#kinda want to share my “traumatic life story” since I know i am not the only one going through such

[kyeomyun]

i will post the joong fic, start writing the shua one (for my babygworl who's birthday is coming up @dreamyyeosang) and also write the chan one probably when i am free from school since exams are approaching fast :,)

as for the cheol one... that one will take like... A WHILE. I am really considering turning that into just a series but i cannot proceed a series for the life of me. so for your sake and mines, it is considered a LONG ASS one-shot for now until i get time to actually plot-build it more :)))

[tales-of-wocdes]

I am OBBSESSED with your story, it's absolutely interesting! To be able to play as a troubled—and more than traumatized child is kinda fun and interesting to play with, added with the mystery of the MC's past and what it correlates to the last interlude. Not to mention, I picked my MC to have fox ears, with Harvard commenting I could be from a beastkin heritage or a kitsune... Is that foreshadowing I see?👀

Or maybe not, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, either way. I'm completely hooked! But that just leaves me a dreading question, but may be necessary. If someday in the future, you'd release the full game, will it be payable? Do you have to pay to play the full game?

The game is interesting story-wise, one I keep coming back to in days and hours on end. Checking it out for new updates or trying out other options in the game, the mechanics are also easy to get used to, although I would have some trouble getting out of, for example profiles that are long since I play on mobile, and the writing is honestly amazing! It's pretty neat, and humorous at times.

But, still. I hope you succeed in this game and make it out of the demo, and I wish you goodluck! This game is really interesting, and i'd be a shame to end it so quickly. I also love how you at times interact with us users, and answering our questions, and also giving us some sneak peaks! Or more information. Keeps us hook, and eager to wait for more of your stories🥰

Anyway, did I ramble on too much?😅

Thank you very much! I keep repeating it a lot, here in these answers and in the comments to the demon, but it is important to say. Hearing that people like my writing and story is quite motivating.

The beastkin/kitsune thing.... maybe.... ok yes, that is a thing I have planned. I don't have all the details locked but I imagine that MC finding out that they have kitsune heritage happens when it is needed to happen (obviously a choice).

Now time to get a little real about my process and plans. If you would rather not see behind the scenes, I will cut this off here. Because I learned how to do it :D Also long ramblings ahead.

In all honesty, I get ideas while writing. Then I implement those ideas and worry about all the consequences later... A strategy that bites me in the ass quite a bit :D But I like doing it. For example what I said about wings in the previous post. Or the twins and Lexia interlude was not all that planned. I just started writing.

Of course, some of it is planned but a lot of it only comes to me while actively writing. This is probably why my outlines suck :D Maybe I indulge my whims too much, but I do sometimes pull back. Like having multiple heritage features did not happen... Even if that was mainly due to the fact, I am not good enough at coding yet.... Besides the point. Well I have cut some stuff! Like a reaction to meeting Havard where you just sort of squint at him... had no idea where to go with that one.

Now onto a completed game. This is such a far thing into the future, have honestly not considered it much :D This game is planned to cover MC from this age to full adulthood (or young adult at least). That is a lot of time to cover, and as I have said, I refuse to rush. That is a lot of words to write, code, and then edit. It would make sense to make it something worth money.

Yet, the world is something I have had in my head for years and years. I started writing this because I like writing it. I published this demo, because I wanted to see what other people thought of this story. If they like it too. I answer people with such long ramblings because I like discussing this world. I feel like this is the key. I like doing and sharing this.

Right now I am in a situation where I can spend a lot of time on writing the silver protector, and for the past two or so months I have spend most of my free time on the story. That is a lot of hours. This is something that I feel I should say: there will be a time when my personal life does not allow me as much time to work on this. It will happen eventually, though I am uncertain when. That will mean that progress will slow down, even if I don't it to. Until then, I will keep writing because I like doing it.

Of course I have considered things like a patreon or a monthly subscription on kofi or... boosty, I think it is called. Yet I hesitate. Why? Because I am afraid of this becoming more like work rather than a fun enjoyable past time :D Nothing kills motivation than not liking what you do, and things you like can turn into things you don't like... I know this quite well.

Then there is the question of what would I offer those who would pay to support this project? I like giving sneak peeks here to everyone which is a thing people like doing on their patreons right? Progress updates? I don't do those as often but I do them once in a while. Yet, writing this story is a huge use of my time. There is no getting around that truth either. Can I justify it to myself? As long as I like doing it, I think I can.

If I do start a patreon or a monthly subscription thing, it will be for early access to the demo. Perhaps smaller updates instead of full chapters. Then later publish to everyone. See, I have thought about this, and clearly do not like pay walling the story content itself. It would be possible to offer extra content or cut off something like interludes to use as exclusive content, but I don't feel like doing that. All of that is good and fine, but I want to focus on the main story, and if I do interludes, it is because I feel they serve some purpose. Of course, having something like patreon would have a benefit of having a "test group" that would perhaps report bugs and typos to me. Maybe. This is all something to consider and eventually I will need to make a choice.

All right, enough rambling about me and how my brain works. Thank you for asking, and for liking the story so far. I wish you the best.

Don't worry about rambling. I believe the above, and how I tend to answer questions I get in general, shows I ramble a lot :D And I have called the demo, my ramblings too . But what can I say, I like discussing and interacting like this :D

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some repliessss 🎃

Anonymous asked:

How are you guys feeling about the new twst event, The night before Christmas one, especially your thoughts on the new character!

I’m always excited for the Halloween events, Anon! All of them have been fun so far, and I love events with big groups of characters. Super happy to see Idia participate this year, we miss him a lot… it feels like we haven’t seen him in ages for some reasons. Especially in the same event with Azul and Jade and a lot of other guys!

And the gothic feel of the outfits is great, like super good. I am one of those people who haven’t seen the original movie, but the aesthetics of it are so good and suit the boys very well. Not saying anything about the Jamil card because I’m going to have cardiac arrest if I start thinking about it.

As it always it with us though, it will take some time for us to get to the event and actually watch it – we only watched the last Halloween one this spring. So we probably won’t be able to comment on anything related to the event for quite a while. It’s interesting that this is a “lost in the book” type of event though, but to be honest, I don’t know what to make of it. I hope it’s fun though, it better be.

As for the new character (is it Skully or Skelly?), I talked about him a little bit in this reply, and I don’t have much to add yet. Well, other than now that we see his full design I can tell he is pretty well-balanced. I hope they have a lot of fun with him in live2d sprites.

Anonymous asked:

aw the cuties! kid rook's longer hair makes him look like such a tomboy, do you think he got mistaken for a girl often?

Thank you!! <3

He strikes me as a wild kid that hops around from one tree to another lol So people’s first reaction would probably be “wow, that is one feral boy, who is that, Mowgli?”

But if he sat still for like one moment and people got to see his cute face and the long hair, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone thought he was a tomboyish girl.

Anonymous asked:

Why the younger tweels look kinda...😳👉👈

👀 😌 cute??? Aw, why thank you~

These two have been menaces since day one….

Anonymous asked:

I’m thinking of the eels when they’re younger getting a nanny who’s actually wanted by the cops but no one knows it. After a week with them, she turns herself in.

Oh that poor nanny lol See, they do good things sometimes! Like unknowingly torturing people until they confess their crimes to the police! And honestly, she is lucky, because her fate would’ve been worse if she stayed with these two…

I think Jade and Floyd were the types of kids who considered all the nannies and private teachers to be their toys. Of course, they are here to take care of them or teach them, but in actuality, they are here for them to entertain themselves. Nice enrichment for horrible kids…

Anonymous asked:

The question about me being Gidel and Fellow’s sponsor was in reference to the comic on kofi where the latter was forced to….service some dudes. He looked so traumatized, I want to hug him. Which is why my offer’s on the table! I don’t want anything from either except to scratch their ears. Emotional support scritches. ❤️❤️❤️

Ohh, that one! Got it <3 Yeah, that was a sad one; for some reason I always want to add some angst to their shenanigans… He really is traumatised, especially considering that by that point he almost started to believe that that life was in the past. But unfortunately running away from powerful people who need you to remember your place and their ownership of you is difficult…

Aw, now I made myself sad lol Please scratch their ears a lot!! They need it.

Anonymous asked:

Hi I was the anon who recommended Raul and the Vampire and recently I just found out that it has been serialized!!! So of course I have to share this great news to you heheh

Hiii, Anon!

Yes, we’ve seen it, but haven’t read it yet qwq I’m so happy for the author! Well deserved, I hope they get a lot of new readers and continue developing this story.

Thank you for recommending it once again. Whenever we randomly think about these two it makes us so happy lol

Anonymous asked:

Speaking of Vil, although their lives are somewhat different, this scene and song still remind me of him: https://youtu.be/mI3XowjxP1g?si=vfnFWJf5p2IEZY_W

I see your vision, Anon! Especially in a piano scene changing into a pole scene lol

Fame and one’s relationship with adoring/obsessive/hating/non-caring audience are difficult things to fully process 🤔

[lunacornfan2k24]

I’ve seen other fanfic writers do an AO3 wrap up and tbh I’ve been kind of embarrassed to do one myself because I was only a productive writer from May to October which isn’t even half of the year (thanks to Jedi: survivor, bg3, and everything in my authors notes) but it was also my most productive year for writing fanfic that I wanted to do something so…

Ao3 statistics don’t easily separate by year for a multi chapter fic that I started back in 2021, but I can do a rough estimate of 2023 stats and then reflect on every fic that I’ve written this year. (Edit: by the time I finish writing this we will be a week into 2024 at least)

Almyrah’s AO3 2023 Year In Review:

New fics posted: The Spy and The Actor, Phoenix the Vampire Hunter

Fics updated: The Spy and The Liar: The Movie (6x)

Word count: ~50k

Comment threads: 48

Kudos: 81+

Best comment: @agent-calivide (in Exes and Ohs, chapter 7 of The Spy and The Liar: The Movie)

I have had so much support for my writing this year thanks to the amazing I Expect You To Die fandom and the IEYTD fandom discord in particular. To be honest, you guys really make it hard to be humble with how much love is showered over my fics and I am so grateful for every kudos, comment, and bookmark I’ve received since I started the Celebrity Crush series way back in 2021 when a certain actor lived in my head rent free.

Like I said before the statistics are rough estimates and I think that the best way to celebrate all I’ve done this past year is with words more than numbers and statistics.

The Spy and The Liar: The Movie

This is probably the best fic I’ve ever written! I am so proud of how it has grown beyond ten bullet points to be the 66k story it currently is with more to come. I’ve loved weaving foreshadowing and subtext into the story that I think most people have missed.

It’s also really hard to stay humble as this is the most love I’ve ever gotten on a fic and it has somehow seemingly become the Agent Phoenix/John Juniper fic on ao3. I’ve literally dropped all my other wips for other and bigger fandoms because of how much love and support it’s gotten. Especially because of the people in the fandom discord. Maybe it’s the instant appreciation but I had never been more motivated to write than when y’all shared your love for this fic and the Celebrity Crush series in general.

The Celebrity Crush series and ieytd was the first thing that got me back into writing after going through the most traumatic and violent loss and experience of my entire life back in 2020 (wasn’t even covid related lol). Literally an entire year had passed before I could write again. To know that this story has meant as much to you guys as he has to me has been the greatest gift that could ever been given to me.

Thank you.

The Spy and The Actor

This story wasn’t really supposed to be anything. The first (and only) chapter was written on a whim in one sitting based on a conversation in the fandom discord. Just the third time I’d be rewriting the ieytd 2 with an Agent Phoenix/John Juniper twist…

But then came the comments.

For those that don’t know, the point of the fic was that it was written and published by John Juniper but to come off as a fan thirsting for John instead of John thirsting for Phoenix. At its core it was me roleplaying as John Juniper. And the discord decided to roleplay in the comments as various characters from the games and of course I had to respond in character as John Juniper!

