#kinda wanted to draw her flippin everyone off but

[themiraculouslivingmachines]

"Squires are more trouble than they're worth, aren't they?"

"She grows on you."

-

Finally bought Nimona, read it twice and watched the movie. Needless to say I'm obsessed with these two.

Should be drawing more comic pages but

[cruciferous-spatula]

Tuatahi household round ten part two

I sent Waiata out on the town to meet boys, and she hit it off with Didan Keta. Also the local burglar is prowling around.. . if either of you wanna like, stop her or whatever, that'd be cool

I will admit I'm having Waiata draw the short (lol get wrecked Didan) straw here. Her chemistry with Indartsu is just fine, while Didan is just a sad single bolter. My only defense is how flippin bored I am of playing Didan as a single king, and Indartsu at least has a kid already

Also they look kinda funny together. Don't be fooled, Didan is much older than Waiata, but he's so tiny-looking next to her giantessness

Did kept rolling this want throughout the date lol. She's married to your brother, Didan! Yes things are maybe a bit rocky at present, but this is just kind of rude, no?

Meanwhile

Mayu and Harikoa are having another baby, and fast.

The date continues and concludes

But the next day is also way eventful. The baby is coming!

But also also, it's Wahi's birthday!

And Para's!

The Tuatahi heiress, everyone! Family sim, bi, and a bit of a wild child. I'm getting strong Popularity vibes from that set of interests too, so that'll be Para's secondary.

And!

Welcome to the family, Nui

to this rapidly expanding family

[punz4lyfe]

Pokemon Journeys’ Bea.... Kinda Sucks

Hello again! After a weekend of contemplating, I’ve decided to write a little blog review of Pokemon Journeys’ version of Bea from SwSh. Originally, I was planning to do after we get a bit more episodes of Bea, but with all the leaked episode titles we’ve been getting, I’ve got a feeling we won’t see this lady until sometime at late-February, or even March, so let’s just get this outta the way now.

Also, please note that since Bea has only made two actual appearances in the anime, many of the points I will talk about will be subject to change depending on how the writers will handle her in the future, but with all that said, let’s get right to it.

Before we begin, let me just say this: in the games, I find Bea okay. And in Twilight Wings, I love her character and I feel she had a great amount of focus and depth. However, in the anime, I find her.... a little lame. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her or anything and I feel she has a ton of great potential. So much so, that she could honestly surpass her Twilight Wings variation, but as of now, I’ve got some problems with her.

Problem #1: Her Goal/Motivation

So my first major problem with her character is her goal. Like almost every other trainer we’ve seen in Journeys, Bea wants to rise her rank in the World Coronation Series so that she can battle Leon and take his place as the world’s strongest trainer. But here’s my question for though: Why? Why do you want to be seen as the world’s strongest trainer?

In many past regions, almost all of Ash’s past rivals had the “what” to their goals: Conquering a regional league. However, many of them also had different “why’s” that added to their own motivation. Paul had a brother to prove himself stronger than, Alain had his whole thing with solving the secrets of Mega Evolution for Lysandre as well as finding a way to cure Chespie’s coma, and Gladion wanted to find his dad. From Bea, I’m literally getting nothing from her. Does she have a master she wants to prove herself to? Well, we later find out she trained under Johto’s Chuck, but that’s all really. Does she have some kind of troubling childhood where she was initially seen as weak by her peers, and now with the chance in hand, she can prove everyone wrong by becoming the world’s strongest trainer? As interesting as that sounds, that doesn’t seem to be the case, either.

Without any proper motivation, I have no reason to care for her goals. Please, writers, in her next appearance, please give us the “why” to her actions and not the “what”. Bea has a really cool design, so this is your chance in giving her a cool backstory to boot.

Problem #2: Her Team Sucks

As I’ve mentioned, Bea wants to conquer her way through the World Coronation Series and take Leon’s place. And how is she gonna do that? With a team of all-fighting types? That’s not good enough!

Fighting types are awesome undoubtedly, but like all types, they have their weaknesses. Imagine if Bea faced off against a trainer who, in turn, had a team of all fairy, flying, psychic, or ghost types. She would be completely screwed and she must’ve been pretty lucky to reach her current World Coronation status with a team like hers. There’s honestly a huge list of trainers I can think of who could completely screw Bea over, like Agatha, Skyla, or Sabrina. Heck, if you really think about it, if she were to face Leon, who we know possesses a Dragapult and Charizard, she honestly wouldn’t get far due to Dragapult’s half ghost typing and Gigantamax Charizard crushing her team like ants because it’s a flippin’ half flying giant. And if she were to take Leon’s place, it probably wouldn’t last long since someone can easily identify her preferred type and screw her over with the typings I’ve previously mentioned.

As a matter in fact, let’s imagine a what-if scenario: Ash using Gengar against her Grapploct, who the anime seems to be emphasizing as one of her strongest Pokemon. Looking up her Grapploct’s moveset in the anime, Detect would only delay the inevitable and Close Combat and Octolock wouldn’t do anything due to Gengar’s ghost typing, leaving Liquidation as the only option Grapploct would have to hurt Gengar. Meanwhile, all of Gengar’s own moves can easily affect Grapploct, especially Psychic. And before you bring up the time Gengar lost to Korrina’s Mienshao, keep in mind this, he was taken down by a Beat Up attack, a dark type move that’s honestly pretty broken if you think about it. Does Grapploct know any dark type moves? Nope. Would any of her other Pokemon know some? Most likely, but my point still stands that, with the right mon, you can easily screw up her own team.

That’s why many Champions and Elite Trainers have well-diversed teams. Because if they just stuck to one type, then someone could easily take advantage of that. Many of Ash’s past rivals also had well-diversed teams to keep the stakes high whenever Ash battled them, just look at Gary, Paul, Trip, Sawyer, and Alain. Speaking of stakes...

Problem #3: The Stakes Are Kinda Small

As I just mentioned, because of how straightforward her team is, the stakes of her and Ash’s rivalry are honestly kind of small in that regard. But that’s not all. I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but in all of her battles against Ash so far, I still don’t feel the reason to take her seriously.

Going back in her debut appearance, before her battle against Ash starts, she states that she previously beaten Korrina and called her ‘weak’. And to that, all I have to say, so? Ash has already beaten her a while back, and then he became a champion, and then he beaten her again. I have no idea what you’re exactly trying to prove with that, Bea. Not to mention, we didn’t even get to see who she used against Korrina and her Mega Lucario. Was it someone in her current roster or perhaps a secret weapon? Why would you hide this from us, writers?

Anywayz, going into the battle itself, Ash lost without defeating a single Pokemon. ...Yeah, I’m still not seeing the reason why I should take her seriously, considering the only mons Ash used were little baby Riolu and newcomer Farfetch’d. If it were a three-on-three with Ash using Dragonite, but he still lost, then I would see Bea as a big threat to his goals, but no. And while the lost did lower Ash’s own rank, be quickly raised it back up off-screen by her next appearance, so I guess that wasn’t much of a big deal overall.

In their next battle, Ash used Pikachu and Riolu again and it ended up in a draw, affecting neither of their ranks. Even with a draw, I don’t see any reason to take Bea seriously. While she managed to take down Pikachu, it should be noted that it took two of her Pokemon to do the job, plus Pikachu’s one of the most inconsistent characters in history, so him losing to Grapploct doesn’t really bring in a lot of stakes. And since Riolu and Grapploct tied, that pretty much spoils the fact that Ash’s aura dog will most likely take the W in one of their next battles, especially since Riolu has now evolved into Lucario.

Most rivals in the past usually consistently beat Ash a few times in a row to really set up the stakes for their rivalry. It would add interesting conflict and dynamic in their final confrontation, but considering the recent tie and that Ash only used his two newest mons in their first battle, I don’t really care about Bea as a rival. Not to mention, it took two mons to take down Pikachu, Dragonite and Gengar’s typings royally screw her over, Lucario’s evolution and Farfetch’d’s future one might set them up to be equal or even stronger than her mons, and Dracovish has the potential to be an absolute tank.

Final Points

Overall, with what we’re given so far, Bea kind of sucks as a rival. We don’t have any motivation or depth, her team sucks, and there aren’t really many stakes. She’s pretty much the generic mean boss lady we will have to defeat by the end of the journey. I honestly get a lot more stakes from FF7′s Turks.

But is she the worst rival that Ash has ever gotten? Not by a long shot, especially since the likes of Nando and Cameron exist omg Cameron why do you exist? And like I said, since she’s only made two appearances, there’s still a lot of room for improvement, so many of my issues with her could change over time. I just wanted to get this off of my chest and hopefully provide some insight to my fellow fans on how Bea could become a better character in the anime.

Though, I kind of feel there could be some better directions with her. Even if we get more development, her team will suck by the end of the day, so why not make her a rival for Korrina? They’re both fighting type specialists who aim to be the strongest, plus you could pull off a super cool rivalry over which is stronger; Mega Evolution or Gigantamaxing, with Lucario and Machamp respectively. I honestly feel Hop would be a better rival for Ash due to similar personalities, goals, and diversity in teams. Assuming Hop exists in the anime verse, of course.

If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading my thoughts over Journeys’ Bea! Please feel free to follow for more anipoke content! (am i cool already)

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 9

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1851

Warnings: Slow Start, Language, Tiny bit of Fluff

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change

So, hi again…I’m gonna be completely honest I’ve practically had no time to sit down and write for the past couple of weeks, college rained down tons of assignments and work kept asking me to do extra shifts. Hopefully you all understand the delay in updates, I’m determined to finish this book for you all, anyways I’ll shut up Enjoy 😊

Whoever decided to wake me up and drag me away from the glorious land of sleep will suffer my early morning wrath, slowly I opened my eyes and the outline of two very stupid and annoying boys filled my vision. “Have you two never heard the saying don’t tickle a sleeping dragon? I quite clearly need my beauty sleep!” why is it every time I threaten to murder these two they just start laughin’? what the hell is wrong with em?!, “ Well good mornin’ to you too doll face, as much as I’d like to stay here and trade threats mama wants you outta bed for breakfast so get ya butt moving” My eyes narrowed at Bucky as he started to follow Steve outta the room, the smirk on his face widening as I reluctantly moved out of bed.

I’ve only been here a week and I’ve nearly killed him at least 50 times, wait that’s not something I should be proud of is it? in my defence Barnes can be a right little shit when he wants to be! Two days ago, he thought it’d be funny to drench me with water in the middle of the day, it’s safe to say he didn’t climb down the tree for a fair few hours. The smell of bacon and pancakes made me completely forget whatever the hell I was talking about, I shouldn’t have rushed pulling my pants on cause my dumbass failed to see that the left leg got caught on the draw knob and I was once again hugging the floor with my bloody face. Great that didn’t hurt at all!

Right let’s check for damage, bruises? Nope scratches? Nope pride and dignity? That went a long time ago who am I kidding? “Y/N You comin down or what?!” Jesus Christ that boy has a voice like a flipping fog horn, I wouldn’t be surprised if they heard Steve in queens! “Yeah give me a minute will ya! No need to get your panties in a twist Stevie” I’m pretty sure I can hear Becca and Bucky laughin’ from up here. Okay enough time’s been spent getting dressed, at this rate the boys will have inhaled all the food…the thought alone is enough to terrifying!  

