#kinda like tag hide-n-seek tho

[grem-archive]

do u have a brother/sibling? bc you get the na bros so correct. also STELLAR movie choices

i am an only child (the happy accident)! however, i had a lot of cousins around my age growing up that i saw pretty frequently. we treated each other like siblings more often than not. it also helps that many of those cousins had siblings, and i am the only single child in my friend group. i'm surrounded by sibling-havers whom i enjoy observing interact. i have also pestered them on occasion with questions on what it's like to have siblings so that i can try and portray sibling duos/groups accurately in writing. the relationships between siblings can be so incredibly diverse and multifaceted. it's nutty really. there are some days that i wish i'd had siblings.

and thank you! dazed and confused holds a special place in my heart for very specific reasons, but all three are beloved.

[vngelicc]

𓆩♡𓆪 “can we take this off and get naked?” — jock!jk

·˚ ༘ 💌 TAGS — SMUT, pure smut, riding, creampies, degradation, jk’s a big fat meanie :( , y/n likes it tho, she kinda wanted to cock warm him??? dunno he’s playing games tho at first lmao, CHAIR SEX FOR THE WIN.

"Yugyeom quit fuckin' around, we're losing cause of you!"

It's been like this for about the past hour since you and Jungkook got home from having dinner and watching some movie at the theaters. You were lazily sprawled out in his bed, watching some anime on the TV while Jungkook sat at his desk playing some game you didn't know of.

You didn't mind the cursing and yelling coming from him cause well, it's Jungkook. Though you did start getting a little lonely, it was no fun watching anime all by yourself when Jungkook was more than capable of coming to cuddle you in his big arms.

You could already picture it! Jungkook would be shirtless because he always took his shirts off and gave them to you before bed (but you were already wearing his shirt duh). You'd be all wrapped up in his arms, leg tossed over his hip as you watch the new episode of My Hero or Demon Slayer. Maybe if you wanted to you could give him kisses all over and then he'd give you kisses all over and it'd just be a fun time!

Yeah, that sounded like a perfect idea. Too bad he was playing his games. You had begun to pout without realizing it, who else was going to lay on your tits and use them as pillows? Luna wasn't here to lay on them and Jungkook wasn't paying attention. You didn't like this... not one bit >:'(

"Hmph." You glared at the computer screen that was taking up so much of your boyfriend's time, it was YOUR time not theirs. "Gonna show you whose time it is." You mumble quietly and slip out of bed, sauntering over as you gently slide Jungkook's chair back.

He's in visible confusion and turns to look at you in question, hands still hovering over his keyboard and mouse since you didn't really pull him that far anyways. You slip under his arms and climb on to his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you bury your face in his shoulder. Jungkook relaxes into the seat immediately and wraps his arms around you as he scoots the chair back in.

"Nah man, I was fixing my chair." Jungkook mumbles a bit lower this time, kissing the side of your head as he goes back to playing. He even lowers the volume and tones his comments down, limiting them to just small talk and slight curse words, nowhere near as loud as before.

Your eyes are closed as you peacefully rest your eyes and take a little cat nap on him. Jungkook occasionally jerks a little in the seat, jostling you just a little bit in his lap but you don't mind. In fact you find yourself seeking more of him because in the middle of all that you can feel his heavy cock sitting inside his sweats press against you, and you're not wearing anything other than his shirt and panties.

He presses up just nicely against you, it feels like enough to grind down on him and get pleasure but knowing you... you don't want grinding. You want the REAL deal, and you want it now.

"Yugyeom," Jungkook bites back another curse when he feels it, you grinding down on him. At first he doesn't say much and it's probably because he thinks you're doing it by accident or something. So he doesn't comment and goes back to playing the game. That is until he feels you do it again, only this time you moan, soft and sweet the way he likes it.

You turn your face to hide in his neck, lips parting as you softly moan and continue grinding your hips in tiny circles. His cock throbs pathetically in his sweats and right away you know he's gone commando. You gently kiss his neck and suckle on the patch of skin there, tongue pressing down and applying the slightest of pressure.

He sucks in a breath, clearing his throat as he furiously pushes at some keys and clicks his mouse, "Yeah, I heard you.." He mumbles.

You're having a lot of fun with this, heat pools in your panties as your pussy slicks up with anticipation. This is all so new to you, usually you're not the one initiating anything and usually you don't take control/charge like right now. You could used to this if anything.

Jungkook lets out a choked groan when you suddenly slip your hand down between the two of you, sliding inside his sweats and stroking his throbbing cock. Your delicate fingertips take ahold of the tip and rub around it, smearing the precum that built up from your little teasing. His hips jump in surprise, and he barely has time to answer Yugyeom when his friend asks him a question.

"You good bro?"

".. Yeah," he breathes out, looking down between the two of you where your hand is slipped inside his sweats. He nearly moans but bites his bottom lip in efforts to not give away what was happening.

You pout softly, really wanting nothing more than to slip down to your knees and get his cock into your mouth. You crave the weight of it on your tongue, you want him to hit the back of your throat and make you gag on it. This will do you suppose, turning your face and kissing the side of his face and leaning over to glide your lips over the corner of his mouth.

Jungkook turns to capture your lips in a quick kiss before he pulls away to reply to his friend. You giggle quietly and tap his hip, motioning to his sweats. He helps you slide them down, fitting them right under his balls as his cock slaps against his abdomen. You nearly drool and reach down to pump it a few more times.

"What were you saying?" Jungkook whispers out, jaw slack and tongue peeking out as he licks his lower lips slowly.

You adjust yourself in his lap and snuggle into his neck as you guide his cock towards your pussy. Your free hand is holding your panties to the side, a small dollop of slick drips from your pussy down on to his cock.

"Okay.. yeah.. yeah I can do that." Jungkook says shakily as he grips the mouse a little too tightly.

Finally you rub his cock against your folds, smearing your slick around first before you pop the tip inside. A low mewl escapes your lips, and you let his cock go in favor of setting your hands on his shoulders for purchase. You slide all the way down until your perky ass meets his thighs.

You hear him swear under his breath as he takes a moment to relax in his chair. You tentatively roll your hips in figures of eights, getting used to the feeling of his fat cock so deep inside of you in this position.

"Mm-" you bite your lip and relax against him, eyes fluttering closed.

Jungkook makes a quiet noise of confusion, probably questioning why you aren't moving yet. You lazily look up at him from where your head lays on his shoulder, "You can keep playing." You softly say as you stare up at him, " 'm gonna take a nap coz you feel so warm." You smile dreamily.

"Baby," he says but Yugyeom whining in his ears cuts him off as he stares slack jawed at you.

You peck his jaw and then his lips, "Was just kidding," you wiggle around, "don't mind me."

You roll your hips slowly, pussy greedily swallowing up his cock and making these little squelching noises. Jungkook pokes his tongue against his cheek as he tries to focus on the game at hand. You notice he isn't replying as much and can only muster out hums and grunts. It makes excitement to hear him moan pool in the pit of your tummy as you squirm around to get a good grip.

"Jungkook we're gonna level up in the que okay so my bad if I take a little long to ready up." You hear from the headset since the room was filled with only your little moans and Jungkook's labored breathing. Perfect.

You sit up and cup his cheeks, bringing him in for a long kiss as you moan into his mouth. Jungkook's hands immediately drop down to your ass and grips both cheeks in hand. He starts moving you in his lap, kneading your ass and grinding you back and forth on his cock. The delicious friction it brings nearly has you drooling.

"Mm..mm.." You shakily reach behind you to mute his mic, struggling with finding the button at first but Jungkook gets the hint and reaches over to slam the off button.

Hell breaks loose once it's off, a whimper bubbles out of your throat and you start slamming your hips down on his. The sound of your ass meeting his thighs fills the entire room as you bounce on his cock. The chair begins to lightly creak in protest from the weight of you and him and for a minute you think it's gonna cave in.

"Fuck," Jungkook harshly breathes out as his lips part, "baby couldn't wait so you had to come bounce on my cock like the desperate little slut you are?" He groans slapping your ass, "That's it baby, fuck yourself on my cock, you can ride me better than that."

The little whimpers and moans that leave your mouth rise in volume, you're eager to show him you can take his cock and make him feel good too. :( You reach behind you to set your hands on his knees for support, " 's not e-enough..!" You whine loudly.

"Then make it enough," he growls back, "you wanted to be a little bitch in heat so act like it." He slaps your ass harder, making a louder whine escape your lips.

He gives you a look and you sniffle softly in defeat, "Meanie." You mumble and set your hands on his shoulders, riding him more earnestly now.

You huff with effort and set a pace you both like, not too fast and not too slow either. The clapping noises get louder and lewd squelching add to the mix of the filthy fucking. A ring of white forms around Jungkook's cock as you get it wetter and wetter, the slick dribbles down to his balls and on to the floor. The slide is so wet you have to force yourself to focus on the task at hand because quite frankly you want nothing more than to clean up all this mess with your tongue.

Jungkook's moans rise in volume alongside yours, occasionally turning into breathless pants and sighs. He has a death grip on your ass, fingers leaving little prints here and there wherever he grabs. "Doing so good for me baby, look at you making a mess all over my cock. Gonna have you clean every last drop of it, 's only fair since one of yours holes made the mess." He licks his lips, tilting his head up to watch you through hooded eyes.

"Jungkook..!" You squirm, " 's not enough I want you to touch me." You pout.

"Where?" He smirks.

You whine loudly, "You know.."

"Actually I don't, c'mon be a little smarter than that baby, or you too cock drunk to even answer?" Jungkook slips his hand from your ass and cups your tit, "I can touch you in so many places it's hard to tell where you want me." He murmurs and leans forward to engulf your nipple in his mouth.

You let out a moan, "There too," you grab his other hand and guide it between the two of you, "I want you here though."

His finger comes into contact with your throbbing clit, you mewl happily and rock your hips back and forth on his cock, "Yes.. like that," you softly whine, "more, more.."

Jungkook presses down on the sensitive bud and flicks it back and forth, "You gonna cum baby?" He licks his lips.

You nod eagerly, going back to bouncing in his lap, only this time faster, "I'm gonna cum," you whimper, "so close..!"

"Then cum for me, let go baby c'mon," Jungkook whispers once he lets your nipple go with a lewd little pop, he brings you down for a sweet kiss and holds you to him as he bucks his hips.

His cock slides deep and hits those sweet spots with ease, your hips desperately seek more and more. Your orgasm draws nearer and nearer, tummy doing flips as it grows hot down between your thighs.

"Jungkook!" You cry out weakly, back arching and hips going stiff as you cum hard on his cock, completely soaking his cock and making a even bigger mess than before.

Jungkook growls lowly and doesn't let up on your poor overstimulated clit until you're crying out for him to stop as you shakily reach down to push his hand away. He grabs ahold of both your cheeks and grips them tightly as he begins fucking up into you.

"That's it baby, greedy little pussy sucking me in." He whispers.

The creaking gets a louder and there's a flopping sound from where his balls hit your ass with each thrust. You can only mewl and hold on as you wait for him to finish inside your cunt.

Jungkook comes a few seconds later, hissing through gritted teeth as he steadies you and rolls your hips slowly. He milks his cock through his orgasm, filling you up just nicely. A satisfied little sigh leaves you and you snuggle closer to him like a little kitten.

"Mmm carry me to the bed please?" You pout.

"After we clean you up," he murmurs back, "you still gotta pee 'member baby?" He turns his mic on and tells an angry Yugyeom he's done playing for the night, "I got busy and I need to help my girl with something."

He ignores the little curses sent to him as he logs off and hangs up from the call, "Okay baby, up you go."

You make a little "wee" noise as he lifts you up and carries you off to the bathroom for a well deserved shower, and if you end up letting him fuck again that's your business.

HE’S BACK! I haven’t figured out how to finish his Halloween special so that might be later on -.- im feeling a bit better now so i might as well focus on writing hehe.

TAG LIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @jungkookminthairwhen @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar

[thewinchestah]

Strawberry Fields (sonhei com campos de morango) - Alastor X Reader fic

Summary: On a dreadful night, Alastor goes to collect one of his contracts. Something goes terribly wrong. He finds you.

Warnings: fem!reader, Human!reader, smut, 18+, period sex, overstimulation, light cannibalism, blood, A LOT OF BLOOD, general creeppiness, Alastor is in hell for a reason, oral sex, alastor kind of hunts reader down, possessive!Alastor

A/N: Soooo!! This was a long time coming but here it is. This idea has been on my mind for a long time now and I wanted to test the waters before i commit to a long fic. I hope you guys like it, i'm kinda on the fence about it. I'm working on the requests and they should be out soon I PROMISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Also I got a little carried away, i'm sorry. Hope you guys enjoy it. It's always a pleasure to write for you. The visuals and the title for this fic are heavily inspire by this music video. Not the lyrics tho, i always felt like the singer did a poor job with this concept and i wanted to do it justice.

Taglist: @markster666@jyoongim@stygianoir @pepperycookie@fraspent @aether-th3-enby  @lady-valtieri @karolinda007-blog @jesi-pinkman@polytheatrix If the tags aren’t working or you wanna be tagged, let me know.

You curse when another sharp stone cuts your feet.

You regret it a second later when you hear the ominous sounds that reverberate through the trees. They are closing in on you.

You don’t know how you got here, you just know now you are running for your life inside these woods now. The only guiding light, a full moon that looks weirdly otherworldly.

Adrenaline burns inside your bloodstream, the forest seems devoid of any living thing. It’s only you and whoever is chasing you. You wish you could hear gunshots, you wish you could hear screams. Anything besides the occasional twig snap or wind caressing the pine trees’ leaves. The eerie silence is deafening, and worse: the eerie silence makes you even more aware of your situation. 

It’s incredible how everything gets clearer when you’re about to die.

Maybe you shouldn’t have traveled alone, maybe you shouldn’t have decided to go somewhere where the closest thing to civilization is the village’s old-yet-charming dinner. 

You just wanted a little bit of quiet, a place that made introspection inviting. Next time you should go for a beach vacation.

Next time? why does next time sound so… far away? Somehow your feet carry you away from the forest’s well marked path and deeper into the thick vegetation, hiding behind a large tree. You gained a few minutes on them by taking a detour.

Breathe. Remember to breathe.