Even when I was a teen I thought roleplay was kinda cringe. But now? I get it, like I get it! I had so much fun roleplaying as John Juniper!!! I’m usually really nice so being able to just let go and be an absolute bitch. I’m so excited to work on the next chapter but I know it’ll have to be when I’ll have time to sit down and roleplay with everyone again.

Phoenix the Vampire Hunter

This was written for Calivide for beta reading a chapter in The Spy and The Liar: The Movie. This is the first fully alternate universe fic I’ve ever written and I absolutely adore the world I’ve created. It’s a sandbox that I’d love to play in more and I’d love for others to play in the sandbox too if they ever feel like it and write their own stories of the world. The ending I have planned leaves the world open for so many possible stories for myself or anyone to explore.

And I promise that I wrote vampire!Juniper before I ever played Baldur’s Gate III and fell in love with Astarion

God this got long but these fics mean so much more to me than simple statistics can tell and I hope people can see why I chose to elaborate on everything.

With 2024 signaling the 10th year of me writing and publishing fanfiction and with last year being so productive, I’m hoping to bring all of last years productivity into the new year as long as the video game industry stops releasing so many good games (I haven’t even gotten to spider-man 2 yet lol)

[popculturewitchcraft-grimoire]

My weird feelings about Spirituality

I find Spiritual stuff in general interesting. But everytime my brain realizes its something spiritual and has do to with what you believe in...I tend to get defensive and try to push it out my life. Like I've always been more interested in Greek Mythology, North Mythology or even the Egyptian Mythology (I hope I'm using the right terms here.) as a child. I've been watching Youtube videos about it. But when it comes to religions like Christianity..I've been indifferent to it. I've always found myself debating and questioning, and saying that the stories are not realistic and make no sense. And that all of this is just some childish stories. Since I firmly believed that believing and praying to a God is stupid since for me he didn't exist. But as I got older I realized that this part of my trauma speaking. I still remember the time where I was crying myself to sleep and praying to God/or whoever listened that this all stops...at an age of six(maybe younger). Because people said if you pray than god helps you right? But nothing changed....if anything it became worse with time. So whenever people told me that "God put obstacles in my path to make me stronger". I was angry at that. I still believe that if some god finds its funny to traumatize children. That this god doesn't deserve to prayed to and worshipped, but a punch in his face. The child version of me deserved a happy childhood(like everyone else does) and not some stupid obstacles. So...now that I find myself interested in Witchcraft (mostly Pop Culture). It kinda fights against the belief I always had. That there are not gods that might help you and that worshipping someone is waste of time. If I'm being honest I am glad that I do not have to pray to anyone (even if I someday decide to work with some pop culture deity). Because even the idea of praying makes me angry and reminds me of the time when I was a kid...begging for my father to stop drinking and for my parents to stop fighting. As I started practicing and getting more information about Witchcraft. Out of curiosity or maybe out of spite to proof that all of this is BS I wanted to try to reach out to some Pop Culture Deity. It might be a stupid idea to do so as a way to get into Witchcraft, but who cares? I already did that. And I really liked the Characters Yae Miko and Raiden Ei. Raiden Shoguns Banner had a rerun at that time. I decided to use that as a way to reach out (after I did some information gathering about Raiden Shogun and other stuff.) is to pull for her and if I do get her than it's a sign. And I did got Raiden Shogun, which made me kinda happy. First...Raiden Ei fits great into my Team and Second it was kinda cool. I know it might be just coincidence after all Genshin Impact wishing system is very random. It surprised me even more since I lost the 50/50 when it was Yae Miko's Banner (I want to have all Electro Characters, because their my favourite regardless if I ever use them or not). So when I was pulling for Raiden Ei...I didn't have any hopes and was very pessimistic about that. Maybe it mean nothing...but to me it was an eye-opener, which made me believe in the Multiverse Theory. I became more open-minded about Spirituality in general. Of course its still work in progress, but I find myself being happy for people when they share their stuff about Witchcraft(even if it's about stuff I don't believe or even care about). Rather than getting annoyed by it like I used to be. I might still have a hard time with not getting triggered by Christianity (especially since some people try to put their religion into people's faces.) But I learned to understand that even if I will never be able to believe in their God/Jesus...but if believing in him makes them happy, then who am I to judge? Especially since I am interested in Pop Culture Witchcraft and in some Pop Culture deities.

[lotusmi]

hey lotusmi... so i am gonna share my story so i make sure to give you a warning before i proceed.. its not traumatic and stuff its just issues i have..

so i am actually in my house and since kid till now i am always at home seeing t.v and other gadgets and it honestly makes me happy but when i go to school i have friends yes... a group of friends but those guys like i kinda dont relate with them especially the 2 girls because i always be with them but i feel like they kinda ignores me but also reassures me that they dont want to leave me alone also so they are really good people. tbh those 2 relate a lot with each other but i dont usually care about my friend group now cuz honestly its boring they dont give me attention (thats what i feel like). but if i talk to someone they come in and interrupts my conversation that honestly pisses me off. sometimes they make me feel i am a weird person because i am the most weirdest person in my friend group and my friends are usually mature people but we don't text at all but we talk in school so i feel kinda distant with my friend group and i know for sure this wont last after my school life is over. and these are my problems with friendgroup i guess? and in my house i am literally an introvert and always stays at home and i really wanna go out and have fun but the problem is i dont have people to go out because most of my friends are my school friends because those people are the ones i talk other than that i dont text or talk to anyone... i think u get the context? and my parents.. ya they r fine they let me do what i want and usually dont care so thats good overall. especially due to being in this community for 5 months almost which helped me alot with mental health wise.

the person i want to be is just go out and have fun, being the most popular getting attention nonstop and alot of stuff which yk every people aspire to be.. but i just dont know because after i saw this community every single day i open my laptop and open my tumblr first and start to read these loa's, Neville goddard books and stuff which made me overconsume but i know that all i have to do is feel that desire already been accomplish and move on with my day but idk what will i do after that because in reality i am just at home seeing gadgets and stuff thats all i do and especially i dont have a real life to experience except in my imagination. imagination is my home and everything and i love to imagine stuff and identify with myself and ngl the stuffs i have imagined came true! but idk i just feel distant and alone? idk what is the issue i am talking about but i want an third person perspective of my assumption and the story which i have written here thats all! i am so sorry if troubled you in any way but i just want clarity of what my thoughts are and why do i identify with this story?

I did not fully read it yet, but as I read "Issues I have" I smile and think "Don't accept it", just as Neville always did. You are not your issues, nothing is permanent, only I AM is forever, and I AM is your wonderful awareness, that you can decide to identify yourself and your life as you want. Because 'circumstances does not matter'.

"the person i want to be" 'You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.' - Neville Goddard

I struggled 5 months with my own weird feelings about the void. But as I decided I would not identify myself as having that weird feelings and stopped myself identifying that I felt weird, I stopped feeling weird. It was that easy. You are the creator in your mind too. So stop thinking there's a mystical reason, I did that for 5 months to discover the mystical reason was that I accepted to feel it. So if you don't want to feel like this, do just as I did, don't feel it. Just because you don't want to, then don't do it. It is this simple.

[lokislynx]

My relationship with the phantom of the opera has been in my mind for some time now. I "debated" on the subject about a month ago and I still can't get over it. I suppose it is because I felt like I was poorly trying to express myself to my younger self. They had a passion on the subject (unless they were just trolling me) that I once had and now lack.

It is not that I don't still love the story, it's just that I have changed. I used to obsess over the story, like truly obsess... Now as I've been through a lot of things, know myself a bit better and... well... what ever... I simply lack the capasity to feel such passion over anything, even the phantom.

I know this person blocked me so this will never reach them but...

I suppose I just want to tell all the other phans that... I am still one of you and that I love you though I cannot follow you all.

I rarely follow phantom related blogs because specially ALW phantom triggers very traumatic memories in me, for it was something I shared with two very toxic people who were very close to me. It's been ten years since I could listen to the musical and enjoy it... ten years since I made through the whole recording...

Damn... ten years since I read Leroux's or Kay's Phantom...

I used to love reading, analyzing, researching Leroux's novel but...

Through my experiences the story has kinda twisted with me. I still write all the time stories about Erik and Nadir, in most of them these days they resemble none of what they are in the books. At worst the phantom is no longer a deformed man who is desperately searching for love. He is no longer the example of what the cruelty of people can create like he is in Leroux's novel. For to be honest... he would not be a comfort character to me any more if he still was the deformed man the world drove to insanity... who has a very unhappy ending and well, who Leroux uses as the monster of his horror story going even so far that the symbolism leaves the ending open on what happened to Christine and Raoul... if you choose to discard the possibility that Erik is telling the truth to the persian.

No. The phantom and me would not mix well with each other, not even Kay's whose is a bit "saner" than the rest. He would trigger the traumas in me, we would both be unable to understand each other emotionally... or maybe I could understand it's just that I've learned that understanding means absolutely nothing.

In Christine's shoes I'd turn feral against him. I could never behave as smartly as Christine did in Leroux's novel. I would...

You see I've never been Christine. Deep down I have always been Erik.

And getting kidnapped would be pretty serious...

And why I write my Erik without the insanity. My skill as a writer would not be enough to write such a complex character and most of all... I couldn't. He is my comfort character as he is now in my head. The real, true Erik in Leroux's book is a huge trigger warning to me... which is beyond painful because I loved that book. It saved my life. It made me who I am...

But it's okey that my Erik is no longer the Erik. My Erik is... me... or some variant of me... I don't know... the me, any of us, what could have been, what is... what I wish I could be...

All I know is he has become more than what Leroux made him. He is not just a deformed man who the world turned into a monster. He is... a person who the world tried to turn into a monster. It can be left open if or not the world succeeded.

You see... there is absolutely no excuse to what he does in the books, the movies and musicals. "The world showed no pity for me!" is no excuse to kidnap and commit multiple murders... Sadly, sometimes, as it could be very useful. But where would we be if it was...

"So you've been broken and you've been hurt, Show me somebody who ain't..." (the Boss, Human touch).

This is also why it is so terribly important to understand that Erik is insane and no less. Leroux's story is not only a cry for understanding those who are different, it is also a powerful example of how the law should treat the criminally insane. The persian is the symbol of law in the book. He can't judge Erik for what he does, the persian can't even hate him because his job is to try and help Erik...

And I'm getting off topic...

This is why it's so hard for me to express myself... and why I get misunderstood. I am sure I had a point... somewhere...

This... is also why Leroux's Erik triggers me. I really used to be... sharper. My biggest fear has always been losing my mind somehow. And I have lost my ability to concentrate and hold my trail of thought since I became an early childhood educator.

I suppose I just wrote this for myself as a reminder.

[fruity-fangirl]

As per one of my new year's resolutions, I said that I'll be posting more on here, so here we go. This post will be a teen wolf the movie review, but instead of rating it I'll just be sharing my thoughts

!!!TEEN WOLF THE MOVIE SPOILERS!!!

I'll start off with the parts that I enjoyed

so it doesn't seem like I hated the movie. I really enjoyed Scott's character in the movie. It felt like the writers and directors recognized the key elements of Scott's character and stayed true to it. the way that scott was willing to sacrifice himself just so that his friends and family can live was the same type of selfless deed he has done in the series. Scott's motivations have always been about protected his family and friends, so its refreshing to see that they stay true to his original character.

I also really enjoyed derek and eli's relationship, like it meant have felt like your typical teenage and parent relationship but there's just something special about the way that they are. Like all derek wanted to do is keep his son safe and to keep being apart of eli's life. Like you can tell that even tho they are both as stubborn as an ox, they still love each other to pieces.

