#kinda not but that's because I've never really been super into their stuff

[angrybatart]

Storyteller better watch out. Flying glomp imminent.

[lyxchen]

Bro I think I'm gonna have to make a post defending Nicole soon

[teaboot]

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

[stereoqueen]

sunshine - pt2 - l.hughes

summary: luke runs into a coffee shop before morning skate, semi-hoping that hallie is there like old times.

< previous > < next >

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Where you going, Rusty?" Jack's voice echoes through their apartment as Luke shakes his head, picking up his bag. "To morning skate, where else would I be going on Sunday?" He replies as his brother pulls a protein shake out of the fridge. "I've never seen you up this early for a morning skate," Jack says quizzically. Luke shrugs, walking out the door, "See ya!"

The drive to the practice facility was making him nervous. Nervous enough to drive in silence and drown his thoughts. Luke was never known to be an anxious guy, especially over girls. The fact that he could see her again and it would be real…. heightened his anxiety. The internet portrayed him in two ways -- the younger brother who has a lot on his shoulders: cute, quiet, and kept to himself; or the wildcard brother: cocky, arrogant, not Quinn and not Jack. Both sides had one thing in common: no public relationships.

In all honesty, he was a mix. He liked his quiet time; he was kinda reserved, but he was also headstrong, knew he could play better, and had big shoes to fill. The only person who really knew his love life was his best friend, Dylan. Sure, he tried to date a few girls in college, but they either wanted to date him to get to his brothers or just use him for his reputation on campus. That's where the "womanizer" branding came from; Jack's reputation also helped solidify it. He was hoping Hallie didn't know about it so he could have a fair shot-- or just didn't care.

Pulling into the practice facility garage, he decided to man up and go to the coffee shop across the street. He was over 45 minutes early before he had to change into his gear.

If she was there, he would work up the courage and talk to her.

If she was not there, he would get the coffee and get ready insanely early.

He exited his BMW, walked through the garage and across the street. The coffee shop's main windows had seating, and he could see her stuff through the window. He opened the door, and the dinging of the bell rang through his head like deja vu when he entered the small shop.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Hallie was in line, trying to read the menu to see if they had her signature coconut syrup to put into her latte. She got up super early since it was her first morning practice because she had never been to the training facility before (and would rather die of embarrassment than be late). When she parked, she realized that there was a coffee shop across the way as her saving grace for getting there insanely early.

The coffee shop was adorable. Sage green walls, greenery falling down them, and flowers everywhere. She felt transported back to her hometown coffee shop when she stepped up to order. Feeling a presence behind her, she slowly felt it creeping closer. Starting to tense up, she immediately let her guard down when she smelt the cologne next to her.

"What can I get you both today?" The barista asks as Hallie smiles at them.

"Two iced coconut lattes, please," Luke's voice rings through her ears as she hears the order -- he remembered her order. Hallie nods. "And a cinnamon bun, too," she adds and hears Luke lightly laugh.

"That'll be $12.50," The barista says as Hallie starts to pull out her card.

"Absolutely not, sunshine," Luke mutters near her ear as he reaches around her to pay. His arm curls around her waist to reach the card reader, causing Hallie to try not to melt at the feeling.

The two separate as Luke follows her lead to sit back at the table where she has her stuff. She takes the booth as he takes the chair, the two giving light smiles at each other, comfortable silence engulfing them.

"You remembered," She said, cutting the silence off.

"Remembered what? You? Or the way you take your coffee?" He questioned, a teasing smirk on his face. The answer was cut off short as he got up to get the order, hearing the barista say his name.

"Damn, he's good," She said to herself. She studied him as he walked back. He was wearing a red Devils sweatshirt with his number on the arm, grey sweatpants, and a black backwards hat hiding his curls. He looked good, handsome in her eyes.

"You surprised I remember things about you or something?" Luke asked her as he sat the order down and then himself. She shrugged, "It's been a while since I last saw you, Hughes,"

"Oh low blow, not even Hughesy? No nickname?" He teased as she laughed.

"When were you going to tell me that you not only moved here but work for the NHL?" Luke asked as she took a sip of her iced latte. "I was going to, honestly, I just--" She cut herself off as she felt her phone vibrate.

Trevor: Have you talked with Hughes yet?

Luke's eyes flicker down to her phone. Who the hell is Trevor, and how does he know about him? A hint of jealously resides in him. It goes away when her looks back up at her. His curiosity about Trevor subsided as he really took in her face. She had light freckles on her cheeks, three sets of earrings in her ears that were all gold, and her lips were perfectly arched with liner, making them look so kissable-----

"Sorry, my nosey friend. I was trying to say that I was going to but was afraid you wouldn't remember me, Mr. Big Leagues." She said, snapping him back into the conversation.

He gave her a soft smile. "You were the only person on staff I enjoyed talking to; you were pretty." His sentence stops as she giggles. "Pretty memorable! I mean, you are pretty, but you know what? I am going to stop while I am ahead. I need this caffeine." He says, rambling, then cutting himself off to stop the embarrassment.

"Don't get all shy on me now, Lu," Hallie tells him, nudging his hand with hers. He normally hated that nickname until now. She picks up her fork to cut a piece of the cinnamon roll, plopping it in her mouth.

"So, you work for the Devils specifically now or..." Luke baits, hoping she doesn't have a crazy clause in her contract about dating players if she did work for just the Devils.

"My role is under Emily Kaplan. She's my boss. We work for ESPN and then go kind of wherever the network needs us. I'm currently working with Metro division teams. My time recently has been split between New York and New Jersey. I then write some articles if needed, but it's rare since I’m newer," She explains as he intently listens. He takes in everything: her voice, how she is talking with her hands, how her eyes crinkle up, how animated her expressions are.

“That’s amazing. I’m glad you’re here. I mean, you deserve it after how hard you worked at Umich. But I’m glad that you’re specifically here….” He trails off, stealing a piece of cinnamon bun. “Don’t tell Keefe or Nico I had sweets,” He mumbles as Hallie stirs her coffee.

“Your secrets are safe with me. I— I’m glad that I was memorable for you. You were definitely memorable for me,” She tells him, as he quirks a brow towards her.

“Really? In what way, Sunshine?” He asks, teasingly, hoping to get something more out of her.

“Well your cellys for one. The violin celly is still one of the best ones I’ve ever seen. I remember you running from the media girls all the time like toddler with Duker. The amount of times Gab had to convince me to convince you to answer the damn questions. Speaking of questions, my favorite— the if it could rain anything you wanted, what would it be. You were so sassy in that and I just found it so endearing,” Hallie rambles as Luke cracks a smile.

“I thought those questions were so dumb sometimes. The rain one is true! I would want it to flood everyday so I didn’t have to go to class. I did like the kitchen utensil question — I still think I’d be a machete,” He says, earning a smile from Hallie.

“Luke, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, a machete is very unlike you! Mr. I don’t fight I’m too scared,” She retorted in a different voice, impersonating him as he laughed. “Yeah….. I think I would be like a spoon or something,” He said, them both laughing as he took a sip of coffee.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The pair had caught up for the full 45 minutes before morning skate. Hallie eating most of the cinnamon roll with small slivers left for Luke. It was nice, refreshing even, to catch up. Hallie never lied, she wasn’t very close to him in college, it would be unprofessional.

But, since she technically doesn’t directly work for the Devils…… her mind opens up to the possibility. He was kind. He was the same Luke from almost 3 years ago; genuine, talkative, soft but in a manly way. She didn’t have a crush on him in college (even though she did find him attractive), but right now in this moment — she felt a spark.

“We should go before Amanda thinks you’re late,” Luke tells her as he picks up the plate. Hallie looks up to see him putting away the breakfast silverware and plate, and she stands up to get her stuff and pick up the coffees. It was almost domestic.

She meets him at the door, passing his coffee over to him as he opens the door. She looks back, smiles, “Thank you!” He looked into her honey brown eyes and felt the deja vu all over again from the first time he held the door almost three years ago. “No problem, sunshine.”