“Right you lads better of left me at least one pancake and 3 strips of bacon or they’ll be hell to pay later” as a rule most people say good morning but I like to start the day with a decent dashing of threats and insults, cause I’m a friendly person…okay nope that’s a big pile of bullc**p and I know it. “Well mornin to you too y/n, the pancakes are on the table and the bacons on Bucks plate feel free to take some” a muffled sound of protest could be heard over my laughter as Bucky shot Steve a look of utter disbelief. “I think I’ll skip on the bacon then Stevie, by the looks of it Bucks already drooled all over it” Steve and I shared a look before we burst out laughing, Buck was glaring at the both of us with syrup dribbling down his chin and I gotta be honest it looked hilarious. “You guys done laughin’ at me yet or would you like to gang up on me some more?” is this boy dumb or somethin’? “Buck, I’d be on my deathbed and my final words would be some form of insult towards you”.

And there I go signing my death sentence again, at this point Steve wasn’t even on his chair anymore, instead he was lying on the floor completely pissin’ himself laughing while Bucky slowly stood up and started walking round the table. “Oh would you look at the time! Gotta go guys my appointment with the grim reaper’s in a minute!” hey y/n maybe it’s time you start running?! With a small shriek I turned and bolted out the backdoor with a pretty pissed off Barnes boy on my tail. The sunlight blinded me for a couple of seconds, so I was kinda running without knowing what was around me…and as per usual life decided to firmly kick my ass using the form of a bloody tree. A sharp stinging sensation spread across my entire face, huh reminds me of when I ran into that door…only that didn’t hurt half as much and there wasn’t an annoying brunette prick absolutely creasing with laughter behind me. I’m pretty sure that in the process of the tree b**tch slappin’ me I cut the left side of my cheek…oh would you look at that there’s the blood that should have stayed inside me, I couldn’t stop the small groan of pain that slipped outta my mouth, the lower half of my back was more than likely battered to all hell and the stinging in my cheek wasn’t helping either.

Apparently, the sound of my suffering seemed to break the idiot outta his little laughin’ session, I raised my eyebrows at him when it finally dawned on him that I hurt myself and that was pretty funny, all the colour drained from Bucky’s face, his eye’s widened when he noticed the lovely new edition to my face and pretty soon he reached a hand out to help me up. Such a gentleman… that’s if you replace the gentle bit with idiotic. The second I was on my feet, he pulled me into a hug and began checking my face and head, I’m hoping to god he can’t see my flamin’ cheeks cause I know for a fact he would never let me live that down. To be completely honest all I could concentrate on was the gentle touch on his hands on my cheek and the look on Bucky’s face, his eyes were completely focused on my cut. How have I never noticed that his eyes have the smallest flecks of green in them? Or how his dimples show when he frowns?… more importantly why do I feel both excited and terrified but somehow warm at the same time?

My little daze was broken when I realised that his lips were movin’ and I had no idea what the hell he just said, but he must of asked me a question cause he was lookin’ at me waitin’ for his answer. Bollocks. “What’d you say Buck?” Jesus Christ could I have been anymore obvious?! Maybe I should make a giant banner and smack him in the face with it, oh for godsake am I blushin’ again?!, the small smirk on his face grew into a sh*t eating grin as he threw his arm around my shoulders and dragged me back to the house. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say that you y/n were completely blow away by the masterpiece that is my face” oh great I’ve managed to inflate his ego even more, “Actually I wasn’t gonna say anythin’ but you’ve got a little somethin’ stuck in your front teeth” and just like that all the cockiness drained outta his body.

The arm around my shoulder disappeared rather quickly, to my amusement the boy next to me did as well, I could feel the little smirk on my face as I carried on walkin’ forward as he stayed behind more than likely doin’ that cute stupid thing with his eyes. Wait what did I just say?! What the heck is wrong with me these days? Its like a flippin’ alien’s taken over me and made me into a normal girl! .It feels all kinds of wrong. A sudden cough disrupts my inner monologue, my eyes roll to the sky as the smirk reappears on my face, I can’t help the laugh that escapes me when my gaze meets Bucky’s. He was stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrowed as I continued to laugh and slowly his face formed a pout as he waited for me to finish completely wetting myself with laughter. “You done yet?” his brow was pulled in as he tried to fight off the smile, “Do I actually have somethin’ in my teeth or were you just being a bully?”.

“Nah, just needed to keep your ego in check before it inflated and carried you away into the wind” Buck looked like I’d just shot him in the chest, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughin’ at him as I turned and started walkin’ back to the house. “Ya know you can be a real piece of work when ya wanna be don’t ya?” thank you captain obvious! “I know I am, you know I do it out of love don’t ya?” I shot him a small smile as I wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him in for a side hug, Bucky shook his head with a small smile, but accepted the hug anyway. After that we stayed in a comfortable silence as we walked back towards the house, his arm never pulled away from me till we got inside, that was until Mrs Barnes walked into the kitchen and saw the cut on my cheek, to simply put it she completely freaked out.

I watched her quickly shoo everyone outta the kitchen, she somehow managed to pull a chair out and sit me down while grabbing a towel and bandages, question after question was fired at me while she gently started cleaning to cut. After a while the conversation died out, Mama B was completely fixated on cleaning the cut and if I’m honest the silence was peaceful, well it was for the 5 seconds it lasted.

Bucky burst through the door lookin’ like someone was trying to murder him, not that I could blame them, 2 seconds later Steve and Becca burst through the door armed with…wait is that eyeshadow and lipstick? I watched as Bucky backed into the corner, his eyes wide as he begged them both of them for mercy, whatever he did to piss the pair off clearly warranted this man hunt and there is no way in hell I wanted to stop it just before it got good. Soon enough Becca and Steve some how managed to pin down Buck, and despite the many protests, the pair managed to smear the lipstick all over his face and dump most of the eyeshadow in his hair.

I tried my hardest not to laugh I swear, but he looked like a very disturbed and demented fairy princess and I couldn’t hold it in anymore, soon enough we were all having a little laugh at the poor bloke, eventually Buck saw the funny side of it and he too joined in with the mess that was the Barnes family.

So, I’m gonna be honest here this is more of a filler chapter/character development hopefully it didn’t suck as much as I think it did XD Okay I’ll stop rambling, Thanks for reading!

Rose Xxx

[monotonous-minutia]

top 10 favorite new-to-you operas of 2020 and top 10 favorite overall opera productions (which can be ones you’ve watched before 2020) of 2020, as well as why! (take all the time and space you need to answer this one)

thanks!! :)

top 10 favorite new-to-me operas (tried to remember the order in which I first watched them, but I could be wrong): La fille du régiment Just a really fun, humorous, adorable opera with a great cast of lovable characters and some really slappy tunes. Les Huguenots This one went onto my list of top favorite operas almost immediately. Another cast of amazing characters (aside from the really despicable villain), especially some lovely leading ladies; adorable trouser role who gets two (preferably) arias; some really gorgeous music; and an absolutely devastating tragic ending that's so powerful and meaningful. Idomeneo The ladies are fighting over the mezzo; Idamante is one of the cutest and purest opera characters EVER; incorporates Greek Mythology which is one of my favorite things; great cast of characters (though Idomeneo himself still drives me crazy); very sapphic; lovely relationship between the main couple (kinda enemies-to-friends-to-lovers); and again some really great music La clemenza di Tito TWO mezzo bois; very VERY gay on all levels; angst with a happy ending (though depending on the production the ending can be more ambiguous than happy); entire cast of Disaster Bis; one of the smartest sopranos in the world (Servilia); lovely portrayals of loyalty and friendship; and, of course, some AMAZING music. Cendrillon Mezzo love. That's pretty much all I need to say. But also it's got a lot of my favorite things: the libretto is super poetic and beautiful; the music is absolutely fantastic at evoking the fairy tale feel, especially in the scene in the forest; wonderful lovable characters; and simply ethereal music and singing for the leading ladies. Chérubin it's the adventures of our dear Cherubino, what more could I want? How can I not love an opera that's all about this wonderful disaster child? It's so lighthearted and fun and sweet and also just really spot-on hilarious. I was laughing my head off the entire time. Plus it's Massenet so the music is gorge, especially the mezzo music :D Benvenuto Cellini Not least because it introduced me to one of my favorite trouser roles, but also because (as we've discussed) it has basically everything you need in a (not-tragic) opera: fantastic cast of lovable, wonderful characters; exciting and somewhat angsty plot; joyous happy ending; really cute and pure lead couple; adorable trouser role; Disaster Bi hilarious semi-villain you just can't help but love; some really fantastic music; and so much fun and hilarity in general. La Rondine I give this one props because it somehow made me bawl my eyes out even though no one dies. And of course it's the whole Puccini "let's pretend this thing is an operetta for an hour and a half :) and make everything all lighthearted and happy :) and have everyone just have a great time singing some wonderful music :) and then break everyone's heart in the last half hour and leave them obliterated." Also that ensemble in Act II just makes me CRY even though it's like the happiest bit of the opera?? it's just so freaking pretty omg. Alcina Props for being one of the frickin gayest operas on the planet. Also contains one of my favorite pieces of music ever in the history of ever. In general has a lot of opportunities for folks being gay as heck. Oronte can fall off the face of the earth, though. Also I am a sucker for Handel in general. Plus mezzos loving mezzos. Can't go wrong with mezzos loving mezzos. (Yeah, I know technically Rugierro can be played by a countertenor, but I don't watch those ones ;p ) The plot is still "WTF???" in my head, but does that really matter when it's basically one nonstop gay mess? Die Fledermaus Really don't understand how this took so long to get into my life (especially because German operetta was my Thing back in the day) but now that it's in my life I love it to pieces. One of the most iconic trouser roles ever, and an entire cast full of lovable buffoons, as well as just one bop after another. Plus a really slapstick plot. Basically laughed through the entire show.

