equal parts orange juice. I can’t lie, I’m a little horrified. “Don’t be a dick, Ethan, that stuff could kill her.”

He pauses for a second, and I can’t read his expression before his face softens. “You’re right, Y/N. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

He leans in and kisses me unexpectedly, and even though I’m still weirded out by his suggestion, I melt into him, letting the moment take me.

“Is okay,” I mumble into his mouth. “We gotta go. She’s probably waking up now.”

Without looking, I grab the cup from the table, distracted by Ethan’s eyes raking over me. It feels good to be wanted like this. I smirk at him and turn on my heels. 

He follows me up the stairs, and together we approach Tara’s door. I know she’s in there by the sound of her sleep music playing softly, even though it’s past 9:00 at this point. Tara’s usually an early riser, but I’m willing to bet that the hangover is preventing her from starting her day.

Out of courtesy, I knock gently on her door. “Tara? Are you in there?”

No reply. Not wanting to give up, I turn the knob and let myself in. She’s laying in her bed, facing away from us. “Hey, Tara?”

Tara turns over, and I can tell she’s not happy to see me. “What are you doing here, Y/N? And with… Ethan?”

Even though she’s trying to ice me out, she’s clearly interested in whatever happened between us. I clear my throat. “Yeah. Listen, Tara, I know both of us said a lot of stuff we didn’t mean last night–”

“Did we?” she interrupts. “I don’t know, you seemed pretty fucking sure of yourself when you got in the middle of my family business.”

Her words hurt, and I can feel Ethan shift uncomfortably behind me. “I know. Can we just forget about it?”

I hold out the cup and she eyes me suspiciously. “What, did you spit in this or something?”

“Jesus, Tara, no,” I sigh. “I came to say sorry or whatever. You said it’s your favorite.”

This seems to persuade her. She takes the cup from me, sitting up in her bed. “If this makes me feel better, I’ll consider accepting your apology.”

This makes me smile slightly, and I can see a glint in her eye that tells me she might not be as mad anymore. She lifts the cup to her lips and drinks, and I relax a little, thankful she accepted my peace offering. 

But something is wrong. Really, really wrong.

As soon as she swallows, her face scrunches up. She drops the cup, spilling the contents on her comforter.

“Tara?” I say, “What’s going on?”

She’s hacking now, and I see her start to convulse. I’m full-on panicking now. “Oh my god, Ethan, call 911!”

He’s completely checked out, watching Tara choke. “Fuck, Ethan, just do it!” I scream.

This seems to wake him up, and he grabs his phone from his back pocket. “Jesus, it’s fucking dead!”

This can’t be happening. I take her head in my lap, trying to elevate it so she doesn’t choke, but there’s no use. Tara wheezes and wheezes, then suddenly goes still, blood starting to trickle from her mouth.

I’m frozen. I can’t do anything but stare slack-jawed at Tara’s gaunt face in my lap.

Then it hits me, and I start screaming.

“Oh my god! Fuck, fuck, how could this happen, how could we kill–”

Ethan suddenly slaps his hand over my mouth, frighteningly out of character for him.

“Y/N, stop, please, stop! Someone’s going to hear.” He retracts his hand, and I feel my eyes welling with tears. I’m shaking. 

“Jesus Christ,” I say. “I just killed my best friend.”

We sit in silence for a second until the reality of the situation dawns on me. “Holy fuck, what are we going to tell the cops?”

I can see the cogs in his brain turning, and he stumbles around the room. Suddenly, Ethan stops and picks up a copy of The Bell Jar from Tara’s desk.

“Okay. Now, we did a murder, and that's a crime. But, if this were like a suicide thing…”

“A suicide thing?” I don’t follow.

“I mean, you can do Tara’s handwriting just as well as your own, right?”

I suddenly understand what he’s asking me to do, and the thought makes me sick. But we have no other option. 

I gently lift Tara’s head off of my lap so I can get up and rip out a piece of paper from her half-full history notebook. “Fuck, what do I say?”

Ethan thinks for a second. “We have to tie it back to last year. Make sure to talk about her fight with Sam last night.

It feels impossible, but I force myself to start writing.

