#kinda wanna revise it and post it as something else

[snowdeong]

Hope the three other secretary yeji au enjoyers don't mind that I'm probably gonna put it on followers only if I haven't already deleted it on tumblr

[astrophileous]

Important! Please read!

I'm tagging the people who are on the Love Bugs taglist, so if you don't feel like reading through all of this that's fine!

Tag(s): @camilaheroine @crazyunsexycool @whateverrrrrrrrs @wifeyofeveryone @louderfortheback @marvelousgoldroses

Hello everyone, first of all I wanna start by saying I'm sorry for having seemingly disappeared for the past week. I know that I was supposed to be uploading two new parts of Love Bugs on Monday and Thursday, and I've missed both days so far without so much as an explanation. The truth is, I've been logging in and out for days trying to come up with a justified excuse for this delay, but I decided today that I will just tell you the truth of what's really happening.

I'm not doing very good at the moment.

I know this seems like a pathetic excuse, but it's the truth. As some of you know, I'm a full time college student and I've been slammed with school work for the past week. I'm tired all the time. Whenever I have even a little bit of free time, I use it to sleep. Life is just so hectic for me right now that writing Love Bugs has been kinda put in the back burner.

But that's not all the reason why I've been MIA.

A few days ago, someone left me an anonymous ask telling me that I've done a terrible job on the last few parts of Love Bugs.

Now, at first, I was gonna be the bigger person and ignore them altogether. But apparently that one little comment did more damage than I ever thought it could. For the past week, every time I went to revise my drafts for Love Bugs, all I could think about was how badly I needed them to be done perfectly to make sure no one else was gonna have this same thought about the upcoming parts. I kept thinking that what I wrote was lacking something. That it wasn't good enough to be published yet. And as a drastic measure, I ended up uploading nothing at all.

I know it seems silly to be this badly affected by one rude comment when I've gotten nothing but love from everyone else. But I guess this is your daily reminder that words do hurt, and even if they are written on the internet, it doesn't make them hurt less because behind all of these makeshift profiles and avatars are real people with real feelings and emotions.

Today, I finally braced myself to make this post. I thought it was unfair for all of you to not be offered at least an explanation about what's happening. If you're wondering when I will finally upload the next chapter of Love Bugs, then I'm sorry to tell you that I don't know yet. I have one completed part, but as I've explained above, I just keep going back to revise it again and again because I'm just not satisfied with it.

So, there you go. The reason behind my absence. I want to remind all of you too while we're here to please, please, please be kind to all of the fic writers and/or other content creators in your fandom. We're all doing all of this free of charge. So please, if you don't like something we make, scroll past it. Don't be mean. We don't owe you anything. Don't ruin something that's supposed to be fun just because you don't find it as enjoyable as others might.

This is all I'm gonna say for now. Hopefully, I will have gotten my shit together by the time next upload schedule rolls around so that you guys could have the next part of Love Bugs on Monday.

Thank you for reading all the way through of this long-ass rant. Have a great day xx

[jesscrazydoodles]

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! I wanna start 2024 introducing my main penguin oc and finally posting his character card that I had in my gallery for far longer that I’m willing to admit 😅

So, This is Jimmy. I took a page out of @flxr-art book and asked her to describe him and this is what she had to say:

“Jimmy is the type of character that acts mostly because of his love ones instead of for himself, and once he learns how to step outside of what he knows is great. He's so very insecure at first, and still is, but he makes due with what he has and even though he's not confident on himself he takes a step outside of his comfort zone for his friends and is very protective of them”

Jimmy has charisma, but he lacks the confidence to back it up. He “knows” a lot of penguins but had little to no friends before meeting Thunder.

He’s on the inattentive side of ADHD and was definitely considered “gifted” as a kid witch gave him such a self worth crisis that still follows him. Basically if he isn’t giving his 110% he doesn’t feel like he’s doing something right. To him, if things are easy, he’s not putting an effort. This mentality has kept him from perusing many opportunities.

He’s the book’s smart to Thunder’s street smarts in the sense that he does that ADHD thing of picking up information like a magnet and knowing a little bit of everything.

As a kid all to way up to early adulthood he had a blog dedicated to conspiracy theories. Ninjas, secret codes, tipping the iceberg, etc. He still logs into it from time to time but since he became a journalist he’s barely been able to update it. Aunt Arctic had always been a role model to him so, in her honor, his screen name for this blog was “Jimmy Arctic” and it stuck.

His mom is Argentinian and his dad was Puertorican but if you ask him up front he’ll just say he’s Argentinian since his dad passed away before Jimmy could really remember him and he doesn’t feel very connected to that side of himself. He’s very close to his mom though. He was born and raised in Club Penguin but his mom moved away after he grew up.

Jimmy is very adaptable to whomever he is with. He can even the playing field easily or match the energy of the other person. He’s actually on his best when playing off of someone else since it forces him to step out of his comfort zone, and explore different facets of his own personality.

On the down side, he can be a bit egocentric, but not in a “oh look at me, I’m the center of the universe” kinda way. All his life it’s been just him and his mom, so that’s his point of reference. It’s more of a “oh, I’ve been stuck inside my own head for so long that I forget the factor the wide range of reactions from others”

——

Fun facts:

-“Jimmy” was the name of my first ever penguin in CP. The name comes from that one character in the Kratt brother’s cartoon. To this day I have no idea why I choose it, I didn’t even like the character that much, but regardless, I’m glad I did.

-I named him Juaquin because as a kid, I didn’t like the name. I also didn’t know how to spell it. It’s fine, it’s a running joke. (Also to all Juaquins out there, I do like the name now, I’m sorry 🙏)

-He was originally going to be related to Aunt A. but upon revision, yeah first thing I scratched. The name stuck though.

-He also had a cousin named Elsa who was a whole other mess of a character so I scraped her

-All my ocs are adults in their early to mid twenties, but of the main three, Jimmy is the youngest.

-His dad named him.

-His mom calls him “Quino”

-Has a lot of ADHD headaches

-He has an argentine accent when he speaks Spanish, and while he can mask it pretty well in English it occasionally slips.

-He enjoys card-jitsu as a spectator sport and collects the cards.

-He came up with the band name. Thunder only regrets it sometimes.

-just in case it didn’t make sense, he has a blue puffle named Blue.

-💚🤍🩶🖤

—

I still have a lot of this character I could talk about but I want to leave it a little bit brief cause if it was up to me I’d keep going and that’ll just be a nightmare 😵‍💫 if you’ve read this far that probably means a failed to put the “read more” and IM SORRY 🥲 or you actually read all this and just 🥹❤️ thank you!

[aberooski]

Because I've been enabled once again, I've returned to my bullshit.

Once again, thank you to my favorite enabler/mutual @chazz-is-a-zelda-fan 💜

Today I present, a full and comprehensive tier list of every fanfic I've written and posted as well as a sneak at some WIP's and such 👀

Whether you've read everything or just a few of these, I'm curious to hear your thoughts and whether you agree or disagree with any of my placements of these works 🤔

Now that we've seen said list, allow me to briefly voice some thoughts on my placements 😌

Firstly, I've gone on record several times saying that I firmly believe that Favorite and Best are not mutually exclusive things. Just because something may be the "best" doesn't mean it has to be your favorite, and conversely, just because something may be your favorite thing doesn't necessarily mean you think it's the best of that thing either. But in this instance it just so happens my favorite fic, OUAD, is also the one I think is the best aksks.

OUAD is just brilliant. The combination of 4 of my favorite things: my favorite movie, my favorite Disney couple and just individually favorite prince and princess, my favorite show, and my favorite ship. A loose yet still fairly faithful adaptation of the film that brings me so much joy while also tearing my soul into shreds. And the casting? Phenomenal on my part. When I clear some stuff from my plate, I swear I'll be working on a sequel 😤

Salt In The Wound also got to sneak up into Best because in my opinion it's my best one shot. And also I just legitimately like the actual writing in it, I think it's some of my best work. Also I just needed it. I emotionally need that aftermath to Zane and Syrus's duel, I needed the comfort of them caring for Sy and catharsis from airing frustrations with Zane and the show didn't give it to me, so it's kinda a fulfillment that's on a totally different level than anything else I've done before.

Now Sons of The Stars. The fully crafted from the ground up, fully designed wardrobe, 130k fantasyish au that all stemmed from a throwaway joke in Angel's Tears. I love this one, especially the new updated version, I fixed so many things and just improved it so much from how it was originally. But I have some beef with it that keeps it from Best but still at the very top. The execution of Jaden and Jesse's romance isn't my favorite and I wrote it under a time crunch originally so you could tell towards the end I was rushing. That's been fixed a bit now but I still have a lingering disappointment with the idea that if I waited to write it originally I could've just done a better job overall with it. But as it stands I still think that fic is fantastic and it's my pride and joy.

Deviating from GX quick, my FFXV fic. What Goes In, this is just a good ass fic imo. Taking a segment from the game and answering for myself questions both the main game and Prompto's dlc raised and didn't answer, incorporating a lot of twists and turns and my own spin on what happens in that segment of the game, while incorporating actual game dialog and moments and shit too GAH it's good 😭 Also indulging in Promptis and Gladnis on the DL In the middle of all the pain and angst 🤭 biggest problem is that I haven't posted in it since March of 2020 and there's only 1 chapter left 😭 I promise I'm working on revising it right now and I'm finishing it by the end of 2023 that's my goal!

Might be controversial placement, but I put Sustained By Hate in the "Good" category......

Listen I love it. Camula coming back for revenge is an S+ idea. My problems lie with some of the execution, also me not really having the characterization of my version of Chazz's mom on lock yet. There's a lot of revisions I wanna do to that fic bro. Nothing too drastic or anything but still. There's also just so much happening in that one it feels a little messy to me now going back and re reading it. But Lexi usurping the main character role towards the end is brilliant and I actually wrote a duel which was hard as shit and I'm so proud of it and myself so extra bonus points for that! Overall, I love that fic but still as it stands I only think it's good. Perhaps a revised version would get bumped up on my list 🤔

Traffic Lights, my 5Ds one shot that's just Carly sitting in her car trapped in traffic 😂 not a lot to gripe about or say here, it's just a cute little work. I like it, I think it's good, but I feel like most of what I've written is better, it's that simple. I still really like it a lot though!

Angel's Tears, the first GX fic I ever wrote....... listen I thought this was my magnum opus for the LONGEST time..... if you've read the original version, that's embarrassing for me to say. Now the revised version I did recently? That's less embarrassing. But still this fic's only alright in my opinion. It was good at the time, I was 18 when I first wrote it and like I said, it was the 1st GX fic I ever wrote. But I've just improved so much as a writer, the newer version supports that better now akaksk and well, it's just not my best work in my opinion. I also don't really like the title anymore but it's been too long I can't change it now. But this fic was what got me started with writing these kids so I owe it a debt of gratitude for that. We wouldn't have all the rest of these works without it.

A Friend In Need, my Bastion one shot. Like the Carly one, not much to say about it. I like it, but it's just old and I need to revise it. It's cute and appropriately upsetting and a good idea to address Bastion's feelings of invisibility and inadequacy in season 2, the execution just needs to be given a face lift in my opinion.

Before I sneak at my WIPS, I'm gonna jump down to Rewriting.

Alice was an old fic I did that was basically an episode rewrite for episode 80, you know. The filler episode after they get back from Domino. With Alice... hence the title.... well if you read that story before I deleted it to rewrite it well you're entitled to compensation of some sort. It wasn’t good if you ask me. And rereading it there were a couple moments in it that made even me uncomfortable now that didn't back then. Literally I lost the plot while I was writing it like I jumped off the deep end a few chapters in and it dips so hard in quality. I'm just redoing it from like chapter 2 or 3 on, It has to be done.

Anyway now a quick roll call of my current WIPS for you babies because I like you and they're all S+ concepts 😌

We ALL know about Chazerella. My stormshipping Cinderella au riding the coattails of OUAD. I'll be starting writing that once we cross into the new year 👍

My Stormshipping + Alexis crossover with Mario.... yeah that started as a joke but isn't a joke anymore. I've posted about that so much you all know akakaka Chazz hanging out in Bowser's dungeon with Peach while Atticus and Alexis traverse the Mushroom Kingdom with Mario and Luigi to go rescue them??? Yes please!!

The GX/Fatal Frame 5: Maiden of Black Water crossover, I said that would be the next one after OUAD but well it's just gonna happen whenever it happens, that one is purely for me. I have actually started writing it and once I get a little further I think I'll be posting that one as I write it 😌 it'll take as long as it takes and y'all will have to deal with the suspense and cliffhangers while Alexis teams up with Yuri and the camera crew to find Atticus and rescue him from ghosts aksks (also I'm actually using the Japanese names for once in this one be proud of me!!)

And finally, So Take Hold of Me, And Hang On 'Till The Hurt Is Gone. You guys remember that one little snippet excerpt whatever you wanna call it with Chazz and Atty I posted I believe in like November or something? Yeah, this is that 🤭 I haven't touched it really since then but I'll make a full thing out of it mark my words! (Also the title comes from one of my favorite Yellowcard songs, "The Hurt Is Gone", that was actually the initial inspiration for that work 😊 that song, and the word "stay")

Anyways y'all, that's my tier list of my fanfiction! This was actually really fun but also really hard to make I'm so indecisive I went back and forth on a lot of these for so long akakksksksksks

But anyways hope y'all had some mindless fun with me, and I'm curious to hear any thoughts if y'all have any thoughts to share!

Keep your chins up and smile! 💜

[crystallinearts]

yoyoyo fans of chosen.!! GOOD NEWS!