They walk to across the street to the arena together. He gave her a mini tour of the practice facility as she took mental notes of where everything was. She’d look up to see Luke looking at her when he spoke, and then she would look away to hide the pink on her cheeks.

“And to finish off the grand tour! This is where the torture… I mean media! happens,” Luke says jokingly as Hallie pokes his side. “Just because it’s torture for you doesn’t mean it’s not work for me!”

She sees Amanda walk up to them as Hallie moves away from him. Hoping it wasn’t noticeable to either of them.

“Hallie! I see that Rusty has shown you around the practice facility?” Amanda says, throwing a wink to Luke as he scratches the back of his neck. “I’m— I’m going to go, see you around, Hal,” He tells the two as Hallie waves him off. Small smile on her face as a new nickname is unlocked for both of them.

“Rusty? I got to know where that came from. But yeah, ran into each other in the parking lot and he wanted to show me around,” Hallie tells her coworker as Amanda leads them to watch practice.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Practice was relatively quick. 2 hours of talking, planning and figuring out the schedule for the upcoming week. It was nice to watch practice again, after a few week hiatus from not being able to watch the Rangers practice due to scheduling problems. She liked the family dynamic the Devils had. It was hard not to let her gaze linger onto his for too long. His skating had always been effortless and she loved to watch it in person. He was calm, collected, calculated on the ice.

Luke could feel her eyes on him while he skated. It gave him motivation to be better. When he walked into the locker room, the single guys talked about her after practice. “So, new reporter huh? She’s hot,” Dawson said, looking to Nico.

Nico, knowing of the little crush Luke had on the reporter from an inside source (JACK), decided to stir the pot. “Oh yeah. She’s gorgeous. Can’t wait for my interview, what about you Luke?” He questioned, and Luke gave a hard glare to the pair.

“She is— a friend. I don’t want her to become locker room talk,” Luke told them, jealousy laced in his voice.

“All right, I respect it. Is she single though?” Dawson asked as they packed up their stuff before heading to media.

Luke thought on his feet, not even thinking through his whole idea, “She’s not.”

Nico smirked, fist bumping Bratt as he passed by. “Oh really?” Luke shrugged, “Yeah, has had a boyfriend since college.” Dawson gave Luke a grin, causing Luke to tilt his head in confusion. “You just outted yourself big time bud, not only are you a bad liar, you are even worse at hiding your feelings. Better ask her out now before someone else does,” The guys laughed as Luke turned as shade of pink at the words.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Good job today Hallie, Nico appreciated your time.” Amanda told her as they walked to their cars. Hallie smiled, “Just doing my job. I’ll see ya on Wednesday? I have to go to MSG tomorrow and then I have Tuesday off before the two games later this week.”

“Sounds good. See you Wednesday!” Amanda says as she goes to her car.

Hallie gets into her car, happy that her first morning skate went smoothly. She pulls out of her spot and starts her drive home. Luke runs out into the garage to try and catch Hallie before she left. The guys made a solid point in the locker room and he needed to make a move, quick. But by the time he got to garage, her car was gone.

Now, he walked to his car. Getting inside and turning the key into the car, the radio played a song that he recognized from his times on the lake.

Springsteen by Eric Church.

He hummed the tune while pulling out of his parking spot to drive back to the apartment. Siri notified the car that Like got a text from Quinn, and read it out loud:

Quinn: Heard sunshine is back in your life… going to do anything about it? Or dance around it like the last time?

That was it, he was going to man up and make a bolder move, as soon as the next time he saw her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

taglist: @dancerbailey3 @hwalllllllelujah @chiblackhawks @cosmichughes

[just-j-really]

So I've been rotating this idea in my brain since December. It is WIDLY out of season but I am posting anyway. Time has no power over me.

Dream as the boyfriend who gets dumped 90% of the way through the Hallmark movie. Dream is, even in his own mind, this arrogant, moody guy who's a little too obsessed with his job (very high up in the publishing industry). He's not entirely sure how he managed to convince Hob, who's this cheerful, bouncy extrovert and has essentially been Dream's personal Manic Pixie Dream Boy the entire time they've known each other, to go on a SINGLE date with him, let alone be his boyfriend.

And Hob always goes home to see his family for like two weeks at Christmas, it's super important to him. Dream can't afford to be away from work for that long but says Hob should go before him, he'll be there for Christmas itself. Only, the day before Hob's supposed to leave, Dream stands him up for a dinner date (he was at work) and they get in a huge fight about it. The air between them is still very frosty as Hob packs his things and leaves the next morning.

And then Dream spends the next few days with his social media being just. Flooded with pictures of Hob doing Hallmark Christmas activities. He's clearly having a great time. This woman keeps popping up in his photos, and they look so happy together, covered in snow from a snowball fight, sipping hot chocolate at a crowded bar, one video someone else must have taken of them chasing each other around a skating rink, laughing so hard they crash into each other and fall over. Between the photos and the fact that Hob's still texting Dream this whole time, Dream puts together that this is Eleanor, Hob's childhood best friend who he lost touch with when her family moved away unexpectedly.

Hob's talked to Dream about Eleanor before, how close they were and how horrible it was that he never got a chance to say goodbye, or figure out a way to stay in touch (she had super strict parents). Dream has always kinda suspected that there was a layer of 'mutual first crush, but neither of us were really sure where to go from there and the whole thing got brutally ripped out from under us before we could figure it out' to the whole situation as well.

And here they are. They've found each other again, against all odds, they're so clearly happy together, and Eleanor's doing all this fun exciting stuff with Hob that Dream would only be a huge grump about. By the time Dream goes to meet up with Hob, he's already got a whole story in his head of how this is going to go: Hob will tell him he's found someone much better for him and dump him, as Dream deserves.

So when he approaches Hob's parents’ house at like 7pm on December 23rd, and finds Hob and Eleanor talking quietly on the porch, he's just resigned, and fully expecting to end up standing there and watching while they have a Hallmark-movie snow-gently-falling kiss.

Instead, Hob looks up, notices Dream, and immediately just BARRELS into him and hugs him so hard his feet lift off the ground, and before he's really processed that he's the one getting the snow-covered, end-of-the-movie, I-missed-you-so-much kiss. Hob's incredibly enthusiastic and smiling too hard to kiss him properly, and eventually they both wind up in a snowdrift.

And Dream’s just. Not entirely processing as Eleanor greets him (and seems genuinely happy to meet him). And then Hob introduces him to his parents (and they seem happy to meet him, too). And everyone’s acting like he's a wanted part of this gathering, and they're so happy he was able to make it, and Hob's gotten them tickets for some community theater Christmas Carol thing because he knows how much Dream likes earnest-if-amateur art… And a few hours later Dream and Hob are cuddled together on a couch with coco doing some excessively cute Christmas Activity. Wrapping the last few presents while a Christmas movie plays quietly in the background or something. Eleanor has gone home, Hob's parents have gone to bed, so it's just them when Hob softly thanks him for being able to make it at all, and apologizes for the way he left things.

And none of this is how the story is supposed to go.

And I think Dream just breaks down, and Hob's eventually able to get the whole ‘I assumed you'd want to break up with me and date your obvious One True Love, I am terrible’ story out of him. 

And there is a certain amount of genuinely upset ‘ok it hurts that you think I think something so horrible about you’ from Hob. But he pretty quickly figures out that no, Dream’s self-esteem is actually that low; he genuinely thinks ‘so terrible that you'd be morally correct to cheat on him’ is just. An objective fact about himself. 

Which leads to Hob being like “You realize I'm dating you on purpose, right? I like how passionate you are about your job. I like your confidence. I like that you keep me grounded.” And basically just runs down all these traits Dream assumes are his own flaws, only Hob’s talking about them like they’re desirable. As though Dream is his happily-ever-after perfect love.

So, just for a moment, Dream lets himself believe that he could be. And it gets easier and easier to believe as the welcome he received from Hob’s family and friends just continues for the rest of his visit, as he’s easily brought in to assorted Charming Hallmark Christmas Activities and realizes Hob was specifically saving the activities he thought Dream would like for when Dream would be there, as he and Hob return to their normal lives in the Big City and Hob is still happy to be with him, still willing to resolve whatever conflicts come up instead of just giving up.

