#kinda rushed this so the background is eh but whatever

[sooz-art]

A scene from Reignite.

[un-local]

oh oh, how about this one 👀

He jerks his head up and, some ways away, a towering creature stands. An elk, or a moose, or, or, well—he never was the type to know game. Whatever it is, it’s broad, stalwart, and several heads taller than he. The otherworldly markings of a Runebear arc and coil along its coat.  Well, perhaps a runebear, he should say—perhaps something else. Nothing like he’s ever seen. Its antlers fray and curl at the ends, glowing as they seem to grasp for the heavens. Deep in the pupils of its eyes lies the same glow. It stands atop the water, unmoving. Unflinchingly, it watches him.  He watches it right back.  He can’t look away.  ...The cold seeps in a little further into his bones.  And he swears, on his life and all he holds dear, the eyes of the beast glow a little brighter.  He wakes with a start. 

ALSO sorry if u got an incomplete ask LOL I might've sent one by accident because of a keyboard misclick...

Whatever it is, it’s broad, stalwart, and several heads taller than he. The otherworldly markings of a Runebear arc and coil along its coat.

Why a Runebear? Hhhhh, idk. I thought it’d look cool, is the main reason. They’re the only other instance of “powered up” wildlife that’s more than just a sized-up version of the original (that I recall, at least.) I figured I'd borrow some of the visual language there to kind of lend some atmosphere to the scene.

Also, even though the ancestral spirit is dead when the player meets it, I wanted the avatar of Mags’ influence to take the form of something alive.

(Remember in chapter 10 that line about "a surge of strength that doesn’t feel entirely her own"? Sure, that's a standard depiction of an adrenaline rush, but perhaps under that, there's something else at play... :3)

I remember when writing this, my intention was that this is Fia’s work: she’s lending some vitality (from a previous embrace with Mags) to Rogier. As in, she needs that other half of the cursemark, so she can’t have Rogier dying just yet. Notice how when he wakes, Fia is actively touching his hand. (And his reaction, to immediately move his hand away, is good for establishing their dynamic) 

Subsequently, the next time Rogier has the dream in chapter 18, and he’s alone—so there’s nothing in the dream. 

BUT.... Since then, eh, I’ve kinda lost conviction in that interpretation. It's fun, but it's a bit convoluted, even for me XD. So, whether that was from Fia, or it's just the lingering effects of his encounter with Mags... reader's choice.

Also, sidenote: the background of this dream is meant to evoke Godwyn’s arena. Probably obvious, but it's something I hope to expand on as the fic progresses.

It stands atop the water, unmoving. Unflinchingly, it watches him.  He watches it right back. 

In their first meeting, Mags had a line about Rogier watching her, and her watching him. This line is a fun reversal of that.

("The whistle of the wind picks up again, and she can tell the man is sizing her up. She sizes the man up in return.")

...The cold seeps in a little further into his bones.  And he swears, on his life and all he holds dear, the eyes of the beast glow a little brighter. 

As deathblight sets in, there’s something here that’s resisting it. This works to set up a later scene, while still serving the surreal tone of a dream.

Thanks for the ask, anon!

[voicefromunderthecovers]

Total Drama: The Creeps Cut Episode 1 | Not So Happy Campers

Chapter 0: Audition Tapes

Ezekiel 

In a dusty, cluttered, cramped space with a mess meeting you at every corner, sat on top of an old, barely functional TV is the field of vision of a low budget, partially grainy camera. A greasy, pimpled hick with an awkward air about him scratches the back of his pencil neck insecurely before flashing a small closed smile. 

“Yo, name’s Ezekiel, or like, Zeke, y’know? As you can probably tell, I’m kinda new to this whole celebrity thing, eh.” His smile fades and he looks around nervously. A few coughs can be heard in the background as he rubs his arm. “Anyway, Pa used to be the breadwinner but now he can’t work as hard no more. I’m gonna get on this show and bring home the bacon instead, I mean, without me, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to support ma. I’m ramblin, I know, y’know? Er, you know what to do.” His dopey grin ends off the video.

Two men, one tall and built and the other small but well put together are sitting and watching the following tapes. They glance at each other and shrug. “So.. what do you think?” Chef Hatchet, the larger man asks.

“I’d say the kid’ll be at least partially fun to make fun of. But people also love a good rags to riches story. I’m game! Next?” The smaller one, Chris Mclean, beckons an intern to supply him with the next tape.

Eva

The first shot of the video is of a black haired, butch type woman doing pulls up at a close-up angle in a public gym. A few prettier, pinker girls walk behind her and mutter something as she finishes up her routine, grunting out the number of reps she’s done.

“57.. 58.. 59.. 60!”

She then hops down on her feet, solidly standing tall. She nearly lets her eyes linger towards the sound of the teenage girls in the background she can so obviously hear, but refocuses on the camera, tightens her fists and talks to the hosts.

“You see that? I’m the only girl in my school who can do more than ten pull ups. So whatever you can throw at me, I can handle it.” She points at herself confidently, head held high and eyes closed. The girls in the background find a red dodgeball and aim it. “Bring it-” BOINK!

It collides with her temple, knocking her off balance. “HEY! You’re dead, you hear me?!” She barks as their fits of giggling turn to panicked gasps and screams. The footage cuts just as the girl rushes at the posse harassing her. It returns to an image of the angry teenage girl with blood on her fists, now outside of the gym on the sidewalk.

“My name is Eva Chantrey. If you want a fierce, no holds barred competitor who is also a huge team player.. You’ll pick me.” She points a thumb in her chest. “Hey, you can edit this, right? Good.”

Chris and Chef recover from chuckling as the footage cuts. “Man, talk about psycho!” Chris belts out.

“I like her.” Chef muses.

“Of course you do. She’s in! Who’s next?”

Noah Sitting at a desk in the middle of a quiet library is a young man with a medium-dark skin tone. Despite the camera being focused on his face he isn’t at all interested in it until he turns to the next page of the book he is currently trapped in. “Yo,” finally looking up from his book to reveal his bored frown gives the first glimpse of realization to the camera. “Look, you’re probably going to get a dozen audition tapes from ‘musically’ talented teens or dependent dorks who claim to be ‘intellectual prodigies’ so I’ll save you the time… Like you should save yourself from reading this cliche ridden novel.” Taking the book from its face down position, Noah flaunts it to the camera with an annoyed expression plastered to his face. “The cover lures you in with a depiction of an epic story. Heroes, dragons, castles… What do I see? A thousand and one cliches on how NOT to write a fantasy novel. I haven’t watched any of the audition tapes on your website, which is so 2010 might I add, yet I can already guess that ninety-nine percent of your auditions are from rich kids or dumb jocks far too in over their own heads. With Noah? Nuh-uh. I’m the real deal, an actual schemer not some wannabe used car salesman. Put me on your show and it’ll be a domino effect of backstabs with me always staying a step or two ahead. In the school chess team? Grand master. Yeah, you can see what I’m getting at.” Noah pushes the book he was reading off to the side before looking at the camera one more time with a confident smile. “See you on the show, big name Hollywood executives.” “Heheh, he’s right about the numerous trust fund kids we’ve gotten so far ain’t he Chris?” Noah seemed like just the type of kid that could use some of Chef’s… Bootcamp. A snobby little poindexter like that? Chef would accept him on grounds of breaking him alone! “I think the irony of his tape is what gets me the most. Going into intense detail about all the scheming little yuppie kids he hates without the self awareness is HILARIOUS! Reminds me of how much you hate that hotshot chef on that one cooking show. What was it called? Cooking Up Drama? That guy is a total Hollywood sleaze!” Chef raised an eyebrow to Chris. That sleazy chef reminded him more of Chris than himself. “But hey, I feel an odd connection to the kid. Consider him in the show! Who do we have next, Chef?” “Some girl who claims to be able to talk to ghosts or something! Oh, and another set of those damn BlixBloxxers!” “Kids, aren’t they the greatest?” Chris’ rhetorical question was only answered by a devilish grin towards the camera.

Justin

The camera pans to show one of the most handsome men in the world with a frown on his face. He’s crouched up on a rock, hair wet (it looks sexy even when wet) and all hope lost. What tragedy could’ve befell this gorgeous man?! “I’m Justin… And once I got lost at sea. Then… I remembered pretty men don’t need to read maps, they just need Dude Time for Men .” Justin sprays himself with the cologne, this parts away the clouds and sends the bad weather long off into the distance. In its place comes a herd of women, all of them eager to rip Justin’s shirt off to reveal his perfectly chiseled torso. “ Dude Time for Men is not responsible for any side effects that may occur such as constant attraction of females, an enhanced sense of confidence, a flock of women tearing your clothes off, or erectile dysfunction. If you experience testicle shrinkage please consult your doctor immediately and stop usage.” One of those commercial voices ended off the advert, Chef raised an eyebrow while Chris clapped his hands together. “Classic Dude Time for Men , I did a commercial for them a year or two back. My agent told me I should probably demand they never show my clip again though after that huge lawsuit they got in for those nasty side effects.” “Plus that smells nasty! Ain’t no real woman gonna want to smell some Dude Bro whatever the hell it is.” To Chef’s cynicism, Chris shook his head. “Just because you’re jealous of a product doesn’t mean you have to shame those of us who found success because of it, Chef.” “Man, didn’t you just get divorced a year ago?! Face it, Dude Time don’t work… But that kid's a looker, though, reminds me of my first– gig. I worked at a modelin’ place, pretty boys like that all over the damn place.” “So you’re saying you want him in? Meh, okay. He’ll get us ratings, he’s already a totally hot model. Just look at his gram! That’s a lot of followers bro.”

Katie and Sadie

A nauseatingly pink polka dotted room filled with childish plush toys and a big speaker is the backdrop of this next one. Two teenage girls, one chubby and white and the other brown and slim (both wearing the exact same outfit) are holding each other's hands while Glamorous by Fergie plays in the background. 

“Oh my gosh, I cannot believe we’re doing this!” The larger one exclaims. “So cannot believe we’re doing this!” Her friend replies.

“Okay, um.. Hi!” A fit of giggles erupt from them both. “Oh, I can’t lead, Katie you have to!”

“Okay, okay.. I’m Katie, and this is Sadie. We both want to apply for Total Drama because I mean,”

“Just look at us! We’re cute and we both have our own Blickblock account, KatiexSadie=, AND-”

“And we’re sooo close! We’re inseparable, which is like, so rare for small town girls like us.” They hug each other, nuzzling one another’s cheeks.

“So, so rare! Ooh, Katie, let’s show them our dancing!”

“Oh, uh-” Katie’s grip on her friend loosens and she backs away.

Sadie turns up the volume incredibly loud, swinging her body to and fro wildly, flabby skin smacking against her body while she seductively glances at the camera. Katie blushes and gives a nervous smile.

“Ahaha.. Woohoo.. Go Sadie.” Her words are too quiet though.

“What?!” The camera falls from the vibrations of the music right onto the carpeted floor. 

Katie picks it up and is joined by Sadie as they both shout, “Put us on!~” the clip cuts out.

Chris and Chef simply blink, then look at each other. “Blickblockers on my show? Chef, look up KatiexSadie+ultra whatever now!”

Chef glares. “I ain’t your personal assistant, fool.”

“Just do it, ya big baby.” He slaps him on his toned shoulder.

“Ugh,” Chef gets on the computer and looks up their username. “One hundred thous- well I’ll be..”

“One hundred WHAT NOW? What do their fans say?”

“Oh, they posted the audition. Let’s see..” Chef applies his reading glasses, scanning the comments. “‘Katie is so cute. Go Katie!’, by Pepefan24. ‘Katie needs an Onlyfans, sweat drop emoji.’ by Crimson Candy. ‘I want a Katie solo account (i love you Sadie too ooh woo.)’, by tearjerker.tdi.”

“Katie is the star, but they’re both annoying. Why not include ‘em both, for.. Brand recognition?”

“Mm, good idea.” Chef nods. “Next up: Tyler.”

Tyler

The video starts without a star in front of the camera, this quickly changes as we hear a boy curse as he sprints over to the front of it, just barely avoiding tripping over his own feet. “W-Woah! Sorry about that, I’m Tyler! A totally serious athlete who everyone says should be in the Olympics… Or was it the Paralympics? To tell you the truth I don’t really know the difference. Either way, check out this highlight reel from my time here at Bullworth Academy!” The camera fades from Tyler to a clip of him giving a thumbs up to the camera as he jumps up to catch a football thrown to him. In a horrible miscalculation the ball actually comes down and smacks Tyler square in the face! Another clip flashes by, this time Tyler gives another enthusiastic thumbs up as he goes to block a hockey puck via glove save. Yet another terrible stroke of luck causes the puck to go right past his hand and smack him dead in the face again! The final clip shows Tyler in a stairwell at what looks to be a hospital. His head is all bandaged up and he’s missing a tooth, even still he gives a thumbs up and hops on his skateboard. He jumps on it and tries to ride down the rail, this results in him being launched off the board and flying into a hamper of towels! Despite the stunt being a failure, he smiles at the camera just happy to not have taken another shot to the head. However this proves to be his undoing as the board comes back down right on top of his head, knocking him out one final time. “Yeouch! That had to hurt!” Chris chuckled as he rewinded the tape to play some of the brutal injuries over again. “Is that one of them Jack’s Ass boys?” Chef couldn’t lie, watching Tyler get hit over and over with various sporting goods was pretty entertaining. “Oh MAN look at that hit right there! Duuuuude!” It had been six rewinds before the two hosts finally stopped laughing, it was pretty obvious Tyler was in. “He’s absolutely terrible at sports but imagine the ratings we’ll get on him!” Chris explained.

Izzy

A black and white filter overlays the camera feed. A dark room, or as dark as you can piece together through the filter, is lit up by candles, emitting enough visual aid to showcase framed pictures of a blonde haired, fit surfer dude with a chiseled jawline and casual looks on his face. Several of these pictures show him smiling on the sidewalk, laughing inside of a restaurant, eating a messy sandwich, clocking in at the production studio for Fresh TV.. wearing a nametag that says the name Graham.

Suddenly, the camera spins backwards to reveal a filterless girl grinning ear to ear at the camera, orange, unkempt neck length hair and orange lipstick on her. “Boo! HAHAHAHA! Gotcha, Graham-Graham! Surprised to see me?” She appears to be wearing a lab coat with goggles on her forehead. “Yeaaah, I had no idea you were working at Fresh TV now, I’m so jealous! That means you’re kinda sorta barely famous, Graham! Isn’t that wild?? Remember when you used to talk about owning a mansion and three dogs named Skip with me? Or settling down at a nice graveyard with both of our gravestones next to each other?? Oh man, great times! You were an awesome boyfriend. In case you don’t see this, or remember, hey! I’m Izzy, and I’d be really good for the show Total Drama whutz it becauseeee I am multifaceted and very attentive! I swear I’ll leave your viewers laughing and my fellow castmates entertained! As for you, Graham?”

She finally takes a breath of air to jab a finger into the camera, zooming in on her green eyeball. “I missed you, baby~! Wait for me!”

Static fills up the last four seconds.

“..Batshit crazy, man.”

“Right on, brother. As if this show needs more insanity.” Chris grins, writing down her name anyways.

“Do.. Do we even know a Graham?”

“I think he’s a production assistant? I dunno, all of the lackey’s look the same.”

“True that. Soo..?”

“She’s in. I like her breed of insanity: dangerous, but quirky. Lesbians around the world will relate to her immensely.”

“I get the feeling she’s the type to enjoy my camp food.”

“No offense, bro, but I wouldn’t feed your cooking to a starving raccoon. I’d pay to see it.” His grin only becomes more cocky.

Chef growls, then stands up and yells. “Shut up! Next!” He sits back down cross armed for the next tape.

Cody

“Oh hey there, didn’t see ya. I’m Cody Emmet Jameson Anderson, the Codemeister is what all my friends online know me as.” This audition tape took place in the RGB colored room of who could only be identified as a tech-fetishist. Computers, consoles retro and new, even what seemed to be a fridge with a screen on it. “You may be caught up in all my cool gadgets, don’t let that fool ya! I’m like Batman, cool gadgets and machines at night… Playboy also at night. I’m missing the rich part, which is one reason why I want to be on Total Drama!” Was I interesting enough? Oh crap Cody think, think! “L-Look! I’ve got music too!” Cody fiddled around with his keyboard, finally finding the space bar as his beats started playing from his speakers. “I-I can actually play that! I was just editing it, oh! This is the good part!” Cody threw up the rock and roll symbol with his left hand as he jammed out to his solo, smiling up at the camera. “A man of many skills as you can see. Games, music, ladies… Did I mention my YouTube channel? Ohhhh it’s not too big or anything, just SEVEN HUNDRED subs. Heh, see this is my latest video, I talked about some chicks from Blickblock.” Cody’s channel was pulled up on his phone, the latest video sure enough was about Katie and Sadie. “Small world.” Chris remarked. Y’know, there was a total audience for guys like Cody! “Girls won’t be able to get enough of him and he’s just dorky enough for guys to find a liking to as well. I mean making fun of Blickblockers on the internet? He’ll have his own unique fanbase.” “Either that or he’ll stir up enough drama tryna be a cool guy. Hehe, what’s your decision Chris?” “Seen worse… Why not? If worse comes to worst, he does have seven hundred subscribers. That’s at LEAST fifty viewers.”

Beth

“Hey there! I’m Beff!” Spitting all over the camera was a gal with braces, glasses, and a lisp. “I’m here with my best friend in the whole wide world, Bertha! Say hi Bertha!” In her arms is a squealing pig, it doesn’t at all look happy to be held by the four-eyed teen. “W-Woah, don’t wiggle so much! I’ll-!” As the pig desperately wiggled out of Beth’s grasp, the momentum of a pig almost half her size caused her to land forward onto her face right into some mud! Beth defeatedly pulled herself up to her knees again, face covered in mud and tearfully clenched her fist.”I-I get it, I look like another pathetic nerd girl who can’t do anything right… Mark my words, if I get into your show? That’s all going to change! You’ll see, everyone from school will see, and doormat Beth will be NO more!” “Nerd rage, eh? What do you think, Chef?” Chris was a bit on the fence about Beth. She was another nerdy looking competitor, they already had a lot of those… “That girl got a look in her eye that none of those other kids had. A scary one.” A bullied student out for revenge? That’s one reason he became the way he did! Chef was a sensitive soul underneath all the war paint, military training, and awful culinary skills. “Revenge in a lawsuit kind of way or a ratings kind of way?” Chris questioned his co-host. “I doubt that girl could actually cause harm to anyone, prolly just a ratings thing. Probably .” “Alrighty then, Beth? You’re in!”

Courtney

In the center of a courtyard, a Latina-Asian girl with short chestnut hair and freckles is sitting in front of a camera, a table separating her from the camera man across from her. On the table are pamphlets that read, “Courtney for Student Council President”. Several students walk past her, scoffing or outright rolling their eyes at her from behind, all while she emphatically chants:

“Vote for Courtney! A vote for me is a vote for a well organized, better serviced and happier classroom. Vote for Courtney!” She glances at the camera before focusing her attention on it entirely. 

“Oh, hello there! As you can see, I’m running for Student Council President. If I’m elected, I swear to make this school a better place. So, why do I, Courtney Barlow, wish to enter a drama reality TV show when it’s so obviously below me? Well, discounting the prize money, I think it’s best for any great leader to surround herself with commoners before she becomes a responsible ruler for the people. Essentially - I want to know what people are like outside of the bubble that is high school.”

“Hey, can we hurry this up? I gotta head to gym class.”

“In a minute, Tom! Ugh, you better edit that out.”

“Yeah, yeah, Court, I will.” Tom mumbles, sighing. She seems offended, mouth gaping.

“Don’t address me that way! Do you know how degrading nicknames are? How do you think most political campaigns end, Tom? Nicknames!” She claps her hands together thrice, scathing with gritted teeth and furrowed brows.

“Okay, okay, whatever, you crazy bitch, just finish up!” He yells back, probably for the first time ever. A few students freeze and look at the duo, then move on with their day.