Right, your mind remembers. You’re being hunted down like prey in the creepy horror film woods, time to focus on surviving again. You can overthink later.

You assess your options: you can keep going into the woods, a deadly game of hide and seek. Zig-zag through the trees, keep them guessing. There’s a good chance you will find wildlife as you go deeper. This could be a problem, it’s too dark to make anything out, an encounter could cause enough of a distraction, you could take advantage of that. Or you could end up mauled. Plus, you are absolutely positive there are bear traps somewhere. If you're gonna die, make your death less dumb. Quite an embarrassing topic of discussion in the afterlife, saying that you died like horror film pretty girls making dumb decisions that you clearly would never make in a situation like that. You just know they are incredible hunters, you need to take them out of their element, expose them.

So yeah, going deeper isn't an option. 

Something catches your eye, there’s a big opening in the thick vegetation, there’s a clearing ahead and… sparks? You definitely see a light. You were told by the locals how the population is scattered across acres and acres of practically untouched wilderness, there’s also the park’s rangers stationed on specific places that grant them a visual advantage in case of emergencies. A big clearing is perfect for that. Maybe, just maybe there’s hope. 

Of course bolting there will make you terribly exposed, they will know your position all the time, and they can still hunt you hidden by the edge of the trail.  Besides there’s no guarantee of what awaits you when you reach the promised land, they could have a partner waiting, there could be nothing at all there. Taking this risk for nothing sounds worse than being lured into a trap. You just have this gut feeling that’s where you should go. Your brain starts to pick the plan apart, this doesn’t sound good. Hesitation can be fatal. But you are all adrenaline and primal flight intistic - 

The decision was made for you, you start running again. Taking advantage of the final stretch of cover you still have until you hit the trail again, you take several deep breaths. Oxygen needs to keep coming, so you can make decisions, so your limbs can respond quickly. Your peripheral catches something that’s also running. It’s a stag.

He’s also prey. He’s an omen. He’s your cue. 

You leap across some fallen branches and your scratched feet land on the main trial. As soon as you complete your first step you hear movement and hurried voices. They are onto you. “What do we say to the good of death? Not today” you give yourself a pep-talk as you keep running. Maybe thinking this is all fiction will help you survive this, detach yourself from the situation, don’t think about the consequences, just act. 

And like that, you don’t stop running. You sing your abcs to focus and stop spiraling. Evolution is truly amazing, the cuts you suffered don’t hurt anymore, precious shooting adrenaline, adrenaline that makes you tunnel vision towards your objective. By now you know where to step, when to dodge, when to slow down and when to go faster. Millennia of sheer force of survival catching up to you.

breathe, remember to breathe.

You inhale a good chunk of oxygen and look ahead. There’s a man on the edge of the tree line and a few meters left. Your mind wants to sing in victory, but you refrain from that, you know better than that it only ends when it’s over-

You’re positively sprinting towards the man right now, like he is your assured salvation. Something inside you screams louder and louder guiding you to him and you follow the sound. 

You hear gunshots. 

So noooooow they bring out the guns? That’s low. 

But that’s a good thing right? If they are shooting they are getting out of time. A single gunshot can take you down and they can smoothly and swiftly carry you away, like it’s a normal hunt. No one will question shooting something they didn’t see getting shot so deep into these woods. But shooting a girl in front of a witness? that’s for amateurs right? So, the man is not a partner you decide. 

remember to breathe, you are not breathing. 

You are so close now, you see an outstretched hand coming your way only a few more steps

breathe. 

You don’t, instead you leap towards your loosely established finish line and take the hand an-

 Dirt greets your face as you fall face first into the trail,  and you crawl like a zombie that just rose from its grave. You have a collection of new cuts and scrapes now, it hurts and you can’t bite your lip to suppress the pain. Still, you intertwine your fingers with his, your other arm aggressively seeking for leverage, clinging to your flesh lifeline. You blur out a bunch of incoherent things as he effortlessly lifts you up  in one swift motion. 

“Get behind me, my dear.” he asks. He has a weird voice almost like it leaves something in the air that caresses your skin, an inviting voice nonetheless. You hide yourself inside the crook of his arm, giving you the ability to witness just a little bit of the action there’s about to happen. You never let go of his hand. Your prince charming feels awfully cold.

Alastor waits, rather impatiently, for his clients to arrive. Making a deal with a human is his ticket topside and Hell is still terribly boring, even with the hotel. The Radio Demon was no stranger to contracts with humans, they were a win-win situation. Those who seek him always have a taste for the wicked and deranged, so it’s easy to figure out what they want and twist it for his own benefit. When they inevitably die, be it death by old age or death by occupational hazard, Alastor gets useful men from the moment they manifest in Hell. They always know exactly where they are and why, they are not confused sinners, petty crime or moral crime sinners. They are, most times, skilled killers who take no trouble doing Alastor’s bidding. An accomplished killer in life makes an even better prolific hellish soldier, someone who will continue indulging in their desires without the constraints of society, but eternally tied down by Alastor’s constraints. With the right incentive, they can rise in the ranks and become treasured resources for the overlord. Plus, the camaraderie isn’t all bad. Takes one to know one, they say.

However, humans these days are getting careless, sloppy. This entire display is proof of that, they should be over to kill and cover their tracks alone. The basics, for hell’s sake. 

 Alastor only takes care of the details. Tampering with some evidence here, getting a victim on the right place at the right time there. The occasional final encouragement to give into the darkness and finally kill, some advice. A self respecting killer should be able to kill and get away with it without the demon’s aid. He’s there for consulting and making sure there are no loose ends. 

But never this. Having to intervene in the middle of a kill because his client made a very very big mess that screams “you’re getting caught!” is below him. Amateurs are not worth Alastor's time.

The two men approach the tree line, clearly worked up from the hunt and shocked to see him there. If Alastor is withholding a victim, something went very, very wrong.

“Good night my good fellows!” the greeting leaves his lips in an overly-chirpy tone. Is that static in his voice?  Radio static? Is that what’s leaving goosebumps on your skin? The stress and the adrenaline are making you imagine things. You took the “pretend this is all a fantasy and you the main character” too seriously. Because now you are hiding behind Darth Vader’s skirts. That’s impossible, right? right?

“Great.” you can see the sarcasm dripping from one of your aggressors. “You’re here to watch?” the question asked all passive aggressive with an edgy tone. That’s definitely a teenager. What the fuck? you were being chased by a high school kid? This is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, how can a teen pull this off? And you almost died? What? Your mind starts spirling. 

Alastor ignores the son, is the father he cares about. They’ve known each other for years now, and he’s underperforming to say the least. He waits for the father to address him, it’s his mess after all. The older man gives his son a stern look and finally breaks the silence. 

“Goodnight. We didn’t expect to see you here tonight, to be honest.’”

 The second voice is much older. That doesn’t quiet your thoughts at all. Is this a cult initiation thing? Hunting girls down like they are prey? WHY DID YOU TRAVEL TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??? OF COURSE THERE WOULD BE CULTS HERE, DUUUUH. IF I WAS IN A CULT THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT PLACE TO HIDE. There are so many voices screaming inside your head now, you are shivering. With anger, anticipation, fear. Your inner monologue overrides your brain and you are not sure you can cope with everything that’s going on. The voices, all the voices, sound wrong. They land weirdly inside your ear and you need to think hard to understand the words, you know how crucial every piece of information is. They could make all the difference when you talk to the police. They could help a conviction when you are on the stand, giving your official statement. You are surviving this. You are going to watch these fuckers get life in prision or worse.  You are surviving this right? There’s so much you haven’t thought through. Whose hand are you holding again? 

“Oh please. Don’t act all coy now, it doesn’t suit you old friend” Alastor is starting to cross the line from nuisance to anger. He twirls his microphone in annoyance, and makes sure to sink it deep into the moist ground. “Let me remind you about the terms of our agreement. For each 2 kills you make, one soul is mine to take. Or am I wrong?”

“No. You aren’t”. The father answers through gritted teeth.  “But I never thought you would want to collec-” Alastor tilts his head, his grin widens and he snaps “Never thought what? That I would claim what I am owed at my leisure? That I would stop waiting patiently for you, acting at your whim? You earned the privilege of killing unbothered by my vigilance. Because you always delivered your side of the bargain with excellence. I can revoke said privilege whenever I want. Especially after this pitiful performance.” The seasoned killer seems to slightly cower at Alastor’s words. Good. He always regarded the demon without fear or trepidation. His work was meticulous, spotless, basically perfect. And that gave him the justifiable confidence for going toe to toe with the Radio Demon during conversations, a bargaining chip during dealings of his contracts. Few could say that. 

You feel nauseous. Reality is crashing down at you hard and fast. How many people have these people killed? They are trading lives like it is the stock market, and yet you can’t let go of your prince charming’s hand. There’s no rational thought to justify it, actually rational thought is also being slaughtered like a sacrificial lamb tonight, because despite the gigantic red flags you are not letting go of this man’s hands. Everything about him screams danger, everything about him screams your safety. He’s the type of paradoxical that messes with your primal senses, that makes a moth go to the lights that will kill it. 

From the crook of his arm you finally gather the courage to open your eyes. You try to look up to your prince charming, but his face is concealed by the shadows of the night. Actually, everything of importance seems to be conveniently hidden from you. Your aggressor’s faces look distorted, recognizable traits melting together like watercolor painted by 100 shades of darkness, voices and words fuse together creating only cacophony. You hear things, you see things, but you can’t discern them. The three men keep going back and forth, but their conversation seems to dissipate into the air. Everything about this feels like a dream. 

Of course you can’t register anything of importance. Alastor makes sure of it. You are a potential victim after all. A liability, capable of making a positive identification. It’s wishful thinking that someone would take your account of what’s happening on this dreadful night seriously.

 Alastor has no shame in using the prejudices of your world to his advantage. If you were to tell, everyone would make the assumption that you are “just another hysterical woman, thinking too much about folktales”. You had too much to drink, partied too hard. Hallucinogens are a common party drug and this is the result of a bad trip. At worst, “someone tried to spike your drink, but nothing happened. You should be thankful, not getting in the way of important police work”. Alastor also knows that injustice is no real crime, and yet he decided to spare you. It doesn’t feel fair for you to perish in such crude ways, a practice run for a post pubescent, obnoxious serial killer in training. A precious thing like you should be honored, savored. In the odd chance that your voice was heard, the Radio Demon  guarantees that no reliable information will come out of your mouth. His clients might be lacking, but in the dealmaking business your words are your worth and Alastor has a silvertongue. Surely that pretty mouth of yours won’t be a problem. 

“I’m afraid I have to insist, my good friend. The pair of you caused enough damage already with these sloppy, impetuous spree killings. Your law enforcement is already on your scent, tracking the pattern and by the looks of it tonight’s mess will send quite a message. A message that I will have to make sure is delivered faultlessly. I will uphold my hand of the bargain, you will uphold yours. The girl will be spared. There’s plenty of prey out there, plus her death would only act as an aggravation, she’s not your type, and trust me, they will know you made a mistake, you will be exposed.” The Radio Demon’s patience is wearing thin. He shouldn’t have to justify his actions to humans. There’s no compromise to be found here, they went to him and the deal is always on his terms. You squeeze his hand really tight during the discussion of your scheduled demise, like a reminder that you are still there. Still afraid. 

 How cute. Alastor thinks. Your adrenaline is starting to wear off, dissipating into the cool forest breeze and opening space for a strong sense of false security, equally as inebriating. The smell of your sweet fear laced blood is unmistakable, assaulting your savior’s nostrils. Your knees buckle, and you struggle to keep yourself on your feet, clinging to prince charming’s hand for dear life. “Breathe darling, you are forgetting to breathe” He turns quickly towards you, his voice impossibly soft, shooting. You try to look up at charming’s face again, the only new discovery made is that he's awfully tall, and his face is still hidden by opaque darkness. You work really hard on breathing normally again, but you want to keep looking. Their faces are a monstrous distortion, vacant eyes that seem to cry blood. Your entire body tingles, you feel weird goosebumps. It takes all of your willpower to keep standing. You won’t lay yourself at their feat, defeated, like the corpse they would drag from these woods. But you just can’t keep looking, so you shut your eyes and grip the hand that has become your lifeline even tighter.

“You won’t even truly use the bitch, she’s no use for you” The entitled brat opens his mouth again. That’s the trigger.

The Radio Demon grows as tall as the native pine trees, his antlers furiously expanding and casting a shadow so dark over the two serial killers that the moon is completely obstructed. The only source of light in the forest now is the burning red dials of his eyes. The father sees the burning inferno of Alastor’s eyes and for the first time he is speechless. Maybe the realization of where destiny is sending him finally happens. The son sees raw, untamed power for the first time in his life and cowers like a scared puppy. Pathetic. 

“Now let’s get something clear here. I’m only tolerating your insolence because of my decade long relationship with your father.” You shut your eyes harder, your eyelids a shield from whatever is about to happen. Foreboding making the forest air too thick for you to breathe. You finally break down and start crying, too fucking much.  Alastor’s face meets the son on eye level. His teeth are bared, static picks up around the group to the point both men are struggling to breathe. A clawed hand traps the father’s face, a trail of blood dripping from the older serial killer’s cheek.“He’s as close to a professional as our kind gets. Shame the same thing can’t be said about you. This juvenile outburst does not make you more feared nor does it assert your dominance. It displays how weak you are, inept to succeed on this because you can’t keep your entitled demeanor in check. You are not owed anything in this lifestyle, if you want something you need to prove you’re worthy of it by taking it yourself. Whining like a petulant child won’t get you anywhere” You feel dizzy, the earth beneath your feet quakes,  whoever, whatever is holding your hand is sheeting with rage so consuming the ground shakes with the intensity of their emotions.

Alastor’s attention is now focused on the father, the red inferno from his eyes making the man feel genuine fear for the first time in his long, violence-filled life.  “Teach your spawn some manners and proper work, otherwise get him out of my sight. This was a courtesy. Fulfillment failings lead to contract termination, and contract termination means a lot of details appearing. You do not wish to make an enemy of me” Alastor delivers his last threat with a snarl. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up at the intensity of his words, you feel a powerful rush of wind, leaves ruffling, hurried steps and suddenly the world is at a standstill. The forest seems devoid of life excluding you, your mysterious prince charming and your two aggressors. All of your senses are assaulted with an overwhelming feeling of wrongness… darkness. Darkness that feels like the most luxurious silky dress on your skin, the most intense look of a passionate lover. It feels dangerously alluring and your will power is being gladly tempted by it. 