I know it’s been a while since the last chapter, but I’m working on the next one

HOWEVER, that’s not the good news! the good news is actually kinda twofold

first off, I’m revising and adding/polishing up earlier chapters! the first maybe 5 chapters were particularly egregious with regard to the way Chara spoke and the voice for Reader-chan, but I’m on chapter 12 trying to revise things and still finding some places to add or change little bits

it’s a lot of refining dialogue (Reader-chan was supposed to do a little more stammering, “um/uh” and repeating words in earlier chapters to convey her nervous/shyer personality, AND in the first several chapters I noticed a lot of places where I broke the rule that Chara barely uses contractions in their speech, as well as they were supposed to use a bit more formal language choices) and putting in some additional jokes/foreshadowing/mini interactions between the Dreemurr sibs

and WHEW I’ve got over 200,000 words to go through so it’ll be a hot minute before I actually get these updated chapters posted or anything, but I’m really hoping they’ll read a lot better than they used to

AND THE OTHER PIECE OF GOOD NEWS...

I’m starting to do fanfic readings of my own works on my YouTube channel, and chosen. is the first one I’m going to attempt! THIS is what got me to kick my ass into gear and revise the earlier chapters, because I knew I always wanted to do this, but I didn’t want to start doing it until I’d revised the chapters, fixed things up, etc.

I’ve already got the first chapter’s reading recorded, but I do wanna get a couple of request videos out before I make a video of my reading the first chapter of chosen.

and, that said... I need some art for the videos. =)

I’ll probably use my own art for a lot of chapters, because ideally I’d love to have a different piece for each chapter’s video

WHICH MEANS... if anyone who has already drawn something for it would be okay with me using their art, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! obviously I would link to your Tumblr (or wherever else you’d like to be credited) in the video description (and probably in the actual video as well)

and if you’d like to create a piece specifically for any chapter, GO FOR IT, TAG ME, AND LET ME KNOW THAT I CAN USE IT!!! I love to give all the incredible artists and my supporters ALL THE ATTENTION!

but please note that you don’t have to! my fanworks are free projects created because I love them, and I can’t pay for art, so it would literally just be something for you to do ONLY IF you would like to, and I absolutely do not expect it! as I said, I’ll probably do most of the art myself, I just thought I’d put that out there that if anyone would like their pieces featured in something like that, I would absolutely LOVE to share your creations with the world

anyway, that’s it for now... hopefully I’ll have a new chapter of something out for you guys soon!! love youuuuuu <3 <3 <3

[malevolententity]

project 16!

16 and a half hour. this project took me 16 and a half hours and i think i want to bash my head into a wall. not because its bad or anything i actually quite like it! but. i started this and thought itd be a 6 hour project. surely only 6 hours. no. 16 and a half hours. this does not look like 16 and a half hours. and yet? and yet it is! i am going insane! i am being taken into the spiral much like the lusidius. 16 and a half hours.

ANYWAYS made a hammock! as i make more things i realized i needed a more permanent and better place to hold all my items so just kinda winged a hammock! i am gonna be messing with placement for the next forever because m not totally happy with the bottom right. i may add a string to that corner so i have a longer anchor somewhere else so i like it more but eh! now we shall see if it actually holds up or if it sucks and i gotta reinforce all the corners.

fun fact! theres about 7 color changes in this because i was winging it with scrap yarn! i wish i coulda planned this better so that stripe of orange and brown was in the center but oh well!

SEASON THOUGHTS SO FAR

i dont even know how to go about this. so. last we left off it was the end of episode 11! i now have exactly one hour and 12 minutes left to the season! i am on episode 16!!!!!!!!! 16!!!!!!!!!!! ive loved every second of this. the twists have been so interesting and so beautifully hinted at that on a rewatch i know m gonna point and yell at things because oh!!!! thats what that means!!! you fucker!!!! i am so so enchanted and endeared to this cast. thiago isnt dead yet!!! thats fun!!! thats cool!!! hes currently asking for a cigarette [02:26:34] because hes probably gonna die right after i hit play on the rest of this episode!!! m not gonna be okay but its fine!

i think. i am going to wait to post this until ive finished the episode. i dont feel like starting a new project yet, i just wanna give myself the treat of watching the ending. with no distractions no matter how small they are. so. i guess thats where ill leave this.

oh shit its an amount of time later and i finished the season time to scream. or cry. i am writing this title before hitting play :D

vou me matar na sua frente. that was a really good ending for the season. everything happened that i anticipated and yet, i have still been a sobbing mess for the past hour. god what a great fucking story.

i wanna double cry tho because the revelando doesnt have subtitles and i Know its because equipe t is focusing on the actual seasons but ohhh i wanna know the secrets i wanna hear everyone talk about things that didnt get shared.

fucked up that i have to wait for desconjuração to finish being translated. last update i saw was in like july they were doing final revisions on the first half but its been silence ever since. hands and knees that they say something soon about how its going i wanna sink my teeth into it.

god m not ready to say goodbye. there may be a slight spam happening immediately or just filling up my queue we shall see. fuck

also fun fact!!!!!! ive been watching season 2 since the beginning of july!!! july 5th was my first post that happened at the start of season 2!!! it took me 16 weeks to watch this season!! the same amount of time it took to record it!!! that wasnt even planned that just kinda happened and i think is fun!

[writesmutandbeproud]

Get to know your fic writer!

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics? - One-shots

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go? - depends 

Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic - talking to myself a lot/daydreaming + writing it roughly down - trying to make it into something presentable - edit 

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas? - spite 

Do you like constructive criticism? - yes! 

Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process? - would love to have a beta but no

How do you choose which POV to write from? - coolest POV wins

Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story? - middle

Do you comment on stories you read? - yes, the ones I like and on the ones I think have great potential

Name your three favorite fics right now - The Lemonade Leak by TurtleSoupSwimmer;  No Rest For The Weary by Nekotsuki; Cass apocalyptic series 

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you? love feedback and it makes me generally write faster, no feedback is okay too, but I tend to lose interest in a fandom when the community is inactive

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow? I use paragraphs and grammarly

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences? - love indulging in my own sadness and project it to fictional characters 

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic? - uhm, yes

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them? - 42, the apocalypse is the worst case scenario for all of them, in order to gain the power to protect his family Mikey has to leave them and slowly becomes a stranger...  

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) - I stop writing

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles? - before, I have a list of titles I want to use and as long as they loosely fit the theme I don’t mind if its not a perfect match

What is your most-used tag on your ao3? - Hurt/Comfort

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? - yes, it drives me nuts, there are so many words out there why do I always end up using the same?

Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story? - depends 

Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) - yes, not a fan of insert reader

Best writing advice for other writers? - Just write something that you are passionate about. Do it! It doesn't have to be perfect, I just wanna read it! 

Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you? - none, all the advice I got so far was good

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on? - My Percy Jackson stuff (Chasing Shadows) - like I had a lot of ideas and loved the characters, but I kinda felt alone and it was hard to continue writing without someone reading. Now I am at a point were I don’t remember what I planed and am not that interested in the protagonists anymore... 

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? - Heroes and Villains. I wrote this when I was bored out of my mind during my theoretical lessons to become a nurse. It was really fun and the pacing I had going still scares and amazes me...

What is your most and least favorite part of writing? - editing and when you have a scene in your head you are already done with but then you still have to write it down (you know what to do but you just don’t want to) 

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day? - that differs greatly

What’s your revision or editing process like? - post the chapter first and edit later (I have no patience). It helps me during editing when I can read it on ao3 or else I have to print it. Also it’s not such a big deal since I mostly write one-shots     

Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? - no polishing for me, but you don’t want to know what my ‘rough drafts’ look like... 

Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing? - characters. Always. First I hyperfixate and then I make it everyone else problem

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. - boopboop, ThatOneGirlBehindYou, akurosa

Do you want to be published some day? - Idk

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer? - hopefully completing my WIPs

What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? - let them be a characters too, not just plot devices  

How do you write kissing scenes? - depends 

How do you choose where to end a chapter? - most dramatic part 

Would you ever write commissions? depends 

Share a snippet from a WIP - ”Remember our seminar ‘hug.it.out’? There is a sequel - ‘mistakes happen’ followed by don’t judge a book by its cover’” 

If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? - BTL/Oblivium - Part 1: Andrew hugging Varian in their prison cell

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? - the ones I love I reread again and again

What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? - No Rest For The Weary by Nekotsuki, yes it is awesome!!!

Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person? - sadistic joy in emotionally whumping ... but then you have to make them feel better too

What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? - writing in past tense and adding another embedded sentence that has a verb with an -ing in it 

Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh? - both (and if I am really good I do it simultaneously) 

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc) - depends

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? - not so many 4-5 times... I am mostly glad it’s out... editing comes later when I have more distance towards it (aka when deleting a sentence did not feel like erasing a part of my soul) 

What do you look for in a beta? - good grammar skills

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? - sometimes, I take it as a compliment and if I feel there is something I can respond too I will otherwise I’ll ignore it 

How long is your longest fic? - 15.000 words, I like it short and sweet when I write, otherwise I don’t finish 

What’s your total AO3 word count? -  169,663

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? - yes, cause it’s polite 

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? - depends on the fandom, I usually write when I think something is missing

What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? - sharing your passion about things you love

Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? - Varian is my favorite

What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? - I try to do the ‘show don’t tell’ stuff, foreshadowing and to connect even the oneshots 

Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? - both

What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) - daydreaming about really dramatic stuff in my head

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone? - yes... most of them know (probably not my grandparents but I wouldn’t hide it when it comes up)

Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like? - best feeling ever!!! like I make screenshots and stuff

Why do you continue writing fics? - spite and love

Thoughts on cliffhangers? - love them but you better not let me hang forever 

Something you hate to see in smut. - stuff with animals?

Something you love to see in smut. - love and affection

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project - ... for now I kinda just wanna finish them

How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)? - I’ll break down completely and switch fandoms (neg. comments: I write more cause yay a comment!)

Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? depends

What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? - reading

What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing? - they are all my beloved little babys

When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write? - depends

When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.? - lots and lots of notes, tables, and charts, like for emotionally development, goals, physical updates... it’s a mess 

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else? - depends, if I am motivated front to back... and if not favorite scenes 

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? - nothing 

You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it? - this is a really mean question... and makes me feel rather insecure about my writing style

What scene in took the longest to write? What was difficult about it? - Cracks in the Mirror, Storm in a Teacup - Part 3, Leo’s drowning scene. Cause I knew what it feels like, and what the mood supposed to be was but the words kept on failing me

Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut? - not that many. I stop when I am satisfied. everything not used goes into the ‘scene folder’ and gets eventually recycled in another project

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written?  BTL/Oblivium - Part 1, its rare for me to go to such dark places emotionally while writing... but it was fun in the ‘what have I done’ kind of way

[verycharismaticdragon]

Okay, err, a few points I wanna reply to, so I'm just tackling them in random order.

First, about Peak Lords' ages - yeah, there's a lot of support for making them not that old.

I'm p sure the bit about TLJ-sealing happening before YQY was Sect Leader is just straight-up canon. Then, when SY!SQQ sees SJ's memories of disciple selections, it mentions something about how the Peak Lords only ascended a couple years ago (I'm trying not to skip ahead in my reread so idr exact wording). Which would make the IAC Gone Wrong either 2nd or 3rd ever for their generation. (Fun fact: if IAC happens every 4 years, it means SY transmigrated a year or less after the previous one.) Also, when the System gives Airplane a deadline for becoming the head disciple, it's 3 years, and yeah the System is a bitch but: wouldn't it make sense for the deadline to be either the ascension itself, or at least the latest possible date the previous peak lords may choose a succeeding disciple? Putting SQH's ascension age at smth like 20-21.

I hope to collect a few more clues as I reread, but yeah. There's a lot of support for not-that-old peak lords.

Next point, I'm kinda not sure about the idea of the 20-days binge being a reread. Esp considering the context for SQQ mentioning it, which is that he had "clean forgotten" most of the beginning arc. I'd guess his memories would be fresher if he was re-reading and recently too. So far, it seems that the most likely case is that he binged the novel when he first joined the fandom (either during the abyss or post-abyss arc), and then followed it update to update.

As for Airplane dying while writing another chapter, see, here's the thing: Shen Yuan had clearly read the finale. The way he talks about holding out till the end, hoping the plot threads would be resolved after all, is one thing. Another is this paragraph:

ch.1, p.12 (eng.edition)

Which sounds exactly like a sort of thing that would be in the book's epilogue / ending. The sort of thing that would wrap up the story.

So, what's up with Airplane writing another chapter?

One possible explanation is that he was writing extras. Most cnovels have them, and considering PIDW is his money tree, I'd imagine he'd write some whenever his finances would look a little dry, even if he moved on to writing something else.

Another is, ofc, that he was writing something else, because I paged through his extra real quick and it doesn't seem to ever specify that it was a PIDW update he was working on.

If you wanna go slightly tinfoil hat unhinged, though, I would suggest "sv!Airplane and sv!Cucumber actually come from two parallel worlds" theory. That would explain who is writing the revised danmei version of PIDW (Airplane in the world where Shen Yuan died), how Shen Yuan read the finale even though Airplane died writing an update, and even why Shen Yuan says PIDW ran for 4 years while the beginning of the Airplane extras says he maintaned his insane productivity for three...

(Yeah, the last one can also be explained differently, if we consider that Airplane was writing PIDW seriously in the beginning, and only started banging out brainless smut later.)

(Tbh this was a crack explanation I came up with for possible binggeyuan fic so. yk. mostly joking about it. unless? 👀)

...actually you know what*, I'll check the canon myself tomorrow, but: do we actually know for sure that SY died immediately after finishing PIDW? because i remember he died cursing it with his last words, but not whether it was indicated that he died the same day as he finished reading.

Couldn't it happen at a later date? Because, like, just basing it on myself, there are some things that I finished 2 years ago and hated so much that I still have a rant pretty much lock'd and loaded, and I will start recounting it at the slightest provocation.** Couldn't it be the same case?