10 favorite overall opera productions of 2020: It was so hard to narrow this one down! I've seen so many amazing opera productions this year. To make it a little easier for me, I tried to focus on productions of operas that weren't new to me this year (though I HAD to put the Pelly Cendrillon on here. I couldn't not) so I could focus more on the production itself. These ones aren’t in any particular order bc I’m lazy:

Sher Hoffmann (Met 2009/2015) Surprise, surprise. I simply adore the production, set, costumes, staging, etc.--all so wonderfully weird and delightfully eccentric, without distracting from the very odd and complicated story. Plus, I love the casts in both performances, esp. Kate Lindsey but you knew that already ;) Sher Barbiere (Met 2017) Three words: DiDonato. Flórez. Mattei. Plus Del Carlo and Relyea and it's Sher so really, where can it possibly go wrong?? It's an absolute delight from beginning to end that just takes all the comedic gold from the story and runs with it, and, as with his Hoffmann, provides a delightfully eccentric set and staging without being distracting. Salzburg 2013 Don Carlo Super gay, amazing cast, beautiful production, contains material not seen many other places, and introduced me to Maria Celeng's Tebaldo, which will undoubtably forever be my favorite. Did I mention how gay it is? Garsington 2017 Nozze A really fun, charming, heartwarming, and beautiful staging of one of my favorite operas. I love the cast and set and costumes and that people in general are pretty nice to Cherubino, and the Count isn't as creepy or mean as in some productions, and has some legit nice moments with Rosina during the opera so his apology at the end actually comes across as kinda genuine. In particular I love the really adorable Figaro and Susanna (individually adorable, as well as being a really adorable couple) and Cherubino. Pelly Cendrillon (Met 2018/ROH 2010) Super gorgeous production that does an amazing job evoking the fairy tale feel. Not thrilled with 100% of the choreography but I love pretty much everything else about it--the sets, the staging, the cast (especially the Met cast, though there is one little detail in the ROH one I like better) and even the lighting are super intricate and effective. Munich 2011 Hoffmann Just a really delightfully weird take on this opera, with a great cast, some fantastic singing, hilarious sets and costumes, and some quirky staging and edit choices that make it really unique and fun. Met 2017 (Sher) Roméo et Juliette I should basically just say everything by Sher is my favorite now huh? I legit want to write this guy some fan mail because his work (especially for Hoffmann) has in a lot of ways just been really meaningful to me. I didn't even like this opera until I saw this production. It's so GORGEOUS and timeless and yet simple and sweet, and the cast is to die for. Met 2017 Norma Flippin gay, that's really all I need to say, oh my lord. Plus the cast is amazing. Honeslty don't remember much about the sets or costumes, I just remember how amazingly gay it is. Met 2009 Orfeo ed Euridice The dancing in particular is what draws me to this one, but also the expansive moving sets and some really heartbreaking choreography and blocking. Side note, I know a lot of people are annoyed with Amor's outfit, but I love how ridiculous her sparkly pink ensemble is compared with the sombre outfits of the leading cast (and chorus representing all those famous dead people historical figures). I mean, she's basically Cupid, right? When has Cupid every been spiffy or dignified? Plus the whole thing is super gay and really underrated in my opinion. Bonus: Stephanie Blythe is now hands-down my favorite Orfeo. La Scala 1995 Hoffmann Set and costumes are okay, effective but not particularly memorable, but holy lord is this one GAY as hell. That's my favorite thing about it, plus much of the cast (Mentzer and Shicoff, obviously, as well as Natalie Dessay being my favorite Olympia and Denyce Graves being one of my top favorite Giuliettas). There are a few kind of weird things about the staging, and the edit is far from being my favorite, but I adore how fully it embraces every aspect of gay that this opera presents. Plus it's one of the few I've seen that actually has a legit nice ending (others being Munich and Sher).

Thanks for the ask, sorry it got kinda long!

[tinypigeonlord]

Was reading about how American school systems are ridiculous and will expell you for the dumbest most unreasonable shit and that’s just how America is. But tbh it’s not just American schools which are like this? Throughout my time on a highschool in the Netherlands, I have experienced plenty of dumb shit and I have a mighty need to rant. SO! To name just a few examples:

• I once injured my right hand during school volleyball, which is my dominant hand. It was badly swollen, bruised and taped in, so I had to write with left. My handwriting was barely readable at the time, and soon enough I was approached by my teacher, who was pissed. He accused me of bullying and mocking him specifically, because he was a left-handed kid in school and had been forced to write with his right hand because at the time writing left handed was ‘wrong’, leading to a lot of bullying for him. I didn’t even know this, and had to show him my messed up hand to prevent getting expelled.

• I dealt with a lot of bullies in school, and teachers did jack shit to stop them because I had no evidence, and ‘if two people have issues, then both did something to cause it’. So basically I was accused of provoking the bullying somehow. To deal with the frustration, one day I made a crude doodle of a chimpanzee, drew an arrow to it and wrote the name of one of my bullies next to it. Said bully went through my bag at some point, stole my notebook from me and showed the teacher that doodle. I was forced to apologize to the bully and shake his hand, otherwise they had no choice but to expel me. The bully did not face any consequences for going through my belongings and stealing my stuff. Nor did he have to apologize for provoking me into drawing that doodle.

• One day my teacher caught me doodling something in a corner of my workbook while she was explaining things I already understood, and so she confiscated the workbook to make me listen. Next it was time to do homework assignments. I asked the teacher how I was supposed to do this, since she took my workbook. She kicked me out of the class for sassing her and I got detention.

• I was also kicked out of class once for being unable to find my books in time. This was at the beginning of a new year and I didn’t have a locker yet. We had 9 different subjects that day so my bag was filled to the brim with big books, and it took me a bit to find the correct book. The teacher assumed I had just forgotten the book and we have this rule here that if you forget your stuff, you get thrown out of the class. I did find the book and showed her that I had it, but by that time I was too late and had already ‘disrupted class’, which was another reason to kick me out and write me up for detention.

• One time when I was on my period, I asked to use the bathroom when class had only just started. The teacher told me to wait until class ended, and I really couldn’t wait that long, so in my frustration I said to him in a hushed voice: “Sir, I will paint this chair red with my blood if you don’t let me go...” I could go after that, but I was also told I shouldn’t come back in class and just stay out then. + Detention.

• This didn’t happen to me, but one of my teachers haaaaated one of my classmates because she argued against his opinions a lot. So he would kick her out of the class for the most unreasonable things. He caught her looking outside the window for a moment, for example, and told her that if she was not interested in his teachings she should just leave the room. When she told him he was being unreasonable and that she had been listening, he did kick her out. Another time, she opened her mouth to yawn, and the teacher immediately yelled at her to not fucking dare to argue against him again. She stood up for herself and said she only had to yawn, so he yelled at her for disrupting class.

This same teacher even kicked out our entire class once. We all got fed up with him shitting on this one classmate for BS reasons, so we opened our mouths against him as well. Everyone, even those who just glared at the teacher without saying anything, got thrown out of class and written up for detention.

• I had to write a formal apology to a teacher once. Basically, I had been sick for a while and forced to stay home, and immediately on the day I returned to school, I had to do a math test without having had the chance to prepare. I explained the situation to the teacher, who literally told me in my face: Tough luck, shouldn’t have skipped school, I’m not making exceptions for you. I replied: “we’re not done with this yet.” and he perceived it as a threat, and told the entire class what I had said to him, hoping that the class would chastise me for saying such a horrible thing. Instead the class clapped and cheered for me, and as a result I not only had to write that apology letter to him, but I also got thrown out of class for being a disruption.

This same teacher once gave me a 5.9 for a presentation. You have to realize our grades range from 1 to 10, with 6 being kinda like a C. It’s the minimum required for a passing grade. Meaning he JUST failed me. The class argued against his decision and asked him why he didn’t just give me a 6, since I didn’t really give a bad presentation, it was just a very simple/basic one. It had no real faults or wrong things in it. He said he gave me a 5.9 ‘just because he felt like it’.

• I almost got expelled once for presumably having gotten into a fight. Holy shit, Pigeon Lord getting into a fight??? Yeah no, the only fighting I did was with a skeeter. I am allergic to mosquito bites and my legs were completely covered in bruises from a particularly aggressive skeeter. My classmates had seen the bruises and reported me to our mentor. They wouldn’t believe such bruises came from a flippin insect and I needed my mom to confirm that yeah my body does NOT like mosquito saliva.

• I got in trouble for being too thin basically. People complained when I wore tight and form-fitted clothes because I looked anorexic and it made them uncomfortable. When I wore loose clothes, people complained that I looked sloppy and like a hobo and that I needed to look presentable in a school setting. I couldn’t win, and was told to not show up at school until I could dress properly.

• Same with my face. I had a teacher complain to me that I always looked tired and sick because of my dark circles and acne. ( I actually was tired and sick 90% of the time tbh) and that I needed to fix that because she hated the looks I gave her.

• Speaking of being sick! My mentor wanted to fail me for the year and make me redo it, because she thought I was fake. Like, she accused me of faking everything to gain sympathy and told me that if it was up to her, I wouldn’t pass the year, even though I scored passing grades for all my classes. She couldn’t get it done, but she made the rest of my classes she taught VERY miserable. :’D

• Meanwhile my sister was her mentor’s black sheep, and her mentor did fail my sis and made her redo the year. Not even because my sister was sick a lot, but because her mentor despised my sister’s ‘attitude’ towards her. She thankfully didn’t get away with it: my sister’s new mentor that next year overruled her old mentor along with her other teachers, and she passed after all, but not after a serious fight that lasted for 3 months.

• I in the meantime was locked out of my final exams. I had been sick during an oral test date, and the school had claimed that I didn’t call in sick for the day. Nor had I shown any initiative to apologize for not being there when I was expected. (I didn’t get a chance. The splitsecond I arrived at school after being sick, I was called into the office and yelled at with no chance to defend myself) Therefore I was not allowed a re-do, and therefore I couldn’t do my final exams, because I didn’t complete all my tests. This actually went against the law; the school can’t deny me a re-do based these things. Mom requested the data from our phone company regardless, and had evidence that I did make a phonecall to the school on the date I was sick and missed the test, and that whoever had taken the phonecalls that day was lying. But the school still would not accept it. We had to hire a lawyer who threatened to take them to court for lying because of a personal vendetta against me, not to mention disregarding the law, before they let me re-do the test and my exams.

• The school actually threatened to call the police on my sister. She presumably had written on social media that she wanted someone to burn the school down, and she’d be eternally grateful for that. The school claimed they had screenshotted the post and wanted my mom and sis to immediately make a formal apology to them. Now here’s the kicker: When my mom asked to see the screenshot, it wasn’t even a screenshot of the website. It looked like someone had literally just opened a Word document and typed my sister’s first name + that sentence of her requesting the school to be burnt down. The school then claimed that the teacher who had spotted her post had lost the screenshot, but they had no reason to not trust a teacher. Mom shut them down by telling them: “My daughter’s social media account is set to private and it’s only visible to peers in her friendlist. She doesn’t even use her real name on this website. Meaning that your teacher has either been pretending to be one of her peers to gain access to her account, or they faked this entire message. Either way, I myself will press charges if you don’t get off her case immediately.” The school then claimed that they didn’t mean to cause any misunderstandings, and they didnt mean to threaten my mom and sis, they weren’t actually gonna call the police. HAH.

There are MANY more things that happened, but these events stuck with me and I’m still bitter 7 years later. So yeah I felt the need to tell the interwebs I guess.