Dear world,

You might think what I’ve done is shocking. To me, though, suicide is the obvious answer to the impossible challenge life has given me. 

Though Richie Kirsch and Amber Freeman did not kill me last year, they stole something much more valuable– my will to live. 

The absence of my father and sister, the deaths of some of my closest friends, and then the departure of my mother, all combined, made me realize that there is no one left who really knows me, no one who really cares. 

I can’t live like this any longer, alone and afraid of an enemy who isn’t there. I died knowing that there was no other option for me. I hope you can understand.

Tara

By the time I’m done, I’m shaking so hard that I drop the pen. The page is stained with my tears, but there’s no time to rewrite it.

I collapse on the ground, and Ethan wraps his arms around me. “I know, I know,” he says.  “It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

taglist: @miawastakens

[leansuccubus]

death of our sanity and singular collective braincell; heartsteel fanfic- pt1 - i know your secrets

warnings ⚠️ contains swearing, flirting like how you flirt w your friends, it’s more of a platonic thing really. Friendly bullying, just homies being homies

You created a groupchat

You named the groupchat “🤡🤡🤡”

You: guys.

Settrigh🗿: HEY WHAT’S UP?

You: HI SETT

Settrigh🗿: HI

Settrigh🗿: SO WHAT’S WITH THE CLOWN EMOJIS?

You: that, you’ll find out soon

You: i made a gc because we’re all homies here, and we needed a gc 🥰🥰🥰

You: i also have some interesting…news to share

Settrigh🗿: uh oh you’re scaring me

You: don’t worry sett, it’ll be okay 😁😁😁

Settrigh🗿: ALRIGHT… although something is telling me i probably shouldn’t trust you

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: spill

Croissante🥐: Hello. I’m here. I’m concerned but slightly intrigued 👀👀👀

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: the FUCK did they go, they can’t just come in here, say they have to say something AND THEN LEAVE???

G R E E N 🌿: i’m kinda scared too 😳😳😳

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: you’re always pscared what’s new 🗿

G R E E N🌿: THATS BECAUSE YOU GUYS HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH JUMPSCARING ME, YALL SUCK ☹️

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: #justiceforezreal

G R E E N🌿: SEE? APHELIOS GETS IT

Croissante🥐: Yeah…

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: ez. he’s the one who SETS UP THE JUMPSCARES

You: the dye must’ve leaked into his brain and killed all his braincells 💀💀💀

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: hes a blonde, he already had negative braincells to begin with 💀💀💀

G R E E N🌿: STOP BULLYING ME 😭

You: No.

G R E E N🌿: YES.

G R E E N🌿: DIDN’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL US?

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: if you don’t tell us, i’ll throw a shoe

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: i’ll throw his other shoe 🫥

Settrigh🗿: that would leave a mark

You: OKOK CHILL

Settrigh: We need to know please 😔😔😔

You: okay so.

You: yall know how i was at the dorm yesterday

You: i’m surprised it didn’t smell like straight cheese and sweat

G R E E N🌿: ARE YOU IMPLYING IT SMELT LIKE GAY CHEESE AND SWEAT

You: WHAT? NO. IM SAYING IT SMELT SURPRISINGLY CLEAN FOR A PLACE 6 SWEATY ADULT MEN LIVE IN

You: when they know basic hygienic 😍😍😍

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: QUIT YAPPING JUST TELL US WHAT YOU WANTED TO TELL US

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: YAPOLOGIST FR

Settrigh🗿:

You: CHILL IM MULTITASKING

You: anyways, I was on my way to sett and phel’s room to play some animal crossing bc they’re animal crossing addicts

Settrigh🗿: I’m an animal crossing addict and im not afraid to admit it XD

You: so on the way there, i had to pass ezreal’s room. and i shit you not, i hear him talking to himself

G R E E N🌿: oh lord. not this.

You: oh yes.

You: wanna tell us what you said EZREAL?

G R E E N🌿: nope i think i’ll pass 😃

You: that’s fine, i’ll just say it myself

You: when i walk past ez’s room, i hear him full on simping for lux, begging them gods to let her notice him

Settrigh🗿: WHAT THE HELL XD

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: jesus christ. i knew ez’s crush on lux was bad, but i didn’t know it was this bad.

