#kinda like people dont love trans people more than they hate terfs

[vlaakithstits]

in regards to your most recent post, you don’t have to be evil to do the templar quest, since you can choose to disband them at the end. you could play a character who plans to do that from the very beginning, like someone who hates the templars more than they actually care about mage freedom. could be an interesting character 🤷

That's... not a bad idea. I knew you could disband them but the concept of someone who just hates templars more than they care about mages is a cool one.

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[kledface]

Idk i guess i should consider an intro post or something?

Name:

Hi, im kledface, but you can call me kled. No, i have no association with league of legends and have been entirely turned off from playing it due to people asking if my name is because of the character. There is an origin story though!

Content:

I like sharing cute animals, pretty things, memes, and trans shit, cause i am a trans shit, people should be nicer/more normal about trans folks, especially those who are trans-fem and gender nonconforming. I also enjoy sharing art, both my own and others, because art is amazing. Sometimes i will post my weird little rambles here. Sometimes theyre serious, sometimes theyre just pissing in the wind. Life is full of wonder or some schist idk

Identity:

Im trans, genderfaun, my pronouns do change sometimes, but for the most part, he, they, and it are all fine for me. Go ahead and dabble in neos if you want, im not 100% sure what works and what doesnt there. Im also kinda coming to terms with being demi-aroace, or demian. This is a newer label for me, but i think its the right one. Im a pretty proud furry, and also an otherkin; hi, dragon speaking. My fursona is a dragon, but i have plenty of characters; some are even not dragons! I love dragons more than anything. I am mentally ill, with severe depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and a very troubled past that has caused splitting, and most likely either ADHD, autistic, or both, but nothing is confirmed yet besides being dyslexic. Currently am 19, though on the kalends of april i will be 20. This makes me nervous. I do not enjoy celebrating my birthday.

Likes and dislikes:

I love dragons, pineapple, rain and snow, fire, lightning, warhammers, birds, cats, the colours orange and blue, food, flowers, shiny rocks, dnd, mtg, drawing, reading, video games, a wide variety of music, the forest, and helping others, especially those im closer to. I hate conspiracy theories, aliens, bell pepper, chartreuse, intense heat, being short, bigots, and being treated like a demon. Some of these things are because of my past, others are just general hates

Personality:

Because of the splitting, sometimes its not just one person talking; there are eleven of us with different personalities. I, as the host, am the person you are most likely to catch though. I like to consider myself fun loving, though protective. Compassionate and easily scared. Some of us are much more grumpy, and cynical, while others are literal children. Please have patience with us, we are trying.

Other socials:

I do have some other platforms. This is the one im on second most often.

Discord: kledface [active]

Instagram: kartoffelzauberer [semi-active]

Twitter: kledface [inactive]

I have a reddit but i dont remember it

Technically i can invest in others but i dont really want to unless i have to, and there are some i havent listed but dont even worry about those, i dont want to be found

DNI:

Listen. Im a generally accepting person. But some people arent welcome here. No homophobes or transphobes, no terfs, no racists, no xenophobes, no ablists, no sexists, no ageists; If you hate someone for a fundamental aspect of their being, get the fuck out. Also, no anti-furs. This isnt the same, cause its more of a fandom thing, but if you hate someone for their fandom, i dont want to hear about it. Leave. Bye felicia. I will likely block you if you are a pro-shipper, because ew. And if you are any kind of pedophile, zoophile, or rapist, i would hunt you down and kill you myself if i could, i don't care how you excuse yourself, youre a disgraceful piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live, literally kill yourself. I hate saying and hearing that, but youre the kind of person who deserves it.

Finale:

I think that's it. Hit me up if you have questions or wanna talk, my askbox and messages are open. Thank you for coming to my KLEDtalk

[Kountenance, Lecturing, Education, Dick]

[umbr3llaz]

do i think people absolutely romanticize being a lesbian and have denial for liking or wanting men or being a man? yes. ive met them.

do people feel lesbian may oppress nb so want bi lesbian and then felt in their own security that they were inclusive- sounds like good intentions even when we go "lesbians also means nb" but i get that if its not written down we get anxiety we hurt others or exclude others of nb.