[exhausterated-blog]

Interview: Terrence Nance on AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION OF HER BEAUTY

(note: this interview was conducted for I-D in 2013; they failed to compensate me for it and then took it offline for some reason, so I figured I’d repost here in honor of Nance’s new HBO series RANDOM ACTS OF FLYNESS, made in collaboration with Darius Clarke Monroe, Nuotama Bodomo, Naima Ramos-Chapman, Jamund Washington and Mariama Diallo. enjoy - SM, 08.07.18)

The first astonishing thing about AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION is that it exists. The second, after talking with filmmaker/star Terence Nance, is how meticulously constructed it is. Produced by Jay-Z, dream hampton, Wyatt Cenac and Joy Bryant, OVERSIMPLIFICATION is some kind of somersault, a shapeshifting essay film (think Chris Marker, or EXTREME PRIVATE EROS) on director/ artist Terence Nance’s undying love for a woman named Namik. It sees him – and her – entangled with his feelings across film formats, years and continents, spanning hand-drawn animation, home video, psychoanalysis, therapeutic (or not) reenactments, CGI, stop-motion…. the works. If ever a film seemed improvised, it’s this one; Nance’s design isn’t just deliberate, it’s obsessive. The movie’s threads of narrative (and myriad narrators) drolly undercut themselves, just a blink of an eye before you get a chance to; even when xeroxing his memories into neat stacks, Nance hands the mic to Namik when you least expect it. Whenever Nance seems at risk of confession-cam wankery, he manages instead to tap a deep vein of psychological insight, toggling between gushing joy and a clear-eyed, bitterly adult remorse. As the velvet-throated narrator says early in Nance’s knockout debut, “a sweetness prevails.” How long have you been working on this? From the day I started it to today, it’s been six years. At one point I wanted it to be the ugliest movie ever made, like, a total piece of shit, shot exclusively on phones from 2005 or Beta Max news cameras. My director of photography talked me out of it. Some of those pieces are still in the final product, but we shot on the DVX100 (miniDV), DSLRs, shot a little bit on film, cell phone footage is in there, just, everything. I mean, I originally approached this as an artist, not as a director. I don’t know if you noticed but the first moment and the last moment are the same – the film was supposed to play on a loop, originally. You use a lot of ancient Egyptian imagery in the movie. Is there a hidden pattern to that, or is it just stuff you like, that you wanted to put in the movie? I grew up in a very African-centric household, so when I’m thinking about timeless images of space – not outer space, just space – I default to hieroglyphs, khematic imagery. I also fall back on art deco, which I think is very sourced in that. There’s a repeated motif, with this stop-motion puppet of yourself, stumbling – letting the girl see you stumble. Isn’t it a compliment if you let someone see you stumble? That’s about composure. I think a lot, specifically in my relationship with Namik, it kinda hinged on this strange dance in which I perceived her to be attracted to my ability to keep my composure around her. Between her and other women I fell in Love with, I noticed a trend, you don’t ever wanna be caught flippin’ out (laughs), or more specifically being needy, or coming from a place of emotional vulnerability. Stoicism makes you seem extremely composed – the whole movie is about that. That moment in the film is like, a microcosm of what’s going on. Actual composure vs. presentation. Exactly. The film is a document of having lost composure, you know what I mean? Within the context of the interaction I was having with Namik, I was still kind of hyperaware of that. In order to maintain whatever it was we had, I could not lose my composure. I had to come off as calm, cool and collected. It seems like a double whammy for you – this is a highly personal, flammable movie, and it’s also your big debut to the world… I think it is, but the movie seems much more personal than it really is. The amount of information actually disclosed about me is extremely limited. The film is personal but I viewed its execution the same as I would’ve viewed any other film about any other subject… I think, I always wondered subconsciously if the effort I was putting in warranted the scope of the final product. That was always difficult but what pushed me through is that I connected the film’s completion to my credibility as a human being. I told everyone I knew that I was working on it so if I never finished people would have thought of me as a flake. It was very strange, definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I can’t imagine raising kids is tougher than making one’s first feature film. Nowadays it’s kind of commonly accepted that distribution, itself, is the final piece of the production process. It’s strange – I’m really against that assumption. On some level it’s obviously a sound assumption given the state of the industry, but including distribution in production hurts how prolific a filmmaker can be. Distribution diverts a whole shitload of energy from making art into getting the art in front of people. Presumably, there should be someone committed to doing that, for whom that is their expertise, but the nature of the economy is such that even if you have distribution, people on your production team, they still need the director to maintain momentum and energy throughout distribution, especially on small art films. That constant day to day involvement in distribution hurts the long-term proclivity of art filmmakers. So you’re pushing back against one set of precedents or another, even when the film is done. Well, at Q&As, people consistently respond in one way or another to the fact that the film tells the story of a not-so-explored masculine character – a young emotionally vulnerable Black male. There’s this socially aware / activist energy present in reading the film for any “activist” intent in exploring that under-explored archetype. I’m aware that you do not see that character often, but I made the film so Namik would fall in love with me, it was an impulsive decision to make the film at all. It had nothing to do with me raging agains the machine and showing Black males cry by any means necessary! So a very small sub-section of the critical response hasn’t been accurate to my headspace when making the film. It was for her, about her, about us. At the same time, at the end of the day, something like this has not come along in a while, and that’s a valuable discussion. Why aren’t there enough films about Black men who are emotionally vulnerable? Why isn’t that a popular image in films? etc. I’m glad that discussion is being had around my film. You mentioned you finished a script called THE LOBBYIST, which you’re now casting, and you mentioned wanting to start shooting while OVERSIMPLIFICATION was being released – kinda as a joke, to avoid the release. There’s a lot of energy you gotta put into releasing a feature film theatrically, and it makes you realize that what you really wanna do with your time is MAKE films. The energy and feedback I get from screening the film is great, but it’s very clear to me that I’m most at ease and in my element when I am at home making stuff, writing, drawing and singing, and no matter how much the world tries to revise what a filmmaker is to encapsulate the process of presenting and distributing the film, this process has really made me learn that, y’know, my purpose is to make things. So I’m really trying to get back into that energy aggressively and conscientiously. Most days, I can’t, I’m still in the middle of this release, and luckily this film’s success heavily influences and enables the next project. So… I can’t, like, slack off.

(photo by Barbara Anastacio)

[notagoodplace4gods]

ok but stozier where (this is overuse prob so sorry) rich starts really believing stan doesnt like him in their late teens bc of anxiety and stuff and starts to distance and heyoo flippin the script w/ stan coming in through the window like “wtf man??? ur literally my best friend ily” and then like back to stans and its just pure fluff bc heyo these boys mad in love and richies just like “holy shit ily wowowowoow” yike sorry ~✨

I’m so sorry for taking so long!! This is not exactly what you asked for, but I still hope you’ll like it! Here we go!

It’s on AO3

when stan starts avoiding richie after they went to prom together as bros, richie knows he’s fucked up

he doesn`t know how he fucked up, tho, because he was drunk as hell and he barely remembers what happened

when stan starts avoiding richie after they go to prom together as bros, richie knows he’s fucked up

he doesn’t know how he fucked up, tho, because he was drunk as hell and he barely remembers what happened

the losers can’t tell him what he did because “stan didn’t let you do anything embarrassing, he took you home the moment he realized you were drunk”

richie makes eddie pinky swear that he didn’t see him make a fool of himself at prom

Relieved by his answer, richie starts thinking that maybe stan’s just messing with him Maybe it’s just a joke and he decides to play along

“well let’s see how long he can pretend not to love me lol he won’t last a week”

stan lasts more than a week not talking to richie, barely acknowledging him in the group hangs

richie is low key worried and grows louder so he can draw stan’s attention by any means necessary, which means cruder jokes, over the top impressions, dirty flirting, but stan keeps ignoring him

richie goes from frustrated to angry really fast

and he complains about Stan to everyone, literally everyone but Stan The Man himself

“we don’t know anything richie, why don’t you talk to him?”

richie tries cornering stan after school one day, but stan keeps dodging his questions and answering with “I’m fine”s, which only pisses richie even more because he knows stan isn’t fine

“come on stanley I know you’re angry at me! what did i do?”

“why do you think the world revolves around you, richie? you didn’t do anything and we’re fine.”

“we’re not fine! God, stan, just tell me what I did so I can fix it! Was it because I drank too much and you had to take me home? Was it because I made you leave the prom earlier?”

“what? no richie, that was fine and… Wait, don’t you remember what happened later?” stan takes a deep breath and tries to mask the hurt on his voice. “You don’t.”

“I was drunk… I…”

“Sure, it’s okay, we’re okay, nothing happened, I just have to go.”

richie tries to stop him by grabbing his arm, but stan flinches away so fast richie’s freezes on the spot. Now he’s high key worried

now he knows he’s fucked up.

——————

richie kinda starts avoiding stan back after this, afraid he’ll make  things worse between them

he never asks the losers to intervene, but everytime he meets them, he asks if stan said anything about him

the losers have no idea what’s happening, and they hate it, so they make a plan to get both richie and stan drunk and talking

it’s very difficult getting them together, and moving past the awkwardness, but they do get them drunk, they all get drunk, one night at bill’s. and they’re playing truth or dare

when the bottle stops on stan, richie perks up at the possibility of stan picking truth so he can ask what did he do to make his best friend so mad at him

stan picks dare

for a moment richie’s devastated, but then ben whispers something in his ear and he takes his suggestion.

“I dare you to tell me why you’re mad at me.”

“that’s cheating.”

“It’s the game, you have to tell me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“you are! just fucking tell me what i did!

“what didn’t you do, richie?” stan rolls his eyes. “you’re always so…” The alcohol is taking the words from him, so he just gestures at richie’s entire body, to make him understand. “You! It drives me crazy!”

richie’s taken aback. He knows he’s loud and annoying, but he never thought he bothered stan so much “I’m… I’m sorry,”

when they stop talking, the entire room does too. The only sound is when mike gets up, pulling bill along with him and gesturing the others to follow him. “Maybe we should leave you two alone.”

“no!” both stan and richie argue at the same time.

richie takes a deep breath. “come on, stan the man, I just wanna put this behind us and go back to being friends.”

