#kinda risky to post late in the night but whatever

[sunnflower-clouds]

I love emo pvc

[urtheoneiwant]

Buckle Bunny of Sorts │ Rhett Abbott

Genre: SMUT with some fluff

Summary: From the insistence of a friend, you spend a night out on the town. But you run into your long time crush, Rhett Abbott, and he has something to tell you.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+ ONLY! P in v, oral sex (female receiving), small spit kink, dirty talk, degradation, praise, kinda dom!Rhett and sub!reader, use of term 'buckle bunny', pining, revealing feelings, unprotected sex, pull-out method (be smart! don't use pull-out method as a form of birth control irl), messy sex, pet names (bunny, baby), a smidge of sexism from the towns people? Written as a fem!reader. Just nasty, nasty filth.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: My first smut! Please be kind, I'm still very new to writing and especially smut. But I loved Outer Range and I saw someone post about wanting to be Rhett's buckle bunny and couldn't get this out of my head. I didn't want country girl (as I call her) to be an actually buckle bunny since they are sort of frowned upon (but I say you do you). So this is the idea I came up with instead. It took me forever to write this, but I'm pretty proud of it. In conclusion, I love Lewis Pullman and the characters he plays. Go watch Outer Range if you like Lewis, he's amazing in it and it is such a great show! Now I have to go bathe in holy water :) Oh and feel free to send in any request or thoughts you have about Top Gun or other characters. There is a list on my page of the main fandoms I'm into, but you can send whatever you want it and I've might have seen/read it. And you can always reach out to me for whatever (rants, ideas, links to articles about be we're obsessed with) Thanks for the support!

SMUT BELOW CUT. 18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

(GIF is not mine)

Admittedly, you felt a bit stupid. In your head, this seemed like a good idea, but as the idea becomes a reality you mentally kick yourself for it. 

You’ve grown up in Amelia county your entire life. And in a place like this, people tend to stick to their roots, inner circle, and cliques. That being said, you knew just about everyone in your town, and definitely knew every boy your age. The problem was that they knew you too. Growing up you were definitely an outcast. Spending all your free time working to help pay the bills didn’t give you many chances to make friends. You were boring, safe. You knew it. You weren’t anything to write home about. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

Last week you sat with the one friend you managed to make throughout your time in school, Sadie, and spilled these thoughts to her.

“That’s bullshit honey, and you know it.” Leave it to Sadie to soften the blow. “I’m sorry, but you are beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you. But you spend all your time holed up at work or with me. These guys haven’t got a proper look at you since you hit puberty, no wonder they don’t seem interested.” She lectured.

“Well, what am I supposed to do about that? Get all dolled up for a night on the town? Look around, it’d be ridiculous” You replied.

“Come on, let me take you out. Just throw on some daisy dukes, a risky top, and some nice boots. It’ll be fun. And I’ll personally beat the shit out of anyone who has anything bad to say. Please, please, please…” And you knew that when Sadie was like this, you had no choice but to give in. So you agreed, one night out. 

And that’s how you found yourself in your apartment letting Sadie pick out your outfit. She refused to tell you where you both were going, claiming that she didn’t want you to “get scared off.” And after opening the door wearing a pair of worn-out jeans and mud-covered boots, Sadie pushed her way inside to make you change.

She rifled through your dresser before holding up the tiniest pair of shorts you own. “No way, those are from high school. I don't even think they’ll fit. Plus it’s late out, why would I want to wear shorts?” You tried to reason with her, you really did. 

“They may not fit you like they did in high school, but that’s the point, honey. Just trust me this once. Everyone is going to be all over you.” She replied, and handed you the shorts. As you began to wiggle them up she quietly added “Oh, and Rhett’s going to be there.”

You froze in place, glaring at your friend. “WHAT? Oh my god. Oh my god. I can’t believe you.” Rhett fucking Abbott. The cowboy that you had been crushing on since middle school. Ever since the day he saw you walking home late after babysitting for a little cash and offered, no insisted, on walking you home. He was a few years ahead of you and happened to be friends with your older brother. Anytime he would come round your house to see your brother you would find yourself with your ear pressed to your door, trying to catch any of the words he was saying. Your eyes always seemed to wander outside your window to see if he was out back throwing a ball around with your brother. Once you even caught a glimpse of him shirtless after coming over to help your mom with some yard work.

Needless to say, your crush on Rhett didn’t get any better. In high school, you went out of your way to see him in the halls, or to accidentally run into him on your way home from work. You even went as far as to offer to tutor him in algebra, a class you yourself were failing. He wasn’t too keen on getting your help once your brother told him about that. 

Now, Rhett had grown up and you had too. You would see him from time to time at the bar you worked at, always polite and asking about your family. And even now, you couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted whenever he was around. Some crushes just don’t go away. 

“You’ve been into him since 8th grade! I can’t believe you haven’t made a move yet. It’s time to put your big girl panties on and do something. Hell, screw someone else for all I care. All I know is that if I have to watch you make puppy dog eyes at Rhett from across a room one more time, I’m going to lose my mind.” Sadie said. But that was the problem. No matter how many guys you went out with, or screwed, you always came back to Rhett. Honestly, you could see why it was so exhausting for your friend to watch all the time, it was a bit pathetic being a grown woman with a crush from middle school. 

Deciding to listen to your friend and do something about your pining over him, you buttoned up your shorts and turned to look in the mirror. Sadie was right, they don’t fit as they did in high school. Where they used to be a bit loose on you, they now held on to every curve you had. Damn, when did you get an ass? Swallowing your nerves, you shoved your feet into your white boots that only appeared on special occasions. To top it off, you threw on an old flannel opting to tie it up and undo the top couple of buttons to let a bit of your cleavage spill out. 

“Now, that is hot. He’s going to be drooling over you, just wait” Sadie hyped you up. She reached up and messed your hair up just a bit, giving it a wind-swept look before ushering you out to her truck. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After driving for a half hour, Sadie pulled into a dirt parking lot. You saw lights flashing, and heard cheering coming from the stadium seats. She took you to a fucking rodeo. Dressed in booty shorts. 

“This is a joke. I look like a goddamn buckle bunny for christ's sake.” You curse out to her. She has the audacity to simply smirk back and says,

“Bout time you start acting like one.” And with that, she was out of the car and walking towards the show. With no other option but to sit and stew in the truck all night, you reluctantly hop out too. You curse under your breath and begin to tell Sadie that this is the last time you go anywhere with her without knowing before what she had planned. 

Walking into the crowd, you felt your throat dry. You could feel people staring and you swore you heard a whisper that said “Is that Bruce’s daughter, Y/N?”. Suddenly, you became very interested in kicking the gravel under your boots. 

Sadie did her best to reassure you, grabbing your hand and weaving you to a back lot. The crowd was sparse back here, and it looked like most of the guys hanging around were bull riders getting ready. “I don’t think we should be back here,” you said into Sadie’s ear and moved to pull your hand out of her grasp. But before you could she whipped you back around.

“This is it Y/N. Scout out which one of these boys you’re going to be riding tonight” She said with a wink. You let your eyes briefly scan the group. None of them noticed you two seeing as you were tucked a ways away. You made out a few familiar faces but you had no desire to talk to, let alone seduce, any of these guys. As you opened your mouth to inform your friend of this, your eyes caught something. Not something, but someone.

Standing slightly turned away from you and chatting with some other rider, you saw Rhett. Maybe it was because you only got to see him in dim-lit bars nowadays, but you swore he somehow was more attractive than you remembered. 

He wore a blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up, allowing you to see the veins run down his arms. You got a flash of the tattoo on his forearm, the one you imagined so often at night when thinking of him. He had his chaps on, the fringe down the sides fluttering ever so slightly in the wind. His signature black hat was perched on his head. At that moment, you swear you could’ve died. 

You didn’t realize how long you had been staring until Sadie gave you a nudge. “Close your mouth or you’ll attract flies,” she said. It was then you noticed that you in fact had been standing there with your jaw on the floor admiring this man. Your eyes stayed locked on his figure as you gave him a once-over. God, he was gorgeous. Even with the layers of clothes he had on you could tell how lean and strong he was.

As your gaze made your way back up to his face, you were now looking right into his bright blue eyes. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He caught you. He fully caught you drooling over him. And just when it couldn’t get any worse, the fucker had a smirk plastered on his face and sent a wink your way. You averted your eyes and pretended you weren’t there, feeling a hot blush creep up your neck. But just when things couldn’t get any worse, you heard Sadie yell out, “Hey there Rhett”.

You silently prayed to the gods above that he wouldn’t walk over to you two, but it fell on deaf ears as you heard the crunch of gravel grow louder. Next thing you know he’s standing right smack in front of you. “Hi there Sadie, how’s your ma?” he asked, his southern drawl heavy.

“She’s well, thanks for asking. You know Y/N right? You were friends with her brother growing up” Sadie tried to segue. You forced yourself to bring your eyes up to meet his. 

“Well of course I do, how could I forget a face as pretty as that?” Your eyes snapped to meet his. No way, there was no way Rhett Abbott was flirting with you. He was just being nice, that’s all.

“Oh um, hi. Good to see you.” You muttered out, full of nerves. Sadie cleared her throat and you thought back to her earlier lecture. Maybe it was finally time for you to get out there. Stop playing it so safe all the time. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. So with some more confidence mustered you blurted out “I hope you do good tonight. I’m sure you will.”

Without missing a beat he responded, “Oh now that I know you’re here I definitely will. Always ride better when I know a gorgeous girl like you is watching.” His words sent heat blooming between your thighs. Fully committing to the act you took a step toward him and leaned up onto your toes to whisper in his ear.

“Well if you win, we’ll have to celebrate. Why don’t you come to find me after you finish up? Let me give you a victory prize.” You did your best to put on the most sultry voice you had. And despite the confidence you were exuding, you were scared shitless deep down. As soon as the words left your mouth, you were off. You swayed your hips a bit as you went to find a seat, knowing that he would be looking.

You didn’t dare look back until you reached the arena seats. Sadie guided you to sit down amongst the crowd, all waiting for the show to begin. And just as she opened her mouth to ask you what happened you whisper out “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad at all.” She whispered trying to not draw any attention.

“Oh no. It was bad. Very very very bad. Can’t show my face around here again bad. Have to leave the country bad.” You felt bile rise up in your throat. You turn to your friend and recount to her what you had just told the man of your dreams. It was like word vomit, you couldn’t stop freaking out and rambling. 

“Y/N. STOP. Take a breath. The worst case he says no, he leaves once he’s done tonight. At least you know you tried. But you’re forgetting that he could be just as into you. And from the way he was talking it sounds like he is. So it’s going to be fine. He’s fine, you’re fine. All we can do is sit and try to enjoy the show.” Sadie reasoned with you. And you knew she was right. So you sat there, ass freezing from the cool metal bleachers. The more you thought about her words, the more you were able to calm yourself down. What’s done is done, and you rather be rejected than never know. 

The soothing mindset you were in came crashing down the second Rhett’s name rang out. He was heading out for his final ride of the night. You felt your mind go blank and body numb as you focused on the arena in front of you. Honestly, you knew very little about bull riding but the way his muscles strained and body twisted was enough to keep you interested. Timed seemed to slow as you stared at him squeezing his hips to stay on the bucking bull.  

After what felt like minutes of him being tossed around, you gasped as he was uprooted from his saddle. You knew that was bound to happen with any bull riding venture, but it still startled you to see him thrown about like that. He was yanked up and led out of the arena until the bull was wrangled. When he walked back out, your tension eased seeing he was unharmed. 

You locked eyes on the scoreboard and nearly fell out of your chair when you saw his score. He won, holy shit he won. You were on your feet in an instant, screaming your head off. You felt a rush of pride for him, knowing how much his bull riding meant to him. Sadie jumped with you, and you were sure you were the loudest there. 

After yelling for much too long to be appropriate, Sadie gave your arm a tug. “Come on” and you, still being in a blissed-out state, let her take you back to where you first ran into Rhett that night. You looked around in the dark, eyes wide anticipating what would happen next.  A chill ran up your spine as you thought about your earlier promise to Rhett if he won. Startled out of your thoughts, you heard the sound of whooping and cheers from some men around you. Cranking your neck around you spotted him.

He was caked in dirt and his sleeves were hastily pushed up, hat askew on his head that was tilted back with a wide grin. Your mouth ran dry as butterflies erupted inside you. His eyes began to scan the small crowd of people before landing on you. Burning with embarrassment and admittedly desire, you shifted your eyes elsewhere. But soon enough, you heard that all too familiar voice. “Hey there ladies.” 

“Hey Rhett, congrats on the big win. Y/N and I were cheering you on” Sadie said. 

“Oh, I bet y’all were. Hey Y/N, can I talk to you real quick?” Rhett turned and asked you.

With a nod of your head, he gently took your hand and pulled you under a nearby tree. Still too shy to make eye contact, he brushed his hand under your jaw and turned you to look into his blue eyes. “You know I don’t expect anything. If you want to act like nothing happened earl-”

“No” you rush out. “No, I mean I want to. If you do.” Talking to just him and him alone felt so much easier. You felt your confidence grow back and expectantly looked at him.

“Well darlin’ I would want nothing more. You want to go back to your place for a bit?” He questioned, still being gentle with you as to give you an out if you changed your mind.

“Yes please,” you murmur. You felt as though you were floating when he wrapped a strong arm around your waist and led you back over to Sadie. 

“Hey Sadie, you alright if I take Y/N home? Just figure it would be nice for us to catch up.” 

“Oh, sure! By all means, go ‘catch up’” Sadie had the cockiest smirk plastered on her face, and while you wanted to be mad at her for it you also know she was the whole reason you were going home with Rhett Abbott tonight.

Walking out to the parking lot, Rhett keeps his arm firmly around your midsection till you arrive at his truck. He opens the passenger door for you before walking around and getting in himself. The roar of the engine coming to life jolts you forward a bit, remembering that you were in fact about to go home and get railed by the hottest cowboy you’ve ever seen. 

“What are you thinking about Bunny?” Rhett can tell you were getting lost in thought.

“What did you call me?” Surprised by the nickname and the way it made you clench your thighs even tighter. 

“Bunny. You look like a buckle bunny in that getup. But it’s cute, I like it on you.” He answered honestly. On any other occasion, you would’ve been pissed that someone thought of you as a buckle bunny. You grew up on a ranch in rural Wyoming, you were the farthest thing from a buckle bunny possible. But the way Rhett talked about you made you melt. 

“Oh yeah. Blame Sadie. Wanted me to get myself out there more I guess.” You replied chewing on your bottom lip.

“Well, it was definitely nice to see you outside of the bar you work at. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for the longest time but I felt weird bothering you at work.” You whipped your head around at the confession.

Staring at his side profile as he continued to drive, “That’s nice of you to say, but it’s okay you don’t have to lie.” You didn’t believe it. That a man like Rhett would be interested in talking to someone like you. 

“I’m not lying. I’ve always kinda liked you. But I guess I just never acted on them. And I know we’re on our way to your place so I can rail the shit outta ya, but I’m not just interested in sex from you. Let me take you out one night? It took me long enough to make a move on you, don’t make me wait any longer.” He said with the utmost sincerity. You were stunned. Shocked. All this time you two idiots both liked each other, and it was a rodeo and a plotting friend to finally make you realize it. 

“I would like that. A lot.” You smile up at him as you pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex. 

Cutting off the engine, Rhett runs around to open your car door. Always a gentleman. You laced your fingers with his as you tug him upstairs to your place. You feel him placing teasing kisses on your neck and jaw when he can reach you. You giggle, moving even faster to get up the 3 flights of stairs. 

When you reach the door of your apartment, you fumble around looking for your keys in your purse. When you manage to grab them, you pull them out with shaking hands cursing as they fall to the ground. Before you could bend down to retrieve them, Rhett already has them scooped up. He chuckles softly before resting his hand on your shoulder and rubbing your arm soothingly. 

“You don’t need to be nervous Bunny. But I want to ask you again, are you okay with this?” He asks kindly, eyes soft and hands warm.

“More than okay.” And you pull him down by his shirt to crash your lips onto his. It was messy and desperate. Teeth clashed and tongues battled for dominance. You slid your hands up Rhett’s neck and into the curls at the back of his head tugging softly. His one arm wrapped around you and pulled you impossibly closer to his body. You recognize the faint jingle of keys through your fuzzy headspace and realize he was unlocking your front door with his tongue down your throat. 

The door soon swung open and Rhett began to push your intertwined bodies inside. Stumbling in, you hear a door slam behind you before he has you pushed against a wall. His leg came in between yours, knee and thigh pressing up into your core. You let out a whine into the kiss, the feeling of him making you even wetter. In fact, you were sure you were absolutely drenched. 

Seemingly reading your mind, Rhett broke the kiss to ask, “How wet are you Bunny? How wet does the idea of my cock have you? Bet you were sitting in those stands all night just soaking wet.” You merely moan in response, your brain not working fast enough to form actual words. Rhett brings his lips to your neck biting and sucking hickies into your smooth skin. You run your hands down his back to the hem of his shirt. Too impatient to unbutton his top, he leans back and pulls it over his head. 

You knew Rhett was strong. After years of working at the ranch and bull riding, you expected him to be pretty muscular. But the actual sight of his abs, sharp and all edges, makes your mouth water. You tentatively place a hand on his toned chest. God, it looked like his body was made of chiseled marble. Under your hand, you feel his warmth radiating and the steady beat of his heart. When you force yourself to pull your eyes up to his, he says “Your turn.”