*inspired by a couple posts i saw before, about the discrepancy between SY following the novel for years (i didnt see this on my reread yet so idk source) and finishing it in 20 days (chap.1)

**yes, yes, the probability of transmigrating into woh/shl if i meet an unfortunate accident is something I have a healthy fear of

[stardustcatcher]

Pretty Boy

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors DNI), swearing, needy subby-ish josh, dry humping, praise, fluff, josh being a lil sad (bc that indeed needs a warning), biting? like once, a lot of pet names cause i'm a slut for that, uhh i don't think there's anything else but let me know if i missed anything.

AN: babby posts writing?!? it's a christmas miracle! this has been in my drafts for literally ever but i kinda revised it and decided why the fuck not. idk if i'm really happy with it but i wanted to get something posted and i'm deep in josh land so this is what happened. heavily inspired by the need i have for josh to be in my lap. it's not my best and it's short but i hope you all enjoy it anyway :)

this is also my first time writing in second person and it wasn't as hard as i thought so maybe all my fics will be like that from now on, but with my inconsistency, who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

taglist

You were sitting on the couch, glass of wine in hand reading your favorite book for the umpteenth time when you heard the front door slam. The jingling of keys were heard as they were set on the little hook by the door and you peeked over to where your beautiful lover stood, toeing off his shoes with a heavy sigh. Josh looked absolutely drained, hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, and shoulders tight with an unknown tension. Nevertheless, the sight of him made you smile. He’d been so busy recently, putting the finishing touches on the band’s newest album, and it felt like he hadn’t been home in ages. 

Josh trudged over to where you sat on the couch, his lips pursed in a slight pout as he bent down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, and then planted a chaste peck on your lips. “Hey, mama,” he said with a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes and it seemed forced. 

“Hi, baby. How was work?” you asked, handing him the glass of wine knowing that he could probably use it. He sighed with a roll of his eyes and took a gulp of the red in the glass. 

“Don’t wanna talk about work,” he shook his head, running a hand down his tired face. You nodded, knowing that wasn’t true. Josh always said he didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him, but in fifteen minutes or less, he’d be venting. 

“Okay, we don’t have to talk. But come sit with me, I miss you,” you shut your book, laying it on the coffee table before patting the space beside you. Josh flopped down on the cushion, sinking into the softness before you cuddled up to his side, head on his chest and arm thrown around his waist. His hand made its way into your hair, smoothing it over and pressing his fingers lightly into your scalp. His lips left a kiss on your temple as you listened to the song of his heartbeat, his body heat warming you up. 

“How was your day? Hope it was better than mine,” he whispered, lips on your forehead. 

“Boring without you,” you answered. “I put those shelves up in the bedroom, did the laundry, and cleaned up the kitchen. Just stuff that needed to get done,” you shrugged and felt his chest rumble with a small laugh. 

“What a pretty little homemaker you are,” he chuckled.

“Shut up,” you laughed along with him, shoving his side playfully. “I’m happy you're home.”

“I’m happy to be home,” he replied with a hum. “Today was just not my day. Sam was extra late today and cranky, we found out that one of the takes for a song we recorded was almost completely unusable, Jake was being an ass, I didn’t get to eat lunch, and just to top it all off, I got a fucking flat tire on the way home,” Josh ranted, face becoming redder with each inconvenience he recalled. 

“I’m sorry, my love,” you pouted at him, genuinely upset that he had such a bad day. Josh was the sweetest, kindest man you’d ever met. He deserved nothing but the most wonderful days. “I can’t do much but would a cuddle help?” you asked hopefully, pushing yourself away from him and opening your arms welcomingly. Josh smiled, the first real one you’d seen, his pearly white perfect teeth on display, looking just a little bit happier at the suggestion. 

“A cuddle always helps,” he grinned. You readjusted yourself in your seat, lifting the blanket up with one hand and patting your lap with the other. 

Josh got up before plopping himself down in your lap, straddling you with a leg on the side of each hip. His head burrowed into your neck as you laid the blanket back over the both of you. Your left hand moved to his curls, raking your fingers through them while your right hand slid under the back of his shirt, nails training up and down his spine. He wrapped himself around you like a koala, inhaling the scent of your shampoo and body wash, taking slow deep breaths and calming himself. 

With his incessant need for constant physical touch, you’d found out early in your relationship that this was the ideal position for Josh to get what he needed to ground himself and calm down. Everyone needed to be held sometimes, and he was no exception. His arm tenderly wrapped around your waist as he gave you a squeeze, his breath warm and soothing against your neck. “Is there anything else on your mind, lover?” you asked, leaning your cheek against his head as you continued to rub his back. 

“Just miss you, I guess,” he mumbled into your skin. “Feels like forever since we’ve been like this. Miss holding you, being held by you. Miss your kisses, touching you, loving on you. Just miss you.”

“I miss you too, Josh,” you sighed, feeling tears well in your eyes at the thought of him feeling so starved for attention and affection and love. “But we’re here now, and you’re off for the next few days, aren’t you?”

He nodded, hair tickling your face. “Yeah, wanna spend them just like this,” he hummed, completely and utterly content. 

After a few moments he lifted his head, moving to rest his forehead against yours. His lips gently pressed into yours  and he melted against you even more, your hands moving to hold his hips. Your lips melded together as he poured all his love into you with a kiss that said I love you, I miss you, I need you. 

Josh deepened the kiss as his mouth parted, a tiny high pitched whine escaping his throat. His hands moved from behind you to tug at the bottom of your shirt. “Want it off,” he muttered against your lips. You smiled before pulling back, tugging your shirt off carelessly and tossing it behind you as he did the same with his own. He groaned at the sight of your naked chest and you could feel him grow hard in his pants from where he sat in your lap. “You’re so beautiful, mama,” Josh whispered before reconnecting your lips, his tongue immediately tangling with yours in a sloppy kiss. You swallowed the wanton moans and sighs that left him, gulping them down greedily as his hips began to move against you on their own accord. “Fuck,” he shuddered when his hips caught a particularly good spot.

“Feel good, sweet boy?” you asked, caressing his cheek with your thumb. His face was flushed and his eyes were clazed over with lust and love and pleasure. “It’s been so long, you must be real pent up, huh?”

“Yeah,” his breath hitched and eyes clenched shut as he ground his covered c ock against your lower stomach. “I had plans, y’know. Soon as I got home, was gonna make you cum on my tongue, then my fingers. Then I was going to fuck you, slow and sweet, just like you deserve.”

“We can still do all that, baby,” you kissed his neck, sucking and biting in all the places you knew drove him crazy. “But you deserve this, and you look so fucking pretty like this, Joshua.”

He keened high in his throat, the noise needy as his hands grappled at your sides, squeezing the soft flesh. “Say that again, please?”

“You like being called pretty, baby?” you whispered into his ear as his head dropped to your shoulder, his hips grinding faster against you now. “You wanna be my pretty good boy?”

“Yes,” he groaned, biting lightly at the junction of your neck and shoulder. “Gonna be so good for you, promise.”

“You already are, baby,” you said, and he was. Josh was the prettiest thing you’d ever seen, all the time. When he was on stage performing for thousands, when he was concentrating with his tongue poking between his lips, when he was sitting as still as he possibly could while getting his rhinestones applied, but he was especially pretty like this when he was sat on your lap, grinding his hips back and forth feverishly chasing that high that was building in the pit of his stomach. You kissed his bare shoulder, loving the feeling of his naked chest pressed against yours, how his hips rutted into you without care, how his neck and chest and ears were all blushed pretty pink. Your hands held his hips firmly, helping guide his movements, to grind him down on you just a little bit harder. “You’re always so good for me, Josh. So good to me. No one has ever loved me like you do, cared for me like you do, fucked me like to do, made me cum like you do. My best boy, the sweetest boy in the world, and you’re all mine. Aren’t you?”

“All yours, all fucking yours,” he gasped and lifted his head and threw it back, an expression of pure bliss etched onto his god-like face. 

“God, I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Do you know how many people would kill to see you like this and I get it all the time, anytime I want,” you mouthed at his collar bones and moved one hand from his hip to cup the bulge in his pants. “You’re so hard, pretty boy. This must hurt. You wanna cum?”

“So bad,” he nodded, his back arching while he ground into the palm of your hand. You could almost feel him throb through his pants. 

“Go ahead, cum for me,” you leaned up to capture his lips once more. “Just like this. I wanna see it.”

“But my pants,” he whined but didn’t stop or slow his movements. 

“I don’t care, and I don’t think you do either. Now c’mon, make a mess, pretty boy.”

A broken moan clawed from the deep within his chest as his hips stuttered against you and a warm wet spot blossomed on the front of his pants, darkening the fabric. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he cried before slowing the movement of his hips gradually, riding out his high. 

When it finally died down, he slumped forward and pressed a row of kisses across your shoulder, breaths coming out in heavy pants. “Feel better?” you asked, hand tangling in his hair once more. 

“So much,” he smiled with an airy, fucked out giggle. “Thank you, darling. I needed that so bad, you have no idea.”

“Anything for my pretty boy,” you ran a hand over his warm face before tapping his hip. “Now get up and I’ll run us a bath, then we can order-in dinner. How does that sound?”

“Like heaven.”

=

taglist: @peachpitpearls @alexxavicry @spark-my-nature

[cyanwormonastring]

Heartstopper Playlist!

Guess what LGBTQ+ community, it's officially the last day of pride month. But fear not, for I have created a (very detailed) playlist for Heartstopper, mainly based around the characters! I'm also interested in making playlists specific characters would listen to put that might take a while to make. So without further ado, here is the list of songs that will be in this playlist, currently titled "gay rugby lads"

NOTE: this post will constantly be revised with the addition of more songs, and trust me, there will be a lot of new additions

(mostly) specific reasoning ->

Dance Wiv Me - Dizzee Rascal: when i heard this song initially, i thought "oh this is what a rugby lad would listen to" but now i also think *shakes head* *nods*

Stupid for You - Waterparks: a cheesy love song, but more specifically focused on the line "you're yellow, i'm natural blue" because the show has a yellow-and-blue theme

Hug All Ur Friends - Cavetown: idk how to explain this one it's kinda just heartstopper energy

Settle Down - Ricky Montgomery: "I wanna settle down with you/I wanna complain about my day with you" TRY AND TELL ME THIS ISN'T LITERALLY EVERY COUPLE IN HEARTSTOPPER. GO AHEAD.

Can't Take My Eyes off You - Frankie Valli: Look at the title. Look at it. Ok good.

Fool - Frankie Cosmos: "I thought we could eat bread/I thought we could talk" Nick talking to Charlie because he's so utterly in love with him

Line Without A Hook - Ricky Montgomery: CHARLIE TALKING TO NICK BECAUSE HE'S AN INSECURE BASTARD AND CAN'T COMPREHEND WHY HE LOVES HIM BACK (especially the first verse)

It’s Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Think It Must Be Love - Fall Out Boy: "Why can you read me like no one else?/I hide behind these words/But I'm coming out/I wish I kept them behind my tongue/I hide behind these words/But I'm coming out" literally the gayest song ever just go listen to it

Fruit Roll Ups - Waterparks: "I don't wana leave my house 'cause in here I'm the ruler/With my refrigerater full of pacific cooler/But for you I'd brave all the traffic outside/The way you brave all the bullshit I hold inside" PEAK INTROVERT (charlie) MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIS BF (nick)

Crushcrushcrush - Paramore: "I noticed your eyes are always glued to me" just look at the way literally ANY of the couples look at each other (also the "let's be more than this" being repeated multiple times throughout the song)

Television/So Far So Good - Rex Orange County: "What the fuck is a girlfriend? Imma need advice" wow a song that's not specifically about nick and charlie! this reminds me more of tao being too shy to shoot his shot with elle, but eventually doing so, and actually being in a happy relationship (see also: "i need insurance on my emotions, i can't get hurt again" because if that ain't tao i don't know what is)

Le Velo Pour Deux - The Brobecks: (no song lyrics here just listen to the whole song at this point) IMAGINE. THE PARIS GANG BEING VAMPIRES IN LOVE IN THE LATE 1800s OR EARLY 1900s?? AND THEM ALL BEING ON TANDEM BIKES??

Love At First Sight - The Brobecks: a cute little love song :)

Out Of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums: charlie totally thinks nick is out of his league

Looking Out for You - Joy Again: "It's just the way you're glancing at me/Something about you just makes me feel guilty for liking you" charlie feels bad about having a crush on nick, thinking he's the straightest dude alive (also i put this song on pretty much every playlist i have)

Favorite Record - Fall Out Boy: i think it would be very cute to have a scene of nick and charlie spinning in their rooms to their favorite songs

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane: it *can* be interpreted in many ways but generally i would like to see it as a couple going to a place that they have special memories, and i think that's beautiful

Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny: "But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating" LITERALLY NICK, CHARLIE, AND ELLE

Sofia - Clairo: a sapphic love song for tara and darcy

My Heart Is Buried In Venice: can't go wrong with ricky montgomery, man

space girl - Frances Forever: I think this song perfectly describes Darcy and Tara's relationship

Smile - Lily Allen: Charlie totally feels this way about Ben after realizing he's a bitch

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones) - Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Charlie's eating disorder (anorexia) is the general theme of this song

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood: nick is bi and that's reason enough to put this here

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood: Nick literally has daddy issues

Body - Mother Mother: Charlie feels insecure in his skin

Body Terror Song - AJJ: Same as Body

7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) - Fall Out Boy: Charlie telling Tao he's "not that desperate" for a rugby lad

It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest: basically what Charlie is going through in chapter 7

in the comics/show ->

Telephone - Waterparks: in the show

girls - girl in red: in the show

cute little love songs :) ->

Sugar Rush - Addison Grace

Friday I'm in Love - The Cure

Kiss Goodnight - iDKHOW

Clusterhug - iDKHOW

Always - Panic! At The Disco

Sweet Tooth - Cavetown

Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

All My Loving - The Beatles

I Will - The Beatles

[rwbyconversations]

The Scarlet Letter: Let’s talk about RWBY’s male LGBT rep

I have been sitting on this post for nearly four weeks waiting until the 15th due to the Before the Dawn spoiler rules.