“Friends.” Stan scoffs, and there’s so much venom in his voice, richie unconsciously recoils. “we’re best fucking friends”

richie doesn’t know what to answer, oh even what to feel, so he choses anger. “Fine! Have it your way then” and marches out of the party.

when richie’s anger drains away, he’s just really sad and hurt

the losers go to him the next day, begging him to talk to stan, saying that stan was miserable after he left the party, so “he doesn’t hate you.”

but richie just shrugs them off. stan does hate him. it was clear as day

but what could he have done that would upset stan so much? What was so terrible that ruined their friendship?

he tries his best to remember what happened after stan took him from the prom. He thinks about numerous possibilities, but nothing seems plausible

richie knows very well that he’s a cuddly, needy drunk. But Stan knows him, he’s used to the flirty jokes, the innocent (but not really) touches, and hugs

He remembers he always used to  call stan “love” and “honey” after a few shots, he remembers sitting on stan’s lap and throwing his arms around stan’s neck in other occasions, he remembers stan just shaking his head, lifting him up and making him drink some water before bed. Stan always acted annoyed but he never minded any of that

Not until prom night

Maybe richie crossed a line. Maybe he didn’t stop at the playful flirting and dirty innuendos. Maybe he drank so much, he turned his brain off, and let his heart unfiltered. Maybe he confessed. Maybe he told stan he’d been in love with him for years. Maybe he kissed stan

Oh fuck. oh no no no no nonononono

no wonder stan hates him now. no wonder he’s angry and disgusted and never wants to see richie again

richie wants to crawl up inside a hole and just die

—————-

richie knows stan has stopped hanging out with the others, so he does too

he secretly hopes that his absence will compel stan to return to the group

if anyone gets to keep the losers, if anyone deserves to keep the losers, it’s stan

plus, if stan finds his presence so unbearable, and hates him now, it’s just a matter of time before everyone else does too. If he can’t stop it from happening, then he better prepare himself for it

so he goes from school to home, and from home to school as quickly as he can, he avoids the quarry and the arcade so he won’t meet any of them

He misses them all, though. So much

But mostly he misses Stan

His best friend

the first friend he ever made

the boy with the sarcastic smiles and amazing sense of humour

the boy who always stood by him no matter what

the boy who’d always leave an open window for him to climb into at night

the boy who’d complain about how his bed was too small for them, but would never push richie away, or make him sleep on the couch

the shy quiet beautiful perfect boy richie admired and respected so much

the boy who’d smile at him, and make the stupid bucky beaver and his stupid trash mouth feel worthy and loved and worthy of being loved.

the boy he loved so much

the boy who didn’t love him back, not anymore

not ever

richie wonders if maybe stan misses him too, but the thought is so fucking unreal, he has to laugh.

all the handholding, the laughs, hugs, kisses on the cheek, richie ruined them

richie ruined their friendship

so why would it matter to stan

why would richie matter

spoiler alert: he doesn’t

richie’s loud and annoying and ugly as hell

stan deserves someone better

literally anyone would be better

probably a girl because stan can’t be as sick as he is

——————

the losers keep trying to talk to him, but he always manages to dodge their questions

Everyone is worried because richie looks awful ™ so they decide to do a intervention for them

but richie doesn’t show up to school the next day

Or the next

they’re going crazy with worry, because richie won’t answer his door either

stan is very worried too.

he feels terrible for how he treated richie the past few weeks. He was just sad, angry and bitter, but richie didn’t deserve the way he treated him

he tries calling richie on the phone, but every call goes to voicemail

stan knows it’s his fault.  He was the one who started ignoring richie first, but he’s so worried

He’s on edge all the time, can’t sleep properly, can’t eat properly, god, he’s a mess

He almost trips over himself when his own phone rings. Please be richie, he prays

It’s not richie

——————

bev is the one who gets richie to leave the house. she takes him for a smoke by the barrens

she told him it would just be the two of them

she lied

three cigarettes in, Stan arrives, and Bev excuses herself, mentally asking richie if he’ll forgive her someday

Stan quietly sits down next to richie, who refuses to look at him

They stay like this for a good half an hour. Stan looking at richie, richie looking anywhere but at stan

stan is about to cry, but he swallows the tears. This isn’t about him! This is about his best friend, who’s looking small and broken, and he has to fix it. He has to fix them

“I’m sorry.” He opens his mouth, but the words aren’t his. They are richie’s.

Richie’s apologizing to him

“fuck, stan, I think I finally know what I did to make you hate me, and, god, I’m so sorry.”

stan is speechless, terrified at the thought that maybe richie does remember that night

“I was never going to tell you, I was going to ignore it until it went away, but it’s been years, and it still hadn’t gone away, and I… I’m a horrible person… not worthy of being your friend

stan is offended. “Richie…”

“no… let me finish. I know what I did is unforgivable, and heinous and sick. And I’m so very sorry, but I can’t fix this. So it’s okay if you hate me and never want to see me again.I understand”

“richie!” Stan grabs his shoulders and shakes him a little.”What is it you think you did at prom?”

“you don’t have to do this.” richie shakes his head. “I know I… I kissed you. Didn’t I?.”

Now Stan starts crying. “No. no you didn’t.”

richie’s eyes go so wide it would be comical in any other situation

“Fuck. then you’re just mad at me for a stupid joke, or whatever and I went and spilled my feelings for you, instead of just apologizing. Now you hate me for real, and…”

“I don’t hate you, I never did and I never will.” Stan cuts him off.

richie nods dumbly, not letting himself feel relief because the fact stan doesn’t hate him does not necessarily means that stan likes him back.

“Do you wanna know what you did that made me so mad?” Stan waits for richie’s nod before continuing. If richie said what stan thinks he said, telling him about this should be easy. “You fell asleep.” It’s not

silence

richie does his best not to break it because he knows stan’s not finished

“I took you home, and tried to get you to bed. You didn’t want to. You wanted to dance.” Stan smiles at the memory. “I asked what could i possibly do to convince you to go to sleep and you asked me to cuddle you.”

richie cringes. well that was embarrassing

but it’s not the end of the story

“so I did. we laid down at your bed, and we were so close, I…” Now it’s stan’s turn to take a deep breath. “I kissed you, Richie. I kissed you, you kissed me back, but then you fell asleep mid kiss and I…”

richie’s heart stops, and he finally looks directly into stan’s eyes

“I was so ashamed, I couldn’t face you after this.” now it’s stan who diverts his eyes. “And then you told me you didn’t remember and I was so hurt, so angry. I mean, I knew you were drunk, I took a chance, but I still… God, richie, you were my first kiss.”

“stan.” richie kneels, and moves next to his friend, his best friend, the boy who, for whatever reason, loves him back, and takes his face on his hands. “stan, I’m sorry I’m so stupid.”

“It’s okay, richie.” Stan tries. “You were drunk, and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that, then felt sorry for myself and acted like a jerk, but…” Stan’s hands are shaking. “I like you more than I thought I could ever like someone, and it scared me so much, I withdrew from everyone. I avoided you like crazy because I couldn’t let you know, I couldn’t let you reject me.”

“stan.” richie calls for him again, and their eyes meet. “stan, I’m stupid, but you’re also very stupid, oh my god, we’re so stupid.” he groans. “I like you. You like me back. We like each other.” He says it, slowly, as if trying to understand.

“We do.” Stan breathes, amazed.

They only stare at each other for a moment, holding hands like their lives depend on it.

“I’m sorry.” Stan says.

“I’m sorry too.” Richie says it back.

A pause. Then. “Do I get to redo that first kiss?”

Stan pushes him over, and richie laughs

“we never really danced at prom, did we? I bet you refused to dance with me after prom too.”

“I…” Stan narrows his eyes. “Do you really wanna dance, now?”

“Sure.” richie knows stan didn’t mean it as an invitation, but he takes it anyway. He bows. Stan rolls his eyes, but doesn’t stop richie from inching closer, and closer. “Let’s redo the entire night.”

They dance for a while, no music, no rhythm. They dance until richie steps on stan’s toes, and stan pushes him away so hard richie falls on the grass

They laugh, and laugh, and laugh

(god, they both missed this so much)

“Okay, so I’m never doing that again.” stan says, but he’s smiling. “We’re done, richie.”

“not yet.” richie says, getting back up, and he looks serious

he takes a step closer

stan takes another step to meet him in the middle and his hand goes into richie’s hair

richie’s hands are trembling, but he takes them to stan’s neck

they kiss

they look at each other

they kiss again and again and again

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me again, asshole.” Stan says, lips brushing against richie’s

“Oh, don’t worry, Stan the Man, I’m up.” He motions down to his pants. “I’ll be up all night…”

“fucking my mom, i know.” stan answers, the same time richie finishes with “fucking you.” and they look at each other, for a second.

“Fuck you, richie.” Stan is trying to look mad, but he can’t stop laughing

“Well… if you want to, sure. I can be into it.” richie doesn’t miss his mark, but before he says anything else, stan’s kissing him again

richie kisses him back

and they kiss, and kiss, and kiss for a long time.

[cielospeaks]

you have no idea how fking catharthic it is to draw the leggycrew in loid parody comics

like tbh theres way too much sadly in common between them both

-the people apart from the characters’ creator want them to fit an expectation based on visual and refuse to accept any depth or anything that goes against their visual expectation for them

-people who arent the creator of the characters or the writer of the story wanting to dictate what the characters are like, even (especially) when it goes directly against the canon and what the character’s creator has directly stated

-except the difference is one is self contained and has no influence from a very whiny side of the fandom that isnt even the audience, and the other is just a part of a larger thing and has to sit back and watch as said characters are absolutely torn apart and traumatized by other characters they have no control over

anyways i feel like theres way too many similarities unfortunately ahaha

like obvs virelai and schuu, but even anda and liszt have the similarity of people being kinda creepily interested in their physical appearance and not their actual personality (cept everything anda does ‘must be out of spite’ and ricchan can do no wrong bc shes got a nice set of abs)

and seiki and wa being grossly misinterpreted by the fandom based on what they want to see rather than what is, and dovo and ana being irrationally hated for something pretty much valid and warranted they did

leggy and moz are both reduced to the “uvu cinnamon roll can do no wrong” or at least the latter was (not so much anymore sighs this fandom istg)

idk coda and cho are a lil different bc people are pretty apathetic about coda besides being the “joke character” (imean to be fair i havent told the whole story about how it was programmed by a professional gamer whos sister was chronically ill and who made it an idol/vocaloid in order to help cheer her up but even without that directly ive hinted if these asshats ever paid attention to anyone but their character or what they wanted to see lmao) and id rather not he have the aggressive fanbase that cho has that refuses to see him as anything other than “uvu sad boy all alone i will be his only friend”

but all my salt aside i love this so much. i mean if it takes me drawing stupid 4komas to give my characters the happiness they deserve ill do it

reference for other comics

intro to season 2- “you thought we were the micchan and rapperbert based characters but it was actually the new loids!” seiki and ana pose but everyones just kinda like “.... you were made before those announcements even....” but these two are like the most extra and are completely unfazed

ep 5- virelai returns (as za greato?) with andrielle, the support squad. “im the reggae fairy and if youre mean to my best friend ill stab you!” “wasnt that the other-” “im the other reggae fairy and if you’re mean to my steed ill stab you too!” stabby is here too

ep 6- idk. canonically sev has a complicated relationship w his mom so i have no flippin idea whos gonna be himeka. maybe cesura. shes everyones mom basically

ep 7- everyones like “dude. dont force ships” and allegro says the same thing. “but youre supposed to be motes- give us a more motes-ey response.” “okay~ well as i was saying its not cool to force someone into a relationship-” “GOSH DANGIT CANON NONSHIPPING!”

ep 8- allegro getting excited about turning into a hippo. “ive definitely lied before! transformation sequence gooooo!” but nothing happens. also allegro babysitting provincelette bc shes the only one close enough in age to mari

ep 9- honestly i have no idea. probably coda being like “of course im merely an imitation and a rip off. i was modeled as one-” cue zhuan and virelai and practically everyone else bursting through the room and hugging codas screen like “ur not! dont say that! ur valid!”

ep 10- anda challenges some pretty boy to a fight. “shes just doing it out of spite!” anda takes a deep breath. “sorry risuto, ill have to put our fight on hold for a sec-” punches the fking joya bell out the window. risuto like “dont worry i totally support u”. moral of the story dont be a dick to liszt!anda. or any anda

ep 11- salcla. idk on this one either i still havent seen it subbed

ep 13- new years special! feng and sev in nice outfits! feng: too bad yall think japanese stuff isnt important or interesting bc now u dont get to see paddonson and andrea in sexy outfits(tm), also in the background anda and virelai punching the heck out of a joya bell. “this is for the worldly sin of being friends with someone only to tell them theyre wrong about what they think and like and exist!” “this is for the worldly sin of trying to get someone to date you by nearly killing yourself and their little brother!” everyone else like “.....why did this happen” idk dudes i feel that too

ep 14- andrea and ana on a shinkansen. “oh- i just finished my book and we’ve still got 4 more hours.” “were all out of avocados....” andressa and scherzo pop up from the seats behind them in little detective outfits. “a case!” and just give them the stuff. thanks?

ep 15- seiki getting unsure about doing sumo. but audrey and cowboy saotome for some reason are walking past “theres gonna be a sumo match here! isnt sumo awesome? weve gotta go!” “....yeah.... its pretty cool...” seiki: ill do it! so i can be pretty cool! notice me audrey senpai! and virelai just like “......this kid”

ep 17- i also have no idea

ep 18- plot? idk?