(And he finds it very easy to believe on New Year’s Eve, when Hob goes for an absolutely over-the-top grand gesture stroke of midnight proposal.)

[shizuturnspages]

concept: yandere genshin chars with reader that travels worlds (kinda similar to traveler in a way??) they end up in teyvat since their goal is to see everything that different worlds have to offer, and they end up making friends n stuff, but once the journey's over and they're content, they're ready to move onto the next world. like, due to being super long-lived and traveling from one place to another, they don't really get attached to ppl so it's easy for them to quickly move on? i'm a huge kaveh fan so maybe this concept with yandere kaveh, and if i can ask for a few more, wanderer and diluc??

btw, i've sent in a few requests before and i really wanted to say that i love the way you write all of this!! esp. how wanderer is written, i love the small ball of abandonment issues sm

The World Ends With You

Synopsis: You are a traveler—not just across lands, but across worlds. Teyvat is merely another stop in your journey, another world to explore and appreciate before leaving it behind. Friendships are made, bonds are formed, but none of them are meant to last. It’s time to move on. But some people don’t understand. Some people refuse to let you go. Pairings: [Separate] Yandere Kaveh, Wanderer, Diluc x Traveller Reader

Kaveh – A Home That Waits for You

Kaveh was never meant to be permanent in your life, nor you in his. You were merely passing through Sumeru, delighting in the architecture, the artistry, the people. He, with his passionate speeches and expressive hands that sketched his dreams into reality, was a fascinating person to befriend. You admired his work, listened to his woes, laughed at his dramatic exasperation, and somehow—somewhere along the way—you became a fixture in his world.

He should’ve known it was too good to last.

When you told him of your departure, the words did not register at first. He blinked at you, his lips parting slightly as if you’d just uttered something incomprehensible. “You’re leaving?” he echoed, a nervous chuckle escaping. “What, taking a trip somewhere? You know, I can help you plan—”

And then you explained. That Teyvat had been beautiful, wonderful even, but it was time to move on. That your journey wasn’t meant to stop here, that there were countless other worlds to see. That this wasn’t goodbye forever, but a farewell nonetheless.

The light in his eyes dimmed. His fingers twitched at his sides, and his expression froze into something unnervingly blank. “I see,” he murmured. He didn’t argue. He didn’t plead. He simply smiled, but it was strained, forced, something fragile trying desperately not to shatter.

He let you believe that everything was fine. That he accepted it. That he understood.

Until the day of your departure came… and your body refused to move.

The ceiling above you was familiar yet unfamiliar—your room, but not quite right. Your limbs were sluggish, your mind foggy, and as you tried to sit up, a pair of arms gently pushed you back down. Kaveh’s red eyes hovered over you, warm and concerned, yet something lurked beneath their soft glow. Something dark.

“You collapsed,” he said, voice soothing. “You must’ve been overexerting yourself. Honestly, you should be more careful.”

Your tongue felt heavy, the words muddled as you tried to protest. But Kaveh only smiled, brushing your hair back with featherlight fingers.

“It’s alright,” he whispered. “Just rest. You don’t have to go anywhere. Not when you have a home here. Not when I’m here.”

And as drowsiness swallowed you whole, his grip tightened.

Wanderer – The One Who Stays

You should have realized how foolish it was to befriend someone like him—someone who had been left behind too many times, someone who clung to anger because it was the only thing that made the emptiness bearable. But you had wanted to believe in him. You had wanted to show him that there was more to the world than the pain of abandonment.

Perhaps, in a cruel twist of irony, you had become his greatest suffering.

When you told him you were leaving, he laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound.

“Oh, that’s funny. That’s real funny.” He crossed his arms, tilting his head as if you’d just told him the most absurd joke. “So, what, after everything, you’re just going to leave?” His voice was sharp, mocking, but underneath it was something raw. “Figures. That’s what people do, isn’t it?”

You tried to explain, to tell him it wasn’t personal, that this was just how your life worked. That you were meant to keep moving forward. That staying was never an option.

But that only made it worse.

So he was never special? He was just another fleeting stop on your endless journey? The realization made something bitter rise in his throat, made his fingers twitch with the urge to lash out, to break something—anything—that would make you understand what you’ve done to him.

Wanderer’s expression darkened, and before you could react, the wind itself turned against you. The world blurred, weightlessness overtaking you as your body was lifted from the ground. A gasp barely left your lips before you were slammed back down, pinned in place by an unseen force. His violet eyes gleamed, cold and unyielding, as he loomed over you.

“No,” he said simply.

It wasn’t a plea. It wasn’t a request. It was a command, absolute and final.

“People leave me,” he murmured, voice quieter now, yet no less dangerous. “They always leave. But you won’t.” His fingers curled around your wrist, his grip tight, unrelenting. “I won’t let you.”

And he meant it. You won’t. Whether it’s by force, manipulation, or something far worse, he will make sure of it.

He was done being abandoned.

Diluc – A Cage of Protection

Diluc had never been good at letting go.

Losing his father had taught him that. Losing everything he had built for himself had reinforced it. And now, standing before you, hearing you speak of leaving as if it were the easiest thing in the world—he felt that same, familiar terror clawing its way into his chest.

“No,” he said, the word escaping before he could stop it.

You gave him a sad smile. “Diluc—”

“I said no.” His voice was firm, brooking no argument. His gloved hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You’re not leaving.”

You sighed, patient but unwavering. “I have to. This is just who I am. I can’t stay in one place forever.”

But those words only solidified the dread in his heart. Because if you left now, you would never return. And Diluc—Diluc could not bear to lose someone again.

The decision was made before you could even realize it.

The manor was large, secluded, and now, inescapable. The room he prepared for you was comfortable, filled with everything you could possibly need. The windows were reinforced, the doors locked from the outside.

He visited you often, always carrying warmth in his touch, always gentle even as you screamed at him, even as you begged.

“You don’t understand,” he murmured, brushing your tears away with a gloved hand. “I can’t let you go. I won’t.”

Because if you left, it would destroy him.

And he would not allow that to happen.

Not again.

Never again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[ladyloveandjustice]

Mental Illness in Anime

I saw someone say Komi Can't Communicate is the only anime they've ever seen that talks about mental illness and that's kinda sad, so for you to not end in the same boat, I've decided to put together an overview of mental illness in anime, what I'd recommend, what comes with caveats, and so on.

It's a little nebulous what "talks about mental illness" means as lots of anime depict characters who are very obviously depressed, traumatized and even suicidal (suicide will be mentioned a lot in this list, so watch out for that), but don't directly name mental illness. It is very stigmatized in Japan, even moreso than many other countries, you don't see much talk about therapy and so on.

However, naturally there are many Japanese people who are mental health advocates, and I found an interview with Makoto Kageyama, a mental health awareness advocate who volunteered at Aokigahara forest. He points out anime he feels deal with mental illness. One we'll cover fully, many of them I haven't watched:

I think the most accurate and positive portrayals I got were actually from Kiriyama Rei (March Comes in Like a Lion), Naruse Jun (The Anthem of the Heart), Miyamura Miyako (ef: A Tale of Memories), Takeya Yuki (School-Live!) and Smile (Ping Pong: The Animation)

I'm super open to suggestions for additions, and might be adding them as reblogs and under the cut.

I'll also be making a post on mental illness in manga if this post does well, which I will link here when I post it.

So I'll start:

Anime that directly discusses mental illness:

March Comes in Like a Lion- not only is the main character one of the most accurate depictions of depression I've ever seen, it's the rare anime that actually talks about counseling, showing a traumatized character attending counseling and slowly getting back on her feet.

Orange--it...certainly is about mental illness, but it's a pretty mixed/problematic one because it seems to be confused by how mental illness works at times. It centers around a character who's suicidally depressed and his friend's efforts to save him after receiving a time travel message about his future suicide. It also does mention offhand that this character was supposed to go to therapy and is skipping out at one point. But yeah, how it handles it is...not always great. It kind of gives an impression that if you try hard enough you can "fix" someone's suicidal depression. With friendship. I guess. You have been warned.