So let's start with a blunt statement: RWBY's male LGBT representation has not been good. If the series' handling of female LGBT rep is good (which... well there's worse shows) and the general standard for how you write LGBT characters in a show like this, its handling of male rep has been... how not to. And Before the Dawn kinda solidified the idea in my head that the show's handling of its male LGBT cast just isn't good enough, either by the standards of when RWBY began in 2013, or today in 2020 when compatively massive steps have been taken over the past decade to show a more diverse list of characters... or at least a more diverse list of female characters.

I don't wanna make this a pissing match over how over-or-under-represented male or female LGBT characters are, but I feel like it's safe to say that the majority of the trend-setters for modern romances, especially in western animation, have been between women. Korra and Asami from Korra, Chloe and Max from Life is Strange, Marceline and Bubblegum in Adventure Time, (insert the relevant Steven Universe characters here, never watched it), and more recently, Adora and Catra in She-Ra and Luz in Owl House.

Compatively, while studies have shown that in general male LGBT characters get more appearances on a purely numerical level, in general they're more one-off characters there to pad a roster, or played more for comedy (see Josh Gad in the Beauty and the Beast remake or the gay guy in Avengers Endgame that was more notable for how hard China and Russia snapped him out of existance). The only big male-LGBT focused media I can think of from the last decade would be Yuri On Ice, Moonlight, IDW's Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye (Chromedome/Rewind best pairing fuck you Roberts for issue 16) Love Simon, and the anime adaptation of Banana Fish.

So it's no surprise that RWBY basically follows these ideas. It's big romance is (unless the writers are very stupid) going to be between Blake and Yang, their first out character was Ilia, Coco got sent to the Book Dimension where she confirmed "I use my sunglasses to perv on women without their knowledge" which uh... yeah you can definitely tell RWBY is written by men... and Volume 6 had Saph and Terra being a good example of an LGBT couple without any real drama. In the last three years alone, the show has drastically increased its lesbian and bisexual characters, alongside even including its first out trans character in May Marigold (albeit only revealed on Twitter). In general, these depictions of sexuality have been pretty OK. Would have liked it if Ilia wasn't immediately written out of the show after Volume 5 as it made her feel a bit more disposable than intended but whatever, subject for another day.

RWBY's male rep though is a bit spottier. There's the plant bois in Volume 5's premiere, we nearly had Pilot Boi until some last-minute revisions, and... Scarlet.

Why Scarlet's a bad launchpad for male LGBT rep

I don't like Scarlet or how his sexuality has been handled. Scarlet's homosexuality wasn't revealed in the show, or by the writers, or even in anything that's actually canon. He's confirmed gay in his sole of dialogue in a non-canon fan anthology, where the manga's Twitter team had to say that Miles suggested the idea and approved of it.

In short, Scarlet is Dumbledore'd, where his sexuality is revealed in out-of-show material and in a way that doesn't make it supremely obvious (Miles himself never commented to confirm this so this news was limited in how far it could spread. I'm genuinely curious how many people still don't know Scarlet's gay), and Scarlet himself is a nothing character who was written out of the show after Volume 3 and only reappeared in Before The Dawn, half a decade after he vanished. Compared to Ilia, as this came out after Ilia's entire arc in Volume 5, it's not a great starting point for mlm rep. But things would have been forgiven if it had gotten better, if the show did have more male LGBT characters introduced, even just on the Saphron/Terra level of just being around for a few episodes before leaving. Then it would have been a misfire but then we could all say "Things got better."

It... didn't. Which is why when Before the Dawn released in 2020, a full two years after Scarlet was first confirmed gay, while the franchise had more than doubled its wlw rep, Scarlet remained the one male character in the entire franchise who had a name and liked men. I remember vividly a fake leak for After The Fall which claimed Yatsuhashi would come out to Velvet and admit to having a crush on Fox. And I remember as well how many people were disappointed when it was said to be false, because it would have been nice for Yatsuhashi's character, especially after the fleshing out he gets in the CFVY books. If Yatsu had come out as gay in the books I'd like his writing enough to say he's a good case for rep, albeit with the caveat of "This is all in side material." But in reality, the leak was fake and Coco was confirmed gay instead.

Unfortunately, Before the Dawn proceeded to ruin Scarlet and made me at times feel genuinely uncomfortable as a queer man! Let's talk about that.

Before The Dawn is crap and Scarlet's writing is borderline offensive

I hate Before the Dawn. It's... bad. I read it while on a vacation and the only solace I had about the entire thing was that I'd bought an M&M chocolate bar. The bar was finished before the book. That bummed me out. It's not a very well written book, the prose is very Early 2010s YA Writer, none of the characters are memorable and there's various Fun Incidents like "NGDO using children as bait for Grimm," and "Neptune's hydrophpobia being used as a threat to torture him and the scene is played for comedy."

Theo was cool. I can't wait to see him as written by good writers, he should be a highlight of the Vacuo arc.

I had two hopes for Before the Dawn- "Don't be bad," and "Let Scarlet and Sage be well written." I'd liked how After The Fall had handled some of its characters (barring, y'know, Coco perving on women), especially Fox and Yatsu who were surprising in how much I liked them. I was looking forward to seeing Myers give Sage and Scarlet similar treatment- two relatively nothing characters meant he'd have a blank slate to write them however he wanted, he could give them unique personalties and if nothing else it could be cool to see their Semblances.

And then I read the book. (Sage fans I am so sorry for you, you got baited harder than Johnlock fans)

Scarlet's a giant dickhead in the book. It's his sole character trait and his inner monologues go on, and on, and on about how much he hates Sun, how he revels in mocking him. Most of his dialogue is sarcastic put-downs about Sun and how lame he is, and Sun is never properly allowed to defend himself or point out how going with Blake meant he was able to help save Haven Academy.

(hey remember when Sun in Volume 6 expressly says to Blake "I was a bad leader for ditching Neptune and the others, and I need to work on that" only for Before the Dawn to have him staunchly refuse to accept that he let the team down? I don't think Myers did but I do)

Scarlet being a ratty bitch would be one thing if, again, the franchise had done more rep. He'd still be a badly written character, but it wouldn't sting as much. But because Scarlet is still the only expressly confirmed male LGBT character in canon (the book teases that Nolan is gay but there's never confirmation either way beyond him smiling at Scarlet), it means that he has to represent that entire ideal. So when the one gay man in Remnant is being an asshole and a snide loser, that means that by extension, this is how the franchise sees gay men. And that fucking sucks! I wanted to come out of Before The Dawn singing its praises, I wanted to like the book, but it was a massive letdown, especially coming off of the other big 2020 RWBY controversy involving gay characters.

Yeah. We're doing this.

Clover and Fair Game: Technically not queerbaiting. BUT:

Let's pre-empt this: Clover wasn't queerbaiting, and Fair Game, while cool and I dig it, kudos to them for becoming one of the top 5 RWBY pairings on AO3 in one year that's fucking impressive (I say with mild malice as an IronQrow main), never had a chance. The writing never seriously boosted it barring one interaction which was flirty (them talking in the lobby of the Schnee Manor), and everything else was out of show boosting through the social media teams and CRWBY hyping it themselves by saying they liked it. If you wanna blame people, blame the animators who went off-script with stuff like Kim Newman adding the wink as a deliberate nod to the Volume 4 waitress, or the social media team deliberately using the same policies for Fair Game as they do for Renora and Bumblebee.

It wasn't Eddy's fault that things escalated, and he himself has said that in retrospect, he should have warned people that this never had a shot.

But I can't blame the Fair Game fanbase. Because Fair Game took off like wildfire. It came right as the fanbase began seriously asking for more male rep, Qrow's pretty hot, and the Clover wink came right after the Great IronQrow Reawakening of November 9th, 2019. The rocket was primed, and they rode it to the moon. Finally, to these people, after seven years RWBY seemed to be doing something with mlm rep in show. People started getting into RWBY just for Clover and Qrow's interactions. And if heroes were boring, Watts and Tyrian also had a fantastic dynamic that made Nuts and Volts one of the more popular villain ships overnight. Things seemed to be turning around! RWBY was remembering that gay men existed! You could hear the choir sing!

... And for those people, that meant that episode 12 hit like Truck-Kun.

People got pissed. People were horrified. And it didn't help that some members of CRWBY had said in the build-up that episode 12 would have some shots that made them nauseous (probably the Tyrian thumb thing) Out of context, it looked to these fans like CRWBY were basically laughing at their suffering, like they were saying "Lol, you thought you had a chance, get fucked, I hope your vomit burns on the way up."

Yeah, Fair Game was never gonna be canon, and I think some people ran too far with it. But in the wider context of how desperate RWBY's mlm community had gotten for basic crumbs of content? I can see why they'd run with what they had. The writers aren't at fault for what happened, but CRWBY didn't help matters. And that desperate mix of what felt like official backing from the crew, jokes about how cute the ship was, and the hope that finally the show would have onscreen rep? I can see why people ran with it.

So why is the show more lackluster in depicting mlm characters?

Money. Let's be honest, most RWBY fans don't care if the show doesn't have good male rep. I'm willing to bet some of you reading this won't care and just dismiss it as not being that big a problem. I don't think the writers care if the show doesn't have good mlm rep because they're not poaching that market. They're after what they see as a bigger, more lucrative market, which in this case is female LGBT rep. That gets people buying games, watching shows, raising awareness and boosting awareness of your property, which means you make more money. In short: Two women kissing hits more markets and generates more attention than two men.

Am I saying that Miles, Monty and Kerry deliberately sat down seven years ago and said "We're not doing gay men because it won't generate enough ad revenue and traffic to be worth the loss in revenue from homophobes?" No, that's silly. But I'm saying that it's less important for them, and it shows in the things that are small and add up. Things like Miles not verifying Scarlet's sexuality or retweeting the manga account's confirmation to spread the message (compared to how he enthusiastically confirmed Ilia being a lesbian himself during the Reddit AMA). It shows in how Pilot Boi would have been the first mlm character only to die in his second full episode until M&K were told about the Bury Your Gays trope. It shows in how Shannon believes that Ozma is "megaqueer" and Miles jokingly laughs it off instead of confirming it, leaving it to just be Shannon's headcanon. It shows in how actor shipping is compared between the mlm and wlw ships, where Arryn and Barbara's frequent pushes for Bumblebee are seen as "official confirmation that it's endgame" while Michael and Kerry saying they enjoy Seamonkeys is treated as "well it would be cute if they did it, but they're never going to."

I'm not gonna say anything like "CRWBY are gonna have Qrow end up with a woman like Robyn out of spite against the bad apples of the Fair Game crowd." I'm not gonna say that I don't think CRWBY cares about male representation in the series. It is, however, definitely a low priority for them, and because that leads to gaffes like Scarlet's writing in Before The Dawn being offensive in his depiction, it only makes the contrast between the sexes all the more painfully apparent.

I'm kinda tired of waiting for Rooster Teeth to show that they do care about mlm. I'm kinda tired of RWBY's male rep being written like it came from a 1993 time capsule where I have to enhance the screen to see a guy holding a sign of Sun's abs or be content with the only onscreen rep still being the plant bois in Volume 5. I'm tired of how often the crew dances around answering basic questions about sexuality (and age, and birthdays, and heights, and so on) by treating it as a spoiler question, as if just wanting to know what way people swing would ever be a spoiler. I'm just... tired of all this. When the best mlm rep in Rooster Teeth's history remains the two dads in Camp Camp who show up in a few episodes, that should say something really bad about your company and your biases (To say nothing of the recent Red vs Blue seasons and their blatant queerbaiting for Grif and Simmons and the whole can of worms that is Donut).

I'd like to not feel like I'm borderline unwelcome because I'd like to see two men in this show kiss, and that the sole thing that represents people like me in this show is some British twat who complains about sand.

I'd just like to feel like my sexuality isn't a joke to Rooster Teeth (or at the very least, be like Donut and have it be a funny one). But at this point after the last few years? I feel like a very uncomfortable punchline to them. And it just sucks.

[nullshocked]

@orlesianapologist Been busy this morning but now I can sit down and talk about this aaaaaaa!

I'm putting it under a cut to spare my dash. But:

My Process(TM) for Getting That Shit Edited

Step 1: Write the Draft

Like obviously you need a base to work from. I won't tell you how to draft your stuff, because everyone approaches it differently. I try not to focus too much on how something looks or sounds when I am writing a rough draft because fixing it and making it nice is what revisions are for. Sometimes when I write drafts I skip over details and just try to get the action down on paper.

I also have a habit of outlining SECOND rather than outlining first because that's what works for me: I write drafts in what I've seen Chuck Wendig describe as the bring your flashlight method of plotting a story, where I have a vague idea, kinda sketch it out either in the document or in my head, and write from there. (I found this post from him like ten years ago and have found it to be very valuable. Your mileage may vary of course, and what works for one person may not work for someone else.)

Step 2: Rewrites

You have a draft! I'm so proud of you! Now write it again. Writing is rewriting is rewriting. We know the saying.

I focus on fleshing out parts of the story I didn't flesh out the first time around, or adding in details that I didn't think of the first time. Sometimes there's a lot of me planting in FORESHADOWING(tm) that I didn't do the first time because I hadn't thought of it yet. This necessarily tends to balloon my wordcount because of how I tend to write, but it's fine.

I do at this point also take into account what I'm going to call Structural Edits. (I think that's a film term? idk someone probably uses this. Or I might sound insane.) That's the part where I move chunks of the story around for better narrative flow, or remove superfluous chunks that don't fit in. At this stage I am not concerned with how it reads, I am concerned with the plot beats and getting as much detail in as I think is important.