(Also who is eli's mother cause I don't think its braedon. I'm not staying that there's anything wrong with him not having a mother. I'm just curious since Derek still had a love interest when the series ended)

I also enjoyed the fact that Malia stayed the same, she was fun and so unserious that it works for when for her. Its also nice to see that she mad something out of her life. (I wonder if stiles was the one to inspire her in cars and mechanics)

I loved the fact that the nogitsune's role started the same. the nogitsune's job was to just find someone that had deep enough connections in the pack that the pack couldn't killed them themselves.

While I am still bawling, I loved that Derek's character arc was completed. Derek came into the series and was really closed off and just wanted answers about his family. He ended up finding a new family and still getting closer about his old one. Derek also went out the same way most of the hales went out, by a flame, which is a whole new level of traumatic for everyone, but anyway. Why is derek and eli soo heavily mufasa and simba coded??

I also loved eli and malia's relationship, they really felt like (2nd) cousins and they had really good interactions.

I am glad to see that scott got his wish of having his own little family to raise and love.

Eli's also seems like a really good fit to eventually replace scott as the protector of Beacon hills

Below is the things that I'm pretty neutral about:

1. The whole plot twist of the chemistry teacher from season 1-3 really surprised me, like it makes perfect sense for him to take revenge scott and the pack but also not really since it was Jennifer's doing and Scott and the pack killed Jennifer. Harris also did not really add much to the story. For some reason I was expecting a bigger plot twist.

2. The way that the battle ended felt really half done like in theory sure that was one way to probably defeat the Nogitsune but how did they know that it was going to work. Parrish was only introduced later on in the series so they had no way of that he could defeat the Nogitsune.

3. Scott and Allison's relationship to me felt the same way Stiles and Lydia's felt. There was so much build up in the relationship only for the chemistry to not be enough for them to work as an endgame couple. They tried to force they two of them together so intensely that it just felt rushed and sloppy. While they kinda work together, scott and Allison are not the best pairings for each other same with stiles and lydia.

4. Allison's comeback to me was veryyy overhyped like she wasn't even a void allison or something. Allison just seemed like the same young influenciable girl that took everything her mom, aunt and grandad took to heart. Also the "loses her memory and gets it back through love" trope is very overdone and always gives me a weird feeling.

Next is things that I really disliked about the movie:

1. There was little to no consistency from the series, like what happened to Braeden, Corey and Theo. They were key players throughout the series and now its like POOF! they're gone. Two you can not make new relationship of the blue I get that you "needed" to shove malia into a relationship but with parrish of all people, eww. Also I thought that Melissa and Chris were going to stay together, but I guess they had to break they up for Scallison(?) to work.

2. Majority of the characters were underdeveloped, like i get that you don't have time for all of them, but at least try to make an effort. Like they had so much potential with another kitsune but they blew it. Even the returning characters felt like they were barely there.

3. I HATED (and I mean hated) the fact Jackson was so present in to story, he had no reason to even be there in the first place.

4. Also why was there so much nudity, like ??!

If I remember anything else I'll add on later but yeah. Let me know about your thoughts.

Note 1: I forgot to mention, the writers never should have tried to do stiles and kira's story without them

Note 2: The writers are absolute cowards for doing the same queerbaiting with stiles that they did in the series. I personally don't ship sterek (because of the age gap, and that they meant when stiles was a minor), but they could have done without the whole "jeep symbolizing their relationship" thing. The they were cowards not just making stiles bi in the first place, since stiles was clearly bi.

-AB

[kitkatt0430]

🤔🐌💥🛏️

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

I've been really getting into Tomb Raider again lately, so I might write something about Lara or one of her friends. Sam especially seems interesting to me - the truth about Himiko and Yamatai were certainly just as traumatic for her to learn about as they were for Lara (albeit in different ways) and it's got to be hard for her to square the childhood stories that were probably like fairy tales to the truth that nearly led to her being body-snatched.

I'm also really enjoying some of the silly 'Villainess' themed mangas and anime right now - 7th Time Loop and My Next Life as a Villainess are both turning out to be really funny in particular. It might be fun to write something about Catarina (from the latter series) - I really like the idea that she's demi-romantic and that's part of the reason she's super oblivious to the fact that everyone has fallen in love with her. It's not just her obsession with sweets (her true OTP, tasty sweets all hers to eat) or her fixation on avoiding 'doom flags'.

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

Pay better attention to how I'm feeling so I don't burn myself out. This was a pretty stressful year for me between the year starting with a hole in my hallway ceiling, the wasps that were basically a yearlong thing, and the home reno (with the walk in closet addition that took three tries for the wall to go up in the right place -_- ) and I didn't really realize how much a toll that was taking on my creative side until Flufftober arrived and I just... completely lacked the energy or drive to really participate. Since I still have a (much smaller) home reno project in mind for 2024, I want to do a better job of identifying when I need to slow down and do a bit more self care. Right now I'm focusing on some non-writing projects to kind of help myself reboot. I'm not avoiding writing, but I'm not pushing myself to get back into it right now.

... hmmm, not sure if this is actually a small goal or not now that I've written it down. But it's something I kinda struggle with towards the end of every year and hit me both harder and earlier this year so it is really important to me to find a better balance. (Also need to actually use my SAD lamps more, I think that factors in too...)

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

So I'd love to share something specific about my Eobard vs Eobard series but I don't wanna give spoilers either. Suffice it to say that Eo (Hero edition) is very oblivious about a few things that everyone - Meloni, Gideon, Robern, and even Barry - figure out before him. (You know he's being particularly oblivious about something if Barry figures it out first, am I right?)

But that's also a few stories away; the next fic in the series is going to be Barry and Eo vs ... I'm not sure yet. Eobard will intend to stay out of the fight at first but when Barry's hurt it makes Eo change his mind something sharpish. It'll have Eobard and Barry's first kiss, but also Eowells getting the first clue that Herobard may be a time traveler too.

🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year?

Something LitRPG-ish. I shared the idea not too long ago of Iris getting Isekai-ed into her favorite visual novel/dating sim and it'd be a lot of fun to write that one. And also I think she deserves her own little harem of cute guys and gals :D

[migilini]

Not So Secret Anymore - Charlie Gillespie

summary: It’s hard to hide a relationship from the public, particually when both work on the same show.

words: 2.5k

warnings: fluff

a/n: not my fave but i still somehow like it.

Requests are open :)

MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------------

September

"When do we have our first interview?" you asked the boy whose head was in your lap. He looked up from his phone and your eyes locked with his green ones "Hmm, my calendar says in about 30 minutes."

You groaned at that and stopped playing with Charlie's hair which earned you a grunt and whine from him. "Sorry babe but I think I have to go, so I still have time to get ready and set up." You muttered and gave him a small kiss on his brown hair.

"Uhh fine." The weight lifted from your legs, you stood up and before you knew it you were thrown over his shoulder. Laughing, you slapped his butt and back repeatedly. "Babe! I mean it" you tried to press out between giggles, "we both decided to keep us a secret." He sat you down on the kitchen isle and cornered your body in between his arms, standing right in front of you, you're back hitting the kitchen cabinet.

"I know... come back later?" he asked and tilted his head, looking at you with big puppy eyes. "You know it." After a swift kiss, or rather a little make out session, you were on your way back to your own appartement. Just in time to change your top and put on a lip-gloss before opening your laptop and joining the interview.

"Hello everybody! I'm here with the cast of Netflix' Julie and the Phantoms that came out on Thursday. How are you guys?" the interviewer asked and smiled into the camera of his laptop. The whole cast chirped in with a good, great, or amazing.

"That's fantastic!" he clapped his hands "Now, Jeremy, how would you describe your Character and the show in general?"

"It's a show about ghosts from 1995 who come back 25 years later and join a band with Julie who didn't sing a note after her mother died. Reggie, the character that I play, is one of those ghosts and he is a loveable himbo. Did I use that word correctly Maddie?"

Maddie smiled and the interviewer changed the topic "Madison and y/n, birds have told me that this was your first ever acting job is that right?"

You nodded and signaled Maddie to speak first "Yes, and it was both amazing and traumatizing! I was so nervous, but the crew really helped to calm me down, especially y/n who just was in the same position as me, so we freaked out together most of the time." She smiled and the interviewer waited for you to answer. "Except, Maddie had a least some acting training at school, that's why she is the best. I more or less walked into the whole situation." You said laughing.

"I love this story." Jeremy exclaimed, making you slightly blush at his words.

"Would you be so kind and tell us?" the interviewer questioned and smiled at your little nod.

"Yes, yes of course. Well, I was on vacation with one of my good friends from back home..."

"She means Germany." Owen interrupted with a smile on his lips. "Yes, Owen. Thank you for adding important details. Anyways, we saw that there was an Open Audition nearby and though why not? We don't have anything to lose or to do on that particular day. And here I am, my friend sadly didn't get in."

"That really is an amazing story, I can see why Jeremy likes it so much. So, Charlie how would you describe y/n's and Luke's characters, she wasn't supposed to be in the script and was later added in right?" Charlie quirked up at the mention of your name and stated proudly. "Indeed, she impressed Kenny so much that he wrote a character just for her. He thought that Sunset Curve, the band name before we died, needed a female to handle their chaos or well... at least tries to. Y/N plays Allie, who against common speculation isn't any of the boys' love interest which is a very nice turn of events. She and Luke bud head a lot because Luke only thinks about music and the band and she tries hard to make him take breaks every now and then." 

A lovesick smile sat on your face while you listened to your boyfriend of nearly a year, once you realized your expression you quickly shook it off. Hiding this relationship was definitely going to be harder than expected.

The Interviewer asked some more questions before the last and dreaded question was thrown your way. "So, most of your fans are wondering if any of you guys are in a relationship." You and Charlie had discussed a million times before what you guys would say in such a moment, the two of you shared a look.

Jeremy's eyes switched from Charlie's box on his screen to y/n's before answering "I have a lovely wife! The rest of us are happily single, right guys?"

"100%" Maddie added, while Owen only shrugged, his dog conveniently jumping into his lap.

"How about the other two?" he eyed up the last remaining.

"Very single" Charlie laughed, and you agreed "Totally."

As time went on it was harder and harder for the two of you to hide the relationship, as you two spent nearly every day together and therefore did the same activities. Particularly after your social media accounts have gained over a million followers and people started to ship actors and tv show characters. But you two loved the little secret bubble you've created, there was no pressure to take good pictures together, or to post stories, to be asked a thousand questions about your relationship and no hate towards any of you.

December

It has been 4 months since the show released and the hype it got definitely was way more than you ever expected. It blew your mind. Currently, you are on Charlie and yours one-year anniversary / Christmas / good deeds vacation. Charlie and you found a good mix, that made you both happy, between chilling and doing adventurous things.

It was Christmas eve and Maddie wanted to do a 'guess the song Christmas Edition' with the main cast. Eagerly you agreed and hurried from the beach, where Charlie currently took the quiz at the bar you both sat on just minutes before, to your shared bedroom. You shot Maddie a quick text that you were 'out of the relationship zone' and ready when she was ready.

"Helloooo. How did the others do?"

"Not the worst but I still have faith in you to win this. ARE YOU READY?" she screamed the last part.

“I’m going to read you the lyrics of a christmas song and you have to guess the next line. There are certain cards that give one point and others give two. Whoever has the most points at the end…”

“Hopefully get your earrings” you asked with a sly smile and your shoulders raised.

Maddie laughed but shook her head “Sadly, no. I haven't figured out the price yet, but I for sure will! I like your backdrop by the way.” she added and you quickly looked behind you. You sat crisscrossed on the hotel room floor, you used the coffee table and a water bottle as a phonestand and used a white checkered wall as a background to try and hide the fact that you didn't sit in your living room.

January

“This should be the last box.” you cheered into the empty hall and shut the front door with a light push from your hip. Charlie popped his head out of the bedroom and walked over to, dropping his head on your shoulder in exhaustion. Nothing was set up, boxes stood randomly all over the apartment, the fridge stood there still empty and a lonely mattress covered the bedroom floor.