You feel like you’ve been holding your breath for hours, the rollercoaster of adrenaline inducing hyperventilation and conscious calming breaths making your brain enter some sort of high. Is that what people felt after a battle in ancient times? Is that what It means to stare death in the face and come out victorious? You don’t understand what you are feeling, but when oxygen finally feels normal again, tall, dark and handsome is escorting you deeper into the woods and you don’t even care.

 You’ve just slayed the dragon with your bare hands. You don’t care. You just want to bask on the feeling. To fucking feel. To remind yourself that you are still alive. 

Alastor is drunk on something that he rarely indulges in. Desire. Pure, raw carnality that makes him antagonize one of his greatests clients. Someone Alastor awaited his inevitable death with anxiety and hopefulness, someone he could actually call more than a partner in crime when in hell. A friend. A friendship born from blood and gore but bathed in kinship and inexplicable understanding of one’s dark nature. And the Radio Demon almost killed the man and his useless spawn and fucked everything up because when he saw your running for your life something ignited inside him. When you squeezed his hand so tightly, with such abandon and trust, like he was an Angel sent from heaven to protect you when reality was the most wicked antonym. 

Alastor spared you because you were prey. Beautiful, delicious prey that defied your destiny by accepting the nature of your condition. You didn’t dare to fight, you didn’t dare to think you could stand a chance against your hunters. You just fled. You fled and was perfectly lured into another trap, you doubled the bet when you held his hand and didn’t let go, serving all of your vulnerability on a silver platter to someone you deep down knew was way worse than any serial killer. 

Prey, that will chew its own leg to get out of a trap. Prey, that will offer herself to the most ungodly creature around if it means she can survive a few more moments, just to spite those who started the chase. Prey, that now holds his hand completely carefree and all giggles while she is led to a much more final and insidious type of slaughter. Prey that he was now going to claim.

Your wounded feet start to land on soft squishy things, a familiar scent invades your nostris. From the scent of sweat, blood and gore now to the scent of juicy, plump strawberries. 

“Hey, are we on a strawberry field?” it’s the first time you addressed him directly. You trail behind him, hurried steps crushing the strawberries on your way. You look up and for the first time you can see open skies. “You don’t need to worry my dear, you are perfectly safe now”

Are you? 

You decide that he doesn’t sound like  Darth Vader anymore, his voice is impossibly staticy, it prickles your skin and it feels like goosebumps that accompany butterflies on your stomach. He sounds like someone you would meet at a ball and have a cinderella moment with. The blanket of stars that illuminates the clearing you ferociously fought for grants you a better vision of his figure: scarlet red, snug tailcoat, perfectly tailored. Long legs and trousers that fit like skinny jeans. He dresses like the lead singer from a classic emo band. You can’t say you are complaining, you always loved the idea of a tall dark and handsome prince charming. 

“So, you have some weird friends don’t you?” you ask him. You can hear him chuckle, it is a very pleasant sound. Suddenly the twirls you, a fucking disney princess’ musical number twirl, and you find yourself in front of very big bed. 

With impeccable white sheets, you mind adds. Must be really hard to maintain white sheets in the middle of a strawberry field. Wait, what is a king size bed doing in the middle of th-

“Ah, I don’t really do friends, more like reluctant colleagues” bootleg brandon urie is the melancholic type, then. 

Alastor finally takes a good look at you when you take your seat on the bed with a contented sigh. You look marvelous. Your hair is messy and wild, your cheeks and neck flushed red from the effort. Your eyes big and pliant, waiting for his answers. You look so human, so deliciously alive. He desperately wants to be the cause of your disarray, to make the blood rush to your face under his materfully wicked touch. To feel your pulse fluttering when he touches your neck. 

You still can’t see all of him though. There’s stars, a big full moon whose light outstretches far, bathing the clearing in ethereal silver. The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, your savior is always in the shadows.

By now you know he is purposefully hiding his identity from you, but you always liked a game.  Plus you don’t really have anything to lose now, you just want to forget everything that happened to you tonight, you just want to inebriate yourself, and charming really looks like someone who could show you a good time.

Either that or you are having a psychotic break after enduring life threatening stress. 

Anyway, you decide to bite. One possible psychotic murder, funny, charming murderer is better than two lukewarm ones.

“Do you always take random women to a creepy bed  with impeccable white sheets in the middle of the woods or am I just special?” not a chuckle now, a laugh. A beautiful, full laugh. The residual static on your skin making you shiver. 

Alastor completely understands what you are trying to do, and it’s truly hilarious. Your petulance and sarcasm towards him means to an end. You’re so precious, talking to him like this, thinking you could take him at his own game. What a beauty! Seeing you think you are succeeding in this only for him to take that conviction away from you at the last minute is going to be so entertaining. He wants you to dig your own grave, lay yourself at his feet.

He doesn’t indulge you, instead he takes a thick, silky strand of your hair and inhales deeply. You smell like sweet innocence and summer. It makes Alastor euphoric. 

His head tilts down as he smells your hair. You don’t that’s creepy, it looks creepy, it sounds creepy, but you feel reverence in his action. 

And then out of the shadows comes a revelation, you see his horns. You suspected his unhumanity, but the confirmation of it knocks the wind out of you. Your eyes widen, you simply cannot make sense of this night, everything feels too surreal and raw reality at the same time, it’s giving you whiplash.

“Are you the devil?” you ask him without much consideration of the weight of this question. You do your best to keep your voice from failing but it’s impossible. You never dropped his hand, in fact you feel like you are permanently attached to him, like a marble statue. Your fingers open and interlock again and again, reflecting your anxiety, but you don’t let go.

You can’t see it, but Alastor’s grin is as big as a cheshire cat’s.

 “Do you seek the devil?” answering a question with a question. Smoke and mirrors. Alastor waits for you to answer, but you don’t. You don’t know what to answer, you try to contemplate if enganding further could mean eternal damnation, or if you are already damned. Is he going to make you an offer you can’t refuse? an offer you aren’t allowed to refuse? Alastor will blame it on lack of patience, but the fact is he can’t wait anymore to taste you, there’s a burning desire inside him, that only gets more and more ferocious as he tastes the inebriating smell of your fear blessing the air he breathes again. 

He removes your interlocking fingers, his hand quickly trapping your tiny wrist inside. You hear heavy breathing. 

“Or do you seek a taste of the forbidden fruit?” The demon licks the long cut across our open palm. His tongue is sensual and cold, the sensation of it slowly dragging across your wounded skin a soothing balm. You moan, he growls. “Forbidden fruit it is.” he announces, delivered like a sentence. 

You are completely free of his touch for the first time since it all began, but it feels like you just suffered an enormous loss. You feel taunted, like someone just dangled a shiny new thing in front of you and took it away. It’s like your entire being has become tunnel vision and you need to get to the bottom of this, whatever this is. Consequences be damned. 

You watch closely as your paranormal paramour moves towards the bed, he is completely concealed by the darkness. Darkness deep and palpable, he morphs within it. The visuals are beautiful, it looks like one of the art’s greatest masters is painting a watercolor in front of you. Darkness from absence of light floating and mixing with otherworldly opaque darkness, flowing like a river. You wonder if it would run through your fingers like water if you touch it. 

Antlers. He has antlers, not horns. 

The not-devil settles himself behind you, back against the headboard. He quickly maneuvers you onto his lap, grabbing you by the waist. You squeal in surprise as more of him touches you, now pressed flush against his hard chest you feel something you shouldn’t be feeling, nonetheless resistance is futile, you spread your legs giving him more access. He has barely touched you, and yet you are completely surrendered to him. 

Alastor wasn’t joking when he established that a woman like you should be savored, slowly consumed so he can extract everything you have to offer. He knows your mind is exhausting itself trying to discern what is happening, how the body and the spirit get more susceptible to succumb to desire after surviving imminent death, and he intends to take full advantage of it. Alastor wants to see you writhe under his touch, pain and pleasure. He wants to torment you and make you pay for existing near him, for making him careless. For making him indulge in carnality and arousal. But mainly, he wants to punish you, because you battled so hard for your survival against them. When you should fear him. 

The Radio Demon touches your neck, exactly where your pulse is, where he can feel your beating heart, full of life pulsing. Life that taunts him and seduces him. The thump thump thump of your heart beneath his fingers like a moth going directly to the light that will kill it. He holds your entire life, your entire existence under his clawed finger, it makes him delirious. 

You feel a sharp sting on your neck, fangs that break your skin and spill your blood, red and ready for his taking. Holding your breath while he sucks the life out of you, your head swims,  and you drown on the feelings. You feel pleasure, forbidden pleasure from having something hurting and feasting on you. 

“If you are not the devil, are you a vampire?” It might be a dumb question, but it’s the logical one. Sometimes the obvious needs to be said.  He laughs again, a full deep laugh,mockery dripping from it.

“Why? If I were a vampire would it make you feel better about spilling your blood for me?” he dodges the question again. Bait and switch. He’s feeding on you and you are enjoying it.. You don’t know what he is, you don’t know his name. It only spurs the burning desire in the pit on your stomach.

Alastor licks the entire length of your neck, his other hand applying light pressure on your pulse point. He bites down on you again, harder, going deeper. You roll your eyes and moan obscenely  as he sucks on it. This is going to leave a mark for sure, but you don’t care, because whatever he’s doing to you feels delirious, it’s the best thing you’ve ever felt. 

Your blood is dripping from Alastor’s lips, he licks it not wanting to waste a drop. He can taste your eagerness, your fear, your essence, your soul. The red liquid is solid proof of how alive and defenseless you are, completely at his mercy. You keep moaning and melting on his lap at his ministrations, a finger starts tracing your arm, feather light touch that leaves you shivering in anticipation. 

He’s gently scratching, teasingly. It’s a claw, you realize. Another part of his unhumanity making you scared and deliciously trembling in anticipation. It’s Alastor’s turn to moan now, his clawed finger comes to torment your clothed nipple, he makes sure to do it tantalizing slow to give you just a taste of what it could be. He wants to hear you ask for it, beg even.

 “I’m afraid I’m way worse than the Devil, little doe” his low, threatening tone makes you close your legs together and rub, desperately seeking friction, some relief. 

“Re–really? You don’t sound that bad” A lie. You just want to say something back.

Your paramour laughs again, he takes your hand in his and starts making his way downwards. 

“How precious are you, lying like that to me” He stops both of your hands on your lower belly, threatening to cross the point of no return. You squeal and struggle on a desperate attempt to raise your hips and get something more, anything.

Delighted in seeing you writhe this badly when he has not even properly touched you, Alastor squeezes your neck tighter, inflicting just enough pain and pressure to make you sing. The Radio Demon finally makes the decision and drops any pretense of moderation, hastily dropping the band of your panties and guiding your joined hands to your slit. “I can taste the fear in your blood, how your sense of pleasure has been forever skewed”.

The two digits tease your entrance that is coated with arousal and something more, his touch is masterful, like he knows the ways of the human body the same way a talented musician knows their way around an instrument. He makes you moan, he makes you sing with only the possibility of his actions. The idea of being taken by something unholy. 

At last, Alastor finally enters your  tight wet pussy, his finger guides yours as he undoes you in ways that should not be allowed. He pumps your cunt mercilessly, gone are the careful, calculated touches, he wants to make you crash and burn as quick as possible, he wants to make you understand that you crossed the most important line of your life. There’s no going back now, your pretty mortal body is forever tainted by unholiness, by his darkness. 

“You spread yourself like this for me, a wanton little thing while I choke and feast on your blood”. Alastor curls the fingers inside you repeatedly making you move your hips in the maniac rhythm he has set. You ride your joined digits, moaning like a whore while your lover’s grip on your throat tightens and releases making your brain short circuits in pure unknown carnal feeling. “You are not the demure, feisty thing like you desperately tried to prove earlier. It only takes the slight touch of something forbidden to make you moan like a common whore” he adds another one of his huge fingers and starts scissoring inside you, the combination of two of his digits and your little one only adds insult to injury. You will never be able to replicate these ministrations, the feeling of being this full and stretched, you had a taste of the forbidden fruit, you are high on it and you will never get another hit on your own. 

Alastor alternates between choking you and curling the fingers inside you, your lightheadedness combined with the assaulting pleasure making you feel feverishly delirious. Your body is hot from desire and adrenaline combined, a starking contrast to your mysterious lover’s touch, ice cold. The two of you distinct seasons, distinct stages of existence mixing together, life and death tethering each other, blurring the lines of worlds that shouldn’t exist together. 

Orgasm building quickly, you grip the white sheets tighter and tighter and tighter but your fingers feel wet, you look down to see a mess of redness leaking from your core. 

Oh fuck, you are on your period. You completely forgot about it. In normal circumstances you would feel mortified about being fingered like this while bleeding, but right now it makes things even more erotic, you’ve learned that your lover may not be a vampire, but he definitely has a thing for blood and something inside you ignites at the idea of letting him feast on your blood, eat you out while you bleed for him. 

Your pussy flutters with the fantasy of that tongue working your pussy and with a particularly harsh pinch on your clit you are off. Waves of pleasure spread across your entire body like wildfire, he chokes you merciless making the urge to scream to the universe how fucking good you feel impossible. You want to scream his name, but you don’t know who he is, what he is. You just want more.  

While you ride the waves of your orgasm unbothered Alastor takes the opportunity to take fingers from your pussy to his mouth, red with blood and slick with arousal, he moans audibly as he tastes you, the most intimate parts of you. Only a little bit of it inebriates him, this is better than 70% of what he does in Hell. This feels better than closing a new deal, watching the princess of Hell fail miserably at rehabilitating sinners. You taste so sweet, so alive and afraid. He’s hard with the conviction of how scared you are, of how he has permanently tainted something so innocent and pure. How you stupidly threw yourself to his mercy. Perishing at the hand of those serial killers is more merciful than him. And now you will know. 

You must have babbled something while you came, about wanting to scream his name and not knowing it, because now you find yourself completely lying down, the bed feels soft like a cloud and you are sprawled like an angel, and he finally reveals something about him of his own volition.