like gay, and bi, and trans, there isnt one straight (lel) arrow box landing on the lap of "you. are. this." some people feel "lesbian but nb leaning" is fetish and weird and long- and man i didnt know that. (and i dont think if you find yourself loving nb over cis means your maliciously like bad. love who you loved. it happened and happens)

i think also hating on a label that cant be undone or makes someone feel safe isnt fair to you or to them. all feelings on things are valid (maybe not behaviors. and maybe not labels. we dont all get that right) but i think the little bi lesbians trying it on want something more than you'll comprehend or understand but to say "that label is wrong for you" kinda goes off kilter. "so i just let them erase lesbians?" is a thought but also it feels kinda terfy because the main importance is that you say no to people you are not attracted to, rather than deciding who is a valid woman or let alone lesbian (like thats insane to tell someone they arnt a woman because they didnt lesbian enough or they arnt lesbianing good enough so hurry and have the answers and figure it out now for my understanding).

like if some high schoolers was like "im a bi lesbian masc domoreinted only sexual with blue eyes white dragon comfort level" id be like godamn you to the gulag for having me hear that grey spectrum of hodge podge- like no im not gonna say your perfect at everything you do your footing on this gives people pyschic damage but ykmow what its a feeling no one can take away - its like i accept your blue eyes white dragon ass sounding sexuality that doesnt mean i like or understand or comprehend. its not violent your different. its violent if we think someone is more valid than the other.

So now I’m a terf? After simply defending my right to an identity I find safety and comfort in? And you, someone who does not identify with the label, are going to tell me that I must accept the idea of men in lesbianism?

I’m so sad to see that this is what you’re going to do to lesbians in your life who try to defend themselves or push back in any way the mistreatment we face in this community.

Straight women already use my sexuality as an attempt to ward off men, and now we must accept that a more ‘liberal’ version of political lesbianism is our fucking future? No I won’t.

Goodbye, listen to more lesbians in the future

[theprideful]

(this is kinda long, sorry. when i started typing this i did not mean for it to get this long. like i 100% understand if you dont want to post this but i just had some feelings)

like as an afab lesbian i understand that a some of the terfs who have hurt trans women the most are lesbians. not "most terfs are lesbians" or "most lesbians are terfs" because neither of these are true but like, a lot of terfs that trans women (especially trans lesbians) have had specific transphobic interactions with have been lesbians or people who use lesbian allyship as an excuse for their transmisogyny

but like people have GOT to understand that lesbian does not equal terf and terf does not equal lesbian. i guarantee you there are more non-terf lesbians than there are terf lesbians. there are more lesbians who love and support trans women and trans people as a whole than there are terf lesbians.

if you think a specific lesbian might be a terf, look at their blog, look at what they're SAYING and DOING to back up your claim before you go "sounds terfy :-/" to every lesbian you meet, and its especially :-/ to say that on a POSITIVITY POST about an actual homophobic stereotype that a lot of cishets ACTUALLY BELIEVE about sapphic women. there are still plenty of cishets who still firmly believe that sapphic women/girls and gay men/boys are inherently predatory because of their attraction and that is what that post was about. it wasn't saying "lesbians can't be predatory" which is what i guess some people were assuming- it was saying that "being a lesbian does not make you predatory"

if you think lesbians making positivity posts about lesbians is terf-like, or you think it sounds like terf propaganda, you are lesbophobic. also like.... a post like that could have been made with full inclusion of trans lesbians (who get, i would say, twice the reputation of being "predatory"), it could have been made by a young cis lesbian who was being groomed by terfs to their cause and those replies caused them to think "wow, i guess they're right, trans people do hate lesbians", it could have been made by a trans lesbian. assuming that lesbian positivity is automatically terfish helps no one.

yes literally this! you’re right and it makes me so frustrated to see people being blatantly lesbophobic and then saying “well im just trying to be an ally to trans people ://“ like how is that being a good ally to just accuse random lesbians of being terfs? like i understand why that person was a bit wary because a lot of terfs do use that kind of rhetoric (i.e. (cis) lesbians are pure and never violent) but that’s not what my post was implying, it’s not transmisogynistic to say that lesbians aren’t predatory, and it couldn’t even really be construed that way unless you’re like, terminally online and intimately aware of how terfs employ those kinds of tactics. idk im just really sick of the knee-jerk reaction to any sort of positivity or discussion about lesbianism being drastically taken the wrong way and assumed to be “terf propaganda”. we can’t ever really be liberated if we’re always avoiding talking about ourselves and our sexuality out of fear of either being harassed by people who think we’re terfs, or actual terfs who want to lump us in with them, which is like really fucked up considering how cishets have oppressed and silenced us in the past by saying we’re preying on the poor innocent straight women and we shouldn’t talk openly about our attraction. and also, focusing on blaming other minorities and using lesbians as a scapegoat distracts from the very real issue of transmisogyny, which is at the heart of it. we should be fighting transphobia, not each other. im over it tbh