“The walls look a bit bare don't you think?” you said about a week later, standing in the middle of the now a bit furnished living room. Strong arms sneaked their way around your waist and a head dropped on your shoulder.

“Hmm… you're right. What do you have in mind?” Charlie said and turned you around so you were facing him. He smiled at the spark in your eyes “I was thinking, a yellow akzent wall with random secondhand pictures and some pictures of us, all in frames of course. So it's gonna have this homey and creative atmosphere.” You rambled on for a while longer, telling him where you think his instruments could go, the pillows you saw online and thought they worked perfect with the colour of the couch. Charlie just stared at you, a dumb smile on his lips with his arms around you.

“Do you not like it?” you noticed that he hasn't talked for a while and got worried. “I love it. We could live in a dumpster for all I care, as long as I have you by my side.” You fake gaged at his romantic words and gave him a kiss.

The first time people got really suspicious was the time you accidentally walked in on a live he had on Instagram. He sat in front of his instruments, phone propped up before him. You thought that he was already finished but you were wrong.

“Do you think this…” you walked into the room, a shirt in your hand that you just took out of the dryer and lost your words the moment you saw him sitting in front of his phone. He looked at you with wide eyes, his brain clearly searching for a good excuse. 

“Is that y/n?” he read outloud from the chat, gesturing you do sit next to him. “Yes it's her! We’re hanging out and she helped me with my washing because I somehow still don't know how to do it.” he laughed nervously, his hand grabbing yours out of the frame.

“He promised me food and I live really close by, so I thought I'll help this poor man out.”

May

Looking back at this moment now, you and Charlie weren't sure why you just didn't come clean. You didn't mean to hide the relationship this long, it just kinda happened and at one point it just got too awkward to tell. It was fairly easy to hide most of the time, you didn't most that much on instagram and Charlie only showed parts of his daily life.

The easiest was the time you filmed JATP Season 2. You were expected to hang out and live together. Back in 2019 you already lived with Owen and Charlie. This time poor Owen had to live with a couple instead of just two friends. (You were already dating for a while back then but didn't tell the cast, to not make a fuss.)

It wasn't like the fans didn't suspect a thing, especially after Owen posted a video of you two fooling around. 

Everybody sat outside, enjoying the everwarming sun on their skin. Half of the cast was already in costume just waiting for the break to end. In typical Allie (your character) fashion you wore an overall with a tight tank top underneath, your makeup stood out from the others with the heavy blush, freckles and black eyeliner. 

Charlie, in his Luke wardrobe, thought that it was funny to stand in front of you to shield you from the sun.

"Stop that" you whined and tried to shove him away, which was harder than you thought considering he stood before you and you sat on a bench.

"Make me." He flirted and stood even wider before you, puffing out his chest. Raising an unimpressed eyebrow, you stole his beany with a swift motion. His expresion quickly changed from cocky to shocked, snickering was heard from Maddie who was used to this type of behaviour.

"Ups… heavy wind blows in the shadows." You explained nonchalantly and pulled the beany on your head, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend.

"Oh it's on my lady" he growled "I'm giving you a three second advantage. One…" your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up. "Two…" you got up and scanned the place internally making a good running line. "Th-.." you began sprinting across the lot. You heard the laughing from your castmates behind you as you and Charlie ran in circles. 

Unfortunately, he was still fitter and faster than you and about a minute into the running he had you thrown over his shoulder.

"Surrender!" he screamed as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.

"Never!" You screamed back and wiggled even harder.

"Surrender or i'll have to tickle you" he warned and those were the last words Owen was able to film before a producer yelled that the break was finished.

February

“Baby, if I would believe this News Article, you have a secret girlfriend, but it's not me.” you showed him your phone screen.

“I’m not cheating on you. I would never, i'd die rather than…” his frantic expression made you snort. “I know. Oh my god! People saw you with Lia.” you held his hands comfortably.

“Lia as in your best friend Lia?”

“The one and only. People noticed the hickeys... At least they’re getting closer now. So are we still on for the masterplan? You by instruments and I'm gonna sit in the bedroom?" He nodded and smiled at the sight of your equally plastered neck. 

Eventually, before you even were able to execute the as you'd like to say 'masterplan' your relationship got outed. I mean it was time, the two of you getting lazier with the hiding as time went by. 

Fans noticed that you wore a lot of Charlie's things and that you and him always seemed to be at the same place at the same time. It was actually one of your lives that spilled the secret. 

"That's a really nice akzent wall" you read outloud from the chat "oh thank you! It was a long process to get all the pictures but it was actually Charlie's idea to not only have pictures but also plane tickets, date memories and so on hung up on that wall. It really makes it homey. I think to get that wall this crowded it took us...what? About well since we moved in…" you didn't even realise what you said you just babbled and then it was out.

"Charlie actually is home! I could call him. Babe! Come here for a sec- oh my god!" Your hands flew up to your mouth in realizion. 

From that moment on you were public and your social media exploded once again. However the two of you were happy to finally show each other off.

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[theartofdreaming1]

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 25-27 are below the cut.

heart

The imagery that really caught my attention this time was Peeta pointing out the changes in the moon to Katniss: The only indication of the passage of time lies in the heavens, the subtle shift of the moon. So Peeta begins pointing it out to me, insisting I acknowledge its progress and sometimes, for just a moment I feel a flicker of hope before the agony of the night engulfs me again. - So for one, we see another example of Peeta focusing on the small details in life (which I’ve previously hypothesized to being an important element in his recovery from his hijacking) as well as Peeta being the one to give Katniss hope, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Also, it’s a nice parallel to Katniss looking at the moon and desperately wishing for it to be “her moon” back in chapter 23. As a nocturnal person, I also love watching the moon from my living room window🌙

mind

Hmmh, I don’t think that Katniss and Peeta’s win was predetermined - although I do believe that by introducing the romantic angle, they significantly improved their odds. A Career winning the Games is not really that special and exciting, since it happens so often (although Careers generally satisfy that excitement for violence/blood/gore, that plenty of Capitol people seem to share). As a volunteer from District 12, who achieved an extremely good training score and proved herself to be very capable in the arena already, Katniss definitely had an edge by playing into the classic underdog story, which offered another exciting “narrative” for the Capitolites to follow - that, coupled (heh) with the romance angle Peeta introduced? Katniss (and Peeta) definitely had the entertainment (and excitement through novelty) factor on their side. Ironically, Cato’s chances of winning were not as good as he expected, precisely because he was playing it by the book.

soul

Poor Peeta (and Katniss), it hurts that their relationship was in such a rocky place by the end of the book. Especially those weeks right after the end of Book 1, when there were still cameras around District 12 and they had to pretend while hurting must have sucked big time🥺

Chapter 25

Ugh, the muttations are just so unsettling... *shudder*

Honestly, I’m just so impressed by Peeta’s presence of mind to draw that X on Cato’s hand, after he had just most of his calf ripped off, only to be grabbed and put in a headlock by Cato! He and Katniss work insanely well under pressure

God, Cato’s death is just so gruesome and awful... In the end, his “gift” from the Feast doesn’t help him win at all, but instead ends up prolonging his suffering a cruel amount... I wonder if in general these “gifts” come with a string attached (aside from the expected danger of trying to get them, I mean) - because the Gamemakers also intend for Katniss’s “gift” (medicine for Peeta) to force an even more cruel outcome on her - saving him from blood poisoning only to be forced into killing him herself... 🤔

I’m not sure if this is exactly medical protocol, but I’m terrified that if he drifts off he’ll never wake again. “Are you cold?” he asks. He unzips his jacket and I press against him as he fastens it around me. - Katniss is terrified of the idea of Peeta dying; at the same time, Peeta worries about her freezing - I can’t with these two 😩

Peeta begins to doze off now, and each time he does, I find myself yelling his name louder and louder because if he goes and dies on me now, I know I’ll go completely insane. He’s fighting it, probably more for me than for him - Katniss can’t lose any more people she cares about 😢; on a different note, Peeta fighting his unconsciousness “probably more for [Katniss] than for him” points out one of the crucial elements Katniss brings into Peeta’s life - she is that someone for whom he will fight - including for his own life and well-being - even when it feels easier to give up... Having that person in your life that keeps you going can make all the difference - if Katniss hadn’t had Prim and promised her “to really, really try” to win (and later also made Rue the same promise), I’m not sure she would have made it this far; it’s the thought of Prim anxiously watching her after Rue’s death, that forces Katniss to keep going, to not give in to despair after that particular traumatic event - Peeta, on the other hand, didn’t really have that kind of person in his life, as he will point out on the beach in CF (and Katniss acknowledges herself that the only person who will be devasted if Peeta dies is her)... that is not to say that neither Katniss nor Peeta aren’t fighters on their own - but it helps to have someone that inspires you to not give up

the adrenaline pumping through my body would never allow me to follow him, so I can’t let him go. I just can’t. - We’ll see the mirrored version of this by the end of Mockinjay 

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into [Cato’s] skull. - Another act of rebellion, technically (sure, this can be spun as Katniss killing Cato so she and Peeta may win - before Peeta dies from blood loss - but we know better - Katniss’s motivation was compassion for her supposed enemy)

We inch down to the tail of the horn and fall to the ground. If the stiffness in my limbs is this bad, how can Peeta even move? - Peeta is tough as nails, yo!

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart [...] I drop my weapons and take a step back, my face burning in what can only be shame. “No,” he says. “Do it.” [...] “I can’t,” I say, “I won’t.” - In spite of her initial reflex, Katniss chooses Peeta/ chooses not to kill him; it’s a recurring theme in their relationship (despite her wariness of others, she chooses to open up to Peeta eventually; although she vowed to never marry and have children, she’ll choose to have a family with Peeta); also, my psychology-brain just noticed how this moment illustrates how harmful thoughts/impulses don’t have to determine your actions and are not an indicator of who you are - it’s about what you choose to do

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” I say. Because if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really. I’ll spend the rest of my life in this areny trying to think my way out. - Again, makes me think of MJ; also, I think that from this point onwards, Katniss and Peeta are officially linked together forever; the bond they forged during this traumatic experience will connect them to each other until the day they die

“On the count of three?” Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says. - My heart😭

Chapter 26

... while our muscles are immobile, nothing is preventing the blood from draining out of Peeta’s leg. Sure enough, the minute the door closes behind us and the current stops, he slumps to the floor unconscious  [...] Through the glass, I see the doctors working feverishly on Peeta, their brows creased in concentration [...] I’m not sure, but I think his heart stops twice. - Peeta was in such a bad shape by the end of the Games; I’m still kinda salty that the movie really glossed over this fact :/

... they’re taking Peeta but leaving me behind the door. I start hurling myself against the glass, shrieking and I think I just catch a glimpse of pink hair - it must be Effie, it has to be Effie coming to my rescue - when the needle jabs me from behind. - Oh geez, in Catching Fire Katniss will also get sedated in a hovercraft because she’s upset about being separated from Peeta 😢 (also, Katniss thinking that Effie is coming to her rescue 😭)

While she [Lavinia, the avox] adjusts my pillows, I risk one question. I say it out loud, as clearly as my rusty voice will allow, so nothing will seem secretive. “Did Peeta make it?” She gives me a nod, and as she slips a spoon into my hand, I feel the pressure of friendship. - Katniss is so considerate of Lavinia’s situation, and Lavinia’s giving her a gesture of comfort and support; they’ve never been able to have a proper conversation (Katniss doesn’t even know Lavinia’s name), but still they managed to build up such a bond - compassion certainly is a strong thing to behold 😭 (and this whole scene is just through and through about compassion, with Katniss asking how Peeta is doing!)

