#kinda makes me mad that most of the designs are so feminine tho

[neon-danger]

Don't like aging, don't like perma-death, everyone gets a death flower so they can help others, but they worked so much better in Sims 3, god, why are death flowers backwards in 4. I'm literally just keeping those kids as death flower receptacles as Alex is very easily death prone for being someone who cannot drown. This fairy dude (I have a lot of mods) tried to freeze him to death, multiple times, and succeeded once, if not for those stupid children I could bring over and use to give a death flower to the reaper I'd have had to redo a whole lot. Now why that fairy guy was compelled to freeze Alex to death, I have no idea. His scales protect him from the cold EXCEPT in the case of fairy freezing spells I guess. Oh and Alex makes a lot of fires too, I think the cat does too. Anyway he's cursed and if not for growing Death Flowers in his backyard he'd be dead a dozen times. :)

Hematite prevents sims from dying when charged

[floweringsweetheart2]

📧 | [ I envy and am jealous of fakeboys ]

Wednessday, (20/nov/2024)

➣ Welcome paragraph🎀

Hello my fellow incubators in training, sluts/slaves, desperate bimbos and dear followers! Here it is another post of mine discussing about.... guess what? FAKEBOYS.

For your information, I am not actually a TERF!! Nor I condone actual transphobia, even though my vent is kind of way too genuine to the acceptable standarts of today, and I'm really wondering if my blog or post is gonna get taken down for hate speech because many of you might not understand what I'm acyually tryna say😭

Some implicit intonations of my text are clearly related to the kink (even though im kinda too masculine to be seen by others as a cisgender girl unfortunately) but others are genuine vent. Since I want to still let some mystery behind some of my intentions, I won't clarify ALL of my statements. Why? Because it's midnight and I'm lazy asf, even tho I only played for the past couple hours roblox lmao)

If you're not fine with my vent for a list of reasons (e.g.), please, I kindly invite to consider arguing with the wall. My blog wasn't made for everyone to enjoy its content (even though my main objective here besides mindlessly posting stuff I feel like is entertaining my "followers". The block button is just a few couple clicks away so, why bother in the comment section when you can pretend you've never seen my vent before?

➣ Why so many warnings? 🎀

Because this topic (dysphoria in general) is something that hugely impacts on my life, especially since I had been forced to submit to the overwhelming psychological burden and "debt" that is integrating to womanhood (even though I didn't even had completed two digits before I had been introduced).

The instability that is being an unnatractive woman in womanhood, especially when put in it against my will had generated a really profound trauma inside my head which I avoid talking to, but since this blog is kind of a vent account when I post "seriously" (cos no one can take me seriously actually) , I will talk abouy it to you guys :)

➣ Struggling at the most basics🎀

I am NOT a fakeboy. Because, if I were financially and aesthetically allowed, my expression of gender will be higly feminine, since I am afab and had been identifying with my designated gender at birth :/

But, as I mentioned before, just as socially expected, I am unnatractive. I can't show no pics of me but I'm ugly as hell, but like, I had never felt comfortable in my own skin and it IS about naturally manifesting your gender spectrum.

Cuz like, first of all... You all guys know that I'm straight but I simply LOVE TITS!!!! Maybe because I was raised in a male-dominated humor culture (not men humor, plsase!) And, for most of my womanhood life (idk, almost a decade??? idk) I have been considered a quite busty girl for soemone my age. I am actually a 38E cup but they look like something in between C cups and B cups... Weird...

So, when I see all the girls having some rapid breaat growth (obtaining in a couple of months what I slowly achieved in 3 years or so) makes me genuinely so fucking mad... I must be the curviest girl in any room!!! How can this happen!??!?!?

And it it of common sense that FtMs use binders so their sillouette doesn't look too feminine, but something that infuriates me (not just a tiny bit... like, A LOT) is that they ALWAYS have the sluttiest and tiniest waists to touch... Always the biggest udders to grope in family gatherings... The juiciest thighs to lick, the curviest hips to birth and bear, THE SHORTEST HEIGHTSSSSSS!!!!! THE TINIEST NOSED AND HANDSSS

Like, I understand that gender doesn't work that way but... Isn't it so unfair that we, cis girls who struggle to make ourselves more feminine then there's someone who milks money out of their sketchy tumblr blog for literally trying to get rid of those udders... Like, uhm, at least give us some???? wtf bro

I am genuinely almost bawling my eyes out after this vent post because... idk man IT'S SO UNFAIR, SO UNFAIR URAGHGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What have I done to be born in this miserable body? I literally look like an ogre :(