He places his hands on the bottom of your shirt, eyes silently asking if he could take it off. Your hands reach down and cover his, urging him to swiftly remove your top. His eyes immediately move to your breast, covered in the white lace of your bra (if you could even call the small scrap of fabric that). You hear a faint groan come from him before he ducks his head down. Placing open mouth kisses along the top of your tits, he brings his right hand up to palm your breast and roll your nipple. His mouth goes lower and latches onto the other nipple through the lace of your bra. 

Your fingers tangle into his hair, pulling him closer to you. It’s not enough. You’ll never have enough of him. Soft moans tumble past your lips and Rhett takes this a cue to keep going. Eventually he pulls off and uses a hand to unclasp your bra as it falls to the ground. Getting a full view of your tits, Rhett brings both his hands to them and gives them one last squeeze before kissing your lips once again. Getting frustrated and wanting, no needing, more you drag your hand to his ripped figure. Your fingers trailed down the wide expanse of his chest and trace down his happy trail until you reach the waistband of his jeans. Popping the button and pulling down the zipper, Rhett helps you by tugging his jeans down as fast as he can. He kicks them off, leaving him in his tight boxer briefs. A tent is growing in them and you let out a gulp at the size of him. 

“Don't be scared honey, I’ll stretch you real good before I fill you up” his voice fills the air. Excited at the idea, you grab his arm and drag him farther into your apartment and to your bedroom. You pull him in front of you and push him down on the bed causing him to look up at you. Reaching to your shorts, you nearly rip down your legs ready for him to touch you. Before you can pull your panties down, Rhett reaches out to them. He rubs his calloused hands over your hips and yanks you so you have no option but to straddle his figure. “Bunny, with panties like that I don’t think I could stand you not wearing them as I fuck you.”

You whimper at his words alone and he lets out a chuckle. He runs hands up your back and suddenly you are flipped over onto your back, Rhett now looming over you. Scooting down the bed, Rhett's face lands between your legs throwing them over his shoulders. He moans when he sees the wet spot that seems to be growing on your panties, landing wet kisses on your inner thighs. You think how could someone make a sound so beautiful. But you are quickly pulled from this as he tugs your pink panties to the side and takes in the full view of you. His eyes darken and he rasps out “Holy shit baby, you are so goddamn hot. I might come in my fucking boxers,” and he subtly grinds his hips into the mattress in attempt to get some much needed friction. Opening your mouth to make some teasing comment, you instead let out a cry as Rhett licks a bold stripe up your pussy. He lands on your clit, tongue moving in figure eights over top. For the second time that night, you find yourself pulling Rhett by his hair closer to you. He then alternates between lightly fucking his tongue into your dripping hole and brutally attacking your clit. The duality of pleasure causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

Rhett places the tip of his finger at your entrance, sliding it up and down through your folds first to get it slicked up. He breaches your entrance and your toes curl as he slides knuckle deep. “Fuck, oh my god Rhett please please, keep going,” pathetic pleas fall from you. You feel him adjust his thick digit in you until he finds that spongy spot that has your back arching. “Right there- right fucking there.” Any other night you would be embarrassed that someone has you so close to coming with one finger, but right now you could care less, only able to focus on the increasing burn in your stomach. 

You can practically feel Rhett smirk against you as he eases a second finger into you, again going directly to that sweet spot inside you. He begins to thrust his fingers in and out of you, still using his mouth to suckle your clit. You are screaming in pleasure, babbles of “please” and “don’t stop” leaving your mouth. The coil inside of you is close to snapping. You are so close, so unbelievably blissed out. “I’m gonna cum Rhett. I’m so close” you speak out in warning. 

But just as close to the edge as you were, all the pleasure you felt was quickly ripped from you as Rhett removed himself from you. You glare down, sweat dripping down your forehead. “What? Why did you stop?” you croak out, voice already strained from your screaming. 

“Oh Bunny. I want the first time you cum to be on my cock.” Rhett responds and leans up to place a hot kiss on your mouth. You deepen the kiss, wanting more of him. You can taste yourself on his mouth and soon he pulls back to say “You like that dirty girl? Like the taste of your sweet pussy? You should, it’s the best pussy I’ve ever got my mouth on.” You feel yourself clench at his dirty talk, managing to turn you on even more. You whimper and try to buck your hips up to encourage him to do something, do anything. Instead he just laughs, “Oh you are so desperate Bunny. Need me to fuck your tight pussy, make you cum so hard you can only yell out my name. Don’t worry Bunny, I’ve got you.” As he speaks he wiggles himself out of his boxers, hard cock slapping his tanned abs. 

He props himself onto his forearms and brings a hand to his mouth. Your eyes widen as he spits into his hand and reaches down to pump himself a few times. Noticing your reaction he looks at you. “Open your mouth” and you obey, sticking your tongue out for good measure. You feel something wet hit your mouth before you process that he just spit into it. Rhett Abbott just spit in your mouth. And you swallowed, savoring the taste of him. “Good Bunny” he says into your ear. 

“Rhett. Fuck me.” You whine out. Now it’s his turn to moan, finally sheathing his cock into your cunt. You gasp at the stretch and he waits a few moments for you to adjust. After a second you whimper out “Move please.” And Rhett doesn’t need to be asked twice, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back inside you. The force of his thrusts push you up the bed despite Rhett’s bruising grip on your hips. 

“You feel so good baby. Squeezing me so tight. Best fucking pussy.” he praises and you clench around him. “Oh baby, you love when I talk dirty. When I tell you how amazing this cunt is. Going to make it mine, never letting anyone else near my pussy again.” You are pathetically whining and thrashing. Your nails are raking down his back, surely leaving welts in their wake. He clashes his lips onto yours and picks up his pace. The brutal fucking makes you feel like you’re floating. He licks into your mouth as you let out a steady set of moans and cries. 

Just when you think things can’t get any better, Rhett snakes his hand down to rub tight circles into your clit. Paired with his cock repeatedly hitting the sweet spot inside you, you know the knot in your tummy is starting to unravel. 

“Rhett” you whine, “Rhett, I’m so close.”

“Come on baby, make a mess on my dick. Wanna feel you cum” He responds. 

Clamping down on him, you are brought even closer to the edge. Eyes tightly shut, you turn your head to the side and let out a moan louder than you thought was possible. No one had ever made you feel this good before. You couldn’t even believe that it was the man you had been crushing on for years that was in your bed, in your pussy. And with that reminder of who it was that was fucking you better than you’ve been fucked before, you saw white behind your eyelids. As you reached your peak, heat spreading all the way through you, you couldn’t help but yell out, “Cum Rhett, let me make you feel good. Wanna be good for you, only for you.” 

Unable to resist your fucked out babbles, Rhett ruts into you. Once he knows you’ve finished riding out your orgasm he pulls out from you. Furiously fisitng his cock, he groans out reaching his own release. White ropes of his seed spurt out and land across your tits and you mewl out at the warm, sticky substance coating you. Teasingly, to bring two fingers down to swipe through his release and bring them up to your mouth. You suck on the cum from your fingers, loudly moaning at the salty taste. Both panting hard, Rhett adjusts your panties back, flops over and lays next to you. “Shit y/n. That was amazing. Was it good for you?” And you blink hard through your fuzzy mind searching for a response.

“So good. The best, I think you succeed. Definitely ruined anyone else for me.” Rhett laughs at that. Abruptly, you are filled with a new feeling. It’s warm, cozy. You blush and you realize just how much you have fallen for this cowboy next to you. 

You get lost in the idea that this is the start of something real between you two. No longer will you have to pine for him from afar. He likes you, he wants to be with you. You are consumed by him, forever connected you think. No matter what, he’ll always be there. He’s not leaving. And it’s that thought that brings you so much happiness and lets your body relax completely. 

A wet towel between the valley of your breasts pulls you from the daydream. Rhett has at some point gotten up and found something to clean you two with. You melt, heart softening at how kind and caring he was being. God, you were so lucky. 

The two of you cuddle up and spend the next hour talking about random things. Your favorite movies, what your go to karaoke song is, what you plan to do in the future. And it is easy, it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever done. And when your eyelids become heavy, you find yourself slipping into a peaceful sleep listening to the beat of Rhett’s heart. 

[narancias-headband]

Calling La Squadra at 3 a.m.

[Sequel to this post kinda]

Risotto

He'll answer right away.

He's probably awake anyway.

He's agreeing to help you before you even explain what you need.

Helping you out with whatever you need really is no bother, unless he's out on a hit. In which case he'll send one of his team members to help out.

When he answers, his voice is huskier and sleepier than usual. Nearly sultry.

"Yes, [Y/N]?" Risotto, I need your help. "I'm on my way."

Formaggio

He's probably sleeping too hard or passed out cold and doesn't even hear his phone.

If he's up, he's more than happy to help you out.

He might be drunk, though, if he is up so late. You'll need to hedge your bets on this one.

If he ends up at your place, he's asking to sleep over. There's a high probability that he crashes on your couch regardless of your answer.

"Why are you up so late? I guess, I am too, but... What do you need, sugar?"

Prosciutto

He's sleeping by now (most nights), but will wake up to answer your call. He's a very light sleeper.

Upset at you for ruining his beauty sleep, but will help you out if he deems it important enough.

If you need him in person, you'll see a rare form: Nighttime Prosciutto. He's dressed in silky pajamas and a fluffy robe, and his hair is in a messy bun. His face is still smeared with remnants of his skincare routine, and he likely has a pimple patch on a spot that he's very concerned could maybe, one day, eventually become a zit.

"And it has to be right now? *sigh* Well, I guess it can't be helped. I'll be there."

You are not allowed to speak of this form of Prosciutto to anyone.

Pesci

It may take a couple calls to wake him and finally get an answer, but Pesci is always willing to help out.

Probably the most dependable of the team.

Would literally do anything, even if it's not important.

You can hear him shuffling to get his shoes and jacket on even before you finish explaining what you need.

"Of course I'll help you. I'm already on my way over."

Please thank him for his time and efforts. He doesn't get thank you's nearly enough.

Ghiaccio

Do not call Ghiaccio in the middle of the night unless you're on his good side or literally about to die.

Either way, he's probably still gonna chew you out.

"Why the fuck did you think it was a good idea to call me this late?" I need your help with something. "Why the hell are you even awake right now?!"

He's not actually entirely opposed to helping you out and probably will anyway.

All the while yelling at you for waking him up.

Don't mention it in front of the other team members. He thinks it's bad for his reputation somehow.

Illuso

You're gonna owe him big for this.

Of course he'll help you, he'll be your knight in shining armor any time. For a favor he can cash in later, that is.

Hey, can you help me out? "So you want... A favor from me?"

You can practically hear the smirk on his face when he sees the opportunity.

Will come and do whatever you need in the most dramatic way possible, acting like he's saving your life.

If you think he's not going to hold you to that favor, think again. He's not going to forget that you owe him. He'll cash it in eventually. Probably at the worst possible moment for you.

Melone

Calling Melone at 3 a.m. is a risky move. Sure, he's more than willing to do what you need from him, but he's also pretty sure it's actually a booty call.

Mel, I really need your help. "Darling, don't be ashamed to ask me for sex." N-no, Melone, I actually- "I'm on my way."

Will show up at your place wearing next to nothing. Like he doesn't just wear that anyway.

Takes a lot of explaining that no, you weren't calling to bang, and yes, you actually want his help.

Once he gets what you're really after, he's happy to help you out. Does so kindly and genuinely.

Will ask if you'd fuck him as payment for the favor, mainly just to make sure, once again, that you didn't want that in the first place. Thankfully, he's not super insistent by the end.

[burninlovebutler]

14 - Hot or Cold?* | Forever Winter - a.b x oc

warnings: light smut, TEASING, fingers, cursing, alcohol, mention of drugs,* = smut chp, fem!oc, kinda short ? but continues nxt chp, 18+ minors dni

14/? - chp summary: austin decides to rely on the 'close call clause' to forgive his impulsive hands when they want more than they can handle

see masterlist/summary for background info + chapter log

gif cred: @troubleinapinksuit i think ?

Breathing down your neck, your body screaming And when you start to feel the rush A crimson headache, aching blush And you surrender to the touch, you'll know

-AUSTIN-

We didn’t talk about truth or dare or the dressing room. But they played in my head on a constant fucking loop.

I wanted nothing more than to use my tongue on her again.

It was three or four days after Thanksgiving and still no word from Nox. At this point Elsie was just accepting that they had broken up. Falling apart at the seams but trying so hard to hide it from me. But I knew her better than that. The depression just hadn’t stepped in just yet. She was in that post breakup phase - confident, risky, carefree. The classic ‘fuck him’ phase.

I didn’t know if it was Nox or something else that kept her from fully coming to me about it. Maybe she was embarrassed. I know I would be.

One thing I did know was that a sad Elsie came with a lot of alcohol. Which proved correct as we drank almost every night this week. With everything that happened between us recently, I was hesitant to get drunk with her again. Not to mention my little pharmaceutical helpers didn’t always mix so well with alcohol.

But none the less, we did what we did best — drink.

Preparing for my new role took a backseat because if I paid attention to it- it'd make it real. And I wasn’t sure I could handle that just yet.

I just wanted to focus on this time with Elsie, who knew when she’d inevitably leave. She always goes back, like a fucking boomerang. But I wanted her here, I needed her here. Even though our interactions weren't the most relaxing lately, she was the only constant. My only tether to sanity.

Trendy pop music pounded through speakers and Elsie was dancing around the living room. She was about 6 shots of tequila deep and I was about 3, plus a tiny bar-shaped anxiety aid.

My body battled between wanting to get up and dance with her or melting into the couch. I was buzzing and numb simultaneously.

I paid no mind to her horrible, sloppy dancing as my focus was on the hem of my oversized shirt hanging over her bare thighs. As much as I wanted to see her in that black dress from shopping, this was almost better.

I was too crossfaded to worry of how my eyes tracked her every move. She was drunk, she wasn’t going to remember anyway.

The close call clause.

Brunette curls bounced in time with her movements. The charcoal band shirt rising and falling, lifting just enough to expose her upper thighs. The sight was enough mesmerize me, each ebb of the shirt spun more thoughts in my crooked brain. I shouldn't be thinking of my hands between her thighs, or prying them open to devour her - but here we are. Those thoughts couldn't be in my brain and they definitely shouldn't be in my pants. I'm supposed to be her rock during whatever bullshit Nox was putting her through - not looking at her like she was some dessert platter to taste test from.

She ripped me out of my corrupt focus by wrapping her delicate hands around my wrist tugging on it.

“Dance with meeee.” She whined, somehow successfully won the tug-of-war and peeled me from the couch I had been fused with.

I fuckin' hated dancing but she loved it when she drank. So, naturally she always dragged me to join her.

“Augh, Els c’mon.” I grumbled as she animated my heavy arms for me.

Her cheeks tinted pink from the alcohol, mascara slightly smudged below her green eyes. The kitchen light and the glow from the city the only things that illuminated the dark living room.

The soft city glimmer landed on the curved edges of her face, it reminded me of those lanterns that are offered to water. I could’ve looked at her like that forever.  Traditionally those lanterns are symbolic for worshiping gods which was fitting, I wanted to get on my knees and worship her.

I didn’t know if it was the alcohol, the Xanax or something more that made this moment feel like pure bliss. The music, our touches, her laughter, the lighting, her hands on mine - It was putting pieces together that I didn’t like.

In whatever party playlist she was playing, an unexpected slow song came on. She stumbled over to change it when I felt myself catching her arm.

I didn’t mean to do that. At least I didn’t think so but, I did.

I gave in, I let the alcohol take control.

Fuck it.

Close call clause.

“No, leave it on.” I drew her into me, my arms wrapping around her from behind.

Any other day she would’ve hesitated, pulled away. But she didn’t this time.

She giggled, “Aust what’re you doing?”

“Dancing.”

I leaned to rest my head on her shoulder but she dipped her neck away, “You’re tickling me.”

“Am I?” Tilting so my lips hovered over her shoulder.

“Yesssss you are.” Her voice pitched from the alcohol.

“Oh, well I apologize.”

My arms tight around her waist, the extra strain pulled the shirt higher on her thighs. If I lowered my hand even a few inches–

She didn’t pull away, but did the opposite, pressing her body just marginally against mine. I fought the urge to run my hands over her curves the way I wanted to in the dressing room. Ever since I tasted her under that jello shot I only wanted more, it lit a fire that begged to be put out.

I wanted more than I could handle.

I flicked the tip of my nose across the curve of her neck, causing her to sharply inhale. Her reactions only fueled me, how far could I take it? What other reactions could I inspire? 

“It- It’s okay.” She stuttered out.

I wasn’t imagining this. I swore I could hear her heart pounding in time with mine, I felt her moving against me.

“Are you ticklish anywhere else?”

I wanted more than I could handle.

“I um- I don’t know.”

“I think you’re lying.” I whispered lowly against her neck, noting the way goosebumps bloomed across her skin.

“No I–“

The slow song ended and she tried to escape my arms, but I tugged her back, caging her back in my arms.

The annoying voice in my head screaming to stop had faded into the recesses of my mind.

I know what I want and I’m gonna take it.

“How about here?” I scrunched the shirt at her waist.

She stifled a giggle. “No- Not there.”

“Hm,” I hummed against her neck, moving down to her hips, again just barely tickling her.

She gasped stifling another laugh, “No, Not ticklish.”

I felt her press her thighs together, squirming against me. She was putty in my hands and fucking loved it.

“Hm. Am I hot or cold?”

“I um- I’m not sure.” She gulped, staying completely still. “Warm.”

“Oh, really?” My lips curled into a smirk against her neck wanting to take a bite. 

But she's not mine to take.

My hands bunched up the hem of the shirt at her hips, then grazing my fingers across her hip bone.

“How about now?”

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, wriggling even more.

“Warmer.”

“Hm.” I meticulously slipped my middle finger beneath the band of her panties, putting extra pressure on my fingertip.