“The name is Alastor, my dear. It has definitely been a pleasure meeting you.” Alastor, now you know, settles himself between your thighs and the pooling redness from your core. You feel him running his claws across the impossibly soft flesh of your inner thighs, you cover your face with your arm.

“Alastor I’ve never… No one has ever…” you trail off, you shouldn’t be embarrassed at this point, but nevertheless you feel your cheeks burning. Is he really going to eat your bloody pussy? fuck.

Alastor’s name on your lips sounds so soft, so pure. He wants to ruin it. He wants to destroy the careful constructed cognitive dissonance that makes you feel safe and comfortable around him. He wants you to be completely afraid and craving being scared of him, disrupting your sense of pleasure so he can ruin you completely, getting you hooked on him and delirious for more, willing to do anything for another taste of the forbidden fruit.

So, he makes you look.

“Look at me” you don’t want to. You feel a lot of things right now, but mainly you feel as if you really take a look at your dark lover tragedy is going to happen. Eros and psyche all over again, but bloodier. 

He claws your thighs, you hiss at the delicious pain, but still disobey him. 

“Look. At. Me” he snarls, definitely a threat. You feel yourself getting wetter. 

Alastor slaps your ass, hard. He’s losing patience, his temper turning quick at the realization that you not knowing who he is isn’t a perfect plan.

You moan from the pain, from the sting. It feels wickedly erotic. You almost want him to hit you again. Since when pain felt so fucking good?

So you do, you finally look at him. 

Red. The first thing that your brain fixates on is how much red there is. Scarlet red hair, red blood running down your core and staining the white sheets. Red claws that pierce your skin. 

Red eyes. Burning red eyes that entrap you. It’s like you can see the blazing fire that tortures the damned inside those eyes. 

If this is why people fall from grace, you totally understand the appeal now.

The second thing, the thing that makes you transfixed at the sight of him is how wrong he looks. His antlers are beautiful, growing from his scarlet hair beautifully adorning ears that look extremely soft, non-threatening, like a crown. His eyes are big and sharp, close together 

while he stares at your soul, eyes of a predator in the middle of softness of prey. His grin is completely predatory, dangerous, sharp teeth that hurt and maul, but at the same time bite you just the right way to make you moan in raw carnality. The skin is pale, not in a michael-jackson-thriller-way but in an ethereal way. His voice is static that seems to tickle your skin, sometimes more than others. He’s paradoxical, everything you should be afraid of and the comfort you should seek at the same time. A force you shouldn’t meddle with. Primal and raw. 

You may not know what exactly he is, but one thing is certain: he’s dangerously alluring, and you completely fell into his trap. But it hardly matters anymore, because he is about to drink blood from your pussy with that marvelous silvertongue of his.

“Fucking beautiful” you blur out, not realising he’s going to hear you.

One of Alastor’s eyebrows shoots up. He’s not regarded as beautiful often. Alluring, maybe. 

He wants to make you pay for all the soft ideas you have about him.

You soon learn how hard it is to hold the gaze of your lover’s eyes, his burning red irises entrap you. It's impossible to look away but overwhelming to stare into. 

“If all the mortal men you’ve been with are weak and pathetic enough to decline the dark gift of your bleeding cunt, then I’m honored to be your first” and without much more warning you feel a delicious cold tongue licking your entrance and you are off

 Alastor isn’t eating you out, he’s feasting on you like you are his last chance of salvation. His face is completely buried deep in between your legs as his tongue assaults you at a merciless pace. He makes sure not to waste a drop of anything your gushing pussy gives him. His tongue enters you and the contrast between your tight heat and his coldness makes you delirious. Exquisite carnal pleasure, you could cum from it alone.

Alastor is having a hard time navigating this double edged knife: you don’t know who he is what is capable of, which means your aren’t near as scared of being this vulnerable with him as you should be, a literal cannibal delighting in your soft flesh, drinking the warmth of your sacred blood. You must taste delicious terrified. But the silver lining is that the fear he inspires would make any woman who knows more compliant to this, even offering this to him freely. You have no idea about his exploits, he can and he will tarnish you with all of his unholy darkness, wrecking your world during the eleventh hour when you realize what you’ve done, who you’ve so easily corrupted your morals and your spirit for. You’re so beautiful, so naive, so trusting, so alive. You moan “Alastor, Alastor, Alastor” soft ohhhs and aaaahs as he polishes your cunt, every sound you make, every twitch of your legs and roll of your lips reminding your ungodly lover of how delicate and rare you are, aiding him on his mission. Gripping the sheets isn’t enough anymore, you instinctively place your hands on his antlers, the texture indescribable. Again, the contradiction of the softness of his velvet and the sharpness of his teeth, wickedness of his tongue giving you whiplash. You start rubbing them furiously, trying to mirror his ministries on your swollen folds. It definitely is doing something to him because he drags his teeth along your inner tie, breaking more skin, drawing more blood, hissing. You scream at the heavenly pain mixed with unholy pleasure.

Normally, Alastor wouldn’t let anyone near his antlers, arguably the most sensitive part of his body. If worked right, the sensations take him to another level of desire, insane carnality. But you taste so sweet, rich blood mixed with erotic arousal on a soft flesh platter, he consumes your innocence as he coaxes another orgasm from you. You hold on to dear life on his antlers, his velvet shedding and bloodying your hands, running through adding to the painting of reds that connects you two. Something ignites on you and it’s the most intense orgasm of your life, you feel every nerve burning from everlasting fire, that transforms and transforms until it explodes in a supernova. You don’t have the strength to scream, so you whisper Alastor’s name like a filthy prayer. 

He looks up grinning like a devil. Something makes you open your eyes as you ride out the waves of pleasure. There’s so much blood, blood dripping from his lips, blood on his nose, blood cascading down his bewitching face mixing in a flowing current of red, it ends in a glistening red pool where you meet each other in immoral sin, so inviting you could jump in. It’s like what would happen if the killers had caught you, but twisted into wicked, ungodly pleasure, it’s almost worse. Because well, if you’re killed you’d be dead and would never have experienced this, but now you have and the ephemerality of this night crashes on you and you feel conned, betrayed. 

 He licks his lips and stares right at you, a doe caught in the headlights of his eyes, you almost cum again. 

Alastor feels delirious from the bloody mess in front of him, carnality so powerful it makes him insane, he needs to finish this. He needs to sink his cook deep into your slick cunt. Pushing himself up, he starts to position his cock on your entrance. He’s so tall, the shadows of his bloodied antlers cover you and hide the welcoming silver lighting of the moon. The stars look so different today, and the welcoming sight of a full moon looks merciless, devoid of warmth and hope.

“Women like you are not meant for mortal men. They cannot honor you, they cannot savor you, they cannot satisfy you. Once you take a bite of the forbidden fruit you understand your place. Pliant and submissive beneath me. To be ravished and tamed by something beyond puny mortality. You are made to me fucked, to be owned by the better man who defied destiny and transcended what the hands of fate enforced on him. You are Helen of Troy, tailor made to fit my cock, satisfy my thirst”

He teases your entrance with just the tip, making you greedly roll your hips towards him, a primal response to the ravishing words. Alastor laughs mockling at you attempt of getting him to fuck you on your terms, your time. You may not be aware of everything but by now you know you can’t outfox and fox on his own game. 

“please. please. PLEASE” you scream the last word, you can’t take it anymore. A second without him touching your body feels like an eternity. 

“Tsk. You look so pretty when you beg” the condescending compliment lands like music on your ears and he finally enters you. Inch after inch he spreads your tight walls open, practically breaking you. You understand now why people in times before yours had sex after battle. It’s the most rare and coveted feeling in existence, to greet imminent death, escape her fatal calling and then do the thing that undoubtedly proves you are alive. Only to meet her again at the finish line of carnal sensations and no rational thought. Primal need to feel, to live.

Alastor finally bottoms out with an animalistic growl, making your shiver under him. He fucks you at a merciless pace, he fucks you with haste, with urgency and abandon. He knows what he needs and he is going to take it. 

“Hoooooly FUCK Alastor” you scream. 

“There’s nothing holy here. Everything that’s holy has abandoned you. There’s only me, your wicked god who has you completely at his mercy, to fuck, to break” he takes it all out and enters you at once. You try so bad to look at him, to hold his piercing gaze with adamantine conviction but you can’t. It’s too much, overstimulation creeps on you and everything hurts. You shut your eyes. 

“Look at me. Fucking look at me or I will stop” it’s not an order, it’s a threat. You should be scared, you feel scared, but tonight fear is diesel to your desire, and the pain makes you enter a mind numbing stage. The lines of torture and relief blurring together until you can’t discern a thing, you feel. 

You do as you’re told. You look at him as he fucks you, thrusting like a mad man, obscene sounds reverberating throughout, you are being so loud you are sure they can hear you back on the village. The village, your cabin. You had a life before tonight. Will there be life after tonight?

You don’t have time to have an existential crisis because what Alastor does next gets your undivided attention. 

“You will look at the demon who is ruining you, fucking you. You are no immaculate maiden anymore. You are a common whore for the Radio Demon” your eyes widen at the revelation. He is not a vampire, he’s not the devil. The fact that he is a demon and not satan makes you even more mortified, like you’ve settled for less. Just a little demon is what it takes to completely undo you. 

Alastor keeps thrusting at a breakneck pace, feeling vindicated. He did exactly what he said he would do, he took the last fiber of comfort, of dignity away from you. He can see your  entire world shattering on your beautiful doe eyes, making you finally feel the right amount of horror on the edge of a rapturous orgasm. 

You feel true terror now, there was still a slimmer hope that he wasn’ evil incarnated, that he had a redeeming quality. After all, he saved you. Didn’t he save you? Or did you start something you are not even close to understanding? You feel terrified because there’s a demon fucking you, biting you, feasting on your blood and you fucking love it, you want it every night. You really took a bite from the forbidden fruit and ruined yourself.

“It’s too much, Alastor I can’t” the words leave your lips and feel like confession, like somehow if you admit your complete surrender it will absolve you of something.

“Too. Bad.” Alastor punctuates his point with delicious sharp trust after each word. He finally tainted you with his darkness and made you aware of it. He feels delirious, he feels like victory incarnated. Your moans grow louder and louder, now pleasure means pain, hell means rapture. Things that should not exist together making you feel the best you have ever felt. Tears spill from your eyes, the overstimulation something you’ve never felt before, mind numbing and life-altering.

In an act of paradoxical mercy, your demon lover rubs your clit and you’re out like a light. Your walls tighten around Alastor’s cock, and white hot pain, blinding red pleasure overcomes you. You feel like falling, you feel your literal fall from grace as your body tingles and burns with ineffable, forbidden pleasure. Alastor howls and cums inside you. 

You land on silky, comfortable, alluring darkness. 

-

The cool forest breeze greets your abused skin, it stings but feels soothing at the same time. Paradoxical, like everything from this night. Alastor holds you tight, cradling your head on his chest, petting your hair. He draws lazy circles on your hip bone, featherlight touch, careful and coy. You turn on your side to face him.

“Can you see it now? It’s beautiful, he’s so beautiful” your mind asks you. You agree.

You start giggling, laughing. It is also so funny.

“What’s so funny, little doe?” Alastor asks you, genuinely amused. He feels elated from this night. He feels satiated, contented. It’s a very rare feeling for him. 

“For a while I seriously considered you are an alien” you tell him, you can’t contain your laughter now. You are so silly. Alastor’s eyebrow shoots up, quizzical. He chuckles and indulges you. “Alien, is so mundane. You could never be an Alien, it’s way too easy”. What your giddy minds means is that now you know Alastor is anything but easy, actually there’s nothing like him. He’s something else. Something entirely different, a delicious mystery that creeps inside your heart, haunts you forever. 

You stop laughing when realization hits you.

“Will I ever see you again, Alastor?” you ask him, your voice failing, nothing more than a whisper. You feel the ephemerality of this night, you feel daylight closing, ruthless sun rising that ends this everlasting dream. 

Alastor stares deeply into your eyes, he sees your wanton desire, your trepidant expectations. “That depends entirely on you, my dear doe. It’s time to make a decision.” his voice is so soft it fucking hurts. 

You look at the fading moon on the horizon, the distant stars judge you, the earliest of birds sing for you. 

Yet from those starts, no light but rather, darkness visible.

-

You open your eyes, you feel impossibly rested. Your bed feels soft and you want to visit dreamland again, but the noise stops you.

Songbirds and blazing sirens mix together a cacophony of urgency. You get up fast, trying to remember little bits and pieces of the crazy dream you had and run to the big window across the room. 

You look down, you see ambulances, police cars, lab coats and tall guys in FBI jackets.

Something definitely happened here last night.

 That explains it then, the nature of your murderous dreams. The sirens creeped their way into your subconscious making that murderous, dreadful dream. You take a quick look and your hands and see nothing. Perfect, unblemished skin. 

It felt so real. Strawberry fields and blood. 

Your neighbor from across the street gestures manically at you from her window. 

Fuck, it must have been really bad. There’s a lot of people at your doorstep. 

Hurrying to put your robe on, you fly down the stairs towards the bustling crowd outside. 

You are dying to know what happened. You were always a vivid dreamer.

You reach the hall and open the door, a polite officer starts talking to you.

You don’t notice the old radio on your vanity, or the opaque darkness that followed you from the corner of your room to the world outside.

[docdudo]

Going off of the lastest post, does it mean that like, hybrids rough house a lot more than humans? Since Ghost told Soap to not play with the human "like that" yet or something, also, just curious, what are some types of games hybrids play with their kids?

So, yes, it is pretty common for hybrids to rough house between themselves, much more than humans. Due to their instincts and energy levels, it's pretty natural for hybrids to start wrestling eachother. And even tho I wrote that it was "play wrestling", for hybrids, it's very rough. It would certainly be dangerous for a human to participate.

Not in this case, tho. Soap is extremely careful around his pups, always has been and always will be. He's gentle when play fighting, but he is pretty energetic. Might scare little reader away at the first second he starts to round their body playfully.

He's the kind of papa who likes to make his pups attack him back viciously. Actually, he and Price are both like this. When they play fight, they are very mindful of their kids, always making sure they don't go overboard since they are still hightly trained military men.