Step 3: Scribble All Over That Shit

It's a little bit of a running joke that I do this stage of editing like a total weirdo. I prefer to print things out because working with paper is easier for me, but you can do this however you want: comments in googledocs/word/etc, make it a pdf and write highlights, etc. Recently when I did this I made the file into a PDF, then turned THAT into image files and draw all over them in photoshop because physical notes help me. Yeah idk either.

This is the stage where I go line by line and pick things apart. I'll list what I look for and why, but this is by no means a hard and fast rule and please do not take my preferences as the arbiter of what makes good fiction. If I made good fiction, I'd be published in something non-academic.

╰┈➤ Paragraph Construction: Everything I talk about after this will largely feed into constructing paragraphs, so I'm gunna start with it. Words matter, as so does the word order. Sentence order also matters. I have a habit sometimes of placing just whatever details I think of down, and it doesn't always flow with the rest of the paragraph it's in. Take it out, rearrange it, use it in a new paragraph. I underline stuff like this to rearrange as needed.

╰┈➤ Sentence Structure As Mood Music: Now into the nitty gritty! How you structure sentences is SUPER helpful for conveying emotion. A lot of the last piece I wrote had structures where Jack is feeling extremely anxious, so there are parts where I let sentences run on and into each other to help convey his anxious mental state. Shorter sentences can hit harder and faster. Longer ones can feel meandering or dreamlike. It's all in the language and the structure. If you wanna be seriously annoying about it, there are entire courses on syntax you can look into.

╰┈➤ Sublimation vs. In Your Face: So the whole "show don't tell" argument is fucking annoying and I don't really pay much attention to it anymore. So my rule for stuff is this: what is a character trying to hide, versus what are they more obvious about? If someone is manipulative and cruel, I'm not going to fucking point that out in the text. I try to work that into how they move, speak, and react to a situation. Body language and expression. All of that. If something is more obvious, then I make it more obvious. I might have the POV character outright state that they think someone is acting manipulatively if they think that's what's happening. I think that's far more useful as a storytelling tool personally and also lets a clever reader piece together little details as they go, which is frankly more engaging.

╰┈➤ Adverbs (-ly) words: This is preference and there's lots of arguments for why it's fine to keep these in. For me, I find that I tend to rely on adverbs in spaces where I can stand to be more descriptive. I usually circle the ones I find on the page and then in the next step I'll look at them and see how I feel. If the adverb feels like the best choice for that moment, I leave it. If I feel like I can use a better word or description, I change it. That's entirely up to you and what you prefer!

╰┈➤ Commas, commas, commas: I tend to learn toward a LOT of comma splices when I write drafts, which leads to a lot of long and confusing sentences. I do try to eliminate some of these if I feel like a passage is harder to follow. Others I leave if they suit the mood.

╰┈➤ The rest of it: Lastly, I just look for how things are worded. Sometimes I see a sentence and I just hate how it reads, so I underline it to see if I can do something better with it. Sometimes I don't like how a scene is flowing so I make a note of it. I also make what I will call "stage notes" in the margins for things I am trying to convey, like "Jack in this scene is feeling very anxious because of x thing" or "this is a tense situation" etc. This is for me to remember when I go to do the next step so I can make sure I am getting across the information I am trying to get across.

Woof, that's a lot. Okay so...

Step 4: Rewrites Two: The Rewritening

WRITING IS REWRITING IS REWRITING— anyway.

So this is the full revision process. Take your notes (however you decided to compile them) and get through and make those changes. Sometimes you will come across other things to fix in the process and that's perfectly fine. Sometimes you may decide not to go with something you made a note of before and that's also fine. But this is where you are making your little tweaks and making it better. There's not a lot to this phase.

Step 5: Optional Beta

I don't tend to ask people to beta read my stuff because I am an impatient asshole and just want to finish it. Don't be me. Find a trusted friend and ask them to read over your work. They don't need to dig into huge details at this stage unless something is just really not coming together for whatever reason. Getting another pair of eyes to make sure something is flowing the way it should is very helpful. A scene may make sense in your head, but another person may have difficult parsing what you're trying to say.

Also my dumbass ADHD brain has a problem with things like missing typos when I go to correct, or leaving out entire words because my brain mentally skips over them, so someone who can find those for me and point it out is helpful.

Step 6: Final Tweaks

Find your typos and missing words. Make sure your punctuation is in the right places. Make any final adjustments you want. You've got this I'm so proud of you. It's not a big thing, mainly just combing to be thorough.

And that's it! You're done! Go forth.

Additional Notes

╰┈➤ Take your time with a piece. I know it's extremely tempting to put something up as soon as it's done. I've speedran finishing fics for a laugh. But between each of these steps, it's a good idea to let the draft sit for a day or two before returning to it with fresh eyes. It's good for your brain and also it'll help you find shit you may otherwise miss because you're too close to it.

╰┈➤ Rough drafts are rough drafts. They're allowed to suck. The entire point of editing and revision is to make it not suck. This was a lesson I really had to beat into my skull so I wouldn't get discouraged from finishing anything.

╰┈➤ Writing is not one size fits all. I do all these steps because that is what personally works for me. I look for the things I do in my nitty-gritty editing because those are personal preferences. Do not take any of this as a hard and fast rule, but rather as insight for how to develop your own process.

╰┈➤ Like a hypocrite, I did not edit any of this post. That's not really important, I just thought it was funny and you should know that.

╰┈➤ I've said this elsewhere, but READ!! Read lots of books! Read different eras and genres of books! Reading will teach you how to be a better writer. Reading theory is also nice if you like, but really just read a bunch of authors and think on their stories. Learn from how they write, and apply those lessons.

THAT'S IT SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.

My writing advice is to learn how to self-edit your work. It's a skill that takes time and practice to develop but it helps so fucking much. I probably edit way more than is necessary for my fanfic but tbh it's also my practice for learning how to edit my other writing.

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

A - Z 🤍🤍

I’m assuming this means all the asks! So buckle up LOL. And thank you for taking an interest in lil ole me. 

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Since you didn’t specify which title, I’m just going to talk about how I come up with titles in general. Normally, they happen one of two ways. Either I will come up with a title I think sounds cool out of the blue and then base a fic of its vibes, or I will write a fic to completion before deciding on a title. I like to use something that one of the characters say in this situation. It feels very full circle to me, if you will. 

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Unfortunately, my life is nowhere near as cool as the characters’ lives I write about. So no, I can’t say that my stories are based off personal experience. Unless you count me naming side characters my middle name every so often to indulge myself oops. 

C: What member do you identify with most?

I guess by member it means character? And to be honest, I’m not really sure. I relate a lot to Spencer Reid I suppose, because I have never been popular and have always been a target for whatever shit life throws at me. I also like to think I’m kinda intelligent? Although if you look at my grade in my stats class right now, idk what to tell you-

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Since there was no specific fic asked about, I can’t really answer this one! But to be honest, I don’t think there are any fics that I have written that I associated with songs. 

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

The first one that came to mind is Guest Speaker. If I wrote a part three for that, it would probably be fluffy domestic cute stuff with Spencer. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I don’t even know what it was…it happened so fast. Did you kill it, Geralt?” Jaskier asked in a huff. Geralt crossed his arms, and shook his head. “I figured I should make sure you didn’t die first, bard.” Jaskier nodded, a simple “Ah,” leaving his lips. “Well, no matter. You can fix me right?” 

He sounded like he was poking fun at the situation, but I could hear the fear in his words. I decided to try and make him smile before I did this next part. It would be painful.

“Anything for Geralt of Rivia and his emotional support bard.”

(This was just really funny to me for some reason, and I feel like I did a good job with their characterizations! And then Y/N comes back with the emotional support bard comment and it’s something I would say in real life. From this fic.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends on my mood! Sometimes if I’m frustrated with a story or a scene, I’ll write them out of order based on what type of thing I feel like writing. But I would say 75% of the time I write my fics in order.

H: How would you describe your style?

To be honest, I have no idea. Do I even have a style? I just write stuff and hope that people read it and like it. 

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Happy endings pfft. So cliche, but like- they make me happy. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that day and want to make an ending a complete train wreck >:) 

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

In this fic...I would let reader live LMAO. But like- I was feeling angsty that day okay-

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Reader dying at the end of the fic LMAO, in the fic linked in the previous one above this one.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uhh 😬 Maybe once? If that 😅 I’m usually so excited to post that I just kinda go ahead and click post and hope for the best. I rely on spell check and grammar check a lot 💀And I just hope my story flows well.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I don’t think so! I keep my to do list public so everyone can see what fics I have planned. The only two I don’t have on there are the ones for the upcoming fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins ‘s discord! But that’s cuz they’re secret :)

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I wish that I would finish the 85486824 WIPS I have, does that count? And that I would write down all the ideas I have in my head that I haven’t even given words yet. 

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Ooh this is a tough one. I’m not really sure how to answer it actually. There have been fics that I come up with a general idea for a plot for first, and then others I will decide what characters I wanna write for before I have any clue as to what the plot might be. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Oh I am 100% the type of writer to let the story unfold as I go. I have outlined two, maybe three of my fics? And then I didn’t even follow through with them because I had more ideas come to me as I was writing. 

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I would literally LOVE to collab with someone!

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

There are a ton, and I am so sorry if I missed any! @imagining-in-the-margins @randomfandomimagine @reidetic @lexieshuntingsstuff @writing-in-april @reidgraygubler @zhuzhubii @dreatine @andiebeaword @dontkissthewriter @spencers-dria @sunlight-moonrise @personofsinterest @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff @reidlusts @itslatinamagia

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Oh boy! 😅 There was only one bed, mutual pining, manic pixie dream girl, kissed to keep quiet, just to name a few!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Not that I can think of! 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

But I have way more than three :’( @imagining-in-the-margins is definitely the first one off the top of my head. Last year I was in a really bad spot, and she invited me to her Discord, and it helped me get back into writing. Plus I made some life long friends in the server. @writing-in-april I love her sm because she is always around when I need her, and it’s nice to have a friend that thinks fairly similarly to me. @lexieshuntingsstuff and @reidgraygubler go hand in hand! They are the best sprinting buddies a girl could ask for. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Ooh this is a tough one. I can’t think of any off the top of my head! Lame answer, I know 😅

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Definitely more specific ones lol. It makes it a lot easier on me. 

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Reader >:))

Y: A character you want to protect.

SPENCER REID AND JASKIER OKAY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

Again- Spencer and Jaskier. I will not TOLERATE THEIR ERASURE !! 

[dungeons-bat]

Actress (2nd Chap)

Warnings: None.

The complete fic

---------------------------------------------

“So, when do you live the firm?” - Tom and I had been talking for some months now, I could say that we were really friends, but we had not even trade phone numbers, we just talk via Instagram. I’ve been to his house twice, one after a party because I had lost my keys, and the other one he needed to change, and I was with him. “Today I leave at seven, why?” - But he was an amazing company. “I was just wondering if you’d be interested in going to have dinner with me…” - Wait, what? Tom Hiddleston asking me if I want to have dinner with him? It’s a huge yes, colleague. “OH, yeah, sure, what time?” - I need at least half an hour to get presentable. “Are you comfortable with eight? Or maybe eight thirty?” - He knows the getting ready rules, good. “Eight sounds perfect.” - And when I confirmed the time, panic hit me. I don’t have many expensive clothes, but I have a great amount of fancy ones. I don’t wear make up, but should I wear some to dinner. I mean, is just dinner, it is not a date. “It’s settled then. I’ll pick you up. Do you have any restaurant preference?” - How can someone be so gentile. “Oh, no, I do not. But do not bother in picking me up, I can get an Uber.” - I mean, I don't want him to lose his time driving me. “Oh, if you’re not uncomfortable about me doing so, I do insist in picking you up, Isa.” - He is definitely a gentleman, is he not? “Fine, you won! I’ll send you the address later then.” - It was a bit strange to be going out with someone like him. I mean, I saw him actin the first time when I was eighteen. Since then, he became so famous. It was already strange talking to him, becoming his friend was even stranger., but having dinner with him? It was panicking. None of that is bad, but who would predict that me, a nobody, would have contact with such guy? Because I did not. “Oh, I’m so sorry Tom, but I need to go to work, see you at night.” - I was actually five minutes late, but my boss would understand. No, she would not, but I said it was the traffic. I spent the whole day thinking about what I should dress, what makeup to put on, what shoes, but then I remembered, where am I going? I decided to send Tom a message. ‘Hey Tom, how you doing? I would like to know if you already know where are we going tonight. If you do not, please give me a hint when you do.’ and he quickly answered, ‘Hi Isa, I was thinking about The Gaston, what do you think? Do you have other suggestions?’ - The Gaston? That was probably the most expensive restaurant in the city. ‘The Gaston? You sure? The place is so expensive.’ - I think the glass of water there costs my kidney. ‘If you have a better place… But I’m paying.’ - I can’t let him do that, can I. ‘Tom, come on, I’m not letting you pay the bill alone.’ - I said. ‘Well, then you have two options, you can either cancel, or let me pay. Your choice’ - I can’t believe he’s doing that. ‘Fine, it’s on you, but next time I’m not even letting you bring your wallet.’ - Is there going to be a next time? ‘That’s fine, I can transfer money, Isa’

“You look gorgeous.” - Thomas was at my door, and I was a bit ashamed because he was perfect, and the watch he was wearing could probably pay my flat. But he did not seem to be bored at all, at least I knew how to dress. I was wearing a black dress, my hair was done, but I let it the most natural way possible, and I had some jewellery, of course, can’t get out of my house without them, but these I did not use them that much, just special occasions. Tom looked breathtaking, he was wearing a grey suit, a black shirt and grey tie also. This man is going to be the death of me. “Wow, you’re magnificent Tom, you look amazing in suits.” - I hope my face did not give away the fact that I was amazed and probably in love. “Noted, wearing those more then.” - So he was interested in looking good for me, then? Interesting and also noted. “Well, shaw we?” - He asked. “Sure.”