Home! Prim and my mother! Gale! Even the thought of Prim’s scruffy old cat makes me smile. Soon I will be home! - Katniss is so excited to see her home and her loved ones again

I want to get out of this bed. To see Peeta and Cinna - Aww, the two people she grew closest to over the course of the past weeks (Haymitch will be added to that list in just a smidge)

Or do I hear a man’s voice yelling? Not in the Capitol accent, but in the rougher cadences of home. And I can’t help having a vague, comforting feeling that someone is looking out for me. - Thank God for Haymitch! 

And behind one of them [doors] must be Peeta. Now that I’m conscious and moving, I’m growing more and more anxious about him [...] “Peeta!” I call out, since there’s no one to ask - Katniss is sick with worry over Peeta; romantic feelings or not, she cares so fricking much for him by now!

I run for them [Effie, Haymitch, and Cinna] and surprise even myself when I launch into Haymitch’s arms first. When he whispers in my ear, “Nice job, sweetheart,” it doesn’t sound sarcastic. - These reunion scenes are so intense and heartwarming! And then Katniss asks about Portia and Peeta because their presence would make this scene complete 

when I asks for seconds, I’m refused. “No, no, no. They don’t want it all coming back up on the stage,” says Octavia, but she secretly slips me an extra roll under the table to let me know she’s on my side - It’s moments like these that help humanize Katniss’s prep team - they might be shallow, they might be completely oblivious and ignorant, but they aren’t that bad [of course, the prep team chattering about their mundane lives while talking about the event that ended with the deaths of 22 children shortly after, leaves a bad taste in our mouths]

I immediately notice the padding over my breasts, adding curves that hunger has stolen from my body. My hands go to my chest and I frown. “I know,” says Cinna before I can object. “But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise.” - God, the idea that the Gamemakers wanted to give a boob job to an unconscious, malnourished 16-year-old girl makes me sick 🤢 (Also, what’s the flipping deal about boobs?! As a pretty flat-chested gal, I’ve always been annoyed that there are barely any bras my cup size that are not push-up ones; I’m not self-conscious about it, so stop making me pretend that I’m bustier than I actually am!)

“I thought it’d be something more... sophisticated-looking,” I say. “I thought Peeta would like this better,” he [Cinna] answers carefully. Peeta? No, it’s not about Peeta. It’s about the Capitol and the Gamemakers and the audience. Although I do not yet understand Cinna’s design, it’s a reminder the Games are not quite finished. - Ugh, that sinking feeling when Katniss and the reader realize that the Games are still not over... Sidenote: Peeta flirted up a storm with grimy, bloodied Katniss and complimented her when she wore Cinna’s first, absolutely badass costume (”You should wear flames more often”)... Katniss’s girlish outfit  has nothing to do with Peeta and she knows it... Cinna could have dressed Katniss up in a trash bag and Peeta would have been smitten - although a trash bag by Cinna would probably still look pretty good ;)

“How about a hug for luck?” Okay, that’s an odd request from Haymitch but, after all we are victors. Maybe a hug for luck is in order. - Aww, Katniss actually wouldn’t have minded giving Haymitch a hug just because - sadly, this is about survival tips instead :/

But what was it Haymitch said when I asked it he had told Peeta the situation? That he had to pretend to be desperately in love? “Don’t have to. He’s already there.” Already thinking ahead of me in the Games again and well aware of the danger we’re in? Or... already desperately in love? I don’t know. I haven’t even begun to separate out my feelings about Peeta. It’s too complicated. - Poor Katniss... she didn’t have the time and peace of mind to sort out her feelings regarding Peeta before they all got tied up and muddled with her need for survival. Now she’ll be having an even harder time trying to untangle that mess :(

Chapter 27

Then there’s Peeta just a few yards away. He looks so clean and healthy and beautiful, I can hardly recognize him. But his smile is the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when I see it, I take about three steps and fling myself into his arms [...] He rights himself and we just cling to each other while the audience goes insane. He’s kissing me and all the time I’m thinking, Do you know? Do you know how much danger we’re in? After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taps on his choulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushes him aside without even glancing at him. - Man, their reunion here always gets me - it would be so fricking good if Katniss didn’t have to worry about their potential doom 😒😔 - she barely has time to just be happy to see Peeta alive and well before slipping back into survival mode while Peeta is just genuinely thrilled to have her in his arms, completely unaware of the pressure and immediate danger Katniss experiences in this moment... It hurts so bad

I’m with Katniss - How did the previous victors endure rewatching those horrible moments from the Games?! I guess because they had to, but oof... I think I’d just completely shut down, blocking out the footage shown, ugh

But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her [Rue] in flowers. Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion. - In such a callous and cruel place as Panem, any act of compassion can be regarded as rebellion, it’s crazy. In a place filled with apathy, hedonism, greed, and cruelty, the most radical things you can exhibit are love, kindness, and respect!

A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory, but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta’s name as they try to revive him. In terms of survival, it’s my best moment all night. - Again, another instance where Katniss’s genuine feelings/reactions to Peeta are get muddled with her need for survival

The one thing I never do is let go of Peeta’s hand. - irrevocably linked with each other

Despite Haymitch’s running interference, I’m determined to see Peeta privately. - Katniss just wants to have an honest and open talk with Peeta 😢 (I get where Haymitch is coming from, and maybe in this instance it’s the right call, but we’ll see a similar situation in the beginning of CF when Haymitch advises Katniss not to tell Peeta about President Snow’s visit and that time, it doesn’t go so well...)

Then Peeta’s there looking handsome in red and white - for someone who isn’t sure whether she’s into him or not, Katniss sure mentions how good Peeta’s looking a lot 😏

“Well, there’s just this and we go home. Then he can’t watch us all the time,” says Peeta. - 👀👀 Peeta is so thirsty here; reminds me of when he pulled Katniss close to him in the cave before they set out to hunt... He clearly believes she’s also “already there” regarding their relationship; he’s never this “suggestive” (can’t think of a better word right now) with her once she lets him know that she doesn’t really know how she feels about him - I feel a sort of shiver run through me and there’s no time to analyze why - Katniss totally isn’t averse to what Peeta’s suggesting here, either (though there’s probably also a healthy amount of fear mixed in with the thrill of being wanted - letting people in can be terrifying)

I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?” I turn in to him. “Put you somewhere you can’t get hurt.” And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh. - It’s me; I’m people 🙋🏼‍♀️ (also, the “turn in to him”?!?!! it just suggests such a closeness, I can’t-)

Katniss burying her face in Peeta’s shirt when she’s afraid she might cry learning that he lost his leg 🥺 (how awful it must be to be constantly on display while you’re dealing with your private feelings, ugh)

“... The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind... hm?” [...] It seems to call for a big, dramatic speech, but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentences. “I don’t know, I just... couldn’t bear the thought of... being without him.” - It might not be a super eloquent way to put what she was supposed to say, but this way, Katniss is being perfectly honest (and frankly, if she’d had the chance to properly process her feelings, she would have been able to voice this sentiment with less hesitation)

I go back to my room to collect a few things and find there’s nothing to take but the mockingjay pin Madge gave me. Someone returned it to my room after the Games. - For one, Katniss didn’t think of that pin (again), but also - was the pin returned to her simply because it’s standard procedure or did someone (like Plutarch, for example) arrange for Katniss to get the pin back, to keep her connection to this symbol going?

I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not. - Poor Katniss! She’s been through so much, experienced so many traumatic events in short succession recently (aside from the trauma she already had), already had problems defining her identity beyond sheer survival, and now the Capitol also keeps pushing an identity onto her and a romantic relationship, when she hadn’t even had the chance to figure out how she felt about that yet

“... Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn’t make it worse,” I say. “Coaching you? But not me,” says Peeta. “He knew you were smart enough to get it right,” I say. “I didn’t know there was anything to get right,” says Peeta. - Oh boy. It’s always so painful to see Peeta realize that he’s been completely out of the loop; again, we’ll see how Katniss and Haymitch adopt a similar strategy in the beginning of CF: banking on Peeta’s good social skills and eloquence and keeping him in the dark. In a way, it’s a sort of compliment they pay to Peeta for being good with people, but, by not telling him, they are also using him for their purpose (which is motivated by caring for and wanting to protect Peeta, but still). Peeta is right to be upset about it - he has always been very clear about not wanting to be used as a piece in anyone’s games, really. And, as we will see later in CF, they are way more effective as a team when they are open and honest with each other.

“It was all for the Games,” Peeta says. “How you acted.” “Not all of it,” I say, tightly holding on to my flowers. “Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what’s going to be left when we get home?” he says. “I don’t know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get,” I say. He waits, for further explanation, but none’s forthcoming. “Well, let me know when you work it out,” he says, and the pain in his voice is palpable. - It’s just so goddamn painful😢 They’ve both been done so dirty by that forced star-crossed lovers of Distrct 12 routine. (Sidenote: I appreciate that Peeta actually gives Katniss the chance to explain herself here - still, it’s too much to deal with on the spot so I can understand why Katniss ended up dropping the ball, even though it’s frustrating to read.)

That it’s not good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’d just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after what we’ve just been through? - Oh Katniss, you certainly are skipping a couple of steps here; I’m pretty sure there are some options in between dating and being married with kids you could look into. Also, she’s just assuming that this is what Peeta wants, but she doesn’t know that at all - As someone who also has this stupid habit of imagining how whole conversations could possibly transpire and then resigning myself to the hypothetical outcome of said imagined conversation instead of actually having them: Don’t do that. ‘Never assume - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.’ 

I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’ t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me. I take his hand, holding it tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go. - Ma babies! They are both so hurt and both just want to be with each other 😭 But they’ll need some time apart, to figure things out before they can do that.

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess Of All Saiyans

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Masterlist

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Hey guys! Chapter nine is here. And this one is a fun one. As always, I hope you enjoy. And if you have any comments or questions regarding this fic, feel free to let me know.

Also if you've been following this story for a while, then you'd know how inconsistent I am when I post chapters of this story. Sometimes it takes me two weeks to write another chapter, and other times it takes me an entire month. So if you're interested in being notified whenever I post a new chapter, you can join my tag list here.

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Chapter 9

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Vegeta and Raditz land simultaneously, both Saiyans carefully observing their surroundings. All of the Dragon Balls have remained in place, but that provides very little relief. There isn't a trace of your presence, not a footprint, not even a stray hair. "Y/N!" Raditz shouts at the top of his lungs. This was a severe mistake on his part. For his own sake, Raditz better hope the Ginyu force hasn't heard all of his commotion.

Vegeta paces back and forth, his hands knotted through his hair. "Relax, Vegeta. She couldn't have gotten far." Despite Raditz's calm words, his tone gives him away completely. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he's just as anxious as Vegeta. 

Raditz's advice doesn't seem to calm down the prince even a little. In fact, he only seems to grow more distraught. "Raditz, you don't understand. I never disclosed the location of the Dragon Balls to her."

Raditz furrows his brows at the smaller Saiyan. "What the hell, Vegeta!" Never in his wildest dreams did Raditz ever imagine himself shouting at the prince. He didn't even notice that Gohan and Krillin had joined them. Hopefully, they've picked up bits and pieces of the conversation because neither Saiyan has the patience to deal with their idiocy at the moment. "Just--- What the fuck were you thinking?" Raditz doesn't understand. How can Vegeta go from ordering someone to stay glued to your side at all times to leaving you to fend for yourself on a foreign planet? It's only been a few weeks. How can he have gone through such a drastic change in such a short amount of time?

"If I knew the Ginyu Force was coming, do you think I would've left her alone!" Their bickering is doing nothing to help. In fact, it's probably making the situation worse.

"Alright. How about you both calm down." Krillin decides to jump in and play peacemaker. "Y/N seems more than capable of taking care of herself. We need to focus on the threat. We need to get this over with and summon the dragon before something bad happens."

Both Saiyans turn to the smaller earthling, glaring daggers at him. "Who gives a damn about immortality right now! You don't know the first thing about my sister! So don't stand there all high and mighty and act like you do." Krillin hit a nerve, but it wasn't just in Vegeta. 