[hysokaz]

tw: transmisogyny/terfs

oh my god ive written this three times now so im just going to keep it curt someone called @ gender- fucks rb’d this post i made and i was like wtf cus i checked their profile and it was this

so i was like what the hell and i messaged them cus i was confused

at this point, i pretty much knew but they continued to bother me

now i was still confused so i just tried one last time for them to be direct with me

i really am stupid so i genuinely would not have been surprised if they werent a terf and i read it wrong, but theres no doubt about it writing this now 

heres a discord screenshot of my reaction 

very clearly i was trying to stone wall them so they would leave me alone, but they continued to send me some of their posts 

and other shit i dont want anyone else to see. i really did not want to engage anymore

but they kept going and i kinda got mad and confessed some personal stuff i dont think is really appropriate to bring up rn. not really relevant to this either way, but basically, they wouldnt quit it

like genuinely. i dont know if they realise that trans women dont want to date cis women who dont want to date them. and lesbians arent being told to kill themselves because of that if theyre getting backlash its because theyre calling transwomen pedophiles and predators for wanting to be who they are. sorry if i worded what i sent on that last thing up there weirdly, obviously transwomen are women and transwomen who like women are lesbians, all of that is obvious but i was pissed off that i genuinely had to explain dating preferences to this most likely adult. like, why are they talking to me about lesbians? im not a lesbian, this isnt my conversation to have, and i do not care.

i will half give them that point, yeah i messaged them but the constant “ok”s and “what do you want me to do about it” and “i dont care” didnt tell them that i was done with the conversation?

and this was the last thing

afterwards no more messages so they finally got it that i do not care or want to talk to them, and i did not continue to message them.

i shouldve handled some things better in this but genuinely i just asked one question and got thrown into a terf rabbithole when i never asked for it. i told them stop messaging me i dont care go to something else you wont change my mind i will not change yours go away, but they continued and it was a mess.

i feel responsible that i engaged in the first place, and since i couldnt find any posts mentioning this user, i guess ill make it. just block them and dont try to fight it wont go anywhere dont be stupid just dont do it. 

i dont know how to end this really so if you have the money then rb/give to some trans donations + if anyone wants to rb with like some carrds with info or donations and stuff then you should. please love trans people (transwomen in particular) more than you hate terfs.

[themadcapmathematician]

Honestly while we're on the subject of who terfs hate, can we talk about how they treat nb people? Like why do people pretend they love nb people more than other trans people? Because we're closer to Not Men? Because they claim to be accepting of us? Nonbinary people ruin their gender essentialism, they ruin the gender roles radfems insist on and cling to. Any group that is obsessed with the supposed gender and sex binary would never accept nonbinary people.

They speak about nonbinary people with disgust and use us as examples as to why the trans community is ~delusional~ and a danger to everyone. Why do people think they treat any of us well? Transphobic people never stop at nb ppl, in fact they often hate us some of the most

They appropriate our terms to ~own the tras~ and even tho they neither understand them nor care about the rights of nb people because why the fuck would they?? Why would people ever assume they do?? They only accept afab nb people the way they accept any afab trans person - if they cut ties with the trans community and "destransition". I swear to god some of you think afab nb people are already meeting radfems and terfs half way by existing

Also could people could stop pretending nb people cant be amab?? Amab nb people are super vulernable to radfem and terf hatred and bullshit ideology, but i have a suspicion some of you secretly think that if amab nb ppl arent enough like trans women theyre pm just cis men and maybe radfems/terfs have some kinda point about them

Honestly if people could stop treating us as men or women Lite and letting that factor into how they think radfems/terfs see us that would be fucking great lmfao i swear to god the reason people dont catch on that gatekeepers and hate groups hate nb ppl is bc they secretly agree with their nbphobia

[noctomania]

Expression (please excuse the novel length)