[pen-of-dunwall]

Tales of the Heart, Ch. 15 - Now I Got My A’s and Z’s

by essie-essex

for citywatchoverseer

City Watch Guard

“He taught himself how to read.”

There oh... uh... once was a cat named Ollie who lived in a co-cozy ho-hose... hoss... a house, a cozy house, with his Mama, Papa, Bro-Bruh-Brother, and... Sister. But Ollie was no oh-or-di-na-ry cat. He was very c-curious and... oh-often got into tr... tr... trou-ble.

Un... One cold w-win-ter eh... ehven... even... e-ven-ing, it beg-an to s-snow...

...and s-snow, and snow, and SNOW. Haha.

“Oh, boy!” said Ollie. “My f-first w-win-ter!”

Ollie le-leapt on-to the... the, uh... the w-win-dow-sill, his eye-eyes fo-fol-low-ing the stra-strange white dots as they flo-a... flo-floated to the ground. He put his paws up to the cold gla-glass, rai... rais... rais-ing himself up on his two hi-hind legs to get a bet-better look. Brother and Sister played ou-out-side, thro-throwing hand... fuls of white po-po-pow-powder at each other, their ch... cheeek... cheeks and noses red and ro-round. Ollie's tail swis... swis-sh... swished with, oh boy, ex... exit... exit-me-excitement as he watched them.

“How I would love to play in the snow,” Ollie said, his eyes filled with de-des-desire. “I would buh... buh... bur... burr-ow under it oo... uh-until I found the per-fect spot, warm and dark.”

The cat til-tilt-tilted his head back, pee-king at the door. Papa sat in his big chair reading a book, and Ollie could hear Mama in the kit-kitchen.

Surely, they would not not-notice...

Ollie ju-jumped to the gro-ground and cro... croch... croached... no, crouched, he crouched low, ti-tip-tip-toe-ing his way to the front door where the ch-child-ren would be re... ret-returning at any mo-ment, and when they open-opened the door, he would spr... sprin... sprint out into the snow and bur-bury himself in it before they could catch him.

He heard fa-faint la... lau... log... log-ha... lag... la... laugh-laughter as the ch-children ne-nea-neared the door and his ears per... perk... perked as he heard moo... muh... muffleh... muffle... muffled sto-stomp-ing.

“Ready... Ready...” he said to himself. He dar-dared not move. It was almost time.

The door click-clicked as one of the children turned the dork-door-doorknob, the door crack-ing open a mom-moment later. Ollie star-star-ted to change-charge but stopped sud-den-ly as the cold breeze cau... caused his skin to shiv-shiver. The children enter-ed the house, brus-brushing white powder from their coats.

“The door will close soon,” Ollie said. “This is my last chance!”

He took a deep breath, cr-crouched low, and chan-charged outside.

I let my arm drop, still holdin' the open book between my fingers, and sigh.

When I got this book from the library, the lady told me that this was for kids, but Ollie the Cat's First Winter by T.J. Brownstone ain't no easy reader. I can feel myself gettin' tired, and my head kinda hurts.

I probably shouldn't be readin' durin' my shift, but it can get real borin' just standin' here waitin' for somethin' to happen. It's kinda rainy today, so the market ain't too crowded, so that means no fights over the last fresh fish to break up, no youngsters stealin' sweets to chase after, and no pretty ladies to holler at. Nope, nothin' to do but just stare at the sky... or read if you know how.

I hear laughter from in front of me and spot two boys in worn clothes whisperin' to each other. I guess the rain didn't keep everyone away. They stop, the larger one takin' a few steps towards me.

“Hey, aren't you reading Ollie the Cat?” The boy looks up at me with tight lips and somethin' that ain't just innocent curiosity hidden behind his eyes.

“Yeah, what about it?” I say, pullin' my shoulders back. “Shouldn't you kids be at home anyways?”

“It's a free city,” the boy says. “We're just walking home from school.”

“Yeah, well, keep walkin'. I gotta job to do,” I tell him.

“You didn't look like you were doing your job. You looked like you were reading an Ollie the Cat book.” The little brat smirks.

“Well, you kids just don't know any better. Now, scram.”

The boy snorts, his mouth tight and his face red. He looks back at the other, who has the same expression on his face, like he thinks somethin's funny.

“That's a kids' book,” the boy says. “Like for babies. I read all the Ollie the Cat books when I was nine.” He turns to look at his friend behind him, who giggles.

“Yeah,” says the smaller boy. “Me too. Isn't that the one where Ollie goes outside in the winter and freezes--”

“Hey!” I scream. “Don't give it away! I ain't read the whole thing yet!”

The boys jump at the sound of my voice, but pretty soon they ain't scared no more and start laughin'.

“Wow, City Watch Guards really are dumb!” The taller boy says. His little friend giggles along with him, but I'm about done with their shit.

I draw my sword and lunge towards 'em, like I'm about to attack.

“Yeah, keep laughin' when you're in damn pieces on the ground!”

The boys scream, scurryin' away like rats, and I watch until they're out of sight, takin' a deep breath to calm myself.

“It's okay, Murray,” I say. “They're just a bunch of spoiled kids.”

That's right. They're a bunch of spoiled schoolboys. Not everyone had the money to go to school when they was kids.

I grew up during the Morley Insurrection, when spyin' on your neighbor, makin' sure they wasn't helpin' the Morlish (or the “Morleyans” as we was s'posed to call 'em, just to piss 'em off), or that, stars forbid, they was Minnows themselves, was much more important than goin' to school or doin' any kinda work that wasn't helpin' the Empire win against the rebels.

There was plenty of jobs with the war on, and the factory fatcats was glad to get their hands on any children, so they could work 'em hard. An eighteen-hour workday, each and every day, is what I remember from my childhood. But there was bread to eat and bunks to sleep in. Sure, they was dirty, but they was indoors. I sent my pay home to my parents so they could take care of my sisters and brothers who was too young to work.

So, no, I didn't have no time to read like the little brats these days, but that don't make 'em better than me. Hell, I'm better than them, since I learned how to read all on my own. That's right, all by myself. No one helped me learn my letters.

Now that I know how to read, though, there's plenty around to practice with. It's crazy how many signs they got posted 'round the city, and there's even more than usual in the marketplace with words like “FRESH FISH” “HOMEMADE SOAP” “GARDEN VEGETABLES” “RARE FRUITS” and “BAKERY”. I tried to read them all when I first started learnin' my letters, but now those signs are so easy to read, I can understand 'em all in just a second or two.

I've learned a lot from readin' posters on the walls and such, too. Like the recruitment ads for the City Watch say guards are s'posed to make a whole four coins a day, and Officers make six coins. I ain't never seen more than three coins in a day, and lately they've been givin' me just two. I told this to the others so maybe we could get together and ask for our real pay, but they just told me to quit bein' so smart.

“You read it on a poster?” Jackson was the first one to speak when I told the boys about our pay.

“Yeah, we're s'posed to be gettin' four whole coins a day,” I 'member foldin' my arms and leanin' against my bunk, thinkin' I was somethin'. Like I was gonna start some kinda movement, leadin' all the guards in the Watch through the streets holdin' up signs. But that attitude didn't last for long.

“I think he's just makin' that up,” another one of the guards said from across the room. “You can't even read anyways.”

“I learned,” I said. “Well, I'm learnin', but the poster really does say that. There's one right next door. Just come with me, and--”

“You tryin' to get us fired, Murray? Quit bein' so smart.” Jackson turned toward the door. “Now, I'm gonna go steal me some food, and then I know a certain lady who's waitin' for these two coins in my pouch. You all comin'?”

The others followed Jackson, leavin' me alone. Just a year ago, I never would'a passed up a night with  a girl, but sometimes a man just wants somethin' more.

I'd thought that by learnin' to read that maybe I'd feel better about myself or the world or somethin' like that, but I don't know. Now instead of others makin' fun of me for bein' dumb, my own fellow guards make fun of me for bein' too smart.

But now that I can read faster, I'm startin' to get why there's people that actually like to read. Some books are really interestin'.

My shift ends, and I head back to the bunks while the others go for a drink.

I wish that boy from earlier today hadn't told me what would happen to Ollie the Cat. So, he freezes to death? I take the book out of my bag, flippin' through it and lookin' at the pictures. On one page, I can see Ollie racin' out the front door into the snow. I turn the page and see a picture of a sad little cat, all curled up in a ball, with icicles hangin' from its fur.

Poor Ollie.

But the book's not over. There's more. I turn the page and gasp. Papa carries Ollie into the house. He's alive!

I turn the page again. Now he's in front of the fireplace, and on the next page, he's smilin' and warm, and on the next—wait.

I slam the book shut.

No, I gotta read it. I can't just look at the pictures.

Cold and wet, Ollie had no energ-energy to run from Papa and, in-stead, curl-ed... curled up in his arms, shiv-shivering v-vio-vio-lent-ly. He cried when Papa tried to put him down, hanging on tight to his clothes with his sharp claws. Fin-finally, Papa man-aged... managed to set Ollie on the floor, where Sister and Brother waited for him with two flu-ffy to-wels. They dried him off as well as they could, and handed him to Mama, who w-wrap-ped... wrapped him in a soft blan... blanket.

“Let's put you some-place nice and warm,” she said, cudd-ling him in her arms. Papa picked up a box and took a woo... wood-en stick from it. Ollie watched the stick, which nor-normally, would have looked very fun to play with, but he was far too cold to play. With a quick g-g-gues... gest... gesture, Papa stuck it against the box, making o-rang... o-range light come from it.

“How strange,” Ollie said, tilt-ing his head to the side. Thog...though Papa had now cau-caught his at-ten-ti-on, he was still much too cold to do anything but watch laz-lazily from Mama's arms.

Papa put the stick into a hole be-hind a grat-grating. Ollie had never not-not-noticed that hole before. It looked like a great place to hide. But Ollie was too cold to think of hid-ing there now.