The earthling wants to revive his friends, but there is something he doesn't understand about Raditz. You've been the faint speck of light in his otherwise shitty world, the only friend the Saiyan has ever had. Even though he stood with his brother, you're still a priority over the resurrection of a handful of puny earthlings. 

"Interesting to see where your priorities lie, Geta!" Your legs have been sticking out of your handcrafted shelter the entire time. It's funny to see what details people miss while they're in a state of panic. You lean forward, revealing yourself to the abnormal group. Now your entire body hangs off the mountain.

Four sets of eyes look up at you, all with varying responses present on their features. "Oh, thank god," Vegeta whispers, at an octave low enough only for him to hear. Raditz places a hand on his chest, sighing in relief as Vegeta's features contort in displeasure. "What did I tell you about pulling shit like this? Get your ass down here!"

You jump down, landing in front of the Dragon Balls. This ensures that you maintain a safe distance away from your brother just in case he decides to kill you. "Don't get your panties in a twist."

Vegeta's nostrils flare, complemented with his entire body shaking with rage. "You scared me half to death." You expected a lecture, but he's not even raising his voice. You may have freaked him out more than you originally intended.

Your lips curve upwards. "That sounds like a you problem, big brother." Something is particularly satisfying about throwing his own words in his face.

"I suppose I deserved that." His features soften. "I'm just relieved that you're alright."

Raditz walks over to you, slinging an arm around your shoulders. "Well, what did I do to deserve that scare?" 

"Collateral damage Raditz. Call it a happy accident."

"Enough of the chit-chat. Now let's---" Vegeta cuts himself off as you all lookup. You can sense the Ginyu Force, and they're heading straight for you. You grab Raditz, pulling him into the homemade cave. The others were facing the Dragon Balls. There would've been no time for them to get up here as well. Your higher altitude could be used to your advantage since you'll have the element of surprise. 

It's a bit cramped, but when you created the cave. You never expected to share the space with a Saiyan of Raditz's size. He takes up more space than you and Vegeta combined. You both watch the Ginyu Force land in front of a trembling Gohan, a frozen Krillin, and an aloof Vegeta. You really hope the Genius Force doesn't do those god-awful poses. You've already been traumatized enough for the week.

You decide to keep a close eye on Captain Ginyu, who is currently exchanging pleasantries with your brother. Well, as pleasant as it can get for two beings who are about to murder each other in cold blood. Followed by murmurings from various members of the Ginyu Force and Recoome's delayed laughter. "Just hand over the Dragon Balls, Vegeta. No need to make this any harder than it has to be." Vegeta's posture remains stiff. It's clear your brother isn't going to budge. Their little group is going to have to pry that orb from his dead body. "Come on, Vegeta, be a sport. We already have five." He gestures to the spheres behind him. That means Frieza will have five. Can you really trust those neanderthals to hold onto their Dragon Balls? No, you were raised to trust no one's capabilities but your own, not even Vegeta's. 

Jeice looks around, his green eyes scanning around the area. "Where's that gorgeous sister of yours, Vegeta?"

Vegeta glares at the red man. "Even if my sister was here. I doubt she'd be interested, Jeice. I mean, she never has been." Oh, your brother knows all about your history with the mutant Brench-seijin. He's overly flirty, and you reject him. It was a vicious never-ending cycle. If Vegeta had no self-control, he would've murdered him years ago for even looking in your direction. In his eyes, Jeice is unworthy of a woman of your status.

"Well, with Raditz out of the picture, there's no chance for Saiyan offspring. So I figured I'd shoot my shot." You cringe. You're not sure which idea is more repulsive, a relationship with Jeice or procreating with Raditz.

"Even if you were the last man in the universe. My sister wouldn't so much as glance in your direction." Vegeta and Jeice continue going back and forth as an idea pops in your head. This may be your only opportunity to get your hands on a Dragon Ball. You're only chance to put a fork in Frieza's plans for immortality. 

You silently climb out of the cave, dropping to the ground. The others can unmistakably see you, but they make no expressions alerting the Ginyu Force of your presence. You grab the closest orb before promptly flying back to the cave. Call this your insurance policy for when Krillin and Vegeta ultimately screw up. You escaped that entirely undetected. Is the term elite just thrown around loosely in the Frieza Force? Because that's what you're starting to think.

You hand the Dragon Ball to Raditz, directing your gaze back outside. "Those scouters of yours can't detect Dragon Balls, can they?" It was a rhetorical question. Vegeta knows they don't have that type of technology yet. You know how your brother thinks, and this is a faulty plan on his part. "Then you lose!" Vegeta pivots, launching the ball at an alarming speed. It would be a fatal blow to the head if it hit someone. 

Burter takes off, chasing after the orb. He flips in the air, catching the ball with ease. You swear, Vegeta can be such a dumbass sometimes. He knows Burter rivals you in speed. He may even be a bit faster than you.  

You shake your head, turning to Raditz, lowering your voice to a whisper. "Here's the plan. When I formulate a distraction, you're going to take the Dragon Ball and get the hell out of here. And Raditz, go hide the damn thing, somewhere no one will find it." He grins from ear to ear, causing you to glare at him. You know how this moron thinks by now. "And do not hide it with that Earth woman. That will just get her killed."

"What if that's my intention?"

"I don't think little brother Kakarot would be very pleased with you, but it's your call." You stand in silence for a moment, your piercing gaze lingering on the Saiyan. "Though, I can assure you. If Frieza gets his hands on that Dragon Ball. I'll kill you. In the most graphic and painful way, I can imagine." He gulps nervously, rapidly shaking his head in understanding. To Raditz, you're the only life form that can still sound menacing while whispering. 

You revert your vision back to the little gathering outside. And as you assumed, Krillin lost his Dragon Ball as well. Ginyu decides to take Vegeta for himself, which doesn't go over well with his team. They're acting like a bunch of children. It's almost comical. "Fine." The Captain sighs. "I'll take the Dragon Balls back to Lord Frieza. You all can sort this out amongst yourselves." They chant Ginyu's name a few times. They kinda remind you of a cult.

The four lower members of the Ginyu force move to stand in a circle. "So the winner gets Vegeta. And for second place---" Guldo is cut off by Recoome.

"The rest. Make the two runts a set. Together they'll be more equal to Vegeta." Oh, that can't be going over well with your brother. The fact that Recoome would declare that those two are his equals must be sending his blood pressure through the roof. 

They begin playing rock paper scissors. This must be how they decide their battles. It's like a game to them. Every single match ends in a draw. At this rate, you could be stuck up here forever. 

You doze off until you hear Recoome cheering. The endless match must have finally ceased. "Ya! I get Vegeta!" Fate can be an amusing thing sometimes. Vegeta must be ecstatic, getting to show the moron just how much stronger he is than those pathetic runts. 

"Of course, I'm stuck with the runts." Guldo wines. He's the last creature who should be referring to anyone as a runt. You could squash that little freak like a bug.

Ginyu approaches the Dragon Balls, picking them up with his telekinesis. He counts them before snapping his head toward the dumbest member of the Ginyu Force. "Recoome! There's only four here!"

Recoome scratches the back of his neck, that classic confused look on his face. "I'm sorry, Captain Ginyu. I thought I counted five."

Jeice turns to his superior. "I told you we shouldn't have trusted him with counting the Dragon Balls."

The Captain takes a deep breath, attempting to keep his composure. "It doesn't matter. I'll search for the missing Dragon Ball. It's probably with Y/N anyway." He takes off, heading in the direction of Frieza's ship. Well, that takes out your major concern. The others are child's play compared to Ginyu.

You pay minimum attention to Guldo's battle with Krillin and Gohan. You're more focused on finding an opening for a distraction. You begin to notice significant holes in their fight. Guldo will be in one area and then magically appear in another, and he's not teleporting. If he was, you would've been able to track his movements. Could the rumors about that green freak be true? Can he really pause time? They must be. That's the only feasible explanation. So under the assumption that Guldo can stop time, the earthlings don't even stand a chance. No matter what they do, that four-eyed freak will always remain one step ahead of them. 

You do, however, pick up on something. Guldo appears to hold his breath before every skip in time. That must be a limitation in his abilities to pause time. So if those two can somehow prevent him from holding his breath, they should be able to best him. You know what, scratch that. Those two probably haven't picked up on his abnormal behaviors.

Though, the earthlings do appear to have the advantage at the moment. And the rest of the Ginyu Force won't let Guldo forget it. They're heckling him so loud that you can hear them clearly from all the way up here. Guldo's kinda like the Raditz of the group, just a lot less respected. 

Guldo tosses the pair up into the air as a strange yellow light surrounds them. He's claiming it's a paralysis attack. That doesn't sound good for the earthlings. 

Krillin and Gohan struggle almost as if they were trapped in invisible bindings. As far as you can tell, they're immobile. If Guldo felt the need to resort to such dire tactics, he must think that he can't take out the pair any other way. So when the earthling and the half-breed combine their strength, they're mightier than Guldo. That's quite impressive considering how weak they were back on Earth.

"Now I'm gonna show you what happens when you embarrass me in front of the boys." You clench your fists, your nails digging into your palms, as you watch Guldo intently. As much as you hate to admit it, you're going to need those two runts. So if Guldo were to kill them, it would be very unfavorable. He uses another mind trick to pull a tree from the ground, using the bottom end as a makeshift spear. He points the weapon at the pair, taunting them. He's gonna impale them with a fucking stick. What a pathetic way to go.

You do wonder why Vegeta hasn't intervened yet. He's never played by their rules before. So what's stopping him now? Your brother may simply believe that Gohan and Krillin deserve to die. For not adhering to his warning regarding the weakest link of the Ginyu Force. It's not below Vegeta to be that petty. You can't blame him though, those two fools have no sense of self-control.

The slimy green creature's obnoxious cackling invades your ears. Honestly, Guldo's just pissing you off more than he was before.

Amidst the chaos, you jump out of the cave, flying a bit to distance yourself from suspicion. You shoot a purple beam at Guldo, efficiently decapitating him. Raditz seems to have gotten the message since he checked out with the Dragon Ball sometime during the commotion. He better hide that thing somewhere safe because his life depends on it.

"Did you really think I'd let a creature as pathetic as Guldo kill anything with a drop of Saiyan blood!" Your voice booms causing all eyes to land on you. You place a hand on your chest, fixating your gaze on the Ginyu Force. "I'm hurt that you didn't include me in your little game."

"Oh, our apologies Y/N." Jeice's thick accent invades your ears. "We should have assumed. Wherever Vegeta is, you're always somewhere nearby."

You swear you can hear faint grumbling. You just can't quite locate the source. Your eyes scan over the ground until you discover the origin of the sound. Long story short, it was Guldo's severed head. So his species can survive decapitation, good to know. "Defeated by a damn Saiyan. And the weaker one at that." You could run circles around that little freak. If you went head to head, he wouldn't even be considered a challenge. Guldo's giving himself far too much credit.

Vegeta chuckles darkly. "Well, don't worry." He strides over to the talking head. "You won't have to deal with that shame for long." Vegeta finishes the job, eliminating that embarrassment of the group of supposed elite warriors. 

The three remaining members complain about Guldo's demise, but it's not for the reason you may think. They're more upset about the impact his absence will have on their ridiculous pose. You wish you could say you were surprised, but you've known those idiots far too long to believe anything else.

The half-breed and earthling walk over to you, identical expressions of gratitude apparent on their faces. "We owe you one, Y/N." You roll your eyes at Krillin. It was a simple business decision. And it was nothing more than that. 

Gohan nods in agreement. "Ya, thanks." You cringe at his gratitude. Why are they thanking you? You killed Guldo for your own selfish reasons.

"Your lives had nothing to do with it." Well, at least Krillin's. If Guldo did kill the half-breed, it would've been an embarrassment to your entire race in hell. "I needed a distraction. I saw an opportunity."