I haven't watched it in a really long time, so it might even be worse than I remember. But I'm including it bc I definitely cried and felt parts of it were very relatable when I saw it way back when. so there's some resonant stuff there.

Monster: Kind of mixed, but it's definitely notable as an anime that not only has a psychiatrist as a major character, but also shows prominent characters going to therapy and getting better. Characters go to him for alcoholism, depression, PTSD (PTSD is not named but yeah it's definitely PTSD). At one point he helps a main character recover some repressed traumatic memories.

What makes it mixed is that while several heroes definitely are mentally ill in some way, the (complex) antagonist of the series also has some sort of mental health condition , and the story is often weirdly muddled about it. At one point they make it out like he has Dissociative Identity Disorder (calling it "split personality") but then he never shows any symptoms of that and it's kind of dropped and not bought up again. He does definitely have repressed traumatic memories though, so maybe that's all they were getting at but said it very badly.

A heroic character that actually seems to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and YMMV in how it's handled and how accurate it is. It's a "the other personality is violent" one, but rather than the other personality being evil, it's. a defense mechanism, and the violence is always in self defense or defense of others..

Sort of names the problem:

My New Boss is Goofy: One of the main characters is recovering from an abusive boss, and definitely has anxiety attacks and flashbacks as a result. This is directly named as "trauma" (though much like in the West where the loan word came from, anime characters use the words to refer to minor things that aren't mental illness too. But in this case it's treated very seriously). At any rate, the entire anime is about others helping the MC slowly recover with his new boss and friends showing immense compassion for his anxiety and other problems. Here's a good article going into it!

Anime that focuses on social anxiety:

I think what stands out about Komi is that it directly says she has a communication disorder, but tons of anime focus on characters with social anxiety, and even state what the problem is directly.

Bocchi the Rock- The girl with the social anxiety is the main character and not the bland self insert guy who has a crush on her?, amazing. it lets her be a mess too? whaaat. Yeah, Bocchi does say directly she has severe social anxiety, and the series is very relatable in how it explores that. There are a lot of gags about it, but in a knowing, sympathetic way. Her recovery is realistically slow, and sometimes she backslides. She talks directly about her social anxiety, using the term.

Tsuritama: MC's social anxiety is so bad he can have panic attacks when people talk to him...the attacks are also represented in this really interesting way where they have water come in to drown him.

My Roommate is a Cat: Man dealing with social anxiety slowly recovers with the help of his cat. It's cute. Here's an article going into it!

Anime that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonates:

Natsume's Book of Friends: I wrote an entire article about how relatable it is to me and my mental illness, how it uses the characters seeing yokai as metaphor for mental ilness at times (Natsume was textually mistreated by so-called guardians who thought he "wasn't right in the head" and his grandmother was often called that too) but also Natsume shows a lot of textual symptoms of trauma (possibly PTSD), depression and so on, and they're explored very poignantly. Here is my article: “The Courage to Speak”: Mental illness and recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Probably one of the most poignant explorations of what it means to be depressed and traumatized as a teenage girl. Several moments with Utena herself resonate, starting with when she was a child and declares she doesn't want to go on living, Anthy is also...dealing with a lot, and it's powerful how the show goes into it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion-- Many characters in it show symptoms of mental illness. Though it isn't named as depression directly (i think?), but Shinji shows every symptom you can think of, and the director Anno has said that he was extremely depressed while making it and channeled a lot of that into the characters, and we definitely see his mental journey for the better very strongly reflected in the reboot.

Kyousougiga: One of the main characters is suicidally depressed (this one is graphic, because he commits suicide on screen...only it turns out he can't die), and his journey towards becoming okay with living is a focus and was very resonant to me.

She and Her Cat: A short anime about a girl who definitely has depression and how her cat helps her. Rather simplistic ending but it's good otherwise. CW animal death too, but in a very gentle way.

Haibane Renmei: It deals with suicidal depression and other mental health struggles in a pretty intense way, it's touching, but if you have triggers consider looking into it.

Fruits Basket: Truly a cocktail of mental illnesses among the cast. YMMV on how it's handled but some parts really resonate. These articles go into it:

The Always Smiling Girl: How Tohru critiques toxic positivity

“A Man Who Can Experience His Feelings”: Fruits Basket, toxic masculinity, and mental health

Colorful: This is a submission from Nickyenchilada from the notes of this post: "I would also recommend the movie/novel Colorful. I think YMMV on how it handles the central issue of suicide but I think it does portray how even kids can be thrust into very complex situations without necessary outlets for coping with them."

Vinland Saga: This was an addition I got from a discord conversation, the entire second season explore the main character's PTSD

Yuri on Ice- A conversation on discord reminded me that a lot of people read Yuri as having an anxiety disorder, which I can totally see!

A Silent Voice- a submission from @boku-no-anime-phase who says: "I think it deserves its own shout out! This movie is nuanced, gentle, beautifully told and brimming with hope. I love the fact that just like in real life, things don't resolve particularly easily; but the characters make important progress that's rewarding to watch. TW for suicide discussion, ideation and attempt".

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "YMMV but there's an arc that deals with bullying and memory loss where a character who deals with those things is supported and encouraged through it".

My Happy Marriage - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "also YMMV but I think there were some lovely moments in this where you can see Miyo beginning to heal from her trauma and abuse, and learn to trust."

Anime Feminist has a whole host of articles on mental health in anime and they're all here. It covers a lot of different anime I don't know about or didn't mention and offers a lot of cool perspectives, so check 'em out! Here's a few that stuck out to me:

Finding Inner Magic: Depression in The Ancient Magus’ Bride

(I don't like this anime's narrative due to the issue with the ending pointed out in this article, but it did have resonant moments of exploring depression).

How Clean Freak! Aoyama-kun compassionately handles mental illness

The Sound of Depression: Liminal spaces, sound design, and Super Cub

From Yandere Girlfriends to Social Anxiety: Handling mental illness in The Future Diary and A Silent Voice

Footnote on Hikikomori in anime:

Any anime that focuses on Hikikomori characters are dealing with characters that are mentally ill, as being so depressed/traumatized/agoraphobic/anxious you can't even leave your room or house is obviously not mentally healthy. But what really matters is how that’s handled and if these issues are explained, as Makoto Kageyama notes:

Usually, the most common issues I’ve seen covered is the “hikikomori phenomena” and light eating disorders. Basically, a bullied character that becomes a recluse out of social anxiety, but… The characters don’t usually get shown correctly, since their issues are not explained properly and basically it ends up with a “Hey, see? People are not that bad, we are your friends!” and “Yay, I have friends, I am cured and I can trust others again!” Which is not the case, because real hikikomori can take a lot of talk and patience to get them out and when they get back to normal society (if they do), they become very wary of others. And ironically, “hikikomori” has also been used as a “moe trait” in anime even though it’s a mental health issue.

One I saw a lot of people namedrop as handling it well when I googled around was Welcome to the NHK, though I haven't seen it. But, if you look at Nickyenchilada's take in the comments to this post, it's mentioned as being resonant and it's noted that the recovery is not an easy fix, and it's also noted that several characters in the story are mentally ill.

Bonus list:

Neurodiversity in Anime- (that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonate)

I initially didn't include a neurodiversity section in this post because I honestly could not think of any anime that directly talks about neurodiversity or has a textually neurodivergent character.

(However, there are manga that actually do! I pointed some out in my Mental Illness and Neurodiversity in Manga post I did to complement this one!)

You can also read some articles about neurodiversity in anime here

And the list of characters that can simply be read as neurodivergent is huge, and if I tried to list every popular read it would be endless, plus I don't feel comfortable "diagnosing" any characters with developmental disorders I don't personally have. However, I am willing to take suggestions from others on this one, so here are a few!

Mob Psycho 100 - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says " Mob is autistic and I will die on this hill; the trouble he has with fitting in, relating to others and knowing the right things to do imo stems directly from that."