Wips-wisps of smoke and then orange waves grew from the bo-ttom of the hole, con-sum-ing the large chunks of wood in its in-ter-i-or. Ollie watched the flames. They were like nothing he had ever seen before. Mama took him closer and set him down, and Papa replac-ed... replaced the grat-ing, ob-scur-ing the dan-king... dancing fig-ur-es... figures. Ollie was dis-a-ppoin-ted. He wanted to watch them dance, but he was too cold to arg-argue. He lay in front of the fireplace, feeling the warm-th flow from it. Oh, how good that warmth would feel ag-ainst his skin. How good it would be to bury himself in warm orange waves.

Ollie stood, get-ting closer to the fireplace, but Mama st-stopped him.

“No, no, Ollie. That is fire. It is hot. You cannot get too close, or you will get burn-ed... burned.”

But Ollie did not un-der-stand. What was hot? Like a hot sum-mer's day? He could almost puh-purr, think-ing of the past summer when he lay out under the sun, while Mama stood near-by fan-fanning herself with her hand.

“W-hew, it's so hot today,” Ollie re-mem-ber-ed... remembered her saying. “It feels like I'm burn-ing up out here.”

So, hot was not bad at all! Mama mig-might not like it, but Ollie lov-loved when it was hot.

Hearin' voices outside, I look up from the text and close the book. The boys are back, drunk and loud as usual. I have a bad feelin' about this story, but I'll have to finish it later.

But I'm so worried about Ollie that I can't even sleep.

That mornin', the boys and I reach the marketplace and then go our separate ways, heading to our posts. Up ahead is Lee, who does the shift before me. He's singin' a song. I can't make it out at first, but as I get closer I hear the familiar tune of the A's and Z's song.

“A, B, C, D, E, N, G/ haych, I, J, K, elementally,” he sings.

I can't help but laugh.

“It's not 'elementally'. It's 'L, M, N, O, P,'” I almost say, but I don't wanna come off as a smart-ass.

It's funny how easy it is for me to sing that song now. When I first tried to learn it, I couldn't understand it. It was just a bunch'a sounds. How could anyone memorize it?

I 'member first hearin' it bein' sung by a bunch'a little kids goin' to school. They walked behind their teacher in a straight line, and she sang right along with them. It was the weirdest song I'd ever heard. It didn't have no words in it – at least not until, “Now I know my A's and Z's/Tell me what you think of me.”

Now, I was at least smart enough to know that A's and Z's meant letters. So that's what all that gibberish was. The kids was learnin' their letters!

Every mornin', I tried to listen to the whole song, but I never caught the whole thing, and I still didn't know what any of it meant. Finally, one day I just went up and asked.

I 'member the teacher saw me comin' and slowed down before she put her arm out to shield the children.

“Hello, Ma'am,” I said, rememberin' to be polite, of course.

“Good day,” the teacher said. She eyed me real cautious, like she was scared I was gonna attack her or somethin'. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, I mean, yeah. I was, uh--” I took a deep breath. “I just wanna know what that song is you're singin'.”

“What song are we singing?” The teacher's eyes got wide, and she looked at me like there was somethin' funny. “It's the A's and Z's song. We're reciting the alphabet.”

“So, that's letters, right?” I asked.

“That's, uh, that's correct, yes.” The teacher nodded. “Um, is there anything else?” she asked, after I didn't say nothin' for a moment.

“Could I learn it, too?”

The teacher opened her mouth and closed it again.

“I – sure. I mean, I could.” She stopped to think for a moment. “We could use an escort on our way to the school. I much prefer walking my students there to letting them go by themselves, but I would feel much safer with an actual guard to protect us.”

I knew I wasn't supposed to just leave my post, but I only had to walk them to school and then I'd be right back. Plus, there was other guards nearby.

“Sure,” I agreed. “And you'll teach me the song?”

“You can learn right along with us,” she said. She took a piece of paper from a bag hanging on her shoulder.

“Oh, I can't read,” I said, lookin' at all the funny symbols on the paper.

“Well, each one of those is a letter. So, here's A, B, C...” she pointed to each as she said it. “Let's get going. Children? A's and Z's, but let's sing it very slowly so... Sorry, I didn't get your name.”

“Murray,” I told her.

“And I'm Helena Delaney,” she said, smilin' kinda quick and then turnin' to the kids. “Okay, let's sing slowly so that Murray can read along with us.”

The moment I heard her say those words, I couldn't help but think how strange it sounded. “...so that Murray can read along with us.” Me. Readin'. How crazy was that? But I guess it was also kind of excitin'.

The school kids' voices interrupt my thoughts, and I wave Lee off and take his place.

“Murray! Hi, Murray! Good morning, Murray!” the kids all say as the line approaches with their teacher, Miss Delaney, at the front.

“Good morning, Murray,” she says, smiling.

“Mornin' Miss Delaney. Mornin' kids,” I say, givin' them all a big wave.

“Shall we carry on?” says Miss Delaney, and they head off, the A's and Z's song startin' automatically as I line up behind them.

“So, Murray, how is the reading going?” Miss Delaney asks.

We've arrived at the school, and all the kids are gettin' ready for the day and sittin' at their desks. I notice the familiar A's and Z's chart at the front of the classroom. I can recognize all the letters real easy now, and to think I used to not know what any of it meant.

“It's goin' pretty fine,” I answer. “I'm readin' a book about this cat. His name's Ollie.”

“Oh, Ollie the Cat. A bit too advanced for my children, but I'm still very familiar with those books. Which one are you reading?”

I lift up my helmet to rub the back of my head.

“It's the one where it's snowin' and Ollie goes outside.”

“Oh, that one.” Miss Delaney frowns and shakes her head. “Those books are always so tragic for an animal lover like me, but that one was especially sad.”

“Don't tell me!” I nearly yell, holding my hands up. “I haven't finished it yet.”

“Okay, okay!” Miss Delaney chuckles, putting her hands out. “Calm down, I won't spoil it for you.”

“Thanks,” I say, relaxing my arms. “Well, I gotta go back to my post. I'll see you tomorrow.” I turn to the kids. “Bye, kids!”

“Bye, Murray!” They all say, and I turn to leave while Miss Delaney starts class.

Time to get back to Ollie.

The flames wigg-led wiggle-wiggled and pop-popped, dancing in a way that made them almost ir-re-sis-ti-ble... irre-sistible to a cat like Ollie. He watched the emb-ers float into the air and disappear as he w-hipp-ed... w-hipped his tail back and for-th, his eyes con-cen-tra-ting in-ten-se-ly on the tan-ta-li-zing fire.  

But how would he get past the grating? He would have to move it, but sure-ly Mama or Papa would stop him before he could get past.

He sc-scanned the room, noticing-noting that the children had gone to bed and Mama and Papa sat do-doz-dozing off on the nearby sofa. So, he stood, war-i-ly stepping forward, his eyes locked on the nearly-sleeping couple. Creep-ing toward the bar-bar-ri-er s-se-pa-ra-ting him and the fire, he put his claws through the grating and yank-yanked it right down. It fell to the floor with a loud cla-clank that nearly made him dart in the other di-rec-tion, but he clamed-calmed himself and jumped on the grating, ready to make the final po-pounce.

“Ollie! No!”

The sound had wo-ken Mama and Papa, and they stoo-d, making their way to him. Ollie pa-nic-ked... panicked. He didn't have much time. The warmth from the fire toa-toast-toasted his skin like a hot summer's day, but he wanted those fla-mes flames for himself. He pounced, ready to trap the w-rig-gling w-riggling fire under his paws, as Mama sc-rea-m-ed... sc-reamed from behind him.

But soon he was the one sc-rea-ming.

“Hot! Hot! Hot!” he scree-ched... screeched. The fire was too hot. He bat-ted at the flames co-ver-ing his body, trying to keep them away, but it was no use as the fire cha-char-red... charred his bea-u-tiful fur, turn-ing it to the color of ash. Ollie screamed and screamed and screamed until his black-en-ed... blackened body went still, his life having fl-fled his us-use-useless co-corpse.

The End.

I can't believe it.

“Hey, Murray, you comin'?”

What in the Void just happened?

It's the end of my shift, and my buddies are all ready to go, but I clutch the book in my hand, my heart banged up and all but broken.

“No, you all go on. I'm gonna take a walk,” I say and push past 'em without sayin' another word.

You know, I figured things wouldn't turn out good for Ollie, but still the endin's left me kinda down. I got just as much into that book as someone would get into a story bein' told 'round the fire--

The fire.

Emotion hits me and leaves me with a bad feelin' in my stomach. Why'd that cat have to be so damn stupid?

I curse Ollie and T. J. Brownstone and the damn librarian that gave me the book and the goddamn library that kept the book on its shelves like it wasn't nothin' but another kid's story, just like the rest.

“Murray, what are you doing here?”

I walk into the classroom, and seein' the look on Miss Delaney's face, I let the tears fall.

“Is something wrong?” Miss Delaney asks. Her eyes get real wide, and she looks from side to side, but I'm too busy blubberin' to notice.

“Ollie died,” I sob, sniffling between words. “He... just jumped into the fireplace... and burned up.”

I look up at Miss Delaney, who, for just a moment, smirks before putting on a sympathetic face.

“It ain't funny,” I cry. “Why are you laughin'? Don't laugh!”

“Oh, Murray,” Miss Delaney approaches, putting her hand on my arm. “You didn't know?”

“Didn't know what?” I swallow, trying to keep my sobs at bay.

“Murray... Ollie dies in every book.”

The tears stop, and I stare at her through blurry eyes.

“W-What?”

“The cat dies in every book.” Miss Delaney replies. “That's the theme of the series. It's supposed to teach you not to be so curious that you get yourself into trouble.”

“I... wait a—What?”

Miss Delaney smiles a bit and then giggles, taking a handkerchief from her pocket.

“You poor thing!” she says, dryin' my eyes. I take the cloth from her, rubbin' it all over my face, wet with wasted tears.

“It's the same cat in every book? But how does he come back to life?” I hold up my finger. “Wait, wait, I know this. Cats got nine lives, right? So, as long as he doesn't die a whole nine times, he's okay.”

“Not quite,” Miss Delaney chuckles. “I think the trick here is that Ollie isn't a real cat. He's just a book character.”

“Well, that ain't realistic.” I sigh. “I could write a better story than that.”

“Maybe,” says Miss Delaney. She raises an eyebrow. “Are you looking to be a writer now?”

I laugh, feelin' my eyes dry up. Look at me, cryin' over a book.

“Oh no, nothin' like that. I just wanna read a better story. Somethin' happier.”

“Well, the library's still open. Maybe I can help you find some books you'd like to read.”

I nod, thinkin' of the possibilities—plus maybe Miss Delaney has a better taste in books than the librarian.

“Yeah, that'd be nice. Just no sad endin's,” I say. “And no cats.”

[ozsaill]

Holiday gifts that cruisers want

As avowed minimalists, this feels slightly awkward putting a post of holiday gifts together. But the reality is that there are useful needs to meet in a life afloat. This peek into what works hopefully aids those anticipating a similar path: a personal look what’s worked for us, and what’s on our wish list, as idea fodder for gifts to the the sailors in your life. It’s organized into four angles:

Best additions to Totem this year

Wish list: functional gifts

Wish list: what the crew really wants!