G R E E N🌿: STOP NO ITS NOT TRUE

You: YES IT IS.

Settrigh🗿: oh it’s true, why would reader ever lie to us? xd

G R E E N🌿: ITS NOT I SWEAR 😭

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: we’re never letting you hear the end of this 😭

G R E E N🌿: I HATE YALL 😭😭😭

Settrigh: Aw we love you too <3

Croissante: Lol. Ez gotta be more careful next time

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸😈🤘👹👹👹: bro’s rizz is in the negatives

Settrigh🗿: bro is in the trenches

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: bro is tremendously down bad

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸😈🤘👹👹👹: we’re never letting him live this down are we?

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: no we are NOT

You: and that’s not even all

You: y’all are so strange istg, the shit i hear whenever i’m over is just insane

Settrigh🗿: THERES MORE???

You: after passing ez’s room and busting nerves from trying not to laugh, i pass k’sante’s room, and the door is WIDE open

Settrigh🗿: uh oh

Croissante🥐: Yeah… uh oh is an understatement

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: bro is cooked 💀

You: i saw him scrolling on grindr 💀💀💀💀💀

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: 💀💀💀

Croissante🥐: YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS 💀

You: DONT ACT INNOCENT

You: I SAW YOU K’SANTE

You: I SAW YOU.

You: YOU EVEN SAID

You: “DAT ASS THO”

Croissante: I DIDN’T THINK ID BE EXPOSED. I DIDNT THINK ANYONE SAW

You: I DID.

Settrigh🗿: Oh god… what else? XD

G R E E N🌿: we’re all curious, don’t leave us hanging 🤷‍♂️

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: i second this 👀

You: when i FINALLY reach sett and phel’s room…

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: you’re making it sound like one of those stories old people tell you about how they got to school 😭

G R E E N🌿: “i climbed 2 mountains and walked through the snow” lookin ahh

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: 💀💀💀

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: real

You: STFU

You: anyways, what do i hear???

Settrigh🗿: oh god. please no

You: KISSING. NOISES.

You: YALL FR THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR

Phel🤫🧏‍♂️: 😟😟😟

You: y’all have anything to say about that?

Settrigh🗿: READER.

You: yes sett? 🥰

Settrigh🗿: how could you…😔

You: because y’all didn’t invite me to join 😔

Settrigh🗿: you didn’t even ask you bastard

Settrigh🗿: ya snooze ya loose yk

G R E E N🌿: one time i heard them kissing in the laundry machine

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: same, they were like so loud 💀💀💀

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: at least sett was, bro sounded like a subaru

G R E E N🌿: LMFAOOO

Croissante🥐: Lol

Mother 🤤🤤🤤: What on Earth did I just come back to?

Mother🤤🤤🤤: I spend a few hours experimenting with samples and check my phone for the time, only to see a hundred notifications. Shouldn’t you guys be cleaning?

Schizophrenia🧑‍🎤🎸🤘😈👹👹👹: RUN. ITS MOTHER. RUN FOR THE HILLS

[jellybeans2099]

A preview

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Spiderperson! Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: The reader is a bit of a mess and Miguel is not having it

A/N: I'm working on something kinda related to Release but more fleshed out. Here's a little taste of what I have so far. Let me know if this is something you all would be interested in.

Seeing Miguel for the first time honestly felt like a jump scare. His 6'9 stature and his overall physic made him feel like concrete wall come to life. It was your first real day at HQ after months of saying no thank you to the invite. Peter B was giving you a tour while rambling on about something related to Mayday. It was impressive to say the least, but to say you were impressed by it was a stretch. The architectural choices and overall use of tech was just not really your thing. You gotta give props to it though, seems like a really cool place. Stepping into his lab was almost disorienting and you felt an unexplainable urge to leave. Probably coming from the man taking his sweet ass time getting down to the ground.

"So nice of you to finally join us. We've been trying to get you here for months now, or so I'm told. I don't keep up with this stuff much these days."

When he steps off the platform he isn't even looking at you. You're just another recruit to get on his nerves it seems like. How irritating considering you didn't really wanna join in the first place.

"Yea I gotta say I wasn't super interested in joining but I've got nothing left to loose so I figured why not?" He finally gives you a glance. You can tell your response caught him off guard.