Courtney glares daggers at the controller of the camera for a few seconds, then puts on a fake smile and flashes a peace sign. “Ahem.. Vote for Courtney!” 

The recording ends with a subtitle:

Don’t vote for Courtney

Chris chuckles iconically. “Hehehe, damn.. Can we get Tom on the show? I mean, the back stabbiness, the character development unraveling as we watched in real time, the emotion necessary to freeze a room! Incredible!” He throws his arms into the air to exaggerate his point.

“Even A students watch TV, man. Need someone relatable for the preppy dorks of the world to latch onto.” Chef folds his arms, looking down at his partner with a stern, almost bored look.

“Is that Beth chick not enough? Fine. Courtney is in, if only so we can see more of her looney side. Next!”

Harold

This audition tape began with yet another dork smiling at the camera, he was in what looked like a boy scout outfit. “13.2 seconds, that’s the time it would take for me to kill an elephant with my bare hands. Not that I would, they’re endangered. But I could, that’s my hunting hand to hand combat badge. HYAH!” From out of nowhere two yo-yo’s entered the field of view for the camera! “I call this the double-decker-loop-to-loop-wild-style-space-typhoon technique, something taught only to grand masters at Rolling Steve’s yo-yo and- AUGH! OUCH!” One of the yo-yo’s hit Harold in the nose while the other wrapped around him in a way that took him to the floor! Luckily, or unluckily for him he was still visible! “I can get out of this, don’t worry. I have a badge in escape arts, I could probably get out of this if it was chains and I was submerged in water with sharks or something…” Harold was really hoping he could escape some sharks while drowning. That would be so awesome. After struggling for a moment Harold was actually able to get himself out pretty seamlessly. “As you can see I possess some mad skills no one else has. I can nibble rope like a rat, I can hold my breath under water for seventy three seconds, I can even pick locks with my teeth if I need to… Probably.” “Well that was a whole lotta nothing from that string bean. NEEEE-” “No, no, wait a minute! Chef…” Was that tears in Chris’ eyes?! 

“Oh… What’s up man? Cecilia taking more money aga–” “NO CHEF, SHE IS NOT! Ahem , I used to use a yo-yo. Maybe you don’t know this, before settling on being a host I was in Toronto’s Next Yo-Yo Stars until… I tragically took one to the gonads. I-I had to make a career decision and focus on television!” Chris looked like he was about to tear up again, Chef knew all about giving up on a dream and settling. “It’s alright Chris, hey maybe we can take this kid then?” “I had to settle and here I am… Divorced and hanging out with a disgruntled drill sergeant turned Chef!” Chef’s empathetic expression quickly turned into one of annoyance as he let go of Chris. “And here I am hanging out with a divorced PAST HIS PRIME Cali-Dude Bro!” “Past his prime? Nonsense Chef! For Harold we’re in agreement he’s in, right?” That story about the yo-yo thing couldn’t be fact checked. Chris just figured another punching bag wouldn’t hurt the show too much. “Fine! String bean can be in the show! Can we just move on? And don’t tell any more LIES!” “My bad Chef! It was the actor inside of me.”  

Trent

Next up was a young man sitting at his computer desk, he had a guitar in his hands and a microphone up to his mouth. “Hey there whoever is watching this, I’m Trent. Just your typical dude who loves playing guitar and writing music. Check this one out.” Trent began strumming his guitar humming in melody with the instrument until his eyes opened getting ready to sing. “I–”

“TRENT!” His door swung open as a man who looked as if he could be his father stepped in the room and gave him a disapproving glance. “I thought you were studying for your SATs? Why are you playing a pretend band again?” Trent rolled his eyes before turning to face the man. His previously composed posture had turned into a slouched mess. 

“Dad, I’m just taking a quick break. Trying to get onto that show I mentioned earlier, remember?” 

“Is that show you’re trying to get onto comparable to Yale? How about Harvard? Even Princeton?” His father argued rather matter of factly. “Maybe? There’s a cash prize for whoever wins. What if life isn’t so cut and paste as you make it seem?” Trent tried to argue his case but his pleas just got met with a door shut in his face. His dad was always like this, never once could he support his son without making it about what he wanted. He finally turned back to the camera with a sigh as he started strumming a new tune, this one a lot more somber than the last. “So you see… I really want to try and win that money so I can go to any school other than a posh law school. Maybe meet some like minded people, join a band… Meet a girl?” “Hey Chef, we have daddy issues yet?” “Is there ever enough?” “Nope, probably not! Plus he gives off that ‘not like the other guys’ vibe teenage girls just love.” Trent wouldn’t be that hard at all to market. His audition tape sells himself!

Bridgette

Ah, the beach. Typically, a calm and serene despot for young teenagers to run about, get high or catch a wave. Today however, we see a large crowd of people surrounding a blonde haired, hourglass shaped swimsuit toting girl as she places a beached baby whale on her surfboard, gently as if it were made of porcelain lying it down on its back. The camera shakes and thrashes as if its holder is running. It stops to zoom into the savior’s face as she carefully pushes her board out, getting on her knees to usher the whale back to the open water.

The crowd around her cheers while she swims back some thirty seconds later before dispersing back to their cliques to celebrate the saving of ocean life. The surfer chick looks surprised when she notices the camera is on her.

“What, we’re doing that now?”

“Bridge, chillax, girl. It’s been on! Just roll with it, okay?” A feminine voice with a heavy hippy accent says from behind the camera. The star rubs her bare arm, looking nervous.

“..Okay. Hi! I’m Bridgette. I’m sure you understand what I’m all about from.. All of that just now, so.. Let me explain my reasons for wanting to join.” Bridgette takes a deep breath, hands on her hips. “I know there will be plenty of people joining your show looking only for the pleasures of wealth, to satisfy their own selfish desires. But I think the cash you have, producers, could be put to real good use.” 

She pauses, picking up her board to lean against it, making her appear smaller. “Foundations, charities, safer beaches, animal and people hospitals, commercials raising awareness for these very big issues, I think with one hundred thousand dollars I could very well save lives and make Canada one step safer than it was before. If I do lose, I promise to exit with my head held high and my spirit ready to make an improvement either way!”

“That was it! Wasn’t so bad, was it, babe?” The girl asks, a smile obvious in her voice.

Bridgette nods. “Thank you for your consideration.” She finishes with a cute smile as the screen fades to black.

Chef, bored again, waves his hand with mediocrity. “Eh, too goodie-goodie. Pass.”

“Woah, Chef, hold on: did she say commercials? Imagine how many lawsuits/morality wars we could avoid with the producers and viewers if we have a few scenes of Bridgette telling us off, or rescuing wounded pigeons. Boucot bucks saved and made, man!” Chef rolls his eyes at his partner's ludicrous saving habits. 

“I’d still rather have the guy with all the sexy weapons.”

“No way, dude’s a creep and not in a funny way. Pretty sure our contestants would sue us, and they can’t even do that without probable cause we didn’t list in the contract.”

“You mean creepy in your way?” Chef grins. Chris is not amused.

“I am not creepy. I am sexy. Anyways, she’s in for the commercials we could make alone and that’s final.”

“Whatever, man. Next.”

Lindsay

A long haired blonde girl wearing tight, purposely ripped jeans that hugged her figure like a bear on a cub and a red tank top without a bra spoke through gloss covered lips, smacking every word that came out of her mouth as her cliché bulgy eyed chihuahua stared at the camera from under her breasts.

“Hi, my name’s Lindsay! The audition sheet says to list my best qualities, but I have so many.” She flutters her butterfly lashes, smiling adorably. She let’s go of her dog, who immediately sprints away upon being freed. She leans forward in criss cross position, showing off her cleavage. “I’m pretty, and smart and I get along with everyone, even ugly girls and dorky boys.” She nods with her eyes closed as if she’s somehow all knowing.

“Somehow, I was able to get offered twelve summer jobs just by walking down the street a mile from my house, but who has time to work all summer? If I’m gonna get money, I wanna do it by being me! Not Tina from behind the counter who has to watch other girls buy pretty clothes, although I’d totally love to help ugly girls get makeovers, or help pretty girls be prettier! If you couldn’t tell, I’m what my ex boyfriend calls a bimbo; really nice.” She rambles almost as long as her hips are wide.

“Oh, did I mention? For the American version, I’m bilangual: I speak fluent Canadian and American.” Her beautiful teeth shimmer as she smiles earnestly. Chris and Chef are floored.

“You know, I’m real happy there are no cameras in the room, otherwise uncle Chris might find himself on Twitter’s hitlist for saying this.”

“Saying what?” Chef cautiously asked.

“Man oh man I cannot wait to stare at that girl in 4k HD surround sound 1080p glory.” Sweat and drool coated Chris’s face as he spoke. Chef looked disturbed.

DJ

The audition opens with a stationary camera aiming at a tall Jamaican man with brick built arms and a picture of a middle aged black woman who looked a lot like him on display beside his bed. The setting was clearly his room, but the giant wasn’t just talking to his camera; he began to jump and flutter in the air, holding a pink ribbon as he paraded himself about his room wearing a white uniform for ribbon dancing. He finished his act with a split, never breaking eye contact or a smile away from the camera. Afterwards, the footage cut to him sitting on his bed.

“Yo! My name’s Devon Joseph, or DJ! I think I’d be a perfect fit for Total Drama, cause I’m kind, and strong, and sensitive, and most of all, I was raised right.” DJ lifts up the picture of his stern but proud mother folding her arms and points at it. “Thanks, mom! Without you, none of this would be possible.” He lets his smile fade.

“My Momma ain’t gonna be able to provide for herself forever. That’s why, if I win Total Drama, I’m gonna get her the best housing I can get her, make sure she never has to work again. I’d also love to join to diversify my skills and make more buddies! Thanks for your consideration.” He finishes it all off with a wholesome smile and wave.

Chef seems emotional. Chris is laughing almost gut bustling at the kid’s impassioned speech, but Chef is weeping. “W-woah, C-Chef, buddy it is not that funny.”

The brolic cook grabs Chris by the shirt violently. “It’s not funny at all! Kids got heart, man. Don’t you have a momma? HUH?”

The host looks away, no longer smiling. “Well.. I mean, yeah-”

“Well, do you?!” He shakes Chris.

“Yes! Yes, I do, okay? Why?”

“Ain’t it exactly like us starting out?” Chef whispers, sniffling.

“I dunno what you mean.” “I started in showbiz to provide for my momma, to make it big, to prove to her that I was more than a cook! I am a professional, and she raised me right! Do you understand?!” Chef wheezes, barely holding back tears. Now Chris is crying too.

“Yes, Chef! I understand!”  The odd pair begin weeping into each other's shirts, bawling their eyes out as the next audition plays.

Geoff

“What more do you need brah? Party central here. Beaches, babes, and some gnarly burgers being cooked up by my buddy Brody. Lifes a party and I’m always hostin’ dudes.” Geoff put his cowboy hat over his eyes and soon got hidden behind another surfer. “Geoff bro, Johnny got us hooked up with the other B!” “Brody! The other B…?” “Some beer bro! His cousin Tony was up working at the shop and he swung in!” “Oh heck yeah dude! Let’s go and do a buttchug or wait…” The two surfer dudes pointed at each other and nodded. “SHOTGUNNNNNN!” The two dude bros clapped a high five as they ran off to go find their fellow surfers. At this point Chris and Chef had to do some fast forwarding, Geoff had left the camera rolling for what felt like an eternity. Eventually the surfer wandered back to the beach chair and plopped down as if he didn’t leave the camera on for nearly an hour. “Yup, average life of a party horse. Stressful? Not at all my dudes. Times like these are what we live for.” As his cowboy hat covered his eyes a final time, Geoff was finally asleep… But once again forgot to turn off the camera. “He knew he was still talking to the camera and yet he still didn’t turn it off?” Geoff screamed frat boy city to Chef. That wasn’t a one hundred percent negative thing though, Chef used to hangout with a party monster named Party Pete. He’d always wondered what happened to ol’ Pete, everyone figured he’d just partied too hard.

“Correct. Chef, I know you’re not invited to too many parties and the ones you are invited to you usually aren’t the life of. Please note there are some unspoken rules of partying. Rule one? Nothing but the party matters. Geoff lives to party! You can’t hate the guy.” Chef wanted to hit Chris with a sassy remark back but.. Yeah, he couldn’t hate Geoff. The guy seemed actually cool, unlike an actual fraternity “party animal”. He was in.

LeShawna

“Yo, yo, queen LeShawna coming to y’all ready for anything. Loud n’ proud, large and in charge, anything your TDI crew can throw at me, I can handle.” LeShawna then began to bust a move or two shaking her arms, head, and her… You can guess what else. “Let me promise y'all this too, there ain’t no party like a LeShawna victory party. Figuring I’ll be the one throwing it at the end and all if you pick me consider yourselves invited.” Continuing her spa-dancing she bumped towards the camera doing a call me sign and cutting the tape short. “Short, sweet, and to the point. What do you think, Chef?” “I think it’s prolly the opposite of her. A sister like that? Haha big, mean, and crazy, don’t let that party nonsense fool you. Woo-weeee.” “He said it, not me. Easy to misinterpret quotes aside, is she fit for the show?” “Her? Heh, she might be one tough nut to crack but that’ll just make it all the more fun when she does.”

Duncan

The visual quality of this one is grainy and barely comprehensible. The audio is very clear, thankfully. It almost looks like security camera footage. And, made out by the grainy footage, is a green mowhawked teenager scaling a large building while the full moon provides mood lighting. Obviously, a criminal.

He’s scaling the building downward with a rope, cocky grin glued to his face as he glances between the ground below and the camera.

“Hey, Duncan here! Though I’m sure you know me considering I’m somewhat of a local celebrity around these parts.” He remarks with gusto.

“Yeah, photographers are taking my picture all the time. It’s because of my charm and good looks, which is also why I banged half of Davis High. That and because I live in a big house with tons of security cameras, guards and guard dogs to watch over me. Not to mention: no parents!”

“My best quality? Let’s just say, I’m stealthy, a real thinker. Tough, too. Yup, the whole cake package.”

He hops down, finally free from the wall. The rope drops and an alarm blares. A spotlight highlights him and the sound of ravenous guard dogs catches his attention. He breaks character for a second, eyes widening as he realizes what he has to do. He starts running, still looking into the camera. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat but I really gotta run. My parole officer will be in touch!”

The recording ends with static and muffled yelling. Chris and Chef nod at each other, raising their brows with interest.

“A convict? Very cool!” Chris exclaims, writing his name down.

“Finally, someone I can relate to.” Chef says, arms behind his head.

His co-host places a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t push it, man. You’re way better than some bratty delinquent.”

He smiles. “Thanks, man.”

Chris smiles back. “You’re welcome. Next!”

Heather

We hear the sound of a shower turning off and see a hand reaching for a towel sitting on the shower curtain. Walking into frame for the first time was Heather, she was easily identifiable by her sly ‘better than you’ grin. “Will I be nervous if I get picked to be on the show? As if. I’m incredibly comfortable being on television, it wouldn’t be my first rodeo you know.” Heather reached for another towel to put over her hair, rolling her eyes at just the thought of even being embarrassed on tv. “What would I have to be ashamed of? I’m PRETTY. While I’m sure the standards won’t be anything to brag about being higher than, I’m going to be a 12 entering an average of 4. If you get me on the show I’ll sell it myself if I have to.” She waved bye to the camera and walked off screen, the last thing seen in this tape is two towels being thrown in front of the camera signifying that Heather was a bare naked lady for just a mere moment. “Well Chef, I think I’ve seen all I need to see here. Ratings? Check.” “Yeah, RATINGS huh? Face it Chris, you got a thing for trust fund white girls!” “Actually, Chef it says here that she’s ASIAN. So maybe take your racial assumptions back to 1970?” Chef raised his brow in annoyance towards Chris’ antics. Damn fool was going to make him sound like some good old boy from down south! 

Gwen

Sitting cross armed in a computer chair is a goth girl in midnight blue who looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here. “Soooo… Am I supposed to sit here and do a talent or something? Why? So my tape can be shown off to the world and I can get laughed at? Not a chance I’d humiliate myself before I even get onto the show.” She rolled her eyes thinking about all the times she saw other people’s audition tapes make it onto the internet and they became laughing stocks for the world. She’d never leave herself vulnerable like that! “I’m Gwen. That’s all you trolls really need to know. I live with my mom and brother after my dear dad decided to leave us in the dirt for some floozy in Vermont. Yeah, Vermont , how desperate and deprived do you have to be?!” Just talking about her situation infuriated her. Was it too hard to just keep it in your pants?! “So look… I want to be on the show so I can try and win the prize money. If I ever want to go to college and help support my family I’m going to make more money than eight dollars an hour working my butt off in a kitchen.” Gwen wasn’t really sure how to sell herself without just trying to get pity from whoever was watching this. She wasn’t super talented or popular, she was just a down on her luck girl trying to provide for her family and future. “If you want someone there looking to win and not make friends, I’m your girl. If not… Whatever I guess.” That’s the last we see of the goth girl as the camera fades to black, leaving Chris and Chef to decide her fate. “Sounds like girl’s got it rough. First person I’ve seen other than DJ a while back who wants to spend the money on family.” “And you know what Chef? What’s more important than family? Sitting here with you, going through all these auditions… I think WE’RE family Chef. You get me, I get you. Same wavelength.” Tears started welling up in Chef’s eyes, did Chris really mean that? “Maybe I judged you too harshly, McLean. You ain’t a corporate puppet… You’re my BROTHER!” Chef leaned in and gave Chris a hug, embracing his co-host as if he truly was his own brother. 

“And you know what Chef? Family really sells!” The hug immediately ended and Chef pulled away disgusted. “Forget everything I just said, you ain’t my brother!” “What?! Don’t be jealous dude, I’ve got to think about the family business first ‘bro’!” “Don’t call me bro McLean! Just get on with the next tape!” Chef was beyond offended! Just when he thought maybe he’d touched Chris’ icy heart.

Owen

A choir of church boys and girls are seen singing on a particular busy night. The camera recording all of this is clearly a smart phone propped up awkwardly where it won’t be seen, particularly zoomed in on a large blonde kid. The choir, including him, sing Hallelujah, with the blonde looking more and more red, anxious and suspicious by the second. At the finale of the song, when the kid slowly draws out the “Halleluuuujah..”, applaus erupts and the choir bows. The fat boy tries to, but ends up hitting himself on his stomach instead. He then runs towards his phone, picks it up and speed walks into what looks like a lounge.

The camera is positioned under his swollen chin until he places it against the counter wall, showing himself off as he opens the fridge and eats as much as he can, from donuts to fruits to an entire pie. Between bites he speaks.

“Hi.. I’m Owen! And I’m so psyched to be joining TD! Woohoo.” He whisper-yells the woohoo, continuing to eat as someone knocks on the door to the lounge.

“Owen, sweetie, you were amazing! Can we see you?” A sweet voice beckons.

“In a second, mom, hehe!” He smiles forcefully, though his chuckle is very cute, almost mascot worthy. “What? I eat when I’m stressed.. I wanna be on TD to party, but most importantly to find new, less judgemental people to be friends with. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my folks here at home, but they’re really not always so open to new concepts, if you get my meaning. Anyways, my best qualities are my iron stomach and endless sense of humor! I promise we’ll have a blast, bro’s! Catch you later!” He downs an entire peach cobbler, covering himself in crumbs, jam, chocolate and sugar.

“Owen? Who are you talking to?” A mature voice demands.

Owen bites his lip, leaving his phone to answer the door. “Sorry, dad, here I come!” The door opens and the choir, as well as their families collectively gasp. “...What?”

“You know, the final piece of this puzzle is a mascot. This kid’s got likability, the cute factor and he seems two dimensional at least.”

“He better appreciate my damn food…” Chef snarls.

“A starving raccoon couldn’t appreciate your damn food, Chef. It’s alright, man.” Chris offers a hand to Chef’s shoulder. He slaps it, paining him greatly before digging a kitchen knife out of his pocket and brandishing it.

“I’ll kill you, Mclean!”