But they like rough fights. Rough in a way that hybrid kids/teens don't mind being when they know their parent can take it. Reader is... not only not vicious at all, but also pretty soft all around. Johnny will eventually manage to have a play fight with them after they get used to their new home, but to get them to actually fight viciously like a hybrid? Nah kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Also, most games hybrids play are very... movement based? Like, hybrid kids and teens are pretty energetic, so their games are also like that. They like to play tag a lot, tho their version of tag is more like a "Prey/Predator" kinda of chase. Pretty intense, and usually ending up in wrestling on the ground.

Which is another very famous game for them, wrestling/rough housing at all giving moments. It's so common for hybrids when they are young that barely no one bats an eye at two or more young hybrids going at eachother or being a little too rough.

They also play hide 'n seek, but once again... it's more of a "Prey/Predator" foucused game.

The other kind of games they like to play are all competition games. So, maybe racing, or climbing, or doing whatever they can to best the other for no particular reason.

Hybrid parents like to rough house with their kids, but they are always more careful.

[ur-boyfiend]

will o' the wisp

-> fae!felix x m!reader -> a walk in the woods ends up going down a path you didn't expect -> a/n : another one w/ a kinda rushed / incomplete ending i don't super love , might continue it if people want me to tho :3

you shake your flashlight, groaning when you only get a brief moment of light from it. you'd just put new batteries in but of course something in it still isn't working properly. you give it one more harsh smack against your palm, hearing it rattle and getting a slightly more sustained beam. you could use the light on your phone, but you don't want it to die.

you consider your situation, you're half-lost in the woods, your flashlight is in the process of breaking, your phone doesn't have enough charge for you to use it for long, and you're not in quite enough trouble to justify using it. you're good at making bad decisions, but this one might just take the cake.

just as your light flickers out again, there's a floating ball of light that appears a little further down the trail. you hesitate for a second, but you figure if you've made it this far, what's one more bad decision?

you head in the direction of the light, and it blinks out just as you reach it. a second later, another light flickers into existence a bit further on. again, you follow it.

after a few cycles of this, you start to feel like you're playing some sort of hide-and-seek mixed with tag, but there's not much else for you to do except keep going.

eventually, the light flickers out and stays out. you sigh, a bit disappointed. it'd gotten fun after a bit.

when you look around, you notice that you don't know where you are anymore, and it's gotten even darker than it had been. you take the cap off your flashlight, switch which side the batteries are in, and screw the cap back on, making it as tight as you can.

this time, when you click your light on, it stays on. it's not much help, you still don't know where you are, but at least now you can see where you are. as the beam of light cuts through the trees, it catches on something bright white, sticking out like a beacon in the dark foliage you'd been seeing.

you train the light on the spot of brightness, feeling thorns and bushes whipping at your legs as you make your way through the forest. a particularly nasty thorn bush hits your thigh and you hiss, feeling a sharp pain.

there's not much you can do about it, so you continue further into the trees. the spot of light gets brighter and brighter, the trees making way for a small clearing.

you squint slightly, your eyes taking a moment to focus in on, a person? there's a boy, you think about your age, sleeping on a tree branch, one leg hanging off the edge of it. the brightness you'd been following reveals itself to be fluffy white hair.

you're entranced, the boy looks unearthly, and you mentally thank the lights for leading you here. you take a cautious step into the clearing, then another, then another. you're a foot or two past the tree line when you hear a branch snap under your foot.

you're not sure who's more surprised by it, yourself, or the boy in the tree, since you both jump at the sudden noise. the boy whips his head towards you, and you hold your hands up, one palm facing him, the other still gripping your light.

"who are you, how did you get here?" the boy's voice is shockingly deep, but still manages to remind you of tinkling bells.

you open and close your mouth a few times, not sure how, or even if, you should answer.

thinking back to old folktales your dad would read to you as a child, you answer, "i'm a traveler. and i followed the wisps."

the boy cocks his head, "the will o wisps brought you here?"

"most of the way, after they left my light caught your hair and i just followed that the rest."

instead of responding, the boy squints slightly at you.

"you're bleeding."

you'd forgotten about that, and when you look down at your leg you see that the gash is worse than you thought.

you just offer a shrug, "yeah y'all got some nasty bushes here."

the boy laughs, and once again you're reminded of the ocean and bells.

the boy hops out of the tree, seeming to float to the ground. this time he reminds you of dandelion fluff. he walks over to you, crouching down slightly to look at your leg.

he holds up a hand, almost touching the gash, but not quite. "may i?"

your brain isn't doing its best work right now, and all you can do is nod. the boy's fingertips graze the gash on your thigh, and you feel an immediate cooling where there'd previously been a sharp ache.

you sigh, grateful that you won't be in as much pain now. the boy stands back up and you grin at him.

"thank you!!"

the boy smiles back and laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners. now that you're standing almost level with him, you notice freckles scattered across his tan skin.

you blink a couple times, before finally being certain, "faerie."

he simply tilts his head at you, and you repeat yourself.

"faerie, you're a faerie." it's not a question, and you both know it.

"i thought you realized that already, after all you didn't tell me your name."

you shrug, "i thought you might be but i wasn't entirely sure, now i am."

he smiles, "you're fascinating."

"i could say the same for you, faerie boy."

[caramelmochacrow]

polym4id cariňosa <3

notes/me going insane abt them under the cut bc i know the tags would be long if i didn't!

first up! carinosa is a folk dance that originates from the colonial era of the philippines. it tells the story of a man and a woman falling in love but are too shy to properly show it so they do a little hide and seek type of thing. the fan and handkerchief play a very important role for the dance because it helps tells the audience their shy way of showing love.

my headcanon for dalia's mother is she's filipino and her father is japanese. her brother has no canon appearance yet so i just made one up for him!

i headcanon dalia being very close to her filipino side of the family since her mother always video-called them when she has the chance ever since she was a kid. her relative gifts her and her brother presents every time it was their birthday or any holiday.

marika is literally the "ideal" dalagang pilipina (on the outside). fair skin, nice attitude, has a good career as a model, and is very sweet. dalia's relatives would probably like her a lot if they didn't know abt the fact marika does NOT clean her room n stuff.

"tito" in english is "uncle", not to be confused w "ninong" which is used for godfathers (ive accidentally called my tito 'ninong' more than two times bc i didnt know this difference when i was younger). the feminine equivalant for both words are "tita" and "ninang".

no one is wondering this but the reason i didn't get any of their boobs out is bc that would be. not good to do. it's a no no. that era in the philippines was very conservative on that kind of thing, so it would be a bit disrespectful (to me) to do such a thing. also how am i supposed to get the tits out w that outfit huh? (and i cant drAW BO--)

also also. if ur curious why some tagalog words remind u of spanish or anything reminds u of something from spain, it's bc spain colonized the philippines for 300 years. that's why some filipinos have "spanish" names. my middle and last name r spanish bc of this. (idk if some of this is correct tho bc i havent went to a filipino history lesson for like. two years technically. reason why i kinda remembered this is bc we were taught this ever since we were like. in kindergarten.)

that saori and dalia one is based on an image in the wikipedia page of carinosa. i rlly liked it a lot even tho it isnt even part of the dance lol. that was the first drawing i did for this and it took me a while to finish haha.

this isnt connected to the drawings (kind of) but back in my old old school in the philippines we had to dance the carinosa for this annual dance competition against every grade, from the kindergarteners to the damn high schoool students. it was a mixed school so there were boys n girls and i was paired up w one of my friends, all of us were practicing rlly hard but when the performance day came, my friend and his brother (also my other friend i think) wasnt there. so i had to be paired up w the girl his brother was supposed to be paired up w, and considering the fact this song is abt a two lovers n stuff it made it pretty gay lol. we did well but we didn't win, i forgot who won tho...

also rika's necklace is from that one art from the character designer where's theyre wearing the yoba academy uniform.

[ff-12]

Ask game? Ask game asks for soup?? Ok!

💝 🎭 🖕 For Rick AND Summer :)

ASKS AT WORK ARE THE BEST ASKS SHHHH im the boss im allowed

💝- a headcanon about their love language

summer is SUCH a quality time kinda gal! interdimensional cable, intergalactic fieldtrips, tag or hide n seek as a youngster.... if she has to verbalize her feelings youre not paying attention!!

rick THINKS hes a verbal affection sort of guy... buuut not really! hes all about ACTIONS. i mean *waves at the entire show* need i say more?? light his cig, break out the glasses, blindfold him..... getting ahead of myself tho.

🎭- a headcanon for what they lie about

HUH interesting!! to preface this, neither of them necessarily Lie, its more like, lies by omission so!

summer doesnt like for people to nose in her business, if its not on her timeline theres nothin to know! so what if she was out till 11pm it wasnt a party or anyfin, she was just hangin out. no dont go lookin at her socials! its not important

rick...rick is the omissions expert...what did he do last night? terrible question, even he doesnt remember. best to ask what DIDNT happen before he wanders off again

🖕- a headcanon about their anger

ive been sitting and chewing on this for the better of a few hours now....ive lost the original anger headcanon prompt BUT no turning back!

consider this a 2 for 1 event! because.....

horticulture! weve all seen the fanart of prime and rick with the greenhouse plants, yea? and this way, instead of having to say anything, they both have their own area in the greenhouse...time to themselves to let the emotions dissipate...

for rick its a remnant from a bygone era

for summer its a chance to be in her own little bubble, without prying eyes or too many questions.... somefin rick can understand

[pup-pee]

IM TYPING THIS IN HERE BC I AM SCARED OF TUMBLR DELEATEING A BUCNH OF TAGS AS BC I DN THE LIMIT KJSHA

BUT LIKE

bernards stuck in class so tims left along w/kon+bart hes just getting a bucnh of "save me" msgs the gc is mostly just opinting & laughing @ him bc "u knew this was going 2 happen U KNEW"

cissie, anita, & greta r trying 2 steal cassies phone bc she keeps giggling @ it((laugh @ ur friends pain)) cassie also continuously almost spilling is rlly silly, bc SHE COULD its not like shes legally binded but i think she finds enjoyment in keeping it away

eventually tho stephs jsut "alright bernard im gonna kidnap u its time 2 go save ur cringefail boy of a friend"

ALSO IM NOT SAYING KON & BART R STEAGHT up IGNORING TIM BUT LIKE yk, 3rd wheel moment when 2 ppl stand infront of u so u have 2 look over their shoulders

idk, steph would ask cass 2 steal a credit card so they can go shopping in the mall

bc YEAH 4 SOME REASON I WAS THINKING OF THE FAIR???? i have no idea my brain was thinking of some issues bleh belhebleh ANWYASY

EVENTALYL((1nce tim is saved)) cassie tells them whats hapepneing & the girlies r just like "wait free food if we go 2 the mall?" so now theres just a bunch of teens who r somehow adults in the mall & ngl Y R CITY MALLS SO BIG THEY R SO BIG LIKE Y IS IT WEDDING CAKE BIG???

then kon & bart would join just bc & look its a even # points points omg its an even #!

idk where my thoughts r going

this is a pretty tame idea im just kinda vomiting words that come 2 my brain like ah yes, i do think they would try 2 do a food challenge & FAIL

i do think they bought overpriced pieces of plastic((legos))

i do think they tried playing hide n go seek then realized they lost eachother so they instead spent the better amount of an hr just trying 2 find eachother

yes i do think they went 2 build a bear & all got a stuffie & put the stupidest msgs in them & named eachothers((they did 1 4 the others i dn how 2 fit that in this sentence)) BUT YES

OK IDK ASKLJHFJKHFK

anywho

cissie & tim wouldve won the hide n seek game just saying

see the only times ive like actually been in IN the mall like gone & just hung around was 4 scout events? so like, sleeping over @ the mall & whatnot

so

my like vision of whatever this is is a lil affecteed byt thatttt

ok i mena,,,,,wayne money,,,,,just rent out the entire mall /j /J PLS

listen, @ least their visit 2 the mall was better than the titans visit

the titans r banned((from this specific mall))

anwyays, many kisses were shared, they learned who can & rlly cant sing, & found out that the photo booth can in fact hold 8 ppl

sometimes!! You just gotta draw Conner Kent so that's what I did!!

(Outfit inspo down below because I found the skirt on Pinterest so like yeehaw-)

[tinandabin]

Reader in their teenage years

( where I found the picture above )

-------------------------------------------------

This. THIS. I can't even tell you how reckless plus stupid they would be on purpose and the fact Douma would and has joined them in their acts. You can see Akaza trying to stop them while Kokushibo sometimes joins them or just watches and Muzan is looking distressed. 

Daki would absolutely​ join them in their acts and so will Gyutaro!

And you know what you all would do? Sell Gyokko's pot to unsuspecting people and as soon as they take the pot home, Gyokko appears and scares the shit outta them. Tho, you would have to intervene and stop them from eating the poor human. Kinda would have to threaten them to not tell anyone because if they did they die. 

Also, I feel like you and Daki would like to terrorise Hantengu..

One of Hantengu's forms, Zohakuten, would probably help you to cause havoc and destruction. 

Urogi would probably watch from the sidelines and cheer you up. 

Aizetsu. Nope. Muzan does not. DOES NOT ALLOW THIS FORM NEAR YOU. Especially when you are sad. Can't. N o. 

Karaku is the best. According to you, that is. Because he is just so relaxed and the best person to play card games with. Muzan would 100℅ lose his temper if you keep on winning and would accuse you of cheating and stuff, Akaza would take a loss very bitterly. Douma would just fake laugh and continue tho, he is bound to get annoyed. Kokushibo would straight up destroy the cards the moment he loses. Daki would throw a tantrum and Gyutaro would just,,, stare very creepily at the cards and next scene you see they are burning. Gyokko is the worst to play cards with. Don't ever. Never. If you win he is going in his pot and never talking to you or at least for a few weeks. He would have killed you but sadly, you are more powerful than him plus Muzan would kill him. 

And wanna know what would happen at some of the upper moons meetings? Art competitions. 

Gyokko vs Reader who has been taught by Muzan plus Gyokko and Daki. It would be a very tough competition. Not saying who will win. 

In winters when it would snow, you would have Ice sculpture competitions. Douma vs Muzan vs Reader vs Akaza because Akaza hates Douma and would do anything to make him lose. 