"Ah so this is just something to fill in your free time?"

You see his eyes slowly start to fill with frustration. He thought you weren't taking this seriously and to be honest you weren't. It felt a lot like a fragile man inflating his ego with importance. You wanted to push his buttons just a little bit more.

"Yea in a way I guess it is. Walking around here though, it seems like a real big passion project of yours so I'll say I'm impressed. Still not really my thing with all the tech but it's cool."

You see a tinge of full anger in his eyes and there you have him exactly where you want him, actually paying attention to you like you're not just a speck in his day. As quick as you see it, its gone in a flash. He composes himself and begins to give you the low down on why you're here. This is how things will be with Miguel for the rest of your time here, you pushing all of his buttons and him trying to suppress any reaction to keep his "cool". 

The next few times you arrive at HQ for a mission you make a point not to see him. Dismissing any briefings to a simple 3 paragraph message in some database while chilling at home in your own universe. You honestly couldn't care less about the happenings there, not when so many things in your own universe needed attending to. Which is total the lie you tell when you ping home instead at the end of a mission. The others didn't know that but Miguel surely did which is why you fucked off in the first place. You just really liked pissing him off. It was almost compulsory watching how the tone of his messages got harsher and harsher in tone.

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Level Up Finale Sneak Peek

Life is still more than a little crazy for me right now, but I am getting work done on the finale of Total Drama Level Up. Here's a brief preview for you all.

After nearly a week, the storm over southern Toronto had finally broken. The gray clouds that once choked the sky had broken into small clusters, allowing the morning sun to shine through for the first time in days. The rain itself had ended sometime in the night, its only remaining evidence being swollen run gutters and puddles that dotted the landscape, soon to be evaporated by the heat of the summer.

Zee took all of this in as he sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria, glancing out the window as he picked at some waffles and took the occasional sip of soda. The silence was broken by the squeaking hinges of the entrance door swinging open; Zee looked over and offered a small smile.

“Morning, dude,” Zee said to Damien, who paused on his way past the table.

“Morning Zee,” Damien said after a moment. “You uh, doing okay? After last night and all.”

Zee sipped his soda and shrugged. “Eh. Still kinda sucks not having Lauren around, but at least I’ll get to see her later today, so I can’t complain too much.”

Damien nodded, hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I gotcha. Listen, I know we haven’t talked much this season, but I wanted to say sorry about Scary. I meant what I said yesterday; I have my issues with her, but I have nothing against you.”

“You’re good, brah. This is just how the game goes. And I know Lauren gets… pretty intense sometimes, and she got a little competitive this year. But deep down, she’s a cool girl.”

Damien shrugged. “Well, she can’t be all bad if she wound up with someone like you. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask for three days: how did that happen?”

“Well, it started with her wanting to hear about how I lost my leg. Then we just started hanging out, watching movies, getting to know each other…” Zee paused for another sip of soda, blushing faintly. “Then when I saved her from Zombie Robot Caleb, she just up and kissed me. Caught me off guard, not gonna lie. I did a lot of thinking that night about the time we’d spent together, and realized how like, nice it felt to be with her. So the next morning I went looking for her to ask how she felt, turns out she liked me back and… Here we are.”

Damien nodded along with Zee’s speech, noting the sincerity in his tone. As odd as it still felt to hear someone speaking so fondly of Lauren, Damien couldn’t deny the two seemed happy together. And who knew? Maybe Zee’s chill nature would help curb some of Lauren’s intensity. (Or at least, Damien hoped, direct it towards anyone but him.)

“Well I’m happy for you,” he finally said. “Like you said, at least you’ll get to see her today.”

“That’s right.” Zee cracked an amused smile. “And hey, at least you won’t have to face her for the million, right?”

Damien chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect. On that note: nothing personal, but I’m fighting like hell for that prize.”

“I’d expect nothing less, brah. Do what you gotta do, so will I, and may the best player win.”

“Thanks, I’d planned on it.”

Zee and Damien looked up at the familiar scratchy voice. They’d been so engrossed in their conversation they hadn’t noticed MK enter the cafeteria and saunter up to them.