Chris stands up as Chef bolts forward to chase him around their office. “H-hey, wait! Producers! Chef is fighting me again!” Chris knocks on the door desperately. “O-oh, and we got our cast! So get those signed copies of signatures and contracts ready!”

“You ain’t gonna have a head to host with, you bastard!”

“You wouldn’t dare touch a hair on my head- Chef, no!”

Oh, Mclean will have a head to host with. Stay tuned: Total Drama Island premieres soon.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Parent Trap

PART 2

Marcus Moreno x Reader

It’s hereeee! Children’s shenanigans. Yearning. A kiss.

The Artist

The rest of the week went smoothly. Artemis was very excited to have a new friend and talked about Missy often.

Friday came around, and Shade had to inform the school that she was running late in picking Artemis up. A seller was taking his sweet time, in trying to decide which of the 2 pieces he wanted, before deciding he didn’t want either.

She was annoyed; it wasn’t uncommon for a seller to act like they wanted her work before making up some excuse as to why they were no longer interested. Nor was it uncommon for a person to try and haggle for lower prices, claiming ‘you should be grateful someone even wants your business.’

She was tired to say the least.

She finally, after 45 minutes, pulled up to the school, and made her way to Artemis’s class to pick her up. She was surprised when she saw Missy sitting with her.

“Missy? What are you still doing here honey?” Shade asked concerned.

“My dad’s running late, but I have no way of contacting him to find out what’s going on,” She admitted quietly.

Shade nodded in understanding, before pulling out her phone. Marcus had made sure to give her his number the other day when they saw each other dropping their kids off.

She called him. It took about 4 rings, before he answered, out of breath “Hey Shade.”

“Hey. So. I’m here with Artemis and Missy, are you uhh.. on your way hon?” She asked politely.

She hears him swear in the background before stating, “I promise I didn’t forget about her. It appears that someone has changed every clock I know. I haven’t been able to tell time for 90% of the day.”

“Haven’t been able to tell time eh? Funny. Had something similar happen the other morning when my alarm went off an hour early. Weird how these clocks… have just magically changed for both of us,” She noted staring at the two girls suspiciously.

Both of them shrugged acting like they have no idea what she was talking about, before looking away.

“Listen, can you tell Missy I am on my way, I swear,” He requested with a sigh.

“How about this… How about I take Missy home with me, and she can stay the night? In the morning, you can bring her a change of clothes, and pick us all up for our date,” She offered with a smile.

“Are... are you sure? It’s no problem for me to come and get her, it would just be a few minutes?” He questioned hesitantly.

“It’s not a problem. We will see you in the morning, yeah?” She assured.

“Sounds good, can I talk to Missy real quick?” He politely asked.

She handed her phone over to her, and they talked for a moment before she hung.

“Alright. Let’s get outta here,” She nodded her head toward the door.

The girls grabbed their things and the three of them were off.  

She gets them home and told them to get to work on their homework. She checked on dinner that was cooking in the crockpot. It was crockpot chicken and noodles.

The girls finished up their homework and were currently helping her set the table an hour later. They were both giggling and whispering to one another.

“Alright you two, enough with the whisper party. Go wash your hands, while I serve up dinner,” She tells them, shaking her head.

She grabbed their bowls and ladled them a healthy portion for all of them. She had made some fruit salad to go with it and gave them a small plate of it.

By the time their plates were ready, the girls were bouncing back into the dining room. They took their seats, and she joined them.

Missy began asking questions about Shade’s work.

“So, what kind of art do you do?” Missy politely asked.

“I do mostly pencil sketches and paint occasionally even though I don’t think I’m very good at it. Been working on some new stuff, but... Mh. not sure how I feel about it so far,” Shade explained to her.

“Ooh. What kind of new stuff?” Missy asked excitedly.

Shade went to wave it off as nothing when Artemis piped up, “She’s been drawing the Heroics and their most famous battles! Kinda like a comicbook! It’s so cool!”

“What!? That’s awesome! Can I see it sometime? I mean. If you’re okay with it?” Missy asked amazed.

“Hmm. Possibly. If…” Shade began.

“If what?” Missy questioned.

“If… you promise to fix your dad’s clocks, and not mess with them again. I understand that both of you are excited to be friends and want us to get along too, but messing with clocks and alarms is not okay,” She bargained looking at both of them.

They both looked down, wincing as they mumbled apologies and swearing that they would fix things.

“Apology accepted. Finish eating and I’ll show you my workshop,” She stated with a smile.

Both of them perked back up and began eating again happily.

Once they all had eaten and cleaned up, Shade led them to her workshop. She slid opened the double doors and presented it to Missy.

There were several desks, covered in pencils, graphite and colored, pens, paints, and brushes. There was an easel and some blank canvases resting in a corner. She walked over to one of her sketch books and opened it about midway.

“Just, uh, don’t touch the ink too much. It takes a long time to dry,” She informed them setting it down on the small table where Artemis held her art supplies.

Missy was amazed. She stared at all of the drawings of Miracle Guy, Sharkboy & Lavagirl, Tech-No, and many other Heroics.  She noticed one thing though.

“You haven’t drawn my dad yet?” She mentioned looking up at her.

“No. I haven’t. I for whatever reason… cannot seem to draw him. Every time I do, I worry I’ll mess it up. Your dad meant a great deal to me at one point,” Shade tells her, thinking fondly of Marcus.

Missy and Artemis looked at each other, a plan forming.

They spoke a little more about art and what Shade does before the girls ran upstairs to go play.

Or so Shade thought…

The Hero

Marcus was finishing up some paperwork that had piled up over the week when Miracle Guy stepped into his office.

“What are you still doing here, man? Shouldn’t you be at home? With your kid?” Miracle asked him.

“Can ask you the same thing, MG?” Marcus countered, referring to his nickname.

“Had a job I just came from. Mission report. Saw your light was still on, figured I should check on our fearless leader,” Miracle lightly teased.

Marcus simply hummed in response.

“So. What’s been going on with you? You’ve been jittery all week. I had thought it had something to do with the incident at Missy’s school, but now… not so sure,” Miracle brought up, sitting across from Marcus.

“Remember… when we first started out? I was with that artist?” Marcus began, biting his lip.

“Yeah. The really pretty one, that you wound up breaking up with, right?” Miracle recalled.

“Mh. Her daughter is now best friends with my daughter… and we have a date tomorrow… and I honestly… don’t know how I feel,” Marcus confessed, setting his pen down, the report no longer distracting him.

“Wh-… What? Seriously? Wow. What a small world? I mean… this is the first time you’ve gone out since Isabelle died right? I think it’s only natural that you’re nervous. But… it’s also with someone you’ve been with. I doubt she’s changed that much in 15 years,” Miracle noted with a shrug.

“Yeah. I just… hmm. I don’t know. I am nervous… but I’m also…excited? Happy? I mean… I wanted to marry this girl back in college, but life… got in the way. I guess… I’m just worried I’ll mess it up,” Marcus admitted with a sigh.

“Oh? You never told me that part? Listen. It’s one date. If you don’t feel sparks fly or whatever then, it’s not meant to be. But if you do, explore it. You deserve to be happy Marcus,” Miracle stated.

Marcus opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang.

He answers noticing it was Shade’s number.

“Hey, what’s-” He began.

“Dad! You should get over here! Like quickly! As fast as possible!” Missy voice came, rushed.

Marcus goes to question her, but the line ends.

Marcus quickly gets up, grabs his things and runs out to his car. The drive under normal circumstances was 20 minutes, but he was there in half that time.

He ran up to the door, banging on it, panicked.

When the door opened, Shade stood there, looking extremely confused.

“Marcus?” She greeted staring at him concerned.

“Are the girls okay? Missy called and told me I should get here,” Marcus explained quickly.

“Yes. They’re fine. They went upstairs to play?” She answered still confused.

“But they had your phone? And she sounded worried?” Marcus recalled the phone call.

She suddenly patted her pockets, looking around trying to find her phone.

The Artist

It slowly dawned on her what happened.

“GIRLS! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW” She yelled up the stairs.

A moment passed, and neither of them heard movement.

“I am so sorry Marcus. Artemis… must have grabbed my phone while I wasn’t looking,” She apologized, moving to go upstairs.

Marcus stopped her.

“Hey, so long as everyone is okay. Even though a CERTAIN YOUNG LADY IS GROUNDED. I’m sorry for almost busting your door down with my knocking,” He tells her, shouting part of his sentence up the stairs.

A loud groan could be heard in response.

“AS IS ANOTHER CERTAIN YOUNG LADY,” Shade mentioned loudly.

Cue another loud groan.

“Would… would you like some water?” Shade offered, twirling a lock of her hair.

“Yes. I would actually,” Marcus accepted gratefully.

The two of them stepped into her kitchen. Shade grabbed him a glass and filled it with water, before handing it to him. He downed about half of it, before setting it back down, wiping his mouth.

“So. What… what happened?” Marcus asked trying to understand.

She thought about it, trying to retrace the evening.

“Oh…. I showed them…some of my artwork… and Missy asked me why I hadn’t drawn you yet,” She realized.

“Oh? Ahem. So… Why…Why haven’t you drawn me yet?” He asked hesitantly and trying to hide his curiosity.

“I told her it was because… I was worried I would mess it up and that you meant a great deal to me… which is somewhat true… I have drawn you…but I always feel like… they didn’t do you justice,” She quietly admitted to him, not making eye contact. “Kind of hard to draw someone you were in love with for years. Especially when those feelings never quite went away.”

The Hero

He was surprised to hear that. He didn’t quite know how to respond. He did… know one thing though.

He moved around the island over to her.

“Forgive me… if this is too forward,” He whispered to her.

He gently cupped her face into his hands, and pressed a small, hesitant kiss to her lips. When she didn’t pull away or slap him, he kissed her again, but just a smidge longer.

He felt her arms move, sliding around his neck. He was extremely relieved when he felt her kiss him back. He lightly pinned her against her the island, his hands moving to her waist. They wrapped around her, pulling her close.

Their kiss lasted for a minute and would’ve gone longer if it weren’t for the fact that they heard giggles coming from the stairway.

They pulled away slowly.

“I told you that my daughter’s favorite movie was the Parent Trap, right? We’ve been Parent Trapped,” She whispered against his lips.

“You also said her number one favorite was The Mummy, which I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t unleash an unspeakable evil to get us together,” Marcus joked.

“This is true. You 2 are still grounded by the way, and Mrs. Moreno will be informed of that fact tomorrow when we leave you with her to go on our date,” She threw over shoulder.

There was a sound of 2 pairs of feet scurrying back upstairs.

“You… you still want to go out tomorrow?” Marcus inquired, hopeful.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. If you still want to,” She mentioned, biting her lip.

“Yeah. I do. Though… I think I should go grab my little delinquent, and take her home, so you can sleep without anymore “emergencies.” Plus, I apparently need to talk to her about boundaries,” Marcus noted as he slowly stepped away from her.

“Yeah. I apparently have to have a similar conversation. We’ll see you tomorrow?” She said with a smile.

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Umm. Just one last thing,” Marcus hurriedly said.

He pulled her into another kiss, that she returned with a sigh.

When he finally pulled away again, he simply said, “One wasn’t enough.”

He called for Missy to come downstairs and get her things. He told her that a slumber party will have to wait for another time. As he took Missy home, he couldn’t help the smile on his face, as he thought about Shade.

He knew his evening was far from over, but he couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

[genshinconfessions]

I totally agree with everything Katheryne and Anon just said in the last ask about the Inazuma quest (it was so unsatisfying? Like, the ending was epic or whatever, but just like, everything felt kinda empty?), and I feel like it really disappointing?

It left so much open/to be desired, for the characters especially. We got a pretty large cast of characters, and they all seem really cool and interesting, but we barely saw much of them. It was mostly rushing around and doing errands.

Also, parts of the story felt like they went nowhere to me? Or just got abandoned? Maybe some of it will be cleared up eventually but, eh...

Examples I can think of: -Traveler got Swordfish II, then they basically forgot about that as soon as the Teppei stuff happened -The resistance didn't really get a proper conclusion? We saw them storm the city, Kazuha did that thing (I hope they give him a character quest to get into that, like, tf) and then after everything went down we saw some of them in that cutscene, but not really anything that felt like closure (if there's something in world quests I wouldn't know, haven't done much there yet)

Also on a semi related not, I'm pretty sure someone (Yae I think) said something about Scara being stronger than Signora since he's No. 6 of the Harbingers and she's 8, which kinda implied Childe, No. 11, being the weakest? I'm not entirely sure I got that right tho so don't quote me on that

i agree!! you summed up the main points way better than i ever could HAHA but yes, it was just so unsatisfactory and there were so many plot holes :(( i kept thinking they'd be chekhov'ed but no, no they were not.

and no, scaramouche being stronger than signora is just a coincidence! the numbering system of the harbingers had been explained quite a while ago:

(source)

do keep in mind that though the wiki is run by fans, the mods fact-check everything and make sure not to post rumored information, so this is fairly trustworthy. i am not entirely sure why yae would say that scaramouche is more powerful because he's 6th :(( that's directly contradicts previous info given, but then again, we all know that the inazuma story seems... rushed HAHA so we can't rule out the wording being a mistake.

and as a childe main, i don't think our bloodthirsty ginger boy is the weakest at all! his character story explicitly says this:

(source)

and consider his background:

spoilers for childe's story

he fell into the abyss when he was 14, learned how to fight from skirk, a swordswoman who has presumably been in the abyss dealing with monsters for ages, and received knowledge of the foul legacy transformation.

just that alone is Very Very powerful, but let's not forget that he has both a vision AND a delusion! we were never given the story for how he got his vision (where most characters have a vision story, he has a delusion story) but we can most definitely assume that the gods saw and appreciated him. hydro vision, electro delusion, AND power of the abyss? this dude is POWERFUL.

also, he's not afraid of chaos. there's a saying in china used to describe someone like that, 唯恐天下不乱, roughly translated as '[someone] whose only fear is that the world isn't chaotic', and that's childe to a T. this dude is not afraid to die, which means he's got nothing to lose, and those kinds of ppl are actually the scariest. he's fighting with everything he's got because he LOVES it like, geeeez this dude is a walking death flag.

i'm real sorry for taking the point of the post away. the point is that the inazuma story didn't seem well-planned, but if mihoyo ends up explaining that later, we can all be pleasantly surprised!

- katheryne from liyue

[dukeofonions]

Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want. 

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine. 

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare! 

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking! 

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming. 

Like, bruh. 

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes? 

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there. 

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time. 

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides. 

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time. 

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno. 

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious. 

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner. 

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit. 

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed. 

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it. 

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode. 

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it. 

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both. 

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see. 

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three. 

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes. 

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good. 

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off. 

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one. 

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation. 

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal. 

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much. 

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable. 

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as. 

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed. 

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right. 

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out. 

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas. 

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this. 

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit. 

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone. 

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through. 

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives. 

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 3

Hek. I woke up today and found that my FNP phic has 41 notes and my DGROIDEIID phic is gaining attention and reblogs; holy shit. And I woke up at noon. It’s Saturday. I sleep in on such days. Anyways. Last I checked, Val and Danny were gonna go get Dani, but we need some Dip and Mabs action cause I forgot last night. I will probably develop an uploading schedule later. For now, just have random updates. I might even make a side blog for this shit.

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Chapter 3

Dipper stood off in the background as Danny got into an argument with a dracula ghost. By the amount of times he heard Plasmius, this must’ve been Vlad. Danny looked pissed when he finished. He still took Dipper and Mabel to their classes, but when they tried to find him at lunch, he was absent.  “I wonder where he is?” Mabel pondered.  “I’m sure he just had something to do,” Dipper replied. Some guy walked up to their table.  “Hey, you’re the kids Fenton is touring. Listen, he’s Phantom and I have proof!”  “And you are?” Mabel said patiently. “Wes Weston. Listen, you gotta believe me!” “We legit just moved here, we have no clue what you’re talking about. Leave us alone,” Dipper said. Wes looked taken aback.  “Fine! Fenton better worry. I will expose him. I just need more proof,” Wes stalked off. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look.  “Should we be worried?” He asked Mabel. “He seems to have it under control,” 

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Danny stared off into the daylight as they flew. Val set down.  “Come on. She’s fine. Why are you losing it?” “Just a certain Wisconsin Ghost told me about you keeping her,” “Vlad?” “Wait, you know?” “I’ve known since I met Dani,” “Jeez. I’ve known since I met the guy during my parents college reunion. I’m still pissed at him for that whole invisble wall fiasco,” “That was him?” “Yeah. I mean, I started it, but he kept trying to get in my mom’s pants. I needed to put him down a peg,” “You made his wall invisble!?” “Yeah. But it’s not like being naked on camera is going to tell the public any secrets,” “I’m confused. Why do care so much?” “It’s nothing,” Danny grunted. They were headed to the basement. “It seems to be something,” “I have things I’d prefer not to reveal to the entire school,” “No one saw your dick. You managed to catch it in time,” Val was confused. Danny laughed.  “Hey Val. Why would a guy have a female clone? Oh right. I forgot to tell you. Dani is more or less my clone because Vlad was being extra creepy,” “Weird. So she isn’t your cousin. Wait. OH MY GOD! Danny, I understand completely. If Dash knew, you’d be dead meat,” Val caught on quickly. Danny couldn’t but laugh at the dead meat. “Hey! What’s funny?” “I am dead meat Val!” “I’m an idiot. Anyways, we’re here,” She opened the basement door. Dani was sitting on the couch.  “Danny? Val? What’re you guys doing here. Shit, sorry Danny,” “It’s fine. She knows,”  “Who else knows anyways?” Val said.  “You, Jazz, Tucker, Sam and literally all the ghosts,” “Vlad included?” “Vlad included,” “And Amity Park can’t connect the dots?” “No one knows Danny Phantom has a human life. I’d be seriously pissed if someone told the general public,” “That’s fair. Anyways. We’re here because a certain Dracula cosplayer told Danny you were in danger,” Val said. Danny snorted. “Dracula cosplayer? I have to use that on him,” “Why would anyone think that’s a good look?”  “My ‘dad’,” Dani said. Thus causing both her and Danny to break out in laughter. “Where does the whole cousin thing come in?” Val asked. “My ‘Unkie Vlad’. It’s his way of making me family,” “Unkie?” Val looked lost. “I like being a little bitch to him,” “He deserves it! You should expose him,” “If I expose Plasmius, Masters exposes Phantom,” “Oh jeez,” “And there is a very good reason not to expose Phantom. And they wear way too much white,” Dani said quietly.  “I’d prefer not to get dissected,” Danny said haughtily. “They already want to,” Val made a noise of disgust.  “How could anyone with a set of morals do that?” “Heh. I’m a ghost. Not really real to most of the world. I don’t have feelings. Don’t feel pain,” Danny repeated what the ghost hunters had told him way too many times.  “That sounds awful, but we should get back to school. Cya Dani!” Val waved and put on her helmet.  “Hey, wanna leave the quick way?” “What do you mea- AAAAAAAH!” Val screamed as Danny made them both go intangible and up through the roof. “Never. Do that again,” “Hey, at least you didn’t end up going through the table and random floors and get banned from handling anything fragile,” “I’m confused,” “When these powers first came in, I was stuck dropping everything. From my pants to beakers,” “Oh jeez. So, why aren’t nerd and nerdette with you?” “Tucker had to go see a doctor out of town and Sam’s mom took her to this convention thing. They’ll be back tomorrow,”  “No comment on the nicknames?” “They’ve been called worse,” Danny shrugged. “And I’ve been shoved in way too many lockers to care,” “I have one last question. Why on earth would you try to date me when I was trying to kill you? And why did you destroy the suit when I could’ve been inside?” “That’s two questions. But Fenton and Phantom needed a distinction, and I knew you weren’t inside. Technus was controlling the suit,” “You are a mystery,” “I’d like to keep it that way,” “You won’t tell anyone my secret if I don’t tell anyone both of yours?” “That makes it sound like you’re going to tell one of them,” “That’s not what I meant,” “We need to come up with an excuse as to why The Red Huntress suddenly has a truce with Phantom,” “Later. I need coffee,” “I couldn’t agree more,” The plume of blue air showed up. “OH COME ON!” “What,” “I have to deal with something,” Danny sped off. 