Every molecule in her body stayed completely still.

“And now?”

She pulled her lip between her teeth before answering, her voice so low, “Warmer.” 

“I see.” I went to follow the band across to her front, but she caught my hand.

“Not under.” She whispered.

I retracted from the band, letting it snap against her skin, then trickled my digits slowly over the front of her panties. She didn’t stop me that time.

The roaring fire burning through my hips urged me to be rougher, faster but I knew the stakes of this game and I wasn't going to lose again. I wanted to torture her back, slow painful torture.

My fingers stopped just above her lips, “Now?”

Her breathing was so rapid, barely a full breath making it into her lungs with each inhale. It was like I could feel her body screaming beneath my fingertips, it only made me want more. Each knuckle wanted to bend to her. Every fucking piece of me wanted every piece of her. I wanted to give her something that would haunt her, so when her stupid boyfriends didn’t satisfy her, she’d think about me. So when she'd have to finish herself off she’d think of me, her fingers would desperately move faster and faster imagining they were my own and then she’d cum all by herself, fingers coated in the thought of only me.

“Very warm.” She gulped. 

“Hm.” Middle and ring finger pressed where she wanted me.

“Hot.” She breathed out before I asked again, she was practically vibrating under my touch. A cocky pride washed over me knowing what I was doing to her.

I pressed down further and slowly moved my fingers in circular motions against her covered nub.

A tiny moan escaped her lips, writhing under my touch. My free arm had a firm hold around her waist keeping her still. I had barely just started and I could already sense her beginning to unravel. She must've not been exaggerating when she said no man had ever made her finish. It doesn't take a fuckin' rocket scientist to find a clit. I never understood that anyway, why wouldn't you want this? Why wouldn't you want girls to fall apart in your hands? Sometimes that alone was almost enough to get me off. Almost.

Fingers swirling at the bundle of nerves then moved down. Her panties were soaked, completely utterly drenched.

That was because of me. I did that.

“Aust,” Her hands gripped the arm that was at work, stopping me.

And just like that I let her go.

I didn’t care that she stopped it.

I got the reaction I wanted.

Checkmate. 

Next Chapter: No Touching*

thank you so much for all the love on my account & for anyone reading, liking, reblogging or commenting on the chapters, i appreciate all of it ♡

[cloudycleric]

SORRY SORRY I MEANT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY BUT

happy late valentines!! here's a short byler fic

Will smiled hearing the rocks clang against his window.

He knew who it was of course, it was Mike—his… boyfriend(? He was still trying to figure that out). Will had a crush on him for the past several years of his life, and it was yesterday, February 13th, that he finally gained enough courage to tell him about it. It was a risky move of course, plenty of people in his class were outwardly homophobic and the AIDS crisis was still a huge problem in America. But Will knew that there was something about Mike that made him want to confess. A strange sense of knowing that Mike also had feelings.

And now, Mike Wheeler was Will Byers’ boyfriend (he thought).

Will rushed to his window, leaning over his desk to get a better look at the world outside his room. It was Mike, standing in the same nonchalant way, his bangs swooped in front of his eyes and a big goofy grin on his face. God, I love him. Will tugged on the opening latch of the windowsill, trying to keep his laughter quiet.

“Mike!” He whispered loudly. “What are you doing here? It’s ten o’clock.”

Though Will knew that he would most definitely get in trouble if his mom found out he was having friends sneak in late at night, he still returned a smile to Mike. He’s adorable.

“What, you mean I have to walk home now? Alone on Valentine’s Day?”

Valentine’s Day. Will had totally forgotten. Being alone all these years, pining after Mike, Will had slowly learned to shut out Valentine’s Day from his consciousness. “Okay Romeo, climb up.”

Mike was clumsy as per usual, almost completely knocking over his desk trying to get through the window. Will was always the more agile and stronger one, but it was cute to see Mike do whatever he could for Will.

“I brought you flowers, but um, they got kinda lost when I was riding my bike here, so…”

Will playfully punched Mike’s arm. “You are such a dumbass sometimes.”

“A cute dumbass?”

Will walked back over to his desk, rearranging all of the objects that Mike had pushed over or shoved off the desk completely. As Mike rebutted his remark, Will turned around. “I didn’t say it.”

Tugging at Will’s sleeve, Mike leaned forward on the desk, watching Will clean up. “Wow? Flirting already, Byers?”

Blushing, he looked away. “Shut up, Mike.”

“What? I mean, I can go if you want—”

“No!”

Mike met his gaze.

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

By the time the clock rolled to eleven PM Will was starting to worry. It was getting late, Mike didn’t show any signs of wanting to leave, and honestly, Will didn’t want him to leave. Breaking away from their kiss, Will put a hand on Mike’s chest.

“It’s getting late, Mike.”

“So I’ll just sleep over then?”

Will admired Mike’s energy. His carefree appearance, the fact that he was confident in himself. Will smiled, knowing that being around Mike made him feel that way, too. “Not even going to take me to dinner first?”

He smiled before leaning in to kiss Will’s cheek. “Nope.”

Rolling his eyes, Will couldn’t let Mike go. “Okay, fine. But just for tonight. And you're out first thing tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay,” Mike frowned. “Hey, but, first sleepover with my boyfriend, so that’s cool.”

Boyfriend. Will couldn’t help but kiss Mike again after hearing the words escape his mouth. He felt his stomach turn and his heart skip a beat as he kept on processing what Mike had just said. “Boyfriend,” he said while only inches away from his lips. “You are my boyfriend.”

Soon the lights turned off, and Will was trying to control himself while falling asleep. He was laying right next to Mike, his fucking crush turned boyfriend, sleeping next to him. He had never felt happier in his life. Will was almost too excited to go to bed. He never wanted this moment to end.

Mike, half asleep, moved his arm towards Will. He tugged on his shirt, begging for Will to move closer to him. He wrapped his arm around Will and put his head on his shoulder. “Goodnight.”

Will smiled. “Goodnight.”

if you wanna give me kudos on ao3 maybe....?

[unoriginalmess]

A Second Mask: Chapter 4

Did that just happen?

Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:

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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!

He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.

When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.

The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.

•••

Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.

It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.

Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.

•••

Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.

She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)

She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.

"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.

"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.

When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.

(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)

"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"

At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."

She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."

"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.

"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.

Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"

Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"

On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?

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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.

I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.

As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Taglist

@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu

[firewins-the-fangxrl]

Building Anew

Now that May The 4th Be With You Excange has revealed I’m crossposting my fic! so here’s some fluffy Grogu and Luke bonding! (also can be kinda dinluke if you want)

(link to the fic on ao3 in the notes cause tumblr sucks and will hide posts with links!)

---

In his efforts to rebuild the Jedi order Luke finds himself learning many new things, some were expected such as old Jedi teachings and methods of finding force sensitives, others things he had not expected, such as the favourite colours of his younger students.

"Wait Master Luke, lightsabers can be purple?" a tiny Twi’lek pipes up.

"Yes there's a multitude of different colours that lightsabers can take depending on the users connec-"

"Can they be rainbow? Rainbow is my favorite colour!" comes another voice.

"My favorite is yellow!" from a Nautolan boy.

The ensuing lesson turned into a session of sharing favourite colours. Which, if Luke is being honest, is surprisingly enjoyable.

Teaching turns out to be one of Luke's favourite parts of resurrecting the order. Each of his students is different and helping them find and control their connection to the force is rewarding. The kids are also interesting to talk to, they're happy to tell him, with the honesty and excitement that comes with childhood, about a variety of things from a cool bug they found to what sensing presences in the force feels like.

Luke learns a lot about each of his students, both mundane and not.

Grogu is probably one of the most interesting to communicate with. Luke learns a number of things about Grogu, firstly that the kid has had a long life.

A really long life.

The first time Luke really gets a sense of Grogu's age is a few weeks after he was first brought to the small temple that acted as the youngling teaching quarters. He and Grogu are meditating together when he's hit with a rush of unfamiliar memories.

Huge sprawling temples filled with the bustle of people going about their day. The sound of children playing and distant lightsaber practice. The sight of adults hurrying past, lightsabers strapped to their hips, some with padawans trailing behind trying to keep up.

It takes him a few seconds to piece together that the memories are of the old Jedi order at its height. He turns to observe the small green child, struck by the fact that the people from that memory are probably all long gone.

"You're a lot older than you look, aren't you?" he murmurs quietly.

The child doesn't move, still deep in meditation, so Luke returns to meditating as well. They settle back into peaceful and companionable silence.

The second thing he learns about Grogu is that he loves his dad. Though Luke only met him briefly he can see that they have a strong bond.

Grogu is also more than willing to share stories of his and his dad's adventures with Luke. Every memory Grogu shares is laden with warmth and adoration.

The adventures are also seemingly extremely dangerous, which is how Luke quickly learns fact number three.

Grogu's father is a stone cold badass. From risky rescues snatching Grogu from the clutch of Imperials to killing a fully grown krayt dragon (something he is honestly in awe of) the man seems to be an unstoppable force powered by protective instincts.

As the stories go on Luke starts to wonder if part of the reason Grogu's father is so unstoppable is because he never stops to think anything through.

Of course Luke isn't exactly one to judge since he's nowhere near the picture of restraint himself.

But still, for force sake the man let himself be swallowed whole by a krayt dragon!

Even Luke isn't quite that dumb… well for the part he's not.

Grogu, it seems, has inherited his father's lack of regard for consequences, as he's quite willing to attempt to eat anything without waiting for Luke to check if it's poisonous or not.

However Grogu's favourite foods by far are frogs and cookies. Luke isn't quite sure what those two things have in common but he does know that cookies must be protected from the green bean (especially if they belong to another student) and that most of the frogs on Draay 2 aren't poisonous.

Except for the tiny yellow ones.

Chasing down Grogu to remove frogs from his mouth to scan for edibility becomes a daily struggle.

This is when Luke first realizes that Grogu is a menace.

The child has more chaotic energy than should feasibly fit into such a small being. Most memorably in the lightsaber incident. The less said about that the better but Luke has certainly learnt his lesson about leaving his lightsaber in a place that small green toddlers can reach.

He's glad to still have his legs.

A fact that he has not been at all prepared to learn came during one of Grogu's father's visits. Which was that Din was apparently a king.

Din lands his ship at the small landing platform adjacent to the temple. Grogu is practically vibrating with excitement by the time the loading door opens and the man walks out, beskar armour glinting in the sunlight.

Unlike his previous visits he is flanked by two other Mandalorians, both wearing blue armour.

Din turns to one of the Mandalorians and says something, too low for Luke to overhear at this distance, and the two Mandalorians turn to go back inside the ship.

As Din walks closer, Grogu wriggles free from Luke's arms and runs to his father. Din drops down and scoops the excited child up into his arms. Luke can hear Grogu making excited squeaks as Din murmurs something to the child.

“Who are your friends?” Luke asks as Din walks closer.

“Royal guard.” is Din’s only response.

“Royal guard?”

“I’m technically the Mand’alor”

“Technically?”

“It’s… complicated. I don’t suppose you’d want a second laser sword?”

“Uh, no thank you” Luke says, noticing one of the blue clad guards glaring at him from the ship. Her helmet is off and he can see short red hair and a slightly terrifying expression that reminds him of Leia when some poor soul angers her.

“Yeah that’s probably for the best,” Din says wryly.

The rest of the visit is fairly normal, except for the bodyguards hovering over Din. Luke gets the distinct impression that the guards are more interested in ensuring that Din doesn’t make a run for it than protecting him from danger.

Something he learns after a while is that Grogu has nightmares.

Grogu is more than happy to share snippets of memories and stories about his life before the fall of the old order. However he avoids the topic of the fall itself. Luke doesn’t push Grogu to share anything he’s not comfortable with.

Luke is pretty sure that's what the nightmares are about since Grogu refuses to tell him anything about them.

He’s okay with that. He doesn’t need to know the specifics to comfort the small scared child that comes to him. Luke just holds Grogu and murmurs reassurances.

Sometimes, if it’s really bad they start a holo call to Din, he always answers no matter the time. They stay up late talking about whatever they can think about until Grogu has fallen asleep, comforted by the presence and voice of his father.  

Once when Din is visiting Grogu, Luke wakes to a knock on his door in the middle of the night. He finds a very tired looking Mandalorian carrying Grogu.

“He had a nightmare?” Luke asks.

Din nods clearly suppressing a yawn.

“Come on in. I’ll make some caf.” Luke says, stepping aside.

They stay up talking long after Grogu has fallen asleep, Din tells Luke about the struggles of being a king and Luke shares some stories he’s collected from being a teacher.

He tells Din about the lightsaber incident. Din finds it funny and Luke would probably be more annoyed if the man’s laugh wasn’t so pleasant.

By the time Din leaves, the sun is just starting to crest over the horizon and Luke realizes that he has to go set up for his morning class.

He decides that there are much worse ways to spend the night than with Din and Grogu.

Grogu apparently agrees with him based on the number of crayon drawings he makes of the three of them after that.

Luke is pretty sure Din gets a few of them framed.

[buckyodinson]

A Clan of Three (Mandalorian x fem!Reader)

This is dedicated to @tlittlet​ (hope you don’t mind me tagging you in this) - I saw your post saying:

‘I wish I could read a mando x reader where the reader is all shy but passionate and mando craving for touch. But like, I know I can write it but I don’t want to write it, I want to read it, do you know what I mean? 😫’ and I kinda ran away with it? 

A/N: This is the first thing I’ve written in about a year and a half so it may be a little rusty, and it’s based vaguely on the post mentioned above. I just love Mando a lot right now, and this is the first time in a long time I’ve actually felt compelled to write something, so I hope some people out there can enjoy this, as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Feedback is appreciated!!

Word count: 2.6k

There was a lot left unspoken on the Razor Crest as of late. You’d been travelling with Din and the Child for just over a year now, and barriers had slowly broken down in that time. A lot had been shared between the two of you, but a lot had been kept under wraps on both sides, through fear of rejection. You loved both Din and the Child with every fibre of your being, and it tore you apart trying not to just lay all your cards on the table, but you were terrified the gamble was too risky.

You would often be left on the Crest while Din fetched his latest bounty, staying to watch over the Child and keep him out of harms way. You felt a true maternal instinct, and while watching over the Child while he slept or played with whatever he could get his hands on in the cockpit, your thoughts would drift to the signet on Din’s pauldron - a clan of two - and how desperately you wished to be a clan of three. 

You loved Din. You knew as much. You knew from very early on, after a few weeks of settling into life with the pair of them on the Crest, you knew this was a life you could get used to. And you thanked the Maker that you could spend at least part of your life travelling the galaxy with two who you truly and genuinely loved. You wanted to let him know how you felt, but you knew The Way. And you knew you couldn’t put Din in a situation like that - partly because you didn’t want to disrespect the life he swore to uphold when he swore The Creed, and partly because you were terrified he didn’t feel the same, and he’d drop you off at the next system to avoid the awkwardness that would likely ensue.

So you kept quiet. You would often lie awake at night, thinking of endless scenarios of what life would be like if he knew. If he felt the same. If he took his helmet off, abandoning his bounty hunting life to settle down on a planet somewhere in the outer rim, just the three of you. A clan of three. There goes that thought again, and just as quickly as it enters your mind, it’s snatched away when you scold yourself for getting carried away. You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, and you know it, but you’re too far gone to care.

Unbeknownst to you, Din would also often lie awake in the safe confines of his quarters, with his helmet removed, wondering how the soft touch of your hands would feel on his face. How your lips would fit against his. How perfect your body would slot into his as you laid together, your head tucked into the crook of his neck. These ephemeral thoughts calmed him after a long day, but they also brought pangs of sadness, knowing that they were only his imagination. She’d never feel the same. After all, how could she? All she’s ever known is the cold, unforgiving glare of Beskar. She’s never seen the longing on his face when she’s idly hanging up a small decoration she bought at a market, his mind racing at the thought of a domestic life with her. Nor had she seen the soft smile he can’t seem to shake when he catches her playing or chatting away with the Child.

He craved her touch. He’s only felt it in fleeting moments. Usually when one of them is badly injured after a particularly nasty run-in with a bounty. On many occasions, he’s been badly hit with a blaster in places he can’t patch up himself, and she silently reaches for the med-kit and beckons for him to sit with her. She removes his Beskar so softly, as if it isn’t one of the toughest materials around, and it makes his heart ache. She works mostly in silence, other than to ask him if it’s okay to lift his undershirt. She always asks. She doesn’t have to, and she knows, he’s told her so many times. But still she does. And that longing creeps into his entire body every time, knowing she truly respects his way of life.

When she works, her delicate hands clean the injury with feather-light touches, using a bacta spray to help with further healing, before applying a bandage. Even these light touches cause shivers to run up Din’s spine, and he knows it’s a ridiculous reaction to have, given the circumstances, but nobody has ever been so gentle with him. Nobody has ever taken the time to make sure he is okay. Once, he was so exhausted from a fight with a bounty that ended badly, that after he’d taken all his armour off, dropped it to the floor, and let you tend to his wounds, he’d fallen asleep where he’d been sat, in the hull of the ship. When he woke, he found a blanket draped over him, and all his armour was neatly arranged on the nearby shelves, seemingly having been polished. He was speechless. It was such a sweet gesture on your behalf, he didn’t know how to react. He wished he knew how to thank you for all you did for him. But he just didn’t know how.

When you helped with his injuries, you never failed to notice the almost imperceptible hitches in his breath, and small sighs he let out as you worked. You never questioned them, but they made you wonder when the last time he was ever touched by another person. If he had been touched by another person since he swore the Creed, and vowed to live his life shielded from the world.