“Last chance to back out now and spare yourselves the humiliation of losing to me,” MK said with a smug smile

Damien barked out a laugh, crossing his arms. “You wish. I got this far; I’m seeing this through to the end.”

“Me too, and I’ve got a lady to win for,” Zee said, holding his soda can over his heart.

“Ooh, the power of love,” MK snickered. “What’s next? You gonna take me down with a Care-Bear Stare? Team up with the others to blast me with a friendship rainbow?”

“Big talk from someone that needed Julia and Scary Girl’s help to even make the finale,” Damien said with a smirk.

MK smirked right back. “Maybe I did. But in the end I’m here and they aren’t.”

[misc-obeyme]

CC 😭😭😭 lesson 30 was a rollercoaster huh. Tbh as a Beel lover, I wasn’t happy w how Belphie was acting here. I asked Beel what he thought of the Angel's Trial and Belphie just cuts him off!! And he made Beel sad and that is unacceptable to me 😤 (he says not to make him mad but no spoilers for og lesson 16 could make me choose not to be a petty bitch when I can) Beel is his own person and too sweet for this shit

Telling Sol his cooking sucks was :((( 0/10 I would've gently reminded him ratios are important especially in baking and just make sure he's not putting anything inedible in there. Or tell him to focus his creativity solely on the plating/presentation bc you eat w your eyes too or smt idk

I kinda found it funny when Sim basically told Luke he was an ugly crier. Poor baby, I hope the egg grants him that wish

I get this was setup for Levi's Little D arc but teasing the truth again makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. I know Lucifer suspects smt abt us. We know Barb knows something

Speaking of Barb, I choose to believe that the Little Ds are gonna be important later and that Beel did eat Number 6 but Barb uh, made sure that didn't happen actually

AHH anon, this lesson KILLED ME. I'm so sorry to everyone who had to read the unhinged post I wrote last night lol.

Okay, see, I was so wrapped up in the Solomon debacle that I forgot about the whole Beel & Belphie thing.

I get that Belphie is being protective, but I also felt like he wasn't really taking Beel's feelings into consideration! I think there's a fine line between being protective and being controlling. And Belphie was right on the edge of that line, imo. When you're being protective to the point that you're ignoring the needs of the person you're supposedly protecting well... it kinda defeats the purpose there, buddy.

I wonder if they're going to kind of expand on that at some point. Have the twins hash it out with each other. Because I think Belphie isn't normally like this, but I think he's still wary of humans. And his concern is overriding his usual consideration of Beel's feelings.

OKAY LET'S TALK SOLOMON AGAIN.

Listen, I've had a little time to calm down, but I am still UPSET.

Now, of course, it's best to remember that this is fiction and nothing in fiction happens the way it would irl. BUT if I had a friend (or romantic interest/boyfriend/etc) who really enjoyed cooking, but for some reason always made gross food, I probably wouldn't lie to them directly. I would do exactly as you suggest, gently remind them of how to follow a recipe and so on. I can't imagine that Solomon has spent all his life trying to learn how to cook and somehow keeps screwing it up? Like considering how much he does it, he should be getting better at it?

And apparently someone told him his cooking tasted bad in season 3 of the OG, but I don't remember that lol. If it's in the hard lessons, that's why I don't remember... I haven't actually finished all the hard lessons of the OG... oops I keep forgetting they exist my bad.

Anyway, my point here is that it doesn't make sense that someone doing something they enjoy all the time wouldn't get better at what they're doing at some point. I get that this is fictional and maybe they have a reason for it, but they need to tell us what it is because I can't take HIS SAD FACE. Normally I'd be like listen sometimes you gotta be honest or whatever, but not like this!! I would've been like what exactly did you do to make the cake taste this way, let's figure it out together... I would help him, not just be all sorry this is gross and leave it at that!

Sorry sorry I'm ranting again. I just love that silly sorcerer so much and his reaction just made me so sad.

I'm so curious about what Luke is finally gonna wish for lol. I feel like Simeon teases him the most out of everybody, he's just so chill and nice about it that it doesn't register as teasing.

I just don't understand why hiding the egg's existence was a good lie while telling Solomon his cake was good wasn't??? Ugh my heart.

AND OH YES LEVI.