You and Daki would most likely go shopping and buy expensive stuff. RIP, Muzan's money. Daki would most likely use her Obi and throw you high up in the air and catch you again. Make-up skills. 

Gyutaro and you would try to make the most creepiest story or insults to use in the future. You might as well write a book containing all this. Would sell very well. Half the stock of the book for curses would be bought by Sanemi. No questions asked. 

Hantengu and his forms + Daki. You all would play hide and seek. In the infinity castle. You can hear the terrified screams of Hantengu's primary form whenever he is found and Nakime's favouritism. She always changes your position when you are near to being found out. 

And then Akaza. He should already be considered your own personal self-defence teacher. You both would most likely just enjoy each other's company in silence. Or star-gazing. Also your bodyguard from Douma.

Kokushibo and you would have cuddling sessions. Tho, you being a menace it would turn into a game of tag and soon enough all the upper moons + Muzan, Nakime would have to try and catch you and find you. 

Kaigaku and you would also enjoy games. Pranking. Partners-in-crime. You have tried so many pranks, I can't even. Especially on Muzan. Knowing Kaigaku would get himself killed if he pranks Muzan you are there to save the day! 

Muzan is 100℅ tired of your pranks and is ready to go and track down the person who even started these pranks. 

Nakime would teach you to play other instruments. You can't convince me she doesn't know how to play other instruments. But doing this with her 24/7 does get boring so you both take naps together <333.

Tamayo would teach you how to sew and you both would make each other pretty clothing and stuff!! <33

Don't know if Yushiro can cook or not, but he can in this AU and he very well teaches you the best recipes which are nourishing for demons without the need for humans in it. 

That's all I have thought. Don't leave I have some incorrect quotes. 

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Douma: Looking right because you left

Muzan: Looking up cause you let me down

Kokushibo: Looking down cause you fucked up

Akaza: What is wrong with you guys

-------------------------------------------------

Name): Favorite horror movie?

Douma: It

Muzan: Saw

Kokushibo: Annabelle

Akaza: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

-------------------------------------------------

Douma: Are we really going to let Muzan-sama keep (Name)?

Kokushibo: We kept Akaza.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Douma: ... Your what?

(Name): My friends.

Muzan: Are they saying “friends”?

Kokushibo: I think they're being sarcastic.

Akaza: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, (Name)! All of your friends are in this room.

(Name): I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): What does 'take out' mean?

Kokushibo: Food.

Douma: Dating

Muzan: Murder

Akaza: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Douma: Several traffic violations.

Muzan: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Kokushibo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Akaza: Also, that’s not our car.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Kokushibo: Have everyone stand.

Muzan:  Kill three.

Douma: The most important ones can sit down.

Akaza: Bring three more chairs!

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Bye Akaza! Bye Muzan! Bye Kokushibo! Bye Douma! Bye Akaza!

Muzan: You said ‘bye Akaza’ twice.

(Name): I like Akaza.

-------------------------------------------------

Akaza: Good morning.

Douma: Good morning.

Kokushibo: Good morning.  

Muzan: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

(Name): MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Douma: Put spaghetti in it.

(Name): I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Akaza: Put spaghetti in it.

(Name): I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Kokushibo: Put spaghetti in it.

(Name): I'm no longer taking suggestions.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Dammit, Douma!

Douma: What?! It wasn’t me!

(Name): Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Akaza!

Akaza: Not me either.

(Name): Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Kokushibo: *whistles*

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): I think Kokushibo was right.

Douma: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Akaza: He wouldn't do that.

Kokushibo: You're right, Akaza. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Kokushibo: *turns around, the shirt he's wearing says 'Kokushibo Told You So' on the back*

-------------------------------------------------

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

(Name): Shit.

Douma: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Akaza: OH MY GOD KOKUSHIBO FELL OFF!!!

-------------------------------------------------

Muzan: Listen, I can explain...

Akaza: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Kokushibo: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Douma: You guys are getting paid?

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): *Screams*

Douma: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Akaza: Should we do something?!

Kokushibo, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name), setting down a card: Ace of spades

Douma, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Akaza, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Kokushibo, trembling: What are we playing.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Douma: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Akaza: I personally was created in a lab.

Kokushibo: I just straight up spawned lol.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): *Gently taps table*

Douma: *Taps back*

Akaza: What are they doing?

Kokushibo: Morse code.

(Name): *Aggressively taps table*

Douma: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

-------------------------------------------------

*(Name) is cooking*

Douma: Any chance that’s for me?

(Name): It’s for Muzan. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Akaza: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

-------------------------------------------------

Akaza: Why are (Name) and Douma sitting with their backs to each other?

Kokushibo: They had a fight.

Akaza: Then why are they holding hands?

Kokushibo: They get sad when they fight.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Douma: You’re a hazard to society.

Akaza: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Douma: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

(Name): Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Akaza: edible.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name), negotiating with Douma: We have Gyokko. Give us ten thousand dollars and he will be returned to you unharmed.

Gyokko: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?

(Name):

Gyokko: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

(Name): GYOKKO STOP.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Gyutaro: How am I supposed to know?

Akaza: You say as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Gyutaro: *sighs*

Gyutaro: You wouldn't be trapped.

-------------------------------------------------

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Muzan*

Muzan: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

-------------------------------------------------

Muzan: What doesn't kill me should run because now I'm fucking pissed.

-------------------------------------------------

Muzan: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

-------------------------------------------------

Muzan: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): You wanna see how hardcore I am?

(Name): *punches wall*

(Name):

(Name): Take me to the hospital.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

-------------------------------------------------

(Name): Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

-------------------------------------------------

Muzan, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVER'S CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

-------------------------------------------------

Daki: *watching her house burn down*

Daki:

Daki: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

-------------------------------------------------

Daki: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-------------------------------------------------

Cop: You ran a red light.

(Name): So did you, hypocrite.

Cop: I was following you.

(Name): That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.

Cop: Get out.

-------------------------------------------------

Gyutaro: I’m a bad person, I’m a very bad person, I’m a horrible person.

The Uppermoons:

Gyutaro: No you’re not, Gyutaro! We still love you, Gyutaro!

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Shinobu: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest shelf in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.

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Uzui: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

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Muzan: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

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(Name), as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...

(Name), mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

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​​​​​​​

( where I found the picture above )

Requests are open! To know what you can request, please click here!

MASTERLIST

[neqeyam]

Dilucxreader and kaeyaxreader hc’s

Let me start off by saying: THIS IS NOT KAELUC,,, I DON’T SHIP THEM AND IF YOU DO STAY FAR AWAY FROM ME. 

with that out of the way, let’s get into some hc i have about everyones favorite siblings!

some of these may be a little NSFW, but for the most part they should be SFW.

Diluc is gentle with it where as Kaeya can go rough or be gentle. 

Diluc is a dom, and a very good one at that. 

Neither of them are straight, Diluc gives me closeted Bi vibes, Kaeya is definitely Pan & Proud(TM) (Kaeya’s reasoning is “if you catch my eye, you catch my eye”)

Diluc also gives me confused about his gender vibes, so I’m thinking that once when he was little he tried on a dress and loved it so much he wore it for like three days straight, his father was a little concerned but figured it wouldn’t hurt to let the boy have his freedom while he could. Kaeya got in on it and the maids ended up requesting tailored dresses for them. 

Kaeya often wears dresses, he loves them. 

This is also one of the reason they keep their hair long, that and for their s/o’s to braid n such. 

speaking of braids, Diluc is a MASTER braider, but kaeya can’t so much as do a fishtail, my guy couldn’t sit still long enough for that. 

Diluc’s idea of a date is taking a stroll (or carriage ride) through the hills and cliffs of mondstadt at night. 

Kaeya’s is kinda similar but he’ll take you via horse back, but he has a specific destination in mind. (probably dawn winery to steal wine from diluc) 

Diluc may hate the wine industry but my man learned all the secrets to the trade and make a KILLER cocktail (idk anything ab alcohol pls) 

Kaeya loves giving his s/o and friends piggyback rides, idk but I feel like that’s his form of PDA lol

Diluc HATEEESSSS PDA, at most he’ll hold your hand but anything else is a no go

diluc adopts diona. no i do not take criticism, he saw how Draff treats her and stole his child right out from under his nose. with the promise to Diona that he’d cut off her father from a supply of wine the best he could. He also beats the absolute FUCK out of those creeps at the Cat’s Tail that hit on her. 

same with Barbara, -you know what, fuck it, diluc adopts all the teens/kids of mondstadt- they all eat well, sleep comfortably, and are well dressed bc of Diluc. (razor doesn’t know he’s been adopted tho, diluc sorta let’s him roam. he has youngest sibling privileges) 

klee doesn’t rly spend much time w him but that’s okay bc diluc knows she has Albedo and diluc, for the most part, trust albedo not to fuck up a perfectly good kid. 

kaeya has to beat up that mf that stalks barbara daily, he takes great joy in it. 

no matter who kaeya is dating, he is always also dating Albedo, those two come as a pair (sorta- more like kaeya drags albedo into things with the promise of knowledge and experiments)

bennett has no shame in calling diluc dad and as many times as diluc has told him “i am not your dad” bennett never stops, and diluc never goes further then simply reminding him that he is not his dad. 

diluc listens to all of fischl’s stories without the need for Oz’s translations, fischl loves him and stops by Angels Share every time she comes back from her home world with more stories. 

diona and klee have a table at Angel’s Share that is reserved for them at all times, especially during school so they can do schoolwork where Diluc can keep an eye on them. 

Kaeya taught bennett how to wield a sword. end of discussion, he did i was there i saw it. 

diluc has taken to teaching razor how to use a claymore since Varka (is that his name?) is ‘away’ (probably dead lol) 

kaeya leaves little trinkets in the woods near wolvendom for razor, razor doesn’t actually know who kaeya is but he thinks he’s neat nonetheless. 

diluc and jean dated during their time as cadets, then realized they were better off as friends. then jean came out as lesbian and started dating Lisa. Kaeya will not let him live it down. 

KNIGHT IN TRAINING BESTIES!!!!! 

jean obviously had the most potential of the three of them, she was a quick learner and set herself to impossible standards. there were some younger (mostly male) knights who HATED that she was the Gold Star cadet, and often times tried to make fun of her. cue buff late teen Ragnvindr siblings who aren’t afraid to get mean. 

once diluc gets his claymore it’s all over for the people of mondstadt. my guy comes back JACKED and HOT and Donna is the only one brave enough to call it like it is. (fuck donna tho shes SO annoying lmaooo #donnakinnie) 

kaeya’s favorite pass time is poking fun at diluc. 

diluc still knows how to wield a sword, mainly bc kaeya forces him to spar with him once in awhile, it’s mainly for kaeya’s benefit but at least diluc stays sharp with two weapons. 

kaeya tried to teach diluc how to be flirty when they were teens but it,,, didn’t work LMAO 

kaeya is a fucking MASTER of hide and seek and tag. my guy is so competative for NO REASON. he refuses to lose those two games. once a lot of the people of mondstadt got together to play a game of freeze tag,, it took kaeya a little under 2 hours to tag everyone and win the game. 

kaeya tries to teach klee how to stay in jeans good graces so she doesn’t have to be in that mf room all the time. kaeya also breaks her out of that room often and just lets her go ham on some trees outside the city walls. 

recently, whenever klee feels the need to blow something up, she asks kaeya to walk with her to a special spot in dragonspine albedo showed her and kaeya acts as a chaperone and mediator for her ‘bomb tests’ 

wow theres alot more here than i though LOL,,, this is it for now ig

[rottingflovver]

Random relationship (and just general stuff) headcanons for the ADA squad!!

Atsushi Nakajima 🐯

Soft boi

Smells like strawberries and vanilla

Don't question me on this, he just does

Also probably adores eating strawberries and vanilla, alongside ice cream and anything sweet really, but like, in moderation (it's gotta be a soft food tho)

He also likes fruits and veggies

A healthy boi

His ideal date would be sightseeing, just walking around town with his s/o and admiring the scenery

Would try to be really cheesy and say something like "you're prettier than any location we've been to" but he'd get too embarrassed halfway through so it would just come out as a stammering mess

He's adorable tho, you love him

When sleeping, if you sleep in one bed, he'd legit be like a big cat (no pun intended)

He'd be so warm, and his arms would be wrapped around you in a soft embrace

Prone to having nightmares so please comfort him

Ozamu Dazai 💀

The literal opposite of a soft boi

What I mean by this is that he's a straight up f-boy

Don't @ me, it's official; he's left every woman he's ever been with crying

But don't worry, once he gets attached to you, he'd be all giddy and happy whenever you even exist around him

My dude adores coffee (+ alcohol!)

Doesn't really eat much (please force him to eat more) but he's a sucker for sweets (I feel like he'd be really picky tho, like "no this brand of chocolate is absolute garbage I only eat the finest *insert niche brand literally no one has EVER heard of*"

We love him for it

He'd also really be into salty snacks, anything that has a crunch to it really

Did I mention that he smells like washed out Cologne mixed with his natural scent (+ the most recent way he tried to commit not-living)

His ideal date would be a coffee-date

He knows it's not much but that's where he feels the most relaxed and happy, so he wants you to experience that with him as well

Unlike Atsushi, this boy can FLIRT

Expect a cheesy remark every few seconds

It comes to the point where it's actually kinda annoying

Once you start firing it back at him (it's gotta be something sincere tho) he'd be flustered and kinda flabbergasted

Is also prone to nightmares, but don't expect to see this side of him unless he REALLY really trusts you

Kunikida Doppo 📚

Stoic boi

Idk how to explain this but I feel like the 🗿 emoji really represents him

Also he smells the most normal out of everyone ㅡ literally just some kinda nice perfume and neutral, washed out shampoo (by neutral I mean that you can't really identify what it is, but it's nice)

I feel like he'd be warm

Like not to Atsushi's level, but he'd be a good heat provider if it ever gets windy or rainy

Not to mention how comforting his hugs are, although, extremely awkward (he's so inexperienced with them Lord help him)

Also a sucker for coffee but that's because it's the only thing keeping him sane (and awake, Kunikida go to bed challenge)

He's a really good cook

Like it surprises you how many dishes he actually knows how to make, given how much time his work occupies

He's also more like your dad (or even mom tbh) than your boyfriend, because he's always nagging cuz of some idealistic criteria you failed to meet (ie. "cLeAn YoUr RoOm")

That's why his preference for dates are dates that don't even feel like them

It's literally just everyday activities

Going shopping together? Sure, he's down, gotta get it done anyway and it's nice to have company. You want him to teach you how to make a certain dish? Geez, finally, it's about time you start doing that yourself. You wanna join on a mission? That's a bit too dangerous, but you can meet him afterwards

Like do you get what I'm saying

It's so obvious you two have a thing for each other but he's just so damn dense and yet somehow gets super flustered at the same time

Compliment him on something he's insecure about and he'll be a mess for like 10 whole minutes (by this I mean he genuinely won't be able to utter a word)

Akiko Yosano 🦋

She listens to girl in red

Okay maybe not, but she definitely stans Dreamcatcher

I'll stop you get the point

Her favorite LOONA solo is Heart Attack

(That was the last one I swear)

But fr tho, she looks and acts scary but she's a whole sweetheart

Kind of cold but it's okay you can warm her up (melts if you do that)

Really scared of letting people get too close to her, but if you keep insisting and being nice to her she'll have to accept your love

ALSO fond of coffee (seriously what's with these people) and a mediocre cook (she's trying ok)

Will always be down to try and make something with you, whatever the dish may be

Smells like oranges and roses (not mixed, obvi on different days it's a different vibe)

Also sometimes has a lingering aftertaste of blood due to her job at the ADA and you're kinda just like 😶 about it because?? Do you tell her?? Does she know?? What do you do???