Princess Jellyfish - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says "I'd be willing to bet that all the women who live in that apartment are neurodivergent. They all have their special interests and they live together in mutual neurodivergent infodumping bliss and it's wonderful. (Unrelated but TW for sexual assault and some transphobia)"

Chihayafuru- submission by @noisepartythumpingmusic who says "It's never noted explicitly, but I firmly believe the main character of Chihayafuru has ADHD, which is perfect for a main character of a sports" josei. As someone who does have ADHD, I personally can totally see that read of Chihaya (the main character)!

Anti-recommendations (as in seems potentially resonant but then drop the ball hard, because if I listed all the anime that's blatantly gross about mental illness from the second the subject comes up we'd be here all day) (Dead Dove Do Not Eat)

Wonder Egg Priority: Starts out like it's going to be a nuanced exploration of recovering from abuse, suicidal depression, and so on, only to end up incredibly stupid and offensive. The writer also believes some stupid and misogynist things about "reasons" girls commit suicide. This article goes into it a little.

Your Lie In April: Depiction of depression and trauma is completely undermined by how all the characters tell the MC he needs to get over it because his talent for piano is more important, and the clumsy, gross take on forgiving your abuser, and so many other things. This article goes into it.

---

And that's it for now! Again. I might be updating this with new stuff based on feedback or me remembering something I missed, through both updates and adding stuff under the cut.

[kedreeva]

Okay, I haven't wanted to talk much about the peafowl lately, been just kinda dealing with Stan's passing, but! I have news I don't want to keep quiet, so here we go with a little announcement.

I've been helping a friend of mine with a bunch of peafowl genetics work lately, as he's trying to prove out a really neat phenotype of speckled and white peafowl that showed up in his breeding stock, and he just spent tens of thousands of dollars importing two new morphs from Europe: European violet (aka, my dream morph) and Ultramarine (pretty and only otherwise being produced by TWO breeders in the WORLD). When Bill heard about Stan, he asked if I was going to go to a large farm auction that's a few hours from my house. I don't, normally, since it's a few hours from my house and the auctions usually make me kinda sad when it comes to peafowl (they stress out SO MUCH) even though it's cool to see how much they're going for at a wider audience auction.

Then he told me he would be going, and that if I wanted to come down the day before the auction, he'd bring me another male, to replace Stan. I had already made plans to hang onto Bismuth, at least for a few years, and to pick up babies from Indie x Arcana/Eclipse this november, including a male, so I didn't really need another male, and don't have the cash for one anyway. He said no, he meant one of the split EUV males from last year's first-USA breeding. For free. As a thank you for helping him.

To put this into perspective, importing the birds is a ~$10k affair, per bird. I had fully resigned myself to never even SEEING one of these birds in person, much less ever owning one. Even if someone else got them imported, they would remain thousands of dollars for the first few years, and quickly become mixed with other stuff, potentially even be lost by people breeding to purple. He went in on a group import with another breeder and they have both just started selling the full-color birds for over $2k apiece (alongside Ultramarine, which before their import was bred by TWO people in the WORLD, and babies from that are going for almost $7k each, but EUV is more widely spread). Splits (like the one I will be getting) are being let go for $750. This is also the color I have desperately wanted since I first saw them 8-10 years ago (though I believe they've been around slightly longer), but that I had resigned myself to never actually having.

To put it mildly, I'm probably going to burst into tears when I see Bill and this bird. It's going to be super embarrassing. And then I'm going to have to build more pens. And then I'm going to have to get as plain-blue, pure-indian blue hens as I can find, and become one of the most serious curators of plain pure EUV in the US, because I know the other two who have them currently will be outcrossing to other patterns/colors immediately and the people buying them will likely be doing the same, and everyone will be clamoring to make them into high Spaldings ASAP, or won't know not to cross them to purples and wreck the color.

Here's the sire cock, the one imported:

You will notice that this bird is purple in full sun, from the sunny side. That's the main difference between European violet and US purple- a US purple looks blue until you get the right angle on the sun vs the bird vs the camera, and you have to get the bird between you and the sun, so the purple is often in the shadow side- visible to the eye but not the camera. EUV is just purple. Even from the sunny side!!

And the Ultramarine, in case you were wondering about their color:

(pics reposted w/ permission from Bill)

The breeder is Spring Creek Peafowl, and in case anyone is secretly a peafowl breeder or knows other peafowl breeders with too much money that want in on a new color morph, he DOES have UM pairs and EUV hens (and more split males) for sale currently, for less than the only other person in the US that has them. They're still pricey, but cheaper. I WISH I had the extra to have my friend add on an EUV hen, but alas, I will have to wait to make my own in a few years. Even just the opportunity to do so is something I never expected to have!

[squinch-depraved]

ok. now we need the whole damn gang getting their virginity taken, ted but like he’s a little more experienced (knowledge wise) and understands the female body ⁉️

here you go my lovelies part 5 of the virgin college au (new dividers how do we like them)

so.

ted knocks on your door, only a little bit nervous

and you answer it, immediately rolling your eyes and letting him in just like you did with his friends

"let me fucking guess," you start, already knowing what he's here for

"i can do better than them," he cuts you off

"i've done research, i've talked to my friends that are girls, i know i could make you feel better than they did for my first time."

his refusal to beat around the bush takes you by surprise, and you wince as you look around to see if your roommate heard him

"a-alright, ted. follow me, just... shut up. my roommate hasn't left yet."

he nods, grinning, and trails behind you all the way down the hallway and into your room, setting his stuff down on the floor next to the doorway as you crawl onto your bed

jesus, schlatt wasn't wrong. there are so many stuffed animals, ted thinks to himself as he stands there awkwardly, awaiting your instructions

"he talked about my fucking plushies, didn't he," you chuckle, noticing his expression as he tried to count how many there were

"to be fair, he said it was really cute. and he wasn't wrong," ted replies smoothly, walking to sit on the edge of the mattress

"does he know about charlie?" you ask quietly, unable to look him in the eyes

"the text you sent him. he read it."

"fuck," you sigh, running one hand through your hair

"i hope it doesn't cause problems between you guys. schlatt and i have talked; we're not exclusive. i told him that. he can't be mad."

"i don't think he's mad at you," ted reassures you. "i think he's a little hurt that charlie went to you the first weekend he wasn't here, but he'll probably get over it pretty quickly. he's not the type to hold a grudge like that, especially against one of his best friends and the person who took his virginity."

you ponder his words, shaking your head to clear yourself of the knowledge and focus on the task at hand after a few moments

"what exactly makes you think you could fuck me better?" you ask, reclining onto the pile of stuffed animals and stretching your legs out in front of you

ted stammers for only a second, then swiftly responds with, "for starters, i've heard quite a bit about you from schlatt and charlie. kinda goin' into this with a head start, don't you think?"

"'head start' as in you'll finish first? no thanks," you banter

but ted's quick to quip back

"i don't plan on finishing first. but even if i do, i'll go until i make you cum. i'll use my mouth, fingers, whatever you want. hell, i'll keep going with my cock if that's what you need. probably get super overstimulated but i want to make you feel good. i need to do better than them."

you open and close your mouth a few times, trying to find the right response

"y-you're really competitive, huh?"

he laughs quietly and shakes his head

"i just think someone like you deserves to be treated well. more so than those two can do for you."