I was very upset about that, too!! Like, no you don't understand!! I do need to leave, but I need to get back to you!!

I want to go back, but I don't want to go back! The stress of this is getting to me. Can we please hurry up and be done with this timeline nonsense?! Barb definitely knows something. I just want him to fix things! I think I'd have confronted him about it by now. I don't care what Sol says about not telling people we're from the future, I'd be like Barbatos, my true love, I know you already know, so let's hear it!! What is going on!?!?

I definitely think the Little Ds are going to be important later, too! Something about the fairies seems like it's going to matter as well, but I'm not entirely sure how yet.

Oh no poor Number 6! Even if Barb saved him, I would think being eaten would be rather traumatic lol.

[liquidisedfrogs]

EUROVISION RANT 2024

Last night was the night of creativity and culture that all (probably only like 20%) of Europe adores. Eurovision is one of the times when I, who am a very chill and non-judgemental person, will barf out my thoughts and write my commentary (cos I'm better than Graham Norton). STRAP IN MOTHERFUCKERS.....

We started this wonderful evening with a performance of Hooked On a Feeling which I gotta say is a banger but what's with that Burger King background? He was decent, to say the least but more or less it was just an old dude who stood on the stage singing which is just quite meh. Loved the flag parade, Swedish music is awesome. 

PERFORMANCE 1 : SWEDEN- UNFORGETTABLE- MARCUS & MARTINUS This is a damn catchy song but how are you supposed to tell those twins apart?! I loved the sort of club/ravey vibes it gave. The staging with all the flashing lights was pretty awesome. (ngl those twins were kinda cute) THE MEN IN BLACK DANCERS KILLED ME. It gave Matrix vibes and I'm here for it. The costumes reminded me of F1 drivers but I love it. Rank no. 10

PERFORMANCE 2: UKRAINE- ALYONA ALYONA & JERRY HEIL- TERESA  & MARIA Honestly, one of my favorites. Feminism in a good way. The taller woman gave off such Boudicca vibes and I love that, both women were so gorgeous and had amazing voices put together. I did say the rock reminded me of The Lion King but I really liked that. The costumes were also so aghhhh the Rey-Boudicca and the knight were such a great combo and the song was really catchy. Rank no.4

PERFORMANCE 3: GERMANY- ALWAYS ON THE RUN- ISAAK So. Much. Fire. Ya know, I'm actually disappointed by the fact that it wasn't in German. It's a solid song. It was quite rag-n-bone man style but I appreciate that. I do have to say it wasn't something ridiculously special but it's a nice song and a guy who looks like he gives a good hug. Rank no.14

PERFORMANCE 4: LUXEMBOURG- FIGHTER- TALI Firstly, I love her hair. It's so long and so pretty and she has got an insane voice. I'm not a fan of the song, though. It's too repetitive, extremely forgettable, and just mid song. It just wasn't anything special, it was a quite nice Middle Eastern vibe tho. Rank no. 23

PERFORMANCE 5: He got disqualified so I will not be ranking this.

PERFORMANCE 6: ISRAEL- HURRICANE- EDEN GOLAN What in the voodoo contortionist shit was that position at the beginning? Her dress tho, why she looking like she's just escaped Ghostface. Oh and look more shirtless men.  This isn't the worst song it's just not  the best. Another mid one like literally all of them this year. The dance was giving ring a ring a roses and the floor screens just were not it. She has an amazing voice, I won't lie that she doesn't but it's just not my vibe. Rank no. 17

PERFORMANCE 7:  LITHUANIA- LUKTELK- SILVESTER BELT This is one of my favourites. It's a catchy European bop and I love itttttt. The tracksuit looks well warm. I adore his jewelry its so nice. I literally started cossak dancing it was so catchy. It's a real vibe and I really appreciate it. The short people had me in stitches it was hilarious. It gave off severe jamboree vibe sbut I love that cos it's vibrant and bright and just pretty fucking awesome. Rank no.7 