[cleosven]

Thanks @moonythendwitch!! I love these kinds things lol

1. Are you named after anyone?

I’m named after my mom’s grandpa and his sister (they were given the feminine and masculine versions of the same name because their parents didn’t understand how confusing that would be). My dad wanted to name me Clifford (yes, like the big red dog) and I’m happy everyday that he didn’t get his way

2. When was the last time you cried?

Like 5 mins ago. I cry like all the time tho, so no need to be concerned 

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I don’t think so. I’m pretty bad at understanding sarcasm in general, but sometimes I repeat phrases that I’ve heard like “yeah, right” when I mean “no” but it’s not intentional

5. Why is there no question number 5???????

This is a good question. I’m going to say it’s a good reminder that life doesn’t make sense, and it’s ok to just accept it and move onto the next thing (in this case, question 6) 

6. What's your eye colour?

I’d say blue, but most people I meet think my eyes are grey 

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings forever and ever! But like actually happy, like if the character was better off without the love interest, they don’t get together int he end. I also don’t mind scary movies if they have happy endings. But I can’t do war movies, no matter how happy the ending is, because I know those characters blowing up in the background really did die and I can’t get over it. I need fiction 1000%

8. Any special talents?

I’m ambidextrous, I’m great at romantically attracting people who don’t actually want to be with me, and I make an amazing grilled cheese. (I know one of these isn’t like the others, but you’ve got things to do, posts to read, no reason to dwell here)

9. Where were you born?

In a bathtub in a cabin on top of a mountain during a snow storm (prob not the question, but it’s a more fun answer than my country)

10. What are your hobbies?

Currently, um, watching all of Netflix, interacting w/ people on tumblr, writing tylorpe fics, over thinking things. But if you want, like, new info, I also sew clothes, write scientific research papers for no reason, and do UX design

11. Do you have any pets?

I don’t, but my sibling has a Great Pyr mix who is a giant sleepy floof, and my SO’s fam just got a mini-schnauzer who is a cute lil tornado of teeth and claws

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played soccer in elementary school, but when I hit middle school my parents were like “you should only do things that make you happy” and wearing those tall soccer socks was killing me, so I quit. Then in high school they were like “just kidding, you have to do a sport to get into college” so I did swim team, and I did that nerd-to-hot transformation so I like can’t even be mad at my parents about it

13. How tall are you?

Maybe 5′9″(~175 cm) which is strange. I’m the shortest person on both sides of my family, of any gender. My dad’s like 6′5″ (~196 cm) so yeah idk what happened

14. Favorite subject in school?

I literally loved every subject. I love school and learning, but I felt kinda bad picking a favorite (like Phoebe from friends style). But I’ll say science, because it stressed me out the least  

15. Dream job?

Currently? The most realistically possible job that would still be a dream: UX designer for tumblr. Reach dream job, that could still technically happen: Netflix tv show writer. Most impossible dream job: getting paid to go to do whatever I want, like write and talk to people, and still get the feeling that I’m contributing to society 

--

Tagging: @lilitblaukatz, @writhingcreature, @achilles-s-gay-tantrum, @just-jessiejames, @tyler-is-hot​, @thekpotterhead​, @i-oooo​ (absolutely no pressure to do this tho!!) 

And if you’re wondering, yes, I did have too much fun with these questions

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @sillyliterature !!

1. Are you named after anyone? 

No, my mom suggested naming me after one of her friends but my parents didn't end up picking that name!

2. When was the last time you cried?

This month, can't remember exactly when but definitely this month

3. Do you have kids?

Not at the moment!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I used to, but I've dropped it as I've gotten older. Now I only use it to make exaggerated jokes.

6. What's your eye color? 

Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings? 

Happy endings for sure, I've never been a fan of scary movies

8. Any special talents?

Hmmm... I can do voices and (some) accents? Idk if that counts but it's really useful for dnd, haha~

9. Where were you born? 

The Netherlands

10. What are your hobbies? 

The biggest one is writing for sure! I also love playing dnd, playing video games, reading, visiting bookstores, going on walks, singing (not especially good at it but love it anyway), sewing... I'll try just about anything, but those are my favs!

11. Have you any pets? 

If my family's cat counts, then yes, even if he sadly doesn't live at my place. If I could, I'd adopt 2 cats right now.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Right now, none. I don't like sports, generally speaking, though I love dancing and used to do kickboxing.