"you know, you're really lucky you're attractive? because if you weren't, this whole confident, never-been-touched-before-but-i-know-what-i'm-doing schtick would be incredibly annoying."

ted grins, a goofy smile that warms your heart slightly, and jokes, "it'll get annoying fast. just wait."

with a snort, you motion for him to crawl on top of you, and he does, staring down at you with his gorgeous hazel eyes for a few seconds before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips

"mmmfhhh," you moan against him as he gently bites down onto your bottom lip

ted smirks into the kiss and uses one hand to cup your face as he slides his tongue into your mouth, other hand reaching under your shirt to feel for your chest

once he takes your nipple between his fingers, you gasp and arch your back slightly, desperate for more contact

frustratedly, you withdraw from the kiss, a string of saliva leaving you connected

he watches with a hungry smile as you peel your top off, taking the strings of your sweatpants in one hand and tugging on them gently

"greedy!!" you tease him

but you indulge him, slipping out of the pants and tossing them off the side of the bed

his breath hitches in his throat at the sight of you nearly bare in front of him, clad in only a skimpy pair of panties that he so desperately wants to rip off with his teeth

"thought you said you know what you're doing," you snicker, amused by his vacant expression

your joke snaps him out of it, and he pulls his shirt over his head with one arm, reaching behind him to grab the fabric from the nape of his neck and paying no mind as it falls to the floor

"f-fuck," you stutter

he's thrown you off a bit with how smooth the motion is, not to even mention how good he looks just wearing jeans

ted notices your hesitation and grins, spreading your legs open and crawling in between them

"they weren't this forward, were they?"

you let out a shaky breath as he plants a sloppy kiss to your neck

"no," you sigh. "they weren't."

"mm. bet you had to tell them what to do."

"yeah, i did. schlatt was okay, he got the hang of it, but charlie was- agh! fuck!" you hiss when he takes your flesh between his teeth and bites down, sucking a dark mark into it

"ted!!"

"what?" he purrs, pulling away to look at you

usually you were the one that left the bruises

now, whenever you saw schlatt, you'd have even more explaining to do

when he realizes you're unable to come up with anything to say, he smirks down at you and moves to kiss your chest

"you were telling me about charlie?" he asks before taking one nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it

"yeah. um, fuck. uhh, he was... he was good," you stammer, rolling your eyes back into your head slightly

"he didn't give a lot of details. i'm guessing he's more of a gentleman than schlatt?"

your face heats up even more at his words uttered against your warm skin

"you could say that." you decide to not say anything else in case charlie was embarrassed

"fuck, you're so hot," he groans as he presses his face between your breasts and brings them to sandwich his head

a laugh escapes you, the melodic sound filling the air and causing ted to raise his head to look at you

"this isn't sexy, is it?"

you giggle again and smooth down a wild tuft of his hair

"not in the usual way, but your awkward eagerness to please is kind of turning me on."

he grins again and sits up, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off

you try not to, but you can't help but stare at his clothed bulge

he looks so sexy in his boxers, a small happy trail now complimenting his chest hair

"what?" he asks, smile faltering for just a moment when you can't do anything but admire him

"n-nothing. i just-"

"doesn't matter," he cuts you off by clambering on top of you again, leaning in to make out with you passionately

a surprised, yet aroused moan slips from your lips, and he uses one hand to tug off your panties in a seamless motion that you swear he has to have practiced before

"so wet for me already, damn."

you can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back and spreads your folds open with two fingers

"gonna taste you now."

"mhm," you answer absent-mindedly, too focused on the way his cock twitches through his boxers

ted stares up at you once he positions himself right in front of your cunt, giving you a look of pure desire

gingerly, he scoots closer and presses a wet kiss to your clit, eyes flicking between your dazed expression and your soaked pussy to make sure he's doing it right

eventually he starts dipping his tongue into your hole, savoring the taste and mirroring you by groaning softly into you

you're whining and moaning and bucking your hips in pure bliss, because, for once, you don't have to teach this fool how to make you feel good

he's incredible; better than schlatt was at first

"ted!! fuck, fuck me, oh my god," you babble, bringing your legs to wrap around his head

"mm, not yet. enjoying how sweet you are on my tongue," he coos into your dripping core

with an agonized wail, you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him even closer against your cunt

"this isn't fair," you whine, yet you smile dreamily as you say it

"i think it is. you put up with so many guys that don't know what they're doing, and finally one comes along who did the research to know how to make you feel good, and you just wanna rush things. it's sad."

"research won't mean shit if i get you worked up enough," you chuckle breathlessly

"maybe. we'll have to see," he muses, shoving his face back between your thighs

the unexpectedness of the whole situation makes it surprisingly easy for you to cum

ted picks up on your signals, speeding up when you start arching your back, curling his fingers inside you when you begin to scream his name

a mess is made all over his face, along with your bedsheets, when you release; stars fleck your vision and pulse in time with your heartbeat, which you can hear clear as day in your ears

"see? now i can fuck you," he pants, immense pride obvious in his tone

"shut the fuck up and take those off," you growl, reaching to tug at the hem of his boxers

he laughs and obliges, pumping himself in one hand and absorbing the look of hunger in your eyes

"fuck, ted," you whisper, excited to take his length, but unsure of how much it would hurt

"oh! hold on," he exclaims, rising from the bed and going to dig into his bag by the door

it takes him a second, and you impatiently blow some hair out of your face as you wait, but he returns with a condom

just tears it open with his teeth and slides it on, with relative ease, considering he's never used one before

once he's wrapped, he slides between your legs again, kissing you one more time before pressing his tip to your entrance

"you ready?"

he sounds so loving, so patient

so it's a shock when you mumble a, "yes," and he pushes into you forcefully, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp and wince

"what's wrong??" he asks, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it to his lips to kiss

"nothing. big. hurts a bit. just go," you spit out rapidly

ted grins and proceeds to start pumping in and out of you, head falling forward as he processes the pleasure he's receiving as your walls envelop him

"fuck, baby!" he grunts once he establishes a brutal pace

"this good?"

"you like how i'm fuckin' you?"

unable to speak, you nod and dig your nails into his back, clawing him up and down

"not bad for my first time, right?" he chuckles

"you- fuck! have got the ego of a god," you gasp, locking your legs around him

"good thing i fuck like one, then, hmm?"

you let out a strangled growl, a bit mad that he actually is as good as he said he'd be, and dig your nails deeper into his back

"you're so fucking annoying," you manage to choke out

"hah! see, told you it'd get annoying fast," he laughs

"god, fuck, ted, i don't- i'm gonna cum again- i'm- fuck..." you ramble, squeezing your legs tighter and tighter around him

"you keep- ngh, clenching like that around me and i'm gonna cum too," he groans, more breathless than before

"fuuuck, teddy!!!" you wail, your whole body shuddering for a moment before going limp

ted just grunts and slams into you a bit harder a few more times, burying himself in you and collapsing onto you, chest heaving

"get off me, you loser," you tease in mock disgust, secretly enjoying the scent of his sweat as it drips down onto you

he rolls to the other side of the bed, smiling, and stares up at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath

you joke with each other for a few minutes before your phone starts ringing

a glance at the screen reveals it's schlatt calling

ted starts getting dressed as soon as he sees who it is

and good thing too, because as soon as you answer, schlatt's voice rings through the phone, audible to both of you even though he's not on speaker

"i'm on my way over right now. we need to fucking talk."

that's all he says before he hangs up

the terrified expression on your face is enough for ted to toss his bag over his shoulder and rest one hand on your bedroom dorknob

"i should probably leave, huh?"

"yeah."

"...cool. we should do this again, though, right?"

a small smile spreads across your face

"...yeah."

[bamsara]

Im not sure why you hate your art style so much...

You're one of my favourite artists. Your Lamb and Narinder are my favourites. I love how you draw them, it's so expressive and nice and pretty and beautiful— just so awesome. Your art really brings them to life. Your Zim and Dib are also my favourites!! I love your art style. It's simple and yet so perfect.

I dislike it because it feels so simple

There's not really anything super notable about it and I often look at other artists styles as 'man I wish I could draw like that' while the artwork doodles I do make are no where near matching what I have in my head. It's too soft and not anatomically correct and inconsistent to the point where people have commented that they see a difference in my art style since talking about wanting to change it, but I haven't changed anything in any way that I draw.

It's good for quick, scribbled comics for storyboarding because of how simple it is. Less detail = faster drawing and I can make the story board quick enough before it leaves my brain.