“Do you drink wine?” - No, Thomas, I don’t drink. Usually… “Not all times, but today, yes, I do drink wine.” - So he handed me the wine list. “Oh no, you better do it. I don’t know how to choose it, Thomas.” - So he looked at me strangely. “Thomas, it sounds strange.” - I kinda forgot that they call him Tom. “Oh, sorry.” - I got a bit embarrassed. “Oh don't, I like the way it sounds. Specially when you say it.” - So I blushed. “Someone got shy, hahaha. Hey don’t worry, I just meant that your voice it's pretty, and I like the way you say my name, no big deal, miss.” - And I could feel my face just getting hotter. “OK, let's choose the wine, will you help me?” - It was pretty clear that he saw that I was dying inside. “Sure, I think red suits the occasion better, am I wrong?” - I tried to act normally. “And you said you don't know how to choose. What do you think about ‘Vega Sicilia Único’?” - That’s actually the one I was interested in. “I believe that’s the best option.” - And saying so, I just kept looking at my shoes. Tom had seen that I was oddly quiet and pretty shy. He tried to act normally as well, so he just asked the waiter for the wine and the food, which we were sharing both, by the way. “So, why’d asked me to have dinner with you? Not that I’m complaining, just wondering.” - He is Thomas Hiddleston, he could be having dinner with any pretty lady in the country. Why had he asked me? ‘Why would I not ask my newest friend to spend some time with me?” - Smart answer. That’s kinda obvious, I don’t know why I’m I so freaked out about it. “Any news about acting?” - He asked. “Not actually. It’s not like I seek job, Tom, I dropped the acting idea because it's not a safe choice. But if someone offered me something, I would accept it for sure. Although I don’t know if I would have time, I work all day, you know…” - I explained to him. “And what if someone got you a job, a year and a half or something.” - Suspicious. “Why?” - I mean what? “I mean, you could be financially stable for more than a year, you would not need to work anywhere else. It's just a speculation, not asking for any specific reason.” - Fair enough. “I would say bye to the firm and start the work at the same time, hahahaha. Thomas, acting is something that I love. Not that I cont like law, I love it so badly, but one single job would not ruin my law career. As long as we don’t have any nude scenes.” - I explained. “Fair enough Isabela. But I can tell you, once you do your first scene, you won't be able to stop.” - Hearing my name is kinda strange, but I kinda like it as well. “I would be able because anyone would ask me to work for them, mister Thomas.” - So he did that same look, when he disagrees with something. “Well, I’ve seen that I won't be able to convince you that you’re great, so I have a proposal for you.” - What proposal? “First, you’ve only seen me acting once, at your house, and we were both too happy for any judgement, and second, what is the proposal.” - I was interested. “We were happy? We were drunk. We were very drunk, you had lost your keys at a party for god’s sake. But I was incredibly capable of judging, miss.” - And he started to laugh, I could not help but laugh too. “So, what’s the proposal, Tom?” - Man, I was curious, he would not drop that in the air if it was nothing. “So, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say everything I’m about to say, but let's go. One of the companies I work for need an actress who’s going to act like a seventeen-year-old girl, I thought you’d be up for the challenge.” - He said. “And what company would that be?” - I can’t just say ‘yes’ without knowing what it is. “It may or may not be Marvel.” - I gasped, Marvel? Like Marvel Studios? “Just please don’t tell anyone, I could get in trouble, because there’s only a few female characters that should be that age, so it is a huge spoiler.” - What characters? “I have no idea of who soul be seventeen, but Thomas, Marvel is huge, they would never accept someone like me, who is not even an actress…” - I mean, why would they even. “Isa, think about it, you’d be

doing a great role, Marvel would not have to pay you a huge salary, since you’re not known, which is good for them.” - He has a point. “Tom, how could I even get an audition? It’s Marvel!” - It makes no sense. “Well, if you were interested in coming to the studio with me three weeks from now, you could do the audition, and we could see if you’re the newest Marvel actress. I’ll send you the lines you need to memorize and that’s it.” - Oh my, that easy? “Lord, yes, I would love to. Really, Thomas, I don’t know how to thank you.” - This is amazing. “You don't have to. We don’t even know if they will give you the job. Calm down hahaha. The food arrived, let's eat, shaw we?” - He asked. “Yeah, sure.” - I was so excited. “But hey, think about it, if you get the role, your life will change completely. Paparazzi everywhere, people saying good and bad things about you, every single post you wanna share in any social media has to be thought one million times, revised and re-revised, because peoplepeople may end up misinterpreting you.. The acting world it’s amazing, especially when you’re making films like these. But it has its flaws.”

‘Hi Tom, I’m sorry to be sending you this right now, I know it’s late, but I’m a bit nervous. What should I wear for the audition?’ - I tried to hold myself until the next morning, but I had to let everything ready for the next day, so about one hour Thomas dropped me at home, I sent him that message. ‘Hi, don’t worry, I just got out of my bath, so not sleeping. Feel free to message me any time, by the way. I think you should wear something that will complicate your performance, so no jeans. I also recommend you not to go with shorts. As for the top, any shirt will do, just think about your performance, if it can make it hard for you to move, don't wear it. If you need anything else, just ask.’ - He did not even take a minute to answer. ‘Thanks you Thomas, have a great night’ - I started blushing when I started to think about him, and the idea of him getting out of the shower was both embarrassing and hot. Isabela, put yourself together, respect the man. ‘Have a nice night, Isa. See you.’

[artificialqueens]

Worlds Collide, Chapter 5.1 (Biadore/Witney) - Albatross

AN: Well…this got long. Enough that it has to be posted in at least two parts and even after all these months, its still not entirely written. But hopefully I’ll have the second part finished and posted soon. Until then, thanks for staying with me 💜

Adore was like a breath of fresh air.

She brought a sort of lightness and laughter to Bianca’s life, not unlike how Shangela and Courtney did. She was always there with a beaming smile and a word of encouragement whenever Bianca needed it. And whatever she said, she meant, Bianca realized soon enough. She wasn’t one for subtleties, if she liked or disliked something, she had no problem saying it. If she thought one of the outfits Bianca was working on was absolutely hideous, she’d let her know. Always with a joke or teasing grin to follow soon after, but she was honest and Bianca appreciated that.

More than she ever thought she would.

It was nice not to have to guess so much or try to investigate via her powers. No, she only tried going into Adore’s mind twice and the mental spam she was bombarded with was quite enough, thank you very much. But whatever Adore was feeling at any given moment was fairly obvious, at least to her. She liked that simplicity.

And it wasn’t long before Bianca realized that Adore idolized her. She hung on Bianca’s every word, whether it be theater talk, related to schoolwork, or even just chatting about some TV show. She listened as though every syllable was the most interesting thing in the world and admittedly, Bianca loved that feeling.

It was a nice little ego boost.

As for Adore, it was hard not to look up to Bianca. She seemed so self-assured and confident. Calm and collected. People relied on her…why wouldn’t Adore want to be around someone like that? That wasn’t to say that people didn’t rely on Adore as well but at times she felt more like a pack mule than someone that actually contributed anything of value. Oftentimes she was asked to teleport to retrieve things or drop them off somewhere. An errand girl basically. But people respected Bianca’s opinions and that was what Adore admired most.

And, despite how emphatically Bianca denied it, she was kind. More than she ever liked to let on. It was a quiet, subtle kindness or buffered by extremely sarcastic comments but it was there all the same. Adore would see it in the way that Bianca would work extra hours to get an outfit just right to make a cast member happy, how she’d sometimes cover for other stage workers’ mistakes, when she’d lend out her notes without a second thought to a total stranger, and in the way she always tolerated Adore’s presence.

Adore knew she could be a bit too enthusiastic, too moody, even too combative at times. But Bianca was patient with her. She understood what Adore was feeling and let her express that. And she’d always try to help or talk to her whenever she could. Sometimes Adore just needed a sounding board and Bianca allowed that.

It was nice to feel like someone understood her.

Whenever Adore needed to get out of her head for a while, Bianca was always there to suggest an activity. Sometimes she let Adore help design her sketches, other times she taught Adore simple sewing techniques, but her latest proposal encouraged Adore to pick up an old pastime.

Instead of letting things fester, Bianca suggested trying her hand at writing lyrics again. She hadn’t written anything since moving to the school, at least not seriously, but once she began, it was like finding a lost piece of herself. It turned out to be more cathartic than she remembered.

Sure, her first attempts were a bit rough in the beginning but as she reviewed and revised, it all began to flow together. It felt as natural as a breeze whistling through the trees or a fish swimming in the cool creek water.

Before long, Bianca even supplied her with a notebook she picked up specially for her. It was filled with unlined pages and absolutely perfect for Adore’s dramatically slanting handwriting and tendency to scribble along the borders. Bianca even decorated the cover before giving it to her. 

The moment Adore saw it and flipped through the blank pages, she knew it was perfect. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she beamed brightly at Bianca and gave her a very grateful, “Thanks!”

The pair grew closer and closer, enough that it was a rare sight not to see them together after classes had ended for the day. Oftentimes Adore could be found backstage with Bianca (along with Courtney) or the two would visit the greenhouse and even more frequently, they’d spend long hours talking into the night in Bianca’s room. Sure, others joined them as well but Adore always stayed the longest. Not that Bianca minded.

She was glad to have found Adore. She valued her as much as she had Shangela and Courtney.

The day she realized that, she felt odd about it. She hadn’t expected someone to become so important to her so soon…not after she was still getting over Shangela. But here Adore was; now one of her closest friends and in only a few months…almost as quickly as she and Shangela had connected with each other.

But Adore did have that way about her. She drew Bianca in and made her curious. Made her want to see Adore happy.

It felt good to care about someone like that again and to have the sentiment returned.

For the first time in a long while, Bianca felt normal again.

******

It was another typical afternoon for the pair; Bianca working on the latest batch of adjustments for the musical’s costumes and Adore sitting on the old, beaten couch, hunched over her notebook. Usually when she was like this, she was rapidly scribbling away notes, filling up the page with rough drafts and hasty edits. Today however, her pen was mostly still, aside from the occasional impatient tapping.

Her expression was distant and confused as she lost herself inside her own head. She was clearly mulling over something, but as to what, Bianca had no clue. When she had to walk over towards the rack of clothes nearest Adore, Bianca snuck a quick peek over her shoulder. There were a lot of scribbles and a lot of crossing out but very little of anything that looked usable. Even that much Bianca could see.

Writer’s block again, she thought with a soft, sympathetic smile.

Adore was so withdrawn in her headspace she hadn’t even realized Bianca was standing next to her. The playful ruffling of her hair took her by surprise.

“Whatcha thinking about so hard, hun?” Bianca asked with a teasing grin. Adore’s hand quickly flew up to bat hers away. She took a short sidestep to rifle through the rack of clothes but she still kept a careful eye over her shoulder.

“I just…I can’t get it to sound right,” Adore complained, flopping backwards into the cushions. “Like, I know what I want to say but I just…can’t find the right words.”

Bianca let out a noise of understanding and thought for a moment. Pulling out the next piece she wanted to work on, she suggested, “Why not just take a break then? Fussing over it’s doing no good. Maybe just take a step back and work on something else for a while? Might help.”

“I’m gonna have to,” Adore conceded in a grumble. “It’s going nowhere right now.”

She shifted her weight as Bianca walked back to her work station. She kept it surprisingly organized considering how often she moved things around or laid them out for later. Adore marveled at how efficient she was. She always seemed to be a step (or three) ahead in everything she did. It was amazing.

Adore mused over the fact that she had never seen Bianca unprepared for any situation she encountered, no matter how sudden. She always seemed to know exactly what people wanted, even if they themselves didn’t know just yet. Then another thought struck her entirely…they’d known each other for months and Adore still had no idea what Bianca’s power was.

Actually, she wasn’t sure if anyone knew.

No one ever talked about it as far as she could remember. For most students, they’d mention it or demonstrate their power sooner or later. Some actively showed it off or had a practical use for it, like Courtney and Shangela repairing the school’s landscaping or working in the greenhouse…even Adore would often teleport whenever she felt the need to.

But not once was she aware of ever hearing Bianca talking about her power or using it…she was rather curious now…and it would provide something else to think about that didn’t involve stressing over this latest song.

“Hey, B.”

“Yeah, baby?”

Adore’s lips curled into a small smile when she heard the pet name. Bianca loved to pepper them in, she never really bothered for most anyone else, bar Courtney, and it made her feel kinda special. Pushing that thought aside for now, Adore asked, “What’s your power anyway? You’ve never told me.”

“You never asked,” Bianca replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Never thought about it.”

Bianca laughed in spite of trying to wrestle with the fabric to sit right on the mannequin. “All these months and now you’re curious?”

“Yeah,” Adore said, now sitting up properly to watch her friend work.

Sparing a quick glance in Adore’s direction as she carefully maneuvered the garment into its proper position, Bianca asked, “Is this just a distraction or-?”

“I wanna know,” Adore assured her, a warm smile resting on her lips as her eyes lit up with sincerity. ��But if you don’t wanna talk about it, I-”

“It’s fine.”

Huh, Adore thought, She almost looked like she was throwing her voice when she said that.

But she knew that was wrong. She was just so tired and distracted from this writer’s block that she was seeing things.

So she waited another few seconds for Bianca to continue speaking but when nothing came, she asked, “So are you gonna tell me?”

Bianca blinked in confusion for a moment, cocking her head to the side as she stared at Adore from the other side of the mannequin. “I just showed you,” she said calmly.

“What?” Adore exclaimed. “I missed it! Do it again.”

Bianca rolled her eyes, placed her hands on her hips, and said “Fine.” Adore heard her say it. But nothing seemed to happen. Bianca didn’t budge an inch nor did it seem like anything else in the room was immediately affected.