13. How tall are you? 

like 168cm I think

14. Favorite subject in school? 

English, Spanish, History, and depending on the teacher, Chemistry

15. Dream job? 

Full-time author... that would be so amazing

Tagging: @jillfizzart @megatraven @vespersposts @gehaktbal @jotarowan @flatescardos @nicolasadrabbles @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @shakethatsassyass @youvegottrouble @hauntedgarden95 @gaymergoose @miharu-ojou-sama @chiaki-c and @indoctrinates (if you feel like it, no pressure!)

[leafsbabe]

Erik Johnson imagine - we got this

1.2k, i went with feminin pronouns for reader even tho the ask didn’t specify cause they’re pregnant and most pregnant people happen to be feminin, cw: unplanned pregnancy

“YOU’RE WHAT?!”

“Pregnant, Gabe, you heard the lady.” Erik’s arm left your shoulder to wrap around your still small middle protectively. The two of you had only found out about the baby a short while ago but it was a nice little surprise for EJ and you. You were already three months into the pregnancy and while didn’t have a bump at the moment you were sure it would show soon, hence why you wanted to tell the team right after you told your parents. Erik had suggested just playing dumb with them when they would notice your growing bump but you thought that was a bit mean.

Sure it was very unexpected but some of his oldest friends on the team were looking at you like you had just announced EJ wants to quiet hockey to become a professional teeth model.

“Congratulations you guys.” Andre basically jumped out of his seat. “I love babies, they’re the best. Do you know how far along you are? Have you picked names?” The tense atmosphere calmed down a bit. The partners all came over to talk about the news. It was nice to finally share the news with somebody outside your immediate family and to be honest you enjoyed the attention a bit.

Several of Erik’s teammates came over and congratulated you as well. Especially the younger guys seemed excited about the news. At some point you felt Erik slip away but you didn’t mind. After all the team bbq you were hosting had quickly turned into an impromptu baby class. With tons of information and ideas being thrown at you from all sides. What the best swaddles are or where to get designer pacifiers.

While you weren’t that far along you and Erik had waited until you were in your second trimester to announce it just to be sure. It was a bit stressful and you’d rather not stress out baby too much. Looking around for your boyfriend you found him in a corner with some of the Avs core, looking pissed off and like they’re in the middle of an argument.

“Hey,” Erik turned away from them and looked at you, “you wanna get married?”

His words echoed across the yard and people turned to you, expecting an answer. You had thought about it before, sometime probably in the future but honestly neither of you wanted a big pompous event.

“Sure.” You yelled back. Immediately you were swept up into another round of congratulations while EJ turned back to the group he was standing with looking smug.

It took a while but everything calmed down again, everybody split up into their own little groups, and you could finally get a few quiet minutes with your boyf.. fiance? “That was weird.” You noted before Erik pulled you into a kiss. “So... marriage?”

“There’s... there’s this interview. From a few years ago. And i said i wanted to wait until after hockey to have a family and marriage.” His shoulders sagged a bit and you couldn’t help but step closer to comfort him. “And at the time i meant it but then i met you and now we’re having junior and i wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. But the boys remembered the interview and thought that maybe something happened or that the baby is some kind of trick and they said some things.” He trailed off. “I got angry at them and proposed to piss them off. I do want to marry you though.” His voice trailed off at the end. “Are you mad?”

He looked so sad and you couldn’t think of anything else except making him smile again. “It’s okay Erik, i’m not mad. I know this isn’t what we had planned and everything is kinda happening all at once but we’ll manage. We don’t have to get married now, we can just have a long engagement or go sign some papers in the courthouse and then have a ceremony after hockey. Whatever you want.” You brought your hands up to his face, caressing his cheek. “I never had any big wedding plans anyway so we can do whatever you like. And if there’s any doubt from anybody we’ll just do a prenup or something i don’t care. I love you.” You leaned up pressed a small kiss to his lips before pulling away. “Not your possessions.”

“Never.” Erik injected, pulling you closer against him, “If i ever do something stupid enough to loose you, you deserve to take everything i own and leave me with nothing but the jersey on my back. But you’re not getting rid of me that easily. You just agreed to be stuck with me foreverrrr.”

“Forever?” You gave him a teasing smile.

“Forever. Now,” he gently turned you around and pointed out a large group of partners that had gathered in your cozy backyard sitting area, “they look like they’re already planning either wedding or baby related events and they won’t let you get a word in if you don’t interrupt them now.”

A short while later you were in the middle of assuring Andre that yes if EJ is fine with it he can babysit and no he doesn’t need his former teammates to send over reference letters when Erik came over with some of the older Avs.

“I got you some food.” He greeted you before handing you a plate full of delicious smelling food.