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Dipper and Mabel looked at the chaos in the caf.  “Students! Hide under tables! Ghost Hunters and/or Phantom will be here soon,” Mr Lancer yelled into a megaphone. “Already here!” Someone yelled. A flash of white said Phantom. There was blue ghost throwing boxes around.  “I am the BOX GHOST!” It yelled. “Yeah, we know. Just say it already,” “I will win this fight with boxes of... spoons! BEWARE!” “Don’t you know not to bring a spoon to a knife fight?” “You do not have a knife!” “No, but I do have a thermos!” Phantom pulled out a green and grey thermos and flipped the lid.  “I will not stay in your cylindrical object!”  “Looks like you’re gonna have to,” Phantom pressed a button and a beam of light came out of the thermos and sucked the Box Ghost inside. “Is everyone okay?” Kids pushed out from under the tables.  “Phantom! Will you sign my book?” Dash said. This must be a cruel joke.  “Ghost boy! The Fenton Peeler is back in action,” “Whoops, gotta go!” Phantom dashed off as Jack and Maddie Fenton came rushing in. “Darn it. Missed him again,” They ran off. Danny walked into the caf and ran over to them. “You guys are lucky that your first ghost attack was the Box Ghost. Harmless,” “Doesn’t look very harmless to me! That’s gotta’ve been at least a level 5,” Dipper opened the journal. “Nah. Box is a solid 2. Hardly a step up from an ectopus. Might get concerned if Desiree shows up. She’s a level 5,” “What’re you?” “We more or less tested it. Pretty sure I’m a 7,” “That means they aren’t a big concern to you most days,” “Mmm. King Pariah was a level 10. That was terrifying. Vlad’s an 8. Convinced he’s a 9,”  “Okay,” “Skulker gets to be a 6 on a technicality. Without the suit, he’s a 1. He can be an 8 on a bad day. I think Frostbite is a 9. He won’t bother you guys though. Dan must’ve been a 9, but I’m not going into that. Technus is an 8, but can be a 10 if he gets his hands on the right tech. Clockwork is an 11, which technically doesn’t exsist, but Clockwork breaks the mold. He won’t bother you unless you end up destroying the world in the future,” Danny shivered.  “Who’s Dan?” Mabel looked confused.  “Nobody. Just a horrible way to learn not to cheat on tests,” Danny shivered again. “But that’s not important. I didn’t cheat on the CAT,” “Your life seems more hectic than Gravity Falls sometimes,” Dipper said. “Where is that? I’ve never heard of it,” “Oregan. Never Mind All That,” He knew the rules. “You know, the way you say that is kinda creepy,” “We’d be breaking the law if we told you why,”  “Jesus. Well, it’s not like we’ll get another Pariah unless an idiot thinks it’s a good idea. He’ll never get his hands on the crown of Fire,”  “Time Out,” Dipper and Mabel looked around.  “Umm, CW, why aren’t they out with everyone else?” “They’ve met Cipher. At this point, I cannot pause time for them,”  “Eh, whatever. Mason, Mabel, this is Clockwork. What’d you need?” “I actually came to speak to you about the Crown of Fire. In defeating Pariah, you gained ownership,” “I, uh, did what now?”  “Gained ownership of the Crown. Though in your case, it would be the Crown of Ice,” Clockwork repeated. Danny looked lost.  “I don’t need to be the King of the Ghost Zone,” “Someone must take the place. It’s your duty,” Danny looked like he was about to have a full on panic attack.  “Can it wait?” “Two years is a long wait as is,” “B-but it went thousands of years before!” “Because they failed to remove the crown and it wasn’t a singular person,”  “What’s two years in the Ghost Zone? As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t seem like a long time. Walker was gonna give me a thousand year prison sentence,”  “You get some time, but I’ll tell you, if you take the crown, the Ghost Zone enters an era of peace unprecedented,”  “Danny, what’s happening,” Mabel asked. Danny snapped and started hyperventilating.  “I can’t. No. Why? I just wanted to keep the world safe! Is that too much to ask?” “Daniel, you do get time to think about it. Just remember, time can pass however fast or slow I want it too,” “Right, of course. Cya CW,”  “Time In,”

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Danny trudged home. Exhaustion and anxiety gripped him. Mason and Mabel had been concerned, but he wasn’t about to explain everything. He’d talk to Sam and Tucker tomorrow. It didn’t help that he’d had gym after lunch. At least there wasn’t any more disappearing walls.  “Danny! How was school?” Mom asked as he walked in the door.  “Great!” Danny said and rushed upstairs. He’d deal with The Box Ghost in a minute. Jazz stood in his doorway. She didn’t know about Dan, but she did know about Pariah. “Danny, is everything okay?” “No, everything is not okay!” “What happened? Is it Dash again? We should report him,” “It’s not just that. You remember the Pariah incident?” “Yeah, you don’t just forget that,” “Well, turns out that by beating him, I ‘gained ownership’ to the crown,” “That doesn’t sound bad exactly,” “It’s horrible!”  “How?” “I just wanna be a kid, ya know? It’s hard enough living a double life, but ruling the Ghost Zone? I’d have no chance to do anything remotely useful in the human world,” “You wouldn’t need to. If you ruled the Ghost Zone, ghosts wouldn’t come here anymore,” “The King can’t enforce rules in the Human World. It’s just scary,” 

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Aight, that’s a chapter, I guess. The ideas tend to come from random places, and my brain is running out of ideas. I need to do another “planning session” which is coming up with scenarios in my head to make sure they make sense.

[clawsup]

CHIN IN HANDS I WANNA HEAR ABOUT ENID

whoops! my Secret Technique, having WAY too many things to say about enid marlow

favorite thing about them: shes absolutely so rude <3. shes just a little freak i love her. its like the one meme with the anime guy saying hes a genius and then OH NO. full of hubris #girlboss

least favorite thing about them: I think she like. doesn't really have object permanence. shes like a cat if that makes like any sense. If someone isn't on the same team as her or right in front of her they may as well not exist and this ends up making Many Issues. like i think she was pretty close with trin but when trin left she kinda just went 'who?' and repressed that they were friends. then befriended lorcan about it who bullied her into actually still talking to trin (on the rare occasion) which then leads to one of those unfortunate situations when the meet up where its like you were once super close friends w/ this person but just kinda. grew apart.

favorite line: "FIRE AND SMOKE AN EGG HATCHING YORK SILK RETURNS ENID MARLOW RETREATS TO SHADOWS" super early on as far as enid on the crabs go but god do i rotate this in my head. i super like the hc that enid is the one who necromanced york and then IMMEDIATELY faced consequences about it. It also a neat parallel in my mind between mikey t willingly going into the shadows for jaylen, someone he really cares about, and enid just fucking around to help some random lady (nagomi) bring her son back to life and then Find Out About It.

brOTP: no doubt in my mind bevan underbuck. I think that they have such an interesting dynamic w/ enid fucking around and finding out and having to learn to Not Do That from bevan and bevan learning to speak up more for themself from enid. My personal hc that the pitcher hallway of crab fame rlly started when bevan just accidentally moved into the same building as brock berite and finn, and then finn just moved into their bathtub. Then when enid joined finn went "yeah she was a pitcher" and invites her to crash on bevans couch (without telling bevan) and bevan goes wtf before being a bit of a doormat about it. Enid after a while absolutely could move out but simply just doesn't and her and bevan just start getting along super well, like just subconsciously knowing stuff off of vague body language level. not fully related but i also like to imagine that they (used to??) house sit for brock and bertie and were like. in the house watering the plants or smthin when brock got incinerated and had that game on in the background and Well. Things Got Awkward. i also like to think enid and bertie specifically have a weird dynamic bc bertie disapproving of what enid did to 'help' nagomi and york. also if not bevan i think her and kaz absolutely have a sibling dynamic. like enid hasn't talked to kaz in years until he joins the crabs bc like [points least favorite thing about enid] but theyre immediately just like talking like theyve been regularly hanging out together for years. OTP: honestly i don't rlly have any? i think her and bevan could be kinda cute but im not too into it as much as i am them just being bffs. trin and her could also kinda be cute but that ship sailed when trin went to go get a law degree. oh actually i literally just now thought of her and fran going out on one of frans iconic 'dates every new player that joins the wings' thing but like the frans stuck on the crabs boss rush version. not a ship but i think theyd have fun

nOTP: also none tbh? i mean like i guess her and kaz bc my headcanons on those two but also if someone had dif enid/kaz takes and had em as a i thing i dont think id largely care beyond being like 'eh thats not for me'

unpopular opinion: I don't know if this is really that unpopular as it is a thing no one rlly talks about but i still do feel about about but i do still feel bad about Whatever went down to actually get her on our team.

song I associate with them: probably this despite me just saying that i dont rlly have any romance hc for enid. iirc like awhile back my sister just put this on while i had to drive her somewhere and i went 'hm. enid' for fairly obvious reasons.

favorite picture of them: tbh either any drawing of enid by buzz of captainbuzzard fame or any drawing of cool fucked up praying mantis enid by gob of stainedglassgoblin fame

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7  Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11  Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (Platonic) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1918

Warnings: Language, A tiny bit of Angst

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

So, Hi again, I know I said that the next chapter would be shorter but I kinda got carried away with the story, hopefully you guys don’t mind XD As mentioned before All requests and imagines are open, any constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy Everyone! (I just noticed I linked the wrong page for Chapter 1, not a very good tech student am I? XD)

A few days later-

The right side of my face felt like it was on fire, a constant ache reminding me of what happens when I fail my task, boss handed my ass to me in more ways then one. The damn beatings from the boys made me too weak to stop the bastard named Greg from running off and calling the police, the dick decided to hand himself in instead of spending time with yours truly, which in all honesty is understandable, any sane person would turn and leg it away from a small lass looking like she went 5 rounds with a bear.

Perhaps walking around in the middle of the day isn’t the best idea when your face looks like the rear end of a smashed-up truck, people were stopping and staring at me, it was really doing miracles for my self-esteem (Notice my sarcasm there). I’d already managed to screw up this “mission” anyway, staying undetected with a face like this is nearly impossible, my decision of winging it this morning coming back to bite me in the ass within the first 5 minutes out the house. Safe to I was royally buggered, both literally and figuratively.

My mind was buzzing with different techniques and plans I needed to get the next target, maybe I could break into his house and dig up some dirt on this guy, from what I’ve been told that should be easy considering the dirt bag’s cheating on his wife with the maid from the apartment be- whatever train of thought I had was completed obliterated, somehow my ass hand ended up on the floor. Again. Irritation flooded my veins, whoever did better be ready to dig themselves an early grave, looking up my eyes made contact with the one person who I wished to never see again. Bucky f**king Barnes. “Why is it every time I see you, you’ve somehow managed to piss me off? Is that how you greet everyone or am I just that Special?”, I was met with silence. Not unnerving at all, glancing at him I noticed he was staring at my face with wide eyes, immediately I pulled myself from the floor and ran like hell in the opposite direction.

 This is not an ideal situation, to anyone else it’d look like I was running for the bus, when I was actually running for my life, “y/n! stop!” like that’s gonna bloody happen ya moron there’s a flipping reason I’m running, cause I ain’t doing it for fun!I already know I’m gonna regret doing this, my feet changed direction and guided my body down a small but familiar ginnel, two lefts and a right later I was approaching a wall, adrenaline was rushing through my body as I launched myself at the wall. Surprisingly I didn’t faceplant and managed to get a hold of the top of the wall, the lower half of my body erupted in sharp pains, but I needed to ignore them, quickly pulling myself up and leaping off to the other side. As soon as my feet touched the floor I was off, I didn’t really wanna know if Bucky saw what I did or where I went, I might not like the guy, but he doesn’t need to get tangled up in with a hopeless case like me.

Once I was certain that I’d lost him, I crouched down behind some bins and attempted, key word attempted, to catch my breath. I’ll admit that was way too close, anyway why does he care? I was and still am being a complete dick to him, does he not get the hit that I’m not his number one fan? Eh, when’ve I cared?  it’s just me against this bullshit world and I’m pretty sure that ain’t gonna change anytime soon. Now fully recovered, I emerged from my hidey hole and… walked right into Bucky. “What the Hell?! Are you some form of f**cking ninja or something, did you not get that don’t wanna talk or do I need to give you a formal letter?!”, he just stared at me with raised eyebrows and let me finish my rant, cocky bugger.

 “You done running now? Wanna try telling me who the hell did this?”, okay who the hell crapped him is cereal? “Nobody, I simply fell of a bike earlier on this week avoiding the village idiot”, giving me, an incredulous look Bucky sighed and covered his face in exasperation. Seeing an opportunity to get away, I slowly started edging away and to be fair, I nearly got past him before he grabbed my arm, “do you really expect me to believe that y/n?”.

The glare I sent him could have made Satan himself piss his pants, but Bucky didn’t even flinch much to my frustration, “Believe it, don’t believe it all in all I couldn’t give a shit, now let go of my arm before I rip it off “I’m pretty sure I just growled at him. And of course, the dick does the opposite and tightens his grip on my arm, wait is he dragging me?! The hell! do I look like dog on a leash? “Fine then don’t tell me, but you’re coming to my house to get cleaned up” his tone was final and left no room for arguments, but it’s me, when have I ever backed down from a challenge? “Nope, nah, not happening I can take care of myself thank you very much, now I’ll ask you one last time. Let. Go. Of. My. Arm.”

My voice held so much spite, I hardly recognised it as my own, “No” and with that he picked me up, ignoring my protests, and started carry me to his home

.-40 minutes later

How the hell Bucky managed to carry me for this long, I have no idea, for a lad of 14 he’s impressively strong and that’s the annoying thing, I’ve been trying to get off him for the past 40 minutes and even my hardest punches and kicks just seemed to tickle him. At one point he even started laughing at my threats, which added to my burning rage, the urge to smack this cocky son of a gun was hard to contain at this point. I’ve no idea what neighbourhood were in, it resembled a perfect suburban hub, the ideal place to settle down and raise a family, I wonder what it’s be like to be apart of a fully functioning family coming home to people who loved you…it must be nice. 

 Unknown to Bucky, a single tear slid down my face, my heart longing for a family to call my own, but that’d never happen, hell according to my parents I wasn’t even supposed to exist, by the time my mother realised she was pregnant it was too late to get an abortion. I was a curse that ruined their lives and their relationship, I’ve got the scars to prove how much of a waste of space I am, “You okay back there? You’ve been quite for more than two minutes” Bucky’s voice cut through my thoughts, for a minute I’d forgotten where I was. Okay that’s enough of feeling sorry for yourself y/n, pull yourself together you’ve managed this long without anyone, “Hello? Are you asleep of somethin?” I swear down this guy is more annoying then my conscious sometimes, “Nope I was thinking of all the different ways I can kick ya ass later buddy boy”, his body vibrated with laughter as Bucky let out a load laugh at my reply. 

Do you see what I’m dealing with here ?!, “Good to know you’re back to the you’re ever cheerful self doll”, what in the name of ever loving fudge?! “Since when did I become your doll Barnes? last time I checked slingin’ a girl over your shoulder and carrying her off isn’t the way to get a girl!” all the bugger does is laugh, laugh I tell you! this boy is gonna be the death of me. “You sure about that doll face? cause it worked for me”.

I could practically see the stupid smirk on his face, also can someone explain to me why I’m blushing? For once I had nothing say, my sarcasm failed me…damn it. A low chuckle brought my attention back to the annoyance with legs, more commonly known as Barnes, “We’re almost home Doll, Mama should be able to clean you up in no time” oh no, no, no I don’t do well with parents, or any adult now that I think about it, they always have this look of pity in their eyes when they see me. It’s like they’ve just found a homeless kitten on the street and feel the need to adopt it and take care of it until they get bored, it’s infuriating and embarrassing, “Oi! Barnes, I ain’t telling you again I can look after myself, your mama doesn’t need to trouble herself with me I’m perfectly capable of cleaning myself up!” he let out another frustrated sigh, he must be going for a record it’s the 20th one, before ignoring me completely and walking up the drive.

“Yeah you keep saying you okay by yourself but look at the state of you y/n! you’ve got a busted-up nose and lip, a black eye and a cut on you’re eyebrow! How the hell is that taking care of yourself?!” for once he did have a point, but hell’s gonna have to freeze over before I admitted that, “Not that you’d know this Barnes, but this is what happens every day, I have to make my own livin’ I ain’t got anyone to rely on and it’s been that way for years, it’s how I like it! now put me the hell down before I kick ya ass to China!”.

The sound of an opening door stopped Bucky’s reply, “JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING LUGGIN’ THIS POOR GIRL AROUND LIKE A SACK OF POTATOS?! PUT HER DOWN NOW!” holy mother of all things holy I do NOT want to be on the receiving end of this lady’s anger! I think my ass is attracted to the floor, one minute I’m being held captive by an annoying pillock and the next I’m on the floor nursing a bruised behind, “Jesus Christ talking about letting a girl down quickly!” hands grabbed my upper arms and pulled me to my feet, Bucky’s apologies faded into the background when a shocked gasp silenced the conversation. Slowly I raised my head, Bucky’s mother had tears falling down her cheeks, her brown eyes were filled with the two emotions I hated the most, pity and sadness.

 Not being able to keep eye contact any longer, my gaze shifted to the porch floor, her shadow slowly started to move towards me, she was being cautious as if she were approaching a wild animal and I hated it. I hate seeing people treat me like a basketcase, I can’t stand it “I’m very sorry for disturbing you ma’am, I’ll leave” I quickly turn around and start to walk away, about 3 steps in a gentle hand grabs my shoulder and stops me. “Sweetie, you don’t have to apologise for anything, come inside I’ll get you cleaned up, Bucky, honey Steve’s inside with your father and sister” and with that Bucky’s mother guides me inside with a comforting hand and a gentle smile. 

Soooo..yeah this happens, I’m not gonna lie I felt really bad writing the sad bit about the reader, I may have teared up a tiny bit, anyway YAY chapter 2 is outta the way!. Hope you all liked it  :)Rose xx

[anystalker707]

Lights, camera and fuck off (4/4)

Pairing: Gerard Way x Fem Reader Genre: Fluff Word count: 2 349 Requested by @liv-silver1​ Summary: It seems like Gerard wants to tell reader something. Will he have the guts to?

The kitchen is filled with the smell of coffee and pancakes as I prepare some, with music playing in the background, though not too loud since Gerard's still asleep. Or was when I woke up. Nonetheless, it doesn't really matter, the quiet ambient is good enough.

As much as half of me already waited for it, I'm still surprised when arms suddenly wrap around my torso and Gerard's beard scratching against my neck makes me shrink with the tickling sensation. He chuckles at my reaction and places a kiss on my neck, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Good morning," I greet him with a smile, receiving a lazy hum in response.

I continue cooking, Gerard continues there – he's warm, so it's quite pleasing. He stands still until I finish the pile of pancakes on the plate. With it, I believe he'll let go to eat or so I'm able to set the used dishes in the sink and all, but no. He continues there, the same way, not moving a muscle.

"Gee? You fell asleep there?" I joke with a chuckle. I would certainly turn to check on him if our position allowed me to.

It takes Gerard a moment, but he eventually moves; he adjusts his position, though still doesn't let go. "I can't stay away from you," he groans quietly and finally pulls away from me, stepping back to let me do what I need to before turning to him.

"We're in the same house," I tell him with a smile as taking the plate to the kitchen table, placing it with the rest of the food. "You're not really away from me if you're here, even more if you're just a few steps away." My purpose is mostly to tease him since I do know what he means. I don't think we do spend much time away from each other because we're often at least in the same room, whenever possible.

Gerard pouts as rolling his eyes, pulling me to a hug before I can notice. Sighing softly, I hug him back anyways, resting my head on his shoulder as enjoying the calming sensation he brings me. It feels like he's got something to say and there are a few specific options which would leave him in this shy state.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask, half of me curiously while the other half mostly wants him to start speaking and eventually feel encouraged to blurt out whatever he's holding back.