"She's right, so pull yourselves together. Your lives are incredibly insignificant to us." Vegeta's lying. Your brother knows you need them. He's just far too prideful to admit it.

Burter turns to Jeice, morphing his hands to prepare for another excruciating match of rock paper scissors. "Alright, Jeice. Winner gets the Princess, and the loser gets stuck with the two runts."

Jeice shakes his head. "No, Y/N's all yours." He turns to you, his green eyes meeting your own. "I could never lay a hand on a lady as fine as the Princess." You suppress a gag, deciding to keep your mouth shut. If you were to respond, there's a good chance you could end up fighting both of them.

Burter furrows his brows at his comrade. "Are you sure?"

"Ya, go crazy, Burter." It's actually a reasonable match-up. You and Burter both have incredible speed. I guess you'll finally find out who's faster.

Now with Guldo out of the picture, it's Recoome's turn to fight Vegeta. He reminds you a bit of Nappa. Since he lacks any form of self-control. His punches at your brother are erratic. He even almost hits you, Krillin, and Gohan several times. If Recoome were to hit Krillin with that kind of force, there's no doubt in your mind that it would be a fatal blow.

"Don't go killin them all yourself!" Jeice is second in command to Ginyu, so his authority over Recoome makes sense. "I get the two runts, and Burter get's the Princess of the monkeys." One minute Jeice is flirting with you. The next, he's demeaning you. Talk about mixed signals.

You watch Recoome and Vegeta trade punches, and it's starting to lack any value of entertainment. Vegeta's covered in blood while Recoome's armor is chipped, and he's now missing tufts of hair.

You begin to grow impatient. This will be the first time you've been challenged in a while. "Yo, Burter! Let's just get this over with now. We'll make this battle a double feature." 

"Fine with me." The two of you distance yourselves from Recoome and Vegeta, commencing your battle as well.

Their gazes flicker back and forth between both battles. They were so enthralled in the action that neither Gohan nor Krillin noticed that Raditz had joined them. 

Gohan and Krillin stick to the sidelines. They're in no hurry to fight Jeice. Even though he's significantly smaller than Recoome and Burter, Krillin doesn't think Jeice's smaller size will give them any sort of advantage. 

"Raditz?" Jeice looks far from pleased. He's always been jealous of the Saiyan. Not for his strength, rather the envy stems from Raditz's luscious mane of hair. It took Jeice several years to grow his hair to an adequate length, while that fool was born with that full head of hair. Raditz meets his gaze, an arrogant smirk overtaking his features. As he waves at the green-eyed man mockingly. "But--- Y/N said you ran off!"

Mid-battle, you turn to Jeice. Without even looking, you still manage to keep up with Burter. "I'm a compulsive liar, Jeice! It's a nasty habit."

Jeice huffs, crossing his arms at the largest Saiyan. "Raditz is mine. I'm throwing him in with the two runts." A chuckle escapes your lips. He's underestimating what the three of them could accomplish together. Jeice is letting his own petty feelings cloud his judgment. How arrogant.

Krillin's brows furrow as his eyes linger on you. There's something that isn't quite adding up. He turns to Raditz and Gohan, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Hey, guys. I've been thinking about something. Remember back on Earth how Vegeta said that Saiyans get stronger after battle. Well, Vegeta's gotten stronger after several fights, but do you see Y/N? She's still able to effortlessly keep up. Even though she's barely lifted a finger. How is that possible?" The earthling's eyes widen as the gears begin to shift in his head. "Unless. Is she stronger---"

Raditz's hand covers Krillin's mouth, lowering his voice to a deadly whisper. "Silence, you earthling. Keep that big mouth of yours shut."

Krillin's teeth sink into his captor's hand, successfully freeing himself from the Saiyan's clutches. Several muffled phrases of obscenity escape Raditz's lips as he rapidly shakes his hand in an attempt to soothe the pain. "She is. Isn't she?" The look on Raditz's face told Krillin all he needed to know. "But you knew that already, and I bet you know why too. I wonder how Vegeta would feel about this?" His last sentence was clearly a passive-aggressive threat toward both you and Raditz. The earthling wouldn't be dumb enough to follow through with that threat, would he?

Raditz scowls at Krillin. How dare this pathetic little weasel attempt to threaten him. "Not a word to Vegeta. If you value your life. I'd stop talking now. Vegeta doesn't know, and it would be very unfavorable if he found out, for all of us." His tone shifts, his eyes flashing with vulnerability. "Something bad happened to us as children, and Vegeta still doesn't know about it." He returns to his menacing demeanor, your shared childhood trauma getting pushed to the back of his mind becoming yet again a distant memory. "So you will stop your absurd thoughts now. Or I can assure you. The second you resurrect your feeble friends, I will single-handedly slaughter them, and then you will follow." Krillin gulps, nodding in fear. He better pray Vegeta heard none of their conversations because he has a feeling Raditz will stick to his word.

Raditz thinks he knows all your secrets, but he's only aware of the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface lies pain and suffering the older Saiyan could never imagine from you. You keep these secrets to protect him, to protect Vegeta, and most importantly, to protect yourself. But if either of them were to find out the truth, your life as you know it would come crashing down. If they were to find out your greatest shame, your pride would be in shambles, and they would know the truth. You're just a weak Saiyan who's an embarrassment to her family name.

You're not exactly sure how much time has passed. You've completely blocked out the entirety of your surroundings, remaining focused on your battle with Burter. You can't joke around as you did back on Earth. There's no room for error today.

The two of you take turns beating the absolute hell out of each other. If you keep this up, there will be no end to this anytime soon. You shriek, spiking up your energy substantially. Burter's eyes bug out as his scouter explodes. Those pieces of junk are really no match to this energy-sensing technique. 

Even though you've blocked out your surroundings, you know the two of you have moved a significant distance away from the others. You could even be on the other side of the planet by now. In the back of your mind, you can't help but worry about your brother especially, now that you're so far away. Recoome may be an idiot, but he's a strong one. You have to remain focused. You can't help Vegeta if you don't help yourself first.

You begin to get the edge over Burter. Now he's attempting to block your attacks, but due to his large size, he's failing horribly. A couple more blows, and you'll finally be able to knock him down. You've taken down guys much larger than Burter, creatures who were triple his size. 

Over the years, you've learned to use your smaller size to your advantage. Making your opponent's sheer size more of a nuisance than a strength. Burter begins to struggle further. He's now barely able to keep up with you. "I'm the fastest being in the universe! How can one of you monkeys be faster than me?" You scowl at him, finding no humor in his statement as rage boils inside of you. 

Unknown to you, you and Burter aren't alone. Goku has been watching your battle in awe for quite some time now. He knows he should've left to find the others, but he just couldn't help it. He can't take his eyes off of you. This is the first time he's seen you fight, and you're much stronger than the Earthbound Saiyan believed.

Your fists clench as your entire body convulses in rage. It's not often you'll lose your temper like this. Goku swears that he saw your irises flash a shade of red. He rubs his eyes, glancing back at you. Your eyes have returned to normal. Maybe Goku is just seeing things. If you knew someone was watching, you would've kept your temper in check. 

Burter sends a blast of your energy your way. Which you dodge by teleporting behind him. You use all of your body weight to knock him down to the ground. You won't mock him like you typically do after defeating a foe. You won't take the chance of giving him an opening to strike back. In the palm of your hand, you create an orb of energy, disintegrating his head. Successfully, taking out your second member of the great Ginyu Force.

You fall to your knees, desperately gasping for air, before grabbing your side, wincing in excruciating pain. Damn, Burter must have nicked you good. You look to your side, noticing just how much blood has leaked through your armor. This is gonna be an issue, though you've fought through worse. You stand back up to check your body for any further damage. There seems to be no other physical damage to your form. Your armor is a bit ripped, though. 

"Wow! You're really strong." You gasp, moving your fist, aiming it at whoever is in front of you. They swiftly catch your fist, preventing you from attacking. Their grip is secure enough to stop you from escaping, yet at the same time pleasantly gentle.

You move your gaze upwards, finally gathering the courage to look them in the eye. Your brows furrow as Goku's dumb face enters your field of vision. "God, Kakarot! When the hell did you get here?" You shake yourself out of his grasp, taking a few steps back, putting some distance between you two.

"A while ago." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "I got distracted by your fight." So he was observing you the whole time. Why does that make you feel incredibly self-conscious?

"Of course you did." You sigh, moving several strands of hair out of your face. Goku steps closer to you, bringing his hand to meet your forehead. It's so big that it takes up the entirety of your forehead and even the top of your head. "Kakarot. What the hell are you doing?"

"Just be quiet for a second." It's official. Goku has lost what was left of his mind. "So it is true. You guys are working together. And that Frieza guy is a much bigger deal than I thought." How does he know about all of that? And why is he still touching you?

You slap his arm, convincing him to remove his hand. "And why's that?"

"Because you're afraid of him."

Your face flushes. "I'm not scared of Frieza. I'm not afraid of anything." Your cross your arm, averting his gaze.

"Yes, you are." He pouts. "I saw it." Kakarot saw it? How the hell--- Did Kakarot acquire the ability to read thoughts? Is that even possible?

You decide to divert his mind from his accusations. Knowing Kakaort, that shouldn't be hard at all. "Since when can you read minds?"

He rubs his chin, lost deep in thought. "I don't know--- I just had a feeling."

"Well, let's go. And new rule." You bring your hand up, pointing your index finger at the buffoon. "Stay out of my thoughts!"

He holds up his hands in surrender, nodding. "Are we gonna go find that Captain Ginyu guy?"

"No. We have to go make sure that Recoome and Jeice haven't killed the others first. Don't bite off more than you can chew." Goku has this aura around him. You can tell he's gotten stronger. He just needs to learn how to get his priorities in order.

Okay. All you have to do is pin down someone's energy. There are at least four sources to choose from, so this should be fairly simple. You shut your eyes. This should help you concentrate adequately. 

"Ohh, what's that?"

Your head snaps toward Goku. "What?" You swear the man has an attention span equivalent of an insect.

He bends down, observing the ground intently. "It's like a green string."

"A green--- Kakarot! Don't!" But you were too late. He's already yanked the tripwire.

The ground concaves beneath you, causing you to lose your footing as the two of you fall down into the pit. You fall on top of Goku. Unintentionally straddling the Saiyan. And if you thought this situation couldn't get any more awkward, you'd be wrong. Goku's arms are wrapped securely around your waist, holding you in place. Your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. And your face feels like it's been set aflame. As your eyes lock, your face only turns a deeper shade of crimson. "D-Don't touch me!" You're stuttering. What the hell is happening to you?

His brows furrow. "You're the one who fell on top of me!"

"It's not my fault." His classic pout spreads across his lips. "How was I supposed to know that the ground would collapse?" 

"W-Well, you're the reason we're in this mess!" You stand up, wanting to get as far away from Goku as possible. You don't like the way you feel around him. The only time your pulse should be racing like this is during combat.

"Well, it wouldn't be called a trap if you could see it!"

"I don't get why you're so mad. Can't we just fly out?"

You snicker as your lips curve upward. "Give it a shot, Kakarot." You know it won't work, but at least his failures will provide you with some quality entertainment. It would be a pretty pathetic trap if you could simply fly out. Goku flies up, slamming his head on the invisible barrier. You break out into a fit of laughter as he falls back down. Goku jumps back up, rubbing the back of his head. "Ouch. Did you know that would happen?" Your giggling dies down as Goku begins looking around the hole. "How did this place even get here? Is this Frieza's work?"

"No. It's definitely the work of the Namekians. Frieza wouldn't be able to formulate something so elaborate in the amount of time he's had. Besides that dictator never does any of his own dirty work."

"Well, let's just sit back and relax. I'm sure we'll be fine. Someone will have to find us eventually." He has such a laid-back attitude. Maybe another alien baby crash-landed on Earth. Because with every second that passes, you're finding it harder to believe that Goku has Saiyan ancestry. 