But for the past few years I've been doing more and more of those than anything else because it's kinda all I'm good at, just making storyboard and shitposts. It's seriously discouraged me from making full illustrations seriously because it just feels flat, the poses are not dynamic, the faces look like anime twinks or your generic Disney cartoon. Personally I think my style looks like the art kid that never got out of their 'how to draw anime' phase

None of my stuff has clean lines, faces are always look chibified or like I'm trying to mimic a Shonen, and backgrounds are completely out of the question; best I can do is scribbles. I just wish my art hit harder, with sharpness and less big eyes and an edgier, more stylistic kind of look

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm happy my art is enjoyed! I'm just not the one enjoying it right now

[pineappleciders]

I loved your older siblings has, can u do more of them ?? :3

south park main 4 with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: of course!!!! i've actually gotten several reqs to do more of these so i'm gonna do the main 4!!! i hope this is what you meant :D also so sorry for this being super late i have too many drafts

stan marsh

ANOTHER SHELLY??? pray for him

his friends have seriously been getting annoyed with how much he complains about his older siblings

you don't beat him up as bad as shelly does but you do shove him out of the way and noogie him and all that. you take his hat off and make fun of his greasy hair and he gets super pissy

always angry about how you always manage to woo your parents over. how sharon treats you like an angel when you're actually an evil dick

you and shelly gang up on him all the time LOL you two plan together in your rooms about how to annoy him. like when his friends are over you constantly open the door randomly just to put him on edge

whenever he's having problems with wendy he always comes to you. you always laugh and make fun of him but you actually give really good relationship advice

despite constantly making fun of him and annoying him you actually always have his back?? when he's getting bullied or he feels scared you're always on the person's ass and ready to jump in front of him at any moment

you'd never admit it though. stan is a little shit but he's a funny evil little shit

kyle broflovski

he peeks into a room to see you playing with ike and smiling and laughing and treating him like a little angel and he compares that to how you treat him and he thinks it's unfair

what he doesn't know is that when he was a baby like ike you were constantly cooing at him and carrying him. you think you would die of embarrassment if your parents showed him pictures of you reading him bedtime stories

he thinks you HATE him. like he is 100% convinced that you are out to get him. i mean you kinda are but it's tough love yk

you hide his hat often because you know he would rather die than go to school without it. he gets all pissed and snatches it when he finds it

calls you stupid and stuff like stereotypical sibling behavior but you're really the only grown-up he can trust with issues. sheila is amazing but she has quite a temper,, you're not that great either but you always help out somehow

tattles on you when you do smth he knows ur not supposed to be. he doesn't take immense joy in being a snitch but he thinks you deserve it

eric cartman

he hates you. you're #1 on his shit-list. like seriously be careful

whines and stamps his foot when you aren't a pushover and actually make him do basic things. like how dare you be a normal human being. he hates liane too but he always clings to her when you're around

whenever you see his friends you like to embarrass him by telling them how much of a mama's boy he is. and it doesn't really work because their opinion of him can't get much lower

is constantly plotting on how to get rid of you. sometimes you find papers in his room that are either extremely complicated or super simple plans to kill you

he also tapes threatening letters to your door sometimes. you're not really scared of him, but after the incident with the tenormans, you started locking your door at night..

his friends are actually quite thankful that there's someone to keep eric in his place now. he actually acts... somewhat more normal now. it's frightening how just having an older sibling can keep him in line

although... not completely. he's still a little devil and you pick him up by his scruff like a kitten whenever you catch him plotting.

kenny mccormick

even if you occasionally lock the door on him, and tease him in his stupid little roleplay outfits, he's still quite thankful to have an elder figure in his life who can take care of him.

admittedly, it's very hard to be mean to kenny and karen, so you typically find yourself bullying kevin the most.

it's never mean-spirited though. living in a household like that requires you to stick together, and you honestly wouldn't trade your siblings for the world

you get a job pretty early to start providing for your family, and you're often forced to bring kenny and the others with you to work at your boring cashier job. kevin likes to help out with restocking while karen and kenny play dolls behind the register

you smack kenny upside the head everytime you catch him reading porno mags.

his friends either think you're awesome or think you're lame. depends on how u act and cartman probably lowkey likes you but doesn't admit it cuz ur poor😭😭

even though you're mean to him u and kenny still chill a lot together. he'll always ask about adult stuff like weed but you never entertain his goofy ideas. he might try to act more grown, but he'll always be your baby brother!!!

[chongoblog]

SCREW IT IM GONNA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A BIT

So it's been like a month since I put up my last big mashup, and the response has been awesome. I wanted to talk about all the little bits I put in there, because frankly, I put a lot of love into it, and I want to share it! Here's the video of the mashup with the music video (which is a big part of it.)

First of all, shoutouts to Shoocharu for the incredible animation for the original MV. I've found him to always have the best Game Grumps animations, and his abilities work perfectly for this music video.

Okay, now just to talk about all the Silly Jokes and Bits and Stuff. A lot of these were noticed by comments (and shoutouts to them! I love seeing people get these)

-Ska Cha Cha is used as a reference to the name of the actual song "Transcendental Cha Cha Cha". Close enough.

-A couple samples are used multiple times at different points in the song. For "Tik Tok", "Ska Cha Cha" and "Down" it makes sense since it's the chorus of the song. However, I also bring back "I'm Blue" and "Toxic" because in the original song, those samples are played over the lyrics "The universe is getting colder, colder. Still every universe somehow got Zumba". Those lyrics are repeated at the end of the song, showing how what was once madness is now being embraced. I thought playing those samples again with the full mix was appropriate.

-And yes, in the two appearances of The Void in the music video, MEGALOVANIA plays because he looks kinda like Sans.

-"words, words, words" was a super interesting inclusion. At first I added it because of the lyric "Just relax..." which is a lyric during that portion of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha. Also, not only did "here's two facts" thematically work well (since the song was about to discuss two separate universes) but it also perfectly aligned rhythmically. Also, that "words, words, words" line might be one of my favorite pre-choruses ever.

-I included Cruel Angel's Thesis at someone else's suggestion, but I'm really glad they suggested it. I actually start it with a somewhat heavy low pass filter before slowly fading off it because I thought it sounded cooler.

-I included "Harder Better Faster Stronger" during that portion because Tom's vocal effects sound similar.

-Cha Cha Slide matches perfectly since the lyrics of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha are also "Slide to the left....slide to the right". Incredibly proud of the little breakdown I included during the mix-up portion.

-"Sometimes this song, it sounds like" segment is referencing myself, since over the years I have developed my own patterns. Sometimes the song does indeed sound like Crawling (plus funny commercial next to it. Again...patterns) and sometimes it does sound like All Star (shoutouts to Star Shop)

-The Mighty B! Theme slaps actually.

-I felt like I had to include the Peanut Butter Jelly snippet, since "it's everything and nothing, it's a baseball bat" sounded almost like it was a direct reference to it. I wanted to include the original Tom Cardy lyric on top of that one both to hammer home the joke and also because I thought the harmonic vocals layered perfectly onto Peanut Butter Jelly Time would make for a nice touch.

-Every time I saw someone notice that I put the "God Dammit" directly after Never Gonna Give You Up to imply that he was mad about getting rick rolled, I gained a year of my life.

-Keeping the "Blink!" from the original song I felt was useful to help kinda punctuate the wildly different samples I was using.

-"Money Game" and "Money Money Money" being played over the French Revolution. Completely unrelated, but have you noticed how much wealth inequality we're facing here in America? That's interesting.

-"Closer" and "Closer" is such an easy joke. In fact it's so easy I've done it before. Did it anyway lmao

-During the big buildup, "Larger Than Life" was used mostly because I hadn't used that song before and I thought it was time. "Dare" was put in because I think that the vocals work really well to naturally create a sense of buildup (unless it's the Live version). "Brain Power" was put in to replicate the noise gate that Tom put on his extended note.

-Monkey Watch and Mr Brightside. Again! Patterns!

-toes

So yeah that's Transcendental Fever Dream. I'm sure if I had more time and excuses to talk about all the nitty gritty details and choices made I'd do it, but I think this is a pretty big breakdown. Something's always felt kinda Big about this one. I think that save for Super Smashup, this is the best mashup I've ever made, and I think it acts as a sort of a culmination of these last 7 years or so of mashups. No idea what the future holds, but if it comes from love, then it's gonna be great.