"Eh, kinda, y'know," Gerard says after a moment of thinking. I pull away to face him – he smiles shyly at me – and press my lips to his in a soft kiss. He hums appreciatively against my lips. The way his hands feel tense around my hips end up confirming my assumptions about something bugging him. Anyways, there must be a reason why he still didn't tell me about it, so I won't push it further.

.

"I think it'll rain later," I say as looking up – it's not like I can see the cloudy sky properly through the trees' leaves, but the specific cold wind going through them and giving us chills tells me enough. Averting my attention to Gerard, I see him looking up at the same direction I did seconds ago before his gaze moves to me.

"'Guess so," he replies, pulling on my hand again for us to continue walking; dry leaves and fallen sticks crack under our feet, creating a rather pleasing sound.

After we had lunch in a restaurant, he told me he'd like to come here for a walk in the woods and of course I accepted. I don't know if it's because I'm with him, but it always brings me certain peace. That's not something easy to explain, but it's calm. Like if there's no weight on hour shoulders. A kind of synchrony with... everything, I guess.

Gerard clearly wants to reach the clearing or maybe the creek, considering the way he takes. Both places are really beautiful and we usually go there many times since Gerard likes making sketches of the views. There are leaves and flowers pressed between the pages of his sketchbook – ones which I find in the way there and give him –, sometimes with something written. The places are naturally connected to a lot of happy memories.

Our plans, however, seem to change in the moment I feel the first cold, thick drop of rain falling on my hand. I plan to not mention about it – since Gerard seems determined to get there for some reason unknown to me –, but it's practically impossible with more and more drops following close. The rain catches us earlier than we thought.

A sigh escapes my lips as Gerard stops and furrows his eyebrows at the sky, like if silently cursing it. Behind the annoyed expression, I can notice an air of frustration.

"We should return," I tell him, pulling lightly on his hand. "'Don't want any of us catching a cold," I smile softly in an attempt of cheering him up. Gerard hums quietly as turning to look at me, nodding.

In our way back to the car, we barely exchange a word, more worried about rushing back to it. The atmosphere is noticeably heavier once we sit inside the car, in silence, with just the muffled sound of the rain against the car echoing in the small ambient besides our heavy breaths.

Gerard seems bothered and I wonder if I did something wrong. He looks out the windshield glass with an expression I can't really decipher and I observe him in an attempt of checking if my assumptions are right.

I'm startled with Gerard's eyes suddenly averting to me, blushing and about to apologize, but the unexpected smile over his face stops me from doing it. It doesn't seem forced, though the frustration didn't leave him, showing itself even in the way his shoulders fall.

He pulls me to a soft kiss, wordlessly comforting me and pushing away all my worry. Well, at least most of it.

"I love you," Gerard says softly, caressing my cheek lightly with his thumb while his other hand wraps around mine, both over my lap. "I've been falling in love with you since the first day we met."

A smile cracks my lips before I can notice and I can feel my cheeks burning again. I breathe a happy chuckle, "I love you more than you can ever imagine." I say back, softly. Carefully, I raise a hand to pull one of the now wet stands away from his face, smiling as I bring him for another kiss.

~

My attention is on my phone until I see Gerard in the walking in the room – the frustration is still present, though not as much as before. There's a smile on his face as he comes to sit down beside me, wrapping his arms around my torso as making himself comfortable next to me. He leans his head against my shoulder after pressing a kiss to my cheek and it's quite peaceful.

Just the faint sound coming from the until now neglected TV fills the room. It's a nice weekend, anyways, without anything much to do aside from lazy cuddles, even more with the cloudy weather.

"We should go outside," Gerard suggests out of sudden, his voice barely anything above a whisper. "It's going to rain again. I like watching the rain." He hums questioningly as nuzzling my neck, placing a kiss on it.

"Sounds nice," I smile, pressing a kiss to his head before reaching for the remote control to turn off the TV. How he was leaning against me, the sudden motion makes him fall to the couch without any warning – the playful complaining coming from him makes me laugh.

There's another couch in the back veranda – the place itself is quite wide, with a table where sometimes we'll have lunch when the others are over. It's also a good place to hang out, talk or even cuddle. The view of the garden is a nice one and Gerard likes to make sketches of it too. Or of anything that catches his attention, really, what's many things. So, of course, the familiar sketchbook is in his hand, along with his ink pens and charcoal pencils, as we walk to the outside.

The couch is cold, but not unpleasingly, quickly growing warm after we sit down on it. Gerard sits back on the couch, his sketchbook over the armrest for support. Meanwhile, I pull my legs over the cushion and lean against him; we're pretty much like in an exact inversion of the position we were in minutes ago.

"You feel like home," Gerard tells me suddenly, his voice quiet while his attention doesn't even leave his sketchbook. His words make me blush and crack a stupid smile; I bury my face in his shoulder, trying to hide my red cheeks.

"You do too." I press a kiss to his cheek, sighing happily as averting my eyes to the garden.

Just like earlier, the wind makes the trees' leaves and the plants shake, bringing more rain clouds with it and also creating a pleasing sound.

Our silence makes me think and, with the day unconsciously playing in my head, I notice something.

"You're being extra sweet today," I tell Gerard, playing with the folds of his hoodie over his arm. "Is there any special reason?" I ask more of teasingly, believing I'll finally find out whatever he's holding back. I don't really think there's anything apart from him just wanting to act sweeter or something similar, particularly, however, the way his cheeks redden do sparkle my curiosity.

Gerard opens his mouth to reply, his hand tightening a bit around his pencil, but nothing comes from him at first. He glances at me with an emotion I can't really identify and seems to have given up on saying something before finally speaking up.

"No, I," he shrugs, "I just wanted to." The red tone on his cheeks intensify as he twists his lips lightly whenever nervous, looking at me by the corner of his eyes.

A chuckle escapes my lips and I reply, "okay then." Well, it's probably to do with earlier – both the tension from the morning and whatever related to the woods earlier, but I can't think about what it could possibly be neither am I going to question him about it directly. At least yet.

Sighing happily, I lean my head against his shoulder again, my attention averting to the garden. It's not exactly sleepiness, but a similar feeling takes over me with all the comfort brought by the situation.

Unlike earlier, the raindrops that start falling from the sky are thin, signing that the rain will certainly last longer. It makes both of us noticeably relax with the new mood we're set in. I play with the hem of Gerard's hoodie, unconsciously trying to find a pattern in the sounds of the pencil against the paper and the small motions of his arm.

Suddenly, I'm pulled away from my thoughts. Gerard's sketchbook is held out in front of me and I instinctively take it in hand, looking at Gerard in seek for any explanation just to be met with none.

I try waiting, but I'm just able to notice he's probably blushing and I don't know if the fact of what's visible of his face being covered with hair proves it or not. Shrugging lightly, I turn to the sketchbook to see what's it.

A detailed drawing of Gerard and I is on the pages, with a few things written and some flower petals pressed to the paper. I take my time to observe the drawing – that's truly wonderful –, taking in all the details, before my attention moves to what's written.

You make every day worth living. You've shown me what love feels like. Will you marry me?

The question makes me freeze – my heart skips a beat and I'm left without reaction at first, with it coming out of sudden – and I can feel Gerard tensing up beside me due to it. What brings me back to reality is the pencil being held out towards me. He's probably not even looking at me, if I know him well, but it's not like I've got the guts to face him just yet.

As I stare at the page with my pencil in hand, I start reasoning everything and I notice that it's probably what he's been wanting to tell me the whole day. Maybe he was going to propose when we were in the woods, what justifies his frustration with the rain. My thoughts end up turning incoherent and just notice it when the of course is already written on the page in a shaky, nervous letter. I add a heart in the end before returning it to Gerard.

My eyes observe Gerard with certain excitement as he hesitantly looks at the sketchbook. His surprise is honestly confusing to me, but he eventually turns to me with glassy eyes and bright red cheeks, his eyes on the floor.

"Thank you for staying with me," he mutters almost inaudibly, shyly.

I don't move until I can't hold back anymore the happiness in my chest. I carefully set the sketchbook aside before tackling him in a hug.

"Oh, look at you! It's not something you need to be thankful for, I'm with you because I love you!" I say with a happy chuckle, wrapping my arms tightly around him and burying my face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed to let him see my reaction.

Honestly, I never thought anyone would – or could – like me that much and maybe I'm even worried if Gerard is sure about that. However, the happiness is overwhelming. He chuckles lightly and I can feel him rubbing my back, playing lightly with my hair before a kiss is pressed to my head.

[sinful-imagines]

firstly, im sorry but youre background,,, the giornohonk kinda scares me lol and secondly I **LOVE** YOUR WRITING ! especially the bucci gang ! so can get a bucci gangs reaction to their s/o getting attack and hurt by a enemy stand user ?? maybe idk if its ok but their stands reaction too ?

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COMMENT ON THE GIORNOHONK LMAO

I was gonna set it as the volare via gif but then I found that thing and was just like eh fuck it

Also 🥺💖 thank you so much!

Also also I absolutely love writing for Stands with their user’s partner so please please please send in more requests for it. There’s not enough of it and hhhhhhhhhh it’s so cute!!

Narancia

His first reaction is probably screaming or running over to you

If the user is nearby then you can guarantee he’ll beat the shit out of them

If the user fled the area then he’ll swear that he’ll get revenge soon

Once the adrenaline wears off he’ll pick you up and bring you to Giorno as quickly as he can

He’ll start to panic and cry a little, especially if the wound is bad

“You’ll be okay, you’ll be okay, you’ll be okay...”

As for Aerosmith? well it’s a plane so it won’t do much but it’ll fly around you until it’s sure you’re okay. It’s a manifestation of Narancia, so it makes sense that it’s worried about you too

Mista

His first reaction is yelling some sort of profanity and running up to you

He’ll take a quick look at the wound and determine from there wheather or not he has time to kill the Stand user or if he should just run you off to Giorno

If he has time to kill the user than he’ll make sure that it’s painful

He tries to maintain as much composure as possible. He’s very worried but tries not to let that show

But the pistols completely ruin that illusion

They’ll scream and cry and talk about how sad they are and Mista has a hard time getting them to shut up

They won’t fully stop until you’re completely healed

Bruno

His first reaction is mentally screaming but he tries his very hardest to maintain composure

He’ll quickly zip up the worst of your wounds so that they don’t worsen

With your wounds zipped up he’s less worried than the rest of the gang in his situation but he’s still cautious and will get you healed as quickly as he can

As for Sticky Fingers? Well, it’s pretty worried about you for a little while but it knows the situation is under control

Despite that it still doesn’t want to leave you and would prefer to follow Bruno around for a while or even hold you itself until it’s sure that you’re safe

Giorno

His first reaction is yellling your name and either rushing over to you or 7 page mudaing the stand user depending on how bad your injuries are

He’ll tend to your wounds as quickly as he can

Although it doesn’t look like it, for a brief moment he was terriefied that he lost you and it didn’t fully go away for the rest of the day

After healing you up, Gold Experience will usually just come back to Giorno and do whatever he needs it to next

Gold Experience is rational; it knows that you’re no longer hurt and therefore doesn’t need to worry

Abbacchio

Oh boy he’s angry at whoever hurt you

He’ll make sure they die a slow and painful death if they haven’t fled yet

If the wound is really bad he’ll start muttering the same thing over and over to himself as he picks you up

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! You’re not gonna die on me..”

For once he’s really glad that Giorno is on the team so he can heal you

But he’ll also be screaming at him to hurry up the entire time

Moody Blues will not leave you no matter what. It’s really affectionate with you and loves both you and your Stand so it will follow you around until you’re healed. It’ll also try to nuzzle into your neck or hold you, but Abbacchio shuts down it’s actions quickly

Fugo

He’s p i s s e d

But rather than making the user die painfully he’ll just do what is easiest and will give him the most time to help you

He’ll fall into a state of panic and minor depression until your wounds are gone

He just kinda..screams at Giorno to “fix them” and will shove you in his face

As for Purple Haze? Well, it’s just as worried about you as Fugo is and wants to help

But Fugo won’t let it anywhere near you and will scream at it if it manages to touch you in any way

[bigskydreaming]

The multiverse trip trope, with the canon Batfam ending up in a No Capes AU, where their counterparts, being equally hyper-competent but having no secret identities to hide or vigilantism as the primary focus for channeling their energies into....are equally ridiculous to all vigilante versions of the Batfam, but in vastly different ways.

With no need to hide his athletic abilities or to try and distance himself from immediate association with his past acrobatics, Dick focuses his time and efforts on gymnastics after Bruce takes him in. He’s an Olympic gold medalist before he’s twenty, hailed for practically reinventing the nature of high-bar routines thanks to his innovative ways of melding elements of his former acrobatics with his gymnastics regimens. 

Because of his many medals and natural charisma, he’s also a highly sought after brand face, asked to endorse or act as a spokesmodel for all kinds of things. He takes a particular savage joy in having his revenge on society as a whole, for the grief they gave him growing up, between the jokes about his circus background and ‘garish’ ensembles he patterns after his old costumes. Each year, he himself quietly seeks out talented designers who because of their backgrounds and the elitism of the high fashion world, are only able to advance so far in that industry. 

Acting as a silent investor for them with the funds from his endorsement deals, he charms his way through backroom deals and opens the necessary doors to get his designers into the high profile fashion shows that can make designers’ careers, allowing them the much needed opportunities to showcase their designs and get them out into the world and in front of potential buyers. 

But in addition to their own designs, Dick then commissions the designers he patrons, to design for him the most absurd things they can come up with. The kind of high fashion wtf’s that Ugly Betty’s wardrobe department could only dream of making, and then making into a punchline. Design for me an outfit you wouldn’t even inflict on your most hated enemy, Dick says to them.

And each year they do, and Dick models those looks personally. Then he sits back with his siblings and cackles with malevolent glee as the snobby ‘it crowds’ of his generation later turn out in droves to purchase his ‘signature looks.’ Strutting around town in imitation of the poise and charisma he pulls off effortlessly - but those, no amount of money can buy, and given they’re the only reason Dick Grayson alone can get away with wearing this stuff and still look as good as he does when doing so - well, the socialite circles inevitably end up looking utterly ridiculous. The harder they try and sell it with artificial confidence that Page Six and talk show hosts see right through, the more they get shredded to pieces with scathing jokes and headlines that put anything they ever managed to come up with to shame.

Meanwhile, the revenue from their frenzied purchases of these ‘must-have’ looks of the season? More than enough to launch the careers of Dick’s designers, right up to the A-List, where Dick leaves them to do what they want and make the most of it, with his eternal gratitude for humoring him and his rich kid eccentricities. (Not that his designers haven’t all since long figured out the joke and gotten vindication of their own out of it, as the designers and buyers who tried previously to shut them out because of their humble backgrounds, now all rush to try and rip off their more out there and high profile ‘Dick Grayson Looks’ with their own versions, over-saturating that particular market demographic just as people start catching on that these designs were always doomed to fizzle without Dick wearing them himself......leaving Dick’s designers with an open, uncluttered path right to the demographics they actually want to sell to, with the designs nobody’s attempted to imitate yet because they were too busy keeping eyes glued to Dick’s peacock ensembles).

Bruce has long since given up expecting he’ll ever understand his various children without them making an effort to translate first.....so the first time he walks in on Dick, Jason and Duke watching E! with a focus they’ve never displayed for sports, and with the coffee table covered in so many papers and flow charts and graphs, the den looks more like a War Room rather than just three of his boys watching Entertainment Tonight with frightening intensity. 

Bruce just waits in the doorway for them to notice him and arches one eyebrow when they do. Oh, there’s a point to all of this, he’s sure. But damned if he can figure out on his own just what the hell it might be.

His eldest just beams at him with his thousand watt smile.

“Love me or hate me, they all want to be me,” Dick sing-songs. Then he shrugs innocently, as though that explains it all.

It doesn’t, Bruce is fairly certain.

“Why?” He asks somewhat plaintively, after his struggle to select one of the many, many questions buzzing in his head glitches on that one syllable and refuses to budge until he at least voices that much.

“We’ve been over this, B. Its part of our Twenty Seven Step Plan to Destroy the Upper Class,” Jason says impatiently, still jotting notes in pen on one of the graphs, eyes still locked on the TV. “God, its like you never listen, I fucking swear.”

“That running joke you two had when you were in high school?” Bruce asks blankly, focusing on his two eldest. Duke is paying absolutely no attention to him any way, leaning over to cross something out on the same graph Jason’s working on, scrawling some kind of correction while Jason nods like that makes total sense in whatever bizarre arithmetic they’re all working off of.

Dick sighs in the fond manner of a parent whose child has just done something particularly endearing. “You gotta admit, its kinda cute he still thinks we’re joking when we talk about class warfare.”

“Eh,” Jason grunts noncommittally. “Benjamin Button he is not.”

“If you boys don’t mind, could you do me a favor and make sure to clarify when you’re making fun of me? I have trouble spotting the insults otherwise,” Bruce says dryly.

“But that’s what makes it fun!” Duke says, beaming with his own version of Dick’s thousand watt grin. Equal in intensity, but where Dick’s tends to burst into being all at once like a supernova, Duke’s tends to sneak up on you, slowly increasing the illumination until you realize you’re blinking spots out of your vision and it hits you that you haven’t been able to see anything but blinding luminescence for awhile now, and you don’t even know for sure how long.

“Well how about just this once, you boys take pity on me and cut your old man a break,” Bruce says, still in tones as parched as Saharan dunes. “Explain what I’m looking at here as though I’m five.”

“Christ, B, you’re not freaking geriatric,” Jason mutters. “You’re only in your forties, its way too soon for you to try and milk the senility angle.”

“We’re documenting record of public reactions to the latest fashion crimes of Gotham’s A-List,” Dick cuts off Jason, taking the aforementioned pity on his father as he provides an explanation that is in no way helpful.

Bruce squints at the screen. “But aren’t those the same outfits you wore during your Fashion Week thing last month?”

“Well yeah, but on me they look good,” Dick shrugs.

“Don’t gloat,” Jason says to his brother. “It’s tacky.”

“Facts are facts,” Dick says without a hint of apology. “Lying in the name of false modesty would be the true dishonesty.”

“Incredible. You even manage to put a pious-sounding spin on being an egotistical shit,” Jason marvels. “How do you do that?”

Dick shrugs again. “It’s a gift.”

Bruce clears his throat. “And what’s all this documentation for, anyway?”

“Dick’s book,” Duke says matter of factly. Bruce would be flattered by his children’s apparent belief he can intuitively leap from one esoteric comment straight to an epiphany like some kind of goddamn gazelle - if he weren’t still so lost.

“Dick has a book? Since when? I thought Jason was the writer in this family,” Bruce frowns. “And I’m quite certain there was a big to-do made when you were all much younger, where it was decided that each of you would focus yourself on distinct pursuits not overlapping with any other siblings’, so as not to kill each other in your inevitable quest to be number one.”

“Well first off, Dad, if you couldn’t handle a little competition between your children, you shouldn’t have adopted competitive children,” Dick lectures absently, still scribbling away at those damn pages.

“Its not like you all came labeled with future character traits,” Bruce says crankily. They ignore him.

“And secondly, upon discovering that the agreement we all signed was the end product of carefully dropped hints aimed at making us believe we all came to the table of our own volition, when in fact, they were merely the machinations of the mastermind known as our meddling father,” Jason intoned, finally looking up at Bruce to raise one eyebrow at him significantly, “the Treaty of Wayne Manor’s South Family Room circa 2012, was thus deemed by all signatories to be fruit of the poisonous tree, and subsequently rendered null and void.”

Bruce’s frown deepens. “How did you figure that out? And why are you suddenly talking like a Bond villain?”

“Well it was mostly more of a theory until just now,” Dick beams at him. Dammit. You’d think he’d know better than to walk right into things like that by now. “But Tim had a hunch pretty much from the start, except then we all ended up branching out towards different interests anyway so it didn’t seem to matter that much, and we figured why not let you keep thinking you got a win there, you know?”