I remember back in elementary school when my school district voted on whether to turn my school to uniform policy. It was a public school and i had never felt so attacked before then or felt such a strong opinion about something personally. Mind you, i was maybe...10-12 yrs old (if that). This was a time when my self expression was about to take off and bloom. Suddenly though it was halted by uniform policy. I had heard both sides of it and valid points existed on both sides but i still feel it was wrong to enact because i am an advocate for open self expression (i mean without encroaching on other's rights so like my self expression couldn't be to sit on stranger's laps without invitation for example), mostly because that is how i connect best with people. I can't easily just strike up convo with strangers (trust me i have tried). Back then, it was usually a snarky message on my shirt that would draw people in to talk ("good morning is an oxymoron" or any emily strange stuff for example) I've always relished in (and grateful for) having autonomy over my appearance, it's one of the most rewarding things to be able to almost turn yourself inside out and tell the world "see? Do you see me now?" Whereas uniforms...they felt like a prison, like the erasure of my individuality. It also made everyone else seem so 2-D. Schools sometimes had trouble with students showing up in tshirts advertising alcohol or with inappropriate language on them, which is where I think the uniform idea came through most strongly. The economic hardship was left to the families though. Luckily i was allowed to wear pants and not forced into a skirt. I highly doubt guys would have been allowed to wear skirts though, but i never experienced any situations of that at my particular school. I wasn't social enough though to be sure it never happened. Something similar did occur in my high school years later though but instead of a skirt it was my friend and he would wear makeup but was repeatedly sent to detention for it because it was "distracting" I remember also in high school when i was going to be getting my senior picture which I didn't want in the first place. The senior photos were binary traditional and you had to wear this funny neck garment according to your, or what they assumed to be your, gender. This was all before i knew trans and i just knew i preferred the tux one to the one that looked like a dress. The photographer refused unless i got permission from the journalism teacher and I think the only reason she allowed me was because i was a "good quiet" student. But she was sure to let me know she felt it was highly inappropriate. I remember when i got a free leatherman jacket from being in my high school book club (i am The Coolest™) and we got to choose what name we wanted embroidered on the back. I'm proud to say i have my current name, andy, on it because even though the book club leader/librarian did try to push back on my request and tried to sway me into putting my birth name on it, i was insistent. I still have it and still wear it and otherwise i may not have even taken it. (It was free so turning it down wouldn't have been a big deal to me though I woulda been bummed to not get one even though they kinda forced me to take one anyway? It's complicated and thats all besides the point) See I'm someone who craves expression. I bottle up enough shit. Some things i wanna wear on my sleeves. Or my face. Or my hair. My gender expression has been pretty strong since day one. Not to say I wouldn't or have never gone more feminine in my appearance, it's just to say that i have not been the type to adopt an appearance based on what someone else says i am or should be. I don't feel the need to be absolutely masculine 100% i dont fear that which is feminine or androgynous. And i still remain critical of the unnecessary binary that is forced in societies. The products "for men💪/for women🌼" the bullshit of women just cannot be as strong as men the bullshit that women are inherently emotional moreso then men the absurd concept that to be a woman means to have a pussy and tits and to be a man you needa have a package (because clearly you just lose your identity when you get breast or ovarian or testicular cancer). "SO DUH ABOLISH GENDER SO MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE TREATED THE SAME" To turn a blind eye to the differences and intricacies along the gender SPECTRUM (or any innate identity spectrum) is to pretend we don't all have our own distinctive experiences and issues and is in fact a rejection of them. My gender is expressed how i see fit. Perhaps it is quite masculine and yes i did in fact get some surgery but no surgery is going to turn me cis, no hormones will remove all the experience i had as a AFAB for 20yrs no surgery is going to change my interests. I didn't seek hrt or surgery because of anyone else or to spite anyone or to attack anything, i did it to achieve a sense of Self I had never experienced before due to the limitations of my physical expression. I did it because i know how my mind perceives my body and it's never fit right until now. Like ive been a mismatched set of Tupperware that's finally been organized properly. My lid fits, i am a complete set on my own now, as opposed to trying to fit the mold of other's lids. I didn't change to be someone else, i changed my appearance to match who I Am. FORCED gender roles/expression is detrimental, not because of the gender, but because it's forced; because it's someone exerting (or trying to) inappropriate control where they have no right. Are cisfem who choose to take on the ultimate 50s nuclear family housewife life/look any less valid than a cisfem who refuses to fit any gendered life/looks? Or should both be seen as equal and valid in their accession of and right to their autonomy to identify themselves and express themselves how they see fit without any external criticism/dictation as to what is "right" or "appropriate" based on antiquated and/or irrational factors/ideologies? The point of identity is nobody can tell you what​/who you are. Perhaps they could guess, but that doesn't