Adore continued to watch her friend expectantly, waiting for any sign of her powers activating, but nothing caught her attention. She even darted her eyes around the room in case there was a hint elsewhere but she saw nothing. “Did you do it?” she asked again.

“Oh my god,” Bianca grumbled.

Marching away from the mannequin, she strode up to Adore, tilted her chin up so they were looking each other directly in the eye, and said, “Watch me.”

Adore did. Intently. It was hard not to look at her, especially when she was so close. But what did Bianca want her to watch? Her eyes? No, they were the same warm, chocolatey brown they’d always been. Nothing unusual there.

Her lips?

They were still coated in that beautiful, perfect shade of burgundy lip matte as earlier. They hadn’t even so much as twitched-“Oh!”

“Get it?” Bianca asked with a smirk, now stepping back. Her lips definitely had not moved when she said that. But all the same, Adore could hear her clear as day.

“So you…you can go into people’s minds?” she clarified.

“Yeah,” Bianca replied casually, heading back to her work station to resume her adjustments to the outfit.

Adore lit up with the information. All at once she had a million questions to ask and blurted them as soon as she thought of them, “Like everyone, all at once? One at a time? What’s it like? How far away do you have to be? Can you-”

“Hold on, just calm down,” Bianca laughed, “One question at a time, alright?”

Adore gave her an apologetic smile and took a moment to reign in her thoughts. Certain things she knew she wanted to ask right away so that seemed to be the best place to begin. “Okay, so…can you go into everyone’s mind?”

“Yeah, for some people there’s a bit of resistance getting in but I haven’t had anyone stop me yet.”

Huh, Adore thought to herself. Wonder what she means by resistance? Mm. But she quickly moved onto her next biggest question, “Is it, like, all the time with everyone or-”

“It’s one at a time,” Bianca explained patiently, “and only when I want to. Otherwise, all you fuckers would have driven me crazy by now. Well, more than you do already.”

Adore flipped her off with a wide, toothy grin. Of course Bianca would make a joke out of it but there was probably a good bit of truth to what she said. She could only imagine how draining it would be to hear everyone’s inner thoughts at all hours of the day. It’d be enough to drive anyone batty in just a week. Leaning forward in her seat, Adore continued, “So do you have to be real close to them or can you do it from anywhere?” Then lighting up with a deep interest, she asked, “Could you pick someone from town and read their mind from here?”

Laughing, Bianca shook her head and continued moving her hands deftly along the garment. As she marked certain areas with her brightly colored pins, she stated, “There is a limit. No more than a few feet away is best. Then I don’t have to do as much work to keep the connection going…” She paused for a moment to concentrate on pinning the hem but soon resumed what she was saying. “But I’ve gotten it up to a few hundred feet before. The connection usually breaks by then cause it’s too hard to maintain it and try to dig through their memories at the same time…but it’s possible, I guess.”

Adore nodded absently and mused to herself for a moment. She watched as Bianca pulled the outfit back off the mannequin and set it on the only clear space at her work table. She was threading her sewing machine with the proper color and filling her bobbin when Adore thought to finally ask, “What’s it like in there?”

Bianca turned away from her machine to look Adore in the eye, she knew sooner or later this question was likely to come. Almost everyone asked once they knew about her powers. She still had yet to find an answer she really liked. But here was another chance to try. “Well…that’s a bit hard to answer.” Her fingers drummed across her thigh as she explained in a carefully slow manner, “Everyone’s different. It really depends on their personality and thought process, I guess. Take Raven, for example, her memories are always very straightforward but they’re all flat at first. Like the scenery we use for the stage…But once I spend more time in there, the emotions she connects to each memory starts to come out and everything gets more depth. Then I can try to figure out the meaning behind everything.”

Adore nodded like she was hanging off every word and she probably was. Bianca’s lips curled into a small smile as she offered another example. “Katya, on the other hand, is totally different from that. She’s like one of those flip books for animation. The kind where you turn the pages really fast to make the picture move? Except for her, each page can have a detail be just a little altered or it can be totally and completely different. Like changing from a bouncing ball to a bright green elephant and then back again. It just depends on what she’s thinking about and how much.”

“Have you gone into Courtney’s mind?” Adore suddenly asked.

“Yeah. Hers is like…playing hopscotch and running a marathon at the same time. Each thought is like a single block and sometimes it goes in a straight line, skipping from one thought to the next, but then out of nowhere, you have to make a mile long side jump. And if she’s really thinking about something? It’s like trying to run a 5k in under a minute. It’s exhausting,” she grumbled.

“Oh, that’s so cool! What about Alaska?”

“Haven’t gone into hers.”

“Laganja?”

Bianca made a face at the suggestion, “Hell no!”

“Shangela?”

The name struck her like a slap upside the head. A very familiar ache began to rear its ugly head as she said, “Um…it’s like a spiderweb.” Before Adore could even think to ask for a better explanation, Bianca tried to move on with, “But yours is-”

“You’ve gone into mine?”

Adore’s expression was hard to read but Bianca didn’t take much notice. Waving her hand, she said dismissively, “Only twice. Yours is kinda like visiting a spam page without an ad-blocker. Like everything is calm at first but then a bunch of random ads start popping up all around you can’t close out of them. Or sometimes they close out on their own, it just kinda depends on what you’re thinking about, I guess. Like there’s the main thought you’re trying to focus on and then all these other little thoughts bubble out from certain parts, like if a word or something reminds you of anything else, that becomes a pop up and stays there for a while until you move onto another thought. But now picture that times 10. That’s what your brain is like for me.”

“Huh.”

Adore sat silently, still watching Bianca with that strange look. It was a bit unsettling, actually. Enough that Bianca was shifting in her seat. Perhaps she shouldn’t have mentioned that after all?

There was a loaded pause until Adore finally forced back a tense swallow to ask, “B, you said you���ve only gone into my mind twice right?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Shrugging, Bianca simply stated, “Just to see what it’s like really.” And that was the truth, plain as it was.

She gave Bianca another odd look as she cocked her head to the side and asked, “You don’t…always go into people’s minds whenever you feel like it, do you?”

“No, not unless there’s something I want to know.”

Adore shifted in her seat, gave a soft ‘Okay,’ and picked up her notebook again. At first Bianca had hoped she finally broke through her writer’s block and turned back to resume her work. But after a few minutes with only the sound of Adore’s pen tapping on the page and the hum of the sewing machine, it was very apparent that that was not the case.

Bianca just couldn’t shake the feeling that she had said something wrong. She only answered Adore’s questions, right?

But maybe she did say more than she ought to…

Stepping away from her station, she took a seat next to Adore. When she didn’t stop the drumming of her pen or fingers, Bianca called her attention with, “Hey. Adore, look at me.” Reluctantly, Adore did so but not without darting her eyes away once or twice. Softly, Bianca asked, “You’re freaked out by this, aren’t you?”

Adore tried to play it off, but it was true. At first she hadn’t thought much of Bianca going into other people’s minds but after learning Bianca had gone into hers? That changed things. She tried to reason with herself that Bianca wasn’t always in there looking for all her private thoughts and feelings but she couldn’t shake that feeling of violation and vulnerability. After all, she wasn’t even sure just what Bianca did in there…or what she now knew. 

Scooting in closer, Bianca urged her again to look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Adore. I shouldn’t have gone in there without letting you know first. But I promise, I wasn’t looking for anything while I was there. I was just curious at how your mind worked. I didn’t touch or manipulate anything, honest.” Her tone radiated sincerity as she vowed, “And I swear I’m not going into your mind anymore, okay?”

“Really?” Adore gave a cautious smile. 

“Really,” Bianca assured her. Though Adore would never admit it, that smile of Bianca’s pushed aside most of her fear. Even more so when it became accompanied by a teasing, “Besides, it’s not that interesting in there anyway.”

“Bitch!”

******

After learning about Bianca’s powers, it took a few days for Adore to feel totally comfortable again. Even though Bianca assured her she wouldn’t go into her mind again, Adore still felt a constant paranoia lurking in the back of her mind every time they were together. Usually it was a small amount, easily pushed away, but other times, like when writing lyrics, her thoughts would be consumed with wondering if Bianca would break her promise. What if she was reading the lyrics right now? What if she saw what was inspiring them? What if-No!

Bianca promised.

Adore had to have faith in that. After all, Bianca’s never lied to her before. Adore could trust her.

But no matter how often she repeated that, there was always that tiny fear that Bianca would let curiosity get the better of her again, go into Adore’s mind while she was writing, and see all of her most private thoughts. Thoughts that she didn’t quite dare say to Bianca, at least not yet.

She was still confused by them and that had carried over into her writing. Normally, she’d work out the confusion while working on the song. She’d put all of her jumbled thoughts onto paper and reorganize them into something that made sense. It gave her clarity on the situation, whatever it was. But not this time.

No matter how many times she tried writing it down, it just didn’t seem to make sense. She just didn’t understand how she felt about Bianca.

She liked her, sure. Admired her, felt close to her. But was there more?

She thought there might be. In fact, she was pretty sure she did but she had her doubts from time to time. She blamed it on Bianca.

She just left her feeling so confused sometimes. Sure, they’d flirt a little and Bianca always used pet names and teased her and talked to her about everything…but how does Bianca actually feel about her?

Adore couldn’t help but wonder…and oftentimes that wondering took her a little too far into her own daydreams.

She’d replay all the instances of them laying together on the couch or bed, just watching TV or talking. Adore would usually curl into her and Bianca would absently toy with her hair, joking that she needed a touch up with the dye or should take a comb to it again. There was never any bite to what she said, only something to make them both laugh. Then Adore would think about what would happen if just one day she leant up to kiss Bianca or if Bianca tried to kiss her. She’d muse over every detail of what that kiss would feel like, what they’d do during it, where it would go from there. Recently, she’d been imagining it going quite far but then she’d snap back to reality with a very guilty conscience as she realized that Bianca was right there.

And now that Adore knew Bianca could read her mind whenever she wanted, those thoughts didn’t feel so private and safe any more. She tried her best not to think about them or anything even remotely connected to her daydreams but of course, her mind always decided to go into overdrive and pull up those memories at the worst possible times. Namely, whenever they spent time together. 

During class, Adore felt safe enough to think about them, just a little. Surely Bianca was too far away and focused on her own classes to read anyone’s mind…but then when they had lunch together or she visited Bianca backstage or went to the greenhouse or hung out in the dormitories?

All these little inconspicuous things Bianca did would just remind her of her daydreams and flood her thoughts with these stupid feelings and questions and wondering. It was no surprise she had writer’s block, she could barely think, let alone write something coherent.

Bianca picked up on the frustration pretty quickly. She had hoped that it would pass in a few days but between the defeated groans as she wrote and the sudden skittishness whenever Bianca would come close, it was hard to ignore. Bianca was so used to Adore slipping away into her own little thought bubble as she worked on her lyrics. It made for a comfortable silence as both of them did their own thing while backstage. But now Adore seemed hyper aware of everything and guiltily hid or tore out pages from her notebook.

By the time this behavior had carried over into the following week, Bianca couldn’t help but think it all circled back to her revealing her powers. She’d seen this behavior before; people would learn that she could read minds and then avoid her like the plague or worse; stay with her but always treat her with suspicion. It hurt…especially because it was coming from Adore this time.

Before long Bianca resolved to talk with her. She just couldn’t bear to let this go on any longer and risk losing this friendship.

“Hey, Adore, can we talk for a minute?” Bianca asked one afternoon.

Adore looked startled. She’d been staring at her notebook once again and trying to work on anything that wasn’t related to Bianca. She’d made some progress but it was slower than she’d like. But just when the pace looked to be picking up, that was when Bianca asked to speak with her. She tried to act casual but her mind was going a mile a minute as she wondered what Bianca wanted to say.

“Sure.”

Taking a seat next to her, ignoring the jab she felt in her heart as Adore shifted uncomfortably, Bianca continued, “I wanted to talk about the other day again. When I told you about my powers.” Adore nodded her head guiltily. “It made things weird, didn’t it?”

Adore visibly faltered. She stared up at Bianca like a deer caught in headlights as she tried to think of a way to explain all of her conflicting emotions. She wanted to be honest but she didn’t want to hurt Bianca’s feelings, at least no more than she had to. Taking pity on her, Bianca offered a consoling smile and gently pointed out, “Adore, I can tell when you’re bothered. You don’t really hide things that well, hun.”

Another wave of guilt washed over Adore’s face. She really was caught with no way out. The best thing to do was just be totally honest, she figured. “Okay, yeah. It…I mean-”

“Hey, I get it,” Bianca said, “I know it’s weird and hard to get used to.” Scooting closer, she laid a cautious hand over Adore’s and reiterated, “But I made a promise to you and I swear I’m gonna keep that. I’m not going into your mind again.”

They looked at each other for the longest time; Adore lost in thought and Bianca studying her friend for any sign of how she was feeling. Bianca just hoped she looked and sounded as sincere as she felt. She really did want to do her best to keep that promise. But all of it would mean nothing if Adore was still uncomfortable around her.

After a loaded pause, Adore finally spoke again, “Can I ask you about something, too?”

“Of course.”

“When you went in there, when was that?”

Not exactly what Bianca was expecting but she’d gladly answer any question she could. Thinking hard, trying to recollect the events as accurately as possible, Bianca mused, “Um…the first time was a few days after we met, maybe two weeks?”

Adore nodded, then probed a little further, “And the second?”

“Mm…I think that was almost three months ago now…during one of our lunch periods when you started following me down here. During school hours, I mean.”

Adore was silent for a few seconds, clearly still turning things over in her mind. Bianca felt a vague curiosity as to why Adore was so interested in when but she supposed Adore had her reasons. She wasn’t going to push it. 

There was an inquiring tilt to Adore’s head as she asked, “Why then?”