Pain.png

Hint: you should definitely tell her tho

SHE FINALLY HAS A CONSISTENT SHOPPING BUDDY

Although she doesn't force you to carry everything around like she forces everyone else to, because you're special ✨

That would also be your assumption on what her favorite date is, but she can actually be pretty romantic!

Don't expect anything grandeur tho, it's just a fancy dinner date at a restaurant

Poor bb has been planning and saving up for this for months now so please appreciate it

She sleeps like a rock

She's just straight, like a soldier

Oh the irony

But I feel like if you were to hug her she'd instantly melt into your embrace

Is ALSO prone to nightmares (seriously what's with these people) but she doesn't wanna bother you with them

Edogawa Ranpo 👓

Praise him

Please

He has a praise kink

So please praise him

He's surprisingly soft

Maybe it's all the sweets he eats, but he's both soft to hug and soft personality wise

Oh yeah did I mention he emits an aura of candy

Like he walks into the room and you don't even have to look to know that it's him, cuz it'll just smell like sweets all of a sudden

Speaking of, he really adores them

To the point where you'll have to force him to eat something healthy from time to time as well, I mean, seriously, that much sugar CANNOT be good for you

If you give him some homemade baked goods (ei. cupcakes, brownies, cake, ect.) listen he will LITERALLY lose it

You're his angel now

No not even that, you're a GODDESS/GOD to him

(Yes he's that dramatic)

He likes taking you to see detective movies with him where he figures out the killer in the first 3 minutes

Also he gets lost so gosh darn easily; never ever let him out of your sight or he'll just be gone forever

Other than that, he lets you organize and plan the dates, cuz he thinks you could do a way better job at being romantic than he ever could

He's really okay with anything you wanna do ㅡ he's just happy to be with you

(Just don't take him to someplace where he can't eat candy)

Force him to eat spicy food and he's breaking up with you nckdndjc

When sleeping together, he's sprawled out across the mattress

In many ways he's just a big teddy bear, you can climb on top of him and sleep there and he'll just be chill with it

These next few ⬇ are only friendship hcs bc a sis doesn't wanna go to jail

Kenji Miyazawa 🐄

Baby boy, baby

Listen I can't explain it but he smells like grass and that fresh air country smell

Like you just know he does

LOVES getting head-pats

Loves giving them too!!

He's so confused when it comes to city stuff, so he'd much rather chill with you somewhere on a grass field

Expect to play a lot of tag and hide n seek with him!! It'll be extra fun if he drags Kyouka and Atsushi with him as well

Sometimes he'll randomly drop a country fact that seems so obscure to you (think; that one time he mentioned they just throw criminals off a cliff) and you'll just stare at him like; 👁 👄 👁

He loves to eat

Literally anything

"I love cows but I love eating them too"

He mentioned before that he shouldn't eat a lot cuz he has no power when full but you can't just??let him starve??

Give him an apple and water and he'll be fine

Introduce him to arcades and he'll get hooked in a matter of seconds

Kyouka Izumi 🌺

baby girl, baby

Loves to go sightseeing like Atsushi

Kind of stoic in the beginning but as she slowly warms up to you she'll be smiling all the time

Brings out Demon Snow to protect you if a leaf falls a little too threateningly

Cdndjdj no but fr ㅡ she never really had friends that accepted her and wanted to spend time with her so she really doesn't want anything to happen to you

You have to remind her that she's just a kid; she should be allowed to relax and enjoy the moment for a bit

Smells like flowers and death

The death part of it fades away with time

Spends a lot of time with Atsushi!! Meaning you will spend a lot of time with Atsushi as well

If you don't like him I'm sorry but you two just can't be friends

She has no idea what counts as friend activities and what doesn't so expect her to either: a) not propose anything, or b) propose totally obscure stuff

But if something cute catches her attention she'll make an attempt to guide you to it

Like if she thinks you two should eat ice cream she'll stare at a nearby ice cream shop intensely

Sadly missing Junichiro and Fukuzawa cuz I just don't know enough about them 😔 we sad

[gamerwoo]

Pentagon headcanon: Pentagon as Daycare Workers

a/n: i really dont have the time for a whole au for this so uh here’s a headcanon because i just needed to like write it down somewhere. maybe one day i’ll make a mini series for each of them or smth

-

Lee Hoetaek

he’s supposed to be in charge

he’s hardly in charge

because everyone else doesn’t listen to him, neither do the kids

stressed 24/7

the kids do absolutely love him and think he’s fun but if he’s like “okay it’s nap time” they’re like “no!!” and run away to play

tbh he mostly sticks to the baby room because babies can’t tell him no

but he does go back and fort between the baby room and the main room

parents at least like him and think he’s responsible

nobody would actually make him look bad in front of parents ok

Jo Jinho

actually the one in charge

but he’s only really good at being in charge because of Hui

always gives Hui all the credit because Jinho is a good friend ok

absolutely done with anyone who makes a joke like “wow you’re as short as the kids!!!” tho

but the kids definitely have accepted him as one of their own

likes to sing to the kids and the kids like hearing him sing

parents think he’s a sweet boy but the other guys say (well not out loud) otherwise

they listen to him because they know he’ll kick their shit in after work if they don’t

Yang Hongseok

since their daycare is on the smaller side, he’s the only preschool teacher

always torn between being serious and teaching them things or just fucking off and doing crafts all day

Shinwon often advocates for the latter

absolutely adores all of his kids ok he would d i e for them

and kids love him so much

has had so many students saying they wanna grow up to marry him

also has parents trying to get with him so

but Hongseok is r e s p e c t f u l and always turns down parents because he doesn’t want to make things awkward

but will he still flirt? yes

Ko Shinwon

Hongeok’s assistant in classes

while Hongseok is pretty 50/50 with serious and silly, Shinwon is 100% silly with the kids

but man, do they love the heck out of it

loves to sit at the tiny little tables and help with crafts and stuff

usually the kids do the crafts on him and he ends up covered in glitter and yarn and macaroni

he’s basically the goofy guy that the kids crowd to to make them giggle and stuff

he’s one of the kids just taller

also, like the kids, he’s not allowed in the baby room but Jinho and Hui refuse to tell him why

Yeo Changgu

mostly works in the baby room but bounces between rooms

almost always has a kid on his hip. and two on his legs. they just cling to him idk

loves loves loves his job so much and it shows

never scolds any of the kids but he also won’t let them get away with whatever they want

keeps literally every single thing any of the kids give him no matter what

one of them could pick up a rock from the ground outside and give it to him and he’ll put it on his nightstand at home

(Kim) Yanan

doesn’t really know what he’s doing anymore

originally, he was helping out at the daycare his friend, Junhui works at

but then his boss Seungcheol said that help was needed at this daycare

and he just,,,,,,,,,didn’t leave???

it’s fine, he likes kids

works in the baby room mostly though

he likes that things are on a schedule and it’s not just complete chaos all the time

thinks its cute that the kids think how tall he is is fascinating but wishes they would stop trying to climb him

also really wants single moms to stop trying to ask him out

Adachi Yuto

too afraid to work in the baby room because he doesn’t want to drop one of them

shy around both adults and kids, but the kids don’t dislike him so it’s fine

some of them tend to not listen to him since he’s so quiet though

he usually sticks by Kino because he’s really good with getting the kids to behave

might be the only person who actually treats Hui like the boss he’s supposed to be

literally smiles and giggles at everything the kids do

he just thinks they’re cute

and since he’s shy around adults too, that means he’s a flustered mess whenever any single parent so much as smiles at him a certain way

Kang Hyunggu

another person who bounces between the baby room and the main room

he also sometimes goes to help out in Hongseok’s classroom

dude’s a sucker for crafts

loves to help out with recess as well because he likes playing tag and hide n seek on the playground with the kids

Changgu and him are probably the favorites among the kids

he’s a natural when it comes to taking care of them

parents adore him too

Jung Wooseok 

the newest hire at the daycare and he’s still kind of awkward

Hui is the one who interviews everyone and decides if they get hired and tbh, nobody’s really sure why Wooseok was hired????

he just kinda lets the kids do whatever they want

and that includes climbing all over him, hitting each other with toys, hitting him with toys, etc

so he was moved to the baby room until he got the hang of things

still a little weird with babies though

like he doesn’t really know how to interact with them

just getting him to hold one properly was an event in itself

but Hui insists he’ll get better and that his heart is in the right place

[cnc-hoebayb]

Springtime antics with the boys

Weather is getting nice and lovey here so I’m rly in the mood for dis

.

Zabdiel

-Long walks around the park for hours

-Would also be the gross romantic that likes to paint in the park

-He’d pick you up and you notice the canvases and paint in the back along with a picnic basket

-He sets you guys up on the side of the big green grass field right under a shady tree

-Feeds you grapes and snacks like a little lovesick loser and just plays around

-He’d hide his painting from you the whole time and keep pretending like it’s his “own personal masterpiece”

-Paints a stripe down your arm when you give him attitude that yours is already better and you don’t even gotta see his

-Something would happen like the sprinklers turn on in the middle of it all and you have to gather everything and run away

-But you’re already both drenched so you sit nearby in the park and dry off

-Something off topic but

-He’d sit with you in the backyard/porch/wherever you like to lounge in the sun

-Make you some smoothies or iced tea and help you paint your toes and sunbathe

-Read books together and chill outside

-Back massages in the grass

-On rly energetic days maybe he’d take you to the carnival

-Ride every single ride at least twice, share a funnel cake and just hold each other in silence on the Ferris wheel

-Would def win you the giant stuffed dog at the ring toss station

-Ends the night making out in the backseat of his car like a freaking teenager

Erick

-Also another park scenario lol

-He’d take you to the park- but not to walk around, y’all are like actually playing n shit

-Pushes you on the swings, rides down the slide with you

-Teens and older adults are kinda judging you, but a lot of people are actually watching and laughing/admiring how cute you’re being

-A couple kids come over and ask to play with you

-You honestly are expecting him to be like “naw kids go away” but instead he’s like “okay but you’re it first” and zooms away

-So you play tag with a hugee group of small children and they’re all in love with the fun grown ups

-And like once it gets late and the kids need to go home, a couple parents come up and slip y’all 5 bucks for watchin their kids and a little wink or sweet pieces of early love advice aw

-Play wrestling in the field

-Biting his ear while he tugs your hair and shoves grass down your shirt

-Movie night back at his house in his room or maybe the basement

-Cuddled up with a bunch of snacks and buried under blankets

-You end up falling asleep in his arms and he gently rearranges you so that you’re both comfy

-Kisses your forehead and plays with your fingers or ends of your hair til he falls asleep

Joel

-Takes you to brunch

-Orders bottomless mimosas and y’all get lit at like 11 am

-Stumble out and walk it off in the fresh air

-Buys you a mangonada and himself elote as you guys come across the soccer field across the street

-He would also take you somewhere fun and simple like the museum or aquarium

-Takes annoying goofy pictures of him like imitating a funny fish face or squeezing a statues nipples/butt cheeks

-Argues with little kids in a cute stubborn way

-“hey u take that back about the puffer fish u brat”

-“Joel that kid is literally 10 and all they said is that the fish was a lil ugly”

-Takes candids of you when you’re not paying attention

-Some are really cute actually, but the other half are of you mid sneeze or cryin about the shark with the funny eyes

-GOLDEN HOUR SELFIES

-Rly high quality pics of sun kissed skin and smooches uwuwu

-Would blow dandelions in your face for a cute picture but then gets carried away and starts pinning little flowers in your hair

-Forgets about picture taking and just continues to cover you in pretty flowers for his eyes only

-Play out movie scenes and improv a musical/concert on park tables

Richard

-Sleeps in super late with you in his arms

-Until it gets way too hot and you have to pry yourself out of his grips

-Would definitely stay like half naked through the day

-So the agenda for what y’all do would be along the lines of park, pool, something outside and acceptable for him to be kinda nakey

-Which it’s kinda hard to take such a beautiful naked man out in public so y’all stay home with Aaliyah instead

-Make a homemade water park in the backyard

-Slip n slide, one of those tiny baby pools, sprinklers, water balloons, water guns, you name it

-He would totally bust ass trying to dump you in the baby pool and slips on the slick grass and falls into all of the prepared water balloons

-You and Aaliyah almost pee yourselves laughing bc the sight of such a big goofy man contemplating his life in a wet pile of broken rubber

-He’d also do something dumb to make you smile like break dance sloppily on the slip n slide

-Picnic outside in the backyard or the park nearby after all the playtime tones down

-The sun sets slowly as you finish eating and Aaliyah begs you to push her on the swings for the rest of the time aww

-ok but on a more intimate personal level....