The day came when things left unspoken finally bubbled to the surface. Din had been out looking for a bounty, and had been gone for several days. You grew worried very quickly, as even the toughest of jobs brought him back to the Crest within a day or two. But it was four days since you’d last seen or heard from him. The Child was beginning to grow restless, being cooped up in the ship. You spent most of your time pacing the cockpit, trying to contact him, to no avail. You knew it was dangerous to leave the ship, and leave the Child unattended, so you had to settle for staying in the Crest and praying to the Maker that you’d see him emerge from the tree-line any minute.

You slept very lightly while Din was away, any and every noise rousing you, hoping it was the ramp lowering, and Din coming back. After five days of nothing, you finally heard that familiar hiss of the ramp to the Crest opening, and you all but sprinted from your cot to the ramp. You were ecstatic that he had returned, but also terrified at what state he may be in. You were right to feel this way, because once the ramp lowered and you caught a glimpse at him, you knew he was in trouble. He was leaning heavily on his left leg, and you ran down the ramp before he all but collapsed into your arms. You made quick work of dragging him into the ship and closing the ramp door.

You set him on the floor and made quick work of removing his armour, disregarding your usual tentative movements. The more armour you removed, the more blood and grime you noticed on his underclothes, and the sight made you gasp.

You spoke softly but with a sense of urgency, “Din… I’m going to take your underclothes off. Is that okay?”

You received no reply.

“Din? Can you hear me?” You tried again, but to no avail. You reached one hand under his neck to support it while you reached your other under his jaw, and could still feel a strong pulse, which calmed your nerves ever so slightly. But upon pulling your hand other hand back to rest his head on the ground, you noticed your hand was covered in blood. You began to really panic now, not knowing how to proceed with the situation. He needed serious medical attention, but you didn’t want to overstep the clear boundaries he lived by.

You knew his safety came first, but you also didn’t want to jeopardise his religion and risk him never being able to put the helmet back on again. So you removed his underclothes and got to work on all the injuries on his body first. His chest rising and falling as you worked comforted you by a fraction, but the lack of sighs and grunts made you acutely aware that his head injury needed treating soon.

You quickly disappeared to your room and ripped a strip of fabric from the bottom of your blanket before coming back and dropping onto your knees by Din’s side yet again. You gathered all the materials you needed before securing the fabric around your eyes and tying it in the back of your head. You took a deep breath before reaching for Din’s helmet. You pressed a switch, and heard the hiss as you slowly lifted it from his head and placed it softly on the ground next to you.

You lifted him slightly and stuck a leg out underneath his shoulders, so you could feel the back of his head and assess the injury. You located to wound fairly easily, and while it wasn’t large, it was bleeding a lot, so you applied a bacta spray to it after wiping his hair first. You tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you ran your hands through his hair. You slowly felt his face using the hand not covered in blood, checking for any smaller injuries that may be there. You found nothing, and rested your hand on his cheek while you sighed, hoping you’d done enough for the meantime. You were shocked when you felt Din’s hand cover yours, and you immediately went to pull your hand away but his grip tightened.

He cleared his throat and croaked out a small “Thank you”. You smiled at his unfiltered voice, the first time you’d ever heard it. And while it was barely there, and scratchy, after all he’d been through, it was still him, and you couldn’t help but feel lucky to have heard it in all it’s beauty.

“It’s okay… I could probably do a better job of it, but with the blindfold, there’s only so much I can-“

“Take it off..” he whispered, and you flinched back in shock, not knowing if you heard him correctly.

After a beat of silence, his hand came up to rest on your cheek, mirroring your actions, and he slowly lifted the material covering your eyes. He chuckled and coughed a little when he noticed your eyes screwed shut. He came to rest his hand on your cheek again, the unfamiliar feel of his skin warm against yours, as his thumb moved slowly across your cheekbone. “You can open your eyes, cyar’ika… it’s okay.”

You slowly obliged, and you were completely taken aback by his features. His soft brown eyes looked up at you, and despite the pain that must be coursing through his body, he was smiling at you. You took notice of his curly brown locks, some of which were stuck to his forehead. You brushed them away, before running your fingers down his hooked nose, to rest on his lips, where he lightly kissed your fingertips. Before you knew it, tears were falling from your eyes, and his face contorted into one of concern.

“I’m sorry, Din.” You breathed out as he swiped his thumb under your eye.

“What do you have to be sorry for, mesh’la?” He spoke, his voice a little stronger now.

“The Creed. I’ve seen your face. You can’t go back now. I’m so sorry.” You hung your head, and felt him slowly manoeuvre himself to sit up in front of you.

“What if I don’t want to go back?” He all but whispered, lifting your chin.

You met his gaze again and was frozen in place as he lent towards you and slowly brought your lips to his. You barely had time to react before he pulled away, your lips almost chasing his as he smiled against you.

“I’ve been thinking for a long while now, about you… about us. I get this unfamiliar feeling deep inside me when I think of you. When I see you with the Child. At first I dismissed it, thinking that was just how it felt to finally have a real friend. But then I would get worried sick when I was out looking for bounties... worried about you. Worried that something would happen to you here in the Crest and I’d be none the wiser. Then I realised. It was love.” He fell into silence, and you both sat there for what felt like an eternity, comfortable to just be there with each other, no more words needing to be exchanged.

He finally spoke up again, “I never acted on it, always telling myself ‘This is the way’. Telling myself this is the life I was born to live, it’s not fair to drag you into it. I never thought, for a second, that you could feel the same. But seeing you now, scared that I might be dying, but still blindfolding yourself to respect the Creed… that was all the confirmation I needed. Tell me I’m right?” He pulled away slightly to look in your eyes, and you saw tears brimming in his.

You nodded, not trusting your voice, before leaning in to kiss him back. Your lips touched, and in this kiss, you felt everything that had gone unspoken this past year. You broke apart and whispered against his lips, “I’ve always loved you Din.”

He whispered something back in Mando’a, and while you didn’t understand it, you’re sure you knew what he meant. You leaned back to look at him once more, and as you brushed his hair from his face, he winced slightly. His injuries dawned on you again, and you slowly rose, helping him to his cot. You fetched him a glass of water, something to dull the pain, and something to eat, and out of habit, started to leave, when he grabbed your wrist and silently pleaded with you to stay. He moved to lay on his side and you joined him in his cot, resting your back against his chest. He closed his eyes, and couldn’t quite believe you were here in his cot, laying pressed against him, like he dreamed of not long ago. He remembers a time when he would chastise himself for thinking you would ever feel this way, and yet here you were.

The door to his quarters opened with a hiss and the Child moved slowly over to the bed, looking at the pair of you with his wide eyes. You leaned down to pick him up and place him against your chest, where he promptly fell asleep. Din wrapped his arm around both you and the Child and held you both securely as he drifted off. You stayed awake a little while longer, just laying there smiling to yourself. As sleep finally consumed you, only one thought danced in your mind, you were finally a clan of three.

[bethpeaches123]

Oh, it’s you.

So I had an idea rolling around in my brain for a little while, and then a real-life situation presented itself that was eerily similar to this, and instead of acting on it in real life, I’m acting on it in fanfiction form. Because it’s less risky, ha. Here’s some enemies to friends to luvers. I’ve also posted it on AO3 for your reading pleasure. :) Enjoy! I would love some feedback too!

“Thanks,” said Katniss Everdeen briskly to the Uber driver in the front seat of the red Corolla. He grunted his acknowledgement in response as her hand grasped the door handle and pushed the rear passenger-side door open, swinging her slender legs out onto the sidewalk. She leaned back into the car and grabbed the bottle of wine off the seat, then ducked out and straightened up, slamming the car door closed as it drove off.

Turning to face the towering brick townhouse belonging to her cousin Gale and her childhood best friend Madge, Katniss squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to stay all night. Just a couple of hours,” she muttered to herself. “That’s like…four half-hours. Or...six twenty-minute periods…or 12 ten-minute chunks…or…anyway, whatever. Just do it. It’s Madge’s birthday, she wants you to be here, just suck it up.”

The night wind suddenly swelled, a gust whooshing past her, stirring up a pile of dead brown leaves around her feet that had fallen from the maple tree on their tiny front lawn. She realized with a start that she probably looks a little crazy to any onlookers, standing on the sidewalk in front of a picturesque townhouse after dark, staring up at it and muttering irritatedly to herself.

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “You’ve gotta get out more, you’re losing it being alone in that apartment all the time,” she muttered again, before stopping and shaking her head. You’re doing it again; quit talking to yourself already and just go inside, she thought.

She adjusted the crossbody strap of her clutch (the bright gold colour was out of character for her, but it was a gift from her sister and the nicest purse she owned) and curled the loose strands of dark chocolate hair that had slipped free from her side braid behind her ears. Smoothing her forest green shirt dress down over her slim frame, she tweaked the braided brown leather belt around her waist and absently brushed a piece of lint from the right thigh of her black tights, glancing down at her camel-coloured heeled booties.

She wasn’t entirely sure of the dress code of the evening, but at twenty-five, they were still at that age of being grownups, but not totally grownups, if that made sense; they were old enough to legally drink the copious amounts of liquor they downed at one of Gale and Madge’s house parties, but they were still young enough to thankfully not feel the full force of a crippling hangover the next day.

Hopefully this looks okay, she thought. Who are you trying to impress anyway? Stop. Stalling, she grumbled internally.

Irritated was her mood of the night and the night was only just beginning.

Clutching the bottle of wine with the golden bow on the neck, she pulled open the wrought-iron gate and proceeded up the short staircase to the house.

Leaning over and pressing the doorbell off to the right of the heavy black door, she glanced up at the night sky over her left shoulder and her eyes flickered to the wind blowing in the trees again. It was a warm night for the end of October – so warm she’d left her jacket at home and opted for just the long-sleeved dress. It wasn’t like she was walking anywhere. She’d take an Uber home later.

Katniss could hear the sounds of an upbeat indie tune floating through the open living room bay window off to the left. Her eyes flicked back to the front just in time to hear a voice on the other side of the door, where it swung open to reveal the guest of honour for the evening.

“Katniss! Hey! God, I’m so glad you’re here – Gale was wondering when you were going to show. Now maybe he’ll finally shut up,” said Madge, her smile spreading across her face and reaching her arms out to hug her best friend.

“Sorry I’m late,” said Katniss sheepishly, squeezing her back. “Carl the Uber driver wasn’t as prompt as the app said he’d be. He won’t be getting five stars from me tonight.”

Madge’s grin grew. “No matter – you’re here now, that’s what counts,” replied the pretty blonde. Her eyes softened as she looked at her old friend, hesitating. “How are you doing? How’s…everything? After…everything last week?”

“I’m okay. Really. It’s getting better every day.” Katniss said, quietly. She really didn’t want to go into details right here, right now. Or ever. The evening was supposed to be a happy occasion, for Madge. Katniss didn’t want to get into the depressing details of the collapse of her relationship with her long-time boyfriend Darius a few weeks before and the messy division of their things when he moved out of their shared apartment.

“Good, I’m glad to hear that...listen, I know it’s not the time or place, so I won’t pry, but please, let’s go for coffee again this week. You can bitch all you want about how much of a douchebag he is, and I’ll happily reassure you how you’re so much better without him,” said the birthday girl wryly.

“Deal,” replied Katniss, a small smile on her lips. “Here – this is for you,” holding up the bottle of Nova 7 that she knew Madge loved. “I know technically I should’ve gotten you champagne for your champagne birthday, but I thought you’d like this more.”

“Oh my God you’re my favourite person, you know that, right?” squealed Madge. “I mean, besides Gale, but whatever – where did you get this?! I’ve been trying all the liquor stores around town and they said they haven’t gotten a shipment in ages!”

“I had it specially ordered from their website! I’m glad you’re happy – I love you, but I’m never going through that hassle again. Customs are a bitch,” grimaced Katniss. Getting the white wine shipped from Canada seemed a bit much, but 25 was a big birthday and Madge had been Katniss’s best friend ever since they’d been paired together in Mr. Heffernan’s English Lit class in sixth grade. She deserved to be on the receiving end of a splurge.

“Well, you and I are going to drink this together tonight – no one else gets a drop,” beamed Madge. “Come on, I’ll stick it in the back of the fridge so no one can get at it before we do.”

She stepped over the threshold into the front porch and started to toe off her booties when Madge glanced down and stopped her. “No, no, leave them on, they’re part of your whole outfit. You look really good tonight, by the way,” she said, appraisingly. “I mean, not that you don’t usually, but, y’know, dresses are kinda rare for you. I’m babbling. Ignore me. It’s the wine. Come get a glass or three and start drinking with me please,” pleaded Madge as she turned back towards the kitchen down the hall and spotted her new husband. “Gale! Gale, Katniss is here! Get her a glass of Riesling, ASAP!”

“Hey Catnip! Good to see you – finally,” smirked Gale as he strode down the front hall towards them, but Katniss could see gentle concern in his eyes. He didn’t think you’d show, she thought to herself. She mentally huffed at her cousin.

“Obviously I’m here, it’s not like I’d miss my best friend’s birthday,” she said, somewhat shortly.

“Oh – of course not, I know that, I j-just...anyway, I’m glad you’re here. There’s a taco dip with your name on it so I hope you came hungry,” her older cousin stammered, glancing at his wife for reinforcement.

Both he and Madge seemed a little on edge at her presence, like they were afraid anything they’d say would set her off in some way. She knew they were only worried about her since the breakup, but it still irritated her to think that their shared glances probably meant they’d been talking about her before she’d shown up. Katniss hated being the centre of anyone’s attention or gossip.

It’s not gossip; they’re concerned about you because they love you, Prim’s voice popped in her head. Her younger sister was always her voice of reason and regularly called her out when she got in her own head and complained about people being interested in her personal life. With Prim on the other side of the country in medical school at Stanford though, she wasn’t here in person to call her out. But Katniss knew her as well as she knew herself, and knew it was exactly what Prim would say in this situation.

Steeling herself and wiping the scowl off her face, Katniss offered Gale a small, embarrassed smile and said, “I was really hoping you’d make your famous taco dip. I skipped dinner specifically for it.”

A flicker of relief passed over his face and Gale turned and gestured for her to follow him towards the dining room down the hall as Madge returned to the living room filled with guests. “I even covered it in extra shredded old cheddar, your favourite,” he grinned.

“Mmmm, hell yes. Where are the chips? I’m digging in right away,” she said eagerly, following behind him.

As they bypassed the living room and entered the dining room, she glanced back towards the front of the house and scanned the crowd. There was already a decent number of people here, some faces she recognized like old college pals Rue, Thom and Thresh, but others she’d never seen before. Gale’s work friends, probably, she thought absently.

“Is Joanna coming?” Katniss asked, turning her attention back towards the spread of food. “I haven’t talked to her all week. I meant to text her earlier, but I forgot.”

“Yep, she said she’s coming by once she’s finished at the office. Some big case she’s working on or something,” Gale replied. “Let me get you that Riesling, I’ll be right back,” as he turned towards the kitchen, leaving her to focus on the food. Grabbing a plate from the stack off to the left, she started piling taco dip onto it, her mouth watering in anticipation.

“Yeesh, Everdeen – leave some for the rest of us, why don’t you?” drawled a familiar voice.

Oh no. Not him, she groaned inwardly, the flush of annoyance rising up her neck and spreading across her face. She stiffened as she heard him chuckle softly and reluctantly turned to face the speaker.

“Oh, it’s you. Hello Peeta,” she said politely. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Why? Obviously I’d come to celebrate Madge. Besides, would you have stayed home and not graced us with your presence had you’d known?” Peeta smirked.

“Hmm, something like that,” she replied, pursing her lips before continuing reluctantly. “How are you? How are Delly and Connor? He must be, what, three now?” enquiring after his wife and son.

“…Yeah, he’s three now. Three and a half, actually, as he’ll tell you. Time flies when you’re having fun,” Peeta replied grimly, averting his eyes from her face. Confused at his response, Katniss was saved from having to reply by Gale appearing to their sides with her glass of wine.

“One Riesling for the lady. Hey Peeta, what can I get you? Beer? Liquor? Something to wipe that sour expression off your face?” asked Gale, wryly.

“Beer is fine, thanks Gale,” the wavy-haired blond replied. “I have to have something that’ll help wash down this taco dip, if Katniss doesn’t eat it all first.”

Katniss scowled at him. “Chill out, Mellark, there’s plenty there. I barely took any,” she retorted. Grabbing her plate and piling on a handful of nacho chips quickly, she turned and carried the plate and her glass of wine away from the irritating man before he could respond. Fuck, he’s such a dick, she stewed. Why does he have to be related to Madge?

Peeta Mellark and Madge Undersee-Hawthorne were indeed cousins, but he was also a former classmate of theirs from junior high and high school. It wasn’t like he and Katniss were friends though – they couldn’t have been further from that. Complete opposites throughout their early days, Peeta was a popular jock who seemed to get along with everyone. Everyone except quiet, kept-to-herself Katniss.

She had no idea why he never warmed to her – she’d sometimes catch him staring at her across the classroom or in the hallways, but he rarely spoke to her throughout their academic careers. She’d usually shoot him a puzzled look in return, because that’s exactly what he did to her – puzzled her.

Stupid Peeta Mellark. Why did he have to be here? And where was his wife, Delly? Katniss hadn’t laid eyes on the blonde bitch yet, but she was sure she’d know when she entered the room because the temperature would probably drop to below freezing, just like Delly’s chilly demeanour.

Katniss was never friends with Peeta, but she never understood what he saw in Delly. What was the title of that book she’d seen in Barnes & Noble one time? Why Men Marry Bitches? Maybe someone should’ve picked up a copy for Peeta Mellark because he could use some psychoanalysis as to why he married someone so horrible. Though, considering what she’d heard about the elder Mrs. Mellark while in school, maybe someone should pick up a book called Why Men Marry Their Mothers for him instead.