“I have the most thoughtful children.” 

“We do try,” Jason hums.

“We try,” Duke snorts. “You add snarky commentary.”

“That was implied.”

Duke rolls his eyes and rolls right past that. “And Jason’s talking like that because he’s got that book tour coming up in a couple weeks, and he’s test driving new Eccentric Author Aesthetics.”

“Gotta give the people what they want,” Jason shrugs. “My fanbase expects the precociously grumpy darling of the New York literary circuit to be baffling and unpredictable, I give them baffling and unpredictable.”

“And here I thought you’d said you hated your fanbase. And rather then giving them anything, last I heard you were claiming to be withholding your sophomore manuscript just to spite them,” Bruce says. His voice is still lost and wandering in the desert, not a hint of precipitation to be found. “In fact, I distinctly recall wanting to take you out to celebrate the rave reviews of your debut novel, the week of its release. Only you were busy having a diatribe about how ridiculous the reviews were and how nobody had any business calling the barely coherent linguistic finger paintings of an emotionally stunted twenty-one year old the ‘next great American novel’ and it called the entire slate of reviews’ credibility into question as any brains capable of producing thoughts that erroneous should be required to display a count of their individual brain cells before anyone even considers viewing any thought produced by them as potentially being credible.”

“And you thought he never listens,” Duke snickers at his older brother. “Sounds like a direct quote to me.”

Jason just shrugs again, not remotely moved. “Yeah but I hate everything, so its not like that really means anything. Also, I’m full of shit. I thought everyone knew that.”

“He’s not subtle,” Dick informs Bruce.

“Subtlety’s for losers,” Jason defends himself. “Like tact.”

Bruce clears his throat again. “Back to the matter of Dick’s book?”

“Oh, right!” Dick chirps. “I have a book. Well, will have. This is research for it.”

“So you are taking up writing after all?” 

“Hah!” Jason barks out loudly. “Dick can’t write for shit. He can’t even write a thank you card, forget about a whole fucking novel.”

“Umm, I can write, I merely choose not to,” Dick sniffs pointedly. Then he rolls his eyes in disgust. “And Jesus Christ, chill, Prince Passive Aggressive. I can’t believe you’re still making such a big deal about that. Let it go already.”

He and Jason both shoot quick looks over at Duke about two seconds after Dick’s last sentence. Duke looks up just in time to catch their glances darting away again.

“Hang on, why did you both look at me, like you thought I was about to start singing that stupid song from Frozen?” Duke frowns at them suspiciously. “You guys do know that I’m not Stephanie, right?”

“Yeah but you have been hanging around her an awful lot lately, and she’s contagious,” Jason points out. Duke’s frown deepens for a moment, but then it wings out of sight and he shrugs, perfectly at ease again.

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

“Anyway, its Dick’s tell-all book on Gotham high society,” Jason continues on. “I’ll be the one actually writing it of course. He’s just the pretty face getting slapped on the cover, but I mean, that’s the only reason people are gonna wanna buy it, so I’ll probably just phone it in anyway.”

Bruce focuses on the only part of that reveal he can handle at the moment. “Jay, you’re not remotely capable of ever phoning something in.”

“How dare you accuse me of having a work ethic. Rude and disrespectful. My reputation isn’t built to withstand that kind of slander.”

“And feel free to mock all you want, but my pretty face on that cover is what’s going to earn me my first SCPF,” Dick announces loftily.

Duke looks up. Opens his mouth. Shakes his head. Closes it. Looks back down. Sighs. Looks back up again. 

“Not that I don’t know better than to ask, but what the hell is an SCPF?”

“My version of an EGOT that I just made up while Jay was being offended by a compliment to his work ethic. Spokesmodel, cover model, print model, fashion model. The four cornerstones of the modeling world, which I will then have conquered, leaving me free to move on to other endeavors.”

Jason studies his older brother gravely. Then he shakes his head.

“Even as a complete and utter joke, that combination of words disgusts me. You make me physically nauseous sometimes, you know.”

“Another gift of mine, I suppose. I have so many,” Dick muses, leaning back and examining something on the chart he was scribbling on, as if trying to take in another angle for some no doubt ridiculous reason. Why were his children like this. 

“Before this migraine finishes settling in and pitches its tent for the night, anyone care to tell me just what exactly this tell-all will be telling?” Bruce sighs. It was never too early to start damage control when this particular combination of his kids were conspiring together.

“Oh, everything,” Dick says breezily. “Who had affairs, who embezzled from their companies, who bribed or blackmailed or bought off this or that. All kinds of juicy sordid stuff, real page turner stuff, you know? You’d think important people would do a better job of keeping high stake secrets all hush hush instead of dropping them all willy nilly at various galas over the years, but c’est la vie.”

“Its almost like there are potential hazards to condescendingly assuming the uneducated circus brat someone adopted as an obvious PR stunt, like, just can’t understand a lick of what people say around him, what with his thick foreign accent obviously conveying he just don’t know English words so good nope, nope, nopers,” Dick concludes merrily, a familiar sparkle in his eye. One that usually heralded social cataclysms to come.

“And so you’ve taken it upon yourself to warn the public of those potential hazards. Good for you, son,” Bruce says sardonically. Despite his best efforts, the corners of his lips keep tugging stubbornly upwards.

“Just trying my best to give back to the community that’s given me so much,” Dick shrugs in the closest approximation to an ‘aw shucks’ vibe that Bruce has ever seen his son manage in as long as he’s known him. Jason reaches over and smacks the back of Dick’s head.

“Hey!” The elder brother snaps back, rubbing the back of his head with wounded dignity. He glares at his smirking brother.

“My bad. I thought you were against false modesty. Just trying to help keep you honest, bro.”

Dick narrows his eyes at him. “Touche,” is all he says.

“Last question before I give up and admit defeat,” Bruce interjects before that escalates. As tends to happen in moments like the previous. With no limit to how long or how far that escalation might last. By his count, his two eldest boys were somehow still engaged in four entirely different extended, longterm feuds they seemed somehow able to treat as separate and distinct from each other, with one of those stretching all the way back a good ten years, and still no end in sight as far as anyone knew. 

How did they determine what fights would end in minutes and which warranted stretching out over a course of years? Bruce really couldn’t say. How did they manage to stop and start the same argument off and on for all that time, without letting the last-addressed state of the argument affect how they interacted when their fight was back on ‘pause’? No idea. How did they seem able to treat each different matter they fought about as its own distinct entity that had no bearing on anything outside that particular argument, with no overlap or cross-pollination as far as anyone else had ever been witness to, and why did they even bother doing so in the first place? God, Bruce dearly wishes he knew.

Unfortunately, for all that his entire horde of children often at times seem to exist on a wholly separate and private plane unreachable by the rest of humanity, Bruce’s first two children to fill the halls of Wayne Manor with laughs, screeches and occasional declarations of war and an intent to maim, dismember and murder - 

Well. They at times seemed to possess a language and extra senses unique just to them, and baffling to the entire rest of the world and their own siblings as well.

Oh well. At least Bruce could take some small comfort in Duke’s occasional glance of wary confusion, thrown towards one or both of his brothers when they weren’t looking.

“Yo, this is Planet Earth, hailing one eternally out of touch bachelor billionaire way up in the atmosphere,” Jason sharply cuts into Bruce’s distraction with a snap of his fingers. “Are you trying to milk the senility thing again? We’ve been over this. You need at least another decade of mileage before we’ll validate your senior citizen card.”

“Right.” Bruce rolls his eyes at his son, but shakes his head to clear it nevertheless. Ah, yes. “Yes. Indulge me, please. What exactly does what you’re watching have to do with Dick’s....tell-all, and how does whatever all of this is count as research?”

“Oh, we’re just keeping record of public shaming of every snobby rich jackass to buy one of the fashion monstrosities Dick wears at Fashion Week, only to then look utterly ridiculous and absurd when they try and wear it in public and everyone points and laughs,” Duke chimes in.

“I see,” Bruce says, his lips twitching again. “And this of course all ties back into class warfare and...what was it again...oh yes, the Twenty Seven Step Plan To Destroy The Upper Class?”

“That’s right,” Duke nods.

“I even know what the title is going to be already,” Dick smiles with bared teeth. “I’m going with: ‘Weapons of Choice.’“

“Of course, as I keep explaining to him, nobody gets final say on the title of their book, and there’s every chance the publisher will end up changing the title to something they pick,” Jason says with a pointed look at his brother. 

Dick’s willful obliviousness visibly deflects Jay’s arched gaze long before any point can hit and make an impact. “And as I keep explaining to him, if they try and change the title, I will simply explain to them that they are incorrect and it already has the perfect title and one can not improve upon perfection.”

Jason strangles a gutteral, incoherent growl before it can fully escape from his throat. “I want to throttle you.”

“I know,” Dick says sunnily.

“Well, as long as you’ve thought this through, which you clearly have, I have no doubt you’ll get the results you’re after,” Bruce says. Doubtfully. Though of what, he’s not entirely sure. His sanity, thinking that yes, half a dozen precocious, willful and utterly incomprehensible children, that’s the ticket, exactly what my life needs. Yes, that was probably the matter actually in doubt.

“Ugh, B, you’re not getting it,” Dick complains. He exchanges frustrated glances with his brothers. “He’s not getting it.”

“It’s not rocket science,” Jason says patiently. “Basic rule of street fighting....the most effective takedowns come from aiming at someone’s weakest point. Whenever possible, go for the throat. What’s the equivalent of the throat as far as Gotham’s upper class is considered? Public image.”

“Destroy their public image, destroy them,” Dick finishes cheerfully. “They crack, get egg on their face like the nursery rhyme says, and bam, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall and all the queen’s knights working as a team still can’t put them together again and while they’re distracted the pawns can slip past them and become queens!”

Jason stares at him. “I know what you’re doing and its not going to work.”

“What am I doing?”

“Deliberately mangling the fuck out of a bunch of different well known sayings that you know perfectly well how they really go, while doing that thing where you act like you’re the most airheaded ditz to ever live and have a brain that runs off of helium instead of oxygen like the rest of us. Because you know damn well how obnoxious that is to anyone who knows exactly how intelligent you really are and that you actually have a mind like a steel trap that remembers fucking everything, no matter how inane, which is fucking rude, because that’s wasted on you and also, stop it. I told you. Its not going to work.” 

“Oh Jay.” Dick tilts his head to the side and grins wider. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Uh huh,” Jason says, unconvinced. “Then what, pray tell, are you doing?”

“That thing where I trick you into believing I’m doing the more obvious seeming thing and then annoy you with my fake airhead routine until you end up flattering me and paying me compliments when pointing out why my airhead routine could never work on you and is thus just annoying,” Dick says brightly.

Jason’s eyebrows inch incrementally together with the slow, ominous scrape of stone grinding across stone. Dick is entirely undeterred, and simply shrugs again with a painfully fake display of innocence.

“Its dinner time and my ego needed feeding. Thanks for that bee tee dubs, it was getting hungry. Nom nom.”

“Yeah,” Jason says casually, after a good ten second pause. He nods decisively. “Okay, I’m going to murder you now.”

He lunges for his brother, but Dick’s resting pose is the equivalent of anyone else impatiently waiting at the starting block of a race. He’s up and on his feet, gracefully dancing out of range of his younger but bigger brother’s wider reach, and has darted halfway towards the other exit to the room by the time Jason finishes scrambling to his feet. Not that any of that delays the younger man from taking off in a dead sprint in pursuit of his laughing sprite of a brother the second he does. 

Bruce stares after them for a moment and then shifts his gaze down to Duke, who’s still seated contentedly on the floor, blithely unaffected by Dick and Jason’s mad dash out the room as he continues scribbling down notes.

“I will pay you all the money I have, not to grow up to be like them,” Bruce says in the gravest possible tone he can manage. “You don’t even have to wait til I’m dead.”

Duke sighs and shakes his head. “B, c’mon, man. I’m clearly on Team Class Warfare. I’m insulted you think I can be bought.”

Bruce frowns. “You all are way, way too fond of this trolling thing you do.”

“Mmm. Agree to disagree.”

[edgythought]

Strangers in the Bar III

Part I  |  Part II

Alex Turner x OC (I guess??)

Description: Two lonely people observe each other in a bar. It leads to something nice.  Word count: 3,297

Warning: swearing, alcohol consumption, smoking, non-explicit mentions of sex, physical harassment.

A/N: I hope you enjoy the last bit for this. Please, let me know what you think about it. Thank you for reading, it means the world to me!

The sky was deep blue as I walked out of the bar and looked around for a spot to inhale some nicotine. I was kinda worried and a little embarrassed of rushing away from the Dancing Dude. Sweetie, you have to accept you are stupid, I told myself while I lit my cigarette and took a long drag, exhaling thick smoke into the breezy air. It was difficult to process what happened inside a couple of minutes ago, but I tried my best taking drag after drag. It's weird though, his disappearance. I did not expect that. But I shall be silent, because it's also me who ran away from a cocktail and a proper introduction.

Few stars were already present, shining discreetly on the velvet background of the spring LA sky. I enjoyed the view immensely, I was always fascinated by space and everything about it. Being so complicated and far, I always found space interesting enough to spend much of my free time researching information and staring at the sky. Nothing particularly changed since middle school.

Suddenly my stream of consciousness was interrupted by a familiar voice and my heart skipped a beat. The Dancing Dude was walking towards me across the road, sly smile oh his lips. "Waiting for me, eh?" - he asked, when he reached me. "I was just staring at the sky and smoking, don't take too much on yourself" - I said, taking out another cigarette out of the pack and searching for a lighter in a small bag of mine. He couldn't manage to watch me struggling to find a lighter and offered his, that I had to accept, because the bag was both ridiculously small and really big to fit a handful of stuff inside. I smiled to myself a little and looked at him. He was busy lighting his own cig and running his fingers through his half-wet, half-gelled hair. He looked so mysterious to me, everything I wanted in that moment was to get into his head. And he smelled great. -We seemed to have quite a nice time there, why did you rush away? - he was looking me straight in the eyes, his hand on his waist, a cloud of smoke twisting behind his left ear. -Oh… Sorry about that, I felt a little dizzy. Didn't want to ruin your bomb look with my puke. - I did not expect him bringing it up and I had to come up with a simple lie to cover up my growing anxiety. He took another drag from his cigarette, exhaling smoke to his left so it won't get into my face. -How are you feeling now? Is everything okay? - he touched my shoulder to get my full attention. - Yeah, don't worry, I am totally fine - I shrugged and took my last drag. He seemed a little bit spaced out, standing in front of me smoking. I found him smoking pretty sexy combined with his hair and overall rockstar vibe. He finished his cigarette and turned to me - Wanna get outta 'ere? - Sure. Any ideas? -Not really, but I think it'd be nice to get some fresh air, eh?

The night was still young when we paid the bill and got out of the bar. He grabbed my hand and routed to the sound of waves crashing at the beach. His palm was warm and dry, while mine was cold and it was an immense pleasure for me to warm myself up a little. I was watching him slightly while we were walking in silence. His most distinctive feature was his nose: big and straight, the tip teeny tiny bit crooked down. His big warm eyes didn't suit his demeanor at all, but I suppose, he's a lot more than he wants people to see.

Suddenly I realized I didn't even know his name. We never got to introduce ourselves. Dumbasses, nothing more to say. I sighed a little and grabbed his hand a little tighter to catch his attention. -Hey, what's your name? - I asked him, pulling his hand a little more to make him turn to me. He stopped and for a second I thought he was surprised? Am I supposed to know who he was? Oh my god… -You can call me Alexander, Al for short. Alexander is my official name and you know, my mom used to call me like that while whooping my ass. - he smiled softly, - And what is your name, love? Instead of just telling him my name I decided to show off a little bit. I let go of his hand and fished one of my business cards out of my purse. Before giving it to him I made sure it wasn't anything else, since my purse (of any size) is always a dump. -I'm impressed! - he chuckled as he examined the card carefully. - Well, that will do for now, miss, but I am interested to know more. - he pushed me to the side playfully with his hip and I smiled at him. -Anything for you, Mr Alexander. -Anything? How about some stargazing on the beach then? A little bit of oversharing probably? - he let out a small chuckle.

He surprised me once again and I realized we were right across the road from the beach. I didn't pay attention to the route we took because I spaced out watching Al. Wow, girl, you need to concentrate. Alcohol is not helping though, it always makes me dizzy and starry-eyed when it comes down to a charismatic stranger. The breeze was pleasantly cool, so I let my hair down out of the light knot I rocked in a crowded pub. It was a blessing and Alex graciously admired me tossing hair to give it a little bit of shape. -Stop teasing me, baby, you look gorgeous. - he told me, placing his hand on the middle part of my back. I shivered to his touch, still not used to it. -That was not my intention, but glad you like it. - I smiled slightly, reaching to touch his own hair. It was not as slick as it was when we met, but those little strands framed his face so beautifully I couldn't take my eyes off him. He winked at me and turned to watch the waves hit the shore. The sound was ASMRish and I felt a lot less tense. I almost lost myself to the breeze and calm noise the water made, Al's hand still on my back. I closed my eyes. It felt so right, there's no other place I'd rather be today. -Whatcha thinking about, babe? - Al asked, as we were sitting on the pavement and watching the sky and the ocean collide in the dark. -Nothing in particular, really. The vibe is quite melancholic, I should say. Maybe the whole LA thing has something to do with it. -Elaborate. -Well, I feel a lot more lonely here than anywhere else. Like I am heartbroken for whatever reason and, like in a movie, I am watching myself almost from the side, as if I am not quite myself anymore. Does it make any sense? -It does, yeah. LA is a cruel place, you see, love. It's not easy here, probably, anywhere is easier than here. This feeling of loneliness and distortion never left me since I moved here a couple of years ago. -Oh, from where? -Small town on the other side of the planet. Doesn't matter, really, I am living here now. -It hasn't grown on you yet, as I can see. -Not really, yeah, but you get used to it eventually. I wrote some great songs here, though… -You're a songwriter? -Yeah, a musician, a singer, something like that. Does it matter? -Yeah! I don't know, I wouldn't be happy to go stargazing with a drug dealer - I chuckled and hit him lightly on the shoulder. -There are a lot of drug dealers here, love, you can't even imagine… - he smiled at me and placed his hand on mine. His presence in such proximity was both overwhelming and disturbing. I didn't know what to think and tried to relax again, but failed miserably, listening to my own heartbeat go crazy and feeling my intestines twirl unpleasantly.

It took us a while to stop stargazing, but as the time flew fast we agreed on having something to eat. Dancing was rad and we were tired, so a bit of fuel wouldn't hurt. We got up and Al took my hand in his as we walked down the cobbled path to the road to call a taxi. - I know a nice place not far from my house. They serve delicious tacos there. You like tacos? - he asked me. -Oh, I've never tried them, although I really enjoy a nice home made guacamole. - I laughed a bit. - Pardon me, how long have you been here for? - Two weeks, I guess? - And you never managed to get yourself some tacos? Oh my, you're a disaster! - he threw his other hand in the air in a dramatic gesture. I laughed, he was pretty cute doing all the theatrical stuff both on the dance floor and now. Still, although his gestures felt natural and genuine, I couldn't stop worrying for no apparent reason.