While you had all eaten together a while ago you definitely felt hungry again a fact you blamed on the small human growing inside of you at the moment. “Aw, thank you Erik.”

“I also brought the boys over because they wanted to tell you something.” He looked at them expectantly.

“We’re sorry we thought badly about you.” They all recited in unison.

“And?” He gave them a smug look.

“And... we shouldn’t have assumed anything. We tried thinking of ways to make it up to you but we haven’t really thought of anything except like teaching EJ about dad stuff and maybe finding cute baby stuff for when the baby is born.” Gabe bashfully said.

“And babysitting.” Nate chimed in. “We can watch the baby. Then you two can like do date night or whatever.”

The way they just looked at you all earnest made you laugh. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. But hey if you guys want to round up that would be awesome. It’s been a long day and growing a human is exhausting.”

Erik looked like he was about ready to jump up and yell at the rookies to fuck off but Gabe signaled for him to sit down with you. “It’s okay, we got it. You guys deserve the rest. Keep us updated about the little one okay?” 

They turned around and got ready to leave, collecting their partners and offering rides to the young guys that had taken ubers. It was late evening in Denver, the sun was disappearing behind the horizon, and you were sitting in your beautiful backyard with the love of your life. 

“We got this. Right?” You asked EJ, looking up at him.

“We got this.” He assured you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling you closer to his side. His hand protectively resting over your belly. “We got this.”

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[tumblunni]

ALSO TO FIX EXCELLUS

Because tangeants again lol

Recognise that its fuckin stupid and bigoted to expect us to believe someone is a villain INSTANTLY after seeing that they're queer, before they even do anything. Don't spend your entire damn game having the characters go "eww its that disgusting person of ambiguous gender we should kill them because gross" rather than.. Yknow.. "Excellus fuckin murdered those people". Recognise that literally doing this is gonna make your character LESS villainous and MORE sympathetic long before you finally get to goddamn showing them do anything bad except say "ohoho i wanna be a princess". And it'll make bunni REALLY PISSED OFF because nobody wants to feel sad for an asshole murderer yet THAT SADNESS IS FOREVER ENGRAINED IN MY SOUL NOW

Seriously fuckin hell it even made the heroes look less heroic! I felt like Excellus was almost justified in becoming a murdering selfish monster if she spent her entire life being treated that way by both sides in this big good or evil conflict. Why the fuck should she give a shit if she's being degraded? Like FUCKIN OBVIOUSLY murdering people and wanting to conquer a random japanese country as a mad dictator is not a remotely logical reaction to being misgendered. But like they could have changed some stuff and made a perfectly good sympathetic villain who gets manipulated by the bigger bad because of her sad past of being treated like shit and like she feels like this is her only option to be herself. And then maybe you can reignite her hope in the world and her self esteem and moral centre and help her redeem herself and team up with you to take out the real horrible fucks with no sympathetic motives. Instead she's friggin played as THE one who's evil cos she has no sympathetic motive. Like that's her whole Thing, she's supposed to just be selfish and greedy and horrid. Your damn bigotry somehow failed your own story as well as failing all trans people ever!

Or like yknow.. If you want an asshole fuckboi then actually write an asshole fuckboi. Scrubby scrub the trans = bad shit from this plotline and you do indeed have a selfish monster who murders a bunch of innocent people and gets his just desserts. You had a ready made simple character archetype and you were so preoccupied shoving your transphobic screed into your game that you fucked it up!

So yeah i think either make this goofy ohoho trans auntie a good character, make the asshole ohoho bad character a cis man, do both at once, or like even i'm not opposed to having a trans villain exist but like seriously make them a synpathetic villain. If they're the only trans character in the plot its already gonna send a bad message if theyre in the role of "worst most underhanded jerk villain", even if it WASNT also transphobic as fuck. So a sympathic trans villain or adding more LGBT characters so it doesnt seem like this one individual was designed to make a statement on your entire feelings for a minority.