She moved through the crowd towards Rue and Thresh, when a flash of short brown hair caught her eye in the main hallway. “Jo! In here!” she waved to the petite brunette in a black pencil skirt and crisp white collared shirt. Johanna was her and Madge’s former college roommate-turned-other-best-friend who was currently kicking ass working at the hottest law firm in the city. She was fresh out of law school and had to article for a year before she could pass the bar and be a full lawyer, but the partners at her firm were already so impressed by her drive and her no-holds-barred attitude, they’d already offered her a position once she’d passed the bar in a few months’ time.

“Hey Kitty-cat, how goes it?” said Johanna, snaking her arm around Katniss’ shoulders in a side hug. “Ooh, gimmie that, I earned a big drink after the freakin’ day I’ve had,” pulling the glass of wine from her friend’s hand and taking a big gulp, then grimacing. “Ugh, never mind, I forgot you like girly drinks. I need something harder tonight.”

“Wine is sophisticated, thank you very much. Rough day?” Katniss asked sympathetically, taking the glass back and swallowing a mouthful of the cold, sweet liquid.

“Fuck me, it was brutal. This lawsuit is gonna be the death of me and I’m not even a lawyer yet,” Johanna groaned. “If I have to read through one more brief, I’m gonna stab my eyeballs out and shove them down the managing partner’s throat.”

“Graphic, but okay, sure,” winced Katniss. Jo was never one to hold back with her…colourful language. “Here comes Gale – give him your drink order, he’ll get you sorted.”

“Hey Jo, want a whiskey?” asked Gale as he approached, sizing up the brunette’s irritated expression.

“You read my mind, Hawthorne. Make it a triple? Or will we all judge me?” Jo drawled, glancing at her friends.

“Nah, the night is young. We’re celebrating!” Gale grinned. “ice, right?”

“Yep, thanks. So, Kitty, how are you? Finally feeling free of that douche canoe, Darius? Jesus, I’m so glad that’s finally over. You were way too good for him.”

“I can always count on you to not mince words. Jesus,” Katniss shot back. She knew Johanna hadn’t been Darius’s biggest fan, but now that they were broken up, she didn’t hold back on voicing her dislike of him.

“Well, at least you didn’t marry him. Divorces are messy. Though, you would’ve had me as your lawyer and I would’ve milked that fucker for everything he had, so maybe it’s a bit of a loss. I would’ve enjoyed that,” smirked Jo.

“God, you’re unbelievable,” sighed Katniss, but she said it with a small smile. Even though her bark was bad, Jo’s bite wasn’t. Katniss knew it was her friend’s way of showing concern and care for her.

“Whatever, you know you love me. Hey, is that Peeta? I saw his bitchy wife when I came in but didn’t see him,” Johanna said, gazing towards the dining room.

“Ugh, yes. What a tool. I was barely in the room when he started harassing me about taking too much taco dip. I’m pretty sure every one of our friends knows that taco dip was made with me in mind – Gale knows it’s my favourite.” Katniss grumbled.

“Well, maybe he needs a reminder. You can tell him yourself, because he’s headed this way.”

“Ugh, fuck me.” Katniss groaned, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Sorry Everdeen, I’m a married man,” smirked Peeta, coming up behind her, a bottle of Stella Artois in his grasp.

Katniss flushed at his response, while Johanna smiled blandly at the young man. “I wonder for how much longer,” she muttered under her breath so that only Katniss could hear. Katniss’s brow furrowed at the comment, but brushed it off. Odd.

“Ah, Peeta. Everyone’s favourite prick,” smirked Johanna as she raised her voice, her eyes flicking between Katniss and the tall, brawny blond.

Katniss snorted. “What a lovely description, Jo. Very flattering.”

Peeta shot Katniss an irritated look before turning back to Johanna. “Nice to see you too, Jo. How’s life at your hot shot firm? Madge tells me your bosses love you.”

“Yeah, I think it’s more so that they’re afraid of me. Which I’m fine with. Men need intimidation a lot more than they realize.” Johanna replied, smugly.

“Well, you’ve got that covered then,” Katniss piped up.

“Speaking of intimidating women, Mellark, where’s your wife? Still got your balls in a vise or what?”

“Jo! Jesus.” Katniss blurted, her eyes wide and flickering to Peeta to gage his reaction. She didn’t like Peeta, but she also didn’t like awkward conversations about people’s relationships. Or any kind of conversation about relationships.

Peeta stiffened slightly at Joanna’s remark and drew his mouth in a thin line. “She’s over there talking to some co-worker of Gale’s. She’s fine.”

“Really? That’s not what Madge sa-,”

“Jo, I think Gale is waving at you – he’s got your whiskey,” Katniss interrupted. If there was one thing that could shut Johanna up, it was the promise of liquor.

“Finally, be right back,” Johanna threw over her shoulder as she strode towards Gale in the dining room.

Peeta glanced at Katniss, a slight frown on his face, which she ignored. She was eager to move away from the subject of his wife. “How’s Connor? How old did you say he was again?” she asked, nervously. She realized too late that by drawing Johanna’s attention to Gale and her drink, she was leaving herself alone with the person she despised the most at the party. Great. Just when I thought I’d escaped him, I land myself in another conversation with him. Good one, Everdeen.

“…Um…he’s three and a half…what was Johanna talking about? What did Madge say about Delly?”

Katniss pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it, stalling. “Oh, nothing. She just…she said Delly seemed a little off lately, that’s all. I think she was concerned.”

Peeta snorted. “Concerned. Sure she was. You’re a terrible liar, Everdeen,” he said, bitterly.

Katniss glanced at him again, thinking awkwardly about the conversation she’d had with Madge the week before. Madge had made a passing comment to her and Jo about Delly being bitchier than usual and said Peeta seemed withdrawn and moody. It wasn’t really Delly she was concerned about; it was her cousin. Peeta wasn’t a bitter person. But ever since he and Delly married a few months before Connor’s birth, almost four years ago, they’d all seen a shift in him. He was friendly to everyone (except Katniss, of course) but there was an edge to him that hadn’t been there before. It seemed to be getting more and more pronounced as time went on.

Why do you care if he’s out of sorts? She didn’t, really. She was just curious. Even though he wasn’t nice to her, he was generally nice to everyone else, so to see him so bitter confused Katniss. Not that she cared, though. Because she didn’t. Really.

“Yeah, well, ask her yourself then. Excuse me, I need a refill.” Katniss said shortly, turning and leaving him alone for the second time that night.

_________________________________

The night wore on, with Katniss managing to avoid Peeta for the most part, sticking to chatting with Johanna or Madge or one of their other college friends. When she noticed Madge’s wine glass empty at the same time as hers as they were both pleasantly buzzed, she said, smiling, “what do you think, Mrs. Hawthorne? Time to crack open the Nova?”

“Excellent idea, Ms. Everdeen. Would you do the honours?” beamed Madge, her eyes a little glassy by now. The two of them made their way to the kitchen, where a few other people were already gathered, chatting. Katniss pulled open the refrigerator door and poked her head in, searching for the bottle of imported wine, but didn’t see it.

“Where’d you put it, Madge? Did you forget to put it in?” she asked.

“No, it’s in there, I swear – you know I love it super cold.” Madge replied breezily.

“What are you looking for?” asked another voice.

“A bottle of wine I brought for Madge– ” started Katniss, turning around and stopping, her eyes on Peeta Mellark.

And the bottle of Nova 7.

The empty bottle of Nova 7.

“…what the fuck. Are you KIDDING me right now? Did you open and DRINK that?!” Katniss screeched. “Are you actually kidding me?? Fuck you, Mellark!! Do you know what I went through to get that for her?!” She could feel hot tears forming in her eyes, catching her off guard.

Peeta had started to smirk, but when he saw her face, he faltered and his mouth dropped open slightly. “I didn’t–I thought–Gale said there was white wine in–we didn’t–” he stammered, his eyes darting to his wife’s, then back to Katniss's. Katniss hadn’t noticed Delly off to the side, her hand clutching an almost empty wine glass.

“What’s the big deal, it’s just a bottle of wine, there’s plenty here,” said the blonde woman testily as she rolled her eyes. “Personally, I never saw the appeal of Canadian wines. There are so many better brands from Australia or Spain. Canada’s not even that foreign; they’re like, right next door.”

Madge groaned and launched into Delly and Peeta, shouting about the importance of the special birthday gift to the oblivious couple. Katniss tuned her out as she could feel the heat rising in her neck up through her face. She was already having a shitty day moping over Darius and didn’t even want to come to the party in the first place; she definitely didn’t want to have to deal with stupid Peeta Mellark and his stupid bitch wife; and the only thing she’d been looking forward to was sharing the bottle with her best friend.

And the two of them had ruined it.

She had to get out of there before the tears spilled over and she embarrassed herself in front of them. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[jigokusaito]

きさらぎ駅

KISARAGI STATION

One of my favorite stories on the net, the story of Kisaragi Station is a chilling tale from 2chan of things that shouldn’t be. Now, I’m just copying and pasting this one from here, as the story itself is pretty straightforward. That being said, let’s begin:

Hasumi It might just be my imagination, but do you mind if I talk about something?

2chan Sure, go ahead. What happened?

Hasumi I just got on the train, but something’s off.

2chan Okay.

Hasumi It’s the train I always take to and from work, but it hasn’t stopped at any stations for about 20 minutes now. It always stops every five minutes, or at most every seven or eight, but it hasn’t stopped at all. There are currently five other people on board, but they’re all asleep.

2chan You haven’t gotten off the train yet, have you? You didn’t get on the express by mistake?

Hasumi Yeah, like you said, it’s possible I got on the wrong train. I’ll wait it out just a little longer. If anything else weird happens, I’ll come back again.

2chan First of all, why don’t you go to the front carriage and see the conductor? If he had an epileptic fit or something that would be terrible. Go and check on him!

Hasumi It still doesn’t look like we’re going to stop anywhere, so I’ll go and have a look.

The blinds or something are covering the window, so I can’t see the driver. I’m on a private railway in Shizuoka Prefecture.

2chan Did you knock on the window?

Hasumi I did, but there was no answer.

2chan Can you see outside? Can you see the names of passing stations or anything?

Hasumi After leaving the tunnel the train has started to slow down a little. We don’t usually pass through a tunnel though. It’s the train from Shin-Hamamatsu Station.

It looks like we’re about to stop.

2chan You’re not gonna get off, are you?

Hasumi We’re stopped at Kisaragi Station, but I wonder if I should get off? I’ve never seen or heard of this station before.

2chan You should get off.

No, you should stay on until the last stop.

I mean, the train should’ve started moving again by now, shouldn’t it?

Hasumi, what time did you get on the train?

Hasumi I got off. The station is empty. I got on the train around 11.40 pm, I think.

2chan I did a search for Kisaragi Station, but nothing came up… And hang on, your train’s been running for an hour now? Alright, I’m off to take a bath.

I looked for Kisaragi Station as well, but there’s nothing here.

Hasumi I think I should go back. I’ve been looking for a timetable but I can’t find anything. The train is still stopped so I wonder if it would be safer to just get back on? Well, while I was writing that I already got back on board.

2chan Are there any buildings nearby that look like they might have people? It’s cold out there, so be careful.

Hasumi I’m gonna leave the station and see if I can find a taxi. Thanks.

2chan That’s a good idea. Be careful.

I’m doubtful that you’ll easily be able to find a taxi at an empty station after the last trains have already run.

And it looks like Hasumi’s become a resident of the 2D world.

Hasumi There’s nothing here, let alone a taxi. What should I do?

2chan Go see the station attendant or a nearby police box!

Shouldn’t you call 110 for now?

Why don’t you call the taxi company?

All you can do at this point is go to the nearest convenience store.

If there’s a public phone nearby, you should look up the number of the taxi company and give them a call.

Hasumi I call my parents to come and pick me up but they don’t know where Kisaragi Station is. They said they’d look it up on the map and then come to get me, but I’m kinda scared.

2chan What happened to the others on the train? Were you the only one who got off?

Hasumi, I also tried to find Kisaragi Station on the internet, but there’s nothing here. You said you were near the Shin-Hamamatsu area, right? I’ll see if I can find anything on Yahoo.

Hasumi I went to look for a public phone but there aren’t any. The other passengers didn’t get off, so I’m alone right now. The station name is most definitely Kisaragi Station.

2chan There’s a chance you’ll find a public phone off the station grounds.

Why don’t you try leaving the station?

I just did a bit of investigating right now, and the kanji for ‘oni’ (demon) can also be read as ‘kisaragi,’ right…?

So you mean ‘Demon Station’…? That’s terrifying.

Are you a video game nerd? When I googled it, I found a video game.

Write down the previous and next stations from Kisaragi Station. Don’t say there’s nothing written there.

Hasumi What game are you talking about? There are no previous or next stations written here.

2chan Try walking back home along the tracks.

If you start running now, you can probably catch up with the train!

It’s a station, so there has to be people living around there.

Hasumi Yeah, that’s right. I was panicking, so I didn’t even notice. I’ll follow the tracks back and wait for my parents to call. I tried looking before in the Town Information part of I Mode in my phone, but it came up with some kind of error. I just wanna go home.

2chan Whether it’s a joke or not, I’m gonna work towards solving this seriously.

Hasumi There really is nothing around here. All I can see are grasslands and mountains. But if I follow the railway tracks, I think I can get home, so I’ll do my best. Thank you. You might think it’s all just one big joke, but can I come back if I run into any other problems?

2chan Of course. At any rate, take care.

Of course. Just be careful your phone doesn’t die. It’s your lifeline right now.

Don’t start walking in the wrong direction. And be careful inside the tunnel.

Can a phone even get reception in an area with nothing around? I think it would be better if you don’t move from the station…

All alone at an unmanned station on a cold night. The lights will probably turn off soon and it’ll be dark.

The railway tracks are an even darker trap. There’s a tunnel after that too, right?

And yet, it would probably be safer to spend the night at the station…

This is terribly risky.

Hasumi My father called. He had a lot of questions, but in the end we have no idea where I am, so he told me to call 110. I don’t really want to, but I’m going to give the police a call and see if they can help me…

2chan I think it would be easier for you to move around once it gets brighter…

Could you really wait there all alone at night? In some strange, unfamiliar place…

Could you pass through the tunnel all alone at night? On some strange, unfamiliar railway track…

So could you keep walking through some unfamiliar street at night in the cold?

Hasumi I tried explaining my situation the best I could to the police, but they thought it was a joke and got angry at me. I was so scared that I ended up apologising to them…

2chan Why did you apologise? You should call it a night. Go wait at the station for the first train.

What’s it like around the station? Is there anything there?

Hasumi I can hear what sounds like the beating of drums coming from far away, mixed with the sound of a ringing bell. Honestly, I don’t know what I should do anymore.

2chan Hasumi, you need to get back to the station. It’s best to return to where you were in the first place when you get lost.

It’s about to start…

Drums and bells…?

It’s probably just a festival.

Hasumi You might think I’m lying, but I’m so scared, I can’t look back. I wanna go back to the station, but I can’t turn back.

2chan Run. Whatever you do, don’t look back.

You can’t look back at the station! You’ll be taken away. Just run towards the tunnel, right now! It should be closer than you think.

Hasumi Someone just yelled out from behind me. “Hey, you can’t walk along the railway track, it’s dangerous!” I thought it might be the station attendant, so I turned around, and about 10 metres away there was the old guy with one leg standing there. Then he disappeared. I’m so scared, I can’t move.

2chan I said don’t look back. Just run.

Calm down and listen to what I have to say. Try going towards the sound of the drums. There should be people there.

Just where are you trying to send Hasumi?

That’s not it at all, Hasumi is about to be taken away. That’s why I’m saying, if she can, she should go back.

How come you could you tell it was an old guy with just one leg?

…because it’s an old guy with just one leg?

It’s probably some guy that was hit by a train and lost his leg and then died.

Hasumi I can’t walk anymore, but I also can’t run. The sound of the drums is getting closer.

2chan Just wait for morning. Once it gets brighter, it won’t be so scary.

You should have gotten back on the train.

Hasumi I’m still alive. I fell over and I’m bleeding, but I’m still holding onto the heel I broke. I don’t want to die yet.

2chan Well, it’s not like things were going to get better if you stayed in the one spot, anyway.

I think you’ll be fine if you can get through the tunnel, anyhow. When you pass through, let us know and get some help.

Hasumi I called home. My dad said he’d call the police for me, but the sound is getting closer and closer.

2chan Well, let’s just pray that sound isn’t the sound of an approaching train. Having said that, it’s probably too late for that now.

Hasumi I did my best and I’m somehow in front of the tunnel now. The name says Isanuki. The sound is getting closer, so I’m gonna gather up all my courage and try to get through. I’ll post again once I get through safely.

2chan Good luck.

This is the end. The train and the station are gone. You can’t go back. There’s no-one to follow. The sound you hear is a phantom of your own past. Run towards the tunnel. If you stop, you’ll just be stuck between worlds.

Hasumi I’ve exited the tunnel. Someone’s standing just ahead of me. Looks like doing what you guys suggested was the right answer. Thank you. I’m probably gonna be mistaken for a monster, my face is a mess of tears.

2chan Hasumi, wait! Don’t move!

Stop! It’s dangerous!

Who would be standing there at such a time? It’s too suspicious…

Hasumi Sorry for making you all worry. The person was very kind and said they would take me to the closest station. Apparently there’s a business hotel or something there. Everyone, thank you so much.

2chan Hasumi. There’s something I want to ask you, so please answer. Where are you? Can you ask that kind person the place name?

Are they really kind? They could be scarier than what’s going on here, you know.