Thanks for reading.

[crafty-butch]

Embalmed

A short story by me (tw: body horror, self-harm kinda)

Did you know embalming isn't actually that common, worldwide? I didn't. Sure, there are some famous exceptions–looking at you, pharaohs–but embalming random schlubs is mostly a US thing. Plenty of religions ban it outright. Islam, Judaism, several branches of Christianity…

Bear with me. I promise I have a point.

Anyway, I've got no opinion on what God wants us to do with our corpses. I've never been religious. I'm still not, weird as that sounds. But I'm with Islam, Judaism, and several branches of Christianity on this one. Just skip the embalming and bury the body before it starts to rot. It'll be easier for everyone, on the off chance someone decides to bring them back.

No, this isn't a joke. Look, I'm not saying it's likely, okay? I know the stats. Less than twenty confirmed resurrections in the last half-century. Maybe twice that many ambiguous cases. Actually ambiguous, that is. Just because someone is flaired “unconfirmed” on r/Resurrected doesn't mean there's a chance in Hell they're legit. So, yeah, I get it's unlikely. But let's jump back to embalming real quick.

You know how it works, right? At least vaguely? Blood goes out, formaldehyde goes in. Well, that's step one. Step two is sucking all the non-blood fluids out of your body cavity and swapping those for embalming fluid too. They also sew your mouth shut, stuff some cotton in you to stop any leaking–I could go on, but I won't. Like I said, I don't have any issue with embalming from a treatment-of-the-dead-body standpoint. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for embalming Great-Aunt Edith, here. I'm just saying, if the dead body becomes an alive body, you can see why there might be some issues.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say: “It's magic, dumbass.” And, yes, it is. That's why waking up with your mouth sewn shut and your body stuffed full of formaldehyde doesn't immediately kill you again. Doesn't make it fun, though.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't focus on the mouth thing. I'm sure it's happened to someone, but my sister cut the stitches out before she brought me back. She was thorough like that. I just feel like it's easier to picture, you know? Mouth won't open and hurts when you try. The rest of it's harder.

I don't blame my sister for not dealing with the formaldehyde. I know there wasn't much she could do about it. If she'd had more time, I'm sure she could've come up with something, but once you've dug up a body, you're kind of on a (ha) deadline. If someone sees you, you're done. So I get it. I've had a lot of time to think it over, and I'm still not sure what she could've done better. Other than just letting me stay dead.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…maybe I am? A little bit? I know that's an awful thing to say. It's not like I wanted to die. That's not what this is about. It's also not about how super amazingly great the afterlife is. Sorry to disappoint, but I have no idea. I don't remember anything between the hospital and waking up on the grass with a chest full of embalming fluid. Does that mean there's nothing after? Or did coming back just give me amnesia? No idea. I leave that one to the philosophers.

My sister probably would've had an opinion.

She was always…

Let me tell you about my sister.

She was great. I'm not saying this because of what happened. She really was incredible. Almost perfect. One of those people who's so smart and so kind and so beautiful and so goddamn humble but not so humble you can even accuse them of humblebragging, to the point where you can't help but hate them a little for making you look so fucking shitty in comparison and then you feel like the biggest bitch in the world and that just makes you hate them more.

Okay, maybe she wasn't quite as perfect as all that. After I came back, I learned some things. Turns out she was just as much of a fuckup as me, in her own way. She was just better at hiding it. But I never met that version of her. In my memories, she's still just Little Miss Impossibly Perfect. I wish she'd told me about any of it. Maybe…

No, that isn't fair. Why would she tell me anything that could get her in trouble? Maybe I would've hated her less, or maybe I would've just gone and told our parents. Even once we grew up. Would I really have been able to resist knocking her off that pedestal? I'd like to think I would, but come on. Look how I'm talking about her. And that's after she sold her soul for me.

If you're thinking right now that the world probably would've been better off with her instead of me, you're not the only one. Don't worry, I won't take it personally. Or maybe you're not thinking that at all. I've been told I project onto other people.

Maybe you're just confused about why I'm talking about her in the past tense. After all, it's not like selling your soul kills you, and you've probably never met someone unensouled. Or maybe you have, and you know exactly why I'm talking like this. Probably not, though. There are a lot more unensouled than there are people who were resurrected–people sell their souls for all sorts of reasons–but there are a lot more fakers too. Pro tip: if someone claiming they sold their soul gives any sign of caring about literally anything, including whether you believe them, they're lying to you.

So, yeah, she's still here. I know I keep saying it, but I'm not religious. I don't think my sister is burning in Hell while her empty husk sits up here, and if you ask me, that's just a real convenient excuse not to help the person who's still right there in front of you. Whatever a “soul” actually is, there's clearly someone here.

Sorry, I might be preaching to the choir here. And I don't want to sound like I think every religious person thinks that way. I just made the mistake of talking to my parents this weekend, and I'm still a little mad. Or a lot mad. Look, I know I'm getting off topic. Just, real quick, I want to explain.

She's still my sister. I'm not denying that. I keep saying she was this or she was that because she's not really any of those things anymore. She's not cruel, but she doesn't care enough to be kind. I'm sure she's still smart, but she doesn't actually want to use her smarts for anything. She barely eats if I don't pester her into it. I don't think she'd have an opinion on what my lack of memory says about the afterlife anymore. But, hey, maybe she would. Maybe I should ask.

Anyway. None of this is really my point. My point is, waking up next to your own open grave is freaky enough when you're not choking on formaldehyde. It took weeks before I was mostly bleeding blood again. (Yeah, I checked. Don't judge. You'd be curious too.) I coughed up embalming fluid for months. My insides still don't feel quite right. I could get them checked out, but I'll be honest with you. I don't want to know. I haven't been anywhere near a doctor since I got back.

I know, you don't think this will happen to you. No one you know is the right combination of smart enough to wade through all the bullshit to figure out how to revive you and stupid enough to go through with it. And you're probably right. But I thought that too.

[feminine-obedient-alexandra]

Use your superpower. Cocksucking.

i've been rereading Worm, the best superhero story there is, was and ever will be. Well, maybe Ward (the sequel) is better, but i haven't read it yet.

It is about a world where about 1 in 8000 has some form of superpower. Like being able to fly, telekinesis, etc. Except that the powers are super diverse and it is really fun to read about them. No Superman kind of boring stuff.

There is one girl called Amy, she has the superpower to heal people. She just touches someone and then reconfigures the body to remove the illness or broken bones or whatever. She can cure cancer and everything.

Because of her Superpowers, Amy feels the duty to help people. To sacrifice her own well being to be constantly in hospitals healing people. She knows she can never heal everyone but she tries very hard to heal as many people as she possibly can, even at the cost of her own happiness. 

Now i know no one has this kind of superpowers but every girl has a gift. The gift of sucking. We may not be able to save a Man's life, but we can save a Man's day. We may not be able to bring health but we can bring happiness. So it is kind of our superpower. The power of cocksucking to make Men feel good. So it is kind of our duty to use this power for good, right?

So, i ask you this, is it selfish to not suck as many cocks as we possibly can? We can never suck all the cocks in the world, but we still can try to suck as many as possible.

Isn't every time we sit bored at home a wasted chance to make a big impact on random Man's life? Isn't this a wasted opportunity, a wasted part of our lives? Also, practice makes perfect, so by sucking cock we get better at it and in turn spread more happiness to the Men we blow.

For girls with Owners, this is different of course, because we have to follow his rules. But for single girls, is there really any viable excuse to not be sucking cock right now? Of course, this is kinda philosophical, because we still need to work on ourselves and look pretty and docile. Sucking cock is an important part of a girl's life but so are looks and attitude. You can't have a bubbly bimbo personality without working on it. So don't give up everything for cock (especially since ugly and grumpy girls don't get Men to give them cock). But i bet every girl out there could easily increase their time sucking cock without impacting other parts of their life.

So, dear girls, are you using your superpower for good? Are you doing your part?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.