ALSO

like seriously please do not do this stupid thing of mooshing every stereotype together from every LGBT identity and acting like theyre all the same thing?? Like man i fuckin HATE that anime trope that yknow.. The gay man says all this trans stuff cos he's ~just that flambouyant~ Like being a drag queen is what 100% of gay men are, 24/7, and anyone saying theyre a trans woman is just one of those drag queens who's really getting into character. Or just.. I dunno. I cant even wrap my head around what train of logic must have led to that stereotype in the first place! And its so fuckin annoying as a queer person trying to talk about why this is bad queer stereotyping, it just makes me extra sad to straight up not know what pronouns to use for the character so i feel like i'm being just as horrible to them as their creators were. Like man i've only settled on going for "she" for Excellus cos after years of looking into it it does seem like the original japanese was indeed specifically using stereotypes of trans women and not trans men or nonbinary people. Though all languages do seem to call the character male it seems pretty strongly to be a "i believe that trans women are men and can never be women" kind of thing, rathe rthan the character herself calling HERSELF male. She calls herself a woman in both english and japanese, and its just that the english has everyone else use male pronouns for her and added the non-canon "explanation" that she only acts like a trans woman because she has something wrong with her balls. (Ugh!) And in japanese on top of calling herself a woman she also uses feminine (and specifically trans/drag queen coded) variants of "I", and other common speech pattern traits used for negative stereotypes of trans women. Though again we do have other characters calling her a disgusting perverted man instead. Sigh!

Ok ok ALSO BIGGEST FUCKIN FIX! dont draw the character like a horrible distorted cariacature goblin in an entirely different art style to everyone else. Seriously its so annoying how they tried to make you agree with "excellus is disgusting just for acting queer" by LITERALLY DRAWING A DISGUSTING CHARACTER. If you take away the weirdass overdetailed horror movie monster face, there is nothing ugly or even "manly looking" about her! She's just like somebody's perfectly normal chubby aunt or something. You could go out in any street all over the world and see five of her! I hate it cos its almost like psychological manipulation or something? Like i've seen so many lets players who arent bigoted but merely oblivious still agree that excellus is ugly and disgusting and comical because of it, cos all the implications of transphobia/homophobia flew over their heads and all they saw was a character drawn to look monsterous. And just.. This is so common. Its the overwhelming japanese stereotype of trans women. Draw them looking INFINATELY MORE MANLY than the cis male characters. So manly that it really hammers home how "obvious" it is that a man in lipstick or dresses "just looks wrong" and of course there's NO way they could ever pass and ha ha look how deluded they are that they think they look pretty. It's horrid. It really is. Seriously I like to point at Tabitha from Pokemon ORAS for a good counter example, cos he's also an ambiguously transgender character from a game that came out around the same time and by some weird coincidence they look very similar. Except for the literal entire face. The literal entire exact same face, just its drawn hideous and distorted on the one who's supposed to be a negative trans stereotype, and drawn exactly like everyone else on the positive one. And there's not one example in the whole game of anyone calling Tabitha ugly because he looks trans, or even insulting his weight or anything. Same damn character design, just drawn without bias and treated like a human being. I mean seriously right down to them having the small "evil eyes" but with Tabitha he's always drawn with them in a perpetual sort of happy face and then his pose with them looking similar to Excellus is supposed to be a BADASS MOMENT of this comic relief villain showing his worth! And hw literally has red eyes on top of it! His design is even MORE "evil" yet just not drawing it as a stereotype entirely changes the player's perception and he became beloved by many. Whereas with Excellus even the trans people in the audience couldnt relate to her and just felt fuckin sad.

Oh also i guess Excellus is implied to be a trans woman and Tabitha is implied to be a trans man? But i don't think game freak was trying to say anything about trans men being more valid or whatever, cos the first canonical LGBT character of any sort was a trans woman npc in the battle maison. And tabitha being trans isnt really confirmed as clearly as she was. i hope someday theyre able to confirm an LGBT main cast member but until then i will forever hold onto the glimmer of hope that was given to me by Beauty Nova.

Also seriously Tabitha and Excellus both also look EXACTLY LIKE ME IN REAL LIFE so I kinda took Excellus extra hard and latched onto the Tabitha headcanon so much more because it was good healing after all that nonsense. Tho I also did considee nonbinary Tabitha at the time, because his japanese name is a gender neutral one that's merely like 75% female, rather than a 100% feminine one. But then his old RSE design was very masculine so i think maybe a trans man is what they were trying to imply if they did indeed do it on purpose. Anyway i probably would have translated his name as Ashley cos it has the same "technically neutral but more popular with girls" aesthetic while also keeping the same fire pun as Homura. I have no idea how on earth Tabitha is supposed to be a joke, honestly. Tho i meam maybe he's just the one type specialist on the entire poke-earth who doesnt have a joke name?

ANYWAY thank you terrible transphobic stupid manga i read today for reminding me that i love Tabitha. And also the developers love Tabitha. And also all the characters in universe love him, like seriously the only difference between the devon dialogue of him and Shelly is that they mention the other scientists nicknamed him tabitabi. And its so cute how seriously they said it too?? Its like "our boss tabitabi,the most feared and respected genius man".

Lovv dat tabb