Al's Uber appeared soon enough to interrupt his subtle efforts to kiss me and I was glad he did not succeed. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly was wrong, but it was. I enjoyed Alexander's company though. He was not the nicest man out there, but he was hilarious in his own way and I happened to appreciate that. Our taxi ride was mostly silent, as I was staring out of the window all the time, not paying much attention to a man sitting beside me or his hand sliding up and down my thigh quite erotically. This whole LA aesthetics with neon signs, blue and orange street lights and wide streets somehow crippled to the back of my mind. I wasn't sure if I ever could forget this city, a real living organism, merciless and unforgiving. I felt small and weak in that car, in Los Angeles. I was out of the place, spacing out each time I had an opportunity to. Quite an unpleasant situation, to be honest. Alexander did not make it any better. He was all right, but I was on the verge of a panic attack near him, which was totally surprising, since dancing with him was an amazing experience. Perhaps, it is not always a good idea to get to know a person you've danced in a bar with. He can turn out to be something completely different from what you've expected. I was fascinated by everything in that particular moment during the drive, alcohol in my blood made me feel like yet again I was in a movie about my life instead of reality and I gave up to this feeling. I turned to watch Al. He looked alien to those surroundings, like he was inserted by someone in Photoshop. Still, he was very handsome and I took my time to admire him in the neon light passing by quite often. He side-eyed me and smiled softly when he realized he was being watched. -Is there summat on me face, love? - he asked me, smiling and stroking my hair. -No, I was just admiring your beauty, mystery man. I will continue, if you don't mind. -Whatever pleases you, baby girl - he responded and turned to the window on my right, so I could see his face a little better. I smiled at myself, my heart was racing uncontrollably and it was way too hot in the car. Again, his proximity was too much to handle, being both exciting and worrying.

Finally, we arrived to the destination point, the taqueria Al liked so much. It was a nice neighbourhood, as I managed to notice during the ride, and several men were standing outside the 24/7 coffee shop next to the taqueria, laughing loudly. It took me a while to get out of the car, because my door was blocked and I had to wait until Al comes out to follow him. He graciously helped me out and I couldn't help but admit he was a gentleman. We decided to have a smoke before food, Al started talking about his musical aspirations. I didn't listen to him attentively, because I was watching him talk. He had a very expressive face and I loved that about him, really. Still, I didn't trust him at all, he was way too much to be sincere. We finished our cigarettes and headed to the cafe, as one of the guys coming out there in front of us, stopped in his tracks and went "Wooo, girl, you are one sexy lady! Dump this skinny ass of a dude and come with me". I looked him dead in the eye and told him to go fuck himself. He proceeded to give me a mean smile, while he was moving towards me out of the cafe. Alexander stood behind me, his hand in my waist, but he had to let go as I started going inside. Then, the dude slapped me on the ass, real hard. At the sound of a slap Al turned and grabbed him by the collar. I didn't see his face, but his back was tense enough to understand what's going on. -Oh, fuck off, you piece of shit! - I cried in anger, turning to slap the bitch, but he was too far from me to reach. - Al, let him go. - He still looked enraged when the dude was strolling down the street, turning at us several times and giving us the finger. Al did the same and we finally got inside. -Wanker. -What? - I laughed. - Don't be angry, man, let's eat our troubles away. -Fine, but what the fuck just happened… - he brushed his hair with his fingers. - What shall we eat? - he asked, looking at me with a mixed expression. -Whatever, you choose. You see, I haven't tried tacos, I have no opinion on the topic… - I smirked at him and went to a small table by the wall to sit down. Al went to the counter and asked the guy for beef tacos, salsa, guacamole with chips and some french fries. He looked at me questioningly and I just nodded in approval. In 10 minutes our food was ready and I was excited to eat because I suddenly felt exhausted. -Try it. -As your Highness commands. - I said and bit the taco Al offered me. - Mm, delicious! -Told you, they are amazing. You shouldn't be such a prude, by the way. I bet, these tacos are the best thing that happened to you today - he smirked and put the whole taco in his mouth. -Ew, gross. Haven't your mother taught you some manners, Alexander? - I teased him as he was chewing. -Fuck right off, okay? -Suck a bag of giant black cocks - I responded with a shit-eating grin. -Sounds like a tongue-twister  - Al looked at me and smiled. -I was always good with them at school, you know. I speak 3 languages. My tongue does miracles. -Oh really? Care to demonstrate? I smiled mysteriously at Al. I had no intention to show my skills right off, if you know what I mean. Not that I was comfortable with him to go past second base today, but teasing is not illegal. Plus, I enjoyed flirting with him. We finished our food and realized we didn't order any beverages to sustain the water balance, so Al went to the counter once again and bought us two cans of soda. It was refreshing enough to pull me out of the chair. -So, what shall we do next? -My place, maybe? I can play you some of my songs. -Sounds nice, but I don't think it's appropriate. - I told him as we were leaving the taqueria and walking down the street. -I insist. - I looked at him and our eyes met. He looked intimidating, in a semi-sexy way. I was confused, my mind paced from one stupid decision to another. - There's no limit to the length of the dickheads we can be. - he stated as he walked past me. -Is it far? -No, come 'ere. - He took my hand in his and looked at me. His other hand was at the back of my neck as he reached out to me and kissed without warning. He tasted like soda and cigarettes and smelled so good I lost myself a bit. Wowza woo. Oh, how the tables have turned. Al grabbed my hair and pulled a bit to break the kiss. I blinked a couple of times to gather myself. -Shall we go a bit faster?

It really wasn't far from the taqueria, so in around 10 minutes Al was already opening the front door of his house for me. The walk happened to be not interesting, since we were waggling our tongues in each other's mouths most of the time. I liked it, but it still didn't feel safe at all. That probably was the main trigger for my absolute failure in keeping my arousal to myself. You go, girl! Keep it up! Anyway, I was inside his house already, I suppose I have to finish what I'd started, right? -You okay, darling? - he asked, touching my shoulder softly. -Yeah, sure… You promised to play me some of your songs earlier, where shall we do that? - I ruffled my hair nervously as I replied and looked at him. He noticed I wasn't quite fine, but didn't say a word about it. Weird? -Oh, change of plans.- he took both my hands in his and pulled me closer. - I think we should have some fun first. - he added and went full on me, kissing hard and grabbing my ass painfully. I squeaked a little, but he didn't pay attention to it at all. He kept pulling me closer and closer, as he kept pushing us towards something behind my back, which I couldn't see. I wasn't afraid, I was curious how everything will turn out. I was nervous. He was all over me, I couldn't escape his embrace, even if I was physically able to. He held me tight, biting my neck, tracing wet lines between my ears, lips and collarbones. And then I lost it.

He was too much and not enough. Mysterious, unexpected… Dangerous. His teasing was a heavenly torture. I forgot myself. He was cruel, angry, violent even. My senses were overloaded by him doing what he had in that twisted mind of his. Nasty shit, kinky, gross and overly expressive, explosive. He moved like a predator, he watched me die in his arms time after time, he never let me breathe deep enough to form a coherent thought. I grasped for air, panted, cried and screamed with him. Dirty. Ugly. Cosmic. Pure. I slowly opened my eyes. The sun was way too bright for my liking, shining through a huge wall window. The sky was pinkish orange, with a slight silhouette of the moon still visible, marking it was early morning outside. It was inexplicably hard to gather the thoughts. Was it even necessary at this point? I guess not. I blinked several times to brush away the sleepiness. Suddenly, a soft voice somewhere behind me asked: -Is it everything you've come to expect, baby girl?

[chaoslordjoe]

RWBY - Do I ship it?

My friend @lewdnepvasilias666​ has recently been receiving Asks about some various RWBY ships. Given my small follower base, and since I’ve got some time to kill before going AFK for Father’s Day I just thought: “Eh. Seems fun.”

No time to waste, so let’s get into a few random ships here, shall we?

Renora

OTP

I SHIP IT

hELL YES

I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY

As if there was any doubt! Just to start us off, I feel that there really isn’t much else that can be emphasized about Renora and how it’s one of the few things the FNDM can collectively agree on.

While I understand that the whole “best-friends-to-lovers” trope is cliche -- believe me, I’m not a fan of it either -- I feel that Renora is able to handle it in the least corny way possible with a realistic backstory: Grew up in a village, village was doomed, they ran out and survived and have been together ever since.

Yeah, it’s a clear setup for romance between the two, or at the very least a type of love that’s not necessarily romantic. Not just that, but the deepest friendship imaginable. I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of how they made Renora super angsty in V7, but I feel much more content ever since I dropped the show with how much more fan content there is to explore of these two that RT couldn’t.

Boop, motherfuckers!

BlackSun

the sexiest pair

underrated

we need more of it

reads fics about it

Like morning follows night, eh?

Pretty much every praise that can be said about BlackSun is said before I could say anything about it. I’m not actually gonna shit-talk Bumbleby much as I have a few select words on how that ship has, uh...Basically it’s to avoid the bleeding obvious and just talk about positive stuff here.

Sun Wukong is one of my favorite RWBY characters. And the relationship he had with Blake, even though it remained a friendship in canon really resonated with me as someone who has been through a similar plight with abusive relationships like Blake.

Weiss is my top favorite, don’t get me wrong, but seeing Sun keep up a positive face for Blake and his other friends just really brings me some joy with the goodest of bois.

Also their cuteness. Hee~!

Cool Jazz

we need more of it

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

why not

the sexiest pair

Hey, I like Iceberg. But this is another Weiss ship that’s grown on me faster than how quickly the rate at which players rushed to find the megalodon shark in Battlefield 4.

I’ll admit that Cool Jazz was kinda “eh” to me at first since I didn’t have a set Weiss ship when I first discovered it. Yeah, Iceberg was on the table but I was on the fence with it at the time simply due to since I was one of *those* dipshits who honest-to-god thought that Neptune was a fuckboi (sorry Lewdy, but I like him now homegirl) since I honest-to-Christ didn’t know any better.

Ever since I discovered more art of it, and was surprised to hear how many people shipped it along with my friends who liked Iceberg, I realized with horror that I was into Cool Jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I love the dynamic of it with Weiss dating a commoner (JacquesXEternal suffering forever) just to shy further away from her stigma as a noble. And looking back in Volume 3, I think that more interactions with her and Flynt were in order in V7.

Some good stuff there.

Ironwitch

would read a fic about it

Soulmates

we need more of it

I’m not necessarily crazy about Ironwitch as I am more chill about the idea of it.

There are similar ships with the whole serious character/serious character vibe. Monochrome, for instance. Which is fine, given how many serious character/funny character ships there are. White Rose, BlackSun, Renora, just to name a few. But enough babbling, what do I like about this one?

Well, much as I’m not one to cry out for diversity in many cases, this is one ship where I’m attracted to the respective backgrounds of James and Glynda. I don’t mind them being portrayed as just business partners, but this is another one that quickly grew on me.

Ironwood is a military man whose knowledge lies in warfare and maintaining relations between the public and the armed forces. As a civilian who never served, a lot of military guys I’ve met are the ones you should be asking with just how stressful it is serving in such a position for a senior officer with such a massive reputation.

Glynda, meanwhile, is also a disciplinarian who is basically teaching kids to be like child soldiers in the fight against Grimm. Both have the same jobs, yes, but I really think that whatever past backstories they had would have revealed just how deep their partnership went before the whole shadow war escalated.

Tell you the truth, I’m picturing Ironwitch as a ship with a lot of backstory potential given how close the two are. And minor thing, but, I like the idea of Glynda being playful with James when they’re out of sight. It’s just a really cute image which I can’t help but find amusement out of.

Gemstone

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

why not

would read a fic about it

Yeah, this one right here is kind of a cop out with it being a “foe yay” ship. Doubly so with this being a F/F ship which I know is a point of contention in the FNDM these days. But it’s my list. So let’s talk about it.

Emerald Sustrai is a bit of an oddity in the FNDM. On one hand, there are fans who find her to be sympathetic with how clingy she is with Cinder when Cinder is basically using her as a puppet in her bidding.

I don’t necessarily “hate” Emberald since that’s not the kind of abuse I’m familiar with. But I definietly see why people would hate it and have no patience, knowing how contentious Cinder happens to be.

On the other, there are fans who think that Emerald is just there and wouldn’t be caught dead reading anything about her. Certainly, she’s been part of a lot of interesting ships lately.

Among one of these is Gemstone. AKA Emerald/Ruby. Hear me out for a second, peeps.

I like Gemstone not because I’m big on villain redemption stuff in RWBY fanworks. But because I like the idea of it being seen where Emerald is actually in a happy, healthy relationship with someone who supports her unlike Cinder. Seeing a cinnamon roll like Ruby be a part of that just really made me think about my history with abuse.

Thing is, I’ve been in relationships like that which involve manipulative behavior and promises of this-or-that. While Emerald isn’t one of my S-tier RWBY characters, I still think that she has room for a lot of development as someone who’s not portrayed in an evil light.

There’s also Topaz (Emerald/Jaune) if I can’t find any Gemstone works. Sure, there are other ships like Emercury (which I’m also warming up to a little). But I think that Gemstone is filling that void for now until I can look more into Emercury for the time being.

I also like the red/green color schemes. Just really pleasing to the eyes. Next!

Silent Knight

hELL YES

the sexiest pair

would read a fic about it

I SHIP IT

Another “foe yay” ship that I’ve developed a soft spot for. Let’s face it, this probably wouldn’t be a shipping list without including at least one Jaune ship, wouldn’t it?

The reason I ship Jaune with Neo is because I like the inversion of the “good-girl-meets-bad-boy” trope. Instead, we get a good boy meeting a bad girl who I think really helps bring out the wild side in Jaune.

Not at the level of committing crimes like Neo does, but in a more lax AU or shipping fan work, I’m really enamored with the idea of her letting Jaune not worry about being such a “good boi” or “bean” all the time because, I like Jaune, but that’s not all he has to be in fanon.

Perhaps what I’m trying to say is that Neo would be the right amount of crazy for Jaune to handle given how many ships he’s in with a couple of women and girls on the show who are associated with being a little nutty.

I just like Silent Knight. Simple.

And that is about it. I thought this would be a decent post to put out given my current bout of writer’s block, and I hope whoever comes across this list that you enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed writing about it.

Want me to make another? Lemme know, and I’ll see what I can do.

@laserdog10​ @lewdnepvasilias666​ @darksaiyangoku​ @becauseihaveyou​ @bssaz97​ @ezroar​ @the-blue-quetzalcoatl​ @rozanime​ @nix-nihil​ @kali-tmblr​

[ask-marcus-cally-and-ari]

Only Human

Chapter 8: Licking Their Wounds 

"What do you think happened to them?" 

“I don’t know. Are they dead?” 

“I don’t know. Check the boy’s pulse.” 

The first thing Marcus felt upon regaining consciousness was a cold hand on his neck, and given the events of the previous day, one could hardly blame him for freaking out. And opening his eyes to see someone in an oddly dressed face mask and a Sniper outfit? That just worsened his mood. He drove a foot into the man’s gut, rolled away, and drew his gun, pointing it at the man, who also had a very large companion wearing a pot. 

“My friends and I had a very bad day yesterday. If you don’t want me to take it out on you, you’ll tell me who you are, what you’re doing here, and why you were touching me,” he hissed, glaring. 

“Gah-!” The masked figure grunted, falling on his back. “F_cking OW! I was just checking your pulse, kid!” 

“Like hell you were!” came the reply. “You with them? You here to kill us, too?!” 

“What? No! We just stumbled across you a few minutes ago!” The man with a pot on his head exclaimed. 

Marcus looked at him. “Who are you two?” 

“I’m Spyper,” The masked man grunted, stumbling to his feet. “This is my friend, Intelligent Heavy.” 

“Let me guess. Freaks?” Marcus asked, keeping the gun trained on Spyper. 

“Yeah, we’re Freaks. Why?” 

Marcus took a step to the side, shielding Cally and Ari’s sleeping forms. “Wanna guess why we had a bad day yesterday?” 

“I can guess. Run in with hostile Freaks?” 

“Yeah. Tried to kill us and gassed a room full of choir girls. And apparently all this is over something that someone wrote or said would happen in the future.” 

Spyper and Intelligent Heavy glanced at each other, then back at the trio. 

“Ok, that just sounds bad. But look, we’re not here to hurt you,” Spyper said, raising his hands. 

Marcus opened his mouth to respond, but a quiet groan interrupted him. “Marcus? Who are you talking to? Where are we?” 

Marcus tensed. “Don’t worry about it, Ar.” 

Spyper frowned and leaned to look past Marcus to Cally and Ari, and then winced. “Your friend doesn’t look too good,” He grimaced, pointing out the wound on Callys head. 

“We fell off that,” Marcus replied, indicating the ledge. 

“I have bandages in my van,” Spyper said carefully. “I’m just going to get them. You stay here.” 

Marcus moved to shield Cally, then nodded, equally cautious. 

Ari, not cautious at all, approached Intelligent Heavy. “Hi! I’m Ari! What’s your name?” 

“I’m Intelligent Heavy,” The big Freak replied. 

“Nice to meet you!” Ari smiled and stuck their hand out. 

“Sounds like you three had a rough day yesterday,” Intelligent said, shaking his hand. 

“Oh, yeah. I got really bad superpowers that let me feel other people’s emotions, and the first time it was used, that Australian guy and his French buddy were putting gas in a room of choir girls to turn them into Freaks,” Ari whined, her eyes shimmering blue. “It hurt so much.” 

“That sounds awful - Wait, an Australian and a French man?”

“Yeah. The Australian guy tricked me into telling him where we were, and then he tried to kill us. And the weird thing is, apparently Marcus killed him earlier! Tricked him into lowering his guard and shot him twice.” 

Marcus nodded, grumbling. “And I’d do it again.” 

Intelligent turned pale, looking over the Trio with a sort of sickly concern. “Oh no...You three were attacked by Christian Brutal Sniper and Gentlespy, two of the most infamous Freaks around.” 

Ari hesitated. “Wait, he’s a Christian? But Cally is a Christian, and she’s a good person! She’d never try to kill one of us!” 

Marcus swore under his breath. “Most infamous Freaks, huh? I guess we really do have to be important if they came after us.” 

Intelligent rubbed his neck. “I don’t know why Brutal calls himself Christian. None of us do, actually. We think he just picked the name at random. Either that or he did it to mock one of our friends, Christian Pure Spy.” 

“Sounds like that kinda @sshole,” Marcus bit out. “So do you know anything about the turning people into Freaks deal?” 

“A little. We know Brutal’s been out with Freaks like Doc Jarate to create something that could do that, but we didn’t realize that he’d already started the process.” 

“Any idea why?” Marcus asked. “And how the three of us are supposed to make that not happen?” 

“I’m not entirely sure why. All Brutal ever said was that it was for payback or something.” 

“Payback? Did someone else, like, torture him to make him a Freak? I’d gladly help him find that guy if that was the case,” Marcus said, leaning back. “No need to take out three teenagers.” 

“Well...I mean his team left him to die in a fire before he became a Freak, but he never really showed any interest in getting revenge against them. I think he wants payback against all of humanity for… something.” 

Ari whimpered. “Aw. Whatever happened to him, it must have been real bad for him to hate the world over it.” 

“Team?” Marcus asked. “He play sports?” 

“No, he was a mercenary before becoming a Freak. His team was made up of other mercenaries.” 

“Mercenary? Like Deadpool?” Ari asked. 

“What? No, a contract killer.” 

A third voice joined the conversation. “Oh, great. A hitman. I- Augh, my head is killing me.” 

“Cally’s awake!” Ari exclaimed. He ran over and knelt down beside Cally. “You ok?” 

“We ran in a magic hamster ball off a cliff. I don’t think I’m- OH MY GOSH WHO ARE YOU?!” Cally jumped upon seeing Intelligent. 

“Don’t freak out! I’m not here to hurt you!” 

Ari giggled. “Heh, freak out.” 

“My friend Spyper went to get bandages for you. Just take it easy,” Intelligent said. 

“Spyper…” Cally thought. “Another Freak. You’re another one?” 

“I am, but we’re not here to cause trouble.” 

“That’s good. We could use a breather.” Cally sat up, hissing in pain, then put her hand to her forehead. The moment she felt the sticky, wet gash on her face, she gagged. “WHEN?!” 

Marcus shrugged. “Hell if I know.” 

Ari waved at Spyper as he came back. “Hi! I’m Ari!” 

“Hey, I’m Spyper,” he waved. He crouched down next to Cally and unpacked the medkit he had. “Now just hold still, this may sting a little.” 

***

Meanwhile, at the hotel, Gentlespy was on the phone, looking very uneasy. “Uh, yes, they got away, sir.” 

“How? You are a trained assassin, how did three teenagers with no grasp on their powers get away from you?” A demonic voice hissed on the other end of the line. 