PERFORMANCE 8: SPAIN- NEBULOSSA- ZORRA I am ashamed to say that I thought this was gonna be high ranking in my books but no. I am a changed person. This is a family show. I get that there's one like this every year but damn this was fucking scary. The men. In fucking thong arsed things. Nicht gut. The song was pretty good tho so and the 80s vibes rlly sold it to me. On the basis of the song not the staging, it was great. And, I mean, making out with a dancer on stage in front of your partner is very eurovision. Rank no. 13

PERFORMANCE 9: ESTONIA- 5MIINUST x PUULUUP-  (NENDEST) NARKOOTIKUMIDEST EI TEA ME (KÜLL) MIDAGI I swear this is just a group of dads who've gone screw it we're doing eurovision and rocked up with 90s rap up their sleeve and traditional instruments. I think its such a vibe and I would kill to be them when I grow up. The suits were great, idk what was up with the slits but for some reason it felt like what a k-pop group would wear to the met gala. Literally the cha cha slide. Rank no.9

PERFORMANCE 10: IRELAND- BAMBIE THUG- DOOMSDAY BLUES Fucking incredible song. Harry Potter mentioneddddd. Their make up is on-point. The song is on point. The outfit is on point. Everything abt it is so wonderfully perfect. The nails are a bit odd but its a vibe. The witches circle was incredible, the screaming bit was too. so witchy, so emo, so awesome. I loved the chilled out bit, in contrast to the rest it was perfect and probably needed. The reduction of clothing towards the end was pretty funny, my brother stared a bit too much but oh well it was great. Rank no. 1

PERFORMANCE 11:  LATVIA- DONS- HOLLOW What in the blue man x Gru crap is this? Honestly I didn't really register this one so I don't have a huge opinion on it. Also gives of Rag-n-Bone Man vibes even if it is  a typical eurovision song. Altogether its a meh song, not a fan, and the fit is just downright strange. Rank no.24 

PERFORMANCE 12: GREECE- MARINA SATTI- ZARI I am confused by this one. She has impeccable vocal control. I am extremely admiring that. The song was just a bit of a rubbish mishmash. There was too many elements. I did quite like that and the live stream addition watching on tv was quite nice. I'm confused by the outfit as well, everything just seems all over the place. It's giving Doja Cat but European. I liked the dance moves and it was pretty darn funny but just a bit mental. Rank no. 18

PERFORMANCE 13: UNITED KINGDOM- OLLY ALEXANDER- DIZZY As the youtube comments said, this gives severe gay lockerroom corn vibes. Just what the friggity frack. The crotch protection while dry humping each other?! It's just a bit odd. I did like the song. It's super catchy and very annoying. That guy can sing but maybe he needs to reevaluate where his loyalties lie in that. The staging was so confusing like for the whole thing I didn't know what was up or down or left or right, it was just mental. First proper European vibe English vibe that I've got. Very odd but it's sorta loveable. Rank no.19

HONOURABLE MENTION: LISA WOODRUFF - My whole family were so confused by this but the song was so funny for no reason such a vibe. It was genuinely better than some of the artists we've had this year. Mental but awesome.

PERFORMANCE 14: NORWAY- GÅTE- ULVEHAM I really enjoyed this one. The vocals are so ethereal and the 90s grunge mixed with Norwegian instrumental influences match perfectly. Stunning lady with an amazing band with her. The song just flowed ad the staging was all sea-witchy and I loved it. Great song, great staging, awesome euovision track. Rank no. 3

PERFORMANCE 15: ITALY- ANGELINA MANGO- LA NOIA The see through ish glittery tights were quite interesting I have to say. Her outfit was breathtaking. Her voice like many of these artists is incredible but not my vibe I have to admit. Its catchy I know it's someones cup of tea but it ain't mine. Overall, it's not too bad like I love the whole Mediterranean vibe but its just samey to the rest. Rank no.21

PERFORMANCE 16: SERBIA- TEYA DORA- RAMONDA The witchy vibes don't really match the song. I think it's really sweet. It's not super up there but it's a tune and I enjoyed listening to it. Here hair is so lovely as well. It really comes across as a bit of a plea for help but it's a lovely message and I always really enjoy Serbia's input because they're always shockingly good. I would love that dress as well if someone wants to go snag it for me. Rank no.8 