Yeah, maybe. Anywhere, where the hell are you?!

That person is dangerous!! Why is someone on the railway tracks at this time of night? They must have run into you while disposing of a dead body or something! Run!!

Hasumi I asked where we are, but he just said ‘Hina.’ There’s no way that could be true though.

2chan Hasumi, get out of the car!

I’m sorry, Kasumi. Where is Hina?

What a strange story. So at this particular time some suspicious old guy just happened to be there to pick up a girl walking along the railway tracks…? What was he doing?

Hasumi We’ve started getting closer to the mountains now. I don’t think there’s anywhere for the car to stop, and he’s stopped talking to me entirely.

2chan There’s no reason for even a strange old dude to be up at this time.

Maybe he’s not talking to you anymore because you’re always on your phone?

Hasumi, you’re in danger. Did you tell your parents to come and get you from the tunnel?

Hasumi. Call 110. This might be the last time you ever write anything.

Hasumi My battery’s about to die. Things are looking strange, so I’m gonna try to run the first chance I get. He’s been muttering about something I can’t understand for a while now. Just so I’m ready when needs be, I’m going to make this my last post for now.

※ After this post, Hasumi was never heard from again.

And that wraps it up! As I mentioned before, this one is one of my absolute favorite stories from around the net, but maybe that’s because I’m a sucker for the whole “other world” sort of thing. Personally, I’d love to take a trip there myself and see some things that shouldn’t be. What do you think happened to Hasumi? As always, remember to stay safe and stay true to your beliefs.

[buckyreaderrecs]

A Toast to Whiskey: Chapter 1 / 2

Summary: You work in an old bar hidden away from the modern world. It's almost charming, but not quite. That's probably why Bucky likes it.

Words: 2,325 Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader Characters: Bucky Barnes Additional tags: Bucky needs a hug, recovering Bucky, mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists), angst, she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with part 2, brief mention of Nazis, mental health will be prominent part of part 2

Note: Find this fic and others on A03 - click here. And follow this Tumblr! I post lists of Bucky/Reader fic writers and reblog all my favs. I’ve just started it, so would love the support! xo Rhi

Dedicated to: @browngirlmagic for the conversation. The next chapter is the Lush one!

A Toast to Whiskey Chapter 1 / 2

There were a lot of things in the dusty, old bar that made the man's jaw clench in annoyance, distaste, or anger. You were compiling a list of these things, doing your best to minimise their occurrences. There was one you couldn't avoid though, and it was almost amusing that it bothered him at all. Each time someone ordered a drink - beer, cocktail, shot, whatever - a clean glass was given. The man didn't like it. Was it not like that in his time?

If James Buchanan Barnes thought he'd gone unnoticed in the hole-in-the-wall bar you worked at, he was mistaken. Not entirely, to be fair; the baseball cap and quiet stopped the other patrons from even giving him a second glance. 'Patrons' might have been too civilised of a word to call them. They were old, sickly, local men that had been drinking the same beer from those same taps forever. Harmless, mostly. Unobservant, entirely. Not you though. The first day Bucky walked in and taken a barstool on the very corner, closest to the door, you knew exactly who he was.

Like a lot of people that came and went from the establishment, Bucky's seeking of anonymity was granted. You pretended to not recognise him. You were kind to him, a little more gentle than you were to others, but mostly just a good bartender. And in time, you grew accustomed to the charade. He came in a couple of afternoons a week, but never during the nights when it would be busy. Eventually, he even started to speak more than a couple words to you.

"New cap?" you greeted Bucky with a grin, putting the only drink he ever ordered down in front of him.

Bucky wrapped his right hand around the glass of whiskey. He glanced at you, smiled and shrugged.

"Speaking of new, can I ask you something?" you asked.

The expression on Bucky's face was guarded, but definitely one of concern. You realised you should have just asked, rather than let his mind spiral.

"What’s your problem with clean glasses?"

He looked surprised. Surprised was an experience Bucky wasn't particularly used to or fond of. He wouldn't hold it against you though.

"How do ya know I got a problem?" he asked back, genuinely curious.

Shrugging, you looked around casually. "Guess I notice a lot of things about people,"

"Right," he said slowly, knowingly. "I don't know… Just seems wasteful… Is it the law?"

"That we have to use clean glasses?" you asked with a laugh. "I don't know… probably not. I mean, it's more hygienic. Probably makes the drink taste cleaner or whatever. Board of Health might have a problem with us if we didn't… Not that I've seen one of them in here in years."

Bucky picked up his glass and finished the whiskey. "Fill her up," he quipped. He'd made a half-joke, and you appreciated the effort.

"Yes, sir. Lemme know if you, you know, what anything else," you told him, topping him up, knocking your knuckles on the bar top, and walking away.

…

Bucky Barnes certainly wasn't the most chatty person you'd met. It was better to ask questions if you wanted to pass time with conversations. Easy conversation was one of your special skills, being a bartender and all. However, it was incredibly difficult to do this when you were purposefully avoiding topics that would put Bucky in a position to have to, you know, admit his identity and all that. So, things stayed superficial.

No, Bucky didn't watch the game.

Yes, the weather's been insane.

No, he doesn't want any nut mix.

Okay, maybe yes to pretzels.

Yes, he can see your hair has changed colour.

Yes, he likes it.

For as long as it had taken to get to the point of superficial conversation, it didn't take any time at all to run out of things to say. As it turned out, neither you nor Bucky had lived, or were living, shallow enough lives to sustain it. There were questions you were begging to ask, and if he was honest with himself, Bucky was kinda just counting down until you finally spoke up.

…

"So, I got a question,"

"Mmm. You have a lot of questions," Bucky said, smirking then taking another sip of his whisky.

"You could ask me somethin' if you want a change of pace, pal."

It was a joke. Just banter. But a dark expression flashes across Bucky's face for only a split second. You didn't catch it.

"What's your question, Y/N?"

He knew your name?

Of course he knew your name. He was The Winter fucking Soldier. He probably knew everything about everyone that worked and frequented the bar. How had you not thought of that before? Suddenly, it seemed risky to ask what you had planned to.

Bucky watched you hesitate. He sighed and looked around at the empty room. It was a Monday afternoon and it was just before the regulars showed up to knock beer bottles together and catcall you across the bar. It was just you and him.

"Ask," he said softly, taking his cap off and setting it down on the barstool next to him. You watched Bucky run his hands through his hair, tucking some of it behind his ear.

"Why do you drink whiskey?"

Bucky laughed. Like, a proper heartfelt laugh. "What?" he said, nose still scrunched up in amusement.

"What?"

"Why do I drink whiskey?" he repeated.

"Yeah… I mean… It's disgusting… and, like, you… can't get drunk, right?"

There it was. You did it. Admitted you knew him. Which he figured out. So none of what was happening was really a big deal. But it sure as fuck felt like it.

"Right. I can’t- Well, I can, but it takes a lot,"

"Asgardian mead a lot?"

Bucky grinned and tipped his glass towards you. "How do you know about Asgardian mead?"

You snorted. "Everyone does. Everyone knows everything these days,"

"That's what we want you to think," he said, not skipping a beat.

It made you laugh. It was already better talking to him without false pretences. "So, whisky?"

"Ah… Guess it's that everything's different now… An' that's mostly good. But… You know."

No. No, you didn't know. How could you even begin to understand? "Yeah," you said, your voice far more quiet than you meant it to be.

"Whiskey's still whiskey,"

"It tastes the same?" you asked.

"Almost. Not exactly. Close enough,"

"Makes sense… But why here? S'not like this bar been here since the 40s or anything."

Bucky was visibly trying not to smile. Or make eye contact. "Ah… Not sure how to answer that without… offending ya,"

"Huh? ... Oh, I don't own the joint or anything,"

"You don't?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"No? You think I did? Why?"

"You're…" but he shrugged, still guarded. "I don't know," he lied. "But, ah, I was just lookin' for somewhere…"

"Pretty much stuck in the 40s or thereabouts?"

He nodded, smiling. "But without the Nazis,"

"Mmm… I mean… Have you watched the news lately?" you very quickly said.

"I try to avoid it," he admitted solemnly.

As people started to wander in, the conversation waned. Bucky watched you serve cold beer and pour bags of crisps into bowls. He listened to the worst songs being picked on the jukebox and he sat truly shocked you weren't even at least the daughter of the owner. Despite what you may have thought, he hadn't bothered to investigate you at all and finding his assumptions to be wrong was unsettling.

See, Bucky was a little bit smitten with you. He thought you were smart and sassy and timelessly beautiful. You were the ultimate perk of randomly picking this as his hideaway from the world. But, he figured you were only here because it was a family business. Why was someone smart, sassy and beautiful working strange hours at a shitty bar?

It was hard to say which of you was more curious about the other.

…

Something about what Bucky said had stuck in your head. Whiskey, his drink of choice, was the closest thing to his own time he could find. You could do better than that though.

About a year into working at the bar, you were finally allowed to venture into the cellar to clean it up. There were boxes of shit from forever ago down there and you just wanted it sorted, gone, and the space put to better use. Most of what lived beneath the floor was trash, but every hour or so you'd find something cool. A few vintage beer signs. Empty bottles of collector edition Coke. That kind of stuff. But, there was one thing you had found that you now wanted to stumble across again.

Nobody could remember where it had got to.

It took two days of searching to find it.

The bottle of whiskey was shoved under a bunch of paperwork in the office's bottom drawer desk. Not exactly where you'd store something worth a lot of money, but hey - the barely-there owners of the bar were eccentric, to put it nicely. You didn't recognise the brewing company on the peeling label, but that wasn't the point. The date on the bottle quite clearly read 1940.

When Bucky took his usual spot that afternoon, you bounced over to him with a grin on your face. He looked up at you, keeping his cap.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm so happy?" you said, elbows on the bar and head in your hands.

Bucky smiled a little. He seemed sad. Sadder than usual. Good timing.

"Why are you so happy?"

"'Cause I found something that's gonna make you real fuckin' happy. Check this out!"

You produced the bottle from where you had it stashed under the bar and handed it to Bucky.

Bucky's lips parted slightly and his eyes went all glossy. He read the label carefully, probably trying to place the brand you couldn't. He handled it so carefully, even more than you in your fear of dropping it.

"This is real," he finally said.

"Yeah. I found it in the basement ages ago and just remembered it. 1940, so I figure it's like, first or second batch after Prohibition, yeah?"

Bucky nods. "I guess…" he replied, smiling, remembering Prohibition. "And before all the distilleries had to stop again,"

"For what?" you asked.

"The war," he said so matter-of-factly that it hurt a little. He looked up then, saw your confusion. "Dunno if it was law or if they just did it, but most places stopped making drinking alcohol and started making stuff to help win the war. And ah, whiskey stopped being made because it took up too much crops. I don't know. Something like that."

Something like that. Like he hadn't lived history.

"I didn’t know that. That's…" Not 'cool.' "That makes sense… Anyway. Open it," you ordered, getting out two clean glasses.

Bucky put the bottle on the bar and looked at you seriously. "Y/N, that's gotta be worth… a lot… Can't open it for no reason,"

"Nobody here cares about it. And besides, it's not really no reason, is it?" He didn't move or say anything. "Bucky." He flinched at his name, glanced around to make sure nobody heard. They hadn't. "I think you kinda earned this one, yeah? Now do me the honours."

Why was everyone in Bucky's life so goddamn stubborn?

He sighed and opened the bottle silently. You nodded in encouragement, letting him pour.

"A toast," you posed, holding your glass up. Bucky mimicked your action. "A toast to…" Everything in your head sounded either very cliché or very sad.

"Whiskey," Bucky finished.

"Whiskey," you agreed.

Drinking at the same time, Bucky swallowed in two gulps while you struggled with a sip.

"Jesus fucking Christ it tastes like cat piss now and it did then," you whined, pouring the liquid left in your glass into Bucky's. He laughed at you.

After drinking that down quickly, Bucky reached across the bar and took your hand in his. "Thank you, Y/N. Really."

A toast to finding things that make us less homesick.

…

After the 1940 whiskey, Bucky came in more regularly. He stayed longer, despite the place filling with people. He even began to talk to the other regulars when they sat at the bar and argued with you about politics, the news, and kids these days. You watched him play devil's advocate, siding with the old men, sarcastically poking fun at you with a quick comment every now and then.

You weren't sure when it happened, but you realised Bucky had grown to be comfortable in the space. And there was something about that that made you ridiculously happy. Like, sunbeams bouncing around on the inside of you making you all hot and tingly and full of joy whenever he was there kind of happy. It was gross.

Bucky would walk in, sit, place his cap down and grin at you with his cute little teeth and sparkly blue eyes. It made your day without exception, and you started to notice more little things about him and how they made you feel. When he hooked his hand behind his ear it would make your stomach flip.

One time, when he was telling you a story about carnival rides and baby Steve throwing up, a loose strand of hair fell across his face and you immediately and unconsciously leant across the bar and folded it gently behind his ear for him. Bucky froze, and you went to apologise, but he spoke first. "Thanks," he said softly, with more meaning than the situation called for, then continued on with his story.

It was like that for just over a month. Then he stopped coming in. There was nothing in his final visit to indicate he wasn't coming back. Bucky just disappeared.

CLICK TO READ PART 2/2

[ijustreallylovezebras]

Courtney’s Crisis Writing Challenge

So yeah as I’m sure all of you are aware of by now I’m having a crisis

and I figured what better way to deal with an emotional crisis than to do a writing challenge and read all the wonderful thing’s y’all can write to distract myself from my ever-growing list of responsibilities

maybe i should change it to Courtney’s Procrastination and Existential Worry Writing Challenge instead

ANYWAY

This is a whole-ass mega writing challenge, going across ALL the people I’ve ever written for and all the people I lowkey want to write for/kinda have a current obsession/love for atm

I’ll give a full comprehensive list below the rules 

But yeah this is going to have an English Literature theme bc I’m a nerd like that and have been reading too many books lately, again, to distract myself

So the prompts are split into three categories - “The Heartbreakingly Beautiful”, “The Hilariously Relateable” and “Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff”

yeah the categories are just what went through my mind when I read the things these authors wrote

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing! - on any of my blogs or all three if you’re keen whoooo

10) Use the hashtag #CourtsCrisisWC

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with - again the ask can be sent to either of my writing blogs

12) The deadline for this is 15th December (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

Okay so imma split this section into parts real quick

Main Blog

1) Pretty much anyone from the MCU is welcome - with the exception of Tony Stark and Clint Barton

2) Tom Holland & Harrison Osterfield and HOCO cast and the Holland boys (NOT PADDY) 

3) Any of Les Amis

4) The characters from Peaky Blinders as well

5) Poly ships (e.g. Steve x Reader x Bucky or Tom x Reader x Harrison)

Side Blog

1) Ben Hardy (+ Warren Worthington)

2) Joe Mazzello (+ Eugene Sledge, Gardner Langway, Pat Murray, Dr Tim Murphy)

3) Gwilym Lee (+ Charlie Nelson)

4) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

5) Roger x Reader x Ben

6) Joe x Reader x Ben

7) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

8) Richard Madden (+ David Budd, Robb Stark, Prince Kit)

9) Taron Egerton (+ Eggsy)

10) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

11) Smosh Members

12) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

13) Chris Evans (+ Ari Levinson, Frank Adler)

Just For Funsies (i.e. current obsessions I don’t officially write for but lowkey want to)

1) Ashton Irwin

2) Calum Hood

3) Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Beck)

tbh y’all can just send me a person and I’ll let you know if I’m cool with you writing for them but judging by this list I think you can rest fairly assured that I’m going to be okay with whoever you want to write for

Prompts

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot // the most beautiful and wonderful poem ever written don’t fight me on this // ( @writingsoftheloser w/ BLANK)

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher In The Rye by J.D Salinger ( @takenbyheartstrings w/ Peter Parker)

“I should have made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ( @bensakindofmagic w/ Ben Hardy)

"The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind." - Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira ( @petersfreckles w/ Peter Parker)

“You never forget the face of the person that is your last hope” - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins ( @tom-holland-stuff w/ BLANK)

“Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward (may be the thing that keeps you going) but that it’s painful and dangerous and risky it’s making a dare to the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?” - The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

“We can't fight another person's battle, no matter how much we want to.” - Holding Up The Universe by Jenifer Niven

“I'm sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous condition.” - The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

The Hilariously and Painfully Relatable

“As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden by John Steinbeck ( @queen-paladin w/ Joe/Eugene/Charlie/Les Amis boy)

"We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered." - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard ( @lilulo-12 w/ Bucky)

"It's just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is." - The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen ( @sataninsatin w/ Detective Loki)

“It was books that made me feel that I was not completely alone” - The Night Circus by Erin Mogenstern

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed” - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare ( @icantspellanything w/ Poe Dameron)

“Some people are born with an ear for music, some people are born with a talent for drawing, some people...have a built-in radar that tells them where a comma needs to go in a sentence.” - Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff 

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin ( @mavalenovaninagavi w/ Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker)

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ben Hardy)

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ( @fichoe21 w/ Bucky)

"The curves of your lips rewrite history." - Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde ( @sarahp879 w/ Bucky)

"[BLANK] was right. [They] never looked nice. [They] looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell ( @writing-of-a-british-bitch w/ Eggsy/Warren)

“Here’s my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Love is worth everything. Everything.” - Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace,  against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ( @natdoesthings w/ Jake Gyllenhaal)

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @d-is-for-delightfull w/ Enjolras)

“Don’t you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!” - Peter Pan by J.M Barrie

[mimirexx]

Late Night Visit

Alright since I’ve been lacking motivation to write out my original story, i started a new one and finished it in just one or two days (yay?)