Gentle hesitated. “Would you believe me if I said the boy formed a magic hamster ball around him and his friends?” 

“...You cannot be serious.” 

“I know that sounds crazy, but that’s what happened. And given his reaction, I believe his powers did that on their own.” Gentle sighed. “I’m as confused as you are. Brutal is just angry.” 

There was a moment of silence, and painful screams echoed somewhere in the background on the other end for several minutes before the archdemon was finally back on the line.

“Did you at least convert the choir?” 

“That we did. Brutal says he can tell it hurt by both the screams and how the Heart reacted. They’re probably going to wake up in a few minutes.” 

“Find the three. Get the choir acquainted with their situation, and then find the three. Get help if you have to.” 

“Understood.” 

The person hung up, leaving Gentle to get up and head to see how the choir girls were doing. 

Passing the lobby, the Freak allowed his mouth to twitch into an amused smile upon seeing the receptionist with his eyes gouged out, a smile carved into his face, and his heart cut out, chains and hooks coming out of the hole. “Brutal clearly didn’t take losing well, did he? Eh, you’ll wake up soon anyway.” 

Coming to the room the choir girls had been locked in, Gentle was greeted with a rather disturbing sight. Each of the girls were still unconscious, and their bodies were twisted and mangled into insectoid-like forms. Gentle came up to one of the girls and dragged her to her feet before attempting to shake her awake. 

“Wake up, you have work to do,” He ordered sharply. 

The girl opened her eyes, which now looked like insect eyes. Panicked, she moved so she was crouched and a fair distance away from him. “Who are you? Where am I?” her now-monstrous voice came out in a blend of horror and rage. 

“Now just calm down, no good in freaking out,” Gentle said smoothly, raising his hands. “Me and my friend just...Made a few tweaks to you are your little choir group here.” 

The girl looked at her friends and gagged. “You did this to them? To me?! They look like... they look horrible!” 

“You actually look quite normal. For Freaks, at least.” 

“Freaks? What are those?” 

“...Of course, the people we infect don’t even know what a Freak is,” Gentle sighed, throwing up his hands. 

Another voice came in from above them. “We’re superbeings, kid.” 

“Wait, who are you?!” the girl shouted, jumping back as Brutal dropped from the ceiling. 

“Christian Brutal Sniper. You?” The Australian asked, cracking his neck. 

“...Alicia. What did you do to us?” 

“Turned you all into Freaks. I thought that was obvious,” Brutal said, looking over the choir girls, who were now coming to. 

“Wh-” Alicia blinked, holding her head and stumbling back as the other girls sat up, groaning. “What am I hearing?” 

“What am I seeing?” another girl asked, speaking in unison with her. 

“What happened to us?!” a third joined in. 

Brutal peered at the girls, a glint of creepily gleeful curiosity flickering in his eyes. “A hivemind. That’s the best Freak development yet.” 

“Hive mind?!” the girls managed, blinking as their vision and senses returned. “What are you talking about? How did- why- when-” Questions rushed out of the girls’ mouths as they looked at themselves and each other. 

“We could use this,” Gentle said pointedly, pulling Brutal aside.

“You think that I don’t know that? Give Doc Jarate a call. He’ll know how to put these girls to use.” 

Gentle grabbed his phone. “Where’s the adult that came with them?” 

“Not sure. She must have ran out before we got here.” 

Gentle shrugged. “She’s probably gonna end up causing trouble. We can bring her in then.” 

Suddenly, a horrified scream reached everyone’s ears. 

“The chains were overkill, you know,” Gentle commented. 

“Just had to be safe. Bring him here.” 

There was the sound of crashing and fighting, and then the receptionist was pulled in by the chains coming from his chest, snarling like a vicious animal. 

“Seems like an intense little bugger. What do you think his powers are?” Brutal asked, looking the mangled receptionist over. 

“I don’t know. You’ve never gouged out someone’s eyes before.” 

The receptionist moved to bite Brutal’s hand, hissing as black slime dripped from the holes where his eyes had been, falling to the floor and burning through it. 

“Never seen that before…” Brutal mused, peering at the black ooze. 

“Neither have I. He attacked with these things,” Gentle informed, holding up the chains. “And if you get his mouth open the whole way, there are so many teeth in there. Ugh.” 

“Different forms of torture lead to different results...I like this new development,” Brutal chuckled, giving a wry, unhinged grin. 

The receptionist growled, then pulled at the chains as if asking to be let go. 

“Hurry up and give Doc Jarate a call. He’ll want to hear about this.” 

** 

At Spyper’s van, Marcus, Cally, and Ari were eating scrambled eggs. 

Marcus was still watching Spyper and Intelligent like a hawk, his sharp gaze warning them away. Ari was sewing some clothes Spyper had torn, whistling cheerfully. Cally was playing chess with Intelligent. “I still can’t believe you’re so good at chess. You know how many people there are at my school who can play?” 

“How many?” The pot wearing Freak asked, moving his Rook. 

“One,” Cally grumbled. “Just one. Her name is Cally.” 

“Must suck not having anyone to play with,” Intelligent chuckled. 

“Absolutely. I had to play with a computer. Marcus keeps promising to learn, but never does.” 

“Because it’s boring,” Marcus quipped. 

"It is not!" Cally shot back. 

“It’s an acquired hobby,” Intelligent shrugged. 

“I don’t see why you don’t just change out of this,” Ari complained after poking Spyper again. “Don’t you have another outfit?” 

“Why? I look good in this!” Spyper protested. 

“I’ve poked you 4 times.” 

“I can handle it,” Spyper replied. 

“And it smells like pee.” 

“That’s one of my weapons.” 

“You use pee as a weapon?” 

Spyper grinned. “I’ll explain on the way to… where do you want to go?” 

“Anywhere,” Marcus replied. “Anywhere we can get help.” 

“You got it,” Spyper replied, heading to the wheel once Ari was finished. 

** 

The receptionist watched with nonexistent eyes as the girls asked Brutal and Gentle, “So you want to do this to everyone else?” All of them looked at the two with an intrigued, uneasy look. It was as if it was one person. 

“Yes. When everyone’s like this, it means you can do whatever you want without consequences,” Gentle grinned, looking over the new Freaks with sadistic glee. 

“Like, go out late at night?” One asked, and they all tilted their heads. 

“You poor, sweet, innocent souls,” Brutal laughed, shaking his head. “No. We Freaks have had our fun ruined by organizations like HECU for too long. It's time we got rid of them and make this world a sandbox for Freaks like us to run amuck in.” 

“Fun?” 

“Like what?” 

The girls, as one, leaned in, curious. 

“Doing what we used to do. Destroy and maim whatever and whoever we want. To have that rush of adrenaline whenever we want!” Gentle grinned crazily. 

“You kill people?” the girls asked, matching looks of worry crossing their faces. 

The receptionist scoffed decisively, indicating himself. 

“Yes. But afterwards, they’ll wake up with their own superpowers. It’s a win-win situation.”

The receptionist grabbed a Sharpie and drew an eyeroll on a wall. 

The girls tensed. “So we’re dead?” 

The receptionist growled and stormed out of the room. 

“Basically,” Gentle shrugged. 

The girls paused and closed their eyes, as if talking amongst each other mentally, then decided, “You know what? This isn’t too bad. We’re in.” 

Gentle grinned. “Good. Now, here’s what you have to do…” 

As he talked, Brutal went out to get the receptionist and found him in another room sitting in a corner in silence. 

He growled lowly when he heard Brutal approach, and the chains slowly rose in warning. 

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Brutal leered. “It’s not all bad. You’ve got powers now. That’s gotta count for something.” 

The receptionist indicated the hole in his chest and his mouth, hissing. Then he stood up, angrily pointing to himself and out a window, at the town. 

“Now just calm down. Think about this for a second. You won’t be accepted by them anymore, but you’re perfectly welcome with us Freaks.” 

The receptionist tilted his head, snarling, then went back to looking outside. The chains formed the words: I belong out there. 

“Not anymore you don’t,” Brutal said sternly. “You belong here. With us Freaks.” 

You did this to me. How am I supposed to just go with you? 

“Where else are you supposed to go? The people out there will fear you, and they’ll run the moment they see you. Us Freaks are just about the only place you can go.” 

Why do you want to do this? What did I ever do to you? What do you want? 

“Didn’t you hear my friend out there? We want to turn everyone into a Freak, because when everyone’s a Freak, no one will be able to stop us from doing what we used to do. I don’t have to worry about my fun being ruined by HECU or some other organization that decides to pop up.” 

So, anarchy? And you expect me to not only be okay with this, but help you? 

“It is your only option now,” Brutal grinned. 

The receptionist growled, but bowed his head in a silent admission that the Freak who had stripped him of his humanity and turned him into this… thing was right. 

“It’s not all bad. You’ve got powers now,” Brutal assured slyly. “Come on. Let's get you acquainted with some of the Freaks that are helping me with this plan.” 

The receptionist nodded and approached, handing Brutal the chains like a dog handing his owner his leash. 

“Doc Jarate will find a job for you. Trust me, you’ll come to love this life.” 

The receptionist nodded. 

Outside a window, a hooded figure watched the scene with a scowl, then stormed away. “Son of a b@#$h,” she muttered as she headed to a motorcycle. With a pin and scissors, she hotwired it and started it up before driving away. 

[purplesurveys]

987

survey by shamegmeg

Have you ever cut your own hair? I’ve trimmed my own bangs but that’s it. I feel like doing anything to my hair altogether on my own is too big a move and would have bigger consequences if I fuck it up (which I definitely will end up doing).

What do you eat most frequently? Meat - chicken, beef, and pork. It’s in nearly every dish we eat, if not all of them.

Are you a fan of video games? I will always find the topic interesting and I played a fair share of video games growing up, but I’m not an ultra fan of any of the most popular games right now. I do like staying updated with my favorite series like Grand Theft Auto, The Sims, Mario Kart, etc. but it’s rare that I get my hands on the console itself to play. 

What's your favorite color combination? I don’t really think of any specific two colors, but I’m generally a fan of combinations of muted or pastel colors. Anything that doesn’t hurt my eyes too much.

Did you share a locker at school? We didn’t do that; we each had our own.

What's one sport you could never play? Basketball. Never understood the rules and I just never had the stamina for it. I’m also pretty competitive so I feel like I’d be pissed off and take it personally whenever somebody blocks me hahaha.

Blue or black ink? Black. I have nothing against blue though - I just like keeping pens with black ink around more.

Have you ever sang karaoke? Just once or twice. I’m not extroverted enough for it, not even when drunk. I just really hate the sound of my own singing voice, so it doesn’t help if I’m suddenly singing into a microphone.

What was the last concert you attended? Answer’s gonna be unchanged for the meantime, man...Paramore. No complaints naming them every time I’m asked this, though. Let’s hope they’ll also be the next concert I attend, as they like coming back to Manila anyway :))

Have you held anyone's hand in the past week? No.

What's your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? I’ve used Beyoncé’s Heat Rush since high school. I’ve never gotten tired of the scent and pretty much everyone knows me by that perfume now.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Before Covid, it depended on how late I’d get out of bed. If I had the energy to get up earlier, I’d devote 20-30 minutes to getting ready; but if it was a harder morning to face, I’d just take a quick 3-minute shower and wear the first things I see in my closet. These days since I just work from home, all I need to do is shower which takes no more than a few minutes.

What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? I think anyone of any gender of any age (except babies and younger kids) of any background from any walk of life should be allowed to wear makeup...

How old were you when you went on your first date? I was 16.

What's your nationality(ies)? Filipino.

Are you an open book? I can be for the most part since there’s no harm in sharing, but there are a few things that I’m extremely protective and secretive about.

Do you think you're a good secret keeper? Yeah. I used to share secrets with Gab but that’s because she tends to forget easily, but otherwise I have no problem taking secrets with me to my grave.

Name one fashion trend you could never follow. I have never been into wedges. Too chunky-looking.

Do you prefer long hair or short hair? On me? Short. It’s easier to maintain and take care of.

When do you plan to go to sleep tonight? Depends on how tired I am by the end of the day. I did make a cup of coffee today though so the caffeine might also choose to hang out into the evening.

Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yes.

If so, who? Gabie.

What exotic animal would you love to have as a pet? That’s a pass for me. I don’t know their temperament and what they need on a normal day, so I’m really not well-equipped to keep an exotic animal as a pet and I don’t want to end up accidentally killing them or something.

Do you want kids when you're older? At this point in my life I can go with or without them.

Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? I’m definitely grateful for it now, but when I was going through ballet classes as a five year old I absolutely hated it and had no idea what I was doing there. I wish I could tell my five year old self to appreciate it more because now I think it’s pretty cute that my parents wanted me to take up ballet and enrolled me in classes.

Where's your cell phone? It’s just right beside me. It’s always right beside me, haha.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I’ve always been a firm supporter of the egg lol because it had to be an earlier version of the chicken that laid the egg that would ultimately hatch the chicken as we know them today. Idk though, I hate questions like this hahahaha

What are your feelings about Octomom? I don’t know anything more than the fact that she had octuplets, which is awesome and badass in itself.

Do you know of Smosh? I used to LOVE Smosh, like holy shit. I probably talked about them in my earliest surveys a decade ago; simply put I was hooked. Watched every new episode and every new Lunchtime with Smosh/Ian Is Bored video from around maybe 2010-2013 until they started adding more crew members and until their videos started to stray from the content that made them blow up in the first place. I still remember when it was Smosh and Pewdiepie vying for the highest subscriber count on YouTube, haha. Was also sad when Anthony left. Suffice it to say I’ll always hold a fondness for Smosh - Anthony and Ian were my first favorite YouTubers along with Pewdiepie.

Do you drink enough water daily? Some days I do, some days I don’t.

Is your diet healthy? When I do eat my dishes are always a good balance of meat and veggies, but I feel like me skipping most of my meals overshadows that fact and makes my overall diet not-so-healthy.

What's your favorite fruit? The only one I’ve had and not feel like gagging whenever I consume it is avocado. To an extent, tomato too.

What was your favorite Halloween costume? Going as my former best friend, Sofie.

Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? I bought a few trinkets from Japan when I was there, but they were all for my loved ones and I don’t exactly remember what I bought anymore.

Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? Laptop. 

Where do you plan to post this survey? Tumblr, as I’ve always done in the last near-decade or so.

Do you remember anyone's number by heart? My mom’s, sister’s, and Gabie’s.

Are you a morning person or a late night owl? I’m more of a morning person lately because of work and because of the need to be chirpy by 9 AM. Being awake these days makes me sad now, so I avoid staying up late as much as I can; which means my days of being a night owl are over.

Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Coprophagia.

What do you think is your biggest flaw? I’m super competitive, which makes me the suckiest person to have friendly games with. I avoid them altogether so that I don’t end up killing the vibe of whatever crowd I’m with. I’ll own this lol.

First physical trait you notice in the sex you're attracted to? Wouldn’t say I’m automatically attracted to any sex. With everyone though, I tend to notice body language first which kiiinda counts as a physical trait.

How about personality wise? Whether they look approachable/easy to talk to or not.

Are you sick often? Almost never.

Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? Uh I’d rather not be sick at all hahaha.

When did you last shower? This morning, before work. We have online meetings every Monday morning, and I wanted to look fresh and clean for it.

Do you have neat handwriting? I’d say so. I get a lot of compliments about my penmanship and my friends usually call on me when they need someone with consistent and clean handwriting, so I guess must be holding my pens right.

Are you a messy or organized person? I’d say my workspaces are always organized but my personal space (car, backpack, etc) is messy.

At what age do you hope to get married? By the end of my 20s or early 30s.

Is being thin really all that great? Idk, I feel like the experience differs per person. I don’t have complaints about it for the most part, but it can get annoying when there are certain tops I’d like to wear but will never be able to pull off and thus have to leave on the rack just because my chest is flat or my overall figure is rather tiny.

Which of the seven deadly sins do you think you're most guilty of? Pride.

How much time have you spent on the computer today? 9 hours and counting. WFH is basically being on the computer all day, so that’s a big reason why I’ve racked up so many hours.

What size shoe are you? 6–7.5.

How was the weather today? The sun was out but fortunately it wasn’t all that hot for me to feel uncomfortable. I hate that it was bright all day, though. My disposition is more likely to improve if it’s cloudy and a little gloomy, haha.

Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above.

Do you know how to use Photoshop? I tried to play and experiment with it as a teen, but it just never made sense to me. I hate touching any kind of Adobe program.

Admit it, you're thinking about someone right now. Eh, false. I’m thinking of how much longer this survey will still be.

Where is he/she?

Where was your first job? My first internship was also at a PR agency, if that counts.

Favorite year in high school? Junior year.

East or West? As in parts of the world? East all the way, of course.

Where did your first kiss take place? On my bed.

What color do you wear most often? Probably maroon because of how many UP shirts I have.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone to? That would be my dad.

Have you ever done your own laundry? Kinda. I’ve had to wash my blanket a few times because Cooper peed on them.

Have you ever been to a night club? Yes.

Are you allergic to anything? Nope.

What's the best place you have ever eaten? Mendokoro Ramenba by a freaking mile.

Do you own a hair straightener? No. My mom does; if I ever need a straightener I just borrow hers.

Are you barefoot right now? Yep, always am when I’m at home except for the rare times I put socks on.

Are you subscribed to any magazine? No. Even when magazine subscriptions were popular I was never subscribed to any; I didn’t see the point when I could just get the new issue every month at the mall myself lol.

Puppies or kittens? Puppies.

If you had a billion dollars, where would your first investment be made? First I would probably read up on investment so that I don’t end up making decisions I’ll regret. My first agenda is to help my parents settle whatever payments they’re making at the moment, so that they don’t have to worry about any of that crap anymore.

Who is the best artist you've seen live? PARAMORE. I mean they’re artists, as in plural, but still.

Any major plans coming up this week? Keep myself alive.

Did you know they never told you Arnold's last name in Hey, Arnold? Never realized that but I don’t really care too much, considering I was never into the show.

Would you rather watch a romantic comedy or watch a thrilling horror movie? Romantic comedy, as long as it’s one I’ve already seen and enjoyed, like Love Actually or The Proposal. Most other romcoms are too cheesy and suck.

How is your hair styled right now? It’s in a ponytail that’s been unchanged all day, so it’s a bit messy at this point.

Favorite person that you've talked to today? Angela.

Do you need AC right now? I’m good. It’s a little chilly tonight, so yay.

Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? My first name is already my nickname - most people just call me Robyn. At home, though, I’m usually called a shortened version of my name.

Name something you're proud of. I confided in Angela today that I’m finally starting to think of seeing a therapist. Which I think is such a big realization to have and a big choice to have made. So yay me. Let’s hope I actually push through with it, and let’s hope I’m able to land a job soon so I can finally fucking afford to see one.

Are you a hopeless romantic? I never knew what this meant and I don’t feel like learning tonight.

How do you feel about couples who say 'I love you' too soon? No judgment. I don’t comment on how other couples navigate their relationship; it’s their thing.

What's the most recent favor you've done for somebody? Can’t remember.

Are you at home right now? Yep.

What did you last spend money on? Gas.

Does any accent annoy you? Stereotypical ones, like how Filipino-American stand-up comedians always try to cash in on Filipino quirks and make fun of thick Filipino accents, which makes all Filipinos look like we can’t speak English ‘properly,’ whatever properly means. Full-blooded Filipinos are so sick of that shit. We get it, the cellpown is ober der -___-

How about turn you on? None actively turn me on.

Are you wearing any jewelry? No.

Do you get along better with your mom or your dad? Dad. Easier to talk to and we share more interests.

Are you craving anything right now? Sushi.

What's worse: Crocs or Uggs? I’d go with Uggs, because Crocs actually look cute on kids so at least it suits one market lol

Do you knock before you open doors? Yep, always. I learned the habit because my mom never knocks and I quickly realized I don’t want to be that kind of person.

Do you know what a sock on the doorknob means? I think so.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.

What's your zodiac sign? Taurus.

Does Fred from Youtube annoy you? I don’t think he ever did.