“Well…the first time I went into your mind, it was when Courtney, Alaska and a few others were hanging out with us too. I didn’t really know what to expect and got bombarded right away with a bunch of spam in there.” Bianca smiled at the memory for a moment before admitting, “I couldn’t follow any of it even if I tried and got out almost immediately…Then when we started hanging out alone, I got curious what your mind would be like then. You were helping me organize some of the outfits that day and seemed distracted so I thought, ‘why not take another look?’”

“Was it different?”

“A bit. It was more calm but you still had that pop up thing going on,” Bianca tried to explain, “This time I could follow some of it. I remember the outfits reminded you of some horrible movie you had to watch as a kid. But that was as far as I went with it.”

“Okay.” Her voice was calm. It almost sounded flat.

It was weird to hear that from Adore; usually there was some kind of overarching emotion in her tone, whether it be good or bad. Hearing her sound like this just felt…wrong. But she wasn’t angry or rushing from the room so it couldn’t have been all bad, right?

Very cautiously, Bianca asked, “Are we good?”

She held her breath, waiting for some kind of answer, and nearly sighed with relief when Adore cracked a smile and replied, “Yeah.”

All the nerves Bianca had built up finally began to relax away and soon she was returning a grin of her own. Figuring now was as good as any for a change of subject, she noted, “While I’m thinking about it, did you want to go into town next month? The 28th?…Just us.”

“Sure,” Adore beamed, even laughing just a little as she asked, “Why the 28th though?”

“It’s move-in day,” Bianca groaned, “The campus is gonna be crazy for a while. Figured we’d have more fun in town.”

Adore’s eyes danced with delight as thoughts of an afternoon truly alone with Bianca filled her mind. She could hardly keep her excitement contained as she answered, “Yeah, it sounds great!”

******

Things finally went back to normal and by the time their afternoon outing came around, they were as close as ever. Going into the city, if only for a few hours, had been wonderfully relaxing. They could forget about everything for a while and just enjoy each other’s company. Bianca already had a few places in mind she wanted to visit with Adore; a charming little outdoor cafe for lunch, a hobby shop they could easily wander and get lost in, some window shopping at the boutiques. Adore even suggested a few places of her own.

It was a shame when they had to return to campus.

But neither of them could stop smiling for the rest of the day, especially when recounting to their friends all the fun they had together. It was the perfect trip to end their school break with. Next week classes would begin again and it’d be right back to endless amounts of homework for the foreseeable future.

Strangely enough, that wasn’t the last exciting thing they heard that week.

About two days after the latest batch of students moved in, Courtney was out wandering the school grounds. Somehow she managed to stumble upon a hidden grove full of plants that most certainly came from another world. She and Shangela organized an effort with some of the other plant elementals to retrieve the foreign plants and bring them back to the greenhouse to study. Even Adore got roped in to help transport some of the larger samples. Her powers made easy work of moving them across the campus in record time. But again, she couldn’t help feeling like some kind of pack mule.

Only Bianca was able to break her out of her peevish mood with an offer to buy her dinner (pizza delivery from the town in this case) and a quick joke that she needed a shower. It was as she was changing into a fresh set of clothes that Adore noted once again that Bianca always seemed to have a soft spot for her. After all, she wasn’t offering to buy pizza for Shangela or Courtney and they certainly had more work to do than her.

She couldn’t help but feel special that she was given extra consideration and she had to wonder what, if anything, it might mean. There was no denying there was a certain warmth that spread throughout her chest at the thought. Even the way Bianca smiled at her as she wandered into her room left her heart fluttering. The entire time they talked that night, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Bianca’s attention was focused solely on her for a change and…it was nice. Great, even.

The way her eyes would sparkle when she teased Adore or how loudly she laughed every time Adore made a joke. The way they would lean into each other as they huddled around her laptop to watch a movie…it just felt very…right.

******

With the discovery of the intermittent portal and cataloging all of the new plants, Courtney’s visits to the theater department dramatically declined. That wasn’t to say she never hung out with her friends, they often could be found together in the dorms late at night or on the weekends, but the afternoons backstage seemed to be reserved strictly for Bianca and Adore now. Every so often, they’d wander to the greenhouse or Courtney would appear backstage for an hour or so of chatting, but the time spent together as a group had noticeably decreased. 

Adore was surprisingly fine with that.

She loved having the chance to spend more alone time with Bianca. Their conversations were always entertaining. But one thing Adore noticed the most with Courtney’s absence was Bianca’s flirting. Pet names were always a given but lately there seemed to be more to it. It was more frequent but also seemed…more serious?

Earlier, Bianca would restrain herself to just a few comments here and there. Nothing that pushed the limits too much and Adore always responded in kind. In fact, most times she’d push the envelope just a bit further and would work out an amused laugh from Bianca. Then they’d both back off and talk about something else…but now, Bianca was taking it one step further. Testing the boundaries more. Their banter always seemed to have a suggestive undertone to it, the kind that left Adore’s head feeling swimmy and giddy as she tried to keep up.

It was exciting and had her heart racing in her chest.

Just maybe, she thought, Bianca feels the same as her?

Maybe now that Courtney isn’t here to dilute their conversations, Bianca feels more comfortable flirting with her? Maybe she’s trying to figure out if Adore is serious too?

Every day, these questions would pop up in her mind. She tried to work them out through her writing but the lyrics always ended up sounding confused or turned into something embarrassingly sappy and romantic. She was frustrated that she didn’t have any more answers but admittedly, she still loved this sense of wonder and the blissful daze she often found herself caught in.

She was happy, she realized. Even if she didn’t know for certain yet, she just felt so sure. The signs were all there when she looked. It was only a matter of time before one of them broke and secretly, she couldn’t wait to see which of them it would be.

******

The next semester had begun without much incident and the pair quickly found themselves resuming normal after-school activities; Bianca focused on creating costumes, accessories and props for the next production while Adore helped out with small tasks or focused on her own thing or even just skipped out if she had other things to do. It was comfortable and all too familiar. Like returning back to a favorite beach or playground as a kid after being away all winter.

They’d chat the afternoons away until Bianca had finished her work and then they’d usually pick up Courtney from the greenhouse and head back to the dormitories to hang out with the rest of their friends. With the start of the new semester also came the introduction of new friends, including one Willam Belli.

Before Bianca had a chance to properly meet the new arrival, she had already heard stories about the fire elemental. The first occurrence came from Courtney of all people; she had just met Willam by chance earlier that day and thought the meeting was important enough to mention to Bianca. Perhaps because Willam was Alaska’s new roommate?

Bianca brushed off the news and instead reminded Courtney of why she was visiting the greenhouse in the first place; some rare flowers she had collected from another world were finally blooming and Bianca ‘just had to come see them’. Courtney’s reasoning, not hers.

The next instance caught her attention though. It seems Willam has a little quirk of huffing out fire whenever she feels like it. Caught some students by surprise…or that might’ve been because she almost lit some girl’s hair on fire.

Then Raja even mentioned the girl, albeit very briefly. She had met Willam while smoking behind the gym. Talked to her for a few minutes before leaving to hang out with her new roommate and Raven. 

Now Bianca was interested. 

If Raja made it a point to tell Bianca about this new student, she must be interesting. And it wasn’t long after that, that Bianca and Willam were finally introduced. The meeting went well enough and they seemed to get along. Willam had the same sense of humor as her so that was always a plus. Bianca thought little more about this until Courtney mentioned Willam again…and again…and again.

Willam was entertaining, Bianca did have to admit, but Courtney was utterly fascinated with her. Her eyes lit up with interest whenever they were together or Courtney would make sure to recount every new story she had heard from or about Willam whenever she and Bianca saw one another. It offered a change from her gushing over whatever new plant species she catalogued but there was a limit to how much Bianca could take of all this. Before long she was sharing a long-suffering look with Adore whenever the subject of Willam ever came up.

It didn’t take a genius nor even a quick jaunt into Courtney’s mind to recognize her infatuation. But it did raise Bianca’s curiosity about Willam. The pair never really spent one on one time together, not like her and Courtney did and certainly not her and Adore. Bianca couldn’t help but wonder how Willam felt in all this. She certainly loved to tease Courtney at every chance during lunch but when the topic of hanging out after classes came up, she always seemed to avoid committing herself to anything like that.

It left Bianca wondering. Did she find Courtney too eager? Was she genuinely just busy with other things? Or maybe there was something else going on?

Bianca resolved to find the answer and luckily it didn’t take too long before she got her chance to go into Willam’s mind. She wanted to time it carefully; she waited until Alaska had brought up hanging out after classes in the common room, probably watch a movie or two. ‘They could even paint their nails together!’ she exclaimed.

 Willam merely shrugged and replied, “Maybe.”

It was here Bianca took her chance. With little more than a push, she found herself inside Willam’s mind. It was like a perfect scene of the cafeteria (from her point of view) but as Bianca looked around she saw the oddest little pockets of other thoughts hiding in the background. They played like little movies on a constant loop, sometimes only appearing briefly, others lasting for several moments and some never left. But strangely they didn’t seem to be memories, or at least not all of them. Some displayed scenes that Bianca was sure had not happened, like Willam’s napkin suddenly catching fire and spreading over the table, her fingers sparking and singeing Alaska’s clothes…sitting in the rec room and knocking over a vial of nail polish…making a mess of her paint job on someone’s nails…burning a handprint into one of the couches.

No, none of those seemed real. Bianca was sure if they had happened, the news would have spread all over the school by now. It all seemed to be Willam’s expectations or even fears of what she might do. All accidents, Bianca noticed…and then it made sense. That’s exactly what they were; her worst fears of what might happen. She was scared of doing something embarrassing or having her powers act up.

At that point Bianca quickly took her leave from Willam’s mind. She was beginning to feel something not all together pleasant…Sympathy, perhaps? It left her feeling weird so she decided it was best not to dwell on it. But she had her answer, or part of it. She hadn’t really learned how Courtney plays a part in this, if she does at all, but she did come to understand why Willam usually remained vague when commenting on group plans. She probably had to argue with herself on whether or not it’d be a good idea all the way up to when it came time to commit. And Bianca didn’t really blame her for that. If Willam thought she might accidentally hurt someone, it was no wonder she would try to avoid them whenever she felt her control slipping.

After that day, Bianca didn’t really feel a need to go back into Willam’s mind to dig around any more. As weeks passed, she had her suspicions as to how she truly felt about Courtney. Willam’s powers seemed to be very in-tune with her emotions. When she was relaxed and enjoying herself, there never really seemed to be a problem. But once she started feeling annoyed, anxious, or even over-excited, then little sparks or licks of fire might start to appear. And it didn’t take long to notice she often felt that way around Courtney.

With Bianca, the two could exchange friendly jabs for hours on end. Willam would always end up laughing (an ugly, infectious sound that managed to leave Bianca cracking up too) but never did she really get offended by anything that was said. She brushed it off and remained calm and collected. It was almost the same with Alaska, though sometimes there would be an annoyed huff or two complimented by a short burst of fire whenever Alaska would bring up training after school. But aside from that, Willam seemed to feel fine.

With Courtney however…that was another story. Willam tried to tease her like she did with the others but Courtney was far from being a pushover and just taking the playful jabs. She’d engage just as enthusiastically with Willam and though her comments were never quite as pointed as Bianca’s, they did seem to get under Willam’s skin more easily. Then she’d just shoot off one of her ‘innocent’ smiles and bat her lashes and in a few seconds, Willam’s mood might sour or fingers might begin to spark.

She didn’t seem to know quite what to do once Courtney really started fighting back. Her voice might jump a little higher, she might get a little more defensive and then before she realized it, she’d make a joke that went a bit too far. Then Courtney would get annoyed, then Willam, Bianca’s eyes would roll, Adore would find something else to focus her attention on and then someone might step in and try to play peace-keeper. Usually Alaska, sometimes Raja or Shangela. It was a never ending cycle, really.

Courtney just always seemed to put her on edge but Bianca never noticed Willam pulling away, not seriously at least. Within a few hours all would be right again and the pattern would repeat. It was exhausting, really.

Anyone with half a brain could see they cared for each other, but whether it was like Courtney and Bianca’s relationship, one of friendly bickering or more like Shangela and Alyssa’s, flirty teasing and play-fighting, well…Bianca had her guess…as did most others. But the question of it and when the pair might eventually explore their feelings…Bianca decided very early on that she was not going to get involved. No, she had her own mess of a love life and certainly didn’t need drama from someone else’s spilling over. Not while she could help it.

[estrangedandwayward]

1,2&4😉🙃

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

as usual, I have about sixty thousand WIPs, which range from a single line of dialogue to a few dozen pages. I have a sequel to “My best friend’s brother is the one for me” that I didn’t finish because I got distracted by a certain fluffy feline who shall remain nameless. AND the aristocats AU that I swear to GOD I will finish... at some point. I was going to try and finish it this month but then a much bigger project and a frankly terrifying commitment came along and kind of steamrolled everything else in my life right now for at least the next three months.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I really genuinely wanna finish the aristocats one. its gonna end up kinda long for one of my fics, but I can’t say quite how long because I only have about a third of it actually written. and I would just post it, but as these things often go with me, it is basically all ending and middle parts so I can’t. I’m excited to see it develop as a longer form narrative with an actual storyline though, that's not something I often get to do, doing mostly writing one-shots. and obviously, the book that I’m hoping to have finished at some point in march. 

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

trying to find one from the aristocrats au that isn't a spoiler is proving quite difficult, so here’s one from the ‘best friend’s brother’ sequel:

“We’re no even anymore” Jon said once the fire had faded. 

Theon stared up at him and without hesitation said “So get even” 

its actually a slightly revised version of a concept from a fanfic I wrote years ago that in no longer on the internet. The fic itself was garbage but when i was looking back at it I realized this quote is so perfect for a greysnow fic and i just had to put it in. (that’s what she said) 

thank you for the ask! <3