-Take you to an outdoor party or family kinda get together

-Dances bachata with you and spins you around in the moonlight

-...but will also turn you around and literally grind into you til ur begging 4 him to take u home ... what sry

-Also the type to just get slightly drunk together alone at the crib

-Get lit to his favorite playlist and just be goofy n dance or sing to each other

Christopher

-ive said it once and I’ll say it again

-He on that hooligan type shit

-He’d take you on late night car rides with the top dropped, letting the warm spring air rush over you

-End up in the abandoned old skate park and you graffiti the nasty grey concrete

-Tells you scary stories as you sit on top of his car high asf

-Hide and seek at the park in the dark with all your friends

-ok but get this

-y’all hop the fence of ur old school or maybe someone u hates neighborhood to like go egg it or tp that bitch

-get caught and have to run from the cops or somethin

-so when y’all get home safe your energy and adrenaline is MAD HIGH

-and y’all have the best freaking sex like it’s so high energy and wiLd sorry I’m an adrenaline junkie

-Late night junk food runs and then you’re back in the car watching the stars in the sunroof

-King of gr8 conversations tbh

-Like every convo you have late at night while you’re out chillin is sooooo amazing

-It ranges from like conspiracies, stupid observations he makes when he’s stoned, real deep talks abt life n love, or even talking about ur favorite music

-I bet springtime brings out the romance in him even more tho

-So he sets up fun spicy little dates out in the hot tub

-Or opens all the windows to let the warm air rush in, the moonlight and pretty scented candles being the only light dimming your room as he leaves sweet kisses over your neck

[johnnysseocute]

Babysitting with NCT

127 edition

Taeil

loves kids and kids love him !!

accidentally makes you do all the work

youre trying your hardest to get them to calm down bc theyre running around and shit

all taeil does is turn on princess and the frog and tell them sit down

and they ofc they all come sit down and cuddle up to him

smiles down at them when they fall asleep in his lap and he just strokes their hair

he likes to put them on his back as he does small chores

he doesnt do much but they always beg him not to leave

johnny

the most organized

he has the kids on a schedule

the most playful !!

he may be 6ft but catch him running around with a bunch of little kids playing tag or hide and seek

when they get hungry he tries to make them food with you but its messy bc he ends up flirting with you the whole time

so he gives up and just throws them some fruit snacks

he kisses you in front of the kids just so theyll say 'ew'

lets them eat ice cream when theyve been "good" but johnny always ends up letting them get ice cream

taeyong

STRESSED !!

just wants the kids to be happy but also kinda wants them to stfu be quieter

he kinda lets the do whatever bc he cabt say no to them

he has the best snacks tho

takes care of you like one of the kids so u dont have to do much

when its nap time he gives everyone a kiss on the forehead including you

likes to bring arts and crafts for the kids to do !!

has a different one everyday and theyre all good

doyoung

omg the perfect babysitter

YOU KNOW HOW ALL OF NCT CALLS HIM THE MOM BC HE TAKES CARE OF THEM YEAH THATS WHY HES GREAT

hes very stern but also very sweet

has a soft spot for the children

hypes all their drawings up,,,, esp if they draw him he could CRY even if they make him look ugly

makes then watch educational tv shows

will not hesitate to scold the kids AND you

scolds the kids for eating sweets past their bed times and scolds you for giving it to them

yuta

mr nakamoto does not play !

he keeps his kids in check

educates them on all types of shit like the flaws of capitalism

his kids are woke !!

makes them watch mulan bc its the feminist movie

hes super affectionate with them tho

always asks for kisses on the cheek and freaks out over how cute they are when they do it

also likes to give them little mini lessons in japenese and he smiles so wide the whole time and highfives them when they get it right

winwin

is pretty much one of the kids

you end up doing most of the work but he feels really bad after

at least they click really well bc hes like one with the kids

they both make a huge ass mess trying to make you heart shaped cookies

and like you wanna be mad but,,,, god they look so cute covered in flour and smiling and they did really try hard on those cookies

so you give them all kisses on the forehead and make them go clean up

likes to talk through their stuffed animals

has the best silly animal voices that makes the kids laugh

jaehyun

surprisingly pulls through and is a natrual dad

hes very calm yet still gets the kids listen to him

they all run to him so they can kiss their 'boo boos'

loves playing dress up

and will never miss a tea party

he runs around as the tickle monster to make them laugh

sometimes theyll run up to him randomly and kiss his dimple and he gets sooo smiley and happy !!

mark

so confused poor thing

he calls you for help

but as soon as he gets the hang of it he loves them and would die for them

theyre all his 'lil buddies'

pretty much lets pick out whatever they want to eat or watch and they love it

doesnt know what kids would even like so he buys stickers but is nervous if they would even like them

mark thinks he did awful but they love him so much and always ask for him back

haechan

at first he wasnt keen on babysitting

but as soon as one of them grabbed his finger it was over

he always taps you to look over whenever theyre doing something cute

always tells them good job even for the smallest things

tells the best bedtime stories

but sometimes he gets too into and it turns scary lmaodjbdjdj

but as soon as he notices theyre a lil spooked he stops and turns it all happy again

he makes sure to tuck them in nice and tight and that they all get their kisses

A/N its 4am tumblr deleted my old one so i had to rewrite this so much fun !! so tjis is unedited once again

[neokollection]

A - Z ㅡ Taeyong

NOT NSFW!!!

A/N: A twist on the traditional A-Z that’s NSFW and now a fluffy version. Yes, I made these up, sorry if they’re bad-

A - According To ...

According to Taeil, Taeyong is very sensitive and just wants to be loved.

B - Bored [ what he does when he’s bored ]

Scrolls through his phone or sleeps if possible- Basically, what we all do too.

C - Cuddling

Cuddle bug, he loves cuddles. He doesn’t mind if he’s the big or little spoon, or your limbs are all tangled together, facing one another. Anything with contact he’s fine with- He likes burying his face, can’t say why... He’s gorgeous, not sure why he’d hide. But he finds it most comfortable and a good way to block out the light, plus he’s enraptured in your scent, nuzzling into the crook of your neck or chest. He’ll snuggle anywhere, in bed, on the sofa, in the back of a taxi, etc... When he’s sleepy or has a bit of alcohol in his system he’s the most cuddly, murmuring shit no one can understand.

D - Day or Night? 

He prefers night. Usually in the darkness of his bed, illuminated by his phone.

E - Excited [ what he does when he’s excited ]

He wiggles! He’s a wiggler~ When he gets excited his hands clasp together, or onto the person he’s with and he smiles, even laughs. He’ll even go as far as to bounce around, clapping his hands. When he can’t hold it in he does a variety of weird motions, not really knowing what to do with his hands for once.

F - Fans

He loves his fans so much! He credits them with everything, without them he wouldn’t be where he is today and NCT wouldn’t.  Each and everyday he reads what fans say on either the fan board, twitter, youtube comments, instagram, etc... And I bet you each and everyday he smiles because of the things he reads. He told fans once if they see NCT on the street to run up to them and hug them without saying anything [pretty sure that’s what a lot of sasaeng fans try to do anyway in the airport, and you’d definitely get a bodyguard on your ass]- He just wants NCTzenies to love one another and NCT!

G - Gayness

Hmm, around 40% I would say. Jaeyong is still a strong ship. He’s a very subtle and chill gay, but still a confident one- Except for when it comes to Jungwoo and Win, then he gets flustered... bc... cute angels.

H - Heart

He’s got such a big heart and so many don’t know!!! He did wrongs in his past and has been branded for them ever since, even tho time and time again he’s apologized, cried, and addressed them with regret... With his lyrics too you can tell he wants to be loved, as Taeil said. He’s a leader, and has to be compassionate and sympathetic to be able to handle his group mates and have them all love him- He’s a huge softie, have you ever seen him around animals?

I - Imagine ...

Imagine baking chocolate chip cookies together.

J - Jealousy

He’s jealous. If it’s just between mates it’s fine, Johnny and Jae hanging out, chill. But it comes when he’s attached to certain people who he finds himself close with, but they give another attention... He needs attention, especially yours. He’ll find something else to do other than watch, pour himself a glass of water, look at his phone, turn around and act like he’s going to sleep. It’s a mini silent treatment until you address him. He’ll still ask later about it, what was Yuta saying that was so important? Be a bit obvious he’s jealous, he doesn’t mind if you know, he’d prefer you/them know than be oblivious.

K - Kisses

A great kisser!!! He gives all his friends little pecks on their cheeks and says his kisses are a reward to his members~ Any chance this giggling mess has pop a smooch on your cheek, nose, or forward he will- Even for the littlest of things, the way you cutely sneezed or whined at him for being too loud. When it comes to your lips, he has a thousand different kissed saved for each occasion; a sweet and chaste kiss for when your sleepy, a rushed and teeth-bared smooch for when he’s excited, long sensual make-outs when he’s upset or emotional, rough and passionate kisses when your pulling on his shirt, etc... His lips are so soft and travel all over the he can reach, your hand, sure, your hair, of course, your nose, certainly, the back of your neck and shoulder, naturally~

L - Lyric [ personal/my favorite lyric or verse ]

“I’ll show myself to you, so show yourself to me too. Hug me. What do I do with this attention-seeking illness I’ve caught because of you?” Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127

I mean he rapped earlier in it about being a hard ass bitch who’s going to play with your heartbeat, wanting you to kick and hit him... But look- He’s a real softy, just talking the talk to get your attention. These lyrics seem so soft to me- Like his real feelings for a S/O

M - Moody

He can be a moody bitch, no lie. Especially since he’s exhausted far too often and doesn’t have the energy to deal with everyone 24/7. When he gets in his moods he can become really quiet and keep to himself, his typical look of boredom on his face...

N - Neediness

Depends on who it’s with. In this kind of scenario obviously it’s dedicated to the reader, so I’d say only with you is he needy, for attention and all. He’s needy with his members too, since they know him inside and out, but he doesn’t want to put strain on people or seem annoying, so with staff and others he won’t act needy.

O - Open or Closed?

He’s a pretty closed person, he doesn’t make friends easily and it’s especially hard being a celebrity- Knowing who you can trust and get close with and who you can’t... But with his close friends he’s very open, they’re his only outlet since he doesn’t want to worry his family.

P - Picky?

When it comes to food he’s not so picky- I mean he has a list of stuff he doesn’t like, but he’s also very willing to try new things~ When it comes to people, he’s kinda picky who he’d chose as his friends. He has high standards and it takes a lot of work to become close to him, so you’d be the top 1%

Q - Question [ something I wonder about him... ]

 With a S/O, would his germaphobia lessen? Would he share a water bottle with me? Cuz I mean I have it also, but I’d share with him

R - Rec [ song rec directly from him ]

When I Fall in Love - Nat King Cole

S - Skinship

He’s fine with it, he does PDA too. He’s not shy of it and naturally is one into skin contact for the simplest of things. Rustling your hair if you did a good job, interlocking fingers, squeezing the flesh of your arms unconsciously as he spouts, poking your cheek, gently body bumping before chuckling as you push him out of your way, etc...

T - Talent

Off the charts, no questions asked. Amazing actor, singer, rapper, dancer, person, etc...

U - Unique [ a unique characteristic ]

He has so many facets. You all already know what I’m talking about. He’s cool and sexy on stage, but adorable and sometimes awkward off. His persona is so unique, how he’s able to switch so casually.  I think it makes him unique, I’ve never met someone who can so coolly be two-faced.

V - Vegetable [ how he is when lazy ]

I’m not 100% sure, but I can guess. If he’s feeling tired and has the chance, he’d probably sleep. Usually tho, he probably plays Animal Crossing or another game on his phone- Possibly even taking some time to lounge around and scroll through the NCT tag on Twitter. If he has to do something he’s obviously going to not want to, but he’s a big boy and as NCT’s leader he’s learned a lot about doing things even though he may not want to and matured a lot as well, so he’ll still silently do whatever it is he’s asked before plopping on the sofa once more.

W - Wink

X - X-Man [ if he had a superpower it would be... ]

He said he’d like the ability to teleport, to visit all the Czennies around the world no doubt- His parents too-

Y - Yellow [ his thoughts on the color ‘Yellow’ ]

If the color gold is considered yellow... He may like it. But in general I think he can agree it’s an ugly and awkward color- I mean when do you ever see him willingly wearing yellow??? Never

Z - Zodiac

Cancer~ Very sensitive. He matches well with Cancer, Taurus, Pisces, & Scorpio ^^ He doesn’t match well with Aries or Libra T T

[sapphicsua-archive]

when my bias became my bias

tags are gonna be in the comments! also there's no gifs bc i'm doing this in html mode (rip me), and it's either gifs or colors, and i wanted colors lmao

xu minghao || the8

i think i talked about this in my soft tag, but!! minghao was actually not my first svt bias, jeonghan was, but during dwc era, i started double biasing and then during clap era, he just stole my heart when he came up during the second part of the second chorus, with that flannel and the blonde hair and his cute ass little wiggle thing?? i just?? idk man

kim namjoon || rm

okay so!! i've also talked about this in one of my other tags, but i've actually known about bts since 2015 (bc of dope) and park jimin was actually my first bias...but, i started watching more and more of their vlives and mv's and stuff and?? joon just kinda took his place?? i think it was really during spring day era tho, that he really solidified himself as my bias, bc of the purple hair and the dimples and the way he was styled and?? idk

moon bin || moonbin

binnie's the one that i legitmately don't know why he's my bias, but he is!! the hide and seek mv was my first astro video, and i couldn't keep my eyes off him, so i was like !!! who is that!!! and i found out, and it went downhill from there dfklgklh then i watched the cat's eye mv, and i legitimately thought he had the prettiest eyes (like, the way they're shaped idk) and then he smiled and my heart just went bitch that's the one

kim jiwon || bobby

ngl, bobby originally was my bias just bc i loved his voice and he caught my eye in the bling bling mv with that half blonde, half black hair?? but after he released love and fall, and i actually started to learn more about him, i realized that he is actually such a beautiful person and?? idk

lee felix || felix

AHHHH last but not least, my aussie baby (of course) who i've loved since october of last year, right before the survival show started!! i don't remember if i saw a picture or a gif of him, but i just remember thinking fml here we go, that's the one and then deciding to stan skz, and when they released hellevator (the first time i ever heard his voice) i just decided that he was meant to be my bias and that was that