I think starting something new actually gave me a boost and it turned out into this short thing!

Also special thanks to @snk-characters-thoughts for reviving my love for this ship 💕💕

It most likely is super messy and shitty and short but its been too long since i last posted something so here we go!

Read here or on ao3 

-----------

After a failed mission outside the walls, the soldiers returned home. Far away from the titans and behind protecting walls. They’ve made many losses, uncountable soldiers wounded and injured. The mission failed and it was better they retreated before they’d lose much more precious soldiers.

Sasha got injured badly after she tried to save Connie from a titan that came too close. The titan raised his hand and pretty much slapped her against the ground like a fly after she managed to push her friend out of the way. Connie ended the job and helped Sasha onto his horse to get her out of danger afterwards.

It was risky and dangerous but they eventually made it back and were now getting settled in the headquarters. Mikasa took care of Sasha’s wounds, which luckily weren’t as severe as expected. She had a broken leg and bruises over her arm and face- somehow, she managed to fall just right. That didn’t mean she wasn’t in pain, though. Everything hurt, moving around was draining and, worst of all, she hasn’t gotten any food since their return.

“Hnngg...” She shuffled uncomfortably on the bed, groaning with each time she moved a muscle. Her gaze flicked over to the window, at the bright stars and moon, illuminating her room.

It probably was already after midnight but she wasn’t sure, she lost track of time. After what felt like hours, the door of her room opened and someone came inside. Her eyes immediately shot wide open and she licked her lips. That smell... it could only be one thing.

“Is that-?!“

“Meat, yes.” The person, who turned out to be Levi, cut in shortly and approached her bed. “Everyone’s already sleeping and I knew you would be hungry. It’s not much but it should be enough to satisfy your needy ass for now.”

The brunette began panting with anticipation, her drool literally rolling down her chin. “Th-That’s really considerate of you, c-captain!”

Levi placed the tray on the nightstand so he could help Sasha sitting up and placed the pillow behind her back for support. “Whatever, just eat up.” The tray was placed onto Sasha’s lap and the soldier immediately began munching on the luscious meat gleefully. Her eyes pretty much gleamed with how good it was to eat juicy, delicious meat.

Levi was watching her a little disgusted, but he just sighed and reached down to pull Sasha’s hair out of her face. “You eat like a pig.” He commented as he took the hair tie from the nightstand drawer and tied up the girl’s hair. Her hair shouldn’t get into the food, at very least.

Sasha didn’t answer Levi- probably didn’t even hear him either, and, suddenly, she had the strength to move her arms around so wildly. She was way too focused on her heavenly meal and wasn’t interested in anything else. It actually was just a bowl of soup, some bread and a cup of hot tea, together with the extra meat on the side. To Sasha, this was the best meal she had in forever.

While Sasha was pretty much moaning with each bite, Levi folded his arms over his chest and watched her almost amusedly. It was quite funny to watch Sasha eating as if she was close to starving. Even if she was always like that, this time it was different.. somehow. Levi felt different.

“Agh-!!” Sasha suddenly exclaimed and opened her mouth to fan her burned tongue. “Hothothot!!!” She exclaimed in distress, looking up at Levi helplessly with her tongue stuck out.

Raising a brow, Levi tilted his head lightly and let out a short snort. Then he reached down and ruffled the girl’s hair gently, “That’s your own fault, brat. Tea is hot.” He stated as a fact which made Sasha chuckle. She leaned up into his touches, liking the little affection she got a lot.

“There’s something else hot here too...” The girl muttered to herself. Levi’s hand stopped at that and he eyed her suspiciously, but Sasha just chuckled and held up her bowl. “My soup!” She exclaimed and slurped down the rest of it quietly. Lucky for her, the bowl covered most of her face so there was no way for Levi to have seen the faint blush on her cheeks.

By the time Sasha lowered her bowl again, the tea’s temperature cooled down just enough to be drunk without getting burned another time. When she finally was done with everything and hadn’t left a single crumble on the tray, Sasha leaned back with an satisfied sigh and placed her hand on her belly. “That was so good... Thank you, captain.”

After Levi took the tray back, Sasha carefully scooted back into a laying position. She nuzzled her head into the pillow, her gaze staying on Levi while he took the tray and headed over to the door without losing another word.

But before he could reach out for the doorknob, the brunette spoke up timidly, “Captain? It’s really boring here, would you mind to stay?”

“Tch.” Levi sounded annoyedly, shooting her a glare from over his shoulder. “Do I look like a clown to you? Do you expect me to entertain you or what?”

“Wha-?“ She immediately shook her head before averting her gaze somewhere else. “No, sir. I just.. kinda feel lonely. I don’t want to stay here alone..” She admitted, fiddling with her blanket, “Please? Just this once. I’ll... clean up the stables, if you want!”

Her offer was turned down by Levi’s flicking wrists, “You’ve got a broken leg, it’ll take some time for you to walk again, idiot.” Nonetheless, Levi walked back over to her and took a seat on the bed as he placed the tray back on the nightstand.

Sasha’s eyes lit up and she quickly made space on her bed for Levi to lay down next to her, giving him a huge, happy grin. The raven only stared at her like she was a maniac- which she most definitely was- and folded his arms over his chest. “No.” He said firmly.

Then Sasha pouted, her eyes becoming sad and her lip stuck out, even quivering a little. “Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sprinkles on top and a-“

“-Ugh..“ Levi growled and slapped his hand over her mouth, narrowing his eyes deeply. “You’re a pain in the ass, I hope you know that.” He growled under his breath. Feeling Sasha smiling behind his hand made him eventually gave in, and Levi hesitantly got into bed and laid down beside her.

His gaze stayed fixated on the ceiling and Sasha could tell he was feeling awkward. She didn’t want him to, so she slowly inched closer until she could wrap an arm around his torso and looked up at him. The raven looked utterly confused at the soldier, his brows knitted together.

“What’re you doing?” He questioned which made Sasha get even closer.

“It’s called cuddling, you’ll like it.” Placing her head on Levi’s chest, Sasha closed her eyes slowly.

“I know what cuddling is, brat. I mean-“ He stopped himself from finishing his sentence when he saw Sasha getting comfortable on his chest. She snuggled and nuzzled him, holding onto him while Levi just stared down at her. Though, the longer she was laying there, the sooner Levi just accepted it and reached down to wrap one arm around her in return. Not even Levi had the heart to pull away anymore.

“...Goodnight.” He murmured softly, turning over to blow out the candle before finally relaxing. They just came back from the mission this afternoon, everyone needed some rest.

When morning rolled around, Levi was already awake. He’s been awake for a while but didn’t move or talk to not wake the sleeping soldier. He found himself playing with the ends of Sasha’s hair, though, to give himself something to do.

Soon, the brunette woke up with a yawn, her arms squeezing Levi. Her eyes blinked open slowly and she laid there lazily for a while longer. It was too early to wake up or do anything.

She could feel that Levi still was in bed with her and turned her head over to look at him. “Morning, captain. How did you sleep?” She chirped, resting her chin on his chest as she watched him.

The raven stared at her and just rolled his eyes at her question. “Fine. Now let me get up, I’ve got shit to do.” He ordered and tried pushing himself up but Sasha was faster and kept him down.

“Not now. I wanna cuddle some longer!” She whined like a child which earned herself a flick on the forehead, making her whine.

“That was enough cuddling for you. There’s work waiting for me.” He repeated and pushed her back, only to be embraced once again. “Oi!”

“Levi, please.” Sasha dropped the title and looked at him with big eyes and a pout. “Just a little longer.”

With a heavy sigh, Levi plopped back into the pillow and glared at the brunette. “You’re even more annoying than Jaeger.” He commented as Sasha just smiled.

“Let’s play a game.”

Levi snarled, “Are you fucking-“

“C’mon. If you win, I’ll let you go.” She offered.

The raven grumbled something under his breath, but ended up nodding nonetheless. The faster he got out, the faster he could finish his work.

“Alright, you need to close your eyes and guess what I’m drawing on your chest.”

“That’s the most stupid game I’ve ever heard of.“ Levi deadpanned.

“Just close your eyes, grumpy.” Sasha giggled, yet a little scared in case she crossed the line with her little nickname.

Levi didn’t look pleased- then again, when did he even look pleased to begin with? He was still frowning and for a second, Sasha thought he’d slap her. Instead, he just exhaled and closed his eyes to just get done with it.

The girl smiled and pressed her finger against Levi’s chest. Before she could even do anything, Levi spoke up, “Meat.”

“Hey!” Sasha complained, “I didn’t even start yet! That didn’t count!”

The raven would’ve rolled his eyes but, since they were closed, he just clicked his tongue annoyedly.

Huffing, Sasha placed her hand back on the captain’s chest and glanced up at him. She sucked in a breath and carefully leaned up so she was facing him. Her eyes traveled all over the handsome features of his face and stopped at his lips.

“Get done with it already, brat.”

Heart thumping against her chest, Sasha sucked in a breath and trailed her hand up so she was cupping Levi’s cheek in her palm and could tilt his head. She saw the change in his expression; his brows suddenly lifted all the way up, his lips parting as if to say something.

But before he had any chance to do so, Sasha quickly closed the gap between them by pressing her lips against his. She shut her eyes tightly, tense, and maybe a little scared- a lot scared.

The kiss barely lasted a few seconds before the brunette pulled back again, her cheeks tinted in a beautifully deep shade of red. She looked down and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Silence.

It was unbearable. She couldn’t tell if she should be happy or just made the biggest mistake of her entire life. This was Levi, after all. Cold, stoic, mean Levi.

On the other hand, Levi also was really compassionate and had a good heart. Deep inside, he wasn’t as mean as he let people think. Sasha saw him interacting with animals or people who were close to him, like Hanji and Erwin. It was a hard shell with a core made of pure gold.

And that was what made these feelings inside her grow from day to day. She caught herself watching him more often than she should, worrying about his well being and his health. Levi soon grew to be such an important person in her life and she didn’t believe it was coincidence that, out of all people, Levi was the one who came to bring her food. After all, he could’ve just told anyone to do it.

Not to mention that he actually agreed to sleeping next to her and agreed to playing this stupid game with her. He didn’t say anything when she called him by his name, not even when she gave him a nickname... Something deep inside her told her that maybe, just maybe, Levi didn’t only saw her as a soldier. Maybe, to him, she meant just as much.

But now that she really kissed him and made the first step, Sasha was scared. What did she even think? Levi was her captain, her superior, in no way it’d be acceptable for them to be.. a thing, would it? Her heart took over her mind and now she didn’t know what to do anymore.

How could she even be so stupid? Levi was the captain of the Survey Corps! He had responsibilities and duties and if people found out he started something with one of his soldiers, they’d think wrong of him and probably lose their respect towards him.

Also, she had a feeling he was pretty close with Hanji. She once heard him saying he bathed and cleaned her repeatedly and always saw them together. It didn’t have to mean anything, of course, but Sasha didn’t have a good feeling about that. Sure, she was very close with Connie too, but she didn’t bathe him...

“...I’m sorry, captain. I got ahead of myself.” She muttered once the silence became too tense to bear any longer and swallowed the lump in her throats. “You.. can leave, I won’t bother you anymore...”

With that, Sasha pulled herself away from Levi and carefully scooted to the other side of the bed to give Levi space. She turned around so her back was facing him and stared at the wall in front of her.

Levi was still so quiet and Sasha began trembling. What would happen now? Would he hit her because she took advantage of him like that? Or would he let her clean the whole castle for weeks? Or maybe he’d kick her out of the military..? What would happen?! She didn’t know.

After what seemed like forever, she heard shuffling on the bed and shut her eyes tightly, preparing herself for what was about to come. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, turning her over, and soon after, felt the same hand cupping her chin. The girl shivered, her eyes gleaming with tears.

“C-capt-“ She wasn’t even able to start her sentence and already felt these soft lips connecting with her own. She hiccuped against Levi’s lips and shut her eyes tightly as she turned around and clutched onto Levi’s shirt.

This time, the kiss lasted much longer. It made Sasha’s heart flutter and made all the negative thoughts fade away in a matter of an heartbeat. The tears that formed in her eyes escaped and dripped down her cheeks, all the way down.

A couple of good moments later, Levi broke the kiss, his hands coming up to hold Sasha’s face, his thumbs gingerly rubbing away her tears. “I will leave because I’ve got work to get done,” He stated, “But I can assure you, I’ll come be back in the evening. And then I’ll be the one bothering you.”

Sasha laughed weakly at that and nuzzled his palms with closed eyes. “Sounds fair.” Her heart calmed down again and her whole body began relaxing. This felt right, it felt comfortable and it was such a big burden that got lifted off her shoulders. She was just overthinking it all in her panic. Finally, Sasha was at peace.

“Just rest now. I’ll tell one of the brats to get you breakfast.” He leaned up to press a long kiss on Sasha’s forehead before he got up from the bed and fixed the blanket around her a little. “And wash up, you smell like shit.” He said a little more seriously but Sasha could see he didn’t really mean it and just wanted her to get clean. Maybe that’d get her more cuddles.

A smile, “Will do.”

With a last nod, Levi lifted the tray he brought with him last night and walked over to the door. He opened it, walked out, and gently closed it behind himself.

The brunette watched him leave and stared at the door with a big smile.

She felt like an idiot, a happy idiot.

[tinyarmyofqueerfolkwrites]

Thank You, Taylor Swift

So, I’m going to put this under a cut, just given the sensitive nature of the post, and the fact it’s really long.

The very short, trigger free version, is that it’s a love letter to @taylorswift after listening to Lover for what feels like the millionth time and specifically why I relate so much to Soon You’ll Get Better. The part that references cancer, depression, and death is warned about with a clear, visible end. So it won’t just come up on anyone who reads this.

I’m not a big believer in finding romantic love. I’ve seen very little of it in my life, my parents have been fighting for as long as I can remember and that kind of darkness seems to have plagued my life. But that isn’t say I don’t believe it exists. I’m a writer and I have seen my characters fall in love. I have written love of all kinds, from platonic, to familial, to yes, even romantic love. As easy as it is written, it is infinitely harder to find, in my opinion.

I can say I’ve never been romantically in love. And that’s okay for me, for right now. I’m in a dark place in my life, have been for far longer than I sometimes want to think about, but I’m still moving. Part of why I’m still moving is because of my friends, of my chosen family, of the people who have been in my life to love me and to keep me going. That love means a lot to me. And so does this album.

It’s Nice To Have A Friend, as romantic as it ends, reminds me of the first friend I can truly say I could have loved romantically. He was my best friend from the ages of 11 to 17. He meant the entire world to me. We dated, sort of. It was secret and in the background, but he was there when my world first started falling apart. The song itself is sweet and soft and nice. It reminds me of Mary’s Song, which had been one of my favorite songs of the self titled album. Because, above all else, I love hearing about other people in love. 

Another song that reminds me of Nick, unfortunately, is Death By A Thousand Cuts. I spent a lot of time wrapped around his memory. Because he disappeared from my life. It was this weird period of my life and it hurt. I ended up losing a lot of people I thought were my friends, so to lose him too was too much. It hurt less because I loved him romantically and more because I he was my world in a lot of ways I didn’t know you could love another person.

I Forgot That You Existed is a song that now makes me think of him, and a few other “friends” that abandoned me at various points in my life. The people I’ve now forgiven and forgotten about enough to be able to remember the good times, and the bad, without getting hurt. It’s just indifference.

Paper Rings is the first song I definitely had to put on repeat. It’s so upbeat and honestly makes me just really happy. It’s a good dancing song, something to bounce around to and, in a sense, dream to. It reminds me of my sister and her boyfriend, honestly. They’re the first kind of proper romantic love I’ve ever really seen in my life. They are so sweet and understanding of each other and they just moved in together as a way to help my sister. She’s honestly thinking of proposing to him and it makes me really happy for her, and for them. He respects her and he respects me, which is something previous boyfriends of hers didn’t do. 

If you want to avoid the talk of cancer, death, and depression please skip down til you find the gif. Everything after that will be positive again, cos I refuse to end on a depressing note.

So, in December of 2018 my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was living with my sister, it was Christmas time, mother didn’t tell us until after Christmas. It was weird for us. We’ve never had a good relationship with our mom, for a number of reasons, so hearing she had cancer came weird. I don’t know if it was shock or something else, but a lot of it was “it’s not the kind of cancer we imagined she’d get” cos she’s a smoker, so we figured, if anything, it’d be lung cancer.

Flash forward to late January and I’ve returned home with my parents. Mother is sick and needs someone to watch out for her while my dad works. I don’t like being back in the family home, it’s messy and fuels my depression, which fuels my anger. It’s not a good attitude to have when trying to care for someone with cancer, I know this. I just can’t help it sometimes, though I try.

Shortly after my return, mother started chemo and she started going down hill. I stopped sleeping in my own room so I was close to her at night when she was most liable to fall and hurt herself. And she did. A lot. And every time I fought to pick her up. I fought to pick her and up and stop the bleeding. It’s a thankless job, I knew this coming into it, but I had no choice. She’s my mom. Yeah, I have a really bad relationship with her and this isn’t liable to change, but this is something I have to do.

So, the first however many times I listened to Soon You’ll Get Better I didn’t necessarily react. And then September 4th rolled around. My grandmother, who was the kind of woman who pushed through everything, had been diagnosed with cancer so many times and come back every time, died. I didn’t have a good relationship with her either, barely knew her, she barely knew me but she was the stubborn sort. She died in the early morning hours, before I’d even gone to bed. I’d ask her not to die on my birthday (the 5th) and she didn’t, but it was hard to take either way.