PERFORMANCE 17: FINLAND- WINDOWS95MAN- NO RULES! This is the one I've been waiting to yap about. Bloody hell this one was a ride. I'm gonna start with the fits and staging: it was so random, I am so here for it. The egg was just perfect for the randomness and running about the stage was awesomeeeee. The shorts descending from the heavens and then bursting into flames was a real highlight, so iconic. The guy dressed in all denim was such a vibe as well. I actually feel sorry for him cos the other guy stole the spotlight a bit but that was a true eurovision act. I feel I can always rely on inland to deliver something crazy and they smashed it out the park yet again. Rank no. 6

PERFORMANCE 18: PORTUGAL- IOLANDA-  GRITO The staging gave a beige mom house in the US, the makeup gave Coachella. I really thought it was quite a vibe, maybe a bit dentist office wedding but who cares shes a cracking voice and the dancers went down as 'the beekeepers in my house'. The light was giving Loreen's panini press again but it's not that bad and is a solid mid range one. Rank no.16

PERFORMANCE 19: ARMENIA- LADANIVA- JAKO This one HIT man. It was just a vibe, the like trumpets and the woman's mental ness. The patterns almost sent me into a seizure but it's eurovision, you're gonna have a migrane the next morning. She was so cool in her dress and I just loved it, the band was cool as well and jumping around the stage while singing complicated stuff like that is a talent so kudos to the singer. Rank no.11

PERFORMANCE 20: CYPRUS- SILIA KAPSIS- LIAR Yet another same samey song. It just wasn't giving me enough to get a notable score. This is no criticism to her herself but it just got too repetitive this year. Far too many scantily clad men dancing around young women. Particularly with this one, she's only 17 and she looks so much older and I was just worrying for her and praying that the dutch dude wasn't towards her. Rank no.22

PERFORMANCE 21: SWITZERLAND- NEMO- THE CODE One of my favourites for the evening. They looked like nemo as well it was so adorable. The talent to stay on that pendulum wheel thing is so freaking awesome. They cooked hard. Their vocals are so freaking stunning as well just an incredible, catchy one. The drum beat gave breakcore and it's just an ear-scratcher. It's just such a snazzy song. Rank no. 4

PERFORMANCE 22: SLOVENIA- RAIVEN- VERONIKA What in the water-coated body suit? The fit was questionable and so was the dance moves. Yet another situation where the contestant made out with the dancer. The light up tits and crotch were weird as well. Like highlighting the bits you shouldn't want to show off. Oh welllllll. IT was an interesting song, not particularly special but pretty typical eurovision. The eye makeup was on point also. Rank no.15

PERFORMANCE 23: CROATIA- BABY LASAGNE- RIM TIM TAGI DIM The pirate vibe meets My Chemical Romance were real. One of my favourites of the night. The cat pictures sold it to me heavily. I loved the fit it was such a vibe. I had it goin through my head all night. The meowing absolutely killed me. Such a banger a true sea shanty turned rock is the recipie to please my ears. Rank no.2

PERFORMANCE 24: GEORGIA- NUTSA BUZALADZE- FIREFIGHTER Yet another woman singing warbly surrounded by muscular men in interesting clothing. Her dance moves were extremely strange and probably not appropriate for the kids watching, particularly in that short of a dress. The song wasn't the worst though ( take that back probably one of my least favourites). The dance was just a bit odd. Rank no.20

PERFORMANCE 25: FRANCE- SLIMANE- MON AMOUR It was so boring. Like I was falling asleep. It needed spice. It was giving shit drake that sings falsetto that's too high for him. It was too repetitive, too boring. It didn't appeal to me one bit. Probably my least favourite. Rank no.25

PERFORMANCE 26: AUSTRIA- KALEEN- WE WILL RAVE Now, I'm not usually a fa of this vibe of music but kaleen executed it so freaking perfectly, its a n earworm that I hate but its so funny. Very Europop vibe to it, giving me jamboree vibes yet again. She reminds me of Taylor Swift and her little daughter was so sweet. This has gone down pretty well I think. Rank no.12

Now, I've finished my part and I didn't watch the after bits cos I was too busy falling asleep from slimane. Compared to last year, completely underwhelming but its decent. Some hhits hit, others missed the board completely. Sorry about even worse grammar and spelling than last year but that's all folks, see you in 2025.