Especially for kids 

I. Best additions to Totem this year

This is a shortlist of items that had the biggest positive impact on board in the last year. Some are practical, some are just for fun / quality of life, a few are a bit of both.

Paddleboard ��� finally got one on board after The Great Kayak Debacle of 2016. Weighing pros/cons, we picked the durability of a fixed board over a space-saving inflatable. A shorter (10’) Jimmy Styx model (year-end closeout!) is right-sized for our humans and has provided hours of fun and fitness. Siobhan paddles in front of Totem, photo at top.

Underwater dome lens – talk about bang for the buck. Only $50 to get some of my favoritest pictures ever. Just fit the GoPro inside and swim! It’s so flippin’ cool to have split images with above/below water…like this one showing Totem  floating in crystal Bahamian water while a nurse shark dozes on the sand below.

Pic made possible with a dome port lens over GoPro. Me on deck, Jamie in the water; Staniel Cay, Bahamas.

Winches – Jamie likes to fondle our new Andersen stainless steel winches. No, seriously. Aside from the fact they are incredibly sexy mirror-finish stainless, the engineering of these makes them a better mousetrap, starting with guts that require less maintenance. Ribs on the drum don’t need as many wraps for sufficient friction, and they’re kinder to lines than conventional drum texturing. Jamie is all the warm fuzzies from that ribbed drum. I kinda want to get a lascivious picture of him with one.

Mantus scuba– we used to wish for dive gear on Totem, but it never made sense; a mix of upfront cost, equipment x 5 crew, limited space, and just not being die-hard divers. But we do really like getting underwater…a lot! Adding a pair of Mantus tanks has been perfect. Good fun for more marine exploring beyond our freediving skills, plus peace of mind as added safety equipment (invaluable if an anchor fouled below freediving depth / hang time capability).

Kids dive with Mantus scuba. There’s that dome port lens again too!

ACR ResQLink+. This personal locater beacon (PLB) was added to our safety kit for taking off to the Bahamas and beyond. My worst nightmare is losing on-watch crew overboard; I still worry when Jamie’s on watch and I’m “sleeping” off watch – these help me actually relax, knowing he’s basically attached to an EPIRB.

Drone – we picked up a Phantom 3 pro during the post-holiday-sales last year. I know, have been lame about sharing the footage (will provide room & board on Totem for anyone who can train us up!) but – WOW. The images are amazing! I love the bird’s eye view it offers of our life afloat! New Years Resolution: learn editing and share some videos. I’m not kidding about hosting someone who can school us! (Aline are you reading?! )

Culebra, Puerto Rico

Dinghy. When our trusty Avon finally gave up (well, it was 19 years old) in Thailand, the Highfield we replaced it with was… suboptimal. Not big enough, didn’t ride as well. A dinghy is one of the most frequently used bits of gear on board so we felt the gap. The 10.5’ AB (aluminum, double floor, bow locker) we picked up at Tradewind Yachting Services in Nanny Cay in September is AWESOME.

TOTEM shirts! New earlier this year, we adore these super-soft, organic cotton shirts and LOVE seeing people wear them. If you order Totem gear (Ts, caps and a hemp market bag too), send us a picture! 

Show your (neutral, water-based) colors with a yummy soft Totem Tshirt!

II. Wish list: practical

The next set… well, they aren’t exactly sexy holiday gifts. But the way our family looks at the world is in more practical term (I just realized how crazy that probably sounds to a lot of readers- yes, chucking convention to live on a boat with no fixed address is very practical. Really!): these are the practical wish-list expenditures. Right now we’re saving all our pennies to transit the Panama Canal but; some of these we expect (chaps, shade) others are less likely.

Dinghy chaps. Fabric covers fitted to the hypalon tubes extend their life by preventing chafe and reducing UV exposure. These are labor intensive and custom made, haven’t rationalized this expense just yet.

Outboard. Dinghy theme lately? Our outboard has been struggling for over a year, something that dependably gets a full load on a plane would be sweet. This 15hp Yamaha would do us right.

Repaint Totem’s hull. It’s so beat up, the guys working in the shipyard in Grenada were laughing at us—all in good fun—and asking if they could give her a makeover! Hey, there’s a dugout canoe associated with almost every ding, those are good memories…OK yeah it would be nice to have a pretty boat again.

Cockpit shade. We have an AWESOME, pretty new (2016) bimini frame (thank you to the great guys at TurboXS!)…but it still lacks the whole fabric-shade-that-attaches-to-it part. It will be really nice to get the last mile of this addition completed.

Sailrite. We’ve gone back and forth on these durable sewing machines. Cons: machines need to be used to stay workable; they are heavy, and they take up a chunk of storage. But in the Pro column: Jamie could do a lot with one, like dinghy chaps and cockpit shade! He’s a sailmaker, used to be a hands-on in the pit guy and knows his way around a pro machine. Our M.O. to date: Jamie fixes other cruiser’s Sailrites that have stopped working after languishing in a locker by bartering for usage to get a project done.

Making our dodger soft sides in Jacksonville: thanks Patty!

Countertops. The formica installed in Thailand, unfortunately, is not good. It’s a long story. But the formica is nearly worn through, the trim wasn’t done right, and a bunch of other stuff. For the Someday files. Solid surfacing would be so dreamy!

Solid state external drives. The movable parts on hard drives, in computers and external drives, have shorter lifespans with the small constant motions of a boat. SSDs would be less prone to failure. The multiple of expense is unfortunate (and almost rationalized by failed drives!). The only downside: external SSDs are mostly small, so you’d need a bunch to accomodate all the photo and video files a family accumulates. Sample: this Samsung 2TB drive, ~$800.

III. Wish list: just for fun

What’s your heart’s desire? I asked everyone on board to contribute their “wish” gift idea for something they have zero need for, but a dose of desire. This turned out to be difficult: we are pretty good at being satisfied with what we have instead of craving what the boat next door has! But there are some great ways to be indulgent on board. The top five are our personal picks, the rest are from family brainstorming.

Niall: PADI dive certification. (shhh: I think we figured out how to do this affordably enough in Bonaire next month! He doesn’t read the blog – don’t spill the beans anyone!!)

Mairen: horseback riding. (still with the experiences. C’mon Mairen it’s about Stuff! She never got beyond “more art supplies then?”)

Siobhan: a puppy. KIDDING. Except she wasn’t. Her BATNA wish is to have any book she wants for a year. Qualified with “you know I use the library mostly.” People, she reads a LOT. Thank goodness for ebook loans from our hometown library!

Jamie: Code zero with a continuous line furler on a sprit. Because the sailmaker’s boat is a little bit like the cobblerss kids… often wanting. Here’s why Jamie thinks this is a winner sail for cruisers.

Behan: fancypants freediving fins, and lessons to go with them. (As long as we’re daydreaming, I’d learn from supermama and freediving champion Ashley Chapman at Evolve Freediving, with a whole- family lesson!)

More Totem crew wish-list picks that may generate ideas for giftees on your list:

Water-friendly drone. We’re having so much fun with the ‘regular’ drone, imagine one that lands on the water, or follows behind the dinghy – saltwater spray be damned?! This very cool looking Splash Drone 3 lands on the water and floats. Whoa. Or the QuadH2O: double whoa.

Mini home theater projector. We watched movies outside on the Delos deck once upon a time; I harbor dreams of hosting anchorage movie nights with a film displayed on a sail “screen.” One that’s bright enough, not to big, and doesn’t draw too much power, decent speakers…or 3 out of 4. Like this maybe (and wow, that’s a good price!)?

New computer. OK, not family but Jamie. The Toughbook that is our navigation computer doubles as his personal machine, but doesn’t play well with Windows 10. Newer models do. Still a big fan of Toughbooks for their durability on board.

Camera equipment. Better underwater shots with an Olympus Tough: the GoPro is awesome for environmental shots, but fails on macro, and those are fun to take underwater. Above sea level, I traded in all my Nikon gear to migrate towards Sony’s mirrorless a7 series, and will always be drooling over lenses.

A dozen Luci lights. We have one and it’s fantastic: indulgent wish list version,- how cool would a strand of them be hung tiki-light style around the cockpit?! 

IV. Just for kids

The genesis of this year’s list is a question fom one of our coaching clients. Less than a year from taking off cruising and looking for Christmas gift ideas for their four children, they had this assignment for our kids: “What is 1-2 things do they wished they had or have had on the boat, and what are their favorite 3 things/toys they cannot live without?” Simplifying slightly I asked our kids what things on the boat were most important to them. Turns out phrasing matters. Answer #1: friends. Their friend showed up a few minutes later; asked the same questions she looked at me as if to say “duh” and said – “My family, of course.” It took a lot of prompting to come up with Things You Put Under a Christmas tree. But we got there, and this is good!

Quality snorkeling gear: mask, snorkel, fins…also good rashguard and wetsuits. Shorties are great for extending in-water time! Many cruisers (and most boat kids) spend a lot of time in the water; get good stuff that won’t fall apart, it’s harder after you leave. The kids really like the masks they got from Divers Direct in Florida this year, and they’re very reasonably priced (holiday sale: $40?!).

Beach fun: boogie boards and beach bocce are our favorites.

Fishing kit. Get kids their own tackle box, handline, a net to grab stuff that goes overboard; even a Hawaiian sling spear if they can handle it.

Field guides. Not kid books, but GOOD field guides. Identification of underwater life was a big hit from the time we started cruising with littles. Region-specific matters, I believe: the Gottshall two-book set is amazing for Pacific Mexico; DeLoach guides rule for the Caribbean: one for Reef Fish, one for Coral, one for, well, everything else (Reef Creatures).

Scooters.  Bikes are impractical; kids like wheels and folding scooters fit. Utility varies by cruising grounds (not a lot of roads in some oceanic regions!), but these are great get-around fun.

Arts & crafts. I’m not very crafty, so packaged kits like Klutz are perfect for me. Getting good materials will serve you later: these watercolors are richly pigmented and last a long time. Oragami, beading, or whatever! There are lists for this in Voyaging with Kids.

Chocolate. Yes this was on their list. Clearly these are my children.

Board games, cards. Our current favorite is Dread Pirate (thank you Sallianne and Doug!). Try cooperative games! Family Pastimes games got us started… Pandemic is the classic. This post about games cruisers play lists a number of other favorites on board.

Legos. Our lego days are over, but the kids know these are huge for the younger set.

Totem and Utopia, rafted up for Thanksgiving last week: because 1) better with friends and 2) drones rock!

Want more ideas?

Here are the Christmas gift posts from the last few years. They’re all aimed at cruisers, but each with a slightly different take:

Gifts that give a little more (2016). Focusing on sourcing gifts that contribute in some way to a greater good than just the Thing.

Gifts under $50 for sailors (2015). Keeping the costs contained! OK, there was one item over $50.

Gifts for cruisers (2014). Tried & true: fun, functional gifts that cruisers can use.

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