Later that day, on my way to Orlando, to celebrate my birthday, I had my mom stop at Target. I needed a physical copy of Lover in my hands and I’d never gotten a Target Exclusive version of Taylor’s albums before so I needed it. Happy birthday to me, right? Well, I decided I wanted to play Soon You’ll Get Better for my mom. I cried. It was the first time I’ve cried in a really long time. And I want to kinda talk about why.

In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too

I went with my mom to a number of her appointments with her, including sitting through chemo with her on more than one occasion. I was raised in the church but as I’ve gotten older lost my faith, lost what it means to believe in a higher power. Because I’ve been hated on in churches, being queer and trans. But in all of this I’ve re-found parts of my faith. 

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal I just pretend it isn't real

Something I’ve always done, something I got from my mother, is you take the bad things and you shove them under the rug. You forget they exist and I hate to say it, it’s what I’ve been doing. To whatever extent I can. Because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I don’t, y’know?

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?

It’s hard to explain that fear, thinking about what life would be like if she dies. Because as bad as my relationship with my mom is, she’s one of the only pieces of sanity I have close. I mean this in the sense that I talk to my mom a lot, about a lot of stupid stuff, and sometimes about deep stuff. Maybe I do it because I know she won’t remember all of it, or any of it, cos our conversations often happen late at night, but I do it. I talk to her and I don’t know who I’ll talk to like that if she doesn’t get better. 

Part of why I’m writing this is because she might not. My mom has a lot of health risks, things that make operating for the cancer dangerous. It’s another reason why my sister and I were surprised when they said she had pancreatic cancer. We found out today that while the surgeon is willing, she’s high risk. Being high risk, the anesthesiologist might deem her too risky. That, despite all of this, she may not be able to get the surgery to remove the tumor. She hasn’t had chemo since May because she’s been too sick and too weak. It’s possible that if they can’t do the surgery, she won’t be able to do chemo again either to keep in check. 

That’s hard to take, for all of us and part of me just wants to put Soon You’ll Get Better on repeat because what else can I do? I’ve done what I can but it’s just not enough. 

So, that’s the long winded explanation of why I love that song and relate to it so much. And, cos I probably made anyone reading this cry:

Now to try and end this on a much more positive note.

A lot of the songs on the album that I don’t necessarily have proper connections to, that I still love deeply. Cruel Summer, You Need To Calm Down and Me! have this vibe that makes me want to dance, flat out. I go way too hard to the bridge in Cruel Summer. Like, it’s just one of those things I do and I do so apologetically.

London Boy, Daylight,  Cornelia Street and Lover are dreamer songs. Songs that make me believe that love does exist in a romantic sense. That when things are rough and tumblr, I can listen to and feel better, cos at least for someone out there a love like that exists. One that is bright and brilliant and still so very soft. They’re also really good songs to dance to. Like, this album really is full of bops.

So, Taylor, should you take the time to read this long post by a random person on the internet, thank you. Thank you for Lover. Thank you for the truth. Thank you for being you. This album has been such a bright spot in my life right now. I take joy in the little things and I take a lot of joy out of this not-so-little thing. This album makes my heart happy, even in the dark and it’s a beautiful thing. 

Love, 

Charlie (they/he)

[smoochcal]

numb without you (part six)

a/n: we got 20 notes on part 5!!! a little reminder that I would really like to get at least 20 notes on the previous part before I post the next one, so please tell your friends about this series :) I just wanted to take some time to thank each and every one of you for supporting my writing. if you have any suggestions on how you want this series to go, please let me know!! this series has quickly become my baby and I am very proud of it. also, a big giant thank you to el for helping me with the little details of this series and for inspiring me to be soft on a daily basis about both luke and calum. I have so much love for you it’s kind of ridiculous. (read part five here)

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 1.8 k

playlist: numb without you by the maine, risky business by the cab

summary: you get morning sickness for the first time and don’t want to bother Luke with it

warnings: swearing, mentions of puking, slight jealousy

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Y/N’s POV:

Can it even be called morning sickness if you are dry heaving over your toilet at 11pm?

I mean it is a possibility that this is just the aftermath of you eating too much ice cream, but you really doubt it. Especially because your doctor was surprised that you had not experienced any morning sickness yet. Of course, this had to happen right after you were left alone though. You always hated being sick and if right now is any indication of how the rest of this pregnancy is going to go, you better be prepared for a lot of sickness. The waves of nausea are still hitting you pretty hard, but you go into the kitchen to see if you have any ginger ale or sprite or saltine crackers to calm your stomach. That’s what always helped when you were little at least.

After five minutes of frantically looking for food in between the waves of nausea that made you hover over your sink more often than not you decide that you do not have anything that could help you in your current situation. You sigh at the thought that is making its way to the front of your mind as you pick up your phone. You don’t want to call Luke since he was just here, and you really don’t have many other options of people that can help you. But you definitely need someone to get you some ginger ale as soon as possible if you want to make it to work in the morning. You scroll through your contacts and your thumb hovers over the person who you inevitably have to turn to.

Calum.

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Calum’s POV:

11:55 PM

That’s the time my clock reads when you were rudely woken up by someone calling. The minute you finally open my eyes and see who is calling, you answer right away feeling bad for even thinking negatively about the situation.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” you mutter quickly, worried that something bad has happened since you left her earlier today.

“Calum, calm down. I’m okay, the baby is okay…just…fuck can you go to the store and bring me some ginger ale? I’ve been puking for the past hour or I would get it myself…and I would ask Luke, but he recently left and-” Y/N starts but you cut her off.

“I’ll be there in twenty…hang in there,” you say before quickly hanging up and putting on your shoes.

You guess this is only the beginning to your late-night rendezvouses with Y/N, which forms a pit in your stomach worried about the future.

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Y/N’s POV:

Literally in twenty minutes flat Calum was at your door step with two bags from the nearby grocery store. You could not be more thankful for him at a time like this. You stop violently retching your guts up about five minutes ago which you were rather pleased about considering you did not want Calum to see you like that…not like he won’t see you at your worst throughout this pregnancy, but today was not that day.

He brought you a two liter of ginger ale, your favorite kind to be exact, and some crackers and other various snacks for when you were feeling a little bit more yourself. You were so thankful that he was able to bring you what you needed, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you asked him instead of Luke. In any other circumstance you would’ve asked Luke over Calum but you felt weird asking Luke to come back so soon after he had just left. He’s still your best friend but you don’t want to put all the “father of the baby” type responsibilities on him when Calum is the father and Luke isn’t.

You’re sure this isn’t going to be the only time that you feel this way. It just sucks because you were so close to Luke before this and you don’t want a baby to ruin your relationship with your best friend. God, why couldn’t you have just made your move in Luke instead of Calum. What were you thinking?

Before you could dive deeper into this self pity rabbit hole you were digging yourself, Calum grabs your attention.

“Is there anything else that I can get you before I go home? It’s getting kinda late and I know we both have work in the morning…” he says, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“No no I’m good…thank you again for everything. Sorry that I woke you up…” you respond, feeling bad that you had been so inconsiderate of his time.

You walked him to the front door, thanking him about seven more times for helping you out. He asks you to keep him updated on anything else that happens. Especially the nausea which makes you laugh. And just like that you are alone again. You pour yourself a glass of ginger ale and decide it would probably be best if you got ready for bed considering it was already 12:00 and you had to be up for work at 7:00. You take a sip of your drink, already feeling better and lay down hoping that sleep comes easily tonight. Before you know it, you were out like a light.

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~The Next Day~

Luke’s POV:

You can’t believe it. You can’t believe she chose Calum over you. Okay, maybe that is just you being a little dramatic. But she really called Calum last night instead of me? What happened to my best friend who would call me if she needed a bug killed in her apartment? Shouldn’t this be the same thing?

You’re sure she has a reasonable explanation for why she chose him, so you really shouldn’t worry about it. It was just a one-time thing, or that’s what you keep telling yourself. You know you shouldn’t let your emotions get the best of you; jealousy doesn’t look good on you anyway. But the longer you think about it, the more these negative emotions fester inside of you.

You decide to text her.

To: Y/N

From: Luke

Guess Calum is better at midnight runs than me?

You know you shouldn’t have sent that message as soon as you see the “read” sign underneath it.

Shit.

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Y/N’s POV:

Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me. He really is pulling this shit right now. When my evening “morning” sickness is in full swing? You really are angry with Luke. Like really really freaking angry. Is he being serious right now? You know your anger can get the best of you and that is definitely what is happening right now. You pick up your phone and dial his number.

“We are not playing whatever this jealousy followed by guilt thing is. If you want to talk come over to mine. And don’t you dare mention anything about the smell of vomit,” you state blatantly, hanging up the phone before he has the opportunity to respond.

Within ten minutes Luke is at your door letting himself in with the key you gave him in case of emergencies, which he determined this was. He found you sitting on the floor of your bathroom, your hair matted down on your forehead and a cup of water sitting next to you. He sits down next to you, rubbing your back and handing you the ginger ale he picked up for you on the way over.

“I’m sorry for being jealous…I’m just not used to someone else taking care of my best friend when she needs it the most,” Luke starts, looking down to avoid eye contact.

He helps you up off the floor and hands you your tooth brush to allow you to brush your teeth and attempt to get the nasty taste out of your mouth. He then goes into your room and grabs some new clothes for you to change into, assuming your other clothes are sweaty from the time spent puking. He found a shirt that used to belong to him and a pair of sweatpants for you to change into and left your room to give you some privacy. You didn’t even realize that he handed you the shirt that until recently belonged to him when you changed shirts. When you were finished getting changed you went into the living room where you found Luke sitting on your couch, his favorite blanket of yours already draped across his lap. You sit next to him and he shares the blanket with you, giving you a sheepish smile.

“I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise me that you won’t be mad about it, at least not at first,” you say, hoping that he will comply and not say anything to test your patience anymore.

“Okay, I’m listening,” he replied, allowing you to say everything you need to.

“Here goes nothing…recently I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on what I want to happen in the next couple months before the baby comes. I have given it a lot of thought and I don’t think there will be any romantic involvement between me and Calum. That being said, I still want him to be a part of the baby’s life and he will be around me and the baby from here on out. But you are still my best friend. I want you to be here as often as you want, but you have to understand that I don’t always want to bother you with little things like getting me ginger ale at odd hours of the night. You have to know that Calum is going to want to be as much a part of this pregnancy as you may want to be. He is always going to be the baby’s father and he will always be around now. He is your friend too so this should not be that big of a deal. You’re my best friend, Luke and you always will be. I just wanted you to know my headspace with all of this so I would have some peace of mind. So if you could please put your jealousy aside and just embrace the fact that your goddaughter or godson will be here in less than six months that would be very helpful,” you ramble, completely disregarding the fact that you just spilled the beans on asking Luke to be your baby’s godfather.

To be continued…

[purplesurveys]

581

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? They’re my sister’s; I borrowed them for the semester because these shorts are conducive for my PE classes, but since we already finished the class last week I should probs give it back to her soon. Do you find smoking unattractive? I used to, but now I can’t really say that I hate it. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? They did, back in Grade 6. They took away two of my very private diaries and ever since then I never wrote down my thoughts in a notebook. I never did get the two back. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I thought I could, then my friends made me try a margarita a month after I turned 18 hahaha. Is there someone you'll never forget? There are loads of people I haven’t and will never forget; this is a very broad question.

Do you miss someone right now? Yes. Last time you were on the phone? Just to use it? Maybe some four minutes ago. But the last time I was on a call – if that’s what you meant – was last night. Do you get distracted easily? Yeup. Earlier I was doing a reading, picked up my phone for a short break, then never realized I was on my phone for the next two hours. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never ‘caught’ me; whenever I do drink I let them know/ask permission. I respect them enough to do that because I know how alcohol had nearly ruined our family in the past. Do you think flirting is cheating? Uhhhhhhh yes. Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? I could never hate Gab. Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? It was my brother.  Is your room messy or clean? Fairly clean. I had a general cleaning of my room not too long ago. Do you drink tea? Not the hot or herbal kind. I only have iced tea occasionally. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Sort of? Kind of? Idk it’s either way. I’m content that I’m home but I wouldn’t mind being out drinking right now too. What are you listening to right now? I can only hear the electric fan’s white noise. I don’t feel like listening to music. Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t remember my most recent bruise but it probably has something to do with PE and me hitting the mat/floor way too hard. Are you looking forward to anything? The weekend. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? The fact that I stared at this question for a good minute must mean I haven’t thought this in a while lmao. That’s gotta be a good thing! Whose house where you last at? Other than mine, Gab’s. When someone says 'we need to talk', what do you think: If I know that that person doesn’t have a problem/potential problem with me, I just assume it’s something light. The only time this was said to me and it turned out to be something bad was my mom gathering us to say that our grandpa died, so I don’t really have a bad experience in general with that sentence. Tell me what's on your mind? I would have been able to sleep in tomorrow if I didn’t accept a 10 AM commitment and now I’m hating myself loads. It’s exhausting to accept an executive position sometimes. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? I doubt it; it’s already 9:55 and I just started on this survey. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s fine, but it’s not super solid or anything. They don’t know anything about me other than what I post on Facebook. How much money did you spend today? I spent P45 on an egg and cheese sandwich just to get through my hunger this morning, and my orders from online shopping came so I dropped P1,120 on that hahaha. In other words, I’m slowly GOING BROKE Can you see a cat from where you're sitting? Nope. I can see a dog, though. Who was your last text from? My professor for a history class. I’m the beadle in this class, so he texts me reminders from time to time. What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? It’s fairly new so it hasn’t acted up ever. The only bad thing that happens to it is me dropping it D: What's been upsetting you lately? I am so fucking burned out from this semester and just wish it’s over already. Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? Nope, everyone’s safe. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Nopes.

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? The living room couch, I think. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Not at all. I’m an easy target. Do you have a dog? Yes, the goodest and bestest. Do you like to wear pants? No, I hate jeans and wish I had more shorts than jeans. How many people do you trust fully? I trust everybody I know, is the thing. I feel like my loved ones and friends deserve that. But I can cut off ties with them very easily if they abuse that trust. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? I use my phone but make sure I’m hidden behind my laptop. If that’s too risky, I’ll doodle whatever lyrics on my notebook (if I’m writing). Otherwise I’d just check my social media on my laptop. What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: Pink. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “...Already?” I set my alarms this morning for 4 AM, 4:30 AM, and 5:30 AM. I woke up at the 4 AM alarm, went back to sleep, and the next alarm that woke me was the 5:30 one. I must have turned off the 4:30 one too but I was probably half-sleepy and groggy AS FUCK because I don’t remember turning that one off at all. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Yeah. I kinda have to because the way I run during the day depends on the amount of sleep I get. Ever like someone older than you? I haven’t. What's your favorite amusement park? I don’t really have any. Universal Studios in Singapore was great fun though. Are you cold at this very moment? A little bit. I’ve since turned on the AC and also have an electric fan directed at me, so I’m quite chilly. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? Depends on my mood..sometimes I’m talkative, and sometimes I just want to be on my laptop and be undisturbed. Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Other than incompetent groupmates from past projects who temporarily made my life a living hell, not really. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 to 10. Nothing more, nothing less. What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? This question is so creepy. What's one fear are you most paranoid about? Not getting a nice enough job that doesn’t pay enough. Have you ran into an old friend recently? A couple of weeks ago I bumped into Mils; I was headed to my car and she was headed to class. It was super brief; we just said hi and she complimented my water bottle (which I have since lost lmao). Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Most likely. Could you go a whole year without cursing? I doubt it. Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV! I gave that up like, 6 years ago lol. That’s no problem for me now. Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? I want to play Mario Kart Tour again but I have to finish this survey first. Does anyone know your password besides you? Gab and my sister. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I dunno, I’ve never been in that situation. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? I’m patient with people more; I don’t like the other aspects of waiting, like traffic or waiting in line for something. Could you go a day without eating? I could, but it would suck and it would hurt and I’d probably pass out. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? More than, I guess. I mean I didn’t plan on making it to 21, so I guess everything I do from here on out is more than what I had planned. Are you a forgiving person? No. I prefer holding grudges. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YES What is something you disliked about today? My anthropology professor instructed us to watch a film over the weekend. Completely forgot about it of course, and crammed my viewing the night before even though I was already tired. Today, I walked into the room to find out we were gonna watch the exact same movie as a class anyway; meaning I could have rested up last night lolololololol but guess not When's the last time you had a headache? A week ago, I think. Is there anything that you are craving right now? A burger from Pound :( And samgyupsal, ughhhhhhhh. What was the first thing you thought of this morning? How I fucking hate my Wednesday schedule. What part of your body hurts right now? I’m good at the moment. Eyes are starting to feel heavy though. Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? Not really. Gab’s working tonight and I wouldn’t want her to drop everything just to surprise me at home. What is something that you realized today? I really dislike my course. I had a very productive afternoon today and started work on each of my final requirements for all my classes this semester – I met progress with every single major requirement, except for those of my journ electives, about which I could really not care less. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Do you remember who your first crush was? Yeah, my 5th grade science teacher. I remember feeling ashamed to disclose it on these surveys back when I was new to this, but it’s been like ten years and I’ve gotten old as fuck and I can just spit it out now lmao. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? I don’t think so. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Sure. What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? Binoculars. Do you have a bad temper? I can, most especially on my period. How many wives or husbands do you want? Wow, just one please. What's the closest pink object to you? My keyboard cover. Do you consider yourself lucky? No. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? A single sock that I’m too lazy to pick up for now, and my dog. Do you trust anyone? I trust lots of people. What's your favorite color gummy bear? Maybe red? I like strawberry/cherry flavored gummies. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? Duterte. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Meh, yes and no. What color is your iPod? I don’t use it anymore, but my Nano is blue. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping maybe? Or at least settling in. Do you like roller coasters? Nope. One famous guy you would marry in an instance? Does it have to be a guy? I got nothing.