mean they are right or that they have authority over your identities. it's not a problem that gender exists. It's a problem that is has been monopolized and mutated and mythologized by people (yes of all varieties bc ideologies know no bounds) trying to dictate other's lives. It's a problem that it has been used as a tool to oppress rather than express. I've met just as many misogynistic women as i have men or even trans and non-binary folk. Everyone has the ability to be oppressive of someone else. When you have been oppressed, or fear being oppressed, you might take on an oppressive role yourself as a form of offense before you ever have to face bein on the defense, if you aren't critical of or moderate yourself. Though the effort may come from a place of self-preservation, it can still cause unnecessary harm and even be counterproductive, if not hypocritical. If we approach the problem for what it is (insertion of opinion where it is unwarranted and unnecessary) instead of attacking it's symptoms (gender expression), we will get to the real resolution with less inner-community squabbling. Don't pretend like you can tell someone who they are. You can argue your point without doing this. Don't pretend you are the ultimate source of knowledge for what you are fighting for. If it were all up to you there wouldn't be a movement, just you. Terfs and radfems may believe i should not have transitioned. Perhaps they feel I could have easily just continued to be a "tomboy", as i was frequently referred to as, and just bind my chest for the rest of my life and never feel a real connection with my Self. I would have remained in a state of self loathing and not only forever feeling less than i was meant to be (not because of my female form but because I wasn't able to be my Self) but forever having to face people identifying me incorrectly and always feeling that disconnect in communication when someone rejects or denies your identity. While being trans does still make me (only slightly due to passing standards and me being white) a target for hate crimes, before resolving my identity i was more likely to take my own life on top of still being a target for harassment due to being untraditional in my expression. Me being me, I've never had an issue with bein an untraditional person (very little about me is traditional), but when you have an inner war going on and you know you can do something good about it, I would never sway someone away from resolving that. Honestly i felt more a distance from feminism before transitioning because i never felt right if i tried to "proudly proclaim" bein a woman/womyn. i felt like a fraud which ultimately made me question if i was a feminist at all. Like I didn't not like women, and i was/am a proud feminist, i just didn't feel as if i was a woman and felt more like i was lying when the words came out which did to an extent feel like a form of betrayal to women and it wasn't til much later i understood it wasn't. I tried various forms of gender expression as a female but even in the best case scenarios it didn't sit right. Not knowing who you are foundationally makes it hard to know how you feel about others or how to accept others. Empathy and compassion require a certain level of knowing yourself so you can identify with another on our human level. If you're at fault with yourself it can be hard enough to love yourself much less anyone else. I feel trans-exclusionary feminists are stuck in that same stage i was stuck in when i was resolving my gender identity. But removing the issue from the context of gender kind of helps. Its not the identity itself that i hate, it's being forced into an identity i am not, never have been, and never will be. Imagine being forced to be a different person. How people identify you is all wrong and any time you try to assert your identity it is rejected. It's not an identity you can change (like a religion or a political leaning that may or may not change), but it's something not readily apparent, or is obstructed by the predisposition people may have about you based on what they see you as. You can call a bear a silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat but that's not going to change the fact that the bear is a bear, not going to change the bear's needs or instincts (reference from The Bear That Wasn't) I guess my point overall is: distinctive identity titles are born out of necessity, because thise identities exist. Identities also present the opportunity for us to recognize one another's differences and to learn how we connect and where we lack understanding of one another. Identities allow us short hand how to express ourselves verbally, yanno when interpretive dance is out of the question or inapplicable. Expression of identity is integral to feeling a sense of Self, to be able to trust yourself, and to be able to trust others. Identity should never be erased whether it be gender, sexual orientation, race, ability etc. Before I understood my gender identity i was compensating my lack of masculine appearance with overly-masculine attitude instead, which inevitably lent itself to toxic masculinity. I would catch myself acting that way sometimes and earnestly didn't know what was wrong with me. Now i know i was insecure. Now, I'm much more neutral and comfortable in my attitude since I'm not feeling the need to compensate for my appearance with my attitude. My transition was good for me and those around me. It allowed me to be a little less concerned with my issues and more concerned with the issues of a wider community. So I know this is long and I'm sorry. I don't expect anyone to have read this and i doubt that anyone who disagrees with me read it thoroughly (3 times top to bottom) as they should (to avoid making themselves look impulsive and irrational or cherry picking) before asserting their opinion, but here it is now and it's not goin anywhere. Thank god it's my weekend coming up... (Please if you respond do so respectfully. If you only wish to spit at me, do so in a direct message and leave the notes on this open for respectful conversation/debate, thank you kindly!)