"Oh, ya, let's just relax." You mock him. "While the others are probably getting chopped up into little pieces by the remnants of the Ginyu Force as we speak!"

"Why are you always so negative?" Is he serious? Do you have to spell out why this is potentially a very dire situation? You'd think he would show more concern for his son.

Your hands meet the sides of your head. You're practically yanking your hair out at this point. To say you're frustrated would be an understatement. "God, why am I constantly getting trapped in enclosed spaces with your idiotic bloodline! First, it was your spawn, then it was your moronic brother, and now I'm stuck with you. And you're somehow the worst of them all!" Goku just stands in front of you like a statue with that goofy smile plastered on his face. "And stop smiling when I yell at you!" 

Being stuck down here with Kakarot will be the ultimate test of your willpower----

-

Will the others make it to Y/N and Goku in time? Or will Y/N kill Goku before they even get the chance? Find out in the next chapter of The Princess of All Saiyans!

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Parabatai bond  Essay... Why they may all be destined to end

Parabatai: defined by Cassandra Clare as a rare intense where a pare of warriors connect/bond in childhood and then decide to knit their souls together so that they can always stay together and always carry a piece of the other inside them. Defined by the fandom as “ a type of (supposedly) platonic marriage”. Cassandra Clare also wants to claim it as a type of bond that is unique to the shadow world, but honestly I can name several pair of Parabatai all across different media’s. Just looking at early 2000′s children's anime and Disney esqu movies we have Ash/Pikachu, Yugi Muto/the Pharaoh, Hiccup/Toothless, Woody/Buzz, etc...

... If you share my taste in these media’s you probably noticed that of the 4 other series “Parabatai” I listed 3 out of 4 (Ash and Pikachu are still partners right?) have to split off from the other due to changes of destiny/life. This is also the case for man,y many parabatai in The Shadowhunter Chronicles. Sounding off pairs that are important enough for me to care about underneath

Jonathan Shadowhunter/David the Silent: Let’s began at the beginning. Jonathan Shadowhunter was the first ever Shadowhunter. His favorite person in the world was his companion David, who wasn’t as much of a fighter as Jonathan but was very smart and very good at keeping Jonathan grounded when necessary. After being traumatized by a greater demon when fighting alone one da, David gave up fighting (and speaking), and became the first ever silent brother. The story said this broke their bond and broke Jonathan down to tears. I am sure David still loved him though. David could have chosen to go back to being a mundane but instead chose to undergo the rituals to turn himself into a silent brother. David was never that into fighting/war. Everything he did he did out of love for Johnathan. When David was no longer able to be there for Jonathan as a solider, he found a new way as a Silent Brother.

Robert Lightwood/ Michael Wayland: Parabatai and joined at the hip as teenagers. When Michael confessed to having romantic feelings towards Robert confusion as to his own feelings and fears surrounded by change drove Robert to reject Michael in a cruel and harsh way. Their bond is officially severed after the uprising when Michael die,s and Robert is exiled. Decades later Robert still regards hurting Michael as the biggest mistake in his life, the persist moment when he lost faith in himself. It is only after he confesses to his oldest child what he did and how it still haunts him all these years, only after he is finally able to acknowledge within himself the importance of the memories he has of Michael, that Robert is able to finally turn his life around for the better.

Valentine Morgenstern/ Lucian Greymark: Parabatai while studying at the academy, and for a few years afterwards. When Luke started to doubt Valentine’s plans, Valentine took him to be ambushed by a pack of feral werewolves hoping Luke would be killed instead Luke was turned. After this Valentine and Luke became bitter enemy's. These two men who once had so much love for the other, now swore to destroy any plan the other had and would fight with the intent to kill upon seeing he other. Despite all this bad blood, both still loved the memories of who the other used to be, and it is implied that a lot of their hatred for who the other is now is born from grief over they Parabatai they lost.

William Herondale/James Carstairs: CC’s closest Parabatai pair. Both Will and Jem had their whole lives shattered by demons when they were just children, and afterwards questioned at times if it was still really had much of a reason to carry on. Then they met each other and decided that they had to carry on because they loved the other to much to leave them alone. These two are in a way echo’s of Jonathan and David, and like David Jem joins the brotherhood when it is no longer possible for him to stay with Will and Tessa as a shadowhunter. They lose the bonds, but keep their love for each other. Will calls silent city on a daily basis with some excuse for needing Brother Zachariah, and Jem faithfully answers every call.

Julian Backthorn/Emma Carstairs: Fall in love, turn into Giant “true Shadowhunters”. Their bond is severed when their runes are burned off by heavenly fire coursing though their veins. By this time though their relationship had already changed from a platonic one to a romantic one.

James Herondale/ Matthew Fairchild: The two that unquestionably love each other, but do not always love the others choices. As Parabatai they try to reach out to the other and help them. But both boys deal with so much and have trouble recognizing/excepting help when it when offered. Matthew is more aware of James issues than James is of Mathews, All though by the end of Chain of Iron even Matthew is at lose to understand James. James for his part only just starts to realize how sick Matthew may be. There are a lot of theories floating around that Matthew may being to sick to function as/ protect himself as a shadowhunter. With so much to recover from will their Parabatai bond last, or are they destined to seperate?

Cordelia Carstairs/ Lucie Herondale: The will they-won’t they pair. They have planed o one day become Parabatai since they were little girls, but have never gotten around to it. They are both nearly adults now and the story already seems to be puling them in opposite direction, so a lot of people now doubt that they will even make it to the ceremony. 

Jace Herondale/ Alexander Lightwood: CC’ first pair of Parabatai, and so far the only pair to keep their bond for the whole series. Like seriously even when Jace died, he came back with the bond intact and Alec reporting that he only felt a little off for a few minutes. CC’s newest reasoning behind that is that there is apparently a delay time between one parabatai dying and the bond severing, and Jace came back before his and Alec’s had time to do more than fray at the edges. So that means that our boys stayed tethered together even when Jace was on his way to the afterlife. WOW (keep this reason CC, it actually kinda works). Jace and Alec’s bond has lasted the longest, but we still have 4 more books where something bad can happen to one of them, and they are now fighting in 2 wars at once.

Clary Fairchild/ SImon Lovelace: became Parabatai in between series, after both failing as a couple, and Simon going through multiple species changes. They are still parabatai in the most recent book but, like with Jace and Alec, we still have 4 future books that could change in. Clary, Jace, and Simon are CC’s three original main characters. She claims that the plan is to wrap up the Shadowhunter Chronicles for good in The Wicked Powers. What is the likelihood that she will leave all three of her original mains alive. I mean Clary already had a vision where “a version of herself” died, and Simon was originally supposed to die in COHF, but CC’s friends begged her to let him live.

 While CC claims that Parabatai are rare in her universe, what seems to actually be rare is Parabatai staying bonded throughout the pairs lives. Why is that? Well lets remember that one of the rules for Parabatai is that they must meet and be bonded during childhood, Once they become adults they are no longer eligible. A fact of growing up is that lives and people change: We make friends, we love our friends,are there for them while we can be, and yet sometimes as we grow friends part ways. People die, they move away, or just grow apart. Memories of old friends and places we all used to hang out become beloved memories of being younger. During a time in our lives when we felt more innocent and care free. A time that sadly never lasts. In conclusion to why parabatai bonds tend to break parabatai could represent the close bonds of childhood, the friends who helped you grow into an adult, and some one who you are able to treasure your memories of as an adult, even if, due to circumstance, you no longer see that person as much or at all. Value your parabatai because you don’t know how long you will actually have them

[ahiddenpath]

Chatter

Life/writing/camp digimonth chatter beneath the cut.

Highlight: I’m planning to launch Puits d’Amour in February 2022!

Writing

Puits d’Amour is...  It started out as a simple, indulgent romantic AU situation.  But when I ran out of outline around 25k of 50k during Nanowrimo 2021, it sort of...  Took on a life of its own.  No, seriously, it decided to explode O_o  In some ways, this is great: it means I’m exploring something important to me.  In some ways, this sucks: it means the story is taking more of my time and effort than originally planned.

But, after about 5 edits of the first chapter, I can say that...  Dang, this thing is well-written.  It’s also... so much more ambitious than I realized?  Like, it requires a glossary and careful exposition management.  And god, am I having fun with Yamato and Jyou, especially.  I cannot wait to draw Jyou in suspenders, carrying a notebook in a leather cover and a fountain pen, regarding the viewer with a focused panic.  I also have the cutest vintage outfit picked out to draw Sora in.  (The story is vaguely set in the 1930s).

I’m so looking forward to sharing it with you.

Camp Digimonth

So I’m having a lot of fun on the Discord, which I was originally nervous about, so that’s been great!  If you want to participate in Camp Digimonth and join the Discord, here is a fresh link.

Get your project/goals announcements ready!  The event starts on Saturday, 1/1/2022!

Am I nervous?  Yes!  Is everything happening anyway?  ALSO YES!  LET’S GOOOOOOOO!

Life

Warning: Talking about Christmas/holiday blues.

Do you know how when you don’t feel 100%, your brain is like: have I contracted the plague?  Will they throw my body into the “bring out yer dead” wheel barrow come dawn?

Yeah.  It’s especially potent after seeing my family and my husband’s family for Christmas.  They’re like 95% antivax, because of course they are.  My husband and I are triple vaccinated (we got boosters, I mean), so hopefully it’s all fine, but...  Yeah, I haven’t been feeling great.  I am not running a fever, and I can taste/smell, buuuuut I’m thinking I should get tested before returning to work on January 4.

Speaking of anxiety, talking with a friend helped me see how vulnerable I am around the holidays.  I’ve been anxious and easily upset/stuck in a bad mind frame since like...  Late November?  It’s releasing enough for me to see it now, but...  Moving forward, I’m going to have to be vigilant around the holidays.

There’s a lot to unpack surrounding them, they bring up traumatic memories and make me question why I participate in the extended, draining pageantry (I hold a Christmas Eve dinner, then go to two Christmas celebrations on Christmas Day- three parties and about four hours in the car in a window of about 27 hours, with presents for every relative and hours of cleaning my house).  I feel especially kinda... bamboozled on the Christmas Eve thing, which I was convinced to do by my mother and my husband’s parents as a substitute for having Christmas morning with them (which we can’t do, because we have two events to attend Christmas day, one with each of our families).  I allowed this when I was 23 and easily influenced; now I’m 32 and over it, but with the tradition set, it’s difficult to back out.

It’s easy to be frustrated with myself- why am I taking part in this?  My friend reminded me that most people see Christmas as a quick, annual sacrifice in the name of playing nice/avoiding huge fallout.  Normally, I’d handle it well; the problems are the vulnerable state I’m already in, because the holidays are hard on me, and that my family goes so hard at it.

I found myself thinking, “If I had my own child, I could start my own traditions with them, and look forward to that.”  Which is, of course, flawed thinking in multiple ways.  One, it isn’t a child’s job to make me happy/fulfill some missing thing for me.  Two, if I had a baby, there’d be more family pressure, not less, as people tend to love babies and want to see them.

Basically, guess who has two thumbs and needs to sort her own shit?  This gal!

Actually, though, a few of my family members are wanting to move out of the area.  I live in a high cost of living area on the east coast of the USA, and I guess with how rough inflation has been, and with the housing market soaring even higher, people are fleeing high COL areas to less expensive areas.  It’s sounding like the holidays could look really different next year, which could be a good thing.  

Still gotta sort the shit, though.

I hope you all had safe and happy holidays.  If not, I wish you a speedy recovery xD  

I guess it’s time to start thinking of the new year!

[vivithefolle]

I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird

I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:

Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!

Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!

Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.

Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.

Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.

Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!

Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??

Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…

Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?

Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?

Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…

Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!

Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!

Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!

Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.

Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.

Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!

Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-